State of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person
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Meet author, New York Times viral writer, and wife/mom Amanda McCracken, the woman who sat beside Katie Couric and was told she had 'fairytale princess syndrome' as she dreamed of romantic love. This comment launched a ten year research journey that became the book, When Longing Becomes Your Lover: Breaking from Infatuation, Rejection, and Perfectionism to Find Authentic Love, that we're talking about today on the brand new pod. Discover how limerence - obsessive romantic rumination - became both self-protection, avoidance, and self-sabotage all in one, not delivering and yet keeping thousands of individuals (married or single) from the healthy relationship they desired. Learn about the intersection of personality and limerent patterns, the science behind why we get addicted to unavailable people, and most, practical steps toward authentic love. Watch on YouTube! Show links: Get Amanda McCracken's book, "When Longing Becomes Your Lover" here! Learn more about Amanda and her writing here! Follow Amanda on Instagram here! Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here! Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Who's to blame for the tragic story of Adèle Hugo?This week, The Alarmist (Rebecca Delgado Smith) covers the story of Adèle Hugo, a tragic story of unrequited love and mental decline. Daughter of the famous writer Victor Hugo, described as more interested in public affairs than his nearest and dearest, did being the child of a star lead to her demise? Was Adèle experiencing an extreme case of Limerence, a term uncoined at the time? Or perhaps it was her own unrealistic expectations of love that's to blame. Fact Checker Faryn Einhorn and Producer Clayton Early join the conversation. Join our Patreon!Tell us who you think is to blame at http://thealarmistpodcast.comEmail us at thealarmistpodcast@gmail.comFollow us on Instagram @thealarmistpodcastFollow us on TikTok @thealarmistpodcastSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/alarmist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Do you want to overcome limerence and finally have a healthy relationship? My podcast guest, Amanda McCracken, wrote the book on how to stop infatuation to find authentic love. She's a journalist passionate about experiences that highlight the intersection of wellness, travel, and relationships. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Washington Post, Guardian, Vogue, and many others. She is considered a “limerence expert” and intimacy advocate. Her 2023 TED Talk, “How Longing Keeps Us From Healthy Relationships,” and her podcast, The Longing Lab, highlight how longing can become self sabotaging and shares how to change our patterns of longing. McCracken is also a part-time university instructor, massage therapist, triathlon coach, and competitive athlete. In this episode:The key characteristics of limerenceWho's most likely to be affected by limerence?How limerence affects your everyday lifeHow limerence and love addiction are alike and differentHow having ADHD predisposes one to having limerenceHow the current dating scene/culture affects those that experience limerence Connect with AmandaWebsite: https://www.amandajmccracken.com/FB: https://www.facebook.com/AmandaJanaeMcCrackenIG: https://www.instagram.com/amandajmccracken/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thelonginglab►Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/lastfirstdateradio ►If you're feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to find your last first date, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application ►Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate ►Get Sandy's books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love https://bit.ly/womanofvaluebook , Choice Points in Dating https://amzn.to/3jTFQe9 and Love at Last https://amzn.to/4erpj7C ►Get FREE coaching on the podcast! https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching ►FREE download: “Top 10 Reasons Why Men Suddenly Pull Away” http://bit.ly/whymendisappear ►FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/ ►Group Coaching: https://lastfirstdate.com/the-woman-of-value-club/ ►Website → https://lastfirstdate.com/ ► Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/lastfirstdate1/ ► TikTok → https://www.tiktok.com/@lastfirstdate1►Get Amazon Music Unlimited FREE for 30 days at https://getamazonmusic.com/lastfirstdate
Send us Fan MailWe're joined by John Dillon and Max Codoceo of CODE:WORDS to Interview Under Fire to talk about the band's rapid rise, signing with The Artery Foundation, and the emotional weight behind tracks like “Limerence” and “All Consuming.” For a band that's only been around since 2023, CODE:WORDS already feels like something much bigger — blending melody, electronics, and heaviness into a sound that feels both modern and deeply personal.We also get into the themes driving the music — obsession, burnout, emotional exhaustion, and self-preservation — along with the creative process behind building a band that wants people to feel something. Beyond the atmosphere and massive hooks, there's a real sense of honesty at the core of what they're creating, and it genuinely feels like they're only beginning to scratch the surface of where this band can go.Stay connected with CODE:WORDS, visit: https://www.codewordscult.com/, https://www.instagram.com/codewordsmusic/ and https://www.facebook.com/Codewordsmusic/Stay connected with IUF, visit: https://interviewunderfire.com/
The Los Angeles trio joins World Cafe to talk about their fourth studio album, Dancing on the Wall.See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy
Dr Kirk Honda continues his lecture on limerence. (Intro) May 6, 2026This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.00:00 Revisiting the definition of limerence23:08 How is limerence differentiated from ASD?27:09 How is limerence differentiated to ADHD?34:43 Reviewing the differencesSupport us by... Become a member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOUZWV1DRtHtpP2H48S7iiw/joinBecome a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattleContact us/more info... Email: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contactAbout Dr. Kirk: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/about-dr-kirk-hondaWebsite: https://www.psychologyinseattle.comGet stuff... Merch: https://psychologyinseattle-shop.fourthwall.com/KIRKgram (like Cameo): https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/kirkgramThe Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being. Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com
I spent 10 years obsessing over someone I barely knew. My brain kept her alive, replaying conversations that never actually happened. I thought it was love. It wasn't. I was addicted to my depiction of her in my mind.You aren't in love with them either. You're addicted to a ghost.This is limerence. And as INFPs, we're really good at building these internal representations—these NPCs in our minds that feel more real than actual people. Your introverted feeling tells you this connection is cosmic, that it's unique, that nobody understands the depth of what you share. But if you're obsessing over someone who isn't actually in your life, or whose actions don't match your intensity... that's not love. That's a chemical dependency on a fantasy.In this video, I break down:• What limerence actually is (and why it's not just a crush)• The "swooper" event and how the introject forms• Why your INFP cognitive functions make you incredible at building these obsessive fantasies• How your brain is choosing guaranteed dopamine hits over the messiness of reality• A specific mind wizardry technique to change the internal coding of this obsessionThe person in your head isn't the real them. They're a symbol. Your brain tagged them as a generator of safety, of being seen, of being cared for. And you're chasing that symbol because you want that feeling in your life.Want to master the technique? Check out my Mind Wizardry training: http://geekpsychology.com/mindwizardry00:00 Introduction: Obsessing Over a Stranger00:52 Understanding Limerence03:17 The Role of INFP Cognitive Functions04:51 The Danger of Limerent Introjects08:39 Using Extraverted Intuition Intentionally10:41 Mind Wizardry: Reprogramming Your Feelings14:38 Conclusion: Changing Your Mind
What's the difference between lust, limerence and love? Can love be addictive? Is romantic love technically even real? And if love is so natural to humans then why do we struggle with it? These are just a few of the questions we get answered by world renowned evolutionary anthropologist Dr Anna Machin, an expert whose research focuses on why we love.SHOW NOTES:Your love stories pod ep: Is Monogamy natural? pod ep: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmlHf6yvSb4Where you can find Dr Machin's work: https://annamachin.com/DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
Att vara vettlöst kär i någon kan förstås vara något att längta efter. Men vad händer när det går överstyr och hur kan man skydda sig från de värsta konsekvenserna?Klipp:11.16 Hercules15:54 Gone with the Wind27:05 Dumb and Dumber32:44 Addams Family ValuesRedigering: Peter MalmqvistKontakta oss på dummamanniskor@gmail.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Send us Fan MailYour spouse seems obsessed with someone else, they can't put their phone down, and you're left staring at the wreckage asking, “Was any of this real?” Today we name the pattern that explains so much of the chaos after infidelity: limerence. It can look like love, but it often behaves more like an intense emotional addiction fueled by fantasy, secrecy, uncertainty, and a dopamine rush that keeps the affair looping.We walk through the most common signs of limerence in an affair, from intrusive thoughts and emotional dependence to rewriting reality with soulmate stories and minimizing consequences. I also share why it can feel like your partner turns into a stranger overnight, changing habits, priorities, and even their identity to match the fantasy. If you've been stuck trying to decode their behavior, this conversation gives you language for what you're seeing and permission to stop taking it as proof that you weren't enough.Then we bring it back to you and your healing after betrayal trauma. Limerence is not a reflection of your worth, and you can't compete with a fantasy that has zero real-life responsibility. We talk about getting grounded, regulating your nervous system, and going inward so you can rebuild confidence and create clarity whether your spouse “snaps out of it” or not. If you want to understand what stage of betrayal you're in, take the free quiz at lifecoachgen.com (Jen with one N) and then subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find support.Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 45 min. clarity call via zoom. Email me: hello@lifecoachjen.com for any comments or questions. Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends. My website is www.lifecoachjen.com take the Free Quiz to find out how- How healed you are?
En este episodio hablamos de esa obsesión que se siente como amor… pero no lo es, se llama "Limerence". Ese loop de pensar en alguien todo el día, justificar migajas y no poder soltar aunque sabes que no te conviene. Contamos nuestras experiencias, por qué pasa y cómo empezar a salir de ahí.Join the club!--Forma parte del secret club! Ingresa en https://www.patreon.com/alcontrariopodcast Tu voz es súper importante para nosotras! Ingresa aquí - https://forms.gle/JYQbq8tDnf9NRaRS7 Link del buzón secreto - https://forms.gle/ZBsMfe2cBhhJr8aM8
The author of Attached, Amir Levine, M.D., is back with a new book called Secure and a whole new framework for understanding why your relationships feel the way they do. In this episode, we get into the biggest misconceptions about anxious and avoidant attachment, the truth about whether you can actually change your attachment style, why avoidants shut down instead of showing up, what a "closeness overdose" is and why it kills perfectly good relationships, and the five pillars of a secure life built around his CARP framework: consistent, available, responsive, reliable, and predictable. If you've ever been stuck in anxious hyper-vigilance, wondered how to build a secure relationship with someone more avoidant, struggled with limerence and obsessive attachment, or just wanted to stop letting your nervous system run the show, this episode gives you real, research-backed tools to start rewiring your brain toward earned secure attachment starting today. Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026, "Why Am I Like This?" If you're ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step HERE! If you're serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE! Get Ad free HERE! Want to work with Sabrina? HERE! Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE! Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! Please support our sponsors! Treat yourself to gear that looks good, feels good, and doesn't break the bank with Fabletics. Go to Fabletics.com/SABRINA and sign up as a VIP and get eighty percent off everything! ============================= Chapters: 0:00 Intro: Amir Levine & Secure 2:17 From Attached to Secure 3:44 Biggest Attachment Myths Debunked 6:18 The Truth About Avoidant Attachment 7:47 What Is a Closeness Overdose 11:08 Anxious Avoidant Relationships 15:23 The CARP Framework Explained 22:46 Micro Interactions Rewire Your Brain 25:32 Anxious Attachment as a Superpower 35:22 Limerence and Obsessive Attachment Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Ta nejlepší věc pro tvůj nervový systém je další člověk. A ta nejhorší ale taky. Už touhle větou se tenhle díl trefuje přesně do místa, kde dnes vztahy skutečně žijeme: mezi touhou po blízkosti a strachem z nejistoty. S Markétou Šetinovou rozebíráme, jak vypadá moderní dating ve světě aplikací, ghostingu, situationshipů a přemíry možností. Proč se tolik lidí cítí randěním vyčerpaně, proč intenzita ještě neznamená kompatibilitu a proč vztah nemusí vždy vzniknout z velké chemie. Někdy se vyplatí dát čas i tomu, co nepřichází jako okamžitá limerence, ale může nést větší stabilitu.Proč dnešní dating podporuje limerenci, nejistotu a intenzivní emoční výkyvy. Proč dating apps často vedou k dating burnout, ghostingu a pocitu nedostatku skutečného connection.Proč nemusí každý dobrý vztah vzniknout z okamžité chemie a proč se někdy vyplatí dát přitažlivosti víc času. Jak přemýšlet o lásce jinak, ne jako o něčem, co se pouze najde, ale co se může budovat. Proč jsou i nemainstreamové vztahy často podobné v tom nejdůležitějším, v potřebě blízkosti, komunikace a porozumění.Proč je ve vztazích čím dál důležitější flexibilita a schopnost adaptace.Parťák dílu:Macromo:Krevní testy jsou objektivní data ohledně vašeho zdraví. Nechte si udělat premium krevní testy na jednom ze 120 odběrových míst a výsledky dostanete pohodlně do Macromo aplikace. Můj nejoblíbenější aspekt je sledování dlouhodobých trendů v průběhu času, tak si objednej premium testy s Macromo.com a zadej kod "BWA" Uplife.cz -Zadej kód "BWA" pro slevu 10% na vybrané zboží na eshopu https://www.uplife.cz/brain-we-are/Kam dále?Kup si jeden z našich online kurzů Průvodce Mozkem a Myslí, nebo Mentální Modely a s kódem "BWA30" je tam SLEVA 30%!Zadej kód "BWA" pro slevu 10% na vybrané zboží na eshopu uplife.cz a herbal-store.cz Sledujte Brain We Are na sociálních sítích: Instagram ( www.instagram.com/brain_we_are ) nebo Facebook Minutáž:00:00 Úvod a přivítání hosta05:23 Experimentování s AI boyfriendem v aplikaci Replika08:20 Fenomén limerence a tvoření vztahů ve vlastní hlavě11:27 Jak chybějící reálný základ zhoršuje limerenci12:36 Zmatek, nejistota a situace (situationships) v moderním randění14:01 Kdo nese zodpovědnost za komunikaci hranic a exkluzivity17:06 Kdy vytáhnout na rande svá očekávání a nezabít tím náladu20:51 Dating burnout: Proč jsou lidé vyhořelí z randících aplikací21:48 Studie o ghostingu: Láska osudová vs. láska budovaná22:52 Fixní vs. růstový mindset ve vztazích26:01 Preference gap: Rozdíl mezi tím co chceme a s kým reálně končíme27:55 Proč na seznamkách špatně odhadujeme kompatibilitu30:19 Chlubení, peníze a proč ego na prvním rande nefunguje32:11 Co klienti nejčastěji řeší v terapiiPřechod do VIP části- Past sebediagnostiky a vliv psychologie na Instagramu- Zmatek z protichůdných vztahových rad od influencerů- Nekompatibilita a proč nikoho neodepisovat po první chybě- Zamilovávání se do nevhodných lidí a proč dát šanci "hodným"- Bizardní studie o vlivu mužského potu na ženský nervový systém- Jak a proč ukončovat nezdravé vztahy- Kohabitace a sexualita: Co se u dnešních generací reálně změnilo?- Dopaminové hledání, umělé vazby a přesun vztahů do online prostoru
In this episode of Therapy Thursdays, John responds to listener questions about love, trust, identity, and the emotional patterns that keep us stuck. He explores the difference between real love and limerence, why some people struggle to let love in, and how fear can disguise itself as protection, control, or certainty. He also gets into the tension between equality and fairness in relationships, what it means to outgrow an old identity, and how past betrayal, heartbreak, or attachment wounds can shape the way we connect. From red flags and self-worth to trust after infidelity, this episode is a deep dive into the patterns that quietly run our relationships. If you have ever wondered whether what you are feeling is love, fear, fantasy, or unresolved pain, this conversation will help you look deeper.
Amanda McCracken joins Let's Talk Memoir for a conversation about what happens when you're hopelessly, stubbornly in love with longing, fear of intimacy, the idea of falling in love vs. being in love, person addiction, choices around sex, longing for avoidant men, recognizing the illusion of control, applying to speak at Tedx talks, going to social media to find publishers, becoming an expert on a topic, learning how to trust yourself, self-compassion, becoming more real, and her new book When Longing Becomes Your Lover: Breaking from Infatuation, Rejection, and Perfectionism to Find Authentic Love: A True Story of Overcoming Limerence. Also in this episode: -wanting to be seen -being a guest on a national talk show -publishing articles on virginity and celibacy Books mentioned in this episode: Drinking: A Love Story by Carolyn Knapp Appetites by Carolyn Knapp Unrequited by Lisa A. Phillips Love and Limerence by Dorothy Tennov The Velveteen Rabbit by MArgery Williams Amanda McCracken is a journalist passionate about experiences that highlight the intersection of wellness, travel, and relationships. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Washington Post, Guardian, Vogue, National Geographic, Elle, NPR, Outside, ESPN, SELF, Runner's World, and many others. She published her first article about longing in 2013, which led to additional articles featuring personal anecdotes and deep research and interviews with the BBC and Katie Couric. She is now considered a “limerence expert” and intimacy advocate. Her 2023 TED Talk, “How Longing Keeps Us From Healthy Relationships,” highlights how longing can become selfsabotaging and shares how to change our patterns of longing. McCracken is also a part-time university instructor, massage therapist, triathlon coach, and competitive athlete. Raised in Cincinnati, Ohio, McCracken put down roots with her husband and daughter in Boulder, Colorado, after a trip around the world aboard the Peace Boat. Connect with Amanda: Website: www.amandajmccracken.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amandajmccracken Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AmandaJanaeMcCracken/ Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@thelonginglab Get the book: https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/amanda-mccracken/when-longing-becomes-your-lover/9781546008538/ – Ronit's writing has appeared in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, Poets & Writers, The Iowa Review, Hippocampus, The Washington Post, Writer's Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named Finalist in the 2021 Housatonic Awards Awards, the 2021 Indie Excellence Awards, and was a 2021 Book Riot Best True Crime Book. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts' 2020 Eludia Award and the 2023 Page Turner Awards for Short Stories. She earned an MFA in Nonfiction Writing at Pacific University, is Creative Nonfiction Editor at The Citron Review, and teaches memoir through the University of Washington's Online Continuum Program and also independently. She launched Let's Talk Memoir in 2022, lives in Seattle with her family of people and dogs, and is at work on her next book. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com Subscribe to Ronit's Substack: https://substack.com/@ronitplank Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank https://bsky.app/profile/ronitplank.bsky.social
In this compelling episode of the Secret Life Podcast, host Brianne Davis-Gantt takes a deep dive into the captivating yet often destructive phenomenon of limerence. Drawing from her own experiences, Brianne unpacks the emotional rollercoaster of idealizing others and the chaos that ensues when we attach magical qualities to those we desire. She explores the four stages of limerence—attraction, obsession, frustration, and resolution—offering listeners a clear understanding of how these stages manifest in relationships.Brianne candidly shares the challenges of breaking free from the fantasy of limerence, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and reflection. She provides practical strategies for overcoming this emotional trap, such as re-dating your partner, focusing on self-love, and engaging in new hobbies. This episode is a must-listen for anyone who finds themselves lost in the allure of fantasy relationships and is seeking to reclaim their emotional power.Join Brianne as she guides you through the complexities of limerence, encouraging you to embrace the reality of your relationships and prioritize your well-being over fleeting fantasies. This enlightening conversation is sure to resonate with anyone navigating the intricate world of love and attachment.
Limerence, obsessive dating thoughts, and why you can't stop checking your phone? Matchmaker Maria sits down with journalist and author Amanda McCracken, whose writing on relationships has been published in the New York Times, Guardian, and Vogue, to break down the psychology of intense romantic infatuation. Amanda shares how she dated over 100 men, struggled with "anchormen" from her past, and realized she was addicted to longing, not love. They unpack dopamine hits from texting, why intermittent responses keep you hooked, and how purity culture and hookup culture can wire you for obsession. Plus, what to do when your mood depends on a text back, why "butterflies" can be anxiety, and the exact mindset shift that helps you stop chasing unavailable people. If you've ever reread texts, stalked Instagram, or felt addicted to someone after 4 dates, this episode is your wake-up call. Be sure to pick up a copy of When Longing Becomes Your Lover today! ♥️JOIN MARIA'S COMMUNITY + SUBMIT A QUESTION ❓ Ready to date with intention?
Sleepless nights. Intrusive thoughts. Gushing adoration. Is that obsessive feeling true love? Sarah and Alex unpack experiences as givers and recievers of limerant feelings, and try to differentiate between limerance and new relationship energy, anxious attachment, and...Irish poetry? Happy St. Patrick's Day! Mentioned in the episode: Loves Out Loud | New Relationship Energy | Love and Limerence by Dorothy Tennov | Yumi Sakugawa Limerance Instagram Follow us: mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Interlude music "Infatuation" by The Stevedore Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
You know that feeling. You're going about your day and, out of nowhere, they're in your head again. You replay a conversation from three weeks ago. You check your phone even though you know you didn't hear it buzz. You catch yourself spinning out a whole imaginary future and then, when they actually do text, the rush is so intense it's almost physical. But when they go quiet? Or when you can't tell how they feel about you? The whole thing somehow gets even more intense. Most people call that falling in love. But what if it isn't?Today we're talking about limerence: what it actually is, how it's different from love, how to know if you're in it, and what to do if you are. Whether you're single, partnered, or in a relationship and suddenly consumed by someone who isn't your partner, this episode will give you the language and the clarity you've been missing.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/limerence-vs-love Get the download: Am I in Limerence or Love? A Clarity Checklist: https://abbymedcalf.com/limerance-checklistJoin my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack. You'll get...✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby_________ Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/
Working with Limerent – Feeling Out of Your Depth as a Student Counsellor In Episode 369 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, your hosts Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly take us through this week's three topics: Firstly, in ‘Ethical, Sustainable Practice', they explore working with shame in the therapy room – how shame presents, how it differs from guilt, and how to work with it gently and ethically. Then in ‘Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Nadine Pittam about limerence – a powerful and often overwhelming state of obsessive romantic attachment – and how therapists can work safely and effectively with clients experiencing it. And finally, in ‘Student Services', Rory and Ken discuss what to do when you feel out of your depth as a counselling student, offering reassurance, practical guidance, and encouragement. Working with Shame in the Therapy Room [starts at 03:24 mins] In this section, Rory and Ken explore working with shame in the therapy room, unpacking the complex and often hidden nature of shame, how it presents in clients, and how therapists can respond sensitively and ethically. Key points discussed include: Shame is identity-based (“there is something wrong with me”), whereas guilt relates to behaviour (“I did something wrong”). Shame often hides itself and may present subtly through withdrawal, minimising, avoidance, anger, or difficulty maintaining eye contact. Triggers can include criticism, rejection, humiliation, invalidation, bullying, coercion, or conditional approval. The cycle of shame involves activation, negative self-beliefs, coping strategies (withdrawal, control, emotional numbing), temporary relief, and reinforcement. Working with shame requires gentleness – noticing body language, naming shame carefully, and pacing the work to avoid overwhelming the client. Reflective questions such as “When do you first remember feeling this way?”, “Who taught you that you were not good enough?”, and “What did you need at that time that you didn't receive?” can open healing dialogue. Separating identity from experience is central – helping clients understand that what happened to them does not define who they are. Supervision and reflective practice are essential when working with shame, both for client safety and therapist self-awareness. Working with Limerent [starts at 33:53 mins] In this week's ‘Practice Matters', Rory speaks with Nadine Pittam about limerence – a term coined by Dorothy Tennov to describe an intense, involuntary state of romantic obsession. Key points from this conversation include: Limerence is not simply infatuation or love; it is an addictive, dysregulated state marked by intrusive thoughts and emotional dependency. It can feel life-or-death in intensity and may result in relationship breakdowns, loss of identity, and significant emotional distress. The limerent object is often someone partially known (e.g. a colleague, acquaintance, former partner), allowing projection of unmet attachment needs. Therapy focuses on the client's unmet needs and attachment history, rather than on analysing the limerent object. The therapist validates the emotional pain while gently challenging the belief that the other person will “solve” the distress. Limerence may involve “eroticised abandonment”, where rejection or unavailability intensifies obsession. Clear professional boundaries are vital, as therapists themselves may become the limerent object through transference. This is often longer-term work, requiring emotional honesty, self-compassion, and sustained therapeutic engagement. Feeling Out of Your Depth as a Student Counsellor [starts at 57:30 mins] In this section, Rory and Ken explore the common experience of feeling overwhelmed or inadequate during counselling training and placement. Key points include: Feeling out of your depth is common and often reflects care, responsibility, and commitment rather than incompetence. Imposter syndrome affects both students and qualified practitioners – it does not disappear after training. Clients may bring complex or distressing material that feels very different from classroom skills practice. Your role is not to fix clients or have all the answers, but to offer warmth, empathy, and a safe, non-judgemental space. Being deeply heard is rare and powerful – the therapeutic relationship itself is often the primary healing factor. If the work feels overwhelming, take it to supervision, personal therapy, and peer discussion rather than carrying it alone. You were accepted onto your course because your tutors believe in your readiness and potential. Developing robustness is part of training – feeling stretched can be a sign of growth. Reflective practice and open dialogue prevent self-doubt from becoming hidden shame. Links and Resources Counselling Skills Academy Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide Counsellor CPD Counselling Study Resource Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide Counselling Tutor Training and CPD Facebook group Website Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner's Guide Online and Telephone Counselling Course
On this episode of Good Noise Podcast, I'm joined by John Dillion of CODE:WORDS to talk about their single Limerence. We dive into the emotions behind the track, the meaning of limerence itself, and how those feelings shaped both the lyrics and the overall mood of the song.John opens up about the writing process, emotional honesty, and translating intense inner experiences into something listeners can connect with. We also talk about vulnerability, self-reflection, and how Limerence fits into the band's evolving sound and direction.CODE:WORDS Socials:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codewordsmusic/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Codewordsmusic/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@codewordsmusicYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codewordsmusicApple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/code-words/1742693972Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/7C0WgfsDPjdDo17lsKSPmy?si=220UoG7RS_ODnP3xijqtMw&nd=1&dlsi=3d4bfb757e8249d9
So many of us have gone through big heartbreaks that served as initiations on our path. Maybe you went through a big breakup that rocked your world, a divorce you never saw coming, or just a slow ending of a relationship you knew deep in your soul was not in alignment. And now you're not really sure when or how you're going to meet that truly aligned sacred union partner. Here's what I know for sure: the version of you that needs to walk into that relationship does not yet exist. And neither does theirs. And when you both do, it is inevitable. In this episode we explore:
In this episode, Mari Llewellyn shares her inspiring weight loss story and how she turned her pain into a flourishing wellness business with her supplement line, Bloom. Mari + Krista unpack topics like beauty standards, depression, and the challenges of being in the public eye. Morning Microdose is a podcast curated by Krista Williams and Lindsey Simcik, the hosts and founders of Almost 30, a global community, brand, and top rated podcast. With curated clips from the Almost 30 podcast, Morning Mircodose will set the tone for your day, so you can feel inspired through thought provoking conversations…all in digestible episodes that are less than 10 minutes. Wake up with Krista and Lindsey, both literally and spiritually, Monday-Friday. If you enjoyed this conversation, listen to the full episode on Spotify here and on Apple here.
Limerence, or unrequited infatuation/preoccupied attachment, can make a partner feel just as objectified as sexual objectification can. All about how this works and why planning a million date nights isn't helping your relationship.The promised resources:My Husband: https://amzn.to/4qy7tWwVideo of guy coming up behind wife at sink: https://www.facebook.com/reel/1208664274068724Limerent woman article: https://www.self.com/story/limerence-virgin-at-41If you enjoy my content, here's my buy me a coffee link! https://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmomJoin my awesome Midlife Women's Group here: drpsychmom.com/mwgTo get over 200 more episodes, most recently "Flexibility: The Most Important Quality In A Partner," subscribe here! https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmomFor coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/For therapy or coaching, contact us at https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/
TRACKLIST: 1. Paradise Valley - Jay Daniel [@jaydaniel] 2. see u irl - Justend & Souly Had [@justend @entrebandhad] 3. Selfish - Charlotte Day Wilson [@charlottedaywilson] 4. Andrea - Bad Bunny & Buscabulla 5. 3000 Miles (Baby Baby) - Yeek [@yeek] 6. Photosynthesis (feat. Jean Deaux) - Saba [@sabapivot] 7. LIMERENCE (feat. Malaya) - Obi Ali 8. 2MANYTHINGS [Saï T REMIX] - Gwen Bunn [@gwenbunn @saitbeats] 9. COCONUT - SAILORR & Eem Triplin [@fromfloridasfinest @eemtriplin] 10. TAI CHI - Sasha Keable [@sasha-keable] 11. To B Honest - Jill Scott & JID [@missjillscott @jidsv] 12. Come and Go - Kaelin Ellis, Mick Jenkins & Saba [@kaelinellisog @mickjenkins @sabapivot] 13. 24/7 - S. Fidelity [@sfidelity] 14. as you stand next to me - Gabriel Jacoby [@poetfromtheville] 15. Piece of You - Joji & GIVĒON [@jojiofficial @giveon] 16. Somewhere (feat. Fishdoll) - Soft Glas [@softglas] 17. DEVOTION - Justin Bieber & Dijon 18. Blessed - rum.gold [@rumgold]
Temima Weissmann reads her poem "It Happened," and Dion O'Reilly reads her poem "It Is What It Is."Temima Weissmann is an eighteen-year-old poet from Passaic, NJ. She was the Editor-in-Chief of her high school literary journal Sambatyon, and was awarded The Hersh & Fannie Fluss Memorial Award for Excellence in Hebrew Literature at her high school graduation. Previously published in The Lerhaus, Temima's poetry explores the presence of religion and faith in everyday life.Dion O'Reilly is the author of Sadness of the Apex Predator (Cornerstone 2025), Ghost Dogs (Terrapin Books 2020); and Limerence, a 2025 finalist for the Floating Bridge Chapbook Competition. Her work appears in Cincinnati Review, Rhino, Alaska Quarterly Review, Gulf Coast, The Sun, and Rattle. A podcaster at The Hive Poetry Collective and co-editor of Ent•Trance Journal, she splits her time between California and Washington.
System Speak: Dissociative Identity Disorder ( Multiple Personality Disorder )
We explore about “Limerence” as a trauma response.Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast.You can submit an email to the podcast HERE.You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any device just fine. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, movie groups, social events, and classes. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us!Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in each episode. Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse. Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience. Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity. While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice. Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you. Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency. This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
Today, Kait and JJ dive deep into the world of limerence, breaking down what it really is, how it differs from infatuation and a crush, and offering practical wisdom for anyone struggling to break free from obsessive romantic fantasies! Need 1:1 support for your specific dating situation? Book a coaching call today! https://www.heartofdating.com/coaching Find out your Dating Personality Type for free by taking our QUIZ here! https://www.heartofdating.com/quiz Join Basics of Dating! The 6-Week Program for the Christian single feeling stuck, anxious, or healing from heartbreak. https://www.heartofdating.com/basics-of-dating Love Heart of Dating Podcast? Want to support us AND be a part of the fam? Join us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/heartofdating Subscribe to our YouTube channel here! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ1PswEXEyeSddMmOSiRKGw Crushing on a cutie? Download this FREE Resource on how to show interest: https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/how-to-show-interest Want to further your dating knowledge? Check out our ultimate dating library! https://www.heartofdating.com/resource/ultimate-dating-library Kait wrote a book! Snag Thank You For Rejecting Me on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3E59cLQ Want to meet some epic Christian Singles? Join our huge HOD Family on FB! https://www.facebook.com/groups/heartofdatingpodcast Come hang with us on the gram: http://instagram.com/heartofdating http://instagram.com/kaitness https://www.instagram.com/jjtomlin/?hl=en Interested in advertising on this show? Learn more here! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/16V_c91F1iIYNZOVvrEinrB9h2dsZq-kZFqYYEDQ4A60/viewform?edit_requested=true . . . . . Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this episode, we sit down with author Amanda McCracken to explore the "purity to limerence pipeline"—where religious expectations of "the one" collide with the addictive rush of romantic obsession. We discuss how waiting for a soulmate can inadvertently prime us for a life of chronic longing rather than real connection. Join us as we deconstruct the spiritual and feminist implications of choosing fantasy over the grounded, messy reality of being known.
System Speak: Dissociative Identity Disorder ( Multiple Personality Disorder )
We explore about “Limerence” as a trauma response.Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast.You can submit an email to the podcast HERE.You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any device just fine. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, movie groups, social events, and classes. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us!Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in each episode. Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse. Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience. Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity. While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice. Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you. Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency. This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
"She's a ten to me and that's the part that matters." — Paul EastwickIf it's Valentine's Day, we must be talking about love. Paul Eastwick studies attraction and relationships at UC Davis, and his new book Bonded by Evolution takes aim at the "old science" that treated romance like a competitive market where everyone gets assigned a number. The incels, of course, ran with that research to compound their paranoia about the other sex. Eastwick says they got it wrong—and so, with the exception of Paul Eastwick, did most academics.When two people look at the same photograph and make a hot-or-not judgment, Eastwick explains, they only agree about 65% of the time. After they've known the person for months, agreement drops to barely better than a coin flip. So there isn't any universal hierarchy of desirability. What's real is that some people will think you're an 8 and others will think you're a 3—and that quirky disagreement explains most of what happens in the science of attraction. The problem is that dating apps make everything feel like they're in a market, thereby filtering out the "slow burn" people who need time to grow on you. Eastwick's advice, therefore, is forget swiping, reboot your social networks, throw candle lit dinner parties where nobody knows each other. It's more democratic, it takes longer, and it actually works. Happy V day everyone.About the GuestPaul Eastwick is Professor of Psychology at UC Davis, where he studies attraction and close relationships. He is the author of Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection (2026) and co-host of the podcast Love Factually with Eli Finkel.ReferencesConcepts discussed:● The mating market hypothesis treats attraction like an economic exchange where people are assigned desirability values and seek partners at their "level"—an idea Eastwick argues is far more limited than academics have assumed.● Limerence is the academic term for the intense, obsessive early stage of romantic attraction—what we might call infatuation or passion.● The Dunbar number (~150) represents the cognitive limit on stable social relationships—roughly the size of hunter-gatherer groups where our mating psychology evolved.● Pair bonding emerged in human evolution about two million years ago as brain size increased and children required longer periods of intensive parental investment.● Attachment theory describes the deep bonds that form when we trust someone to have our back, celebrate our successes, and support us through difficulty.Evolution and mating:● Human males became smaller relative to females and lost their sharp canines as women selected for men who were safe around babies—"the evolved male is the good caregiver and good dad."● Unlike gorillas with their harem-style mating, humans shifted toward pair bonding because helpless infants with expanding brains needed investment from both parents.● Polyamory research shows that people can form genuine attachment bonds with multiple partners—trust, wellbeing, and attachment levels match or exceed monogamous couples.Also mentioned:● Eli Finkel is Eastwick's co-host on the Love Factually podcast and author of The All-or-Nothing Marriage.● When Harry Met Sally (1989) depicts "one of the most beautiful friendships on screen," according to Eastwick, and holds up well on the friends-to-lovers pathway.● Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet (1996) was the subject of a recent Love Factually episode—"that MTV style of filmmaking" with Claire Danes and Leonardo DiCaprio.● The incel and manosphere communities have taken 1990s attraction research and "run with it in some strange and unjustified ways."About Keen On AmericaNobody asks more awkward questions than the Anglo-American writer and filmmaker Andrew Keen. In Keen On America, Andrew brings his pointed Transatlantic wit to making sense of the United States—hosting daily interviews about the history and future of this now venerable Republic. With nearly 2,800 episodes since the show launched on TechCrunch in 2010, Keen On America is the most prolific intellectual interview show in the history of podcasting.WebsiteSubstackYouTubeApple PodcastsSpotify
System Speak: Dissociative Identity Disorder ( Multiple Personality Disorder )
We explore “Limerence” as a trauma response.Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast.You can submit an email to the podcast HERE.You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any device just fine. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, movie groups, social events, and classes. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us!Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in each episode. Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse. Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience. Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity. While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice. Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you. Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency. This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
Tom Bellamy's new book, Smitten: Romantic Obsession, the Neuroscience of Limerence, and How to Make Love Last, is out now.
Have you ever found yourself caught in a whirlwind of infatuation, unable to discern between love and obsession? In this conversation, Dr. Alexandra and journalist and author Amanda McCracken discuss limerence, a state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings. Drawing from her compelling new book, When Longing Becomes Your Lover, Amanda shares her personal journey through the complexities of limerence, shedding light on how modern dating practices and social media amplify this intense emotional state. Beyond the macro/cultural factors, you will hear about the individual risk factors that can lead to patterns of limerence, such as painful early experiences and certain neuro-wirings/diagnoses, like ADHD and autism. You will also hear about how Amanda approached healing from her limerent patterns and opened herself up to a healthy, reciprocal intimate partnership.Resources worth mentioning from the episode:When Longing Becomes Your Lover: Breaking from Infatuation, Rejection, and Perfectionism to Find Authentic Love: A True Story of Overcoming Limerence by Amanda McCracken https://bookshop.org/p/books/when-longing-becomes-your-lover-breaking-from-infatuation-rejection-and-perfectionism-to-find-authentic-love-a-true-story-of-overcoming-limerence-a/ef0e30a5bd30e10b?aid=116429&ean=9781546008538&listref=2026-most-anticipated-memoirs-and-essay-collections&next=tLearn more about Amanda McCracken: https://www.amandajmccracken.com/Follow Amanda McCracken on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thelonginglabListen to The Longing Lab Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-longing-lab/id1606581375Dr. Tom Bellamy's Living With Limerence: https://livingwithlimerence.com/about/Reimagining Love episode Crushes, First Love, and Heartbreak: Supporting Teens Through Relationship Milestones with Lisa A. Phillips https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/crushes-first-love-and-heartbreak-supporting-teens/id1588419386?i=1000704425459&l=ruContinue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Access Resources, like quizzes and courses: https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/resourcesOrder Dr. Alexandra's book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra's Loving Bravely newsletter: https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Delanie Fischer chats with neuroscientist and author of Smitten, Dr. Tom Bellamy, about limerence. They discuss the evolutionary roots of limerence, why only 50% of the population experiences it, guidance for those amidst infatuation (whether reciprocal or not), when it crosses the line into prolonged limerence, and practical tips for breaking the cycle of romantic obsession. Episode Highlights: Why Romantic Partners May Not Understand Your Feelings Dopamine: The Common Misconception and How It Really Works When Limerence Should Wear Off (And What If It Doesn't?) Prolonged Limerence: Why Eradicating Uncertainty is Key Limerence and Infatuation vs. Delusion and Stalking ____ A quick 5-star rating means a ton! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-helpless/id1251196416 Get a bunch of free Self-Helpless goodies: https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/ Ad-free episodes (audio & video) now on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless Your Host, Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.com ____ Related Episodes: Cracking The Code To Behavior Change: Troubleshooting Tiny Barriers That Destroy Big Goals with Molly Maxwell: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/24e651e8/cracking-the-code-to-behavior-change-troubleshooting-tiny-barriers-that-destroy-big-goals-with-molly-maxwell 7 Shocking Truths About Codependency And Addiction with Heidi Rain: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/24c74079/7-shocking-truths-about-codependency-and-addiction-with-heidi-rain The Dark Side of Fetishization: Representation, Stereotypes, and Origins with Kaila Yu: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/3b8cfe65/the-dark-side-of-fetishization-representation-stereotypes-and-origins-with-kaila-yu Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr Kirk Honda interviews Dr Tom Bellamy about his book on limerence, Smitten: Romantic obsession, the neuroscience of limerence, and how to make love last. February 6, 2026This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.Become a member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOUZWV1DRtHtpP2H48S7iiw/joinBecome a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattleEmail: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contactWebsite: https://www.psychologyinseattle.comMerch: https://psychologyinseattle-shop.fourthwall.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychologyinseattle/Facebook Official Page: https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyInSeattle/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kirk.hondaThe Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com(By The Daily Telegraph. Copyright holders of the image of Madeleine at three are Kate and Gerry McCann. The age-progressed image was commissioned by Scotland Yard from forensic artist Teri Blythe for release to the public. Both images have been widely disseminated by the copyright holders, and have been the subject of significant commentary., Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=39861556)
Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!Why Confronting Your Spouse's Limerence Always Backfires (And What to Do Instead)If you've discovered your spouse is in an affair, your first instinct is likely to confront them, expose the truth, and demand they "wake up." But as many heartbroken spouses discover, this almost always pushes them further away. Why?In today's video, Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes and Dr. Joe Beam explain the psychological "brain takeover" known as Limerence. When a spouse is in this state, they aren't just making a bad choice—they are experiencing a chemical addiction similar to OCD.Learn why your efforts to "fix" them are failing and how to shift your strategy to actually save your marriage.
Send us a textCall it a crush, call it new relationship energy, call it infatuation. But if it becomes an addiction, then you can easily become your own drug dealer by retreating into fantasy.That's when it starts to become a very serious problem.Support the showJoin the Patreon community https://www.patreon.com/richardnicholls Social Media Links Bluesky https://bsky.app/profile/richardnicholls.net Threads https://www.threads.net/@richardnichollsreal Instagram https://www.instagram.com/richardnichollsreal Facebook https://www.facebook.com/RichardNichollsAuthor Youtube https://www.youtube.com/richardnicholls TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@richardnichollsauthor X https://x.com/richardnicholls
Heartbreak can feel like the end of everything, but it's often the beginning of healing. In this raw episode of The Sabrina Zohar Show, Sabrina shares the three biggest heartbreaks of her life and what they taught her about anxious attachment, abandonment wounds, limerence, and self-worth. From childhood trauma to toxic relationships and loss, this episode explores how heartbreak shapes our dating patterns and beliefs about love. If you're struggling with breakups or repeating unhealthy relationship cycles, this episode breaks down why heartbreak hurts so deeply and how healing actually begins. If you're ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step HERE! If you're serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE! Get Ad free HERE!Want to work with Sabrina? HERE!Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE!Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! Please support our sponsors! For a limited time get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life. Go to https://Hungryroot.com/SABRINA and use code SABRINA Head to https://AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code SABRINA to get UP TO $300 off today! AirDoctor comes with a 30-day money back guarantee, plus a 3-year warranty Give your skin a rest with clean, clinically tested skincare from OSEA. Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code SABRINA at https://OSEAMalibu.com Ready to quit for good? Go to https://quitwithjones.com/SABRINA to start your personalized quitting journey and get 15 percent off with code SABRINA ============================= Chapters 00:00 Heartbreak and Healing Journey 03:10 Childhood Trauma and Attachment 06:25 Emotional Neglect Core Wounds 09:40 How Trauma Shapes Dating Patterns 13:05 Limerence and Anxious Attachment 17:10 Toxic Relationships and Manipulation 21:45 Breakups, Grief, and No Contact 25:30 Losing Yourself in Relationships 29:00 Healing Core Beliefs and Self Worth 32:20 Choosing Emotionally Safe Love Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Limerence is an intense state of romantic preoccupation where someone takes over your thoughts and emotions. It can feel exhilarating and even spark new love. But it can also become unhealthy, especially when the feelings are unrequited, inappropriate, or tied to someone who is unavailable or toxic. In this episode, we explore when limerence becomes a problem, and how to work through it. I am joined once again by Dr. Tom Bellamy, a neuroscientist and honorary Associate Professor at the University of Nottingham. He has published over forty scientific works on neurophysiology. He runs the popular blog Living with Limerence and is author of the new book Smitten: Romantic Obsession, the Neuroscience of Limerence, and How to Make Love Last. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What keeps limerence going, and what do you need to understand before breaking the cycle? How do you shift into a recovery mindset? What practices help interrupt rumination? What should you look for in a therapist if you need help working through limerence? How does living more purposefully protect against limerence? You can check out Tom’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! With Erika Lust, you get more than porn. You get real intimacy. Real stories. Get 45% off all subscription plans at erikalust.com when you use the code JUSTIN. Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Using code JUSTIN to get 40% off your purchase. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast With Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
There's a particular kind of emotional stuckness that's hard to explain until you've lived it — the constant thinking about someone, replaying conversations, scanning for meaning in small moments, and slowly realizing that your inner world has begun to revolve around another person. That's the experience we're talking about today. In this episode, psychologist Orly Miller joins me for a thoughtful conversation about limerence vs love, and why intense longing can sometimes cross a line into something that feels more consuming than connecting. We talk about what limerence actually is, how it differs from healthy romantic attachment, and why it can be so difficult to move out of once you're in it. For anyone quietly wondering how to stop limerence, this conversation offers clarity, language, and relief without judgment. As you listen, I invite you to notice how uncertainty, hope, and emotional focus may be shaping your experience of love, and what might shift if more of that energy were returned to you, rather than staying fixed on someone else. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Loving Too Much: When Longing Becomes Painful 01:42 How Limerence Shows Up in Real Life 08:52 What Limerence Is (and What It Isn't) 11:00 Limerence vs Love: Why Healthy Love Moves Forward 17:55 The Three Ways Limerence Can Exist 20:47 Hope and Doubt: What Keeps Limerence Alive 22:34 When Limerence Becomes Unhealthy 33:06 Inside a Limerent Episode 42:52 Why Healing Isn't About the Other Person 44:54 Reclaiming Yourself and Moving Forward When patterns like these start to come into focus, it can bring relief, and also raise questions about what comes next. If this conversation stirred something for you and you'd like thoughtful support while you sort through it, I'd love to invite you to schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my Growing Self team. This is a private, secure space where you'll answer a few simple questions about what's been happening in your relationships and emotional life, and what you'd like to feel differently. From there, we'll help you get matched with the right counselor or coach so you can move forward with clarity, self-trust, and care, instead of staying stuck in patterns that no longer serve you. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month's sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com
Have you ever been unable to stop thinking about someone? They're the first thing on your mind when you wake up and the last before you fall asleep. When they text, you're ecstatic. When they don't, you feel deflated. That experience has a name: limerence. In this episode, we unpack what it is, where it comes from, and why the brain can become so powerfully attached to another person. My guest is Dr. Tom Bellamy, a neuroscientist and honorary Associate Professor at the University of Nottingham. He has published over forty scientific works on neurophysiology. He runs the popular blog Living with Limerence and is author of the new book Smitten: Romantic Obsession, the Neuroscience of Limerence, and How to Make Love Last. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How is limerence different from lust and love? What happens in the brain during limerence? Why does uncertainty fuel romantic obsession? Is modern dating making limerence more common? What emotional needs or life circumstances make someone more vulnerable to limerence? You can check out Tom’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! With Erika Lust, you get more than porn. You get real intimacy. Real stories. Get 45% off all subscription plans at erikalust.com when you use the code JUSTIN. Firmtech’s Tech Ring will help you to track your sexual health–and keep it up. Visit myfirmtech.com/justinlehmiller and use code JUSTIN15 for 15% off your purchase. Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Dr Kirk Honda continues his lecture on limerence. January 23, 2026This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.Become a member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOUZWV1DRtHtpP2H48S7iiw/joinBecome a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattleEmail: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contactWebsite: https://www.psychologyinseattle.comMerch: https://psychologyinseattle-shop.fourthwall.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychologyinseattle/Facebook Official Page: https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyInSeattle/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kirk.hondaThe Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com(By The Daily Telegraph. Copyright holders of the image of Madeleine at three are Kate and Gerry McCann. The age-progressed image was commissioned by Scotland Yard from forensic artist Teri Blythe for release to the public. Both images have been widely disseminated by the copyright holders, and have been the subject of significant commentary., Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=39861556)
Feeling obsessed with someone who isn't truly available? Discover 5 surprising ways to overcome limerence, especially for women over 50, so you can break the cycle of longing and reclaim your emotional freedom.►Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/lastfirstdateradio ►If you're feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to find your last first date, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application ►Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate ►Get Sandy's books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love https://bit.ly/womanofvaluebook , Choice Points in Dating https://amzn.to/3jTFQe9 and Love at Last https://amzn.to/4erpj7C ►Get FREE coaching on the podcast! https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching ►FREE download: “Top 10 Reasons Why Men Suddenly Pull Away” http://bit.ly/whymendisappear ►Group Coaching: https://lastfirstdate.com/the-woman-of-value-club/ ►Website → https://lastfirstdate.com/ ► Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/lastfirstdate1/ ►Get Amazon Music Unlimited FREE for 30 days at https://getamazonmusic.com/lastfirstdate
What does “going with the flow” actually mean in dating, and why does it so often lead to situationships, resentment, and self-abandonment? In the final episode of the Clarity Series, Sabrina breaks down how passivity, fear of asking for more, and chasing chemistry over availability keep people stuck in almost-relationships. This episode explores the psychological and nervous system reasons we suppress our needs, tolerate ambiguity, and confuse flexibility with emotional safety. You'll learn the difference between dating with intention versus dating from control or fear, how to identify your real non-negotiables, why situationships persist, and what it actually looks like to stop auditioning for love and start choosing yourself. If you're tired of waiting to be chosen, afraid of being “too much,” or stuck in cycles of undefined connections, this episode gives you the framework to leave self-abandonment behind and date with clarity, confidence, and self-trust. If you're ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step HERE! Get Ad free HERE!Want to work with Sabrina? HERE!Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE!Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! Please support our sponsors! Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code SABRINA to get UP TO $300 off today! AirDoctor comes with a 30-day money back guarantee, plus a 3-year warranty Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag with your first order at MeritBeauty.com Get started with Stich Fix today at stitchfix.com/sabrina to get $20 off your first order—and they'll waive your styling fee. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code SABRINA at https://www.oneskin.co/SABRINA #oneskinpod ============================= Chapters 00:00 – Why “Going With the Flow” Is Quiet Self-Abandonment 03:20 – The Clarity Series Recap: From Rumination to Intention 06:40 – Why We Suppress Our Needs to Avoid Being Left 10:05 – Situationships: How Ambiguity Keeps You Stuck 14:45 – Chemistry vs Availability (And Why We Choose Wrong) 18:55 – Intention vs Control in Dating 23:30 – Non-Negotiables: What You Actually Walk Away Over 27:10 – Limerence, Fantasy Relationships, and Dopamine Loops 31:45 – What to Leave Behind and What to Bring Into 2026 35:10 – Tool of the Week: Dating With Real Intention Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Dr Kirk Honda provides his long-awaited lecture on limerence. December 16, 2025This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.Become a member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOUZWV1DRtHtpP2H48S7iiw/joinBecome a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattleEmail: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contactWebsite: https://www.psychologyinseattle.comMerch: https://psychologyinseattle-shop.fourthwall.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychologyinseattle/Facebook Official Page: https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyInSeattle/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kirk.hondaThe Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com
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