The Bright Side with Kevin & Jason

Reading can be dangerous, what with all those evil forces out there trying to stymie the free transmission of liberating ideas. And now we have to worry about cholera?! This week, the guys turn the page to when the fear of these new things called germs caused people to think that library books could spread disease. Given that this episode is dropping on Thanksgiving, Kevin and Jason would also like to take a moment to thank you for listening, to this and all of our episodes. We appreciate you and love you, and we'd be nothing without you. Gobble Gobble!  

Women didn't fare so well in last week's episode. To balance the scales a little bit, this week the guys take a deep dive into the life of Dr. Rosalind Franklin, the badass woman of science whose work directly led to the understanding of the structure of DNA, among many other achievements. In a time when women in STEM were subjected to vast sexism and condescension, Dr. Franklin brashly broke the mold in the search for scientific truths.

No, that's not a new title for the show! It is, however, a pretty good description of the people featured in this week's episode! Come get high with the guys as they expel gas and yank your chain with the tale of the Leicester Balloon Riot of 1864.

Norway, Jose! This week, the guys lube up their absolutely worst accents to take you, our loyal listener, to a magical place of fjords, riverboat cruises, wooden shoes (?) and the great Norwegian Butter Crisis of 2011.

What would life be without the ability to look down on other people? This week, the guys look down from a great height, high enough to see the curve of the earth, in order to delve into the Flat Earth Movement. We promise, it's just as dumb as you've come to expect from us.

Are you blue? Now, is it just a feeling, or are you literally blue? This week, they guys set off into the wild blue yonder to learn about the Blue Fugates of Kentucky, a clan of people with a rare genetic condition that turned their skin blue for generations. If you're not tired of hearing the word "blue" yet, stay tuned!

Pennsylvania is not really known for being the focal point for intense tragedies, but maybe we should reconsider that reputation. This week, the guys revisit the home of the Centralia Fire (featured on the show all the way back on Episode 9) to stare into the murky depths of the 1948 Death Fog of Donora, PA. Maybe try not to breathe too deep as you listen, just to be safe.

Exams aren't the only things you can cram for. This week, the guys get into the stuff of legends as they spelunk into the weird, brief fad of shoving as many college students into a phone booth as possible. Though the fad only went for about a year in the 50s, the memories will last a lifetime for those confused college boys.

Romancelandia, the fellowship of romance authors and their readers, is a famously supportive and tight community. Until it isn't. This week, the guys plunge into the #CockyGate scandal, wherein romance author Faleena Hopkins tried, rather cockily, to prevent other authors from placing a commonly-used word into any title of any published work, anywhere, anytime. As you might suspect, things didn't go great for her.

Here at the Bright Side, we've always assumed that our listeners were just very special people. But this week, we explore the possibility that you all are actually genius reincarnations of an extinct Martian race, sent to us to warn of the dangers of nuclear war. Either way, thanks for the support!

In the latest episode of our Feral Animals Series, the guys say Aloha to the feral chickens of Kauai! In a rollicking adventure that spans the globe, we join these brave, seafaring chickens in their epic quest to find love, freedom, and someplace to gobble up the crumbs of tourists' lunches.

In honor of the Olympics, this week the guys tumble dishonorably into the exact opposite of them--namely, really stupid sports from around the globe. Warning: this episode may cause a case of the "Twisties," and you may want to take some time off afterwards for your mental health. We respect that decision.

Disneyland. The Happiest Place on Earth. Unless you're a rat who can't cook. This week, the guys go searching for the fabled Feral Cats of Disneyland, the storied rat-catchers that stalk the Magic Kingdom at night, yet are hardly ever seen during the day. Do they really exist? You'll have to listen to the episode to find out! Actually, you won't. They do. They exist. But still listen, please.

Ah, it's a lovely day in Central Park in 1901. Take a stroll, ride the carousel, escape the heat in a shaded rocking chair. Now pay that gray-suited goon a nickel, or Mr. Spate will have you arrested for theft! Wait, what? This week, the guys uncover the unhinged story of the Rocking Chair Riots, wherein the little guy stood up for his right to sit down!

Rain blobs keep falling on my head, And sadly, that means my eyes will soon be turning red, And they'll start to bleed, 'Cuz, these blobs are jellyfish or possibly aliens, Or space jelly. And they're worrying me!  

No, we already did an episode on the Fyre Festival. This is different. This week, the guys dig up the truth about the cicada horde that lies in wait, only to emerge from the ground every 17 years, impossibly horny and improbably loud. Along the way, they learn that there's almost nothing that a month-long orgy can't cure. Plus recipes!

It should be no surprise that the marketer and inventor behind Sea Monkeys was a charming, whimsical rake. What should surprise you, however, is that he was also a fucking Nazi and weapons manufacturer. Yes, this week the guys dredge up the history of Harold von Braunhut, the huckster and con artist behind such innovations as the Invisible Fish and X-Ray Spex. None of it was real, none of it was true, but we'll be damned if it didn't make him a millionaire.

Say what you want about the Catholic Church, but at least they never exhumed a dead pope just to put him on trial. Wait, oops, nope, they totally did. Ok, just say what you want, then.

Everyone wants to win the lottery, but nobody thinks that the moment could curse their lives forever. Well, it could. In a classic "Be Careful What You Wish For" story, the guys this week scratch off the surface of the Curse of the Lottery Winner. Apologies for this week's sub-par audio. It's all Kevin's fault and he'll fix it for the next episode!

It was a dark time for America. A time when our future was uncertain, and a great war was threatening the very foundation of our nation. A war which pitted brother against brother, which separated the men from the other men (because women aren't dumb enough to engage in this). From our privileged vantage point now, it's hard to remember how close we came to annihilation, but we offer this requiem so that none may ever forget. This week, Kevin and Jason present: the War over Truck Nuts.

Avocado toast isn't the first hipster craze in the City By The Bay, oh no! This week, Kevin and Jason whip up the scrambled story of the Egg War of 1863, wherein a boatload of mercenary Florentines made a hash of a completely avoidable egg shortage in young San Francisco. Omelet the guys take it from here.

This week, the guys fondly remember the brief time in the 80s when Pepsi was the sixth-largest military power in the world. Don't worry, you read that correctly. Hear the wild tale as you enjoy this week's episode. Maybe sit back and crack open a bottle of the most delicious soda, Coke.

It's our 100th episode! It's our 100th episode! It's our 100th episode! It's our 100th episode! It's our 100th episode! It's our 100th episode! It's our 100th episode! It's our 100th episode! It's our 100th episode! Now, here's a story about gnomes.

Ah, Florida, you've done it again. America's marshy haven for the socially-impaired has long had a reputation for producing weirdos with a penchant for headline-grabbing eccentricity, but Kevin and Jason simply had to know: what is the origin of Florida Man? Well, we found him, and his name is Carl Tansler. The OG Florida creep, this fake Count and quack doctor kept a corpse bride in his home for over seven years in the name of "True Love." Trigger warning: probably just don't listen to this one.

Space may be the final frontier, but try telling that to a bunch of people who are about to die. This week, the guys plunge into the story of the ill-fated Pan Am Flight 121, which crashed in the Syrian desert in 1947. Among the crew was a young Gene Roddenberry, who boldly went into the burning wreckage to save what passengers he could, proving himself to be a hero and a leader years before he would go on to create the universe of Star Trek. Please remain buckled for the remainder of the episode.

The citizens of Great Britain are known for a great many contributions to world culture--their delicious cuisine, their penchant for colonization, and of course, being total sexual freaks. This week, the guys take it outside to explore the very British tradition of "dogging," the performance of public sex. Anglophiles be warned: this episode may give you a whole new image when you think of bangers and mash!

"I'm so baked." Usually, that's the ideal statement before attempting to listen to an episode of The Bright Side. This week, however, it could just as well have been said by our subjects, the brave women and men who get stuffed into cakes and pies, only to thrill some retiree who's just one sexual harassment suit away from the full Harvey Weinstein treatment. The guys whip up the perfect confection for you, a yummy treat made of everything naughty and nice, and pair it with a little knight music, for your listening pleasure.

Remember the good old days, when the worst thing that Pepsi did was set Michael Jackson's hair on fire? If you're nostalgic for that, well, two things. First, you have a problem. Second, dig in, because this week the guys are travelling back to the Philippines of 1992 to blow open the case of Pepsi's disastrous bottlecap promotion, wherein they accidentally committed themselves to awarding over 32 billion dollars on a budget of 2 million. Oopsie!

These days, it's hard not to feel like the sky is falling all the time. What if it really did, though? This week, the guys plunge into the story of SkyLab, the world's first successful space station. Representing the pinnacle of scientific advancement at the time, SkyLab was the precursor to the International Space Station and the crowning jewel in the US space mission. That is, until it crashed to earth in a fiery ball of terror in 1979.

Pets, amirite? We love them, we need them, we can't get enough of them. But what happens when our emotional well-being is too dependent on those little cuties? Find out this week, as the guys join the SPCA(P), the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Airline Passengers, and take to the skies with some of the most outlandish Emotional Support Animals ever encountered!

Attend the tale of this wienie clod, Whose legs were short and proclivities odd. He snipped the tresses of sleeping women, Who never thereafter were stylish again. He trod a path that none should trod, This wienie clod, The Phantom Barber of Creep...Street.

A baseball game. A ballpark hotdog. Needlessly uprooting a native population in the name of Manifest Destiny. America. This week, the guys excavate the seedy history of the Battle of Chavez Ravine and how Dodger Stadium came to be located where it is. Caution: you may want a refund on those season tickets after you hear this one.

Pardon our dust! Due to technical issues, the guys won't be blessing your ears with a full episode this week. Please enjoy this Bright Spot in its place, and have a wonderful week!

If the past four years have taught us nothing else, it has taught us the dangers of entertaining conspiracies "just for fun." Kevin and Jason didn't get the memo, though, because that's just what this week's episode is about! This week, the guys head off to the mythical land of Wyoming, only to end up naked and Canadian. What happens in between? Only reddit knows.

Marriage is a glorious institution, but everyone needs a little Me Time now and then. But what happens when a getaway weekend requires a getaway car? This week, the guys walk down the aisle toward the altar of marital bliss, only to be jilted by the tale of Lawrence Ripple, the Kansas man who robbed a bank to escape living with his wife. Curl up with your SO and be grateful for them as you hear this wild story about a man trying to exchange one institution for another.

Who hasn't gazed at a rainbow, following its graceful arc to the horizon, dreaming of reaching its storied end, on the promise of finding...Mobile Alabama? This week, the guys trample on not just American history, but Irish oral tradition too, as they set off in search of the truth of the Crichton Leprechaun story. Will they find the pot of gold? Or just a pile of shit? We think you already know.

They aren't from here. But they came, and now it seems like they've taken over the whole place! They use up all the resources, trample on the existing cultures, then move on to the next unsuspecting unfortunates. We know you think we're talking about Americans, but no! This week, the guys manifest a destiny wherein they learn about the hidden lives of invasive species, those hearty, adaptive creatures that looked so cute in the store, but now they just ate the dog.

Hey, sweetie. We've had a good run, but it's not working out. It's not you, it's us. We want nothing but for you to be happy, so we have to let you be free. Free to live your life. Free to listen to other podcasts. Kidding! We'll never leave you, though this week the guys are looking into the scary, painful world of the breakup. This episode is for anyone who has ever broken up with someone, or for any country that's breaking up with its President.

The clinical term for the fear of clowns is coulrophobia, but the rest of us know it as common sense. This week, the guys explore the (numerous!) clown panics of American history, often as a result of mass cultural anxiety. Of course, there's nothing like a televised attempted coup to ratchet up the cultural anxiety level. So if the giant orange clown in charge of the government isn't enough for you, who knows? Expect to see more?

Water, water everywhere, and what a spot to sink! This week, the guys probe the murky depths of The Michigan Triangle, a mysterious section of Lake Michigan which seems to swallow ships and planes much like its better-known cousin near Bermuda. Along the way, they find--well, not much. That's kinda the nature of mysterious sections of lakes which swallow ships and planes. If you were hoping for a more cheery start to 2021, I don't know, buddy. Sorry.

Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good riddance to 2020! Our gift to you, in true 2020 fashion, is this rehashed episode from Christmas 2018. Please enjoy it and feel free to give it away to friends and loved ones, or just Carl, that creepy guy at work who just got creepier over Zoom.

The long, long lockdown months have now officially lasted all year, making us wonder just what pre-pandemic life even was. But the incredible news this week of the approval of two different vaccines has given us all hope, and turned our minds to what will come after. That's why, this week, the guys are taking a penetrating look into the history of the orgy, to prepare you for the bacchanalia that will inevitably follow the end of COVID. If you don't have time to listen this week, here's the gist: fucking. Just a lot of fucking.

The more one studies history, the more one discovers that absolutely everything has been done. Including, but not limited to, an Oregon town collectively deciding to detonate a beached whale. It goes exactly as well as you might think.

Every once in a while, a topic arrives on the Bright Side that makes one wonder, "How have they not done this episode yet?" This week is one of those times, as the guys explore some of the worst customer service experiences ever endured. Please press 1 to continue in English.

Thanksgiving is a time for gratitude, fellowship, and, if you're Kevin and Jason, exploring all the ways Thanksgiving can kill you.

This one is for all the lovers. Well, the criminally sick ones, anyway, which we're assuming make up the majority of our listeners. In 1991, Ray and Faye Copeland became the oldest couple ever to be sentenced to death in the United States, having been convicted of murdering at least 5 men at their Missouri farm. If you're looking for a love story to keep you warm as winter approaches, go turn on the Hallmark Channel. If you want a grisly account of a serial-killer couple, stay tuned.

Cleanliness is next to godliness. Especially if your dismembered remains are found in a carwash. This week, the guys give the undercarriage of life a once-over, exploring the time, all too recently, that half of a man's face was discovered on the floor of a Montana carwash. You know, so you can escape the gory details of current events.

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It's Halloween! The one day when it's perfectly acceptable to take candy from strangers! This year, Halloween will of course be a more sedate affair, since we can all agree that 2020 itself has been scarier than anything October alone can throw at us. Nonetheless, the guys are celebrating the holiday by exploring the spooky, kooky history of the grand tradition of haunted houses. Make sure all the lights are off for this one, and don't ever, ever listen alone.

You've all been such great listeners, that today we are rewarding you with everyone's favorite activity--a pizza party! Come on a drive-along as the guys explore the frenzied, unsurprisingly sexy, and surprisingly dangerous world of pizza delivery. This week's episode is everything a great pizza should be: hot, fresh, steamy, and cheesy! Enjoy it right when it arrives, or later, because cold podcast is still good podcast!

Last week, the guys visited with some of the world's stupidest criminals; this week, they'll teach you how to become one! Of course, to be a stupid criminal, first you need a stupid law to break. That's why this week's episode is a deep dive into some of the weirdest laws still on the books, from how to properly handle a frog who died in a jumping contest, to exactly how much toilet paper you need to have on hand to operate a coal mine. Please enjoy responsibly.