This Isn’t Therapy

This Isn't Therapy...this is a flirty fab *encore* conversation about loneliness versus being alone. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon explore feelings around how we can feel lonely even though we're surrounded by people we love. Also, how being alone does not always mean you are lonely. P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question to Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy...it's the ENCORE to our episode about emotions and emotionality. Am I overacting? Under-reacting? In this conversation, Jake and Simon chat about the normal, human, everyday emotions that show up in our lives. How do we know if our reactions are within a healthy range? They use the Window of Tolerance model to discuss big and small emotions, how to widen our windows, and what to do when emotions don't seem to match the situation in front of us.Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us:: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's a discussion about the mind-body connection~ wooOOoO!! Nah, in all seriousness, Jake and Simon unpack some interesting data about the gut and how it's being considered a second brain for its ability to drive instinct, help us refocus, and hone in on what really matters. In this episode, we discuss through some final lovely listener submissions and hear what y'all are thinking about as it pertains to this important, and often overlooked, piece of the mental health puzzle!P.S. This is our final episode of the season. Stay tuned for epic encore replays all summer long and keep your eyes peeled for an announcement about our next season in Fall 2025!Got an episode idea? Or maybe even a quandary, query, or question? Submit your thoughts (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about emotions! In this episode, Jake and Simon respond to a listener question... so what are emotions, anyway? They break down the core emotions and how to distinguish emotions from feelings, thoughts, and moods. This episode is def for you if you've ever wondered how to control your emotions (or can you?) and what to do when the social emotions like guilt, shame, jealousy, pride, and indignation come into the mix. Come on in... emotions don't have to be scary! ;)Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's a juicy convo about what it takes to become self-led. In this episode, we talk about self-leadership and how to build a sturdy and reliable self-esteem that doesn't dissolve under the sometimes-crushing weight of criticism, negative feedback, shame and self-doubt. This is an active episode so grab your pens and notebooks. Jake walks the lovely listeners through a four-part journalling exercise, rooted in four reflective questions, to help you create authentic self-leadership.Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's an episode about seeking validation (online). Are we becoming obsessed with our quest for constant reassurance, approval, and external validation? In this episode, Jake and Simon explore the sugar high that comes with too much external affirmation and how this weird, wacky, online world is eroding our sense of self. But is it vain to want a compliment? How can I become a more secure and confident person? Is it bad to want to look to others for approval? Or is that... survival? All this and more on this week's juicy, juicy episode!Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...VOX Article: Validate Me, Please! by Allie VolpeCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Validate us by...Following us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Following us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about the pressure to be happy. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how to feel authentically happy when there's a lot of pressure to perform positivity or force happy feelings. Jake and Simon hear from two Lovely Listeners who wonder about the true meaning of happiness and how to spot the difference between authentic joy versus fake happiness. In a culture that might encourage us to "just think positive!" we're asking "...should we?"

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about parasocial relationships; the one-sided emotional connections we have with casual acquaintances, people we "know" online, characters we watch in television and movies, and people we admire from afar. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about some examples from pop culture, such as Chappell Roan's desire to set boundaries as a celebrity and Sabrina Carpenter's previous relationship. In addition, they pull examples from two articles to answer one curious question: Have we reached Peak Parasocial?Article 1: In a Celebrity-Obsessed World, Have We Reached Peak Parasocial? By Anna CafollaArticle 2: What are parasocial relationships doing to our brains? By Allegra RosenbergGot a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi!Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about the four F's: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss the four threat responses and how to move through tough situations and face what's in front of us. This episode is for anyone who feels trapped by their reactions or is left feeling overwhelmed by stressful situations. These responses are what make us human; it is better to embrace them and face them rather than become ruled by them.Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi!Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's a long overdue convo about the two most essential skills in relationships. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss a statistic about emotional availability: on average, we are only emotionally available for our partners about 9% of the time. With that in mind, they discuss how to get closer to the 9% using the two essential skills of attunement and repair. Throughout the episode, they discuss how to implement these skills through the development of micro-skills. Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi!Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's a conversation about mental health stigma and how we may have lost the plot in our attempts to de-stigmatize mental health. In this episode, we unpack Raquel Hopkins' viral videos about mental health language, turning mental health labels into identities, and expanding our resilience and personal capacity to tolerate difficult life circumstances. Jake and Simon discuss her idea that the over-reliance on mental health tools may be making us "weaker" and how to build a real, stronger capacity to handle what comes our way versus just managing mental health symptoms.Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi!Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This isn't therapy… it's part three in our series about the war on human connection. In this episode, we talk about how overwhelming people with tragic and distressing information about the world leads to a decline in empathy. Jake and Simon discuss how a decline in rates of empathy affect our ability to practice perspective taking and experience empathic concern.Article: Empathy Is Dying And So Are We by Rita JabbourGot a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi!Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's a follow up to last week's episode about the attention wars. In this episode, we explore the concept of "agree to disagree" and how there seems to be a war of opinions playing out in our culture. Is it really possible to find common ground when opinions clash? We discuss strategies for navigating disagreements and the key differences between opinion-based and values-based conflicts. Can we respectfully acknowledge opposing views, or does disagreement signal a deeper divide?Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi!Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's a frank discussion about the "attention economy"—where companies compete to capture our focus to sell us products. We break down the difference between attention, focus, and concentration, and examine how the constant battle for our attention impacts our mental health, productivity, and relationships. We discuss the hidden costs of a world where attention is monetized, and how we can reclaim control in this distraction-driven landscape.Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi!Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This isn't therapy... it's a deeper dive into the topic of loneliness. Through stories submitted by the Loveliest Listeners, Jake and Simon discuss the crisis of loneliness and how to differentiate between feelings of loneliness and being alone. They also talk about the number one protective factor to combat loneliness and share their own reflections about how modern lifestyles shape our experiences of aloneness and loneliness.Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Validate us by...Following us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Following us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This isn't therapy... and it's not working out, either! In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss what to do when therapy isn't working. Importantly, they talk about how to know if therapy is actually working and what to do when you feel like it's not. This episode is based on a Lovely Listener question: "If I cry in therapy, does that mean it's working?" Strap in!Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Validate us by...Following us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Following us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's an episode about seeking validation (online). Are we becoming obsessed with our quest for constant reassurance, approval, and external validation? Piggy backing off last week's episode on narcism, Jake and Simon explore the sugar high that comes with too much external affirmation and how this weird, wacky, online world is eroding our sense of self. But is it vain to want a compliment? How can I become a more secure and confident person? Is it bad to want to look to others for approval? Or is that...survival? All this and more on this week's juicy, juicy episode!Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...VOX Article: Validate Me, Please! by Allie VolpeCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Validate us by... Following us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Following us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's the long-overdue episode about narcissism. In this episode, we break down what narcissism really is, how it differs from strong self-esteem and healthy narcissism, and why the term is being overused in today's culture. While true narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a serious condition, many of us display narcissistic traits from time to time—so where do we draw the line? We also explore the consequences of labeling people as narcissists too quickly, how this impacts relationships, and what we might actually be struggling with when we feel hurt by someone's behaviour.Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's a deep dive into the world of “chameleon kids” — children who adapt their personalities, emotions, and behaviours to fit their surroundings and meet the unspoken needs of others. These kids are often labeled as “the good child,” “the helper,” or “the rule-follower,” but beneath the surface lies a complex mix of empathy, self-monitoring, and an innate drive to keep the peace. We'll explore why chameleon kids shape-shift to gain approval, maintain harmony, and avoid adding stress to their families. We'll also uncover how these early habits often carry into adulthood, leading to challenges with boundaries, self-expression, and people-pleasing.Article: Pay Attention To The Chameleon Kids by Jake ErnstGot a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's a frank convo about the ever-changing language we use to describe our relationships. From loud looking to kiss-mets, the way we're seeking and obtaining connections continues to change alongside changes in technology and culture. This week, we discuss how nanoships, or in other words bite-sized relational moments, may be impacting our ability to connect with each other more deeply. We look to a report from Tinder (lol) to dissect how companies incentivize the use of their dating apps, potentially keeping us locked in cycles of social and emotional disconnection. Some are calling it microconnection and we have some thoughts about that. Article 1: Is Microconnecting The Next Big Dating Trend? By Dr. Bruce LeeArticle 2: Tinder's Year In Swipe 2024 Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... juicy convo about the power of regret. In a culture that would prefer us to "get over it" and "forget it" altogether, we unpack the ways that regret and remorse play out across the lifespan. Through listener story submissions, we discuss when its best to regret and when it's better to release. This conversation is for those who play the "Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda" game and hang on to prior mistakes, previous wrongdoings, or hold on to the life they could have had if things played out differently.Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's a thought-provoking episode about the growing influence of artificial intelligence in our personal lives. We ask the big question: Can AI truly replace human relationships? From AI companions and virtual therapists to chatbots that promise emotional support, technology is reshaping the way we connect. But what happens when machines become more accessible, predictable, and even more “reliable” than people?Are we building a world where technology enhances relationships—or one where it erodes the need for them altogether? Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about one of the things that robs kids of a care-free childhood: being parentified. When kids are forced to grow up too soon and become adults in childhood, kids can take on adult-like responsibilities and burdens. In this episode, we talk about the difference between healthy responsibility for kids and parentification and talk about the impact of having childhood stolen from us and being burdened before we're developmentally ready.Article: Were you a ‘parentified child'? What happens when children have to behave like adults By Nivida ChandraCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's a juicy convo about what it takes to become self-led. In this episode, we talk about self-leadership and how to build a sturdy and reliable self-esteem that doesn't dissolve under the sometimes-crushing weight of criticism, negative feedback, shame and self-doubt. This is an active episode so grab your pens and notebooks. Jake walks the lovely listeners through a four-part journalling exercise, rooted in four reflective questions, to help you create authentic self-leadership.Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy... it's our first episode BACKKKK! This week, we're talking about why finding hope can often feel so hopeless in hopeless in times. We peel back the curtain on an article from The New Yorker called "Do you have hope?" which looks at the ways hope can live alongside despair, pain, and grief. We discuss what hope is, how hope can be active or passive, and how to use active forms of hope as a way of coping with challenging times and taking effective action on your goals. Article: Do you have hope? By Joshua RothmanCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonOriginal music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* performance of our original spin on the famed holiday classic!! This Isn't Therapy presents: How the Grinch Stole Therapy. Every Who down in Whoville liked wellness a lot...but the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville, did NOT. The Grinch hated wellness! The whole "therapy speak." Now, please don't ask why, the reason is bleak...Enjoy this fun, flirty, fabulous episode narrated (and written AND performed) by Jake Ernst and Simon Paluck. To all our lovely listeners, thank you for joining us this year. We wish you all a restful holiday season, and we look forward to bringing you more silly seriousness in the new year! xoxDon't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy...but this is an *encore* performance of our original spin on the famed holiday classic!! This Isn't Therapy presents: 'Twas the Night Before Therapy. On the eve of her first therapy session, Molly is grappling with all her worries and woes when suddenly she's visited by two magical guests from her ~favourite~ podcast. Enjoy this fun, flirty, fabulous BONUS episode narrated (& performed) by Jake and Simon. To all our lovely listeners, thank you for being here, we wish you a restful holidays, and cheers to all the adventures to come!! xoxJoin us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* conversation about being chronically online. In segment one, Jake and Simon talk about Brené Brown's recent splash back into social media (welcome back BB!) and read an excerpt from her tear-jerking blog post where she talks about taking time away from the internet. In segment two, Jake and Simon chat about the pros and cons of being constantly online and what Jake is #noticing in the therapy room.Articles:"Hard Seasons and Wild Hearts" by Brené Brown"Living Life As Avatars of Ourselves" by Jake Ernst"The Cost of Being Chronically Online" by Jake ErnstDon't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This isn't therapy… it's an *encore* conversation about when the past is present in the therapy room. In this episode, Jake and Simon explore two therapy terms, transference and countertransference, to open up a conversation about what happens when clients own history is transferred onto a therapist and what happens when a therapist's own history is transferred onto a client. It's a conversation you don't want to miss! Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* fun, flirty convo about adapting to scenarios while keeping your values in check (*DING*). On this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon discuss two lovely listener stories, safe spaces, the embarrassing Ontario Catholic school board's decision to ~not~ fly a pride flag, and our new queer icon, Tina the Troll. Also, stay tuned to the end of the ep because we may or may not have a favour to ask! HAPPY PRIDE!!!

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* episode about thinking, over-thinking, and sorting through seas of misinformation online. In segment one, Jake and Simon discuss findings from a small study by PlushCare which looked at videos on TikTok and misleading mental health information. In segment two, they discuss how collecting and consuming mental health information online isn't the same as applying it. Jake also shares an actionable script to help the Lovely Listeners find action when stuck in cycles of overthinking. CHUNK IT AND DO IT!!!Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* conversation about people pleasing. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon explore the root of people pleasing - where the behaviour stems from and how it comes to be. How do I stop people pleasing??? Get ready to laugh/cry/uncover the phenomenon known as the chameleon child. "Trying to make life fair for people around you doesn't make up for the unfairness of your childhood." Woof.Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy...this is a (part 2) fun, flirty, fabulous convo about our needs! If you haven't listened to part one yet, what are you doing?! Go listen and then come back, Wendy!! In this episode, Jake and Simon expand on our types of needs and introduce us to our core relational needs of safety, belonging and mattering (the tandem needs!) and then discuss the difference between Mimetic Desire and Mimetic Rivalries. How do we know if our needs are being met? This is a must-listen episode!Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy...this is a (part 1) conversation about our needs - what are they? Why is everyone talking about them? And how do you know if your needs are being met? What follows is a funny and fabulous convo about Primal, Survival, and Growth needs (oh my!) This episode is essential for anyone out there wondering: what are my needs?!Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's the pinocchio-inspired epi about lying to your therapist. In this episode, Jake and Simon use a case scenario as a study about lies, fibs, and fairytales in the therapy room. They talk about what may lie beneath our lies (hehe) and can what happen when a therapist may suspect a lie is being told.P.S. The notes we were singing are Bb and A! ;)Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* conversation about becoming an emotional adult. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the mirage of adulthood and the search for the "real adults". They dive into an article by Kathryn Jezer-Morton for The Cut called Does anyone feel like an actual adult?This one's for all the adults who feel like they're wearing a grown up costume or cosplaying as an adult.Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* episode about dealing with emotionally immature people. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about spotting the signs of an emotionally immature adult and how emotional immaturity in parents can impact the children they're raising. We're returning to a beloved format in this epi-- lovely listener submissions + expert-level quotes = one juicy convo! ‎

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* doomy episode about the ever-evolving landscape of doomslang. Doomslang, coined by author and linguist Amanda Montell, is a term used to describe dystopian jargon like “dumpster fire” and “doomscroll” and “bed rot”. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how the constant conjuring of End Times is having surprising, unintended, and maybe even dangerous, consequences. From bed rot to brainrot, this episode sure packs a doomsday punch! Oh... and be sure to tune in this week for a very imporant Summertime announcement!P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question for our end segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* deep dive into self-improvement influencers and the impact they're having on men: "how to be more alpha by yelling at the ocean!! How to get a six pack by eating a pound of raw liver a day!! Why being sad is a state of mind so go chew on a football!!!! Oh no!! Don't fret though, Simon and Jake keep it flirty and fun as they discuss the online obsession with fitness, mindset, and self-optimization. Are we undoing the progress we've made to reduce mental health stigma?!Sources:- Beware Lifestyle Fascismby Maya Vinokour-Why the politics of young men and women are drifting further and further apartby Nimo Omer for The GuardianP.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* convo about makin' new friends, Mary! In this week's episode, Jake and Simon talk about our social health and what's getting in the way of making new friends and forging new social connections. They also discuss if it's good or bad to connect with people really fast and tackle a listener question about building a new circle of friends. *NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* episode about being broken up with by a therapist. In this episode, Jake and Simon read two stories, one submitted to the Reddit r/AskATherapist community and one submitted by a Lovely Listener! Jake and Simon break down some of the reasons why therapists may also break up with a client. It's a juicy one!P.S. The debate about hand washing has been settled! Go check out our Instagram for the results.P.S.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This isn't therapy, baby, it's a conversation about dating and modern relationship expectations. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about hook up culture and the current dating landscape for singles, one where dating apps (and one company in particular!) set the tone for our future with one another. They talk about "situationships" and how to spot the characteristics of a situationship-- a casual, undefined, commitment-free relationship.Article referenced: What is a situationship? By Sanjana GuptaCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's a conversation about problem spotting, hot take culture, the loss of expertise, and the pressure to have an opinion about everything. Get ready for some hot takes about hot takes! In this episode, Jake and Simon unpack an article written by Jake called You Don't Have To Be The Fixer. Let's get into it, Mary!A quote from the article: “You do not need to fix every problem you notice. You do not need to sign up for more problems to solve. Sometimes it is better to let problems be problems rather than answer our urge to solve them.”Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's the long-time-coming conversation about personality differences and mental health! In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about The Big Five personality types - Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism (recently re-termed Emotional Stability). They talk about the difference between personality traits and a mental health issue (they oftne get confused!!) through the unpacking of two well-known personality typologies: Introverts and Extroverts. Hold on to your hat, Wendy, because we're setting sail on a magical journey into personality! Is shyness a personality trait or a mental health problem? Tune in to find out! :oBook discussed: "Quiet" by Susan CainP.S - Got an idea for an episode? A story to submit? Reach out: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about the best friends forever myth. There is so much pressure to find your other half, your #squad, someone to share that BFF bracelet with. But what happens when you don't have a BFF? Do "best friends" even exist? On this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon chat through an article in the Standard (source below) and discuss what happens when you get hung up on the perfect all-in-one friend. Then, in our newest/shiniest/sexiest final segment, Asking For a Friend, a #lovelylistener queries about irrational fears. Article: Best Friends Forever? It's a Myth by Claire Cohen.NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This isn't therapy... it's some straight up real talk about depictions of therapy in popular media. Simon and Jake talk about the emerging media genre of fly-on-the-wall therapy. From explosive couples' dramas on TV to podcasts with recorded therapy sessions, fly-on-the-wall therapy is pulling in huge audiences. But is it ethical? Is it exploitation? Is it just unhealthy voyeurism? In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about what happens when therapy sessions become public and streamed to the masses.Article: ‘It was actually beautiful': the wild rise in people turning their therapy sessions into devastating TV by Eleanor MorganCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon 

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* critical look at the argument that children need less therapy, not more, and how this "mental heath culture" is stripping parents of autonomy, ultimately causing more harm than good. In this episode, Jake and Simon dive into a review (written by Anna Nordberg for Slate) for a book by a right-leaning conspiracy theorist titled Bad Therapy. "In Bad Therapy, Shrier [the book's author] ladles heavy helpings of anecdote over some scientific research to argue that therapists, school counselors, and the language of therapy that has influenced parenting in the past decade or so are, in her view, harming kids." So, what really is harming the kids? Is it therapy or maybe, just maybe, it's something else...Source: Who's Making The Kids Cry by Anna Nordberg for SlateP.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy… it's an *encore* discussion about “phubbing”— the act of snubbing someone with your phone. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about phone use and how it impacts our relationships with friends, family members, and partners. They also talk about a recent study, which found that higher phone use was associated with more relationship problems, and an article by a therapist, called “As A Therapist, I Know What's Breaking Couples Up.” Hint hint, it's allegedly the smartphone.

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* episode about the pursuit of endless bliss. Many people arrive to therapy with a "fantasy goal" thinking they want to be calm, happy, and relaxed all the time. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon talk about how to find a realistic sense of joy, happiness, purpose, and pleasure and what we can (or should) expect from life. This episode is for those wondering why the pursuit of endless bliss doesn't produce the feelings (and lasting results) they promise.Read more: The Pursuit of Endless Bliss by Jake Ernst.Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... this is an *encore* conversation about becoming the stand-in parent for the people around you. Are you the one always making the plans? Do find yourself saying "don't forget to..." a lot? When did you sign up to coach the people around you into "becoming the better version of themselves"? Oh, mama. Let's talk. Take out your finest quill and parchment because we're chatting through mother hen syndrome and how being the thinking brain/emotional caretaker for others leads to relationship burnout. We'll also talk about the origins of these caring behaviours and discuss the difference between genuine caring and chronic caretaking. Also, we meet Gary and Bella -- did Gary ever find his sunnies?Article: Why 'Raising' Your Partner Leads to Relationship Burnout. by Yvonne CastañedaP.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* episode about some hard truths learned in therapy. Ever wonder how to give your therapist some feedback?! Or even how would my therapist react if I gave them some feedback?! Through a story posted by an anonymous reddit user, Jake and Simon examine a therapists' struggle after they received some challenging feedback from a client. Then, through some lovely listener submissions, we flip the script and explore some hard truths some folks have taken away from their therapists. Grab a bib coz baby this episode is juicy!!!!!P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck