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Ordinary Sherpa: Family Adventure Coaching and Design
127 | Adventures in Entrepreneurship with Brad Barrett from Choose FI

Ordinary Sherpa: Family Adventure Coaching and Design

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 5, 2023 55:53


After years in public accounting as a CPA, Brad reached financial independence at the age of 35 through diligent savings and investing. Brad Is passionate about everything from saving money, to living a more healthy lifestyle, to ‘boring' things like tracking your finances and cutting down on your tax bill. But his favorite topic is leveraging credit card rewards to save more money, and take trips you never would have dreamed possible for pennies on the dollar.Co-Founders and Co-Hosts Brad Barrett and Jonathan Mendonsa, ChooseFI has become home to the largest Financial Independence community in the world. Every podcast episode, video, and blog article is packed with relatable, real-life content crowdsourced from the FI community. Each week they share the best life hacks, strategies, stories, tools, and resources to help you take control of your money and get 1% better each day on your journey to FI. Worth noting, I have found that I really enjoy podcasting and having conversation without all the ads and interruptions many podcasters use.  If you enjoy the ideas, find joy or inspiration from my work, you can buy me a coffee to say thanks and support the show.  If you want to go deeper with the content and/or get more engaged you can find additional ways to support the show through the links below.   Website for this episode: https://ordinarysherpa.com/127Subscribe to the email List:  https://ordinarysherpa.com/subscribe/ Resources Referenced in this episode 4 Hour Work Week Flippa.com site to purchase ecommerce sites Beyond Normal: a field guide to embrace adventure, explore the wilderness and design an extraordinary life with kids (my book) buy me a coffee  and reach out regarding your questions on how I might help you on your journey To Connect with or Follow Brad Barrett Podcast: Choose FI PodcastEmail List: ChooseFI.com/subscribe Website: Choose FI  

Be It Till You See It
272. The Importance of PR in Staying Relevant

Be It Till You See It

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 5, 2023 24:25


Ever wondered about the magic behind authentic PR? Dive in with Lesley and Brad as they unravel Lesley's insightful conversation with PR expert, Whitney Lee! Explore the world of genuine connections and discover the charm of organic engagement in this recap episode.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Learn to tailor PR strategies to align with your unique market.Grasp the importance of valuing facts over emotions in PR narratives.Discover PR's crucial role in sustaining brand relevance.Find out how to attract people who resonate with your vibe.Episode References/Links:Cambodia Pilates RetreateLevate Mentorship  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Join us at our Cambodia Retreat - Oct. 8-13, 2023Get your free Athletic Greens 1 year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free travel packsGet your discount for some Toe Sox using the code: LESLEYBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Brad Crowell 0:00  Authenticity, right. And this idea of authentic, you know, I feel like it's overplayed, but but the way that she talks about it, you know, it's important to just be yourself, you have to be you and what it will happen organically is that you will attract people who appreciate your vibe, your personality, your nature, your you know, bubbliness or, you know, and vice versa, you're actually going to be turning away people who just don't vibe with you. Lesley Logan 0:00  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:20  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It Interview Recap where my co-host in life Brad and I are going to dig into the pragmatic convo I have with Whitney Lee in our last episode. If you haven't yet, listened to this episode yet, you should go back and do that. Because Whitney Lee is a badass. She also just won some awards in Florida where she's like, of the women to know and the girl can dress I'm just gonna say it. So we love Whitney. Before we get into the interview, today is October 5, which is two days after Brad and I celebrate our wedding anniversary of eight years.  Brad Crowell 0:50  What? Holy cow.Lesley Logan 0:51  I could be wrong on the (inaudible). I'm pretty sure I'm dead fucking right.Brad Crowell 0:55  Yeah, you're right. Lesley Logan 0:56  Anyways, we used to wonder if it was October 3 or October 5 was our anniversary. We're pretty clear it's on the third. Brad Crowell 1:02  Yeah, it was on the fourth. Yeah. Lesley Logan 1:05  We really hope it was on the third. Brad Crowell 1:06  It was the third it was the third. Lesley Logan 1:08  It's in our calendar guys don't worry (inaudible). And today is the only two days after our eight year wedding anniversary. It is World Teachers' Day and also World Meningitis Day. And because I thought both these are so important for you to know about first of all celebrate the teachers in your life and many of you are listening to this podcast so I celebrate all of you. (Brad: Yeah) And by the way, if your parents did not freak the fuck out of you about kissing someone wrong in college and getting spinal meningitis today's the day someone tells you don't kiss the wrong person. You could die.Brad Crowell 1:45  I've never heard of this. She said it to me, I was like what are you talking about? (Lesley: I was warned) I thought you've got, I thought you got like what was the what was the sickness that you got (Lesley: Mono) I thought you got Mono from kissing people in college.Lesley Logan 1:56  I got Mono before I'd ever kissed someone and you would not believe how much I had to convince my parents. I did not kiss anybody to get mono because all the fucking old wives tales had them convinced I must admit that was someone at any rate, I don't believe in injuries to just come from kissing a frog. I do believe it does come from like college shit dorm room so watch yourself. And if you're not in college, wash your hands. Okay, (Brad: Wash your hands) Everyone should just wash their hands. Brad Crowell 2:21  Yeah, college is a pandemic is what she's basically saying. Lesley Logan 2:23  Well life is I mean it's got a lot of shit going on. But at any rate, washing your hands is never a bad thing. (Brad: It's never a bad thing.) Unless the water is (inaudible). Okay, so we are currently in Cambodia (Brad: Believe it or not.). So this is recorded ahead of time obviously. We are in Cambodia. Our retreat starts in a couple of days we are so excited. (Brad: Oh man.) eality is is that if you're wanting to come to the next retreat, we're only doing one next year (Brad: Only doing one.) So here's the deal we're gonna open up the doors for the early bird special toBrad Crowell 2:54  Open up the doors. I'm just your hyped man today.Lesley Logan 2:56  Okay, only those on the wait list. Oh my god, it's a really bad (inaudible). (Brad: Oh, wow.) Seriously though, if you're on the waitlist, you'll get the early bird special. So you want to be on the waitlist Lesleylogan.co/retreat will get you there. We will be opening the doors in January for you to sign up. The space is limited because the reality is we only have so many rooms in our house and so many rooms in our neighbor's house. (Brad: It's true.) It's not their house. It's like It's like actual bed and breakfast. But at any rate, and there's only so many seats on Brad Crowell 3:30  We call it the guest house there. We don't call it a bed and breakfast. (Lesley: They got a guest house.) Yeah, there's a guest house.Lesley Logan 3:36  So yeah. (Brad: November )Yeah. So then November when I get back when we get back from Cambodia. We have Nashville for our own personal stuff. No, I'm not teaching. I love you Nashville. We'll talk. Then I'm going to head to Chicago to meet up with Erika Quest. The very first weekend of November. We're teaching at the Club Pilates on St. Charles. And if you are wanting tickets to that, as of the recording of this episode, we actually do not have the public link for you yet. So you want to just DM me to see if there's any spots left. And then it's Thanksgiving. So you know, thanks you're giving. And then we're going to be in December on our winter tour. Now the winter tour is super fun. Actually the first weekend of December I'm actually going to Frisco for our annual Frisco workshops with Erika Quest, shout out to my baby again. And then I come back and then we load the van up and then we we actually hit our winter tour up which Texas you'll be back in the limelight on the winter tour. So I expect to see you two times no excuses. And if you want more information on the winter tour, actually, Brad can tell you where to go.Brad Crowell 4:47  Yeah, so you're gonna go to opc.me/tour.Lesley Logan 4:51  And lastly, all of these things are awesome but clearly sound like in person events. It's not always possible. You might live somewhere amazing the world if you are a Pilates teacher, Happy World Teacher Today, and also, I may have spots left in my mentorship program. I only offer it once a year Sue, if you are wanting to basically get some confidence in how you're teaching, make it easier to show up, teach and enjoy that time outside of teaching and really progress your clients and also your amazing practice, then you'll want to go to Lesleylogan.co/elevate to hear more about my mentorship. It's pretty awesome. In fact, some people would call it a game changer, those people would be eLevate people.Brad Crowell 5:31  Yeah. You can also send her a DM. Lesley Logan 5:34  You can. You can send me a DM, it's probably will probably will keep you from ending up on a waitlist and making sure that you actually get the information before it kicks off. Because once it kicks off, that's it, folks. (Brad: That's it, folks.) So, 2025, which is kind of nuts. So probably (Brad: That's weird.) and also, we cannot guarantee what I'm doing in 2025. (Brad: That's true.) I'm an Aquarius, you guys. That's just how it goes. Anyways, before we talk about Whitney Lee, Brad, we have audience questions?Brad Crowell 6:03  We do. Right now, we just are wrapping up Agency Mini from Profitable Pilates and (Lesley: It's very wrapped.) Yeah. Well, yes, at the time of recording, Alexis George asks tips from keeping, what are tips to keep your clients moving and not talking as much?Lesley Logan 6:23  Oh my gosh, raise your hand unless you're driving only raise one hand. If your clients teach you treat you like they're a therapist?Brad Crowell 6:31  Oh, I mean, I think it just comes with the job, right?Lesley Logan 6:35  Well, here is the deal. My loves. And it's not like I didn't have clients who did this. And it's not like I didn't see some of my favorite teachers who I love and respect have clients who do this, clients do this. However, it is out of your scope to actually therapize them. So you can listen to (Brad: Is that a word, therapize?) Yes, dear, look it up. It's a word. If I were playing Scrabble, it's a word. And it's got a Z so I would like all the points. Brad Crowell 6:57  It's totally a word. Subject (Lesley: You heard it here.) to psychological therapy. (Lesley: Yeah.) You don't need to therapize or fix each other.Lesley Logan 7:05  Yeah, you don't, unless you're actually a therapist and actually paying you for that. But what I find is like movement, is where trauma leaves the body. And so there is going to be some discussion of things they are not going to be silent. You know, unless they're a silent person, and there are those people, you're just like, do you like this? Do you like me? Is this working? And the truth is that their workout faces and their workout, like being is not actually a true barometer of how amazing your teaching is. Nor is their talking too much, but what you can do. First of all, I love exercises that make them have to focus. So you can actually go hey, I want to hear the story.Brad Crowell 7:48  So did you say coordination? I'm pretty sure that you said coordination. Lesley Logan 7:50  Yeah. How's that going? For you, Brad? Brad Crowell 7:51  Yeah, it's going. (Lesley: Yeah, you're doing it.) I didn't do it right. I did it wrong. 100%.Lesley Logan 7:57  Okay. Thank God for flashcards anyway, so you pick an exercise that makes them have to think so first of all, I let my client absolutely tell me everything about their day, their neighbors, that, you know, the weekend lives in their building, and all that shit, during footwork. Because guess what, when the 100 comes, they have to shut the fuck up. They have to this is where you all, even if your contemporary teacher, can I just say steal the footwork through the 100, it will help because the footwork, they can talk, talk talk, it's fine. You're just looking at seeing what their body's doing anyways, and then 100 they cannot breathe in for five and out for five and pumped arms at the same time, and tell you about their day, unless they're fucking amazing. And therefore that story must be worth hearing. So I love to make a joke like, oh, wow, you really want to tell me the story while you're counting to 100. I'm impressed. And it kind of gets them to go, Oh, I am so sick in 200. Because I always say and if you've been to any class, on my tours, I say, I have never counted to 100 ever my 15-year career, and today is not the day I'm doing that. So these things are really helpful. Just bring people back to it. But also, again, because they're moving trauma is going to leave the body. It may. They don't know what that trauma is. And so they're often just like talking because they don't know what they're feeling. And so it's a little weird. And some people are verbal processors. Hello, I'm one of them. So I actually talk to Jay, on a zoom class with six other people there. I'm like, it's too quiet. Let me tell you a story. All right. So I hear you. Here's another tip. Don't ask an actual question back. Just say, Oh, wow, that must have been really difficult, period. You know, so if you don't ask a question back, or when you speak, you just bring them back to the exercise. And if they asked you a question, full permission, just go. Well, you know, I haven't thought about that. Let me think about it and get back to you. Like you can actually just go let me think about that and get back to you. (Brad: Shut it down.) You don't have to, and if they ask anything you should go, Look, this is really important that I progress you and you get your goals. Unless you just really love hanging out with me and paying for that. I really want to make sure you get your goals. Yeah. And that really helps because the thing is that they don't reach their goals. If they ever have a bad day and their packages do, and they're having bad money trouble. You're on the chopping block. So it's really important to bring it back to it and it's difficult. You have to train them how to treat you, but it is possible. And again, make them work. They can't speak at the same time. Okay, I love it. If you have questions, send them in.Brad Crowell 10:34  Send in a DM. Lesley Logan 10:35  Yeah.  Brad Crowell 10:39  All right, let's talk about Whitney Lee. Whitney Lee is the founder of True Story. And she's a seasoned PR expert who champions authentic connections. She simplifies complex strategies, empowering business owners to navigate challenges with an effective approach.Lesley Logan 10:55  Okay, well, I'm gonna jump in. (Brad: Do it.) I loved some stuff. First of all, of course, I love this stuff. She said, she was giving advice about understanding your audience. And whether you are listening to this as a business owner, or listen to this as a person who is trying to like, get donation money for your nonprofit, or, I don't know, get your family to understand that you don't want to go to their house for Thanksgiving, just saying. Lesley Logan 11:20  It's extremely important that you understand the audience you're trying to serve, trying to get to understand that you are the right thing for them that your way is better than the highway. Like, it's really, really important to understand them and their goals and their needs. And so she said, be very clear on who you serve. For example, if you're serving moms between 30 and 45, use that information. And especially now moms, moms today at 30 to 45 have often had two young kids. So like, if this was the 80s, my grandmother would be in this age group.Lesley Logan 11:56  But today, they're often like, they worked really hard. They made their money and they have having kids later. So what do these moms need? These are moms who used to have a whole life before they had kids, they actually had time to themselves. They actually, and I just watched a reel where this mom told her kids to like, draw picture of her sleeping, and then she took a nap while they're trying, like these moms have, they know what it's like to have been young and partying. And then also now not to be that so like, get information. And then if you can't find the information you're looking for, you should ask them because customers and consumers don't think the way that business owners think they're not thinking in the marketing and PR terms. So if so you can't you can't think like yourself, you have to think like them. And so sometimes just ask them, Why are you here? How did you find us? Why do you keep coming back? What is this doing for you? Like, I know that sounds weird, but it's really fun. And I often would ask my clients this, especially when they would refer me people that I'm like, How the fuck? Did this person come in my doors? So I'm like, Oh, tell me more about what you told your friend about what we do here. And then I heard like, oh, like calm and it's super relaxing. I love the coffee. And you just like you just like really helped me like think about what's going on my day. And I'm like, none of those things are things I'm proud of, like none of those things so cool. Okay. Noted. Noted. We got to shut you up. But anyways, like, it's so important. I'm joking. And also being truthful. Like.Brad Crowell 13:27  well, you can empower your clients with the thing to say, right you can we talk about this a lot with our with our, you know, the clients that we coach, to just explain, hey, here's what it is that we're doing here.Lesley Logan 13:39  Yes. And that is why you should ask people what it is you're doing there because that will let you know if you're doing a good job of that or not. And also it'll let you know, like, where did they fight? Find out your information? Like, what what was their real reason for coming in. So that's why I understand what their goals are. And even if not everyone has fitness goals, but like, Okay, but what prompted you to like actually spend the time to come here today? Like why now? What is it now? Right? So really kind of get in their head? Because that's the best way for you to meet other people like them.Brad Crowell 14:10  Yeah, yeah. And to get to know, you know who your actual person is. Lesley Logan 14:14  Yeah. And it's not a cartoon character. This is a real person. As we know from Hillary Hartling. It's a real person. So ask real people.Brad Crowell 14:21  Call back, Hillary Hartling. (Lesley: Episode...) No, good luck. I don't know.Lesley Logan 14:28  It was December of when we launched so I'm going to say 47, 49.Brad Crowell 14:37  Close. 57.Lesley Logan 14:38  What. (Brad: Yeah) Look at me. (Brad:) If someone's listening for the first time, was like, I don't understand that's so far off. Let me just tell you I'm pretty darn close within 10 episodes most of the time. Kareen was a fluke.Brad Crowell 14:54  All right. All right. All right. (Lesley: What did you love?) So I really enjoyed what she was talking about operating solely on emotions versus looking at, you know, the numbers, or looking at facts is what she was talking about actually, she said, it's not about how it feels or how you feel about it. Because we often operate in that space where we're operating based off the way we feel. Right? And she said, what ends up happening is that we end up because of the way we feel we end up seeking evidence to support that feeling. Right, which can be a downward spiral, or you can be completely kidding yourself.Lesley Logan 15:33  Oh, yeah. We talked about this with the doctor Philippe. PhilippeBrad Crowell 15:39  Douyon. Yes. Lesley Logan 15:40  I'm not gonna be able to recall the episode we had him on twice. So there's two different numbers in my brain, but he taught there's an actual brain scientific thing for this, like cognitive, something something.Brad Crowell 15:50  But, but so, you know, we ended up trying to prove or disprove things based on how we feel, and not on what's happening around us what's actually happening around us. And I thought that was really interesting. You know, she she actually said something really which I thought was, she said, you have to know, when you're going down that path, and you need something. You need to be able to do something to kind of snap out of it.Lesley Logan 16:17  Cold water. Ice plunge. (Brad: Sure.) Hot, cold shower. (Brad: Cold shower.)Brad Crowell 16:23  Yeah. But I mean, she didn't mention those things. But those are options. She said when she's working with our clients, they definitely do not come up with strategies based off of feelings or hunches. Instead, they're looking at hard truths. And they're trying to find a way forward by looking at that, you know, what's happening around them.Lesley Logan 16:44  I think that's true. I mean, I think it's also important to acknowledge the feelings you're having and share them with people so that you can also beware of a pattern like, what, what sets off the feeling that you're having? That is opposite of what the actual facts are. So that when you are having those feelings, you can go oh, oh, hold on. This is that time, like, you got to? (Brad: Yeah) we do that around the house, when we talked about this with Chris Goodman, like, I'll, you'll just be here with me walking out on my, I'm having a fear of success, right now. I'm gonna go take a shower, like, I'm gonna go like, pause this out. But I wouldn't be able to do that today, where I like to live like go, Oh, these feelings are going to keep me from actually paying attention to what is actually happening. They're going to derail me, they're gonna make me make up products that are not for real things. So so I'm aware of that now, I wasn't aware of that before. And it took me longer to figure it out. So I actually think it's really important to acknowledge them so that you can pay attention to the hard truth, you can go seeking it out when they come up. My opinion. (Brad: Well said.)Brad Crowell 17:53  All right. So finally, let's talk about those be it action items, what bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items, can we take away from your convo with Whitney Lee? She said, The most important thing you can do for all of y'all out there because obviously she runs a PR firm, right? So she has a bunch of clients. And the whole one thing I thought was interesting, actually, I'm just gonna throw this in here. Before the bold truth is she talked about the difference. The distinction between PR and sales. She said sales is very obviously, you're trying to generate money coming in. PR, you're trying to stay at the top of the conversation. You're trying to stay relevant. (Lesley: Yes.) And so I suppose the first time I ever heard, like that distinction.Lesley Logan 18:33  Also like you're creating authority, like the perception of authority, yeah. Brad Crowell 18:38  Totally. But part of that staying relevant is using social media. And she said, the most important thing, if you're just getting started, is to reject this idea of what people think you are and that they, that you you try to, like put out content for what you think they need, and instead, do you think they think so. Right? And is that you should be putting out content based on you being you. Right? Authenticity, right? And this idea of authentic, you know, I feel like it's overplayed, but but the way that she talks about it, you know, it's important to just be yourself, you have to be you and what it will happen organically is that you will attract people who appreciate your vibe, your personality, your nature, your you know, bubbliness or, you know, and vice versa, you're actually going to be turning away people who just don't vibe with you in that way. And that's actually okay. Right. So she said, it has to you have to stop being overly manicured with photos and get into stories daily. And actually just be yourself in your stories. And then she said, figure out how you're different and talk about that on social media.Lesley Logan 19:53  Yeah. So many great reminders actually did a story of me I'm in my pajamas right now. You guys we're recording this in my pajamas. I put them on for 30 today. And then I was like, Oh, I haven't done a video in this outfit for Tabby yet. And so I was like, alright, so I did a little story. I'm like, I'm like, so I filmed two workouts, and I didn't need to change the sweaty clothes. So I put on my pajamas for 30, more like 60 to get that for the rest of the day. And I did it and they're like, Oh, we love this. You should be in pajamas all day and they shared it and I'm like, You know what? That is actually so much more fun. It really really is. It's so much easier it's so you know, we get on our heads like oh my god, what is this background look like the house, whatever. But it's like people actually just really like want to see who you really are. And it's way more fun that way. So I really love her advice there. I loved and her Be It action items to continually put yourself out there. She said it is really important to pursue opportunities too often people are waiting for the opportunities to come their way pursue them so not pitches. Gaius is in a pitch right now for earn media coverage, partnerships, speaking engagements, podcast tours, like just wherever you're wanting to be seen based on who you want to serve. So remember podcasts. If you're if your peeps are over a certain age, God bless them. They're still not here yet. We're working on it. Gaia is sending out a pitch, she's,Brad Crowell 21:16  She's at a certain age,Lesley Logan 21:17  She is a lady of a certain age, she'sBrad Crowell 21:19  Now barking at nothing.Lesley Logan 21:21  Yes, she barked at a bolster today you guys should. At any rate, that is the bead accent, which I really, really love. We're just going to talk over Gaia because it's okay. She also said to offer value. And this is really, really important. So when you reach out to a podcast or by the way, if you're if you're listening to this and you're about to pitch to me, please do not tell me how amazing you are, you have to tell me how amazing what you have to share on my podcast is for my listeners. And so whenever I pitch to be on podcasts, and very specifically one like, Hey, I heard your podcast is about this, here's what I could talk about to support your listeners and your mission. So be there make sure you're very clear on like, how you actually benefit the people that you're pitching to. Because they get pitched up all day long. Of course you want them to talk about you, but they've earned that audience. So you have to make sure that you actually are supporting that that connection they have with the audience. And then she saidLesley Logan 22:16  the best angle, focus on giving. Educate and give without asking for anything in return it will come back to you. You know, we had Rory Vaden on last month and he is very big on this. He in fact, like he talked about how he just gave so much advice to Lisa and so many bill you that they don't have him Tom, thank you guys, that they were like we have to pay you like we actually pay you for this. So like, you have to just like focus on the service and it all comes back. That's how the world works. All right. I'm Lesley Logan.Brad Crowell 22:48  And I'm Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 22:48  Thank you so much for listening to me, Brad, Gaia. And of course this podcast we're so grateful for you. Truly, really I can't believe we're about to hit the 300th episode. (Brad: I know it's kind of insane.) It's insane. Clare Solly was like do you realize I just listened to Episode 250 that means you're gonna be at 300 really quickly and I'm like oh shit, yes we are. Do we need, we will figure how to use this soundboard over here before then. Anyways, we are so grateful to you for sharing this podcast to someone you know who needs to hear it. And until next time. Be It Till You See It.Brad Crowell 23:18  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 23:18  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. Brad Crowell 23:18  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 23:18  It is produced, edited by the epic team at Disenyo. Brad Crowell 23:18  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 23:18  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions. Brad Crowell 23:18  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Be It Till You See It
Change The Sex Conversation (ft. Brad Crowell) Ep86

Be It Till You See It

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 24, 2022 30:10


What are the preconceptions around sex that are impacting your life? Today Brad and LL, discuss tools needed to have a new mindset around sex. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:LL Running patterns Confidence that can grow from vulnerability Learning the tools and skill sets to communicate in sex grows roots into other areas of your life. The sexual messages taught in childhood There are different seasons of sexEpisode References/Links:Level up MVMTThe We+LLthy Mindset OPC Flashcards:OPC Flashcards are on AmazonOPC Flashcards are on our site  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.  ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Social MediaInstagramFacebookTik TokLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:01  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the open convo I had with Celeste Holbrook in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened that episode, feel free to pause this now. Go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us or listen to this one. But here's the deal, y'all got to listen to the episode ...Brad Crowell 1:04  You have to go back and listen to it. (Lesley: You have ...) Though you have no choice. If you haven't yet listened to that episode, you have to.Lesley Logan 1:10  One of them, I mean, I don't want to say that I have favorites but one of my favorites. (Brad: Yeah) Just was a ... (Brad: Pretty powerful.) It's really powerful. And it's also not a conversation people have enough. And we have to have her back like have to her back because we didn't even talk about bodies yet. Like there's just so much to talk about. So (Brad: Sure) Celeste if you're listening, let's talk. (Brad laughs) Okay, so I am days away from being on Level Up MVMT, my friend Erika Quest platform to teach my workshop - Talk Less, Teach More, which means we are just a couple weeks away, not even two, I think our second our WE+LLthy Mindset 2.0. Which is a four week program for teachers and fitness professionals, where we are going to help you go - From Failure to Flow. And there's so much science on flow states and like we all know that failure is not actually failure. But like it's hard and you can know it but then do you know it. So you'll want to join us. We'll start on April 8 with that. So it is all over at the levelupmvmt.com, which is just levelupmvmt.com, don't put the dot there that I made that up. (Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell 2:13  Yeah. levelupmvmt.com. Right. (Lesley: Mm-hmm. m v m t)Lesley Logan 2:17  Okay. What is the question that we have this week?Brad Crowell 2:20  Okay, so LL you mentioned you were a runner. Well, how often do you run and how far are you running?Lesley Logan 2:28  Okay, so um, I was a runner. I've been, I've been a runner and like many different stages of my life. So I was a runner in high school, and then I retired but then I came out of retirement ...Brad Crowell 2:41  You retired after high school? (Lesley: Yeah) You're like,Lesley Logan 2:44  I retired in high school... (Brad: I'll hanging up my shoes.) Yeah, (Brad: I'm good.) I retired in high school.Brad Crowell 2:48  ... were you like in 10th grade, like, "Oh, I've retired."Lesley Logan 2:52  Junior high, Junior year, Junior year, not Junior high, Junior year. Um, no, I just had a lot going on for my senior year. And like, if y'all don't know, I had, like, I had to pay and to make money. So I had to work. And so I couldn't actually be on a team and work. So, I I had, I didn't like my coach. So I was like, you know, "I'm just not gonna run." And then I went to college, and they found out I was a runner, and they're like, "Oh, do you want to run." And I was like, "What's the scholarship?" And I was like, "That is not even nearly enough money to make me want to run for you." So I would run for myself. But it wasn't until I think 2011 that I actually got back into running again. And I was really good at it, actually. (Brad: Hmm) And that's because of Pilates, it really is and and then also a couple good running coaches, but I retired from competitive running and I was actually sponsored in 2013 when I broke my and before I broke my leg. So anyways, I after I healed my leg break, I always ran three-ish miles every single morning or four mornings a week we're in LA around UCLA. Then we moved here, and that stopped because it was hot. It was thought, it was fire. That's the temperature here, fire in the summertime. So like I ...Brad Crowell 4:04  So on a scale from one to fire. (Lesley: Yeah) How hot is it in Vegas?Lesley Logan 4:08  Fire! (Brad laughs) (Brad: Oh okay, just making sure.) So, so I actually basically stopped running when we moved here. And that was like one of my favorite things to do. Anyways, once it gets colder, I actually do pick up running and I only run probably two miles now. The honest truth is ladies, we don't actually need as much cardio as we do. And so I I I'm trying more as I'm I'm 39 so like I'm approaching the the years where like menopause is a thing ... (Brad: Is that mean I'm 39?) It means you're almost 40. (Brad: What the hell?) Yeah, that's what that means. So, he's like literally is almost 40. (Brad laughs) So, anyway, at any rate. I'm just for me, I am trying to be conscious of like, "Why am I running? What is the purpose of this and like, how does this help me?" Like ease on through to the other side of what will be menopause someday and people don't make it sound fun. So, anyway, I work on strength training. So I'll... if you're, the question is "How often do I run?" I run four days a week, a couple miles and that's all I do. Now, do I miss it? There are days when I think, "You know what, I'm gonna do a half marathon again." And then I remember that I have to run a half marathon. And to be honest, like, I have so many other things I like to do. And so if you don't like running, know that there are other things you can do to get your heart rate up. You can get your heart rate up doing Pilates, like if you do Pilates with my classes, you'll get your heart rate up. (Brad: Yeah) If you like ... (Brad: even in 15 minutes) Yeah, you will, you really will like you like when you do a class with me on OPC, I will get your heart rate up. (Brad: Yeah) And it's the kind of heart rate that like goes up and down, up and down, which is really good for training your heart for those kinds of things, as opposed to just like keeping it up the whole time. But if you don't like running, don't run. If you like it, go do it. I mean, running groups are so much fun. You can make really great friends doing it. I just got like ...Brad Crowell 4:08  There's a epic community of runners here in Vegas. And we see them outside the gym when we go. (Lesley: Mm-hmm) And they they meet up on the mornings (Lesley: Mm-hmm) and they run and like ...Lesley Logan 4:53  They have like three groups. They have like really fast people than they have regular people and they have walk... like people bring their dogs, they wear tutus like it's a whole thing. (Brad laughs) So like, if you are, if you do like running and you're wanting new friends or to be around positive vibe people, check out running groups. (Brad: Yeah) But yeah, I am, I know that my running days are coming to a near end because it's starting to heat up in the mornings and I just won't do it. I won't run in, I won't want in hot. (Brad: You mean this year?) Yeah. (Brad: Yeah) So, I like I take the summer off. (Brad: Yeah) (Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell 6:44  She ... I just found out that she's been running since November.Lesley Logan 6:46  Yeah, he does (Brad: Like ...) does even know. Like I was mentioned it and he goes, "You run?" And I was like, "Oh, yeah, in the morning."Brad Crowell 6:52  Cuz I thought (Lesley: when I'm free.) she stopped.Lesley Logan 6:54  Right. Because I stopped for the... I stopped for the fire season.Brad Crowell 6:57  Yeah. For the fire, you stopped for fire. (Lesley: Yeah) And now you run for non fire.Lesley Logan 7:02  I run during that, I run during that... (Brad: You run for snow.) run for this, I run when it's cold. Okay, you gonna hear sounds hilarious. (Brad: Yes) Okay, this is what I run in. I have this like puffer coat that goes to your knees. It's not my Canada Goose, nice... nice one. It's like, but it's like one of those down (Brad: Oh, yeah) puffer coats that everyone wears. It's black, it's like the puffy thing it goes down to my knees. I wear that to run in. So, I run in like, even in shorts, sometimes with it on and I run (Lesley laughs) two miles in it, and I get really hot. And then I (Brad: Oh, my gosh.) can ... and then I walk like the last mile home. And I am in a perfect temperature state. But like yes, I'm not running in running clothes. I'm running in a puffer coat ...Brad Crowell 7:46  You look like a soccer mom running two miles. Lesley Logan 7:48  I think I look like a homeless person.Brad Crowell 7:50  Yeah. There ya go. (Lesley laughs) ... Yeah.Lesley Logan 7:52  But that's okay because here's what I don't want to do. I really don't want to invest in running gear. I don't want to buy another running jacket. I don't want any of those things. And I like it because it goes all the way up to my face. So it keeps my neck and my cheeks warm and all that stuff. And (Brad: Yeah, that's nice.) so, anyways, you know, it's me if you're like, "Is she running from something?" (Brad laughs) No, she's not. She's just running. (Brad: Just running.) But I do look like I might be running from something (Brad laughs) cuz of the outfit that I'm wearing.Brad Crowell 8:22  That is amazing. (Lesley: Yeah) All right. Well, now let's talk about Cel... Dr. Celeste Holbrook. (Lesley: Yeah) Celeste is a safe sex or sorry, is a sex educator, speaker, author and proud mom of twins. She is very excited about that. She's on a mission to provide safe spaces for individuals to talk about sex, so that they can grow confident, confidence routes that sprout into other parts of their lives.Lesley Logan 8:56  Yeah, well, speaking of that, so one of the things that I wanted to bring her on was I was telling her I, before we started recording, and then we brought it up when we were recording, like, I just feel that a lot of that... that something that holds women back is their ability to be confident in the bedroom, feel sexy, feel like they can ask for what they want. I know nothing about this stuff. I, this is not my area of expertise. And she had said, you know, like, if you are able to ask for what you want in your most vulnerable spaces, such as when you're naked and having sex, then you can ask for a raise at work, then you can do things like basically like just being in that position is very vulnerable. And if you can actually say, "This is what I'd like to do right now. This is how I'd like to feel right now. This is what I want." Then can you imagine like when the waiter is like, "Hey, would you like this?" You be like, "Yeah, that's exactly what I want." Like you're not gonna like, "I don't know, is it okay if I can have it with like the dressing on the side." Like you're (Lesley laughs) you're just gonna start realizing that like you can ask for what you want and other areas because a no where any of those other areas as vulnerable as the one you were in, (Brad: Right) when you were in the bedroom. So or wherever you're having sex, like you can have it wherever you want. I guess we probably should have said at the beginning of this episode, "If your kids (Brad: Oh) are with you, this is probably the time to now put your airpods in." (Brad laughs) Oop.Brad Crowell 10:16  Yep. Yeah, we'll, we'll have to, we'll to add that in on that. (Brad and Lesley laughs) Good point.Lesley Logan 10:22  Yeah, so um, anyways, learning the tools and skill sets to communicate in sex grows roots into other areas of your life. And I really, really, really want if this at all intrigued you. If you're like, I don't know, maybe it made you feel uncomfortable. Maybe you felt like I don't that like also curious. Please follow her on Instagram, because her reels will make you laugh, even though they have dildos in them or other things that she's showing. And, and that's her mission. And I think if you can laugh, like comedy makes things a little bit more comfortable. (Brad: Sure) Yeah. What did you like?Brad Crowell 10:55  Well, I, speaking about that, like intro of like, "Are your kids in the room kind of a thing?" She said something very powerful. At the end, she said, "We make shame, by being ashamed." And, part of her mission is to normalize the conversation about sex. And she was specifically talking about her kids. (Lesley: Mm-hmm) And she said, "Look, I still get a little weird about it with my kids. This isn't like, you know, everything is like fair game now. I might as well just talk about at all." I don't think that's what she means by that. But she was talking about how does she, how does sex become normal in just like ... Like, well, actually what she said, she said something else that is very applicable. She said, we watch you know, YouTube for like cooking shows, (Lesley: Mm-hmm) or we watch TV for cooking shows. Right? Or, you know, how do you chop down a tree? Or how do you like whatever, like plant, you know, a cactus garden. But we we don't watch. There's nothing that is like that for sex. (Lesley: No) Except for you know, (Lesley: performative) performative sex, (Lesley: Yeah) you know. So, porn, obviously, is what she's talking about. She didn't say that. But you know, so the only, you know, or actually, it's not even just that, it could just be movies. I mean, (Lesley: Mm-hmm) you know, the way it's portrayed in film ...Lesley Logan 12:17  Oh, my gosh, in the movies, everybody is having morning sex. And I'm like, "But don't you need to brush your teeth?" Like, (Brad laughs) no, but seriously, like, (Brad: That's true.) that breath is not going to be good. That is not going to be a fun kiss. And then also, like, "No, don't go down there. I've been sleeping. And this whole time I sweat when I sleep." Like there's nothing, nothing... So you watch these movies and you're like, "Oh, I can't do that. And so there's something wrong with me because I am, I have to brush my teeth." Like, you know, so it's this weird thing.Brad Crowell 12:45  Right. We blame ourselves, but back to, you know, normalizing the conversation and talking about kids. You know, she, she's been, you know, she is a sex educator. Right? So she actually has dildos in her office. Right? And so she said her daughter came by the other day and said, "Are you talking about penis anatomy, Mommy?" You know, like, that, to me is a little jaw dropping, but also how like refreshing because it's not this weird, taboo, like ...Lesley Logan 13:16  I'm so excited for her children and then like the other people around her because also like, you're correct. It's not this weird taboo thing that you (Brad: Yeah, I mean ...) like go through life hiding, sneaking, trying to figure out and (Brad: Yeah) probably not going to fig... like, anyways, it's just going to create a lot of shit.Brad Crowell 13:31  Well, brings back a lot of terrible memories for me about like, you know, the only thing I was taught about sex was "No." (Lesley: Don't have it.) That was it. That was it. (Lesley: Yeah) You know, and and like, you know, my parents sat me down and had the sex conversation, but it was literally like ... (Lesley: Did they?) Yeah, I was probably like, 12 and I'm pretty sure my grandmother was involved. (Lesley: Oh, my God.) But, uh, but it was basically it was ...Lesley Logan 13:54  The grandmo...? (Brad: Yeah) Oh (Brad: Yeah) shoot that, but she would have been like a nice comic relief there.Brad Crowell 13:59  I mean, I was 12. So it was awkward. (Lesley laughs) But, you know the reality is, you know, that, what I took away from all of that was aside from just the, you know, anatomy was, "Don't fucking have sex." Like, that was like, basically, they couldn't have hammered that home more. And ...Lesley Logan 14:15  Yeah, I was told if you have sex, you're gonna get pregnant, like everyone. And then anytime any girl got pregnant the first time she had sex, they made sure that I heard the story. Or worse, like if a person got like AIDS from having sex the first time. Like, (Brad: Right) it was like all about the fear.Brad Crowell 14:29  It's like, it's like that this is your brain on drugs (Lesley: Yes) kind of stuff. (Lesley: Yes) You know, like crackling in the pan. You know, and, and I think that, like, it creates this incredibly fear based, you know, (Lesley: Well ...) it creates anxiety, like, you know, then all of a sudden ... it's so dumb to me because she experienced this too when she said, you know ...Lesley Logan 14:50  It's literally why she became what she became because (Brad: Yes) all of the messages she was given, literally caused her to not be able, like her body was like, "No, like, I made me this thing of fortune themes." You're like, "How we know?" (Brad and Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell 15:03  Well, she said, she said that, you know, she was told, "Don't have sex, don't have sex." So she didn't have penetrative sex until she was married. Right? And that, to me is wha... is the weird thing is like, the whole time we're like, "No, no, no, no, no, this is wrong. This is wrong. This is taboo. It's taboo." And then all sudden, it's like, "Now it's fine." It's like, it doesn't work like that, like ... (Lesley: That it's all the thing to be...) you don't just like switch it suddenly.Lesley Logan 15:25  I know but we tell kids all the time, "Don't talk to strangers and then go get candy from a stranger. Don't don't let, don't let men touch you. Go sit on that man's lap." Like know what, like, you know, like with Santa Claus and Halloween, like we do this all the time. But like, it's not, it's actually not great. And especially on this level, it's, you're gonna spend most of your adult like most of the life you have is at an age where you could totally be having sex and like, and it can be something that's really pleasurable. And we actually put, it actually the way we talk about it and the way we raise people. Look at how many people get divorced. Look at how many people are not feeling fulfilled. Look at how many people feel ashamed or (Brad: Can't communicate.) communicate. (Brad: Like any of that stuff.) Yeah. (Brad: Totally) Or, and then there's all these other things. It's like, it's, you know, it's, I don't know, that's a simple thing. But like, it's very simple. If we actually just stop creating shame around something, (Brad: Yeah) we would stop being ashamed. We'd have a normal conversation about it. (Brad: Yeah) Anyways, you... FYI, Brad and I were raised (Lesley laughs) very religious, if you haven't figured that out. And and I want to say if you were as well, Celeste is an amazing person to reach out to. She ...Brad Crowell 16:31  Yeah. Just to say that clearly. We were, we were raised very religious.Lesley Logan 16:35  Yeah. (Brad: Yeah) Yeah. And she works specifically with people who are raised in that purity culture. (Brad: Yeah) And she really does have, it's not like, you know, like, it, it, I love the way she has this conversation around it. And I think it's really great for those who have been that place if you're wanting to explore having more confidence in this area.Brad Crowell 16:56  Yeah. (Lesley: Okay) Yeah. All right. Finally, let's talk about the BE IT action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Dr. Holbrook?Lesley Logan 17:07  Well, are you going first?Brad Crowell 17:09  Yeah, I think I will. She said, "Write down how you want to feel around sex. Get clear on your desires, and then talk about it with your partner." And I thought that was so refreshing because it's, you know, we bring a lot of strange things to the table when it comes to sex, such as, like, obligation. Right? Or, you know, or, or, like, judgment or performance, or, you know, like, you know ...Lesley Logan 17:41  Well, there's also just everything that's already in your head about how, how you feel about yourself. So like, you know, it's hard. Like, if you have, if you as a I'll just speak for myself, because I am a woman. But like, if you don't like how you look, or you don't feel like you look good enough, you don't feel sexy. And if you don't follow these things, like ...Brad Crowell 17:59  It's definitely gonna make it complicated to have sex.Lesley Logan 18:01  Yeah. So if you can write down how you want to feel around it, and you can get clear on that with your partner ...Brad Crowell 18:07  By the way, I don't think it's any different for guys. (Lesley: Probably not.) You know like ...Lesley Logan 18:10  You know, actually, so there was this amazing insight of Brené Brown's book - The Gifts of Perfection, I want to say it's that one, but it might be another one, forgive me. Anyways, there was this like, group thing, and this woman was talking about her like cellulite on her legs. And and she like, was like, "No, people won't have sex with me, because I have all this cellulite, whatever." And this guy sitting there, he's like, "It's not about the fucking cellulite. We actually don't want to be rejected by you. And we just want to have sex with you too. And we're feeling the exact same way." And it was like he had this like outbursts. And it was I remember reading and crying because I was like, "Oh, my God, we're all just walking around (Brad: Yeah) wanting the same thing and feeling exactly the same shitty way." (Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell 18:53  Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know, and so what I what I think is really powerful about writing down how you want to feel around sex is first off, it forces you to actually think about it, you know, and it changes the, it changes the way we look at it. Like, if this is how we, you know, there's innately sex, sex is pleasurable, or it's supposed to be. Right? And, you know, pleasure is defined different ways, of course, but, you know, we are supposed to, you know, enjoy it, and it's supposed to be a pleasurable thing. So how do you actually want to feel specifically, and then that will force you to get clear about what you want. And then talk about it with your partner is... I don't think that's normal. Mo... I think that most people don't do that (Lesley: No, no) you know.Lesley Logan 19:45  They just would have sex and then and then somebody is left probably feeling like they didn't get what they wanted, but they didn't say what they wanted.Brad Crowell 19:52  I mean, not necessarily but (Lesley: Maybe) like, but you know, may... like there's certainly like an organic connection. (Lesley: Yeah) And like there's there's certainly a chance that that, you know, you are just fulfilling each other. But there's also the chance that you're not.Lesley Logan 20:06  Yeah. Yeah. And also your partner is not a mind reader. (Brad: Right) And I know we keep talking about this as guys and girls. I'm so sorry for those of you who, who have same sex sex, like, please, you know, so sorry. Like, also with your partner there. So (Brad: Yeah) yeah.Brad Crowell 20:21  Yeah. It's, it's just about, you know, like fulfilling each other's desires. And that creates pleasure. Right? And the communication part, I think, is like, the biggest part.Lesley Logan 20:33  Yeah, I mean, always and everything, but I agree. So my biggest takeaway (that is a dog moaning that is not one of us.) (Lesley and Brad laughs) I'm just pointing that out (Brad: aww) on a particular episode it could be... (Lesley laughs) (Brad: Okay, okay) So my biggest takeaway was write down the sexual messages you got growing up, and what was their lasting impact? And I this is really (Brad: Hmm) important, because, (Brad: Yeah) she brought up things that people say to girls growing up, and I had never like, as she's saying them, I was like, "Oh, my God, literally got that. Yep that. Yep. Oh, that too. Oh, that too." And, and, and, and anyway, like, I didn't realize some of the things that I had been told so often through my high school years that were like, not from my parents, and not from these people. But like, literally was sent home from high school because I didn't wear a tank top that was an inch and a half thick. And I got fined at school, went to a private school because my skirts kept getting too short, because I was growing. And that literally made me feel like I'm responsible for everyone's freaking feelings all the time. And so like, they just think that there's if you listen this episode, and she said things that resonate with you, like, think back to other things that you were said, about what you wore, or what you did, or how you could be affecting people. And like, I mean, I remember being in college and that was when a judge like said to a woman who was wearing jeans "well you got raped because you're wearing jeans", and it's like, these are things that yeah, it's a whole thing. It's in Italy ... (Brad: That doesn't even make any sense.) I know. But these are things these things that are said have a lasting impact ...Brad Crowell 22:20  I mean, not just on girls, but but it almost becomes a permission for guys.Lesley Logan 22:25  100% nail on the head. So like all and ...Brad Crowell 22:30  And that is actually just so I want to talk about it from the guys perspective. (Lesley: Yeah) Right? Like, then it becomes cyclical, right? Like, oh, I'm... so if the girls, you know, spaghetti striped shirt is too thin or whatever. And that could be a turn on for the guys, then now it's on you're thinking like, "Oh, that's a turn on for me." Well, then then if they're, you know, so if they're not wearing that, then maybe then you're not getting turned on. Right? It becomes this weird negative thing ...Lesley Logan 22:59  Well, also becomes a thing like you should, you can only be aroused because of other people.Brad Crowell 23:03  Yeah, that's, that's exactly (Lesley: Yeah, yeah) what I'm what I was going ...Lesley Logan 23:05  Yeah, exact... Okay. Yeah. So and I just was like, and it's, it's like, what is... And when she said it herself. In another talking point, like responsibility is like, like, killer of like arousal. (Brad: Of of, yeah arousal.) Yeah. (Brad: Yeah) And so it's like, if women are all walking around, because we're like, think that we're responsible for your arousal, and you're all walking around thinking, "Well, they gotta arouse me." Then like (Brad: Right) no one's getting aroused. (Lesley and Brad laughs) (Brad: Right) Like no one is. So, um, so I mean, there's just so many things we could talk about. And I truly hope you listen to this, if you have a partner just send it to them, like does like you can just send it to them. (Brad: Yeah send them the whole interview.) If you're unsure how to start the conversation, just send it. But like, there's also the talk about sexual resiliency, which is like as we get older things change, like, The Daily did an episode on their podcast on a Sunday about having sex in your 70s and 80s. And I thought, I wonder how that is. And it's actually you, there's a lot of things you have to think about that you never ...Brad Crowell 24:00  She talked about pain and sex, (Lesley: Yeah) like, like, like she talked about... effectively, like breaking down the story that you that you grew up with. We talked about that a little bit, writing (Lesley: Yeah) it down. (Lesley: Yeah) You know, there's just so much (Lesley: Yeah) in there. (Lesley: It's great ...) She talked about, like, points in your life where you have less sex, (Lesley: Yeah) or points in your life we have more and that's okay.Lesley Logan 24:25  You know, I just heard Michelle Obama on Oprah. Michelle Obama was talking about, like, you know, her and Barack are like, working towards like being married for like, 40 plus years. Right? And, and she'd said, you know, like, Oprah asked her something about, like, hard, hard years in there. And she said, "If you were told the beginning of your marriage, you'll be married for 45 years, but eight of them will be awful, wouldn't you like, take those odds? Rather than like, like, be married to someone for eight years, and then it's awful and you quit?" And then like, you know, like, and then you go do it again and it gets like she just ... (Brad: Hmm interesting) Yeah. So like, it's, um, there are going to be years of your marriage that are going to be a little bit different. There's many years and where you're may or not even years, we're not exact, but there's periods of time. And it's about communication and it's about understanding yourself. And if you, if you keep going back to how you want to feel, I think that curiosity is going to help you articulate what you need, and at least explore as your body changes. And as you get older, and as your relationship changes, I think it's just really, really cool. So I really hope you enjoyed this. I also really, really hope that you share it. I know, it's weird to share a sex episode. Maybe you're feeling a little weird about that. But like, what if but like, maybe that's why you should, (Brad: Right) because truly, truly, like, if, if everybody had had a different upbringing around this, like, imagine where we'd be and where your confidence levels would be and where you're like, like, you know, like, I just think that it's, this is an important conversation for us all have. So, I am (Brad: Yep) grateful for her. If you want me to bring her back. You gotta let me know. (Brad: Yep) Share it, and then I'll be like, "Oh, we got to have her back." (Brad: Totally) So anyways, I'm Lesley Logan.Brad Crowell 26:06  And I'm Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 26:07  Thank you so much for joining us today. We're so grateful you're here. How are you going to use these tips in your life? (Brad: Yeah) Let us know by sending us a DM on the pod. See, it's private. You can send a DM and we'll catch you on the next episode.Brad Crowell 26:20  Bye for now.Lesley Logan 26:22  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.Brad Crowell 26:55  It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.Lesley Logan 27:06  Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.Brad Crowell 27:10  Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 27:19  Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can.Brad Crowell 27:31  And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.Transcribed by https://otter.aiSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Be It Till You See It
The Pink Hallway of Opportunity (ft. Brad Crowell) - Ep38

Be It Till You See It

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 7, 2021 26:10


Be It Till You See It does not mean overthink it, micromanage it, debate whether or not you're able of doing it and then taking action... Today Brad & Lesley recap the last episode's convo with Renee Dick. They cover acting now, thinking later, the pink hallway, and much more.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co .And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Brad's cactus obsessionAct now, think laterLiving vs not living in your purposeFinding your purposeIt may be easier to know what your purpose is NOTOpen all the doors in the hallway and then decideEpisode References/Links:• The Third Door by Alex BanayanIf you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookTik TokLinkedIn Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co hosts in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the hilarious convo I had with Renee Dick in our last episode.Brad Crowell  It was hilarious. (Lesley: It was...) I literally laughed out loud.Lesley Logan  She's so funny. If you haven't yet listened to interview, feel free to pause this now, go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. So you know, because it was so funny I'm going to say definitely do that this time.Brad Crowell  Oh, yeah, (Lesley: But then...) you should listen to it, (Lesley: Yeah) if you haven't.Lesley Logan  Oh, yeah, I think I think everything will make a lot more sense. She's just had so many gems. So anyways, that happened on Monday, Renee's episode came out, but this whole week has been week one of the #100withme challenge and I'm so freakin' stoked. It is fire. I mean, every time we do this challenge, it's always a lot of fun. But this particular one we have over 200 and I think it's like 215 people who've signed up, and they're epic. And they're all focusing so much on them, because the theme is "Me, Myself and I" and on habits and you know, we hit the day one on Sunday with like, "Aahhh" just like so much goodness. (Brad: Wait, what?) "Aahhh" (Brad and Lesley laughs) And it was so fun. It was our anniversary and some people who were also celebrating our anniversary, were there, people who were visiting Italy joined us on their vacation. (Brad: Yeah) It was just really cool ...Brad Crowell  Love that that's even an option!Lesley Logan  I know, I know me too. So you know we had so many but it's been it's week one and this is the fun week this is where there's a lot of excitement and motivation but this is also where I'm I'm working on troubleshooting with them what may or may not be working and how they create habits and so (Brad: Totally) this is my favorite part. And then, you know, it's what we, it's all the stuff that we're really proud of at OPC, the community and the support. So anyways, I just had to share that's what I'm excited about right now.Brad Crowell  Right now...Lesley Logan  Right now. (Brad laughs) Anyways ...Brad Crowell  Well, it is really it's a fun group. We have obviously we have more people in the challenge this time than we ever have which meant we had more people live in class than we've ever had and that was also really fun. Lots of dogs and you know babies and people in the background and all the things because I watch it while I'm you know making sure everything's happening right. And some fun questions at the end and great conversations during the hang so and then we have a, the Facebook group where everybody is on fire. It's like really cool. People (Lesley: Even though...) excited introducing themselves and meeting other people.Lesley Logan  Oh yeah, they're supporting each other, which is exactly what the group is for. Even though day day two, they didn't have access to that group it was (Brad laughs) but I you know, it was so crazy because like, of course people thought this is this who are our audiences. I'm sure this is you. If Facebook wasn't working, and we'd always people email us going, "My Facebook was hacked. I'm so sorry. I'm trying to figure it out, so I can't get back in" and we're like, "Nope, nope, not your problem. Not your fault." (Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell  Yeah, (Lesley: So...) everybody was down.Lesley Logan  I know. So anyways, even with that little hiccup, it's still a fiery group, and it is just so freakin' awesome. (Brad: Yeah) Anyways, um, Brad, did anyone send us a question?Brad Crowell  We did? Somebody apparently wanted me to talk more about cactuses because I'm so excited about them. (Brad laughs)Lesley Logan  Yeah. So, what is your favorite cactus?Brad Crowell  Well, okay, so I just wanted to say we moved here with no cactuses. (Lesley: Correct) I think, I think maybe we had one fake cactus that you brought that was sitting on the shelf forever. (Lesley laughs) Yeah, that was the only cactus we moved here with and today I ...Lesley Logan  ... a fake cactus. (Brad: Yeah. It was a fake) I put it in a pot. (Brad and Lesley laughs)Brad Crowell  Today, I think that between cactus and succulents. I don't know we have like 50 or 75 of them now, I'm like, clearly, I found something that that I should stop spending money on. (Brad laughs) But I really am excited we have ... I'm making the cactus garden that would never happen in real life, because it's cactuses from all over the world and in different climates and environments that need different types of watering and all the things ...Lesley Logan  He likes to make things difficult.Brad Crowell  I do not. (Lesley: Okay ...) I like to make things beautiful.Lesley Logan  But also, we have now been to many cactus gardens that around here.Brad Crowell  Yeah, we've been visiting cactus garden.Lesley Logan  And I think we may be in over our head. I'm just gonna say it here. I haven't said this to Brad. Some of these cactuses are really huge and they have lots of babies and they're not years old and our agave is having so many babies. We're about to like just spread the babies around the garden. And ...Brad Crowell  Well, that's why we have 50 or 75 because the agave have multiplied like like pumpkins, like it's hilarious.Lesley Logan  So, the ones it looks like boobs, what are those ones called, the booby one? (Brad: The barrel cactus.) Yes (Brad: Yeah) Yes, we have these barrel cactuses and I have been loving them since he moved to Las Vegas. But they come very small at the store like depressingly small and but all the small ones I've seen around the neighborhood seem like they're dying. And but the big ones are just so big and they're ... they're they're like frickin' fortunes. Right? In a cactus, and we had this opportunity to like, say yes to four. And he mentioned he's like, "Oh, yeah, it's like a barrel cactus like little babies on it." And I said, "Okay, that sounds so great." And then I came home after house shopping with my dad and (Brad laughs) these barrels are the size of boulders.Brad Crowell  They come up to your knees. (Lesley: Yeah) So like, and and I mean, probably 30 or 40 years old and our our guy brought us four of them. They're huge. It's amazing. I definitely love those. I think to be honest, my favorite, is the coral cactus. (Lesley: Really?) I love it. I just think it's crazy. I think it looks like it belongs underwater. And I want it to be 16 inches wide because that's what it apparently can grow to. There has been some debate on if you are allowed to say "cactuses" or if you're supposed to say "cacti." So for me, I looked it up, I just want to put this out there that apparently both are okay. Now, we can have that argument, slash conversations slash I'm just gonna say cactuses anyway...Lesley Logan  So you say cactuses or you say cacti.Brad Crowell   I kind of use them interchangeably but it ... cactuses seems to roll off the tongue a little easier.Lesley Logan  I agree. I think cacti feels like it feels like I should be in the lab. But you know what's really funny is we had a massive debate in our own company because I had Be It Till You See It with the apostrophe and one l. And it is not an apostrophe and one LBrad Crowell  It's not until (Lesley: it's not...) it's it's with the apostrophe t i l. It's actually t i l l is actually a word.Lesley Logan  If the own word (Brad: Who knew) and it's not a shortened. It's not like y'all, it's just, it's just it's own thing. So (Brad: It's just "Till") here we are in this podcast, (Brad laughs) helping you figure out words, the English language.Brad Crowell  Like we do. Anyway, thanks for that listener question. Any chance I get to talk about cacti - Oh, shoot, I went there - I'm in on that. And if you're ever in in the neighborhood, make sure we know it and I'm happy to show off our garden.Lesley Logan  If any of you know Emily's Garden Show. (Brad sings: Emily's Garden Show) I feel like Brad just has a hijacked a segment of my own podcast. (Brad and Lesley laughs) I'm calling ...Brad Crowell  It's Brad's cactus show.Lesley Logan  All right, so onto Renee Dick.Brad Crowell  Yes. All right. Let's talk about Renee. Renee Dick is the person that you want on your team. She is willing to be the first to try it, break it, build it, be it, paving the way for others. She ...Lesley Logan  That was a good song. Try it, break it, build it, print it, da na na na. Faster, Stronger, na na na na.Brad Crowell  Yeah, that's my favorite band. (Lesley: Oh) (Lesley laughs) That's Daft Punk. (Lesley: Oh) Ah, paving the way for others. She is a mom who has changed her path for being unhappy hairstylist to being a charismatic entrepreneur, helping others with repurposing content and social media marketing. You will literally laugh out loud at things she says and you will totally fell in love with her. And I'm sure that anybody out there who is looking for social media help, you know, contacting her would be really fun. Anyway, I'm not kidding. I listened to the episode twice and I was just laughing so hard. It's lovely.Lesley Logan  Yeah, it was I ... I re-listened to it and I laughed out loud because I had done some interviews so far from when they were actually like, played till like... Because you launch a podcast, you do all these things. And I was like, "Who said that? Was I talking to you? Who I was talking to?" And when Brad was listening to this, to produce it, he's like, "You were talking to Kareen," I was like, "Oh, that's right." (Lesley laughs) So anyways ...Brad Crowell  Yeah, when you when you said the ... habit or hustle versus hassle that was (Lesley: Yeah) that was the convo you had with Kareen ...Lesley Logan  ... Kareen in another podcast. Anyways, it's you can find that episode it's titled, "Don't let your hustle be a hassle." Brad Crowell  Yes, that was Episode 27.Lesley Logan  Yeah, we love her. Okay, so I had there's so many things I love that she said but I really I had to go with the "Act now think later" because y'all, Be It Till You See It does not mean overthink it, micromanage it, debate whether or not you're able of doing it and then taking action. No, it is Be It Till You See It is like, kiss... go just take some go for it. And then you'll have all this clarity and then you can decide what you want to do with what you just did. So, I loved that. What about you?Brad Crowell  The the thing that, it was interesting to listen to her talk about, she kind of skimmed over not not living in your purpose at the beginning of the episode. And she said like, "We can we can get into all that." But the reality is, "I just wasn't, and I wasn't happy." And she talked ... she the way she described herself. I found very relatable, because she was talking about how she couldn't be happy for other people, she was very negative all the time. Right? And she was just in this really this funk and ... the idea of living in your purpose, I thought ... I don't know, like, here's the here's the thing. She is clearly charismatic, right? So when you're ... when you're negative about everything, and you're charismatic, you will be in a position to inadvertently bring others down just by being you. Right? Because you have that same power to bring others up by being you and I'm so happy to have met Renee today, now when she's clearly living her purpose because she's just exuding joy and excitement about life then then before you know so (Lesley laughs) I'm just saying because it could she could ... I she has the I'm very similar, I have the propensity to be very dark, I have the propensity to affect the room, right? Really change the vibe and and so I know that for me when here's the thing I used to say, "I don't care what I do as long as it gets me paid," I literally used to say, "I would shovel shit from one corner of the room to another if it's going to pay my bills so I can go do the things that I want to do and and and I'll do it, I will I will make that happen" and I lived with that philosophy for the majority of my life and so consequently I was you know metaphorically shoveling shit from one corner to another for a very long time and now that I'm doing something that I actually want to be doing that I am enjoying doing that I know is affecting people in the way that I see is positive. Right? It makes me so much happier. So, I just wanted to say I think that the idea of living in your purpose like it's hard to ... if you don't know what your purpose is which is a big fat question mark you know was up for a long time for me as well, you know, if you're just going through the motions if you're just doing life, you know or your job or your gig or whatever it might be, you know it's okay to go explore something else and begin to identify what you might want to be doing instead.Lesley Logan  Yeah and then sometimes it's easier to not know, like to know what your purpose is not. So, like sorry ...Brad Crowell  Oh yeah, I see ... (Lesley: So if you ... ) Yeah, (Lesley: if you're like ...) Say that again, say that again.Lesley Logan  Yeah, I said it out I was like, "That's not it." (Brad laughs) So that definitely didn't work and so if you are like, "Ah guys I still, I get you, I want to live my purpose. How do I do that?" If you don't know yet what your purpose is, which I think deep down you might (it scares the fuck out of you.) Or you're just not sure you can see the big picture or how it's going to pay your bills or whatever. You can it's easy to know what your purpose is not. (Brad: Right) So, if you like have been selling houses and you're like, "This is, is (Brad: Is not lighting my fire) like shoveling shit from one to another." (Brad: Right) (Brad laughs) Then you can you can like go through all the things you do in a day and you can go, "Do I like any part of this? Oh, I really like talking to people." Cool. Now start signing yourself up for things where you talk to people and then you can start to go on the scale of like shoveling shit to this feels like a flow, you know ...Brad Crowell  Maybe maybe you shift to ice cream, instead.Lesley Logan  Yeah, yeah. (Brad laughs) So anyways, that's just the help the people who like are not sure I kind of fell into my purpose. I'm gonna be really honest. Like, I did not even know I could become a Pilates instructor. I have that limiting belief. And then the reason I coach people on business or they have an online classes, just because people ask me a question. They're like, "Hey, how do you get so many new clients? Hey, do you think you could have online classes?" And I got curious to go back to Tina Tang. And so maybe also now that I'm a verbal processor, maybe you look at the questions, people are asking you do for them and see if any of those light your fire.Brad Crowell  Yeah. (Lesley: All right) Episode 31. What? (Lesley: Yeah. What?) What?Lesley Logan  Okay!Brad Crowell  All right, so let's talk about all those BE IT action items. What bold, executable and trinsic or targeted action items, can we take away from your conversation with Renee Dick? She said something that I, I wanted to, I agree with her and I also have gone down this path. And so I want to kind of put a boundary on it. (Lesley: And asterisk) Yeah, she said, "Say yes to all opportunities." And I, I think that that's great when you are getting the ball rolling and you're trying to figure out your purpose maybe, or find something new that you want to do or grow your business or whatever. But I want to I want to say, comma "Quit things fast when you see that they're not doing it or they're not serving you or they're not you know, lighting your fire," (Lesley: Yeah) because what ends up happening is I feel obligated to follow through with things that I have, you know, committed to whatever it might be but maybe I shouldn't have actually committed to it in the first place. Right? So, I think actually maybe a better way of saying this is, "Say yes to the opportunity, but don't necessarily commit yet," until you decide if that's like you know, really the thing that you should be committing to because otherwise you'll end up juggling 75 plates, stressing yourself out, not being effective at all. Believe you me, I've done this, I've lost friends because of this, like this is a real possible thing where you just (Lesley: Oh) get so busy.Lesley Logan  That's definitely like it happens when you say, "Yes" and then you get down the path and you aren't honest early on that it's a "No" (Brad: Right) then yeah friendships are like, "Oh my God you've been doing this for two years with me. Why are you lying to me for two years but how much want to do it?" So, I agree with that. I definitely love to say in the very beginning I said yes to everything and I totally agree when you are new when you are she does the you know chapter one through five business owner, yes because you don't actually know what's going to work or not work for you and what you're gonna like and not like so just say yes to all that. But once you're past that chapter five you know something I do as I say, "Yes but can you send me the logistics so I just double check with my calendar and my team because I 100% double booked myself I don't wanna do that." And that is (Brad: Sure) really fun. It doesn't mean I'm gonna say no later on, so if you're listening to so I say this to you it's not like code for it's going to be a no it's just (Brad laughs) it's a buffer, it's a buffer for me just to make sure (A) the next day when I see those logistics it's still a yes and (B) it aligns with everything and then if I doesn't I have like, "Hey, you know what I'm so sorry I really want to say yes this but the day of it doesn't work for me or the timing of it doesn't work for me you know I got asked to do something recently," I was like, "Oh my God that sounds amazing." And I got the logistics back I was like, "Oh, I pictured something completely different" that's not their fault, that's my brain went like 10 steps ahead, 'cause I'm an ideas machine, and so thankfully, I was able to say, "You know what? This is actually not in alignment right now but let's circle back if you ever do it like this," therefore if people don't mind, people don't mind. Okay, well we just had our own BE IT action item on that one. That was like a little ... if you're talking about cactuses. It's like one of the babies. (Brad: Yeah, right.) ... Barrel cactus. I wish they had a visual for them. Okay, my biggest takeaway is, "Open all the doors in the hallway and then decide." I (Brad: Oh) really love the ...Brad Crowell  I think, I hijack yours. (Lesley: No) Well, I know but what I was talking about is very similar. (Brad laughs)Lesley Logan  That's so funny. She and the others guys, if you ...Brad Crowell  This is an amazing visual, though. I'll tell you.Lesley Logan  She, she, you have to listen to us because she really did explain like, "You get into the hallway and you ... there's all these doors and you're looking for the master suite. You're looking for this" and I was picturing like, big windows that look over an Italian, like I don't even know, winery, I don't drink wine, but just like views, right? And, I was just I was just going down the hallway and I have these tools. And it's true, like, I think we we talked about this in the podcast where it's like, "If the doors locked, it's because it's for a reason." There's ... amazing (Brad: Sure) of this book called "The Third Door" which I would love to get that author on here. If any of you know him, grab his, grab him. I want him. So, but he has a book called "The Third Door." And it's all about like, you know, Lady Gaga, all these different people how they made it. They didn't they didn't walk ... (Brad: Alex Banayan) Yeah, yeah. So like the idea is that, there's the line to get into the club that everyone stands in. And then there's the people who are VIP who walk up to the front line and they get in, and people are in the line or like waiting to get in. But then there's other people who like go in through the window, or go in through the alley or like ...Brad Crowell  Yeah, they come in with the owner in the back.Lesley Logan  Yeah, or they or they got a job there. And they were just singing at the bar, right, like so there's a third door and a lot of these people that we admire, they didn't go through the first two doors. They went the third door and so if a door is locked, it doesn't mean it's a no, it just means that that's not the door you go through. And so when she was doing this whole hallway thing, I was remembering that guy, and I was just saying this whole thing it's just like, ah, definitely open all the doors but what I love that she said is, "Open all the doors." She didn't say, "Move into the room with the bunk beds." (Brad: Right) Try it on for size!Brad Crowell  Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, like, say yes to all opportunities is like peek your head into the room, the door and be like, "Is this the right room?" (Lesley: Yeah) And then if it's not, you can be like, "Just kidding." Close ... (Lesley: Yeah) the next door, right? I was in the way that I was envisioning it when she was describing it was ... everything was pink, the hallway is pink, the doors are pink. There's just numbers on the doors. And like the it's like you're behind the set, like you're behind the scene, like the hallway itself isn't dressed up in fancy at all. And you're like, "They're just a bunch of doors that all look the same." And you're like, open, you're like, "Oh, that's not the master suite. That's the jungle," close. (Lesley laughs) Open the next one, "Oh, that's not the master suite. That's..." (Lesley: ... Jumanji) Yeah, we're in Jumanji now. (Brad laughs) But seriously, I loved the way she described that. Because it's it really is a, it's a great way to understand like, "Is this for me? Maybe not," close. Next.Lesley Logan  Yeah, I think that there's an overall, arching theme in her in her episode, which is just like, just like, "Just do the thing." Like, "Just get, just get to the place, just do ... just open the door. Just say yes." And all of that is because we get in our own way, when we're like, "Let me just stop and think about it." Like we start to think about the different failures we've had in the past. And the different times we haven't fallen through with things that different times that people said something not nice to us or whatever. And it's like none of those things are actually happening in this thing. And so the faster you act, and the faster you go through these things, the quicker you're able to get to the master suite, the quicker you're able to get to the place that where your purpose is because you're not overthinking it and clouding it with stuff that didn't even happen in that situation. So anyway, I don't know. Maybe that's not her purpose ...Brad Crowell  No. I think that's a that's a great way to to to describe it. (Lesley: Summing it up) Oh, yeah, it's a great way to wrap it up. We're gonna leave it there.Lesley Logan  All right. I'm Lesley Logan.Brad Crowell  And I'm Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan  Thank you so much for joining us today. We're so grateful you're here. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Let us know by sending a DM on Instagram at the @be_it_pod and we'll catch you on the next episode.Brad Crowell  Bye now.Lesley Logan  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review, and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!Lesley Logan  'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.Brad Crowell  It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan  Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.Brad Crowell  Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan  Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.Brad Crowell  And the Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Agency Exposed Podcast
Ep 33: Why do People Hate Working for Agencies? With guest Taylor Watt

Agency Exposed Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 12, 2020 52:09


Summary: Today’s episode we’re diving into the various experiences of Agency culture with guest Taylor Watt, Marketing Manager at Metacake. After changing lanes from teaching to advertising, she began working for a large agency with a long history and big name. The experience wasn’t pleasant, to say the least, and after a tumultuous learning curve she found her place at Metacake. Today we’re talking about Taylor’s experience of working for two totally different companies doing somewhat similar work, the company culture has impacted her performance and life in general.   Top 3 Curtain Pulls in this episode:  Employees don’t have to feel fear in order to be productive! Give your employees a healthy, stable, respectful and encouraging environment and the results will come back to you tenfold.  Healthy Leadership is evident from the outside, and healthy culture is intentional. Everyone will feel the result- you, your employees, AND your clients! Human relationships should be the priority, with the work being secondary. If your team doesn’t feel respected by leadership at a basic level, feedback won’t be received in a way that is constructive and supportive.    About Our Guest:  Taylor Watt is the Marketing Manager at Metacake, running marketing both strategically for clients as well as Metacake’s internal marketing. She has her hands in every Metacake project- from content creation to strategy for Metacake’s YouTube channel. She is passionate, kind, funny, and incredible at her job, truly invaluable to the Metacake team- she also has a really cute dog and makes a mean stack of pancakes.    For more tips, discussion, and behind the scenes: Follow us on Instagram @AgencyPodcast Join our closed Facebook community for agency leaders   About The Guys:  Bob Hutchins: Founder of BuzzPlant, a digital agency that he ran from from 2000 -2017. He is also the author of 3 books. More on Bob:  Bob on LinkedIn twitter.com/BobHutchins instagram.com/bwhutchins Bob on Facebook Brad Ayres: Founder of Anthem Republic, an award-winning ad agency. Brad’s knowledge has led some of the biggest brands in the world. Originally from Detroit, Brad is an OG in the ad agency world and has the wisdom and scars to prove it. Currently that knowledge is being applied to his boutique agency. More on Brad: Brad on LinkedIn Anthem Republic twitter.com/bradayres instagram.com/therealbradayres facebook.com/Bradayres Ken Ott: Co-Founder and Chief Growth Rebel of Metacake, an Ecommerce Growth Team for some of the world’s most influential brands with a mission to Grow Brands That Matter. Ken is also an author, speaker, and was nominated for an Emmy for his acting on the Metacake Youtube Channel (not really). More on Ken:  Ken on LinkedIn Metacake - An Ecommerce Growth Team Growth Rebel TV twitter.com/iamKenOtt instagram.com/iamKenOtt facebook.com/iamKenOtt   Show Notes: [3:15] The Guys introduce Taylor Watt, Marketing Manager at Metacake.  [3:33] Taylor: “I grew up in Nashville, I went to a little Christian college called Lee University… My roommate was in advertising and I was always so envious that her work seemed exciting and more passionate… so I made the switch last minute and spent a little extra time at Lee and got my advertising degree.” She got a job right out of school at a big agency in Nashville and the experience was not great, but eventually moved on and found Metacake. “I’m so grateful I switched majors and that I get to do the work that I do.”  [5:28] Bob asks: “At the big agency, what was the expectation that was going on?”  [5:41] Taylor responds: In college, the expectation in advertising is that you’ll get a great job at a big agency, work hard and make big money. Fast paced, working with lots of clients, trendy office setting… those expectations were set and fulfilled by the agency life.  [6:30] Brad asks: “What was the first sign that made you say ‘Hey I’m not going to like this?’” [6:37] Taylor: “Well I didin’t really know what to expect, this is the first big girl job that I had, but you’d think that an agency that had been running for decades, that there would be some sort of formal training. There is no formal training.”  Taylor shares that there was zero guidance with extremely high expectations from your management. Long hours were expected, so she stayed late every day to try and keep up with the expectations.  She never made plans after work because of this, and the year and half of working there was made even more difficult as a result. [7:45] Brad: “What would happen if you just told them you had to leave? What if you had kids, were they flexible with that?” [7:57] Taylor: “The people with kids would just leave, but I think it’s like if you’re young and single, it’s kind of expected that you’ll stay. I’m very submissive by nature, so I would just keep my head down.” [8:20] Taylor that she had no trouble with trying hard, with working hard. The company didn’t provide laptops, so working late at home wasn’t an option. They offered laptops to check out but the technology was old, no cloud saving or easy access. This made the late night mandatory.  [10:00] Brad talks about it’s common for old agencies that have been around for a while to still be doing things the same way they’ve always done them. There is a culture that this is the way things are and they’re not going to change, are not possible to change, because this is the way it’s been for decades.  [11:15] Brad asks: “Do you feel like your coworkers had the same experiences?”  [11:30] Taylor: “Yes I think everyone else had the same experience and concerns… there were five of us all about the same experience level… I think everybody had the mindset that you just had to prove yourself and eventually work your way up.” She did confide in management and ask if things were normal, if this was the way things normally happened. Sick days weren’t really days off or sick days, you were still expected to work.  [12:15] Ken: Talks about how working hard and “paying your dues” isn’t necessarily a bad thing- there is a certain amount of experience necessary to be totally trusted. The process of going through fire is an experience and it’s good for you! But poor leadership through that process is what’s messed up and is more dysfunctional than it is intentionally difficult at certain stages.  [13:20] Taylor speaks about how a lack of kindness and respect breeds an environment of fear, and that’s not a healthy place for anybody to be.  [16:00] Brad discusses his experience as a single owner of his business. It’s challenging to not let the stress and fear of everything falling apart get to you and create more trouble than is necessary. He shares that he once had a boss tell him “Brad, it’s just advertising,” and that has stuck with him through times of stress and steep learning curves.  [18:33] Taylor talks about one pitfall at the big agency she worked for- “It was so big and the team is so big and there were no systems and processes.” When things went wrong she was very hard on herself but in reality she was sort of set up for failure and lack of guidance.  She speaks about how different it is at Metacake. There are systems and processes for everything, a project manager that everyone is in touch with and everyone is very transparent about their daily tasks and work. This provides accountability and gives peace of mind so everyone can know that no balls are going to be dropped.  Aside from that, “It’s just a pleasant place to be, also it’s an inspiring place to be.”  [22:30] Brad asks “If you need to take correction from a boss, what is the best way to correct without diminishing your confidence and spirit?” The Guys discuss previous experience of negative feedback from a boss, Taylor shares a story about a boss that spoke unkindly to her via the team Slack channel so everybody could see. When she confronted this boss, there was an aggressive response in return and it was very discouraging to her.  [37:21] Taylor speaks on receiving criticism or feedback- she always goes to the compliment sandwich. Start with the way they are doing something well, then give the criticism with suggestions on how to improve, and follow up with another soft compliment. That way the employee doesn’t feel attacked or discouraged, but lifted up and respected.  “I think young people need to learn how to take correction and not let it just destroy them. And you need to humble yourself and that’s how you learn.”  She speaks on corrections given by Ken. “It never hurts. It’s always like ‘Oh well I feel kind of dumb, but I’ll go fix it,’”  [39:25] Brad: “Is that because you know his heart and you know that no matter what he does, he’s for you?” It’s really about the intent and the care, the work relationship where you know you’re cared for and supported and that someone has your back.  [40:38] Bob speaks on how our work does not define us as human beings. This mindset and belief about life creates subtle difference in the way that we interact with each other, and the results of this environment are felt immediately  [42:00] The Guys talk about how the biggest pitfall for many agencies is the breakdown in the team relationship- in doing the work, it can be easy to forget the human element, which results in an environment of fear and high pressure with little reward.

Breaking Down Your Business | Small Business | Business Owners | Entrepreneurship | Leadership

What’s In This Episode: Brad: Welcome to Breaking Down Your Business, episode 363. You can find the show notes for this episode on breakingdownyourbusiness.com/363. Brad: Hey there, Jill. Jill, you're on mute. The button on the lower left, the one that looks like a mike- Jill: Hello. Brad: There you go. There you go. Jill: Hello. Brad: There you go. Jill: Can you hear me? Brad: I can hear you now. Yeah. Jill: Oh my gosh. What is going on with technolgy? Brad: Is this the way we start every meeting now, six times a day I have this conversation.

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MBOT Radio
Brad Butt - The Political Wrap Up

MBOT Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 9, 2020 10:19


The Information during the COVID crisis comes at a furious speed and the person fielding this steady stream Is Brad Butt. Brad Is the Vice President of Stakeholder and Government Relations for the Mississauga Board of Trade and he joins us today to give us the Coles notes version of what has taken place at the municipal, provincial and federal levels of government. Welcome Brad

Agency Exposed Podcast
Ep 12: Finding the Good in the Virus (Part 1): How will your business survive (and thrive) through Coronavirus?

Agency Exposed Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 18, 2020 60:15


Summary: We talk about "disruption" in business all the time, but we rarely expect disruption to come from the external. The population's reaction to Coronavirus / COVID-19 has disrupted everything including business. Some businesses are being affected in immediate ways, and others will see lagging affects, but no business is immune. Regardless, we know that seasons will come and go. Winter will always come, it will be hard, but the shedding will produce fruit IF we adapt appropriately. In this special episode we unpack how we are seeing the effects of Coronavirus in our businesses and how we are processing dealing with them.    Resources Mentioned:  Ford vs Ferrari (Available on Amazon Prime) Remote - Office Not Required by Jason Fried (Founders of Basecamp ) A 4 Step Leadership Framework for Making Healthy Decisions Not Based in Fear Slack: https://slack.com/ Basecamp: https://basecamp.com  Zoom: https://zoom.us/ Dropbox: www.dropbox.com   Top 3 Curtain Pulls in this episode: Radically recognize that your business WILL be affected from this situation in some way. The sooner we accept this fact, the sooner we can go from reacting and surviving to responding and thrivin in this experience (this applies to all times in life, not just a global pandemic).  Slack Basecamp Dropbox Zoom Maximize your team’s work-from-home productivity with systems and processes, then of course the tools that we all use and love:  It is vital to seek out balance between what we can control and what we can’t. Don’t live life in fear. Commit to live in abundance and adapt.   About The Guys:  Bob Hutchins: Founder of BuzzPlant, a digital agency that he ran from from 2000 -2017. He is also the author of 3 books. More on Bob:  Bob on LinkedIn twitter.com/BobHutchins instagram.com/bwhutchins Bob on Facebook Brad Ayres: Founder of Anthem Republic, an award-winning ad agency. Brad’s knowledge has led some of the biggest brands in the world. Originally from Detroit, Brad is an OG in the ad agency world and has the wisdom and scars to prove it. Currently that knowledge is being applied to his boutique agency. More on Brad: Brad on LinkedIn Anthem Republic twitter.com/bradayres instagram.com/therealbradayres facebook.com/Bradayres Ken Ott: Co-Founder and Chief Growth Rebel of Metacake, an Ecommerce Growth Team for some of the world’s most influential brands with a mission to Grow Brands That Matter. Ken is also an author, speaker, and was nominated for an Emmy for his acting on the Metacake Youtube Channel (not really). More on Ken:  Ken on LinkedIn Metacake - An Ecommerce Growth Team Growth Rebel TV twitter.com/iamKenOtt instagram.com/iamKenOtt facebook.com/iamKenOtt   Show Notes: [0:35] Bob mentions the Coroniavirus (Covid-19) and refers to his recent article. “We talk a lot about disruption, right… this disruption is coming from the outside that we have no control over this time… It’s not Facebook being disruptive or Apple being disruptive… Let’s discuss how we’re being affected by it, by our clients that are being affected by it.” [2:13] “Anytime you’re disrupted by anything, it’s hard but it causes you to adapt and that ultimately is a good thing. And so how are we doing that?” [2:16] Bob: “How are we learning from this? This is a huge lesson that we are being given whether we like it or not.” [2:24] Brad: “Is this a gift? Is that what you’re saying?”  [2:41] Bob: “I know that there’s the reality of people dying in pain and there’s a lot of negative things that go along with it. But when it’s all said and done… I think we’ll look back and say wow the Coronavirus was the end of… fill in the blank. And those are the things maybe that we can learn from this and adapt as well.” [4:32] Ken speaks on the widespread business effects of the virus- tourism, music, restaurants, etc- “But in our world, the agency world, we often operate in the digital world… but our clients maybe not right? So that’s why we’re here today- to talk about we as agency owners can help other businesses that are being affected… And then the other area that might be interesting is Are we being affected right now?” [5:04] Ken speaks on how it’s important to understand that just because you work in the digital world, or just because you can go remote quickly or easily doesn’t mean that you won’t be impacted. It’s important as a business leader that you are looking ahead. “If we’re not looking ahead, that’s probably very naive and unwise. And so today we want to sort of looking ahead to that.” [5:44] Brad gives his take and the way his business is being impacted. “I think within the next week or so I’ll begin seeing some immediate effects.”  Currently he can feel some clients scrambling to make changes, to prepare for what is to come. They want to ensure that their business is able to survive, but if that survival include financial cuts in the coming months, how will that impact his business relationship with them?  Brad is asking himself questions about their busienss model- What time of year is their revenue strongest? Is this going to hurt that period of time or the work that we have forecasted for them down the road?  Many scenarios could be played out, but ultimately “Everybody seems to be on a day by day basis.” [8:00] Brad: “Its really hard to manage a business when you don’t know what tomorrow may look like… it’s a challenging time for clarity. It’s a major challenge for me because I have to be reactive. And I don’t like being reactive, I like being proactive. And there’s a certain level of, you just have to trust that humans are going to figure this out.” [9:51] Brad: “I don’t fear for my life, but I fear that I could pass it on to somebody else.”  [10:13] Brad speaks on other financial happenings that will eventually impact every business, regardless of your exposure. The stock market tanking is one example. [11:32] “I feel like if you could take the financial crash of 2008- 2009 and mix that with Y2K, add some bird flu, add some swine flu… you got this perfect storm.” [11:46] Bob reflects on the panic surrounding Y2K in the 90’s and relating the very real fear of specific impacts versus the panic about planes falling out of the air and people getting stuck in elevators. This is similar, with people stockpiling toilet paper and creating a panic around that. People have been arrested for claiming to have a cure for the Coronavirus.  “As you walk that middle ground to try to parse what is real and what is not, how do you live above it all?”  [14:00] Bob asks: “How do I learn from this as a business? How do I survive and not just follow the herd?” Bob shares about Ford vs Ferrari, a movie about Henry Ford and how a large group uniting over common interest led to an intense, fast period of innovation that disrupted an entire industry, all because one man decided it could happen. This is the way that humanity will step up to tackle the vaccination process for Covid-19.  [16:29] Ken speaks on accepting the reality of the situation and not being resistant to your business changing. Radical acceptance of having NO control or clarity on life is a journey and process that builds strength and resistance to the pains of life over time.  [20:39] Ken: “The biggest challenge [with older, traditional clients] is cracking through the mindset that this is just how it works. We can’t change… if you’re in that mindset, you’re probably going to be disrupted by this and you will not get out of it until you change that mindset.”  So acceptance is first, then gaining energy out of it is second. Be energized by the fact that now we have to innovate. A lot of good things come in winter, and this is a winter for a lot of people. There is going to be a shedding of things, and space for new growth.  [24:00] Brad: “I don’t think we give ourselves enough credit as humans, we can figure things out pretty quickly if we need to… like in that movie you were talking about Bob, he probably wasn’t focused on the time constraints, just on focused on the end result.” Brad provides assurance for new agency owners who may be experiencing their first real challenge as a business owner- we will all get through this. We are being sharpened and although that is painful, you will come out wiser for this experience. [30:35] Ken speaks on the importance of project management tools, to get your workforce at home and safe if possible.  Basecamp for Project Management Communication Slack for messaging internally, as well as about specific clients or internal projects Zoom for video conferencing calls Dropbox for large files [34:05] Brad mentions GoToMeeting, his company is very comfortable with that as a video call resource. [35:00] Brad speaks about planning for future projects in your own business. “Just be really thoughtful financially about where you are… every business you’re deciding your next step and what you’re going to invest in… prioritize what’s important in the long run. Also: How do we leverage time? How do we see this as an opportunity to leverage this time in our business?” How do you figure out how to not only survive, but thrive in the midst of this chaos? [36:04] Ken mentions resources on getting the most out of working from home, including a boo written by the creators of Basecamp.  [38:00] Bob asks “What are some things you guys know you are going to throw away during this time, and how are you trying to thrive through this?” [39:45] Ken: “We’re considering how to offer genuine help in genuine ways to businesses that are actually affected… so we’re considering… retail vs online… we may be offering some support for no charge for a little bit.” Perhaps some businesses who didn’t have an online presence prior to this could try during this time to transition over. This won’t be the case for all, but some businesses might view this as an opportunity to diversify.  [42:59] Bob: “I think there’s going to be a huge boom in virtual reality through this… we may be forced at home in our cocoons, but we have eyes to see more than ever before.”  [45:34] Brad reflects on technology and the speed of communication having an impact on this situation: “Is it the actual virus or is it the information that is actually traveling faster? You only realize it when something like this happens, just how deeply entwined we are with everyone these days… supply chains in china are impacting our direct daily lives here.”  [46:41] Brad: “We try not to drive our businesses out of fear, right? But the reality is, is that when stuff like this happens, you realize how much out of control we all kind of are in our businesses that we do have to be reactive.”  [49:50] Bob talks about how there is a fine line between benefiting from a terrible thing and being opportunistic, but also balancing the reality that we are all humans and all interconnected. It’s important to keep clarity on that fact in the distance as we make day by day decisions that have a rippling impact.  [52:56] Ken speaks on balance.  Some personalities almost seem to enjoy adversity, because they know that there is immense growth at their fingertips. But having the self control to step back and keep the human element alive in your process of not only surviving but thriving is so important.  Being forced to look yourself in the mirror during these times of stress often brings revelation and growth. Because every other businessperson on the planet is experiencing the same thing, there is an incredible sense of beauty about this time as well. 

Beyond Caring Podcast
Episode 38 – Brad Is Dense

Beyond Caring Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 12, 2018


For the zero people who felt cheated by the lack of Beyond Caring for a couple weeks, the Adams deliver a mega episode. Adam talks about FFXV while not realizing that they’re recording. Eventually they get on the massive Westworld backlog that they have, which is pretty much episodes 5-9. Adam has notes. Lots of … Continue reading Episode 38 – Brad Is Dense →

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Beyond Caring Podcast
Episode 16 – Brad Is Inscrutable

Beyond Caring Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 12, 2018


Adam and Adam are back to talk board games! First Adam tells a bar story, but then they start by talking about how they got into hobbyist board games back in the day before moving onto the recommendations. Interspersed are some meta-discussions of Ameritrash and Eurogames, Kickstarter, and getting new players into the hobby. Games … Continue reading Episode 16 – Brad Is Inscrutable →

Beyond Caring Podcast
Episode 38 – Brad Is Dense

Beyond Caring Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 12, 2018


For the zero people who felt cheated by the lack of Beyond Caring for a couple weeks, the Adams deliver a mega episode. Adam talks about FFXV while not realizing that they're recording. Eventually they get on the massive Westworld backlog that they have, which is pretty much episodes 5-9. Adam has notes. Lots of … Continue reading Episode 38 – Brad Is Dense →

adams westworld dense ffxv beyond caring brad is
Bearly on Topic: The Boston Bruins Podcast
Episode 7: It's A Brad Brad Brad World

Bearly on Topic: The Boston Bruins Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2015 84:01


Yeah, Marchy is really good, we talked about him for a long time. Would you rather have Eriksson or Brad? Is there a way to keep them both? Are Brad and Bergeron brothers? What are we drinking this week while the Bruins take a holiday break? Find out on Bearly on Topic