Podcasts about OPC

In this episode of Christ the Center, Camden Bucey welcomes Adam York and Randy Lee back to the Reformed Forum classroom for the second part of a conversation on global theological education and OPC foreign missions. Whereas the previous discussion focused especially on Uganda and faith-centered finance, this episode turns to York's recent teaching trip to Ethiopia and the biblical-theological material he taught on the Gospels and Acts. The conversation traces major themes from John 1:51 and Jacob's ladder to Matthew's genealogy, Jesus as true Israel, the Sermon on the Mount, the parables of the kingdom, Peter's confession, Matthew 24–25, the Great Commission, and the book of Acts. Along the way, York shows how the hope of heaven opened in Christ, the end of exile, the gift of the Spirit, and the church's missionary calling all belong together in the unfolding work of the risen and ascended Lord. Participants Camden BuceyAdam YorkRandy Lee Resources mentioned Hope Orthodox Presbyterian ChurchOPC Foreign MissionsOPC Short-Term MissionsReformed Academy

In this Fuck Yeah Friday episode, Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach, rolls out a fresh take on the FYF format, you can name what is hard and still claim a win in the same breath. She shares the messy reality behind working for yourself, celebrates listener wins, and reflects on fostering her first dog solo during a packed travel season. It is a short, energizing reminder that a hard moment and a real win can live side by side. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:The revamped FYF format pairs an honest hard moment with a win.Lesley's need a moment about recording her own episodes.How a Lesley's win proves the busy schedule excuse doesn't hold.Getting rid of internet inspiration that isn't inspiring right now.Celebrating the interview process instead of waiting to get the job.Episode References/Links:@meganslatteryyogaandpilates - https://www.instagram.com/meganslatteryyogaandpilates@mymarialoisa - https://www.instagram.com/mymarialoisaSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  It's Fuck Yeah Friday. Brad Crowell 0:01  Fuck yeah. Lesley Logan 0:02  Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 0:48  Hey, Be It Babe, welcome to our Friday episode. And this is our FYF episode, our fuck yeah. It's Friday, and Brad and I decided that we wanted to make some changes to the FYF episode, and one of those things is we're incorporating more of what we do in our communities, like we do with our agency members and our Elevate grads and our Elevate members, which is just you're allowed to need a moment, but you have to have a win in the exact same moment. So you can't come in here and all over everybody with your need a moment, you have to actually have a win to go with it, right? So that's how we're going to do that. I'll have, or Brad will have, or we'll get some guests to have when we want to complain about, and then they'll have a win, and then we'll share your wins that you send in telling that, and then if you want, I guess you could also send in your I need a moment and your wins. Lesley Logan 1:30  So here's my I need a moment, because it's happening right now. My internet is freaking amazing, it's amazing, I have the best internet, and when I come into my pod room, I'll have the best internet, and then I hit record, and it's like, actually, your internet's crap in this moment. Now it's crap, and it's just so annoying, because it's like, well, I only have one hour to do this thing, and I'm spending 17 minutes trying to figure out why my great internet is bad in this one spot at this one moment. That's my first world problems right now. My win is that I've been able to start doing something I've been wanting to do, which is foster dogs, which is not easy to do, because I have a dog, not easy to do, because I love them, and I want to keep them all, all the dogs, and also I travel a ton. And so back in April into May, I got to foster my first dog, and I did it by myself, which is really cool, because I have always had dogs, but I've had dogs with family or partners, and so it's just there's someone else who can do the thing with the dog. And so for nine days I was responsible for a dog by myself, and not a small dog, like a big one, and so my win is that I nailed it. I did everything I could to get this dog adopted, a family to be seen as just this wonderful addition to anyone's family, and I had the best time, all while keeping with my crazy busy schedule. So, you know what that means? It means we all can do this. So, anyway, that's my win.Lesley Logan 2:56  Now, for our next segment, we got rid of the inspiration from the internet, because I'll just be really honest, the internet is not very inspiring right now. So, your wins, here we go. We got two from you guys. @meganslatteryyogaandpilates said, hosting second soft launch in my house/home studio/big sale today. Tired, but doing it. And it's like, yeah, look, here's the deal. Working for yourself does not mean it's easy. I don't know why people think that if it's hard they must be doing it wrong. No, if it's hard and you're tired, you're probably doing it pretty darn good. Now you know you got to sleep and do some other things, but it's possible. Lesley Logan 3:30  Okay, next win is by @mymarialoisa. Interview for my dream job and sign up for the OPC training. Ah, that's so fun. We had such a good time with that training, so super, super proud about that. And I'm so glad that you got to join us, and that was one of your wins, and you got to interview for your dream job. You know what, I love that you celebrated the interview process, Maria Luisa, because so many people would just celebrate, like, wait for them to get the job, or then have a moment, because they might not have, but you celebrated the interview. Yeah, that's how we be it till we see it, babes. That is how we do it.Lesley Logan 4:05  And then we end our FYFs with a mantra. So here we go. And the win is not that my internet is great right now. That is not it. The mantra is not, I have great internet. Here's what it is, self love comes to me naturally. Self love comes to me naturally, self love comes to you naturally, Be it babe. Yes it does. Yes, it does. And if it doesn't, you just say that 17 times until you believe it, until you do it, because thoughts are not facts, but since so many of us make them, then change your thoughts, so you can change your facts, and self-love will come to you naturally. Lesley Logan 4:40  All right, babe. That's our episode for this Friday. We keep them short and sweet. If you want something longer and you want something to be more in depth, make sure you're checking out our series that we're releasing every other week, and our interviews and recaps. We've got lots of good stuff for you. We also have some really fun things we're highlighting when it comes to our recap special. So ways for you to get involved and help, because sometimes it feels like we're not doing enough, right? You might be like, oh, she fostered a dog, what am I doing? Well, listen to the recap episodes, because we highlight a charity that you too can work with. So until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 5:13  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 5:55  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 6:00  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 6:05  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 6:12  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 6:15  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this recap, Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell unpack the deeper implications of Adrian Starks' conversation on purpose, grief, and the resistance that comes from fighting your own path. They explore how purpose isn't something you find, but something you actively build, and why the attempt to force alignment often backfires. The episode tackles the unglamorous realities of change, self-reflection, and what happens when perfection gets in the way of progress. Whether you're struggling with imposter syndrome or questioning your direction, this conversation invites you to reclaim agency over your own story. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:How supporting LGBTQ+ communities strengthens your own alignment and values.The importance of taking control of your purpose before it gets defined for you.Why the more effort you put into controlling something, the more it slips through your fingers.How self-reflection reveals when you're outgrowing something or being called into something newImposter syndrome shows up when you're going against the grain of your purpose.Episode References/Links:OPC for 40 days for $40 - opc.me/40eLevate 2028 Waitlist - lesleylogan.co/elevateOPC Flashcards - opc.me/flashcardsSummer Tour (Powered by Balanced Body) - opc.me/tourPrism Foundation - arprismfoundation.orgAdrian Starks Website - https://adrianstarks.comEp 191. with Adrian Starks - https://beitpod.com/ep191100 Acts of Love by Kim Hamer - https://a.co/d/0dugkBGkEp 244 with Kim Hamer - https://beitpod.com/ep244Ep 235 with Krista St-Germain - https://beitpod.com/ep235Ep. 688 Outgrowing Series 1 - https://beitpod.com/ep688 Ep. 689 Outgrowing Series 2 - https://beitpod.com/ep689Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Brad Crowell 0:00  We think purpose is just going to find us, and we're gonna be like, "Oh my god, that's what I'm here for, that's the thing," right? Instead, what clearly seems actionable is purpose is something that we are out there doing, and whether or not we chose to do it, we're still out there doing it.Lesley Logan 0:21  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:04  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap, where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the purposeful convo I had with Adrian Starks in our last episode. You know what, I think that's what we said the first time he was on, because his podcast is all about being purposeful, so if you haven't yet listened to that interview, you can pause this and go listen to that one.Brad Crowell 1:23  What is he like? 190-something?Lesley Logan 1:26  It was like 151. Brad's gonna look it up and... and you can then come back and listen to this one, or you can listen to this one, because we chat about a bunch of stuff, and then our favorite things. And then you can go listen to the amazing one, because you have all the choice in this world. You get to do what you want to do, and we got to meet a bunch of you amazing podcast listeners when we were in Arizona the other day.Brad Crowell 1:46  It was 191.Lesley Logan 1:47  191Brad Crowell 1:48  Yes, I can't believe.Lesley Logan 1:50  Wow, nailed it.Brad Crowell 1:51  I did.Lesley Logan 1:52  I don't even know. You must have cheated. You must have seen it.Brad Crowell 1:55  I heard it in the episode.Lesley Logan 1:56  You heard it in the episode.Brad Crowell 1:59  Because I went back and listened to it. Lesley Logan 2:00  I was like I love you, but there's no way you came up with that on your own. Anyways, we met a bunch of listeners at the POT Arizona last month.Brad Crowell 2:10  We sure did.Lesley Logan 2:11  I love that you love the pod, and also I heard that people are loving the solo episodes. If that's the case, please leave a review and tell me what you want me to talk about. Also, another way you can support this show is to become an OPC member, because when you're an OPC member, that money also supports this podcast. Just be honest, so the best thing you can do is to go be a member of OPC. One, you actually get extra stuff out of it. If you like these little pep talks that I do on the podcast that are solo, at the end of every one of my classes, I give you a little pep talk. It's not a mantra, but it's something close. So you can go to opc.me/40, and then you can join OPC for 40 days for $40, and then you can see how great we are. Okay, today is June 25, 2026. It's Bourdain Day.Brad Crowell 3:00  It's Bourdain Day, and this is.Lesley Logan 3:02  A quote from Mr. Anthony Bourdain: "If I'm an advocate for anything, it's to move as far as you can, as much as you can, across the ocean or simply across the river, walk in someone else's shoes, or at least eat their food. It's a plus for everybody." Anthony Bourdain backed up his words with action, all the while urging us to do a lot more than simply try new foods in exotic places with fascinating strangers. He desperately wanted us to break out of our comfort zones and see the world in person through the eyes of people we would never otherwise meet. Watching his TV shows, first No Reservations, and then Parts Unknown, enabled us to spend time with the real-life explorer who trotted around the world in search of, well, the things that make us all human: food, yes, but also love, spirit, and passion. Bourdain, who suffered from depression, took his own life in 2018 at the age of 61. "Anthony was my best friend," tweeted French chef and close friend Eric Ripert at the time. "Exceptional human being, so inspired and generous." Ripert, along with another longtime friend, José Andrés, who does some amazing work in this world, declared June 25, Bourdain's birthday, Bourdain Day in 2019. So, if you are thinking of suicide, or worried about a friend, or in need of emotional support, the Lifeline Network is available 24/7 across the US. Call 800-273-8255. I think there's also a short number, I feel like there's a short number that you can call, but we had a dear friend.Brad Crowell 4:20  You can call 988 in the United States.Lesley Logan 4:22  Thank you. Yeah, yeah, who worked with a suicide prevention network in Nevada. And life's really hard right now. It's harder than people think. You look at people and they seem to have it all together, and they don't. A lot of people are tired, a lot of people have a lot going on. So reach out to a friend you haven't heard from or talked to in a while. You just never know. You might help them out, but also make sure you have these numbers, because there are people who are experts who can also support.Brad Crowell 4:49  Yeah.Lesley Logan 4:50  Upcoming travel, Brad, predict this, because what, go ahead, Brad.Brad Crowell 4:54  Yeah, Anthony Bourdain was very inspirational for me. He was living the travel bug that I always had, and when I was in college, my friend and I used to watch his show every single week, No Reservations. I just loved that he was so angry at his producers in that show, and he would get so pissed about cursing and smoking cigarettes on TV. I guess it wasn't live, but on TV, and then.Lesley Logan 5:23  They could just edit it out.Brad Crowell 5:24  hey could have edited it out, but they didn't. Yeah, it just was really inspirational for me. And then he did some amazing stuff too. He was in Beirut when that.Lesley Logan 5:36  Yes! And then also, don't forget his wonderful documentary about food waste.Brad Crowell 5:40  Yeah, food waste.Lesley Logan 5:41  If you haven't seen it, you must see it.Brad Crowell 5:43  It's called Wasted!Lesley Logan 5:44  I think it's called Wasted!Brad Crowell 5:45  Yeah.Lesley Logan 5:45  We actually watched it, and the next day he died by suicide.Brad Crowell 5:48  Yeah.Lesley Logan 5:49  That was really tragic, and that documentary stuck with me. So it's really, really important, because we all need to be aware. In certain countries, they're doing a much better job about food waste than we are. Go Japan! You were commenting from the documentary, so yeah, for me.Brad Crowell 6:03  It was amazing because I never was a chef, but he worked in the food industry, I worked in the food industry, and I got his book Kitchen Confidential when I was in my early 20s. I just thought he was amazing. So, yep, in honor of Anthony Bourdain, and as Lesley was mentioning, if you or anyone you know is suffering with suicidal thoughts, there is support out there for you.Lesley Logan 6:28  Yeah.Brad Crowell 6:29  Yeah.Lesley Logan 6:29  In other news, there are no spots left in Elevate. Every single week in the last few weeks that you've heard that there are spots was a lie.Brad Crowell 6:37  They are sold out.Lesley Logan 6:40  For 2027 anyways. We are already taking applications for 2028. We'll be able to let you snag your spot and reserve it, and all that stuff. But we're going to have a wonderful Q&A call this summer on July 9, I believe it's at 1 PM Pacific time. You can go to lesleylogan.co/elevate to get on the waitlist. We'll have that call information, and you can register for the call. Oh, I should do ll.co/waitlist. Actually, sorry, my producer is doing this in real time, everyone. Anyways, what I want you to do is get on that waitlist, because I do update you monthly on when we have dates and when we're accepting applications, and when you can deposit. I know that 2028 will fill up as soon as we open up those applications, but that means you have a whole year-plus to protect those dates like your life once I figure out what they are. Lesley Logan 7:31  summer tour is coming, but the tickets are available. They've been available for a few weeks, actually a month to be precise, and many cities are sold out. You're like, "Lesley, now that I know you record this in the past-future, how do you know?" Because I do! When we were in Arizona, we actually met many people who were like, "Oh, I'm going to Tucson," and I was like, "Okay, we're probably out of spots in Tucson." So I know that some of these slots are sold out. You want to go to opc.me/tour. Our tours are sponsored by the wonderful Balanced Body and Contrology company. Balanced Body is celebrating 50 years, so it's a really big year for them. It's kind of amazing what they're doing, and it's really special. So I want you to make sure that you join us, because Balanced Body allows our tours to go to more than six places and to do it with a lot of fun. We're bringing Contrology products into the studio so you can try them out. And if you're new here...Brad Crowell 8:25  Welcome.Lesley Logan 8:25  Hi! We also have Pilates flashcards. Did you know that we do? You don't have to be a Pilates instructor to love them. They're actually really wonderful for helping you have access to great Pilates where you are. They're so great, in fact, that people steal my images all the fucking time to put them in their shitty books, but you can get the real thing with the best information that has been edited many times and has quality videos at opc.me/flashcards. Sorry, I'm a little pissed off over here about something, but I am. If you follow me on Instagram, you know how long this has been going on, and just as we were about to hit record, I found out another fucking person is stealing my images from my flashcards.Brad Crowell 9:08  Three more people.Lesley Logan 9:09  Three more people.Brad Crowell 9:10  Yeah, so it's a thing. That's crazy. Anyway, you should know what's crazy.Lesley Logan 9:16  Is that they thought someone wouldn't find out? You know what I mean?Brad Crowell 9:21  I mean, maybe they just don't care.Lesley Logan 9:22  Maybe they don't care, or they're like, "Oh, she only has like 30,000 followers, so no one will know." But my followers know me, and even people who don't follow me are telling me, because I am recognizable at any rate. But you can get my flashcards, the real deal, and support a small business who is going to take on some of these big-ass companies, because there is a company that is a big name that we're about to take down anyways. I'm excited about it. Lesley Logan 9:49  Before we get into... we used to do audience questions here. If you're new, you don't know that, so this is not a new thing for you. But if you're old and you're like, "Oh, I just popped in here on this one," we don't do that anymore. We answer questions on YouTube at 9 AM Pacific Time Live, and that is where I answer them. If you're a member, I answer questions wherever you are a member, so as long as it's part of your membership, right? If you're an agency member, you can ask business questions there. If you are an OPC member, I answer personal Pilates questions there—I answer all those. Plus, there's YouTube, and YouTube is free. People don't know that, but it is. It's free. You have to watch, according to one comment, a diabolical amount of commercials, but it's free. Yes, "diabolical" was the word that was used. However, what we decided to change this to is many of you want to help out people in your life, but often don't know how to help, and there are so many different shitstorms in the world, like, which firestorm do you help with? The reality is that you can help either by just sharing with a friend who needs to hear that this charity exists for them, or you can share your time, or you can share it on your platform, or you can give them money, even $2. Lesley Logan 10:55  So, because June is Pride Month, we are going to wrap up the month's theme with another wonderful LGBTQ+ charity. This is the Prism Foundation, and it was founded in 2021. The Prism Foundation was started to organize and execute initiatives for the LGBTQ+ community in the state of Arkansas, using a multifaceted approach to achieve the following outcomes: increase access to affirming and comprehensive healthcare, align resources that address barriers to care and health disparities among the community, and create safe spaces for both virtual and physical activities and services that serve LGBTQ+ Arkansas.Brad Crowell 11:32  Correct me if we're wrong here, but I think it's Arkansans.Lesley Logan 11:35  What is also exciting, because I was doing some research on them, they are also really aware of what is happening in the states that are surrounding them that are affecting trans people. Part of their vision is: "We are increasing access to healthcare as top of our priorities. We're also focused on creating pathways to fulfill our basic needs, including overcoming barriers to legal aid services and developing supportive community spaces physically and virtually." Lesley Logan 11:59  I think this is really important because unfortunately, and at the time of this recording, there have been some awful things that have been said about trans people from the government that we are under in this country. I won't even repeat his words, because they are too horrible to repeat, that he said this week. But we need to be protecting our people who are different than us, because the fucking people who are taking from you are billionaires. So support the LGBTQ+ people in your area, because one, they are beautiful human beings, and two, they are always there supporting.Brad Crowell 12:39  That's true, there's very much of an activism mentality in that community.Lesley Logan 12:45  Yeah.Brad Crowell 12:45  Really like.Lesley Logan 12:46  And also, my goodness, they have to be tired. I'm sure they are. Anyways, I really like what that Prism organization is doing. I think it has to be hard to do what they do in the areas that they're doing it, so if you want to support, there you go.Brad Crowell 13:05  You can go to their website at arprismfoundation.org to read more about what they are doing and how you could support them.Lesley Logan 13:14  And if that is not your area, because you're like, "I'm not Arkansan," or "I'm not in the Midwest," then look up ones in your area that are doing something locally for you, because there is always a local outlet of something, like we've talked about before on this podcast. We love supporting a restaurant because Bronze Cafe—everyone who's local to Las Vegas who listens to this show, when you buy meals from them, they support the LGBTQ mental health community center here.Brad Crowell 13:38  If you have an organization that is doing good things that we should find out about, and you want to be featured on the pod, call us and leave us a voicemail.Lesley Logan 13:49  I love that. Then it's your favorite charity.Brad Crowell 13:52  At 310-905-5534 and tell us why they're amazing. You can also submit wins, by the way, at beitpod.com/questions so that we can get you in on the Friday episode.Lesley Logan 14:09  Times now, Brad, I have had people tell me that they heard their win months after they submitted it, and it really made their day because they were having a rough day. So I tell people this. Also, just so you know, we've changed the Friday FYF. I bitch about something, and then you were gonna come, but we haven't had a chance for you to bitch about something.Brad Crowell 14:30  Oh, yes.Lesley Logan 14:31  Which is what we do at our other communities, and then I celebrate a win, and then I share their wins. That's cool, and I do a mantra, so we had a change to it because it's quite nice. Maybe my new "need a moment" is that all these people use my fucking image.Brad Crowell 14:46  Well, we'll save that for Friday's episode. Stick around, we'll be right back. Brad Crowell 14:51  All right, now let's talk about Mr. Adrian Starks. Adrian is a professional speaker, voice narrator, and host of the Your Purposeful Life podcast, who openly embraces his authentic, unpolished self, including his fun side as a comic card and superhero fanatic. Having shed the rigid suit-and-tie expectations of his early career, Adrian is deeply protective of the energy he puts into the world, intentionally choosing to step away from the microphone rather than record an episode if he's having a bad day. So, good vibes, right? As a fellow human seeking purpose, he helps his audience navigate what he identifies as the three continuous cycles of purposeful living, and encourages people to make a mess, figure out what works, and ultimately have fun with their journey.Lesley Logan 15:36  Well, we love mess over here. We love messy action, and we're so big on that. Yeah, I also love... I mean, we had a great conversation about evolution, but one of the things we talked about is he said when we try to make things perfect when they're not meant to be—well, nothing's supposed to be—there's going to be major resistance because everything has to flow a certain way. He used the metaphor of salmon noting their journey upstream against the flow of the river is what ultimately exhausts them, and I think that's so true. I think we try to get things to be so perfect, just like, you know, we make it too precious, and you kind of hold on to it too tight. Then you aren't able to hear amazing things or be curious to go a different direction, you know what I mean?Brad Crowell 16:19  I was just talking about the idea of, like, the more effort you put into controlling something, the more it slips through your fingers. And yeah, I mean, I totally get that. Here's how I equate this. This is going to be an amazing parallel for all you ultimate frisbee players out there, of which I know I'm speaking to the right audience. Obviously.Lesley Logan 16:40  I'm sure we have a good two.Brad Crowell 16:42  Clearly, clearly the right audience. I grew up playing very, very competitively, playing ultimate frisbee, and whenever you were gonna throw the frisbee all the way down the field—the disc, as it were, if you put all of your might into that throw, that huck, as it were, is what we would call it, inevitably, you would mess it up. It would curve to the right, or go out of bounds, or whatever. But if you took a half a second before that huge throw, and you just eased and paused when you threw, you paused, and then just let it happen—it would go where you wanted it to every time. It took a long time, and I could always tell as soon as I released the disc, like, "Oh man, I did not do that right." I feel like life is like that too. When you are forcing it, things do not go the way that you want them to, but when you go with the flow, you know, while you're directing it, then things seem to happen a lot more organically, usually. All the things, right?Lesley Logan 17:49  Yeah, it's like a tough balance, right, because.Brad Crowell 17:52  Still have to direct it.Lesley Logan 17:53  Well, because you don't want to just be blowing with the wind, but you also need to feel the flow, right? Like, there are some obstacles that tell us, like, "Not that door," right? That doesn't mean it's a stop sign, it's just like a doorway, like, "Nope, not that door." And I think it's like really understanding, you know, why are you doing this? Why are you doing any of this? Because if you can keep your "why" in mind, it can keep the perfection from taking over, because perfection will honestly end up making something so clean and perfect, no one wants to touch it and do it, or they don't really know what it is, and it's exhausting. It's exhausting to be perfect. Lesley Logan 18:30  Oh my god, there's just certain people in my life, whenever I see them, I'm like, "How long does it take them to get out the door?" Because we just saw someone this past weekend at an event, and every time I see her, I'm like, she's so perfectly coiffed, it must take forever to get out the door, because there's not a hair amiss. The outfit is... the nails match the shoes match the... I mean, like all of it. I'm like, I know how long it takes to get my nails done, so they're just gonna be what they are for four weeks. So, I don't know, I'm just saying this is... if you want to be my friend, don't be perfect, okay?Lesley Logan 19:06  The last thing I'll say is he explained that when we go against the grain of what our purposes are, it creates major resistance that makes us feel like we're not worthy. So, hello, my people who feel imposter syndrome, it's because you're going against the grain of your purpose. If we're truly good at where we are, while we always can improve, we don't need to be perfect. There is this thing... "improve" is the wrong word. We are always... this is something that happens with Pilates instructors that I meet. You always are going to be learning. There's never a point that you're not learning, but there's a difference between chasing down every single person to go through their version of a program with, and also just learning from the body in front of you today. You know what I mean? Every time I teach a new person, a new client, I learn a new way of explaining something. Today we were doing OPC spring training, and this wonderful person asked a great question. I was like, "You know what, I've explained this before, but never to a person with that brand of equipment, with that years of experience, with that understanding of the exercise." So even I am learning something I already know in a different way so I can explain it. It's just... there's ways to learn and improve yourself without having to constantly feel like you've gotta sign up for this next thing, you know? So, anyways.Brad Crowell 20:21  Stay tuned, because how do we know what our purpose is, you know? How do we even know if we're going against the grain? Stick around, because we're going to talk about that in the Be It action items. Brad Crowell 20:32  But what I really wanted to talk about myself was grief, which is interesting because it was an interesting topic that y'all skipped over. You were talking about grieving, not just like a person who might no longer be with us, or obviously a pet or any of that, but even an experience that was supposed to happen, but it didn't, you know? And you were very excited about it, or you had a lot of effort and planning into it. I mean, we know we've been talking about opening a studio for a really long time, and we spent a lot of money, we spent a lot of time at the beginning of this year and last year—beginning of this year like really thinking, planning. I mean, I can't even tell you how many phone calls I made to the city, and I spent hours putting together a plan, a business plan for this. And then three months in, we decided to pause the whole thing because we realized that we were pretty much forcing it, you know, because there was one key thing that was holding us up that was like, "Wait a minute, how are we going to solve this problem?" It was kind of like one of those, "Well, we're gonna... we could... we'll make it work. We'll figure it out. It's gonna..." you know. All of a sudden I was like, "Why do we need to do that? We don't even need to do the studio. It's just gonna cause a lot of stress. And what we could be doing right now is opening a major problem for ourselves." So what we decided to do instead was solve the problem that we would be opening for ourselves first, but that's going to take time.Lesley Logan 22:01  Yeah.Brad Crowell 22:02  Right. So even though we spent this time putting this whole plan together and decided to hit pause, it's interesting because, okay, there's actually another path that is going to set us up for success in the future when we do bring that studio back around. However, it doesn't mean that you don't feel bummed about it. I drive by the location that we picked out, that I've talked with the landlord.Lesley Logan 22:26  I know.Brad Crowell 22:27  And the neighbors, and the city about, and a contractor about.Lesley Logan 22:30  And I envisioned the sign.Brad Crowell 22:32  100 times.Lesley Logan 22:33  I still don't think it's not going to be in that center. I just think it's not that unit. It's just that unit needed way too much money. Yeah, not the rent, but the build-out was like jaw-dropping. It honestly made the grief a little bit easier, I'm not gonna lie, because it was such a "fuck no," you know what I mean? Like, it was just like no fucking way. And so, I do understand there's grief because that's not happening today, and so we still drive by it every single time, but I also think this is where good reflection comes from, too. It's like, in reflecting, it's all out of our control—the parts that are the obstacles, yeah. So I go to bed knowing we did the best we could with what we had in the moment, and had we not had this other stupid bill come through that we're like, "That's a fuck no," we probably would have forced the salmon up the stream a little bit. I think so, because we definitely.Brad Crowell 23:34  Would have.Lesley Logan 23:34  Anyway, would have made it work, but it would have been a hard stress.Brad Crowell 23:38  More complicated than it needed to be. Yeah, but.Lesley Logan 23:40  I do think there is a way you have to grieve changes. We have Elevate members who are like, "I'm grieving the teacher I used to be," because they used to just narrate a Pilates class, for lack of a simple thing. And it's like, "Well, no, now you get to watch it, and you get to see what it is." Part of you is excited because you know better now and you have these more potential possibilities now, but also there was a time that it felt easier, right? And you're a different person when you're in this unknown space. So, like, I'm excited when we open that studio. I'm past the grief thing, but also sometimes I look back at that studio, it would have been really great if it was a Pilates on it already.Brad Crowell 24:19  Yeah, well, that's the thing. You know, you were talking about how grief doesn't really go away because you had built a mental pattern around a person or a thing or an experience that was supposed to happen. You had built that into your thinking, and what ends up happening over time is we think that way a little bit less. It doesn't mean we don't think about the thing, but the expectations that we had alter, they shift, right? And so, you know, what Adrian was talking about was someone, I think he was talking about someone who died, if I recall, and he said sometimes he just needs to embrace when that emotion comes up. He embraces it, he leans into it. He's like, "It's okay for me to feel this right now," and he encourages letting that emotion flow for multiple reasons. It's a testament to how someone or something impacted you, but also it's really important to feel those emotions. So.Lesley Logan 25:16  Yeah, it's hard. I don't know, it's like there's certain... you know, it's really interesting, like there's certain people, places, or things that you grieve in different ways. Our LA studio, I don't ever look back and have tears, like I'm sad with that studio, because it was the right thing to do to make the change, but I do miss having that cute little space.Brad Crowell 25:37  Yeah.Lesley Logan 25:37  You know, I miss it. Yeah, I think back of it fondly, not tears, like, "Oh, I don't have that place anymore," but like, "What a fun two years I had in that space." It was such a... like a treehouse, you know. So, grief doesn't always have to be devastating either, but you have to feel it. We have some great grief podcasts, by the way. Haven't had any recently, but the two that we had were so good: Kim Hamer and another woman... I want to say Kara, but I don't think that's what it was. She's like Coach Something, and they're both on grief. Kim Hamer has a wonderful book on 100 Acts of Love, and her episode about her husband and that grief was so interesting, and what she has done. She was so raw and wonderful and thoughtful. And then there was a woman before her in the episodes, and I'm just talking like as if it's going to come back to me, she actually, unfortunately, watched her husband die, and then she went through all this grief and she was like, "How come this is happening, and why am I not over it?" She literally became a grief coach.Brad Crowell 26:42  Yeah.Lesley Logan 26:42  I want to say it's Kara, but it's not.Brad Crowell 26:44  I have no idea.Lesley Logan 26:46  Anyways, our wonderful producers will figure it out, I'm sure. But you can just go into our catalog; it's definitely in the first 200 episodes. Good luck! Well, here's the thing: if you can find Kim Hamer, it's within two months of Kim Hamer that I remember. So, okay, we're gonna get into our Be It action items, and I can see Brad is going to Google that.Brad Crowell 27:05  Yeah, one was Krista St-Germain.Lesley Logan 27:08  That's the one.Brad Crowell 27:09  And the other was.Lesley Logan 27:12  Kim Hamer. Kim Hamer! So sorry, replace Hamer everywhere I said Scott. There you go.Brad Crowell 27:23  All right, stick around. We'll be right back. We're gonna dig into those Be It action items. Brad Crowell 27:29  All right. Well, welcome back. Let's talk about those Be It action items that we got from Adrian Starks. What bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted action items can we take away from your combo, Adrian? It's weird to call him Starks. Starks, it sounds like he's like... like.Lesley Logan 27:48  Tony.Brad Crowell 27:49  Yeah, but I was thinking like a football player, like the way that you.Lesley Logan 27:52  I just want to go "Adrian," that's all.Brad Crowell 27:54  Starks redefines the word goal, and I've really loved this, y'all. He's so full of these quippy things that are so applicable, and this one really blew my mind. He said, "I love a goal, but I redefined it with the acronym of Get Out and Live, Get Out and Live." And I was like, "Wow, that's really great." I love that he views goals not as rigid markers but as triggers to move outside of one's comfort zone, scare yourself a little bit, and then break a rut. He suggests regularly asking yourself, what is actually going on here? What am I not happy about? What do I actually want? Specifically focusing on immediate desires rather than five-year plans, he recommends detoxing from social media for several days at a time to avoid the world of comparisons that definitely leads to self-doubt and imposter syndrome.Brad Crowell 28:51  Imposter syndrome, yeah, exactly.Lesley Logan 28:53  Comparison is the thief of joy.Brad Crowell 28:54  Comparison is the thief of joy. What about you?Lesley Logan 28:58  Well, he said your purpose in life is not something you find, it's something that you do, and it's going to change. It's going to evolve with time, and I couldn't agree more. It's so funny. Recently, I posted pictures of myself as a brand new Pilates instructor. I actually wrote a whole series called Outgrowing Yourself, and it's either already come out or it's coming up. No idea. I think it already came out, outgrowing your old version of yourself. And it's so funny, because I don't look back at her going, "Oh my god." I mean, when I said, "Oh my god, I look so young..."Brad Crowell 29:27  You look like a child.Lesley Logan 29:28  I look like a child. I was 25, but I think about what her goals as a new teacher were to where I am right now, and I can say looking back I never have thought, "Oh my god, I'm no longer living my purpose," because my purpose has evolved as a teacher. Because I've evolved in the more that I know, and the people that I teach, and the things that I'm drawn to. There's things that people like, "Don't you want to do this?" and it's like, "No, that's a no, I don't." And even right now people like, "Oh, what about next year?" I'm like, "I think I'm staying home a lot, actually a significant amount of time. I'm staying home." And they're like, "Oh, really?" And it's like, "Yeah, because if you do take the time to get to know yourself, and you do stay aligned with what you want, and you do stay aligned with your purpose, your life has to evolve." And then, because that evolves, and your purpose evolves, I'm like, "My life has to reflect what I'm doing, and then what I'm doing then takes me to my next thing, which means my life has to reflect what I'm doing, and so..."Brad Crowell 30:26  I agree with you on this, but also let's go back to his statement, because I think I remember trying to figure out, like, what am I going to do with my life, or what's my purpose? And we all know that it's important to have purpose in our lives, but I also think a testament to this is the conversations that I've had recently with my parents, who just retired.Lesley Logan 30:51  Yeah.Brad Crowell 30:51  Right. And then the interview that we had with the retirement coach, whose name I'm not recalling, but it was in the last 100 episodes. Lesley Logan 31:01  Definitely. It was definitely, was it this year?Brad Crowell 31:04  But the point is that we think purpose is just going to find us, and we're gonna be like, "Oh my god, that's what I'm here for, that's the thing," right? Instead, what clearly seems actionable is purpose is something that we are out there doing, and whether or not we chose to do it, we're still out there doing it. I mean, I think about my parents with their job, and the thing that was keeping my dad focused on the job was the job. Ultimately, if you step back and look at that, it's not necessarily like whatever... I don't even know what the projects were that he was working on.Lesley Logan 31:45  Ever.Brad Crowell 31:46  Yeah, but the point... I mean, I wasn't intimately involved in the company they work for, so I don't actually understand all the nuance of the things, but he built that purpose over a career of 42 or 43 years, and then now all of a sudden he's thinking about ending it. It doesn't matter how mundane the job is, he's, "Oh, what am I going to do with myself after this? I'm not sure, I don't know," you know. And so that's where we find ourselves unwilling to make a change as well, but then you have... that's like.Lesley Logan 32:16  No, I want to argue with you a little bit, and I'm glad your dad doesn't listen to this podcast. I feel like he did what a lot of people his age did, which is like, "This is my job," and that job became the purpose. Yeah.Brad Crowell 32:31  But that's the point of what Adrian said.Lesley Logan 32:33  But I don't think so, because I think it goes to that saying: if you don't have goals, someone will make their goals your goal, and so I feel like.Brad Crowell 32:43  Your purpose can be inadvertent. Yeah, if you don't take control of what you do, then your purpose will be defined for you, or it can accidentally become your purpose. Yes.Lesley Logan 32:53  And if you don't like it, then you're the person going, "Why is my purpose just to do this project for this many years?" Where I think it's important is this is where self-reflection is so important, because when you self-reflect, you are aware of when you are outgrowing something, or you are being called into something. I don't know if we had a conversation with Adrian, but I definitely had a conversation, and I wrote a newsletter on it, is that a lot of people in the Pilates industry, like, "I need to figure out what my space is in this industry," and it's like, never do that, don't do that. Because no one that you admire ever sat and goes, "What is my little circle in this industry?" No, they went out and carved their path, they created their thing. There'll be an episode coming out that hasn't already with me on Balanced Body's podcast, where they're like, "You carved out this thing." I'm like, I had to, I had to create the thing that I needed. Some of you are already living your purpose, but you actually are looking at other people and going, "I need to look like them," and you haven't taken the time to reflect back, going, "Actually, the thing that I'm doing is the thing that's my purpose, and it's helping these people. And so now that I'm aware of that, I amplify that." Because you're out there amplifying and doing it, it will evolve, because you will continue to hone in and understand and be curious, and change things. So either it inadvertently finds you, and you're doing someone else's purpose, and they'll be grateful, or you discover what it is. But if you look inside.Brad Crowell 34:20  But that's... yeah, it goes... you were both talking about self-reflection, but it goes back to, you know, your purpose in life is not something you find, it's something that you do.Lesley Logan 34:29  Yes.Brad Crowell 34:30  And it is also... it's a change and evolve over time.Lesley Logan 34:33  It's kind of like those movies where the person goes out in seek of what their purpose is, but really their purpose was there all the time, but they weren't taking the time to see that it was there. Go self-reflect anyways. Anything else, Brad?Brad Crowell 34:47  Yeah. He said with purpose you can navigate and make adjustments, right? And he talked about figuring out what actions match the frequency and energy of where you're at right now.Lesley Logan 34:57  Yeah, that's true. That's great.Brad Crowell 34:59  Yeah, I mean, we'll just leave it... we'll just leave that there. Go back and listen, because...Lesley Logan 35:04  Adrian is great.Brad Crowell 35:05  Yeah, he's great.Lesley Logan 35:05  And I, by the way.Brad Crowell 35:06  He does voice acting. How cool.Lesley Logan 35:08  Well, let's listen to his voice.Brad Crowell 35:09  Yeah, it's amazing.Lesley Logan 35:10  Honestly, like, he should really write sleepy stories, like those sleep stories. I would listen every day.Brad Crowell 35:16  Yeah.Lesley Logan 35:17  I also would even listen to him share bad news with that voice, because it's just like, you know, like the BBC type, where it's just matter-of-fact, you know what I mean? Like, I think I could be like, "Okay, well, we're not all gonna die, so there we go." Adrian, thanks for being you. Thanks for being back. You guys, I'm Lesley Logan.Brad Crowell 35:34  And I'm Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 35:35  Share our episodes with a friend who needs to figure out what their purpose is, and then leave a review. Yes, and then send in your win, because you're someone who likes this podcast, or someone likes a checklist, and I just gave you three things that are easy to do, easy to check off. You're gonna feel super successful in your day, so then you can go Be It Till You See It.Brad Crowell 35:52  Bye for now.Lesley Logan 35:53  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 36:36  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 36:41  It is transcribed, produced, and edited by the epic team @desenio.co.Brad Crowell 36:45  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Chofi.Lesley Logan 36:52  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals,Brad Crowell 36:56  Also to Angelina Herrico for adding all of our content to our website, and finally to Meredith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Most people are waiting to find their purpose. Adrian Starks says that's exactly why they're stuck. The podcaster, voice narrator, professional speaker, and entrepreneur behind Your Purposeful Life returns to the show to share with Lesley Logan about the real cost of perfectionism, the salmon's lesson on fighting your purpose, and the daily self-reflection practice that quietly rebuilds your direction. This one's for anyone in a rebuild season, ready to stop searching and start moving. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Why saying "I don't know" is the most underrated leadership move.The three cycles every purposeful life moves through on repeat.What happens when you stop checking in with your own purposeThe two questions Adrian asks instead of just journaling his thoughts.The real difference between nice people and kind people in your life.Episode References/Links:Adrian Starks Website - https://adrianstarks.comYour Purposeful Life Podcast - https://beitpod.com/purposefullifeAdrian Starks on YouTube - https://beitpod.com/adrianyoutubeAdrian Starks LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/feed/?nis=trueAdrian Starks Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/adrian.starksEp 191. with Adrian Starks - https://beitpod.com/ep191The Last Black Unicorn by Tiffany Haddish - https://a.co/d/0iNbLUALAre You My Mother by P.D. Eastman - https://a.co/d/0clbpmbUSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! 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It's going to evolve with time, and that's okay. Having self-doubt is okay; not knowing everything is okay.Lesley Logan 0:13  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:55  All right, Be It babe. I'm gonna keep this short and sweet, because you've got some gems, some nuggets, some magic coming at you. We have one of the best conversations I had at the beginning of this pod, episode 191. Our guest is Adrian Starks, and he is back, and he is back with so much. It's so fun how a difference of a few years can make when you're living your life and you're following your purpose and reflecting what you can do and what you learn about yourself that you can share with others. So here are so many amazing tips on helping you find your purposeful life. And if you love Adrian, go check out his podcast, Your Purposeful Life. Lesley Logan 1:29  All right, Be It Pod, we have a guest back. I think, honestly, this might be the biggest gap from the first episode to the next episode. So, Adrian Starks, we have a lot to talk about. We, one, probably have to reintroduce you to everybody, and then two, we have to hear what you've been up to, how you're being it till you see it. So, tell everyone who you are and what you're rocking at these days.Adrian Starks 1:48  Well, it is so great to be back, Lesley. Let me tell you. My name is Adrian Starks, of course. I'm a podcaster, voice narrator, speaker, entrepreneur, all the good stuff. But yeah, that's who I am.Lesley Logan 2:01  Are you reading books? Are you a narrator like that? Are commercials what we're doing with it? I mean, a great voice.Adrian Starks 2:06  We're reading books, we're narrating for commercials, we're doing a lot of things.Lesley Logan 2:11  Cool, that's so fun. How did... okay, we have to talk more about that. But first, so we had you on for episode 191, and I was on your pod, and we really had a great time because you had some really great "be it till you see it" moments. And I think maybe we can go back a little bit of the be it till you see it where we left off to here, because maybe I missed it, maybe I didn't get as excited, but I can't believe narrating commercials and stuff like that. That's got to be so fun using this amazing voice you have to do what you're doing. So take us back a little bit, so we can get to the present.Adrian Starks 2:48  Okay, so how did I get into that? Well, that's a good question. I started out as speaking, professional speaking, and then I just started making connections along the way, started auditioning for certain things. I did a lot of things on certain platforms, like reading for children's books, I did some audios for other people's books, and then one thing led to another. The next thing I know, I'm getting offered opportunities to do other things, like narrating, and it's fun for me. I enjoy it, and I love it. So that's where I'm at today, doing that, along with podcasting, along with just being it till you see it.Lesley Logan 3:20  Yeah, how has your podcast changed? It's been like almost 400 episodes since we've talked, so that's like at least two years.Adrian Starks 3:28  Yeah.Lesley Logan 3:30  Because when we start our podcast, we have an intention of what it is, and then we evolve. The podcast has to evolve. What have you kept the same, and what have you realized that as you've changed, you've changed?Adrian Starks 3:44  Wow, the podcast has evolved, and I've changed over time, in a way of not so polished like I was before. Before, I was very astute, and I had to talk about this, talk about that, and make sure all my answers are correct. Now I was like, you know what, there's some things I just don't know, and I'm gonna show certain sides of myself that no one's ever seen. So now people are seeing the comical side of me. I'm into comics, I'm into a lot of fun things, comic cards, comic books, superheroes, of course, reading. But the podcast has evolved in a sense of me now just... I'm not looking for the answer of purpose. I just want to understand what people's perspective of it is, and that has changed.Lesley Logan 4:30  Oh, I understand that. I get that, because it's called Your Purposeful Life. And I love that you're like, "I thought it has to be astute. Everything has to have an answer, because that's what everyone wants." Everyone wants an answer. I have these students in this mentorship program, and they asked a question, and I talked for seven minutes. My fathom is like that's like a monologue, and I was like, "I have fully answered your question, and I want to acknowledge that it doesn't sound like there's an answer in there because you want yes or no."Adrian Starks 5:01  That's the truth.Lesley Logan 5:01  But it's such a lot of questions about our life and the things that we do. There's nuances; there's things that might be too much purpose for you and not enough for someone else. And so it's complicated.Adrian Starks 5:14  It's very complicated. And I go by the philosophy of Socrates. He said that "I know that I know nothing," and that is something that is very courageous to do in this day and time. Yes, we want to be knowledgeable about things. Yes, we want to have things that we give to people that are correct, because, like in your case, when you're teaching people, you want the knowledge to be there for them. But there's a lot of cases where there's just some things we don't know, and that's okay. That's what learning is for, and being able to be a person in your field and be a leader, and say, "You know what, I don't know, but I would like to find that answer out with you, or find some type of solution to what this is." And that's where I feel like we're living now in this day and time; people are looking for solutions, but they're also looking for connection to that solution.Lesley Logan 6:06  Yeah, and I think there's a trust to be built there. There has to be something that there's an alignment. I actually remember when I first became a Pilates instructor, I think I had to know the answer to everything, and I have found that my clients and the students I teach, they might not love when I say, "I don't know. Let me think about it," but also I may never know. The person I studied under has passed, the person he studied under has passed, like there's just going to be some things we don't have an answer to. So I think it's very brave and courageous to be like, "I don't know the answer to that, but this is what I know, and I know enough of this to keep going in this direction." Being a recovering perfectionist and overachiever, I used to really need someone to tell me the right or left turn to take, and I've gotten better at going, "Oh, I'm going to take this left-hand turn, and based on the information I have, it should get me where I'm going, and if it doesn't, we'll get as far as we did, and we'll figure it out."Adrian Starks 7:05  That is the same way with me, too. You and I both share that common theme of being the perfectionist and wanting to have, we call these Type A personalities, they want certain things a certain way, and that's okay. But there are times where you have to just let things flow. I was thinking about this the other day. I had a day where everything seemed to be going against me, and I was trying my best, because I'm very stubborn, to make things go the way that I wanted them to. And the more I did that, I found that there was more resistance, something got delayed, something didn't happen, something fell through, and then I realized that, okay, I'm going against the nature of things. And when we go against the nature of things, when we try to make things perfect when they're not meant to be, that's going to be major resistance, because everything has to flow a certain way.Lesley Logan 7:57  Yeah.Adrian Starks 7:57  I'm all about looking at nature as a way of teaching, and if you look at the salmon, so I'm from the Pacific Northwest, here in Seattle, and the salmon, when they go upstream, that one last journey to lay their eggs then spawn, they go upstream. That's the last thing they do when they get there, is do that, and then they die. Now, the question remains: is it the exhaustion that gets them? Is it just that that was their purpose, like we're going to go back, we're going to give life, and then that's it? Well, there's a number of things going on, but the true essence is that that journey against the flow of the river, that's what exhausts them. So, by the time they get to the top and they do their thing, there is no energy left to go back.Lesley Logan 8:47  Yeah.Adrian Starks 8:47  And when I look at our days and our lives, and when we're going against the grain of what our purposes are, then that creates major resistance. It makes us feel like we're not worth it, makes us feel like we're not perfect. It makes us feel like we're incompetent, and the answer to that is that we're not. We're truly good at where we are. We can always be better, but we don't need to be perfect.Lesley Logan 9:11  Yeah, I interviewed someone about being 1% better every day, and eventually that just is too compounding for me. I've done math, and that's a lot, for the recovering overachiever. 1% better every day, and it's like some days you're gonna be 3% worse, because you made a mistake that you had to go learn and unravel and go back, and that requires... there's just things, it's a lot of pressure. But I do think that as long as your intention is to be a learner and to continue to put out what you feel your creative spirit is, then you're going to make mistakes, but you can recover from them and keep going, and you learn more, you have better muscle strength. Some days when you're having those resistances, you actually just build stronger resilience for what you're going to do, because the closer you get to the thing that you want, you'll have a lot of rejection along the way. People doubting that your idea is a good one, and you need to strengthen your resilience, so you can get to where you want to go. Because when you get there, there's going to still be some doubters; it's going to be even more, because now you're more known for it. And so now there are these people who are like, "Who do you think you are?" And it's like, I think I'm the person who's been working on this for 20 years. Where are you? You just got here.Adrian Starks 10:25  Exactly. That's what people see, they see the outcome, they see just that result. They don't see the build-up to it.Lesley Logan 10:31  Yeah.Adrian Starks 10:31  And it's like when you look at trees when they grow, you don't see the roots that are deep into the ground that have spent years getting its grounding so the tree can go upward and it can balance itself. You only see the blossoming of the tree, and we forget that there's a lot going on in the dark here, a lot that's causing this tree to be the way it is. And I love the fact that you said learning too, because that kind of rang a bell with me when I talk about purposeful living. There's three cycles, and one of them is learning. We have to be constant students of ourselves and our environments, learning what is actually going on in my environment, what am I not getting, what mistakes am I making, what can I improve, and then that learning process will trigger the second step. Once you realize that, that second step is growth.Lesley Logan 11:19  Yeah.Adrian Starks 11:20  We trust what we've learned. Right now, we're beginning to put it into action a little bit. We're starting to apply it, like, "Okay, this didn't work. Let me dial back here. Let me try this now. Let me try something different. Let me try a different road. Let me not go down this road anymore." And then, once you do that enough, that growth, then we move into the third part of the cycle, which is self-expression. That's the complete trust that now you've learned it, you put it into action, and now you know what works and what doesn't work for you. Now you're just going to have some fun with it. Then once you start having fun, the confidence builds up. Okay, now let's learn some more, let's grow some.Lesley Logan 11:58  Yeah.Adrian Starks 11:59  And you just keep doing that over and over through your lifespan here on the planet. And the beautiful thing is, like you were mentioning, you don't have to be perfect doing it, make a mess, and then clean it up as you go.Lesley Logan 12:10  Oh my god, I think the best things... I look at them in my office at the end of the day, and I'm like, "Yeah, we did some great work here." Maybe that's the ADHD that just puts things down instead of putting it away, but at the end of the day I look and go, "Oh yeah, if I thought I didn't do anything today, I was wrong." Clearly, I've been in every place in this room, I've done all these things, and I think that's a sign of a good day. It's interesting. I think another part of that growth process you're talking about is putting yourself around people who are the next step ahead, because if you end up doing all of that, and then you're just surrounded by people who haven't done that, it's really easy to either get a little full of yourself or to stop growing, or think that there's not another level. I've always had some great friends in my career that are about seven to 10 years ahead of me in age or in the profession, and I love it because they are always telling me what their complaints are, and I can go, "Oh, well, I don't have to experience that complaint. That sounds like a terrible thing, that sounds really exhausting." If I just change it now, I feel like I'm a little bit... not skipping ahead, but just having stronger guidance towards where I'm at and what I'm doing. So it's almost like the HOV lane on the freeway. I'm still going to be in a little bit of traffic, but it's a little less, less people.Adrian Starks 13:33  No, I agree with you. I love that, because it's so true. We do need to surround ourselves with people that uplift us, inspire us, and also show us what not to do. We can learn two ways: learn what to do and learn what not to do. A lot of times, learning what not to do is even bigger than learning what to do. It saves you time and energy. And we also have to be careful, too, with people that are around us that may be, not intentionally but unconsciously, pulling us away from that thing that we really want to do for ourselves, for our communities, for society. We get used to just being the person that's like, "Okay, we're good, we have a good time, and we get along." But is this person really, or this group, are they really challenging you to grow? Are they really allowing you to see things that you need to see in order to move forward? And it's hard. It's really hard to think about that consciously, because we get so used to just being in the group, and we can talk a lot about self-reliance, but we need each other.Lesley Logan 14:40  Yeah.Adrian Starks 14:41  You can never ascend alone; I believe that completely. Back in the day when I was doing my professional speaking on stages, I was in Canada, I was speaking, I thought it was all about me. I was like, "Hey, I got the answers, I'm teaching everybody." Then, boom, COVID hit. Humbleness, you know. It was like there was nobody around, because I was just by myself, and I was just doing my thing. I didn't have that group or those people to reassure me to say, "Hey, okay, you need to recalibrate here. We're doing this over here, you might want to take a look at what we're doing." I didn't have that group, and I'm glad that you said that, because there needs to be people that kind of challenge you. But at the same time, when you hit a pocket where it's like, "What do I do? How do I get better?" then you have that group to look to, or that person to look to, as an example.Lesley Logan 15:40  I agree. I think it's really easy, and I see it happening now, because it's almost like we forgot that there was a COVID. My schedule, even though as intentional as I've been, it's been very busy, and people are like, "Oh, when are you coming back?" And I'm like, "Probably not till 2028. I have not accepted any gigs for next year. I've not accepted any gigs." I've got an idea that I need to do, and that's gonna require me to be at home, and I've got another idea that won't happen unless I'm at home, so I gotta do that. And people just look at me like, "What?" And I'm like, "This is how busy I was pre-COVID." And then during COVID, it became very clear who my friends were because we were just at the same places at the same time, and who my friends were because they wanted to talk to me even when we weren't running into each other. So that really helped me go, "Okay, these are the people who care about me, no matter how they benefit, right?" And then these other people, they're not bad people if that's all they want to talk to me, but it's just that it's interesting to note who you want to share things with. But I think we have to realize that there was this beautiful time that helped us reflect on where we were going, and we got this reset, and how we used it hopefully was intentional. And then now we're back at it, and it's so easy to forget what that was. I'm seeing people fall back into the patterns of pre-COVID, and I'm like, I need to have intentional relationships. And speaking back to your podcast, my purpose is something that will probably change, will change as my life goes on, but if I'm not paying attention to it, I'm not gonna realize that; I'm gonna be doing five years ago's purpose.Adrian Starks 17:19  It's true. In the purpose thing, it's not what you find, it's what you do, and it's constantly evolving with you. We talked about in the beginning, you were asking me about what changed and what brought this about; it was just the changing of my purpose. I realized that there were things now that... okay, now I'm interested in this, or now this is moving into this direction because of these external situations that I can't control, so how do I adapt? Thomas Carlyle, he was a Scottish philosopher, and he said that a person without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder. What that means is that when you don't have a rudder in your ship, when something comes around unexpectedly, your ship just starts spinning and it goes off course. But when you have a rudder, meaning you have a purpose, something you're working with, no matter what's happening, you can navigate and be like, "Okay, let's make a little adjustment here. This may not work, but we're still going to go ahead with the plan." The plan is just altered a little bit, and that's what it is to be purposeful. It's just actively knowing that this year was different than three years ago, and so this year, what can we do that matches the frequency and energy and intensity of where we're at right now? And that's what I've come to realize, it's just you don't have to look back and say, "This is where I was, oh poor me." A lot of people felt this way, and I felt this way, like what happened to that spark, what happened to that person that was doing all these things over here? And I have to come to a reality check. Life... shit happens. Things happen, and we can't control them, but we also have the amazing ability as human beings to adapt and adjust.Lesley Logan 18:56  Yeah.Adrian Starks 18:56  We're the only species on the planet that can do that. All the other things of nature and animals, if there's a cliff, they just keep going because they know they got to get on the other side, migration-wise. But when it's us, we're like, "That shit ain't working. This is not working, we'll go over here." That's our ability to do that, and that's why I said the purpose, it's like you can guide it, it doesn't necessarily have to pull you, and that's where we get our true self-creative factors coming from and just making changes that we need to make in our lives.Lesley Logan 19:30  Yeah, so I want to go back to because you know what your podcast has become now. Brad and I have been making changes to our pod, and we were on our vacation in Europe, and we're listening to a podcast, and it started with like... I say we're gonna stop playing the music before the ads. Why are we doing that? Because if we want it to sound really produced, we have great producers, they're listening to this, you guys are amazing, love you, but they're great producers with or without that. And all these other podcasts I listen to, they don't have the music going into it, they just go into an ad. And that's kind of annoying, but you know what? How the podcast gets paid is for ads, so sorry, that's how it's paid for. These things cost a lot of money to do, so we're doing that. And it's like, "Well, what else?" And I'm like, "You know, I'm actually bored of this. I'm actually tired of that." And then you're like, "Oh my god, but my listeners are so used to it, people don't like change." But also it's like, "But this is my podcast, and I have to like doing it." So, what are some changes you've made, or decisions you've done? And then, did you think about how did you... did you tell the listeners, or you just did it? How did you do it?Adrian Starks 20:32  I have to say, to be honest and fully transparent, I did not tell my listeners I was going to take a hiatus off. I just did it. And what's interesting is that listeners... they begin to listen more because they missed that space. There's this saying that people don't miss you until you're gone.Lesley Logan 20:53  Yeah.Adrian Starks 20:54  When people don't hear from you, they get very curious. I always say this to people, I say, "I'm incubating." They're like... "I'm cooking up some stuff here, I'm working on some other things that I'm just incubating right now, but there's still things you can listen to." And I think that it would be nice to tell our listeners that, "Hey, I'm going to go on a five-month hiatus here, or six months, or seven months." But in all honesty, I don't think that would be... for me, that wouldn't be a good idea, because then they just stop listening. They'll just start moving on to something.Lesley Logan 21:23  Yeah because they know, "Okay, they'll be back in six months."Adrian Starks 21:25  So they're like, "Well, he's not gonna release anything new, so we're just gonna move on to the next person." And some people will do that, but I think that at the end of the day, we're human. If we're taking off and we're gone, we're gone. And when we come back, then we can explain, like, "Hey, I was gone for a minute. This is what's been going on." People want the real these days, and they want to know what is going on in your life.Lesley Logan 21:48  Yeah.Adrian Starks 21:49  Like I remember when professional speaking was so polished, everyone was on stage, they had suits and ties on, and I'll never forget I started out with a suit and tie. For some people, they can feel good; that makes them feel great. But I was like, "This is not me, I can't be this person." So I stopped wearing the suit and tie, I started being myself, wearing casual clothes. Then the podcasting industry kicked off, it boomed. It started back in 2018 is when it really began to take off, and at the podcasting stage, I was beginning to do the same thing: well-polished, all this stuff, and then I realized, no, not me. And the podcast over time has changed, it's evolved. You will see different perspectives of myself. There was one person asking me, "Do you think you should take down the episodes from the very beginning, because it's so not in alignment with what you're doing now?" And I said, "Absolutely not." I said, "This shows transparency, that I started with this idea, now we're moving on to these things, and it just shows the purpose, how it's constantly changing." And that's where we're at. But yeah, back to your question, I kind of went on a tangent there, but back to your question about whether you tell people or not: I think no. I think we do what comes natural, and yeah. In this day and time, everyone wants attention. I've noticed this on social media, I'm gonna have to say it, I'm gonna have to bring it up here, it's been on my mind a lot, everybody wants attention, everybody's doing podcasting right now. Lesley, you've been around for quite some time, you're a veteran in podcasting, but the people now... everybody, birds, cats, dogs, they all have podcasts now.Lesley Logan 23:26  I know everybody wants.Adrian Starks 23:27  To be on a podcast, and you know what? It's saturated the market. We're competing with people who don't really have a passion for what they do; they're just getting people on their show to talk to. I know some people will disagree with that, and that's okay, but this is my perspective because I've seen it. When we feel a certain way, like something doesn't resonate with us, it's okay to pull away. That shows we truly are in our essence. We're not doing this to impress, and we're not doing this hoping you stay with me and follow me. If you connect with me energetically and you really like what I do, then you'll go with the flow. I understand it's a business for us too, and we have to continue to do the things that bring business, but at the same time, it is what it is. You just have to know that if you're feeling a certain way, either do it or don't do it. I have this thing I do: if I'm not feeling an episode, I'm not going to get on a mic. I'm not going to talk if I'm having a shitty day, sorry for my language here, but if I'm having one of those days where I've encountered someone or done something in business and it's just not sitting right with me, then I'm not going to get on the mic. At that point, that energy is going to come across, my head will be somewhere else, and I'm not truly present. So, I think it's great for us to be able to take time off and just step away for a bit.Lesley Logan 24:49  I appreciate you saying that. There's this one podcast that Brad listened to, and the guy was like, "I'm taking off three months. Here's why I'm doing that, and here's what's going on." He was very honest. He said, "I'm having some burnout, I feel like I'm overworking, and I want to put some new systems in place." Then he said, "And here are the things I created for you." And I thought, Oh my god, why would you do that? You are tired. It was very thoughtful, but that was just extra work just to get to the finish line. And this other podcast I listened to, I realized, like, a couple, because he's a Friday podcast, it's True Crime of the Week, and so obviously it's very topical, it's very like time sensitive, and like after a couple weeks I was like, oh, that's interesting, I haven't heard from him in a bit, right, and then it kind of just went on, and the other day, two weeks ago, he came back, and I was like, oh, they're The True Crime of the Week, right, I was so excited to see it in my lineup, so I like hit it, and he goes, yeah, it was supposed to take a two week hiatus, and I took four months, and I apologize, it's been a while, but I really.. this is what I didn't know. There's a lot going on that just.. it felt like I didn't feel like I could talk about true crime with all the heaviness that's going on, and I didn't have the words to say what I was feeling, and so I just took time for myself, and I was like, you know what, I actually hold nothing against him, because I actually found that to be even more honest. It was like I needed time off, because I'm a big fan of, like, I'm not going to share anything with the world unless I fully processed it, because then, and I learned this from Tiffany Haddish, from her book, The Last Black Unicorn, she's like, if you have fully processed it, then no matter what people say, it's just going to bounce right off of you, right, but if you haven't fully processed it and you shared it, you're gonna take whatever they're saying personally, or you're gonna be offended by it, or you're gonna get frustrated, or you're gonna feel like you defend yourself again. And so I'm often late to some of the topics that are online, because it takes me a little bit to go, well, how do I feel? Does that bother me? Why does it bother me? What's going on? And then when I've processed it, then I'll, then I'll share it, and I find, like, I think it's better to be human, and social media is a problem. Podcasting, oh my god, there's so many. I'm proud to say this podcast in the top 1% of all podcasts in the world, even with all the crap that's out there. But, like, I find that sometimes I'm like, oh, I should have more followers or more likes on the posts that I have based on my career, but I won't do the click bait stuff. I refuse to do these three exercises, help you trim your waist. It's like, no, if you're perimenopausal, good fucking luck, and your hormones.. like, I'm sorry, there isn't, you know? My girlfriend was like, "Just say these three, and then, and then get them to click and go sorry, there is none. Go talk to your doctor." I'm like, that is just going to get people mad, like that would piss me off. I felt lied to, so it's not my style. So, I think, you have to stay true to yourself, and sometimes that means just honoring the pause. But also, Adrian, I feel like that requires self-reflection. So, what are you doing? Because it feels like you're quite knowledgeable about yourself. What do you do to make sure you're checking in with yourself? Do you journal? What do you do?Adrian Starks 27:41  So, I would say that the first thing I do is I ask myself questions. I know that a lot of people talk about journaling, and that's part of it, but in all honesty, I just ask myself, what's going on? You just gotta sit down somewhere and just say, okay, what's going on? What am I not happy about? What do I want? That's the big thing. What do I want? And then you start thinking in your head, and then thoughts start rolling. And as those thoughts start rolling, write some of them out or record them. Either way, document them somewhere. Then I ask myself, what do I want to do? Not like what do I want to do in five years, because that's just too much processing in a time where you're just likeLesley Logan 28:23  I agree. Just here to harm me, but I do know what I have told my team is I want to be retired in 10, but what I want to do in five is like a whole different story.Adrian Starks 28:34  It is, and we put time frames on ourselves, or we put this limit of like, I got to be here in five years, it's a good marker to get you going, but it's not necessarily something you need to be focused on, like that's what you, that's how it's going to end up, like it could be a number of things that happens between that point that brings that goal about, but like I said, there's, and I have to be careful the word goal, because the goal I feel is very saturated too, and I use it in a different term, I use goal as this, g o a l, get out and live, do something. Yeah, I use that as that's what I use for it. It just teaches me that when I said something, it forces me to get outside of my box and start living a little bit. Scare yourself a little bit. Say I'm gonna go over here, I'm gonna fly over here, I'm gonna spend time over here, or I'm gonna do this, do something that's just out of your comfort zone to get you out of that rut. And then that's what I do. So, once I'm out of the rut, then I'm like, okay, now let's sit down and let's look at creating a plan. But the first thing is, you got to get yourself out of the rut, you got to do something just to move, move your body, so to speak, right? You tell your clients this, move your body, you got to move, move, move your thoughts out of this head, and to put it somewhere else, but I do that, so I do a lot of self-reflection of asking myself, what do I want, what's going on, and then I also remind myself of what I've been doing. You've got to give yourself a pat on the back, because whatever you've been doing, it's been working.Lesley Logan 29:58  Yeah.Adrian Starks 29:59  And a lot of times we have high expectations for ourselves because we live in a world of comparisons, and it's very easy to do that now. Because when you go online, it's not just people who are very successful out there. You can see your friends, your family, and you're like, "Oh, hey, they flew over here and went to the Bahamas. I'm stuck here in this area over here, I can't even do this." And then you start down-talking yourself.Lesley Logan 30:25  Yeah.Adrian Starks 30:26  This happens with people in relationships and business and social environments, and so I think be careful with comparisons.Lesley Logan 30:32  Yeah.Adrian Starks 30:33  So I make sure I don't do that. That's why I get away from social media sometimes. I'll spend maybe a few days detoxing. I won't even look at social media, and then I'll just kind of sit in the dark a little bit, so to speak, away from technology, and just ask myself questions. I do reading a lot. Reading is a big part of my life. You mentioned a book before, and I love reading books. I don't necessarily read the whole book. I do what I call check-ins, so I will find something in the book that resonates with me, and then I will reflect on thatLesley Logan 31:07  Yeah.Adrian Starks 31:08  Along with my other things.Lesley Logan 31:09  Yeah, I like the talking to yourself, because journaling for me is really great, but it's really easy for it to become a to-do list. Like I could be, "Oh, don't forget that." But if I am out walking my dog, I mean, maybe it's because I have ADHD and I'm an Aquarius, so I live in my head, but I have these interesting thoughts pop in and I'm like, where's that coming from? Why am I thinking that? What have I been doing? And I love the pat yourself on the back with what you did do, because I do think most people, the reason they get into comparison is because they've forgotten what they did do. It's why this podcast has a Friday episode where people have to share their wins, because I really think people need to realize there's a lot of wins. And we had someone in one of our groups who was like, she had her best friend's mom die three months ago, and her best friend died two weeks ago, and she's like, "How do I still work on my goals during this time?" And I'm like, you don't. You're going through something. Loss is real, and we all grieve very differently. And maybe someone can work on their goals because they're not tackling the grief right now, it's not hitting them, and it hits them in five years. I don't know, there's different things, but I can't sit here with the life experience I've had and the business coaching I've done and go, "Yeah, just do one thing a day." No. Did you shower and sleep today? That's great. Did you actually eat some food? Are your kids still alive? You're nailing it, like you're going through something. I think people aren't realizing that the Bahamas trips are not the win. The win is, especially when you're in something, the win is that you got up and you tried again today, you know? And I think reflecting on that is really important. I do think asking yourself what I want, that is, because I often think people ask themselves that five years ago but forgot to ask themselves four and three and two and today. And so they forget why they're doing what they're doing, because that's not what they want anymore, but they never checked in.Adrian Starks 33:03  They never checked in. And here's the catch: the answer won't come to you right away, and it's not supposed to. You're asking something deeper inside yourself that hasn't been listened to with all the noise. So, once you put that there and you say, "What do I want?" then overnight, who knows? You may wake up in the morning and you've got an idea about something, so that's coming from that deep part of you. And there was a Howard Thurman, he was the mentor to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and he said that the greatest and the longest and hardest journey ever is a journey inward. And we avoid that journey because we don't think there's anything there. The answer is inside of us. We just don't take out time to really probe and ask ourselves that question. We're very good about asking other people questions, but we don't want to ask ourselves questions, and that's something that has evolved with me. It's like, okay, you're good at asking questions and interviewing, but what about you? What's behind that skin of yours? What's going on? What's going on, dude? What are we doing today? You want to start checking in and being like, okay, what's really the problem here? You got irritated with this person, they didn't do anything to you. Then you got to pull yourself aside and say, okay, what's happening?Lesley Logan 34:16  Yeah.Adrian Starks 34:17  Why am I upset? And that's that self-reflection of like, okay, you're upset because there's a number of things that you're ignoring that you're putting to the side, and you're feeling like people don't see you because you don't see yourself.Lesley Logan 34:30  Yeah.Adrian Starks 34:30  So therefore you're putting that on other people, and that's where we have to be very careful with ourselves and just be patient and be kind to ourselves more often, because that was a problem I had. I held myself to very high standards, that I had to do this, I had to be this way, I had to be well-polished. That's why now you hear some curse words coming off of me, because I'm just being natural.Lesley Logan 34:54  Yeah.Adrian Starks 34:54  I mean, I can go off and say all these astute, know all these great words, and make myself look very articulate, blah blah blah blah, but at the end of the day, it's like, how am I showing up right now? That's the truth, and that's what people need to hear. So, I would say, yeah, talk to yourself, ask yourself questions, and be careful with who you ask information from.Lesley Logan 35:20  Yes.Adrian Starks 35:21  Because that's what gets you in trouble. And a lot of times with people working in environments where they may not be around the people that they choose to be around, I want to get to these people too, because a lot of people out there, they're working in environments they don't really want to be in, but they have an objective to get the hell out of there. But in the meantime, you're with people, let's just say the work world, seven, eight hours a day, and then you're dealing with those people, and then you're trying to get out of that environment. Well, you have to be careful what you listen to, how you conversate with them, and for goodness' sake, don't ask them for advice if they're not doing what you're doing, or if they haven't dove into what you're learning. Do not ask them, please, no, don't confide in them. I don't care how nice they are. There's this thing too that came up about nice versus kind.Lesley Logan 36:09  Yeah.Adrian Starks 36:10  And people get in trouble with this. It's like, okay, they're a nice person, great, but do they have good intentions towards you? And most likely, it's probably not.Lesley Logan 36:18  Yeah.Adrian Starks 36:19  A kind person, they just want to do good, they don't need nothing from you, right? So, a lot of people get mixed up in that, so be careful. I would say to people, when you're in that moment where you're vulnerable, the vulnerable state, guard that.Lesley Logan 36:32  Yeah.Adrian Starks 36:32  Be careful, be careful, be careful. And one more thing about the grieving that you mentioned: I lost my father a few years ago, and I'm still grieving because he had such a powerful presence in my life. So, grieving is not something we get over. We're supposed to learn to live with it. And I've cried multiple times, and every now and then, sometimes I catch myself, I'll just tear up, but you know what? I let it flow, because that's how he impacted me.Lesley Logan 36:59  Yeah.Adrian Starks 37:00  And for the person that you just mentioned, I would advise for them not to ignore that. If you have a moment and you're with somebody, tell somebody, "Hey, you know what? I'm having a moment right now. I need to step away." It's okay to tell people that.Lesley Logan 37:15  It's actually kind. It's kind because you're being super... you're actually being real authentic. You're feeling your feel, and you're letting people in like, "Hold on, I know we're supposed to have coffee right now, I just need to have a moment." And you can however you want to have that moment, go into your car, take the extra time, whatever that is. But I do think people think that they have to get over a loss like that, and the grief coaches that I've interviewed on this podcast, what I have really understood is that you don't. That's why grief is so hard. Your brain has to learn new rhythms and new patterns because that person's not there, and that person was part of a blanket that you've woven of your life, and so you're expecting that person where they repeat, and they're not. So you have to weave a new pattern for your brain. It takes time.Adrian Starks 38:00  It so takes time, and that's all we've got. At the end of the day, we only have time. And time doesn't go backwards, it doesn't go forward, it's just right there. And when we're grieving something, or it could be not just someone in our family, could be anything, could be a loss of an opportunity, that's a grieving thing. It could be a loss of a business or something. I mean, it could be anything. We have to just be mindful that we're human, and don't blame ourselves and don't beat ourselves up internally about it. We have to just know that this is something that's happened. Now, what can I do that can move me forward? And sometimes it's just going to take time. Patience is what we have to have.Lesley Logan 38:43  Yeah, also people don't realize that you could be excited about the next step, and there's still grief for what you left behind, you know? Like, I was so excited to move to Las Vegas, I still grieve that I closed a studio to do it, and I was very proud of that work, and I wasn't really actually ready to close that studio, but this is really exciting. So, something can be exciting, and there's still a loss that's there that you have to go, "Oh, what about that am I bummed about? Where..." You have to let those feelings happen. And I think that the more people actually self-reflect, the more they're going to find purpose in their life, they're going to figure it out. I find like people are looking to others to figure out their purposes, and I want to go back to your advice thing, because I really think people have to hear this 17,000 times. And I love that you brought up like you can have that job that pays the bills, but don't ask those people for advice. That might even be family too. I love mine, they listen to this pod, and sometimes I'll tell you personally, I'm not asking them for advice. They're not entrepreneurs, their face is not the business. If they say the wrong thing, they don't have people who will be disappointed, like hundreds of people, you know. So, they're not the best people for advice. Could I tell them things? Of course, that's different, telling people something, sharing your life with them is very different than asking them what to do. And so you really might need to take some time to write down who would be the best people in my life to ask advice from. If you don't have those people, like when I was first starting out, I didn't have money or mentors, I had to go, okay, I've listened to podcasts starting like 2012, 2013, I'm like, "This person makes a lot of sense. This is the person I'm going to infer advice from," and I would search their pods to find the thing that I thought might be an answer to my question. Sometimes it's that. Sometimes you don't even know the person you're asking advice from, but be intentional about that. I agree.Adrian Starks 40:33  Yeah, being intentional and just knowing that you're going to vibe with people a certain way. There are some people out there in the industry when I first started that I liked, and some that I didn't really vibe with. Didn't mean that there was anything against them, it's just that everyone's different. So, advice I would also give is that don't look at someone for their popularity, look for how they make you feel.Lesley Logan 40:55  Beautiful.Adrian Starks 40:56  Don't look at someone and say, "Oh, they've got millions of comments, they've got millions of likes. Oh, they must know a lot. Let me listen to them." No, nope, nope, nope, nope. That's something that's going to get your attention; it's designed that way.Lesley Logan 41:09  Yeah.Adrian Starks 41:10  How do they make you feel?Lesley Logan 41:12  Yeah.Adrian Starks 41:13  No, how do they make you feel? How do they sound when you listen to them? Could you listen to them all day? Could you listen to them in your times of need? How do they make you feel? That's the important thing of connection that we're missing today. We're so quick to look at the external, like, what has this person accomplished? Cool, then they're credible. Awesome, I'll follow. Awesome, I'll subscribe. Awesome, I'll comment.Lesley Logan 41:35  Yeah.Adrian Starks 41:35  They have a person over here, they may have a lot less, but they got a lot more to offer, and you're passing that up because you're just looking at numbers here. It's like I would encourage people that now is the time for us to find guidance that aligns with our purpose of being. And everyone, there's over how many people are on the planet right now? Lesley Logan 41:57  It's like 8 billion.Adrian Starks 41:58  8 billion people on a planet. I heard this stat one time. Out of 8 billion people, no matter what you do in life, 5% of people are not going to like you, they're not going to vibe with you, you're not going to connect with them. 5%. So, my math may be really off, I'm not going to even say it, but it's in the millions.Lesley Logan 42:20  Yeah.Adrian Starks 42:20  That you're gonna have a disconnect with people, no matter what you do. You could be well-polished, have everything together, and someone's gonna come around and be like, "Ah, they're phony." They're gonna talk some shit about you, because they just don't connect with you. They have no idea.Lesley Logan 42:35  Yeah.Adrian Starks 42:36  About your background, your pedigree, what you've done. They just want to.Lesley Logan 42:40  We all do it. We all do it, like you see something on your Instagram out of social, and you're like, just the first second, don't like it. Moving on.Adrian Starks 42:51  You move on. You're like, "Hey, I'm not interested in it. What is this? This is silly."Lesley Logan 42:57  Yeah.Adrian Starks 42:57  And that's part of us. We just have a natural sense of either we connect or we don't connect with certain things, and I think that in this time we're living in now, people are very overstimulated.Lesley Logan 43:07  Yes.Adrian Starks 43:08  There's so much information, there's so many solutions, there's so many offers, and we don't know where to look. It reminds you of like when you're sitting down and you have that night where it's a movie night, right? And you're just like, "Let me watch a movie, let me watch a TV show." And all of a sudden you got all these options, applications, and you're going from this application to this application, this application. Before you know it, it's like 30, 40 minutes later, and then you just give up and say, "You know what, damn it, just pick something, pick anything," because you're tired of looking.Lesley Logan 43:41  Yeah.Adrian Starks 43:41  And that's what's happening with us. We're just picking anything now we think is going to entertain us or bring us some type of joy.Lesley Logan 43:48  Yeah, because we can't handle being bored. Adrian, I could talk to you literally for more hours, but we do have to wrap this up. So we're gonna take a brief break, and then we're gonna find where people can find you, follow you, listen to your voice for many, many hours, and your Be It Action Items. Lesley Logan 43:59  All right, Adrian, where do you hang out? Where can they listen to your podcast?Adrian Starks 44:06  Okay, so you can listen to my podcast anywhere, pretty much. It's called Your Purposeful Life with Adrian Starks. And go to my website, adrianstarks.com. You can listen to the podcast from there. You can go to my YouTube channel, which has the videos. You can also listen to some audio, I have affirmations that I've been doing lately as well.Lesley Logan 44:25  Oh my god, do you have, if you don't, you should have a Patreon for affirmations because if people are paying for you to be a narrator, can you imagine every day you read me an affirmation or a mantra? I love that.Adrian Starks 44:39  I can do that, Lesley. Yes. They could go to adrianstarks.com. I just want to keep it simple for people, go to adrianstarks.com, all my social media handles are there, and you can just go wherever you choose and just be inspired and listen. And if you can, yeah, definitely subscribe to the podcast, it always helps. Share it whenever you can, but more importantly, just know this: that your purpose in life is not something you find, it's something that you do, and that is going to change, is going to evolve with time, and that's okay. Having self-doubt is okay, not knowing everything is okay. And now we live in a time where you're never too old, don't put an age on anything to start something new, or to pick up where you left off with something.Lesley Logan 45:27  Oh my god, those are Be It Action Items if I ever heard any. Like, you just led right in, and I'm obsessed with all of them. Great. Adrian Starks, I'm so happy we did this. We'll have to do this again. You'll have to be a person who keeps going back on, because you just have so much great wisdom. You guys, share this with a friend who needs to hear it. Share with a friend who's stuck on like, "What's my purpose?" They need to hear this, because it's like that Dr. Seuss book, like, Are You My Mother? You know, it's like that's not how you find it. It's got to be some self-reflection. So, thank you. We'll do this again, and until next time, my loves, Be It Till You See It.Lesley Logan 46:03  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 46:45  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 46:50  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 46:55  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 47:02  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 47:05  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of Christ the Center, Camden Bucey welcomes Randy Lee and Adam York from Hope Orthodox Presbyterian Church in Grayslake, Illinois, to discuss recent teaching trips connected with OPC foreign missions in Uganda and Ethiopia. Lee, a ruling elder, reflects on teaching personal finance at Knox School of Theology in Uganda, while York, pastor of Hope OPC, describes his work teaching and training pastors in Ethiopia. The conversation explores the global need for theological education, Reformed Academy's role in serving the church worldwide, and the biblical doctrine of stewardship. The discussion turns especially to faith-centered finance: why money must be brought under the lordship of Christ, how Scripture and the Reformed confessions shape our view of possessions, how prosperity theology distorts Christian hope, and why work, generosity, contentment, and vocation all belong to faithful stewardship before God. Participants Camden BuceyRandy LeeAdam York Resources mentioned Reformed AcademyOPC Foreign MissionsOPC Short-Term MissionsRon Blue Institute

In this episode of Christ the Center, Camden Bucey welcomes Randy Lee and Adam York from Hope Orthodox Presbyterian Church in Grayslake, Illinois, to discuss recent teaching trips connected with OPC foreign missions in Uganda and Ethiopia. Lee, a ruling elder, reflects on teaching personal finance at Knox School of Theology in Uganda, while York, pastor of Hope OPC, describes his work teaching and training pastors in Ethiopia. The conversation explores the global need for theological education, Reformed Academy's role in serving the church worldwide, and the biblical doctrine of stewardship. The discussion turns especially to Biblical principles of finance: why money must be brought under the lordship of Christ, how Scripture and the Reformed confessions shape our view of possessions, how prosperity theology distorts Christian hope, and why work, generosity, contentment, and vocation all belong to faithful stewardship before God. Watch on YouTube Chapters 0:00 Introduction from the Reformed Academy classroom 0:39 Global theological education, Uganda, and Ethiopia 1:21 Prayer for Peter Stafford and missionary medical work 3:21 Reformed Academy and the global need for theological education 5:09 Randy Lee's call to teach personal finance in Uganda 6:24 Adam York's trip to Ethiopia 7:28 OPC foreign missions and theological training 10:58 Preparing to teach faith-centered finance 13:25 Randy's business background 15:26 Biblical and practical resources for finance 18:21 Teaching finance and stewardship in the church 21:42 Stewardship beyond money 26:13 Reformed confessions and finance 29:11 Manifesting, prosperity theology, and biblical worldview 36:45 Five uses of money 40:14 Cultural differences and family obligations in Uganda 44:16 Need, want, generosity, and work 49:37 Lessons learned in Uganda 52:24 Opportunities to serve in foreign missions 53:47 Closing resources and Reformed Forum updates Resources mentioned Reformed Academy OPC Foreign Missions OPC Short-Term Missions Ron Blue Institute Participants: Adam York, Camden Bucey, Randy Lee

In this Fuck Yeah Friday episode, Lesley Logan pushes back on the assumption that looking busy means being unavailable, reframing healthy boundaries as a deliberate way to protect personal energy. She shares a proud team win from an intense season, celebrates listener milestones, and reminds new Pilates instructors that being a beginner is worth honoring, not hiding. The episode wraps with a grounding mantra to carry into the week ahead. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Lesley unpacks her annoyance at being told she's so busy.The boundaries behind the busy: her time, on her schedule.A team win from one of their most chaotic seasons.Community wins, from CEO-time checklists to month-two milestones.The beginner-not-imposter reframe every new instructor needs to hear.Episode References/Links:@on_point_pilates_studio – https://www.instagram.com/on_point_pilates_studio@_mariedecurtis – https://www.instagram.com/_mariedecurtisSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  It's Fuck Yeah Friday. Brad Crowell 0:01  Fuck yeah. Lesley Logan 0:02  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:48  Hello, Be It babe. How are you? Welcome to the Fuck Yeah Friday episode. These quick and dirty fun episodes, Brad said he's going to join me on them, and he will at some point. I think. They'll still be quick and dirty, but they're fun because we're just bringing a thing that we do from our communities into this, which is just that, instead of saying what inspired me from the internet this week, because the internet has been non-inspiring. Oh my god, I've made my algorithms just mostly beautiful nail designs, but somehow stupid shit keeps coming through. So we're keeping things light and fun, and if you're in our Agency community, which is where we business coach Pilates, instructors, or our eLevate community, which is where our internship program members are, then you will have this channel where you can complain about something that happened that day, and then you have to have a win immediately. So, since we already do wins here, just figured I'd also get to complain too, but I'll have a win afterwards. And you can send in your "I need a moment" and your win, but make sure you send in both, or just a win, because if you just send an "I need a moment," we will delete it. Okay. Lesley Logan 1:52  All right, so my moment is this, okay? I really don't like how people like to tell you how busy you are, because one, then I have to explain to them that I appear to be very busy, but I actually just have boundaries in place to protect my energy levels. And I love sharing that in a podcast format in a way that can help educate and give permission to people, but when it's a one-on-one situation, usually the people who are saying it are the ones who are kind of a little upset that they don't have you at their beck and call. And it's not that you don't have me, like you can't have me, you can absolutely have my attention and my time and my things, I just have boundaries for when that is due, when that can happen. And it's a little annoying because it makes when you say like, "Oh, you're so busy," it's like I'm in control of my day, my love. And so I guess my moment that I'm just, it's like I'm tired of people telling me how busy I am when I'm actually just organized and have boundaries in place, healthy ones. And sometimes I move them to do some things, and sometimes I can't move them to do some things, but I'm certainly not going to just move things around just so I'm available during the times that people want at their convenience, because it's not convenient for me. And guess what, you too are allowed to be busy, in air quotes, and have boundaries, and organized chaos, and then I have to fit myself into there, right? Like, we all get to do this, it's not just about me, we all can be like this. So that's what I'm a little irritated by this week, because I'm just tired of hearing it, and I'm tired of it being directed at like as if I don't want to spend time with someone, or I'm an asshole. No, no, I just know how much energy it takes to be me throughout the day, and I want to be me when you're with me. That's what I want. Lesley Logan 3:33  So, my win, you know, this win is going to be a bit of a team win, but I'm just really proud of our team. In the last couple of months, we've had a lot going on. We had a five-day website-not-working thing. We had one of our major team members end up needing to go into a hospital because of what's going on with their pregnancy. And then we had Brad and I gone for a month, and we had spring training, and we had the announcement of summer tour, and blah blah blah. And I will just say, like, while nothing went as planned, everything is going better, and I'm just really proud of the team and myself, like just really kind of sticking to the vision and the values, and sharing the wins with each other, and complimenting each other, and supporting each other, and stepping up for each other, and doing the best we can while we're down a person while they're on their amazing maternity leave. And I'm proud to say that, like, the wheels are still on the bus, the ship is still set to sail, and things are still going, and you really learn a lot about what is possible and what is going right, and what systems do you have in place. And instead of going, "Oh, what, we don't have a system for that?" it's like, "Oh wait, what happened?" Oh, just like just keeping their attitude and head on straight. And it's just, you know, so our win as a team is that, you know, six years of growing this team and putting systems in place have allowed us to be in a very intense season with a little bit more polite juggling than we want with one less person, but we're doing it and proud of us. And you know, this too shall pass, because that person's maternity leave won't be forever. Thank God. And I know we'll just celebrate when they come back, but I'm just really proud of what we've done. So that's my win. Lesley Logan 5:09  So now yours, you send them in to me. You can send them in to beitpod.com/questions. You can DM me on Instagram. Here we go. @on_point_pilates_studio has a couple, so personal practice has been strong, outside daily sunshine, and trained with my mentor on a one-to-one, and took a class, check, check. Admin wins: got a newsletter and a text blast out, submitted payroll to workers' comp, up to date. You know, it's nice when you get to do things for yourself, and you can check all the boxes of your CEO time. Way to go, Amanda. It was so fun to have you at the Pilates retreat as well, and I love that you are celebrating wins, both personal and professional. @_mariedecurtis: closed up my second month as a Pilates instructor. It still feels unreal, like a dream. Oh my god, I love that you're celebrating two months. I love it. I just had somebody Slack and say, "Well, I've only been teaching a little bit, so I feel like such an imposter," and it's like, yeah, because you're a beginner. You're not an imposter, you're just a beginner, and you should be a beginner, and a lot of us should be a beginner, and that will allow you to help your clients be beginners. And why is it bad to be a beginner? Not. So, congratulations, congratulations on your two months as a Pilates instructor. Thank you for letting us celebrate that with you. Lesley Logan 6:22  And now let's get a mantra for you to close out this week: I believe in myself fully. I believe in myself fully. I believe in myself fully. All right, loves, you know what to do until next time. Be it till you see it. Have a good day. Lesley Logan 6:40  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 7:23  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 7:28  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 7:32  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 7:39  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 7:42  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Hey Chumps welcome back! This week we got the OG's Together again.......... But it would seem that we only got about half an hour worth of recording out of the two hours of recording we did. So enjoy this weeks very short and late episode of OPC!

In part two of the Stuck Series, Lesley Logan unpacks why feeling stuck rarely has anything to do with a lack of motivation and what's really keeping you frozen. She breaks down how mismatched systems, unrealistic expectations, and unspoken fear quietly drain your energy, and offers a practical framework for moving forward. Find out how messy action, not motivation, is what finally gets you unstuck. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:The role outsourcing and systems play in getting unstuck.How motivation is fickle and why you can't rely on it.Why mismatched expectations vs. reality requires a rebuildNaming the fear underneath the freeze, plus building a backup plan.Tactile tools: two-minute rule, friction reducers, and messy action.Episode References/Links:The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin - https://a.co/d/0fgVJtiKTiny Habits by BJ Fogg - https://tinyhabits.comEp. 613 Habit Series 1 - https://beitpod.com/ep613Ep. 614 Habit Series 2 - https://beitpod.com/ep614Ep. 616 Habit Series 3 - https://beitpod.com/ep616Ep. 617 Habit Series 4 - https://beitpod.com/ep617Ep. 619 Habit Series 5 - https://beitpod.com/ep619Ep. 620 Habit Series 6 - https://beitpod.com/620Ep. 622 Habit Series 7 - https://beitpod.com/ep622Ep. 623 Habit Series 8 - https://beitpod.com/623Ep. 256 with Rory Vaden - https://beitpod.com/ep256Ep. 688 Outgrowing Series 1 - https://beitpod.com/ep688Ep. 689 Outgrowing Series 2 - https://beitpod.com/ep689Ep. 93 with Jillian Flodstrom - https://beitpod.com/ep93Ep. 589 with Brad Bizjack - https://beitpod.com/ep589Cambodia Retreat Waitlist - https://crowsnestretreats.comSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questionsIf you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  Taking the action, taking an action that helps get you unstuck, is the antidote to fear, and it brings clarity. Action brings clarity. That's the hardest thing about all of this, is we're all waiting for motivation, or for us to just like wake up one day unstuck, but truthfully, we have to take a step, take some messy action to actually get unstuck. Lesley Logan 0:21  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:04  Hi, Be It babe, welcome back. We're back on our stuck series, so we're getting unstuck today. So last episode we actually talked about what does feeling stuck actually feel like, and is it actually that we're stuck? And we kind of realized that we're not stuck, right? We might just be overwhelmed or lacking support or tools to get to where we want to go. We might have overwhelmed ourselves, or we might be putting pressure on ourselves, and that might be why we're feeling this way. It might be like being a perfectionist again. Sometimes it sneaks back up on us, right? So, the one thing that I hear people say that they need when they're feeling stuck is motivation, and we have to talk about motivation, because motivation is not the thing. Lesley Logan 1:37  I used to think that I'm just a super motivated person. When I was younger, I was like, "Oh my god, if I said I was gonna do something, I do it," right? And what you realize when you read The Four Tendencies book by Gretchen Rubin, you discover like, "Oh no, that's just a tendency I have." If I say I'm gonna do something, I do it, whereas other people need an accountability partner, or some people need to be able to make decisions. I'm gonna do what I said to do. So, as I got a little bit older and a bit in the stage of my life where I was running my businesses and there were things going on and I was struggling to do them, I thought, "Oh my god, I just need motivation to work on that." And because of the ADHD brain, I was probably just seeking dopamine hits, and that's how I was getting things done. As I worked on myself and got to know myself and stopped overwhelming and overloading myself with things to do, I actually just became a person who was, I don't know, whelmed. It wasn't motivation that I needed, but systems to help me continue to do the things that I said I wanted to do, and also with systems, making sure that I wasn't saying yes to things just because they were cool. Lesley Logan 2:41  So because I know me better, I have better boundaries, and because I understand how motivation works, I don't actually wait for the motivation to do the things. I understand how to set myself up so I can take one step at a time, celebrate what I did do, and then go again the next day. I'm no longer a person who's like, "I have to get my to-do list done every day," because that pressure actually slows me down, and it makes me not feel like I'm me doing the thing, right? I'm not a patient person. So, in case you're like, "Oh, I wish I was you," I'm not a patient person. So, if I can do it, if I can take action on the things that I want to do, if I can help myself move the needle one millimeter forward in a day, you can do it too, right?Lesley Logan 3:27  Because we don't need motivation. And if you didn't hear our episodes in December of 2025 about habits, where I talked about motivation as a very fickle girlfriend, and you can learn more about this in BJ Fogg's book, Tiny Habits, but essentially motivation is needed when something is very difficult to get started. Like when you turn on a car, you have a starter, right? I think that's what it is, and it helps get the car started. You also use more gas to get the car started, right? Planes are the same thing. And so you need motivation to get rolling, but then once you're rolling, you don't use as much gasoline, as much energy, or you don't need those things, right? So, motivation is best to be used when something is a bigger deal, or is going to require more of us than we are used to, but then once we have gotten started, ideally we're not waiting on motivation to just keep the ball rolling. That's where systems come into place, right? Lesley Logan 4:21  Motivation also is not something you can just go up, tap in, hit the motivation button, "I'm ready to go." Motivation is actually a fickle friend. It's kind of like my ADHD focus mode without Adderall. Yes, sometimes it hits, and I'm like, "Oh my god, I just got so much done," but mostly it doesn't ever hit at the time that I want it to hit. It's not going to hit because something's due tomorrow; it hits because of my ADHD, but it won't hit like, "I want to do it now and not under pressure." It doesn't hit then, right? So I can't wait for it. I talked about this in our habit series, motivation, you have to think of as like a really great friend that you go to parties with, but that you don't actually rely on to pick you up at an airport to take you to an important meeting. You would never do that. Lesley Logan 5:03  So, if the tasks that you are asking yourself to do don't match your energy, you are likely doing things that do not bring you joy, and if they did before, they don't now. Oftentimes we're doing things that we think we should be able to do, or we think we have to do, or we don't have the money to delegate it out, but just because you have done that before doesn't mean you have to keep doing it. What I will just say is part of getting out of a rut is looking at the responsibilities you feel you are supposed to be the person to take those on and actually ask yourself, "Is this something that I need to be doing? Does this have to be done right now? Does it have to be done today?" Because it may be time to outsource some of the things that you need to happen in your life, so that you can have the time and energy to do what you said you wanted to do. Lesley Logan 5:56  If you come on my retreats, oftentimes I'm like, "Hey, we can outsource. You can have groceries delivered. You can just save all your time driving to the grocery store, going up and down the aisles. You could just have them delivered. You can have a housekeeper clean your house, right, especially for the deep cleans." But honestly, we have that every week. Why? Because one, I like a clean house, because I want to work in that environment, but I don't like to clean the house. Because I don't like to clean the house, it makes me exhausted when I do it, and then it's done, I have this clean house now. Guess what? I don't want to work in it because I'm exhausted. So the tasks that you have on your plate don't match the energy, and then they're draining you, and that makes you feel stuck. So you can come on a retreat with me in Cambodia to learn how to figure out what you should get off of your list, but if you don't want to wait till that, I just want you to take a look.Lesley Logan 6:43  What are all the things that you think you should be doing? Are there tools now that would make those things easier? Pick the one that you least want to do, you avoid doing, and that lives rent-free in space in your head, right? How can we get rid of it, or get someone else to support us on that? Your systems that you're relying on often aren't matching the brain that you operate with. I have ADHD, and in order to get my work done, I have support from a psychiatrist. So, I do take an Adderall, and when I take it, I actually can focus, and then I can actually use the tools that I have put in place to help me get my work done. I definitely can tell days when I have it versus when I don't. I don't take it on my days off, but I can tell that trying to do the things that I need to get done on a workday without it, I end the workday more exhausted and wondering, "Why do I do what I do? Am I doing the right thing? Am I aligned? Do I even love this job anymore?" because it took so much out of me to get it done than when I have the support that my brain requires, right?Lesley Logan 7:46  But whether or not you have ADHD, the more you can understand how you think, how you operate, and have systems that match that, you know? If you are making to-do lists and never using them, then that's not helping you. You need to figure out a different tool. If you are making the projects that you have to do on your to-do list so big "build a website" of course, you're gonna feel stuck. That's a humongous task that will not get crossed off for four to six weeks at least. So we have to figure out, what are the ways that you operate? How do you meet expectations? I mentioned it before, but Gretchen Rubin's book, The Four Tendencies, is an excellent read. It helps you understand how do you meet the expectations you have, or that others have, and then when you know that, you can put systems in place. Lesley Logan 8:24  For example, Brad is a rebel, and Brad will say, "Oh, I'm going to get up early tomorrow and do yoga." Okay, but if I wake him up and go, "Hey, you wanted to get up early this morning and do yoga," he will say, "No, I don't want to do it," because he wants to have choice. He must have choice, right? Because he's a rebel, that's how you meet the expectations. So, if I say, "Hey, babe, yesterday you had mentioned that you wanted to get up and do some yoga, so did you still want to do that, or did you want to sleep for a little longer?" When I present it to him like that, he always is like, "Oh, no, I'm going to do the yoga," because he does want to do it, but he wants to have choice, right? If you're an obliger, you are someone who needs accountability to get things done, so you need to find ways in your systems to have accountability to get things done, so you get them done. I'm an upholder, so if I said it I'm going to do it, which is also why if I say no to you, it's not because I don't love you, it's because I know I won't be able to get it done. I will never backtrack on an agreement, right? So if your systems don't match how you operate, then you are going to get stuck and overwhelmed. Lesley Logan 8:25  Okay, another way to get out of the rut is matching your expectations with reality, so you're not unmotivated, you're mismatched. Like if you have an expectation like, "Okay, tomorrow I'm gonna get up early. I know I'm not a morning person, but I'm gonna get up early, and I'm gonna go run two miles." But one, you're not a morning person, and you haven't run in a year. You're not doing those things, and that's going to feel like, "Oh my god, I just wasn't motivated." No, you are not that person. You are not someone who wakes up early. You are not someone who runs.Lesley Logan 9:57  So we actually have to make sure that the expectations that we have placed on ourselves actually match the reality of what systems we have in place today, right? So, if you're like, "I want to make 10,000 a month with my business," but you're not even making 1,000 a month, those expectations don't match reality. You actually have to first make 1,100, and 1,200, 2,000, and then 5,000. You can have the goal that "I want to make 10,000 a month," but you can't do it next month if you have never done it before, right? They don't match reality, so you basically have put pressure on yourself and overwhelmed yourself, and put yourself in a stuck position. Versus if you took time to go, "Okay, what are some realistic expectations that I can place on myself that I can do this week, and then I could do tomorrow and I can do today?" working backwards, then you actually don't need motivation; you'll have broken things down in a way that allows you to get them done. Lesley Logan 10:51  So, I will say, like the ADHD, we talked about this a moment ago, but yes, it has that super focus mode, but like the motivation, we can't wait for it. So what I highly recommend to my ADHD people is you really can't lean on motivation. You can't wait for those focus modes. You have to learn your brain, and you have to learn the systems that help you. And there are some great experts out there. You know, Brad piles the mail all in this one place, so every day we pick up the mail, that's a win for an ADHD couple, and we put it in a pile. We don't put it anywhere, we put it in a pile, and then on Mondays he actually goes through it, right? That's the system that works. I mean, you'd be surprised, I know you think you don't operate well with systems, but when you get the systems that work for you, they work for you, and so it really helps you remain unstuck and not leaning on motivation or focus mode to help you like clean everything. Because what we know you're gonna do is organize a cupboard and then not have cleaned anything, and now we have a messier kitchen. I know. Hello, I know me. Lesley Logan 11:49  Fear is another real reason to feel stuck. So, if you're listening to this because the outgoing episode really got your attention, you've outgrown an old version of yourself, but you're feeling stuck right now because of fear, fear of loss, fear of responsibility, fear of failure. Right, that's real. It's real, and it's important that we don't diminish the fear that we have. If that is what the problem is, because anyone telling you there's nothing to be afraid of, it's not helpful, right? It's like someone telling me like, "Calm down." You're like, "Do you want to see me calm down?" So, what I know about fear in the studies that I've done on it, the really important things that you can do is, one, call it out. What are you afraid of? What are you afraid is going to happen? If you don't want to say it out loud, write it down. If you don't know what it is, but you know there's a fear there, then just keep writing until it comes out, right? What is this thing that I'm afraid is going to happen? "I'm afraid no one's, everyone's gonna... no one's gonna like me." No one is gonna like you. And then you're like, "Why am I afraid about that? Why do I think that's gonna happen?" right? Like, take some time to really understand why you have this fear, because if you can actually identify it, then we can create an exit strategy, right? A backup plan. Because the truth is that nothing ever is as bad as or as good as we want or fear. "Oh my god, if I do this thing, I'm gonna die." Well, that's not happening, because you just listened to this. "Oh my god, if this goes so well, I'm gonna have a million dollars." Well, maybe you do, but most of the time we land somewhere on a spectrum, and so take some time to like really truly go, "What am I actually afraid of?" Lesley Logan 13:22  So you can have a backup plan, so then you can move forward, right? Because these practical shifts, they actually help, because an all-or-nothing mindset is what's keeping you stuck, right? Like, this practical... like, "Okay, I'm afraid that if I do this thing, I'm gonna lose everything." You're gonna lose everything, okay? All of it. Like, if this thing goes wrong, you're not gonna have any of this to back up on? Then you start to realize, "Well, no, actually, I'll just lose $1,000. I'll lose $3,000." Okay, that's a legit fear. I don't want to lose $3,000 ever. I don't want to lose $3. So, what things can help me realize if I'm on the wrong path? What are some signs or KPIs that could help me before it goes the wrong way, so I could stop it and turn the ship around? Or if that does happen, then what will I do? Because when you have that, all of a sudden you have clarity. Because get this: action is the antidote to fear. Taking the action, taking an action that helps get you unstuck is the antidote to fear, and it brings clarity. Action brings clarity. That's the hardest thing about all of this: we're all waiting for motivation, or for us to just wake up one day unstuck, but truthfully, we have to take a step, take some messy action to actually get unstuck. Lesley Logan 14:35  So, I did want to give you guys a couple of tactile things, like some "be it" things. So, one is like a two-minute rule. Sometimes a two-minute rule can be, "I can feel this way for two minutes and I'm gonna get started," or "I can do this thing over here in two minutes at a time, or I'll get started." That's helpful. Also, you can break down all the tasks you want to do into two minutes. We had Jillian Flodstrom on as a guest, and I think she said it in the podcast, but she might have done it in a webinar for us. Anyway, you should listen to her episode. She said like, "I break all tasks into something I can do in two minutes, because that makes it really easy. I'm waiting two minutes, I can do one thing. Okay, I can do this next thing," right? Lesley Logan 15:08  Reducing friction, so this is going to be just like taking a moment to see how many things that you have going on that are actually causing friction in your life. Are you trying to get too much stuff done in a day, or in a morning? Are you trying to be a morning person? How can we reduce that friction, so that it's just a little easier to get things done, right? Maybe it's the deadlines that you placed on yourself. How can you do that? Or perhaps it's like, "Okay, I cook for everybody all week long, but I just can't." Okay, how do we ask for help? So, just reduce the friction. And this is crazy, I know some people at the Be It Till You See It podcast are gonna say this, yeah, lower your expectations. Lower expectations of yourself, especially because sometimes we set the bar at 150%. Honey, you can be at 100% and you're still gonna slay more than most people. Most people don't take action. Most people have the same thoughts every single day. So, if you could just actually operate on an actual scale of 100%, not 150%, you would be unstuck tomorrow, yesterday, right? Because you don't need to do the whole thing, you don't need to be able to do all the things that will help get you unstuck.Lesley Logan 16:19  You just need to begin to do one thing, take one step. And I said this already a couple of times, take this messy action, because if motivation isn't the thing that's going to get us moving, because it's not, I mean, it might get us started on something really difficult, but it's not going to be the day-to-day, then what we actually need is messy action. And you hear that in every intro of all of our podcasts: "take messy action." And the reason is because you get some good feedback. So we will have some messy action episodes coming up for you soon in a future series, but until then, I'd love for you to take a moment, maybe revisit the first episode, and really identify like, "Am I actually stuck or am I in overwhelm, or do I have outdated systems, or do I just need a little bit of clarity to get started on this next thing? Or am I afraid?" Once you have identified how you're stuck and what's going on, you can take the first next steps to anything, and that means being it until you see it. Lesley Logan 17:17  All right, my loves, send this to a friend who needs to hear it. Thank you so much for being you. Send in any questions or aha moments at beitpod.com/questions, and until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 17:27  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 18:10  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 18:14  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 18:19  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 18:26  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 18:29  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Automate 2026 lands in Chicago next week, and Dave and Vlad break down how to work the show floor, where to network, and what to expect from their live booth demos.Automate is the largest automation trade show in North America, and a four day event rewards preparation. Dave and Vlad share tactics refined over five years of attending together. The floor opens at 10:00 AM on Monday, and registration lines have swung from a five minute wait to nearly two hours, so arriving early matters. Monday morning and Thursday are the quietest days to reach specific vendors, while Tuesday and Wednesday draw the heaviest crowds. The hosts also favor the official show app over a paper map for finding booths and session rooms across multiple halls.The real value of a show like Automate often lives in the networking. Dave points to the A3 networking event on Monday, a ticket of roughly 45 dollars, and the Manufacturing Champions happy hour on Tuesday organized by Chris Luckey and Jake Hall. Vlad's advice is structural: build a checklist before you arrive. He researches each company, finds the booth number, and tracks every connection in a spreadsheet so the week becomes a series of deliberate meetings instead of aimless wandering. For anyone with ten or more booths on their list, setting up meetings in advance is the highest leverage move you can make.The centerpiece of the conversation is the live demo Vlad built for the Teguar booth. It pairs a Rockwell CompactLogix PLC with an Ignition gateway running on a Teguar industrial PC, and it simulates a food and beverage packaging line with five assets: filler, capper, labeler, case packer, and palletizer. The line overview screen shows real machine states including faulted, starved, backed up, and running, and the whole point is to make the bottleneck visible. When the case packer needs six bottles from the labeler but the labeler cannot keep pace, you watch the downstream asset flip between starved and running in real time. It is a practical illustration of why line balancing and constraint analysis drive real ROI on a production floor.Under the hood the stack is modern. The Teguar IPC runs Ubuntu with Portainer managing containers for Ignition 8.3, Ignition 8.1, and a MariaDB database for alarm history. Ignition 8.3 ships new drivers for Rockwell, Siemens, Mitsubishi, and Omron controllers along with OPC and MQTT, and each asset carries ten randomized faults written in both Ignition and PLC logic. Vlad built it for everyone from engineers to the decision makers running SCADA and MES projects. Dave and Vlad will also shoot content at the Siemens booth on Tuesday and the Horner Automation booth on Wednesday, and Dave is moderating a Wednesday session on software defined automation and the factory of the future.Timestamps0:00 Welcome and Automate 2026 preview1:50 First timer tips and arriving early for registration3:10 Networking events worth attending: A3 and Manufacturing Champions4:40 Building a trade show checklist to maximize your time7:00 Manufacturing Hub at the Siemens and Horner booths9:50 Vlad's live production line demo at the Teguar booth15:40 The line overview screen and five packaging assets17:30 Fault handling and finding the bottleneck20:10 Inside the stack: Ubuntu, Portainer, Ignition, MariaDB23:50 Random fault simulation and PLC driver options27:00 Who should come see the demo29:40 Vendors Vlad is tracking and closing thoughtsReferencesAutomate 2026: https://www.automate.orgIgnition by Inductive Automation: https://inductiveautomation.comHorner Automation: https://hornerautomation.comAbout Your HostsVladimir Romanov is a co-host of The Manufacturing Hub Podcast and the founder of Joltek, an independent manufacturing and industrial automation consulting firm specializing in modernization strategy, digital transformation, and workforce development. Joltek works with manufacturers and investors to de-risk modernization and build the internal capability to sustain results.Connect with Vlad: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vladromanov/Want to go deeper? Vlad and the team at Joltek have covered related topics here:Connecting an Allen Bradley PLC to Ignition: https://www.joltek.com/blog/connecting-allen-bradley-plc-ignitionManufacturing Line Speed Optimization: https://www.joltek.com/case-study/manufacturing-line-speed-optimizationDave Griffith is a co-host of The Manufacturing Hub Podcast and founder of Capelin Solutions, an industrial automation firm helping manufacturers adopt smart manufacturing technology. He brings 15 years of experience in industrial automation and digital transformation.Connect with Dave: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davegriffith23/Subscribe to Manufacturing Hub: https://www.manufacturinghub.liveLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/manufacturing-hub-networkYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ManufacturingHub

In this first installment of the Stuck Series, Lesley Logan, Pilates coach and host of Be It Till You See It, breaks down what feeling stuck actually means and why so many of us misdiagnose it. She offers a clearer way to read those frustrating in-between moments, when the old isn't working, and the new hasn't fully clicked yet. Tune in to find out why motivation isn't what will get you unstuck. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:The difference between being stuck, overwhelmed, or just outgrowing yourself.How identity lag traps you between your old and new self.Why the habits that kept you safe as a kid now keep you stuck.Why your brain isn't broken when ADHD makes you feel stuck.How to reframe stuck as recalibration so you keep moving forward.Episode References/Links:GA Practical Wedding by Meg Keene - https://a.co/d/00zpWr2nEp. 688 Outgrowing Series 1 - https://beitpod.com/ep688Ep. 689 Outgrowing Series 2 - https://beitpod.com/ep689Ep. 613 Habit Series 1 - https://beitpod.com/ep613Ep. 614 Habit Series 2 - https://beitpod.com/ep614Ep. 616 Habit Series 3 - https://beitpod.com/ep616Ep. 617 Habit Series 4 - https://beitpod.com/ep617Ep. 619 Habit Series 5 - https://beitpod.com/ep619Ep. 620 Habit Series 6 - https://beitpod.com/620Ep. 622 Habit Series 7 - https://beitpod.com/ep622Ep. 623 Habit Series 8 - https://beitpod.com/623Ep. 256 with Rory Vaden - https://beitpod.com/ep256Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questionsIf you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  Stuck is not a personality trait. It is not something that represents who you are. You're not a stuck person, but it is a moment of misalignment, and it does mean that we have to get in there like a mechanic would to see what is the actual problem.Lesley Logan 0:14  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:57  All right, Be It babe. As promised, we have a series on what to do when we're stuck. How do we be it till we see it when we are feeling stuck? And I guess the question is to be like, are we saying this like, "I feel stuck right now," or do you have ideas and you have goals, but you're just not taking action steps? Lesley Logan 1:13  To get into the stuckness, we have to kind of just talk about what is being stuck, right? And how often are we calling this out on ourselves? Because if it's just been a few unproductive days, are you actually stuck? Are you overwhelmed? Right? Did you miss a goal, and that's why you're saying you're stuck, or are you stuck because you don't know how to take the next step? And that's perfectly okay. Lesley Logan 1:33  I actually think that sometimes we're stuck because we've done all that we can do on our own, and we need support, and we need help. Are you saying you're stuck because you're comparing yourself to someone else? So the important thing here is you didn't wake up stuck. You might have been labeling yourself as stuck, and I think that we have to identify what kind of stuck are we? The labeled version that we're stuck because we're comparing ourselves to others, or the reality that we've gone as far as we can and we need help, we need to ask for that. Lesley Logan 2:00  So we kind of thought about this because we've had some great questions come in, and we had some great guests and some wonderful talking points, and it's like, okay, I've done all these things, but I'm kind of stuck on this next thing. And so just thought, well, it'd be fun, let's talk about the outgrowing theory. Because sometimes we are working when we have outgrown ourself, and we are taking action to be the next version of ourselves, and we're working on being it until we see it, we can get stuck. I mean, you've evolved, right? You have new awareness, new understandings, new dreams, new ways of how you want to operate the system that is who you are, right? And you are letting go, or trying to, of the person that you once were, and sometimes when we're in that in-between, we get stuck, right? Lesley Logan 2:40  You ever done the update on your phone, and then things don't work the way they were supposed to, and the old way is not really functional either, but the new way you're going like, "Were the buttons moved over here? Hold on, why are the buttons over here now?" Some of them get stuck because we went looking for where the old buttons were, but they're in the new button setting, and so when you're in that stuck place, it can be full frustrating, and I just want you to know you're not alone. I often get stuck in some things. I will just say, "I feel really stuck right now." All of a sudden, my brain goes, "Hold on, are we stuck? We got this." Lesley Logan 3:15  So, what stuck actually is, I think it's important that we talk about what is it. Like an identity lag? Maybe we know where we want to grow and do and be, but we aren't feeling like we're there yet. By the way, I just want you to know, as a habits coach, one of the hardest things you can do is change habits that are psychological. Like if you have a habit of talking negatively about yourself, you don't want to do that anymore. It's really one of the hardest habits to unravel, and so it's not surprising to me that when we are wanting to be a more positive person, or a more joyful person about the things we do, and see more possibility, and ask for more help, because of the things we have to do in our brain to become the new person, it's easy for us to hang back in the old system, in the old ways, and have this identity lag, like, I want to be here, but I'm still feeling I'm over here. Lesley Logan 4:06  We can be stuck because our nervous system is just overwhelmed, right? I think a lot of us take on a lot of things, too much at one time. We have this all-or-nothing mentality in this world that we live in, and so we can actually get stuck because we're overwhelmed. I see this in some of the teachers in my eLevate program. They get stuck on what to do or what to study next, because they're trying to be perfect at all of the things, rather than just being in their body and acknowledging where they're at.Lesley Logan 4:37  We also get stuck when there's just too many options, and we don't have a clarity on what to do. Like, oh my gosh, you could do this, you could do that, you could do that. It's like, "I'm overwhelmed," and so then we feel stuck. Right? I remember we were planning our trip to Europe, we were like, "What do we want to do?" and it's like we have nine days, we could do anything. Europe is big, and I haven't been to so many places, and I could go to this place, or I go to that place. And I was just so overwhelmed that I felt stuck, and we didn't even plan the whole vacation until kind of right before, because we had to just get clear on, okay, hold on, what is it that we want to do? Lesley Logan 5:12  You know, when we were planning our wedding, we got recommended a great book called A Practical Wedding, and she was talking about all these different questions you can ask yourself, so you can really take the overwhelm out of the wedding planning and actually take action on what you're going to do. But a lot of people get stuck in that because there's just too many options. And we can get stuck when our old systems and our old habits just don't work anymore, right? My goodness, the way our bodies work in our 20s versus how in our 40s, ladies, you could be doing the things that used to make you feel good and used to make you feel energized, and now they just don't work anymore, and so you could just feel like you're in a rut. So it's important to take note that stuck is not a personality trait, it is not something that represents who you are, you're not a stuck person, but it is a moment of misalignment, and it does mean that we have to get in there like a mechanic would to see what is the actual problem. And sometimes that means troubleshooting.  Lesley Logan 6:10  In your stuckness, when you are stuck, it's important that we also take a moment to see how did we get here. Like a gentle, hold on, how do we get here? Right? Sometimes if you're road tripping and you get a little lost, you think, "Hold on. How did I make a wrong turn?" and backtrack a little bit, right? So, when you are trying to see how did I get here, one thing you cannot do is blame. That is not going to work, I promise you. We talked about that in the outgrowing series. You cannot shame and blame yourself into being unstuck, or it will actually just put you further in stuck rut mode, and you'll actually just feel bad about yourself at the same time. No one wants to do that. Lesley Logan 6:43  So we got to wherever we were because of so many things. One, how you are raised, what you're taught to focus on, what you caught that you should focus on, what you caught that you should behave like. For example, I definitely was rewarded as a child when I would do things that were like above and beyond to support people. So I just would go above and beyond all the time, and I would say yes to things without even asking myself if I want to be doing this, and I would just put myself out there to help people all the time. Because I would help my mom, I would help other people, I would get all these affirmations, words of affirmation, my love language, and I would then get to feel seen. "Oh my gosh, this is Lesley. She does all these amazing things for us," and so then, as an adult, without thinking about how these yeses would make me feel, I would just say yes all the time, right? So I got myself to overwhelm and stuck several times in my adult life because I was doing the things that helped me feel safe and seen as a child. These are things that you don't even realize you're doing. It takes therapy to look back and see, how did I get here? How do I keep working for the same type of person? How do I keep dating the same type of person? How do I keep ending up with friends who are all the same? Right? It's because of how we are making decisions and taking actions, and it's all based on things that were put into our systems, our system updates, when we were growing up. And so really, when you can figure that out, it's really empowering, right? Lesley Logan 8:09  Because of that, when we were children, we optimize for safety, not alignment. As a kid, we don't know what our goals are, right? So we do things that make us feel safe in the environment. So if you grew up in a place where when you were perfect, it felt like you could control the environment, then you would just be perfect all the time. "If I could just be perfect all the time, then no one's gonna yell and nothing's gonna get bad." But then what happens is, you just try to be perfect all the time, and that's exhausting, by the way. It's not in alignment with what you're wanting to do in your life. People are supposed to make mistakes, you're not gonna learn things that way, and of course, you're gonna feel stuck because you're like, "I should be able to do this," but you didn't get to make the mistakes along the way to help you learn how to do it. Lesley Logan 8:46  We also stay in things that work; we stay past expiration dates, right? We stay in them because there's certainty. So we get stuck often because it worked back then, so it's gonna work now, or, "I should be so grateful that I'm in this situation that I'm in. Other people have it worse." So sometimes we just stay because things work. So, if one of those things really goes, "Oh, that's kind of me, that's kind of why I get stuck," it's important that we don't say, "Oh, I've messed up, I messed up my whole life." No, I mean, that is like a thing. My gosh, my brain will catastrophize. Like when I became a Pilates instructor, and I met people who had been teaching Pilates longer because they're the same age as me-ish, but they learned about Pilates before, I remember going, "Oh my god, I've missed out on so many years that I could have been doing Pilates." Because the fact that I discovered Pilates at the age of 22, at the time when it was only four years legal to say the word Pilates, is amazing, and I'm over here going, "I messed up, I should have known about this sooner," right? But we didn't mess up. We built our lives around what worked until they don't work anymore, and now the stuck feeling is just because things in your life don't work anymore. You've outgrown, and you're in the stuck mode because you're in this between, and we have to figure out what's going to work. Lesley Logan 10:11  And I'll never forget, in 2013 I was single, I wasn't couch-surfing anymore. At this point, I'd found the place I wanted to live, I was transferred, given more responsibility, blah blah blah, and somebody suggested that I do this birth chart, I don't know, futuristic, not psychic thing, because it's based on birth charts, but just get some astrological help. So I did this, and the person was like, "You have gone as far as you can on your own." And I was like, "What?" He's like, "Yep, you've actually done a great job, you've gone as far as you can on your own, and all the things that you are wanting to do in this life, you must do with other people." And that is something, by the way, I am not a person who asks for help. I just can do it all on my own, I've done it all on my own, I've moved myself multiple times in my life by myself. I can do it, right? But hearing that, I was like, "Oh, okay. So I built this life that has worked for me, and if I want to continue on, I'm going to need to get some help." And you know what? He wasn't wrong. Because here I had got a new place, decorated really beautifully, got promoted at my job and all this stuff, and I still felt like something is missing. It's missing, and so I started seeking out and looking for opportunities to partner up with different people, not necessarily in business, but just on projects and, oh, maybe I could hire that person to help me, right? Lesley Logan 10:12  Okay, so I do think before we continue on the stuck thing, we do have to chat a little bit about ADHD, right? We do need to talk a little bit about ADHD, and the reason is, my ADHD loves, we sometimes equate being stuck with just not having the dopamine high that we're constantly seeking. Okay, so as ADHD people, we often say yes to 17 things, because our brains think a mile a minute. We're three steps ahead of everybody, and we can take it all on, and also we like the dopamine highs. And what happens is, especially if you're in your 40s and you didn't know you had ADHD, at some point your systems no longer work. And not only as you go through perimenopause do you lose your hormone help there, but you already were lacking that in your ADHD brain, and so now you feel a little bit stuck and overwhelmed because your systems aren't working, and you said yes to a lot, and the systems that used to help you don't work. So we have to be thoughtful and kind to ourselves.Lesley Logan 10:12  If you are someone who's listening with ADHD, I highly recommend getting some help to understand how your brain works so that you can not only get unstuck and ditch the overwhelm, but truly learn how to work with it. It's not like me versus my ADHD brain at all, but it's like, okay, hold on, I know in order for me to do these things, I need these tools, so I need to set myself up for success. And I'll never forget, my psychiatrist said, "I can give you the drugs to help you focus, but if you keep saying yes to too many things, the drugs won't help. It's a you problem." And I really think that if you are feeling stuck right now because you're doing too many things, because your ADHD brain is like, "Yeah, I want that, and I want that, I want that dopamine hit, that dopamine hit," we need to find ways to pause or delete or delegate or delay some of the things that we're working on, and just be honest about that. Because your brain isn't broken; it's just overstimulated and undersupported, right? So we need tools. So if you're stuck because of ADHD, I see you. We'll get some experts on here, but also do take a moment to recognize what is the ADHD versus what is stuckness versus what is overwhelm, so that you're not labeling things that are inaccurate and then feeling more stuck because you don't have the tools to work because we got mislabeled, right?Lesley Logan 11:21  Okay, last thing I just want to say is I think if you are an oldest daughter who is listening to this, right, firstborn of anything, there is a tendency to do a lot and should on ourselves, like, "I should be doing more of this," or, "I used to be more productive, what is wrong with me that I can't do this anymore?" And I will just say that, one, we're not the person that we were 20 years ago, so yeah, I cannot take on the things that I did 20 years ago. Also, because I know better, I know what I am capable of, I know what I'm good at, I know more of what I want, I know more of what I don't want, and so please don't should on yourself—because we had Rory on our podcast and he said it makes you a should-head, right? So, you want to make sure that you are not stuck because of the extra pressure that you're putting on yourself. Life is hard enough, there's enough pressures. And while you used to be more productive, that doesn't mean you have to stay at that production level. We don't expect people who are older than us to produce at the same level that they did when they were 20. We're like, "Oh my god, you're retired, go be retired." That's the same for you. So, double-checking, are you stuck or overwhelmed because you're putting too much pressure on yourself about what you actually can handle at this moment? Lesley Logan 15:31  You know, do you have a schedule or tools? I mean, we live in a tech age, there's a lot of ways that we can get reminders and prompts, or get help. I mean, my goodness, if you're like, "I just wish I was a better cook," ChatGPT is actually fucking great for recipes. I'm not gonna lie, I don't cook, but Brad gets some good ones on there. So, if you're thinking that pressure creates movement, it doesn't. My ADHD people, I know that pressure—last-minute pressure, that procrastination—gets you feeling like, "I finally have the pressure I need to get going," but for a lot of us it actually just creates paralysis. That pressure just causes us to just, there's too much, I don't know what to do right now, and so you know, yeah, if you know how to use your pressure to get your work done, great, but if it's actually making you feel stuck, well, then it's no longer a good tool for us. Lesley Logan 16:25  So we're going to talk about stuck in our next episode, which is like, okay, how do we realign? Do we need motivation? Like, how do we actually get unstuck? We're going to do that, but before we do that, I just want to say, what if you're not stuck? What if you're just recalibrating? What if you are in process, and because you're in process, it requires unraveling of things that no longer work and testing things that will? You're not going to always get it right, so you might be like, "I no longer want to use this tool, do this thing, it's going to be this tool," and that tool doesn't work. You're like, "Well, now I'm stuck." No, you actually have information: this tool doesn't work. Why doesn't it work? That's information. And then you can find a new tool. "Oh, this tool, I like this, but not that." It's just information, so you're not stuck, you're recalibrating. You're not behind, you are in an update, right? You're not actually going backwards. When we're stuck, we think, "Oh my god, now I'm going backward." No, you're not. You're actually trying to figure out how do I take the next step forward, right? You ever been on a mountain on a hike, and you get to a place and you're like, "Wait a minute, do I go left or right? Do I go right?" Do you say, "I'm stuck?" No, you're like, "Hold on, let me check the map. Oh, I go this way. Okay, that's the right way." So, you're not stuck, you're not behind, you're in an update. And because you're not stuck, because this is a moment of misalignment or transition, then the real question does become like, how do we get unstuck? How do we move forward? Lesley Logan 17:58  And that's what we're talking about in the next episode, because a lot of people mistake that they're waiting for the motivation to get unstuck to help them, and as we talked about in our habit series, motivation, can't be motivation, cannot be, doesn't work that way. So, my loves, I'm super excited for this series. I hope it was really helpful. I'd love to hear what you're currently stuck on, because I can get a guest to help with that. Maybe you're stuck on tools and systems that could help you. Maybe you're stuck on a thought or an emotion or an experience, right? We'd love to hear from you. So, definitely send it into the beitpod.com/questions and your wins as well. Send this episode to a friend who might be saying that they are stuck, and hopefully the next episode supports them. Until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 18:43  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 19:25  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 19:30  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 19:35  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 19:42  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 19:45  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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Ruling Elder Keith LeMahieu talks about term eldership. Keith is a ruling elder in Bethel OPC, Oostburg, WI. He serves on the GA Committee on Home Missions and Church Extension, and the Committee on Coordination. Many of the listeners will know him from his work on planned giving.The Form of Government of the OPC puts the matter of elder's tenure into the hands of local congregations.  Fg. XXV. 2. “Each congregation shall determine, by vote of communicant members in good and regular standing, to choose elders or deacons for either lifetime service or limited terms of service on the session or board of deacons.”Further ReadingOrdained Servant“Some Thoughts on Term Eldership.” (John R. Sittema) 13:1 (Jan. 2004): 14-16. Available here.The Presbyterian GuardianJohn Murray, The Ordination of Elders: Some Arguments against Term Eldership. The Presbyterian Guardian, Vol 24. No. 2, (Feb. 15, 1955), pp. 23-25. Available here. An expanded edition of this article was published in the Collected Writings of John Murray, Vol. 2, pp. 351-356Ned B Stonehouse, May We Prohibit Term Eldership? The Presbyterian Guardian, Vol. 24, No. 5, (May 16, 1955), pp. 75-77. Available here.Keith's Recommended BooksMartin Bucer, Concerning the True Care of Souls (Banner of Truth).David Dickson, The Elder and His Work (P&R Publishing).William Boekestein and Steven Swets (Editors) Faithful and Fruitful: Essays for Elders and Deacons (Reformed Fellowship).

In this Fuck Yeah Friday, Lesley Logan opens up about the unexpected magic of hitting restart on a stubborn laptop, on one-sided friendships, and on the way we show up for ourselves. She shares a recent vulnerability hangover from her appearance on Beyond the Reformer, and celebrates listener wins that prove small, brave moves create real momentum. This episode is a reminder that you are valuable, irreplaceable, and that's worth celebrating. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Why celebrating wins matters even when the world feels heavy.The unexpected wisdom of hitting restart when nothing else works.How being yourself creates a ripple effect that lasts for years.Why morning routines fuel presence in your biggest moments.Setting boundaries with people who take but never reciprocate.Episode References/Links:Beyond the Reformer – https://beitpod.com/beyondthereformer@jennvfitness - https://www.instagram.com/jennvfitness@inhalepilates252 - https://www.instagram.com/inhalepilates252@ploplates - https://www.instagram.com/ploplatesSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questionsIf you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  It's Fuck Yeah Friday. Brad Crowell 0:01  Fuck yeah. Lesley Logan 0:02  Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 0:48  Hello, welcome to Fuck Yeah Friday. Oh yeah, we're here, and we are having some fun. We are making some changes to the podcast, and I love it. And this one is that we get to have a moment, because the world's on fucking fire, but then we have to celebrate a win, just like our members have to do in Agency and eLevate. Agency is our Pilates business coaching for Pilates instructors and studio owners, and eLevate is my mentorship program and in both of those communities people can have a moment, but they have to immediately go to the Wins Channel and celebrate a win, because you don't get to vomit and then come back the next day and have a win. No, it isn't about toxic positivity, like someone died, but at least you got to work on time. It's not bad, but it's also just acknowledging that there's also something good happening. Lesley Logan 1:28  Sometimes the moment you want to need is like, "Uh, today I was fighting with my laptop and I did everything right. I'm like, let me check the Wi-Fi. Okay, that's on. Let me quit Dropbox. Okay, that's fine. Let me do this. Okay." And then it's like, "Okay, I'm just going to restart the computer." And then it worked. It's just like remember when you're a kid and the VCR wouldn't work, and you'd hit it three times, and it would? I just hate that the turning on and off is probably going to fix most things, because don't you think it should be more complicated than that? Don't we think? Anyways. All right. This is the world we're in. This is what we deal with, and sometimes the answer is just to hit restart. Lesley Logan 2:09  Now that we've hit restart, my win for the day is a couple months ago I did a recording for a podcast, and it's been out for a bit. Now that you're hearing this, it's Beyond the Reformer, and my win is I love the questions that the person asked. I know that's their work, but I really love the questions they're asking, because I did my morning routine, and because I took care of myself, I was able to be so present and answer them honestly and authentically. Those posts that she's pulled from that podcast are still going around today, over a month later, and people are loving them. They're giving people permission, and it's just so fun that I can do something like that, and then those words can live for years, so that people who need to hear them today versus a month ago versus next year can hear them, and it can hopefully change their Pilates career. So, if you want to take a listen, it's on Beyond the Reformer, and I dropped some truth bombs, just some good authentic stuff. I'm not gonna lie, I also had a vulnerability hangover afterwards, because I was like, "I fucking nailed that," and then I was like, "Did I say too much? What are people gonna think?" Lesley Logan 3:11  So, anyways, it was a great time, and I love how the more you're yourself, the more you can really make an impact. Yeah, you're gonna feel like, "Oh my god, was that the right thing to do?" but then it gets out there, and you're like, "Oh, it was the right thing to do," and then everyone loves it. Then there's one person who's an idiot, and you're like, "Okay, but you're the only one. You seem a little weird." So that's my win. I was myself, and I did something that has helped a lot of people today, even though it's been months later, so there's that. Lesley Logan 3:36  Okay, now I got a few wins from you guys, so remember, you can send your wins in to thebeitpod.com/questions. Okay, so here we go. Here are your wins. This is from @jennvfitness, "I printed flyers for a new class and distributed to the neighborhood all around the studio." Yeah, that can feel so scary, and it's like, "Yeah, but I have a new class I need people to hear about, and these people can walk here, so I'm gonna freaking tell them." Way to go, JV! Lesley Logan 3:59  @inhalepilates252, "OPC classes in two days, and showing up for a 10:00 p.m. live class, because why not?" I love you, Liz. And also, yeah, if you're like, "I'm awake, I'm not gonna go to sleep right now," you might as well move, and that's a fun thing to be in community. You get to move your body, you get to go, "I did two classes in two days." Way to feel so good about yourself! I believe in going to bed early, and then sometimes you just freaking can't. Why fight it? So, thanks for joining us. It was so fun. Lesley Logan 4:26  Okay, @ploplates, "I made the decision today to stop helping people who've never even offered to help me." Boom, mic drop. Lesley Logan 4:35  Love that. Love that. Sometimes you need boundaries, right? Especially like sometimes we're helping people, and we realize that we help the same people, and then when we need help, they never respond, and it's like, "Okay, so I love you, and that's cool. I'm happy to help, and then if you don't help me in return later on, I'm happy to go." Okay, well, it's not that I'm not a helpful person, but maybe someone else.Lesley Logan 4:59  All right. Your mantra for the week: I am valuable and irreplaceable. I am valuable and irreplaceable. Oh my god, you're valuable and irreplaceable, love. So go on and be it till you see it. Send your wins in, share it with a friend who needs to hear it. Sometimes it's nice to know you're not alone in your frustrations, but also be inspired about what could be a win. If you want longer episodes from us, make sure you check out our series every other week, and our interviews and recaps in the week between. We love supporting you on your journey to being the best version of yourself that you want to be on this planet, and help you overcome imposter syndrome and do fun things. So, thank you so much for listening. Until next time.Lesley Logan 5:41  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 6:23  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 6:29  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 6:33  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 6:40  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 6:43  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Lesley Logan 6:58  All right, and pull up, I think it's PLO Pilates, or maybe it's Pop Lot, oh, it's probably Pop Pilates. Okay, got it. Just watch my brain work. Okay, Pop Pilates.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell break down what it actually looks like to leave a job with grace. In this episode, they unpack the candid conversation with New York City-based actress and novelist Clare Solly on why the employer-employee relationship doesn't require lifelong debt, how to keep your exit short and sweet, and what to do when getting fired feels deeply personal. They also dig into her biggest piece of advice: give yourself space before jumping into the next job. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:How The Trevor Project's escape-key feature protects LGBTQ youth.Why the employer-employee relationship doesn't require lifelong debt.The two-sentence advice for exiting a job gracefully.Being fired is professional feedback, not personal failure.The importance of building a career exit strategy like a house fire plan.Episode References/Links:OPC – https://opc.meOPC Summer Tour – https://opc.me/toureLevate Mentorship Program – https://lesleylogan.co/elevateOPC Flashcards – https://opc.me/flashcardsBalanced Body - https://www.pilates.com/Contrology - https://contrology.pilates.com/The Trevor Project – https://www.thetrevorproject.orgThe Center Las Vegas (LGBTQ Center) – https://thecenterlv.orgThe Pitt (TV series) – https://www.max.com/shows/the-pittSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questionsIf you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Brad Crowell 0:00  Yeah, the employer-employee relationship does not inherently require a lifelong debt, meaning that, of course, when you're working for someone, do everything anything that's part of your role, but you don't owe them your life.Lesley Logan 0:15  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:58  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the gracious convoy I had with Clare Solly in our last episode.Lesley Logan 1:06  If you didn't listen, you missed out on the third time. Clare Solly has been, she's one of few people who've been on three times.Brad Crowell 1:13  She is, but I think she's been on way more than that, because she's done recaps for me and all sorts of stuff. So, as a guest three times, yes, but longtime listeners will definitely know who Clare is. Clare and Lesley go way, way back, before I was in the picture, by like years.Lesley Logan 1:32  We go back to like 2001.Brad Crowell 1:33  But way, you go back to 2001? So, like, I think I was still, what? 2001 we were graduating from high school.Lesley Logan 1:45  I went to college in 2001 as well.Brad Crowell 1:48  That's when you met, your first year in college.Lesley Logan 1:50  Yeah, I got a job. I was broke.Brad Crowell 1:53  I was broke. Well, amazing. Yeah, well, anyway, I was listening to your pod, and the two of you are hilarious, because it's like blah-blah-blah, just 100% riffing off each other. Lesley Logan 2:13  See why people are like, "I'm going to pod my best friend, and we're just going to talk about things." Because inevitably something good is going to come out of it. Oh yeah, you said, "Be organized," to like, what are we talking about? Which is like, so we originally, the team was like, "Do we want her on the pod," and I was like, "What will we talk about?" And then she and I were like, doing whatever recaps it is, she's like, "We should talk about ending," whatever, it was, and I was like, "Okay, great," exiting, "The team will be thrilled to know that we have a topic."Brad Crowell 2:38  You picked a topic. Lesley Logan 2:39  We did it. You guys, just so you know, we love that you listen. We love that you share those with friends. Another way you can support this podcast is by being an OPC member. If you go to onlinepilatesclasses.com, you can actually check out what we do. We have real Pilates for real bodies, it's the workout that works for you. There's lots of different ways to do it, and people are often like, "How can I support this show?" And Brad and I have talked about, like, do we do a commercial-free one where people pay?Brad Crowell 3:04  Yeah, we thought about that, like having a second one that's no ads, like all these different things.Lesley Logan 3:08  No, we're not doing more work. What actually would be really meaningful for us is, if you're going to give us money, we want you to actually get something out of it, not just like listening to us take up space. We really want you to actually take time for yourself and move your body, and that's what OPC is all about. It's actually about you having time for yourself. The classes are 2% of your day, and you get to compare yourself to yourself. So, go to OPC, I guess, what do they do? Go to opc.me/40?Brad Crowell 3:34  Just go to opc.meLesley Logan 3:36  Oh, great. Do that, even easier. Okay. Today is June 11th and it's Certified Nurses Week, aka CNA Week. It takes place on Thursday of the second full week of June. I really do love.Brad Crowell 3:50  The Thursday of the second full week.Lesley Logan 3:53  I love when it's not.Brad Crowell 3:54  Of the month of June.Lesley Logan 3:55  It can't be, it can't be the second Thursday. It has to be the second Thursday, the Thursday of the second full week.Brad Crowell 4:01  Yeah.Lesley Logan 4:01  So, Thursday can't be, it can't be the eighth ever. Brad Crowell 4:04  Because if the week starts on a Wednesday, that first Thursday does not count. If the month's first week starts on a Wednesday, or like not a full week, right? Then the first Thursday might not count.Lesley Logan 4:17  Right. Brad Crowell 4:17  Right. So, the Thursday of the second full week. Lesley Logan 4:22  I think that's complicated. Instead of saying. Brad Crowell 4:27  Because there might not be a second Thursday.Lesley Logan 4:29  But what they, well, they could just say the second Thursday of June.Brad Crowell 4:31  No, it might not be the second Thursday.Lesley Logan 4:33  No, if June 2nd is a Thursday, then June 9th is a Thursday, that's the second Thursday. I think they made it complicated.Brad Crowell 4:40  But that wouldn't be it, it would be on the next week.Lesley Logan 4:42  So, listener, hold on, you mean to tell me that people don't grab the 30-day calendar and go one, two?Brad Crowell 4:52  Not necessarily, if it's not a full week, that's the caveat here.Lesley Logan 4:56  I think that's crazy. I'm telling you, I always, when we do FYS, I don't go skipping the first Friday because it wasn't a full week, I do all the Fridays.Brad Crowell 5:08  I am with you on this. I am agreeing with you. This is not simple.Lesley Logan 5:12  It's not simple to be a CNA either. So, it takes place on the second full week of June. Do you like that? Like that lead back, is a week full of, oh, because they also want a week. Okay, notice.Brad Crowell 5:26  It's a full week.Lesley Logan 5:26  It's a full week of celebrations, but it starts on a Thursday, it's a full week of celebrations honoring the hard work. Do you all want to know why I think I'm ADHD? Here's the autism. I'm so stuck on this second Thursday. This year it is held from June 11th to June 17th. Certified nursing assistants began working under the Red Cross program during World War One, and have served alongside US Army nurses. Hundreds of young women were trained to care for wounded soldiers in reserve, field-based, and civilian hospitals. Did you know that before 1987 nursing assistants were not required to have a formal education?Brad Crowell 6:01  I did not know that.Lesley Logan 6:03  Okay, so who's seen The Pit? Because there's actually a whole episode on the medics. Did you know that?Brad Crowell 6:08  Well, this is why I was asking you what the name of the show is that you're watching right now. I yelled it across the house earlier when I was like, "What's that show called?"Lesley Logan 6:15  I'm hyper-vigilant, but okay. One, I'm not new to The Pit. It's already like, I don't know, filming season three or something like that, and won many awards. All of my friends talk about it week after week when it first came out.Brad Crowell 6:26  But you're new to it.Lesley Logan 6:27  I'm new to it, because as much as I appreciate the nostalgia of a weekly show that we all talk about, I don't have that capacity. If I'm going to sit down and watch a show, I want to binge through, like I really like that I can, and all that stuff anyways, because I won't. The next week I'll forget, and then I'll be like, spoiler alerts that I'm trying not to watch, like when Love is Blind was dropping in increments. I'm like, "Fuck, I have to get off my Instagram, because the spoilers are coming." So, because it's spoiled, and I didn't pay attention to it because it wasn't what I was clicking on, I saw on a plane yesterday, I watched 10 episodes in a row, I'm obsessed, and the head nurse is like kicking ass. But they did have a whole episode on this guy talking about what the first field medicals were and how they became one. Anyways, I also believe, maybe it wasn't the nurses, that might have been the women who were doing the phone lines, but they had to pay for their own uniforms and things like that, so there's all this different stuff. Anyways, you guys, we have a nursing shortage in the United States of America because it sucks to work in healthcare. The only people making money in healthcare is CVS and the insurance companies. This is not sponsored by them, but you know they've got the money, so come on over. So the reality is, please be kind to your nurses, we need every single one of them. I know it's frustrating when you have to go to, I wasn't even at the hospital, I was at a doctor's office, and they make me fill out this online check-in sheet every single time. I have to fill in my allergies, my first period, my family stuff, every single time. And the second time I went in a month, I said, "Hey guys, is there any way where I can just tap a box that says nothing has changed, everything is the same, there's zero. Brad Crowell 8:12  I just felt that I wasn't filling it out.Lesley Logan 8:14  Yeah, like the only thing that's different is my last cycle. I'll give you that, because it's a female doctor, anyway. But I said, "Look, I'm not trying to, I'm just here." But be nice to them, be nice to them, it is their CNA week, so go.Brad Crowell 8:29  So, there are apparently on average 190,000 annual openings for registered nurses each year, projected through 2032.Lesley Logan 8:42  Wow.Brad Crowell 8:43  Due to retirements, burnouts, and rising care demands. And while the workforce is growing, it cannot keep pace with the needs of an aging boomer population.Lesley Logan 8:54  Oh, this boomer population, man, they just, love you, because some of you are boomers, but, man.Brad Crowell 9:00  Yeah. So, anyway, nurses are very important, and it's a high-stress job, so all the props to the nurses out there.Lesley Logan 9:10  Yeah, okay. Upcoming travel notes, you guys, we're around, we're sticking.Brad Crowell 9:14  Yeah, we're home for a minute, and it's nice.Lesley Logan 9:17  Kind of at home. Although, although, when you're watching this, what day is this? Brad Crowell 9:21  We are June 11th.Lesley Logan 9:22  Oh, yeah. No, I'm home, solidly in the house.Brad Crowell 9:25  June and July, we're home.Lesley Logan 9:27  We might even foster a puppy or something like that.Brad Crowell 9:29  Yeah, we're gonna go take some dogs and hikes. We're rebuilding the van right now.Lesley Logan 9:34  We means Brad.Brad Crowell 9:35  We means Brad. Brad is rebuilding the van right now from the inside out, obviously.Lesley Logan 9:40  Well, the outside's done.Brad Crowell 9:41  Yeah. Well, not necessarily. Well, actually, I guess I'm adding a roof rack and I'm adding all the solar and all this extra stuff. So, like, we're getting fancy, and I got some really cool specs done for the interior, and we're, we're gonna be completely overhauling it before the summer tour, which is coming up, so tickets are definitely available. You can go to opc.me/tour we're actually going to be doing a Saturn's ring loop around the middle of the country, like Lesley said last week, which I thought was hilarious.Lesley Logan 10:08  Oh, just so you know, our tours are again sponsored by Balanced Body and Contrology, so we're also bringing the Contrology Reformer, Mat and Spine Corrector. Brad Crowell 10:17  We sure are. Lesley Logan 10:17  They all have some great prizes for you. I put another request in for the liner, because everyone loves it. It's so fun, easy to take with you. It's a really great community, and it's time, and you also can go to multiple locations on this tour, because we are on a status ring, but that also means, since the map isn't 3D, we're really just, you know.Brad Crowell 10:37  Okay, okay. I think they got the idea. The point is, we're going in a circle.Lesley Logan 10:41  Stops are within a couple of miles.Brad Crowell 10:42  It's a squeeze circle.Lesley Logan 10:43  It's a squeeze circle,Brad Crowell 10:44  Yeah, a couple of hours, several stops within a couple of hours, not a couple of miles.Lesley Logan 10:48  A couple of hours.Brad Crowell 10:49  But anyway, the go to opc.me/tour we're doing 14, I think it's 14 stops, and we're.Lesley Logan 10:55  I have no idea, it's not we're going to this, I haven't even seen the list.Brad Crowell 10:58  It's good, it's gonna be great, we're excited, we're visiting some new spots, revisiting some old spots, and can't wait to see everyone. So, if you want to come have a Pilates party with us, join us on tour. And then, if you're new here, Lesley teaches a mentorship program for teachers, it's called eLevate, and we might be sold out at this point, but we only do one turn, one round of it per year, and next year we're doing 16 spots, and it's you can find all the information about that at Lesley logan.co/elevate and also we have almost completed the full project here of these flash cards that we've been on a mission for for six years, the last that came out last year. Now we're working on, like, you know, like a.Lesley Logan 11:41  Collector's box that has like a cute little stand. I don't know, I've got some ideas. It might take us a little longer than we thought.Brad Crowell 11:47  Yeah, it's not as much of a priority, that's for sure. But you should go check out the cards themselves, because they're epic. Go to opc.me/flashcards, opc.me/flashcards.Lesley Logan 11:56  You know what, I wish maybe it's more of like somehow it's a stand where the you could put, you could put the card on the front or the back of this clear thing, and the back could be a magnifier.Brad Crowell 12:09  Oh, that's interesting.Lesley Logan 12:10  So, like, it, you could put the card in the front and of the slot, and it would just hold it up super cute, but if you put it on the behind, it would magnify it. For our perimenopausal ladies, I cannot get enough words on there and get the font to 10, so.Brad Crowell 12:24  That's why we linked back to the website on every card, because the website we can write as much as we want.Lesley Logan 12:29  And you can make it bigger.Brad Crowell 12:31  Yes, and you do that too. Cool. So, check this out. Go to opc.me/flashcards. Okay, so this week's charitable organization.Lesley Logan 12:38  Yes, yes, we made this change a couple weeks ago. Go back and listen if you want to know why we made the change. We don't have time for it today. June is Pride Month, you guys, and that means I wanted to, I thought it'd be interesting on our recaps to just talk about different LGBTQ IA charities that are doing great work for that community, because that community right now needs all the support it can get, because it is fighting the good fight and trying to help people. The whole community is just being hit with laws left, right, and center in the country. So, I want it, in the US, anyways, and so I wanted to highlight the Trevor Project. So, the Trevor Project was found in 1998 in West Hollywood, California, by James Lecesne.Brad Crowell 13:20  Lecesne, I think, Lecesne.Lesley Logan 13:21  Lecesne or you don't think it's Lecesne.Brad Crowell 13:24  Actually, I think it's Lecesne.Lesley Logan 13:25  Yeah, Lecesne.Brad Crowell 13:26  Yeah, James.Lesley Logan 13:31  Randy Stone, creators of the film Trevor. The Trevor Project is an American non-profit organization, is leading national organization providing crisis intervention, suicide prevention services to LGBTQ young people aged 13 to 24 That's a really, really tough at age, but you know it's really important that they have support. The organization offers a confidential telephone helpline, the Traverse Space Forum, and the educational programs, while reporting increase revenues and dedicating 80% of its budgets to programs. That's huge for a big charity, as them 80% to go like that. This is what we're looking at when we're looking at charities, you know. It has faced criticism regarding its promotion of gender ideology and allegations of mismanagement. So, okay, no, it's perfect, but I do, I do, I've heard of the project with different groups of different podcasts talking about how it can be helpful, and so, you know, I definitely hope it hope it helps people who are listening, who have friends whose kids or loved ones who need this help. Brad, why don't you tell what you liked about their website?Brad Crowell 14:28  Yeah, well, if you want to support them, go to their website, thetrevorproject.org thetrevorproject.org and I was looking at their website and learning a little more about them, and a pop-up happened, and it said, hey, if you need a quick exit from our website, you can just hit the escape key three times, and I was like, what, I'm really interested about this, so I tried it, you know, 123, bam, it closed the tab that I was on with The Trevor Project, and it opened Google, and so if you are looking for support from the Trevor Trevor Project, and you're concerned about someone barging in on you, you know, or you don't want to share that information with the people that you might live with or be around, what an amazing way for them to think ahead, and I mean it's pretty awesome.Lesley Logan 15:18  Speaking of The Pit, there was this one episode about human trafficking, and they were giving this girl a pen before they gave her the pen, because they thought the person that she was with was trafficking her. They opened up the pen to show her that on the in the ink part is the phone number, so the pen just looks like this like stupid pharmaceutical pen, but when you open it up, it actually had a helpline. And so I just think that, like, I love that groups are getting really creative with how can they actually help people, because just putting, you know, a flyer in a place, like, here you go, it's like no one can take that.Brad Crowell 15:51  Well, it's like it's like in, in the when we fly around the world, and we're in the airports, there's not just signs everywhere there, but they are there. Are hidden posters on the inside of the bathroom stalls that are about trafficking, and it says, hey, and it's in like multiple languages, like, like half a dozen languages. It's like, if you are being trafficked, here's the helpline, how to get support right now.Lesley Logan 16:16  Yeah.Brad Crowell 16:17  And you can call a number if you have access to a phone, of course.Lesley Logan 16:19  Oh my gosh, there was a bar in Miami that's like all these bars, they have, if you order an angel drink, they call it the drink, it's called angel, like, oh, I'd like to order the angel shot, then that tells the waiter that you feel unsafe with the date that you're on, and they will help you know you get out of that situation, which is amazing, like, they like, I don't know how they're helping, like maybe they call you a ride or something like that, something like that. I don't quote quote me, but I know the word was like angel, I guess. If the men find out what the word is for, you know, I don't, that's probably not so. The street was probably only in the women's restrooms, but yeah.Brad Crowell 16:53  The angel shot, it's a coded phrase used to signal bar staff that you feel unsafe and need help, such as a bad date.Lesley Logan 16:59  So, going back to the Trevor Project, you know, there's different things you can do, like if you want to do things more local to you, we, whenever we order, whenever you come to a retreat at our house, if you're in eLevate, things like that, we actually order from Bronze Cafe, and proceeds from their restaurant go to support the mental health of LGBTQ community in Las Vegas, so it's June is Pride Month, so you're gonna find all these different things around where you are that are gonna help people in this community, obviously, try to do it all year long, because they need it, but I just think that, like, it's a real shame that this group of people is being marginalized and made the reason why people's lives are so difficult. The trans community specifically, they're 2% of the population, and the actual 2% that is ruining people's lives across the world are the billionaires, those are the welfare people, those are the people who, like, I shared a post was showing, like, Amazon pays like 1.87% in taxes or something like that, it's like something stupid, Alphabet actually pays 10% that shocked me, I was like, they're not getting the best deal, like, so, so, anyways, if we all got together and supported people who are different than us and actually took out the small amount of people who are getting rich off of us, there will be a much different place. And then this group of people would actually get to live with human rights like the rest of us get to have. So, anyways.Brad Crowell 18:15  I just wanted to quickly check that stat. In the US, roughly one out of 10 identifies as LGBTQ as of 2024.Lesley Logan 18:23  Right, but trans is 2%Brad Crowell 18:25  Trans, trans, yeah, okay.Lesley Logan 18:26  Yes, but yeah. What I understand, you know, I know we're smart supposed to spend a lot of time on this, but the internet really pisses me off when these men are like, I'm not gonna have a gay kid.Brad Crowell 18:35  Right, like it's there choice.Lesley Logan 18:36  I shared this thing with you, this guy got this person to like, like, like, he's like, "Oh no, you, you choose to be gay. It's like, "Oh, okay, we'll be gay right now. He's like, "Be gay right now. He's like, "Oh no. He's like, "He's like, he's like, 'Well, you said you could choose, you choose to be gay, so be gay right now.' So the guy's like, "Okay, I choose to be attracted to you right now. He's like, "Yeah, well, I'm not gay, I can never choose to be gay, but you, you didn't.Brad Crowell 18:59  He just chose to be gay. He's like I'm only gay for like 10 seconds.Lesley Logan 19:02  Yeah, well, you're gay, so actually you're bisexual. It was such, was so well articulate, was so great. At any rate, it just shows that a lot of people have idiocies.Brad Crowell 19:13  Ridiculous.Lesley Logan 19:13  Fears, all this different stuff. And I think, like, the reality is that we have to make sure that children today, especially this group of people have love, support, and community, know that they are there's nothing wrong with them.Brad Crowell 19:24  Yeah.Lesley Logan 19:25  You know.Brad Crowell 19:26  Yeah. So.Lesley Logan 19:26  I could never imagine, I was bullied in school for having a big nose, for having big lips, for being poor, for my clothes being not like, I could never imagine, because when you're bullied for that, it changes, they change people, they get to somebody else, it changes all the time. To be bullied for who you're attracted to or how you identify? Holy fuck, that is relentless. That'd be non-stop. Anyways. Okay, well, we'll be right back.Brad Crowell 19:56  Thanks for sticking with us here.Lesley Logan 20:00  thetrevorproject.org, that was the linkBrad Crowell 20:00  Go to thetrevorproject.com yeah, all right. Brad Crowell 20:03  So let's talk about Clare Solly. Clare is a New York City-based actress, singer, novelist, and creative multi-hyphenate. She has self-published three women's fiction novels, is on the board of two theater companies in New York City, and currently works a day job she genuinely enjoys. Clare is also pursuing a PhD in creative writing, adding another chapter to her already wide-ranging creative career. I did not know she was doing that.Lesley Logan 20:32  Oh, she is. We're gonna call her Dr. Clare.Brad Crowell 20:36  Dr. Sally. Lesley Logan 20:37  I remember when she said, "I think I'm gonna do this. Do you think I'm crazy?" And I was like, "You're gonna do it anyways." That's when you know you have a real friend. It doesn't matter, I know you're gonna do it anyways. It doesn't matter. All right.Brad Crowell 20:54  Yeah. So, like I said, the two of you just beat off of each other. So, what was one of the one of the things that you loved, that she said.Lesley Logan 21:02  Oh my god, we got through so much, I think. I feel like, by the way, it's exiting, and it's a very, I find out of all the podcasts we've done, it's not just a theory, like she gave actual tangible things throughout the whole pod.Brad Crowell 21:17  Yeah, it was great.Lesley Logan 21:18  And it made me realize that we do the "Be It" action items, because in case someone's a little ethereal or a little esoteric, I wanted you to have tangible things to do.Brad Crowell 21:25  That's very true. That's why.Lesley Logan 21:26  That's why it exists, because of the woo-woo people are just like, get to know yourself, love everyone, and I wanted, like, okay, well, what do I do today? But this whole episode is like that. So she was talking about employer-employee relationships, so that's really what this is. We know not everybody works for someone else, so, but this is a great episode to present to your friend who's probably struggling with their boss, and sometimes you end up in one, right? Like, I have a girlfriend who's been an entrepreneur for decades, and now she's an employee again. So, she said the employer-employee relation does not inherently require a lifelong debt, and I think a lot of people who listen to this podcast, maybe not young kids today, because they've just seen it happen like they don't, they've not even, well, what they're saying is that the jobs don't even exist when they get older, but for those elder millennials and Gen X, like, where our parents had the same job forever. So, like.Brad Crowell 22:11  My dad just retired from 43 years at the same company.Lesley Logan 22:14  And just, I know we, I think we had it on the pod already, but how many people have retired since that person took over the job?Brad Crowell 22:20  When my dad retired, he asked the exit interview HR lady, "Hey, how many people have you had this interview with?" And she said, "Since Covid, five."Lesley Logan 22:34  FiveBrad Crowell 22:35  YeahLesley Logan 22:35  Only five.Brad Crowell 22:35  Only five.Lesley Logan 22:36  Five in six years. So that's how many people are retiring, which means a lot of them are leaving. But it does not inherently require lifelong debt, and I think that's really important, because I think especially, the majority of our listeners are women, we tend to worry about.Brad Crowell 22:51  I think we need to qualify that. What does lifelong debt mean in this context?Lesley Logan 22:56  Okay. I'm going to just say your parents on their vacation were worried about when they should tell their bosses that they were retiring, and I was like, "You don't," because somebody had left, and I was like, "You don't owe them that information, you're on vacation right now, you shouldn't even know that that person left." I was literally arguing with them, I'm like, "Why would you even go, 'Oh, I'm gonna retire too, so look for two people'? No, not your responsibility. It's their responsibility to be thinking about if people leave," and so that's what I would say.Brad Crowell 23:25  Yeah, I mean, lifelong debt, I would say, is just your entire life orients around the company that you work for. And I know how I operate, and that would be to pour myself into this company, whatever company that I'm working for. Lesley Logan 23:41  I did that for every company I worked for, I just kept being promoted because I poured so hard. They're like this girl doing so much, we should give her this next job.Brad Crowell 23:47  Yeah, and so, the employer-employee relationship does not inherently require a lifelong debt, meaning that, of course, when you're working for someone, do everything that's part of your role, but you don't owe them your life, right?Lesley Logan 24:04  Yeah, right. We were in Paris for four days. Let me tell you right now, they enjoy their life, they go to work. And our friend of ours who lives there, she's like, "Oh, it would be rude to eat at your desk, you literally have to eat in the lunch cafeteria."Brad Crowell 24:20  She works from home, and she goes into the office to have lunch with the group.Lesley Logan 24:24  Yeah, that's not even on her team, they're just the people of that office that she's at, because it's like rude to not be part of it. And she's like, "Yeah, you have a full hour-long lunch, and no matter what you've got going on, you sit there and you enjoy it." People really have a life, and I think there is a way to give 100% at work and then have a life, and I think that's a balance we're missing if you're in the States. If you're outside of the States, we travel a lot, I see you, you're doing a great job, you are living your life. But so let's go back to one thing she said, so she explained you don't actually owe the company anything, like, telling them where you're going.Brad Crowell 25:06  She was talking about actually, in this case, quitting, and you know, if they asked you like, "Well, where are you going to go work next?" Like, you don't need to tell them that.Lesley Logan 25:13  You don't actually have to, it's not a thing. And so, in fact, somebody asked L on demand, our agency member, because they were making a plan to leave, and they're like, "Well, how do I, do I tell them what I'm doing?" And she wrote, "No, you can just say, 'Thank you so much. As of this date, I'm no longer available for this role. I am still available and excited to do this part of my job.'" Because you actually don't need to tell them that you're gonna go run your own thing, especially like it's not, we tend to feel like we have to give them an excuse or a reason. It can just be that you're done. Done is a reason. Yeah, so it's your business. Lesley Logan 25:50  She also said you can be fully transparent about your feelings, but leaving is—it's when you're—it's not required. You can be, but you don't have to be. It's not required. So, the best policy she said is to just walk in and say, "I'm so sorry, I found X, Y, or Z," or "I found another job," and then keep it short and sweet. And I would say the shorter and sweeter the better, and try to do it in a succinct way so they're not the enemy and you're off to greener pastures. You never know if you have to come back.Brad Crowell 26:22  You guys were talking even about the, "Oh, they're paying me more," or whatever. Like, "This other company offered me this role, and they're offering me more money." But you don't even need to say anything like that, because that would then open up the conversation with the current company of, like, "Oh, well, we could pay you more." What if you actually just wanted to leave, you know? So you don't need to be building in an excuse. You can just say, "Hey, you know, I have to move on." You can give an excuse, but you don't need to. Brad Crowell 26:53  I had a very difficult time leaving my job because my old boss liked to sue people, and so I needed to come up with a reason that was acceptable so that he didn't think that I was going to go try to compete with him. Because if that happened, he was going to sue, he sues everybody. So I told him that I was going to focus on my family, and I left that open-ended.Lesley Logan 27:18  You know what, my last—the job that I left, they were litigious-ish because if certain trainers took clients, because they had a non-compete, which is not enforceable, and the non-solicitation as well, which means you couldn't solicit. But I was so afraid that they would think I was soliciting that I also said, "I'm focusing, my husband, you know, I don't need to work this much anymore." I just wanted them, it wasn't their business, and I didn't want them to be looking for something, you know. And we're still friendly, I still talk to everybody, one of my bosses there, like, it's so great. So it doesn't have to be a big deal. I think the gist of that topic is like you can literally, in two sentences or less, exit given the information that they need to process the paycheck and get to your next thing.Brad Crowell 28:08  Yeah, and when I was listening through the whole thing, I liked the idea of being gracious with the exit—like graceful, meaning short, succinct, and clear. And that's what Claire was talking about when exiting not on your terms, basically meaning you're fired. She said if you really want to hand-grenade things, you can, but it's a small world. The industries we all work in are small. Everyone knows everyone. If you have a tumultuous exit, word will get around, right? She said while being fired is definitely an ego stab in your heart, it is crucial to remain polite because the professional world is very small, even if the human instinct is to internalize blame. And what we will do effectively, because it's the human instinct, is internalize the blame. "What did I do wrong?" You know, and we keep reviewing it over and over again in our own minds, picking on ourselves effectively. She said, "Hey, let's turn it around to a positive instead of sitting there picking yourself apart. Maybe you can go and take this new time and learn a new skill." Alternatively, you can evaluate your peers by asking yourself, like, "What are the skills that I have? What can I add to my resume that makes me more excitable as a hire for the future?" So, really shifting back to working to put yourself back out there.Lesley Logan 29:34  Yeah, I think, going back a couple episodes ago, you have to feel your feelings. It's important to grieve that it's a loss, like even if you leave on your own terms, it's still a closure of something, so definitely do that.Brad Crowell 29:48  I always think about people who are almost arrogant, and I think in a situation like this, how lucky are they that they can look at someone firing them and go, "Well, it's your fucking loss, because I'm awesome." You know what I mean? Imagine that perspective versus, "Oh my god, what did I do wrong? Why are you firing me? It's my fault, I fucked up somewhere, I'm not even sure what I did wrong." Those are the two extremes. Maybe we can land in the middle and do ourselves a kindness and not beat ourselves up over it. Because I had to fire someone, and was this person perfect at their job? No. Were they coachable and teachable, and did we actually enjoy having them on the team? Yes. And ultimately, it wasn't because they fucked up a spreadsheet or a document that I had to fire them; I had to fire them because our company couldn't sustain paying them at the time, this many years ago, right? And so it was a shame and not fun, right? So it had nothing to do with her, and I wrote a glowing review.Lesley Logan 30:56  Yeah, no, and for the most part, especially if you're a boss listening to this, most people know, if you do it right and you're coaching correctly, people know that their job is not safe. So, in California, I have to write you up at least three times, because the employers' HR, when you let go of someone, they want to be like, "Here are the instances, here's what the thing was that you were supposed to do."Brad Crowell 31:21  Meaning they should be seeing it coming. "I've got two write-ups already, I know."Lesley Logan 31:25  Like, "Yeah, I'm in the hot seat," you know. And so now, just because you have three doesn't mean you're getting fired—like maybe they happen over 10 years, you know? One of them you fix, whatever. But especially if they're happening in a row, they're coming for it, they're looking for things to come at you with. So you should be watching for that. Lesley Logan 31:42  But you should also like—if I'm consistently having to remind you how to do something, or I'm questioning, like, if there's these things that you're being coached on in your job, and it's like, "Wow, you've been here a year, and we're still working on this" if you're a boss, they should not be blindsided by it if it has to do with the way that they're doing their job, because they're not mind readers. You actually have to tell them if they're doing their job well or not, and if they're not doing their job well, you have to tell them how to do it well to give them that opportunity. And if you don't do that, then they're gonna be blindsided. But if you're constantly re-coaching them on their job and bringing up, like, hey, even if you don't write them up, "Hey, this is the third time we've had to go over this, what's going on here?" Hopefully they're aware. Lesley Logan 32:22  Now, some people are dense and they don't get it. I fired people who yelled at me and all these different things—not like "my loss," but like, "How dare you," right? And I remember going, "You didn't see this coming, dude? This is our third write-up. You're not on time for your clients. What do you want me to do? You're not on time, you've not been on time multiple times."Brad Crowell 32:44  Yeah.Lesley Logan 32:45  This is on you. Brad Crowell 32:46  Yeah, exactly.Lesley Logan 32:47  If he had been taking the bus, I would have been like, "Okay, we got to find a new bus route, we got to find a new shift." Nope, this is all on him driving, you know. So, I think for the most, it doesn't always happen that way, but that's always my ideal goal, is like people know.Brad Crowell 33:01  I had someone try to write me up one time, and I told them that I would not sign the paperworkLesley Logan 33:05  You, you also don't have to sign.Brad Crowell 33:07  And I said, "I disagree with you 100%. I'm happy to talk to your boss about all of this, because I will not sign this."Lesley Logan 33:13  You don't have to sign, they still, you still got it, but you don't have to sign if you don't agree with it. That's true. Yeah, that's fine. It's all combo. Anyways, this is like, thank fucking God I'm not in an office. Jesus. Okay, hold on. She said more great things about exiting.Brad Crowell 33:29  Yes. Well, stick, stick around really quick. We'll be, we will be right back. Brad Crowell 33:34  All right, welcome back. So, let's talk about those "Be It" action items. If you're new here and you're like, "What the hell is that?" "Be It" is the Be It Till You See It podcast acronym, what bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted action items can we take away from your convo? Claire said, "Hey, give yourself space." Okay, she explicitly warns against immediately jumping back into work after making an exit, whether you made it or they made it. She stated, "Make sure you give yourself a week or two off between jobs, because in any capacity, you have to decompress. It's just good for your mental state." She cautions against skipping this decompression phase, because when you immediately jump back into the next thing, you might actually already be angry or sad or frustrated, or whatever. She said she has rage-updated her resume before, and it just never works out very well.Lesley Logan 34:29  Sounds like if you get dumped, and then you go and do your Tinder or Hinge profile, it probably isn't gonna be as great as if you just waited a moment to be like, "Wow, that person wasn't so great for me. Let me.Brad Crowell 34:42  Yeah, don't rage-update your resume, it's hilarious. What about you? What was your big takeaway?Lesley Logan 34:45  II mean, personally, I never want to have to update a resume like that. I never want to do.Brad Crowell 34:50  I know we've had to update a resume to submit for some things for the business, and we're like, "Where is our resume? What did we.Lesley Logan 34:59  Now, Lex's job is like every so many months, go—because eventually, how long is the resume, you know? How many pages? Because I'm not vying for a job, but loans and stuff want things like that. Anyways, she said take a look at yourself and where you are, look at where you can improve and create an exit strategy. So I like this, because you might not like the job that you're at, you might be frustrated with where it's at, but this kind of is like taking a little bit of radical responsibility—like, where can I improve so that when I find the next place, I'm already a better person for it at the next job, you know? And that allows you to create an exit strategy as well. And I think this is kind of like, you know, if in anything you're wanting to leave, there's a reason you want to leave, and some of it's the situation, and some of it is ownership of how you could be a better person given the new situation, right? She compares this action to having an emergency strategy for a house fire, so you already know where your exits are, and I like that, right?Brad Crowell 36:01  She has some great tips, you know, especially if you know you're leaving and you had already taken things home, slowly start to bring them back to the office, not all at once, and vice versa. If you have things at the office, you could slowly start to take them home again, not all at once, because you're not trying to make your office look empty, but just practical stuff. Pretty cool.Lesley Logan 36:21  Because you never—I mean, even if you think you know your employers the most, like when I worked in, when I ran retail shops, if you gave us a two-week notice, our goal was to see how quickly we can get you a paycheck and end your shift before two weeks in your job, because it was an at-will state, so we could do that. So you put the two weeks in because then you get the better review, like, "Oh, they left and they gave notice," and all these different things, but especially in Pilates and in retail, you have clients, you have customers, so the longer you're there, the longer you can take client phone numbers, emails, different things. Like, we're protecting stuff, so we would just be like, "Out. Bye."Brad Crowell 37:02  Yeah, I think notoriously Netflix is like crazy. If you go in and you quit, before you get back to your desk, you're locked out of every, yeah.Lesley Logan 37:12  Yeah, no, I think it's even in their handbook of like what happens. Keith Olbermann is the one who—it's so funny because he's like, "I was on—they let me be on the air for three months, I could say whatever I wanted." But I do—you never—you just don't know how people are going to react to exits, so make sure that you have prepared well for the exit that you are in control of so that if they do decide, especially if you're an hourly employee or something like that, that they're changing it, you're not needing that money as the in-between, you know. Anyways, well, love it. I'm Lesley Logan.Brad Crowell 37:53  And I'm Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 37:54  Thanks, Clare, for being our Be It Babe, ready to jump in. She'll be back because we'll have her at an interview.Brad Crowell 38:00  The Boomerang Buddy.Lesley Logan 38:01  Oh, I'm interviewing the person in two days, I better finish that book. I'm interviewing a really great doctor, and she's like, "I want to be in the Be It Book Club, and I want to be the recap person." So, Brad, you're unfortunately,unless you want to, you can join us for the recap if you want.Brad Crowell 38:19  It's fun. I love it.Lesley Logan 38:20  Yeah, all right, guy, go Be It Till You See It.Brad Crowell 38:23  Bye for now.Lesley Logan 38:24  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 39:07  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 39:12  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 39:16  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 39:23  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 39:26  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

School teaches you how to land a job, but no one teaches you how to leave one. In this episode, Lesley Logan reunites with longtime friend, novelist, and PhD candidate Clare Solly to talk through what most career advice skips: how to actually walk out the door. They cover how to know when it's time to go, how to figure out if you can afford to leave, how to rehearse the resignation conversation, and what to do when you're the one being let go. Whether you're eyeing the exit or recovering from a layoff, this conversation gives you the words and the plan to move forward without losing yourself. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:What jealousy of your friends' jobs reveals about you.How to know if you can afford to leave your job.What to expect when you tell them you're quitting.Why staying graceful matters even when you're fired.The exit plan you can write before you ever need it.Episode References/Links:Clare Solly's Website – https://www.claresolly.comClare Solly on Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/actinglikeclareClare Solly's Novels on Amazon – https://beitpod.com/novelsbyclareClare Solly's Novels on B&N – https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/clare%20sollySubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questionsGuest Bio:Clare Solly is a modern day Renaissance woman living in New York City. She is an actress, writer, national pageant queen, and by day she is an executive assistant. She has published three books: The Time Turner, Christmas and Cleats and Save The Last Piece. Clare runs two theatre companies in NYC: The Bechdel Group and Company of Fools Theatre where she loves to foster and challenge new writers. She also is an avid bookstagrammer who grew her followers to almost 11K in 5 months time.If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Clare Solly 0:00  So we learn how to do a job in school, and then we learn how to sort of kind of interview for a job, but nobody ever tells you how to leave a job, like how to quit, how to prepare for leaving a job, yeah, how to like deal with being in between jobs, like no one trained you for that.Lesley Logan 0:18  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained 1000s of people around the world, and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity, and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring bold, executable, intrinsic, and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it till you see it. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:01  All right, Be It babe, get ready to totally listen to two friends talking about a topic that we had a lot of fun talking about without you. We're like, we should turn on a recording device and some microphones and lighting and share this with you, because I keep getting great guests who talk about leaving the thing you don't love and doing the thing you love, and it's like, okay, but how? And some people have given some nice things, but I've always just felt like, as a person who's very action-oriented, who's very much like, "Tell me the first next step, because if I can get the first next step, then I can get the second next step." I wanted to have an episode for you like that. And so we have Clare Solly back on the pod. You've heard her on recaps, if you have been listening to this pod for a long time, you've even heard her on episodes if you've really been with us since starting episode 19, and now you can hear us talk about exit strategies and how to exit things. So here is Clare Solly. Lesley Logan 1:47  Hey, Be It babe. Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It podcast. I am so excited because I have Clare Solly back, and we just wrapped two recap episodes. You've been on the pod, we've had two interviews with you on the pod, correct?Clare Solly 2:00  I think two interviews, and I've done several recaps.Lesley Logan 2:03  Month of recaps for me.Clare Solly 2:06  Yeah.Lesley Logan 2:07  It was so fun. I was like, what are people gonna say? You know what? They loved it, the listeners stayed the same.Clare Solly 2:11  You know what? I will sit and chat with you forever and ever and ever, because we've been friends for a million years. But it was also really fun to do Brad recaps.Lesley Logan 2:19  Oh, just to talk about Brad. I listened to him because I was like, I wonder what they're talking about. But you know what's really nice? I often think about, like, what if I need someone to stand in for me, you know, like with OPC we have enough recordings that we could just replay them and people would be like, send us our favorite ones and we'll just replay those. But for the pod, if it's not me, Brad could do some interviews, but you can always step in, which is great. It's so wonderful.Clare Solly 2:45  Redheads, so it works.Lesley Logan 2:46  It really does. It really does. We're both, we're both redheads. So Claire's here, and we were like chit chatting, while you know, she was on the shake plate, I was on the red light. We're talking about, like, I've had a lot of guests on the podcast talk about, like, exiting, like it's okay to leave things, and I have found that the answers to a lot of my guests, when I'm like, okay, but how do you leave, have been kind of not helpful, yeah, like, I love my guests, and I, and I get it, like, especially if you just ended something, you might not be able to describe how you did that, and also sometimes the ends of things are embarrassing, like, yeah, you know, like, whether you wanted to end them or they were ended for you, or I will say, like, some of the.. we're talking more about exiting jobs, but I will say, like, exiting relationship, I sucked at the only time I have ever broken up with someone? I did the worst job doing it, absolute worst, the absolute worst job, like just terrible job, terrible job at it. And it's because, like, I never broken up with anybody. I kind of also didn't date enough to, yeah, to get broken up, and I feel like one of my breakups was more of a ghost team.Clare Solly 4:00  Yeah, I kind of had that too. I kind of had that,Lesley Logan 4:02  So like, to like sit down and like tell someone, and like I guess you'll never have a good answer for why you're ending something, really. So like I just didn't have a good answer, and I just kept going, okay, so I'm gonna go.Clare Solly 4:14  Yeah.Lesley Logan 4:16  So anyways, I so I think like I think exiting things is a muscle. I think like learning how to exit things, itClare Solly 4:21  absolutely is. We learn how to do a job in school, and then we learn how to sort of kind of interview for a job, but nobody ever tells you how to leave a job, like how to quit, how to prepare for leaving a job. Yeah, how to like deal with being in between jobs, like no one trained you for that.Lesley Logan 4:39  Well, and there's like some sort of, sometimes there's shame, there's embarrassment, there's all these things. First, before we get into this, I did a terrible job.Clare Solly 4:46  You heard it first on this episode, everybody.Lesley Logan 4:48  You know what, guys, I'm also.. I'll just be really honest with my B. A pod listeners, so I've been.. I've been diagnosed with the ADHD that you all knew I had before I had it. So today is the first day on medication, and I am just. Seeing how I'm doing, and so clearly it's doing something. It's not helping me, it's not helping me be more organized. She looks great. I'm supposed to say, Claire Solly, will you tell everyone who you are and what do you rock at?Clare Solly 5:14  My name is Clare Solly. I rock at pretty much anything I try, and if I don't, I rock at trying to figure out how not to be too terribly disappointed. I am a quadruple six tuple hyphenate. I am an actress, singer in New York City, have a day job that I really find a lot of crazy fun in. I'm also a novelist, for those of you that have listened to podcasts with me on it before. New news in my life: I've actually gone back to school, and I'm working on getting a PhD in creative writing. Lesley Logan 5:46  I can't wait to call you Dr. Clare Solly.Clare Solly 5:48  Oh my god, can I tell you, I read this meme the other day, that once I have my doctorate, I'm so excited to order something and have it come in and be like, look, this is what the doctor ordered. It's such a dad joke that I will totally use in my life. I have three self-published novels, you can find them on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. They're women's fiction. I run with theater companies in New York City and do all kinds of things, so I'm all over the place and making magic happen.Lesley Logan 6:22  So we met at a job.Clare Solly 6:24  We met at a job. I actually hired you at a job, pretty much.Lesley Logan 6:27  I remember thinking you were standing on an elevated step when I brought my application in, but no, you're just a giant.Clare Solly 6:34  Yeah, because I was behind a counter and I came around. I remember you looking me up and down and going, oh, that's you.Lesley Logan 6:42  I thought she was on an elevated platform, but she was just wearing heels.Clare Solly 6:48  Yep.Lesley Logan 6:49  And so we got to work together, we opened a business together, we had a shoe company together for two years. Fun fact about me, I used to design shoes. I should keep that as part of my two truths and a lie. Clare Solly 7:09  Shoe designer right here. And we spent long nights and long days sitting together and laughing our asses off and drinking.Lesley Logan 7:17  Oh my god, yeah, that was crazy. And probably because we're high on glue, we used deck varnish to make these shoes you guys have no idea.Clare Solly 7:27  By the way, if anybody out there has a pair of Snip and Tuck shoes. Lesley Logan 7:31  Snip and Tuck's Opinionated Shoes. Clare Solly 7:33  Oh that's right. Snip and Tuck's Opinionated Shoes. If somebody has a pair of those still in existence, please write into the pod. I need pictures of them.Lesley Logan 7:43  I'm gonna pull them. I think I kept a shoe from each of the ones that I had. Yeah because I'm not wearing them so I was like I'm not going to keep both. I'll find it in the closet for you. My sister still has a pair.Clare Solly 7:54  Oh my gosh, I didn't keep mine because I've moved too many times.Lesley Logan 8:01  Same. That's why I think I have a shoe from each pair. But anyways, we were talking about this because I interviewed a woman and she talked about the pros and cons, like how much it costs you to stay in the thing you're in. So Clare, how many jobs, you've counted your jobs, I haven't counted mine, so how many jobs have you had? Clare Solly 8:18  Well, actually counting Snip and Tuck, if we count self-employment, I've had 34, I've worked for 34 different companies or people, because I've worked for private families. Lesley Logan 8:29  Oh my god, I worked at a coffee shop, I worked at a doctor's office, then I worked where we worked together, and then I worked for a high-end fitness company. Clare Solly 8:38  Did you work for that? Remember we had that friend that we worked with, that and had a separate job, and did you ever go work for her at all? No? Okay.Lesley Logan 8:45  Then I worked for myself, and it was Snip and Tuck's. And that's all I've had. Clare Solly 8:55  Have you worked, you've worked for two gyms or just one?Lesley Logan 8:57  Just the just the one gym, just by, but here's the thing, in the job we worked together, I did every job, every job, and then.Clare Solly 9:06  We can count that as 20, if you want.Lesley Logan 9:07  Yeah, yeah, so that, well, that's like four, four, five classes.Clare Solly 9:10  Becaus you had five different positions in that.Lesley Logan 9:12  Yeah, cashier, sales, key holder, assistant manager, manager, and then I was hoping to be like an area manager, but then you know, life, and then at the fitness company I was an instructor and a manager and a teacher trainer, and then a regional manager, and as a group fitness instructor. So we're at like 20 jobs, yeah, yeah, we'll go there. So anyways, I feel more like an elder millennial now that I'm at 20, but like some of them I can most I can say, like I left the coffee shop job in a fine way, I left the doctor's office job at a fine way, but I'm not sure. Clare Solly 9:42  The coffee shop, they wouldn't let you go home for breaks in college, and they were always asking you to pick up shifts. You were beloved at that coffee shop.Lesley Logan 9:52  Yeah, I know. And I actually, when my in-laws got us an espresso machine, Brad was reading the directions like, I know what I'm doing.Clare Solly 10:00  Yesterday, when you were like, 'Do you know how to work a coffee machine? I was like, 'Nope, but you do.'Lesley Logan 10:04  I know. So, but I can say, like, you know, those jobs ended because I moved, and so it was like, "Of course, they know I was." Yeah, the other jobs were... I felt like I owed them more when I was leaving, versus, like, "Oh, this is just a job." You know what I mean? But I feel like, because I give my all, I kind of felt like I owe... maybe I should give them a month's notice, maybe I should give two months' notice. So let's talk about, you know, what should you be thinking about if you're exiting on your own terms?Clare Solly 10:36  I think you need to think about the value of yourself, what it is, like, what your skills are, right? This is also kind of helping you gear your mind towards rebuilding your resume and refocusing, like, what you want to do. Also, this is sort of tangential, but just stick with me for a second. When you find yourself jealous of your friends, especially with things that they do in their job, or specifically how their life revolves around their job, look at what that jealousy actually is, right? So you run your own business. I have another friend who runs her own business. I'm not afraid to say this, I'm jealous of both of you. And why is that? Because I like the freedom, the freedom, air quotes, I like the perceived freedom that I think that you have. I like the ability. Lesley Logan 11:21  I laugh because we're sitting here recording this podcast because I have a schedule and I have deadlines, and we can do this today, but it's a perceived freedom. Yes, you choose your boss. Clare Solly 11:30  Well, and that you get to travel, which that one is true, that you get to travel and you get paid for it for the most part. What else? I like... well, we'll just stick with those. Those three things are enough. Okay, so then I need to take that back and say, oh, that jealousy... oh, I actually would like a job where I travel, where I have a perceived freedom, a.k.a. I don't need to be lashed to a desk from eight to five, Monday through Friday. I want to do some things where maybe I'm out in the world doing things, and I work at a desk a couple of days a week, right? So look at yourself and not only what you value, but what skills do you have, do I have—we'll just use me—that can get me to where I want to be, right? So I can't magically leave my desk job and then go travel the world and make money, but I have to go figure out things like you did back when you were at the company we both worked at.Lesley Logan 12:24  Yeah.Clare Solly 12:24  And you went and you were taking classes, and then those classes turned into trainings, and then you went and educated yourself while you were making the money to do so. I mean, listen, if you want to be a babe and you want to like just quit your job tomorrow and run off into the sunset and go make magic happen, as whatever you want to do, live your best life.Lesley Logan 12:47  I do think that, depending on where you are in your life, there's different opportunities to blow things up versus not.Clare Solly 12:53  Oh, yeah, and in my 40s, I give very few (inaudible).Lesley Logan 12:56  Yeah, yeah. And I will say, like, I kind of blew up my life as far as personal life goes. I've never, I'm not someone who's ever blown up my life when it comes to the money I make, because I wasn't raised with a lot, and so for me, I want to be, when it comes to exiting things, I've always made sure I had a runway. So when I was,I actually, the job that we had together, I actually thought I would just be there like two days a week, because I thought I could do that. I thought, I'll do the two days a week, and that means I can keep my customers and keep my clients, my commission, my extra money. And then I'll have this business. And what happened is they were going to fire another salesperson so I could be the two-day-a-week, they were going to fire the other two-day-a-weeker, and I was like, oh, and it made me go, but she really needs this job. I need this job too, but also I have enough clients, and the company that I was teaching at part-time on top of my private Pilates business was going to, I knew they were going to offer me a management job, so if push came to shove, I knew I could just accept that job and reclaim that money in some way. So I actually decided to fully quit there versus do a little slowly stop working for them, because I just didn't want someone to lose their job, especially in early 2010. That just felt like that's a hard thing for her to go and replace. But when I left the fitness company, what I did is I figured out how much, I love your description of, like, what are you jealous of? It's also like, what are you finding you're resenting, like when people email and you're just like, you have instant irritation. And so for me, I felt even though they didn't think, and my friends who still work for them, they don't feel like it's a beck and call. It felt like to me it was a beck and call, clearly my ADHD signs, but really a beck and call to me. And so what I decided was, I sat down, it's like, okay, if I want to give up this job, how many Pilates clients would I need to have to replace this salary? And that salary included health benefits, that included my 401k, all these different things that I really think about. But then when you do the math, it really helped me go, okay, so I need to get this many clients coming twice a week. But what's the reality with how many hours I have to do that with? And so I had to go, okay, at the point that I get five clients who come two times a week, I can quit the salaried part of the job, and so I was able to go. I'm no longer going to manage, but I still taught there, was still a teacher trainer. And then it took me one year from that to let go of all of it. So I will say, like, if you do have the control, give if you need a runway, because money is a thing that you don't have extras of, an abundance of, to go remake yourself. It's really figuring out, like, the skills you'll need to have, the money you need to have, and knowing the numbers. I think that really puts you in a power position. I actually felt really confident letting go of that.Clare Solly 15:52  Yeah, and to, you know, add kind of to the money conversation, make sure you have a little bit more runway than you actually think that you'll need. Staying in a job that you hate for one more month is not going to be terrible compared to the two months you might be out of work and are panicking because you're like, where's the money going to come from?Lesley Logan 16:11  Yeah, I couldn't agree more. We had somebody who wanted to start her own business, and she... but her current job was just really, really stressful, really exhausting, and so Brad and I were like, "Hey, let's be honest, how much are you making here? Okay." So I looked up, I'm like, "If you worked at Starbucks 20 hours a week, you can make 80% of what you're making at this job." Yeah, so could you live off 80% of what you're making, right? Could you... I don't know your numbers, I don't know what that is. Maybe you need to, for the next three months, you just actually try to live off 80% and you bank up some money, right? And then you go find a job where you clock in and out, right? You just clock in and out—like no one who works at Starbucks is thinking about mochas when they leave, like they're not, right? Like, maybe a manager is, but I'm not saying that, I'm saying, like a barista, like just going in. So find a job that is actually not stressful, or where you get to leave the job when you're there, and then you can build your thing. If you can't do what I was able to do, which is like slowly leave away, is there a way that you can live off a little less money and do a different job that you could just leave it there? But I.Clare Solly 17:21  Now that's really smart.Lesley Logan 17:22  I think that it's always better if you can do it on your own timing. But yes, I agree, you need a little bit more money than you think, and you might want to start thinking, like, how can I make myself live on less money so I can be banking it, so I could have that runway, that two months' savings you have for rent and things like that.Clare Solly 17:38  Yeah, I like the strategy of having like a standby job. Let's talk about quitting.Lesley Logan 17:44  Yes.Clare Solly 17:44  That's like, how do you quit, right?Lesley Logan 17:46  Because, okay, wait, we made the plans, but now we have to tell them we're quitting. Clare Solly 17:52  Which is is terrifying, terrifying.Lesley Logan 17:54  Thank you for saying that. I thought I was the only person who's just like, oh my god, I know something that they don't know.Clare Solly 17:58  No, the best thing you can do is like almost get together with a friend and rehearse.Lesley Logan 18:04  Okay. Okay.Clare Solly 18:05  So we've made our plan like whatever it is, you know, you make sure that you've got enough money, that you've got sort of a runway, you make sure that if you have the friends or the family that are able to support you emotionally, mentally, whatever, you might just make sure that's part of your setup of moving forward. And then I, it's funny, I want to go in and quit always. I do these steps, I have found, because I've also done the thing where I'm like, "I'm moving," and pretended that I had a fake reason to leave a job. I've done that, and that doesn't feel good. The best thing to do is to go in, figure out kind of a script for yourself, and also be prepared to have them have different reactions. Like, they could ask you to stay and give you more money, so if you obviously hate the job, but money was your reason for leaving, maybe you might want to consider that, so be prepared for that as a conversation. Be prepared for them to just not care whatsoever. And then people also don't like any kind of leaving separation, whatever; they kind of can lash out at you, which is why it feels terrifying, because you're like, oh my god, they're going to hate me forever. You're leaving the job; they might hate you for a month or two, but they won't care.Lesley Logan 19:25  Also like, if they're going to hate you forever, do you really want to work there?Clare Solly 19:29  Exactly.Lesley Logan 19:30  I mean, that is terrifying. Like, I don't want anyone to feel unsafe, but I really think, like, really ask yourself, if someone's going to hate you forever, do you really want to work for someone just because they'll like you? I do like the idea of playing... like Brad did that with me. I was leaving when I was leaving the fitness job, because I was in management and all these things. He was like, "Well, what if they ask you that they're going to pay you more?" And I had to really think about that, but I also knew I'll just take every promotion someone gives me. So, to be honest, I was literally quitting so they wouldn't offer me another promotion.Clare Solly 20:00  Yeah, I mean, and that's hard, because it's like ultimately you're like, oh, well, things seem to be getting better, so maybe this is... which is why you should be prepared for it, because if you really don't like the actual job you're in, or the company that you're in, there's nothing wrong with that. You have just outgrown that space.Lesley Logan 20:19  Well, that's the thing, like leaving a job is like leaving any relationship, and I think, especially as women, we're not taught that. Like, you can leave friends behind. I think fondly of the friendships I had in elementary, high school, college, you know, even the friendships I had at different jobs, but I don't think that the version of me today could be friends with the version of them... you know, maybe we could be friends today, but we outgrew each other at some point. And maybe we could have reconnected, and I'm not saying that we never will, we might, we might run into each other, but I do think that people think we have to keep all of these people all the time, and so you've outgrown the position. Now, if you are someone who's like, oh my gosh, they're going to give me more money for staying, and you're like, "I could handle this for six more months," and you don't have another thing, then there's nothing wrong with staying and banking up more money, like that's fine too. But I do think that rehearsing that, so you know... and so Brad was like, "If they offer you more money, what are you doing?" I said, "I still need to go. I can't keep going the way this is going, and I already have a good thing lined up, and I'm going to bet on myself." Also, I kind of figured they would just hire me back if I needed to.Clare Solly 21:25  Some jobs can, some jobs can, but yeah, definitely. Like, you should wrap your mindset, and I'm not saying... I'm a chronic overthinker, so I'm not promoting overthinking quitting, but at the same time, make sure you are ready for the different options to be thrown at you.Lesley Logan 21:42  So maybe they might be like, "Okay, great, bye," and you might be like, oh. And the other thing is, depending on the state you live in, you might not get to finish the time.Clare Solly 21:50  Yeah.Lesley Logan 21:50  That you have. so I just want to say, be strategic about that, because I worked for a company where if someone put their notice in, the soonest.Clare Solly 22:00  You get walked out the door.Lesley Logan 22:01  Yes, as soon as we could legally give you the paycheck that we could owe you, we would let you go, yeah. And that's not because we didn't like you; it's actually because the transition process was a lot better, and the liability, all these different things. Like, I remember when we worked at the store, if someone gave us their two weeksClare Solly 22:16  Yeah. Lesley Logan 22:16  For the most part.Clare Solly 22:17  It's awkward too.Lesley Logan 22:18  For the most part, they were pretty much like, okay, we can have a paycheck to them by tomorrow. What's the schedule? Okay. And we literally, they would come in for that day, and I'd go, "Thank you so much for the day you just had. Here's your final pay, it includes today, you know?" They would FedEx it to the store so I could give it to them, and IClare Solly 22:36  Forgot about that, actually.Lesley Logan 22:37  Yeah, and we would live short-handed, because, honestly, it wasn't even personal to them. Putting the business owner hat on, they could steal, there's different things they could do, they could try to spend the next two weeks seeing their customers' information. So there's all these different things about protecting, and that back then, like, we remember, we had the customers' phone numbers and credit cards book, yeah. So there's a lot of information to protect at the fitness place. We wanted to transition the clients as quickly as possible, so we would do that. So I would just say, be mindful of where you're at, because it might be that it might end sooner than you were ready. Yeah, when I tried to exit a rental situation, the contract meant that I didn't have to give them any notice, but they also could just kick me out at any time. We were friends, so I thought they would honor that we're friends, and I wanted... I could see that they were turning away other renters, and I was their number one renter. So I was like, "Hey, these are my friends, I want to let them know, you guys, in four months I'm going to open up my own space, just so I can film whenever I want to. It's not personal." They seemed really, really fine about it, and then three months later they weren't fine.Clare Solly 23:42  Yeah.Lesley Logan 23:43  I don't know what changed. I know what changed now, but at the time I didn't know it changed, and so they literally kicked me out. And I had a month before my equipment was going to show up, and I had the studio, I didn't have a trash can. I had to text all my clients like, "Come to this space, we're moving in early." And then I called all my Pilates friends, and I borrowed equipment from them, and I made it work for a month. So I was, I mean, I'm pretty good to move on my resource, I'm so resourceful, Aquarian with ADHD, like, when the shoe drops, I am so much better than when everything is good. But you just don't know, so you just need to take... I would write down, what would I do if this happened? What would I do? What's the worst-case scenario? And also, here's the thing, the worst-case scenario rarely happens, but even if it did, have a backup plan for that. I think it's helpful.Clare Solly 24:30  Yeah, and like, I'm also kind of, if you have a personal space at the place that you work and you keep personal things there, you might slowly start to take them home, you know, not everything all at once, so it doesn't, you know.Lesley Logan 24:43  Yeah.Clare Solly 24:44  Flags to anybody.Lesley Logan 24:45  I haven't had an office job, so thanks, Claire.Clare Solly 24:47  I'm absolutely not saying do not take anything against company policy, don't do that. And in fact, make sure that anything you might have... because I mean, I work from home like two days a week now in my current job, but you might start bringing back things that might be company property, and just start leaving them at your desk instead. So just start the severing a little bit early if you know it's going to happen.Lesley Logan 25:15  I think so. I think so. Okay, so we talked about if it's on your own terms, we talked about like planning, and we talked about leaving. I guess we didn't really say, like, how do you say I'm quitting? What do you say?Clare Solly 25:28  It's different every time.Lesley Logan 25:31  Do you give a story ahead, or do you just start with I'm quitting?Clare Solly 25:34  Honestly, I think the best is short and sweet. Like, they don't... you don't owe them anything, they don't really owe you anything. I mean, yes, you've invested your time and your intellectual powers to them for however long, but you don't owe them anything. And I really think, too, like telling them where you're going, unless they're asking you, that's your business, you don't have to tell them. Even if they ask you directly, straight out, where you're going, you kind of don't have to tell them.Lesley Logan 26:02  Depending on who it is, I might not. I might say, like, I'm just, I will say, like, when I was leaving the fitness jobs, the management job, I said, "You know what, after we get married, the management responsibilities are not going to be something I'm capable of doing in the best way." And I used my marriage, but it was just like telling them I'm going to go teach somewhere could have meant that they would have fired me from all of my teaching gigs.Clare Solly 26:30  Yeah.Lesley Logan 26:30  You know, so, and by the way, I was legally allowed. I lived in the state of California, there's no non-competes, like I could do whatever I wanted, but you just... I didn't trust the person I worked with to not be vindictive, so I just was like, I'm just going to use my marriage.Clare Solly 26:42  You have to do what's best for you. But honestly, the best policy is just saying, you know, walk in, "I'm so sorry, I found XYZ. I found another job, I'm getting married, I'm moving," whatever it is. Keep it short. "I would like to put in my two weeks for you, if you'll accept that." You can say something bullshitty like, "I've enjoyed working here," or something that is sort of true, "I've learned a lot working here." You don't have to tell them why you're leaving, like, "Hey, you're a bullshit boss." Like, you don't have to tell people that. No, if you want to burn the bridge, you take those matches, baby, and you burn, but it's best to get in, get out, I think.Clare Solly 27:20  I think so, and also, as much as you want to tell if somebody is worth... like, "Oh my god, this person's the most abusive person," unless they want the criticism, they're not going to listen to you. Yeah, you know, so I just think that some lessons they have to learn on their own. But I also just think that I was raised by people and grandparents who worked for their companies forever, all the decades, retired, started the job and retired with the job. And so I was raised with these people like, you do the best, you do better than they're asking, right? And the reality is that in today's world, that is actually very different. They just stop paying you for what they were paying you, and you're just doing more, and not all bosses are aware that you're actually giving above and beyond. You have a family member who just retired, and they had to hire three people to replace him, but were they paying him three people's jobs worth? No, they were just working him to the ground. And so I think we do need to say... like, I'm not saying that all companies are evil, but a company will replace you. The thing that I learned early on when I ran that jewelry store is everybody's replaceable, even your best salesperson. And that's terrible, and that's awful, and I will remember all the personalities, but the truth is that a lot of us are being replaced by AI.Clare Solly 28:42  Or not even that we're being replaced by, people you and I are of the age where companies are reskilling and they're replacing people with newer skills, whether fresh out of college or fresh out of a program, right, rather than somebody who's been there with a longer tenure. Lesley Logan 29:00  Yeah.Clare Solly 29:00  And it's not necessarily the age thing; it's like what you know and what you're able to do. Lesley Logan 29:04  Well, and also, even for those who are going to start your own thing, when you become a business owner, you start to realize, like, "What can I pay for this role?" So you might... we have lost some people on the team. We're actually, I'm really proud of us, we're really good at weeding people out in the interview process. We keep our team members for a long time, but we've been around for a long time. Like, this business I've been running, I've been running it by myself starting in 2016 full-time, right? Yeah. And then my first hires were in 2016. Brad came on full-time, and we started hiring more. We had about six people in 2020, now we're more like over 20, but we lost three people due to life situations at the same time. One went on maternity leave forever, one was moving and needed to be paid more for the same job. And it's like, but the role is this pay, like, that's the budget, and that's the role.Clare Solly 29:54  You can tell them that too. You can say, "Hey, I got this job in another company and it pays more." Yeah, I'm welcome, you know.Lesley Logan 30:00  And we will take all of them back in a heartbeat, but also as a business owner, sometimes I can love someone so much, and I have to let them grow somewhere else because where my budget is for that role that they're doing isn't what they are wanting or feel they deserve, right? And that's not personal, and that's the hard thing.Clare Solly 30:22  Yeah, yeah. And also, like, if you're leaving a job because you got more money, you don't have to open that door for them. You just say, "I'm getting more money." Again, just the facts, minimal details, and just the facts.Lesley Logan 30:37  I'm having a life change, those are changes in my life, whatever, my life needs, whatever, you don't owe them more information than they actually need. You just, you really, really don't.Clare Solly 30:47  It's literally like, "Hey Lesley, I loved working on the Be It Pod. I'm so sorry, I've got a job that is willing to pay me more to do podcasts, and I'm excited about it." Lesley Logan 30:57  Yeah. And it would suck so much. And, you know, we can talk another time of how our team always prepares for anybody to be sick for any amount of time because we have to keep going. Like, you know, and I want to honor people's mental health days and things like that, so we have like a lot of redundancy so we can make sure that we can be there for people, but also so people can go and someone can take their place. And it would suck, and I think of them so fondly, and all that stuff.Lesley Logan 31:21  Okay, what if your exit is not your own, like you're fired or the company closed? Like, what happens if the exit happened to you? Clare Solly 31:30  Oh, definitely, definitely. Lesley Logan 31:31  Everything happens for you, but let's be real, like, it happened to you. Clare Solly 31:35  Definitely throw as many things as you can, break as many things on your way out, you know, stab tires. No, don't do any of that. Be as graceful as possible, right? I think one of the best, it hurts, right? It is an ego thing, and it is an ego stab in your heart, and you just have to go. just keep a brave face while you're in front of colleagues, etc., and be as polite as possible because it is a small world. I do not care who you are. I do not care what job you're in. Somebody knows somebody who knows somebody's sister, who knows who's married to somebody who knows you in the next company you go to. It is a small world.Lesley Logan 32:18  Yes.Clare Solly 32:18  Or it'll get back to you in some weird way, 20 years in the future. We are in a social media-heavy world where everybody knows everything. And I'm not saying you have to be happy about it. I am just saying don't go crazy, just try to hold everything in. And you might,in the back of your mind now, because I generally kind of knew when either I was unhappy or my company was unhappy with me, and I knew, because I've been fired, I'm going to say I've been fired four times. You know, once was like a redundancy, once was because the manager hated me, and I can't remember the other two times, but I've been fired a decent amount, and it hurts every time. And no matter how prepared for it you are, you're never prepared for it. So just kind of pick up on the clues in the background, and just don't sit there every day going, "Oh, I'm going to get fired," but maybe start, you know, hit the rewind button, listen to the beginning of this podcast, this episode, and kind of prepare, and then be as graceful as possible. Get your things together as quickly as possible. Don't talk to anyone that still works for the company. Lesley Logan 33:28  Yeah I agree. Clare Solly 33:29  Even if you have a BFF that works for the company, like, especially don't put anything in writing, don't blast anybody, because a lot of times if you are being let go, they're giving you some sort of package, hopefully.Lesley Logan 33:42  Yeah, I would hope so. And I think, even if they don't, even if they're terrible, even for the worst, I just want to reiterate, like, you might end up somewhere, even two jobs from now, where there's someone else who worked there. It just happens, and you don't want your worst day to be the thing that people remember about you when they see you next time, or when someone does ask. Like, sometimes people do call your references in your past jobs, sometimes they call your past jobs, and you don't want the tone of voice to change. So I think... but that's why you go to these new rage stations, and then you break things.Clare Solly 34:27  Definitely go to a rage station.Lesley Logan 34:28  So, okay, so don't burn the bridges, that's good. Go to a rage place, yay! But, like.Clare Solly 34:34  Have a safe friend to talk to, like, that doesn't work at your company.Lesley Logan 34:39  This is good advice for everything. Have someone to talk to about everybody who doesn't know the people involved.Clare Solly 34:45  You know, and maybe that's somebody you pay, maybe that's a therapist, maybe that's a safe space. I would sort of stay away from telling your mom or your dad, or close family, because family always has opinions on these kind of things.Lesley Logan 34:58  Until you're ready. I do think that there are certain things... you kind of have to get your wits about you before you tell the people. It depends on how your relationship is with them, but if they're opinionated, and you often feel like you're constantly letting them know, "I'm not a child anymore." You know, it's the same as a breakup. I don't tell people until I'm like, you have to heal from things before you talk about it sometimes.Clare Solly 35:18  So you're human, and we all try things, and we fail things, and failures are hard, and you don't need somebody poking at your failures or asking you. Like, my least favorite thing is when a relationship ends, people are like, "And when are you going to date?"Lesley Logan 35:35  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, "I just got fired. Okay, so is your resume together?" But I will say a tip: maybe have a little thing in your calendar, like every six months, that you just update your resume. Clare Solly 35:47  Yeah. I get mine updated, so (inaudible).Lesley Logan 35:50  Yeah, so it's ready to go, because you just never know these days. You never, you never know, like, people think that the companies will be around forever, and they're not. So I think that that's a really, I think also I just want to highlight what you're saying, it's like, I think you need to grieve a little bit.Clare Solly 36:02  Yeah.Lesley Logan 36:03  Because maybe you had ideas about what that job could be or what it was going to let you do. I do think a little grieving process is important.Clare Solly 36:11  Well, and no matter if you are let go, if you are given severance, or if you are choosing to leave a job, I highly recommend making sure you give yourself space. Make sure you take a week off between jobs, take a couple of weeks, make sure you can, or try your best to afford that. But before you start running again in any capacity, you have to decompress. We take vacations for ourselves from the jobs that we're currently in; we need to do that as well when we are doing anything involved with work.Lesley Logan 36:48  I love this idea, so it's like, call the unemployment office first thing, yeah, call your therapist, and then take a beat, just a beat.Clare Solly 36:57  Take a beat,Lesley Logan 36:58  Yeah, maybe, so hopefully, usually they fire you on a Friday, so hopefully you can take the weekend, like use some credit card points, get a hotel.Clare Solly 37:05  Yeah.Lesley Logan 37:06  You know.Clare Solly 37:06  I mean, I've rage-updated my resume before, and it never works that well, and I have to redo it all.Lesley Logan 37:11  Okay, so don't, so you're saying go grieve first, then resume later.Clare Solly 37:15  Yeah, yeah. I mean, still check in with the unemployment office, and still check in with like your therapist, and I would check in with your bank account and make sure that you're good there.Lesley Logan 37:24  Yeah, yeah, I agree. I think that, you know... but I do think you're allowed to be upset, you're allowed to be sad, you're allowed to be frustrated, you're allowed to be like, "The reason this happened is because of them."Clare Solly 37:35  Yeah.Lesley Logan 37:35  But also, depending on where you live in the states—I don't know how it works in the rest of the world—but I'm of the management style that you kind of are quitting on me before I fire you. I'm giving you talks, and those talks... at least in California, I had to give you written notices, and these are the dates you've improved these things by, so if you're around number two or three, they're probably not happy with you. So you can plan for that, but if you can't, it is out of your control, and it happens sooner than you thought. I do think grief and taking a pause is really nice.Clare Solly 38:12  Yeah, and I think, too, to some extent, when you were saying that, it just kind of came to my head, like, maybe just when you're in a thoughtful moment, and you can handle that thought, just write yourself just like a little exit plan in your notes app in your phone or something like that. So that... we have an emergency strategy if your house is on fire, right? You know where the exits are. Maybe you just give yourself that when you're in a good space. You know, what are my steps that I need to take? Who are my emergency contacts? Where am I in the level-set of money and my trajectory, and all that?Lesley Logan 38:49  I also think, even if it was your dream job, I would sit down and journal. I would write down all the things that you hated about it, and all the things you loved about it, right? This is something we do all the time. Like, when people are like, "I need to get a scheduling tool," I'm like, "Write down all the things you want it to do, like, what are your dream things?" Same as if you're going to date someone where they have to have these qualities. I would say take a moment to think about what is the stuff that you loved about that job, and then what are the things that you fucking hated, even as a dream job. There are always things that are irritating, like working for anybody is irritating, so it has irritating moments. So I would write that down, because that way, when you are updating your resume, you're updating it with the ideas of the qualities you want to enhance and highlight, and you're looking for the jobs that have the keywords that are in the love section, and you are a little bit more aware of the things where you're like, "I don't do well in these spaces." Yeah, if you're not a team player, then a job that is like, "You're going to be working on this team, and it's integral that you work with the team," you can go, "Oh, I need a more solo job." It's okay.Clare Solly 39:47  Yeah. And then also, instead of trying to... because the instinct is to pick at yourself and go, "What did I do wrong? What was wrong with me?" Right? We do that in any kind of relationship, whether it is a work relationship or a personal relationship. We focus it back on ourselves, and sometimes it's not you. I mean, sometimes it is, but sometimes it's just not what you're capable of, or not the skills that you have, or not the education you have. So when you start taking yourself apart, turn it back positively. And maybe instead of sitting there... we all get to mourn, right? We all get to mourn, we all get to hurt. But instead of sitting there and picking apart yourself and panicking about not having a job, go on YouTube and look up some skill videos. Yeah, go to university websites and take a look at courses.Lesley Logan 40:46  Universities give courses for free.Clare Solly 40:47  Yeah, and if you find yourself sort of like rage-scrolling through LinkedIn or something like that, looking at your colleagues or looking at people that have similar jobs to you, look at their resumes and go, "What are the skills they have? What can I add to my resume that makes me more excitable as a hire? What am I missing?" and just kind of re-level set yourself.Lesley Logan 41:07  Yeah.Clare Solly 41:08  Instead of going internal, look to the external and see how you can grow, and be it till you see it.Lesley Logan 41:15  I love that. Oh my god, we could talk forever on this topic because I feel like there's just so much to say, but I do feel like that's some great, helpful stuff because being it till you see it often isn't staying where you are, it's acting like the person you want to be when you're there, and that can mean building an exit strategy, or it could mean letting go of the place that you're at. So I love this, Clare. We're going to take a brief break, and then we're going to find out where people can find you, follow you, connect with you, and get your Be It Action Items. Lesley Logan 41:44  Okay, Clare, where do you hang out these days?Clare Solly 41:48  I am still on the Instagram as a bookstagrammer. You can find me at @YouWontBeSolly on the Instagram and the TikTok, although I'm slow to post these days. You can find me and my books at www.claresolly.com Clare with no I, and there will be more news in a couple of years once I get that PhD rolling and going.Lesley Logan 42:08  I know. I'll have to have you back on for that. "How did you 'be it till you see it' to call yourself a doctor?"Clare Solly 42:13  I know, I'm so excited I'm here. Schedule me now for that. Set your alarms. And I would say for this topic, my Be It Action Items.Lesley Logan 42:21  Bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it until they see it. I mean, I know you know the thing, but I gotta say it, you know, for the new listeners.Clare Solly 42:29  I love it. New listeners.Lesley Logan 42:30  New listeners, this is the section where they tell us your action items.Clare Solly 42:35  I mean, I think take a look at yourself, where you are, look at where you can improve, and create an exit strategy if you are ready to leave, just so you have it. In a sane moment, you're ready to go when you have that crazy moment later.Lesley Logan 42:53  Yeah, yeah, I think it's important. Why not, while you don't need to do it, think about what to do, because it is really hard to do it when you, unless you're like me, and you're clear-headed when the shoe drops.Clare Solly 43:09  Yeah.Lesley Logan 43:10  And some people are, but I think a lot of people need a little more time to wrap their heads around it, and that's okay.Clare Solly 43:15  We think about retirement, we think about when our job is ending towards the end of our life, we think about again when you're in a fire situation, when you're in an earthquake situation, like, we practice those things. And even though it feels a little bit like dun dun dun to think about the ending of your job, if you prepare for it now, you'll be ready for it when it happens. If it happens, maybe it won't, maybe you'll be forever in your job and happy.Lesley Logan 43:41  Yeah, well, I hope so. Okay, thanks so much, Clare, for being you and bringing up this topic. I think this is so fun. You guys, make sure you tell us which parts of this you loved, and I know it's more conversational if you're used to listening to this, but I think that that's also even more fun. So I'm kind of into that as well. And share this with a friend who needs to hear it, share with a friend who's like constantly complaining about their job—like, you don't have to be their coach for them. Guess what, you could just go, "Wow, you should listen to the Be It Till You See It podcast, yeah, with Lesley and Clare on this topic." And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 44:11  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 44:53  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 44:58  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 45:03  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 45:10  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 45:13  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this FYF episode, Lesley Logan celebrates teaching the largest audience of her career — and why getting out of her comfort zone in a massive way became the win worth honoring. She shares a relatable airport moment about inconsistent TSA experiences, lifts up community wins from listeners with new Pilates equipment and health recoveries, and shares why the things that scare you are often the things you're meant to be doing. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:The new FYF format pairing every "moment" with a win.Lesley's frustration with inconsistent TSA rules across U.S. airports.Why teaching her largest-ever audience stretched Lesley's comfort zone.Leah's classical reformer and Sheilz's active body recovery.Episode References/Links:Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questionsIn this episode you will learn about:How new interests reveal we're outgrowing old versions of ourselves.Why losing touch with people during growth isn't personal or final.Why judging your old self is a sign you need gratitude practice.Evaluating what to take with you and what to let go.Working backwards from your future self to take action today.Episode References/Links:Ep. 3 with Rob Mack - https://beitpod.com/ep3Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  It's fuck yeah Friday. Lesley Logan 0:01  Fuck yeah. Lesley Logan 0:02  Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:47  Hey, Be It babe, how are you? Welcome to our Friday episode. Oh my God, and on this Friday, it is a special. It's my dad's 74th birthday, so there's that. That's not what this episode's about. So we used to celebrate something inspiring on the internet, but let's be real, the internet's not so inspiring. It usually makes me pissed off at someone's rights we're losing. So we're changing it to something we actually do in our community. So if you're an Agency member, an eLevate member, you know the drill. You are allowed to need a moment. Sometimes you can complain, but you have to immediately have a win. So it's gonna go the thing I need a moment about, then my win, so I don't just vomit on you, or it could be someone else's moment and their win, like Brad's or a friend who says any, and then it's your win. And if you want to need a moment and have a win, you can send that in to beitpod.com/questions. We'll have to change that link, but for now, beitpod.com/questions will allow you to fill out a form, and then we can shout your wins and moments out if you want. But you can't send a moment in without a win, so don't come complaining at me and not have a win. Don't make me come ask for it. I'm just gonna go, not even listening, not here to just take the dump. You got to have both. Lesley Logan 1:56  So, my moment right now is, okay, I am at the airport on this date, and think about this airport. I actually like this airport that I have to fly out of. But what annoys me is that this TSA is different than other TSAs. And how come, in the US, every airport, whether I have TSA PreCheck, Clear, I'm shoved in with the regular people, sorry, people who are regular people, I'm shoved into the regular security, but with a sign that I have TSA. How come it's different? How come sometimes your shoes are on, sometimes your shoes are off, sometimes there's a computer in, sometimes it's not? And then they yell at you like you should know. I'm like, oh, should I take the computer out? No. And it's like, okay, right. But the last airport I was just at yesterday wanted my computer. These are not stupid questions. I'm not an idiot. I can hear you, you know, I'm sure. And here's a, I know your job sucks. We don't pay you when our government doesn't do its fucking work, you know? So I get it, but also, especially if I'm in TSA PreCheck or Clear, I clearly am someone who flies a lot. So treat me a little bit like it's a legit question, that's all I'm saying. And also, is it too much to ask that we're either keeping the shoes on, we're keeping them off, we're putting the computers in the bags, we're taking them out? Just have a sign, then that would be really easy. A lot of the signs they have are outdated, so you're doing what the sign says, and they're like, why are you doing that? It's like, because the sign back there said so. Just pissing me off. Lesley Logan 3:04  My win, since I just got all that out, my win that I'm celebrating, though, is that last month I taught at this really amazing, massive event. I taught the most people I've ever taught in my life in one space. I had the most fun doing it. I got out of my comfort zone in a massive way, a massive way. I stayed up later than I normally ever would, and I had a good time. And I just want to say, this old dog can do new tricks, right? So I'm really celebrating the fact that I've put myself into a situation that was a little bit out of my comfort zone, a lot of it outside of my comfort zone, but in order to spread the word of Pilates, and I got to do it in a big, massive way. And now I'm like, how can I do that all the time? That was a cool stage. I want to do that all the time. So, you never know. The things that scare you are the things that you're supposed to be doing, you know? Lesley Logan 4:09  So, okay, your wins. Leah sent, "My first classical reformer tower combo and Wunda Chair were delivered this week." Cool, Leah, that's so cool. I'm excited for you. Let me know if you have any questions on how to use it. I can't wait to see. If you're an OPC member, send videos of you doing exercises that you're confused on, and I'll give you feedback on that. And then, @justsheilz wrote, "Glad I was able to remain active recovering from three surgical procedures this year." You get that, Shields. You know what? Sometimes we just have health years, right? We just have them, and we have to go, okay, well, what can't I do? All right, thanks for that. And then focus on what you can do, and really lean into that. So, way to go, Shieldz. I'm so grateful for you. I'm also grateful that you join us each and every week on Sundays. Your feedback is wonderful, your questions are great, and your support is lovely. And I know that even though your body might still be recovering from some things, it's learning it, it's hearing it, and it's going to embody it when the time is right. So thank you so much. Lesley Logan 5:08  Okay, send your wins in, guys, because it's fun. Because when you hear it, it's like a month or two after you send it in, and you're probably having a bad day, and you're like, oh gosh, this is annoying. And then you hear your win, and you're like, oh, I had a great day the other day. How cool is that? All right, your mantra. My uniqueness is a beautiful part of me. My uniqueness is a beautiful part of me. My uniqueness is a beautiful part of me. Babe, your uniqueness is a beautiful part of you because, oh my God, if you were the same as everyone else, it would be boring, and you'd still have imposter syndrome. So ditch all those feelings, focus on your uniqueness, because it is a beautiful part of you. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.Lesley Logan 5:44  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 6:27  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 6:32  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 6:36  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 6:43  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 6:46  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Outgrowing yourself rarely happens gracefully — and that's okay. In part two of the Outgrowing Old Versions series, Lesley Logan walks through the action of letting go, why hindsight breeds shame, and how dreaming a year forward helps you step into who you want to be. A grounded invitation to outgrow what no longer fits. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:How new interests reveal we're outgrowing old versions of ourselves.Why losing touch with people during growth isn't personal or final.Why judging your old self is a sign you need gratitude practice.Evaluating what to take with you and what to let go.Working backwards from your future self to take action today.Episode References/Links:Ep. 3 with Rob Mack - https://beitpod.com/ep3Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  Isn't that how versions of ourselves start? We get a new interest, and then we kind of go into that thing, and then we learn something, and then we grow into that, and then all of a sudden we don't necessarily need some of the things that we had, whether they're coping mechanisms or jobs or relationships. We can outgrow ourselves in so many different ways, and I think we always will.Lesley Logan 0:22  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:04  Hello, Be It babe. How are you? Okay, we're back with part two. So, if you're new to the Be It Pod, we have some weeks where we do an interview and a recap episode, and we have some weeks where we do a series and we talk about a topic that you guys have written in and said, "I want to have more information," or "I want to hear more about this," or "This is how I'm feeling. What do you think?" And so hopefully the personal stories and experiences and anecdotes help you feel not so alone in the topic, right? Lesley Logan 1:31  So we're talking about outgrowing yourself, a version of yourself, and so if you haven't listened to the first episode, I would do that because I actually want to reference some stories from that, and I'm not going to tell them again in such great detail. So, anyways, let's get into it. Right? Here we go. So okay, last episode we talked about outgrowing old versions of yourselves, and I highlighted, with grace and compassion, not the shame and blame, because it can be really easy to do that. Lesley Logan 1:57  And so, this week we're actually going to talk about the actual action of letting go, and then the action steps of being in your new version, right? So the stories that I brought up were inspired because I actually was looking at old photos of myself starting as a Pilates instructor, and then I shared these two instances of when I outgrew the retail version of me to be the Pilates instructor, and then I outgrew being the Pilates studio manager, teacher, trainer, all the things, to just working myself as a Pilates business coach and Pilates instructor. And I really will say there wasn't this green sign, green light, like, "Hello, Lesley, this is the door," right? No, I kind of realized I outgrew those roles and that version of me kind of kicking and screaming, getting so frustrated and exhausted because I had taken on so much trying to start this new thing that I was into, as opposed to a hobby, and now it's a full-time job, but I also have a full-time job, and then, wow, now I can take on Pilates full time, and this job has health insurance and a salary, and room to grow and expand, and I learned so much there, and I was challenged, and I got to be a big fish in a small pond, up to the day that I was about to have a panic attack because I was overworking myself trying to fulfill the agreements that I had made as an employee while trying to explore these new interests I have. And isn't that how versions of ourselves start? We get a new interest, and then we kind of go into that thing, and then we learn something, and then we grow into that, and then all of a sudden we don't necessarily need some of the things that we had, whether they're coping mechanisms or jobs or relationships. We can outgrow ourselves in so many different ways, and I think we always will. Lesley Logan 3:44  Now, I will say, I don't feel very confident that either of the changes that I made I did gracefully. I look back and see maybe if I know what I know now about how I could land on my own two feet and be as resourceful as I am, if I had that evidence, I could have had the guts to just quit the first time and not try to have one foot on an island and one foot on a canoe, and stand there, and still, and not lose my balance. And I also will say, the second time I outgrew that version of me, I didn't necessarily, I thought I could do it all, and I didn't really want to let go of some of the things because I liked the people I worked with, I liked the people I worked for. There are some things I hated, and that made the job really annoying, but those were detail-oriented things, so of course I didn't like them. But I really thought I could do both for a long time. But what happened along the way in there, and doing both for a long time, is that there was this part of me that was, "I'm really interested in this impact over here, and I can't do it as long as I'm doing this."  Lesley Logan 4:50  And so, I also will say, part of the way that I tend to, I tended, I will say, I'll put it in the past tense, I tended to become this new version of me is I lost touch with some of those relationships. In fact, when I posted that picture, one of the people who commented is one of the people that I lost touch with, probably within the first year of quitting retail, and I really liked her. And I still, every couple of years I'll be in Palm Springs, I'll connect with her because that's where she moved, and so she reminded me that I taught her in her house, in her apartment. Oh my god, this person helped me out, and I kind of lost touch. But because we do that, right, when your schedule changes, because the new version of you needs this schedule, right? The new version of you needs to be doing these things, or studying these things, or spending time in these areas, it means that we tend to lose people in our lives, and it doesn't have to be personal, not personal at all. Lesley Logan 5:48  There was a couple of people I definitely was ready to write off, but the people that I worked with in both of those arenas, the ones I lost touch with, I will say most of the time it just happened because life happens, because we get busy. And back then it wasn't as easy as it is now, but even now we're even busier, right? I can proudly say that I'm still dear friends with several of the people that I worked with at the second place, and in outgrowing the version of myself, they didn't get mad or turn their backs on me. I mean, in fact, they celebrated it because they could say they were part of that. So when you do feel this need to grow, and you're outgrowing what you once were, you have different worries and different schedules, and different relationships get added in. And because of all these different changes that you're making, because it's in alignment with where you want to grow, yeah, you might lose some things, you might lose some people. There's a coffee shop that I used to go to when we lived in LA every single day. I do wonder where those people are now. I hope they're not there anymore, but I do wonder, because you lose touch. Lesley Logan 6:48  And so I just want to say, you don't ever have to apologize for the growth that you're making, for getting to know yourself more, and/or for changing your mind. We definitely should be as graceful as we can when we make our exits, and I can say that I think I did as good a job as I could given the circumstances on those exits, but the today version of me would have made those exits completely differently and might have been able to find a way to stay in touch with a few of the people extra. So I will just say we usually do the best we can with what we have, and when we know better, we do better. And so just have some kindness for yourself because, depending on how many times you've outgrown a version of yourself, it might be the first time you're making these changes and making mistakes and learning new things. And so be thoughtful, right? Be thoughtful of yourself, but not just of others, because I think it's easy to do that. Lesley Logan 7:41  Okay, so when we look back, and hopefully you did if you listened to Tuesday's episode, I asked you to look back and look at the signs that were showing up that you were ready to outgrow and make changes and let go of, right? When we do that, we tend to look back at them as simpler times and like, "Oh, I should have just been happy." I think about when we look at pictures of ourselves when we were five, ten years ago, going, "Oh my god, why didn't I think I looked good? Why did I think I looked heavy, or whatever?" Like, "Oh my god, I look so good there." So we tend to do that with these rose-colored glasses, and I will just say life was not simpler back when that was because that version of you didn't have the skill sets you have today. So when you look back at life and you're like, "Oh my god, I should have just been happy about that," no, you have new skill sets, you have new abilities to handle things. And so, when you look back at that life, it seems like it was simple. It wasn't simple, but you didn't have the tools that you have now. Lesley Logan 8:33  And when you were that person, there were needs and desires that were not being met. That is why you got to where you are today, why you have your "be it till you see it" goals, who you want to become, because the life that you have wasn't satisfying you for some reason, there was something missing that you went searching for, and you grew, and you outgrew. And it doesn't mean that who you were was silly, stupid, wrong, or dumb; it's just an old version. I look back, I'm like, "Wow." I was so anti-transparent, and now I still put sunscreen on, but goodness, a little bit of sun, a little bit of freckle is not a bad thing. But I think of another example of outgrowing a version of yourself, like my first iPhone versus today's iPhone. When the first iPhone came out, we were like, "Oh my god, what an incredible phone. How lucky am I that I could have this phone?" And now, if we were to use that iPhone, like my dad has an old iPhone, and I'm like, "Oh, such shit, so outdated." And we would not, we didn't do that then. You can't do that to yourself. You can't take an old version of yourself and go, "Oh my god, what an idiot," because back in the day, it was pretty unique who you were and what you were doing, and you were this amazing invention and a slice of time that we'll never have back. So we have to be thoughtful and kind, and know that because our standards change, that doesn't mean that who we were before wasn't good enough. They just had different standards, and we know more, we know better, we have new standards, right? We have new needs. Lesley Logan 10:11  Example, when it comes to you outgrowing, okay, so you've outgrown a version of yourself, you're stepping into your new thing, you're being it till you see it, and you're feeling a little exhausted, frustrated, even still getting resentful, like things feel like they're not moving along. We'll get more into stuckness later, but you're trying, you're doing what I was doing in the last episode where I was like, "I'm gonna hold on to this job and do this job." And the reality is, once you start growing into this new version, it's really hard to go back. Once you learn that the Wizard of Oz is just a person behind the curtain and it's not the Wizard, it's kind of hard to put the toothpaste back in the tube, so as they say. So, hope this example works. Brad had this weird thing about he keeps our old iPhones, and then every time we get a new iPhone, he gets rid of our oldest iPhones, but we always have older ones lying around, and sometimes he even uses them. And part of it is he's worried, like, "Oh my gosh, what if I don't have all that I need that's on that phone? What if I forgot something's there?" That was a great phone to me. I really liked how it felt. That's kind of like us trying to hold on to people who no longer fit where we're growing, or schedules, maybe you are trying to do your own thing, but you're holding on to your old life schedules, right? Like when we moved to Vegas, I was trying so hard to do the schedule that I had in LA because I loved that schedule. But not only was I no longer an Angelino, I was a Las Vegan, it was COVID, there was no schedule to keep. I had to change, I had to outgrow that, I had to let it go, right? So I'm not saying you have to get rid of anyone in your life, or the schedule, or the cars, or the clothes when you outgrow yourself, but what I am saying is that to fully step into the new version of yourself, we do have to evaluate what has to change so that I can fully be this person. Is this schedule, the cadence of when I see people in my life, that has to change? Do I need more sleep to be this person? My god, the younger me could just do a lot on no sleep. My goodness. Like, is the life in the version I am right now someone who cannot handle complaining about things from 20 years ago in our life? Lesley Logan 12:34  So I do think, to fully outgrow a version of yourself, besides space and grace and compassion for who you were and who you're becoming, it is important to evaluate what are you taking with you and what are you letting go, and that's the action steps we have to take as we outgrow the version of ourselves. What is no longer serving us? What is taking up space? And, by the way, some of this stuff will just change naturally. When I changed from being in retail to working Pilates, the clothing was pretty easy to change, the job is to wear leg gings, but not all of it is easy; it just takes some time. But the action step you can take is to make sure that the steps you're taking each day are towards the version you want to be, and not the version that you once were, because you're just gonna get frustrated. I mean, it's kind of like I made this example earlier, but I'm gonna say it again because I want you to have a visual. When I was trying to keep the old stuff and the new stuff, it is like having one foot on an island and one foot on a canoe. When we moved to Vegas, we're like, oh, we'll go back to LA every month, every four weeks we'll have our same hairdressers and our same lash technicians and our same blah blah blah, and see our friends. Y'all, we haven't been back in eight months, right? Because while that story felt really good, the version that we were becoming by living here made it really hard to go back there because those people, by the way, it's not that they don't want to see us, it's not that we don't see them, but they were in their version of their lives, and we're coming in every four weeks going, "Hey, hang out with us!" And it's like they're like, "Well, this night doesn't work, I got things to do." So, sometimes I think we are trying to cobble and hold everything together from all parts of our lives, and the truth is, we just have to take a moment to go,okay, hold on. Who do I want to be? What does she do? What does she eat? Where does she go to work? Where is all this different stuff? So that you can step into that power. And then some things will naturally just go away, and some things, some people will step up so they can stay in. Or you might still keep the old car, even though you've changed, because that's practical, right? Not saying go out and buy the new car because that's what she would drive. We have to take some actions in making sure that the life that we want to live is actually in alignment with who we're growing in to be and not who we used to be. Lesley Logan 14:56  It's important you're also not playing the hindsight game. I talked a little about this in the last episode, but I think when I was going back to LA, I would drive around, and I could go, oh, I lived here, and you think about who you were, and the mistakes you made, and that I lived here, and, oh my god, even when I did this, you know more now, so we can't go into hindsight and go, I would have done this better, or I should have done that sooner or I should have quit that sooner or I should have let that relationship end that time. Oh my gosh, I'm going to tell you a story, but first I just want to close that sentence off with any type of judgment like that is shame, and it's not helpful. In fact, when you are judging yourself for who you used to be, it is actually a sign you have to have a gratitude practice, and this is something I worked with my therapist about. As I was evolving into the space that I am now, in 2020 she was like, "If you are judging yourself, that means you are not in gratitude." And so if you get in gratitude, judgment can't be there. Gratitude and judgment can't live in the same space at the same time, can't hold space for both. And so I just would say, if you find yourself getting frustrated or judgmental, take a moment to be like, "I'm grateful that I made this change, I'm grateful that I learned this thing, I'm grateful that I said yes to that thing," because it will help you realize you did the best you could back then with what you knew. Hey, so the story I wanted to share before I got those things out is, I remember, this is a hindsight game, I remember it was one day, a year before I broke up with my ex, I remember driving on the freeway and going, "Oh my god, I wish he would just break up with me because I don't know how to break up with him." And then staying for another year, only to finally have the capacity to blow it all up, and that's really what I did. That version of me had not spent enough time to really fully figure out who she was going to be, but I did that on my summer couch tour. Sometimes you have to do that, right? Sometimes you have to do that. But I remember thinking, "Oh my god, if I had just done this a year ago," and it's like, yeah, that would have been great, and I also would not have had the friends that I had, whose couches I slept on, for sure. Would not have had that. I would not have had the things that happened in that summer that gave me time and space and a schedule that allowed me to really grow into myself, the single version of myself, the woman that I really think, because I did that, is why I'm here today, and it's definitely why I have the friendships that I have and the business that I have, for sure, the things that happened during that time. Lesley Logan 17:28  So I just share that with you because, yes, it would have been nice if you made changes sooner or said yes to things sooner, but also you didn't have those tool sets yet. And so now that you are taking action, having compassion for who you were and gratitude is going to take you a long way, and it's going to make becoming the next version of yourself fun and a little more possible. Look, part of letting go and shifting is where "be it till you see it" works the best. If you are kind of in that in-between, you have the one foot on the island and one foot on the boat, it is time to sit down and just talk about, okay, it's a year from now. Who are you? Where do you live? What do you do? What's your schedule like? When do you get up? When do you go to sleep? When do you have time with your partner? When do you have time with your friends? When do you have time to do this? What are the hobbies that you have? And then you can just dream so big and think, okay, so based on this, how do I work backwards to be this woman? Oh, I'm someone who knows how to knit; I guess I'm going to a knitting class, right? I know I made that really simple, but truly, that is how you become the version of yourself that you want to be. I wanted to be a Pilates business coach and have a studio, and so I would tell people before I left the other gig, and I was still just renting space and doing some coaching, I'll just tell people, "What do you do?" "Oh, I coach Pilates businesses on how to be more profitable and have the impact they want to make, and I teach privates on the side." I started telling people that, even though the majority of my time was teaching Pilates. I would tell people that because, in telling people that, I was telling them who I was growing into, who I wanted to become. And then the hours that I wish I was coaching, I would actually be marketing my coaching services because then I spent time being the person I wanted to be. So when you are in this outgrow stage, growing-in stage, the best thing you can do is dream about like you're on the other side. Who are you? And then work backwards and "be it till you see it" that way. Lesley Logan 19:36  It's also important to remember you don't become someone new overnight; you do become her in moments. And I love looking back at those moments and saying, "Oh, that's when I was like, oh, that moment and that moment and that moment compounded to here we are right now." Those moments often happen before you're even aware that it's time to make a change, but they will keep adding up and adding up. And it's important to keep taking steps, the messy action, and continue to do what you can with what you have. We have a great episode, I think it's episode three, where our guests talked about how you're never going to see the top of the stairs, but you can see the first step, and so you take that first step. And guess what happens when you take the first step? The next step reveals itself. If you listen to the intro of this podcast, right, we talk about it all the time, action brings clarity, it's an antidote to fear. And Be It babe, most of the time we're not stepping into where we want to be; we're keeping the old version of ourselves because we can't see the top of the stairs yet. But you can dream about it, and you can take the messy action, and you can have kindness and gratitude for yourself and others along the way. You do the best you can, and what happens is one day you're the person you want to be, you're the new version of yourself. And look, here's the deal, if you are doing these things but you're stuck, that's going to be our next series. Lesley Logan 21:02  So, if you're feeling stuck, if you've been waiting for motivation, if you feel like you know what you want but you're not doing it, I need you to know it's not because you're lazy. You didn't go into some old version of yourself; things become lazy. It's probably because you're still operating the new version of you on the old system. When we use old computers or old phones, how slow they are, right? The spinning wheel of death comes up. Yeah, that's just because you're trying to do the new you on the old system. So we're gonna dive in deeper to that in our next series, but until then, take messy action, be it till you see it. It's a pretty great thing to shed something that no longer serves you and step into something that does. So, thanks so much, love. I hope this series was fun for you. Let me know what your takeaways are, your favorite parts, or topics you want us to touch on. Share this with a friend who is maybe outgrowing themselves and needs to know that they're not alone, and they didn't do anything wrong, and this is a really great thing. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 22:08  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 22:50  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 22:55  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 23:00  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 23:07  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 23:10  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Alejandro Cabrera Muñoz, co-founder and CEO of Green Eagle Solutions, returns to discuss automating 70 GW of renewable assets and why operators are self-operating their fleets. Reach out to sales@greeneaglesolutions.com to learn more! Sign up now for Uptime Tech News, our weekly newsletter on all things wind technology. This episode is sponsored by Weather Guard Lightning Tech. Learn more about Weather Guard’s StrikeTape Wind Turbine LPS retrofit. Follow the show on YouTube, Linkedin and visit Weather Guard on the web. And subscribe to Rosemary’s “Engineering with Rosie” YouTube channel here. Have a question we can answer on the show? Email us! Welcome to Uptime Spotlight, shining light on wind energy’s brightest innovators. This is the progress powering tomorrow Allen Hall: Alejandro, welcome back to the program.  Alejandro Cabrera Muños: Thank you so much, Allen. It’s a pleasure to be here.  Allen Hall: Well, so last time we talked, you had so much happening at Green Eagle, and it is, uh, amazing to watch the progress there. You’ve been around for quite a while now. You started, what, in 2011 working on SCADA systems. Uh, uh, there’s been a lot of evolution since then. Walk me through, like, the process where you thought, “Hey, there’s a business here.”  Alejandro Cabrera Muños: Of course. Uh, we actually started officially back in 2012. It’s been a, quite a, of a long journey to, to get here. Uh, yeah, we started, uh, back, back then. We say it’s a whole new world, right? If we look backwards, like, almost 15 years. Makes me, makes me feel, like, extremely [00:01:00] old. Uh, but ne- nevertheless, um, yeah, back then we were trying to, to cover, like, a lot of issues that were based on OEM SCADAs, which by the way, we still are dealing with. But, but that, that was starting point. It was, um- It was, uh, based on understanding that the, the renewable energy industry is so complex. Every wind farm, every solar plant has different issues, different systems. Even, even the same models from the same manufacturer sometimes have complete different systems, which complicates everything. So it was very exciting to, to start our careers in a, in an industry where nothing is standard and where everyone is looking for something that is standard. So that’s, that’s where we fit in. Um, yeah, and in these years, we, we started basically creating the f- the foundations, uh, uh, on top of, uh, SCADA systems. [00:02:00] But as soon as we had that, those foundations, we realized that this sector is not gonna evolve, uh, it’s gonna cope up with the complexity, uh, of the technical complexity, market volatility, regulatory compliance. That’s not gonna be solved by just having more SCADAs. So we created a layer of automation in place, which is basically what we’ve been, um, evolving in the last 10 years now, um, with the, with the mindset and with the goal that every wind turbine should be running autonomously without having to have people behind it, uh, supervising and taking control of it. Allen Hall: Yeah, and that’s a great founding idea, but that has grown from an idea to you’re automating, what, 40 gigawatts of renewable assets right now?  Alejandro Cabrera Muños: Oh, we’re actually now connected to over 70 gigawatts.  Allen Hall: That’s amazing. Alejandro, that’s incredible.  Alejandro Cabrera Muños: And all of them are different.  Allen Hall: Sure. So that, that’s a combination– 70 gigawatts is a combination of wind and solar and anything else? Alejandro Cabrera Muños: Yes. [00:03:00] Well, actually, one of the, one of the main, um, needs that we try to cover from day one is to be able to connect to all, um, asset classes. So we understand that, um, the challenge of operating a large portfolio for our customers, um, can only be solved if we have the ability to connect to all type of asset classes. So we can have to connect to wind turbines, inverters, trackers, substations, um, energy meters, you name it. You– we have to connect to every single asset class, um, because what’s important is how you manage that data on top of that and how you react on the anomalies.  Allen Hall: Right. Because I think a lot of operators are now considering taking your model, the Green Eagle model of s-self-operating, but they need that help, they need that insight into the operation of a solar farm or a wind farm or, or any of those assets, renewable assets, ensure those inverter-driven assets. You’re, you’re seeing– I, I think we’re seeing the same thing, which is a lot of operators decide to [00:04:00] leave full service agreements globally, and what do you think is driving that now? Uh, is it a financial decision? Is it a performance decision, or is it both?  Alejandro Cabrera Muños: I think there are many factors, but I think the main driver is the financial aspects of it. I think when you, when you delegate the operations to a third-party, uh, entity They are gonna optimize their services to whatever service level agreement or availability they are committed to. And for that reason, you’re never gonna get– effectively, you’re never gonna get the extra mile. You’re never gonna get any extra from there. Um, and that’s okay when the market is– has great conditions and everything w- is going well. But we are seeing how in the last years we have, uh, a lot of market volatility, negative pricing. Everything is becoming more and more complex, so many projects are actually under stake financially. And I think that’s, um, that’s pressuring everyone to look for opportunities to squeeze their assets a little bit more or a little bit better, I would say.[00:05:00] Um, and part of that is to take operations in-house so you at least you have the opportunity to, to do, um, a better job, uh, let’s say.  Allen Hall: Yeah, and part of what we’re seeing is, at least in the United States and, and globally now, I think it’s, there’s more action globally than there has been on mergers and acquisitions. So an operator that has historically had a particular OEM in wind, you know, say it’s Vestas or Siemens or GE, whoever, Nordex, it could be any of them. Uh, when they acquire another competitor or another farm, they’re bringing in a f- a wind turbine they probably don’t know much about. And, and that’s a huge problem. And, and there’s not a lot of resources for them to grab hold of. Uh, that’s one of the marketplaces you’re trying to fill right now, right?  Alejandro Cabrera Muños: Of course. Uh, as I mentioned before, if something describes our sector is that nothing is standard, despite everyone is seeking standardization of everything, right? Uh, but nothing is standard for, [00:06:00] for– and that, that’s the reality. So the first thing when, when you have a portfolio and you are incorporating new assets into it, you need, um, a solution that is able to connect to all type of assets, right? Um, w-we call our solution a three-in-one solution because first of all, it acts as a second level SCADA, so you can connect everything there, uh, everything there, and you have access to all the data across all your assets. Then we have the SCADA automation layer, and then we have the data analysis layer on top of that. Okay. But let’s focus on the operations, which was, uh, your question, right? So you have a new bunch of assets. Sometimes you don’t have any documentation whatsoever, but these are Gamesas, Nordex, a bunch of them from different years. Um, the first thing that we provide is a second level SCADA, so you can connect to all of those. But We have, uh, something that we believe is very unique. So what we provide to our [00:07:00] customers is ability to automate all these assets autonomously. And what that gives you, it’s, um, set of data that can be analyzed, and we can learn from what’s working, what’s not working, beyond what the manufacturer’s gonna tell you to do, right? So we have thousands of General Electric turbines connected to our software, for instance. Um, we know what works, what doesn’t works, uh, what are the faults that can be resetted remotely, what are the ones that are not, what is the success ratio of those resets, ’cause that’s a metric that nobody else has unless you have automation in place. Uh, but we can actually understand, is it working? Is it not working? Is it creating fatigue for no reason to these turbines? So what– we have all this, this, uh, un- this knowledge and this, um, knowhow, uh, for all these models. Um- I believe one of the main, um, value that we provide to our customers is, is not only the, the solution itself, but it’s also the [00:08:00] ability to be somehow prescriptive. It’s, it’s not that we’re gonna know more about how to operate the assets than our customers, but, uh, we have a sense of what’s the benchmark, right? So I, I– And that benchmark is very, very useful for them as well.  Allen Hall: So th- that’s part of getting to scale, and 70 gigawatts is a, a lot of scale, where you have seen a number of turbines in different places operating in different environments and performing at different levels. That’s unique, right? That gives you insight into really what’s happening to a turbine or a solar asset globally and also locally. For a lot of operators that just happen to acquire or, or, or take on a- an older wind farm, uh, they tend to get stuck, right? They, they, they, they don’t tend to be able to, to find their way through those little nuances. That’s a huge financial impact to them eventually, right?  Alejandro Cabrera Muños: It is. And I, and I believe that for many years this was something that in a way got, um– [00:09:00] didn’t get a lot of visibility. I think people were not fully aware of how much revenue, how much production they were losing just because they were not operating their assets at the best capacity. Um, now we have the data to prove what, what better can look like. W- uh, we have data to prove that if you follow the OEM’s, uh, protocols, you may be creating fatigue for no reason. Um, and there are improv- there are ways to improve that thing. So I think it’s, um– We are, we are opening the door for a new, complete new way to operate your, your portfolio and get more benefit from it. Allen Hall: I think that’s a very interesting aspect of the sort of the structural aspects of how a, a wind turbine performs, and a lot of that is driven by software. And you, you realize if you’re paying close attention to the OEMs that some of the software updates are not necessarily performance enhancements. They’re more of protecting the turbine because they realize they may have a problem. So it may be a slight derate, it may be a, a different sort of power curve that happens. [00:10:00] But a lot of operators don’t really sense that that is happening up close because they’re not into the details of that. That’s where Green Eagle separates itself. You are into all those details. And do you have a lot of operators just reach out for help immediately saying, “Hey, I have this Siemens Gamesa or Gamesa wind farm,” think about an older wind farm, a Gamesa wind farm Help. Just please help. Uh, whatever you can do, just show us you can do it. Do you, do you start to run a little test campaign on that site, or do you, or do you go pull back from the 70 gigawatts and 15 years of history to, to show this is what you can do with that particular asset to, to get them involved in a thinking about the problem a little bit differently? Alejandro Cabrera Muños: Well, I wish, I wish it was that way. Um, but what, what– It, it was that transparent, but what happens is that we’re working with the largest, uh, some of the largest utilities and IPPs in the world. So what happens is that they, they will never come to us saying, [00:11:00] “We don’t know how to operate this turbine,” or, “We don’t have enough information.” Um, the way they ask for it is like, “Are you compatible with this?” And, “Do you know… Do you have some protocols? Do you know the standard protocols to run these turbines?” Um, and that’s the way we, we start the conversation, and then they, uh, they, they get confident that we can actually help them with that. We only know about how, how much or how little they know about a specific model once we start working with them. And it’s not all or nothing. I- Ev-Even the largest manufacturer, e-even the largest utilities, their portfolio is constantly evolving. They’re incorporating new sites almost every month. So there’s always one site that they don’t, they don’t have expertise in the, in the house, so it’s, it’s normal. Like, basically not many people have expertise in some of the models from old Nordex or Gamesas or you name it. It, it’s impossible basically to have to understand all models in the world. So I think we [00:12:00] have the, the data, the benchmarks, and experience, and on top of that, the of course, the, the tools, so you can actually operate better those, those assets.  Allen Hall: So the name of your system is called ARSOS, A-R-S-O-S, and for anybody listening to this podcast, you can just Google it, and it’s gonna take you to Green Eagle. What is that product? How would, how would you define or describe that product?  Alejandro Cabrera Muños: Well, ARSOS is a suite. Um, what– The way I like to think about it is a, is a three-in-one solution, right? So it’s first of all, it acts, it, it, it fits in between the SCADA world and the REMs, uh, the REMs, uh, solutions. Okay? And they’re complete different worlds even though you see dashboards and they look the same thing. But SCADAs must be, um, must be able to be installed on premises. They require OT enterprise cybersecurity level. They can be, they should be installed on air-gapped infrastructure, so no access to internet whatsoever. [00:13:00]Um, and that they tend to be extremely complex to configure and, and, uh, adapt to every, uh, every different site. So that’s one world. Um, on the other hand, we have the, the REM solutions that are like more like a SaaS platform, like a Power- it could be Power BI, it could be like the, the normal use cases that you need it. You need something, some tools to create the reports at the end of the month to understand the performance of your assets, right? So you have these two, two worlds. So what we are proposing here is a solution that has been built for the past 15 years, but it fits right in the middle. So it covers Almost everything that you need from a SCADA and second level SCADA solution. It puts automation in place, and then it also gives you all the data so you can consume it in the best way, uh, possible, which by the way, now with, uh, artificial intelligence, it’s incredible what you can do with it. So this is basically what we have built, um, right [00:14:00] now. And the main differentiation here is that since we are in the middle, we are trying to solve all this complexity from a SCADA world with a product that is already pre-configured. So you can basically connect to your sites in a completely easy way, um, doing clicks and not a lot of complexity because it’s already pre-made for your needs. Um, because of that, the time to market is extremely much, uh, faster compared to a SCADA solution, so you can have a solution in thing, in hours and not in months. It’s, it’s not a project anymore, right? Which is, which it sounds like normal when you, when you talk about applications, it sounds like a normal thing to do, that you have a, a system running in hours or minutes. But when you’re talking about SCADAs, that’s like sci- uh, sci-fiction, right? Um, that’s what we’re bringing to, into, onto the table. It’s, it’s, uh, something that you can connect to all your assets in a seamless way, painless, and, uh, and, uh, off the [00:15:00] shelf.  Allen Hall: Well, that’s a very interesting way of framing, uh, the product because, uh, you do see both ends of the spectrum here, where y- there’s a number of companies that are offering a c- completely SaaS product, which is a very pretty dashboard, and it still relies on a human to watch this dashboard and, and to make sense of it, and it provides some insight. And then you get to the other side, which is almost a completely mechanical system, where it’s just SCADA data and, and you’re just picking up data for datas, uh, to have, basically. So you, you f- you sort of find that middle ground. The, the, the amount of software and technology that it’s in that space, though, must be huge, and what is the effect of AI bring to you? Does that help you more with just on the, on the, on the model side or just the, the statistical analysis of all the data that you have access to now?  Alejandro Cabrera Muños: Let me make a, um, clarification. Because since, uh, we are, we are providing automation [00:16:00] in a world that is mission critical, right? So there’s no, a lot of, there’s no room for creativity or probabilistic approach. It all has to be the deterministic, right? Uh, so when we talk about automation, we’ve always been focused on deterministic automation, so rule-based, uh, automation, and that’s what we have implemented on top of the level of the SCADAs, right? So that’s, that’s the part where you know how to deal with an asset. You have the protocols. You want to understand how they work, but you want to have certainty of what happens if the turbine is on fault and the fault is related to the gearbox temperature and so on. So you wanna make sure that there’s a reset automatically executed only if the temperature of the gearbox is under X threshold. So this very deterministic approach. Uh, but we have, uh, something, um, very unique when we go on the, on the other side, when we go on the side of the REMs. Because we not only have the data of, of the assets, we [00:17:00] not only have statuses, performance, availability, uh, production. We also have the data of how these assets, assets have been operated, right? So we know how much fatigue they have received, how they’ve been operated, um, have they received curtailments or not? How many curtailments? What were the reasons? So we can actually have a 360, uh, degree of all the data, including all the control, not only how they’re performing, but also how we are operating those assets. And we believe that this is very unique because only if you have all these 360 data, then you can actually enhance what you have on top of that. And that is where AI come, comes in, right? So AI, AI is great in, um, helping our customers in doing root cause analysis, um, dealing with anomalies are not well, um, uh, procedure. Uh, there’s no course of action that is clear, that you don’t know. It’s, they’re not like too [00:18:00] frequent to, to have one. Uh, mixing different type of data. Like I mentioned before, you have, uh, market data, you have curtailments, you have, uh, commands to stop or start a turbine. You have a lot of information there, and you can put all together. Uh, also along with the CMMS information. Um- Lastly, they get– they can pull that together to do whatever they need, right? Uh, they can build with AI. You, you can now do your own dashboards. You can create your own APMs if you wanted to. Um, and I like to think about it, like, with these new tools that you can create disposable dashboards. And, uh, the concept is that it doesn’t matter how many different dashboards you have in an APM, but tomorrow you have a, a specific case. And I think it’s amazing that now with AI and the right, uh, data structure, you can now create a dashboard, and maybe it’s just for one use case, you know? And you just build it today, look at the data. You have [00:19:00] a, um, a case study, and that’s it. May– you never use it that again. The trick for being able to, to, to create this ecosystem where you analyze the data in a completely different way is that we have been working on how to structure the data so the AI is gonna be able to understand the data itself. So once that, that layer is structured in the right way, then you can actually create your own APMs or your own dashboards as you need to.  Allen Hall: That’s fascinating. So instead of just thinking of a turbine or a, a solar field as a asset where you’re trying to maximize performance necessarily, you’re looking at it from the marketplace, the, the, uh, the shutdowns, all the, the things that are contr- overriding the performance and trying to optimize performance in this market environment, which may be very turbulent, and I think for a lot of wind operators is very turbulent, uh, at, at the minute just [00:20:00] because of the nature of the electricity grid. So you’re, you’re then thinking about Having an AI tool to help you do investigative work on the particulars, not just the global data set of how this turbine globally operates, but the specifics, that’s fascinating because that allows you then to treat each turbine as its own separate power plant, in a sense, but also to, to think about lifetime issues and how to maintain that piece of equipment in a much more efficient way. That’s remarkable.  Alejandro Cabrera Muños: And you have the– With AI, you also have the capabilities to automate all these type of analysis. So once you have a specific, uh, case to be analyzed, then you can automate that case to be analyzed in a daily basis, in a weekly basis. But that’s, uh, that, that’s, uh, that’s, uh, the world that we are moving to. Allen Hall: So a lot of what’s happening at Green Eagle at the moment is being automated and, and making it easy for, for customers to get [00:21:00]onboarded to the RSO system. What does that look like today? Uh, how do, how do I get onboarded? I have an asset of I got 1,000 turbines and a couple of solar fields. What does it look like to get me started in the RSO system with Green Eagle? Alejandro Cabrera Muños: Well, if you’re using our cloud, it’s, it’s gonna be a process of If you have a, a portfolio of 500 gigawatts, you can connect to our, to our cloud in a matter of like one month to two months So that’s something that you can do by yourself. So, um, you can create the assets, you can create the connectivity. The connectivity is done through IP filtering or VPN tunnels. All that is from the, from the dashboards, from, from the cloud. Um, then you can, based on the model directory, you can choose which is the, the assets that you want to connect to and through what channels, whether you have Modbus, OPC, and so on. Um, but that’s a- as complex as, as it gets. Really? It’s n- it’s not easy either, because [00:22:00] you need to understand what is a Modbus, what is a OPC, but that’s what it is. It, it’s not a matter of, like, installing something on site and doing tons of, uh, complex, uh, um, configurations. You don’t need, uh, SCADA engineers to be, like, building these dashboards tailor-made for your sites and, and all that is, is something from the past in o- in our opinion. Allen Hall: So you’re not on the telephone, or you’re not on a, a online chat with the Green Eagle team, because it’s, it’s, it’s– you’ve, you’ve done enough capacity now that you’ve automated this.  Alejandro Cabrera Muños: You don’t have to.  Allen Hall: That’s amazing, because I think that’s the first worry for any operator that is gonna make that leap saying, “Hey, I need a little bit of help with this wind farm or this solar site,” is that, “Oh, I gotta be on the phone. I gotta– There’s a lot of im- of onboarding that has to happen,” and you’ve eliminated that.  Alejandro Cabrera Muños: Well, first, w- I, I totally understand this hesitation. Um, many of our customers are living in, in the, in the SCADA world, right? Uh, and which w- it was probably once a pain [00:23:00] to be configured to begin with, and I think half the sector is traumatized by these processes. So I, I tot- I totally understand that that pain is, is still there, right? I understand that. But what we’re trying to do is to, to move forward and say like, “Yeah, that, that’s gone. That was the past. Now we have a different way to do it.” And if you have, uh, either new assets that you need to connect or you even consider, like, moving to something more modern, something with more capabilities, something that comes with automation in place, uh, well, we have a solution that is painless. Allen Hall: Can I discuss, or can we go back and forth about the, the use of inverter-based resources, the solar and the wind sites, in terms of the, the move from grid following to grid forming and stabilizing the grid? I think there’s gonna be a lot of changes in the way that we operate these assets over the next year. Mostly, uh, I see action in the United States from the Iberian blackout about a year ago. They’re changing the thought process of how they want to run the grid so that the wind [00:24:00] and solar can keep the grid operating. Is– Are you involved in, are you involved in that aspect of how you operate those assets and how those inverters perform and, and configuring them to, to do more of the, of the grid forming and keeping the grid stable? Alejandro Cabrera Muños: I believe, to be honest, this is more related to power plant controllers and hybrid plants. So we have, we have made several projects with, um- With a mix, uh, of, uh, wind, solar, um, and storage. And wh- but what we’re doing here, uh, to be completely honest, we are not involved in the power plant controllers. Uh, we believe that that’s an electrical device and has, uh, uh, particularities that are out of us- our scope. But what we do is to, again, we connect to all asset classes, right? So we also w- connect to the PPCs, and we can monitor the PPC, the performance of the PPC, and we integrate that into everything else, right? So [00:25:00] that’s, for us, that’s another asset that we are connecting to, and that it make– it completes the view of, um, of sites that are now, like, almost like mini portfolios at, at the same place, right? ‘Cause you have, uh, different technologies, service stations. You have so many things that you need to orchestrate as well. So we’re, we’re w- moving into, into that area as well, uh, f- with the same concepts.  Allen Hall: B- so in a, in a sense, you’re able to monitor the health or status of the grid. Because you’re connected to so many of these assets, you have a pretty good understanding of how the grid is doing at any particular moment then. Alejandro Cabrera Muños: That’s right, yeah, especially in, in Spain, of course, ’cause we’re connected to, um, over 25 gigawatts at the, uh, at, in Spain, so.  Allen Hall: Alejandro, that’s amazing.  Alejandro Cabrera Muños: Over 25 gigawatts at the, uh, at, in Spain. So, so that’s s- it’s almost a third of the, of the installed capacity in Spain.  Allen Hall: Is there a movement in Spain to, to use technology like yours [00:26:00] to better monitor, regulate, control the, uh, wind and solar assets so- such that they stay engaged when, when the, the grid starts to, to vary a little bit? Has anybody asked you to, to be involved with that? Because it seems like you’re the right– you’re in the right place at the right time.  Alejandro Cabrera Muños: The challenge of all these grid codes, uh, in, in most of cases is just that There are tons of curtailments that are coming from many different reasons, technical restrictions, market, uh, dispatch, um, other type of compliance. Um, the, the first challenge is to just execute on them, right? So they’re coming, you need to apply on the, on the sites. Um, that was the first, the first phase. But now that we have so many gigawatts connected, and that we’re also participating in balance mechanis- balance mechanisms and ancillary services, what we are seeing is that depending on how your assets perform and how quickly they are in regulating, um, you are gonna [00:27:00] have penalties or more, uh, profitability in the participation of the markets. So that’s, that’s extremely important as well ’cause it’s, it’s quite difficult to, to measure. But we have all the– Since everything is automated, you can always track, and you can statistically understand which of the sites are performing better or worse, in what cases, and therefore you have opportunities to improve the regulation and get more revenue from it. Allen Hall: Okay. So Green Eagle then is, because of the scale that it has at the minute, can look at the grid and is involved in, in the, the grid requirements, so to speak, of, of, uh, curtailments and what assets are operating when, and also the voltage control aspects and frequency control, which is the other part of it. You, because you’re, because you have so many assets in Spain and globally, you, it’s amazing the number of assets you have. You, you then can actually, one, see health of the grid, two, [00:28:00] provide insights to operators on what that looks like. I mean, real time you could, you can do that. And then are, are, are the regulators then coming to, to you asking advice on how these assets should perform? Because it does seem like you would be a tremendous resource on how the grid is actually doing on a larger scale from a renewables standpoint.  Alejandro Cabrera Muños: Yeah. Well, fortunately, the, the regulator has its own also, uh, system, so it’s, uh, redundant, right? So as far as we, we are working to, to have, uh, the best system in the world, but, but it will be a lot of, uh, responsibility for us to just have the whole grid depending on us. That would be a lot of weight. Uh, but in a, in a way, in, in a, in a way, it already depends on us, uh, effectively. So, so the pressure is, is there. We have, we have talked to them, um, since we have so many customers, um, in the, in the– at this level, uh, we have to be very quick in implementing new grid codes and new [00:29:00] regulatory, uh, compliance issues and, and so on. So that’s, that’s, um… It’s a challenge, but at the same time, it’s, it’s very exciting that we are always ahead in, in this regard.  Allen Hall: Right. If, if I was an operator and I had Green Eagle as one of my, uh, helpers in a sense, uh, assistants in a sense, that helps with the, the grid code i-in terms of, one, understanding it, and two, being able to implement the changes that are coming down all the time. You have a resource there that understands it from a larger perspective because you see it from multiple operators in multiple places trying to do the same thing. That’s a huge advantage instead of you trying to na-navigate or try to understand all those grid code changes and why they’re happening and what it means to you and how do you operate your assets. So you can provide a little bit of guidance there for the operators.  Alejandro Cabrera Muños: Of, of course. Um, uh, the main, the main value proposition that we can have here for anyone that wants to participate or be part of the Spanish market is that we already have all this figured out. So if you wanna start from the scratch [00:30:00] with, uh, with a SCADA, industrial SCADA, well, let’s, let’s go with, let’s go with that. You’re gonna be probably traumatized in the future, right? Uh, but with us you have an off-the-shelf product that is already compliance. It, uh, h- we have already set, uh, the system certified by the TSO in Spain. So we have already gone through this process so many times, and it’s off the shelf, so you don’t have to worry about any of this. And on top of that, you have the Peace of mind that if tomorrow there’s gonna be a, a, a new change in the, in the, in a new grid code, well, which most likely is gonna happen, um, soon, uh, we have to, we have to do it. Because we have already, uh, a lot of customers that, that, that need it. So for us, it’s actually also, uh, strategic to, to be ahead and be fast in implementing these grid codes. Allen Hall: That’s amazing. That’s such a huge resource for Spain and the rest of the world. Yeah, that’s amazing. Well, I, I know people who are listening to this podcast right now are thinking, “Okay, I haven’t heard of Green [00:31:00]Eagle, but now I’m interested, and I need to f- find out more.” How do they contact you? Where do they go first? What’s the best first step?  Alejandro Cabrera Muños: Well, they can connect, uh, directly to me through LinkedIn, or they can just write to sales@greeneaglesolutions.com.  Allen Hall: Great, yeah, and Alejandro’s available on LinkedIn, so you can f- find him there. And we’ll put his contact information in the show notes to, so you have quick access. Alejandro, you gotta come back more often because the, the things that you’re doing with Green Eagle are amazing, and, uh, the, the scale is incredible. Congratulations on that. Uh, and, and I, I, I need you to come back and tell us what the next generation looks like because I know when you guys get ahold of AI and start thinking through some of these real challenging problems, Green Eagle will have solutions. So you’re welcome back anytime.  Alejandro Cabrera Muños: Super exciting to come back, uh, when you invite me. Thank you so [00:32:00] much.

Have you outgrown a version of yourself but haven't fully let her go? In this first installment of a two-part series, Lesley Logan opens up about the quiet, often uncomfortable process of recognizing you've changed, and the signs that gradually show up. Pulling from her own career pivots from retail manager to Pilates instructor to business owner, she shares how resentment, shame, and nostalgia signal it's time to let her go. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Why outgrowing happens slowly before it happens all at once.How resentment can be a signal that something needs to change.The trap of trying to be "both people" mid-transition.Replacing vibes with data when you're ready for the next move.The real reason letting an old version go feels like grief.Episode References/Links:Ep. 163 with Claire Sparrow - http://beitpod.com/ep163Betsey Johnson – https://www.betseyjohnson.comProfitable Pilates: Everything But the Exercises by Lesley Logan - https://a.co/d/0hTekOJlSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  It is one thing to realize you've outgrown a version of yourself, and it's another entirely different thing to let her go, because it's emotional. You can be forced to outgrow different things, because situations changed, and you can make those decisions yourself. But either way, like, we're all gonna go through it. Lesley Logan 0:20  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:02  Well, hey Be It babe. Hello, welcome to a series with me. No guest today, it's me. We're talking about outgrowing who you used to be without having shame and guilt, and this weird thing that we tend to do to ourselves when we're overachievers and recovering perfectionists, which is, "Oh my god, I should have known better." But that's not it at all; we're always here to learn and grow. Hopefully, if you do this life right, you are always learning and growing, right? So it's interesting because I think this could be a really subtle thing, because I think outgrowing who you are does happen in subtle ways. I guess it could happen in fast, big ways, but I do think it's actually kind of a volcano. There's things brewing underneath for a long time, and then it's, "I'm ready to come out, I'm ready to be here." So it's also really big, outgrowing who you used to be. Lesley Logan 1:52  The other day, when I recorded this, I posted on my Instagram account a series of photos of me from, I said they are from 2010, I'm pretty convinced the first photo is from 2008, right after I became a Pilates instructor, and I'd been inspired by Claire Sparrow, who's a guest on our podcast. She's like, "Hey, look, I posted a picture of me as a baby instructor, you should post a picture of you." And it was so cute, and she kind of, I was like, "I think I should do that, especially because I've just not been loving social media lately." I'm like, "Why not? Why not do this thing, right?" So, anyways, I was like, "Do I even have those photos?" Of course, I don't. My phone, the photos kind of really start from 2013 because the cloud didn't really exist, and so you would have, I guess, keep things. I'm not really sure. In fact, to be honest, I have pictures of myself as a child, and I have pictures of myself since my iPhone started. How did I have as many pictures of myself, now that I think about it, from between high school through college and my retail work, which is such a bummer, because what great outfits I would have had. Lesley Logan 2:56  Anyways, I went on Facebook, and I went to my old profile and cover photos, and I actually did find these photos. And you guys, just so you remember, if you all go back in time 16 and 18 years ago, you'd hire photographers to take pictures of you doing something. Now you just set up a thing, click your watch, your phone takes great pictures. Now, I have to hire photographers, and now looking at these photos, I'm like, "Wow, I thought those were great photos. Look at the quality of those photos." No offense to the photographers who took them, but, man, I mean, my goodness, if cameras can outgrow themselves, we certainly can. So I was going through the photos, and one of the things I saw was, "Wow, I was young." And not that I look old now, not by any stretch of the imagination—I'm not saying that, I don't even think I am old—but I am looking at those photos. I have to just be honest, when people say that they think I look like I'm in my 30s, I look like I am a child in some of these photos. Holy cow, people let me go into bars looking like that? Oh my god. So I definitely... okay, this is a side tangent, but welcome to ADHD. You know how when you watch Pretty in Pink and 16 Candles, they all look like such adults, and we're like, "We didn't look like that. Why do we...?" I don't know, because I look back and I'm like, "Oh my god, I look like a high schooler," and I was a graduate from college by several years. But anyways, so the first thing I thought was how young I was, and, whoa, when was my hair brown? I forgot I had brown hair. It's not the hair color that I have now, but the first photo, if you look at it, my hair is brown, and then it slowly gets to red, and then even more blonde-red, which is closer to what it is today, and it was super short, and that was in 2010. Lesley Logan 4:42  The third thing that I thought was that I am so different from this girl. I'm so different—not in a bad or a sad way, just 16 to 18 years of having outgrown her. The clothes she wore, I'm even like, "What am I wearing?" Styles do change, but, what? I mean, they're cute, they're all Lululemon. Hey, from a baby instructor, I was buying the brand designer. But the way I dated, I'm obviously not with that person, but I remember looking at this picture going, "Oh, I know who I was with at that time. Oh my god, oh my god, what was I into?" And I also, going back, I was thinking about the expectations I had, the fears I had, the dreams I had, the goals that version of me set. I'm so different from that person—the risks that I would take, all of that. Anyways, it was kind of funny to look at those photos and go through that, and then go, oh, I'm recording an 'Outgrowing Your Old Version of Yourself' podcast. How hilarious is that? On this pod, we actually have a lot of guests who talk about, "I used to be here, this happened to me, and now I'm here," right? And it's all great, it's all inspiring, it's all super helpful. Sometimes we get some really detailed nuggets, but I don't think we acknowledge or take the time to talk about the shedding process. What does it feel like to let go of that, right? Lesley Logan 6:13  So, this week will be two parts about growing your old self. So, we're going to talk awareness in comparison today, and then Thursday we'll get into the release and action, just so, because I know you guys like a roadmap. You guys like a roadmap. And by the way, if you do love our podcast, one of the best ways you can do to support our podcast is being an OPC member, so I do hope you check us out, what we're doing there, because there we do a lot about connecting to who we are and what we want, and if you are feeling like you want to outgrow the version that you're in, OPC is a great place to be. Lesley Logan 6:43  Okay, so let's get into kind of just like I think, I think to outgrow yourself, I think would just be fun. I feel I have a lot of stories. So let's just talk about when I became a Pilates instructor, I was still managing a retail store and high-end accessories, and I really thought I could do both. In fact, I wanted to do both, and I don't know that I am trying to think back, like, did I not think I could? Did I not think I could make a living teaching? It's possible, especially because my first year of teaching, I was just teaching the mat while I was going through a comprehensive training, and also, you know, I became a teacher at the recession, so, like, a lot of people were always talking about how they didn't have enough clients and not enough money, and I had this like safe job, right? Like, just a laugh, it's retail, but I had this like safe job, and my commissions were going down, like I could see the writing was on the wall, even when I moved to LA the year before, Orange County was hitting, getting hit sooner, but I did live in LA, and I did have student loans, and so I definitely thought, well, I love my job, I'll do this, and I'll teach Pilates, and so I kind of just was like, I could do this, so I'm just adding to who I am, like such the overachiever. Lesley Logan 7:52  Somewhere, though, in 2009, here, there were definitely some shifts. If I think back about who she was and what she was going through, there were shifts. And, you know, I don't think, I think it's okay to not really notice the shifts. In fact, it depends on how old you are listening to this, if you're on the younger side, you're not going to have that intuition we talked about in previous podcasts, because you haven't had experiences yet. So, for sure, I mean, in 2009, how old was I? '83, 2009, right? Someone can do the math. So just the life experience, I hadn't really outgrown a lot, because I maybe outgrew high school and outgrew college, but I hadn't really outgrown, here I was, doing this big girl, feeling like a badass boss babe, running things, and I didn't even know what a recession could do. So I definitely couldn't see the signs that things were shifting, that I was wanting more, that I was wanting something different. Now I can, because I've done reflections on all these different things, I can see the signs. Lesley Logan 8:57  But at any rate, I don't even know, also, that I was too aware. I think sometimes when you're younger, you're thinking you'll live forever, and so you're not necessarily aware that I'm not liking this anymore. Because you just keep going and you keep doing, and also, when you have the job that I had, people were envious of that job, and so it's really hard to go, "Oh, I don't want this," because also I had people telling me how crazy and amazing it was that I had it. So I can see the signs now that it was time to make a change, and that there was a desire, and I was no longer fitting into the life I was wearing or living. I now really understand that when I have resentment, there's something that needs to be changed. And so I do remember, at that '09 time, that I was resentful of the job that I would go to full-time in retail when a client wanted an extra session that week but I was working. And I remember getting frustrated that I could only teach for three hours and I had to go to my other job, or I had to drive in traffic to go teach, and wouldn't it have been nice if I could have just not had to deal with this traffic? I was already there teaching, so I just remember being a little frustrated about that, and I just started to feel like the store was holding me back from making more money, which is funny, because I was keeping the store job to have more money. But I remember going, "Okay, I think what I really need to do is do less hours at the store and more hours teaching." So this is how I was outgrowing this retail girl, but I wasn't brave enough to cut the ties. Lesley Logan 10:31  So after having that resentful stuff and getting frustrated and thinking about it, I came to this new conclusion that I should just shift the hours from one to the other. So I told the owners of the store that I was managing that I wanted to step down to basically a part-time manager, which is a key holder, and then I would be able to have extra days teaching and still have some days off. And they agreed, and ta-da, and I was training up the next manager, and then, two weeks-ish before everything was set to switch over, the owner said, "I have to let go of the other part-time girl." And I was like, "What?" And they're like, "Yeah, we don't need two part-time girls, because we'll have a manager and we'll have this person, and then you, so we don't need this as an extra person." And I remember thinking, "Oh, I didn't think about that." Here I thought, the store is going to benefit because I'll be working these three days a week, so my clients can come on these three days. When you worked in retail back then, people had a salesperson, so they'll still make their money, I'll make my commission, and so that's a win for them, because they felt like family at the time. So I definitely didn't want to screw them over in the outgrowing of myself that I was doing. And, by the way, that's a habit, a bad habit, I would say, there's no bad habits, I mean, but a habit, an unbecoming habit that I have is making sure that the changes I'm making, because I need to, and my life is going a different direction, don't always negatively affect them, and I'm trying to solve that for them, versus they should solve it for themselves. In that conversation, I realized they weren't letting me do what I was doing, but it wasn't going to be because they're going to keep everybody in their business, and it was during the recession, so they weren't gonna let her go. And I was like, "Oh, because I've known her, I hired her, I trained her, she was really great, I know she needed the money." I went home and thought about it, and I was just not okay with keeping this job and her getting fired, because as I thought about it, I was like, well, what happens when I do have enough clients that I could leave, right? Then they're going to be short someone, and then I'm really screwing them over, because they fired this great girl, and on top of that, she got screwed over because she doesn't have a job in retail during this time. So I kind of feel mad, but it was the kind of the slap-in-the-face wake-up call that I needed to just quit so she could keep her job. Lesley Logan 12:53  And it was somewhere in the middle of figuring that out that I realized that I could make a living teaching, and I didn't want to be in between. I wanted to go all in, and I think that's an important part. When you are outgrowing a version of yourself, there is this tendency to try to do both, be both people, keep the friends of the old life while you're in the new life, keep the clothes of the old life when you're in the new life, keep the schedule of the old life when you're going to the new life, because we don't want to let things go. We don't want to lose things; there's nostalgia for that. It feels safe, it feels comfortable, even though it's uncomfortable, right? It feels careful and doesn't have as much fear. So anyways, time goes on, right? I end up managing a store, a studio, excuse me, for the high-end fitness company that I switched my life over to. They heard about my management experience, they saw the great teacher that I was as a baby instructor, but the potential that I had, and I kept climbing the ranks, much like I did in retail, kept getting promoted, kept getting promoted. And I just felt like a big fish in a small pond. I got lots of accolades, and people at the top of the company knew who I was, similar to my last job. So I had grown to this new identity, but in doing all of that, I'd written a book called Profitable Pilates: Everything But the Exercises, and people were reading it, and they're wanting coaching calls, and I had a studio where I was renting space where I could make a little bit extra cash, and then I had retreats. So here we are, you know, this is now around the 2015 time. My book had been out for a while, started business coaching, and I had really grown as high up as I could at the time with the skill sets that I had for this company, and I was feeling the same resentment; it came back. So here I come to this new version of myself, Pilates teacher, and then Pilates teacher trainer, and then Pilates studio manager, and then Pilates regional manager, and Pilates business coach, and Pilates studio renter. And I could tell that I was outgrowing this again. I was outgrowing myself again. I could feel the repetitive resentments, the frustrations, the overwhelm, and I was getting exhausted because I wanted to be coaching more people in their business, but I had to run nine other businesses and this teacher training program. Lesley Logan 15:17  And so I think what's interesting is that even though the signs were the same, that I was outgrowing a version of myself, it doesn't mean that I fell into the last version of myself. I definitely became the Pilates instructor and the studio owner, all those things. But as she grew and she got more information, she was figuring out who she was, and I hate talking in the third person like that, so sorry I'm doing that, but as she was doing those things, she got more clear on what she wanted and what she no longer needed. And I think that's really important when you start outgrowing yourself; there's some things that you're doing because you always have done them, but you don't need them anymore, you know? And so I, while I took all these promotions, part of it was because I wanted the salary, because I wanted certainty still, and I wanted the health insurance, but I'd gotten to a place where I was understanding the business enough to truly understand that I didn't need those safety nets anymore, that I could make them myself, and so I just outgrown that person in me, too. What's interesting is in 2015, I did things a little bit different. I didn't do the, "Hey, I'm going to do this and I'll be here for that." No, I sat down and did some math with my husband, then he was my fiancé, we figured out what steps I needed to take in my own personal business so that I could let go of something, and we made it data over vibes. I think that's really important, because as we outgrow versions of ourselves, sometimes we are going off of vibes and trying to make reasons about how things we feel, and you know what, we got to get out of our head and get into the stats and just write down the evidence. What is real? What is really happening? Where am I going with this? How is this going to happen? And so I went from being this person who wanted to help everybody and support the mentor that I had, and be on this big team, and be a team player, and truly watch this company continue to grow and make a big impact in their space, to going, "I want to make my own impact. I want to be a bigger deal." And so it was scary to want to be a fish in a bigger pond, and I definitely worried, "Oh my gosh, does anyone know who I am when I do this?" But I did it. I got rid of the management gig in 2015, and I did stay on for a little bit for the teacher training because I actually really enjoyed it, but I will say in 2016, that resentment was starting to grow again, and I was like, "Oh, here it is." And I started just quitting things, just quitting this and quitting that. I quit my retail, quit my, as a head of commercial agent, I had a modeling agent, I was like, "I'm quitting that, I'm quitting this." I was shedding, because I was like, "To go into the next thing that I'm doing, I can't have any distractions." And so that was really different. Lesley Logan 18:04  So, instead of going from being an employee in retail to being an employee in Pilates, I'm now going into being my actual own business owner. And to be that version of myself, I have to really lean into the things that I want to do and let go of all the other things. And here's the thing, it is one thing to realize you've outgrown a version of yourself, and it's another entirely different thing to let her go, because it's emotional, right? Like, who knows? Mine were only like five and seven-year stints, but sometimes these are 20-year stints. Sometimes you were married for a long time, and now you're divorced, and so now you're in a new version of yourself there. I'm sharing work, outgrowing versions of myself, but you can outgrow all you can. You can be forced to outgrow different things because situations changed, and you can make those decisions yourself, but either way, we're all gonna go through it. And the hardest part is letting that go without making a version of yourself wrong, or having shame, or thinking, "I should have done it sooner." I definitely played that game. I'm like, "Oh my god, I should have just quit sooner. I should not have taken that promotion." When you reflect back, you can start to see how the signs were there that you've outgrown what you're doing, and honestly, you're just grieving, and grief has all those stages, right? You have the anger and the sadness and all the things, right? So I think it's really important to feel those emotions and to feel the discomfort and to go through the grief, because if you don't let those things go, then you're just going to try to take them into the next version of yourself, and that's not going to work. And we'll talk more about that on Thursday, and then also it leads to being stuck, which is a series we're going to do in a couple of weeks. So anyways, I hope that just sharing some of my stories of different versions of myself help you think about that, because I think what could be really important is you reflect back on your life and the different versions you've had, right? You've had. I used to really feel like I needed affirmations from other people that I was on the right path, and I think it was around 2020, when we were all forced to be in different places, that I was like, "I do not need affirmations from other people. I'm on the right path," because everyone thought I was so crazy that Brad and I were moving to Vegas, buying houses, they thought we were nuts, out of our mind. Best decision we ever made. Everyone's so like, "Oh my god, thank God you did that. Can you believe you did that? What a great timing that was." Yeah, I can believe it, because I didn't listen to other people.Lesley Logan 20:43  So, there's these different versions of ourselves. These versions of ourselves require certainty over our uncertainty, or other people's opinions versus listening to our own gut. And I think the beautiful thing is, the older that we get, and this is why I do think it's fun and beautiful to get older, is that you know yourself so well, it's actually easier for you to go, oh, that's not me anymore, I'm not doing that anymore, right? I don't wear that anymore. Those are not the right clothes. You know, I was looking at my closet, there was a dress I haven't let go of because it's a Betsey Johnson. It was one of the first designer clothes I bought, and I actually do think this dress is so beautiful, and Betsey Johnson is popular again. This dress should just actually be in a museum, it's so beautiful, because when I go to put it on, I'm like, this doesn't look like anything I would wear. And so, sometimes we don't realize that we've changed until we put on an outfit that we've worn, and we're like, this isn't me at all, right? So, anyways, take some time to think about and reflect on how you've outgrown different things, and then I would also say, take some time to reflect: do you like how you did it, knowing what you know now? What would you do differently? Have you outgrown a version of yourself, but you didn't fully let her go, like you're trying to hold on? All these things are really good questions to ask yourself, because it will help us in our next episode. Lesley Logan 22:02  So, until then, my loves, please share this with a friend who needs to hear it. I really want to grow this podcast. I want to help more and more people. If you like these series topics, send in the topic you'd like us to discuss for two, four, even six episodes. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 22:18  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 23:01  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 23:06  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 23:10  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 23:17  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 23:21  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What did you think? Text us by clicking here! We are unable to reply on this app, so include phone # or email address.In this episode, host David Nakhla is joined by OPC member and dementia care advocate Lizette Cloete to explore how deacons and their churches can better care for congregants and families affected by dementia. Lizette explains what dementia is, how it differs from Alzheimer's disease, and why many worldly approaches to dementia care can be misguided. Drawing from both personal and professional experience and a biblical worldview, she challenges churches to see those living with dementia not primarily through the lens of loss, but as image bearers of God who retain their value and place within the covenant community.Lizette focuses especially on the role that deacons and churches can play in supporting both dementia sufferers and their caregivers. She offers a few proactive care strategies to help the church; from respite care to meal support, transportation, and companionship, helping families remain connected to worship. As the number of families affected by dementia continues to grow, churches and deacons have a unique opportunity to demonstrate Christ's care through intentional mercy ministry.Referenced in this episode:thinkdifferentdementia.comEmail Lizette Cloete (for advice, encouragement and speaking engagements)Dementia Caregivers Support for Christians podcastDementia: Living in the Memories of God by John SwintonBlame It on the Brain by Edward T. WelchYou can find all of our episodes at thereformeddeacon.org. Make sure to follow us on your favorite podcast player, so you don't miss an episode. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for giveaways and more information. Find other resources on OPCCDM.org.  Make sure to send us some feedback on your podcast player or ask a diaconal question by going to OPCCDM.org.

Camden Bucey and Ryan Noha sit down at Reformed Forum headquarters in Libertyville, Illinois, for a special ministry update. They discuss upcoming events, new and forthcoming Reformed Academy courses, publishing projects, international translation efforts, and ways listeners can pray for and partner with Reformed Forum. This update includes information about the OPC General Assembly, the Rome Scholars and Leaders Network, the PCA General Assembly meetup in Louisville, the Greenville Seminary summer seminar on apologetics and evangelism, the Birmingham seminar on discovering Christ in all of Scripture, the 2026 Reformed Forum Theology Conference, and the Christ the Center 1000th episode celebration in Austin, Texas. Chapters 0:00 Welcome and purpose for this update 1:14 Upcoming events and the OPC General Assembly 2:48 Christian identity and OPC history course 4:05 Rome Scholars and Leaders Network 5:55 PCA General Assembly meetup in Louisville 7:18 Greenville Seminary seminar and Defending Our Hope 10:08 Birmingham seminar on Christ in all of Scripture 11:43 2026 Reformed Forum Theology Conference 14:23 Christ the Center 1000th episode celebration 25:37 Reformed Academy: 39 free courses and active students 27:52 Reader's guides from international cohort courses 30:13 Why guided reading matters 33:32 Reformed Academy community and group study 35:20 Courses in production and the need for support 38:07 Upcoming Reformed Academy recordings 40:02 Companion books and translated resources 41:40 Partnership, prayer, and Reformed Forum's mission 44:02 Closing and how to stay connected Participants: Camden Bucey, Ryan Noha

In this last FYF of the month, Lesley Logan opens with a Lucille Ball reminder that loving yourself first is what makes everything else fall into line. She celebrates wins from Amanda LG, including a Friday the 13th flash tattoo and a client whose mental health is being saved by her classes, before sharing her own win. It's a grounded, joyful reminder that self-love and prioritized time with the people you love create a ripple effect on everyone around you. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:A Lucille Ball quote on why loving yourself first matters most.A listener wins on adult stickers, joy, and Friday the 13th tattoos.How one Pilates teacher is saving her client's mental health.Lesley's road trip with her bestie from Vegas to Florida.Episode References/Links:Amanda LG - https://www.instagram.com/amandalgpilatesSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  It's Fuck Yeah Friday. Brad Crowell 0:01  Fuck yeah. Lesley Logan 0:02  Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 0:47  Hello. Be It babe. How are you? Oh my gosh. Welcome to the last FYF. We had a fifth FYF. This may how I mean, so it's kind of fun when there's five, because we get to celebrate you for an extra you get an extra chance to find another reason to celebrate a win in a month, right? Like you had five Fridays five times to find someone to celebrate. I hope you're doing this every single day. But honestly, if you just do it on Fridays, that's going to be great. Did you listen to last week? It was talking about how to build confidence. It was so good. Okay, so something inspirational, your win, my win, and a mantra that's it. We're just gonna keep it tight. Keep it quick. Here it is. Lucille Ball. Love yourself first, and everything falls into line. You really have to love yourself first to get anything done in this world. You really do. You really do. Especially with everything that's going on, you have to love yourself first. It matters. It changes the way people love themselves around you. It's a bubble of influence. Lesley Logan 1:42  Okay, your win. This one. We have two from @amandalgpilates. So I got a Friday the 13th flash tattoo because adults need stickers and they make me happy. Well, I too, have some adult stickers, and I agree. I love them. I got a few flash tattoos as well from the last Friday the 13th. And I love them very much. They're called little freckles, like I'm in brown ink. So they actually like because if I was born with a star freckle and a heart and then you also sent in, one of my clients told me that coming to my classes has been saving her mental health. Whoa. Huge, huge, huge. That's a huge win, right? Huge win. Look at the effort like look at how you're changing her life. Whatever you're doing is making them want to keep coming, keep coming when they've got so much going on. I love that so much. Lesley Logan 2:30  Okay, my win is, okay. So here's the deal. My bestie and I are on a road trip from Las Vegas to Hollywood, Florida, by ourselves. So I don't have Brad driving. I had to drive. She has to drive. We're doing it together. It's really exciting because, like, we've always wanted to go on a vacation together, and we're like, let's go. Where should we go? What should we do? And honestly, like, this is quite cool, even though I'm doing tons of road trips. I've done this route-ish before, and I'm doing something similar in August. Like to do it with her means, like, one, I'm not teaching. Two, we get to just like, enjoy ourselves and have a great time and and have time away from the rest of the world. And like, you know, usually when we hang out together, our husbands are there too. And, like, they often go off and do their own thing. But like, just nice seven days, just the two of us. I'm super stoked. I'm super excited. I and you're hearing this while I'm on it. And so anyways, we're probably in New Orleans right now, and then I actually get to spend a couple days in New Orleans, and instead of just like a meal, I could do like five meals. So I'm super excited about that. So just why is this a win? Because two really busy people planned time and money away from their lives and their family and their routines to be together, and that's a win. You can do it too. You don't have to do a road trip with your bestie, but do the thing that you and your bestie said you're gonna do, and then send it in to the beitpod.com/questions so we can celebrate your wins, because you are amazing. You're doing great work, taking care of yourself, prioritizing yourself, loving yourself first, is like the thing, the secret to life. So thank you. Be it, babe. Lesley Logan 3:59  Here is your mantra, although we could just have Lucille Ball's be a mantra. I fully embrace all parts of me. I fully embrace all parts of me. You fully embrace all parts of you, Be It babe. Yes, you do. All right, go Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 4:16  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 4:58  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 5:03  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 5:08  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 5:15  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 5:18  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this recap episode, Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell break down the transformative conversation with Inna Segal, the bestselling author of The Secret Language of Your Body and a pioneer in the field of energy medicine and human consciousness. Together they explore why perfection stifles creation, how the gut operates as our emotional center, and what it actually takes to build and uphold healthy boundaries with the people closest to us. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Why perfection is the enemy of creation and refinement leads to growth.How the gut assimilates daily experiences as our emotional center.What healthy boundaries require: confidence, clarity, and consistent enforcement.The difference between what happened to you and your healing.How creating time to self-reflect helps you discover what you stand for.Episode References/Links:Amnesty International – https://www.amnesty.orgThe Observer – https://www.theguardian.com/observereLevate Mentorship Program – https://lesleylogan.co/elevateOPC Summer Tour – https://opc.me/tourOPC Pilates Flashcards – https://opc.me/flashcardsOPC YouTube – https://opc.me/ytNevada SPCA – https://nevadaspca.orgRSPCA – https://www.rspca.org.ukInna Segal's Website & Free Resources - https://www.innasegal.comThe Secret Language of Your Body by Inna Segal – https://a.co/d/0fL3MSwgThe Holistic Psychologist – https://theholisticpsychologist.comEp. 183 with Dr. Kelly Bender - https://beitpod.com/ep183Submit your wins or questions – https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Inna Segal 0:00  I'd always relied on somebody else to do all the healing work, and I never actually did any thing myself, because I didn't think I was qualified to do it. I think that I knew how to do it, except that it was my body, and it's your body, when you're that you're dealing with. So nobody knows as much about you as you know about yourself.Lesley Logan 0:23  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:05  Okay, Be It babe, we've talked we've we've had people talk about boundaries. We've had people talk about listening to your body. We've had people talk about getting to know yourself. And now I have your guest expert who is able to actually explain how to do all these things, explain how to actually listen to your body, explain how you can heal yourself. And really, we had a really great conversation about what it really looks like. And I mean, she was just describing being it till you see it in such a beautiful way, without saying it. And I just, I'm so excited that you're about to listen to this episode, because I just finished doing it, and I am pleased as punch. And I feel like I learned so much and or and even things that I think I knew were more solidified, and I have more confidence in that. And I just, I'm excited for you. So here's Inna Segal. Lesley Logan 1:52  All right, be it, babe, I'm ready to have this conversation. I got to talk with our guest today before the end of last year, and I was so excited about all the knowledge she has in the area that we're going to dive into. Also, she's a best selling author, and I think it's really important to bring that up. She is the author of The Secret Language of Your Body, and, you know, as a Pilates instructor and someone who's really big on mind-body connection, I couldn't agree more with someone having access and information on how we can get to know and talk with our bodies in such a better way, I think the world will be a better place if we all could do that. So Inna Segal, if you can tell everyone who you are and what you rock at.Inna Segal 2:28  Thank you, Lesley. So I teach people how to connect to their body and listen to their body, but I'm going to also add the soul and really work with it to transform their health, to transform their emotions, to essentially transform any area of their life which is stuck a block into something that is much more wise, flowing and deep. And so they get to know themselves in a deeper, more enriched kind of way. So it's not a surface-based experience, it's a deep dive experience.Lesley Logan 3:07  I know and that's the hard one. The surface is, I think, easy and necessary to, you know, wake up and go to bed and do some stuff in between, but getting to know ourselves on a soul level. I mean, that is, it feels like it shouldn't be tricky, but for whatever reason, it feels like it's the hardest thing for people to do.Inna Segal 3:29  I think it's the hardest thing just because we are not taught from an earlier age that we should listen to our inner self, and that's through our sensations, through our emotions, through what's really going on within ourselves, but we're actually taught to ignore everything and adjust ourselves to everybody else in the world, and so because of that, I feel that it became hard thing, instead of natural, and part of everybody's life is to go my body is essentially showing me if I'm in alignment with my life, with my purpose, with my relationships, with every part of my life, with my health, or it's not, you know, and if it's not, what is it that I need to change and adjust so that it can be?Lesley Logan 4:27  Yeah, yeah. I mean, oh my gosh, you said so much there that I couldn't agree more with. I think we're all taught from a very early age, you know, to not listen to our feelings even as babies, you know, babies are crying and people are like, it's okay, you're okay, and it's like, well, they're crying, you know? And I get, I get why. And by the way, we have a lot of moms listen, I get why. I probably too be like, you're fine, stop crying. But also like, you know, at what point are we teaching our, teaching them at such a young age to not listen to how they feel, or for us to not listen to how they feel, or how we feel so, so I find maybe our bodies are their own language, like we, we grow up learning English, but our bodies are speaking Spanish, and we were never taught to listen to that language. But maybe I'm simplifying a little bit. Inna, can you I would just want to know before we get too deep into this. Like, were you born knowing all this? Did your parents teach you this? Did you come from a mother who made sure you knew how to talk to your get to know your soul and your purpose or how did you get here?Inna Segal 5:28  Well, my mom was actually she's very open-minded as a person, but she was very much when I was growing up. She was very much into the medical world, and she thought the word of the doctor was kind of the Word of God, essentially. So I went to a lot of doctors when I was younger. I had digestive issues, I had psoriasis, I had really bad back pain, sciatica, inflammation in my back, a twisted back, and I had anxiety just from constantly being uncomfortable inside my body and being in pain. And essentially, I want to say my turning point came when I ended up seeing this chiropractor that I'd seen for a while, and he came out of his office looked at me and said, Your body's stuck. And I said, yeah, I know that part. What are you going to do to help me? And I've been seeing him for a while, so this was not my first session with him.Lesley Logan 6:28  That's good. He's not like, look like, you're stuck.Inna Segal 6:32  Yeah, you know, we'd known each other for some time, and he so he's basically, he basically said, you know, your your body wants to be stuck at this point go home, and I didn't take very well to that. On the way home, I was pretty angry, but because I actually come from a background of professional writing and journalism and editing, I was and I was studying that at the time, I was thinking exactly like you were saying before, from that linguistic perspective that I'm stuck my body's speaking to me. I don't know what it's saying, because it might as well be speaking. I felt like it was more Chinese or Japanese, because I literally I can't even recognize the letters, but what I was aware of is that I'd been going to see somebody for about it was two years solid, between three and five days a week, And I would have, you know, times, maybe a week to maximum month, where I felt better and I could forget about everything and just do whatever I needed to do in my life. But then I would have this crash, and all the pain would intensify and explode, and I would feel like it would get worse rather than better. And so what occurred to me on this drive home was that I'd always relied on somebody else to do all the healing work, and I never actually did any thing myself, because I didn't think I was qualified to do it. I think that I knew how to do it, except that it was my body, and it's your body to when you're that you're dealing with. So nobody knows as much about you as you know about yourself. And so when I went home, I made a decision, I'm going to heal myself. And I essentially just did the most basic things. I placed my hands on my back. I was breathing into my back because I realized that I was holding my breath. And you know, if you hold your breath, you are stuck. And I know you probably know about this more than most of us, Lesley, from teaching Pilates, and you know, and connecting to your body in that way. And so as I was doing that, and counting backwards from 30, it occurred to me to ask for something higher in terms of help. Because I thought, why not? Why? You know, at this point, I mean, there was conflict in me around, you know, whether I believed in it fully or not. And I say this because most people go, well, you have to believe. I didn't believe in anything. I'm one of the most skeptical people you're going to meet when it comes to things, you know, where I need proof for things.Lesley Logan 9:30  Right, right.Inna Segal 9:31  And so, you know, I have a very scientific, skeptical mind, and I ask, because I just essentially felt like, Why? Why wouldn't I? Why not ask for help? At this point, I had zero expectations, but this warmth just moved through my body, and as my eyes were closed, I saw this golden light, and then I said, for whatever reason, or I thought, I thought, I wonder what my back would look like if I could see it, and without any expectation, within a few moments, I felt like somebody switched the light on and I could see my back. And although I was a bit shocked, I thought to myself, okay, this is kind of my (inaudible) to Japanese. Show me. Show me why I have this. What is the real reason that I have this? And the best way to describe this is as in having a memory meets a vision meets wisdom, right? So it was kind of like there were several, I am very visual. I didn't know that I was until that moment, but I am and visually, I could connect back to memories of things that happened. But not everything was a memory. Some of it was more of an insight, vision, understanding, kind of wisdom, what happened. And so I saw I was born in Eastern Europe, I saw myself coming to Australia and going to school and being bullied, and from there, developing psoriasis all over my skin. I saw the conflicts that my parents had in terms of trying to adjust to a new culture going to high school and not necessarily being bullied for not being able to speak the language, but being bullied for not being one of us, so to say, not being because it was a private school, not being someone who came from a super wealthy family, not belonging to the same club, and all of that affecting me from the perspective of, I don't feel myself, I don't feel supported, I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I don't want to be here and.Lesley Logan 11:57  I get all of that. I get all of that all and I think so many people are probably nodding along, we don't realize how it doesn't have to be so bad that we would be on news show or be a documentary about you, but those little things that make you feel unsafe and or you don't belong, it means that your body becomes this foreign thing you you no one know. Not only do you not know how to read Japanese to talk to your body, but it just you know, if you can't belong in your own body, it's really hard to feel like you belong anywhere. And if you don't feel like you belong anywhere, it's hard to know what belonging in your body is. You don't know what what that feels like.Inna Segal 12:41  Well, exactly, and the last part of this was an understanding of ancestry meets my own, I guess, challenge everything interestingly was coming up around this communication challenge, right? So not being able to speak and be myself, not being able to speak English, not being able to speak the language, and I don't mean, you know, when I, when I got older, the language that people are speaking about. Oh look, this is my label. This is what I bought here, and so on. Lesley Logan 13:18  Oh, yeah. Inna Segal 13:18  So there was an interesting aspect of that. And then there was this ancestral trauma that was connected to my digestive system that took a long, long time to work on. And it was to do with my grandmother losing a lot of people in her family. And then when I was 19, I got pregnant. It was very hard for me to adjust to that idea that I was going to become a mother at that age. Out of all my friends, I would have been, you know, the one they thought would either have kids the latest, or maybe not even have them. So the fact that I was the first, and everyone went, oh my god, wow, okay, was pretty intense. And then, when, then I just had this sense that something was off, probably about a month or three weeks before the baby was born and when, but I was told by the midwives that I was crazy, that nothing was happening. And this is, again, how medical professionals often kind of push aside anything intuitive that shows up, and essentially, the baby died pretty much 38 weeks.Lesley Logan 14:31  Oh, I'm so sorry.Inna Segal 14:34  Yeah. So it was so I was in trauma. I didn't want to leave. I was, you know, I just want people to understand I was at rock bottom, even wanting to be here, and I was 20. In my mind, whilst I don't, I can't say 100% I was told that the baby would have died two or three days before, which was actually my birthday, where I turned 20. So it was, you know, so I kind of connected it to my. Birthday and all of this stuff and that I didn't want to be here, and what's the point of everything in life, and this, this whole experience of connecting to my body, was pretty profound. So I really saw how my grandmother and her loss, she lost her mother, and she she was part of a family of eight, and everybody died, except her and her father, who survived for a few years after the war, and she never really grieved it or worked through it in any way or form, because people didn't at that time, and everybody had digestive issues in my family, and so I could see how the explosion occurred. Especially, I had issues before, but after I had the baby, it was just, you know, I, my digestive system just wasn't working well, and during that experience, I cried a lot. I understood a lot of things. I also realized that I was a sponger. I was one of those people that just took on everybody's pain in general, as well as it all. And after all of these insights, I fell asleep, and then the next day, when I wake up, about 70% of the pain was gone from my back, and I felt different. There was something different inside of me where I went, oh my god, my body's working with me. I can help I can work with it. It's because I made this step towards it that it's coming towards me, even though I'm still super skeptical that, you know, this is not just something that's not going to return. And so, you know, over the next few weeks, I just journaled a lot, I asked a lot of questions, I connected, and by the end of it, all the psoriasis was gone. So that was the first thing that went that was and again, lots of people, my family, have it and have had it their whole lives. So it wasn't, and I'd had it for by that stage, for 10 years. So it wasn't like, oh, you know, I had this.Lesley Logan 17:10  Mis-diagnosis of some kind. Inna Segal 17:11  Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then, you know, I noticed, yeah, my back pain disappeared. My anxiety went down. Digestive Issues took years and years to work on. Lesley Logan 17:26  They do. But also with that generational and ancestral trauma, it just takes a while, because the gut just takes a while to, like, rebuild and do all that stuff and figure out what you need. Sorry, I cut you off. But yes, I actually it feels better that it didn't happen overnight, because that would feel weird.Inna Segal 17:47  Well, yeah, exactly. And that's what people need to understand, is that, especially when it comes connects, like, well, what's the gut about? It's about digesting life as well as food, right? It's assimilating, every day we have experiences, this is our emotional center, one of them, and we always talk about our what's your gut saying? Right? So we already know we have it in our language. So we have our intuition, we have our emotions here. We have knowingness here. But it's also all about how we, our relationships. It's an area that processes what happened during the day, your relationships, your experiences how something happened in your life, and what you believe you're capable of doing. It's kind of where your sense of self lives, and many of us need to clarify what that even means and rebuild it, because a sense of self has been beaten down over the years through all sorts of things in our you know, family and even at work, relationships for sure, and so this is something that is daily, right? It's a daily experience where you go, you know, how did I, how did I go today? Did I push down and push away and just keep going, or did I face things?Lesley Logan 19:20  Yeah, I think that's a great, first of all, I love that you ask yourself questions. And I think that that's where a lot of people, well, I think a lot of people get stuck on what am I asking? But also do I ask myself how am I doing? Yes, that's a great place to start. But I do think a lot of people, you know, it's, it's okay if you're one day, like, I can't do it today. I just have to go through. Okay, one day. But where I think happens is that people keep going the next day into the next day. We procrat, we keep putting off the prioritization of ourself. And that's where it builds up on top of the ancestral stuff. So it's we have our own stuff, and then there's the stuff. So I guess I have, I don't want to forget to talk about boundaries, because I know you've clearly had to figure out how to do that since you are so, since you were a sponge before, and obviously we're probably not now, since you figured this out. But for the people who I've heard of, ancestral stuff, like it comes through, how do people know what's theirs and what's ancestral, and then how do you cut the ties of that? Because is it visually cutting the ties? Is it telling your family that's your stuff? How do you do that?Inna Segal 20:31  Well, it's, I don't know about visually cutting it. I'm not gonna be a fan of cutting things in general. I think I'm more into clearing or being very clear in things that I feel in terms of, again, boundaries, it often takes a long time for you to gain your confidence first, to become aware of what is a healthy boundary, right? So you have to even come to that place of, what does it mean and who with, right? Because it's completely different with different people. So I can be incredibly good with having healthy boundaries, let's say with my students or with my clients, but not necessarily with family. And I'm saying it as an example, right? It's easier with people who are not close with you. The hardest thing is with those who are because you don't want to hurt them and you don't want to be harsh. And so from my perspective, I've done all sorts of things with boundaries. I've spent, you know, countless hours at different times in my life writing them down again. I write to get clarity, and I actually encourage everyone to do that in terms of boundaries, because what does it mean to you? You know, is it self respect? Is it self love? Is it space that you need? What boundary are you actually looking at? Is it actually you know, I know so many people that are single and don't have healthy boundaries with people that they have dated or been in relationships before with, or they keep going and then they wonder why they can't find the part, you know, the partner that they want, and all sorts of things. So there's many, many different boundaries that you need to look at. I think the hardest are definitely when it comes to your parents, children and partner. You know, I really think it's also how you present it and then sticking to it. So for instance, with my children, it's also changed over time. So there were times when they were younger, where it was like, well, you have to knock on the door. That's my boundary. Can't just barge in. So if you barge in, you go back, you know, and you knock on the door, that's a boundary, right? And they had to write down their boundaries as well when they were younger, when they were kind of teenagers, and so on. And then it became, well, you know, with my son, for instance, he would go into this place of overwhelm, and then he would bombard me with negative messages in the middle of the night. And so even if I turned my phone off, which was part of my you know.Lesley Logan 23:15  Yeah, you wake up to a crappy day.Inna Segal 23:19  Exactly. And so I said I had to clarify this to him over and over and over again. You can't do this. If you do this, I'm going to, I'm actually not going to speak to you for a while. I mean, unless you're asking me for help, don't, don't send me this, unless you're willing to do what I'm what I'm going to say, so we had a lot of kind of like, here's a boundary. Here's a boundary. Here's a boundary. With my mom, she used to call me, and the first thing that she would say would be some kind of complaint, and I'd be like, as she called, I wouldn't pick up the phone half the time. And she would go, you know, you don't pick up the phone. And I was like, well, let's think about why I don't pick up the phone. You know, what do you usually say when you call me? You know, do you say something positive? Is it something encouraging, or do you kind of attack and say all these things to me? And so again, we had to have a break for several months from talking to each other, because I was like, you can't do that. And then we had a break another time, because she learned her lesson where, you know, and I would say, I will hang up if you start being negative and telling me all this stuff, I'm not your therapist. I'm your daughter. So, you know, we need to change our game and the roles that we're playing, because this, I cannot grow the way that you're you're doing this. And also, I don't want to be in, you know, like you are with my children. So I need a completely different overhaul of mothering, you know, so that I can be the mother that I think they need. There's so many different ways, and I think luckily for me, everybody in the family eventually, because they kind of got the message in terms of what the boundaries are. But it takes time, and it takes a lot of effort.Lesley Logan 25:24  Well, I appreciate you, one, giving all those examples, because I have asked other people this question, and I don't get nearly the detail. I get be patient, but also be clear. And it's right? I thank you for the you know, the same thing I could read on a blog. What I appreciate is like, you explain how your how the boundaries, healthy boundaries evolve over time, based on the person and based on your needs. And also that it is, it is hard. You have to keep enforcing that boundary until you know it's an actual boundary that they see and you can and it can be appreciated. And also that means that they could have boundaries too. And I think that's where a lot of people who struggle when people put boundaries up, is that they don't realize that they too can also have a boundary they too can go reflect on. So I think what a great example you are. So thank you for diving into that. So I do, I do want, before I forget. I do want to go into that ancestral stuff. Because, first of all, I can only imagine what your grandmother went through. But I do, I do know that, most of us, no matter where you live in the world, if you're over 40, you have grandparents or great grandparents who were in these were World Wars. So there was, there was a lot of loss. And you know, I know my father was in a war that was not appreciated and liked, and in hindsight, was a terrible thing, and so not treated the same as people who were in one of the world wars when they came back home. And so I think all these things depend. So how do you how did you discover what was ancestral with your grandmother versus, oh, this stuff, this over here is my stuff. How did you kind of figure that out?Inna Segal 27:04  Well, I started looking at everybody in the family, actually, and I started asking questions, which were, was I born with this? I mean, in other words, did I bring this with me into this life? Is it does it feel like completely mine, or does it feel like I've brought it? I'm picking it up, I'm carrying this, and if I am, then am I doing it unconsciously in the same exact way that my grandmother, or great grandmother, whoever else did, or my mom? Or am I doing this differently? So I was closely looking at it, and one of the biggest things that we do take on, and that I was watching myself, you know, absorb, let's just say, was constant worry, right? Constant worry, because that was something my grandmother did. My grandfather did it. They had digestive issues, they had surgeries, they had cancers. My mom had it, and I was like, what are they doing that I don't want to get the same health issue? Let's break that down. So to actually, because the biggest thing in my family is intestinal cancers, I was like, okay, let's look that up. Well, in my book that I write, let's look at that right, and let's go, what causes this? And if I don't want to get this, I need to act in a very, very different way, meaning internally, not just on the external which means I need to go rather than just sitting in that state of tension and worry, it's like, what can I do to transform that worry? You know, what can I what do I need to work on in terms of that? So, how do I change that when this shows up? What am I worrying about? And actually, my daughter asked me the other day. She goes, Mom, what do you do when, you know, when things happen to her, mainly to my son. And you know that's different, because she was asking me about this ancestral stuff, and I said to her, well, actually, I start to think I know so many processes, right? I teach them, I write about them. So I immediately get my journal out. I write down what's going on for me, and then I look at what are the processes that are available to me that can help me and him? And it could be as simple as I am focused on buying into whatever he's telling me, which is negative and he obviously wants me to feel as bad as I possibly can feel because that's his pattern that he's learned from, you know, his dad and other people in the family. So what if I don't buy that, and I actually keep seeing him being healthier and being stronger and being, you know, different and so at different times. I mean, not different who he is, but being aware of where he's at. And you know what I found is that it's not immediately that the change happens when you hold something different for, let's say, your your child, but eventually they have. It's like they have something different to adjust to than that ancestral line that you've worked on yourself, and that's how you change things for your family.Lesley Logan 30:50  Inna, that is freaking amazing. It's like, I'm obsessed with this, because it's instead of me turning on the emotion that they're trying to get me to have, I'm visualizing the person that I wish they could be in that moment. I can stay good, and their stuff stays their stuff, and it's not going to solve it in today's conversation or tomorrow's conversation or whatever. But I'm not taking it on either, because it's not mine. I love this so much. Oh my god. I mean, I could keep talking about this with you, but I do want to pick your brain about something that we talked about that made me so excited. You have a whole thing you talk about archetypes and with masculine and feminine. I just kind of wanted to get into that, because I think it's really easy for, you know, with Instagram, to say, like, oh, you got to be in your feminine. And it's like, well, yeah, and I run my own business, so, you know, sometimes I have to talk about taxes, sometimes just got to do it. So I kind of wanted to hear your take, because I'm I also am someone who's, like had gut issues, and I've had a lot of people who listen, who have that, and I'm like, how do I stay not taking it all in, but also, being in this world, this world is a lot going on.Inna Segal 32:02  Yeah, absolutely, when we're looking at archetypes, essentially, what we're looking at is emotion meets your belief systems and a perspective, a particular way of seeing life, meets your life story. So what's actually occurred to you specifically, and also it connects to your ancestry, what you've picked up and you're playing out that you're not necessarily aware of. So let's say we are looking at feminine and masculine as archetypes. So if I'm looking in the feminine archetype, and I feel hardly anyone talks about this, I need to, actually, to understand my own feminine I need to understand my feminine line. I need to understand, well, what was the feminine in terms of my grandmother, let's say, how did she express that? And is that in alignment with what I feel feminine is at this point, so was she warm, kind, loving, expressive, or was she cold, disconnected in herself? What was the example of feminine from, let's say, my grandmother or my auntie or my mom, ideally, all of these people, because that became my idea of what feminine is. Now around the age of 14 to let's say 16, we are as we're growing in that teenage age, which is also an archetype where we're looking at our family, female and females and males, and we're going, who would I like to be like? Who is showing me something that is more appealing to me than the other person? So for a lot of us, especially of my generation, like you said, people in their 40s. You, you, you kind of had that more of a choice than the generations before that, where you looked at your mom and you looked at your dad and you went, I think I want to be more masculine because it looks more fun and I can and I want to, you know, for me, it was like, I want to be like, Madonna, look, if she can do it, I can do it. Lesley Logan 34:32  I wasn't allowed to have her on my wall, but I am so I feel like I missed out on an amazing chapter of life, if I could have had her as my mentor.Inna Segal 34:41  So, you know, and she was quite masculine, and since she went, I'm going to do whatever men do. I'm going to conquer the world, blah, blah, blah. So to me, it was that, and subconsciously, again, no one does this consciously. Subconsciously, I went, well, my mom, so. what feminine means for her. in terms of what I've seen, is cooking, cleaning, doing what you don't want to do, being subordinate to your partner. I'm not doing that. So I was like, I'd rather be masculine than feminine in that sense, again, not consciously, because my dad has freedom. He does whatever he wants to do. My mom does whatever my dad wants her to do, whatever she feels, she's constantly adjusting herself. And so I kind of went like this, you know, bull into the real, into my earlier relationships, going, oh no, it's my way, like I because I cannot be like what I've seen my mom be, which obviously then create a lot of conflict, and made me go, okay, so when I'm looking when somebody says, be feminine, and I'm looking at this, and it's still work, a work in progress, right? And I'm going, so what does it look like today to show up being feminine in terms of this person and that and I thought about it in so many different ways, and one of the easiest ways I've thought about it is through color. So it was like, okay, let's say I'm wearing pink today, so I'm going, pink is a soft color, quite feminine in that sense of expansion. It's it's a love color, but it's gentle. It's not that red passion, you know, and intensity. It's softer than green. Even the green is connected to the heart and healing the heart. So, I, you know, I might go, okay, so what does it look like to be pink and connect to my son, for instance, through that, you know, more of the gentleness let me, let me get to know myself in that feminine through that color. How do I breathe? How do I feel? How do I walk? How does my voice sound? Can I adjust my voice based on this color? Right? Because people get affected. And so it started to look at that. And I also think that when you're looking at again feminine or masculine, it's about role models. It was like, what what do I already have, and what am I missing? And so one of the things, because I grew up in, you know, both when I was very young, in Eastern Europe and then in Australia, most of the time now, in both of these places, gracefulness is not one of the things that you see in terms of women. But in France, you see that all the time. And so at one point, I was like, what am I missing? Oh, I'm missing this sense of grace that I find really attractive in terms of seeing in other women. And so where do I find this? And I was like, I need to, I need to look at old movies. I need to look at French women, not all of them, but. Lesley Logan 38:06  Yeah, no, Inna, this is so be it till you see it. This is the blueprint for how to be it till you see it. And I agree, oh my god, the French women, they know how to just like they exude luxury and grace.Inna Segal 38:20  Exactly. And just watching it and going, oh, okay, let me, let me embrace this. Let me practice this. Right? Because people think, oh, I am who I am, and I'm, I don't agree with that. It's like, you are a refinement, you know? And this is why I don't agree with this whole idea in the New Age movement of I'm already perfect. It's like, what? Why? What are you doing here? If you're already perfect, what's the point of this? Perfection, as my partner says this (inaudible) perfection is the enemy of creation. It's like, you're not perfect. You would not be here. This is not a holiday. You're here to evolve and grow. And, refine. You know, let's not even use the word perfect. Let's use the word refine. And, you know, grow in that sense. And it's the same with the masculine. What I find, for instance, is that people who find it very hard to be successful in the outside world have a very weakened masculine without any doubt, it's almost like that spine of the masculine is weakened inside of them, usually from childhood, usually from, you know, all sorts of belief systems and early failures and lack of direction and lack of support often from their family in terms of, rather than pushing somebody into direction, actually discovering the direction that and supporting them in the direction that is right for them. And so what ends up happening is that these people start having these very, very strong belief systems. But it shows up in their spine like literally shows up energetically in their spine, because lower back, for instance, is all about finances. And you know, how good are you at looking after and supporting your family? And I grew up with people who constantly thought about finances, so it was not a surprise when I figured it out I had back pain, and love back pain. So it's almost like, as you become aware of it, you actually have choice to do something about it. So with the masculine you can, you know, you can go, oh, I need to work on strengthening that archetype, that part of myself, but also my spine, and my ability to handle rejection, my ability to handle objections, my ability to to guide if it is my own business, let's just say my ability to make decisions, concentration, logic, so all of those are beautiful masculine qualities. But I need to, let's say, whether you're in a masculine or feminine body, feminine is creative. It's light, it's a bit chaotic, but it's, you know, it's flowing at the same time, it's colorful, it, you know that there is that divinity and spirituality magic that it has there, whereas the masculine is more about making it happen, taking something that's creative and amazing and putting it into practice.Lesley Logan 41:35  Well, and you can, I would love to hear, I want to make your own opinion for you, but it just sounds like we need both. We have to we all need both. And it sounds like understanding where we got our our vision of what those two things are and how we are using them in our body is going to either help us or it's or it might be what's harming us. And so the more we can take our time to discover who is. Where did I discover my feminine and where am I, where would I like it to be? And where did the masculine happen? And where would, where would I prefer it to be? And then working towards that. And I love that we are not perfect. There's no perfect. Just keep on evolving and refining and getting better and so but the Instagram world is like, oh, I have three friends who are like, I'm just gonna, live in my divine feminine I'm like, oh, okay. I mean, I think that's gonna be hard.Inna Segal 42:32  Well, actually, interestingly, quite a few years ago, when I was separating from my ex husband, I ended up meeting this friend of mine, and she was doing this whole divine feminine thing at the time. And I remember I would call her and I would say, we caught up three times a week at the time, which was amazing. And I'd call her and I'd go, oh, what have you been doing, you know, this week, besides the times we've, you know, caught up, and she'd go, I'm connecting to my feminine I'm just literally lying next to the pool, journaling, you know, getting the sun, having a swim, and that's all I'm doing, because I'm slowing down internally and and she would speak in this beautiful, kind of very slow way. And I remember thinking, it's like she's the complete opposite to me. I don't even know what that looks like, or what that means to just, you know, go, and this was happening over many months, where she just, you know, it was covered. She wasn't working, and she was, you know, she'd pick up her son and do some things in the evening from school, but most of the day was about this and and really embodying it. And I was well, firstly, I think it's amazing that she's doing it, but most of us do not have that luxury of just or a (inaudible). Lesley Logan 43:53  Right, we do have to kind of go do something today.Inna Segal 44:01  Exactly. And, you know, in the same way that it was beautiful, it was also really challenging for her, because then she was kind of like, well, I want to start a business, but there was all sorts of blocks that were coming up for her to start a n business, because she really got into that state of, well, feminine means there's no time limit. You just do what you want. You just kind of, right? And eventually it's she had to step into her masculine and start to balance it out, because you cannot just be in one, you know, constantly.Lesley Logan 44:41  Yeah, one or the other. Yeah, it goes the same with like, oh my gosh, I we don't have time to get into it. But on the ground, these people are, these dudes, this is what it means to be masculine. I'm like, is it though? Maybe you should find your feminine. Maybe you should. But I appreciate that you sharing that story and also, yeah, we it's kind of taking the time to understand both archetypes for ourselves and what that refinement looks like, and then working on what the transition is between the two and when, when you're applying both. You know, I feel like I could talk to you forever, because, it's so beautiful what you do, and you're so knowledgeable, and there's a lot of kindness and how you approach these things, it's also so patient. So, you know, I appreciate that, because, you know, our listeners are like, okay, but tell me. And I think they need to hear it does take time, so we are going to take a brief break and find out where people can find you, follow you, work with you, and your Be It Action Items. Lesley Logan 45:31  All right, Inna, where do you hang out? Where can they buy your book? Where they take courses? Where should they go to learn more about you?Inna Segal 45:39  So the best place to go to is my website, which is innasegal.com I-N-N-A-S-E-G-A-L dot com, and what I really invite people to do is to take a step forward. And in the last few years, what I wanted to do is to take away people's excuses. So I used to do these master classes, slash mini workshops. I used to charge quite a bit of money for it. And then I said to my partner, you know what? I just feel like I want to spread the seeds, so to speak, and I want to give people an opportunity for, you know, some time. And this can change at any point that we've decided to change it, but for some time, an opportunity to access these, you know, mini workshops for free, because I want to take away excuses, because most people have excuses, non stop excuses, of why they don't do something. And the only excuse I cannot take away is you actually making a time for yourself and going and doing it, right? Actually doing the course, the mini workshop, the masterclass, and giving yourself the opportunity to tune in and there's, there's several master classes, so there's option. It's not, I never believe in one fits all kind of mentality. Some, some people very new to my work, my book, The Secret Language of Your Body, and they just want to go, how do I work with the book in the best way possible, right? How do I work with my body in the best way possible? So we have options for that, where people can, you know, can can do a course based on my book, The Secret Language of Your Body, or they might, you know, we also did something called the eight-week challenge where, you know, connecting to your intuitive body, where I go through all the systems of the body through the eight weeks, as well as archetypes and tuning into your body. And this is a way for people to really get to know and understand all the different aspects of their body that shows up and really befriend it. But then I teach, I teach my kind of 10-day workshop of Awake the Healer Within which is what I'm most excited about, because it's what you know, what is the foundation of healing? What does it actually mean to heal on the deepest level? And we talk about and work with a lot of archetypes, from feminine and masculine to the victim to the, you know, inner child, to really understanding your saboteur and how you sabotage your life, how you procrastinate and so, as well as the archetypes connected to your intuition and your capacity to move forward. So, and there's a lot of kind of tools around working with the body and healing and different conditions and energy and so on in that particular offering, which is a master class as well, but it goes for four hours. You need more time, and we go into all sorts of processes. I always, I don't just talk in these master classes. I actually give people a lot of wisdom and processes. And then I have one on your purpose and the sole purpose, and what it even means and looks like, and one on understanding ancestry and understanding your kind of your stages of development. So there's a lot.Lesley Logan 49:17  Inna, oh my gosh, if you try it right now you can, you can access it for free. So you should go do that. Why would you wait? And if you have to pay, I think it's probably worth it. So, I mean, I learned so much already. You have given us so much, and I agree with that. Like, take a step forward so that could be your Be It Action Item. But if you have any other bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it, we'd love to hear them.Inna Segal 49:43  I feel like step one is making a decision that you're you're somehow responsible for your own healing, not for what happened to you, not for all the trauma that occurred to you and other people's involvement. But what can you do about it and without it, nobody actually really heals in a real way. Other people can do all sorts of things for you, but it won't fully hold, because unless you take that step forward, you're not, you know, you're not really understanding what it's about. And so step one is being interested, being willing to understand, taking that responsibility and then searching for it, taking step a step forward, and then I'm going to say is helping yourself from the perspective of, how does this become part of my life? Right? So, how do I make it part of my life? In other words, what do I do when I wake up in the morning most of the time, right? Because we can't do something all the time. Things change. But most of the time, what is your first thought when you wake up in the morning? Are you focused on meditation, divine connection? Are you focused on what you could do during the day? Are you focused on the positive? Are you focused on stress and worry. You know, what, what happens to you? Then you know what happens to you when you're eating, for instance, are you conscious? And I think that's a huge one for most people, including myself, because we're just running and doing this and this and that in the you know, can you start to create time? And I had this conversation yesterday, actually, with my partner. I went to meet his family. He's from the UK, so we went to England last year, and I was watching his family, and I was like, oh my god, I can't breathe because they just ran. There was no stopping, there was no kind of breathing, there was no self-reflection. There was just doing, doing next thing, next, next, next. And he said to me yesterday, he said, I've just realized that, you know, I do my work. We work together. I think like you do with your husband. And he's like, I finished something, and I go, what's next, what's next, what's what's next. And I never give myself time to really connect and tune in. And he and I said to him, yeah, because this is that's all you've seen when you were growing up, I was exhausted watching your family, and I remember at one point I did a process, and I did in the wrong place, in the wrong room, where everybody could see me, where they started coming into the house. I didn't realize how long it would take. And they were like, what are you doing, wasting your time, as opposed to, actually, I'm doing something really important. Why are you not helping us? I was like, oh, because I'm being I need to, you know, I'm doing something for myself because it was, it's non-existent, and he went, it's almost like I feel guilty, or I feel, you know, that I'm wasting my time. That's why, when you keep saying, do processes, but I have so much more to do, but it's practical. And what you're saying to do is impractical. It's you know, internal stuff, but not, I don't see the practical application of it. And, you know, he's like, can I feel guilty, and he's like, I need to change this, right?Lesley Logan 53:18  Yeah.Inna Segal 53:20  And this is many, many people, especially men, where they kind of go up, I just need to fix stuff, I just need to do stuff, as opposed to, unless you're good inside, and you even give yourself an opportunity, like you said, Lesley, to ask questions, to go within, to discover who are you? What do you stand for? What do you do? What are you about? You know, all of this takes time to self-reflect and self-connect. How can you have boundaries? How can you have good relationships with someone if you never think about it right, because that shows up in your body. So how do you allow yourself to access feelings if you're being taught to push them down? Well, it takes time. It takes time for you to explore, but you have to make that choice to explore.Lesley Logan 54:18  I love this so much, and also, isn't it so funny when we see our partner or our friends, where they come from, and then you're like, oh, that's why you don't sit still. No one is sitting still. And my husband will listen to this when we'll do a recap, but like, hey, babe, do you did you see yourself in that description of her partner? Because, we're going on vacation. And he put he brought the computer to the pool. We brought the computer to the pool. And I was like, I'm gonna shame you. I'm gonna put you on the internet. My husband brought his computer to the pool, everyone. You know, but also, you know it's we're all on this journey. We're all learning the more we can actually take it, take your Be It Action Items, and embody them and use them. I think we can. We all get to grow together, and we can affect so many people's lives. Our bubble of influence will be affected in a positive way. So thank you, Inna for being you and for all that you brought to us and all that you educated us on. We're gonna have to talk again, I'm sure, because I barely, I think we barely touched the surface of all that you know, but y'all make sure you connect with Ina. Make sure you share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it, and let us know which Be It Action Item you use and how that helped you. We would love to hear it. We'd love to celebrate with you. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 55:36  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 56:19  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 56:24  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 56:28  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 56:35  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 56:38  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What if your body has been trying to tell you something and you simply weren't taught its language? Lesley Logan sits down with best-selling author Inna Segal, creator of The Secret Language of Your Body, to explore how to listen to your body, decode ancestral patterns, and take responsibility for your own healing. Inna shares the turning-point moment that taught her to stop outsourcing her wellness, plus how to refine your feminine and masculine archetypes without chasing perfection. Tune in to discover why nobody knows you better than you. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:The moment Inna chose to heal herself instead of outsourcing it.How to tell what ancestral trauma is versus your own pain.Why healthy boundaries shift over time and with different people.Exploring feminine and masculine archetypes through your family line.Why refining yourself beats chasing the trap of perfection.Episode References/Links:Book: The Secret Language of Your Body by Inna Segal – https://a.co/d/0fL3MSwgCourse: The Secret Language of Your Body - https://www.innasegal.com/slybu-purchase-audConnecting to Your Intuitive Body (8-week challenge) - https://www.innasegal.com/8-week-challengeAwake the Healer Within - https://ww.innasegal.com/new-masterclass-registrationInna Segal Website - https://www.innasegal.comInna Segal Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/innasegalauthorInna Segal Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/InnaSegalAuthorInna Segal LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/innasegalauthorSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Inna Segal 0:00  I'd always relied on somebody else to do all the healing work, and I never actually did any thing myself, because I didn't think I was qualified to do it. I think that I knew how to do it, except that it was my body, and it's your body, when you're that you're dealing with. So nobody knows as much about you as you know about yourself.Lesley Logan 0:23  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:05  Okay, Be It babe, we've talked we've we've had people talk about boundaries. We've had people talk about listening to your body. We've had people talk about getting to know yourself. And now I have your guest expert who is able to actually explain how to do all these things, explain how to actually listen to your body, explain how you can heal yourself. And really, we had a really great conversation about what it really looks like. And I mean, she was just describing being it till you see it in such a beautiful way, without saying it. And I just, I'm so excited that you're about to listen to this episode, because I just finished doing it, and I am pleased as punch. And I feel like I learned so much and or and even things that I think I knew were more solidified, and I have more confidence in that. And I just, I'm excited for you. So here's Inna Segal. Lesley Logan 1:52  All right, be it, babe, I'm ready to have this conversation. I got to talk with our guest today before the end of last year, and I was so excited about all the knowledge she has in the area that we're going to dive into. Also, she's a best selling author, and I think it's really important to bring that up. She is the author of The Secret Language of Your Body, and, you know, as a Pilates instructor and someone who's really big on mind-body connection, I couldn't agree more with someone having access and information on how we can get to know and talk with our bodies in such a better way, I think the world will be a better place if we all could do that. So Inna Segal, if you can tell everyone who you are and what you rock at.Inna Segal 2:28  Thank you, Lesley. So I teach people how to connect to their body and listen to their body, but I'm going to also add the soul and really work with it to transform their health, to transform their emotions, to essentially transform any area of their life which is stuck a block into something that is much more wise, flowing and deep. And so they get to know themselves in a deeper, more enriched kind of way. So it's not a surface-based experience, it's a deep dive experience.Lesley Logan 3:07  I know and that's the hard one. The surface is, I think, easy and necessary to, you know, wake up and go to bed and do some stuff in between, but getting to know ourselves on a soul level. I mean, that is, it feels like it shouldn't be tricky, but for whatever reason, it feels like it's the hardest thing for people to do.Inna Segal 3:29  I think it's the hardest thing just because we are not taught from an earlier age that we should listen to our inner self, and that's through our sensations, through our emotions, through what's really going on within ourselves, but we're actually taught to ignore everything and adjust ourselves to everybody else in the world, and so because of that, I feel that it became hard thing, instead of natural, and part of everybody's life is to go my body is essentially showing me if I'm in alignment with my life, with my purpose, with my relationships, with every part of my life, with my health, or it's not, you know, and if it's not, what is it that I need to change and adjust so that it can be?Lesley Logan 4:27  Yeah, yeah. I mean, oh my gosh, you said so much there that I couldn't agree more with. I think we're all taught from a very early age, you know, to not listen to our feelings even as babies, you know, babies are crying and people are like, it's okay, you're okay, and it's like, well, they're crying, you know? And I get, I get why. And by the way, we have a lot of moms listen, I get why. I probably too be like, you're fine, stop crying. But also like, you know, at what point are we teaching our, teaching them at such a young age to not listen to how they feel, or for us to not listen to how they feel, or how we feel so, so I find maybe our bodies are their own language, like we, we grow up learning English, but our bodies are speaking Spanish, and we were never taught to listen to that language. But maybe I'm simplifying a little bit. Inna, can you I would just want to know before we get too deep into this. Like, were you born knowing all this? Did your parents teach you this? Did you come from a mother who made sure you knew how to talk to your get to know your soul and your purpose or how did you get here?Inna Segal 5:28  Well, my mom was actually she's very open-minded as a person, but she was very much when I was growing up. She was very much into the medical world, and she thought the word of the doctor was kind of the Word of God, essentially. So I went to a lot of doctors when I was younger. I had digestive issues, I had psoriasis, I had really bad back pain, sciatica, inflammation in my back, a twisted back, and I had anxiety just from constantly being uncomfortable inside my body and being in pain. And essentially, I want to say my turning point came when I ended up seeing this chiropractor that I'd seen for a while, and he came out of his office looked at me and said, Your body's stuck. And I said, yeah, I know that part. What are you going to do to help me? And I've been seeing him for a while, so this was not my first session with him.Lesley Logan 6:28  That's good. He's not like, look like, you're stuck.Inna Segal 6:32  Yeah, you know, we'd known each other for some time, and he so he's basically, he basically said, you know, your your body wants to be stuck at this point go home, and I didn't take very well to that. On the way home, I was pretty angry, but because I actually come from a background of professional writing and journalism and editing, I was and I was studying that at the time, I was thinking exactly like you were saying before, from that linguistic perspective that I'm stuck my body's speaking to me. I don't know what it's saying, because it might as well be speaking. I felt like it was more Chinese or Japanese, because I literally I can't even recognize the letters, but what I was aware of is that I'd been going to see somebody for about it was two years solid, between three and five days a week, And I would have, you know, times, maybe a week to maximum month, where I felt better and I could forget about everything and just do whatever I needed to do in my life. But then I would have this crash, and all the pain would intensify and explode, and I would feel like it would get worse rather than better. And so what occurred to me on this drive home was that I'd always relied on somebody else to do all the healing work, and I never actually did any thing myself, because I didn't think I was qualified to do it. I think that I knew how to do it, except that it was my body, and it's your body to when you're that you're dealing with. So nobody knows as much about you as you know about yourself. And so when I went home, I made a decision, I'm going to heal myself. And I essentially just did the most basic things. I placed my hands on my back. I was breathing into my back because I realized that I was holding my breath. And you know, if you hold your breath, you are stuck. And I know you probably know about this more than most of us, Lesley, from teaching Pilates, and you know, and connecting to your body in that way. And so as I was doing that, and counting backwards from 30, it occurred to me to ask for something higher in terms of help. Because I thought, why not? Why? You know, at this point, I mean, there was conflict in me around, you know, whether I believed in it fully or not. And I say this because most people go, well, you have to believe. I didn't believe in anything. I'm one of the most skeptical people you're going to meet when it comes to things, you know, where I need proof for things.Lesley Logan 9:30  Right, right.Inna Segal 9:31  And so, you know, I have a very scientific, skeptical mind, and I ask, because I just essentially felt like, Why? Why wouldn't I? Why not ask for help? At this point, I had zero expectations, but this warmth just moved through my body, and as my eyes were closed, I saw this golden light, and then I said, for whatever reason, or I thought, I thought, I wonder what my back would look like if I could see it, and without any expectation, within a few moments, I felt like somebody switched the light on and I could see my back. And although I was a bit shocked, I thought to myself, okay, this is kind of my (inaudible) to Japanese. Show me. Show me why I have this. What is the real reason that I have this? And the best way to describe this is as in having a memory meets a vision meets wisdom, right? So it was kind of like there were several, I am very visual. I didn't know that I was until that moment, but I am and visually, I could connect back to memories of things that happened. But not everything was a memory. Some of it was more of an insight, vision, understanding, kind of wisdom, what happened. And so I saw I was born in Eastern Europe, I saw myself coming to Australia and going to school and being bullied, and from there, developing psoriasis all over my skin. I saw the conflicts that my parents had in terms of trying to adjust to a new culture going to high school and not necessarily being bullied for not being able to speak the language, but being bullied for not being one of us, so to say, not being because it was a private school, not being someone who came from a super wealthy family, not belonging to the same club, and all of that affecting me from the perspective of, I don't feel myself, I don't feel supported, I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I don't want to be here and.Lesley Logan 11:57  I get all of that. I get all of that all and I think so many people are probably nodding along, we don't realize how it doesn't have to be so bad that we would be on news show or be a documentary about you, but those little things that make you feel unsafe and or you don't belong, it means that your body becomes this foreign thing you you no one know. Not only do you not know how to read Japanese to talk to your body, but it just you know, if you can't belong in your own body, it's really hard to feel like you belong anywhere. And if you don't feel like you belong anywhere, it's hard to know what belonging in your body is. You don't know what what that feels like.Inna Segal 12:41  Well, exactly, and the last part of this was an understanding of ancestry meets my own, I guess, challenge everything interestingly was coming up around this communication challenge, right? So not being able to speak and be myself, not being able to speak English, not being able to speak the language, and I don't mean, you know, when I, when I got older, the language that people are speaking about. Oh look, this is my label. This is what I bought here, and so on. Lesley Logan 13:18  Oh, yeah. Inna Segal 13:18  So there was an interesting aspect of that. And then there was this ancestral trauma that was connected to my digestive system that took a long, long time to work on. And it was to do with my grandmother losing a lot of people in her family. And then when I was 19, I got pregnant. It was very hard for me to adjust to that idea that I was going to become a mother at that age. Out of all my friends, I would have been, you know, the one they thought would either have kids the latest, or maybe not even have them. So the fact that I was the first, and everyone went, oh my god, wow, okay, was pretty intense. And then, when, then I just had this sense that something was off, probably about a month or three weeks before the baby was born and when, but I was told by the midwives that I was crazy, that nothing was happening. And this is, again, how medical professionals often kind of push aside anything intuitive that shows up, and essentially, the baby died pretty much 38 weeks.Lesley Logan 14:31  Oh, I'm so sorry.Inna Segal 14:34  Yeah. So it was so I was in trauma. I didn't want to leave. I was, you know, I just want people to understand I was at rock bottom, even wanting to be here, and I was 20. In my mind, whilst I don't, I can't say 100% I was told that the baby would have died two or three days before, which was actually my birthday, where I turned 20. So it was, you know, so I kind of connected it to my. Birthday and all of this stuff and that I didn't want to be here, and what's the point of everything in life, and this, this whole experience of connecting to my body, was pretty profound. So I really saw how my grandmother and her loss, she lost her mother, and she she was part of a family of eight, and everybody died, except her and her father, who survived for a few years after the war, and she never really grieved it or worked through it in any way or form, because people didn't at that time, and everybody had digestive issues in my family, and so I could see how the explosion occurred. Especially, I had issues before, but after I had the baby, it was just, you know, I, my digestive system just wasn't working well, and during that experience, I cried a lot. I understood a lot of things. I also realized that I was a sponger. I was one of those people that just took on everybody's pain in general, as well as it all. And after all of these insights, I fell asleep, and then the next day, when I wake up, about 70% of the pain was gone from my back, and I felt different. There was something different inside of me where I went, oh my god, my body's working with me. I can help I can work with it. It's because I made this step towards it that it's coming towards me, even though I'm still super skeptical that, you know, this is not just something that's not going to return. And so, you know, over the next few weeks, I just journaled a lot, I asked a lot of questions, I connected, and by the end of it, all the psoriasis was gone. So that was the first thing that went that was and again, lots of people, my family, have it and have had it their whole lives. So it wasn't, and I'd had it for by that stage, for 10 years. So it wasn't like, oh, you know, I had this.Lesley Logan 17:10  Mis-diagnosis of some kind. Inna Segal 17:11  Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then, you know, I noticed, yeah, my back pain disappeared. My anxiety went down. Digestive Issues took years and years to work on. Lesley Logan 17:26  They do. But also with that generational and ancestral trauma, it just takes a while, because the gut just takes a while to, like, rebuild and do all that stuff and figure out what you need. Sorry, I cut you off. But yes, I actually it feels better that it didn't happen overnight, because that would feel weird.Inna Segal 17:47  Well, yeah, exactly. And that's what people need to understand, is that, especially when it comes connects, like, well, what's the gut about? It's about digesting life as well as food, right? It's assimilating, every day we have experiences, this is our emotional center, one of them, and we always talk about our what's your gut saying? Right? So we already know we have it in our language. So we have our intuition, we have our emotions here. We have knowingness here. But it's also all about how we, our relationships. It's an area that processes what happened during the day, your relationships, your experiences how something happened in your life, and what you believe you're capable of doing. It's kind of where your sense of self lives, and many of us need to clarify what that even means and rebuild it, because a sense of self has been beaten down over the years through all sorts of things in our you know, family and even at work, relationships for sure, and so this is something that is daily, right? It's a daily experience where you go, you know, how did I, how did I go today? Did I push down and push away and just keep going, or did I face things?Lesley Logan 19:20  Yeah, I think that's a great, first of all, I love that you ask yourself questions. And I think that that's where a lot of people, well, I think a lot of people get stuck on what am I asking? But also do I ask myself how am I doing? Yes, that's a great place to start. But I do think a lot of people, you know, it's, it's okay if you're one day, like, I can't do it today. I just have to go through. Okay, one day. But where I think happens is that people keep going the next day into the next day. We procrat, we keep putting off the prioritization of ourself. And that's where it builds up on top of the ancestral stuff. So it's we have our own stuff, and then there's the stuff. So I guess I have, I don't want to forget to talk about boundaries, because I know you've clearly had to figure out how to do that since you are so, since you were a sponge before, and obviously we're probably not now, since you figured this out. But for the people who I've heard of, ancestral stuff, like it comes through, how do people know what's theirs and what's ancestral, and then how do you cut the ties of that? Because is it visually cutting the ties? Is it telling your family that's your stuff? How do you do that?Inna Segal 20:31  Well, it's, I don't know about visually cutting it. I'm not gonna be a fan of cutting things in general. I think I'm more into clearing or being very clear in things that I feel in terms of, again, boundaries, it often takes a long time for you to gain your confidence first, to become aware of what is a healthy boundary, right? So you have to even come to that place of, what does it mean and who with, right? Because it's completely different with different people. So I can be incredibly good with having healthy boundaries, let's say with my students or with my clients, but not necessarily with family. And I'm saying it as an example, right? It's easier with people who are not close with you. The hardest thing is with those who are because you don't want to hurt them and you don't want to be harsh. And so from my perspective, I've done all sorts of things with boundaries. I've spent, you know, countless hours at different times in my life writing them down again. I write to get clarity, and I actually encourage everyone to do that in terms of boundaries, because what does it mean to you? You know, is it self respect? Is it self love? Is it space that you need? What boundary are you actually looking at? Is it actually you know, I know so many people that are single and don't have healthy boundaries with people that they have dated or been in relationships before with, or they keep going and then they wonder why they can't find the part, you know, the partner that they want, and all sorts of things. So there's many, many different boundaries that you need to look at. I think the hardest are definitely when it comes to your parents, children and partner. You know, I really think it's also how you present it and then sticking to it. So for instance, with my children, it's also changed over time. So there were times when they were younger, where it was like, well, you have to knock on the door. That's my boundary. Can't just barge in. So if you barge in, you go back, you know, and you knock on the door, that's a boundary, right? And they had to write down their boundaries as well when they were younger, when they were kind of teenagers, and so on. And then it became, well, you know, with my son, for instance, he would go into this place of overwhelm, and then he would bombard me with negative messages in the middle of the night. And so even if I turned my phone off, which was part of my you know.Lesley Logan 23:15  Yeah, you wake up to a crappy day.Inna Segal 23:19  Exactly. And so I said I had to clarify this to him over and over and over again. You can't do this. If you do this, I'm going to, I'm actually not going to speak to you for a while. I mean, unless you're asking me for help, don't, don't send me this, unless you're willing to do what I'm what I'm going to say, so we had a lot of kind of like, here's a boundary. Here's a boundary. Here's a boundary. With my mom, she used to call me, and the first thing that she would say would be some kind of complaint, and I'd be like, as she called, I wouldn't pick up the phone half the time. And she would go, you know, you don't pick up the phone. And I was like, well, let's think about why I don't pick up the phone. You know, what do you usually say when you call me? You know, do you say something positive? Is it something encouraging, or do you kind of attack and say all these things to me? And so again, we had to have a break for several months from talking to each other, because I was like, you can't do that. And then we had a break another time, because she learned her lesson where, you know, and I would say, I will hang up if you start being negative and telling me all this stuff, I'm not your therapist. I'm your daughter. So, you know, we need to change our game and the roles that we're playing, because this, I cannot grow the way that you're you're doing this. And also, I don't want to be in, you know, like you are with my children. So I need a completely different overhaul of mothering, you know, so that I can be the mother that I think they need. There's so many different ways, and I think luckily for me, everybody in the family eventually, because they kind of got the message in terms of what the boundaries are. But it takes time, and it takes a lot of effort.Lesley Logan 25:24  Well, I appreciate you, one, giving all those examples, because I have asked other people this question, and I don't get nearly the detail. I get be patient, but also be clear. And it's right? I thank you for the you know, the same thing I could read on a blog. What I appreciate is like, you explain how your how the boundaries, healthy boundaries evolve over time, based on the person and based on your needs. And also that it is, it is hard. You have to keep enforcing that boundary until you know it's an actual boundary that they see and you can and it can be appreciated. And also that means that they could have boundaries too. And I think that's where a lot of people who struggle when people put boundaries up, is that they don't realize that they too can also have a boundary they too can go reflect on. So I think what a great example you are. So thank you for diving into that. So I do, I do want, before I forget. I do want to go into that ancestral stuff. Because, first of all, I can only imagine what your grandmother went through. But I do, I do know that, most of us, no matter where you live in the world, if you're over 40, you have grandparents or great grandparents who were in these were World Wars. So there was, there was a lot of loss. And you know, I know my father was in a war that was not appreciated and liked, and in hindsight, was a terrible thing, and so not treated the same as people who were in one of the world wars when they came back home. And so I think all these things depend. So how do you how did you discover what was ancestral with your grandmother versus, oh, this stuff, this over here is my stuff. How did you kind of figure that out?Inna Segal 27:04  Well, I started looking at everybody in the family, actually, and I started asking questions, which were, was I born with this? I mean, in other words, did I bring this with me into this life? Is it does it feel like completely mine, or does it feel like I've brought it? I'm picking it up, I'm carrying this, and if I am, then am I doing it unconsciously in the same exact way that my grandmother, or great grandmother, whoever else did, or my mom? Or am I doing this differently? So I was closely looking at it, and one of the biggest things that we do take on, and that I was watching myself, you know, absorb, let's just say, was constant worry, right? Constant worry, because that was something my grandmother did. My grandfather did it. They had digestive issues, they had surgeries, they had cancers. My mom had it, and I was like, what are they doing that I don't want to get the same health issue? Let's break that down. So to actually, because the biggest thing in my family is intestinal cancers, I was like, okay, let's look that up. Well, in my book that I write, let's look at that right, and let's go, what causes this? And if I don't want to get this, I need to act in a very, very different way, meaning internally, not just on the external which means I need to go rather than just sitting in that state of tension and worry, it's like, what can I do to transform that worry? You know, what can I what do I need to work on in terms of that? So, how do I change that when this shows up? What am I worrying about? And actually, my daughter asked me the other day. She goes, Mom, what do you do when, you know, when things happen to her, mainly to my son. And you know that's different, because she was asking me about this ancestral stuff, and I said to her, well, actually, I start to think I know so many processes, right? I teach them, I write about them. So I immediately get my journal out. I write down what's going on for me, and then I look at what are the processes that are available to me that can help me and him? And it could be as simple as I am focused on buying into whatever he's telling me, which is negative and he obviously wants me to feel as bad as I possibly can feel because that's his pattern that he's learned from, you know, his dad and other people in the family. So what if I don't buy that, and I actually keep seeing him being healthier and being stronger and being, you know, different and so at different times. I mean, not different who he is, but being aware of where he's at. And you know what I found is that it's not immediately that the change happens when you hold something different for, let's say, your your child, but eventually they have. It's like they have something different to adjust to than that ancestral line that you've worked on yourself, and that's how you change things for your family.Lesley Logan 30:50  Inna, that is freaking amazing. It's like, I'm obsessed with this, because it's instead of me turning on the emotion that they're trying to get me to have, I'm visualizing the person that I wish they could be in that moment. I can stay good, and their stuff stays their stuff, and it's not going to solve it in today's conversation or tomorrow's conversation or whatever. But I'm not taking it on either, because it's not mine. I love this so much. Oh my god. I mean, I could keep talking about this with you, but I do want to pick your brain about something that we talked about that made me so excited. You have a whole thing you talk about archetypes and with masculine and feminine. I just kind of wanted to get into that, because I think it's really easy for, you know, with Instagram, to say, like, oh, you got to be in your feminine. And it's like, well, yeah, and I run my own business, so, you know, sometimes I have to talk about taxes, sometimes just got to do it. So I kind of wanted to hear your take, because I'm I also am someone who's, like had gut issues, and I've had a lot of people who listen, who have that, and I'm like, how do I stay not taking it all in, but also, being in this world, this world is a lot going on.Inna Segal 32:02  Yeah, absolutely, when we're looking at archetypes, essentially, what we're looking at is emotion meets your belief systems and a perspective, a particular way of seeing life, meets your life story. So what's actually occurred to you specifically, and also it connects to your ancestry, what you've picked up and you're playing out that you're not necessarily aware of. So let's say we are looking at feminine and masculine as archetypes. So if I'm looking in the feminine archetype, and I feel hardly anyone talks about this, I need to, actually, to understand my own feminine I need to understand my feminine line. I need to understand, well, what was the feminine in terms of my grandmother, let's say, how did she express that? And is that in alignment with what I feel feminine is at this point, so was she warm, kind, loving, expressive, or was she cold, disconnected in herself? What was the example of feminine from, let's say, my grandmother or my auntie or my mom, ideally, all of these people, because that became my idea of what feminine is. Now around the age of 14 to let's say 16, we are as we're growing in that teenage age, which is also an archetype where we're looking at our family, female and females and males, and we're going, who would I like to be like? Who is showing me something that is more appealing to me than the other person? So for a lot of us, especially of my generation, like you said, people in their 40s. You, you, you kind of had that more of a choice than the generations before that, where you looked at your mom and you looked at your dad and you went, I think I want to be more masculine because it looks more fun and I can and I want to, you know, for me, it was like, I want to be like, Madonna, look, if she can do it, I can do it. Lesley Logan 34:32  I wasn't allowed to have her on my wall, but I am so I feel like I missed out on an amazing chapter of life, if I could have had her as my mentor.Inna Segal 34:41  So, you know, and she was quite masculine, and since she went, I'm going to do whatever men do. I'm going to conquer the world, blah, blah, blah. So to me, it was that, and subconsciously, again, no one does this consciously. Subconsciously, I went, well, my mom, so. what feminine means for her. in terms of what I've seen, is cooking, cleaning, doing what you don't want to do, being subordinate to your partner. I'm not doing that. So I was like, I'd rather be masculine than feminine in that sense, again, not consciously, because my dad has freedom. He does whatever he wants to do. My mom does whatever my dad wants her to do, whatever she feels, she's constantly adjusting herself. And so I kind of went like this, you know, bull into the real, into my earlier relationships, going, oh no, it's my way, like I because I cannot be like what I've seen my mom be, which obviously then create a lot of conflict, and made me go, okay, so when I'm looking when somebody says, be feminine, and I'm looking at this, and it's still work, a work in progress, right? And I'm going, so what does it look like today to show up being feminine in terms of this person and that and I thought about it in so many different ways, and one of the easiest ways I've thought about it is through color. So it was like, okay, let's say I'm wearing pink today, so I'm going, pink is a soft color, quite feminine in that sense of expansion. It's it's a love color, but it's gentle. It's not that red passion, you know, and intensity. It's softer than green. Even the green is connected to the heart and healing the heart. So, I, you know, I might go, okay, so what does it look like to be pink and connect to my son, for instance, through that, you know, more of the gentleness let me, let me get to know myself in that feminine through that color. How do I breathe? How do I feel? How do I walk? How does my voice sound? Can I adjust my voice based on this color? Right? Because people get affected. And so it started to look at that. And I also think that when you're looking at again feminine or masculine, it's about role models. It was like, what what do I already have, and what am I missing? And so one of the things, because I grew up in, you know, both when I was very young, in Eastern Europe and then in Australia, most of the time now, in both of these places, gracefulness is not one of the things that you see in terms of women. But in France, you see that all the time. And so at one point, I was like, what am I missing? Oh, I'm missing this sense of grace that I find really attractive in terms of seeing in other women. And so where do I find this? And I was like, I need to, I need to look at old movies. I need to look at French women, not all of them, but. Lesley Logan 38:06  Yeah, no, Inna, this is so be it till you see it. This is the blueprint for how to be it till you see it. And I agree, oh my god, the French women, they know how to just like they exude luxury and grace.Inna Segal 38:20  Exactly. And just watching it and going, oh, okay, let me, let me embrace this. Let me practice this. Right? Because people think, oh, I am who I am, and I'm, I don't agree with that. It's like, you are a refinement, you know? And this is why I don't agree with this whole idea in the New Age movement of I'm already perfect. It's like, what? Why? What are you doing here? If you're already perfect, what's the point of this? Perfection, as my partner says this (inaudible) perfection is the enemy of creation. It's like, you're not perfect. You would not be here. This is not a holiday. You're here to evolve and grow. And, refine. You know, let's not even use the word perfect. Let's use the word refine. And, you know, grow in that sense. And it's the same with the masculine. What I find, for instance, is that people who find it very hard to be successful in the outside world have a very weakened masculine without any doubt, it's almost like that spine of the masculine is weakened inside of them, usually from childhood, usually from, you know, all sorts of belief systems and early failures and lack of direction and lack of support often from their family in terms of, rather than pushing somebody into direction, actually discovering the direction that and supporting them in the direction that is right for them. And so what ends up happening is that these people start having these very, very strong belief systems. But it shows up in their spine like literally shows up energetically in their spine, because lower back, for instance, is all about finances. And you know, how good are you at looking after and supporting your family? And I grew up with people who constantly thought about finances, so it was not a surprise when I figured it out I had back pain, and love back pain. So it's almost like, as you become aware of it, you actually have choice to do something about it. So with the masculine you can, you know, you can go, oh, I need to work on strengthening that archetype, that part of myself, but also my spine, and my ability to handle rejection, my ability to handle objections, my ability to to guide if it is my own business, let's just say my ability to make decisions, concentration, logic, so all of those are beautiful masculine qualities. But I need to, let's say, whether you're in a masculine or feminine body, feminine is creative. It's light, it's a bit chaotic, but it's, you know, it's flowing at the same time, it's colorful, it, you know that there is that divinity and spirituality magic that it has there, whereas the masculine is more about making it happen, taking something that's creative and amazing and putting it into practice.Lesley Logan 41:35  Well, and you can, I would love to hear, I want to make your own opinion for you, but it just sounds like we need both. We have to we all need both. And it sounds like understanding where we got our our vision of what those two things are and how we are using them in our body is going to either help us or it's or it might be what's harming us. And so the more we can take our time to discover who is. Where did I discover my feminine and where am I, where would I like it to be? And where did the masculine happen? And where would, where would I prefer it to be? And then working towards that. And I love that we are not perfect. There's no perfect. Just keep on evolving and refining and getting better and so but the Instagram world is like, oh, I have three friends who are like, I'm just gonna, live in my divine feminine I'm like, oh, okay. I mean, I think that's gonna be hard.Inna Segal 42:32  Well, actually, interestingly, quite a few years ago, when I was separating from my ex husband, I ended up meeting this friend of mine, and she was doing this whole divine feminine thing at the time. And I remember I would call her and I would say, we caught up three times a week at the time, which was amazing. And I'd call her and I'd go, oh, what have you been doing, you know, this week, besides the times we've, you know, caught up, and she'd go, I'm connecting to my feminine I'm just literally lying next to the pool, journaling, you know, getting the sun, having a swim, and that's all I'm doing, because I'm slowing down internally and and she would speak in this beautiful, kind of very slow way. And I remember thinking, it's like she's the complete opposite to me. I don't even know what that looks like, or what that means to just, you know, go, and this was happening over many months, where she just, you know, it was covered. She wasn't working, and she was, you know, she'd pick up her son and do some things in the evening from school, but most of the day was about this and and really embodying it. And I was well, firstly, I think it's amazing that she's doing it, but most of us do not have that luxury of just or a (inaudible). Lesley Logan 43:53  Right, we do have to kind of go do something today.Inna Segal 44:01  Exactly. And, you know, in the same way that it was beautiful, it was also really challenging for her, because then she was kind of like, well, I want to start a business, but there was all sorts of blocks that were coming up for her to start a n business, because she really got into that state of, well, feminine means there's no time limit. You just do what you want. You just kind of, right? And eventually it's she had to step into her masculine and start to balance it out, because you cannot just be in one, you know, constantly.Lesley Logan 44:41  Yeah, one or the other. Yeah, it goes the same with like, oh my gosh, I we don't have time to get into it. But on the ground, these people are, these dudes, this is what it means to be masculine. I'm like, is it though? Maybe you should find your feminine. Maybe you should. But I appreciate that you sharing that story and also, yeah, we it's kind of taking the time to understand both archetypes for ourselves and what that refinement looks like, and then working on what the transition is between the two and when, when you're applying both. You know, I feel like I could talk to you forever, because, it's so beautiful what you do, and you're so knowledgeable, and there's a lot of kindness and how you approach these things, it's also so patient. So, you know, I appreciate that, because, you know, our listeners are like, okay, but tell me. And I think they need to hear it does take time, so we are going to take a brief break and find out where people can find you, follow you, work with you, and your Be It Action Items. Lesley Logan 45:31  All right, Inna, where do you hang out? Where can they buy your book? Where they take courses? Where should they go to learn more about you?Inna Segal 45:39  So the best place to go to is my website, which is innasegal.com I-N-N-A-S-E-G-A-L dot com, and what I really invite people to do is to take a step forward. And in the last few years, what I wanted to do is to take away people's excuses. So I used to do these master classes, slash mini workshops. I used to charge quite a bit of money for it. And then I said to my partner, you know what? I just feel like I want to spread the seeds, so to speak, and I want to give people an opportunity for, you know, some time. And this can change at any point that we've decided to change it, but for some time, an opportunity to access these, you know, mini workshops for free, because I want to take away excuses, because most people have excuses, non stop excuses, of why they don't do something. And the only excuse I cannot take away is you actually making a time for yourself and going and doing it, right? Actually doing the course, the mini workshop, the masterclass, and giving yourself the opportunity to tune in and there's, there's several master classes, so there's option. It's not, I never believe in one fits all kind of mentality. Some, some people very new to my work, my book, The Secret Language of Your Body, and they just want to go, how do I work with the book in the best way possible, right? How do I work with my body in the best way possible? So we have options for that, where people can, you know, can can do a course based on my book, The Secret Language of Your Body, or they might, you know, we also did something called the eight-week challenge where, you know, connecting to your intuitive body, where I go through all the systems of the body through the eight weeks, as well as archetypes and tuning into your body. And this is a way for people to really get to know and understand all the different aspects of their body that shows up and really befriend it. But then I teach, I teach my kind of 10-day workshop of Awake the Healer Within which is what I'm most excited about, because it's what you know, what is the foundation of healing? What does it actually mean to heal on the deepest level? And we talk about and work with a lot of archetypes, from feminine and masculine to the victim to the, you know, inner child, to really understanding your saboteur and how you sabotage your life, how you procrastinate and so, as well as the archetypes connected to your intuition and your capacity to move forward. So, and there's a lot of kind of tools around working with the body and healing and different conditions and energy and so on in that particular offering, which is a master class as well, but it goes for four hours. You need more time, and we go into all sorts of processes. I always, I don't just talk in these master classes. I actually give people a lot of wisdom and processes. And then I have one on your purpose and the sole purpose, and what it even means and looks like, and one on understanding ancestry and understanding your kind of your stages of development. So there's a lot.Lesley Logan 49:17  Inna, oh my gosh, if you try it right now you can, you can access it for free. So you should go do that. Why would you wait? And if you have to pay, I think it's probably worth it. So, I mean, I learned so much already. You have given us so much, and I agree with that. Like, take a step forward so that could be your Be It Action Item. But if you have any other bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it, we'd love to hear them.Inna Segal 49:43  I feel like step one is making a decision that you're you're somehow responsible for your own healing, not for what happened to you, not for all the trauma that occurred to you and other people's involvement. But what can you do about it and without it, nobody actually really heals in a real way. Other people can do all sorts of things for you, but it won't fully hold, because unless you take that step forward, you're not, you know, you're not really understanding what it's about. And so step one is being interested, being willing to understand, taking that responsibility and then searching for it, taking step a step forward, and then I'm going to say is helping yourself from the perspective of, how does this become part of my life? Right? So, how do I make it part of my life? In other words, what do I do when I wake up in the morning most of the time, right? Because we can't do something all the time. Things change. But most of the time, what is your first thought when you wake up in the morning? Are you focused on meditation, divine connection? Are you focused on what you could do during the day? Are you focused on the positive? Are you focused on stress and worry. You know, what, what happens to you? Then you know what happens to you when you're eating, for instance, are you conscious? And I think that's a huge one for most people, including myself, because we're just running and doing this and this and that in the you know, can you start to create time? And I had this conversation yesterday, actually, with my partner. I went to meet his family. He's from the UK, so we went to England last year, and I was watching his family, and I was like, oh my god, I can't breathe because they just ran. There was no stopping, there was no kind of breathing, there was no self-reflection. There was just doing, doing next thing, next, next, next. And he said to me yesterday, he said, I've just realized that, you know, I do my work. We work together. I think like you do with your husband. And he's like, I finished something, and I go, what's next, what's next, what's what's next. And I never give myself time to really connect and tune in. And he and I said to him, yeah, because this is that's all you've seen when you were growing up, I was exhausted watching your family, and I remember at one point I did a process, and I did in the wrong place, in the wrong room, where everybody could see me, where they started coming into the house. I didn't realize how long it would take. And they were like, what are you doing, wasting your time, as opposed to, actually, I'm doing something really important. Why are you not helping us? I was like, oh, because I'm being I need to, you know, I'm doing something for myself because it was, it's non-existent, and he went, it's almost like I feel guilty, or I feel, you know, that I'm wasting my time. That's why, when you keep saying, do processes, but I have so much more to do, but it's practical. And what you're saying to do is impractical. It's you know, internal stuff, but not, I don't see the practical application of it. And, you know, he's like, can I feel guilty, and he's like, I need to change this, right?Lesley Logan 53:18  Yeah.Inna Segal 53:20  And this is many, many people, especially men, where they kind of go up, I just need to fix stuff, I just need to do stuff, as opposed to, unless you're good inside, and you even give yourself an opportunity, like you said, Lesley, to ask questions, to go within, to discover who are you? What do you stand for? What do you do? What are you about? You know, all of this takes time to self-reflect and self-connect. How can you have boundaries? How can you have good relationships with someone if you never think about it right, because that shows up in your body. So how do you allow yourself to access feelings if you're being taught to push them down? Well, it takes time. It takes time for you to explore, but you have to make that choice to explore.Lesley Logan 54:18  I love this so much, and also, isn't it so funny when we see our partner or our friends, where they come from, and then you're like, oh, that's why you don't sit still. No one is sitting still. And my husband will listen to this when we'll do a recap, but like, hey, babe, do you did you see yourself in that description of her partner? Because, we're going on vacation. And he put he brought the computer to the pool. We brought the computer to the pool. And I was like, I'm gonna shame you. I'm gonna put you on the internet. My husband brought his computer to the pool, everyone. You know, but also, you know it's we're all on this journey. We're all learning the more we can actually take it, take your Be It Action Items, and embody them and use them. I think we can. We all get to grow together, and we can affect so many people's lives. Our bubble of influence will be affected in a positive way. So thank you, Inna for being you and for all that you brought to us and all that you educated us on. We're gonna have to talk again, I'm sure, because I barely, I think we barely touched the surface of all that you know, but y'all make sure you connect with Ina. Make sure you share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it, and let us know which Be It Action Item you use and how that helped you. We would love to hear it. We'd love to celebrate with you. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 55:36  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 56:19  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 56:24  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 56:28  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 56:35  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 56:38  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this Fuck Yeah Friday episode, Lesley Logan shares why neuroscience confirms confidence is built by acting before you feel ready, not after. She celebrates a community win from a Pilates instructor prioritizing self-care post-surgery and reflects on the years-long ripple effect of her eLevate teacher training program now halfway through Round Six. The episode closes with a grounding mantra for letting go of what's keeping you stuck. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:A featured neuroscience post on why confidence is built through action.A community win on choosing self-care while recovering from surgery.How eLevate grew from a one-time idea into Round Seven.This week's mantra for releasing what holds you back.Episode References/Links:@letstrainthebrain https://www.instagram.com/letstrainthebrain@pilatescoreuk – https://www.instagram.com/pilatescoreukJay Grmes - https://pilatesology.com/instructor/jay-grimesSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  It's Fuck Yeah Friday. Brad Crowell 0:01  Fuck yeah. Lesley Logan 0:02  Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 0:48  Hello, Be It babe. How are you? My gosh, this is a great weekend. Most of you, if you're in the States, you're leading into holiday weekend, a big holiday weekend. I am leaning into a girls trip, which I can't wait to tell you more about next week. And I'm gonna share a win of yours, a win of mine, and some inspirational stuff. I'm gonna get you on your weekend, because that's what FYFs are about. They're about you sending your wins in so we can celebrate you, celebrate the things that you're doing. This podcast is here to make sure that you get to have all the worthiness and success and love and things that you want in this world and celebrate you along the way. So send your wins in. Send them in, small, big, they can be one sentence, they can be a paragraph. I'll read them all. Lesley Logan 1:24  Before I get into your wins. This says, neuroscience shows confidence is built by repeatedly taking action before you feel ready. So most people have this backwards. They wait to feel confident before they act. Outcome, hesitation, avoidance, overthinking and delaying and because they don't act, their brain never gets new evidence. That means your brain builds confidence in different areas of life, emotional, social and professional through action and evidence. Listen to the podcast intro, action is the antidote to fear, and it brings clarity. More action you take, the more evidence your brain has for you to feel confident to take more actions. So no action, no evidence, no update, no confidence. This negative feedback loop weakens confidence over time. So even if you think I'll never know anything new, then you're slowly going to be less confident, right? Confidence grows or weakens based on the predictions your brain makes about you. Your brain is constantly asking, can I handle this? Those predictions only change from action, not from thinking of taking action. When you act, even while uncertain or afraid, your brain gets new data. I did it. I can tolerate discomfort. I handled it. That new data creates prediction errors in the brain, increasing neuroplasticity. New input action is more manageable than my fear anticipated. Taking consistent action reduces that thread response over time, increases tolerance for uncertainty and strengthens self-efficacy. I can handle this. This is when confidence grows. You don't become confident, and then act. You act. Your brain updates. Confidence grows. Act before you feel ready. That's how confidence is built. So Be It babe. This is literally, a post about being it until you see it. Do you, do you see that? So the link is in the show notes. It's from @letstrainthebrain. So grateful for that. I saw this and I was like, that is the be it, that's the be it that it is. I love it so much. Lesley Logan 3:16  Okay, so now your win. This one is from @pilatescoreuk, going for lunch with friends for the first time out since post op. So if you haven't followed @pilatescoreuk, you should. Kimberly is amazing. I love her so much. She had an unexpected surgery recently, and she's been sharing and showing how she is still getting movement and steps in and and taking care of herself and prioritizing self, even while in pain, even while injured. She has kids, you guys, her life isn't this all fluffy and ponytails, like she is doing it, and she does it in a way to help you see you can, too, take care of yourself in these cases. And so thank you for taking the time to share a win with us so I can highlight you and how you're inspiring me and other people every single day with all that you're going through. So thank you so much.Lesley Logan 4:05  Okay, so my win is, here's my win. You've heard us talk about this and the things that are coming up, but I just have to take a second. eLevate, which is in round six, it's halfway through, where we did the eLevate round six weekend the previous month, their assessments for are coming up. They're going to have their fourth out of five weekends next month. And this is the part where it's like, oh my god. I just like, I'm so proud of the work that they're putting in, but more importantly, I'm really proud of how I continue to challenge myself and understanding how people learn, so I can continue to make each round understand the work that Jay taught me better, and then I get to share that with past rounds as they support the new people and as they come on retreats. But all in all, I can't believe in 2022 when I started this program, I was like, I think I'll just do it one time, we'll see and so my win is kind of big, because it's so many years in the making. So proud I did something scary. I'm so glad I'd be it till I saw it so I got confidence over it, and I'm so proud of how confident I am in the product that we're doing, because it really does change people's lives. And just watching these students at eLevate continue to share their wins, of how they're applying what they're learning and changing how they're teaching and impacting lives around them. Like, it's a win that keeps on going. And I also it's something that I have to celebrate as well, because they love it so much, because past grads have loved it so much, next year is almost full, and that is because of the dedication that my team and I put into this program and so doing something scary that we're like, should we be ones that do this? Shouldn't there be other people to do it? So that inspirational post is really an example of it's literally the thesis behind what I've been doing. And yes, I can say confidence does come from doing the thing before you feel ready. So thanks to all my eLevate grads from one through five. Thank you for six, for trusting me. You guys are working so hard, and people who are set up for round seven, we are going to have a lot of fun. We are. Lesley Logan 6:08  All right. Let me get you a mantra. I let go of everything that holds me back from being my best self. I let go of everything that holds me back from being my best self. You'll let go of everything that's holding you back from being your best self. Yes you will, Be It babe. All right, until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 6:22  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 7:04  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 7:10  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 7:14  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 7:21  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 7:25  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In Part 2 of the Listen to Yourself series, Lesley Logan delivers a hands-on toolkit for hearing your intuition more clearly and telling it apart from fear. She breaks down what real intuition actually feels like in the body, why so many high achievers struggle to access it, and how to build trust in your inner voice through small, repeatable habits. The episode closes with journal prompts, simple daily practices, and one intuition-led decision that completely changed where Lesley lives today. Tune in for the practical follow-up listeners have been asking for. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:How to calm a busy mind using meditation, breathwork, or guided practice.Why true intuition feels calm and steady, not frantic or fearful.Journaling prompts that uncover patterns and reveal your gut's voice.The body sway test and other small practices that strengthen instinct.How to overcome doubt by slowing down and recalling past hunches.Episode References/Links:Breath by James Nestor – https://www.mrjamesnestor.com/breathThe Artist's Way by Julia Cameron – https://a.co/d/0ip3UjJBE-Squared by Pam Grout – https://a.co/d/07pIwZuhEp. 559 with David Corbin – https://beitpod.com/ep559Ep. 388 with Lauren Zoeller – https://beitpod.com/ep388Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  The fear. Voice is so loud because we spent so much time listening to it, we have had way more experience listening to the fear instead of listening to our intuition, and that may be because just of the life that you've had prior to this. Lesley Logan 0:17  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:00  Hello, Be It babe. Hi. Welcome back to our Listen to Yourself series. I'm so happy you're here. Okay, so if you missed Tuesday's episode, you're gonna probably want to hear that one, because it does talk about what is our intuition. What is listening to ourselves? And then also, why is it so freaking hard? And by the way, after listening to all the different reasons it's hard, it's an I'm actually shocked any single one of us can listen to our intuition at all. So I also shared some stories about different times I listened to mine and didn't listen to mine. And I just want to say thank you to all of you who shared your takeaways from that episode. It really means so much to me. You know, it's I record these alone in a room and talking to myself. So I really appreciate when you all share how the episodes affected you, or takeaways and wins and things like that. So questions you have that answer those on Thursday episodes, wins and aha moments, I'll share on Friday episodes, but today we're talking about the tools to help you listen to yourself better. Listen to your intuition better. So sources for this information will be in the show notes. But I have to say, this is kind of fun. There's lots of different things. So here's the deal my, Be It babe. I know that it's easy to try to do all the things at once, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna ask you to pick a couple of these things that sound good and the ones that don't immediately sound easy for you, just ditch them. Save them for later. Give them to a friend, right? Please. My overachievers who are listening, who are in recovery, don't try to do them all. Lesley Logan 2:20  Okay? So some of these might sound redundant as we go through, but know that sometimes we hear same thing in slightly different way. It kind of makes a little more sense to us. So here we go. How do we hear our intuition better? Calm the mind? Use meditation or breathing techniques to quiet the noise. So I will say I love doing breath work, or I like a guided meditation. I know that sounds opposite of listening to yourself, but if you just have music playing for me and I have to just sit still, I'm gonna tell you right now my mind ain't quiet. I kind of need someone that's like, look at this cloud. Watch this thing, right? That's kind of my MO. So if you're like that, find guided meditations or breath work. If you haven't read the book, Breath, that is one of my favorite books of all time to recommend. So I highly recommend it. Okay, tune into the body. So pay attention to physical sensations such as a sense of lightness aligned like an alignment, or a sense of thinking or tightening feeling like not aligned. So lightness is going to fill a line, tightening is not going to fill a line. And that means you're going to have to start body scanning, right? So you might do this one time a day. Maybe you do it in the morning, or you do it at night, to start to just notice where you already feel tight or where you don't feel tight, and so you can know yourself. Because, sometimes it's like a doctor might ask, Oh, how long have you feeling like that? You're, oh, I actually don't know. So it is if you're going to tune into the body, which I highly recommend you do, finding ways to make that a habit. I use this. I use OPC to help our members with this. I use Pilates for myself. So when you do the 100 is going to feel different each and every time you do it, depending on what time of day you do it, depending on what happened the day before, how you slept, all that information, and that is a way to tune into your body. So for me, body scanning I only do when I'm trying to fall asleep, to be completely honest, or if I'm in a breath work that's guided, they're like, pay attention. I've truly used my Pilates to go because I do the same exercises. And I'm oh, I could get more out of that, right? That is a great way to feel what feels light and what doesn't feel light so that I can kind so that when I feel lightness, I know I'm in alignment when I feel tightness and making a decision, I feel like I'm not. So that can be helpful, but that takes time, so just be nice to yourself about learning how to feel alignment and business alignment in your body. Lesley Logan 4:34  Pause and reflect instead of reacting immediately to emotions. Pause to see if the feeling is a panic response or calm, enduring insight. So this is interesting, right? As an ADHD person whose brain goes 17 miles ahead of most people, I am like, let's take instant action, and then, of course, I'll regret how quickly I made a decision, not that the decision is a regret, but how I handled it. Right? So something I am trying to work on is just like, take a moment. Why am I upset? What am I wanting to have happen? What might be all the different ways I could have that happen? And then in taking that pause, it really lets me feel what my inner knowing is actually trying to tell me, which is, you're actually not upset about this thing, you're upset about this thing, and it's coming out here. I think that that takes that also just takes time. So I also wanted to find out, does intuition sound like something? Because if we're going to hear it, what does it sound like? Right? So intuition often feels like a calm, quiet and immediate inner knowing or gut feeling that provides certainty without logical explanation, which is different than anxious thoughts, which are frantic and fearful. True intuition is neutral, steady and frequently experiences a physical sensation, such as a quiet, grounded insight, a sinking feeling, or a sudden, clear, non emotional, not joy. I think it might not have an actual sound to it, but it has from all this research. It doesn't feel you don't feel uneasy when you're listening to your intuition. It feels this is so normal and natural. I think that will help if those, for those of you who are getting having a hard time differentiating between gut intuition and anxiety, right? Lesley Logan 6:20  So trusting your intuition involves cultivating inner quiet paying attention to bodily sensations. Those are somatic markers. We have some, had some great somatic guests on the show, like Lauren Zoeller, so definitely listen to her episodes. If you want to dive into somatics more, you got to practice the intuition in low stake situations. So that's going to be helpful, because we don't want to be making our first decision on a high stakes situation, you got to is it going to the gym, right? It's like a muscle. So key methods for listening to your intuition are going to be in meditation, journaling and slowing down. That's going to help you distinguish that feelings from fear by identifying physical signs like tension or calm and validating past experiences. You can build confidence in your intuition. And I, will say, you know how I get on every guest I'm like, if you're gonna tell us how to journal, what are we journaling about? And I think this is where, if you are trying to listen to your gut more, maybe the journaling is a form of question, why do I feel that way? Why is this coming up? What? How does this make me feel? Where do I feel this in my body? Then you can, you know, write it out, and that can be really helpful. So asking yourself questions based on the gut instinct that you're feeling that might help you discover if it's truly from you, if it's from fear. I can't I mean, slowing down. Oh my god, right. So as I said, there's gonna be a few more here that might sound the same, but we're talking about a different way that might help you. Lesley Logan 7:41  So widening your mind, reducing mental noise, or meditation and deep breathing, or spending time in nature to better hear your voice. So I love this suggestion, because I don't think people get on nature enough. If you've read the book The Artist's Way she has, you go on artist dates, and sometimes it's like just taking your shoes off and walking in grass, right? I think that that can be really helpful. And so if you have a hard time quieting your mind, maybe that's what you're practicing. Listening to your body. We talked about that tightness versus the ease. Journaling daily, we talked about that this is really good. Write down your thoughts and hunches to uncover patterns in your thinking and recognize your intuition has guided you correctly. So taking a legal pad of paper and just writing out what's on your mind, you'll recognize patterns quickly, because, especially if you force yourself to do three pages, here's what happens. Some of you guys are overthinking your thoughts and just gonna say, don't even try to read your writing. Just write. Right? David Corbin will say, close your eyes and just write. But, I think that some people could overthink the journaling, which means you're not quieting your mind. You're not going to get your intuition, but just writing. And what I found when I was doing The Artist's Way page is I found why I was inactive in a lot of decisions, because I was I had so much fear, but I wasn't able to articulate that. And I've been feeling that in my body, but I couldn't get it to my brain. And so it really helped me go, oh, this is what I'm afraid of. Okay, well, is that gonna happen? How could that happen? How can I avoid that happening? Okay, now I can make the decision, right? So you're gonna practice with easy decisions to build trust by following your gut on small daily choices such as, what to eat or who to reach out to. So we're not making big decisions on your job or your relationship. You're just like, hmm, I feel like having a sandwich right now. Okay, let's go have a sandwich right now. Was that? Was that your intuition, right? Like reaching out to a friend? Oh, I feel I should call this person, call them, or at least text them, right? Try that out. Lesley Logan 9:30  So this one is a little bit. Might be a little woo-woo. Okay. But if you read the book E-Squared, you'll, you won't think it. So use the body sway test. Stand up, relax and think of a decision. Feel if your body moves forward, that's a yes or backward, that's a no. My girlfriend, she wanted to see if she if I was drinking something, and she was like, oh, I wonder if that would work for me. And so she closed her eyes, she held it in her hand, and she's like, will this help me? And then her body leaned forward. I watched it happen. I swear to God, so that could be helpful, right? Some other key practices to strengthen your intuition. So, getting quiet, and this means getting in nature or quiet for 10 to 15 minutes daily. I know that's a lot, because, you know that's 1% of your day, so just keep that in mind. Notice physical sensations. I think a lot of us are really not connected to our bodies, which is why I'm such a passionate person about having a consistent Pilates practice, but noticing physical sensations, right? Being able to really notice, oh, my feet are cold right now, or you know just what's going on your body? There's things that are changing all the time.Lesley Logan 10:30  Differentiating from fear. So in Tuesday's episode, we talked about how like, fear can also say it's intuition. So intuition is generally calm and patient and persistent, whereas anxiety feels urgent and chaotic, intense, trusting, small signals. So this is really, this is where I find, like, My intuition is the most helpful. And once I start to notice these, I start to notice bigger ones, but small signals that something just something's going on. You're like, oh, you know, that's what a hunch, right? What a hunch. I'm going to follow that hunch, and then that way, with these little signals, we actually can actually lead to bigger decisions without waiting for the big gut instinct. Like, you should do this, right? Some people do a coin flip method. That's not something I would love, but, it might help you, right? Because, I think if you put a head, I'm going to do this, tails, let me do this, and then it flips. You're like, oh, it's tails. Well, that tells you what you really wanted. You wanted a head. So go to the heads. And then visualize outcomes. Imagine living with each option for a few days to see which brings a sense of peace or relief. And I think that also is helpful for understanding how you feel when your gut instinct is telling you to do something. What does ease feel like in your body? It might feel different than what it feels like for me, right? And then clean up emotions. Suppressed emotions can block intuitive signals, so acknowledge and process fear and anxiety clear the wave for clearer and quieter and more confident guidance. And so I think that that's important. I think a lot of us have a lot of bottled up emotions, which I like to do breath work because or exercise, because you can just, like, emotions just leave the body. Oh my gosh. If you were like, why did I cry in that workout today? Because it wanted to get out. It wanted to get out. And you got to stop suppressing these things because it's clogging up your channels through your intuition. Lesley Logan 12:14  So, in thinking about intuition, I was just thinking about okay, there's obviously a confidence thing here. And if you don't have confidence, you often have doubt, right? So like, how do we how do we figure out how to overcome doubt? And so I think this requires all of us, high achieving, busy people, to slow down, because your busy schedule can mask the intuition because you're not creating space to even hear it. So I'm not saying quit things. I'm not saying stop doing things. What I'm saying is how can you say no to some things, like, look at your schedules, or anything you can, like, take off of it this week. What pressures are you doing? It makes it really easy to start feeling what you're feeling, which means getting into your intuition. Also, I think another thing you can journal about that will help you overcome doubt is recalling past times your hunch was right. I think you need a little have, not a burn book, but some sort of wins hunch book where you put any hunches you followed on and then they were right. That's going to help with the confidence that you need to overcome the doubt that is this my intuition, or is this fear, right? And then being patient, developing trust in your intuition, takes time and consistency, and it is particularly going to take time if you're an overthinker, right? Just something to keep reminding yourself about, because I get it like I have so many things I want to do, I have so many things I care about. And the reality is, I'm one human being, and I can only do so much in a day. And if I'm too busy, I'm missing out on on picking up on things that might just be the best way to dial this way or that way, that can change the course of the impact I want to make. Right? Sometimes we just get on a path and we're doing the we're following the directions, this is the path I made, and I'm here, I'm going to just follow this path. And then there's like, Hey, do you want this path over here? And you're like, I'm too busy to see that ding. And it's like, hey, do you want to see this path over here? It's going to get you there fast. And you're like, Oh, this is the path. Because I'm too busy. I'm not thinking about it, right? Lesley Logan 14:13  I also wanted to give you some prompts for your journal that will help you when it comes to our intuition. So here they are, and we'll have these in the blog, in the show notes, so you can just copy and paste them. What is my body trying to tell me right now? You can even ask. I'll just give you a little second. We can hit pause. What is my body trying to tell me right now? If I were to trust myself completely, what would I do? Would you do anything differently? I would trust myself completely. What would I do? What is the gut feeling I have about blank and why? So if you're like, I don't hear my gut she's not talking to me. Well, what do you think the gut feeling is about that thing? Why do you think that what is one thing I know to be true? So even if I cannot logically explain it, what is one thing I know to be true? And I think that's helpful, it's almost like, oh, that I know that to be true, and it feels like this in my body. So if it feels like this, and this thing over here I'm thinking about feels the same, even if I don't have logic for it, then I then they can both. The feelings are the same, so they can both be true. What does my inner voice feel like? Is it a sound, a feeling or a vision? I think this is helpful, because I hear it as a voice, right? But some of you are more kinesthetic, and you feel it, or you hear some sort of sound. I know people that there's a scent that they'll smell, and then they'll literally, when they hear it, when they smell that scent, they'll stop, and they'll listen to themselves, and they'll actually hear their intuition. And then the scent doesn't fit anywhere. So for example, let's say the scent is Jasmine. There'll be no jasmine plant around, but they smelled Jasmine, and then they paid attention to what they were thinking, and that was how they did it. Or is it a vision? Can you see it happening in your brain playing out? So some more prompts. Recall a time you ignored your gut and what happened. So that helps you figure out what the signs are. Recall a time you trusted your intuition. What was that outcome? When do I most feel in touch with my inner voice? What am I doing when I feel the most in touch with my inner voice, that will help you go and find it. Maybe it's like, oh, when I walk outside, well, then that helps you, because then if you need to hear it and make a decision, and you're like, I don't want to do get the hell outside, right? What is one fear that stops me from listening to my intuition? What is one fear that stops me from listening to my intuition? Like, what are you afraid of? If you listen to it? Isn't it so interesting how when we like call out our fear and we actually say it out loud, how silly it sounds? Lesley Logan 16:47  All right, how can I honor my needs today? Another prompt for your journal. How can I honor my needs today? What does the best version of myself need to know today? That's a be it till I see it. What is the best version of myself need to know today? What feels heavy or forced right now? What feels light and flowing right now? And then you can complete the sentence I am ready for link. Lesley Logan 17:15  And then last thing I just want to leave you with is different ways to journal, because I know you. I know you, and that's why I it on our guests, like, you can't just say journal. You have to tell them what to journal about. So I gave you those prompts, but you can do free writing. I talked about that's like The Artist's Way, or what David Corbin does, just like writing. What's like just going just write your thoughts. Or you can do more of a set the scene type thing. So you create a quiet space. You take a few deep breaths, and you use your journal to remove distractions. So you're probably gonna have more of a prompt there. But you're gonna take a quiet time, ask yourself the question, take some deep breaths. But set the scene. For me, I will just write anywhere some people need to go, in their writing corner that's setting the scene, and then you have to review. So in The Artist's Way, you don't read the notes back, but if you're doing the book during one of the weeks closer to the end, you do go back, and she has you look for certain words to see what the patterns are, and that's going to help you understand the recurring themes, words or feelings. When you do that, that helps you realize your gut is talking to you and that your intuition is there, it makes it easier for you to listen to it in the future without that. Lesley Logan 18:26  So think I want to just leave you with this building trust. Building up that trust to listen to your intuition, it's necessary to pause so you can distinguish between the true intuitive calm and the loud, reactive fear. And I really do think that some of the reasons why so many of us have a hard time listening to our intuition, aside from what society's pressures are, is that the fear voice is so loud because we spent so much time listening to it, we have had way more experience Listening to the fear instead of listening to our intuition, and that that may be because just of the life that you've had prior to this. And I need you to give yourself kindness and grace, and I need you to consider getting help around that, some professional help. If journaling for you like, I've journaled all this. Lesley, this is stupid, great, then you might need some help. And if you I've had help, get different help, right? Because I can say confidently that at the times I've listened to my intuition, they've always led me, yes with obstacles, yes with some pain, yes with some frustration, but they've always led me further along and closer to the person I want to be. And I can connect the dots looking back, but I can definitely could not connect the dots when I was in it. There was no logical pattern for how he's gonna get from a point A to point B. Lesley Logan 19:44  This house that we're in, I told people I wanted to move by June 1st. I was like, oh, I live there on June 1st. And they're like, you can't buy a house in nine days. There's always 30 days of extra. Watch me do it. We found a person who wanted to rent to own. Guess what? Move in nine days. Bought the house on our contract to deed, and we did it, you know. And there were so many times when logic was going to say, that's not gonna work out. I just kept trusting, like, what feels right? When I walked in this house, I was like, I don't use any other houses. This is the house. They said. The rooms are exactly where I want them to be. Is it perfect? The outlets are fucking crooked. No, I gotta fix those. But I think that's where using your gut instinct to get yourself like when you trust it, when you can hear it, when you've got that muscle, it really helps you not focus on what logic is saying. Because if I'd focus on logic, then I would have waited probably a couple more months. Maybe we'd more taxes. Then it had been too expensive. We might have moved to Vegas. We wouldn't be able to we wouldn't, we would not be in our neighborhood. I can tell you that right now, and been priced out. We've been in a different neighborhood and have an office somewhere. Lesley Logan 20:48  So I'll just say, maybe the last thing to say is this, be mindful of whose opinions you listen to that let you let talk you in or out of what your gut instinct says. I have some people my life that when they disagree with me, I just lean heavier. I'm like, oh yeah, because you don't like this idea. I know it's a good one, but that might not be you. Maybe if someone says those things to you, you actually doubt yourself. And I would say they don't get to know the decisions that you're making, not until you get stronger at it. You're amazing. I hope that these two episodes on intuition are helpful. We have ina next week talking about listening to your body to heal yourself. And we're going to keep these amazing series going. If you have more topics, or you want me to dive in even deeper, you have a question, send it in, because that question could end up becoming a two episode series that we dive into and that could lead into a guess all that kind of stuff. Don't keep it to yourself. How can we help you be it till you see it if we don't know what you're trying to be it till right, all right. Thanks so much. And until next time, be it till you see it. Lesley Logan 21:49  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 22:31  It's written, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 22:36  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.coBrad Crowell 22:41  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 22:48  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 22:51  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In Part 1 of her Listening to Yourself series, Lesley Logan unpacks what intuition actually is and why so many of us struggle to hear it. Drawing on personal stories and current research, she explores how subconscious pattern recognition, past experiences, and inner calm shape the way our gut speaks to us. She also names the noise that drowns it out: fear, trauma, social pressure, and over-reliance on logic. This episode is a grounded reset for anyone who's lost trust in their inner voice. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:What intuition actually is, and the science of subconscious pattern recognition.The reason a gut feeling can seem illogical now but make sense later.Three books that explain fear, trauma, and your inner voice.Ways fear, anxiety, and past trauma quietly disguise themselves as intuition.The difference between calm intuition and loud, urgent fear.Episode References/Links:Quora: Why Is It So Hard to Trust Intuition - https://share.google/xCow6Q7yTdKUQMPkoMedium: What Intuition Really Is and Isn't - https://share.google/DBWNMS5g6vafDOAejIPC: What Exactly Is Intuition - https://share.google/eH2S0zlOENreq2AsVPsychology Today - https://share.google/gDyxkjMpOgu31QO75The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker - https://a.co/d/03NEtJNIWhat Happened to You by Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey - https://a.co/d/0aOdhLkoGetting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix - https://a.co/d/07Ct9mnJCatch and Kill by Ronan Farrow - https://a.co/d/0aEu2NNzMoonBrew - https://moonbrew.co/lesleylogan20Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  Trusting your intuition is difficult because it's easily confused with fear, anxiety or past trauma, rather than a purely rational guide. It is built on learned experience and subconscious pattern recognition, meaning it can be biased or inaccurate. New situations, additionally high stress, societal pressure and logical over-analytical thinking, often drown out inner quiet knowing. Lesley Logan 0:19  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:01  All right, Be It babe. Hi. We're gonna have a really fun series for you, two episodes. I know, isn't it fun? I certainly hope so. So if you're new to the Be It pod. Normally, in the past, we always had an interview on Tuesdays and a recap on Thursdays. And after five years of doing that, I talked to so many people, I've had so many requests on topics that sometimes it's hard just find a guest who wants to talk about that for like, 20 minutes, right? And so I thought it'd be fun to take some of the topics that you guys have been requesting and then do some deep dive research myself, share them with you, and then we can have other guests come on after that that kind of dovetail into that topic. And so we have a great episode coming out next week, that's all about listening to your body and what it's telling you and healing yourself. And so that led me to going, like, can everyone listen to their intuition? Like, do we all have it? Is it easy to listen to yourself? And so I don't know, let's, let's talk about it, right? I think, as someone who's an Aquarius, who's in her head all the time, I was like, is it, is talking to myself as an Aquarius with ADHD in my head all the time, the same as intuition? And the more I thought about it, the more I realized, like, I don't think so. I think that's just like self-talk. But what we'll see, what the research says in just a second. But I will also say, like, I can think of certain times where, like, there was a very clear voice that came through in my life about what I should be doing next. And I remember going, that is such a weird thing to hear or say or think, and so that's why I feel like it's not the same as, like just talking to yourself. I think there's like a clear voice that cuts through and it's like, hey, hold on. Pay attention to this. I'll tell you a couple of them. Lesley Logan 2:38  One, the voice that I heard in my head when I was in a Pilates class, and this had been in 2007, I did Pilates for a couple of years at that point, and I was, like, it was probably around April or May of 2007 and because I moved into a couple months later. So actually, no, in my mind it must have beenJune, because I, like, was such a quick turnaround, like 30 days. So it must have been June. So I was in a Pilates class, and I heard my voice go, I don't like living here, in the Pilates class, I don't like living here. And I remember going, what a weird thing to say because the truth is, like, consciously, I love living where I live. I live by the beach. Who wouldn't wnat to do that? I've been living by the beach for almost seven years. At that point, like the one of the luckiest people, I had the greatest job. And so for me to say I don't like living here, was kind of like a big thought to have, and that that thought later that day, when I went to work and I picked up the phone and somebody was like, hey, Lesley. She had my same job at a different location in L.A. in Santa Monica, so it was also by the beach. And she said, hey Lesley, she's like, I put my two-week notice in, and it was like, my my mind was like, remember the thing that I heard, and my mind goes, oh, I'm gonna put in for your I'm gonna put in transfer for your job, right? And so then I so that was one moment where, like, the intuition was just so clear for me, for like, what I need to do and how I need to change my life. Another time that I can share with you about, like, listening to my intuition is one of my clients. So two, two parts. So in December of 2019, Brad and I were in Vegas, kicking off our very first tour ever. And we were at Vesta Coffee Shop. It's on Casino Center Drive, shout out to our neighbors, and I've never been there. We're waiting for our pop up to start. And we were having coffee, and Brad goes, I could live here. Said that, right? And I looked around, and I was like, I know it feels like the weird side of Melrose, like the place in town, like we've always want to kind of live at and we didn't have it, and it didn't even feel weird to even think because we loved L.A. So like, it's kind of just a little weird that, like he would say that, and I'm like, we love L.A. So like, why would I go, yeah, you know? And so then I gathered some information. Later that day, I asked my brother, like, do people live here who don't like work in the industry here? And he's like, oh, yeah, you know. And so put that aside. Like Brad said that thing, I had this feeling like, oh. And I got some more information. Then, two weeks after shutdowns and Covid, so we're in April, one of my clients said, hey, this company I work for is going to be working remote until June of 2021, so I think you should break your lease, cancel it, put yourself in storage like you know. And my immediate thought when she said that, my brain was like, space is going to become a commodity. Brad and I need to move to Vegas now, right? And so that was just like this intuition moment that I could then take action on and then, and on June 1st we moved. So I think that, like, it really does require a little bit of information and then trust in your gut, but that's what I think. I'd love to know what you think, and here's what the research says. So let's see if we think I'm spot on, or if you agree with me or agree with the research. Lesley Logan 5:40  So I have two things for today's episode. Today's episode is like, what is intuition? And then also, why is it difficult for us to hear or trust our intuition? Thursday's episode is going to be on tools to actually hear your intuition better. Okay? So that's the breakdown of our lineup. So, and then the sources for this information are always gonna be in our show notes. So, what is intuition? Intuition isn't magic or fantasy. Intuition is the ability to acquire knowledge or understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning or analytical thought, often described as a gut feeling. It acts as an inner voice that processes information, past experiences and pattern recognition on a subconscious level to guide decisions. So you can see from my two examples, like I had to have information. You know, like I I had been living in the place where I've been living for a while, and I've been doing Pilates, and then I had this thought, and then when I went to this to the next part of my day, I got more information. It was like, I can act on that gut feeling, right? Brad and I liked Vegas. Thought about moving here in two or three years, so in 2022 or 2023 and then again, got some information, and my gut feeling is like, oh, I can take action on that. So it's just, it's, it's kind of like the same thing that people could say that luck is the intersection of preparation meets opportunity. I do think that the more I read about this intuition stuff, it's like you have a connection to your thoughts, and then you get, it meets opportunity and information, and then the two connect together and for you to take an action on that, no one else would see, because they're not in you, and they don't, they have different thoughts that get the same information, so it's gonna have a different reaction, right? So key aspects of intuition, there's a subconscious processing. It's not magical, but rather the brain's rapid, automatic analysis of previous experiences, of stored knowledge. So your brain is as a fiel cabinet, and it's got the stuff going on, and then all of a sudden it's a rapid automatic like looking through the files and going, boom, hold on, what? Check this out. Listen to this. Right? Lesley Logan 7:32  Pattern recognition. It functions the mental shortcut, helping individuals recognize patterns in complex situations. One of the things that I joke about, and I feel like several of you listeners have agreed that you have the same thing is like when the shoe drops, I have such clarity of the next thing to go, like the next thing to do, right? So, for example, we were on a plane coming home from Cambodia on March 14th 2020, and I already knew L.A. had shut down. We had heard that the day before, and so we had sent our dog walker to a grocery store, like I just sent her a bunch of money. I was like, please get any groceries you can. Good luck. Stay safe, right? And we're on this plane, and I'm getting all these emails of all these people who are trying to cancel contracts I have for the year. And I told Brad, I said, the Pilates industry does not know how to teach online, and every single person has to go online yesterday, so when I get home, I'm going to teach the people who are in our Profitable Pilates agency membership, how to teach online, I'm going to to do that tomorrow. So I like set it up. I told everyone at this time, at this day, it's your part of your membership. I'm teaching you. And then I had a public one that I charge for for five days later. So I knew based on just how much of my life experience as a teacher that was teaching online, and then so I knew what I had been doing, but most people are not trained to do that, and so it was this like mental shortcut that I was able to go, this is a complex situation. Hold on. I know how to teach this. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna let it go. I'm gonna do it right now. It's like, it was this like urge that I had to get it done. I'm really proud of what we did and how we saved so many people's businesses because of that quick mental shortcut. Pattern Recognition, right? Lesley Logan 9:07  Speed and emotion, intuitive thoughts often appear quickly in consciousness accompanied by an emotional or physical sensation. Right? Speed and emotion, intuitive thoughts often appear quickly in consciousness accompanied by an emotion or physical sensation. Bridge between mind and logic. It bridges the gap between the conscious and unconscious mind operating beneath layers of logic. And I think that is really important, because I believe that in hindsight, we can see how logical some of these gut instincts, intuition moments are, but in the actual moment it it seems illogical if you were to tell people, like, when I came home and told Brad, I was like, space is gonna be a commodity, we need to buy a house right now. Luckily he just, like, had been on board with my crazy thoughts already, but a lot of people were like, you shouldn't be spending any money right now. There's so much uncertain. Like, the logical part would be like, don't buy a house right now, right? So it really does bridge the gap between these two. Lesley Logan 10:00  How it works. Intuition relies on tacit knowledge, which information, which is information gathered over time that is not consciously recalled. It's particularly effective in situations where quick, high stake decisions are required, such as detecting danger, assessing a person's trustworthiness. While powerful, it can be influenced by biases such as past negative experiences. That's important, your intuition can be a little flawed based on your past experience. Experiences, so it's always important that you are growing and learning. Because there's two books I want to that my brain just recalled that I feel like, oh my gosh, we have to talk about these right now. One of these books is called The Gift of Fear. It's by Gavin de Becker, and the book when I read it, so I will say I've read it with a diff in a different place in my life, but when I read It, there's an interesting part about how your gut will tell you, like something, like instinct about something, but then logic will tell you something completely different. And so then you'll lean on logic when your gut instinct was to, like, not trust the person, or not trust the thing. Now with that said, if you have a past experience in the subconscious that can actually affect you reading your intuition a little incorrectly, let me explain that there's. Oh the other book. Here we go. So there's the book What Happened to You, and that is with a great doctor and Oprah, and it talks about how your brain is developing. So as a child, if someone had a special scent or smell or voice or something like that, it will attribute that scent or smell or voice response to some and let's say that person was a negative person in your life, it will attribute that. So if you smell that your your gut instinct might be to feel fear and unsafe when that person has nothing to do with that, and that's in the present moment that has nothing to do with that. And but you're you're you're misreading based on your past experience. So you do want to make sure that you're you, if you have any of any traumas in your life, that you're not necessarily using that trauma to cast a judgment on somebody else you don't know. But so definitely, The Gift of Fear, read What Happened to You, if that's some if you have anything like that, if you smell something and it instantly makes you want to go, oh my god, I gotta leave this place. I would definitely explore that so you can retrain that, because it could be a shitty person. But if it's not, we don't want your intuition to lead to the wrong way. Okay, the third book, I didn't finish this book, I will say, and I have no idea if this author ages well in life, and we're not going to go down that road, but, but in it's called Getting the Love You Want. And I had a lot of parents who were couples read it, and they were a really in problematic relationships. So I don't know why I took the recommendation, but I was in a different relationship, and I was like, okay, I want to read this with you. And of course, big red flag, they did not want to read it with me. But one of the things about in the first chapter of this book, which is, like, the most important part that kind of goes with what I was just talking about in What Happened to You is that when we get into relationships, we fill all of our holes up, right holes with an H, and we fill all of our holes up, and then we project the person that we're with filled those holes up, but we actually just did it ourselves. And then when the relationship is no longer new, and we are tired of filling our holes, we stop doing that, and then we blame the other person for change. Person for changing when really we were the ones that were doing that. But in that book, it talks about how oftentimes we cast judgments on people based on subconscious thoughts from early childhood with different people in our family. So we either trust someone because they seem like their energy, seems like your grandmother, who you loved, or they seem like your your stepfather, who you didn't, right? So, so definitely worth if you have, if you're having a hard time trusting yourself, or you are, you feel like you might be misinterpreting based on past experiences, you might want to check those things out. Or, instead of reading the books, just go get some great, wonderful help. Lesley Logan 13:45  Okay, so back to this, how it works. Remember, I'll just repeat myself. Intuition relies on tacit knowledge, which is information gathered over time that is not consciously recalled. It's particularly effective in situations where quick, high stakes decisions are required, such as detecting danger or assessing a person's trustworthiness. While powerful, it can be influenced by biases such as negative past experiences. So definitely, I agree, like I think that intuition isn't something that's like happening all day long, all the time, although it could be, I guess. But for the most of us, we're really like relying on it and like paying attention to it in times of need, when we have to make a quick decision, and that's almost like you get a little more clarity, right, like the mind chatter does stop, so you can actually hear what's important. So we have some examples. So if a soldier or police officer is sensing danger in a seemingly safe environment, though that could be like, where your intuition is like, ooh. Like, why do I feel weird in this place? It's so perfectly wonderful interpersonal feeling an immediate sense of unease or trust regarding a new person, right? You go to a family event, someone brings a friend, and you're like, I do not like this person. I will say, okay, I remember in high school, I always watched Good Morning America. My mom would always find The Today Show, and I was like that, Matt Lauer guy is weird. There's just something about that. Matt Lauer guy I do not like, and she's like, Lesley, you don't even know him. He is a reporter, and I am not. I could not stand the sound of his voice. So then, when I read Ronan Farrow's book, I was like, fucking knew it. I knew it. I knew it, right? Like it's so, so I will say sometimes it's like, it feels illogical to other people, but you might have an immediate sense of unease or trust regarding a new person. And then skill-based, an expert making a split correct decision in a fast paced game or in a professional setting based on deep experiences. You've seen this in the movies, right? You've even done this, right? So this is, as a Pilates instructor, something I try to teach other Pilates instructors is, like, it takes time for your gut to be like, they need this exercise over here, but it doesn't come if you're talking all the time, right? If you constantly are counting for clients, and you're constantly talking the whole time, you can't actually be present enough to see if, like, what's going on, and then you can't hear the intuition saying, I think they should go to this exercise over here. I'll never forget the time that I was watching Jay Grimes teach, and I said, oh, why did you give him that exercise? He was like, I don't know. My gut just said he needed it, right? Like, that's the that's a skill-based one. That's the one I pride myself in having. Lesley Logan 16:00  Okay, so now let's actually talk about why trusting your intuition can be difficult, like why it might be hard to hear when your intuition is talking to you. So trusting your intuition is difficult because it's easily confused with fear, anxiety or past trauma, rather than a purely rational guide. It is built on learned experience and subconscious pattern recognition. Meaning it can be biased or inaccurate new situations. Additionally, high stress, societal pressure, and logical over analytical thinking often drown out inner quiet knowing. So I'll just say, like, I think sometimes we can't hear it because we don't want to, because we know the answer is probably something that's we're doing that's different, you know, like that past person I was with who didn't really read the book. I remember being on the 101 freeway, and I remember thinking, gosh, I wish he would just break up with me. Right? My thought wasn't like, oh, I should break up with him. It would say, would you just break up with me? And then I was like, oh, my god, and I'd have to move and I have to do these things. And like, he's not a bad guy, and, like, on paper, he wasn't. So like, it's really interesting how we can, like, have intuitive thoughts and then, like, because they don't make sense in logic, we kind of, like talk ourselves out of it. Also say, I remember having, I remember this distinct moment where my brain was like, you should just make a left here. And I was like, why would I make a left here, and instead I made a left, where I always make a left, and I was in a head on collision. So, you know, I don't know why I thought that, but I, like, literally, wasn't listening at that time in my life. And so I think it can be, depending on what's going on in your life, it can be hard to listen to those things, or you might not. You might have a series of time of just actually not trusting yourself and the decisions you made. And so then you when your inner intuition is telling you something you haven't you don't have trust there, right? And so I feel that I see that. Lesley Logan 17:46  So here are some other main reasons why it's hard to trust your intuition, confusion with fear and trauma, what feels like a gut feeling is often an emotional reaction based on past trauma, fear or anxiety causing you to overreact. Anxiety often masquerades as intuition, especially when facing new or challenging but harmless situation. So again, I do think if you know that certain things cause you some anxiety or fear, it is absolutely worth go and exploring that with someone who with a professional because what I don't want you to do, and what you take from this episode is that, oh, when I have fear anxiety, it's like, not real, and I should just listen to my intuition that is like, that's not what I want. I actually want you to get some clear, urgent support, so that you can recognize the difference between anxiety and intuition, right? Context dependency. Intuition relies on learned patterns of the past. If you're in a new or unfamiliar situation, your gut may not have the necessary experience to provide accurate guidance, making it unreliable in, for example, on modern, complex scenarios compared to simple, repetitive ones. So like, I think this is where you can if you are in a new situation, a new job, a new totally different thing, maybe, like, you're supposed to fly into JFK, and you end up flying into some other place, and now you're like, it's gonna be really difficult to hear your gut, because your your your intuition, because your brain doesn't have a file for that place, and so it's, it's almost like a lot of noise, right? So then I would just say, like, don't judge yourself for not being able to hear yourself. Your brain is trying to take in the information it needs before it can even pipe in with some intuition. Logical over analysis. The logical sensor in our brain often dominates decision making, dismissing subtle nonverbal or non logical cues. So if you read The Gift of Fear, he talks about how like he was in a restaurant and it smelled like the smell, smelled like Italian. And he was like, oh, Italian. And he's looking at like the name of the restaurant, and it's Italian. But the pictures everywhere are not Italian restaurant pictures. They're they're quite very they're quite different, right? And so his, he knew he like lot, like his intuition, like, Oh my god, look at this. It's onna be a great Italian meal. But then the logic around him was showing that it wasn't Italian. So he's like, oh maybe it's not Italian, so maybe it's it's whatever he thought it was, and I should order this x, y or z, then the menu came as it was fucking Italian, right? So it's really easy for us to talk ourselves out of what we're actually hearing by using logic. And logic can, logic is there for a reason. I'm not bad mouthing it, but sometimes it can lead you astray, and because your gut had is actually picking up on the subtler things that are, that are actually what's going on. Mental noise and stress. High levels of stress, depression or being a state of shock, can distort or block intuitive signals. So you're stressed out right now, my love like, that's why you're not hearing it right. You're not hearing your intuition because you're in a high stress space. So it's not like a meditation a day is going to solve that problem. You might have to do and make other changes, but be kind to yourself. It's gonna be harder to hear. Got a lot going on. Prior failures, past mistakes can make you lose confidence in your own judgment. And I think this is where we have to be really kind to ourselves, because I always believe we fail forward. I really do believe that like making like if you think you made, in air quotes, a bad decision based on something you thought your intuition, and it led you to door number three. Well, my thing is that, you know, if you didn't die, then door number three is not a bad door it's an experience you need to have. Your brain would actually have more information to make better decisions in the future. And so actually, maybe you're supposed to go through door number three, and your intuition was spot on, right? Like, I will absolutely say, like I would not be here talking to you today had I not gone and taken that first Pilates class when my logic noise was saying, do not do that, right? I would not be here today if I had relied on my past failures. Of like, the first time we did Agency, nobody bought it. But now Agency is, like, eight years old and has helped 1000s of businesses. So I would just say like you're gonna fail in life. It doesn't mean you can't trust yourself. It means you had to learn something so that you can have even greater information and success in the future. But just be kind to yourself. Social pressure, the desire to conform to social norms, where fear of judgment can override your internal signals. I think this is really huge. I will tell you right now, my gut was spot on with all my exes, every single one, but especially my last one. I remember my gut was like, this is I think we should let this one go. And people at my job were like, oh my god, he sent flowers. Oh my god, he picked you up for a date. Oh my god, he did these things. And so then I stopped listening to my gut ended up in a five fucking year long relationship. Right when I can tell you right now, within 48 hours, my gut was like, should move on from this. You know. Anyways, that happens, though, because societal pressure and norms can, like, really change your decisions on, on what you're doing, and make you not listen to yourself. Self-sabotage, sometimes self sabotaging behavior disguise itself is the gut feeling to keep you in a comfortable, familiar, but limiting state. So what I will say is, I have many people saying, oh, gosh, I had this obstacle, which means I'm probably not supposed to be doing the thing that I'm doing. And I would say, like, actually, is that it's saying, or is it saying, like, hey, how bad do you want this? Are you going to work a little harder for it? Right? You know what I mean? Like, I think, like, first of all, I think too many people think that things are going to come like, easy for you, just because you have this great idea that it's just going to be easy to do. Nothing is easy to do. We're working on two major projects right now that scare the fuck out of me, if I'm completely honest. And every time I think maybe we shouldn't do it, my gut's like, oh, you're doing it like you you're supposed to do it. Like, talk about, like, that gut instinct where, like, there's that emotional and physical feeling we talked about earlier in the episode. Like, every time I think I'm not going to do it, I actually feel uneasy. And when I think, like, well, I am going to do it. It's like, yeah, because that makes the most sense. So I would just say that, like, it's easy to self-sabotage and stop yourself and call it intuition, because you're feeling an obstacle, but that's not necessarily what's happening. And how do you know if it's self-sabotage or actually a gut intuition? I think you'll have to actually just look back at your past behaviors. Are you doing something you've done in the past? Oh, something's getting really hard, and so you're talking yourself out of it, right? Maybe you have to ask yourself, like, what is the cost of not doing this? Like, you might have to just take a little bit more time and do some journaling, or give yourself a little bit more time. Let me just hang on a little longer. I can always stop this in the future, but let's just, like, take a little bit longer, get a little bit more information. Now that said, sometimes people are so afraid of self-sabotage that they talk themselves into being in jobs longer and relationships longer and other things longer. So I just say like, you know you the best. This is where you have to get honest with yourself, right? So it's because I don't want you to be like, -h, I'm I don't want to self-sabotage if I stick out this thing and I and Lesley said, so no, I just want you to just pay attention to your own patterns and what is going on. Here's the thing, hearing your intuition is difficult because it is a quiet, subtle inner voice that is easily drowned out by loud, racing thoughts, fear and societal demands for logic. It is often hard to distinguish from anxiety or past traumas, which present as urgent, emotional and reactive, rather than calm and steady, like if you are someone who is like feeling the effects of cortisol has had past trauma, has a lot going on in your mind. You're it's you're there's too much uncertainty in your life. I just want you to know if you're having a hard time hearing what to do next, it's, it's because you got, there's a lot going on and there's a lot going on right now. Oh my god. Like logic and society would say, let's not start anything new right now, right? But I will also say that, like, some of the craziest things I did at times were the so uncertain I am, like, sitting in this beautiful house, that people are like, you're crazy to buy a house when, like, you're not even sure what Covid is going to do with your business right now. Now, I also don't want people to go into debt, because it's, my gut says so, like, we have to really make sure that we're, we're making decisions from the right place and sitting with those things. And as you build that up, you might need to take some time and make sure that, like, it's the same answer. You know, you like, start, like, shake a magic eight ball, and you get an answer. You're like, I don't like this answer, and shake it again to get another answer. This is, like, I would say it's the opposite. It's like, maybe, if you're working on trusting your intuition and not self-sabotage or talking yourself out of things or using society's pressures to stick with whatever you're supposed to do, maybe you're looking for the eight ball to say the same thing three days in a row, right? All right. Lesley Logan 26:22  So just a couple, just to go on to that, because I know, I know you my listener. I know you need more information. So here is more information on why it's hard to hear your intuition. So overthinking and noise, overthinking, chronic overthinking. Hello, my chronic overthinkers. I see you. Stress and anxiety create mental noise that drowns out the quiet, subtle whispers of intuition. So if that's you, might want to be taking some time, maybe the habits to try to figure out, like, what do I do with my overthinking thoughts? I am an over thinker at night. Holy frickin moly, it is insanity. So guess what? MoonBrew, extra magnesium, a little extra support from my hormone specialist, and I can overthink in the morning, and then I'm like this. It's too beautiful to overthink right now, right fear, miss it misidentified as intuition. So true intuition feels calm, while fear-based thoughts are loud, urgent and emotional. We often confuse fear or past trauma, for example, needing to protect yourself for intuition. So I think I love that they brought this up, because it's like, how do you know? And as I've just mentioned a few times, it's one thing I'm thinking of doing every time I think about not doing it, it doesn't feel easy. Every time I think about doing it, this is gonna be the hardest thing I've ever done. But there's a calmness, like a confidence to my body that I feel, right? Over reliance on logic, so society priorities is data, facts and rational thinking, leading us to dismiss gut feelings that lack immediate logical explanation. So just notice, like, look, I do believe in data over dogma, but just kind of notice when you're letting other people's need for data determine what you how you make your decisions, that's their need, not yours. Lack of inner calm, intuition requires a grounded, present state. You're overwhelmed, ungrounded, or disconnected from your body, you cannot hear the physical sensations that often accompany intuitive nudges right. So like, I will just say, if you are not in an inner calm state, you should not be making any decisions. One, you're not gonna hear your intuition. But two, like, we all make poor decisions. Date terrible people pick big fights when we're not in inner calm state. So you might want to figure out things that help you with that. Lack of trust and self-doubt, low self-confidence or history of dismissing your own feelings can make it difficult to trust your inner voice when it does speak. I feel that I get you. I've been there. Lesley Logan 28:27  So my love. I hope this gave you some like kind of thought and some insight about, like, intuition versus inner chatter, versus why it's hard. I hope you know like it's totally normal to feel like you have lost your inner voice, or that you don't have that trust there. I think that there's just so much going on, and I don't know that our intuition can really, like, compete with, like, the scroll, the instant scroll, of so many things that are going on and and, you know, the time I'm recording this, like, you know, the President is, like, threatening to be at war. But also, you know, that's a distraction for the files. And then there's this happening over here, and then the hockey team just bringing up what every single female, like, always feels is happening all of the time. And you're just like, oh my god, and I have to go to work, and I have to fill this thing out, and I have to figure out how I'm gonna make this big decision. And so I just want you to know, like, there is a lot going on, so it can be hard. And I would highly encourage you to figure out, maybe brainstorm, go back to the habits episode and brainstorm all the different things that you could do to try to just like, get a habit or a thing that you could do to help you calm your nervous system so that then you can make decisions from a better place, and just remember that taking all that information is helping you with your intuition. Your intuition relies on information that you have filed away. Hard to have intuition on something you've never done or experienced or know, right? So I think you're amazing. I really hope that you are into this series. So Thursday, I'll give you the tools for listening and hearing it better, and then next week, we're going to have a really great guest who used her inner knowing and inner guidance to help heal herself. So I think that there's there's so much that our intuition and our inner guidance can do if we're listening. And so I hope this gets you started. Lesley Logan 30:18  If you have a topic that you want me to discuss, or if you have something related to this that you want to share with us, you can send it to the beitpod.com/questions. Ask a question. You can share a win about it, or you can you can just tell us, I'd love to hear how this is helping you and until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 30:32  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 31:14  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 31:19  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 31:24  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 31:31  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 31:34  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

As artificial intelligence tools become cheaper, smarter and easier to use, they are helping more Chinese entrepreneurs turn personal expertise and online followings into one-person companies (OPCs), building lean businesses powered by digital platforms and AI-driven productivity.随着人工智能工具变得更实惠、更智能、更易用，越来越多的中国创业者正借助AI，将个人专长与线上粉丝转化为“一人公司”，构建以数字平台和AI驱动的生产力为支撑的轻量化商业模式。For Wang Yao, founder of an OPC built around her online personal channel "Wiley", the appeal lies not in scale, but in flexibility and low risk.王瑶（网名“Wiley”）就是一位围绕个人线上频道打造“一人公司”的创业者。对她而言，这种模式的吸引力不在于规模，而在于灵活性和低风险。Through social media content sharing personal growth, life abroad and cost-effective ways to improve productivity, Wang's channel has attracted over 100,000 followers on Chinese social media platform Xiaohongshu, and has built a business centered on consulting services and brand partnerships.王瑶通过社交媒体分享个人成长、海外生活以及高性价比的提升效率方法，其频道在中国社交平台小红书上吸引了超过10万粉丝，并围绕咨询服务和品牌合作构建了商业模式。"The company operates in a very healthy way because it has zero debt, low costs and high flexibility," Wang said, describing her business model as the monetization of "trust-based traffic".“公司运营非常健康，因为它零负债、低成本、高灵活性，”王瑶说，她的商业模式就是将“信任流量”变现。Wang said more people are beginning to realize that entrepreneurship no longer necessarily requires large teams, venture capital or corporate backing.王瑶表示，越来越多的人开始意识到，创业不再必然需要庞大的团队、风险投资或企业背书。"People are gradually discovering that you don't have to join a major company or pursue fundraising and IPOs," she said. "One person can still build a decent business through their own skills and influence."“人们逐渐发现，不一定要加入大公司，也不一定要追求融资和上市，”她说，“一个人凭借自己的技能和影响力，同样可以打造一份体面的事业。”The content creator added that the rapid development of AI tools has become a major factor behind that shift.她补充道，AI工具的快速发展正是这一转变背后的主要推动力。"I do not need to hire copywriters, designers or video editors. AI has taken on these roles. That keeps the marginal cost of running my OPC extremely low and allows me to test new content directions or business models with very low risk," she said.“我不需要雇佣文案、设计师或视频剪辑师。AI承担了这些角色。这让我的‘一人公司'边际成本极低，也让我能够以极低的风险尝试新的内容方向或商业模式。”"The growing abundance, accessibility and usability of AI tools are key to one person becoming a team," said He Xia, a former chief engineer at the China Academy of Information and Communications Technology.中国信息通信研究院原总工程师何霞表示：“AI工具的日益丰富、易用和好用，是‘一个人成为一支队伍'的关键。”Current AI tools can cover functions from software development and daily searches to image generation and audio-video production, and AI agents such as OpenClaw are also lowering the coding threshold and bringing opportunities for entrepreneurs with little technical background, said He.何霞指出，当前AI工具已覆盖软件开发、日常搜索、图像生成、音视频制作等功能，而且，像OpenClaw这样的AI智能体还在降低编程门槛，为缺乏技术背景的创业者带来机遇。The trend is now reshaping China's entrepreneurial landscape. According to the China OPC development trends report (2025-30) released by the Zhongguancun Talent Association in February, the number of OPCs nationwide had exceeded 16 million by June 2025, accounting for 27.4 percent of all enterprises in China.这一趋势正在重塑中国的创业格局。根据中关村人才协会2026年2月发布的《中国一人公司发展研究报告（2025-2030）》，截至2025年6月，全国“一人公司”数量已超过1600万家，占中国企业总数的27.4%。In the first half of 2025 alone, China registered 2.86 million new OPCs, up 47 percent year-on-year and accounting for nearly a quarter of all newly registered businesses.仅2025年上半年，全国就新注册了286万家“一人公司”，同比增长47%，占同期新注册企业总数的近四分之一。Still, analysts also cautioned that AI alone cannot guarantee long-term business success.不过，专家亦提醒，仅凭AI并不能保证企业长期成功。"Many people focus only on AI's impact on productivity while overlooking that in the 'human plus AI' model, the human remains the core competitive factor," said Zhou Guangsu, a professor at Renmin University of China's school of labor and human resources.中国人民大学劳动人事学院教授周广肃表示：“许多人只关注AI对生产力的影响，却忽略了在‘人+AI'的模式中，人仍然是核心的竞争因素。”Zhou said that while AI can help entrepreneurs rapidly build products and applications, commercialization still depends heavily on business judgment, market insight and resilience under pressure.周广肃指出，虽然AI能帮助创业者快速构建产品和应用，但商业化仍然很大程度上依赖于商业判断力、市场洞察力以及抗压能力。Pan Helin, a member of the Ministry of Industry and Information Technology's Expert Committee for Information and Communication Economy, said OPCs should not become a purely symbolic trend.工业和信息化部信息通信经济专家委员会委员盘和林表示，“一人公司”不应沦为纯粹的符号化趋势。"What matters is substance over form," Pan said, adding that lowering transaction costs, improving the business environment and strengthening talent-support policies will be key to the sector's sustainable development.盘和林强调，关键在于“实质重于形式”。他补充道，降低交易成本、改善营商环境、强化人才支持政策，是这一业态可持续发展的关键。expertise /ˌekspɜːˈtiːz/专长，专业技能lean business /liːn ˈbɪznɪs/轻量化商业模式cost-effective /kɒst ɪˈfektɪv/高性价比的，划算的entrepreneurial landscape /ˌɒntrəprəˈnɜːriəl ˈlændskeɪp/创业格局

In this FYF episode, Lesley Logan delivers a list of ready-made responses for the moments when family, friends, or strangers say something offensive, intrusive, or just plain uncomfortable. She also celebrates a community win from a new Mat Pilates teacher trainee, and shares her own win about protecting her Intellectual Property after discovering AI-generated theft of her images. With a grounded mantra to close, this episode is a reminder that setting boundaries is an act of self-respect. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:How to respond when someone says something offensive in real time.Lines to use when family pushes politics you don't want to discuss.What to say when comments about your body won't stop.Boundary scripts for unwanted dating, family, or finance questions.How Lesley handled AI-generated theft of her images and brand.Episode References/Links:the Skimm' (@theskimm) - https://beitpod.com/theskimmSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  It's Fuck Yeah Friday. Brad Crowell 0:01  Fuck yeah. Lesley Logan 0:02  Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:48  Hello, Be It babe. Welcome to your mid month of May. FYF, it's our third of five Fridays. So we have a lot of May, May celebrations, which means that you have five chances of May to find something to celebrate, something to send in, something to remind yourself you're doing a great job. You are and you're on your way to being it till you see it and you're doing yourself a great job. So this thing that inspired me that I'm sharing with you, okay, here's the deal. It is quite possible that I shared it last fall, and if I didn't, I fucked up, and I'm sharing it with you now, because it does say how to set boundaries of family this Thanksgiving, if they say something offensive, but honestly, like because this world continues to be in a shit hole, and people around me that I like thought agreed with me on a lot of things, sometimes say things and I'm like, whoa, that's fucking offensive. I thought maybe we need a reshare. So if you need a reminder of this, here's what it is. So if someone says something offensive, doesn't have to be Thanksgiving, it can just be around you. What an odd thing to say out loud. I feel uncomfortable with the statement you just made. I don't get it. Can you explain that one? Wow. I'm not sure how to respond. That was an unkind thing to say. That's an inside thought. And so I like those. I think these are great, like, it's like, you, at least, can respond, and it maybe makes them think, if it doesn't. So if it's politics you want to avoid, then you can say, this isn't a conversation I like to have right now. Or you can say, I have a lot of thoughts in the state of the country, but I'd rather share them another time. You can also say I won't be engaged in talk about politics if we can't stick to other topics, I'll take a break from the table. That one's a little more confrontational. I'm not willing to be badgered right now, so I'm going to walk away and do all of those things. Remember, we are the five, we are like the people we hang out with. If comments about food or your body won't stop. So this is important because I really do believe that like stop commenting on women's bodies. We just fucking need to. It makes me feel uncomfortable when you talk about my body. So I'm going to end this here. I'm really trying to have a better relationship with myself this year, I'm going to ask that you not comment on my looks. I'm listening to my body and what it craves right now, let's focus on something else, rather than my plate. I thought we were past talking about people's weight in 2025. So I think that that's, you know I know that can sound like, oh my god, I'm gonna make them uncomfortable. Yeah, they're making you feel uncomfortable. We have to get good at making people who make us feel uncomfortable feel uncomfortable too. If your relationship status family planning is the unwanted subject, honestly, I would love to chat with you about blank rather than my dating life. I like to keep that private right now, I might not be engaged, but I have blank going on that I'm happy to talk about, instead. Kids aren't in my equation right now, I'd rather work on expanding my family when I'm ready. So those are all and I think you can like, you can change those to like fit your situation. But I do think like giving them something else to bring up is also fine, but like letting people know I want to talk about that, it's all, boundaries are kind, and if they're commenting on your finances, well fuck them. But you can say, if you're trying to help, I could use some advice on blank otherwise I'm good. So give them a thing that you want to talk about. Rather than getting all this unsolicited advice. I'm doing my best in a stressful economy. I'm managing my finances well and making progress towards my goals. That's all you need to know. And then if the question just fills what's the last one? If the question feels personal, a little too personal, this isn't something I want to talk about right now. That's a sensitive topic for me, let's talk about something else. Actually, I've been wanting to ask you about blank how's that going? So that one, you know that one might be a little spicy, but I hope these help. Feel free to look at the transcripts of this podcast, copy and paste it, put in your notes, easy to text to people who ask uncomfortable things or say, I'm you know. You just pull it up like, you know, you'll get better at it. But it's important, we have to have these things at the ready, because sometimes we're like, oh my god, I don't know what to say and they just, like, said something awful. Lesley Logan 4:49  Now for the wins. I, you know Be It babe, I got your back on these things. The win that I'm gonna share today is from CAGoodfellow, hi, Lesley. I've now started my class, Go Mat Pilates Teacher Training Course. I know this person, and this is a huge deal. So happy for you. I'm so happy for you. Give me a post on how it's going. Lesley Logan 5:10  All right, my win, and then I'll get you a mantra and get you on your way. So I found out that someone used AI to steal my images and write a shitty book. And I was like, oh my god, this is, like, so annoying. It's gonna take so long. And the team went to action, and Amazon took the book down in like, no time at all. We put it up there, proved that it was ours, our images, and they took it down. And when telling people about this shitty thing, I found out that other people were using my images, which like, you think, oh my god, that's gonna be so terrible. Yeah, it sucks. It feels violating in weird ways. I mean, like, it feels weird to even use that word violating, because it's like, is it? But like, it it is. And people are like, oh, don't let this take up your amazing energy. Here's the deal. You have to protect your IP so it does have to take some energy. But I'm really proud of how I've been able to trust the team to find a new system and to put in place to to take care of this situation, and it not keep me up at night, but we are taking action, legal actions, where, where we can. But I didn't let it like derail the goals I had that week. I was like, okay, this is happening. What can we do? What are our steps? What's our first step of action and and then work on from that, I it's just really, it's really nice not to like, end up in a puddle of like, woe is me. Now I've got to do this, too. And in asking for help, I got to see how many of you are like, here to support the work that we're doing, and you understand what that means. And because of you, we're finding out the images that are being used that are like in hidden places a little harder, and I'm so grateful. So if you see images of me, they're not on my flash cards and they're not my posters, most likely I did not give them permission to use them, so just send it, and if I did, I'll let you know. Lesley Logan 6:56  All right, your mantra is, each part of me is worthy of love, each part of me is worthy of love. Each part of you is worthy of love, Be It babe. Thanks so much for being here. Until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 7:13  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 7:55  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 8:00  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 8:05  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 8:12  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 8:15  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell sit down to unpack their favorite moments from Dr. Corey Winn, doctor of physical therapy turned women's business coach who pointed out the things keeping high-achieving women stuck. In this recap, they get honest about the patterns that quietly hold smart, capable women back, and what it actually takes to break them. If you've been doing all the right things and it still doesn't feel like enough, this one's for you.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co .And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Why high-achieving women struggle to feel worthy of their own success.How "I don't have time" is often hiding your real obstacle.Why you must actively curate who's in your inner circle.How to build a schedule that doesn't burn you out.How to use your calendar to protect at least one daily joy.Episode References/Links:Nevada SPCA – https://nevadaspca.orgeLevate Mentorship Program – https://lesleylogan.co/elevateOPC Spring Training – https://opc.me/eventsOPC Summer Tour Waitlist – https://opc.me/tourDr. Corey Winn's Website – https://www.coreywinn.comThe Carl Edward Foundation - https://www.thecarledwardfoundation.orgEp. 5 ft. Amy Ledin - https://beitpod.com/ep5Ep. 185 with Dai Manuel - https://beitpod.com/ep185Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  To be honest, if you're waiting for someone else to say you're worthy, that's the problem. Like, I think everybody's waiting for outside indicators that they are worthy. You actually are born worthy. The fact that you're here is why you're worthy. Like every single person on this planet was born to make an impact on this planet, so you were already worthy. Lesley Logan 0:18  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:57  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the purpose-driven convo I had with Dr Corey Winn in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now. Go back and listen to it. It's in the lineup, or we'll give you a bunch of spoilers, which will make you go, oh, I need to go. It's like the Cliff Notes. What's that book? What's that app that like, read the books in 15 minutes, and then you could go read them if you wanted. they don't sponsor the show, but it's like that. Brad Crowell 1:22  Yeah, I can't remember what that's called. Lesley Logan 1:28  What people get what I'm saying. It's okay. We don't need to sponsor it. Okay. So today, if you were with us two weeks ago, you've like, now you probably know I am reading this blind. I have no idea. Haha god, I just thought Brad had us do FAFO in sign language, and he just did it. So if you're watching on YouTube, and you know sign language, let us know how you did. So I read these blind. So here we go. Today is May 14th 2026 and it's Bond With Your Dog Day. You know, I actually think this is Bayon's anniversary. They said he was three months old, and so we went back three months and that's February, the 14th, and we're like, great, you're a Valentine's Day baby, like. Brad Crowell 2:14  You might be right. You might be right.Lesley Logan 2:15  Happy 10 years with us Bayon. Okay, so on this day, pet parents and their beloved dogs spend some extra quality time together. Every dog owner can vouch for how affectionate and loyal their dogs are, in almost every case, they are right. However, on Bond With Your Dog Day, it's time to show your beloved friend how much you love and care for them. The day is celebrated with a host of activities and find new ways to connect with your dogs. Happy Bond With Your Dog Day to you and your dogs, and if you don't have one go to a shelter and read to one, spend some time with one. Learn, if you're in Vegas, it's too late to get the dog walking privileges at SPCA until the fall. But like, go do it. I am obsessed with walking dogs at the SPCA. It is so hard for me. It's so hard for me to leave them. I like, have a really hard time. I literally can do three and I have to go because then I start to get really, I'm like, I have to walk all of them if I do anymore. But it really, it, it will bring so much joy to your life. They have so much unconditional love. Some of them are so scared, and they just, they just take some warming up too. And some of them are like, get me out of here. I don't you are amazing. I'm with you.Lesley Logan 3:01  Well, who do we want to feature today? Because I think we should do this. How about Miss Coco? Lesley Logan 3:19  Well, hopefully Miss Coco is not at the SPCA in May 17th babe, because she is there right now. So we can't feature any of them, or Sadie. Love Sadie. Brad Crowell 3:29  We're gonna feature her anyway. Lesley Logan 3:30  Well, yeah, we'll feature them and hope they better be adopted, guys, don't let me I, here's a problem. We are recording this before I go to Europe the day before, and I told Brad, when we come back, if those two girls are still at the shelter, we have to figure out if we can foster them together. I don't know what we're gonna do. We have a retreat coming here. We have eLevate coming here, but like, we gotta get those girls out of out of there.Brad Crowell 3:51  So I'm gonna read her profile. So Miss Coco is a Terrier. She's an American Stafford Terrier, Bulldog. She's an American Bully, and she is like, shorty a little bit squat, and she's so cute.Lesley Logan 4:03  She she's more squat than August was. Brad Crowell 4:05  Yeah, she's almost five years old. She's about 65 pounds, and she is female. She. Hi, I'm Miss Coco. I'm known for my friendly and sweet nature. I love spending time with people, and I'm always ready for a cuddle or playtime. I do need some special care for my skin and allergies, but I promise I'm worth it. I'm looking for a forever home where I can share all my love and joy. I have past experience with other dogs and older kids. Adopting me means gaining a loyal friend who will always be there to brighten your day. Let's make wonderful memories together. And you've walked her.  Lesley Logan 4:29  I mean this girl, I've walked her twice. Walk is a strong word. We went outside, we smelled the roses, and we sat down, and she just got in my lap at all, all those pounds of her, and just wanted me to pet her like she just wants to lay on your couch. So if you're someone who, like, needs a little bit routine in your life, but doesn't really want to commit to, like, long dog walks, like I do, she doesn't want them. She just wants to be on your couch with you. Just wants to be held. And by the way, her skin stuff, I walked her, she's got, like, dried, like, dandruff. Like, it was not a big deal.Brad Crowell 5:04  So like, and I bet, like, with the right, you know, food types.Lesley Logan 5:08  They have her on a special food thing. So I didn't even notice it the second week, a week later. So, like, I think she's great. I also, like, don't be afraid of those older dog. And even if she's not there. Brad Crowell 5:16  She's not very far yet. Lesley Logan 5:17  Look at between four and six, like, a lot of times. Like, she so she's what's called the potty dog. Means she will not pee in her kennel. Will not she will hold it from the time they walk her at the last night for the next morning, that is like, 12 hours, like, so maybe it's a little less than that, but still, like. Brad Crowell 5:39  Well, they close at six and open at six. Lesley Logan 5:39  Yeah, I get yeah. So anyways, yeah. So definitely take a look at her. But I just mean, like, from dogs four to five, there's, like, something special about them. They are out of the puppy stage. They're still very trainable. They still have a lot of life in them. So now, Sadie, can we read Sadie? Brad Crowell 5:50  Only one at a time. We're doing one at a time.Lesley Logan 5:52  Ah, okay. Are we adding this to every show? Brad Crowell 5:54  We might, maybe we will. You tell us if you want us to feature a dog, but. Lesley Logan 5:58  So here's the thing I wonder, like, but if they're not there, will people go and get a different one? Brad Crowell 6:03  Well, here's the reality. We are obviously in Nevada. We're in Las Vegas specifically, and we're specifically talking about dogs that are at the Nevada SPCA. So if that is not applicable to you, which I imagine that's the majority of you, then just look up an SPCA near you.Lesley Logan 6:17  Yeah, they don't take government like the local ones do not take any government funding. They're always locally funded. They're no kill, and they're pristine. How they take care of these dogs, our SPCA has chinchillas, they have a family of chinchillas, there's bunnies. Brad Crowell 6:31  There's like all the things. Lesley Logan 6:33  But you can't. If you can't, if you tell me, I can't have a pet, then guess what you get to be, a volunteer, where you go, and you can literally just sit with you can pick up a pet and just hold it. They have rooms where you can, just, like, play with these animals. And guess what? You can just do it on Fridays. You could do it on Tuesdays, like, you get all the pet love you need. And like, not.Brad Crowell 6:54  Unless he's been walking the dogs in the morning. Once a week, thrice a week, sometimes.Lesley Logan 6:58  I would love to go more, but to be honest, it is, I mean, I work from home, so it is never on the way to anything, but I it means the world to me. And we, if you're an OPC member or you purchase anything at OPC, a percentage of all of our profits goes to our local SPCA. And I used to, we used to try to do international charities. I'm gonna be honest, the money doesn't actually do anything. So we went local, and it's really fun to see how the money makes it go. So here's the other thing, if you have a dog, I can't imagine you don't already bond with your dog, but if you need an excuse to call out sick today, today, here it is, oh, it's I gotta bond with my dog day.Brad Crowell 7:34  All right. Well, here's what's coming up for us. We are quickly filling Lesley's eLevate mentorship program for 2027 at this point, there might only be a few spots left. So if you're interested in what that even is, it's a nine-month Pilates mentorship with Lesley. Go to lesleylogan.co/elevate.Lesley Logan 7:52  Yeah, we actually, just like we came home, did a retreat with our eLevate grads, did the Cadillac weekend for eLevate. So it's been an eLevate season, and it's so fun. And we're currently in the week of spring training. Brad Crowell 7:56  Yeah, it's happening literally right now. Lesley Logan 8:01  And you can still join because the limited replays last for a whole week, so like, there's still time. So go to opc.me/events, because it's great. It's fun. It's fun to be in a community. It's fun to learn one theme when it comes to Pilates. It's fun to see what, what connections you can get. You always have an aha moment with OPC, so you should do it.Brad Crowell 8:23  Yeah. And we're about to announce the summer tour, so get yourself on the waitlist so you can get those tickets. Go to opc.me/tour, opc.me/tour, and we'll be going in August this year. We're going to be going straight across the middle of the country and then looping back through North Texas and then down into a little bit, down into Arizona. Yeah. Anyway, go, go check those out. Come join us. If the tickets aren't announced just yet, they're going to be announced any day now.Lesley Logan 8:48  Just so you know, the spots we're going in August, we're not going in December. That's how it works. Brad Crowell 8:54  Yeah, we're intentionally trying to find new cities along the way, so we'll be in like, places like Knoxville. We never been there before, so I'm excited. Brad Crowell 9:02  Anyway, we had a question this week, and anonymous is asking, I know that you do strength training, Pilates and sometimes yoga. I also do these three modalities, and I also run, but it becomes a lot. I'm trying to find the balance between all of those movement modalities throughout the week, I'm curious if you've got a schedule that works personally for you.Lesley Logan 9:23  So here's the actual schedule. So Sunday mornings, I weight train and do a little Pilates. Mondays, I do some personal Pilates in the morning, but we work out at night. We do weight train at night. Tuesdays, is Pilates, some yoga and some zone two, but they're all separate. I do morning Pilates and yoga, and then zone two in the afternoon. Wednesdays, it's just weight training at night. Thursdays is like Tuesdays, except for it's weight train instead of running. And Fridays is weight training and a little Pilates, like what my body still needs after a whole week. Saturday, I do nothing. I have a whole day of rest. I like Saturday. Sometimes I do a little most of the time, I do a little sauna blanket time. It sounds like a lot. I don't have children so.Brad Crowell 10:13  But effectively, you know, you're doing some intentional movement six days a week. Lesley Logan 10:17  But also, and you should. And the other thing is, is like the way I do Pilates and yoga is not these high intensity cortisol, chaotic things.Brad Crowell 10:26  You're not going to a hot yoga room and sweating yourself to death and all the things. Lesley Logan 10:30  No, sometimes my whoop band doesn't even think I did anything when it comes to yoga, unless I did some like handstand hiccups and my Pilates, it catches it, for sure. But like when I do Pilates Tuesdays and Thursdays, it's a full hour. The rest of the time when I do Pilates, I start with, I just tell myself 15 minutes, and if I have time to if I get more curiosity, I'll do 30. But it's rarely more than 30, so it's so I'm not doing like, three hours of workouts every day. We're talking between 90 minutes and two hours between all of the things I just said each day, and they're spaced out so that I can feel myself, so I can have some energy, so that I can sleep at night, because I'm 43 and sleep is hard for me. So all that, but it, I will also say another caveat to all this is, the only thing that I am creating for myself, workout wise, is the Pilates. Like, that's the only and I use an order because I'm a classical teacher, so like my mat and Reformer, they have an order. And then the rest of the stuff is like, oh, what does my body need? What connections do I need? I am not coming up with my weight training schedule. I am not coming up with my yoga thing. I I do invest in those things. I have a trainer who I can talk to and like, thank God for her, because there's days I don't want to do it, and because I paid for it, I go do it. So I will just say it is a lot. I don't think everyone should do what I do.Brad Crowell 11:45  Let's go back to the actual question. You know, have you found a schedule that works for you personally? Lesley Logan 11:50  Well, yeah, I just yeah, I have, but I was just saying, like, I, I think one of the things you have to do is, first of all, at least one or two cannot be designed by you, like somebody else with that expertise should be doing it. I also don't go to a yoga studio for my yoga. I don't go to a Pilates studio for my Pilates like that, I think also affects the ability for it to be easy. As an ADHD person like I have to drive there, park my car and go do it. Sometimes that's too much. So for me, I do have luxury of doing my yoga is in real time. It's just on Zoom. So I love that. I put I make sure it's in gallery view so I can see everyone. I feel like I'm part of the thing, but I don't have to go anywhere like between class. And my next thing is, I fold my mat up and I move on to the next thing. So I think what I would suggest for this person, anyone else, it's like, what are the things you could do, either at home or at your job. How can you make it so you're not losing time going to things all the time? That's where OPC really helps out. Like, maybe you go to a studio once a week for equipment, but you do mat two or three times at home. Like, how can you make it so or you are at the gym doing your weight training, then you do your mat at the end, right? Because that's a 30-minute or less workout. It's really great. At the end, after weight training, it will, like, open everything up. And if you hate just laying there stretching, it's not that Pilates is stretching, but you get what I mean, like, it's a really good counter balance to it. So my suggestion to you is, like, one, it doesn't have the all or nothing. Two, get experts to design things for you that you're not an expert in. And then three, how can you shave the travel time off on some of these things? Because I don't think that everything has to be an hour all the time, but that's how businesses pay people, and they pay them by the hour. So that's why your sessions are 50 minutes. And that doesn't mean it's necessarily but you need all of those minutes.Brad Crowell 13:37  That's true. Great, great question. Thanks. If you have a question, feel free to reach out on any way you want, but we prefer, beitpod.com/questions where you can leave us both a win or a question. You can also text us 310-905-5534. Stick around. We'll be right back. We're going to start chatting about Dr Corey Winn. Brad Crowell 13:55  All right. Dr Winn is a doctor of physical therapy and with 15 years of experience specializing in wheelchair seating and mobility, drawing from her uncle's experience with spinal cord injury, she founded the Carl Edward Foundation, which is a nonprofit serving people with spinal cord injuries and progressive neurological diseases. In addition to her clinical and nonprofit roles, she runs a women's coaching and consulting practice supporting women as they build their businesses and creating lasting legacies as entrepreneurs, her coaching focuses on helping high achieving women move beyond questioning their value, so they can stop settling for less than what they actually want.Lesley Logan 14:36  So I mean, Corey is a great listen, you guys, because she she's had non-linear like job changes that have put her where she is right now. And I think what we all need to hear is that that's kind of how life goes. We were talking about her like switching from the this full time job that she went to school for for so long and spent so much money to switching to health coaching, which is that led her into actually the coaching that she does today. And she was talking about how, like, if the clients did not feel worthy of taking care of themselves, it didn't matter what plan she gave them, like it did. Like these are already highest achieving, amazing women who know how to do follow a plan, they know how to check boxes, they know how to do, to follow directions, and they couldn't because they just didn't feel worthy of it. And I think that's really eye-opening thing for us to think about, because if you do have like the trainers, or you do have the coaches, or you have invested in the in the guides, but you're not doing the thing it, it may be worth just reviewing. If you feel like you're worthy of the thing that comes from that, you might not be feeling that way yet. So I thought that was really cool what we talked about, because we, I do think a lot of high-achieving women often wonder, like she said, who am I to do that? And it stops their progress. And so we, true success and whatever you want to do requires a mindset shift, where women embody the thoughts and desires and beliefs of who you want to become, right? Like I thought that was a really powerful thing to think about.Brad Crowell 16:02  Yeah. Well, you were also talking about, how did she effectively leave her job right, and then, like, being a doctor and being focused on, like, her specialty, with working with people in wheelchairs, how does she then coach people right? And that's where she was talking about this, you know, mindset, the the second guessing yourself. Right? So she, she was talking about that worthiness, and how do you know? How do you know that you're like, how do we get to the point where we feel worthy? Well, I'm asking you, How do we get to the point where we feel worthy? Lesley Logan 16:38  To be honest, if you're waiting for someone else to say you're worthy. That's the problem. Like, I think everybody's waiting for outside indicators that they are worthy. You actually are born worthy. The fact that you're here is why you're worthy. Like every single person on this planet was born to make an impact on this planet, so you're already worthy. In fact, the problem is a bunch of fucking assholes out in the world who have shown through example that they are unworthy are the ones going out there with so much confidence in a mic that we go, go, oh my god, well, I'm not them, so I'm, no, you're born worthy.Brad Crowell 17:11  You're or they're judging from the sidelines and making people feel not worthy. You know, I think you're right, and also, too, it's funny because you two are mentioning it, you know, the more we're in the room, like coaching with other people and seeing, you know, big businesses, and realizing, oh, they're struggling with similar things that we're struggling with, just on a different scale, or maybe they're in a different point in the journey. But like, we might have this presentation that we have it all together, but we're all still figuring shit out, too, you know.Lesley Logan 17:40  I'll be honest. The who am I to do that is definitely something I resonate with. And then the few times, this many times we've been in rooms with other businesses who, like, flaunt these amazing numbers. Like, oh, our own launch was this many figures. And then you start to realize that the profit after what they spent to get that money is, like, so ridiculous. You're like, so you're making.Lesley Logan 18:01  They spend $1,000 on ads.Lesley Logan 18:02  So, like, I spent only 500 and I, like, made 30, and I'm but you're like, I made six 100,000 but you spent 90, like, I made more money than you. Why am so I remember always thinking, like, having imposters in those rooms. And then after a few of those times here, and I was like, I fucking a better business person than these people. These people just throw money at problems to feel like, to be able to have numbers, they can say at the end to say that they're worthy. But I'm worthy because I'm actually making the impact on a very small budget. And so I think it but that came from me. I had to observe and then like, integrate and like, and almost get a little angry and do that. I think that too many people are waiting for someone to come and deem them ready to be successful, and now you've you've now made it. You've been knighted worthy. No, I think if more, especially women who listen this podcast and the few good men, if more people actually thought they were worthy, we would not be in the muck we are in because too many people who are not worthy are just walking around with confidence.Brad Crowell 18:49  Well, I really loved when she was talking about time being an excuse. And this is this was tough. This one hit home for me, because we have this intention that we like to, you know, that we are going to do something, and then we don't make time for it. And the two of you were talking about the if you want a shopping spree to your favorite store, you would make time for it. You would totally figure it out and make time for it. So when we put it in that kind of context, do we, are we actually making time for the things that we say that we want, or are we making time for the things that we want? Right? So like there's and there's two different things there.Lesley Logan 19:40  Yeah. Well, here's the thing. I'll just give an example, and I, I've been struggling with way to post this on Instagram because I don't want it to come off arrogant. But you guys know me well, so we're gonna talk about it. So in the last two weeks of recording this podcast, so not now. Everything is fine today, but in the last two weeks, we found out multiple different people were using my image and the team had to do extra work to deal with that. Then we had our websites down for five days. All of them, I had to watch 48 20-minute videos and write notes, and then have 26 20-minute calls, it all took 30, on top of all the work I do, the YouTube videos, all the things, you guys, I missed zero workouts, not one, zero. So that's not a flex. It's because those things, the Pilates session, specifically, those those movement practices, they are the reason I can do all this stuff. And so I will, I will never say, oh, I don't have time to go work out. I don't have time for that? No, the other stuff is what I will have to fit in and find time, or find ways to delegate, or figure out if that's a problem I have to deal with right now. But like, I'm not if I were to go, oh, this is a shitty week. The websites are offline. I can't work out because I got to do this. That is terrible, like that, that's too easy. So I do think that if you keep saying I don't have time, enough time, I would definitely look at your schedule, because you're, you're using your time is being spent on something you don't, that doesn't you don't want it to matter so much. Brad Crowell 21:10  Yeah, yeah, or, you know, I think, I think, though, you know, it's tough if you have a family, or like, kids or responsibilities in that way. I understand, I understand that. But there's also, you know, when it comes to that it's important that they understand how you value your time, too, and you you know that is something that can be a learning opportunity for them. Lesley Logan 21:33  Exactly. Amy Ledin, either episode three, no, she was episode five, episode five, and then we've had her on again, I think at least twice. So here's the deal. Actually said actions are caught, not taught. She said it multiple times. She really believes it.Brad Crowell 21:46  Five and 610. Lesley Logan 21:47  If you want your kids off their screens, they can do Pilates with you. If you can go on a family walk, you can't like if they see you practicing prioritization of the things you say matter, that means a lot to them. And I really do think that there is, I mean, obviously infants are a different story, but there and there is things you can do. There's also hopefully, of a partner, we can say, hey, it would mean a lot to me if I could get 20 minutes. You don't need a full hour, 20 minutes to do this thing that I said I wanted to do. These are the things that are really important to me. I need to find, can we sit down with the family calendar and find these times? Like, how can you get the family involved? I really want to write a book, right? So that's not me, but say maybe that's you. Maybe you want to write a book. Maybe you want to work on a thing. Hey guys, it would mean a lot. We had Stephanie at the Mullet Tour. She's like, I'm so jealous of your morning walks. I want to go on a morning walk. I found how old her kids were, and I said, So can't, are they incapable of making their own lunches? Like, yeah, it's a lot. I'm like, why don't you ask them, hey guys, it would mean a lot to me if before lot to me if, before I take you to school, I get to do a morning walk. Next day, next day. She texted me, I'm on my morning walk. They handled it. So I just think that sometimes we, yes, time with when you have kids and other and also, like some women have aging parents that they're also taking care of, time, there's always an excuse for not having time, but sometimes we're we also we get into a habit of not having time, and so we can't get out of that habit of not having time. And maybe you're in a season where you actually could make time for something important to you.Brad Crowell 23:15  Yeah, she, you know she's talking about when we use the excuse that we're blaming a lack of time. We're actually hiding the true obstacle. Now she are just to get underneath the excuse and ask, what? What is the real issue here? Is it fear, right? Is it like, how can we take radical responsibility for our time? How can we, how can we actually like, because otherwise we are being disingenuous with ourselves. We're lying to ourselves effectively, right? Like I am. I'm gonna do this thing and then we don't do this thing. And she said it might involve burning your calendar down and starting over. So she pointed out that people, they use seemingly positive or productive tasks as excuses. Oh my gosh. I just had so much work to do. You know? I didn't get a chance to go to do the thing, whatever the thing is, right? Or I'm planning to plan, or she, she said that maybe you're planning to plan, you know, like, you know, ultimately, but ultimately, making time for what actually matters requires that you take responsibility and stop stalling. You know, do I want to waffle in this, or do I want to move forward?Lesley Logan 24:19  Yeah, yeah. I think I also, I think getting on it all this is also just like saying, like, getting honest with yourself, if you honestly don't have time because you have young kids, you're taking care of, you are a single parent, you're also have an agent. Like, then we have to ask, okay, how do we get the community support? Because that's too much for any person. That's so much, and I'm not saying you have to find five hours, but like, let's how we get some little snacks to fill your cup so you feel worthy, you know, but I think I love burning down a calendar. I love starting over.Lesley Logan 24:49  Well, stick around. We might talk a little bit more about burning down calendars when we get back. Brad Crowell 24:49  All right, finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Dr Corey Wynn? She said, invest in yourself. Invest in a community of other women who are going places that you are also going, and it's important to to make that investment with people who will hold space for your dreams. You know, you were talking about, how do we how do we push pause on family or friends who aren't supportive and, you know, can't get rid of them, but, like, don't really want to get rid of them, but like, definitely they're clearly not the support system. That's where we came in this investing with ourselves. She said, inevitably, you become the reflection of the five people you spend the most time with.Lesley Logan 25:39  That that, I know we all hear that cliche. It's so fucking true. It is the most true thing. Because if you are around people who are wanting to learn and wanting to grow and wanting to think they're even if you don't, aren't contributing to that conversation you are hearing about the things they're doing, it's very inspirational. You can feel your vibes change when you hang out with different people, like I don't even hang out with like, eyores anymore, because, like, I don't even have an eyore in my life. Because, like, you know, so, yeah. Brad Crowell 26:07  Yeah. She said, you must actively and carefully curate your inner circle, you know, surround yourself with people who fill the roles of cheerleader, bruiser, a mentor, a coach, right? And also a mentee. I'm not opposed to a mentee, someone that you can you know, support.Lesley Logan 26:24  Well, that's a plus minus equals that I talk about all the time, and I attribute to someone who we can't figure out when he said it, but. Brad Crowell 26:26  And it doesn't necessarily have to be in person, you know, like virtual communities are something you can be a part of. We recommend OPC.Lesley Logan 26:37  I think OPC is a great one. We have some great, oh my gosh, just like Heidi and Jasmine and some other amazing people, Hope, like Cassie, Laurie can't well, now I'm naming people, I might forget someone, I'm so sorry. Your name was said, but, like, but I'm thinking of these people who, like, they go into the community and they're like, I didn't have time today, and I I'm so proud because I did it, because I am worthy of doing this.Brad Crowell 27:03  Or I did five minutes. Yeah, I love it. Well, what about you? What's your biggest takeaway?Lesley Logan 27:09  So she said, look at your calendar every single morning, ensure that at least one thing scheduled it that brings you joy.Brad Crowell 27:15  Oh, yeah, I really like this.Lesley Logan 27:16  I mean, that is like, if you're like, oh my god, I'm may have to burn my calendar down. Nope. We're just gonna say there should be one thing scheduled that brings you joy. I'm thinking of, oh my god, his name was very interesting. I think I started with a D. He had that 2% situation, which is like. Brad Crowell 27:33  Oh, right, 2% of your day. It's only 30 minutes.Lesley Logan 27:34  Yeah. So, like, 20 minutes of movement, 10 minutes of reading, and five (inaudible). No, it's like dol may del rey karate, del, now you're listening on real time how my brain works. Canadian, 2% 2% of your day. Like, definitely, that was the episode. El. Brad Crowell 27:58  Okay, we found it. Dai Manuel.Lesley Logan 28:01  Dai Manuel I was so close, (inaudible) like. Brad Crowell 28:04  Not even close. Lesley Logan 28:06  Oh my god. Anyways, but he, goal is not episode. Brad Crowell 28:06  185, episode 185. Lesley Logan 28:07  I said it, under 200 episodes. Oh, one. So he talked about the 2% of your day, and he gives you like a Be It Action Item, and I think that that goes in line with like, something that brings you joy, that you're not checklisting, that like actually makes you feel good about yourself. And it can be as small as five minutes, but it has to be something you're looking forward to, something that brings you joy. So maybe, if you don't know what to do, write down a bunch of things you think could bring you joy and give it a try. And she definitely, she said, it might take a little bit time to figure out what that is. So give yourself grace. Grace, Be It babes, Grace. Oh my gosh. We give grace to strangers before we give it to ourselves. So like, please, by all means, give it to yourself. All right, I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell 28:52  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 28:52  Thanks so much for joining us today until next time go Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 28:53  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 28:53  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 29:36  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 29:41  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 29:46  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 29:53  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 29:56  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Brad Crowell 30:10  Okay, this is episode 608 just kidding. Episode 680 Dr Corey Winn. Lesley Logan 30:18  He's making fun of me now. Brad Crowell 30:20  I was teasing a little bit. All right, here we go.Lesley Logan 30:25  Another making fun of me again.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

When was the last time you looked at your calendar and felt joy? Lesley Logan sits down with Dr. Corey Winn — Doctor of Physical Therapy, Peak Performance Strategist, and host of Empower HER Radio — for a candid conversation on why high-achieving women keep stalling on the dreams they actually want. Corey shares why "I don't have time" is rarely the real issue and how to start building a life that actually fits you.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co .And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Recognize when the cost of staying is bigger than the fear of changing.The importance of making decisions from clarity, not from fear.Set boundaries with family who don't share your vision.Why you need to surround yourself with the right five people.How to take responsibility for how you spend your time.Episode References/Links:Empower HER Radio with Dr. Corey Winn (Podcast) – https://beitpod.com/empoweherradioThe Carl Edward Foundation - https://www.thecarledwardfoundation.orgDr. Corey Winn's Website – https://www.coreywinn.comDr. Corey Winn's Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/coreywinndptDr. Corey Winn's LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/coreywinnDr. Corey Winn's YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/@coreywinndptFree discovery call with Dr. Corey Winn – https://www.coreywinn.com/freecallSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questionsGuest Bio:Dr. Corey Winn is a powerhouse leader, entrepreneur, and philanthropist dedicated to empowering high-achieving women, building lasting legacies, and transforming lives through philanthropy. As a Doctor of Physical Therapy, visionary business coach, and She Sells consultant, she has mastered the art of wealth creation, personal transformation, and high-impact leadership. Dr. Winn partners with SheSells and Super Human Selling to help elite women align their financial success with their soul's purpose, shifting them from burnout to effortless abundance. Through her dynamic coaching, speaking engagements, and consulting, she equips ambitious women with the strategies and confidence to step into their highest earning potential while leading with authenticity and impact. As the founder of The Carl Edward Foundation, Dr. Winn is on a mission to revolutionize support for patients facing spinal cord injuries and progressive neurological diseases. By bridging financial gaps and advocating for greater access to life-changing resources, her foundation provides hope, dignity, and opportunities for a better quality of life. A devoted wife and mother, Dr. Winn exemplifies how family, business, and philanthropy can coexist in perfect harmony. She is passionate about creating generational wealth, empowering women to break through barriers, and leaving a legacy of impact that extends beyond her lifetime. With a rapidly growing global audience, a thriving business, and a foundation making a measurable difference, Dr. Corey Winn is redefining what it means to be a woman of influence, wealth, and service. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! 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I could sit for hours and read. Is that moving the needle forward anything that I do? It might be filling my cup, but it's not moving my business forward. So it's also recognizing it might not be Doom scrolling social media. It might not be binge watching Netflix, it may be like, Oh, I should probably read for 30 minutes rather than two hours.Lesley Logan 0:26  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:05  All right, Be It babe, this one is totally for you. This is for my high-achieving women. This isn't for my women who have lots of things that they're wanting to do and struggling to find the systems to do it. This is for you. If you just want to, like, get a reminder of how to understand who you are, what you want, and how to get there. I'm so excited. Our guest is Dr Corey Winn, dear friend of mine, I've been on her amazing podcast. She's so smart, succinct. I mean, we could have talked for hours, but I also loved how she can get all the great information out in a way that you can use it, understand it, apply it. And I think you're really gonna love this. So here is Dr. Corey Winn. Lesley Logan 1:42  All right, Be It babe, I'm super excited today, because I had the most fun being on today's guest podcast, and we had such a great conversation. I was like, oh, we should just keep talking. So you should just come on over to my podcast. So, Corey Winn, thanks for being here. Can you tell everyone who you are and why you rock so much?Dr Corey Winn 1:58  Yes, I love it. So talking about being it I am, Dr Corey Winn, it took me a very long time to own that, but I am a physical therapist for the past 15 years, and I also have a women's coaching and consulting practice, working with women, building their businesses and leaving legacy as female entrepreneurs. So it's been an incredible journey and road, and here we are. Lesley Logan 2:22  Oh my gosh, yes. And also like, so wait a minute, are you like? Are you still doing physical therapy and you're doing all this stuff?Dr Corey Winn 2:30  I am. I have two very beautiful, but very different lanes, so I specialize in wheelchair seating and mobility. My uncle had a spinal cord injury, so I have a nonprofit that serves that population, and then I have my women's coaching and consulting practice, because I love female entrepreneurs. I'm never bored.Lesley Logan 2:50  That's that's true. And also, like, such different I like to go on lanes because, like, they are such different lanes. Okay, so, like, which came first? Was it the the doctor part, or the coaching part?Dr Corey Winn 3:00  Definitely the doctor part. So I've been a PT for 15 years, doctor of physical therapy. I actually tore my ACL in dance class, surprisingly enough, in high school, and decided I was going to go the PT route. So originally, I wanted to work with ABT or with women's basketball players, because I worked women's basketball in college, and then I found the life of neuro which really didn't surprise me, like I said, my uncle had a spinal cord injury, so I was around him and all of his wheelchairs my entire life, and really just began to love that realm of PT and focus really heavily in outpatient with Parkinson's disease. So that was that lane. But as many women and moms, the typical nine to five or eight to six and weekends and holidays really wasn't working, so pivoted and started my own coaching practice. And I still, like I said, I do PT, but I've worked my schedule around my kiddo in my life, so it's been really fun.Lesley Logan 3:59  That's so good. I love that. I love that well, also, like, we live in a different world now where I think, like, people are kind of used to that. And I always found, like, why is it? Why is everything like nine to five? How do people who are working nine to five get to anywhere? Like, why aren't there people who are like, oh, actually, we're like a, we're like, a 12 to seven kind of place, you know, like, what happened? So I think it's so cool that you get to do that. Okay, so, like, take us back, because, like, it's easy for us to go, like, look at you now, where you have, like, their two lanes, and they're distinct lanes, and they work around your schedule. But like, what was the middle like? What was it like trying to figure out like, I mean, you know, because I know a lot of people will listen to go they're doing something, but they're having this call to another thing. There's fear there. There's a lot of overwhelm. Also, it's not like the easiest thing you just go this is in this compartment, like there's a blend that has happening.Dr Corey Winn 4:48  Oh my gosh, I love that. Well, honestly, the first kind of nudge my daughter was six months old, and as I was getting ready for work one of the many mornings, she crawled across the bathroom floor for. First time. And I was like, oh my gosh, I'm so excited. Couldn't wait to tell her teacher at daycare dropped her off like you'll never guess what she did this morning. And I told her, and she looked at me, just dead panned, and said she did that yesterday, and walked away. And I looked at her, and I said, can you please not tell me those things? And she looked at me just very shocked, and I said, I already know I'm missing so much. Just let me believe. I don't need you to lie. Just let me believe that I thought. Lesley Logan 5:30  Or at the very least they should have told you that she did crawl like they're when you picked her up. Hey, she crawled today. Did you know she does that? Like, agree, since they missed out. They should just been like, oh my god, look at her. Like they should just kept it to themselves. There are white lies for a reason. Dr Corey Winn 5:46  Right. Yeah, same, Yep, absolutely. And I was just so crushed because I was like, oh my gosh, that is just blatantly obvious how much I'm missing. And so then it was like, well, what do I do? I was going to be in this lane. I was going to do this until I retired. I went to school for a long time. What do I do now? This doesn't work with my life. I'd love to say, oh, I pivoted and it was beautiful after that. No, I was scared to death, so I just said, okay, well, I can work, you know, less hours, that's where it started. But then fast forward, years later, I actually started as a health coach, more for my own health than anything else, but as I was coaching these women, I was realizing the issue isn't the program or the nutrition or the exercise plan or the whatever like those things are inherently easy to follow. Most women I work with are very high-achieving. They know how to check boxes. They know how to follow a plan. They can manage all the things, but if they didn't feel worthy of taking care of themselves, it didn't matter. So that was where I really pivoted and said, no, I'm working with women who are badasses, who are going for things and not settling for anything less. Yes, at one point they were burned out. Yes, at one point they were stressed, but now they've said, no, I've had this view, or I've had this product, or I've had this idea that I wanted to do with forever. I'm going for it. So that's how I ended up coaching.Lesley Logan 7:13  Yeah, I think there's like, always, like, a little thank you for taking us on the journey. Because, like, it's not like, you just like, land on the next thing. Like, most of us have little detours along the way, or or building blocks, or going like, oh, I think this is a thing. But it's like, wait a minute, this, this is not their problem. And also, with the way the world is going today, like, anyone can just download a health thing, and also most people, unfortunately, are just going to just get shot. So it's like, okay, great. But then now that you've done that, like, what's the actual root issue of the thing. So can you describe, like, how? Because I imagine, like, I imagine the way you're coaching them is also like, going to be it till you see it kind of way. It's like, there's, there's got to be some sort of acting as if they're ready. So how does that look? What does that look like?Dr Corey Winn 7:59  Well, in so many women, and I'm sure you do this, you, all of us, every high-achieving woman I've ever worked with has questioned their value, questioned their worth, questioned their expertise. Who am I to do that, that, that stopped me for years. So it's one, getting huge clarity on what you want. So often, the women I work with, nobody's asked them what they want for years because they're married, they have kids, they have a job, they're holding all the things together, so it's what you want, and then embodying the thoughts, desires, the beliefs that that woman has, and then creating your life and making decisions along that line, not making decisions from fear.Lesley Logan 8:39  Well, but that's the hardest part, because like, to be honest, usually when you when you figure out their clarity, sometimes I think they know, but they don't want to admit it, because it means, often, like, letting go of something else. Like you had to, like, reduce hours somewhere. You had to, like, let go of the coaching thing. Like, it means almost like we feel that if we stop doing something else, that we're letting people down because they have expectations of us, and we are so used to meeting everyone's expectations and our own. So how does that work? Because, like, that's the hardest part. Dr Corey Winn 9:09  I think for me, it was being really honest with myself and figuring out what it was going to cost me to not do those things. And I don't remember exactly how old my daughter was, probably four or five, but I remember having this horrible sense of failure because my mom did all the things. She was carpool, she worked full time, she was home on the the teacher work days, all the things, and I remember thinking she did it all. Why does this feel so hard. Why can't I figure it out? Lesley Logan 9:43  I think it was hard for them, too. Dr Corey Winn 9:45  At some point, I was like, Corey, you don't have to do it all. And learning to receive help, ask for help. And on the other side of that, it was I want my daughter to know, and my bonus kiddos, who are grown now, they're doing their own thing, but I want them to know that they don't ever have to stay in their lane. They don't have to stay in the box that maybe somebody else made for them, and I don't want them to ever be too afraid to try. So hey, I've tried, I've pivoted, I've done things, and it wasn't always easy, but it was like, what is, what's going to be the cost of me staying here? Is it my sanity? Is it my soul? Is it my happiness? Is it my family?Lesley Logan 10:32  Yeah, I think that's I think that's tough. Like, you almost have to take a piece of paper out and get really clear, like, this is what I want, okay, what does it cost me to not do the thing. I mean, that's what people don't realize, and I don't I, you know, like, it's really funny. I don't even know your mom probably did it really well, but I don't even know if they were doing all the things all very well. But also, we didn't have so many other things to do. Like, there are so many things to do. I'm currently, like, before getting on this call with you, going back and forth, texting a doctor, and they're like, okay, well, that's not a that's, no, it's not an uncommon issue. You have to call around, you know, and do these things. And I'm like, that, people didn't have to do that. Back then you would go, and then it would happen. And maybe it took, they'd say, okay, in two days, it's gonna happen. But like, there was, like, things were slower, and now everything is so fast, and it takes time. And so I think, like, sitting down and getting really clear, like, really clear, like, what is the cost of keeping going with the thing that you don't want to be doing? So how do you exit? Like, what's the kind to just like, the worst place, how I'm really good at exiting is blowing it up. So we're better at that now, better at that now. Dr Corey Winn 11:37  You can turn it all to the ground (inaudible) yeah, you know, for me personally, on the one hand, I'm somebody who would love to just burn it all down. I mean, I'm like, let's go. We're doing this now. And the more fearful maybe, or the more practical version of me is like, oh, we still have bills to pay, and that's reality. You know, some people can burn it all to the ground, and the steps come and and there, and there's nothing wrong with that. What I work with my clients on is what feels good to you, because it doesn't matter what I did if it doesn't feel good in your soul to do it that way. It's not going to be successful. And my biggest goal is to help my clients trust themselves again, trust their process and do what works for them. Some of them, they're like, yep, burning it all to the ground, leaving tomorrow. We're done with that. Some of them are like, I want six months of savings in the bank before I totally pivot and go on this idea. Both are both are fine. Both are right. It's just what feels good to you.Lesley Logan 12:48  Yeah, I agree. Like in my youthful days when it was just rent to pay and no one on my payroll, I could burn it down. And, you know, as as I'm older, a little wiser, and also, like, I care about all the things that I do, I do think some sort of runway and roadmap and plan and based on, like, a value system, right? Like, having these are my values, and so if I follow my values in this change, like, how, how does that change align with those values? Because then it will feel good, you know? Because, like, it's one thing to just like pivot, and it's the other thing to like feel good while you're pivoting. You want to be like, oh, I let those people down. I mean, you still might, but as long as you, like, let them in on the journey, like, that could be the runway. Yeah, I get that. Lesley Logan 13:27  And I think it depends on, like, who it matters whether you let down, if that makes sense. Lesley Logan 13:33  Oh, okay. Dr Corey Winn 13:34  There are people in your life who you don't need permission from. And I don't mean permission, like, yes, you can do that. But like family members who don't believe in you, or friends who are like, oh, what are you doing? Their opinions don't matter. They're not paying your bills. You know, if the people in your life are on board and they're going for it, and they aren't always, I'm very, very lucky. My husband's always like, yes, where are we going? What are we doing? But surrounding yourself with a group of people, whether it's friends or their family, whether it's mentors and coaches who hold that vision for you, and are like, All right, let's go. We're doing it.Lesley Logan 14:11  Yeah, I know that's interesting. Like, I was just having coffee with a girlfriend. I'm like, it can be really difficult to like, I'm a boundaries queen. So like, it's not like, it's that, but like, it is still difficult. There's people who don't in your life who don't want to respect those boundaries, because they're like, this is how I want to operate, and this is how everyone should operate. And it can feel really hard to like, not let those people on the journey. Like, how do you, I don't know, what do you say? How have you coached people who have those family or friends that they're just not able to like, kick to the curb? You know, they don't, they don't, their opinions don't matter. They know that consciously, but also they're still kind of like, having the hard like, how do you put those people in? Like, I don't know. Can we put them in a closet? Like, what do we do?Dr Corey Winn 14:53  You know, honestly, this is a very difficult journey for me, because I have a very large family who has lots of opinions, and I just wanted to fit in. I don't personally have any siblings, so my immediate family is very small, but oh my gosh, cousins, aunts, uncles, everybody has an opinion about how it should go and how it should be. And it took me a very long time to really sit still and listen to my heart and say, Are these people along for the long haul? Are they here to support me, or are they questioning everything that I do, or judging or whatever? And it it was difficult. It was a grieving process to say I love you and I'm not going to allow you to bring me down anymore. And for me, it wasn't even like I had to have a heart to heart conversation. It was just like, I'm not going to allow that energy in my space anymore, but I had to get to a point where I was okay with that, because I I don't speak to a lot of family that doesn't hold those same values, and that was hard growing up with a huge family and cousins and family reunions and all the things, but I realized they're not going where I'm going, and that's okay. They're not bad people. I'm not a bad person. But it was a grieving process, for sure. And so I work with my clients on figuring out where their boundaries are, what works for them, and also letting them give themselves permission to say, I'm not going to have lunch anymore, or I'm not going to call this person when I'm having contrast, because they're not going to help me get out of it. Lesley Logan 16:33  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think lists, guys, I'm hearing a lot of lists, you know, especially until it becomes easier for for us. You know, I also think that, like it sounds like sometimes we need to surround ourselves with better people, maybe not better people, just the right people, I should say, because some people can be great and then the wrong people. What are your tips? Because I feel like a lot of women, especially high-achieving women, it's hard to sometimes have the time to go make friends or like, people who can be in their corner, like it can just feel like they end up doing everything for everybody at some point. So like, what is your best suggestion for that? Because you're gonna need people on your journey.Dr Corey Winn 17:13  Invest in yourself. That's the best thing I have ever done. Invest in a community of other women who are going places that you're going. That's how I met you. I met you through Jessica Papineau. And being around women who hold space for your dreams, who are like grabbing their bag and saying, all right, show me where, let's go, versus really you're gonna do that? Why? And I was actually at Brooke Hemingway's Align event back in January, and Justin, think it's Justin Shank said there's five people who you need to surround yourself with, a cheerleader, a bruiser, a mentor, a coach, and essentially, somebody who's going to always be there for you to have, you know, be your shoulder. And it really hit me, because you are the five people you surround yourself with. So like, I love my parents, but I don't want the same financial set point that they had, so I'm not going to go to them for business advice. That's okay. And I think having that clarity of, like, I'm going to go to this mentor for this thing, or I'm going to surround myself with this type of woman for this thing, and it doesn't have to always be in person. You know, there's a lot of virtual communities you can be a part of, and that was really where it started for me, because there's a lot of networking groups out there that maybe aren't the right room for you. And that's okay.Lesley Logan 18:36  I know, I know I feel like I get invited to a lot of rooms, and I'm always like, so knowing who I am and knowing what I do, I can't be in this room, because I'm gonna have all on the fixing all your stuff, your journey, I will just make like because I won't want to waste my time. And so it's like, I can't, you know, and it's hard, because sometimes I find like, the way I was raised, I kind of feel like I'm letting people down by, like, not taking their invitation. But also, it's like, I can't be in every room, and if the rooms aren't going to be the right place for me, or I feel like the little snake oily salespeople, you know, clicky. I don't like that stuff, so I am kind of allergic to but it takes time to figure out, like, oh, is this group the right group, you know? And then, like, being kind to yourself if you accidentally chose the wrong group because you thought it was the right group, you know?Dr Corey Winn 19:23  Right well. And I think there's something to be said. I think there's a lot of women wounding out there. I think there was a lot of fear for me to walk into rooms with other women of like, am I going to be accepted here? Am I going to be welcomed here? What's it going to be like? And giving yourself grace, like you said, to exit if you need to, or or relax, like I needed to do, and go, okay, this, this is a safe space.Lesley Logan 19:45  Yeah, I'm incredibly grateful that you can like block and bless. You know, it's like, I like, not everyone needs to know you left. I'm the queen of an Irish goodbye, especially when I found out that it was the kindest way to leave a space. It's like, it means that you're it's not about you when you leave, I'm like, I am more obsessed with an Irish goodbye than ever before, because I'm like, oh, it's not about this is not about me. So then you know that I left.Dr Corey Winn 20:08  Yeah, think about I think originally, I feel like I heard you kind of say you want to help everybody. You want to be part of everything. And then you really realize, like, okay, these are not my people. And once you get incredibly clear on who you work with, they flock to you versus, you know, the people who maybe aren't ready or aren't willing to invest in themselves, they exit themselves.Lesley Logan 20:28  Yeah, no, I think it's true. I think there's like people who they find you and they're they're like a magnet to you when you're really clear, because either they're totally ready or they aspire to be ready. And I think that those are the best ones to work with when you're there's, it's like a push versus a pull, right? Like, like, if you're constantly trying to be like, hey, I'm the person, this is the thing. Like, that's really push, you know, forward. That's hard, and it means you sometimes push wrong people into your spaces. But if you if you're a bit more clear, and you own that, and I think that that is one of the kindest things. Like, I had somebody asked me about inclusivity, and I'm a big fan of inclusivity. Of course, everyone should feel like they belong somewhere, but it might not be my space. But it is important for me to know what space, based on what I know about that person might be right for them, so that they find something like, you're a physical therapist specialize in neurological there's any people who come to you who just need, you know, hip stuff. It's like, of course, you're smart, you know how to do it. But like, Are you the best hip person? Probably, like, there's someone better, right? Right. Dr Corey Winn 21:28  Not anymore. Lesley Logan 21:29  Yeah. So, like, so it's like, you it's inclusive to, like, know those spaces and guide people on the other direction as well. I think, yeah. Dr Corey Winn 21:37  Absolutely. Lesley Logan 21:38  Yeah. So what do you what do you say to the person who's like, I get it, I get that I should invest in myself, but they have that, that time. Excuse, I don't have the time. You know, like you had kids and another job and a nonprofit. How do we give ourselves permission to find the time? Dr Corey Winn 21:56  I hope I can get permission from your audience to be incredibly blunt, because I'm going to be, you know, it's what you make time for. I mean, being a very, very radical, taking radical responsibility for your time. I mean, and I this past January, I was like, hmm, this, this time management quote process isn't working for me. It's not building me the way that I want to so taking responsibility for maybe burning your whole calendar down and starting over, but time isn't the real issue. So really getting underneath like, okay, it's not time. What is the real issue? Is it fear? Is it someone else's expectations? What's really behind it? Because time is just an excuse. We all make time for the things that are important to us.Lesley Logan 22:44  Right. It's true. Like, if we were like, you could say, oh, I can't do anything tomorrow. If I would say, oh, but it's I got a free shopping spree to, like, the your favorite store, you would fucking find the time. Like, it's a free shopping spree to your favorite store, you know? So we find, we find the time all the time. So, so it's really about making sure that you're, you're clear on what that is, because, and I get it, like, there are people who have families who need them, you know, for different reasons. You have an infant, you have a young toddler, you have somebody who has a neurological condition going on in their house, there's they're gonna need you. But also there's, there's still other time in your day. And like, how are you spending it? And they're the the phone is a great space that wants to suck all of our time. I find myself wasting time on it all the time. Oh, yeah, yeah. So, like, we can, there's time. And also you'd be surprised. Dr Corey Winn 23:33  You can be wasting time reading a book. Like, I love to read. I could sit for hours and read. Is that moving the needle forward anything that I do? It might be filling my cup, but it's not moving my business forward. So it's also recognizing it might not be doom scrolling social media, it might not be binge watching Netflix. It may be like, oh, I should probably read for 30 minutes rather than two hours.Lesley Logan 23:59  Right, right. So you're still filling your cup. But like, you know, how much are you and what, what does that space look like? I think you're totally right. Like, I think we, like, are like, oh, and I don't doom scroll, I know what this, I still have the time, right, but are you like, still organizing the kitchen, right?Dr Corey Winn 24:13  Or planning to plan to plan to make a plan.Lesley Logan 24:16  Yeah, exactly like, I have people who are like.Dr Corey Winn 24:20  I'm saying that from me. I'm not judging, I'm not pointing fingers. Like that was me, and I had to take radical responsibility for, like, okay, what do I want to waffle in this? Or do I want to move forward?Lesley Logan 24:32  Yeah, and I think that, like, first of all, everyone, like, we say these things in jest, because we spot it, we got it. Like, the reason we can call this out is because we did those things, you know, like, we find ways to I have too much email, so guess what? I found a system that means someone else reads my email. Someone else reads it. I read it's so rare that I respond to an email before it's read by somebody else. Because I'm not I don't go into my regular inbox. I usually go straight into this, like one inbox, where I'm responsible for responding at these things or looking at these things. And I'm telling you, what has given me is I check my email, like, once a week, probably dangerous, because sometimes it's like, my assistants, like you really do need to respond to this one. I'm like, oh, okay, but like, I check it once a week, because, like, it was so hard. I was like, I am stuck between Slack and our, you know, our system that tells me what, what jobs I have to do today, and the email and the text messages, like, I want to talk to my friends too. Like I can't do all the I can't check in all of the platforms all the time. So I check my email like once a week, and I check the Slacks like three days a week. Because honestly, if it's super, super important, someone else is going to call me and go, you have got to respond to this.Dr Corey Winn 25:37  Yes, yeah. We need your input here. Please answer.Lesley Logan 25:40  Yeah. And I think, like, look, if you're brand new at what you're doing and what you're getting into, there is some need to be a bit more available to be reached out, because you're new and you're building your stuff up. I am definitely, you know, my god, 15, 16, years into my coaching business, and, you know, almost 18 years into teaching, like, people will wait 48 hours for a response from me, you know, like, they will so, but I also know that, like, unless what you're doing is brain surgery, and I don't mean that, like, what you're doing is not important, but most things can wait 48 hours for a response. So you can still make time for things and block things out. And as an ADHD person, I thrive in systems. So like you just there, you just have to find the one that works for you. Dr Corey Winn 26:24  Oh, yeah. My calendar, I think would really scare most people, because it's so color-coded and it's so almost minute by minute. But for me, that has given me clarity to complete this task and move on to the next one. Because for somebody who was a physical therapist full time for so many years, a new patient comes in every 45 minutes. You have to have your note done all these things like it was so regimented. And stepping into the entrepreneurial world, you can work all day or none at all. So figuring out the system is important, but know that it can change. There's still no rigid blocks. It's no taking inventory of is this still working for me? Because what you did probably doesn't work, but just look at who Lesley Logan is today.Lesley Logan 27:11  Not at all. And thank God, there's so many new tools out there. Yeah, no, I think that's really important. And thanks for sharing that like it's so color-coded minute by minute. Because I do think some people think some people think that they're weird when it's like that, but I am someone who actually the same way. Like, if I I want to know how long something can take, so I can go, oh, I have time for that. But if it's like, we need this today, and it's like, well, how long will that take? Like, I have to go, is it a 15-minute project? Is it a 20-minute project? Like, you start to learn, like, how long things are, because everything takes the amount of time you give it. It really, really does. And you'd be surprised, like, how quickly some things can get done if you just, you just do it. I think the other thing we're saying, without saying, is like, you need to know yourself and get by the way, by the way, becoming an entrepreneur, entrepreneurial, you'll learn a lot about yourself.Dr Corey Winn 27:55  I would never have identified as somebody who has ADHD, and I'm not diagnosed, but things that bounce around in my head all day. My husband will look at me every so often. He's like, are you going to finish that sentence? Lesley Logan 28:07  No, you did in your head. You did it in your head? Yeah, no. The reality is, I don't think that. I don't know many entrepreneurs that could be neurotypical. I think it's just like a thing that we all find ourselves in because we're doers and our brain thinks so fast and and I had no idea. I thought my husband was the one with ADHD, and I got diagnosed this week that we're recording this, so who knows when y'all are hearing this, but, like, in, but I, like, two years before someone told me that I did that, she's like, oh, your classic case. And I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, I know. And I looked what women and ADHD look like, and I'm like, oh, my whole life I I just thought I was, this is what I told my psychiatrist. I said, well, I thought I was an Aquarius, and so that's why, I mean, I am an Aquarius, but like, I thought, because I'm an Aquarius, that's why I have a lot of things and that I have conversations in my head. And it's like, she laughed out loud, like audibly laughed out loud. She's like, well, you are an Aquarius, but you also have ADHD.Dr Corey Winn 29:06  I'm a Scorpio, but I totally identify with that. Lesley Logan 29:08  You, you have to like, the more you get to know yourself, and it makes it easier for you to figure out, what kind of systems do you need, what kind of team members do you need? Like, I am becoming increasingly aware that, like, I probably need more people on my team that are neurotypical, because I we all can't have ADHD. So I'm glad he has to get things done in a different way. But like, I think when it's coming and it I also think we have to, it's shocking how fast things happen when you take your time. You know what I mean? Like, if we we start to think I should probably it should go faster by now. But it's like, actually, if you take the time to know your values and know your clarity and understand what your fears are and understand what kind of systems you need, you'd be surprised how fast you go. Now, some of you will actually just stick in the in the learning about yourself and the planning to plan and plan to plan, like, like Corey said, but no, you'll learn that about yourself as well, and it really does help. All right, Corey, what are you most excited about right now?Dr Corey Winn 30:08  That's kind of a hard one. There's, like I said earlier, there's two different lanes. So I am launching, like a business building intensive for my community. So anybody who's like brand new entrepreneur just launching like you are my person. Let's get in. Let's sit for a day, either virtually or in person, if you're here in Colorado, and like, map it out, figure it out what systems you need, who you're doing. But then on the other side of that, we're getting to start early this year, but our annual gala for the foundation will be in October, so starting to talk to venues and reach out to people, because today is actually Colorado Disability Advocacy Day.Lesley Logan 30:49  Oh, so you guys just know it today, that day is we're recording, February 12th, so. Dr Corey Winn 30:54  That's true. It's February 12 here in Colorado. So you know there's things going on at the Capitol, there's things going on around town. So like you, I am fiercely protective of inclusive spaces and access and accessibility. So I will likely be doing some talks on that in the coming future to like position groups and whatnot. So lots of things brewing, just lots of excitement going on. Lesley Logan 31:19  I but of course. But you know, what's so funny is, like you say it's two lanes, but now that you brought up advocacy, I just think that, like, because of the work you've done in advocating for that special population you work with, it makes it so much easier for you to, like, tell women that you coach like how to advocate for themselves, like this. It's all the same thing. And if we by the way, if you don't, you don't have to be someone who, like, does talks in front of crowds about advocacy, like advocating for yourself is like, kind of an essential skill set, so that, not just so you can get your dreams to happen, but also so that you you feel seen, and you belong and and you get your needs met. Dr Corey Winn 31:54  Right. Well, and you talked earlier, just about talking to the doctor, you know, I am fiercely protective of women because of the amount of times I've been dismissed at the doctor's office by women physicians. So, you know, being in spaces where I can help other women recognize there's a different room for you and that's okay, or if the door is shut here, there's one open over here, you know, and I do think inherently that is my, my passion is helping people reach their full potential. It's not just women. Yeah.Lesley Logan 32:28  Well, because if the women you help are reaching their full potential, it's a there's like a bubble of influence that happens. So I agree, I agree, and I think that's so it's so key. Oh my gosh. Well, I mean, we could talk for another bit on all of this stuff, but we're gonna take a brief break and then find out how people can find you, follow you and work with you and your Be It Action Items. Lesley Logan 32:48  All right, Corey, where do you hang out? Where do you teach these amazing women to get clarity and advocate for themselves? Where is all where's your fun places to be.Dr Corey Winn 32:57  I love it. Thank you so much. So I'm on Instagram @coreywinndpt, I'm on LinkedIn @coreywinn and if you head to Her Quantum Rise, you can see all the different ways you can work with me, reach out, schedule a free call. I'm happy to just jump on the phone and figure out what you need and how I can help.Lesley Logan 33:17  Perfect. I love that. That's so nice, so nice when people are like, Hey, I'm open and I'm ready. And I think that sometimes people need to know if it's right space for them. You've given us a lot of stuff. So if it but feel free to repeat yourself. But, Be It Action Items, bold, executable, intrinsic or target steps people can take it to be till they see it, what do you have for us? Dr Corey Winn 33:35  Every morning, I want you to look at your calendar and make sure there's something on it that brings you joy. It doesn't matter whether it's five minutes, like Fridays, I typically try and take off and have a whole self-care day. And that doesn't necessarily always mean like bubble bath and other things, but something in your calendar every single day that brings you joy because it allows your productivity to improve. It fills your cup, and it may take a little bit of time to figure out what that is. So give yourself grace.Lesley Logan 34:07  I love that I'm obsessed with morning I really like, I really am and I am also someone who like, if, if I sleep in and my morning routine gets shortened, I'm like, I love it when it's like, I love a three full hour luxurious like getting into my day, but like finding I love that also finding something that brings you joy. So many of us, sometimes there's things on the counter that used to and we like lost our way, so I think that's beautiful. And if you don't have something, that you have to find something. And that's cool. I love this, Lesley Logan 34:34  Corey, you're so amazing. This is so fun. Thank you for being you and y'all how are you going to use these tips in your life? Make sure you tell Corey, tell the Be It Pod, and then share this with a friend who needs to hear it. Because, you know, especially if you're like, oh, I want to do this, and my this person wants to do it, you guys can do the journey together. You can be on it together, and and, and support each other, and, and then you'll, you know, we all like you have the person's five groups. I really think. Like, we all need people who are pluses in our life, equals in our life, and then someone who's behind where we're going, you know, because that lets us know how far we've come, someone who understands the journey we're on, and someone who's who's paved the way. And you can see, like, okay, there is a light at the end of this tunnel. It's not a train. You know?Dr Corey Winn 35:15  The world isn't gonna drop off. You're not gonna fall off the other side. Lesley Logan 35:18  Yeah, exactly. Thanks Craig for being here. All right, everyone. Thanks so much. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 35:25  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 36:07  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 36:12  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 36:17  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 36:24  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 36:27  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this powerful episode of The Reformed Brotherhood, Tony and Jesse dive deep into Matthew 21:33-46, examining Jesus's parable of the wicked tenants. The hosts unpack how Christ masterfully draws the Pharisees into pronouncing their own condemnation, revealing not merely theological error but intentional usurpation of God's authority. Through careful exegesis, they explore the shocking setup of the parable—where the landowner does all the work while the tenants contribute nothing—and how this mirrors God's sovereign initiative in salvation. The discussion touches on confession, the value of full-time ministry, and the scandal of rejecting the Messiah despite recognizing His authority. This episode challenges listeners to examine whether they, like the Pharisees, attempt to claim God's work as their own. Key Takeaways God Does All the Verbs: The parable emphasizes that the landowner planted, built, protected, and prepared everything—the tenants contributed nothing yet claimed ownership of the fruit. Self-Pronounced Condemnation: Jesus draws the Pharisees into declaring their own judgment, demonstrating that even the unregenerate conscience bears witness to divine justice (Romans 2). Intentional Usurpation, Not Mere Error: The Pharisees weren't well-intentioned but misguided; they recognized Christ's authority as the heir and deliberately murdered Him to seize His inheritance. The Scandal of Grace: The parable's shocking element is that the landowner prepared everything before leasing the land—far exceeding normal agricultural arrangements and illustrating God's unmerited favor. Ecclesial Support for Ministry: The OPC presbytery's decision to fund a full-time call demonstrates how church structure can honor the ministry of Word and sacrament by freeing ministers from worldly distractions. Particular Repentance Matters: Westminster Confession 15.5 teaches that believers should not content themselves with general repentance but "endeavor to repent of his particular sins, particularly." The Stone Rejected Becomes Chief: Christ's citation of Psalm 118 reveals that the very rejection by the builders (religious leaders) was God's plan to establish the cornerstone of salvation. Key Concepts God Does All the Verbs The concentration of action verbs attributed solely to the landowner in Matthew 21:33 is theologically significant. The landowner plants, builds, digs, and rents—creating a fully functional, productive vineyard before the tenants ever arrive. This arrangement differs radically from typical first-century agricultural practices, where tenants would lease raw land and develop it themselves, sharing profits with the landowner. Jesus deliberately presents an extraordinary scenario where the tenants receive everything prepared and ready, requiring only stewardship of what already exists. This parallels God's sovereign initiative in election and salvation: believers contribute nothing to their standing before God, receiving instead a fully accomplished redemption. The Pharisees' rebellion wasn't against burdensome requirements but against simply acknowledging God's rightful ownership of what He alone created. Intentional Usurpation, Not Mere Error The hosts challenge the common sympathetic reading of the Pharisees as well-intentioned legalists who simply got sidetracked. Instead, verse 38 reveals the tenants explicitly recognize the son as heir and plot to murder him to "seize his inheritance." This isn't accidental rejection but calculated rebellion. The Pharisees weren't confused about Jesus's identity or authority—they understood precisely who He claimed to be and deliberately chose to destroy Him rather than submit. This interpretation carries significant weight for understanding the nature of unbelief: it's not primarily intellectual confusion but volitional rebellion. The religious leaders didn't need more evidence or clearer teaching; they needed transformed hearts. This same dynamic appears whenever humans recognize divine truth yet choose self-sovereignty over submission to God's rightful claim on their lives. The Scandal of Grace The parable begins with a scandalous premise that would have startled Jesus's original audience. Unlike normal tenant farming arrangements where landowners simply provided land in exchange for a share of whatever the tenants produced through their own labor, this landowner invests everything. He doesn't just own the property—he plants the vineyard, constructs the protective wall, digs the wine press for production, and builds the watchtower for defense. The tenants receive a turnkey operation requiring minimal effort. This extravagant preparation mirrors God's unmerited favor toward Israel and, by extension, the church. God didn't merely create humanity and wait to see what we would produce; He established covenants, sent prophets, preserved His Word, and ultimately sent His Son—all before requiring any response. The only "payment" demanded is acknowledging His ownership of what He created. The parable thus exposes the absurdity and ingratitude of claiming God's work as our own achievement. Memorable Quotes God does all the verbs. All of the verbs are done by the landowner. There is nothing expected of these tenants—they really add nothing to the landowner's land. Christ is not painting the Pharisees as well-intentioned but ultimately wrong. He's painting them as usurpers who recognize the proper authority and rather than submitting to it, they're going to reject that authority and try to take it for their own. Men ought not to content themselves with a general repentance, but it is every man's duty to endeavor to repent of his particular sins, particularly. (Westminster Confession 15.5) Transcript Welcome to episode 491 of the Reformed Brotherhood. I'm Jesse.  [00:01:12] Tony Arsenal: And I'm Tony. And this is the podcast with ears to hear. Hey brother.  [00:01:17] Jesse Schwamb: Hey brother.  [00:01:18] Parable of Tenants [00:01:18] Jesse Schwamb: So picture this, Tony, your landlord. You've built the perfect vineyard. We're talking wall watchtower, wine, press, the works like what everybody says. Everybody knows you need all those things. You've got it all set up, and then you hand the keys to some tenants. You take a long trip, you go enjoy yourself. And when the harvest rolls around, you send your servants to collect the rent. And shockingly, your tenants, they beat. Stone. Another, the kill a third. So naturally you think, you know what? I'll fix this. Lemme just send more people. That's obviously the problem. There's some kind of just profound misunderstanding about what's going on here and about our relationship in this business. And then when that doesn't work, you send your son now loved ones. If this were a business strategy, we would already be calling hr. But of course it's not a business strategy, it's a parable. And Jesus is telling it to the very people about to prove the parable true. So welcome back to the Reformed Brotherhood because we're in Matthew Chapter 21 and we're gonna be actually getting all the way into the parable of the Vine growers where the patience of God looks, I would say, to almost anybody else, to humanize at least almost reckless until you realize that's exactly the point. So yeah, grab your beverage of choice, grab your Bible, pull the car over, will you? Because this is gonna get real and we're going to reason together. But before we do all of that, let's do a little affirming with or denying against, what do you got?  [00:02:41] Inside Baseball Affirmation [00:02:41] Tony Arsenal: So this is a sort of inside baseball, uh, affirmation. Um, I'm not sharing anything, although it may feel like I'm sharing something that is private and like, uh, like confidential. It's not No, this is good. Um, so I had the opportunity to visit. Um, my presbytery, um, for those who are listeners of the show or people who like, have been with us a long time, um, I was part of a Baptist church. Uh, I've always kind of been a Presbyterian at heart, but, um, our church closed, uh, a little over a year and a half ago now. And, um, uh, I've joined an OPC congregation in membership now. We've been members there for about a year. And, um, so I've been visiting Presbytery, which is the, the meeting of all of the leadership of all of the churches. So we won't do a polity breakdown here, but basically like, it's, it's the regional meeting. It's the regional business meeting or church meeting for a group of churches in the OPC, the Orthodox Presbyterian Church. And so a lot of the meetings, you know, have the normal kind of business type stuff. You have reports from different committee committees and stuff. Um.  [00:03:48] Presbytery Call Debate [00:03:48] Tony Arsenal: Where this is affirmation is coming in here is at this most recent presbytery meeting, um, was pretty heavy on, um, licensing or, or, uh, not licensing on approving men who had received a call to formal ministry within the presbytery. And so in the OPC, and I would imagine that other Presbyterian bodies are not like super different, although I'm sure there's some variation in the OPC. Um, when a church intends to extend a call to a pastor, to a teaching elder, um, to a minister, they must have the call, which is. Is both theological but is also eminently practical. Like the call is a physical piece of paper that details, you know, what the pay is, how much vacation time. So it's kind of a combination between like a theological call and also a contract. Um, the presbytery has to approve that call. And so at this most recent one, there was a couple calls that were more or less uncontroversial. There was no question about them, and they were approved pretty quickly. But there was one call, um, one call to ministry that took, I, I, I didn't time it, but it was probably like four or five hours of debate and discussion in various fashion in order to get to a point where the presbytery could approve the call. So this was a call to a minister who is being called part-time, which is unusual in the Orthodox Presbyterian Church. Um, the OPC uh, acknowledges the fact that bivocational tent making ministry is sometimes a necessity, but really views the ministry of the word in sacrament as something that should not have. Distractions. And actually our book of church order talks about, doesn't use the word distraction, I think, but it talks about a, a properly ordered call to a full-time minister includes phrasing that the congregation promises to compensate them in a way that allows them to be free of worldly burdens and cares. And I might have not, not have gotten that wording exactly right. But that's the idea. And so this call was. Explicitly, um, not a full-time call it, they actually took the language out of promising to pay him in a way that he's able to ignore or to not be distracted by worldly care. And that was intentional, but there was a lot of question in discussion at presbytery level about the fact that the call did not include the phrase or the wording of part-time or bivocational. So the conversation started out of like, can this call be modified to include that? So it's explicitly known in this man's call that his calling is part-time, which is both theological, to make sure that the call is properly formatted, but also like very practical that the congregation should acknowledge explicitly that they recognize that this person is not, not going to be putting, you know, 40 hours a week or 50 hours a week towards this position. [00:06:34] Jesse Schwamb: Right.  [00:06:34] Tony Arsenal: Um. What I'm affirming is where it got to, right? So there was lots of discussion about that. There was some finagling about the retirement package. The OPC recommends that a, a minister be given a retirement contribution of no less than 5% a year of his salaried package. Um, which there's a couple line items that go into that, but 5%, and this was a little bit less than that. And this is what I'm affirming and this, I, I don't know that this is a super widespread thing that would happen all across the, um, the OPC, but it happened in the presbytery of New York and New England this past week, and it's just amazing. And I just, I just want to lay it out there and then I want to hear your reaction. [00:07:13] Funding Full Time Ministry [00:07:13] Tony Arsenal: And I, I wanna hear your reaction as the son of a minister who labored his entire adult, more or less, his entire adult career in ministry, working two or three additional jobs on top of his ministry, the presbytery decided. That because it did not like the idea of a part-time minister. They didn't think that was appropriate. They didn't think that that was good or that that was really the right goal. The presbytery allocated, I'm not gonna say the figures 'cause they're not super germane, but allocated a significant amount of money to be dis to be dispersed to the church for the next three years in order to take what was a part-time call and enable it to become a full-time call. [00:07:54] Jesse Schwamb: Wow.  [00:07:54] Tony Arsenal: And so there are a lot of, there are a lot of church bodies that would say, yeah, we don't love the idea of bi-vocational ministry. You know, we really think it's ideal that a minister could be full-time. Um, they may even put some, some theological freight behind that. Um, I have never encountered a body, um. That was willing to put a sizable amount of money towards essentially supplementing a part-time call to make it full-time. Um, this was just amazing to me, and the candidate was there. I didn't get a chance to talk to him, but I would love to talk to him about what he felt. I, I can just imagine the phone call to his wife who was not, not at presbytery, but to his wife, following the outcome of this to be like, you are never gonna believe what just happened. Right? This is a family who was intending to move across country. Right. He's currently a student at Westminster, California in seminary, uh, California, Westminster Seminary in California, finishing his M Div. They're planning a cross country move into a part-time position where she's probably gonna have to find a job, and then also he's gonna have to find a part-time job. He had the ability to call her on the break and be like, you're never gonna guess what just happened? You're never gonna,  [00:09:09] Jesse Schwamb: it's wild.  [00:09:09] Tony Arsenal: Uh, sorry, I'm getting a little emotional here. You're never going to. Believe how faithful God is in this. Right. So I'm interested to hear your reaction to that as the son of a, of a try and quad at times Quad vocational. Yeah,  [00:09:23] Jesse Schwamb: for sure.  [00:09:23] Tony Arsenal: Minister who labored his entire, more or less, his entire adult career, um, working full-time in a call as a part-time, part-time minister. You know, like that's a, that's a crazy situation. So I'm just affirming that again, I don't know how common that kind of thing is in the OPC. I don't wanna make it seem like that's the norm. Um, I actually get the sense that this is probably not the norm, but it was amazing to see and it made me in intensely like. Proud in the right way of being a part of this broader body that would, would so emphasize and so value the ministry of the word and the sacrament, and the importance of a man being able to dedicate himself to that without distraction. That they would put forward this amount of money and this kind of money. They had no reason to do so. And there's no real direct benefit to the presbytery for doing this. I mean, there's an indirect benefit of like not having a church with a part-time minister, but like there's no direct benefit to this. There's no direct return on investments that's gonna come out of this. Um, it was pretty amazing to see. It was, it was, it was super encouraging.  [00:10:28] Jesse Schwamb: That is really encouraging. I, I think it's, there's no doubt that for the called pastor, their heart is in the ministry of the word. That's what they want to be doing. They wanna be doing it all the time and as much time as they possibly can, and they wanna be able to have all of their intentional focus on it. So I. I'm excited for that guy. I mean, that's just an incredible blessing to go in hoping for funding, essentially for a part-time role and to basically be told, no, no, no, no, that's, that's not enough. We want you to be committed to this fully as we know your heart is committed. As we validated that call.  [00:11:00] Why Structure Matters [00:11:00] Jesse Schwamb: I do love being a part of churches, well, lemme say it this way. There is, I think, a benefit of being part of congregations that have like a wide resource network that has like appropriate hierarchy and structure and that can be one of them. I've seen something similar in the Christian Missionary Alliance, which is the church that I'm in, not exactly the same, but I've seen some surprising allocations of resources where they basically said, you know, this is important. Like, it even trumps we're, we're gonna. Allocate or resource something so that this can move forward because it is important in a way that was like better than the person who was bringing it before them could have hoped for. Yeah. And uh, suddenly it's as if everything aligned. And it was really in part because there was this structure to come alongside, to validate as you're saying, and then to authenticate and then again to resource assets that could be used. There's, there's something to be said for that interdependency where there is kind of this hierarchical structure in which all that's happening at a level where things are codified. And again, like there's a structure and a way in which we move through those decisions to make sure that they suit the objective of the entire movement. So I guess there's nothing I'll say, but that's a beautiful thing, isn't it?  [00:12:14] Tony Arsenal: Yeah. Yeah.  [00:12:15] Generosity in Action [00:12:15] Tony Arsenal: It was, it was, it was cool because it was like this, it was like this real. Actualization of the principle of outdoing one another and showing honor. Yeah, sure. Because you know, like the initial debate was like, Hey, you know, I'm not sure we can approve this call because the, the OPCs guidelines tell us not to approve a call that has less than 5% of the retirement benefit. And there was a lot of discussion of like, well, the presbytery can't modify the call, but we don't wanna delay this guy coming in and like, we don't wanna delay his ordination, his installation. And so the initial proposal was a, a. What feels like a large amount of money to me. But after I understood more about the, the budget of what's going on in, in the presbytery was actually a very small amount of money. Started with a very tiny, very modest proposal of basically like supplementing the retirement fund to make sure that like we could, they, I say we, like, I was part of this, I was just observing, but to supplement the retirement fund in a way that allowed the church to still proceed with the call as written, but still also make sure that this person had the appropriate retirement fund. And then that just basically was like, there would be some instruction given to the church that like, you've gotta bump this up in the next budget cycle. Like you've gotta get to the 5%. That's, that's the expectation. It went from that. And like I said, I won't give you the specific numbers, but one of the presbyters and I, I'm, I, um, I, I've known this presbyter from a distance for quite a long time and, and I have an immense amount of respect for him. He stood up and he's like, well, if we're gonna give X, why don't we just give 10 times X instead? And then actually, like the discussion was like, well, is, are we sure that 10 times X is even the right amount? Why don't we have this particular group meet over the lunch break and figure out whether that's the right number and then come back after lunch and we'll vote on it. And then they came back after lunch and it was actually a number that was even greater than 10 times X. So it was like this exercise in like. This very small proposal that was still imminently generous, right? The presbytery has no obligation to do this. There's no obligation from any of the presbyters to stand up and say like, we should. We should supplement this fund. They would've been well within their right, and no one would've looked, I think. I think some people would've been frustrated by it, but I don't think anyone would've looked sideways at it or thought it was sinful. If the presbytery just said like, we can't approve this call. You guys are gonna have to come back with it and we'll vote on it at the next presbytery. Like that would've been problematic. This, this kind of poor guy who's coming outta seminary, his call and his beginning of employment would've been delayed, but like. That would've been good and orderly, but instead they were like, one, we don't want this pulpit to stay empty longer. We don't wanna disadvantage this guy who's just getting done with seminary. We want him to get started. We don't wanna discourage him. So here's a small proposal, a very modest amount of money that we can put forward for this purpose. And then it was like, let's just keep seeing how much closer to a real full-time call we can get. And they finally came back and said like, we're gonna do this. We're gonna do this in a wise fashion. They structured it. So like the first year he gets more, the second year he gets a little bit less. The third year the church gets a little bit less with the idea that like each year the church should be adjusting their budget to compensate and get this guy to that with the, the hope that like with a full-time minister, they're able to grow their congregation to the point where they can support a full-time minister. So it was just this really cool, super encouraging exercise. And what I loved about it is the only real debate that was going on was about do we need to do more? There was no one being like, wait a second, why are we, why are we putting more money to this? The whole thing was like, is this actually enough to accomplish what we think God wants to do with this person's call? Because if, if God is truly calling this man to this, this particular church, and we believe that he is. Then what do we as a, as a people of God need to do to enable that call to look like what we actually believe calls to ministry are supposed to look like, which is a full-time call to ministry that is undistracted by the cares of the world. What do we need to do? The answer in this case was like, I think we need to put a sizable amount of money to it. Um, it's a, I mean, and again. I'm not gonna say it on the air. It was not a small chunk of change. Um, it was, it was a, it was a large amount of money that was devoted to this cause and that just goes to show how much this body values the importance of a full-time minister of the word, so. [00:16:50] Jesse Schwamb: Right.  [00:16:51] OPC Love and Recommendation [00:16:51] Tony Arsenal: That's enough about that. I, I could gush about how proud I am to be a part of this body and how encouraged I am and how amazing it was and how awesome this, this guy, how, how much this guy must be thanking God for the providence and like, this is the last thing. I'll say this, this young man younger than me, I think he's graduating seminary. I saw him across the room. He looks like he's probably in his mid twenties, right? Young guy. He's got a wife doesn't have kids yet coming into this ministry, not only is he coming into this ministry, but as a Presbyterian minister, when he's installed as the minister of this church. He will be joining this body of presbyters as the, as his brothers like. He is not a member of the local church. He's a member of the presbytery, which is the regional church. So now he's coming into this fully supported by his brothers in the presbytery that he saw go to the mat to make sure he was properly taken care of, that the congregation was not unintentionally taking advantage of his labor, but also that he knows that all of these men are willing to do what they need to do to make sure that his ministry is successful and edifies the church like that is. Uh, I don't want to gush on Presbyterianism too much, but like that is Presbyterianism at peak form, right? This is the body of elders making sure that every church in the region, even the ones they're not directly ministering in, has what it needs to succeed and to honor God and to do what needs to happen. So I'm affirming the presbytery of New York and New England and the Orthodox Presbyterian Church. Um, I have been so blessed by knowing many of these presbyters. I've been so blessed by being a part of the congregation that I am. There are lots of really great churches and really great denominations out there. If you are looking for a church and there is an OPC congregation in your area, absolutely go check it out. I know it feels stuffy sometimes, and I will admit, like sometimes it feels a little bit overly traditional in terms of like just the vibe of the congregation,  [00:18:52] Jesse Schwamb: right?  [00:18:52] Tony Arsenal: But press past that because I don't think, I don't think you will find, um. You may find lots of congregations that are as faithful. I don't think you're gonna find many that are more faithful than your average OPC congregation. So I could be wrong. I just, I just love the OPC. I just really, really love it. So that's my affirmation. What do you got for us, Jesse?  [00:19:18] Denial Catholic Confession Math [00:19:18] Jesse Schwamb: I think I got denial, which is maybe a little bit unusual for me. [00:19:21] Tony Arsenal: As long as you're not denying the OPCI think we're fine.  [00:19:23] Jesse Schwamb: No, it's, it's not, it is church related and I, I'll try to keep it short 'cause I think I can make this way longer than it, it probably should be, but lemme think how to phrase this. So, I don't know with a devil negative, I guess when I'm a denying against is maybe not enough confession by your own standard. So the, I'm gonna try to make this so brief. I, I just happened to be out with my wife this afternoon and we had to run errands. We got stuck in traffic and this gave me longer than usual to sit in front of our. Very local and very large Catholic church. So I happen to be looking at their sign. It's a very large congregation. I've been actually been in this one on a couple of occasions for funerals. So not only do I know its size and scope, but again, if you get, if you get on this road at the wrong time on the Lord's day, you're gonna be stuck for a long time because there are so many people that attend. I say that because I noticed on the sign that there were three times for mass on the Lord's Day. So that also says something about the number of people coming through. And then on the sign though, underneath it said for confessions, go to our website. Mm-hmm. So I was like, man, I gotta lick this up because I can't tell if they're telling me I can confess on the website or if it's go to the website for the times. And I said to my wife, only half jokingly, if I can confess online, I'm gonna confess something. So I went to, I went to the website and, and sure enough it was almost disappointingly. It was just the times.  [00:20:45] Tony Arsenal: Yeah.  [00:20:46] Jesse Schwamb: Here's what I've found interesting, which just launched me into this like deep rabbit hole. There were three times for confession. Two of those times were just a half an hour, and the third time was an hour. So, uh, what I did was I went through, actually, I think what they had on there was, was three full hours a week. It was a little bit confusing, but I think it was three full hours. Now I think about it. So I went back, I just couldn't help myself, Tony. So I started to think, alright, let's say. I think it's fair to assume  [00:21:15] Tony Arsenal: math, Jesse is kicking in right now. Yes. You're gonna calculate how many minutes per, per person is what you're doing. I'm thinking, ah,  [00:21:22] Jesse Schwamb: yeah, it's something like that. So what I thought was, I don't think it's, uh, I was gonna be conservative. I wanna be fair. I wanna be fair. So, and now we should say like, I think most people realize that the Catholic understanding of confession and the Protestant one is, is very different. The Catholic sacrament of confession is the right through which Catholics are gonna confess their sins to a priest receive absolution, and it's gonna restore the relationship with God in the church. And, and they're gonna believe that the priest acts as a person of Christ and is bound by the seal of confession and an absolute kind of obligation. Uh, of course never to reveal what was disclosed during that process. So, by the way, the website that I went to, lovely instructions. I mean, I was like, wow. I was reading it to my wife who was, uh, not familiar with this at all, and she was like, they can make you do stuff. And I was like, well, yeah. I mean, obviously like there's, there's a portion of this where there's contrition or penant penance. It could be a prayer, it could be act of charity, like all kinds of stuff. So I went back and I thought. I don't think it's unreasonable that there's 350 persons that would say, let's say an average, uh, that would wanna take part of confession. Now, let's say that they did that at, at least monthly, just once a month. And, and I don't know how people's conviction is on that, but I'm gonna say conservatively once a month. Let's say that, and I don't think this is unreasonable, Tony, but you tell me. Let's say you're, you're trucking, you're moving through confession. Let's say it's five minutes a piece. So we're up to 1,750 minutes, uh, per month. That's the demand on the priest because I was, I was looking at this time and I was thinking something is strange here to me, so. That was the demand then, and I'll spare you the other math, which could be very long and un uninteresting. I'm coming up with, you'd need 2.24, two and a quarter priests, which of course you can't have a quarter priests or a quarter person for any reason. So you'd hire, you'd hire three priests, which satisfy the demand if, and the major assumptions here, that is like everybody can't show up at the same time. Obviously, I'm assuming that like everybody has their own time, they're spreading it out. So everybody gets the confession, but it's just five minutes. And I, I have no idea. I mean, if you're a Luther, that's certainly not sufficient time.  [00:23:20] Tony Arsenal: Yeah.  [00:23:20] Jesse Schwamb: And you would need three priests. Now here's the thing that I just kind of backed into that, besides like three being like, okay, that, that's, you would need three priests just to satisfy this congregation. If they're confessing for five minutes, once per month. Uh, by the way, if you said, well, half the congregation is going to go weekly, uh, then you, you would double the number of priests you need to 5.98 or six. But here's, here's the bottom line for me. This is why the denial comes in about maybe not enough, is. If you were just to distill that down to like, if you could have one priest cover that time, that there's a demand for like 779.4 hours, or excuse me, minutes of confession, that priest would only be allocating approximately like seven and a half percent of their working hours, their work toward handling confession. This seems like not enough confession given the standards of confession in the Catholic church. And again, I know that I'm, I'm now allocating that to one priest and I just told everybody you need three. That's true. So if you had these three now, if you hired three just to meet the demand, that would only be about like three and a half or a little under three and a half percent of their combined time. So the denial is Catholics, I think, unless I'm way off in some of my assumptions here, you might not be confessing enough by your own standards because  [00:24:33] Tony Arsenal: Yeah.  [00:24:34] Jesse Schwamb: Uh, that seems like not enough time.  [00:24:38] Tony Arsenal: Yeah. Yeah.  [00:24:39] Ritual Faithfulness Explained [00:24:39] Tony Arsenal: I mean, I think, um. I don't want to be too bombastic here, but I think,  [00:24:46] Jesse Schwamb: I think I already started this on this  [00:24:48] Tony Arsenal: path. Maybe this, maybe this isn't all that bombastic. Um, because this is so much about ritual and actually I say this is gonna sound really, we, we go, but trying to think from the Roman Catholic perspective, it's actually not, and I'll I'll tell you a brief story, uh, to explain it. Um, a lot of Roman Catholics are just going through the motions. [00:25:13] Jesse Schwamb: That's true.  [00:25:14] Tony Arsenal: But the point, the, the, the point of contention actually is that going through the motions is valuable for the Roman Catholic, right? So I, I knew this, uh, this young woman when I was in college who was a Roman Catholic, and we had many discussions about, about the differences between Protestantism and and Roman Catholicism. And what I came to understand is that going to mass for her. Itself was an act of faith. And so for the Roman Catholic, the concept of, of faith is different than the concept that Protestants operate under. So for the Roman Catholic who, um, goes to mass, even when they feel like they're, like, when they think they're just going through the motions, going through the motions is itself the act of faith. And that's because for most of Roman Catholics, most of Roman Catholicism, faith really equals faithfulness, right? So, so doing the act is the act of faithfulness. Doing the act is faith. Where for the Protestant, like faith is about belief and trust and knowledge. Like it's, it's an. Not entirely intellectual, but it's, it's an inward thing for the Roman Catholic faith is an out is primarily an outward thing. It's what you do, it's how you act. It's faith formed in love. It's faith formed in charity.  [00:26:36] Jesse Schwamb: Right.  [00:26:37] Tony Arsenal: So I think most Roman Catholics going to obligatory confession first. I think once a month is probably like, probably more frequent than most Roman Catholics go to mass or go to confession. Um, I thought I read a stat that it was like every six months is, is pretty average and I think that's what's required by the church maybe even once a year is, is required by the church. Um, I think like most Roman Catholics go into the, the confessional booth and like father forgive me for I've sinned. It's been such and such a number of days since my last confession. Right. And they may bring up a couple particular things that they've done and, and then I think the priest commonly absolves them of all of their sins. Like, almost like in an omnibus fashion and then prescribes their acts of penance, which is it, it like, honestly, it's probably things they should already be doing as a faithful Catholic saying Hail Marys and doing our fathers and acts of charity and things like that. So I think your math is probably right. [00:27:39] Protestant Repentance Particular [00:27:39] Tony Arsenal: I think your, your theory that more confession is probably like, I'm gonna read this from, uh, the Westminster confession, just to, just to say it here, is, this is chapter 15, which is titled of Repentance Under Life. And this is, uh, this is section five or paragraph five. It says, men ought not to content themselves with a general repentance, but is every man's duty to endeavor, to repent of his particular sins, particularly. And I think that's just such a beautifully phrased sentence like. Not only is it like potent theologically, but like, it just, it just feels good, like in terms of like the English language to repent of your particular sins, particularly. And like the idea is yes, Protestant reform, Christians affirm a general repentance from sin, right? We repent of our sin before the father, uh, as a result of our, of our coming to faith in Christ. And as part of our sanctification, we mortify our sin and we, Viv we are vivified by the spirit and repentance falls in that ongoing sanctification process. And there is this general repentance of like, I repent of the fact that I'm a sinner and that I commit sins, but there is this element in the reformed faith of like, I should be confessing to God. And I think by extension, like we should be confessing to our fellow Christians, our particular sins, our individual sins, and we should be doing that on particular occasion. And I think like. The Luther style confession of like going into the confessor and confessing like every particular sin. Particularly I think most Roman Catholic priests would, priests. Priests would probably have the same reaction Tobits did where he was like, get outta here. Like, come on dude. Like just go live your life and like deal with it. I think that's probably the reaction most Catholic priests would have. But yeah, I think you're right. Like if we're really talking about like. Five, five minutes of confession once a month and that somehow having some sort of spiritual efficacy. I'm not sure I buy that math. Like I think you're, you're probably spot on.  [00:29:47] Jesse Schwamb: Yeah.  [00:29:47] Confession Hours Oddities [00:29:47] Jesse Schwamb: I just was curious about how many priests would be required and then the allocation of the duties. By the way, you are right. So I, because I had to check on this, the, the fourth letter in council of 1215 does say that the church requires confession of any grave or mortal sins at least once a year. But the church, yeah, strongly encourages more frequent confession as a spiritual practice, even for, of course, like the venial or the less serious sins in their eyes. So yeah, my thought here was just that. I think it's actually undervalued by way of the math. Like the, as the kids say, the math just isn't math thing for me on this one. But I was more curious about, since this is one of the seven sacraments, even if you just said like, well, it should have at least one seven of the allocation. That's like, what? Like something like 14%. And so this is, um, almost half of that. I just found it a little bit, a little bit odd and yeah, I think you'd have to be, uh, so in other words, when I looked at the, basically, here's the bottom line. When I looked at the hours for confession one, there were weird times and uh, two, I was like, that doesn't seem like enough hours. Like, it was just more like that. Like how that's like saying like, Hey, the post office is open three hours a week, and by the way, one of those hours is from seven to eight o'clock on Friday. Like they had some hours. One hour just on Friday was like, I guess that's the way you wanna start your weekend is like, let's get all of this off my chest. Yeah. And, and do it. Right. And the last thing I'll say by the way, is you're correct. When you look at the instruction they give you, and this is common of course, toward the end, when they say like, here's how you like wrap up your part. Actually everybody should go read, go to the local, local Catholic church website and read the instructions. 'cause in some ways they're just interesting and kind of, um, I don't wanna say funny 'cause I'm not making fun. I'm just saying like, they have to give you instruction if you've never done it before. And so most of us are not really probably familiar with the process and they give you explicit instruction and toward the end it's like, here's how you kinda like hang up the call with the priest. And it's like you said, you know, these are my sins and all others, would you be willing to forgive? So you're right. Right. They just kinda wrap them all up because it's sins of omission, sense of commission, it's all to be together. But I, I wonder, you gotta think there's people in there that are like. The priests are like, okay, man, just yeah. Wrap, come on, wrap, wrap it up.  [00:31:55] Confession Timing Talk [00:31:55] Jesse Schwamb: And other people that come in are just like, you know, forgive me father. And uh, lastly to your point, when they give you instruction about how you should start, of course you're always to signify how long it's been since your last confession. Right. Confession. And they say parenthetically, like, reference the days, weeks, months, or years. So you're right. There are gonna be people that probably do it very frequently and probably people who do it infrequently still, I would say I just couldn't believe for a church this large, that there was just three hours a week.  [00:32:21] Tony Arsenal: Yeah.  [00:32:21] Jesse Schwamb: For everybody else.  [00:32:22] Tony Arsenal: Yeah.  [00:32:23] Vance and Papal Authority [00:32:23] Tony Arsenal: This leads me to two very brief sub, uh, denials slash affirmations. Uh, I don't know if you saw this, um, this is not a political statement, right? I, I have lots of feelings and thoughts about the current administration and I think most of my feelings and thoughts would surprise. Everybody. But I thought it was hilarious because JD Vance, who is a Roman Catholic, uh, confessed Roman Catholic part of the Roman Catholic Church, uh, he ha I, I'm not sure if I'm affirming or denying this, there was this funny, uh, funny exchange. I think he was at doing like a, doing like a TPU, I don't know, speech. He was doing a speech at some conservative event and he said something like, I think that the Pope should be more careful when he makes theological statements. I'm wanna be like, do you understand what the pope is in your religion? That was one of my sub denials. Uh, I don't remember what the other one is, so it must not have been that important. It'll come back to me at the worst possible moment and I will try very hard not to interrupt our show for it, but I probably will fail.  [00:33:25] Jesse Schwamb: Yeah.  [00:33:25] Reading Matthew 21 [00:33:25] Jesse Schwamb: Listen, we, we gotta get to some scripture because. We're, we're doing this old school style where we take like half the time and just talk about affirmations. It's true in house. It's true. Which is great fun. But let's, let's get back to Matthew 21. And I, I know we did this last time, but I am gonna rock through the passage 'cause of course, that's the best part of any of our discussion, is actually hearing from, from the Holy Spirit through the scripture, uh, which he's given to us. So this is, uh, Matthew 21, starting in verse 33. And you're gonna hear the, the whole thing right here. Uh, this is Jesus speaking. Listen to another parable. There was a landowner who planted a vineyard and put a wall around it and dug a wine press in it and built a tower and rented it out to vine growers and went on a journey. Now, when the high risk time approached, he sent his slaves to the vine growers to receive his fruit, and the vine growers took his slaves and beat one, killed another, and stoned a third. Again, he sent another group of slaves larger than the first, and they did the same thing to them. But afterward he sent his son to them saying they will respect my son. But when the vine growers saw the sun, they said among themselves, this is the heir. Come let us kill him and seize his inheritance, and they took him and threw him out of the vineyard and killed him. Therefore, when the owner of the vineyard comes, what will he do to those vine growers? They said to him, he will bring those wretches to a wretched end and will rent out the vineyard to other vine growers who will pay him the proceeds at the proper seasons. Jesus said to them, did you ever read in the scriptures the stone, which the builders rejected? This has become the chief cornerstone. This came about from the Lord, and it is marvelous in our eyes. Therefore, I say to you, the kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a nation producing the fruit of it. And he who falls in the stone will be broken to pieces, but on whomever it falls, it will scatter him like dust. And when the chief priests and the Pharisees heard his parables, they understood that he was speaking about them. And although they were seeking to seize him, they feared the crowds because they're regarding him to be a prophet. [00:35:28] Tony Arsenal: Yeah. Yeah.  [00:35:30] Pharisees Condemn Themselves [00:35:30] Tony Arsenal: This is like a super heavy parable. Right. And we talked a lot last week about how like the point of this parable is not necessarily to try to instruct the Pharisees or the Sadducees. Like it's not to instruct the people who were going to reject Christ, uh, the, the builders who would reject the cornerstone. It's really a parable to teach those. Who are observing this process happening. But I think it's, I, I think it's really interesting just listening to you read this and reading through it, and I guess this is a question I haven't asked and I, I need to study a little bit more. It's crazy to me in verse 41, um, Christ seems the, the, the, um, Matthew seems to say here, and maybe I need to do a little bit more Greek study, so bear with me and, and have grace if I'm wrong here. Matthew seems to say that like Christ asks the people he's speaking to, the Pharisees he's speaking to, what is he gonna do to these people? And the Pharisees answer, he's gonna put those wretches to a miserable death.  [00:36:36] Jesse Schwamb: Right?  [00:36:37] Tony Arsenal: Like the people listening to this parable understand the outcome, like they understand the. The consequence that the, the, the vineyard owner or the vineyard tenant tenants are facing based on their lack of faithfulness to the covenant. To me, that is like a really striking part of this parable. And, and it's not even like the parable proper, but like the striking element of the context of this is that nobody listening to this parable, including the Pharisees that this parable has basically spoken against, nobody fails to see the gravity of the consequence of rejecting God's emissary, like rejecting the Messiah. That to me is like a really, I dunno, paradigmatic. Portion of this that I think we need to grapple with. This is not an unclear, an unclear outcome. This is not, this is not masked or vague or OPA opaque. Like everybody understands, the people who reject the Messiah are going to face dire and eternal consequences for that act. [00:37:48] Jesse Schwamb: That does make this really interesting, doesn't it? Because it's not just entirely like Romans one adventures or even Romans two. It's that this is what Jesus does and he does it in a profound way that's not trickery like I think kinda like you're saying like the lead up to this isn't as if he's even leading the witness. He's making it very clear, all like the parameters of the story and the characters involved and what should be the proper judgment. And it's not as if like they start saying, they're like, oh, we shouldn't say anything more like we, we plead the fifth because it's gonna condemn ourselves. He draws his audience in to producing and pronouncing like their own sentence. It's very much like, I think I mentioned this last time, the prophet Nathan and David, isn't it? It's the exact same. Yeah. And the verdict is unanswerable, like even in its own terms. These other, like these other vine growers, prefigures of course like the inclusion of the Gentiles and the apostolic office. But I like that what Jesus does here, even before he gets to that point, is he extorts from them an acknowledgement of the punishment which awaited them. And so in this way there's like, I think the Puritans use this passage a lot actually to demonstrate that the natural conscience even of like the unregenerate, still bears witness to divine justice. That's Romans two. Like they, they can't get out from underneath it and Jesus isn't using any trickery on them to get them to say this thing. They are compelled in their own way, even being unregenerate to, like you said, even as they're rejecting the Messiah to recognize that punishment is due these characters in the story, even as they perceive at the end that they are those characters. [00:39:21] Tony Arsenal: Yeah.  [00:39:22] Jesse Schwamb: Saying we'll receive the judgment.  [00:39:24] Tony Arsenal: Yeah.  [00:39:25] Usurpers Not Misguided [00:39:25] Tony Arsenal: And I think too, like, um, this is kind of one of those chicken or the egg scenarios, right? Like Christ is both recognizing the intention of their heart as well as prophesying. And, and not just prophesying, but like inception level prophesying the, the outcome of the intention of their heart. And so like, again, like we've, we spent a whole week kind of like leading into the parable and now we spent a whole week, we're gonna spend a whole week again kind of leading into the parable. This is such a deep parable, and that like Christ is not just laying bare. The fact that the, the people who were going to reject him were doing so out of this sort of like attempt and intention of usurping the kingdom of God for their own purposes. I think that brings a layer to this that we don't often appreciate in. Christ's interaction with the Pharisees. I think sometimes, and maybe this is because I just listened to an episode of where Matt Whitman on the 10 minute Bible hour talked about this. I think sometimes we actually have a tendency to sort of be sympathetic to the Pharisees where we think, you know, they were, they were just trying to obey God's law and they got a little sideways on it and you know, they were putting these boundaries in place, but they were doing it in this sort of like misguided attempt to protect the people. Christ actually here seems to contradict that in that the comparison he's making is not to a, a well-intentioned group of people who just get it wrong, but he's painting the Pharisees, the, the religious leaders, the Sadducees, the chief priests. He's painting them as these usurpers who recognize the proper authority of right. The master and his emissaries and ultimately of his son, they recognize this proper authority and rather than submitting to it and submitting to the covenant obligations that they, they already actually agreed to, instead of doing that, they're going to reject that authority and try to take it for their own right. It's not just that they do the wrong thing, it's that they recognize the heir, which is Christ. They recognize this heir and they kill him to try to take his place. That is a really heavy element of this parable. Christ is not painting. Um, the, the, the Pharisees here, the, the religious leaders. He's not painting them as um, well-intentioned, but ultimately wrong, which is I think a lot of times, and I think there's reason to do this right. I'm not being overly critical and I've done this, I've actually done this myself, and I think there's some. Space for it. Like the Pharisees were wrong, but they were wrong, kind of in the right direction sometimes. Um, Christ is not really on board with that, at least in this parable. Right. This isn't about them thinking that the heir was a threat, and so killing the threat in, you know, inadvertently this is them absolutely seeing who the hair, who the heir is, and intentionally deciding to reject that heir and to murder him and to try to take his inheritance. Mm-hmm. That's an affront to not only the heir who they murder, but an affront to the owner of the vineyard himself, which of course in this parable is figured to be God the father primarily. But God in sort of general terms, like the whole Godhead, um, with Christ as the second Adam has, as his representative, as his heir. This is a really heavy parable and I think where this comes into play for us in our own Christian life is. Are there times where we. Sort of do the same thing in refusing to, maybe it's tie into your denial a little bit. Like refusing to acknowledge our own sinfulness, refusing to acknowledge the ways that God has provided for us. Um, do we at times look at what we have and lay claim to it as though it is our own inheritance that we've taken? Um, right. Do we kind of crucify the son of God anew in, in refusing to repent of our sins particularly? I dunno. I think those are some open questions for us to kind of explore as we dig into this a bit more. [00:43:54] Jesse Schwamb: And that may relate as well to, well eventually at some point, I dunno, like 2040, get to like the parable of the talents. There's some similarity there with a little bit, right? You're saying? I think you're right.  [00:44:06] God Does All the Verbs [00:44:06] Jesse Schwamb: And where I think we can anchor some of that is in those first couple of verses. I'm really always impressed by really the number of action verbs that are packed within, like that just initial statement of Jesus explaining the situation. [00:44:19] Tony Arsenal: Yeah.  [00:44:19] Jesse Schwamb: So he sets it all up and he's saying there's a planting that goes on, this landowner puts up a wall, digs a wine press. Builds a tower and then RINs it. So there's all these like amazing things being done, all this action verb. And I, I think in part why he comes against the Pharisees so hard in the same way that we're looking at like the parable that, uh, the, uh, talents for instance of saying like, what did you do with that was entrusted to you was like this great treasure which Christ has entrusted or God has entrusted to his people, which is, is the gospel essentially is, is all a prophetic witness, is like the truth of who God is and his revelation of himself. And so I think. The first thing we gotta see in those verbs is that there's this emphasis that the vineyard was God's sovereign creation. You know, he plants it, he chose it, he established it. Israel didn't plant herself. She was planted. And that sovereign initiative is foundational, I think in, like you're saying, the parables indictment, because these vine growers, they don't possess anything that they did not receive. Right. You know, they did not find a vineyard already planted, but God himself made it from the wilderness that all his glory, all the glory might be his. So. I think it's helpful for us to observe that the church is always the planting of the Lord and that no congregation flourishes that is not first planted by God. And so there is a major offense here when those who are to care for it, who know, like you're saying, that they ought to care for it, who understand something about the hierarchy and the way it has been entrusted to them. Not to only break that covenant, but then seek to try to usurp the power in the roles of those whom they should be, quite frankly, in our own language, like under shepherds too. And so it starts with all, all those verbs. Like I think we could probably spend a. A lot of times just speaking about what does it mean? Why? Why is there all this explicit in particular language about the fact that there's a hedge and there's a press besides just these are part in piece mail or part and parcel of what it means to have a vineyard, apparently, but that they're all part of this narrative of God talking about how he protects and cares for his people and sets them in a place and chooses them and is particular about the construction and does so with great volition and authority and care and concern and creative ability. And then again, you have those who are meant there to do the very job that he's entrusted them with. And not only are they not doing that, and of course you're right. Jesus elsewhere, comes in, comes in hot, right, with a Pharisees saying like, listen, you set burdens on people's backs that you yourselves cannot lift. You're twice as in the hell as anybody else, and that's who you are. Yeah. It's not just hypocrisy, but you're literally setting people up to fail in this. So you can see how you're right. It's not just like, guys, I appreciate that. Like you wanted to set up some additional boundaries and maybe you took it a little bit too far. This parable is just scorched earth. It's, it's nuclear. Yeah.  [00:47:10] Tony Arsenal: Yeah.  [00:47:11] Scandalous Vineyard Setup [00:47:11] Tony Arsenal: And you know, I think, um, we are obviously gonna spend another week on this 'cause we still have not really addressed a single verse in this parable. I, I think like a lot of ink has been spilled on explaining sort of like the feal agricultural arrangements of this passage. What it represents. M my understanding is. A typical arrangement would be that a, a landowner would basically just lease out land and the tenants would be responsible for the planting, for the development. Right. And the, the, the landowner would essentially just collect a portion of whatever they produce. Right. This parable is actually taking this a step further. Exactly. That it's not as though the landowner just says like, all right, you can use this land. Right. And I own the land, so I get a portion of the pro, the profit. He's actually done all the work. Yes. And all that. The, all that the, the tenants need to do essentially is reap the harvest and then provide the portion of the harvest that belongs to the landowner, and so there is a greater investment. Of the landowner into this land than would be expected. We've commented in the past about how a lot of times the, the parables start on sort of a premise of shock. Like there's a, there's an element of the setup of the, of the parable where the audience would kind of like sit back and gasp or kind of be like, wait a second. Like that's not normal. Right. In the parable of the, the, um, lost son, it was the idea that like the son demanded his inheritance. And that wasn't the shocking part. The shocking part was that the father just granted it. Right. Or, um, the lost sheep, like the, there's actually a sort of a shocking element to the fact that like the, the land, the like sheep owner would just go get this other sheep. So we've, we've commented on there's kind of like. There's sort of like a scandalous setup. The scandalous setup in this is not that the land has been leased to tenants, right? It's that the land has been prepared for the tenants before it was leased out in the first place. And I think that's something we might miss if we read over this too quickly, is. The landowner has prepared everything for these, these tenants.  [00:49:30] Jesse Schwamb: That's right.  [00:49:31] Tony Arsenal: So the, the, at the, the punchline of the parable where they refuse to acknowledge the sovereignty of, um, sovereignty and maybe a lowercase s in the, in the context of the parable, they refuse to acknowledge the sovereignty and the rightful claim of the tenant or of the landowner on the, the profit of the land. And sort of like highlighter emphasized by the fact that they actually didn't do any of the work. There's a certain kind of like Amer, like American rugged individualism where we're kind of like, yeah, like if I planted all the crops, then it's kind of lame that this guy's coming in expecting to take a portion of it, right? Like, yeah, I guess he owns the land, so maybe he gets a little piece of it, but like, who does he think he is? All of that already is already short circuited. Like I. The, these tenants are not actually, um, portrayed as doing anything in this parable. That's right. Like they just lease the land. They, they, um, and leased is not really like the right. The right word, the, the Greek word is omi, which is like he gave over the land to them. Um, when we say leased, we have this idea that like the tenants pay to use the land and then like part of their contract is that whatever profits they reap, uh, off the land goes back to the, to the landowner. This is really more like the landowner graciously allowed them to live on this land, and the only payment he required was that they would eventually provide him part of the profit back. Like he's planted the land, he's put up the fence around it. He dug the wine press so that they could make a product out of it. He built the tower so it would be defended. Yes. And he gave it over to them essentially just to like live on until it was time for the harvest. And all he is asking for is basically like, alright, so this is my land. I've planted the vineyards, the profit is mine to have. And so when the time came for him to come claim that that's where they have now rejected him. Yes. That's where they've now said like, I know you did all the work and really graciously allowed us to live in this land, but we're gonna keep all of it for ourselves. That's the scandal of this. That's what I think like the original audience would've set up and like, wait a second here. Like, hold on. They didn't even plant the vineyards themselves. They didn't even build the tower themselves. That's really the force of this that I think we miss when we, when we overemphasize, trying to think through like what the original agricultural arrangements were. 'cause this is painted. Very different than what the original arrangements would've been typical for. Like this is a different scenario and I think intentionally so,  [00:52:09] Jesse Schwamb: and we need those words like rented, at least in English, to help us understand that it didn't belong to them. It wasn't a gift, right? It wasn't as if like it was just turned over in the sense that it belongs to you now do with it what you will. And it's very clear in the passage one, like you said, that the landowner does all those things. So it was a, you know, he completely set it up. I mean, this is just such a beautiful, I think, depiction of the hold of prophetic, you know, understanding of God's word here, but it's very clear that says the, he sent his slaves to the vine growers to receive his fruit. So you're right. The scandal is that they're like, well, obviously. They need to give him his fruits, like  [00:52:48] Tony Arsenal: right.  [00:52:48] Jesse Schwamb: It was all set up before he left on this long journey. He then turned it over to them to care for, and that was really all that they were supposed to do. They had no role in this. And so it does like lead us in into this weird space where it's like, well, well what, what did the Pharisees think they were trying to do themselves? What does actually Jesus commenting on, on their own, like licit on their own initiative here, is he basically saying that not only are they not respecting his sovereignty, but they were trying to claim for themselves what only rightly belongs to God that even their position right. Society in culture as their representatives, God himself, they wanted to take that over for themselves, which he does bring that condemnation upon them in other parts of the scripture. So again, this is really hot. I think it's a, it's both heat and light, but there's no doubt that there's fire to this, right? Because it's a direct indictment that God the father set all of this up. You yourselves are on rented property, but guess what? Even the property that you've rented, I'm not exacting a tax from you as if like you have put forward and grown or supplied or created some kind of profitable outcome here. And I just want a piece of that. He's not even talking about tithing in that sense. What he's basically saying is, none of this belongs to you. Like how? Right? How dare you? None of this is yours. I set all of this up and in fact, because you've done so poor poorly at this, I'm gonna take it away from you and give it to those who actually produce fruit and guess what's gonna be the Gentiles? So it's, there's a wild. Amounts of condemnation packed into a very small story.  [00:54:19] Tony Arsenal: Yeah. Yeah. It really is.  [00:54:22] Tenants Add Nothing [00:54:22] Tony Arsenal: Um, there is nothing expected of these tenants. Right. There's no contract, like there's no terms, they, they really add nothing to the, the landowner's land, except I guess maybe they're the ones harvesting these, this fruit. Right. But even that's not explicit in the parable.  [00:54:43] Jesse Schwamb: Exactly.  [00:54:43] Tony Arsenal: Right. Right. He, he does all just to steal your thunder, like he does all the verbs. Yes. All of the ves are done by the landowner.  [00:54:50] Jesse Schwamb: Yes. Right  [00:54:51] Tony Arsenal: on. There is an implication that the, the tenants are somehow like the ones harvesting this, or they're the ones producing the wine, I guess, in the wine vat or the wine press. But at the end of the day. A normal tenant landowner agreement would be, I'm, you're, first of all, you're probably gonna pay me to use this land, right? You're paying me to use this land, and the way you pay me is you're gonna plant the, the gr the crop. You're gonna harvest it. You're gonna make the produce, and all I'm gonna do is let you live on this land. I'm gonna take the pro, like the profit, you're gonna pay me outta that profit. There is nothing asked or expected of these, th

In this powerful episode of The Reformed Brotherhood, Tony and Jesse dive deep into Matthew 21:33-46, examining Jesus's parable of the wicked tenants. The hosts unpack how Christ masterfully draws the Pharisees into pronouncing their own condemnation, revealing not merely theological error but intentional usurpation of God's authority. Through careful exegesis, they explore the shocking setup of the parable—where the landowner does all the work while the tenants contribute nothing—and how this mirrors God's sovereign initiative in salvation. The discussion touches on confession, the value of full-time ministry, and the scandal of rejecting the Messiah despite recognizing His authority. This episode challenges listeners to examine whether they, like the Pharisees, attempt to claim God's work as their own. Key Takeaways God Does All the Verbs: The parable emphasizes that the landowner planted, built, protected, and prepared everything—the tenants contributed nothing yet claimed ownership of the fruit. Self-Pronounced Condemnation: Jesus draws the Pharisees into declaring their own judgment, demonstrating that even the unregenerate conscience bears witness to divine justice (Romans 2). Intentional Usurpation, Not Mere Error: The Pharisees weren't well-intentioned but misguided; they recognized Christ's authority as the heir and deliberately murdered Him to seize His inheritance. The Scandal of Grace: The parable's shocking element is that the landowner prepared everything before leasing the land—far exceeding normal agricultural arrangements and illustrating God's unmerited favor. Ecclesial Support for Ministry: The OPC presbytery's decision to fund a full-time call demonstrates how church structure can honor the ministry of Word and sacrament by freeing ministers from worldly distractions. Particular Repentance Matters: Westminster Confession 15.5 teaches that believers should not content themselves with general repentance but "endeavor to repent of his particular sins, particularly." The Stone Rejected Becomes Chief: Christ's citation of Psalm 118 reveals that the very rejection by the builders (religious leaders) was God's plan to establish the cornerstone of salvation. Key Concepts God Does All the Verbs The concentration of action verbs attributed solely to the landowner in Matthew 21:33 is theologically significant. The landowner plants, builds, digs, and rents—creating a fully functional, productive vineyard before the tenants ever arrive. This arrangement differs radically from typical first-century agricultural practices, where tenants would lease raw land and develop it themselves, sharing profits with the landowner. Jesus deliberately presents an extraordinary scenario where the tenants receive everything prepared and ready, requiring only stewardship of what already exists. This parallels God's sovereign initiative in election and salvation: believers contribute nothing to their standing before God, receiving instead a fully accomplished redemption. The Pharisees' rebellion wasn't against burdensome requirements but against simply acknowledging God's rightful ownership of what He alone created. Intentional Usurpation, Not Mere Error The hosts challenge the common sympathetic reading of the Pharisees as well-intentioned legalists who simply got sidetracked. Instead, verse 38 reveals the tenants explicitly recognize the son as heir and plot to murder him to "seize his inheritance." This isn't accidental rejection but calculated rebellion. The Pharisees weren't confused about Jesus's identity or authority—they understood precisely who He claimed to be and deliberately chose to destroy Him rather than submit. This interpretation carries significant weight for understanding the nature of unbelief: it's not primarily intellectual confusion but volitional rebellion. The religious leaders didn't need more evidence or clearer teaching; they needed transformed hearts. This same dynamic appears whenever humans recognize divine truth yet choose self-sovereignty over submission to God's rightful claim on their lives. The Scandal of Grace The parable begins with a scandalous premise that would have startled Jesus's original audience. Unlike normal tenant farming arrangements where landowners simply provided land in exchange for a share of whatever the tenants produced through their own labor, this landowner invests everything. He doesn't just own the property—he plants the vineyard, constructs the protective wall, digs the wine press for production, and builds the watchtower for defense. The tenants receive a turnkey operation requiring minimal effort. This extravagant preparation mirrors God's unmerited favor toward Israel and, by extension, the church. God didn't merely create humanity and wait to see what we would produce; He established covenants, sent prophets, preserved His Word, and ultimately sent His Son—all before requiring any response. The only "payment" demanded is acknowledging His ownership of what He created. The parable thus exposes the absurdity and ingratitude of claiming God's work as our own achievement. Memorable Quotes God does all the verbs. All of the verbs are done by the landowner. There is nothing expected of these tenants—they really add nothing to the landowner's land. Christ is not painting the Pharisees as well-intentioned but ultimately wrong. He's painting them as usurpers who recognize the proper authority and rather than submitting to it, they're going to reject that authority and try to take it for their own. Men ought not to content themselves with a general repentance, but it is every man's duty to endeavor to repent of his particular sins, particularly. (Westminster Confession 15.5) Transcript Welcome to episode 491 of the Reformed Brotherhood. I'm Jesse.  [00:01:12] Tony Arsenal: And I'm Tony. And this is the podcast with ears to hear. Hey brother.  [00:01:17] Jesse Schwamb: Hey brother.  [00:01:18] Parable of Tenants [00:01:18] Jesse Schwamb: So picture this, Tony, your landlord. You've built the perfect vineyard. We're talking wall watchtower, wine, press, the works like what everybody says. Everybody knows you need all those things. You've got it all set up, and then you hand the keys to some tenants. You take a long trip, you go enjoy yourself. And when the harvest rolls around, you send your servants to collect the rent. And shockingly, your tenants, they beat. Stone. Another, the kill a third. So naturally you think, you know what? I'll fix this. Lemme just send more people. That's obviously the problem. There's some kind of just profound misunderstanding about what's going on here and about our relationship in this business. And then when that doesn't work, you send your son now loved ones. If this were a business strategy, we would already be calling hr. But of course it's not a business strategy, it's a parable. And Jesus is telling it to the very people about to prove the parable true. So welcome back to the Reformed Brotherhood because we're in Matthew Chapter 21 and we're gonna be actually getting all the way into the parable of the Vine growers where the patience of God looks, I would say, to almost anybody else, to humanize at least almost reckless until you realize that's exactly the point. So yeah, grab your beverage of choice, grab your Bible, pull the car over, will you? Because this is gonna get real and we're going to reason together. But before we do all of that, let's do a little affirming with or denying against, what do you got?  [00:02:41] Inside Baseball Affirmation [00:02:41] Tony Arsenal: So this is a sort of inside baseball, uh, affirmation. Um, I'm not sharing anything, although it may feel like I'm sharing something that is private and like, uh, like confidential. It's not No, this is good. Um, so I had the opportunity to visit. Um, my presbytery, um, for those who are listeners of the show or people who like, have been with us a long time, um, I was part of a Baptist church. Uh, I've always kind of been a Presbyterian at heart, but, um, our church closed, uh, a little over a year and a half ago now. And, um, uh, I've joined an OPC congregation in membership now. We've been members there for about a year. And, um, so I've been visiting Presbytery, which is the, the meeting of all of the leadership of all of the churches. So we won't do a polity breakdown here, but basically like, it's, it's the regional meeting. It's the regional business meeting or church meeting for a group of churches in the OPC, the Orthodox Presbyterian Church. And so a lot of the meetings, you know, have the normal kind of business type stuff. You have reports from different committee committees and stuff. Um.  [00:03:48] Presbytery Call Debate [00:03:48] Tony Arsenal: Where this is affirmation is coming in here is at this most recent presbytery meeting, um, was pretty heavy on, um, licensing or, or, uh, not licensing on approving men who had received a call to formal ministry within the presbytery. And so in the OPC, and I would imagine that other Presbyterian bodies are not like super different, although I'm sure there's some variation in the OPC. Um, when a church intends to extend a call to a pastor, to a teaching elder, um, to a minister, they must have the call, which is. Is both theological but is also eminently practical. Like the call is a physical piece of paper that details, you know, what the pay is, how much vacation time. So it's kind of a combination between like a theological call and also a contract. Um, the presbytery has to approve that call. And so at this most recent one, there was a couple calls that were more or less uncontroversial. There was no question about them, and they were approved pretty quickly. But there was one call, um, one call to ministry that took, I, I, I didn't time it, but it was probably like four or five hours of debate and discussion in various fashion in order to get to a point where the presbytery could approve the call. So this was a call to a minister who is being called part-time, which is unusual in the Orthodox Presbyterian Church. Um, the OPC uh, acknowledges the fact that bivocational tent making ministry is sometimes a necessity, but really views the ministry of the word in sacrament as something that should not have. Distractions. And actually our book of church order talks about, doesn't use the word distraction, I think, but it talks about a, a properly ordered call to a full-time minister includes phrasing that the congregation promises to compensate them in a way that allows them to be free of worldly burdens and cares. And I might have not, not have gotten that wording exactly right. But that's the idea. And so this call was. Explicitly, um, not a full-time call it, they actually took the language out of promising to pay him in a way that he's able to ignore or to not be distracted by worldly care. And that was intentional, but there was a lot of question in discussion at presbytery level about the fact that the call did not include the phrase or the wording of part-time or bivocational. So the conversation started out of like, can this call be modified to include that? So it's explicitly known in this man's call that his calling is part-time, which is both theological, to make sure that the call is properly formatted, but also like very practical that the congregation should acknowledge explicitly that they recognize that this person is not, not going to be putting, you know, 40 hours a week or 50 hours a week towards this position. [00:06:34] Jesse Schwamb: Right.  [00:06:34] Tony Arsenal: Um. What I'm affirming is where it got to, right? So there was lots of discussion about that. There was some finagling about the retirement package. The OPC recommends that a, a minister be given a retirement contribution of no less than 5% a year of his salaried package. Um, which there's a couple line items that go into that, but 5%, and this was a little bit less than that. And this is what I'm affirming and this, I, I don't know that this is a super widespread thing that would happen all across the, um, the OPC, but it happened in the presbytery of New York and New England this past week, and it's just amazing. And I just, I just want to lay it out there and then I want to hear your reaction. [00:07:13] Funding Full Time Ministry [00:07:13] Tony Arsenal: And I, I wanna hear your reaction as the son of a minister who labored his entire adult, more or less, his entire adult career in ministry, working two or three additional jobs on top of his ministry, the presbytery decided. That because it did not like the idea of a part-time minister. They didn't think that was appropriate. They didn't think that that was good or that that was really the right goal. The presbytery allocated, I'm not gonna say the figures 'cause they're not super germane, but allocated a significant amount of money to be dis to be dispersed to the church for the next three years in order to take what was a part-time call and enable it to become a full-time call. [00:07:54] Jesse Schwamb: Wow.  [00:07:54] Tony Arsenal: And so there are a lot of, there are a lot of church bodies that would say, yeah, we don't love the idea of bi-vocational ministry. You know, we really think it's ideal that a minister could be full-time. Um, they may even put some, some theological freight behind that. Um, I have never encountered a body, um. That was willing to put a sizable amount of money towards essentially supplementing a part-time call to make it full-time. Um, this was just amazing to me, and the candidate was there. I didn't get a chance to talk to him, but I would love to talk to him about what he felt. I, I can just imagine the phone call to his wife who was not, not at presbytery, but to his wife, following the outcome of this to be like, you are never gonna believe what just happened. Right? This is a family who was intending to move across country. Right. He's currently a student at Westminster, California in seminary, uh, California, Westminster Seminary in California, finishing his M Div. They're planning a cross country move into a part-time position where she's probably gonna have to find a job, and then also he's gonna have to find a part-time job. He had the ability to call her on the break and be like, you're never gonna guess what just happened? You're never gonna,  [00:09:09] Jesse Schwamb: it's wild.  [00:09:09] Tony Arsenal: Uh, sorry, I'm getting a little emotional here. You're never going to. Believe how faithful God is in this. Right. So I'm interested to hear your reaction to that as the son of a, of a try and quad at times Quad vocational. Yeah,  [00:09:23] Jesse Schwamb: for sure.  [00:09:23] Tony Arsenal: Minister who labored his entire, more or less, his entire adult career, um, working full-time in a call as a part-time, part-time minister. You know, like that's a, that's a crazy situation. So I'm just affirming that again, I don't know how common that kind of thing is in the OPC. I don't wanna make it seem like that's the norm. Um, I actually get the sense that this is probably not the norm, but it was amazing to see and it made me in intensely like. Proud in the right way of being a part of this broader body that would, would so emphasize and so value the ministry of the word and the sacrament, and the importance of a man being able to dedicate himself to that without distraction. That they would put forward this amount of money and this kind of money. They had no reason to do so. And there's no real direct benefit to the presbytery for doing this. I mean, there's an indirect benefit of like not having a church with a part-time minister, but like there's no direct benefit to this. There's no direct return on investments that's gonna come out of this. Um, it was pretty amazing to see. It was, it was, it was super encouraging.  [00:10:28] Jesse Schwamb: That is really encouraging. I, I think it's, there's no doubt that for the called pastor, their heart is in the ministry of the word. That's what they want to be doing. They wanna be doing it all the time and as much time as they possibly can, and they wanna be able to have all of their intentional focus on it. So I. I'm excited for that guy. I mean, that's just an incredible blessing to go in hoping for funding, essentially for a part-time role and to basically be told, no, no, no, no, that's, that's not enough. We want you to be committed to this fully as we know your heart is committed. As we validated that call.  [00:11:00] Why Structure Matters [00:11:00] Jesse Schwamb: I do love being a part of churches, well, lemme say it this way. There is, I think, a benefit of being part of congregations that have like a wide resource network that has like appropriate hierarchy and structure and that can be one of them. I've seen something similar in the Christian Missionary Alliance, which is the church that I'm in, not exactly the same, but I've seen some surprising allocations of resources where they basically said, you know, this is important. Like, it even trumps we're, we're gonna. Allocate or resource something so that this can move forward because it is important in a way that was like better than the person who was bringing it before them could have hoped for. Yeah. And uh, suddenly it's as if everything aligned. And it was really in part because there was this structure to come alongside, to validate as you're saying, and then to authenticate and then again to resource assets that could be used. There's, there's something to be said for that interdependency where there is kind of this hierarchical structure in which all that's happening at a level where things are codified. And again, like there's a structure and a way in which we move through those decisions to make sure that they suit the objective of the entire movement. So I guess there's nothing I'll say, but that's a beautiful thing, isn't it?  [00:12:14] Tony Arsenal: Yeah. Yeah.  [00:12:15] Generosity in Action [00:12:15] Tony Arsenal: It was, it was, it was cool because it was like this, it was like this real. Actualization of the principle of outdoing one another and showing honor. Yeah, sure. Because you know, like the initial debate was like, Hey, you know, I'm not sure we can approve this call because the, the OPCs guidelines tell us not to approve a call that has less than 5% of the retirement benefit. And there was a lot of discussion of like, well, the presbytery can't modify the call, but we don't wanna delay this guy coming in and like, we don't wanna delay his ordination, his installation. And so the initial proposal was a, a. What feels like a large amount of money to me. But after I understood more about the, the budget of what's going on in, in the presbytery was actually a very small amount of money. Started with a very tiny, very modest proposal of basically like supplementing the retirement fund to make sure that like we could, they, I say we, like, I was part of this, I was just observing, but to supplement the retirement fund in a way that allowed the church to still proceed with the call as written, but still also make sure that this person had the appropriate retirement fund. And then that just basically was like, there would be some instruction given to the church that like, you've gotta bump this up in the next budget cycle. Like you've gotta get to the 5%. That's, that's the expectation. It went from that. And like I said, I won't give you the specific numbers, but one of the presbyters and I, I'm, I, um, I, I've known this presbyter from a distance for quite a long time and, and I have an immense amount of respect for him. He stood up and he's like, well, if we're gonna give X, why don't we just give 10 times X instead? And then actually, like the discussion was like, well, is, are we sure that 10 times X is even the right amount? Why don't we have this particular group meet over the lunch break and figure out whether that's the right number and then come back after lunch and we'll vote on it. And then they came back after lunch and it was actually a number that was even greater than 10 times X. So it was like this exercise in like. This very small proposal that was still imminently generous, right? The presbytery has no obligation to do this. There's no obligation from any of the presbyters to stand up and say like, we should. We should supplement this fund. They would've been well within their right, and no one would've looked, I think. I think some people would've been frustrated by it, but I don't think anyone would've looked sideways at it or thought it was sinful. If the presbytery just said like, we can't approve this call. You guys are gonna have to come back with it and we'll vote on it at the next presbytery. Like that would've been problematic. This, this kind of poor guy who's coming outta seminary, his call and his beginning of employment would've been delayed, but like. That would've been good and orderly, but instead they were like, one, we don't want this pulpit to stay empty longer. We don't wanna disadvantage this guy who's just getting done with seminary. We want him to get started. We don't wanna discourage him. So here's a small proposal, a very modest amount of money that we can put forward for this purpose. And then it was like, let's just keep seeing how much closer to a real full-time call we can get. And they finally came back and said like, we're gonna do this. We're gonna do this in a wise fashion. They structured it. So like the first year he gets more, the second year he gets a little bit less. The third year the church gets a little bit less with the idea that like each year the church should be adjusting their budget to compensate and get this guy to that with the, the hope that like with a full-time minister, they're able to grow their congregation to the point where they can support a full-time minister. So it was just this really cool, super encouraging exercise. And what I loved about it is the only real debate that was going on was about do we need to do more? There was no one being like, wait a second, why are we, why are we putting more money to this? The whole thing was like, is this actually enough to accomplish what we think God wants to do with this person's call? Because if, if God is truly calling this man to this, this particular church, and we believe that he is. Then what do we as a, as a people of God need to do to enable that call to look like what we actually believe calls to ministry are supposed to look like, which is a full-time call to ministry that is undistracted by the cares of the world. What do we need to do? The answer in this case was like, I think we need to put a sizable amount of money to it. Um, it's a, I mean, and again. I'm not gonna say it on the air. It was not a small chunk of change. Um, it was, it was a, it was a large amount of money that was devoted to this cause and that just goes to show how much this body values the importance of a full-time minister of the word, so. [00:16:50] Jesse Schwamb: Right.  [00:16:51] OPC Love and Recommendation [00:16:51] Tony Arsenal: That's enough about that. I, I could gush about how proud I am to be a part of this body and how encouraged I am and how amazing it was and how awesome this, this guy, how, how much this guy must be thanking God for the providence and like, this is the last thing. I'll say this, this young man younger than me, I think he's graduating seminary. I saw him across the room. He looks like he's probably in his mid twenties, right? Young guy. He's got a wife doesn't have kids yet coming into this ministry, not only is he coming into this ministry, but as a Presbyterian minister, when he's installed as the minister of this church. He will be joining this body of presbyters as the, as his brothers like. He is not a member of the local church. He's a member of the presbytery, which is the regional church. So now he's coming into this fully supported by his brothers in the presbytery that he saw go to the mat to make sure he was properly taken care of, that the congregation was not unintentionally taking advantage of his labor, but also that he knows that all of these men are willing to do what they need to do to make sure that his ministry is successful and edifies the church like that is. Uh, I don't want to gush on Presbyterianism too much, but like that is Presbyterianism at peak form, right? This is the body of elders making sure that every church in the region, even the ones they're not directly ministering in, has what it needs to succeed and to honor God and to do what needs to happen. So I'm affirming the presbytery of New York and New England and the Orthodox Presbyterian Church. Um, I have been so blessed by knowing many of these presbyters. I've been so blessed by being a part of the congregation that I am. There are lots of really great churches and really great denominations out there. If you are looking for a church and there is an OPC congregation in your area, absolutely go check it out. I know it feels stuffy sometimes, and I will admit, like sometimes it feels a little bit overly traditional in terms of like just the vibe of the congregation,  [00:18:52] Jesse Schwamb: right?  [00:18:52] Tony Arsenal: But press past that because I don't think, I don't think you will find, um. You may find lots of congregations that are as faithful. I don't think you're gonna find many that are more faithful than your average OPC congregation. So I could be wrong. I just, I just love the OPC. I just really, really love it. So that's my affirmation. What do you got for us, Jesse?  [00:19:18] Denial Catholic Confession Math [00:19:18] Jesse Schwamb: I think I got denial, which is maybe a little bit unusual for me. [00:19:21] Tony Arsenal: As long as you're not denying the OPCI think we're fine.  [00:19:23] Jesse Schwamb: No, it's, it's not, it is church related and I, I'll try to keep it short 'cause I think I can make this way longer than it, it probably should be, but lemme think how to phrase this. So, I don't know with a devil negative, I guess when I'm a denying against is maybe not enough confession by your own standard. So the, I'm gonna try to make this so brief. I, I just happened to be out with my wife this afternoon and we had to run errands. We got stuck in traffic and this gave me longer than usual to sit in front of our. Very local and very large Catholic church. So I happen to be looking at their sign. It's a very large congregation. I've been actually been in this one on a couple of occasions for funerals. So not only do I know its size and scope, but again, if you get, if you get on this road at the wrong time on the Lord's day, you're gonna be stuck for a long time because there are so many people that attend. I say that because I noticed on the sign that there were three times for mass on the Lord's Day. So that also says something about the number of people coming through. And then on the sign though, underneath it said for confessions, go to our website. Mm-hmm. So I was like, man, I gotta lick this up because I can't tell if they're telling me I can confess on the website or if it's go to the website for the times. And I said to my wife, only half jokingly, if I can confess online, I'm gonna confess something. So I went to, I went to the website and, and sure enough it was almost disappointingly. It was just the times.  [00:20:45] Tony Arsenal: Yeah.  [00:20:46] Jesse Schwamb: Here's what I've found interesting, which just launched me into this like deep rabbit hole. There were three times for confession. Two of those times were just a half an hour, and the third time was an hour. So, uh, what I did was I went through, actually, I think what they had on there was, was three full hours a week. It was a little bit confusing, but I think it was three full hours. Now I think about it. So I went back, I just couldn't help myself, Tony. So I started to think, alright, let's say. I think it's fair to assume  [00:21:15] Tony Arsenal: math, Jesse is kicking in right now. Yes. You're gonna calculate how many minutes per, per person is what you're doing. I'm thinking, ah,  [00:21:22] Jesse Schwamb: yeah, it's something like that. So what I thought was, I don't think it's, uh, I was gonna be conservative. I wanna be fair. I wanna be fair. So, and now we should say like, I think most people realize that the Catholic understanding of confession and the Protestant one is, is very different. The Catholic sacrament of confession is the right through which Catholics are gonna confess their sins to a priest receive absolution, and it's gonna restore the relationship with God in the church. And, and they're gonna believe that the priest acts as a person of Christ and is bound by the seal of confession and an absolute kind of obligation. Uh, of course never to reveal what was disclosed during that process. So, by the way, the website that I went to, lovely instructions. I mean, I was like, wow. I was reading it to my wife who was, uh, not familiar with this at all, and she was like, they can make you do stuff. And I was like, well, yeah. I mean, obviously like there's, there's a portion of this where there's contrition or penant penance. It could be a prayer, it could be act of charity, like all kinds of stuff. So I went back and I thought. I don't think it's unreasonable that there's 350 persons that would say, let's say an average, uh, that would wanna take part of confession. Now, let's say that they did that at, at least monthly, just once a month. And, and I don't know how people's conviction is on that, but I'm gonna say conservatively once a month. Let's say that, and I don't think this is unreasonable, Tony, but you tell me. Let's say you're, you're trucking, you're moving through confession. Let's say it's five minutes a piece. So we're up to 1,750 minutes, uh, per month. That's the demand on the priest because I was, I was looking at this time and I was thinking something is strange here to me, so. That was the demand then, and I'll spare you the other math, which could be very long and un uninteresting. I'm coming up with, you'd need 2.24, two and a quarter priests, which of course you can't have a quarter priests or a quarter person for any reason. So you'd hire, you'd hire three priests, which satisfy the demand if, and the major assumptions here, that is like everybody can't show up at the same time. Obviously, I'm assuming that like everybody has their own time, they're spreading it out. So everybody gets the confession, but it's just five minutes. And I, I have no idea. I mean, if you're a Luther, that's certainly not sufficient time.  [00:23:20] Tony Arsenal: Yeah.  [00:23:20] Jesse Schwamb: And you would need three priests. Now here's the thing that I just kind of backed into that, besides like three being like, okay, that, that's, you would need three priests just to satisfy this congregation. If they're confessing for five minutes, once per month. Uh, by the way, if you said, well, half the congregation is going to go weekly, uh, then you, you would double the number of priests you need to 5.98 or six. But here's, here's the bottom line for me. This is why the denial comes in about maybe not enough, is. If you were just to distill that down to like, if you could have one priest cover that time, that there's a demand for like 779.4 hours, or excuse me, minutes of confession, that priest would only be allocating approximately like seven and a half percent of their working hours, their work toward handling confession. This seems like not enough confession given the standards of confession in the Catholic church. And again, I know that I'm, I'm now allocating that to one priest and I just told everybody you need three. That's true. So if you had these three now, if you hired three just to meet the demand, that would only be about like three and a half or a little under three and a half percent of their combined time. So the denial is Catholics, I think, unless I'm way off in some of my assumptions here, you might not be confessing enough by your own standards because  [00:24:33] Tony Arsenal: Yeah.  [00:24:34] Jesse Schwamb: Uh, that seems like not enough time.  [00:24:38] Tony Arsenal: Yeah. Yeah.  [00:24:39] Ritual Faithfulness Explained [00:24:39] Tony Arsenal: I mean, I think, um. I don't want to be too bombastic here, but I think,  [00:24:46] Jesse Schwamb: I think I already started this on this  [00:24:48] Tony Arsenal: path. Maybe this, maybe this isn't all that bombastic. Um, because this is so much about ritual and actually I say this is gonna sound really, we, we go, but trying to think from the Roman Catholic perspective, it's actually not, and I'll I'll tell you a brief story, uh, to explain it. Um, a lot of Roman Catholics are just going through the motions. [00:25:13] Jesse Schwamb: That's true.  [00:25:14] Tony Arsenal: But the point, the, the, the point of contention actually is that going through the motions is valuable for the Roman Catholic, right? So I, I knew this, uh, this young woman when I was in college who was a Roman Catholic, and we had many discussions about, about the differences between Protestantism and and Roman Catholicism. And what I came to understand is that going to mass for her. Itself was an act of faith. And so for the Roman Catholic, the concept of, of faith is different than the concept that Protestants operate under. So for the Roman Catholic who, um, goes to mass, even when they feel like they're, like, when they think they're just going through the motions, going through the motions is itself the act of faith. And that's because for most of Roman Catholics, most of Roman Catholicism, faith really equals faithfulness, right? So, so doing the act is the act of faithfulness. Doing the act is faith. Where for the Protestant, like faith is about belief and trust and knowledge. Like it's, it's an. Not entirely intellectual, but it's, it's an inward thing for the Roman Catholic faith is an out is primarily an outward thing. It's what you do, it's how you act. It's faith formed in love. It's faith formed in charity.  [00:26:36] Jesse Schwamb: Right.  [00:26:37] Tony Arsenal: So I think most Roman Catholics going to obligatory confession first. I think once a month is probably like, probably more frequent than most Roman Catholics go to mass or go to confession. Um, I thought I read a stat that it was like every six months is, is pretty average and I think that's what's required by the church maybe even once a year is, is required by the church. Um, I think like most Roman Catholics go into the, the confessional booth and like father forgive me for I've sinned. It's been such and such a number of days since my last confession. Right. And they may bring up a couple particular things that they've done and, and then I think the priest commonly absolves them of all of their sins. Like, almost like in an omnibus fashion and then prescribes their acts of penance, which is it, it like, honestly, it's probably things they should already be doing as a faithful Catholic saying Hail Marys and doing our fathers and acts of charity and things like that. So I think your math is probably right. [00:27:39] Protestant Repentance Particular [00:27:39] Tony Arsenal: I think your, your theory that more confession is probably like, I'm gonna read this from, uh, the Westminster confession, just to, just to say it here, is, this is chapter 15, which is titled of Repentance Under Life. And this is, uh, this is section five or paragraph five. It says, men ought not to content themselves with a general repentance, but is every man's duty to endeavor, to repent of his particular sins, particularly. And I think that's just such a beautifully phrased sentence like. Not only is it like potent theologically, but like, it just, it just feels good, like in terms of like the English language to repent of your particular sins, particularly. And like the idea is yes, Protestant reform, Christians affirm a general repentance from sin, right? We repent of our sin before the father, uh, as a result of our, of our coming to faith in Christ. And as part of our sanctification, we mortify our sin and we, Viv we are vivified by the spirit and repentance falls in that ongoing sanctification process. And there is this general repentance of like, I repent of the fact that I'm a sinner and that I commit sins, but there is this element in the reformed faith of like, I should be confessing to God. And I think by extension, like we should be confessing to our fellow Christians, our particular sins, our individual sins, and we should be doing that on particular occasion. And I think like. The Luther style confession of like going into the confessor and confessing like every particular sin. Particularly I think most Roman Catholic priests would, priests. Priests would probably have the same reaction Tobits did where he was like, get outta here. Like, come on dude. Like just go live your life and like deal with it. I think that's probably the reaction most Catholic priests would have. But yeah, I think you're right. Like if we're really talking about like. Five, five minutes of confession once a month and that somehow having some sort of spiritual efficacy. I'm not sure I buy that math. Like I think you're, you're probably spot on.  [00:29:47] Jesse Schwamb: Yeah.  [00:29:47] Confession Hours Oddities [00:29:47] Jesse Schwamb: I just was curious about how many priests would be required and then the allocation of the duties. By the way, you are right. So I, because I had to check on this, the, the fourth letter in council of 1215 does say that the church requires confession of any grave or mortal sins at least once a year. But the church, yeah, strongly encourages more frequent confession as a spiritual practice, even for, of course, like the venial or the less serious sins in their eyes. So yeah, my thought here was just that. I think it's actually undervalued by way of the math. Like the, as the kids say, the math just isn't math thing for me on this one. But I was more curious about, since this is one of the seven sacraments, even if you just said like, well, it should have at least one seven of the allocation. That's like, what? Like something like 14%. And so this is, um, almost half of that. I just found it a little bit, a little bit odd and yeah, I think you'd have to be, uh, so in other words, when I looked at the, basically, here's the bottom line. When I looked at the hours for confession one, there were weird times and uh, two, I was like, that doesn't seem like enough hours. Like, it was just more like that. Like how that's like saying like, Hey, the post office is open three hours a week, and by the way, one of those hours is from seven to eight o'clock on Friday. Like they had some hours. One hour just on Friday was like, I guess that's the way you wanna start your weekend is like, let's get all of this off my chest. Yeah. And, and do it. Right. And the last thing I'll say by the way, is you're correct. When you look at the instruction they give you, and this is common of course, toward the end, when they say like, here's how you like wrap up your part. Actually everybody should go read, go to the local, local Catholic church website and read the instructions. 'cause in some ways they're just interesting and kind of, um, I don't wanna say funny 'cause I'm not making fun. I'm just saying like, they have to give you instruction if you've never done it before. And so most of us are not really probably familiar with the process and they give you explicit instruction and toward the end it's like, here's how you kinda like hang up the call with the priest. And it's like you said, you know, these are my sins and all others, would you be willing to forgive? So you're right. Right. They just kinda wrap them all up because it's sins of omission, sense of commission, it's all to be together. But I, I wonder, you gotta think there's people in there that are like. The priests are like, okay, man, just yeah. Wrap, come on, wrap, wrap it up.  [00:31:55] Confession Timing Talk [00:31:55] Jesse Schwamb: And other people that come in are just like, you know, forgive me father. And uh, lastly to your point, when they give you instruction about how you should start, of course you're always to signify how long it's been since your last confession. Right. Confession. And they say parenthetically, like, reference the days, weeks, months, or years. So you're right. There are gonna be people that probably do it very frequently and probably people who do it infrequently still, I would say I just couldn't believe for a church this large, that there was just three hours a week.  [00:32:21] Tony Arsenal: Yeah.  [00:32:21] Jesse Schwamb: For everybody else.  [00:32:22] Tony Arsenal: Yeah.  [00:32:23] Vance and Papal Authority [00:32:23] Tony Arsenal: This leads me to two very brief sub, uh, denials slash affirmations. Uh, I don't know if you saw this, um, this is not a political statement, right? I, I have lots of feelings and thoughts about the current administration and I think most of my feelings and thoughts would surprise. Everybody. But I thought it was hilarious because JD Vance, who is a Roman Catholic, uh, confessed Roman Catholic part of the Roman Catholic Church, uh, he ha I, I'm not sure if I'm affirming or denying this, there was this funny, uh, funny exchange. I think he was at doing like a, doing like a TPU, I don't know, speech. He was doing a speech at some conservative event and he said something like, I think that the Pope should be more careful when he makes theological statements. I'm wanna be like, do you understand what the pope is in your religion? That was one of my sub denials. Uh, I don't remember what the other one is, so it must not have been that important. It'll come back to me at the worst possible moment and I will try very hard not to interrupt our show for it, but I probably will fail.  [00:33:25] Jesse Schwamb: Yeah.  [00:33:25] Reading Matthew 21 [00:33:25] Jesse Schwamb: Listen, we, we gotta get to some scripture because. We're, we're doing this old school style where we take like half the time and just talk about affirmations. It's true in house. It's true. Which is great fun. But let's, let's get back to Matthew 21. And I, I know we did this last time, but I am gonna rock through the passage 'cause of course, that's the best part of any of our discussion, is actually hearing from, from the Holy Spirit through the scripture, uh, which he's given to us. So this is, uh, Matthew 21, starting in verse 33. And you're gonna hear the, the whole thing right here. Uh, this is Jesus speaking. Listen to another parable. There was a landowner who planted a vineyard and put a wall around it and dug a wine press in it and built a tower and rented it out to vine growers and went on a journey. Now, when the high risk time approached, he sent his slaves to the vine growers to receive his fruit, and the vine growers took his slaves and beat one, killed another, and stoned a third. Again, he sent another group of slaves larger than the first, and they did the same thing to them. But afterward he sent his son to them saying they will respect my son. But when the vine growers saw the sun, they said among themselves, this is the heir. Come let us kill him and seize his inheritance, and they took him and threw him out of the vineyard and killed him. Therefore, when the owner of the vineyard comes, what will he do to those vine growers? They said to him, he will bring those wretches to a wretched end and will rent out the vineyard to other vine growers who will pay him the proceeds at the proper seasons. Jesus said to them, did you ever read in the scriptures the stone, which the builders rejected? This has become the chief cornerstone. This came about from the Lord, and it is marvelous in our eyes. Therefore, I say to you, the kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a nation producing the fruit of it. And he who falls in the stone will be broken to pieces, but on whomever it falls, it will scatter him like dust. And when the chief priests and the Pharisees heard his parables, they understood that he was speaking about them. And although they were seeking to seize him, they feared the crowds because they're regarding him to be a prophet. [00:35:28] Tony Arsenal: Yeah. Yeah.  [00:35:30] Pharisees Condemn Themselves [00:35:30] Tony Arsenal: This is like a super heavy parable. Right. And we talked a lot last week about how like the point of this parable is not necessarily to try to instruct the Pharisees or the Sadducees. Like it's not to instruct the people who were going to reject Christ, uh, the, the builders who would reject the cornerstone. It's really a parable to teach those. Who are observing this process happening. But I think it's, I, I think it's really interesting just listening to you read this and reading through it, and I guess this is a question I haven't asked and I, I need to study a little bit more. It's crazy to me in verse 41, um, Christ seems the, the, the, um, Matthew seems to say here, and maybe I need to do a little bit more Greek study, so bear with me and, and have grace if I'm wrong here. Matthew seems to say that like Christ asks the people he's speaking to, the Pharisees he's speaking to, what is he gonna do to these people? And the Pharisees answer, he's gonna put those wretches to a miserable death.  [00:36:36] Jesse Schwamb: Right?  [00:36:37] Tony Arsenal: Like the people listening to this parable understand the outcome, like they understand the. The consequence that the, the, the vineyard owner or the vineyard tenant tenants are facing based on their lack of faithfulness to the covenant. To me, that is like a really striking part of this parable. And, and it's not even like the parable proper, but like the striking element of the context of this is that nobody listening to this parable, including the Pharisees that this parable has basically spoken against, nobody fails to see the gravity of the consequence of rejecting God's emissary, like rejecting the Messiah. That to me is like a really, I dunno, paradigmatic. Portion of this that I think we need to grapple with. This is not an unclear, an unclear outcome. This is not, this is not masked or vague or OPA opaque. Like everybody understands, the people who reject the Messiah are going to face dire and eternal consequences for that act. [00:37:48] Jesse Schwamb: That does make this really interesting, doesn't it? Because it's not just entirely like Romans one adventures or even Romans two. It's that this is what Jesus does and he does it in a profound way that's not trickery like I think kinda like you're saying like the lead up to this isn't as if he's even leading the witness. He's making it very clear, all like the parameters of the story and the characters involved and what should be the proper judgment. And it's not as if like they start saying, they're like, oh, we shouldn't say anything more like we, we plead the fifth because it's gonna condemn ourselves. He draws his audience in to producing and pronouncing like their own sentence. It's very much like, I think I mentioned this last time, the prophet Nathan and David, isn't it? It's the exact same. Yeah. And the verdict is unanswerable, like even in its own terms. These other, like these other vine growers, prefigures of course like the inclusion of the Gentiles and the apostolic office. But I like that what Jesus does here, even before he gets to that point, is he extorts from them an acknowledgement of the punishment which awaited them. And so in this way there's like, I think the Puritans use this passage a lot actually to demonstrate that the natural conscience even of like the unregenerate, still bears witness to divine justice. That's Romans two. Like they, they can't get out from underneath it and Jesus isn't using any trickery on them to get them to say this thing. They are compelled in their own way, even being unregenerate to, like you said, even as they're rejecting the Messiah to recognize that punishment is due these characters in the story, even as they perceive at the end that they are those characters. [00:39:21] Tony Arsenal: Yeah.  [00:39:22] Jesse Schwamb: Saying we'll receive the judgment.  [00:39:24] Tony Arsenal: Yeah.  [00:39:25] Usurpers Not Misguided [00:39:25] Tony Arsenal: And I think too, like, um, this is kind of one of those chicken or the egg scenarios, right? Like Christ is both recognizing the intention of their heart as well as prophesying. And, and not just prophesying, but like inception level prophesying the, the outcome of the intention of their heart. And so like, again, like we've, we spent a whole week kind of like leading into the parable and now we spent a whole week, we're gonna spend a whole week again kind of leading into the parable. This is such a deep parable, and that like Christ is not just laying bare. The fact that the, the people who were going to reject him were doing so out of this sort of like attempt and intention of usurping the kingdom of God for their own purposes. I think that brings a layer to this that we don't often appreciate in. Christ's interaction with the Pharisees. I think sometimes, and maybe this is because I just listened to an episode of where Matt Whitman on the 10 minute Bible hour talked about this. I think sometimes we actually have a tendency to sort of be sympathetic to the Pharisees where we think, you know, they were, they were just trying to obey God's law and they got a little sideways on it and you know, they were putting these boundaries in place, but they were doing it in this sort of like misguided attempt to protect the people. Christ actually here seems to contradict that in that the comparison he's making is not to a, a well-intentioned group of people who just get it wrong, but he's painting the Pharisees, the, the religious leaders, the Sadducees, the chief priests. He's painting them as these usurpers who recognize the proper authority of right. The master and his emissaries and ultimately of his son, they recognize this proper authority and rather than submitting to it and submitting to the covenant obligations that they, they already actually agreed to, instead of doing that, they're going to reject that authority and try to take it for their own right. It's not just that they do the wrong thing, it's that they recognize the heir, which is Christ. They recognize this heir and they kill him to try to take his place. That is a really heavy element of this parable. Christ is not painting. Um, the, the, the Pharisees here, the, the religious leaders. He's not painting them as um, well-intentioned, but ultimately wrong, which is I think a lot of times, and I think there's reason to do this right. I'm not being overly critical and I've done this, I've actually done this myself, and I think there's some. Space for it. Like the Pharisees were wrong, but they were wrong, kind of in the right direction sometimes. Um, Christ is not really on board with that, at least in this parable. Right. This isn't about them thinking that the heir was a threat, and so killing the threat in, you know, inadvertently this is them absolutely seeing who the hair, who the heir is, and intentionally deciding to reject that heir and to murder him and to try to take his inheritance. Mm-hmm. That's an affront to not only the heir who they murder, but an affront to the owner of the vineyard himself, which of course in this parable is figured to be God the father primarily. But God in sort of general terms, like the whole Godhead, um, with Christ as the second Adam has, as his representative, as his heir. This is a really heavy parable and I think where this comes into play for us in our own Christian life is. Are there times where we. Sort of do the same thing in refusing to, maybe it's tie into your denial a little bit. Like refusing to acknowledge our own sinfulness, refusing to acknowledge the ways that God has provided for us. Um, do we at times look at what we have and lay claim to it as though it is our own inheritance that we've taken? Um, right. Do we kind of crucify the son of God anew in, in refusing to repent of our sins particularly? I dunno. I think those are some open questions for us to kind of explore as we dig into this a bit more. [00:43:54] Jesse Schwamb: And that may relate as well to, well eventually at some point, I dunno, like 2040, get to like the parable of the talents. There's some similarity there with a little bit, right? You're saying? I think you're right.  [00:44:06] God Does All the Verbs [00:44:06] Jesse Schwamb: And where I think we can anchor some of that is in those first couple of verses. I'm really always impressed by really the number of action verbs that are packed within, like that just initial statement of Jesus explaining the situation. [00:44:19] Tony Arsenal: Yeah.  [00:44:19] Jesse Schwamb: So he sets it all up and he's saying there's a planting that goes on, this landowner puts up a wall, digs a wine press. Builds a tower and then RINs it. So there's all these like amazing things being done, all this action verb. And I, I think in part why he comes against the Pharisees so hard in the same way that we're looking at like the parable that, uh, the, uh, talents for instance of saying like, what did you do with that was entrusted to you was like this great treasure which Christ has entrusted or God has entrusted to his people, which is, is the gospel essentially is, is all a prophetic witness, is like the truth of who God is and his revelation of himself. And so I think. The first thing we gotta see in those verbs is that there's this emphasis that the vineyard was God's sovereign creation. You know, he plants it, he chose it, he established it. Israel didn't plant herself. She was planted. And that sovereign initiative is foundational, I think in, like you're saying, the parables indictment, because these vine growers, they don't possess anything that they did not receive. Right. You know, they did not find a vineyard already planted, but God himself made it from the wilderness that all his glory, all the glory might be his. So. I think it's helpful for us to observe that the church is always the planting of the Lord and that no congregation flourishes that is not first planted by God. And so there is a major offense here when those who are to care for it, who know, like you're saying, that they ought to care for it, who understand something about the hierarchy and the way it has been entrusted to them. Not to only break that covenant, but then seek to try to usurp the power in the roles of those whom they should be, quite frankly, in our own language, like under shepherds too. And so it starts with all, all those verbs. Like I think we could probably spend a. A lot of times just speaking about what does it mean? Why? Why is there all this explicit in particular language about the fact that there's a hedge and there's a press besides just these are part in piece mail or part and parcel of what it means to have a vineyard, apparently, but that they're all part of this narrative of God talking about how he protects and cares for his people and sets them in a place and chooses them and is particular about the construction and does so with great volition and authority and care and concern and creative ability. And then again, you have those who are meant there to do the very job that he's entrusted them with. And not only are they not doing that, and of course you're right. Jesus elsewhere, comes in, comes in hot, right, with a Pharisees saying like, listen, you set burdens on people's backs that you yourselves cannot lift. You're twice as in the hell as anybody else, and that's who you are. Yeah. It's not just hypocrisy, but you're literally setting people up to fail in this. So you can see how you're right. It's not just like, guys, I appreciate that. Like you wanted to set up some additional boundaries and maybe you took it a little bit too far. This parable is just scorched earth. It's, it's nuclear. Yeah.  [00:47:10] Tony Arsenal: Yeah.  [00:47:11] Scandalous Vineyard Setup [00:47:11] Tony Arsenal: And you know, I think, um, we are obviously gonna spend another week on this 'cause we still have not really addressed a single verse in this parable. I, I think like a lot of ink has been spilled on explaining sort of like the feal agricultural arrangements of this passage. What it represents. M my understanding is. A typical arrangement would be that a, a landowner would basically just lease out land and the tenants would be responsible for the planting, for the development. Right. And the, the, the landowner would essentially just collect a portion of whatever they produce. Right. This parable is actually taking this a step further. Exactly. That it's not as though the landowner just says like, all right, you can use this land. Right. And I own the land, so I get a portion of the pro, the profit. He's actually done all the work. Yes. And all that. The, all that the, the tenants need to do essentially is reap the harvest and then provide the portion of the harvest that belongs to the landowner, and so there is a greater investment. Of the landowner into this land than would be expected. We've commented in the past about how a lot of times the, the parables start on sort of a premise of shock. Like there's a, there's an element of the setup of the, of the parable where the audience would kind of like sit back and gasp or kind of be like, wait a second. Like that's not normal. Right. In the parable of the, the, um, lost son, it was the idea that like the son demanded his inheritance. And that wasn't the shocking part. The shocking part was that the father just granted it. Right. Or, um, the lost sheep, like the, there's actually a sort of a shocking element to the fact that like the, the land, the like sheep owner would just go get this other sheep. So we've, we've commented on there's kind of like. There's sort of like a scandalous setup. The scandalous setup in this is not that the land has been leased to tenants, right? It's that the land has been prepared for the tenants before it was leased out in the first place. And I think that's something we might miss if we read over this too quickly, is. The landowner has prepared everything for these, these tenants.  [00:49:30] Jesse Schwamb: That's right.  [00:49:31] Tony Arsenal: So the, the, at the, the punchline of the parable where they refuse to acknowledge the sovereignty of, um, sovereignty and maybe a lowercase s in the, in the context of the parable, they refuse to acknowledge the sovereignty and the rightful claim of the tenant or of the landowner on the, the profit of the land. And sort of like highlighter emphasized by the fact that they actually didn't do any of the work. There's a certain kind of like Amer, like American rugged individualism where we're kind of like, yeah, like if I planted all the crops, then it's kind of lame that this guy's coming in expecting to take a portion of it, right? Like, yeah, I guess he owns the land, so maybe he gets a little piece of it, but like, who does he think he is? All of that already is already short circuited. Like I. The, these tenants are not actually, um, portrayed as doing anything in this parable. That's right. Like they just lease the land. They, they, um, and leased is not really like the right. The right word, the, the Greek word is omi, which is like he gave over the land to them. Um, when we say leased, we have this idea that like the tenants pay to use the land and then like part of their contract is that whatever profits they reap, uh, off the land goes back to the, to the landowner. This is really more like the landowner graciously allowed them to live on this land, and the only payment he required was that they would eventually provide him part of the profit back. Like he's planted the land, he's put up the fence around it. He dug the wine press so that they could make a product out of it. He built the tower so it would be defended. Yes. And he gave it over to them essentially just to like live on until it was time for the harvest. And all he is asking for is basically like, alright, so this is my land. I've planted the vineyards, the profit is mine to have. And so when the time came for him to come claim that that's where they have now rejected him. Yes. That's where they've now said like, I know you did all the work and really graciously allowed us to live in this land, but we're gonna keep all of it for ourselves. That's the scandal of this. That's what I think like the original audience would've set up and like, wait a second here. Like, hold on. They didn't even plant the vineyards themselves. They didn't even build the tower themselves. That's really the force of this that I think we miss when we, when we overemphasize, trying to think through like what the original agricultural arrangements were. 'cause this is painted. Very different than what the original arrangements would've been typical for. Like this is a different scenario and I think intentionally so,  [00:52:09] Jesse Schwamb: and we need those words like rented, at least in English, to help us understand that it didn't belong to them. It wasn't a gift, right? It wasn't as if like it was just turned over in the sense that it belongs to you now do with it what you will. And it's very clear in the passage one, like you said, that the landowner does all those things. So it was a, you know, he completely set it up. I mean, this is just such a beautiful, I think, depiction of the hold of prophetic, you know, understanding of God's word here, but it's very clear that says the, he sent his slaves to the vine growers to receive his fruit. So you're right. The scandal is that they're like, well, obviously. They need to give him his fruits, like  [00:52:48] Tony Arsenal: right.  [00:52:48] Jesse Schwamb: It was all set up before he left on this long journey. He then turned it over to them to care for, and that was really all that they were supposed to do. They had no role in this. And so it does like lead us in into this weird space where it's like, well, well what, what did the Pharisees think they were trying to do themselves? What does actually Jesus commenting on, on their own, like licit on their own initiative here, is he basically saying that not only are they not respecting his sovereignty, but they were trying to claim for themselves what only rightly belongs to God that even their position right. Society in culture as their representatives, God himself, they wanted to take that over for themselves, which he does bring that condemnation upon them in other parts of the scripture. So again, this is really hot. I think it's a, it's both heat and light, but there's no doubt that there's fire to this, right? Because it's a direct indictment that God the father set all of this up. You yourselves are on rented property, but guess what? Even the property that you've rented, I'm not exacting a tax from you as if like you have put forward and grown or supplied or created some kind of profitable outcome here. And I just want a piece of that. He's not even talking about tithing in that sense. What he's basically saying is, none of this belongs to you. Like how? Right? How dare you? None of this is yours. I set all of this up and in fact, because you've done so poor poorly at this, I'm gonna take it away from you and give it to those who actually produce fruit and guess what's gonna be the Gentiles? So it's, there's a wild. Amounts of condemnation packed into a very small story.  [00:54:19] Tony Arsenal: Yeah. Yeah. It really is.  [00:54:22] Tenants Add Nothing [00:54:22] Tony Arsenal: Um, there is nothing expected of these tenants. Right. There's no contract, like there's no terms, they, they really add nothing to the, the landowner's land, except I guess maybe they're the ones harvesting these, this fruit. Right. But even that's not explicit in the parable.  [00:54:43] Jesse Schwamb: Exactly.  [00:54:43] Tony Arsenal: Right. Right. He, he does all just to steal your thunder, like he does all the verbs. Yes. All of the ves are done by the landowner.  [00:54:50] Jesse Schwamb: Yes. Right  [00:54:51] Tony Arsenal: on. There is an implication that the, the tenants are somehow like the ones harvesting this, or they're the ones producing the wine, I guess, in the wine vat or the wine press. But at the end of the day. A normal tenant landowner agreement would be, I'm, you're, first of all, you're probably gonna pay me to use this land, right? You're paying me to use this land, and the way you pay me is you're gonna plant the, the gr the crop. You're gonna harvest it. You're gonna make the produce, and all I'm gonna do is let you live on this land. I'm gonna take the pro, like the profit, you're gonna pay me outta that profit. There is nothing asked or expected of these, th

In this energizing Fuck Yeah Friday episode, Pilates coach and host, Lesley Logan shares why acknowledging progress matters more than waiting for big milestones that may never feel enough. She spotlights incredible listener wins, from leading skilled skydivers to finally surviving nighttime potty-training season, and reveals a personal behind-the-scenes project that's pushing her to think bigger and act bolder.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co .And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:The eleven quotes that she finds inspiring from Lewis Hatchett.Celebrating skydiving merit badges and nighttime potty training milestones.Finishing a secret project draft without needing external accountability buddies. This week's affirmation to surround yourself with calm peace.Episode References/Links:The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin - https://a.co/d/0g8ujQhjLewis Hatchett Instagram Quotes - https://beitpod.com/lewishatchettSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  It's Fuck Yeah Friday. Brad Crowell 0:01  Fuck yeah. Lesley Logan 0:02  Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 0:44  All right, Be It babe. How are you? Welcome to another FYF, another Fuck Yeah Friday. It's because we need things like wins in our lives. We need fun times to celebrate the little things that we did and the little things that we're doing. And you'll hear my win, and you'll hear how that's a win in a second that might inspire you to send your wins in to beitpod.com/questions.Lesley Logan 1:07  So I have, I have a thing in all my memberships where you have to celebrate your wins. And if you need a bitch, there is a bitch channel, that you have to go celebrate a win. And I hate when I have to go, oh, this is really terrible. This happened to you. You have to go celebrate a win, because you can't just, like, dump your shit. You gotta go celebrate your win. But on the Be It Pod, we just have wins, right? And inspiring things, and wins, and wins can be small, big, all the things in between, but they're yours, and I love sharing yours. So beitpod.com/questions is where you can send a win in and because it'll come out a couple months after you send it, and then you'll go, oh my god, I can't believe I forgot that I did that thing. I am doing great things. Lesley Logan 1:43  So before we get to your wins, these are 11 quotes that will hit you like a train. Lewis Hatchett, the link will be in this from Instagram. What a blessing to be tired in the pursuit of a challenge of your choosing. What a blessing to be tired in the pursuit of the challenge of your choosing. Yeah, I think we forget that we get to do this. I'm really grateful. Like, in the last couple of years, it's really, I don't get to go, I don't go. Why am I doing this? Because I want, I'm doing all the things I want. Like, I woke up and I'm like, you're doing all the things you want so you better, like, stop being tired. Like, those are, like, things people say around you that you pick up and you're like, oh, I should say, oh, my god, I'm so busy. But like I'm excited. I've got good things going on. Okay? Another one. People may laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at them because they're all the same. I like that one. It's nice. It's a little petty, but I like it. You're doubting yourself while others are terrified of your potential. Boom.Lesley Logan 2:39  Your whole path can be determined by who you surround yourself with. So yes, be selective. We just talked about that in the episode that's coming out with Corey Wynn. So yes, you're getting close. That's why it's getting tough, right? It's always harder at the top of the peak. Look at the way you struggle and tell me you're not strong. Look at the way you struggle and tell me not strong. My goodness, like look at the things that you're having to deal with you, the only way you could do that is if you were a strong person, you wouldn't be given something you can't struggle with, right? An underrated skill in people is the ability to suffer well. It's not going to be smooth sailing, so it's an underrated skill. Thank yourself for having it. You are what you do, not what you say you'll do. You are what you do, not what you say you'll do. Any lesson you refuse to learn will repeat itself until you do. Well, that's true. So true. Vision without execution is just hallucination. Okay, that hits. Mistake that makes you humble is better than an achievement that makes you arrogant. Love those. Love, love, love, love those. You'll hear a couple of these apply to the win I have in just a moment. Lesley Logan 3:57  Now let's get to your win. So we have a couple wins from @amandalgpilates. I led a group of very skilled B-level skydivers all weekend to earn specialized merit badges. That's cool. That's like, I don't even know why they're getting merit badges, but like, I love this. What a fun that's gonna be inspiring. I'll never skydive, but I love that for you. But also, she sent, my kid is officially nighttime potty-trained. We're diaper free house again. You know what, Amanda, that is a fucking huge win. I don't even have kids, and I imagine that that's got to just feel like, like you got to be going, who needs these diapers? Where are these I mean, like, I'm sure, like, so many different things open up in your life. So what a win. Thanks for celebrating with us. I am just so excited for you. I know we have so many listeners who are like, yes, yes, go, Amanda. See, isn't that fun to hear other people's wins? You're like, oh, that's a win. I had a win like that, yeah, and you didn't celebrate it. You got to celebrate it. Lesley Logan 4:43  So my win. So okay, here's the deal. I can't tell you what it is. Some people know, but I've been working on something behind the scenes, something that's been on my mind. I want to say October. So, you know, we're coming, you know, half a year, but I've been working on it, and I'm really proud of where the first draft is, and I'm really excited to take action on it. And it's a win, because I am with my ADHD, like, shiny object syndrome person, and it's really easy for me to say I'm going to do something, and then, like, especially if people don't know I'm going to do it, not that I'm not going to do it, because, like, my four tendencies, the tendency I have, is I'm going to do it, but I could just take a little longer with it. And this is something I did not want to take a long time with. I wanted to get it done in less than nine months, because the people who are going to use it are going to need it. So I'm extremely excited for what this has turned out to, how it's challenged me, and it goes into that like a vision without action is just a hallucination. Like this is not a hallucination. This is going to be something that it's going to challenge me in humongous ways. It's going to make me have to be bigger and bolder and think in a different aspect. And I'm excited for that challenge. So anyways, my win is I'm working on the thing I said I work on without having to have accountability buddies everywhere to get it done. And I'm not saying that you should need that, like some people's tendencies do. Read The Four Tendencies book if you haven't ever done that. But sometimes we don't have at least a deadline. It's hard for all of us to do anything, because there's other things that like take over and this one, nope, this one, this one, this one's sticking, and this one's gonna change people's lives, and I'm super excited about it. Lesley Logan 6:23  Okay, your affirmation. Calm and peace surround me. Calm and peace surround me. Calm and peace surround you, Be It, babe. All right. Thank you so much. Until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 6:39  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 7:21  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 7:26  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 7:31  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 7:38  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 7:41  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Lesley Logan 7:54  You are what you do, not what you'say you'll do. Any lesson, any lesson.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What if the biggest thing holding you back is waiting for someone else to say yes? In this powerful solo episode, Lesley Logan continues her permission series and unpacks why so many people second-guess their desires, choices, and next moves. She shares how childhood conditioning, perfectionism, and the need for approval keep people stuck far longer than they realize. From Brené Brown permission slips to boundaries, intuition, and radical responsibility, Lesley offers practical ways to trust in your own intuition. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Why asking permission becomes a hidden habit.Lesley's Pilates journey challenged needing approval.How Brené Brown uses written permission slips.Difference between seeking feedback versus validation.Recognize that personal growth involves change.Episode References/Links:The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron - https://a.co/d/02rkqdgrDare to Lead By Brené Brown - https://a.co/d/04SQU1mLEp. 15 with Erika Quest - https://beitpod.com/ep15Ep. 319 with Nikole Mitchell - https://beitpod.com/ep319Ep. 400 Gay Hendricks - https://beitpod.com/ep400Habit Series - https://lesleylogan.co/?s=habitReal Brave & Unstoppable - https://beitpod.com/source1The Art of Giving Yourself Permission - https://beitpod.com/source26 Ways to Give Yourself Permission - https://beitpod.com/source3Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  According to wonder within the path to permission is not an easy one. It's rocky, complicated and cold, and can even be confusing because we have to unlearn and untangle. Lesley Logan 0:10  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:52  Hello, be it, babe. Well, welcome back to our series on permission. On our Tuesday episode. If you missed it, we were talking about like, what is asking for permission? Look like, where does it come from? Why do we do this? I shared some stories. Some of you had sent me some great stories of your own. I love that you're loving that I'm doing this solo episode on this. And please keep sending your questions in your topic requests in, be it pod.com/questions you can also send your wins in there as well. Maybe you have a win that you stopped asking for permission. I'd love to know that. But be it pod.com/questions, is where you can send in all those things. I'm hopeful to have some more different topics. We could do a couple episodes on, just to kind of go deeper on some of these things. I'm hearing our amazing guests give us, BE IT action items on they're like, don't ask permission. Just do it. It's like, well, what the fuck did like you mean, just do it easy. Easy for them to say they weren't raised to put other people's needs before their own. They weren't raised to go, like, to not seek approval from others. They weren't raised to not like, look crazy, right? So they aren't constantly hearing just different things, where people go, oh, you believe she did that? She's so greedy. I mean, they gave, they've they gave the team a locker room on Tuesdays and Thursdays now, they went on Saturdays too? Like, those are things we pick up when we're children and teenagers and young adults. We pick up on these things where people are saying things mostly about women, about when they step outside those traditional roles when they do something against the grain. And I'm not saying you have to go be against the grain. What I am saying is you can't be it till you see it. If you're waiting for someone else's permission to start being it, you have to give it to yourself. But how do we do that? So let me go to my notes, and in my research, I have sources, so we put those in the show notes as well. There's some really great reading in Psychology Today and all these different things, so it's pretty great. Lesley Logan 2:44  Okay, so now we know we are often conditioned to ask for permission, and in the last episode, I do want to highlight, we did talk about the permission gap. We also talked about the signs to close it. So the gap is basically the gap between, like, what we want and what we think people's needs are, and then putting their needs in front of our own. And so we're kind of all and so we're kind of always in the negative for what we need, and then we're asking for permission to give ourselves what those needs are. So, according to Wonder Within, the path to permission is not an easy one. It's rocky, complicated and cold, and can even be confusing because we have to unlearn and untangle. So on Tuesday, I challenged you, I gave you a bunch of different signs, feelings, examples of like, what like, what permission looks like, asking permission looks like. And so hopefully able to explore that and now means we have to unlearn and untangle. If you listen to the series that came out starting in December of 2025 we did a whole habit series we talked about in one of the episodes, all about unraveling a bad habit, and that is in air quotes, and it's really, truly unraveling. It's not breaking it. I was very specific on that, because we do have to unravel. We have to understand, like, what's the prompt? And I will say this unraveling, untangling the habit of asking for permission is advanced habit making, because you have to be aware of yourself asking for permission. It's not the same as I want to build a habit of running around the block in the morning that is very tangible. It's easier for your brain to go, oh, I went around the block this morning, versus catching yourself asking for permission or filling the need to ask for permission, because that's a psychological habit, and you'll have to have that self awareness. So I just want to say it might take longer than you think, okay, but definitely check out that episode. So permission to become to be till you see, it might be the biggest work that we have to do. That's what I believe. After doing all this research, I'm like, oh my God, I feel like I need a permission slip expert. It may include working with a trauma informed therapist, a somatic worker. So even with all the suggestions that I'm about to give you, I want you to understand that if you need extra support, that is okay, okay. It is really, really okay. And I need you to know that it's okay and you're not asking for permission when you hire an expert in trauma or like somatic work or therapy or any kind because. That's actually saying, hi, I need help. That's not you asking for permission, right? Lesley Logan 5:04  Hey, so I told you in the last episode about when I wanted to I thought about becoming a Pilates instructor. Like, I was like, I had this thing, this thought, and I recognize now that I was kind of asking for permission to belong, for permission to fit into the Pilates role. Because, to be honest, at the time, there was not Pilates instructors who did not discover Pilates from dancing. So that felt so weird. Also, I knew I couldn't afford the comprehensive training, so I was gonna start the mat training then save up my money for comprehensive training, which I did a year later. And I remember thinking like, Oh, my God, maybe I can't do it because, like, I can't do the whole thing at the same time. And so I do recall asking for permission, right? I remember being in vintage and basically just saying, Well, tell me what to do. I'll just do whatever you want me to do, which is just me asking for permission so that I can do be the thing that belongs. Because we all want to belong. Sometimes we're just like, hey, just how do I be perfect so I can not get kicked out of this group because we just want to belong. But really, and what they challenged me with is like, Oh no, we're not going to tell you what to do. You're going to figure you've got to feel what you need to do. It's got to be intuitive. It's got to be something that you understand for your body. And oh, my god, that is permission from them to be in my body, which is not something any teacher had given me. All the teachers before had been like, do it like this. You do it like this. And just telling me what to do, and that was kind of my whole life, right, covering perfectious over achiever, lots of people telling me the right thing to do, and just following the checklist and following the path. And so I had a whole adult life. Thank God for Pilates and the curiosity that gave me start going, oh, look at me. Like not checking a box here with a smile on my face. So think about one thing that you have been wanting could be as small as a food craving for today's lunch, or as big as an idea you want to take action on. So you're thinking about it. Got it in your head, what is keeping you from taking the next step?Lesley Logan 6:57  How much permission do you feel you have or don't have. Who decides how much permission you do or don't have? Is it possible that they are irrelevant? In my case, the people that I thought I needed permission from was the world of Pilates, they didn't even know me. They're so irrelevant. They didn't even know me, right? I was giving so much power to a bunch of people I didn't even know existed. So can you give yourself permission? Take a deep breath, right? A deep breath, if you've listened to episode 400 about upper limiting sometimes we get outside of our comfort zone, and then wild things come through worry. Do you feel some worry right now? Worry is a sign of upper limiting to pull you back into your comfort zone, right? Self-deprecating can be so I'll just want to, like go through those questions one more time. So what's something you want to be taking action on or wanting or desiring, no matter how small it is. Okay? So what's keeping you from taking that step or trying that thing or ordering that thing? How much permission do you feel you need you have or don't have for that who decides how much permission you do or don't have, and is it possible that they are relevant. Can you give yourself permission? So Brené Brown gives herself permission slips. It's actually in her book, dare to lead. She said, I give myself permission slips. And they say, I give myself permission to blank. So to make mistakes, to rest. I love this. I think this is a really great way to close that gap and to get rid of the habit of asking for permission is just to give, like literally write yourself permission slips. So if you remember my dear friend Nikole, whose last name is escaping me, sorry, team, she said two episodes, oh my god. Why is it not coming up anyway? So she talked about, in the first episode about all the different post it notes that she put around her house affirmations, and then she'd take them down because people are coming over, because she didn't want any single person to be able to give her any nagging thing that would remove the permission she'd given herself. So maybe you need to put little permission slips everywhere. I give myself permission to try a new outfit today. I give myself permission to make a mistake. I give myself permission to go a different route. I would give myself permission to ask that person for that thing. I give myself permission to rest. I give myself permission to turn off my phone. I give myself permission to not respond. Lesley Logan 9:31  So use clear and powerful language to empower yourself. That's really, really important. Affirmations are really helpful. So this one will start kind of the same way. I give myself permission to be successful. I give myself permission to be authentic. I give myself permission to pursue my dreams, right? So affirmations can also be helpful in also going with what Brené Brown's mission slips are. You can do a meditation. So this meditation is really easy one. You can take your hands, put them on your heart, close your eyes and say, I've got this or you've got this beautiful right, hands on the heart, eyes closed, you've got this beautiful. It's one of Fridays. The episodes I give you as an affirmation, I say it three times. I'm hoping you're saying it out loud with me. I'm giving you a second to do that. I want you to give yourself permission to have that affirmation to be it till you see it. And of course, journaling. Journaling is always a great thing. Look like you'd be surprised what comes out of your head when you journal. I like free writing. If you haven't done the book The Artist's Way, it's 12 weeks of journaling prompts and really will help you peel back the onion of why you're asking for permission in the first place, especially if you go into the book with that in mind, you're going to start to like, answer those questions with those thoughts, and it's going to give you a whole host of information. It's such a great thing to do. You can do it annually. You can do it more often than once, but it's really, really great. I highly recommend it. Lesley Logan 10:59  Okay, so tips for cultivating self-permission. So here's some other tips and tools you can use. So accept 100% responsibility. This is very difficult for some people, because that means responsibility for your own mistakes as well, but acknowledge that you are responsible for your own life, actions and responses. This shifts you from a victim mindset to one of empowerment, removing the blame, shame and guilt game. So what happens when you accept responsibility? It means you cannot you're not asking for cannot. You're not asking permission for people. It also means you can't say, oh, my kids wouldn't let me do Pilates today. Gotta accept 100 responsibility, right, radical responsibility,Lesley Logan 11:31  Another thing. Let go of the need for external approval. Recognize that relying on others for validation can prevent you from trusting your own judgment. I think that's really, really true. I got a medical diagnosis that isn't bad, don't freak out, but it's, it's not great either. And I'm a verbal processor, so I I like to talk about it to kind of, like, understand how I'm feeling, and it's interesting. Like, what I talked about with, like, some people my wife, are like, well, whatever you need, you can recover here. You could do this thing. Brad's like, so you're thinking about doing this. Like, it wasn't, I wasn't asking for permission. I was just, like, talking about it, right? And then I had another friend I was sharing it with, and they were almost talking me out of the thing. I remember going, what the fuck, right? So it made me go, ugh, because I was a little annoyed that she wasn't like, like everybody else. But then I was like, Wait, why do I care what she thinks, right? So it's interesting thing. There's like, just start to recognize when you're relying on the validations of other people and that, and then their lack of validation that causes you to think differently. Now, by the way, it's okay that she has me think differently. It really made me go back and kind of research what she was saying and making sure that, like, I almost got more secure in my decision because of it. So it's also fine to talk things out, but just notice, or maybe what she said could have got me to go, oh, maybe I don't need to do that. Those are all fine things, but just it's a very different thing from getting feedback versus validation. There are two different things. Lesley Logan 12:51  Embrace imperfection and mistakes, so give yourself permission to be human, to be wrong and to learn from what doesn't work. Viewing failures as lessons, not torture, is crucial for growth, and I think this is really, really important. Really important in my journey of just like become a recovering perfectionist and overachiever, it's really helped me to not need permission, because I'm not trying to be perfect to the thing, and I'm allowing myself to learn and ask questions and be a human being who doesn't fail, but actually learns and then makes adjustments along the way. It's kind of like a route right when you're driving, and the map is like, go here. And then it's like, oh, we found a faster route. You didn't go, ugh, MapQuest. You're an asshole. You fucked up the last one. No, you just go, wow, thanks for getting better at what you do. You're just like, look at this app. So great. Like, we don't go, oh, my God, they got it wrong. No, we go, oh, they're like improving every time. Lesley Logan 13:44  Set boundaries. Is vital to give yourself permission to say no to things that don't serve you, even if it makes others uncomfortable, this protects your time and energy for what truly matters to you. Erika Quest, she's been on the pod, we were talking the other day about, like, when people invite us to different things, like, we ask ourselves, is this more, or is it better? But more? Is it better? And if it's just more, then it's probably no, it's better. Gonna make my impact better? Gonna make me a better person? Then, yeah, I'll look into it. Lesley Logan 14:10  Okay, listen to your own intuition. So reconnect with your inner voice and trust your gut feelings. The more you exercise permission muscle, the louder and clearer becomes. I am going to have a whole series on how to listen to your inner voice, so I'm not going to go deeper on that that will be coming up in a few weeks. Hey, be curious, not judgmental. So approach your feelings and experiences with curiosity rather than fear or judgment. Label your emotions to understand them better, which is a gateway to healing and growth. Lesley Logan 14:41  Prioritize self-care and rest. Oh, hi, hello. Give yourself permission to rest, to recharge and enjoy life without guilt. Integrating self-care rituals into your daily routine helps make it a habit. Listen to the habit series so you have even better chance of doing that. But my goodness, you've got to prioritize your self-care so you get rid of that permission gap. And it's not that I'm like, You're not going to help other people or you're not going to care about them. It's just that, like, you can't care about them before your own air mask is on first. Hello. Lesley Logan 15:07  Allow yourself to pivot. Recognize that personal growth involves change. Give yourself permission to change your mind, career or life direction if an old path no longer aligns with your evolving self. I mean, heck, you might have asked for permission to do something and someone talked you out of it, the thing you want to do, and now you're doing the thing that they gave you permission to do. So you're probably going to have to evolve, pivot, change things. And I would say, be nice to yourself. Have grace and space for recognizing that because, my goodness, everything you learn on that path is what's going to make you even better on the path that you're on now. So please be kind. Lesley Logan 15:38  Another way to give yourself permission is, what's the cost of your inaction? What is the cost of doing nothing? What is the cost of not doing the thing you want to do? I want to dive deeper into that, into next week's episode with Dr. Corey. So, definitely be watching out for that interview, because I promise you, it's going to be so good. But I was like, oh my God. Yes, and I'm so glad that we talked about that in her episode. And keep in mind, after years of second guessing, after years of asking permission, for permission, it can be hard to trust yourself and believe you've got this. Lesley Logan 16:10  So consider this permission to be you to be it till you see it. No one but you defines the scope of what's possible, and no one but you can dare to believe that you can be it till you see it. No one but you can define the scope of what's possible, and no one but you can dare to believe that you can be it till you see it. I promise you that you are amazing. You don't need my permission to be it till you see it, but you might need my reminder that you can. And I hope each and every week, you say that to yourself as well. All right, babe, until next time, be it till you see it. Lesley Logan 16:41  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 17:24  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 17:28  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 17:33  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.  Lesley Logan 17:40  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 17:45  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Are you waiting for a green light that's never going to come? This week, Lesley Logan dives into the "permission gap", the space between what you actually want and the action you take, often filled with self-doubt and a perceived need for validation. Whether it's the habit of using a partner as a polite excuse to say no or constantly asking, "Does that make sense?," seeking approval is a cycle that keeps you playing small. Lesley shares how a "mean" sixth-grade teacher taught her about agency and why your language needs an audit. It's time to stop second-guessing and start owning your choices. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:The "badass" lesson Lesley learned from her sixth-grade teacher.Understanding the permission gap and its roots in social conditioning.Spotting "yellow flag" phrases that signal you are seeking approval.How internalized misogyny keeps women from asserting their own agency.Reclaiming power by shifting from "can't afford" to intentional choices.Episode References/Links:The Permission Gap - https://beitpod.com/thepermissiongapWhy Women Need Permission - https://beitpod.com/whywomenneedpermissionPleasure and Permission - https://beitpod.com/right2desireEp. 241 withDr. Celeste Holbrook - https://beitpod.com/ep241Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! 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You don't need permission from men. You don't need anybody's permission except for your own. Lesley Logan 0:13  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 0:56  Hey, Be It babe. How are you? Oh my god. Welcome to our week. My solo series is going to be on permission. And this has actually come from some people on my team who were listening to the pod. It's like a permission to be, permission to become, and it made us go, like, so why do we feel like we need permission? Right? What's going on there? So this, today's episode, is going to be on like, why do we feel like we need permission? Especially for my lady listeners out there, and there's a few good men, and I think it's important that you kind of, I think you should listen to this, because I think it's important you might understand, like, why we are the way we are. It just makes you a better human, right? And then on Thursday, instead of a recap episode, it's actually going to be on, how do we stop second guessing ourselves, so that we're we're not needing to ask permission, because we're not second guessing ourselves, right? So in doing this research, I found some really great resources. And so we'll also have links to my sources in the episode show notes. But I just kind of was thinking about this place. So I remember, in the sixth grade, I had a teacher. Her name is Mrs. Scott. She had lots of plans. It was a great was a great classroom. She looked a little scary. I'm not gonna lie, like, who's older? I've been teaching for like, 40 years, by the time I got there and she said, you can't ask can I go to the bathroom with me? In fact, if you ever say can I do something, I'm going to ask you. I don't know, can you? And I remember thinking, like, what a stickler. Why is she so mean? And now, as I was researching this episode, I was like, what a fucking badass she was. Like, how cool that she was making sure that as a sixth grader, we are understanding that we could go to the bathroom on our own. We didn't need to ask permission if we could go to the bathroom, we need to ask permission to leave. Like, the question was actually like, may I go to the bathroom, is what she wanted us to understand. So like, may I do X, Y and Z, because she's like, you are completely capable of doing these things. And so it's really interesting how in our lives, especially as when we learn by looking at people's facial expressions and emotions, the sound in their voice, we're seeking out permission, right? Like, oh, is it safe to be here? Is it safe do these things? Am I safe to do this? And then because of that, it also just starts to roll into all the things that we do on a daily basis. And so we start finding ourselves, like asking permission for a lot of things. And so in the research I was doing, there are some really great anecdotal stories of people in the author's lives who used to be like their parent or role model, and then how that shifted to them asking permission as well. And I just found it really interesting how easy it is for that to become some sort of like, habit's the wrong word, but just like, maybe it's the right word, but just because part of our daily life. And you know, I used to work in retail before, as a Pilates instructor and even as a Pilates instructor I would hear this thing where people would go, mostly women, I need to ask my husband, I need to ask my partner, I need to ask my spouse. And it was interesting, because most of these people were not like housewives who had no job, and this was not their income. And by the way, like it's another conversation. But also, you know, if you are the house manager, you are allowing the person who's making that money to be able to make that money, because you're making their life so much easier. They don't have to do all these things. But that's a different story. But these are women who like brought income in as well. And so it was just really interesting to me. And I will say, whenever I say I need to ask my husband, is because I actually haven't made a decision and or I'm trying to nicely say no to you, but I don't want to say no yet, so I will say I it's a nice phrase to use, but I just remember thinking like, do they have to ask? Is this something they're asking permission for? They really love it. I remember them like loving how they looked in a purse or a necklace, like, just absolutely loving it, and then asking, like, hey, what do you think? And then that person going, I think you can look better in this. And then just, like, not getting the thing they want and getting the other thing. And I just remember going, oh, this is going to not be used, or it's going to be returned, because they really want the other thing, right? And so at any rate, why is this happening? Why are these women mostly asking for permission to be, to like, to desire, to have to own so let's get into it. Lesley Logan 5:08  First, these are some questions that I thought would be fun for you to journal about, post, ponder on this week. What leads me to seek social approval before making a decision? Is it a personality trait? Could it be a lack of self-esteem, or is biology a factor? So I kind of thought that that would be fun for you to think about for your own personal thing, like, do you feel a tendency to seek approval, social approval before making a decision? Is it part of your personality? Do you think it's because you're not sure about trusting yourself, or is it is biology a factor? So there's something that's going to come up in this topic as well, and in the research, it talks about permission gap. And so permission gap is a phenomenon stemming from socialization that emphasizes the caretaking and prioritizing others' needs over personal desires. So basically, we tend to think that we need to ask if we can do something, or before we do something, seek out permission or approval because we believe or feel we should be putting other people's needs before our own needs and our own desires. And so if we're going to do something that could be something that's more for ourselves, prioritizing ourselves first, then we feel like we need permission, like, hey, can I do this thing? I'll say, just before I hit record, Brad and I were redoing the schedule, and we are recording a podcast tomorrow night, when we'd normally be at the gym. And I didn't say, hey, can I go to the gym in the morning? He normally goes to the gym with me on Wednesday nights. Didn't go, hey, can I go in the gym in the morning? I just said, hey, I'm gonna go to the gym in the morning, right? And I was like, that could be taken as rude. I can see how some people would think that is rude. But also, like, he knows that getting my Wednesday workout in is a priority for me. With a very, very busy schedule, there's no other place we can move it. And I hope he knows. I'd love for him to come. But I also know he's not gonna get up at seven in the morning. He's not gonna do it. That's what we do it on Wednesday nights. So I will say I do understand that sometimes some of the things that I say or do can sound a little rude to people on the outside. And so I can understand why sometimes we use permission as a way asking permission as a way to just like, be thoughtful. But I do think it's important to know that you're doing what you're doing, otherwise you are living in this permission gap, this phenomenon stemming from socialization that emphasizes the caretaking and prioritizing of other needs and, others' needs and over our personal desires. So maybe you don't think you need permission, that's also possible. Hopefully that's true. But I also just wanted to bring up some phrases that you might be saying or thinking that could actually be like a, like a, like a yellow flag that you're asking for permission, which is, like, have you ever said, I've always wanted to blank, like, I've always wanted to go on a trip by myself. I've always wanted to learn how to do X, Y and Z. I've always wanted to try that. I've always wanted to buy that. I've always wanted to explore this. I've always wanted to if that is something that you are pondering, then somewhere along the way, you either didn't ask or didn't feel like you had permission to do the thing, right? And sometimes it means, like you just didn't have the time or the money at the time, that that's also true. But like, if you've always wanted to go back and get a doctorate, what is stopping you? Is it social approval? Okay, then we need to look at that. You know. Is it lack of self-esteem? We need to look at that. Is it a biology factor like, or is it like, hey, lack of time and money right now? But also, is it lack of time and money because we're giving it to other people and prioritizing their needs over ours? Is it? Have you ever said I stopped myself because. I stopped myself from buying that thing, from doing that thing, I, from trying that thing, from signing up for that thing. I stopped myself because. You know, I have a lot of friends and family who, I hear them say, like, oh, I was gonna do that, but I didn't because. And it's usually because of somebody else. Someone else was coming to town, someone else was doing this. A lot of people who want to be more consistent in Pilates, but they aren't, because there's always so many things coming up. I mean, like, literally, my schedule is never the same week to week. It is not possible. So I literally had to say to the team between I don't do anything before 9:15 am and I am done with my day at 4:30 you have to fit everything into that, because I need to know that I can before 9:15 and after 4:30 I can do whatever I need to do, right? I need to know that. So it's really, really important that you're just kind of taking notice, do a little audit about what you're saying, about what you're not doing that you didn't do. Now, look, if you didn't want to do it, then don't do it. You don't even need permission from me to do that, right?Lesley Logan 9:39  Or do you ever feel you need someone to tell you it's going to be okay? Like, do you seek support because maybe you think your idea or how you're feeling is crazy? Are you secretly wanting someone to stop you? Like, are you asking permission because actually you are secretly wanting someone to stop you from doing it? Right? So I thought this was really funny when I was like researching for this, so I remember, I can, I can tell you where I was in LA, driving my car when the woman who taught me Pilates, her name is Julie, she's my first Pilates instructor in LA, when she taught me Pilates, I could barely afford it, so I was going every other week for a duet, and then I was doing as much as I could remember, on the mat at home, in between, and eventually I was able to afford a weekly duet, which is very was a challenge for me but I was able to do it, and I had this like inkling, I was like, I wonder, I wonder if I could learn how to teach the mat work, and then I could teach it at her studio, and that could pay for my Pilates sessions. And I remember like, being on a call with her, and she's talking about, like, buying the studio from the other owner, and she's really excited, and like, what that means. And I was like, um, you think, like, it's gonna it'd be okay if I, like, like, taught mat classes? And then she said, oh my god, Lesley, you need to become a teacher, like, but I remember needing at that time, the Lesley at that time, needed permission to become a Pilates instructor, because I honestly thought I was a little bit crazy. Part of me maybe wanted me to for them to talk to stop me, like before, I invested in something I couldn't afford, right? But, like, I definitely was asking permission to belong in the Pilates teaching community at that time, because I went to school for communications, right? So I definitely know that there's parts of my life that was, I was absolutely asking for permission, especially the younger me, especially the way, and I'll tell you, you'll see why, because I'm going to go over some primary reasons why we're asking for permission. But like, you know, obviously, the more comp you get, the more you do things, the less you feel like you need approval from others. And I do think that after 40, like, there are certain fucks that go away. And then I've heard after 50, even you have even less fucks to give. But like, hopefully, right? Hopefully, we have future versions of us that ask for less permission. But I remember that Lesley, I think that was, was in 2007 and I did my first training in 2008 so you know that how old was I then, oh my god, like 25 right? So anyways, like I remember needing needing approval and permission to make that leap. Lesley Logan 12:09  So let's go into some primary reasons why, and just see which ones of these resonate with you. So societal conditioning and gender roles. From a young age, many women are taught to be nurturing and pleasing, often prioritizing family and partners over their own ambitions or needs. The social conditioning makes pursuing more feel selfish or unnatural. This for sure, I'm definitely, I'm the oldest child. I definitely took care of my siblings. I remember one of the times I got in trouble I didn't do one of the chores that I was assigned, but that chore couldn't get done unless my siblings had done their chores. And so because they hadn't done their chores, I couldn't do mine. So I did this other thing that I wanted to do. I read the book. I loved, loved to read. I got in so much trouble because, like, I should have made sure they got their chores done, right? And so just remembering these things when you're a child these different things, it's societal condition. Now, are my parents assholes? No, of course not. They're just being parents, doing the best they can, and making mistakes along the way. But it's interesting how we pick up on things like, oh, well, I better not read for myself next time, because I should be making sure they're doing what they're supposed to be doing. Okay, next example, the good woman, ideal and guilt. There's a lingering cultural narrative that suggests women should be grateful for what they have, leading to the feelings of guilt or shame when they desire more. And this is a really interesting right? Like, you can see it in lots of different things, like the time I'm recording this, you know, I watched the women's hockey team for the Olympics like win gold, and also, by the way, that women's hockey has not been in the Olympics, and since, you know, it's only been there since the 90s, and then since then, like we've medaled so much, medaled as much as the men, in a much shorter period of time, right? And when you look at how women's sports are supported, they're supported United States because of Title IX, which means that money has to be invested in women's sports if there's men's sports. And so it means that, you know, on subconscious levels, like everything that we're wanting is because of somebody else so we should be so grateful. We should be so thankful. And when women do often ask for more, they're often told, like, people label them like terrible things, like she's money hungry, or she's, you know, what is? What they call people who like climb the ladder or like and they take other they seem people as like they're taking people down, but they don't say the same thing about a man doing the same thing, right? So we we learn to be what a good woman is, and should be just grateful that we have that. Another reason why you might be asking for permission is fear of judgment. Women often fear being perceived as demanding, selfish or too much when they vocalize their desires. This stems from a culture that often judges women who step outside traditional roles. 100% I think we could all remember an example of either ourselves or someone we know who did something and somebody said something about them. Sometimes they're often compared to another woman who didn't do that thing. And it's like, well, she didn't do it, and so now they're pinning women against women. And of course, you're like, well, I guess when you compare those two, then she is too selfish. But like, is she? Is she? Do they do that with men? Lesley Logan 15:16  Lack of representation. A lack of role models who are unapologetic about their desires, can make women feel that they need to wait for approval, validation or the right time, the right time. Oh, we just got to wait for the right time. You know, like, no, I don't remember anybody, any male in my life, cousins, brother, being told to, like, wait for the right time. Oh, go get it. Why don't you go get it. Why don't you go talk to them? Why don't you go put yourself out there, right? Oh, Lesley, be careful. You don't want to talk too much. Oh, you don't want to be too loud. Yeah. So this is the permission gap. So this is the space between what a woman wants and what she actually does, often filled with self-doubt and the belief that someone else needs to validate her worth. So, space between what a woman wants and what she actually does. She wants to go back to school, but she stays home to care for everybody, because asking for help or asking for people in her community to take Tuesdays and she'll take Wednesdays. Well, who? Why would she be able to do that? Who is she? Is she selfish? Right? Need for safety and responsiveness. In sexual relational context, women often need to feel safe and emotionally connected to access their desires, because they may not feel comfortable acting on their own. They may wait for a partner to initiate or create the right conditions. So this one I put in there, I just wanted to keep it because permission to be often, when you do research, you'll see that there's a lot of permission to feel worthy, permission to be able to fill their desires. Desires can be sexual, but also you could just desire to have a better life, right? Desire means a lot of different things, but I will say, if you are having any like not having to understand what you truly desire when it comes to sexual needs, please look at our episodes with Dr. Celeste Holbrook and please read her book, especially those who are raised in the church and purity culture being kind, even if your parents weren't super serious about it, there are definitely things we could talk about, and permission to feel desirable if you were at all raised around purity culture in any way. Lesley Logan 17:22  All right, last one or primary reasons why you might feel like you need permission. Internalized misogyny, a patriarchal culture that often devalues female desires, can lead to women minimizing their own needs, which in turn fuels a need for external permission to assert their own agency. I think we all know some women have internalized misogyny. I can think of a bunch of women in our political government right now, and it's annoying, because, okay, well, great, you're a pick me girl, like you're in but you think they're going to care for you. You think they're going to take care of you? No. You think that when you have an idea it's going to be used? No. You're gonna have to push it through some other male, right? So, like, internalized misogyny is something that honestly can happen without your own decision, right? Because it happens because of society. It happens because of the patriarchal culture. And so unless you can get yourself out of that situation, you might not even see what you're doing. And so I highly recommend, if you have you felt a lot of misogyny surrounding you, you might need to go find some really great women who can show you like you don't need to live under those rules. You don't need permission from men. You don't need anybody's permission except for your own. But let's be real, that is harder to do. That's what we're gonna talk about, episode two, we're gonna definitely get into how to stop second guessing yourself, because just saying, okay, here's all these things. This is why it's so hard for us, this is so hard for you to not ask for permission. Doesn't mean you're just be able to ask for, like, stop asking for permission. These are habits you have. These are things you say, like, you automatically will say when something's expensive, say I can't afford that instead of saying, oh, I'm not investing in that right now, that is something I'm really, really proud of, like, how I changed my tune on that, instead of when something was more like, is more money that I have, instead of saying I can't afford that, I'm not investing in that right now, or that's more than I want to invest in that project, or that's more than I want to invest in that thing right now. All of that makes it a choice versus I'm a victim. I can't afford it right now, right? It means I'm not asking for permission to buy something. I'm asking I'm stating why I'm not buying the thing. I don't need the permission. So it takes time. So just being mindful, and I think having the awareness first and foremost, of like, the things that you're saying, the things that you're doing, just take a notice, like, maybe this week, what you're noticing is like, how often am I asking for permission, if I look good, or if this works, or if that makes sense? You know, another thing I've been working on for the last couple of years, because I heard a female CEO say this, she said, instead of saying, does that make sense? Because that's like asking permission. Did I do a good job explaining that to you? She'll say, do you have any clarifying question for me? So that way she is stating, I know I said everything you just say in the right order, in the right way, but do you have any clarifying questions that is giving them the space to ask what they need and take assertiveness, and also you're holding yourself in a space of like, I did a really great job. Oh, your questions are okay. I can see where I missed out on that. We don't need to ask permission. Does that make sense? Right? So that's something I've been really trying to work on. Lesley Logan 20:09  So, all right, here are some other things, other signs that you might be asking for permission. Have you ever talked yourself out of something because someone else might not like it? You might not be liked, it'll be difficult, you have a fear of judgment, fear people will think you're crazy. Definitely, I have asked for permission in my past because I do a lot of weird, crazy stuff, and I'm like, I'm recognizing that, and now people just know I'm a little crazy, so that's fine, but it takes some time to get your confidence up, right? That like it's okay to be crazy. Have you ever talked yourself out of doing something because someone in your life wouldn't approve? You're afraid to look silly. You won't belong. You'll upset someone. The cost, you don't feel worthy. They might say no, so you're saying no first, and then you don't want to fail, right? Fear of failure. Then it sounds like you're in a state where you feel you need permission, and you're in that permission gap. So how do we close it? Well, I think first of all, awareness is important. I think we can't close any gap without actually noticing, like, where is this permission habit coming from? Who do we learn it from? Who do we observe it from? Not to go blame them, but just so you can, kind of, like, take the control back and realize what's going on and just notice that when you're doing it, and also those dear, amazing friends that you have, like, perhaps we need to, like, say, hey, here's what I noticed about myself. I notice that I ask like, what do you think? Instead of asking, like, tell me what your excited thoughts are, and then maybe what are some concerns you have? Like, that would be fine, because now you're asking them to, like, point out pros and cons. But just like, what do you think? Especially because a lot of us as people who never think anything good will happen to us, you know, we have those family members. We've had so many guests on the on the Be It Pod, talk about like, make sure that you're aware of who you're telling your ideas to, right? Because if you're telling your amazing ideas to people who will never believe in something possible, you're going to be, basically asking permission from people who are never going to give it. Just want you to notice what your habits are, what parts of you are feeling that permission need. Yeah, and then on Thursday, we're going to talk about how to close that gap, how to trust yourself, how to give yourself permission. That will be our episode on Thursday. So I'd love to hear how you're liking these topics. If you have topics that you're wanting me to address, you can actually send it into the beitpod.com/questions to say, hey, episode topic, and we'll put in the lineup. We're still gonna have the interviews, we're still gonna have the recaps, but we thought it'd be fun to basically, in between some of these interviews, do some of these solo episodes on some topics that maybe we could just dive a little bit deeper, that sometimes it doesn't happen in an interview because the conversation goes a different way. So thank you so much. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.Lesley Logan 22:57  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 23:40  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 23:45  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 23:49  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 23:56  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 24:00  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Lesley Logan 24:13  So internalized misogyny, a patriarchal cultural, a patriarchal. What a shitty word. I can't even say it. A patriarchal culture that often values. Oh my lord on high. What bloopers? Let's keep them in at the end.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this Friday episode of Be It Till You See It podcast, host and Pilates expert Lesley Logan challenges you to stop seeking external validation and start trusting your inner direction. Whether you are facing a massive business setback or just need a reminder to stay the course. She shares a personal story of navigating a total website blackout without the usual meltdown, proving that your reactions are the truest measure of your growth. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Embracing May birth month inspiration from the Year of the Horse.Celebrating a private Pilates session and its impact on partners.The importance of submitting wins for community mindset support.Celebrating a private Pilates session and its impact on partners.Navigating a business crisis when four websites go offline simultaneously.Episode References/Links:Awakening People Instagram Post - https://beitpod.com/yearofthehorseSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  It's Fuck yeah, Friday.Brad Crowell 0:01  Fuck yeah. Lesley Logan 0:03  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:48  Hey, Be It, babe. How are you? Oh my god, it's the first FYF of May, and it's on May 1st. Hi, welcome, welcome to Be It Pod's, Friday episode. Sure, quick, sweet, hopefully inspirational. Maybe it feels like we're having coffee, although it feels very one sided for you, but I want you to know that I wish you were here chatting with me. I share a win of yours, something inspirational, a win of mine, mantra for your weekend, and hopefully get you excited to hear what else we've had on the pod for the week. And we want to hear from you. We want your wins, so send them in to beitpod.com/questions, that's why you also can send your questions for us to answer on the pod. We love diving a little deeper, also based on your questions, it often lets us know what kind of guests we should have. So the inspiration from the internet, not that it's always very inspirational, but this one, somebody actually did. It's another year of the horse based on your birth month. And since it was the first of May, for those who were born in May, I thought this would be a fun inspiration for you. It's the honestly, the post is way too long for me to read all 12. So what I need you, if you're interested in yours, mine was great. I highly recommend you click the link in our show notes to go read all the posts. But for May, my birth, my may birthday is movement is essential for your growth this year. Changes in environment, routines or mindset bring clarity and renewed energy. The horse strengthens your independence and supports bold personal choices. Waiting for approval no longer feels natural to you. Everything improves when you trust your inner direction. Freedom becomes a source of confidence rather than fear. You will feel lighter as you move in alignment. And your affirmation is, I choose myself and move with confidence. So there you go. I'm gonna keep this one in my saves in case we have another like, seemingly close to the beginning of the month, FYF, because why not? Why not for the year of the horse? The whole time. We'll see I have ADHD. We'll see if I remember. Lesley Logan 2:40  Okay, a win of yours. You guys submitted these. They're so good. So this is from mymarialoisa, Pilates session with Lesley Logan that showed my husband the benefit Pilates. Maria, that was so fun. You guys, Maria came to my house and did a private session. Not very often that people get to get in because it means you're visiting Vegas when I'm home and I have time. And it was so fun to teach her. Fun to teach anyone who's, like, really excited about Joe's work. And like, not just like Pilates, but like, because I want to be a Pilates princess, but like, the actual work of Joe and how it does. And her husband came and he got to see it, and Brad, like, turned him on some things. And so I just think that like that is just going to be I'm so excited for you, Maria. I'm excited for your dreams that you have with it. I can't even wait to be updated on all of it. All right. And I have one more for you. This is from Blanca. I'm not giving up. That's a win. So the reason why I always want you guys to share wins is because I think it's important. One, you need to hear it. It always comes out a couple months after you send it in, just based on when I record these things. So we've talked about this before in FYF, like, when you hear your win, we've had people hear their wins and like, oh my god, I just heard my win, and that's a win, because I needed that reminding. We life is lifing. There's so much going on. And so I just, I just really want to shout you out. I really want to support you. I want to celebrate whatever big or small win you think you have. So thank you, ladies for sending that in. Lesley Logan 4:06  All right now, let me tell you, okay. So here we go. This is the first time I'm able to record since this happened. So this happened a while back, so you have nothing to worry about. But in March, three years after it had happened before, for different reasons, our sites were down. All of our sites, we have four, and they were all down, and means our shorteners didn't work. So if you're using our affiliate links, you couldn't even get to other people's sites with those. If you were you like, like, there's just with you couldn't buy anything, like, nothing. Our members, we were able to provide access to most of their membership, which behind the scenes, which is hard to do extra work, but here's the win. You're like, where's the win? Where's the win. So the win is, is that when my, when our ops girl, told me they were down, I was just, I mean, I said some few choices of cuss words, but no tears, no like, why is this happening to me? No like, oh my god. Where, this is the end of our business. It was just like, okay, step one, do this. Step two, do this. Step three, dadadadada. Let's just move forward. And I get, I got focused on what I had to do that day. You know, I have an amazing team who had to do a lot of extra work, and I'm so grateful for them. And the win is, like, how quickly we were able to pivot and and all these things. But for those of you who are like, I shouldn't be having this happen to me, like I really do, like, remind myself that, like, life is just an old Donkey Kong Mario Brothers game, where each level, you're introduced to a new shitty guy, and then after several levels, you end up at a castle, and then you get to experience all the little shitty guys that you already beat. And you just see like, oh, do I remember? Do I have the skills to beat them again? Because if I didn't, I have a lesson I didn't learn back there. And so I'm just really proud of how, how I was able to react and keep going, because I I had to keep going, but also because I could, because, you know, I figured out how to go, oh, this is the world is not imploding on me. This is a fixable problem. How do we align with our values and then move forward? And I'm just really grateful for all of our members who rolled with it and were patient with everything and enjoy their classes and coaching and replays in all different ways. Thank you. And we're and now, because it happened, our sites are doing even better. They're moving even faster and like, so sometimes they're not even a bad thing. Like, that's a win. So anyways, that's my win, not freaking out and wanting to quit my job. Lesley Logan 6:25  All right, so your mantra for the weekend is, I attract positive opportunities. I attract positive opportunities. Yes, you do. You attract positive opportunities. My love, go have a great weekend. Thanks for being here. Definitely check out our interviews and episodes for this week. We're really proud of what we're putting out. It's because of your recommendations, your suggestions, your wants, and what you're hoping to grow and be it till you see you. So with that said, go Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 6:55  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 7:37  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 7:43  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 7:47  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 7:54  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 7:58  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Lesley Logan 8:11  And renewed energy, the horth, the horth, the horse.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

When was the last time you made a decision that fit for you? Performance coach and creative business strategist Shari Teigman joins Lesley Logan to pull back the curtain on the chaotic beauty of perimenopause. Shari specializes in helping high-achieving people stop following outdated templates to finally start listening to their own internal rhythm. This episode is a permission slip to stop holding everyone else's baggage, how to move from fear to curiosity, and start making decisions that actually serve the woman you are becoming today. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Navigating the "not this" phase to rediscover your true identity.Why perimenopause is the best time for deep internal decluttering.The "red shoe" analogy for carrying other people's emotional baggage.How to transition from paralyzing fear to productive, playful curiosity.Using internal contradictions to stop lying to your own nervous system.Episode References/Links:Shari Teigman Website - https://shariteigman.comShari Teigman Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/shariteigmanThe Maverick Way: A Field Guide to Coming Undone on Purpose - https://sharidteigman.ac-page.com/TheMaverickWayPrelaunch?test=trueFemGevity - femgevityhealth.comBig Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert - elizabethgilbert.com/books/big-magicTiny Habits by BJ Fogg - tinyhabits.com/bookWhat to Expect When You're Expecting by Heidi Murkoff - https://a.co/d/0j80fU42Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questionsGuest Bio:Shari Teigman serves as a catalyst for high achievers who are ready to dismantle the status quo and reclaim their individuality. As a performance mentor and strategist, she guides leaders through the process of unlearning rigid structures to make room for radical, creative breakthroughs. Shari is best known for her ability to cut through the noise with a blend of sharp strategic insight and a "Maverick" spirit, encouraging her clients to stop adjusting to external pressures and start building lives that resonate with their core values.Beyond her strategic work, Shari is a dedicated advocate for personal sovereignty, helping global professionals navigate the complex intersection of high-level performance and emotional well-being. By challenging the traditional "resiliency" narrative, she provides the tools necessary to move from a state of constant survival into one of intentional, authentic growth. Whether she is addressing the mental shifts of perimenopause or the hurdles of international business, Shari's mission is to ensure that success never comes at the cost of self-recognition. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Shari Teigman 0:00  In our lives, we walk around carrying everyone else's red shoes and polka dotted bags and pile of crap, and you walk around wheeling it with you, because you call it identity, you call it belonging. You call it your culture, your religion, your family, your blah, blah, blah. And you open up this bag and it's filled with shit you don't know, so you have no room for new stuff.Lesley Logan 0:18  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:57  All right, Be It babe, get ready. Get your notes out if you're driving, Get your ears on. This is an interview I was stoked to have, and I'm even more excited for it to be in your ears right now than I could have imagined. Shari Teigman is our guest today. She is the coach for Mavericks. But really, truly, you high flying women that listen to this podcast who are going through perimenopause, maybe already there may be on the other side, but when I talk about being it until you see it, sometimes you're like, well, who am I? Now? We are going to dive into so many different amazing tools, tats. There's going to be nuggets that are going to just go that hit right where I needed it to. You will relisten to this episode. I know it's great. We did record during Mercury in Retrograde. So there are a couple of times where I think there might be a blip in the audio. I promise you you didn't miss anything. So please bear with the three of those that happen if my team didn't get rid of them and and just know that like the magic is here, and it's very much worth listening to, and relistening to and sharing with a girlfriend of yours who needs to hear it. So here is Shari Teigman. Lesley Logan 2:06  All right, Be It babe. So here's the deal. I have been kind of stalking this woman for a bit through the socials, and when I saw her and what she raves about, I was like, oh, we have to have her on the be it pod. She is exactly what you guys need to hear today and probably repeat this episode. We haven't had it yet, but I have a feeling there's gonna be some nuggets you're gonna want to relisten to. So Shari Teigman, tell everyone who you are and what you rock at. Shari Teigman 2:30  I would say I feel pressure, but I don't. I'm just excited. So thank you for having me. I'm very excited to be here and stalking right back. So I always love finding a friend on the interwebs that sounds and moves like me. Well, you move better than I do, Pilates and all, but the energy, the excitement and the passion for life and a lot of realness as well. So I am a performance coach and a creative business strategist, and I help people unleash the Maverick within them. So it's stopping following everyone else's bullshit templates and moving into a space where you're listening to your own gut, you're following your own rules, and it doesn't mean you're rebelling against anything, and it doesn't mean you have to be angry at everyone. You know the stage of life can come with a little perimenopausal rage, which is always welcome in my world. But I work with both men and women to find a beat of their own drums so that they don't have to be checking in everyone's yards to see what they're doing and measuring themselves non stop. We're not in high school. I didn't do it in high school. I'm certainly not doing it now. So that is the fire that I like to bring to the world.Lesley Logan 3:27  Oh, I love that, and I love how clear you are in what you do. And I'm sure many people's ears perked up on the menopausal race, all that stuff, because I think, like one of the things that so I started doing this podcast years ago, and I'm like, I know who I am and people are trying to figure out why I'm so confident, and really, it's just because I do things scared. But then, like, you know, you start to get past 40, and you're like, why am I freaking out? Well, who? Why am I (inaudible). Shari Teigman 3:52  Fearless me? Lesley Logan 3:54  Yeah, why, why am I hesitating? Like, what? What is happening and and like, in being until I see it, it's like, wow, this is, like, a lifelong thing. Thank goodness I like doing this. But also, but also, like, it is interesting to get to know yourself again when you especially for the women who love the show and who we attract, who thought they did, and now they're like, kind of feeling like my girlfriend said today that she feels like she has, like, sea legs.Shari Teigman 4:20  Yeah, it's so nice of you to call it interesting, to get us to know ourselves, because I have some other choice words for the state of life while I accept it and rage, it's fascinating. And may not get all metaphysical here, and you're going to have to drag me into a crone phase of my life. I don't plan on going lightly or gracefully, but there is the no shits given point where we do get to course correct and say, okay, for those of us who did know ourselves for the past 15, 20, 30 years to check in that that's still what we want, or the identifications are still valid and accurate and have not expired just because everyone else like someone they work for everyone else. So it's a real face to the fire moment of I say I'm all these things. I better check in that I still am because I'm too tired and can't remember anything to pretend I'm something that I'm not. So I think it's a real truth telling phase. And like I said, I'm not planning on getting old and wise, but I will be loud and old and happy, fun. I just got to get through this can't remember my name thing, and then, you know, carry on to the next chapter. Lesley Logan 5:28  The other day, I saw this thing, and the guy was on Instagram, and the guy was like, hey, you meet someone who was born in 1995 and it's, they're 30 years old. And you're like, that's interesting. I'm 30 years old. And then I'm like, weird. And then I was like, wait, oh, I'm not I. I just keep thinking that I am.Shari Teigman 5:45  Yes, my eldest son turned 26 and I am not okay because I'm 22 and I'm not good at math, but that is not math. That is off, all off. Lesley Logan 5:50  So you said we have to, like, check in with ourselves. And I think that that is, like, a brilliant thing that no one has told us to do, right? Like, as you grow up, everyone's like, what do you want to be when you grow up? And then you go to school to be that thing, and you're like, check the box. And I think all the high flyers are good box checkers. Like, check this box and check that box and and so we've checked all the boxes, and then we get to a place, it's like, but how do you check in? Like, you add more boxes. What? What did you do, Shari? Like, how do you check in to see if these are the things you still want?Shari Teigman 6:22  So it's a long answer, Lesley. Lesley Logan 6:24  I'll take it. Shari Teigman 6:27  For me, I have, I have decluttered the boxes many times, because for the first 33 years of my life, I fit very well into the boxes I was supposed to that I was given. And I did a great job, and I was funny about it and zesty about it, and Miss bubbly and head cheerleader and exactly what you think I was like at 18. I still am like at 51 and I went through a really rough divorce in my early 30s as a mom of two kids, and after a couple of years of survival and just knowing what I didn't want, which is a very painful but beautiful process I can say now later, that not knowing what I want, Liz Gilbert had a great I saw her in an interview, and I love her. In my head, she's my best friend, but she just doesn't know it yet. So we'll let her know it's fine. But my bestie, Liz said on this podcast, she went through an era which was called not this. So everything became not this, not this, not this. Most of us think we have to know what we want, and you said it, we're asked when we're younger, what do you want to be? I have no idea what the hell I want to be. I have no idea what the things are my options. So I can pick something off the cereal shelf and not know what's inside. And then, because I said it, I then went to school for it, and then I wore the t-shirt for it, and I told everyone about it, and I posted on social media about it. I can't not do it now. So we wear these costumes for a while, and then they start getting tight and uncomfortable, and not because of the perimenopausal weight. I mean, internally. And then you say, wait, am I allowed to put it down? Is the question I asked myself. So in this, not this phase, at the end of my divorce with these two amazing kids that I love, I then free myself from a situation and I saw black because I had no idea who I was and I had no idea what I wanted. I hadn't gotten up to asking myself that question, probably for the first time in my life at 34. Terrifying, highly don't recommend, but we got here. And so I think at that point, I stripped away everything that I knew and said, well, if none of this was true, what if I could be anything? So hence, the Maverick was born after, I mean, I make it sound really nice, there were a lot of crying on the floor and break down in the therapist's office. And I had had psychiatrists call me scrappy. He's like, you don't need meds, you're scrappy, you'll be fine. I blew up at him, and I don't react to anyone. I was like, I get a reward for being able to constantly be in survival mode. Americans, brace yourself. He refunded me my $250 which does not happen in our country. He was so apologetic that he pissed me off so much he probably got all the rage that everyone in my life until then had not gotten. It was amazing. So the long answer is, I checked in, and all of a sudden nothing felt like me. And while that was scary, it was so liberating, because I didn't have to fit new stuff into an old package. I was like, wee let's just turn the whole thing upside down, and I rebuilt what I wanted and put the right things back in in the drawer, instead of whose is this sock? Like example I always use is, I think the first piece of finding yourself is unpacking. So let's say you go on a girl's weekend with a bunch of friends, and the last night's a little blurry. No one remembers how they got to the airport. You get home, you open your polka dotted suitcase, and there's a red shoe. You don't have a red shoe. You go into the WhatsApp group, you're like, hi, guys, has everyone thrown up yet? Anyone's red shoe? Does this belong to anyone? Of course, you know it's not yours. But in our lives, we walk around carrying everyone else's red shoes and polka dotted bags and pile of crap, and you walk around wheeling it with you, because you call it identity, you call it belonging, you call it your culture, your religion, your family, your blah, blah, blah. And you open up this bag and it's filled with shit you don't know so you have no room for new stuff. So you and I's come into the world with all this passion and all this excitement, and everyone's hands are filled wondering, where do I put one more thing? You have to unpack, and you have to understand why you keep repacking the same thing in order to then get a chance to make any choices.Lesley Logan 10:33  That is an I love that long answer so much because it's like the simple like, the part that we all wanted to hear was like the short answer, oh, just do these three things. Shari Teigman 10:44  I can't do it because I don't believe it. And I used to listen to it and cry and think I was broken because I don't have that availability. So now what do I do? Lesley Logan 10:51  Yeah, and I also like, thank goodness, like, that guy gave that money back. I can't believe there was a guy and he gave his money back. I can't believe it was a man who told you you don't need drugs. But I can't believe apologize (inaudible) because one of the things that like, I it like, is nailed on a chalkboard when someone goes, oh, you're just so resilient. I'm like, I don't want to be resilient anymore.Shari Teigman 11:14  And I hang that one up because I know, and I know you all appreciate it, but it's killing me from the inside, so (inaudible) anymore? Thank you for appreciating it. Lesley Logan 11:25  Right because also, like, of course, as a business owner, as someone who's still, like making the money we need to make till we're retired and living our best life. Resiliency is great in my day to day, like operating my business, but like being resilient in my friendships and my family-ships and all that stuff, it's like, no, because then you don't ever check on me. No one checks on me. Shari Teigman 11:43  And also, we don't know how to ask for help yet then, because it's already uncomfortable and there's no room for it, so you're like, but can I? No, can't, no. Lesley Logan 11:51  Why can't I ask you because I'm holding your red shoe. I can't ask you because I'm holding your red shoe. Shari Teigman 11:56  And I never learned how, so I guess I'm the red shoe holder now.Lesley Logan 12:01  Okay, so, but then, like, so we have to, I love the not this, and I love the unpacking. I think that that is so key. It's, I mean, like, you know, there's something I want to, I want to do in our business, and it requires letting go of some other things. Like, you can't, can't just keep adding to the, you know, it's so then it's unraveling. Like, well, what am I letting go of? And what? What does that look like? And for everyone listening who is freaking out, I'm not letting go of the things that you're paying for, don't worry. It's like, doesn't affect you. It's not affecting you. There's no change affecting you. Okay? It's affecting the people who work (inaudible) I know I'm like, it's affecting, it's affecting the people who work for me. It's not affecting you. You have to stipulate, because people start to freak out, like, so, but thankfully, I understand that right, like the old, the old me would have been like, okay, let's just, let's just, let's just add these, undo that expander zipper and, like, shove, we'll just shove this in. So I love that. I know that about myself now, and I think that that is the real key. But I think, you know, you Shari, got to figure that out kind of in your 30s and so, and like, I find that a lot of people are figuring out in perimenopause, as they're freaking out and don't know themselves, and now they have to unpack. And that's a I find, I still, I feel nervous for that, because is it a hard time to, like, relearn who you are, or is it the best time to relearn how you are?Shari Teigman 13:21  Both. It's hard and the best time. Because as crazy as this sounds, because from a neuroplasticity place, we can't hold on to as much of the story as we did because of the brain fog and the hormones changing, there's a release valve comes. But what's terrifying about it is we never had it before. So the feeling of loss of control is one that makes us want to grip to the old story, my old identity, the things that I achieved in my job before the younger people came in and take it, or technology's changing, or my kids no longer think I'm cool, or I've been with my husband 40 years. I can't even hear him chew anymore. You know, like all the things that we hear from this rage that they don't realize is coming from a lack of tolerance, the tipping point in themselves of what they've made okay for themselves for all these years. So it comes out in a burst, because it's not going to come out any other way. There's not going to be everyone at 2pm everyone open up their computers, scream, and then close it, and we'll all feel better. I mean, I feel like we should start this. The world would be a much better place. But since we don't have it, we wait until everything is chaotic and we hate everything, and then we have to start looking at it. So the kind of stuff I teach, when I teach with FemGevity and with a lot of my private clients, is just starting to ask yourself better questions. Instead of assuming it's only this one category of life, it gives you more permission to be creative. I think if we move from fear to curiosity, we ask better questions, we get better answers. It doesn't mean I'm asking anyone to change anything yet, but when was the last time you made a decision that fit for you? I know it hurts, because even as I teach it, I'm like, brace yourself, girls, because we're going in and I'm going in there with you, oh, my god, I haven't made a decision for myself or I didn't think of my partner, or I didn't think of my team, or I didn't think of my kids, or I didn't think what my family is going to think. I don't know. I don't know the last time I asked myself that. So then I have someone just start with an easy thing. What do you want for dinner? And it's heartbreaking to ask a woman in their 40s and 50s, what she wants for dinner, and she looks at you with a blank look because she doesn't know. She (inaudible) went to what do I have leftovers for the kids, for tomorrow, for school? What can my husband take? What did I get from the supermarket that's about to spoil? I asked what you want for dinner, and then the tears go. What kind of TV do you want to watch? What sheets do you want on the bed? And we're talking professional, high achieving women who just look completely blankly at no one ever taught me to I wouldn't, wasn't allowed to ask a question. There was no space in my high achieving masculine run life and then emotional vulnerability that I have to hide. Who has space for it? So I think if we allow ourselves in this perimenopausal phase to say the exploration can be curious and creative and playful and find community to do it in. You're not crazy or we're all crazy together, and we're just going to figure this out, and there's no right or wrong answer, and no one is taking anything away from you. So it's in sovereignty we get to unpack one whole red shoe for another three years? Go right ahead, girl, no one's pulling the shoe away from you, but if we can slowly untangle the things that hurt us the most limit us the most, a lot of the other stuff sorts itself. It just feels like an emergency because we've never asked ourselves the question. Lesley Logan 16:38  Yeah, it feels like an emergency because I also think like we are so, our brains don't really know how to prioritize different things, so we the red shoe and the leftovers and that big merger you're working on, or whatever it is, they all take up the same priority level in the brain. So that's why they feel like that, right? But I want to highlight something, you said, untangle. And I think that's where a lot of people don't understand that that's such a key word I got to study with BJ Fogg and his and his habits training, and he talks about how to break a habit, which is, you have to, there's no such thing. It's not a stick. You have to unravel it. Because a habit is something that you no longer like, that you do, like a habit.Shari Teigman 17:21  I don't know how to make habits. I'm like, oh, sure, you do. Where's your chocolate habit? Where is your phone scrolling habit? Like you're an epic master at your habits. Everyone needs to be different. Who is it? We're wired.Lesley Logan 17:33  We're wired, you're, it literally is a brain wiring thing. And so untangling those things, and it's true, like when you can figure out, okay, I would like to untangle that I have I don't get to choose what I'm having for dinner. You know, then it becomes, you get to figure out, well, where did it start? Well, actually, maybe everyone you've been thinking about, everybody wants for dinner, and they actually thought you were thinking what you wanted for dinner.Shari Teigman 17:57  And also you're dead on. And it's a more gentle process. It's not like you walk into the family and say, you can all fuck off and make your own food. I want pasta, and they will look at you like, did you bang your head? And then that perimenopausal terror on everyone else's face, receiving the rage is like, oh, wait a second. Can everyone pick a night like they're gentle ways to do this. I actually want everyone else to make some decisions in this house, teenagers then feel empowered. A partner is then included. You get to pick, or guess what, you're allowed to eat something different than everyone else. It's most of these parameters we put on ourselves, and we blame everyone else because we didn't ask.Lesley Logan 18:34  Yeah, yes, no, I'm laughing so hard. Okay, so my husband, he's amazing at doing projects at night. Like, he like, he like, like, the sun goes down, I go to bed, and he is like, you know, he becomes the midnight gardener. Or, like, he puts together something, or, right before I turn this on, he's like, hey, did you see the thing I did in your office? Like, he put all the cords, you know, all the cords, in like, a little sleeve. So, like, it's nice. I know, we love him. Last night, he was doing the same thing he did the same thing he did the night before. The night before, I slept like the dead. I got like a 90% recovery, last night, 1:14 I'm hearing this like It's like drilling, and I am like, did I get up and go, hey, that's I just woke up to that. No. Instead, do you know I did? I sat there for 15 minutes going, when the fuck is it gonna be done? (inaudible) And then I marched down the hall, like, what the fuck are you doing? Shari Teigman 19:28  Why is this a good idea? Lesley Logan 19:31  Why are you doing this? And he's like, I did this last night. I didn't wake up last night. And I was like, well, clears in a different part of my rim cycle. I'm clearly in a different part of my cycle right now.Shari Teigman 19:44  Wind has blown. I am no longer who I was yesterday. You should have known that.Lesley Logan 19:49  Hello, but like, it's this funny thing, because we we do take on so much, and we wait until it's the paramount explosion to say what we're thinking instead of like, I thought, at at the moment I woke up, I thought, what is that noise? And if I had just been inquisitive it could have been, oh, hey, instead of, like, the and then, of course, did I sleep? No, I didn't sleep because I was angry.Shari Teigman 20:10  You weren't finished. You were still processing. You know, it comes like someone doesn't throw out a tissue and the whole house you're on fire just because you didn't say 14 other things because, oh, it's fine. It's fine. It's no longer fine, ladies, it, none is, nothing's fine. So we have to find our voices be kind, and realize we taught everyone else how to treat us so we don't get to be mad at them. We get to teach them what the next version of us needs, and most of us have no idea. So we get to sit down with our children, and we get to sit down with our partners and our friends and our family members, as terrifying as it is, and say there's a new sheriff in town, and I'm just getting to know her, and I need a little grace. And I like I know for my partner, I'm not speaking for him, but I could see the relief on his face when I'll actually say what I'm feeling, instead of him trying to guess which mood I'm in, or I say I have no idea what I need. And he's so relieved, because then he doesn't have to figure it out. Like the people who love us just want us better. Is it over yet? I wish it was over. I don't have cold. I'm just 51 it does. I don't know when it ends.Lesley Logan 21:17  I know that's the fun part. It's like, like, and also, and also, if you care about your heart health, ladies, you want to keep it going for a really long time, so then you better figure out how to talk about what you need and how to manage is the, not the word I want to because I don't like the way that it sounds, but like navigate or dance with all of this change, because once you are on the other side of this and your brain has changed and all the things, then you get to worry about your heart. So I'm just gonna say like you might want to lengthen this out and figure out who you want to be.Shari Teigman 21:54  Also, what an opportunity. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I like to take the funny side of life. If we already feel like shit. Why don't we start unpacking when we already feel like shit? I'm not gonna wait till I feel better to then figure it out. I'll be much more honest with myself if I have frustration. It's like, you know what? I don't want to do that anymore, even though I've done it every Tuesday for the past 20 years. I'm good. I don't want to apologize for it. No is a complete sentence. I don't have to be unkind. But I'm done. I'm done with that task at work. People then learn your new boundaries, and weirdly, they adjust faster than we do. No one else stays up at night worrying about this. Oh, she wants something different, cool. Oh, God, I should have said that 20 years ago. Why didn't I say that 20 years ago? Lesley Logan 22:35  Yeah, yeah. Well, and that's, that is, I think, where a lot of people get stuck. It's like, why, why? And it's like, almost like it's that is worth exploring. And also, in the meantime, just start sticking up for yourself now.Shari Teigman 22:46  Process it later but we'll get to it. And I find a lot of my clients, both men and women, are so terrified to put down what they've been doing, because if they realize that it's much easier to get unstuck than it was to get stuck, they're mortified at how long they tortured themselves, in their mindset, in their performance, in their roles, in what they made true. I could just decide tomorrow not to be stressed about that. Obviously, there's more to it. But then, what do I do with the 20 years of torture that's I have to reconcile that I lost that time, or I gave that away, or I let someone else make decisions for me, it's painful, but we don't have to sit in it, acknowledge it, and say, I'm not going to lose any more days.Lesley Logan 23:28  Yeah, yeah. I guess, like, do they need to I mean, do they need to feel the pain? Do they need to grieve? How do they what is the best way to acknowledge it so that they can, you know, keep going with the new way and be satisfied in that?Shari Teigman 23:41  I love the question, because most people think I can't do that. You have no choice if you want to get there. I believe that equal to the level of joy and fulfillment and peace you want, you have to be willing to go as deep as you want to go high it's we don't get to close off one door and then think, you know the arrow is going to stretch without pulling it back. So I like to call it the glorious end. I can be pissed off and ready. I can be terrified and excited. I can be sad and elated about something. So if I don't allow the emotion, the emotion will sneak up on me when I don't want it, it will come out in the who put the empty cereal box back in the cabinet. It'll come out at work when it should have come out at home and vice versa. It'll come out in too small a new decision, because I don't have the bandwidth to make the real decision I want. Why would we waste more energy? So for me, I tell everyone, men and women, feel it. Punch a pillow. Cry in a pillow, write it out. Burn it out, whatever your ritual needs to be dance it out, bang it out. I'm actually coming out with a journal in a few months that is basically, it's called The Maverick Way: A Field Guide to Coming Undone on Purpose. And every exercise is more ridiculous than the next one. And it's like, the Fuck It Resume is one of them. Like, what are the things you're terrible at? Write it out like we have to tell the truth so we can't. Pretend to only have the highlight reel, and then feel like a human being I am awful at some things, which reminds me of why I'm so good at other things. Then I've got my own way. I don't know what I want. Of course, you don't know. You don't know who you are. You're not willing to say I'm not good at that. Knowing that bothers me. That makes me cry. Am I too much? Okay, am I too little for someone else? Okay. We have to take all of these rules away, feel what we need to feel, and say, I know that might not make may not make you sad, Lesley, but I've been thinking about this for 40 years, and I need to sit in this for a couple of hours and just grieve what I made okay, or mourn what I lost, the conversations I didn't have, the jobs I didn't get, the pain I allowed myself because I didn't want to hurt anyone else, like ow, that hurts, and we get tired of the feeling very quickly when we let it stick it out, when you avoid it, it will chase your ass everywhere and pop up when you don't want it. I am going to grieve, because it's part of my process of making space for something new. I'm unpacking. So I'm unpacking, and I'm understanding. In my unpack, I'm really angry at my third grade teacher because she told me that I couldn't do something, and I believed her for the next 30 years, and she wouldn't even remember who I was. So I already think it. I might as well let myself, let it come up, journal it out, write it on the wall, scream it, throw it, laugh at it. Whatever you need. You get a freedom. There's just a release. As soon as you have release, just like in our bodies, you know, Pilates, yoga, what do you do? Breathe deeper into it so it releases. Grip it. You're all in grip. You know, it's a Chinese finger, that's trapped, it's not getting out. So how do we get out of where we're trapped? We release. We go deeper in, and then we can come out. It sounds scary, but if we don't judge emotions for right or wrong, we'll just feel what I need to feel. I don't need it anymore.Lesley Logan 26:45  Oh, I love this so much. And also, are you gonna do a fuck it retreat? Because you could do a fucking retreat where we could have rooms with pillows and then the smash rooms, and then we could have those, like those phone booths you could just scream in. Shari Teigman 26:57  And then a nap room for all of the exhausted rage.Lesley Logan 27:01  Yes, oh my god, this is like this all. It could just be a fucking space, and people could just be members.Shari Teigman 27:07  Yes, I love this. Every month there's a new way to let it go.Lesley Logan 27:12  I'm in. I interviewed this guy who, like, created these booths for hospitals where, like, nurses or doctors could go in. And I think he said it was just so they could have some peace and quiet, because hospitals are really loud, and all I could think is, like, you could scream in there.Shari Teigman 27:26  I would totally. Are you telling me it's soundproof so you won't know what I'm doing in there? (inaudible)Lesley Logan 27:34  I know. Like, isn't this? I think this, in Vegas, there's a place where you can go and, like, smash things. And I'm like, you can go, like a rage.Shari Teigman 27:40  (inaudible) to one in New York. I think it's the greatest thing I've ever done in my whole life. We did it five years ago. My kids and I are still talking about it. It was so powerful, and it was very meditative. And I never felt stronger in my life. We were running in the streets afterwards, kicking garbage cans, which maybe they should have a restroom afterwards, because we were so amped up.Lesley Logan 28:01  Like, like a waiting area, like a reentry.Shari Teigman 28:05  We're gonna integrate before we let you on the streets of Brooklyn, lady, thanks.Lesley Logan 28:11  Oh, my god, I love that so much. Okay, so obviously, like, you work with these amazing Mavericks, and you do have a lot of experience, and you talk about perimenopause, is there anything that you find in the perimenopause space with women? Because that's we have a lot of and we have, you know, we have a women who are on the other side and enjoy your space, ladies, I hope you're, hope you're having a great time. We'll get this. Shari Teigman 28:30  We're coming as fast as we can.Lesley Logan 28:33  But is there, are there signs and symptoms that people are ignoring? Because I think, like everyone pays attention to the medical ones, the hot flashes or dryness, or my whatever, but like, what about like, the emotional? And that's one of the things I think I tried. There's these, these things that come out in our personalities.Shari Teigman 28:50  I think it's that. It's those days you feel like Jekyll and Hyde, and then you're counting your cycle, and you're wondering, it's not physical, it's the emotional, shorter fuse. Care about less things, because sometimes we're more emotional and other times we're equal amounts of completely numb. So when you feel yourself numbing out, notice when you feel yourself raging about something you didn't care about before. Or I know for me, the lack of control when a brain fog comes in, I'm obviously creative and very cerebral and very verbal, and when I can't remember my name or remember how to say the word pink, I get terrified. I thought I had dementia. I didn't know this was a thing. I was I something's wrong with me, so noticing when you just don't feel like yourself, like I remember when I was pregnant with my first son, I was 24, what the hell was I doing? But okay, I was 24 shouldn't have been allowed to cross the street by myself, and I didn't lose him. He's great. We were figuring things out as we go. But we have these books What to Expect When You're Expecting. Never read them. If you don't have the symptoms that week you think something's wrong, and the last time I checked a woman's body, you and I could be next to each other. We won't have anything that's the same. Why the hell would I follow someone else's blueprint for life, pregnancy, for business, for relationships? I don't want blueprints. I want tear away sheets where I can make it up and then throw it out when I'm done. So if you feel something that isn't you and you're not sure how you feel about it, because some of us like that, all of a sudden I care less or that I can't remember every detail about some gossip someone told me that I don't not interested in. I kind of like that it blows out. So when I started noticing the difference, because I was scared, I only paid attention to the bad things. But when I found out I wasn't dying, I blessedly, didn't have dementia, I'm just lucky enough to graduate to the next video game of mother of womanhood, yay. And the new monsters are coming. I tried to look at, what are the good things? And I do that with all the FemGevity women is, what do you like in the midst of it that I can't juggle as much as I used to? So, I used to be queen multitasker, and I can't do it anymore, and it's okay, and it's actually really nice for my nervous system not to be the master of all at all times, like, I don't have that valve anymore, I can enjoy that, that when I want to be present, I can actually feel more present, because I can't be on as much as I used to be. I care less about a lot of things, so I will speak out for myself, not as much as I'd like to, but much more than I used to, because I can't keep it in anymore. It just comes out of my mouth, like, who, who said that? I would never used to say that. So look at the pros and cons of this. If we're on this roller coaster, instead of just gripping the bar, maybe we could put our hands up once in a while. Maybe we can enjoy the view from at the top of it before we drop. So what are the things that if you could let go of that you've never been able to your whole life? What if this is the opportunity to loosen some of the glue, move some of those joints and let it out anyway, in the wash, because it's going so we don't have to hold everything and new hobbies, things that I haven't made the time for, that my brain can use as new instead of I used to be good at this, and I'm not anymore. What else do I want to try? So I travel a lot for work, so I'm in London for a month, New York for a month, alternating. So I try to let my brain be a different version of me, wherever I am, because I'm jet lagged and exhausted, even if I didn't go anywhere. So it's like, okay, which version is going to be me? So like, I'm in London now, when I go home, I saw a three hour DJ class. I'm not a musician. I know nothing about it, but my brain wants something new to chew on, instead of all the mistakes that I've made and all the things that I can't remember and where did I put my keys? I'm going to go use it for something fun. If there's space in there, because I can't remember anything, I might as well put something good in there. So I think it's the permission to let it flow out of you, good and bad at the same time, and just say you're moving anyway. So you know, when you move house, like, while it's emotional and sad, you find shit you didn't even know was there. So the piles for donation and the clearing out of the 14 mugs you got at someone's Bar Mitzvah that you don't need. Like, it's a great time to let stuff go. We don't have to pack it all and bring it to the next place. So I think if you look at it as a time of decluttering and re-deciding those mental symptoms can be less scary. It's not, oh, I'm gone. No, that version of me doesn't want to be here anymore, because if it did, I'd find a way to keep her.Lesley Logan 33:22  Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. I'm obsessed with you and all this. And there is the woman who's listening going, okay, well, easy, easy for you to say, you know what? I mean, like, what do you what do you say to the person who's like, kind of, and I'm sure you've met them, they kind of fight to to hold, I mean, we already talked about this, fighting to hold on to the shoes.Shari Teigman 33:42  (inaudible) I am her, so I was the biggest train wreck in this of anybody. I've got two kids in their 20s. My mom, who was my best friend, passed away a year and a half ago. I work internationally, so I never know what time zone I'm in, and then perimenopause hits, and I'm 4'11" and gained about 45 pounds overnight, so I looked like a little blueberry. I didn't like I don't know what. Everything changed at once. And I'm a fighter. The psychiatrist told me I'm scrappy. I still have that personality trait. I don't go down easily. I don't surrender easily, which is why I'm really good at what I do, because I know the resistance. If 17 years ago, me met me now, I would cross the street. I would never go anywhere near me, because I didn't want the help. I didn't think anything was wrong. I couldn't handle the silence of my own mind. I was in survival mode. So like I get it, I want everyone to know they're looking and listening at a version of two women. I don't know your backstory, but I know you do the work. Who do the work? Which means there was a reason we started the work. You're seeing an evolved version of us. I mean, if you want the old me, I'm good, I'll tell you. And you people say to me, why do you tell everyone everything like so they don't put me on some imaginary pedestal. I'm crazier than you. I'm ragier here than you. I have more mood swings than you. I. Work with people, and I don't like them so much most of the time. I love souls. I don't like all the people-y stuffs like, I'm friendly, and then I'm not. I'm an introvert, and then I'm an extrovert. I'm on stage dancing, then I don't want to talk to anyone like I am the whole kaleidoscope. So for all the women thinking, oh, but you've got it figured out, I made it up as I go along, and I make it up every day, and people pay me a lot of money to help them make it up also. So if we make it playful and we make it funny, it's easier to untangle, it's easier to get out of our shackles, because everyone's making it up. Lesley Logan 35:33  Yeah? Well, that's the thing, right? Like, that's the thing you like, discover along your entrepreneurial journey. I'm like, I'm in a room with all these people who are making all this time, like, oh, you just bought ads and (inaudible).Shari Teigman 35:46  And you're crying in the bathroom too, while I wanted to take a selfie with you because I thought you were a guru, I'd rather hug you in the bathroom crying. This is even better. Lesley Logan 35:52  Yeah, yeah. And it's, it's really, it's so true, right? Like, because, like, we're on social media, and people can be like, the the typewriter troll, who's like, oh, easy. It's like, and I have just come to the place where I'm like, I really do like, this phase I'm in. I'm like, no, I was homeless 10 years ago, and I've worked my ass off to do my dream job. (inaudible) Yeah, yeah. So I've worked my ass off. And so you might think I'm this, but I'm gonna tell you right now, I deserve everything that I have right now because I work for it. So don't take that from me and.Shari Teigman 36:16  Go (inaudible) your mother's basement and (inaudible) someone else.Lesley Logan 36:26  Exactly. So, but, like, it's so fun. Like, I'm like, wow, the 10 years ago version be like, oh my god. People think I'm this. Shari Teigman 36:34  An imposter. Yeah, no, I am fully me. Sorry everyone. Lesley Logan 36:37  Yeah, but I do. I'm with you. Like, I also think that a lot of people we do have, we have put on imaginary pedestals, have told us their traumas and their stories, and we only we are like, this is this? You are the Mecca that I need to be, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna do all the things. And so I think it's really easy for us to just forget that stuff. And I appreciate your honesty. And I also think thank you for sharing like for everyone listening, I hope you heard like, you just have to kind of get started and get to know every single day. You can't wait until you feel ready. You're not gonna feel ready. I'm sure, I'm sure Shari's never felt, I don't feel ready. Shari Teigman 37:12  I don't feel ready even when I am ready because I wouldn't even ask myself that question, well, we're doing this then, aren't we?Lesley Logan 37:18  Yeah, yeah. It's true. Yeah. It's so true. Because, like, the one time I I said, okay, people, it was many years ago, but the first time I was teaching like 85 people, and all these people had come to this, the first time this event was happening. So, like, I was so, like, I felt blessed and honored and excited to be invited to this, the inaugural of this thing. And I'm looking at all these people who've, like, wanted to take class with me, and they know what they're doing. And then I'm looking at this front this front row of people who just wanted to support me, but they've never done anything. And I'm like, oh my God. I have people who don't know what they're doing. I have people who have this expectation of me that I don't even know what it is. And my husband was micing me, and I'm like, is the mic on? And he's like, no. And I'm like, I'm actually, like, really nervous, right? Like, I don't think I can do this. Shari Teigman 38:01  I don't even ask if the mic's on. I'm like, I'm gonna ship myself, and it'll be 600 people waiting, and I don't want to go, who gave me this microphone? Who thinks I can do this? And then 20 seconds later, I'm on stage, arm flapping like nothing happened. Like, bring all of it with us. If you weren't scared, you wouldn't have missed the whole thing.Lesley Logan 38:19  Yeah, well, and also, and that's just exactly it. And he just like at me, and he just said, how is this different than what you already do? And I was just like, oh, that's right, thank you. Thank you for the reminder that, like it's, I'm fine, but I think, like it's, it's so important that you all hear like we're every person you put on a pedestal. You hear their story, you're like, oh my god, I'm so inspired. They wake up every day and have to figure out who they are that day, like they all do. Shari Teigman 38:44  The panic in our stomach some days and the anxiety. And I'm not wishing anyone stuff they don't have, but I want you to know everyone has their version of this, and it's not, oh, you're so brave. I didn't have a choice, so I got brave. And some days I'm not brave and but unfortunately, I'm a naturally happy, sad person, so like, I navigate this who are we going to be today? I want to be happy, but I feel sad, but I am happy, but I'm also sad. I stopped trying to pick one or the other. I'm both. I love when I'm on a podcast and like BJ Fogg's sister Linda is a friend of mine. We were in a mastermind together years ago. Lesley Logan 39:20  She lives, she lives in my town. Shari Teigman 39:21  Linda, you're kidding me. I love she's amazing. How funny. What a small world. That's crazy, like I watched the Linda's and the BJs of the world, and it's brilliant, and it's all very organized, and it's strategic, and it makes sense. And then you've got me, who is complete creative chaos. It's the only way I know how to function. You either love it or I terrify you. I'm fine with both. I can't, not going to change. I've tried. This is who I am, and I'll be on a podcast big audience, and they're like so Shari, what are your rituals every morning? And I burst out laughing, because I'm not going to lie to anyone which day, which mood, which temperature. What's it like outside? What am I wearing? I don't know. I wake up every morning I decide what I want to feel. I'll start with a feeling I want connection today. So yes, my days are crazy and scheduled, and I'm blessed to have a very busy coaching practice, and I run a department for a company in a country, in another country like I don't have a lot of flexibility in my time, and I still have to lead with what I need. Otherwise, no one else will get anything from me, and it took me a long time to not go into my own performance mode to help everyone else with their performance. What? I stepped into the same step for wife game that I was in my marriage. Climbed out of that, and I'm like, oh, coach world, green juice, yoga pants, alignment, words, what am I wearing? It's all lovely. If it works for you, that's when the Maverick was born. It's either going to be my way or I can't do it. Stop trying to pick up everyone else's way of fitting into your own life. It won't fit you. So again, it's that curiosity, it's that playfulness, it's the bad mood and good mood mixed together. Then you're being honest.Lesley Logan 40:54  Yeah, it's true. I am. I have three hours every morning for a morning routine, and the very start of my morning routine is the same. I get into a cold plunge. I read three books that are like daily things that I'm hopeful that something sticks, and then I go for a walk. And then after the walk, it's like, okay, what do I want to do? Do I want to do Pilates? Do I want to do my shake plate? Do I want to do my red light? Do I want to have breakfast now or breakfast later? And it has to go with what I'm feeling, which is why I gave myself three hours to do that because I, like you, I, well, I just discovered I have ADHD, which is its own fun thing, to discover perimenopausal. And then you're just like, oh, I'm the one they need to I thought my husband had ADHD. No, I do. And then it's like, wait a minute. So I'm overwhelmed because of the ADHD and. Shari Teigman 41:47  All of it, yeah. Lesley Logan 41:49  Just like, What do you mean? I can't, like, I'm also freaking out about the typing of the fingers because I, like, I just thought that I just had sensory integration disorder. So it's just you have to, excuse me, excuse me. I just wasn't diagnosed as a child and and here we are and now I get to know myself and perimenopause. But I think, like, I love that you share that, because I think that there's a world where you can be in the yoga pants with the green juice and the alignment words, and if it does, yes, and if it doesn't work for you. You can be like Shari and I and you can ask yourself how you want to feel, and give yourself the time to feel that. And I think that that's brilliant, yeah. Shari Teigman 42:27  And then have your green juice, or take a nap or rage or sleep or meditate like it's all wonderful, but none of these things are going to save you from yourself till you know yourself.Lesley Logan 42:34  Yeah, oh my god.Shari Teigman 42:34  It doesn't work. I tried it.Lesley Logan 42:34  I'm obsessed with you. We're gonna take a brief break and find out how people can find you, follow you, work with you, and your Be It Action Items. Lesley Logan 42:44  All right, Shari, where do you hang out? Where will this journal be when it's ready? Where can they stalk you?Shari Teigman 42:55  So I hang out on Instagram. I am there. I am loud. Sometimes I'm consistent. This is my consistency. I'm gone for a week, and then you'll see me 14 stories later. It just depends on the mood. When the mood strikes and the ideas come, the journal will be out, I'm hoping in February, which is extremely exciting. It's being designed now by a chaotic designer, which is perfect for me. And I love making new friends so they can come and come say hi to me on Instagram. It's Shari Teigman. You'll see me with my crazy glasses. As I'm known for a variety of glasses, it only happened because I'm on Zoom all day long, and I get very tired of looking at my face, so I needed to mix it up so that I wouldn't be bored. So I'm saying hi.Lesley Logan 43:39  I just needed some magic to look at. There were signs that I had ADHD. I'm like, let's put stars on your hands.Shari Teigman 43:44  I wouldn't have known it, right? I don't know where it came from. So I'm there. This is what I'm like all the time. I love when someone gets on a call with me, like a sales call, like, oh my god, you're exactly like you are online. Who else could I be? This is enough trouble to maintain you think I'm gonna have another personality for someone else? So I'm exactly like this. No one else answers my messages. I love meeting new people. I'd love to hear what you got from the podcast, what you're working on, what's your Maverick? What do you want to say out loud that you won't say to anyone else, like, I'm here to witness it. Come and play.Lesley Logan 44:17  Gosh. Okay, you have really given us so much already, but we do like our bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps at the end. What do you have for us?Shari Teigman 44:25  So I actually felt long and hard about this, which you should feel special, Lesley. Lesley Logan 44:29  I do. I actually really do. Shari Teigman 44:30  (inaudible) about anything, so I'll think about it and then I'll forget it. So it's not a want to, it's just in and out. So I think, based upon everything we talked about, an easy action step to live this is it's a hard one to say out loud, but it's going to punch everyone in the face, which is why I like it. Clean up the internal contradictions, and it's as simple as you're saying you want a bigger life, but you keep making micro choices. You're lying to your nervous system. You're answering an older version of yourself. You have to understand that the identity that you want for the life that you want is going to require aligned actions to that. So it's as simple as I say, I want to do Pilates every day, and yet I find myself laying on the couch. Pilates isn't happening. I did it today. I am tired from jet lag. I'm a yoga person. I love it, and I haven't done it so I could tell you, I love yoga, but I haven't done it in six weeks. I didn't realize till I said, when's the last time I took my mat out? Oh my god, I would have told you I did it a few days ago. Perimenopausal brain, I thought I did. So, telling ourselves the truth and cleaning up the internal contradictions makes us stop looking for answers from the outside of like, how come I just can't do it because you're not telling yourself the truth. So if I choose to lay on the couch, maybe I needed it that day. Maybe I didn't realize that that's what I wanted. Like, if I decide to stay on the couch, I do it intentionally. If I decide to do the yoga I don't check my phone in between, like, choose whatever it is intentionally and clean up those internal contradictions. The questions you ask will be much more clear and much more honest, and then you'll get to some answers.Lesley Logan 46:07  It is a good punch in the face, and I really like it. Shari Teigman 46:09  I punch myself in the face with it too. I'm like, oh god, if I say it out loud, I then have to do it.Lesley Logan 46:17  I it's so true, and it's really it's really funny. We get smart like, then I'll just keep it to myself, but.Shari Teigman 46:23  Not gonna unleash that one. Are we? Lesley Logan 46:25  No, I'm like, I won't tell anyone, and then they won't know. Shari Teigman 46:29  Let me know how it goes. Lesley Logan 46:31  Yeah. Oh, that one is so good. I'm so glad to have you. I mean, we're gonna have to have you back. I can't believe we haven't crossed paths, because I feel like you are just a dear friend in my life already. You guys, I agree with Shari. What touched you, what made you think like, what? Where did you go, oh, fuck it, Shari. Can't believe you called me out. She wants to know. I want to know. So tag her. Tag the Be It Pod. Share this with a girlfriend who needs to hear it like cheer for the scrappy front of the resilient friend, because I know that they need to feel so seen, and you know what to do. Until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 47:03  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 47:46  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 47:51  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 47:55  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 48:02  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 48:05  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Are you wheeling around a pile of emotional baggage you've mistakenly labeled as your identity? In this recap episode, Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell dive into the transformative insights shared by Shari Teigman, a dynamic performance coach and creative business strategist who specializes in guiding high achievers through major life transitions. Shari reveals why coming undone is the prerequisite for authenticity, especially for those navigating midlife identity shifts. The hosts break down the red shoes metaphor, the necessity of active emotional release, and why joy requires going massively deep internally. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:How to unpack other people's baggage to reclaim your own identity. The grieving process is an important part of unpacking to feel joy. Learn how Swedish death cleaning prevents leaving baggage for others.Why it's important to acknowledge your emotions as neither good nor bad. Clean up internal contradictions and choose intentional actions over excuses.Episode References/Links:eLevate Mentorship Program - lesleylogan.co/elevateOPC Spring Training - opc.me/eventsOPC Summer Tour - opc.me/tourContrology Spine Corrector - opc.me/spinecorrectorSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questionsShari Teigman Website - https://shariteigman.comShari Teigman Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/shariteigmanThe Maverick Way - https://beitpod.com/themaverickwayThe Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning - https://a.co/d/06TuBmbwEp. 589 ft. Brad Bizjack - https://beitpod.com/ep589Ep. 183 with Dr. Bender episode - https://beitpod.com/ep183 If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  So you ultimately have to understand why you keep repacking the same thing in order to finally get a chance to make any real choices. So I love this because, like, I feel like some people think that they're self-sabotaging, or they're in the same spiral, and it's like, yeah, but you kept packing the same stuff, expecting a new result. Brad Crowell 0:18  Or you're carrying around the old shit. Lesley Logan 0:19  Yes but and you just keep repacking the old shit, and that's why you don't get anything new. Lesley Logan 0:25  Welcome to the be it till you see it, podcast where we talk about taking messy action knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan Pilate instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained 1000s of people around the world, and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it till you see it. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:07  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the unraveling convo I had with Shari Teigman in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, you can pause this one and then listen to that one, or you can listen to this one here. We have to say we've got some fun stuff to talk about, and then go listen that one. But you cannot miss it.Brad Crowell 1:25  It's an epic episode. Lesley Logan 1:26  I want to be friends with her. Brad Crowell 1:27  Yeah, she's badass.Lesley Logan 1:29  I do. We should tell her, when we're in London, I don't like I really. Brad Crowell 1:32  We should tell her when we're in London. Lesley Logan 1:33  I don't know how we're gonna fit in another meal, but like, she can meet me for I don't know. She's great. Anyway.,Brad Crowell 1:39  She might be in New York. She lives between the two. Lesley Logan 1:42  She does live between the two. You know what? Then, if she doesn't at least we reached out. But, you know, at least we reached out. The sign that you have ADHD is that you want to hang out with someone, and then you hope that they're not available. Lesley Logan 1:53  Okay, today, while you guys are listening to this is April 30th 2026 and today we're bringing awareness to two things. Brad Crowell 2:00  Two things. Lesley Logan 2:01  So Walpurgis night. Brad Crowell 2:03  Walpurgis night.Lesley Logan 2:03  The Mass of St. Walpurgis Night or Walpurgis Night, is observed on April 30th in parts of northern and eastern Europe, from Sweden to the Czech Republic. It is known as Walpurgis in German speaking nations, Valborg in Sweden and Čarodejnice. Brad Crowell 2:20  Good job. I'm really impressed. Lesley Logan 2:22  There's a J and an N connected to each other. Brad Crowell 2:24  Čarodejnice. Lesley Logan 2:26  Čarodejnice because there's an E in there too. In the Czech Republic.Brad Crowell 2:29  We butchered the hell out of that. So if you don't know how to say it, send us a voicemail, send us a DM.Lesley Logan 2:35  You can, you can call us and leave us a message. And I would love to hear how to say that. (inaudible) Walpurgis Night is also known as the other Halloween. For example, on April 30th, a traditional Walpurgis night ritual involves the burning of an effigy of a witch on a campfire in Sweden. This is a bonfire night once thought to ward off evil spirits, but it's now a fun way to get rid of excess gardening trash. I'm here for the gardening trash. I'm not here for burning fucking witches. So, Brad, you sold me this wrong, because I didn't realize we're burning a witch. Brad Crowell 3:07  It said an effigy of a witch.Lesley Logan 3:09  An effigy of a witch. That's burning a witch. This is we are upset. We're rejecting.Brad Crowell 3:15  Oh, yeah, it's the sculpture or model of a person. Lesley Logan 3:18  Yeah. Brad Crowell 3:18  Well, we're getting rid of those witches. Lesley Logan 3:20  No, no, the witches are the healers, Brad, look it up. So the witches actually were the women healers who had all the information, and they kept it, and they passed it down to the other women about all these different ways to heal from different illnesses and aches and pains, and also how to do periods. And they had these wonderful, wonderful informations. And when they made those healers witches, those women became people that no one could talk to. They became untouchables. And so after three generations, you now no longer have history, and that is how they control you ladies, that's how they do it. So anyways, now that I've fixed that day, why don't you go on with the holiday that sounds way better?Brad Crowell 3:59  Oh yeah, we're not for burning witches. International Jazz Day, this is Brad's excitement here, join with people around the world as this day promotes jazz's roots and our intercultural influence every year, on April 30th. All that jazz. Many considered America's classical music, yeah, maybe, after all, jazz began in New Orleans over 100 years ago. Legendary jazz pianist and composer Herbie Hancock, along with, along with the UN helped create International Jazz Day in 2011. Read on for a musical look distinctly American art form, and don't miss out on a list of four cool jazz sub genres. Lesley Logan 4:36  Brad, what are those four sub genres? Brad Crowell 4:38  I have no idea, and didn't read the rest of that whole book. But what I can tell you is that this is something I love, I'm passionate about. I grew up listening on the way home from soccer practice with my dad, we would listen to 90.1 and it was Temple's Jazz, Temple Philadelphia Jazz station. So it really left an impact on me as a youngster, I got really into the music. And my dad wasn't really playing like performing jazz, but he does play the trombone. And was playing the trombone at the church, never playing jazz. He was always playing, you know, hymns and choirs, stuff, whatever. But, you know, I got really into that, and that was an inspiration as a kid to play the trombone myself. And then all through high school, I got really into jazz, and then I went to college for it, and I studied the trombone playing jazz there. And when I moved out to L.A. I sat all that down, and I started playing rock and roll with my bass guitar and singing and all that stuff. It was fun. But coming to Vegas, just down the street from where we live, is a lovely. Lesley Logan 5:34  Less than a mile. It's like half a mile, maybe three quarters, but. Brad Crowell 5:37  It is a hour that hosts a live jazz night every Monday night, and it's fantastic. Like the musicians are, you know, either grads or they're going through UNLV's Jazz programs. Some of them are doing their masters in music. And these guys get together and they jam every Friday. Lesley Logan 5:55  Monday. Brad Crowell 5:55  Every Monday, sorry, every Monday. And I have been very intentional about making sure I'm there. I just love listening. And I literally am, like, the super dork. People think I'm the manager or the owner of the bar. Lesley Logan 6:06  Because he has his computer out, you guys, and he works.Brad Crowell 6:08  Because I take my laptop and I work in the back corner. Lesley Logan 6:10  I'm like, 10 till 2. 10 pm till 2 am.Brad Crowell 6:13  Yeah, one. Usually I'm leaving around 1:15 but it's three hours of live jazz. They do three sets, and the third set is my favorite, because, talking about sub genres, they always start with, like, a little bit, like, you know, lower, more palatable, as it were, and by the end of the night they're playing, like, huge, like, intense fusion, crazy, like, like, like driving music. And I eat that up. I love that. I think it's, it is also my ADHD brain.Lesley Logan 6:41  Are we gonna tell them where to go for this jazz music? Brad Crowell 6:43  Yeah, it's called The Hard Hat, The Hard Hat Bar. Brad Crowell 6:46  You're trying to keep it to yourself but you're selling it. Brad Crowell 6:48  Yeah, yeah. No one else will love to go. I have my spot in the corner, so. Lesley Logan 6:50  Also, if you're in Vegas on a Monday night, there's not a lot to do. This is a thing you can do, and it's one of the oldest parts. It's not the oldest bar, but people think it is. It's one of the oldest bars.Brad Crowell 6:59  It was in the is started in the 60's, I think.Lesley Logan 7:01  Yeah. According to Las Vegas City (inaudible), it's the third oldest bar.Brad Crowell 7:05  Yeah, but we love it. I love it. Lesley has been there once I think. Lesley Logan 7:08  Zero times. Brad Crowell 7:08  Zero times? You've never been?Lesley Logan 7:09  You've never taken me. Nope. That's why.Brad Crowell 7:10  It's not I haven't taken you. You there's never a chance where you're awake. Zero chances that you're awake.Lesley Logan 7:16  There's zero chances, I mean, on a Monday night. But I here's the thing, guys, I gotta go, because Brad doesn't really under, like, he didn't really understand what like signals he was putting out one Monday night. These people were at his table where he has his computer so he can watch and be on his computer. So he just kept looking at the people at this table over and over and over again. Brad Crowell 7:35  Yeah, I kept glancing and like, how many drinks are these people gonna have, like I want my corner. I like my little spot.  Lesley Logan 7:41  And then he, like, had us finally sit down with his back to them. So then he kept turning around and looking at them, and so they bought him a drink, thinking he was hitting on them.Brad Crowell 7:52  It's true. They definitely, I apparently got caught looking and and I realized, oh yeah, okay, that happened.Lesley Logan 7:59  Yeah, I'm just fine when you're table, although I this would happen to anybody like us, because, like, I'm near my table, that's my spot. Anyways, I'll get to The Hard Hat one of these days, one of these Tuesdays, I won't have to get up at five in the morning, so I'll check it out. But go, go listen to some jazz. Go just play it on your Spotify today, because it's International Jazz Day.Brad Crowell 8:14  If you want, if you want some recommendations, I'm a big fan of a US based group. They're from DC area. They're named Snarky Puppy, and it's, it's a really cool group, because they are like a mix of different musicians that will come in and leave. So sometimes this the band might be four people, sometimes it might be 20 people, right? And they and they just, wherever they do concerts, they pull in all these locals, and they have, like the band director effectively, is a brilliant composer, and he composes with other people. But I've really enjoyed listening to Snarky Puppy. So if you're wondering, you know, what are we talking about here, check them out. Brad Crowell 8:53  I hope people have an idea of jazz. I would love so. The world is going to hell. And I think it is really, especially hell, if you have not heard some jazz.Brad Crowell 9:01  Yeah, but I'm not listening to like, Kenny G elevator jazz, like, that's not my jam. I want something that has definitely got more, you know, juice.Lesley Logan 9:10  Yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, thanks, babe, thanks for, I love your holiday.Brad Crowell 9:15  I have another one. I'm gonna share one more. Lesley Logan 9:16  Okay. Brad Crowell 9:17  So Stan Kenton's Cuban Fire Suite is a journey, and it's worth just sitting down with a, you know, a glass of wine and listening to it from start to finish. I love it. Have so much fun. Enjoy that. Brad Crowell 9:27  All right, here's what's coming up. So Lesley is super busy tomorrow, starting all day, because we have a whole bunch of people coming to the house. They're actually been coming through all day today, doing private sessions with Lesley, and tomorrow she's kicking off the Cadillac Weekend. Lesley Logan 9:42  It's the third weekend of five weekends. Brad Crowell 9:44  For eLevate, her mentorship program.Lesley Logan 9:47  Yeah, and if you're wanting to know more information about 2027's eLevate, there's a few spots left. We actually, on the day we're recording this, accepted two more people. So between, they may have already put their deposit in, which maybe we really like have three spots left, but don't be like, oh, I'm never gonna get it. Like, if you want it, fine, right? Like, we can talk about it. The application is really easy. It's mostly so I can make sure it's the right program for you. I don't, I don't want to sell you something that's not what you're looking for. So lesleylogan.co/elevate. A seventh through the 10th, we'll be in, well, Scottsdale, actually, Brad, we're in Scottsdale at P.O.T. so we hope to see you there. We'll have a booth. I'm not teaching at it, but we'll have a booth. So come, come by. Say hi. I think we're gonna have the dog. Lesley Logan 10:27  Yeah, we're gonna bring Bayon. We're driving in. We're taking the dog. It's a camp tent. Brad Crowell 10:33  We called ahead, and they were like, oh yeah, we're totally dog friendly toys, we're ike, heck, yeah, let's do it.Lesley Logan 10:37  So we're bringing our dog, because it would be so sad. We'll have him home for a month and we have to leave him again. Spring Training is right after we get back. It is May 12th to the 17th. It's about getting upside down, getting overhead. It's really like all the OPC teachers and I are using the workouts.Brad Crowell 10:51  That's OPC Spring Training.Lesley Logan 10:52  Yeah, we're using the workouts and on the mat reformer, tower, and Wunda chair to help you understand the connections, you need to actually do upside down overhead exercises with control and strength so you don't have to fear about hurting your neck or or also you think like I can't do these exercises. I have belly abundance or chest abundance, or whatever. Now there are people that they're not ideally for, but well, you'll learn the replacement exercises for yourself. So you can be in any of these classes, because I do not believe to be an advanced practitioner you do upside down stuff. To be an advanced Pilates practitioner, you have to have connections, so you could be doing non upside down stuff and be an advanced practitioner. So I'm excited for you for that. So opc.me/events and then Summer Tour is literally gonna be announced at any moment, and if it hasn't already so opc.me/tour.Brad Crowell 11:39  Tickets are coming at the end of May or beginning of June, because it'll basically be after spring training.Lesley Logan 11:46  Yeah, right after. So we are going to do, we are doing, and we're doing a route we've never done before.Brad Crowell 11:51  Yeah, I know I'm excited. We're going to be going straight across the middle of the country all the way out to Knoxville, and then we're going to loop back around and hit North Texas on the way back. And then I think we're going to do Tucson, because we haven't been there in a really long time. Lesley Logan 12:01  Yeah, fixing it up, giving another city in Arizona some love, so. Lesley Logan 12:06  But go to opc.me/tour.Lesley Logan 12:11  Oh my god, we've already seen the merch.Brad Crowell 12:13  It's really fun. Lesley Logan 12:14  You guys, even though every year, every tour, we're like, that's so great. How could it get better? It gets better, it gets better. It gets better. So anyways, we have to get into Shari, because she's so great. But before we do that, we have a question.Brad Crowell 12:25  We sure do. @laurat9266 from YouTube asks, hey, would you ever consider a springboard for home use over the Wunda chair or spine corrector? I am gonna jump in right now.Lesley Logan 12:38  Okay, tell me, what do you think?Brad Crowell 12:39  They do, completely different thing.Lesley Logan 12:41  Great job. Brad. Way to go.Brad Crowell 12:42  Thank you. Like, why not have both.Lesley Logan 12:45  Well, and also, like a springboard, it just hangs on the wall, takes up almost no space, so you could still have room for a spine corrector. Brad Crowell 12:47  Well, that's what I mean. You clearly need a reformer to do the springboard, so.Lesley Logan 12:47  No, you just need a wall. The springboard is like a. Brad Crowell 12:47  I was thinking the jump board. Lesley Logan 12:47  You were thinking a jump board. But also still a different thing. Brad Crowell 12:54  They still do different things. Lesley Logan 13:00  Yeah. So the springboard is, like, what you see on the walls with it's like, my wall unit, but like, half of a wall, because it doesn't even stick out from the wall. Brad Crowell 13:10  Right. This just got a couple hooks in it. Lesley Logan 13:12  Because I don't know why you're considering these three, right? Like, it sounds like space might be a diff, like, what we're talking about. Brad Crowell 13:19  Well, maybe also cost. Lesley Logan 13:20  Yeah or it could be cost. Springboards can be expensive, you guys, like, they are almost the same price as my tower, my tower, because I bought the high mat with it, it's like $2,200 full price. So like a springboard is like $1,700 I'm you have to look at these things, and also, who knows, because of all the shits going on. So use my discount. We'll put our, we'll put our Balanced Body, Contrology discount in here. But here's the thing, it depends on what you need. So if you're someone who has a bit more asymmetries, and you're more building your connections up than a springboard, or I prefer my Controlology wall tower, to be honest, because it has the push through bar and it's away from the wall, so it actually provides you the opportunity to do monkey, which you need space behind the tower to do. And also there's some things you can hang off the poles for, like there's just stuff you can do that you can't do with a springboard. So I prefer that if you're using that that can be a great way to take your mat practice to the next level, reformer practice to the next level, and develop the connections you need to advance your practice. When you look at equipment, when the space, the surface space, gets smaller, the more advanced it gets. So the Wunda chair, if you look at the surface space of a Wunda chair, compared to a mat or reformer or Cadillac, springboard, would be using a mat. It's going to be a more advanced piece of equipment. It's going to challenge the connections you have. There's definitely a lot of uses for it to teach exercises that are more advanced on the reformer and mat. It's just inherently a bit more of an advanced piece of equipment. It requires strong balance and connections. Has a lot of great work for asymmetry connections, but it's not easy. It's definitely got a challenge I love I love it, and I think it's wonderful for home use. Also you can do like five, six exercises on. And jump off. It's not it's great. The spine corrector is a whole different modality. So if you were to get one, only one thing, I would say, if you have access to doing mat work or going to a studio for other stuff, get a spine corrector because there's very few spine corrector classes, and every single person who listens to this podcast should be on a spine corrector, every single person. There is a plethora of exercises on there, but there's two series on there that everyone can do almost daily without overworking themselves, and that is the arm series and the leg series. So I really love a spine corrector. I love the Contrology one, mostly. But if you have an arc, you can check and look at my videos. I have tips on how to do that. So I would just say, like it really depends on what your goals are, Laura, and then it's go from there, you'll pick but you could honestly have all three of these in the same space, because, like the spine corrector can hang on a wall, the Springboard's on a wall, the Wunda chair can be pushed up against someone when it's not in use, you could pull it all out. So that's you know. Get them all.Brad Crowell 16:01  If you want to know which Contrology spine corrector she's talking about, just go to opc.me/spinecorrector opc.me/spinecorrector, and you'll be able to find that over there. Yeah. So great question. Thanks for asking. If you have a question, just text us at 310-905-5534, or— Lesley Logan 16:16  Go ahead.Brad Crowell 16:16  You can submit it through, beitpod.com/questions where you can leave both a win and a question or one or the other. Lesley Logan 16:25  And you can also, anytime you want to buy anything from Balanced Body or Controlology, like, reach out for our affiliate link, because if you if you can get a discount, you should, and if you can't, well, I mean, there's reasons why you can't, but you can always just talk to me and we'll figure out if it works. But like, why not try? Doesn't hurt. Brad Crowell 16:42  Why not try? Love it. Yeah, stick around. We'll be right back. Brad Crowell 16:46  Welcome back. Let's dig into this convo you have with Shari Teigman. Shari is a dynamic performance coach and creative business strategist who empowers driven individuals to break free from conventional expectations and unleash the Maverick within. She specializes in guiding ambitious professionals and high achievers who are exhausted by the status quo and currently navigating life's major transitions such as midlife identity shifts and perimenopause. Using her bold, unconventional approach, she helps clients authentically unpack their emotional baggage, resolve internal contradictions and intentionally design lives guided by their own rules.Lesley Logan 17:27  We could have had her for three episodes like she's just phenomenal, has so much to share.Brad Crowell 17:33  I enjoy her transparency. I think it's really funny to me to listen to someone who is willing to be transparent so that people don't judge them. Because I know I do that, like, I build the caveat into the statement with what the things that I say. And I was listening to her do it, and I was like, and then she acknowledged that she was doing it. I was like, oh, that's really interesting. I get that.Lesley Logan 17:55  I also think that we both do it, and I've never acknowledged it. Sometimes I do. I'm like, I'm about to acknowledge, like, this is gonna sound hypocritical, but like, I don't know, like, I understand. Like, I like to say those things not to be judged. But like, so people know that I don't sit here on my pedestal like I've got it all together. You know? I think we all have to be human. Anyways, that's not what I loved. I loved, she said, in our lives, we walk around carrying everyone else's red shoes, pile of crap, and you walk around wheeling it with you, because you call it identity, you call it belonging. And she said, the first piece to finding yourself is to unpack. And I just, I was like, oh, that is like, what a visual, what a visual. We wheel this pile of crap around because we mistakenly call it our identity, belonging, culture, religion, family, like, all these things. And I've got a guest coming up that I've interviewed about, like, good daughtering And, like, I think especially the women listening to this can understand, like, you're like, taking on this stuff. Like, I have family members who are like, oh, do you want grandmas this and great grandparents this? It's like, oh my god, this is so much. I don't why do I have to be responsible for carrying on the legacy of this pot, you know, like that and it's not even, that's not even the emotional stuff. It's like, just like, but a visual of what things things are. And she said, this bag is filled with things that aren't yours, and so you have no room for new stuff. And that is like, so powerful. Like, if you're struggling to try new things, do new things, find yourself it's like, you can't, because I can't buy new a new coat. With this closet so full, I gotta get rid of some stuff, which is, which is the reason we're laughing is because we're packing, like, as we're recording this, we're packing for Europe. And I was like, it's gonna be so cold, and I love coats, and I can only bring one coat, and, like, buy another coat. I'm like, I don't need another coat. I have great coats. I can only take one. So you ultimately have to understand why you keep repacking the same thing in order to finally get a chance to make any real choices. So I love this because, like, I feel like some people think that they're self-sabotaging, or they're in the same spiral. It's like, Yeah, but you kept packing the same stuff, expecting a new result, you know. Brad Crowell 20:05  Or you're carrying around old shit. Lesley Logan 20:06  Yes, but, and you just keep repacking the old shit, and that's why you don't get anything new. Like, we had Brad Bisjack on, and I'm pretty sure it was in his episode we talked about, like, to get to the next level, you have to have a new backpack of stuff, you know. So anyways, like, I think there's some physical and mental unpacking a lot of us have to do if we want to be it till we see it. Brad Crowell 20:27  That's episode 589, if you're wondering. Brad Bizjack, it was a fantastic episode. Lesley Logan 20:32  I've stopped guessing, it's beyond. Brad Crowell 20:34  Yeah, it's all right, we're at 674, not 47.Lesley Logan 20:37  I wish I could have kept going, guys, it would have been like this thing, if you've been a longtime listener that like, wow, she keeps doing it. But now new listeners, I used to be like, I used to just get them right. This one, that one.Brad Crowell 20:49  Well, I really loved when she was talking about the next step after the red shoes, where she was talking about making space for new things, like the unpacking part of it. She said, in order for you to okay, hold on, how much joy do you actually want? How much joy do you want in your life? Lesley Logan 21:08  Okay, you're asking me? Brad Crowell 21:09  I'm asking you, how much joy do you want?Lesley Logan 21:11  Like, all the joy.Brad Crowell 21:12  All the joy, all the joy. I want all the joy. Do you want all the joy? Of course, why would we not say I want joy. I want happiness in my life? She said, equal to the level of joy and fulfillment and peace that you want in your life, you have to be willing to go as deep internally.Lesley Logan 21:29  Oh, I see yes.Brad Crowell 21:31  So if you want massive amounts of joy, you have to be willing to go massively deep into yourself. Right? And so she was talking about unpacking and letting go. And she said, you know, when she discovered some of the things, she said letting go of those things, it wasn't like an overnight thing. And she said it was actually she had, she to go through a grieving process when she was letting go of some of the things because, you know, you've, you've embraced this worldview for your entire life. Or you were, like someone hurt, you know, you were hurt in some way by someone or something or whatever, and or something failed, and it really, you know, scarred you. You know, she said, during the process of unpacking, it actually created a lot of grief. And she said, but if you don't do it, that emotion will sneak up on you and it will come back and bite you in the ass when you don't want it to. Lesley Logan 22:25  Right. You have to do it anyways. You're gonna have to do it. You may as well do it in a time when you're in control of it. Brad Crowell 22:30  Yeah. I mean, it's, it's part of the process of making space for something new. And she said, if we feel trapped, how we get out of that is we release, we go deeper in and then, and then we can come out the other side. So, you know, you, if you're feeling stuck right now, it has to be looking internally, and that's gonna be how (inaudible). Lesley Logan 22:49  All the work. Like, I don't want to do a little bit of work, just have a little bit of joy. That seems like an annoying amount of effort. I'd rather do a lot of work to have a lot of joy. Like that feels like I'm in it to win on that. Brad Crowell 22:58  100% well stick around we'll be right back. Lesley Logan 23:00  I want to go off on a tangent. Brad Crowell 23:01  Just get it, go up on a tangent. Lesley Logan 23:02  Okay, so, today, the day we're recording this, Margaret Margarita Margareta Magnusson died. She got people excited about or aware of something called the Swedish death cleaning. And the Swedish death cleaning is that you, you, it's a Scandinavian decluttering method that is about removing unnecessary items before you die, so that you're not leaving your fucking red shoes for someone else to back around. And the idea is, like, it's it's not supposed to be like, morbid. It's actually supposed to be like, you invite people over. They take that, you tell them the story about the things and the things that nobody wants, and you can, like, let go of and someone can take, so that when you pass, one, all those things are gone. And two, like, in your living days, tell people how important that was, or what that thing meant, or where the history of that thing was, so they can have it. And then when you pass, they don't have to clean up your crap.Brad Crowell 23:56  Yeah, it's Döstädning. I love it. That's actually brilliant. And as long as you're not guilt-tripping people into taking your shit, don't do that.Lesley Logan 24:05  Right. You know what? We all know who those people are in our lives, and we don't have to go so. Brad Crowell 24:08  Yeah, it's called Döstädning, and it, you know, as it works, as long as you're not guilt tripping people into taking your shit. But there's a book about it. It's called The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning.Lesley Logan 24:18  Do you think if I send that to my mom, it would be considered passive aggressive or just aggressive?Brad Crowell 24:26  Well, I mean, wait, that she should be doing this? Lesley Logan 24:30  I think that I. Brad Crowell 24:31  Well, but that means that we have to go, like, everyone goes to the place and there's like a ceremony. Lesley Logan 24:36  Other people go, I've already, don't I already already took what I need, but she should do it for other people.Brad Crowell 24:41  Yeah, no. I mean, I think this is wise. I think this, this is more of a process of actually the telling of the story and the stuff gives things meaning. Right. And so my grandfather didn't quite do it this way, but he while he was alive, he let the kids my my parent, my dad. And his siblings go through everything and get rid of it. So by the time, you know, when he did pass away, eventually, you know, the cleanup of his estate was like, it was done immediately. Everything was already ready to go. So I saw that, and that was, like, really helpful. But not gonna lie, even with being diligent, it took my parents years, years, even being diligent, right? Lesley Logan 25:24  And I, he didn't do it. But I do feel like the things, some of the things we took, we got the history of it through the family members, but like, I just, this is just on the tangent of like, sharing, like, in the physical and emotional space, of like, what can we do for the people around us so that they don't feel this need to carry on? Because I do think some of the listeners, like, I have family members who, like, won't let go of stuff, because, like, that was my like, I feel I've even heard your friend go, that's great grandpa's stuff. And it's like, holy shit. We are going to need bigger homes, not just like, physically, but. Brad Crowell 25:54  Like, we're making our own museums.Lesley Logan 25:56  Mentally, because, like, you, you it's hard. It's just anyways, we all want to be better people want to have joy in sometimes we're don't. We don't have that because we got a bunch of other people's stuff in the way. That's all. Anyways, it's just another way of thinking about it.Brad Crowell 26:08  Wait one, one less way to be trapped. Yeah, because, because trapped now, now I'm see because trapped is two things. You can be trapped by keeping the stuff yourself. You can also be trapped if someone dies and leaves you a bunch of shit you got to deal with. So, right? You know, like, it's, it's definitely challenging so.Lesley Logan 26:25  And it's, and when they, and if they do those red shoes she's talking about, I'm just thinking about like, when people die suddenly, or they die and there's unanswered emotional like problems and stuff like, you then feel like you have to protect the red shoes. And so I just think that there's some things we could be doing as we be it until we see it, as we change our lives, become better than the people like we once were to get 1% better, whatever those things are. How can we be making it so that the people around us don't carry our fucking red shoes? I don't want anyone carrying I mean, you might like them, but I don't want anyone have it feel like they have to. Brad Crowell 26:54  All right. Well, stick around. We'll be right back. We're gonna dig into those Be It Action Items with Shari Teigman. Brad Crowell 27:01  Welcome back. All right, let's talk about the Be It Action Items that you have with your convo with Shari Teigman. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away? She said, when it comes to being trapped and going deeper and trying to figure that out, how do we do that? She said, however, you need to. Punch it out. Punch a pillow. Cry in a pillow, write it out, burn it out, whatever your ritual needs to be, dance it out. Bang it out. She explains that we have to tell the truth to ourselves. We cannot pretend that like only having the highlight reel and then that that's okay and it's gonna allow us to feel like a human, because otherwise it will still sneak up on you, right? If we don't allow emotion, the emotion will sneak up on you when you don't want it. And she said, emotion is just emotion. It's not good or bad. Lesley Logan 27:44  This goes back to Dr. Bender, like her second interview. She's like, we always are trying to figure out the reason why we feel an emotion. But she's like, just let it go by. Sometimes it's just emotion your body wants to feel. It has nothing to do with what you're thinking about right now. Brad Crowell 27:55  Yeah, she said she views this active emotional release as essential. Basically, she said, I'm going to grieve, because it's part of my process of making space for something new. So, yeah, I thought that was great. I mean, I think especially acknowledging that emotion is just emotion. It's not good or bad. Don't judge yourself, you know. I mean, don't maybe don't break a window. But, like, you know, if you have to be loud, be loud. It's okay. Lesley Logan 28:21  When I leave breath work for the Agency members, I'm like, you could laugh, you could cry, you could do you could want to, like, scream into a pillow. You could need to get up and dance. You can need to shake your hands like you don't need to figure out why you need to do that. Just do the thing because it doesn't like, it's just, we're we're trying to release what's inside you. We don't have to figure out why we need to release what's inside you. Just let it go. Okay. Brad Crowell 28:39  Yeah. What about you? Lesley Logan 28:40  So many good so many good things. But this is brilliant. She said, clean up the internal contradictions, which, by the way, as an ADHD person, this is like, I'm a walking internal contradiction. But if you don't understand, I like people, I want to be away from them. She's, she's like, you're, she said, if you're saying, you want to have a bigger life, but you keep making micro choices. You're lying to your nervous system, because you're answering the old version of yourself like you're not actually doing the work you're not doing the be it till you see it. This is basically what you're doing. So she said, the identity you want for the life you you want is going to require align actions to that. So what you want, you have to make align actions for that. It sounds common sensical, but look at the internal contradictions you're doing. What are you doing that's not necessarily aligned? So she advises to choose your actions intentionally instead of making excuses. And I think this is, you know, really important. I remember, like trying to figure out, like, an excuse for why I was late for things or not able to do stuff. And honestly, it's so much easier to go I just didn't do it. I screwed up, like, instead of I think it's a lot easier, and you can just move on and go from there. So I agree with that. And then she said, once you clean all this up, the questions you ask will become much more clear and much more honest, and then you'll get those like, answers that align with that. So she this is just such a good episode. You have to listen to the whole thing. So if you haven't, got to go listen to it, because we cannot do Shari Teigman the way Shari Teigman does Shari Teigman. You got to listen to her. And she does have a journal coming out, The Maverick Way: A Field Guide to Coming Undone on Purpose. And you can go follow her on Instagram. We have all that in there. Shari Teigman. So anyways, I love it. I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell 30:18  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 30:19  Hey, go listen to the episode. Share it with a girlfriend who needs to hear it. Share it with a friend who's carrying around someone else's red shoes. And maybe that becomes the thing like, sounds like you got some red shoes of somebody's, I don't know, share it with a friend, because this is how the podcast continues to grow. Gets even better guests. Brad Crowell 30:35  Even better. Lesley Logan 30:35  I'm so excited for where we're growing, and the people that we've been able to get on. The lineup that you've got coming up is some really fun, amazing things. So go, Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 30:44  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 30:45  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 31:27  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 31:32  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 31:37  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 31:44  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 31:47  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Brad Crowell 32:00  Hi, okey doke. Episode 647. Lesley Logan 32:06  Wait. Say that again. Brad Crowell 32:09  Episode 647 Lesley Logan 32:10  Say it one more time. Brad Crowell 32:12  Episode 647Lesley Logan 32:13  674 Brad Crowell 32:16  Episode 674 Lesley Logan 32:18  Whoa, dyslexic. Hey, keepsake. How about keepsake on that one. Lesley Logan 32:24  Episode 674, Shari Teigman. Lesley Logan 32:27  Just so we are all clear, because I need evidence and receipts. My husband, two days in a row has just that dyslexic marking these dates down.Brad Crowell 32:36  Any fucking way. Let's move on. All right. 674, Shari Teigman. Bayon, thank you. Please don't bark. Brad Crowell 32:45  Stan Kenton wrote, wrote something called the wow. My my middle school no high school jazz band. My high school jazz band actually played from start to finish, pausing. Welcome back.Lesley Logan 33:06  I'm here. Brad Crowell 33:07  Welcome back. Lesley Logan 33:08  So Walpurgis, night. Brad Crowell 33:10  Walpurgis. Lesley Logan 33:11  Walpurgis. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It is easy to get trapped in the "but I've always done it this way" cycle, but making an impact requires the courage to put a bow on things that no longer serve your bigger vision. In this last Fuck Yeah Friday episode of April, Lesley Logan dives into the power of ending programs with grace to make room for what's next. She celebrates incredible global wins, from conservation success stories to falling crime rates, while highlighting how to embrace being a badass at the boring-but-necessary tasks like bookkeeping.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Positive news and wins happening right now from around the world.The importance of cheering for peers who raise their rates.Navigating tax season and the victory of mastering QuickBooks reports.Reflection on the strategic decision to end the business retreat.Episode References/Links:Winning Mindset - https://beitpod.com/winningmindsetSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  It's Fuck Yeah Friday.Brad Crowell 0:01  Fuck yeah. Lesley Logan 0:02  Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:44  Hi, Be it babe, you made it to the end of April. You're here. You did it. Oh my god 1/3 of the year wrapped up. We're done, right? So I don't know if that's a win or like, oh my god. I don't know. I'm recording this in February. I'm unclear whether we were, like, wanting this year to get faster or slow down, you know, but hopefully you're enjoying that freedom horse. So I have inspirational posts, then a win of yours, then a win of mine, and a mantra for you. So if you're new to our Friday episodes. It's a short and quick, wonderful episode, and that scratching in the background is my dog literally not comfortable in his bed. Lesley Logan 1:30  Okay, good news from around the world that nobody talks about this is from Winning Mindset. So Australia can become the first nation in the world to eliminate cervical cancer. That's so fucking cool. That is amazing. Pandas are no longer considered at risk of extinction. This is one of the greatest success stories in wildlife conservation.Lesley Logan 1:52  It's amazing. Pandas are, you know what? They're like, (inaudible) to me, they're like, what's happening? Are these bears? What's going on? Portugal is preparing to open Europe's first large elephant sanctuary for elephants rescued from circuses and zoos. So that's interesting. I guess I would have thought that there was an elephant sanctuary already. But also, how many elephants are in Europe because I'm sure that they almost all been brought there. So way to go, Portugal. I love a true elephant sanctuary. The green turtle is no longer considered an endangered species, so that's crazy. Don't let people think that this means that there's no global warming, because there is. It just means that we're doing a better job saving species. The Netherlands are closing prisons that falling as falling crime rates reduce the number of inmates since 2009 more than 20 prisons have closed. That is amazing. I want that for us. I do. Well, I mean by us, I mean in the US, I know we have a lot of people listening all over the place. I have a lot of thoughts on prisons, and I know it's hard because there are some bad people out there, but also, like we're not recidivizing them very well, so we could be doing better. Norway has done the unthinkable, becoming the first country in the world to achieve near zero deforestation rates. I mean, my goodness, how cool is that? Freaking cool. Canada has passed a law that prohibits keeping large great apes and elephants in captivity. I love that. I mean, yes, I of course, I want people to see these animals, but also I want you to travel and see the world. You know, like, we got to a place where, like, the world's coming to us all the time, and I think we need to go see the world. I think that's what makes us more empathetic human beings. So I'm really excited about that. Go Canada. Some Dutch engineers created the world's largest vacuum cleaner, it's 600 meters long, which collects plastic from the oceans and helps restore marine life. I'm obsessed with that. So anyways, some good news, right? Lesley Logan 3:52  All right, so now it's for your win. This is from Amanda Barbee. She wrote, I think this is my favorite one so far, videographer we are learning together just increased her rates because she found her magic number six posts and I forgot how many reels, because I have been offline more, it's only $500 I only need to sell a new package a month. That's amazing. She has some more wins. But I love this. I love when women support women like sometimes when, like, we work with someone and we know our worth, and then sometimes they raise the rates on us, and we're like, right? But really, if our response is, yeah, like, of course, good job. Like, that's the best thing. I love it. When people in my life, services I use raise their rates, I go, fuck yeah, go, girl, get it, you know, like, and then sometimes things become out of my price point, and that's fine. I can still, I can still want to see them win, right? So she also said that she was able to talk to a quick book customer service rep for an hour yesterday, and got positive reinforcement that I am savvy with QuickBooks and with the interface so well, and that I'm a good business person because I've pulled through the same report three different ways to cross reference my blah, blah, blah, and I did it all myself. Thanks for thanks to the reps that they use, I've been able to do it this only one and a half hours without having bookkeeping fiascos. I mean, here's the deal I'm gonna tell you right now, if you are someone who had your taxes all done and this, Amanda said this to me in February, in February, no matter if you feel like you're a baller at QuickBooks or WooCommerce or whatever the tools you have to use, like you're kind of bad as you're very much winning. My team was like, we're just waiting on some things, but our taxes are basically done. We'll just file them in April, because that's when we file our personals. And I was like, oh, I mean, like, I feel like, what an amazing win, because no one wants to deal with that. So if you are dealing with the stuff no one wants to deal with, you are winning, right? Like, sometimes we're like, oh, I didn't do anything this week. All I did was my taxes. You know what? Something people avoid. So way to fucking go. That's a big way that I would put that in the big win category. Lesley Logan 5:50  All right. So now a win of mine. So we have this program that not many people know that we have, every other year do a business retreat for Pilates instructors, and we've done, I think this will be our we just wrapped our fifth one. Want to say it was our fifth. One might have been our fourth. I think it was our fifth. And about three months before it was about to happen, we also had these other ideas of some stuff that we're working on, and I'll share more with you as I can. But at any rate, something like one of my values is authenticity. Another value is transparency, another value is communication. Right? And a lot of people, whenever we have a program, they're like, oh, I can't do this. I'll do the next one. And I knew there's a lot of people saying they want to do a next, the next one. And I just wanted to be honest with people, you know, when I realized that like for us to continue to move forward on some of the things that we're working on, for us to have the impact that we want to make we can't do every single program we've ever done forever. We have to like something has to go. And as much as I love our business retreat that we do in the capacity that we do it, I know that we can't promise that we'll do one ever again. I guess it doesn't mean we'll never do one, but like in the capacity that we do it, the way that we currently host it. It just, it can't continue. And so I wanted, we made that announcement a few months ago, and we just wrapped that amazing last one, and it was such a celebration. I think sometimes when things are the last you like, there's almost like, it's easy for it to almost be like an ending, or like a funeral, you know, like, you're like, oh, like, I watched Suni Lee, like, doing her last floor thing, and the way she was giving herself a pep talk was like, it's yes, it's the last one, but it's a celebration of all the hard work. And so I just want to say, like, our my win is we recognized it was the last one before it was, before it happened, so that we could really, truly give everything we wanted to it. No regrets, no oh, I wish I'd done that before we ended it and I could put a bow on it like that's wrapped, that's a wrap. And I'm proud of the work we did, and I'm proud of the lives we changed, and I'm proud of the people that we coached in that capacity. And I don't know what's next for an idea like that or a program like that in this moment, I don't need to that's a win. That's a win. We can actually be proud of the work that we did and put a bow on it. And I think for my overachievers listening, that's really hard to do, like I always have done it, so I have to keep doing it, and the truth is we don't. So thank you to every single person around the world who came to that program. Thank you for being you. It was really such an honor to do that event. I don't take it lightly. The impact in the world has been incredible. The takeaways that we always hear are remarkable, and I can't wait to see what you do next, truly. Lesley Logan 8:32  All right, your mantra for the week. I have come farther than I would have ever thought possible, and I am learning along the way. I have come farther than I would ever have thought possible, and I'm learning along the way. Yes, you have and you are, you're amazing. You're being it till you see it. Have an amazing day. Lesley Logan 8:51  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 9:34  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 9:39  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 9:43  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 9:50  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 9:54  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What does it look like to truly radiate love and respect from the inside out? Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell break down the powerful conversation with Angie Hawkins, an "Inner Glow Coach" and author of Running in Slippers. A former high-achieving corporate professional who survived a suicide attempt, Angie's story is a profound roadmap for anyone chasing external validation at the expense of their soul. Lesley and Brad explore the political nature of beauty standards, the necessity of nervous system regulation, and why your self-love actually raises the world's vibration. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Understand the link between beauty standards and the loss of rights.Discover why inner glow starts with internal love and respect.Learn how radiant self-love combats global negativity and low vibrations.Explore the importance of enforcing boundaries to protect your energy.Master Angie's three-step process for a total personal life transformation.Episode References/Links:OPC Spring Training (Virtual Event) - opc.me/eventseLevate Mentorship Program - lesleylogan.co/elevatePilates Summer Tour - opc.me/tourThe Body Is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor - https://a.co/d/0jjAUZbzRunning in Slippers Book - https://www.runninginslippers.com/shopFree 60-Minute Find Your Glow Session - https://www.runninginslippers.com/coachingAngie Hawkin's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/angiehawkins808Mindi's Closet - https://www.mindiscloset.comMason Pearson - https://masonpearson.comHigherDOSE Dry Brush - https://beitpod.com/higherdoseaffiliateSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Brad Crowell 0:00  What she discovered was it was actually going internal that allowed her to see who she is and understand, you know, the value that she has, and began to change things, you know. So she said, it's about coming back home to who you actually are. Instead of trying to change all these things that are you're doing, or in your life, or all these external things, it's internal.Lesley Logan 0:24  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:06  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the liberating convo I have with Angie Hawkins in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause, because she's pretty cool. I think she's.Brad Crowell 1:19  She's cool. Also like really powerful story.Lesley Logan 1:21  Powerful story, and thoughtful and, like, talk about it, be it till you see it story, and she's helping people. And so, I mean, you got to listen to it. You definitely should listen to it.Brad Crowell 1:30  Yeah, it's, it's, if you're sensitive to talking about suicide, she didn't go into gory details. But, like, yeah, that was, that's part of her story. Lesley Logan 1:38  You can skip that part. Yeah. We talk about, I mean, you can skip that part. Brad Crowell 1:42  I think it also made it even that much more powerful, because it wasn't like she was a angst, angsty teenager. You know, she was in, she was, she had a corporate career, and, like, even moved, you know, to a beautiful place to live. And still, you know, was, was unfulfilled and unhappy, and now today, she seems like she has come a long way. In a much different place.Lesley Logan 2:05  Yeah, I agree. And I, you know, it's hard when it's hard when people kind of bring up that part of their story, because I am like, oh gosh, I have, like, inserted a hey, skip ahead 30 seconds. And also they're on the other side of it. So I do kind of feel like hearing the whole journey is important too. Like, I don't want to take that away from people, and so it's, it's hard to make the decision. But also I, and I want people to speak really about their life. And I just really like her, I like what she's doing. I like her book. Everything's good. So today is April 23rd 2026 and it's Love Your Thighs Day. Brad Crowell 2:37  That's right. Lesley Logan 2:38  Love thyself.Brad Crowell 2:39  Love thy thighs.Lesley Logan 2:40  Yeah, no. Love thigh thigh self. Love thigh self. Brad Crowell 2:43  Love thigh self. Lesley Logan 2:44  Yes. This day is celebrated on the fourth, yeah, this day is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of a of April every year, and this year, it falls on April 23rd. Women all over the world have a love hate relationship with their bodies. They're constantly encouraged to love their bodies in a society where beauty standards have been predefined and sometimes are unreachable. In fact, most fucking time, Love Your Thighs Day seeks to mitigate this and tell all women around the world that no matter what their bodies look like, they should love them because it's theirs to cherish. You know, it's really interesting this last year's award season, the women are getting a little too, like, on the too skinny side. And I hate saying that because I don't want to judge.Brad Crowell 3:28  The 90s, the 90s thing. Lesley Logan 3:29  Yeah. And it's just really hard because, like, we grew up with that, so that was just, like, the norm, and like, whatever ones are trying to be. And then we had this like, moment where we're like, oh my god, that's, like, so unhealthy. And like, there, here's all the information, and like you can't, like you can't, bigger doesn't mean unhealthy, and all these different things. And now we're seeing that again, and it's it's hard for me to watch because I've also been too skinny. And, you know, I get people who say shitty things to me because I they my old YouTube videos are up, and we don't take them down. And you know, I'm in a different body that I'm learning to love and the and I like, I think it's interesting, because people like, oh, you used to be skinnier, and it's like, yeah, I used to be younger, too. I used to, used to have a different metabolism. I used to live in LA, like, I used to, I used to not teach Pilates. Like, there's a lot of used to's. So it's just really kind of interesting. I think the other thing that's really interesting is whenever they're trying to take your rights away. We talked about this before in the podcast, whenever they're trying to take women's rights away. If you look at the trends of what women what beauty in women is, it's always the skinny body, because they want you starving so you're not fueled in your brain to realize they're taking your rights away. The trad wife situation and being super thin, all of that coincides with every time they try to take women's rights away. And so I would just say, like, there's a great book. It's called the body is not an apology. The Body Is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor, excellent listen-to on tape if you are not a reader. Beautiful book to read. She had a great interview with Brené Brown many, many years ago because somebody attributed Sonia's quotes to Brené Brown, and Brené Brown's like, that's not my quote. Who said that? Let's make sure we give it to that person. And then Brené Brown interviewed her, and the whole patriarchy would fall down if we all, as women, stopped buying into that there's a certain standard of beauty. All of it is all the smoke and mirrors that has us busy spending money and making sure we look a certain way so we appeal to people who supposedly have the keys of the kingdom that we're looking for. And so you can start by just loving your own thighs. Show them off. Brad Crowell 5:34  I dig it. Lesley Logan 5:34  You know, we first moved to Vegas, I had to start filming in shorts, and I hated it because I could see my cellulite. And I was like, oh, I really hate that. And then one of our members was like, thanks for showing what real legs look like. And I was like, oh, that's a compliment. Okay, but, but, but also then I was like, fuck it. That made her feel good. And so now I'm going to wear shorts. It was a be it till I see it into loving myself in shorts. And now I just wear these short shorts, and my thighs are bigger than you think. And you know what it actually, I don't care. And I love (inaudible). I really do. They're great legs. So I think you have to kind of be it till you see it in some of these things, and you give permission for other people too, as well. So. Brad Crowell 6:12  You got this. Lesley Logan 6:13  Go, love your thighs. Thick thighs save lives. I don't know what business sells that shirt, but there's a business that sells a shirt that says, thick thighs save lives. And I highly recommend supporting that.Brad Crowell 6:23  It's like a whole meme.Lesley Logan 6:24  Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I got a sweatshirt from them, and I got tshirt from them, and it's, it's got the love thigh self and thick thighs save lives, yeah, yeah. So you can find one, I'm sure. Someone will make you one. You know what? Mindi on OPC will probably make you one with Mindi's Closet. So there you go. Lesley Logan 6:41  All right, spring training is around the corner, literally around the corner. We're gonna get those big thighs up over that head of yours. Believe it or not, it is possible. It is true and or we're gonna help you find out what exercises you are going to work on to get there. If you go to opc.me/events you can grab your ticket. If you're an OPC member, check your email. We send you instructions on how to sign up for free. If you're not OPC member, it's a nominal fee. Show up. It's fun. It's good time. eLevate, my mentorship program for comprehensively trained teachers, is almost full, if it's not already filled, but there might be a spot left. You just go to lesleylogan.co/elevate, and see if it's what you're looking for, and get on a call with Brad chat about what it is I just I had the best let me, can I? I'm gonna read a win from today's eLevate. I'm gonna keep their names private. But let me just tell you, this was so freaking sweet. Hold on.Brad Crowell 7:32  While you're while you're pulling that up. Summer tour is coming soon, so in August, we're gonna be hitting the road, and you can get information about that also when you're on the opc.me/events waitlist. But if you go to opc.me/tour tickets may be open really soon, like in the next week or three, so stay tuned for that, opc.me/tour. So tell me about eLevate.Lesley Logan 7:57  So one of the members this year said, I'd like to thank Lesley for pairing me with her partner, we just get each other. And while I feel like we're the odd couple, she's really neat in her practice, while I'm really messy and still trying to find my longest spine shapes, she's so patient with me. I also feel that her classical background complements my contemporary we definitely have our sessions feeling so much more accomplished, and the props are serious game changer. How fun is that? How sweet. Brad Crowell 8:21  I love it. I think it's amazing. Lesley Logan 8:22  I know. So you know you that could be you. You could be, like, having fun with another person this industry, like learning together. And it's just, it's beautiful. Brad Crowell 8:29  We have had many a an un-sought-out best friend matching. Yeah, we are connecting people who are going to work together for nine months, and then a lot of them stay connected afterwards. And we're we love that. We think that's amazing.Lesley Logan 8:42  They still work out together. And also in the alumni group, they're. Brad Crowell 8:46  I just talked to someone in from group one, who still talks to her partner often, yeah, like all the time.Lesley Logan 8:52  In three times a week now, there are eLevate grads from all the different rounds that work out together. There are three different ongoing weekly sessions that happen. Brad Crowell 9:01  I love that. Lesley Logan 9:02  Oh yeah. Every Wednesday, at 8am there are people in the UK, Florida, Colorado and California who work out together. Brad Crowell 9:07  Come on. Lesley Logan 9:08  On Sunday mornings, there's another group of people, oh yeah. And then then there's one. I don't know what the time the third group is I haven't really seen it yet, but I say that it's consistent. It's so much fun. It's great. Brad Crowell 9:17  That's awesome. Lesley Logan 9:18  Yeah. And also, the one of the groups has decided to watch their replays along the same weekend time as the current group is going through it. So. Brad Crowell 9:28  Wow. That's a commitment. Lesley Logan 9:29  They're watching their, they're watching their mat replays during the mat now that we'll just wrap the reformer there on the reformer section right now. It's hilarious. Brad Crowell 9:37  I think it's great. Lesley Logan 9:37  I love it.Brad Crowell 9:38  Amazing. Good for them. Lesley Logan 9:40  Like you never stop learning. So, anyways.Brad Crowell 9:42  All right, well, before we get into this amazing interview, we had a question, Ebbflowpilates on Instagram asks, hi, can you tell me more about the brush that you're using? Do you have a link?Lesley Logan 9:54  Oh, the brush for my mat to clean it?Brad Crowell 9:57  Oh, that's for your mat? Lesley Logan 9:59  Yeah. Brad Crowell 9:59  I thought it was like a face, face brush, which is why I included it here when we're loving our thighs.Lesley Logan 10:03  Oh, okay, well, I will give you all the brushes that I use, okay, so, but I remember seeing this question on the mat cleaning video that we have a YouTube video on, like how to clean your equipment. We have a live and a long form. So honestly, I use a baby's toothbrush. One that's very soft, bristle baby's toothbrush. That's the type of brush that I use for cleaning my equipment. For brushing my eyebrows, I use a spoolie, that's what they're called, and I use that spoolie to dye them. That's what I do. That's how they look this good. I dye them myself, because who has the time for another appointment? For my hair. I love the Mason Pearson, but, Heather, one of our Be It babes, bought me a another kind of brush that I can use in the shower. And it's a little. Brad Crowell 10:54  It's like a detangler. Lesley Logan 10:55  The detangler, and I'm it's the one with the handle. Apparently, it's very famous for not having a handle, but I have too thick of hair for that. Brad Crowell 11:02  Oh, right. Lesley Logan 11:02  So I like that one that she got me for in the shower, and also, I'll take it on travel, because I'm not worried about losing a very expensive British brush.Brad Crowell 11:11  Yeah. What's the British brush called? Lesley Logan 11:15  Mason Pearson? Mason Pearson. And that's what I think. It's beautiful. It's like, oh my god, it's like a mid century blue.Brad Crowell 11:23  Yeah, Mason Pearson hairbrush.Lesley Logan 11:25  Okay, let me tell you how the best way to get that brush in the States, my friends. Go to the U.K. and buy or, if you know a Brit who's flying in, have them pack it, because it was, it's so affordable, until you put the shipping on it, and then you immediately makes you order from the U.S., it's double the price. Brad Crowell 11:44  Is it affordable though? It's not a cheap brush. Lesley Logan 11:46  No, but it works. My hair looks amazing. I mean, if you're watching the YouTube video right now, you're like, Lesley, is it? We're three days out from a hair dye, so leave it alone. But yes, my hair is growing. I have very little breakage. I didn't even have a haircut for a year because, like, I've had no breakage. So those are the brushes I use. I'm trying to think, if there's another kind of brush, oh, I like a dry brush. HigherDOSE has a great dry brush. It's got copper in it.Brad Crowell 12:06  You got the pure boar or the boar and nylon? You have the mix. Lesley Logan 12:11  I have the mix because my, for the Mason Pearson, yeah, I have boar bristle which is really great for getting the oil, because I don't like to wash my hair every day. So it pulls the oil out of the roots and into the tips. It makes my hair nice and shiny and healthy and all that kind of stuff. But it depends. They'll have a little information on their site for Mason Pearson, like, what type of brush you get, because there's a full boar, there's a full like, silicone or whatever, and then there's mix. But I have, I have hair that needs mix.Brad Crowell 12:34  Yeah, there's, there's boar, nylon or.Lesley Logan 12:37  Here's why I really like it. It's doesn't have little balls at the end. So when you're taking the tangles out, it's not ripping them or pulling the tangle into a tighter not. I, you know, I have Type 2A hair. So if you have Type 2A wave hair, you know what that means?Brad Crowell 12:55  There's a there's a there's a rating system for hair?Lesley Logan 12:57  Yes, yes, Type 2A wave means your hair tangles. That's what it means. It means that the waves don't make any sense, and so when my hair is down, it just becomes a rat's nest within two hours. Don't even give me a scarf with my hair down or coat. That is a disaster. I try to do like a I like a low bun. Why do I like a low bun? Because a low pony is just a recipe for a tangle that is just in a ponytail. So I have to, even if I like my make my hair wavy and do the wave into it. Great. Now it's just gonna be a dread, like just dreads of wave knots. So. Brad Crowell 13:33  Party on. Well, anyway. Baby toothbrushes for the mat. Lesley Logan 13:38  Yes, for your Pilates equipment use that. All right. Brad Crowell 13:43  All right. Well, if you have a question, text us at 310-905-5534, or send it in to beitpod.com/questions.Lesley Logan 13:51  I'm clearly a wealth of knowledge. I can give you the names of every brush.Brad Crowell 13:57  beitpod.com/questions leave us a win or a question. Stick around. We'll be right back. We're going to talk about Angie Hawkins. Brad Crowell 14:04  Welcome back. Let's talk about Angie Hawkins. Angie is an "Inner Glow Coach" and the author of the raw memoir Running in Slippers, which I thought was a great title. She explains that on the episode. So if you're interested in understanding that, go back and listen to the interview.Lesley Logan 14:21  Because they're not the slippers you think.Brad Crowell 14:23  They certainly are not. She's a former corporate professional with over 20 years of experience. Angie spent decades as a high achieving people-pleaser who chased external validation until a move from Chicago to Hawaii revealed that she could not outrun her internal struggles after surviving a suicide attempt and navigating a profound rock bottom during the pandemic, she left the corporate world to help other women stop seeking approval outside of themselves and instead cultivate a deep sense of love, safety and confidence from within. Incredibly powerful story. Lesley Logan 14:55  Really, enjoy her. I really, really did I, when we were doing the conversation was like, oh my gosh, how many other places can I help you be heard? Because, like, you're just doing great work. One of the things I love that she said, Is your inner glow is radiating in your own love and respect so much that it's actually radiating to people outside of you. So like, when you really get that inner glow on, like, it's kind of like, it's like when people talk about you and you're not in the room, but it's all good. You know what I mean? Like, they like, they think about you, and they just start, oh, have you heard of this person? Like, because, like, your inner glow is so out there. People can't help but, like, pick up on it and, like, radiate it out as well. Brad Crowell 15:32  Well, she's also talking about, like, the people around her saying, oh, you're glowing. And she said she didn't think like that it was anything particularly external that they were seeing, they were attracting. She was, you know, because her, her mindset was shifting so much it, you know, everyone was picking up on it, and that's when they were saying, you're glowing.Lesley Logan 15:58  I know it's weird. This is how Angie and I are very different. She was glowing from the inside out and radiating out people are like you're glowing oh my skincare line is so good. But like, but she you when, if you watch her, you'll see like, she's just got such joy around her, and she's so connected to the work that she does and how it helped her so that she's helping others. And she emphasized that energy doesn't just stop at the individual. Energy extends outward, inspiring others and potentially raising the vibration of the entire universe. And you know, I'm into that, because I believe that if you do Pilates, you connect yourself. You're more connected to yourself. You're not an asshole, if you're not an asshole, then other people aren't gonna be met with an asshole. Brad Crowell 16:36  It's one less asshole in the world. Do Pilates. Lesley Logan 16:38  And that's gonna change the vibration. Yeah. I'm in, I'm in.Brad Crowell 16:41  More Pilates, less assholes.Lesley Logan 16:42  Yeah. So she argued that you're either contributing to the world's negative vibration or you're raising it. And I agree. You're, I don't think that there's like a middle ground. You're either contributing or you're raising it. And I do, she also said that radiant self-love is a way to combat the chaos and negativity happening in the world right now. You guys while we're recording this, there's a fucking ton of shit going on, impossible to describe. It's like, when people ask, How am I doing? I have to go.Brad Crowell 17:09  Compartmentalize first, then answer. Lesley Logan 17:12  Yeah. Like, well, if we take what's going on in the world out, I'm doing great. I'm doing amazing. If you're gonna add that back in? I don't even know how to answer that question, but, like, but I do think that, like, it is something we can do with that bubble of influence that we can have, you know? Brad Crowell 17:30  Yeah, absolutely. All right. So when she was talking about that, there's a light inside of us that, you know, I found that really interesting, like resonating to me. And I think, like, part of it is, also, I have a couple thoughts, it's kind of like charisma, right? We don't realize, realize the risk, yeah, it's risk. We don't realize how impactful it is or or can be, and when we are, when we are not putting ourselves first, or we are seeking perfectionism, like even if it's subconsciously or people pleasing, we're dimming our own light. And for her, she said she told us the story about when she almost died, she was with her friend, and she said to her friend, I can't believe I'm not dead. And her friend's response was, it's not your time to go, right? And she said there was something in that moment that, like, really snapped her out of everything that she'd been doing for decades. And she, shortly thereafter, you know, started making dramatic life changes and leaving her job and things like that. And she, she she said that, you know, I think when people started to see the shift in her, the glow, they were talking about, you know, because she said, we are born with the light inside of us, but we just, we let it get dimmed.Lesley Logan 18:53  It does. It gets dimmed because of, like, things her parents say, they're, they're, they mean well, but like, you know, you talk too much, or you're just, you take too much attention, like your you know, like you be quiet, and then, like, those are, like, all appropriate things, but like, you start to internalize them, depending on who you are. And then a teacher tells you, like, oh, that was so stupid, but you took it as I'm stupid. And then, like, a boss is all of a sudden, it's like layers upon layers of these things that you internalize, and your light just gets dimmer and dimmer. Because some unless you have people around you to turn it back up, you know, or you do, you got to turn it back up. So I agree, and it just gets hard.Brad Crowell 19:30  Yeah, I think ultimately, her argument was that a lot of the self-help stuff, she really said she did a lot of it, like trying to, yeah, like, figure things out. This is, like, before the move. She's, you know, she said she did a lot of that stuff in her 30s, and basically, she said it's almost always an external change that they're recommending. And she, what she discovered was it was actually going internal that allowed her to see who she is and understand, you know, the value that she has, and began to change things, you know? So she said, it's about coming back home to who you actually are. Instead of trying to change all these things that are you're doing, or in your life, or all these external things, it's internal, you know?Lesley Logan 20:16  Yeah, no, it is. I mean, like, going back to, like, love thigh self, right? Like, your external body is going to change. And yes, there's arguments of, like, I just want to be attracted to the person when I'm younger. That's a different story, but you're the actual outside of you is going to change. So if all you're ever working on is the outside stuff, you're missing out, like the inside is, like, ideally, just gets brighter and more profound and more knowledgeable and more connected and more in tuned. You know, we have a series coming up about listening to your inner voice, your intuition, and one of the things you can't have intuition is if you don't have experience. So that's why, when you're younger, you don't have the intuition that you have when you're older, because you don't have life experiences around certain things. And I think that like as we get older, like, that's one thing we have that we didn't have we were younger. It's like this sense of experience of what's real. I like that she emphasizes, like, going inward and getting to know that.Brad Crowell 21:10  Yeah, it's just fascinating to listen to her, and also a little bit shocking, because I didn't see that part of her story in who she is today, you know? And so it was really interesting, because it kind of took me by surprise, but also, wow, how much has she learned from that experience? So stick around. We'll be right back. We're going to talk about those really powerful Be It Action Items that we had with Angie Hawkins. Brad Crowell 21:38  All right, y'all welcome back. We're going to dig into these Be It Action Items we have with Angie. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from that convo? And she said strong boundaries is like one of the most important things. It's huge. And she said the hard part is not setting the boundaries. The hard part is enforcing the boundaries right so you can make all the boundaries you want up in your head. If you blow past them, it doesn't matter, right? And she said, there's also people who will intentionally try to walk over the boundaries that you're setting, and, you know, and, and they'll just try to, like, there's something weird about it. Like people like to break the rules and press, you know, they like to press their luck, all those kinds of things. And for her today, her boundaries are usually mostly, well, what you discussed was mostly around her work. She's like, yeah, I just don't coach people on the weekends. And she said that when people will ask, she'll just tell them, oh, sorry, yeah, I don't coach on the weekends. And she said, if they really press me on that, they're probably not the person that I actually want as a client, because they're not just gonna push that boundary. They're gonna break everything, or do none of the work that I'm working on them with, like, all those kinds of things. And she's like, yeah, so. Lesley Logan 22:52  We're just talking about this with our friend Michael, who like, also, like coaches people and, like, some of the things that people, like, expect of things and like, they just push and push. And you're like, okay, I'll do this. Okay, I'll make this what's just what this one time? And it's like, actually, it's not like, I remember when I first started teaching Pilates, people thought I was crazy because I wouldn't offer a discount to people who pay in cash. And I'm like, so what happens when one time, they're like, oh, I don't have cash. Can I just pay for a check today? And then they're like, oh, it's the same price, right? Because this is one time, yeah, it's like, it's never, just one fucking time, never, never. It's like, let me just see what I can get away with. And, you know, I'm not saying they're all trying to be nefarious. I don't think it's a conscious thing. I think it's like, sometimes subconscious. Brad Crowell 23:32  Yeah, you know, you just have to be able to say, no, sorry.Lesley Logan 23:36  Also, if you don't know if that person's pressing you, you can also say, can I get back to you? And then that way you can take a moment to see, is this some, is this a boundary that they're crossing?Brad Crowell 23:46  Honestly, that was one of the best ways to get out of a tough situation is like, can I, can I think about that and get back to you? And to just say that, because it gives you space where you don't feel pressured to make a decision in the moment that you will you know might regret later, and it allows you the space to, you know, actually, like, like, mull it over and decide, what do I actually want to do? And then obviously, you still have to go back to him and respond, but it takes away that in the moment pressure, you know, yeah. What about you?Lesley Logan 24:17  Okay. This is great. Get ready. Write this down. Three-step process for personal transformation. This is Angie Hawkins, three-step process for personal transformation.Brad Crowell 24:25  I love this, by the way.Lesley Logan 24:26  Decide any meaningful change in your life comes from a decision.Brad Crowell 24:30  Yeah, decide you have to do it. Have to decide.Lesley Logan 24:33  Without total commitment, the wishy washy energy leads to quitting the second it gets hard. 100%. Decide, you can't make a wrong decision. It's gonna get you to where you're gonna go. You're gonna learn something. Take action. It's all about feeling the fear and doing it anyway, which is also in conjunction with part three. But hello, if you listen to this podcast, you know that action brings clarity, it's the same. And then part three, nervous system regulation. Before you take action, prime your nervous system. You can do that by sitting up straight. Breathing. And she also suggested the goddess walk is walking into a space with ownership, regardless of internal anxiety. Brad Crowell 25:07  I have arrived. Lesley Logan 25:08  Exactly, exactly. I really, I think that if I think that it's.Brad Crowell 25:12  They're very practical. You know, it's great. Lesley Logan 25:14  Anyone could do this. Decide, take action, regulate your nervous system. Yeah, walk like the goddess that you fucking are. Brad Crowell 25:22  Yeah, today I had to get up really early for a doctor's appointment, and last night, I decided I will wake up at, you know, this time so that I can make it on time to the thing. And you know, my alarm was accidentally soft. Don't know why it was soft, but somehow I heard it and I woke up. Lesley Logan 25:42  Well, it's good you made that decision. Oh, thank god because you didn't text me. And so when you came into the yoga you're like, bye, and I'm like, he got himself up, okay. Brad Crowell 25:50  Up and out. Lesley Logan 25:51  All right. He's, he's on it. He's doing it.Brad Crowell 25:54  Something amazing about making a decision.Lesley Logan 25:56  Well, I couldn't agree more. Go check out Angie Hawkins, I think she's wonderful. I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell 26:01  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 26:02  Thank you so much for listening to us today. We're really grateful for you. We're so excited for what you're being it till you see it. We hope these guests have been helping you, and we want you to send in your questions, your wins, all that kind of stuff to beitpod.com/questions. Send this to a friend who needs to hear it, like truly, I think Angie's story can resonate with so many different women right now, and I think it's really important, so please, please spread the word about her and until next time, Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 26:25  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 26:26  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 27:09  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 27:14  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 27:18  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 27:25  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 27:28  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Brad Crowell 27:44  Okay, welcome back. This is episode 671, Angie Hawkins recap. Take it away.Lesley Logan 27:52  I feel like a blowfish, feel like a blowfish.Brad Crowell 28:05  Welcome back. Just kidding, we're not doing that. All right, y'all welcome back. Okay, all right, so what I really loved was what she's talking about, being. Lesley Logan 28:22  Sorry.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this raw and honest episode, Inner Glow Coach Angie Hawkins joins the pod to share why changing your environment won't fix what's going on inside, and how to love yourself without chasing approval. After moving 4,000 miles to Hawaii and realizing her struggles followed her, Angie hit a rock bottom moment that led to an intentional overdose, and a life-changing wake-up call. She shares how she rebuilt from that place by setting healthy boundaries, questioning old beliefs, and finally choosing herself.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Understand why life is like running in slippers.Why you cannot outrun your internal problems.How healing requires making a firm commitment.How to love yourself by creating your own life rulesHow to set and enforce healthy boundaries with others.Episode References/Links:Running in Slippers - https://www.runninginslippers.comRunning in Slippers Book - https://www.runninginslippers.com/shopFree 60-Minute Find Your Glow Session - https://www.runninginslippers.com/coachingAngie Hawkin's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/angiehawkins808Guest Bio:Angie Hawkins is an Inner Glow Coach who transforms high-achieving, spiritual women from chasing love and approval to radiating fierce confidence so they can finally feel happy, free, and loved for who they are. She works with women who've done therapy, read the books, tried the spiritual path, but still feel like something's missing. Through deep inner work and identity transformation, she helps them break the cycle of not feeling “enough,” so they can experience real love, confidence, and peace without having to change who they are. She is the author of Running in Slippers, a raw and vulnerable memoir about finding resilience after emotional rock bottom. Angie has moved from Chicago to Hawaii on her own, jumped out of a helicopter and into the ocean Navy SEAL-style, bungee jumped, skydived, and cliff jumped, yet is still terrified about allowing herself to be seen. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Angie Hawkins 0:00  I was released from the hospital, and I called a friend, I told her everything that happened, and I ended with, I can't believe I didn't die. And her response was, it's not your time. And it was so profound that it sent a cold chill through my body.Lesley Logan 0:16  I have chills right in this moment. Angie Hawkins 0:18  Yeah, and I in that moment, I was like, okay, I think I have a purpose. And I was determined to figure out what it was.Lesley Logan 0:28  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 1:11  All right, Be It babe. When I met this woman, I knew I had to have her on because she she had, in her story you're gonna hear so much of you, and then you're going to hear her transformation, and it's what a lot of you are trying to be it till you see. I will say, in her journey, we do have, we do discuss a suicide attempt. If that is something that's going to activate you today, please honor yourself. It isn't, doesn't go into detail, but it's, it's a part of her journey. And I do think it is worthy to hear the whole journey of how she got to where she is, how she becomes the inner glow coach that she is, and also like how you can have inner glow in your life, and how that changes things. And she's just so authentic and so cool. And I'm really jazzed for you to hear this. So here's Angie Hawkins. Lesley Logan 1:57  Hey, Be It babe. I'm really excited and ready for this conversation. Our guest today is Angie Hawkins, and I think you're gonna hear a lot of similarities in her story and her journey and what she's working on. If you have ever felt like you've done all the things and it's still not working, today's episode is for you. So Angie Hawkins, can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at?Angie Hawkins 2:19  Yes. Hi everyone. Thank you for having me, Lesley. I am an inner glow coach, and what that means is I help high achieving women stop chasing love and approval and everything outside of themselves, and actually radiate it from within, so they can finally feel happy, free and loved for who they are. And I am also the author of Running in Slippers, which is a raw and vulnerable memoir, that the whole point of the book, because it's very vulnerable, is to encourage connection through vulnerability, because that's how we truly connect as human beings. Lesley Logan 2:49  I couldn't agree more. Also, if you're not watching this beautiful woman on our YouTube channel, are those fresh flowers in your hair? Where are you living right now that you get to have those beautiful flowers in your hair?Angie Hawkins 3:01  I live in Hawaii, so yes, I have fresh flowers in my earrings.Lesley Logan 3:05  Oh, my god, stop. Well, okay, so Running in Slippers, like, most like, I feel like there's a book like, Running in Heels, which already sounds terrible, Running in Slippers isn't easy to do either. Can we go into like, can we get vulnerable a little bit and talk about, like, how did that title come about? Like, what? What is the journey that you had to go on? Because I do think, by the way, if you're listening, we all get to go on a journey like that is the beautiful thing about this life. And sometimes I think we feel like, why is this happening to me? But there's something we get to learn from that. So can you, can we hear yours?Angie Hawkins 3:36  Yes, I love that. And first of all, I before I get into my whole story, which, honestly, the book Running in Slippers gets into all the details, because what I'm going to give you is just the high level cliff notes version. But I live in Hawaii, and we call flip flops, slippers, so it really means running in flip flops.Lesley Logan 3:52  Even harder, even more dangerous.Angie Hawkins 3:55  So, but the reason I titled the book that way is because it's a metaphor for life, because life, it can be fun, playful and adventurous, but it can also be difficult, painful and scary, just like running in flip flops. Lesley Logan 4:07  Yeah, oh, that's so funny. Can you tell I'm totally not an island girl and I do call them slippers. And they can be, like, very childlike, like, you're running on the beach, like, it's really cool, and then you all of a sudden are running on a slippery sidewalk. And, yeah. Angie Hawkins 4:21  Exactly. So, yeah. I think once people understand what it means, it's relatable. And if you do read the book, or anyone listening, if you do read the book, I explained that immediately in the introduction, so that people don't think I'm actually running in house slippers or like that just ruins the whole meeting. I think.Lesley Logan 4:39  I mean, well, you know what? Actually like I was picturing, like you going through something, just like being a girl in her house shoes like running, chasing a dream down.Angie Hawkins 4:48  I think there's so many metaphors, yeah.Lesley Logan 4:51  Awesome. Well, let's get into the Cliff Notes. I love it. Angie Hawkins 4:55  Yes. So basically, like most people, my origin story starts in childhood. And I was raised in a household where the most succinct way to say it is that my both of my parents were extremely emotionally unavailable. And as an adult, I understand what that means, and I have the tools to process that and understand it. But as a little girl, I didn't have those tools, and the way I interpreted the situation is that I thought that I didn't deserve to be loved. So very early, early on in life, I developed this belief. And as most of us are aware, your beliefs dictate your behaviors, and then that dictates what you attract into your life. So needless to say I struggled for many years because I was a people pleaser. I was the one who was chasing love and approval outside of myself. I was the overachiever, because I thought to earn the love and respect and approval, I had to have a high position at work, or I ran marathons for a while, and that became my identity, like I had to get a good time. I was reaching for everything outside of myself, yet I still felt extremely unhappy and unfulfilled, and I was at a point in life where I honestly didn't even think that was available to me. I thought this is just how life was. I didn't think I was worthy of it. I thought it was just something that other people had. So if I was viewing someone else who was happy and fulfilled in their life, it just didn't even seem attainable for me. So even though I was very unhappy, I just kind of went along life, not really knowing what to do about it, like I would read self help books or, you know, do something like go to yoga, or have, like a spiritual practice or something, and that would provide short term a short term fix, but I didn't really have anything implemented for a long term change. And the first real turning point came in 2017, my boyfriend broke up with me, and then my dad passed away, and I was 37 years old, and I had spent 37 years avoiding my feelings, doing everything I could not to feel them, but I was in such profound grief that it was impossible not to feel my feelings, yet I didn't have the tools for emotional regulation. So the best way to say it was I felt like shit for most of that year because I was just sitting in these feelings that I didn't know what to do with. And 2018 came around, and I was probably like, in this New Year's resolution energy, and I decided that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. And I decided, like, I wanted to make some changes, and I wanted to be happy. I was living in Chicago at the time, and that's when I decided I wanted to move from Chicago to Hawaii.Lesley Logan 7:49  Major differences. Huge differences. Angie Hawkins 7:52  Yes and I will say it was well intentioned, because I was actually taking agency over my life. I was doing something to make a change and be happier. It was not well intentioned, and that I was still reaching for something outside of myself to be the thing that made me feel better, because I wanted the change in location to be the thing that made me happy. And this will probably not come as a surprise, you cannot move away from your problems, so I moved 4000 miles away, and I still had the exact same issues. Not only that, I developed a whole new roster of problems. So, for example, in 2018 remote work was not the trendy thing to do, but I was very fortunate, because my job allowed me to move and keep my job. But at the exact same time that I moved there was this huge management shake up at work that threatened my role, and because I was in this victim mentality of like this is all that's available to me and like this happening to me. I for the first year that I lived here, I lived in constant fear of losing my job. I had a really hard time making friends when I first moved here, which was something I had never dealt with before. So struggling with making friends, being thousands of miles away from anyone I knew, felt extremely isolating. Lesley Logan 9:10  Yeah, and you're in an island, so it's already isolated.Angie Hawkins 9:13  Exactly, exactly. So it's like I didn't have, you know, I just felt really lonely, basically. And the last major thing that happened when I moved here is like to prove how all in and committed I was to my decision. I bought a condo, but then a month after my condo closed, a shared pipe backflowed into my bathroom and I wasn't home, so my entire condo flooded. Yes. So this is all this is all right off the bat. So again, I'm expecting the change to be the thing that makes me feel better, and everything was falling apart. Lesley Logan 9:46  And you're literally doing everything it says I got to go all in, got to burn the boat. You got to buy that condo without the pike being checked. Oh my god, and you haven't even hit Covid yet, shit. Angie Hawkins 9:58  Well, that brings me to Covid because, so that was 2018 right? So, and I'm trying to be like I was totally emotionally bypassing my feelings. I'm like, It's fine, I got this, but I'm not even exaggerating when I say the next two years it was like thing after thing, like my grandma died, like there was always something, and because I didn't have that emotional foundation within myself, because everything outside of me was unraveling. I was unraveling, and then Covid happened. So I don't even have to explain how that exacerbated the situation, just, but the straw, the straw that broke the camel's back was the end of a relationship during Covid. And I just had this moment where, and I think we all have this. I still have these moments where it's like I can't take this anymore, but unfortunately, layered on top of that feeling was the sheer feeling of hopelessness, because nothing had been going well, and I truly could not see any hope for the future, and that is such a dangerous place to be, so I intentionally overdosed on my anxiety medication, and I spent a day and a half unconscious in my bathroom. I spent another day and a half in the hospital.Lesley Logan 11:09  Wait, no one knew you were in your bathroom?Angie Hawkins 11:12  No, I miraculously, I was blacked out. I miraculously texted a friend and she took me to the hospital. That's the only way I was transported. Lesley Logan 11:22  Oh my god. What a story. Oh my god. Oh my god. You're like, this is crazy.Angie Hawkins 11:28  And then where I'll end is I was released from the hospital, and I called a friend, I told her everything that happened, and I ended with, I can't believe I didn't die. And her response was, it's not your time. And it was so profound that it sent a cold chill through my body. Lesley Logan 11:48  I have chills right in this moment. Angie Hawkins 11:49  Yeah and I in that moment, I was like, okay, I think I have a purpose. And I was determined to figure out what it was.Lesley Logan 12:00  Oh my gosh. I just want to say thank you for sharing your story. I'm so glad there was something in you that texted a friend, and I'm also glad that that friend wasn't on, like, Do Not Disturb like, I oh my god. I'm that friend. I'm the Do Not Disturb friend. I this. I would.Angie Hawkins 12:14  My phone's always on silent.Lesley Logan 12:17  I gotta figure this out. There's gotta be a bypass for people. But like, I It's so clear, not only is it not your time, but there was a part of you that was always trying to figure this out. I think in hearing your story like, there was this part of you that's like, I am, there is more for me out there, but like you so there's and I think we all have this. I think so many of my listeners who are here like they know there is more, and yet, when they try to do the more something happens. There's always a thing that happens, like, they make more money, and then a huge bill happens. They break up with the toxic relationship, and then this thing happens, and now they're alone. Like, I you know, there's a whole thing. It's like everything is in balance. Like, you get a good thing and you need a bad thing. But like, also sometimes we're just not ready. If you don't have the muscle for that, then it just feels like you're getting beat while you're down. Angie Hawkins 13:07  Exactly. And I think we're saying the same thing, but I look at it as, for example, in my situation, my brain and my heart felt like they didn't want to be here, but my soul, or higher self, or whatever you want to call it, really did. So I think there's always this part of us, and we're all connected to our intuition or higher self, whether we're like, in tune to it or not, but there's always that part of us that's calling us to this higher purpose or something else, but then we have to deal with the realities of the real world. Lesley Logan 13:38  Yeah. So you wake up in this hospital and you now, like, it's not your time, but like, you have to then get out of the hospital and and figure so how do you, how do you do that? Like, where do you start? Because, like, there's a million books, there's a million courses, there's 17 million charlatans, you could end up in a cult real easily, you know. So how did you, how did you figure it out?Angie Hawkins 14:01  Well, I don't know if this is lucky or unlucky, but because at the time this happened, I was 40 years old, and I had spent out of my 30s reading all the books, doing all the workshops, doing all of that stuff. But again, it had only provided like something short term. It really didn't give any meaningful long term change in my life. So fast forward to when, you know, my friend told me that, and I decided, like, okay, I need to get help, and I need to get help the right way. I decided to invest in myself and actually hire a coach, because it had been something I was thinking about. But when you're not fully committed to a decision, you're just kind of in this wishy-washy energy. And in addition to that, again, I was in the state of not really feeling worthy of investing in myself or putting in the time, energy or money. But when you're desperate like I was, because keep in mind, I felt worse than I did before I took the pills and yeah like, I can't explain what almost dying does to you, but there were several weeks where I had one foot on the other side of the veil, which was kind of a scary experience in its own so for several weeks, my only goal was to make it through the day. So I was so desperate for help, and I knew I had to get help the right way that like, the first thing I did was reach out to a coach. And again, this just happened to be luck, because in my I call it like from the time I got out of the hospital out I call that my healing in earnest journey, but my healing not in earnest. I had gone to this healing intensive, and I had met this coach, and he was actually a men's dating coach, but he doesn't teach, like pick up artists type stuff. He teaches men how to be the best versions of themselves so that they can attract the right partner. So we followed each other on Instagram. So all of his messaging, even though it was, like, geared toward men, it was about being the best version of yourself. So I had thought about reaching out to him before, but now that I was desperate, I'm like, I don't care if he's a men's dating coach, I'm reaching out to him. So I reached out to him. Lesley Logan 16:17  You had trust in him, yeah. Angie Hawkins 16:17  We talked, yeah, yeah. So I was very lucky that I had already made that connection with someone I trusted. Otherwise I would have been searching.Lesley Logan 16:25  Yeah, and like, at a time that, like, I again, there's, there was a party that was already seeking these things out, just those other, the other part of you that was like, like you said, not feeling worthy. And I, I hear this, you know, I just came back from an amazing retreat. And one of the women who came on it, she's like, yeah, I'm one of those people who kept going, oh, I'll do it next time, oh, you know when I have this, then I then I can sign up for it, or when I've done this, then I can sign up for it. And then she's like, fuck it. I'm, I'm worthy to go right now. I'm like, that. Angie Hawkins 16:54  I love that. Lesley Logan 16:55  That right there that makes me so happy. And also, you know, so many people, smart women, listening to this show right now will do that, that little negotiation, oh, when I do this, then I'll be and it's like, you're fucking worthy already. And this is no offense to the parents who are listening. Everyone is doing the best they can, but most of us, somewhere in life along the way, feel like we have to earn the worthiness that we were already born with. Yeah, yeah.Angie Hawkins 17:21  Yes, yeah. And that's where, like, the chasing something outside of yourself come from. Lesley Logan 17:24  Yeah and then that's why you only get those quick little fixes, but it doesn't last. So you found this guy and he helped you, and then what, like, was it like, well, I've made it.Angie Hawkins 17:36  No, it was absolutely a process. I won't sugarcoat that part, because any lasting change is a process, right? But the value and the work that I did with him was, you know, I still have these limiting beliefs, like I'm not worthy, I don't deserve to be loved, blah, blah, blah, but he helped me change my behaviors so that eventually, because if when I started setting healthy boundaries, when I started trusting myself, when I started implementing all the things that we talked about, like over time, that actually changed my beliefs. And so now I do believe I deserve to be loved. I do respect myself, I do trust myself, but that all came like through this process of working with a coach, and that's what ultimately led me, because I was in corporate America for over 20 years, but in stepping into my authentic self and realizing what I want in life, what makes me happy and fulfilled, I realized corporate America was not it, and I also realized that there are so many other women who are now struggling in the same way that I used to struggle. So I was like, I want to help them. So I quit corporate America and became an inner glow coach.Lesley Logan 18:44  I love this. I also love that it's inner glow, like, it's just like, because it's, you know, we we are, most of us are seeking outside of ourselves to change the inside of ourselves. And you just said something about, like, your limiting beliefs, and once you change your beliefs, it's true. Like, we think, okay, well, first of all, this environment, it's not clean. So because this room isn't clean, I can't do the things that I said I was going to do. And then when you don't do the things you said you're gonna do, you don't have confidence. Because that's just, by the way, how confidence works, right? Like, confidence works by doing the thing you said you're gonna do. And so, but then we're like, but we think it's this outside stuff, oh, I gotta make sure that, like, this is just right, or that's just the lighting is just right, but really it's the belief system that we have that affects everything. So can we, do you mind if we go there? Like, can we talk about that? Because, like, if you're someone who typically, you see a people pleaser, and who you know was also, as you mentioned, like, nervous, like, nervous about, like, losing your job. Like, I imagine that the belief systems you had were then causing you to, like, run around and be everything to everybody, and then you have to change the belief systems to be like, nope, not doing that. Like, what's the process? How do you do that?Angie Hawkins 19:52  I mean, it's a whole process, but the whole, and this is what my coaching program is based on, but the overall concept is, we're all born with this light inside of us, but then as we go about life, there's family systems, there's society systems, there's corporate America systems, there's all these systems that if you really think about it, they're just arbitrary rules that someone made up along the way, and we're just blindly following them so we become disconnected from ourselves, and it dims our light. And for example, because I used to be a people pleaser, I would not even question, like, if someone invited me to do something or asked me to do something, I wouldn't even question, like, what do I want to do? What makes me happy and fulfilled? So it's not about and I and this is why I think I struggled with self help when I was healing in my 30s and reaching for things outside of myself, because a lot of it is geared toward fixing yourself or changing something about yourself, but really it's about coming back home to who you are and basing your life off of that. Because when you stop giving your power away to all these external things, you've really stopped caring. Because when you're concerned about, am I living in integrity? Am I happy with who I am as a person? Am I happy with my decisions? You stop caring about what other people think about it.Lesley Logan 21:13  That is so true. That is so true, and so many I was just doing a call with some of the people that I, that I teach today, and, you know, I could tell the question was a very valid question, but I was like, so people, some people like you, if you do it the authentic, the way that's authentic to you, that's also okay, like, they're allowed to go, I don't like that. And it doesn't mean that you're not a great person, you're not a great teacher, but we are so conditioned to be liked, if you're liked, then you did something right?Angie Hawkins 21:45  Yes. And I actually have the opposite viewpoint now, because I totally used to be like that. I wanted everyone to like me, and if someone didn't, then I would like chase after their approval. But now, now I really don't care. And that doesn't mean I don't care about the other person. It's just, it just means that I respect their free will, like, I'm not for everybody, and that's okay, like they have other people that they choose to surround themselves with, and that's okay. I respect who they are as a person, but you have to be like, so grounded in who you are as a person to even get to that point. Lesley Logan 22:17  Yeah, and that's the hard part, because also, if you're so used to trying to anchor in the outside world of who you are, then coming home to yourself, it's gonna feel unfamiliar. And people don't like change, right, like. Angie Hawkins 22:34  Yeah and I think that's why a lot of people resist change, because a huge part in my healing and earnest journey was finding who I was, which was a huge identity shift, because I didn't even know who I was, because I had spent most of my life conforming to all these things outside of myself, and it is very scary. So I was able to see why I had resisted it for so long.Lesley Logan 22:57  Yeah. I mean, it makes me think of like that Runaway Bride, where she like, doesn't, she takes her eggs, you know, and then at the end, she just, you're like, ordering eggs all the different ways so she can figure it out. Because it's like, it is kind of like, well, how do you know you're home? Like, how do you know that you're not, like, conforming again, just another way, you know, that's, can you see, like, where my anxiety will go?Angie Hawkins 23:18  Well, no. Like, one of the first things that my coach worked with me on, and this is one of the first things I work with my clients on, is creating your own rules for life. So you create these value statements, and it's like any decision you make, you just kind of go down the list. Am I doing this? This, this? Then, yep, then I'm good to go. So once you have your own rules for life, it doesn't matter. I mean, as long as you're not breaking the law or anything, which. Lesley Logan 23:43  Yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, like, and that's true, like, you're not hurting people, there are rules for your life that affect only you. And I actually love this because, you know, people like, we coach Pilates instructors on their business. And someone's like, why should I do this? And I'm like, what are your values for your business? Does it go through those? And so it makes sense to have rules for life that's just very much a value system of how you want and it's like, does this, you know, does this? Like, I will do things that light me up. I will do things after 9am because I no longer get up early for people like, oh, this person wants to meet at 9am well, then that is a no, yeah.Angie Hawkins 24:20  Well, it's hard to do, but once you have that system in place, life is so much easier, because that's another thing. I used to feel like life was such a struggle, but it was because I was making that way for myself.Lesley Logan 24:32  Yeah, yeah. I think we all, I think a lot of us are doing that. So I guess like, so since you were, can we go back to it like, when you're a people pleaser like that look like, just like being a yes person for whatever people are saying. How do you now respond to people asking things of you, or the like, if you know what I mean, like, what is some what is a way that you're now responding in life to not being a people pleaser and owning things for yourself and owning like the way you want to live?Angie Hawkins 24:58  Yeah? Yeah, I guess it's different for different situations, but because I think I swayed too far, because I first started implementing boundaries when I worked in corporate America, and at first I would just be like, nope, not doing that, nope, but which no it well.Lesley Logan 25:16  Angie used to do everything, now she does nothing.Angie Hawkins 25:19  And no, is a complete sentence, but you do have to take into consideration the circumstance, especially if it's like work for family and friends. But usually I'll just simply explain, like, for example, something that comes up frequently is that people will ask me to have a call on the weekend, and that's just the boundary that I have. I don't do calls on the weekends. I will rearrange any time during my week, like, to some extent, but I just like, that's my personal time where I recharge is the weekend. So if someone is like, I just had someone this week, well, can you do a call on a Saturday? And I was like, no, I'm sorry I don't do calls on the weekends. It was no problem. She's like, oh, sure. I'll find another time during the week. So it's, it seems scary to do, but in most cases, it's not a problem. Now, if she would have said, like, there's absolutely no other time during the week for the foreseeable future, I might have considered it. So it's still not a strict no, but I do protect my energy as much as possible.Lesley Logan 26:18  Yeah, well, and I, but I love the way you phrased it, because you're also educating the person that it's like, instead of saying, like, some people would go, like, like, you do it this one Saturday, but like, that isn't setting a boundary. It's actually like letting them think that that's a thing. And instead, you're like, oh, I don't do calls on the weekends. That is actually like letting people, letting the person know, like, it's not a, no, I don't like you. It's just a you're asking for a time that's not available and isn't available. You know? So, and I think that you know a lot of people who struggle with being liked, feeling worthy, the people pleasing there's, it's, it's such a simple sentence, once you are have arrived, and like knowing that you're worthy, and it's so difficult, because it's like, you just say that. You just say no, I don't do calls on the weekends. It's like, give it a try, you know. But it's hard. It's hard for people. Angie Hawkins 27:06  It is hard. But the funny thing is, it really is that easy, because, like, the first few times I had to say no, because I used to be I used to have zero boundaries, like I couldn't even if someone invited me to do something. I couldn't even say no to that. But when I first started using the word no, like, no, I'm sorry, I need to rest this weekend or whatever, and then they were like, okay, that's fine, because it's very rare that you have people push back. And honestly, the people that do push back on your boundaries are the kind of people you don't want in your life anyway. Lesley Logan 27:36  Yeah, so that becomes a (inaudible) sign.Angie Hawkins 27:39  And it becomes very apparent, very fast, and that's actually helpful information for you. So boundaries are so powerful in so many ways.Lesley Logan 27:48  I do it's really interesting, because some people are like, oh, you're so rigid. I'm like, I'm I'm not rigid. Actually, I just don't, just don't do things on your timeline. I do things on my timeline, and that's okay, because I also don't have expectations that you do things on my timeline, you know, like, but there is a Venn diagram where our timelines will align if it's meant to be together, you know.Angie Hawkins 28:11  But you probably also have a lot of people who respect how self-respecting you are of yourself, because I got to the point where this happened a lot at work, people would compliment me on my boundaries. And I was like, me, like someone who used to not have boundaries? So a lot of people will actually respect you for having boundaries.Lesley Logan 28:29  They totally do, and also like and if they don't, or they're upset about like, I'm like, oh, why is this person getting so upset about the fact that I just I cannot do a call before 9am because you want to know what I'm going to forget it's there, because I don't have to work before 9am so if on a day I have to work before 9am there are three people reminding me that I've got a call at eight because I'll just go, yeah, yeah, you told me. You told me, and it's like good to do. So, like, it's more out of like, my habit is I don't so then I don't have to remember anything extra. But I do, I do, I do think that these things reveal things about people. And it reveals, like, are we gonna work together? Well, you know, like, and I, I do. I do hope people respect my respect that I have so much, such good, grounded boundaries and and also, like, it's because I used to, like you, always have none. And I used to chase, like, if anyone would invite me, I would just go, okay, I'm coming over. Yeah, I'm spending the night. How many nights I'll stay? I'll stay all the nights you want. Like, I wouldn't go home for like, a week. My parents were just like, okay, you know, because, like, I was having so much fun, but also, like, I wasn't actually doing anything for me. I was doing whatever we wanted to do it there, you know. So I all the way until when I got a job. Oh my gosh, Angie, I would get every job I had that was not for myself, I would just keep getting promoted, and I would just say, yes, that's like, the lack of boundaries. Like, okay, yeah, I'll take on that job that I have no idea how to do. No problem. I got it. I'll do it. And like, and you had to quit my job so they wouldn't promote me again, because I couldn't trust myself to turn it down because I needed the money. So it was like, I needed the money. The promotion came with a raise. And also, also, they're like, well, Lesley will always do 150% so she'll just do more than this is being paid for anyways, and, like, so I just, it took me a lot. It took me, like, literally having to quit my job. So I wouldn't say that.Angie Hawkins 30:16  Yeah, and that's why I got really disgruntled with corporate America, because it's, it's like a dysfunctional family, like they will promote the people who have zero boundaries, because they can take advantage of them, amongst other things. Lesley Logan 30:29  Yes, and I also don't even think it's a conscious decision. They're just like, oh, this person does so much. Why wouldn't we want them to do more? So okay, but we do have a lot of people who don't get to quit their job and become an inner glow coach. So like, if, if people want to work on their inner glow, but then have to, like, work within corporate America. Like, is there hope for them? Can they do it?Angie Hawkins 30:50  I think it depends on the situation. Like, I wish I could say that I just, like, had so much courage and just, you know, wildly, went out on my own. But even after I had the idea that I wanted to quit and start my own business, I still had to have the universe kick me in the butt, because I was transferred to this team, and I basically had a bully as a manager, and it got so bad that I couldn't stand it. And I was like, okay, this is my sign to leave. I think if something is that toxic, your choices are limited, however, like I've been in other situations that were not that toxic, and I do think you can navigate them again, like by having strong boundaries is huge, but having a strong sense of yourself so that they're not taking advantage of you and walking all over you.Lesley Logan 31:37  Yeah, I think, like when you do have strong boundaries, you can recognize that in a company. So if you're like interviewing, you can start to recognize, like, the signs that their boundaries are, you know, that they're like, I had someone, I took a breath work course, and they said there are space makers and there are space takers, and nothing that neither is wrong. But can we all agree, space makers, that you can raise your hand first and space takers, if they ask more of you, it doesn't mean that they're assholes. You just have to say, no. Angie Hawkins 32:07  Yeah and because sometimes it is unintentional. Lesley Logan 32:10  Yeah, I do think so. I think they're just asking. Like, there are people who, like, are good questioners, like, I'm not that person, and they'll just ask. I'm like, oh my god, they just asked that person to write their bio, you know. But like, they're just asking, and, like, it requires other person to go, oh, I actually, I review bios, but I don't write them, you know. So, you know, like, yeah, we have to. I think where people struggle is that they they figure out their boundaries, and maybe you can help with this, they figure what their boundaries are, and then they have to reinforce them, because, unfortunately, there isn't like, like, a rules sheet when you enter this, like, when you enter a call with me, there's not like, here are all the rules I have, right? Like, the rules of engagement. That's not how life works. You're going to be out and about, you're going to run into people, you're gonna be at a grocery store, you're gonna be at a job interview. So, like, how do people like is, how did you navigate having to enforce your boundaries after you got, like, after the pendulum swung all the way and you're like, no, like, how did you like one in the middle to like, enforce boundaries without feeling like you're constantly enforcing your boundaries?Angie Hawkins 33:11  That's a really good question, because the hardest part of boundaries is not setting them, it's enforcing them, because there are people who will intentionally try to walk all over you and try to encroach your boundaries, but to your point earlier, people will unintentionally, like, you know, just try to inch up on them, and you have to be stern on enforcing them. And it could be, and again, it depends on the situation, but it could escalate to the point where it's like, I can no longer talk to you if you'll continue to disrespect my no, I mean that but with enforcing boundaries, not only do you have to state the consequence, you have to be willing to enforce the consequence if they do encroach your boundary again. So it can be difficult, and there have been people in my life that I've had to cut off communication with for that reason, but like in the long run, it makes my mental health so much better, because you don't have that person sucking up your energy anymore.Lesley Logan 34:14  Yeah, yeah, I agree. And also, thank God for technology, because it's so easy to block and bless you can block phone numbers, you can block emails. You can block socials. Like, you can also add them at the time, that's right. But like, you can protect your energy. Angie Hawkins 34:27  Yeah, that's true. Lesley Logan 34:28  I probably should ask you this earlier. But like, can we talk about what inner glow looks like? What it means, like, what is it like? You know, obviously, as we heard your journey, like, you know, obviously, pre the earnest time, maybe no inner glow, but like, what is, what does it mean when we have inner glow? Like, how do we know if we have it?Angie Hawkins 34:47  Well, so the reason I came up with the name Inner Glow is because when I truly started believing like that I loved myself, that I deserved to be loved, and I respected myself, and I believed that I deserve that from other people, it was truly a sensation of in my chest, like it felt like the sun was glowing, like it was like, maybe I can explain it as, like an energetic feeling from the inside out, yeah. But on top of that, I would have other people tell me, like, oh, you're glowing or some people would even just compliment my looks in that like, oh, you look so beautiful. Blah, blah, blah. But I think they were really talking about the reflection of my energy. So the inner glow is radiating in your own love and respect, so much that it's actually radiating to people outside of you. So not only do they see it, but they can be inspired by it, and it's this ripple effect, because I'm of the mindset that you're either contributing to the negative vibration of the universe, because there's plenty of that going on right now, or you're contributing to raising the vibration of the universe. So like this ripple effect even extends out to raising the vibration of the entire universe, because you're sending out, because there's so many things going on in this world right now that it's hard for us to impact on an individual level. But, even just sending that energy of love to certain areas of the world actually does make a difference.Lesley Logan 36:11  It really, you're, you're so I'm glad we're touching on this, because I think it is. It can even feel like, especially in the time that we're talking, it can feel like, well, what's the point? Like, everything is falling apart. So many people have less than me. I'm barely keeping alive. Most of my listeners at the time we're recording this guys, it's October 23rd 2025, and the you know if you're listening to the States, government shutdown. People are hearing that their health insurance can go up to 30,000 or 40,000 a year from nine and and like, you could be like, why should I have an inner glow? How do I even think about glowing when like, this is happening outside of my control, and people have less than and it's in you can almost feel like, what's the point? But you're, what you said it, the point is like the world needs more of us to raise the vibrations and affect, even if you affect the three people that are your neighbors and you show them so much love, it does. It does have a domino effect. It does have this like magnetism effect. I do believe that.Angie Hawkins 37:11  Yeah, and even if you don't think just being in your own positive light is changing the universe, you can actually just pick someone and send positive energy to that person. And trust me, it makes a difference in that person's life.Lesley Logan 37:26  It does. I love that, gosh, Angie, you're so cool. Like, what you're doing is so needed. And I think, like, especially because, you know, I've had, I've heard so many listeners going, I've done this, I've done this. I'm still stuck. I'm still struggling. And I, what I like, I'm gathering from this is like, it's all that outward stuff. It's not, it's not actually going to make the change. It has to be the inner glow. It has to be this inner vibration that you're changing. And that does take time, and it does take a lot of knowing of who you are. And that's a process.Angie Hawkins 38:01  yes, but it is 100% worth it, and I am proof of that. Lesley Logan 38:05  And you're like, at this goal, you've got these gorgeous wallpaper that matches your plants in the background, like you're just glowing, so, well, we could talk forever, and we'll probably have to have another conversation in the future, but we're gonna take a brief break and then find out how people can find you, follow you, and work with you. Lesley Logan 38:22  All right. Angie, the Inner Glow Coach, where do you hang out? Obviously, Hawaii. But Can people work with you online? Where should they go? What? What should they grab?Angie Hawkins 38:30  Yes, please visit my website. It is runninginslippers.com which is also the name of my book. So there's obviously information on where to buy the book. It's on paperback, Kindle and audiobook, and I do narrate the audio book, but there's also information on my coaching program. My current coaching program is called Shine From the Inside, and I do offer Free 60-Minute Find Your Glow sessions. So we will talk for an hour about whatever you're struggling with, and at the end, I will give recommendations for going forward, because you know, my, me and my coaching program are not for everyone, and I am okay with that. So if we're not a good fit, I know other coaches, I know therapists. I have other resources that I can refer you to. The entire goal of the call is to get you help, because again, I am confident that there are other women struggling in the same way I was, and you do not have to live that life that way. Lesley Logan 39:26  Oh my god, an hour call and, you guys, take advantage, because, you know.Angie Hawkins 39:31  Everyone I've done a call with has a breakthrough on that call, because an hour is a long time. Lesley Logan 39:36  Yeah, oh, you're so good. Okay, you have given us a lot already, but we do at the show like to have a little, not a too long didn't listen, but just like a little summary and like an actionable step we can take, because we are high performers who are listening to this podcast. So bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it, what do you have for us? Angie Hawkins 39:55  Number one is to decide, because any meaningful change. Your life comes from a decision, and the reason that is is because if you're not committed, you're going to be in the squishy, washy energy. And that's where you hear people say stuff like, well, I tried and it's not working, or I'm trying, and if you're not committed to something, you're going to quit the second it gets hard, but when you're committed to your decision, then the only choice is to stay on that path and figure out if something isn't working, and then you'll figure out what does. So I know it sounds simplistic, but when you make a decision to do something, you're committed and all in and that's when the real change happens. That's when lasting change happens. Number two is to take action. And I know you talk about this a lot, so I won't dwell on that. But number three, which is in conjunction with taking action, is about your nervous system, because a lot of people think that confidence and courage is about not being afraid, and taking action is about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. So before you take action, you need to prime your nervous system. So an easy way to do that is to just like, sit up straight, breathe. Some people do the Superman pose. What I do if I'm doing something in public, I call it the goddess walk, or the celebrity walk. I will walk into a place like I own it, even if I'm like, a nervous wreck and falling apart on the inside, but it's priming your nervous system to feel the fear and do it anyway, and just overall, your nervous system regulation. Because I used to be the kind of person I would let anxiety and fear just absolutely take over me, but now I have the tools to actually feel safe in my own body while I'm feeling those feelings and knowing that they're not going to consume me and overwhelm me so nervous system regulation and feeling safe in your own body while you're feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Lesley Logan 41:50  Oh my god, I'm obsessed. Okay, I have a fun story for you, and this will be a great way for people to have an example of that goddess walk. So in Cambodia, in our town, in our village, there's, there's a couple street lights now in the city, which is really annoying because I think it's causing more traffic. And people have now decided to have cars instead of motos. I don't know why you'd want to be in a car going 20 miles an hour when you could be in a moto going 25 but that's fine. At any rate, you just have to cross the street. Okay, so I don't know if you ever been to Southeast Asia, but you just have to cross the street. And these went. Lesley Logan 42:21  I have been to Indonesia. Lesley Logan 42:22  Correct. Okay, there, yes. So you have to cross the street and they and you can't, you cannot stop. If you stop, that's when you you fuck it all up, because now the bike was like expecting you to continue going, and they were gonna be right behind you, and now you stopped, and now they have to swerve, but then there's somebody behind so it becomes a domino effect. And when I first went to Cambodia, we were in Phnom Penh, and I saw this, she could have been seven years old, and she had a little kid who I don't know, barely walking in her hand. You guys, this was a five-lane wide on any American street, but probably, like 10-lane wide in Europe, because, like, you know how the streets are really wide in the States. Anyways, she put her hand up and just crossed the street with this little kid, and she just had her hand up, seven years old, and she just crossed. I saw the first time I was in Phnom Penh, I saw this, and I was like, look at that girl. Look at that confidence, right? But when we moved, it to Siem Reap, we do our time there. I channel that girl every time. So when I cross the street, I just throw my arms up and I just walk like it's my fucking street, and you can go around me. And so these women are like, okay, can we go, and I'm like, what we're gonna do is we're gonna open our arms and we're gonna walk and we're gonna own this place. And by the oh my god, by the end, Angie, everyone is just like going.Angie Hawkins 43:37  I love that story. I love that. That's a perfect example. Lesley Logan 43:41  Walking. It's like, the Miss Congeniality, like I'm walking here, but like, like, hello, like, open, good vibes. And it's just so funny. And now to be home, and I'm like, oh, I'm just, I have to wait for the light. Angie Hawkins 43:53  Or do you? Maybe you could do that here. Lesley Logan 43:59  It's so fun. It's so fun. But I love that, because you do have to, you said it, I just want to reiterate, people who are you think are confident and courageous, are not without fear. They are truly they did a show. It's showtime. Pep talk, something they're shaking in the boot. You're not like behind the podium. They're all doing it, and you can I just, this is a great, great show, Angie, you're the best. Thank you for helping us find our inner glow. Lesley Logan 44:27  You guys. How are you going to use these tips in your life? We want to know. Tag Angie. Tag the Be It Pod. Go get that phone call with her. My goodness, like you're gonna have breakthrough. Who wouldn't want to do that? And, oh, my god, I'm so jealous you're in Hawaii right now. It's got to feel like, like just you're on a beautiful island. Anyways, thank you so much for being our guest today, Angie and everyone, please share this with a friend who needs to hear it. Until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 44:50  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 45:32  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 45:37  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 45:42  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 45:49  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 45:52  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Stop carrying the heavy mental load of solving everyone else's problems. Lesley Logan reveals the surprising freedom that comes from stepping back as everyone's personal problem solver. From a viral Olympic story featuring Madeline Schizas that showcases the power of empathy, to Vickie McEntire's incredible $500 community fundraiser, this episode celebrates the wins that happen when we simply root for one another. Lesley also pulls back the curtain on her own journey, sharing the boundaries that are transforming her personal relationships and protecting her peace. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:A teacher going above and beyond to support his student's success.Benefits of hosting community-based fitness events for local charities.Strategies for identifying when advice is actually being requested.Reducing mental pressure by releasing the role of problem solver.Episode References/Links:Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questionsThe Female Quotient® - https://beitpod.com/madelinechizas If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  It's Fuck Yeah Friday. Brad Crowell 0:01  Fuck yeah. Lesley Logan 0:02  Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:48  Hi, Be It babe. How are you? Oh my god. We're in the middle of April. We did it. We're here. I'm home. I'm back from Europe. I have so much to say about that, but I'll be in a future episode. So it's fuck yeah Friday. So we get really cool about talking about what's going well, what's fun, what, what did we do? Because if we don't celebrate the little things and the big wins, then who, who is right? I mean, actually today's inspiration on the internet, someone is and I, I have so much love for this post, and I also just feel like it helps remind, like, remind us that we're human beings and we can do certain things for people as well. So I mean, obviously, all capacities are different, but let me, let me show the story. So Madeline Schizas asked for an extension to our college assignment and see how our professor responded. So the the post is like, hi, Professor, blah, blah, blah. I'm a student in your sociology course, and I'm wondering if I can get a short extension on this week's reflection. I was competing in the Olympic Games yesterday, and thought the reflection was due Sunday, not Friday. Here is the Canadian Olympic Committee press release to confirm my participation. Thanks for your consideration. So cute, right? Like, by the way, I'd be this girl. This would be me going, I'm at the Olympics, and I have homework too, and here's a proof I'm actually gonna be in the Olympics. But this is how her professor responded. Hi, Madeline. Wow. What a special moment. Yes, in this circumstance, an extension is perfectly fine. I'd say focus on the competition right now and submit it directly to me when it's done. The triple, let's triple toe combo is a pretty hard move to master, but you've got this. Good luck. The whole country is rooting for you and your teammates. PS, when I was 10, I scored a goal in hockey, and that was challenging enough for me. And then there's another picture. He created an Instagram account just so he could post a picture of him watching her compete. I mean, the world needs more teachers like this now and then she she posted this, and she also shares, like, Wow, I can't believe everyone cared so much. I gotta get the extension. And so, so I just think it's so I just think that's so sweet and so special. And like, what a cool professor, not just to, like, give the extension, because, of course, that's what they would do. Like, that's the right thing to do, but also to be like, here I'm rooting for you like that's we all need teachers like that, and I know we have a lot of different types of teachers who watch and listen to this pod. And you're probably like that for someone else, and you might not even know it, but you you are. And so thanks for being here. Thanks for listening. Lesley Logan 3:15  Okay, your win. This one comes from Vickie McEntire. So here's my win this week. Hell, this month, I hosted a Joe's gym to raise money for the local food pantry, and we brought in $500 we had fun, we played, we practiced. Heck, $500 for that's a huge donation for them. That's amazing. Way to go. Vickie, way to make it a community event. Way to make it fun. Way to make everyone wins there, right? Like everyone you, you get to have that achievement that you did this for them. They get to feel good because they gave money to them. Together, you guys gave a lot of money, and you all got to do Pilates. I love that. Thank you for sharing. You all should send your wins in to beitpod.com/questions so I can celebrate your wins here, and you can be reminded of the amazing things that you do. Lesley Logan 3:58  So all right, here's the deal. I'm a recovering perfectionist and overachiever, and I have a really hard time sometimes, like turning the brain off. And I was given a suggestion that I don't have to in all conversations, help people with a problem, they have, meaning if they're not putting a question mark on the statement, I don't have to give them an answer, and so then maybe I wouldn't feel so pressured to be on calls in regular life. I'm not talking about work life, I'm talking about regular life, not the coaching calls, but regular life. Maybe I wouldn't feel the pressure to be on the call, because I'm not there to be anything other than, oh, wow, I'm sure you'll figure that out. Right? Like, I don't have to give advice, and then if my advice isn't taken, I don't feel frustrated that, like I gave you all this advice and you didn't take it. So I feel feel really good about that. And so I've been practicing that. Like, if they're not asking me for advice. I don't have to be the advice giver. What a world. I didn't know that that was a thing. I mean, not that I go around just like giving people unsolicited advice. It's not what I do. But I kind of have become that friend and family member who like, does that like I think people just assume I will. And so maybe they're not even putting question marks on it. And so now it's like, unless you put a question mark on it, I'm not gonna. I'm trying really hard to just go, oh, how interesting. Lesley Logan 5:29  Okay, we it's one week in the body and the brain, and so it will take time. So what I'm gonna say right now is, what a load off. It already feels like a win, and it's only a load off and a week and, I mean, we'll see how things go as they progress. But I just want to share that with you, because, in case you're like me, and you are avoiding phone calls, not that I'm saying you're going to answer the phone calls. I'm not saying you do that. That's a different win, but you're avoiding the phone calls because you're like, Oh, they're gonna just not take the advice I have. I guess the moral of the story is, like, we don't have to give it, and that's the win. All right, Be It babe, you're amazing. I hope that made sense to you. I mean, since like attracts like, I think it might have. Lesley Logan 6:11  Okay. Your mantra for the week. I am still learning, so it's okay to make mistakes. I am still learning so it is okay to make mistakes. We are still learning, so it's totally okay for us to make mistakes, because it is. You're amazing. Go share this with a friend who needs to hear it. Help this podcast get even bigger and a bigger audience, because the more Be It babes, the easier it is to be around people who are acting like the people that they want to be, so that they become that person today, instead of waiting. Yes, that's what we're here for. Have an amazing day. Till next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 6:45  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 7:28  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 7:33  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 7:37  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 7:44  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 7:47  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell dive into the highlights of Lesley's conversation with Billy Lahr, a Certified Mindfulness Meditation Teacher with a background in education and behavior change. They explore his perspective on comfort zones, breaking down the difference between being comfortable and becoming complacent, and why growth doesn't have to come from constant discomfort. From the importance of healthcare directives to the permission gap that keeps women selfless to a fault, this episode challenges you to take a more intentional approach to how you live and show up.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Making healthcare decisions in advance using a free online resource.How to stretch one's comfort zone to avoid the complacency zone.The power of closing the permission gap to stop burnout.Why self-prioritization is the key to a grounded, centered life.How to leverage curiosity and consistency to build genuine passion.Episode References/Links:FreeWill - freewill.comOPC Spring Training (Virtual Event) - opc.me/events   2027 eLevate Mentorship Program - lesleylogan.co/elevatePilates Summer Tour - opc.me/tourFolding Pilates Mat - opc.me/foldingmatMindful Midlife Crisis - https://www.mindfulmidlifecrisis.comBilly Lahr Official Website - https://billylahr.comJump Start Conversation - https://mindfulmidlifecrisis.systeme.io/jumpstartconvoSubmit Your Questions - beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! 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DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Brad Crowell 0:00  He's saying we think that when we're selfless, we're quote, unquote correct or right, and then when we are selfish, we're wrong. And what he was saying is, like, those are both actual extremes. Yeah, you know, what if we were grounded or self-centered? Or what if we focus about centered self, not like, in a negative way, but like, how do we—Lesley Logan 0:23  I know so—Brad Crowell 0:24  How can we be both of those things instead of like, one or the other? Lesley Logan 0:28  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Brad Crowell 1:10  Take it away there, Lesley.Lesley Logan 1:13  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the thought-provoking convo I had with Billy Lhar in our last episode. Brad Crowell 1:21  Yeah, we are. Lesley Logan 1:22  If you haven't listened to that interview, you should, you could pause this now and hear what I sound like, not with a sinus infection. And then, if you're new, you'll be like, this girl's voice sucks. I can't stand it. And then you'll stick it out. Brad Crowell 1:33  Yeah. Lesley Logan 1:34  You'll stick it out. Brad Crowell 1:34  Stick it out. You will— Lesley Logan 1:35  I promise you—Brad Crowell 1:36  You'll do that we believe in you. Lesley Logan 1:38  I promise you, this is not this, too shall pass. What if someone's like, oh, my God, I loved her voice when she had the science affection, and now, when it's gone, like, ugh. Lesley Logan 1:50  Well, today is April 16, 2026 and it's National Healthcare Decisions Day. Huh? Interesting. Let's see where this goes.Brad Crowell 1:58  (Laughs)Lesley Logan 1:59  This day is observed every year on April 16, the day after tax day interesting as well. Are you aware that there are times you might need to make some decisions about your health care, but be incapacitated to make them? Oh, this is an interesting okay, I thought I felt like the health insurance companies, but this is about us—Brad Crowell 2:13  No. Lesley Logan 2:14  This is—Brad Crowell 2:14  This is about in personal health care decisions that we can make. Lesley Logan 2:17  This day is set aside to help you take care of those potential situations ahead of time is a day for patients or healthcare receivers to make known to health professionals the kind of adequate care they wish to receive and have those wishes respected and met. Well, whether they'll be respected and met, are different stories in the United States healthcare situation, but I do agree we Brad and I are supposed to have sat down his parents are going to annoy us until we do and actually, like, talk about our Do Not Resuscitate stuff and all that. Brad Crowell 2:44  Yeah. It's like, called advanced direction, or something—Lesley Logan 2:47  Directive?Brad Crowell 2:48  Direct, yeah, Advanced Directive. Maybe that's it. Yeah. So we've been on a healthcare tour, and we've been— Lesley Logan 2:53  We are using the insurance we pay for. Brad Crowell 2:57  We absolutely are—Lesley Logan 2:58  We are annoying the hell out of them. We are going to use every benefit they say we pay for. Brad Crowell 3:03  Well, it's also not like a fast, quick decision. We started doing this, like, I don't know, 18 months ago? Lesley Logan 3:09  Oh yeah, it says it's taken you 18 months to get the results you got today. Brad Crowell 3:13  I'm not even kidding, it's insane to me. Lesley Logan 3:15  (Laughs) There's nothing wrong with you. Brad Crowell 3:15  Yeah, they were like, hey, everything's good up there. Your brain. I'm like, well, that makes me feel good, but what the heck it took that long anyway? Yeah, it's been a it's been a whirlwind, and we've been learning a lot of things. Just like you have a last will and testament, you also need to have something called an, I'm looking up now to get the exact phrasing of it. But like, what the last will test—Lesley Logan 3:40  You have to do it when you, like, do surgeries and stuff like that. So you have to, you should talk with your partners and your families about your wishes. Brad Crowell 3:46  Yeah, it's called a living will, or an Advanced Directive. It's a legal document for healthcare that outlines your treatment preferences if you become incapacitated— Lesley Logan 3:56  Oh, I, let me just tell you, you guys want to go on a journey. Because I remember, I remember, oh, my God, what was her name? It's not in my head, because I'm on Dayquil, but when I grew up, I remember she was on the cover of every tabloid magazine, and her husband was made out to be this big villain because he wanted to pull the plug. Brad Crowell 4:14  Oh, in Florida, yeah. Lesley Logan 4:17  Oh, you guys want to, okay, you're listening to a podcast. Go to the You're Wrong About Series. Go all the way back to the beginning. They have what is that woman's Sherry? Sherry. It's coming. Tyvo. Sherry Tyvo. Sherry Livo? Sherry—Brad Crowell 4:33  Tyvan? Lesley Logan 4:33  No, Sherry Tyvo Brad Crowell 4:37  Coma case.Lesley Logan 4:38  In Florida in the 90s.Brad Crowell 4:43  Terry. T Y—Lesley Logan 4:44  Terri Schiavo! Brad Crowell 4:45  Schiavo. Lesley Logan 4:46  Not I had, oh my God!Brad Crowell 4:47  You did. You had it backwards. Lesley Logan 4:48  Woah! I had Sherry Tyvo. Brad Crowell 4:50  (Inaudible)Lesley Logan 4:50  And it's Terri Schiavo. You guys, the more Adderall I am, the more dislikes like I think I am. I think it's just showing that I am okay. So, Terri Schiavo, her, go listen to You're Wrong About. That husband was not the villain that the tabloids made him out to be, and her family made it out to be, and then the Bush Administration got involved, became this whole Supreme Court thing. And let me just tell you, they, people in this country will keep you on life support against your will. It happened to the black woman Atlanta who was forced to stay, this happened in the last year. Her family was forced to keep her on life support because she was six months pregnant. Then they made her stay on life support until the baby was viable, to live without her at the time we're recording this, that baby is still in the NICU cannot survive on its own. So we need laws that protect people, and then we need advanced directives, because what we don't want is the government getting involved. That's what you don't want. I mean that this is not a very uplifting conversation. So go (Laughs)Brad Crowell 5:52  Let's, let's, let's shift back to how we can take care of this for yourself, like today's about making a decision for yourself. So there's a couple different things that you can do. You can, you know, if you have been meaning to make that doctor's appointment, just do it today's the day do it. Set aside a little bit of time today to, like, actually get the ball rolling. Because the problem, like, I know what the problem is. The problem is that it never is fast. You call, it's freaking voicemail. Like, like, nothing seems to flow. And so you have to call back 10 times. I literally had to drive across the street to this doctor's office two times to schedule my fucking appointment. It's insane. So I understand how frustrating that can be, but if you don't start now, it will never happen. Lesley Logan 6:33  Well, you won't have you won't have the team in place when you need them. And I will say, like in our journey of making sure that we have a team of healthcare professionals that are local, I have been able to find doctors that actually give a fuck, like my my gynecologist, who does my my hormone treatment in Vegas. She gives such a fuck that I have a breast doctor. That breast doctor has me on an MRI next week, and then in six months, I'm mammogram, and that's where I'm at until and then she'll and then she's gonna get me to the plastic surgeon to talk about my options. Like they will help advocate for you if you really do advocate for yourself. Like I found, like, it's kind of amazing when you get into it. Now, do I have what I complained when I said, I hate this imaging place. She's like, just drive there and make the appointment. It's faster. And I was like, are you kidding me? But it is. She's like, it's just fast, it's just the way it has to go. I know in the year of our Lord 2026, but it is what it is. And here's another trick for your doctor's office. Call billing, billing. Billing always answers. Brad Crowell 7:32  Billing always answers. Lesley Logan 7:33  So my gynecologist, before I leave. I always say, when you want to see me again, because I'm just gonna book it on my way out, because that's the best thing. And she's like, it is the best thing. I said, oh, you want to what the other hack is, it's just like, is? And she's like, what I said, my assistant calls billing, they always answer. And she goes, oh my God. She's like, you are crazy, but she loves me. So what I highly recommend take the steps it becomes, it's like, part of your adulting life. Pick an hour every week to do adulting, and you'll be glad you did, because things will happen and you're not going to want to be up the creek without a paddle. Brad Crowell 8:02  Yeah, you're not going to be up the Advanced Health Care Directive without a paddle. I was just poking around, and there is a very interesting free service provider that will do Last Will and Testament, Revocable Living Trust, Advanced Health Care Directive, Power of Attorney, and it's called freewill.com. Lesley Logan 8:24  That's crazy. Brad Crowell 8:25  They do not sponsor us, but I think it's pretty amazing. And they actually have, I was just poking around, they actually have, like, a guided for last will and testament. They have a guided will maker that covers all 50 states. Lesley Logan 8:37  You know who I need to interview. I interview a will maker. How do we be it till we see it in this Advanced Directive? Like— Brad Crowell 8:43  That'll be cool. Lesley Logan 8:43  What is that like? What are all the things I need to know? What should be in my will? Who should not be in my will? You know all that stuff.Brad Crowell 8:50  And well. And then FreeWill also has for the advanced directive of healthcare stuff. They have a free one that's also guided through all the all the states. So they, they seem to have their shit together. They're actually funded by— Lesley Logan 9:00  If you're in a different country I have no idea how to help you there, but—Brad Crowell 9:02  They're funded by a nonprofit or a charity, so they're totally free, pretty crazy. Lesley Logan 9:06  Wow. Brad Crowell 9:06  Yeah. Lesley Logan 9:07  Okay. The skeptic in me is like, who is funding this? Brad Crowell 9:10  (Laughs) Lesley Logan 9:10  The Peter Thiel—Brad Crowell 9:11  Yeah, right? Lesley Logan 9:12  (Laughs)Brad Crowell 9:13  About FreeWill, who we are— Lesley Logan 9:15  This is really what they're interested in. They're like, dying to know. Brad Crowell 9:18  Yeah, right? Lesley Logan 9:18  But you have to look up these things, because there is a nonprofit organization that's about, like, like, it sounds like it's about keeping kids from being online too early, but really, it's actually owned by meta, and their whole thing is to get your kids information early, and so they can, I know, so you gotta, you gotta look at these things you don't know. Now, I sound like a tin hat person, but you gotta look. Brad Crowell 9:41  Yeah, so they have nonprofit partners. It doesn't. It's not really that clear, but—Lesley Logan 9:45  Use it your own risk. Brad Crowell 9:46  We'll figure that out. You know.Lesley Logan 9:47  You, you know, be thoughtful. All right. Well, that's that at least gives you an actual step to be it till you see it in your advanced directive. And I know it comes after tax day. And look, no one likes taxes. But the reality is, is, if you vote in your primaries for the people that you think will to put your tax dollars to work the way you want. You have a better chance of getting that in the major part in November. So go vote. Primaries are happening all over the place right now as we speak, and so please go take care of that. Okay. Brad Crowell 10:17  1,000% Lesley Logan 10:18  Yes! Lesley Logan 10:19  So important.Lesley Logan 10:19   I know. Brad Crowell 10:20  All right, let's shift gears here. So coming up next, we got spring training happening in May, May 12 through 17th. So if you want to do Pilates at home, we're going to be going upside down in a bunch of different ways, with some really fun classes led by all the OPC team. And if you want information about that, it's probably already available for you to jump into— Lesley Logan 10:39  Oh yeah, you can sign up right now.Brad Crowell 10:40  But go to opc.me/events, opc.me/events. Also eLevate 2027 we have only a few spots left. I think it's possible that they're already sold out. But if you were really interested in a deep dive of classical Pilates with Lesley, it's a nine month mentorship program for certified Pilates teachers. We're going to be kicking it off in January next year. Learn more about that at lesleylogan.co/elevate. Lesleylogan.co/elevate. And you and I can hop on a call. We'd love to explain more about it with you. And then finally, we have summer tour coming up. Lesley Logan 11:14  I know that's so crazy. It's going it's a fast. Brad Crowell 11:16  it's a bit ahead of schedule here. That's in August. Lesley Logan 11:19  If it's in August, we open the doors in May. Brad Crowell 11:21  So that's exciting. We can't wait. It's gonna be awesome this year. We have a different route. I was just reviewing it with the team. We're going to be going, like, directly across the country, straight across all the way to Tennessee and back. So we're doing, like, a big, long oval in the middle of the country, hitting—Lesley Logan 11:35  We're not going to go up into the Michigan?Brad Crowell 11:37  We're not I was, I was—Lesley Logan 11:39  We lied to everybody. Brad Crowell 11:40  We lied to everyone last week and the week and the week before. Yeah, 100% we are hitting Dallas, though we're gonna catch that on the way back. Lesley Logan 11:46  Okay, I feel like a little sad for our Chicago Michiganders, you know. Brad Crowell 11:52  Yeah, I definitely—Brad Crowell 11:53  All those people. Brad Crowell 11:54  Well, we were just there in September in Chicago.Lesley Logan 11:56  I know, but it's not. We weren't in Minneapolis. Brad Crowell 11:59  We will work it out. We'll work it out. But this tour is going across the country, and, yeah, but, but come join us if you're able to, you know, find out all the information at opc.me/tour. Lesley Logan 12:08  I'm really excited! I realize I didn't sound as excited as I am. I'm just, I like, I had it in my head that we were, like, doing the middle, and we're doing a different middle. Lesley Logan 12:18  We are doing the middle.Lesley Logan 12:19   It wasn't clear. I wasn't clear— Brad Crowell 12:20  Yeah it's a different middle—Lesley Logan 12:21  I manifested the wrong oval. Brad Crowell 12:23  (Laughs)Lesley Logan 12:23  Okay, noted for next time. Well, before we get into the episode, what is the question of the week? Lesley Logan 12:30  Yeah, so, okay, this is from advocate_pilates on Instagram. She asked, Hey, Lesley, what mat do you use? Does it have good grip, and do you use it for Mat Pilates? Yeah, yeah. So I don't I have a mat that's just for Pilates, and I have a mat that's for yoga, and that's intentional. They are two different practices. They require two different needs. So I use a contrology mat for Pilates. It has a firm density, which doesn't mean it's hard as a rock. It's actually quite great for when you roll on it, you don't have to worry about, like, touching the floor or anything like that, but it's firm enough to do plank so your wrists don't have any issues, and shoulders have any issues. And we have an incredible affiliate link that you can use to get a discount on that mat as handles. Brad Crowell 13:11  It's opc.me/foldingmat, foldingmat. Lesley Logan 13:16  And as far as, like, good grip, I'm imagining you mean on the floor. And so what I would say is, like, I you probably would put a pad down if you had hardwood floors, because there is, like, some metal on the bottom that you don't want to scratch your hardwood floors, and that would keep it from sliding around. Pretty much any mat. You should all be mindful of stepping on mats on hardwood floors, because a lot of mats will slip around. So even if they have good grip with your skin. They always have good grip on the hardwood floors. We have tile and we have a rug. So it doesn't slide around on our tile. It doesn't slide around our rugs. It is a heavy duty. Brad Crowell 13:49  I mean, it's, it weighs like, you know, 20 pounds. Brad Crowell 13:52  Oh, yeah. Brad Crowell 13:53  It's not light, yeah. It's not like a, it's not a, this is not a yoga mat.Lesley Logan 13:56  No, no, no. So Dan, so I it is an investment. But to me, your mat practice is something you're going to do forever, and it's something, well, this mat, you'll buy one, and you'll have it forever, and there's that. So that's what's really great. Versus my yoga mat.Brad Crowell 14:09  Buy one get that one forever,Lesley Logan 14:11  Get one forever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Versus my yoga mats that I inevitably have to replace even every 10 years because they start to just fall apart, Yep, yeah.Brad Crowell 14:21  Well, if you have a question, ping us. Let us know. Send us a text. 310-905-5534, or, you know, and easier is go to be it pod.com/questions we can leave us either a win or a question. We are looking forward to getting those from you so we can celebrate your wins on Fuck Yeah Friday, fuck yeah. Stick around. We'll be right back. We're gonna start chatting about Billy Lhar.Brad Crowell 14:46  All right, let's talk about Billy Lahr. Billy is the creator and host of the Mindful Midlife Crisis podcast and a Certified Mindfulness Meditation Teacher with a background in education and behavior change. He spent over two decades working in education, including Leadership roles before stepping away in 2021 since then, Billy's focused on coaching and consulting while living and working internationally. Definitely describes himself as a nomad. He also facilitates the Jump Start, Jump Start Conversation Series, a free weekly conversation space that's relaxed and collaborative, where coaches often join to connect with peers and share perspectives without the pressure of performing. We're gonna put the link for that in the signup notes below. So if you're interested in that, if that's something that you know you want, like a support group kind of vibe or just a hangout community, sesh, you know, go check that out.Lesley Logan 15:31  Yeah, I think this is really fun. I love that. He said he's not a fan of getting out of your comfort zone to grow. I think that's great. It's like— Brad Crowell 15:40  He said, fuck that. I've been working hard to get into my comfort zone.Lesley Logan 15:42  Yeah, I resonate with that. Because, like, so many of us are, like, trying to figure out who we are. And so, like, it's kind of hard to, like, figure who you are and then get out of your comfort zone if you don't who you are. And but he said to be cautious when we get into the complacency zone. Brad Crowell 15:56  Yeah, I thought that was a cool term—Lesley Logan 15:57  I think that's, I think that that's really, we see that happen all the time with people who teach Pilates, like, sometimes they just get like, they're just like, going through the motions. And, you know, they it's not that they lost their zest for it, but something kind of happened along the way. Maybe they were restricted in too many ways, and they're just like, okay, I'm just gonna do this. But there's no it's okay to be in your comfort zone. Just notice, if you're in your complacency zone, what a great thing. He also suggested, like expanding your life from within, rather than forcing yourself into discomfort from the outside. And I mean, I think, look, here's the deal. We do understand that, like diamonds are made from pressure, and stressing your bones is how you make healthy bones, and stressing your muscles is how you make healthy muscles, like all that stuff is very, very true, but I do think that some people are constant, like, like, they're constantly putting themselves into experiences that maybe is too much, that they're going like, you're doing too much working out, or you're doing too much stress on the bones, and so you're never actually reaping the rewards and the benefits of those things. And so he actually likened it to you you stretch your comfort zone, like pizza dough from the inside. Brad Crowell 17:04  Yeah, I thought that was really interesting. I like the vision, he said. He said, Only heathens pull your pizza dough. You have to press it from the middle. You got to press it from the inside to expand your pizza dough.Lesley Logan 17:14  Yeah, that's why. But I think that just goes—Brad Crowell 17:16  Before we got talking with pizza zone. I want to just define complacency zone, because, you know, comfort zone versus complacency zone, Comfort, he's his argument is that it's okay to be in your comfort zone, but you can get complacent once you get there. And I look, I was just thinking about it, it's like a stagnant place. It's where you're stuck, you know, and you're you're also, it's not just that you're stuck, but you're also, like, unwilling to change. You are resisting change, right? And you're relying on familiar, outdated routines. So, you know, I think that there's definitely a difference between being in the comfort zone and being in a complacency zone. But I do like this the analogy of, like, stretching like a pizza dough, you know?Lesley Logan 17:54  Yeah, I do too. Pilate is all about moving from your center outward. And I also think, like, sometimes people are easy to just go, Well, I'm just gonna change the outside. I'm gonna change from the outside in versus the inside out. Brad Crowell 18:05  Yeah. Yeah.Lesley Logan 18:06  Because a lot of the things you get marketed to are, like, outside, exterior, like, you know, what do you call it? Like external things or physical things? It's not necessarily like getting to know who you are. And so I think that there's something about, you know, it's not, I don't think he's advocating that you just like, sit around in your comfy couch and just like, chill out. But I do think it goes back to like, how we coach studios, like, we want your business to be a little boring, not that you're complacent, but that it's predictable, right? That that it's okay to be in a comfortable place with your business, that it's predictable in its seasons, you'll still have to keep learning. There'll still be new tools to know. There's still going to be things out there that are going to stress you in a different way, but you don't have to find new ways to challenge yourself and get outside your comfort zone all the time. You can. You can actually have some predictability there, as long as you're not complacent. I like it.Brad Crowell 18:53  Yeah. So, you know, when he was talking about pushing back against negative, this idea of being selfish, I was laughing so hard, because we've been talking about this for a long time, that self-care isn't selfish, and I really loved that we're not the only one talking about it. He said, there's not necessarily something wrong with being selfish if you've been overly selfless, right? Like, because I think we get into this, you two are really digging in, you know? And he's saying, you know, we, we think that when we're selfless, we're quote, unquote correct or right, and then when we are selfish, we're wrong, right. And what he was saying is, like, those are both actual extremes. Yeah, you know, what if we were grounded or self centered? Or, what if we focus about centered self, not like, in a negative way, but like, how do we— Lesley Logan 19:49  I know, so—Brad Crowell 19:50  How can we be both of those things instead of like, one or the other?Lesley Logan 19:53  I know, I think, like, because self centered has such a negative connotation, but like, a centered self is, like, whelmed, right? Like—Lesley Logan 19:59  Yeah. Lesley Logan 20:00  So if, like, selfless and self-ish are overwhelmed and underwhelmed, right, then centered self would be whelmed, right?Brad Crowell 20:07  It'd be right in the middle and and that allows you to protect yourself, you know, to put yourself first in some situations and then in others still, of course, you know, serve others, and that's good. But—Lesley Logan 20:20  We have, we have a series coming out about like, giving yourself permission to become whatever it is that you want to be. And there's actually, like, this term called the permission gap that I get into in the episode series that I created. And it's actually all because the way society is is it raises women to feel that they are selfish if they prioritize themselves first, yeah, and so they must care for everyone else's needs ahead of their own, and then they can care for themselves. But there's no time after doing all that—Brad Crowell 20:49  That's, that's just illogical. It's not sustainable. Lesley Logan 20:52  Right. Brad Crowell 20:53  What, what ends up happening is, you're burnt out? Lesley Logan 20:55  Yeah. Brad Crowell 20:55  Yeah. Brad Crowell 20:55  There's a reason why. Like, speaking of Healthcare Advocacy Day, there is a reason why you can actually pay for some way that your health insurance pays someone to take care of you, because it is impossible for someone, or most people, in your life, to take off of work to care for you. There's a reason why we have home health aides, right? Because we—Brad Crowell 21:15  Yeah.Lesley Logan 21:15  We do live in a world where like you can't just like care for other people all the time at the expense of your own self?Brad Crowell 21:22  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the that's the key. That's true. Well, you know, anyway, I just thought they were great topics. So stick around. We'll be right back. We got some really fun BE IT action items from Billy Lhar as well. So we'll be right back.Brad Crowell 21:36  Alright, so finally, let's talk about those BE IT action items, what bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your conversation with Billy Lhar. He said he rejects the standard social question of, like, what do you do? And I found this really intriguing, because I love that what do you do is an open ended question, and I'm always interested, I asked that's exactly the question that I ask, what do you do? Because what people how they respond to that question tells me a lot, because when they turn around and say, what do I do? I say, I sleep a lot, or I play video games or, you know, but what they're implying with the question is, what do you do for work? So that's kind of interesting to me, but I loved that he like, he's like, no, screw that. Because people always answer with what do they do for work, which is, is boring. And I thought that was—Lesley Logan 22:22  Not what I do for work, but, you know, but other people are boring. (Laughs)Brad Crowell 22:26  No, but he. here's the thing, effectively, he doesn't want to talk about what he does for work, because he said, he said, I was an English teacher. That's boring, you know. So, you know, what he started doing instead was asking people different questions, and he said they often were like, like shocking or eye opening, or like, whoa, you're we don't even know each other, and you're asking me this kind of question. And he said he the question he likes to leave with is, what are 10 roles that you play in your life, 10 roles that you play in your life, right?Lesley Logan 22:56  Yeah, yeah. I think I would make it three. I feel like I don't want to sit there long enough (inaudible)—Brad Crowell 23:01  First five are always the same. What are your 10 roles? I'm a daughter, I'm a sister, I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm a husband. Whatever. He said, It's always that crap. But then once they get through that crap, then they have to tell you something interesting about themselves. What like because they run out of they run out of the obvious things. So then they think about it, and then they have to tell you something. So that's, I think that might be part of why it's 10. He argues that a person's value and interest lie in the various roles that they play outside of those standard things. Like, I'm a paddle boarder. I'm this, I'm a, you know, like, I'm a, I'm a long haul driver for when we go on tour. I'm a I sit behind a booth. I'm a boother. (Laughs)Lesley Logan 23:44  (Laughs)Brad Crowell 23:47  Just making shit up here. He said, he said, also, you know, it helps, because you're not just one thing in your life, and so it like battles complacency when you're when, when you're engaging people on these other things that they're excited about. So—Lesley Logan 24:02  Yeah, I think that's cool, I guess, I guess you're right. You have to go to 10. That's just a big question. If I don't know if I want to talk to that person for that long. Brad Crowell 24:10  Yeah, I feel like that makes sense.Lesley Logan 24:11  He's clearly interested in people, and I'm like, I you know, we can go. Brad Crowell 24:15  What about you? Lesley Logan 24:16  I, okay, so he said, follow your passion is complete and utter nonsense. Brad Crowell 24:21  (Laughs)Lesley Logan 24:21  I think this is so funny. Brad Crowell 24:23  I liked his logic here. I thought this was pretty awesome actually. Lesley Logan 24:26  He said, and I think this is helpful, because, like, people are always like, what am I passionate about? Like, what's my hobby? Like this—Brad Crowell 24:31  Yeah, what should I do? Lesley Logan 24:32  What should I do for like, passion is not a starting point. Passion is a byproduct of this formula. Step one, figure out what you are good at and your strengths. So we have had many a strength finder type coach on here. Oh yeah, so you can go talk to any of them. They are so many. From day one of this podcast, there's been so many. And then he said, jumps he has— Brad Crowell 24:54  He's got a workbook. Lesley Logan 24:54  He's a workhouse, workbook called Jump Start Your Midlife Workbook, and you could take that. So that's part of step one. Got to figure out what you're good at, what are your strengths? Step two, what are you curious about, and how can you leverage those skills and those strengths to learn more? So there's a Venn diagram I'm imagining. This is how I picture it, your skills, your strengths, and what you're curious about. And then dude in the middle, there's like you. And then you take that to find a community. So find people you can connect with, and they'll help you. That will help you identify your purpose. Because even if you don't like them, you'll go, I don't like that. That's not my purpose. And then in then, if you want to turn that purpose into a passion, you just multiply that by consistency, discipline, patience and self-compassion. So then you you put, you know, fuel to that fire.Brad Crowell 25:38  Yeah, and I think that he emphasized the last two and that the patience and self-compassion— Lesley Logan 25:45  Oh yeah. Brad Crowell 25:45  So like when you want to turn something that you're good at into your passion, he said, you need to multiply it by consistency, discipline, patience and self-compassion. And he said, most people, we've all heard you know consistency, persistent and consistent, be persistent and consistent, you know, which, which obviously also means discipline. But he said, we always skip the patience and self-compassion part of it. Lesley Logan 26:10  Yeah.Brad Crowell 26:11  Because you're gonna fail and it's also not gonna happen overnight, whatever it might be. Lesley Logan 26:15  Yep.Brad Crowell 26:15  You know.Lesley Logan 26:16  Yep. I agree. I think radical self-compassion is important.Brad Crowell 26:21  Radical self-compassion.Lesley Logan 26:22  Yes. Brad Crowell 26:23  I dig it.Lesley Logan 26:23  Yes. Just like radical responsibility. That's my right, my favorite phrase right now, I want more people to take it. Um, you guys, I'm Lesley Logan and I'm Brad Crowell. This sinus infection will pass and, but not on next week's episode. So just a heads up. We got one more and, but we're working on it. You know we are, and I appreciate your patience and the self-compassion I'm having for myself and the compassion you're having for me. Send his episode, or this one to a friend who needs to hear it. Send your be it pod wins and and your questions into beitpod.com What does it beitpod.com/questions Yeah. Send them there. And until next time, be it till you see it. Brad Crowell 26:56  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 26:58  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 27:40  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 27:45  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 27:49  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 27:57  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 28:00  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.  Brad Crowell 28:13  All right, let's talk about Billy Lhar. Billy is the creator and host of the Mindfulness, Mindful Midknife (inaudible).Lesley Logan 28:18  (Laughs)Brad Crowell 28:18  (Inaudible). Starting over.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Forget the cliché advice to "get out" of your comfort zone; digital nomad Billy Lahr reveals why you should actually be working harder to get into it. In this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast, mindfulness coach and former dean joins Lesley Logan to challenge the "hustle culture" obsession with escaping comfort, arguing instead that we must distinguish it from the "complacency zone" by expanding our capacity from the inside out, much like stretching a pizza dough. Billy brings a refreshing, no-nonsense perspective on identity, curiosity, and the importance of maintaining a "centered self."   If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Master the art of curiosity to build deeper human connections. Differentiate between a healthy comfort zone and dangerous complacency. Reclaim your personal identity by identifying your ten life roles.Use mindfulness as a practical tool to manage high-intensity anxiety. Turn your unique strengths into a sustainable and purposeful life.Episode References/Links:Mindful Midlife Crisis - https://www.mindfulmidlifecrisis.comBilly Lahr Official Website - https://billylahr.comBilly Lahr Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mindful_midlife_crisisJumpstart Conversation - https://beitpod.com/billylahrjumpstartconvoJumpstart Your Midlife Workbook - https://www.mindfulmidlifecrisis.comThe Selfish Woman Podcast - https://valeriejones.ca/podcastEd Latimore - https://edlatimore.comYoga Ananda Chiang Mai - https://www.yogaananda.net/about-kru-nokGen X Jukebox - https://www.genxjukebox.comGuest Bio:Billy Lahr is certified mindfulness meditation coach, certified personal trainer, behavior change specialist, former educator, serial overthinker, and host of The Mindful Midlife Crisis, a podcast for people navigating the complexities and possibilities of life's second half. In 2013, Billy started practicing mindfulness as a way to manage mounting mental health issues brought on by professional burnout, social media harassment from students, and a lack of job satisfaction. In 2021, Billy left his job as dean of students in order to travel the world in search of more meaningful experiences and community. Since then, he's been a GPS for individuals aiming to live more mindfully and intentionally through recognizing and harnessing their strengths, exploring their curiosities, growing and synergizing with their network by fostering consistency, discipline, patience, and self-compassion. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Billy Lahr 0:00  I'll tell you that the conversations that I've had with digital nomads is that being a nomad is incredibly lonely and isolating, because what you're doing is a lot of times, because it's such a transient community, is you're building these superficial relationships and people come and go out of your life. And I can tell you, just from my own personal experience, that a lot of that has exacerbated this feeling of isolation and loneliness and this longing for a deeper connection.Lesley Logan 0:31  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:13  All right, Be It babe. I'm really stoked for today's episode we had, I have the most fun talking to Billy Lahr as our guest, and it was really funny. We didn't talk about what he does until halfway through the podcast. And I don't want to ruin it. I don't want to spoil it for you, but we actually talked about comfort zones, and should you stay in them? Should you get out of them? And a whole lot more insights and I just think it's really fun. We talk about curiosity. And so I think you're just going to enjoy all of this. Oh, and the Be It Action Items at the end, fucking fabulous. You'll love them. So here you go. Here's Billy Lahr.Lesley Logan 1:45  All right, Be It babe. I'm super excited we have a total, like, true digital nomad as our guest today. Billy Lahr is here, and I kind of am obsessed. Because before I bought a house, and, like, settled in and like, loved being at home, my husband and I used to be nomads. Someone thought like we'll just be nomadic people. So we just dabble in it. But you do it full time. Can you tell us what you rock at and why you why you're a digital nomad?Billy Lahr 2:11  I rock at curiosity. I would say that's my superpower. I like to ask questions. I never, ever, whenever I meet people, I never asked the question, what do you do? That's the most boring question in the world. And there's a couple of reasons why I don't ask that. I actually got that tip from past guests on my podcast named Jesse Ross, and the way I look at it is, what you do, one, is usually the least interesting thing about you, like I taught, I taught English for 21 years. Everyone had one of me. Everyone knows what I did. So that's it's not fun for me to talk about that. Secondly, people generally don't like to talk about work outside of work unless they're super involved and they love what they do. Most people do what they do because it pays the bills. And there's nothing wrong with that. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, and we'll come back to that a little bit later. But the third reason is, I think people over identify with their roles, their jobs. I live in Korea now, and I see that a lot, there is a pressure to have a certain status. And I feel like whenever you talk to people about what do you do, you can feel them recoil because they don't want to talk about it. So the first question I always ask all of my guests is, what are 10 roles that you play in your life? To me, that's a more interesting question. Now, the first four or five answers are always something familial. You know, for me, I'm a brother, I'm a son, I'm an uncle. Those things come like that. Then when you get into those later examples, you have to dig deep into what roles you actually play. So for me, digital nomad, Pearl Jam fanatic. I've seen Pearl Jam 54 times in nine states. I'm an avid paddle boarder. I've paddle boarded off five continent coasts. So those are the kind of things that are interesting and lead to better conversation. And because of my curiosity, I'm able to kind of wiggle my way through the mundane to get to those types of conversations.Lesley Logan 4:32  Yeah. I mean, I think, like, first of all, you're not wrong there. I go to a lot of parties, and of course, like, people are asking, what do you do? And this for me, most of the time, when people do ask me that I'm on a plane going somewhere and I and I'm like, well, it's gonna be really weird when I tell you what I actually do, because you're like, then why are you going to where you're going? That doesn't make sense. So it can be interesting and weird, but also, like not many people want to talk about their job, like you said, or it's like, it is the least interesting thing about them, or it's it is something that pays the bills. And so there are other things, but they're never asked that questions. They don't even know how to describe themselves or talk about themselves. And the fact that you're curious must mean that you meet cooler versions of people, like we can meet the same people, but because you can be more curious than me, you're gonna meet a version of them that, like I might have, like, missed because I asked the wrong question, or I didn't ask or not even the wrong question. I just asked a better question.Billy Lahr 5:27  My general rule when I talk to people, and this is going to sound a bit arrogant, but whatever. My general rule is, you need to be at least as interesting as I am, because I've lived a pretty interesting life, and if you have nothing to contribute, then, like, what value do you have for me in the conversation? So I'm going to dig around. I'm going to ask questions that maybe the normal person isn't going to ask. I had this situation pop up the other week, and there were two women who are like, I can't believe you just asked that. And I'm like, listen, if you don't ask, then you don't get the answers. So my dad always told me ask the worst anyone could ever say is no. So I ask, and those lead to better conversations.Lesley Logan 6:15  Yeah, yeah. I think, I mean, it is true, like I was taught that as well. It's like, if you don't ask, you got to know, and so you may as well ask, because if you get a no, then you know, and you can go find another way, but you could get a yes, and then it's like, oh my god, like you could get that. So I I completely agree. And I also think, like, you know, a lot of people are feeling lonely these days. I have to imagine, like, traveling the world if you're curious, you're never lonely, because you're always finding ways to talk to people and, like, get to know them. But people are lonely and they don't travel and they're surrounded by people, but I think it's because they're they're not getting to a deeper version of a person that they're talking to. So everything has surfaced all of the time.Billy Lahr 6:56  I'll tell you that the conversations that I've had with digital nomads is that being a nomad is incredibly lonely and isolating, because what you're doing is a lot of times, because it's such a transient community, is you're building these superficial relationships and people come and go out of your life. And I can tell you, just from my own personal experience, that a lot of that has exacerbated this feeling of isolation and loneliness and this longing for a deeper connection. It's very hard to maintain romantic relationships when you're on the move like this. So there is a part of me that does desire to just be in one spot. I'm someone who craves stability. I'm someone who craves structure. I crave routine. That's where I thrive. I used to work in education. Bells told me when to start and stop my day. So this is a huge leap, and I'm not not a fan of this idea of get out of your comfort zone. Shut up. I've been working really hard to get into my comfort zone. Let me sit in my comfort zone, but where I tell people to be cautious of is when we start to get into the complacency zone. So when things start to feel complacent, that's when we need to stretch our comfort zone like it's pizza dough. And you don't pull pizza dough from the outside. Only heathens do that. You push pizza dough from the inside, and where you see it's thin, you put some flour, you put a little bit more dough, and you massage that in there, and you stretch out that pizza dough. If someone tells you to get out of their comfort zone, I don't know if we can swear on here, you can just tell them, you know, shut the fuck up. I'm good in my comfort zone, but you need to take a look at, am I in my comfort zone, or am I, am I in my complacency zone? Right now, I'm definitely stretching my pizza dough because I was working a full time job. Now I'm back to freelance, and things are a bit more, you know, unstable. So, you know, I'm I'm trying to build some things, I'm trying to rebrand some things, and it all takes a lot of hard work, and there's a lot of uncertainty in there. And listen uncertainty as a very anxious person, as a very high intensity person, uncertainty does not sit well with me. So I'm very much navigating through all of this.Lesley Logan 9:31  This is so interesting. You are an enigma. But okay, first of all, I actually agree. I think there's something about getting out of your comfort zone all the time that the overachiever is listening to, that's the causing burnout, and it's causing extra stress. It's like, my if you're a high achiever, you're rocking it. That just means you like big things and you're doing those things, the overachievers, that's when you're like, I got to get outside of my comfort zone. It's like, but you haven't like you just said, I want to try to get in my comfort zone. It's like, that's interesting. How often have I just, like, sat still and, like, enjoyed the comfort that I created, you know, like, but do you mind? Can we dive into the complacency zone? Like, when you say that, like, the signs and symptoms you're in a complacency zone, the what, what came to mind is, like, you complain about the comfort zone. You kind of come like, you kind of complain about your, oh, the things in your life, or the things around your life, like that might be, to me, a sign, or sometimes you're in complacency, like you're good at what you do when you're still complaining about it. Is that one like, what are some signs that you're in complacency?Billy Lahr 10:30  That's a great question. So here's a perfect example, when I have new clients when so I was teaching business English here in Korea, so I wasn't teaching at a hagwon with elementary school kids. I've done with public education in that regard, I want to work with adults. So I was working at Hyundai and Kia and teaching their employees Business English. And so when I first meet them, I want to know, hey, what are your hobbies? And a lot of them will say, especially if they're parents, especially if they're new parents, my hobby is my child. Ding, ding, ding, complacency zone. So listen, let me, let me preface this by saying I'm not a parent, so I don't know what it's like to have a child. I don't know what it's like to sacrifice those things. What I do know is that my parents still did things despite having three kids. My dad sang in an all men's choir. Both my mom and my dad played softball throughout the week. They did things that still interested them so that they could socialize with people. So I think especially here, there is this emphasis on making sure that your child grows up and has a more successful future than what you have. And what I notice is that there's a lot of snowplow parents, we'll call them. Lesley Logan 12:00  Yeah, we have them in the States. Billy Lahr 12:02  Yeah, yeah. So I feel like when that happens, you lose your sense of identity again. We come back to this idea of identity, yeah. So where can you find identity? And it's through curiosity. And remember, it's you're not just one identity. You're playing many roles. So if you take a look at those 10 roles, and if you can't come up with 10 roles, that's another perfect example of, hey, maybe you're in this complacency zone. When was the last time you participated in one of those roles? Are all of these roles about someone else, because if they are, you're losing that sense of identity. So how do you go out and explore those? Easier said than done but that comes, that comes from self-awareness. It comes from sitting with your thoughts, your feelings and your emotions, sitting with what you want, and coming to a realization that, okay, I feel like, you know, we talk about being selfish and we talk about being selfless. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with being selfish if you've been overly selfless. So in the middle, you know, we talk about self-centered Well, what about centered self? That's ultimately where we want to be and when we want to be a centered self, it means that we need to be able to provide for others while also providing for ourself. Lesley Logan 13:34  Yeah, I agree, like we've talked on this podcast before, how I think selfish has to do a rebrand, because, like, very rarely have I experienced the people that I have talked to, the stories that I've heard, or the listeners that we have actually being selfish assholes, like most of the time when they think they're being selfish, they're just prioritizing their self. Billy Lahr 13:54  I want to direct everybody to Valerie Jones. Valerie Jones has a podcast called The Selfish Woman. She was a guest on the mindful midlife crisis. I think it's episode 57. Valerie is great, and she's done this excellent job of rebranding this idea of what it means to be selfish. So check that out.Lesley Logan 14:14  Yeah, okay, I might want an intro to her, because, like. Billy Lahr 14:17  You have to she's great. Lesley Logan 14:18  Done. We're doing it after this. Okay. Because, like, but I think like the centered self also, like I do, I do love that you challenge people who who are, who are parents, as a role, that if they don't have something outside of their kids, it, it doesn't actually help your kiddo out. Like we have seen these kids get older. We now have the Gen Z kids and these kids, and they haven't experienced disappointment, they haven't experienced a loss. They have it at a young age, because you just snow plowed all of it for them. And so now they're 20 something years old, and they're learning for the first time what it's like to fail at something that is a hard thing to do, that's hard. You got to learn it when you're younger. So I'm with you.Billy Lahr 14:57  And here's the I know people are like dude, you don't have kids. Mind your business. Okay. Let me give you another example. My former co host, Brian on the Bass. We call him Brian on the Bass because he plays bass in every band in the Twin Cities in Minnesota. He decided to, like I said, he's been playing bass in all of these bands. He records here and there. He developed. He he branded this new band called Gen X Jukebox. This is a guy who has three boys, boys, just or sharknadoes spinning around his house. They had a whoopsie. All right, they had a bonus baby. Sorry, they had a bonus baby when they were in their 40s, but he's still doing all of these things. They bought a bus and they turned it into a schooly, it's something that he and his wife did together. So listen, if you're listening to me and you're like, you childless, you childless piece of shit, you don't know what you're talking about. Okay, fine, fine, fine. Who are the other examples out there who are fulfilling these these roles, and take a look at your own and just say, Okay, what are things that I used to do that I don't do anymore? Or what am I curious about today that I want to learn more of?Lesley Logan 16:16  Yeah, I think that's so true. And I, for people, been listening to this podcast for a really long time, like the first three years of the podcast, I was like, I'm on a hobby hunt. And then people like you don't have hobby like you have so many hobbies. I'm like, No, I have a lot of hobbies that turned into pay. Like I got paid to do them, and the moment I'm getting paid to do them, I don't feel them as a hobby anymore. It's now a job. And I love what I do. I have no complaints. I love all of the aspects of my job, because I get to decide if I don't want to do them anymore, but I want to find a hobby, and I recently found one in the last year. And people are like, Oh, well, because I'm like, way up in Tarot right now. So however people feel about that, I don't care. I love it. I'm having the best time. And people like, Oh, are you gonna do a reading for me? And I was like, No, it's my fucking hobby. You can get your own reading. Go pay someone like, so I find that, like, it's really easy for people to, like, start doing something, and then people go, Oh, then you could do it for me. And it's like, I do find things that you could be curious about and, and I don't care if people want you to do it for them. You don't have to full permission from the pod permit. You get to just like, be curious about them and let them be with their or you can also change your mind. I do think that's another thing people have to realize. Like, you could be go, oh, I used to love to snowboard. And then you can go and go, Oh, I hate it now. That's fine. You can just don't worry about the sunk cost. Billy, you've mentioned your dad a couple of times, and I know that, like your dad had said something to you when you were a teacher, like, do you mind? Can we dive into that? And like, how that has shaped where you are today?Billy Lahr 17:42  Yeah, yeah. So, you know, my dad is a character. He's like Rodney Dangerfield in every movie. He's got the sexual innuendos. But you know, everybody knows who he is. Everybody calls him uncle D. So you know that this is just kind of guy that my dad is, but I remember him, my dad. He's a he's a farmer, he's a tinkerer, he he is a natural salesman. This guy is a renaissance man, and I think there's a small part of him, and he'll never admit this, that's maybe a little disappointed that I didn't get into, you know, being the the farm kid, or being the hunter or that sort of stuff. And instead, I got into I played sports, and I really got into books, and I got into writing. So I became an English teacher and and I remember one time he said to me, I hope you're a good English teacher, because you will starve if you have to do anything else. And he said it with love. He said it with love. He said it jokingly. But this is that's kind of what I've been figuring out here the last four years, because I left education in 2021 and I've been trying to figure out, okay, what is it that I'm good at that I can monetize? Is because there are and by monetize is being get paid for, right? Lesley Logan 19:05  Yeah, well, because the world we requires us to pay bills and so we have to figure a way to monetize something that we're willing to do for many hours of a week yeah. Billy Lahr 19:14  Yeah. And I think that's, you know, I've been, I've been figuring that out the last four years now I feel very, very lucky, very privileged, that one thing that he taught me was how to save and how to invest. So I've been able to travel around here the last four years with the money that I've saved, with the money that I've invested. I took this last year to work in Korea full time, because, like I said, I needed that stability, I needed that structure, I needed that routine. So in all of that, I've been experimenting. My wonderful friend Jill Daler talks about using the world as her laboratory and just seeing what works. And listen, lot of things have failed that I've done the last few years, and I think a big part of that is because I don't know how to market myself, and I don't want to play the algorithm game, because I grew up in the 90s, and the biggest sin in the 90s was selling out.Lesley Logan 20:20  Oh yeah, okay, so what? You're a little older than me, I think, but I do recall, you know, hearing people.Billy Lahr 20:26  I told you, Pearl Jam is my favorite band all those Seattle grunge bands. What did they teach us? They taught us don't sell out. Selling out is the greatest sin of it all, and this idea of marketing and playing the algorithm game and using clickbaity titles, it's so vomitus to me, and it feels disingenuous to who I am as a creative spirit. But then there are a lot of starving artists out there, so as I'm going through this rebrand, I'm thinking to myself, listen, maybe you need to play the game, because the last time I saw Pearl Jam, you want to know who was sponsoring the show, Amazon Music. Okay, so if Pearl Jam can come around to, you know, corporate, corporate suggestion, corporate support, then, then maybe I can play the game too, because, you know, who am I to Pearl Jam? Lesley Logan 21:22  But also, and here's the thing, like, I completely agree with that on a I own, on my own way, and that, like, the way that I could have had more followers, more subscribers on YouTube much sooner, given the industry I am, is to just be a little bit skinnier and make sure that I only work out in a tiny sports bra and tiny shorts. And like everything is about abs and glutes, abs and glutes, abs and glutes, and it's like, but that's not the way I teach. That's not the Pilates I teach. I actually am extremely like conscious that people just feel good in their body, that they don't think that fitness actually is how you lose weight, because it's not, it's how you eat and hormones and all that stuff, sleep, water and all these different things. However, 10 years into my YouTube channel, I just have 40,000 subscribers, and my friends have millions. So what I had to figure out is like, How can I understand what the titles have to be, and then be fucking honest with people in the video? So can you lose weight with Pilates? Is not like or like Pilates and weight loss like something that'd be so clickbait against me. It's like, okay, so let's talk about what real, actual weight loss is, if you how do you know you need it? And if Pilates can do it. And so I had to find a way to like, Okay, how do I digest the click bait? But then be honest and authentic. Because the other reality is, is like, No, you said starving artists, but like the impact that you and I want to make on this world, no one hears about it if it doesn't get put in front of their face and so and so you either have time or you have money. And the thing about the algorithms is you can have no dollars, but get your message out there. That's not something we could do in the 90s. Pearl Jam would have to pay for ad space and radio space and all this stuff. So I do feel like there is some swallowing of of some of it to go. Okay, well, what can I live with? Like, what's my value process there? And it has helped me immensely, because while I still don't have millions of subscribers, all the ones I do have, I got organically, and they actually like the message I have, you know, and even if they didn't subscribe, it at least got the truth, and then they can go do with what they want, you know. So that it's an interesting thing, but it is hard, because I fucking hate the game of the algorithms. I think it's annoying. It's frustrating, but also people are overwhelmed and exhausted and in complacency, and so how do we get them out? I don't know.Billy Lahr 23:38  Yeah, yeah, it's funny. It just dawned on me that I haven't talked about, like, what service I provide and and I think this is gonna be funny. This is gonna be funny now, if people have listened to me throughout this and they're like, this guy's kind of a spaz, that's why I'm a certified mindfulness meditation teacher.Lesley Logan 24:01  Well, your message, your message.Billy Lahr 24:03  Right, right. So what I tell people because people will tell me, like, you're pretty intense for you a meditation teacher, yes, I practice mindfulness so that I can be this obnoxious, because if I wasn't, I'd be a complete and total asshole. So I practiced it so that I can stay here in this area, because when I wasn't practicing, then I was very anxious, and that was manifesting in the depression, and that was manifesting in some other darker thoughts. So this brand of mindfulness that I share, it isn't it isn't granola. It is, it is, it's, it's more just like, hey, here's what we need to do. I'm not going to tell you to follow your passions. I'm not going to tell you that everything happens for a reason, because I don't believe in those things. But here's what I do think is practical, and here's an easy first step. And that, then, in turn, allows me to be genuine. And I like what you said there, like, yeah, we can have a clickbaity title as long as the content within the video is genuine and it's and it's authentic to who we are. When you listen to my meditations, I can be very can go into that meditation voice, and I can be very soothing, and I know that's what that audience needs, if they click on that meditation but if they're listening to an interview, you're going to get me at high energy, because I love being behind a microphone. That's why, like, I found ways to emcee events here in Seoul, just by, you know, you talk about, see it till you be it like or be it till, which one is it? Lesley Logan 25:50  I like the way you said it, I think it's great. Billy Lahr 25:52  No, no, because I actually wrote about this in one of my newsletters, because once your team reached out to me, I was like, see it till you, be it, does that make more sense? But then you were talking about, be it till you see it. And I was, I was volunteering as my volunteering with my services as an emcee for these live music events around here, not getting paid for it, but not expecting to. I was just doing it because it was fun. And then over time, the band that I was emceeing for, they're a band called The Johnny Birds. You can check them out on Spotify. Please do people. They were like, hey, every time you emcee, people donate more money, so we want to include you in on that. And I was like, oh, whoa. Like, I did not expect that, but it was so generous and thoughtful of them to be like, no, you're part of this band. It as part of the live show to some degree. So we want to make sure that we show our appreciation. And that was just me being it, yeah, and then all of a sudden, you know, I saw the money.Lesley Logan 27:04  I so first of all, I pretty sure you, you did write a newsletter, and you sent it to my team, and I got it, and I was like, this is so cool. I haven't met the person yet. Look at the impact we're having. I really love that, because I love that story, because I do think so many people are, like, waiting for it to be all figured out and figuring out how much do I charge for this, and what's the process? And it's like, but that has never been how anything has happened for me. Everything has happened by like, acting like I have an idea of what the fuck I'm doing, even if I don't doing the best I can, and then, like, seeing what happens, and all of a sudden it's like, oh, I'm four steps up the stairwell already, like it just happened, and then other people see it, and then see you do it, and they're inspired by that. And then they're like, Oh, you must know what you're doing. I'm gonna hire you for this thing, or whatever it is. And so I think a lot of people are waiting until they have their business card ready and they practice in front of the mirror. So I love that story so much, and I think it's really cool. And also, you have an innate thing, and we talked about this before, but like, you are a really good cheerleader for other people. You have a really good and that kind of goes back to, like, you have a hard kind of time. It's not selling out, but like, marketing yourself, as you said, because, like, you almost are like, the backup babe for so many people. You're like, ready to launch all their stuff.Billy Lahr 28:19  Oh yeah, give me the pompoms, man. I'll be the cheerleader. I'll be the cheerleader if you're doing good things, I'll absolutely be the cheerleader for you. And that's, I think that's where I went wrong with my own podcast, because I started off by giving people a platform to share their experiences and expertise, and I was having these really fascinating conversations. And then I started working with a podcast business coach, and bless his heart, he's he's a really great dude, but we didn't share the same vision. My vision was to give people a platform to share their experiences and expertise to my listeners, so that, and I just wanted to have those conversations with really fascinating people. And his idea was, well, hey, the only way that you're going to make money is if you market your coaching services. So it went completely and I hate sales. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them. I don't have my dad's sales acumen. It's I just would rather talk to other people and celebrate other people. And, you know, I feel like, you know, then people are like, oh, you know you're really good at the interview part. Oh, thank you. Like, that feeds my, my need for words of affirmations, like, You're really good. I'll tell you that I had Ed Latimore on my podcast. And Ed does thousands of podcasts in his lifetime. He's an author. People, check out Ed Latimore. He's got a book now called. Lesley Logan 29:53  You're doing it right now, Billy, you are promoting someone else. Billy Lahr 29:57  He said and here's the I've never met Ed in person, I've only met him through Zoom, but he's a really fascinating dude. And when we got done, he said, You know what? You're really good at this. And it kind of caught me by surprise, because Ed, Ed grew up like in the mean streets of Philadelphia, and, like, he was a professional boxer, you know, he literally doesn't pull punches, so he tells it like how he sees it. And that, to me, was one of the nicest compliments I've ever received. And I said, that means a lot to me, because I feel like you've done a lot of these. And he said, I have done a lot of these and and you're really good at this. And that, to me, again, goes back to the be it till you see it like I was just, I'm just asking questions. I'm doing the research and and asking questions. I hate when people send me their media flyers and like you can ask these questions. Guess what? That's a guarantee I'm not going to ask any of those questions, because then you have canned responses. I'm going to go and listen to the podcast that you did on other shows, and I'm going to write down all of the follow up questions that I think that the host should have asked you. I'm going to go to your website and I'm going to ask you specific things about your website. I'm going to read your book, and I'm going to ask you things that stand out to me in your book, because that's where real conversation comes. It doesn't come from these canned questions. And like the more that we understand other people, the more curious we are, and the more you know, harmonious of a society we can be.Lesley Logan 31:36  I think it goes back to like being you're a mindfulness coach like you being curious about other people and them being able to, like, hear that conversation requires mindfulness, because it requires them to be aware of any of the fucking things that they actually do in their life. Like, it's like, I think a lot of people go through the day, and so it actually doesn't surprise me that that's what you coach on. And also like, why you're a curious person. To me, they kind of go hand in hand. I also like, look, because we we coach Pilates instructors who are like, I just want to teach, you know, because I love what I do. And I'm like, the IRS doesn't care that you love what you do. If you have a business, they are going to audit you if you haven't paid taxes a couple years like they expect. They're going to give you a couple years to fuck around, and then they're going to expect their money. So I love that, and also I have to make sure that you, like, can pay your bills. So I appreciate your coach going. I want you to make your night, but there are so many different ways to make money around things. And you know you being until you see it in the beginning is a perfect way to, like, kick off your podcast and figure it out, because I don't think there's one way to make money with podcasts. I think there's a billion ways, and you'll find the one that works for you. And you don't have to be an actual, like, quote, unquote salesperson to do it. So I see it happening, and it probably already has, because you're still doing why would you podcast if it wasn't working for you? Billy Lahr 32:56  I'll be honest, I hauled I put a pause on the podcast back in March because it, it was, it was, like, in a toxic relationship, because, like, I couldn't quit it. I was, you know, I would, I would pause, and then I would keep going back to it, and I would pause, and I keep going back to it, and I pause it, and I haven't recorded in a while, and I don't have any intention of going back to recording it at this time, if things were to change then, then I would maybe, maybe this rebranding, you know, blows up. Then it's like, oh, okay, now I can go back to doing this, but I don't miss it, but at the same time, I feel really good about what we created. Like, we recorded over 100 episodes, and most of those were episodes with guests. And I'm really proud to look at that guest list and be like, Okay, we were 50-50, with men and women. We, you know, we were when it was, when it was me and Brian on the Bass, you know, it was two straight white guys, right? But we had a very diverse collection of people from the LGBT community, people of color, like, you know, we really sought out or, like, it was my show, I sought out people and different voices. And I think that that that's really important, because we need to get out of that, of that silo of what we see in here, and I think that's another sign, too, of complacency, if we go back to that, that if you're looking at and you're getting the same messages, whether, whether it's MSNBC, whether it's Fox News or whatnot, not even a news channel, if it's just the same messages over and over and over again, who's challenging that, and in then, in what way are you being curious?Lesley Logan 34:48  Yeah, yeah. I think, I think that's really true. I think a lot of people, they well, it's hard when your thoughts are challenged. It's much easier to just go, oh no, everyone around me thinks this way, and it's definitely challenging. I have family members that we have conversations, and I can tell what they're listening to, and I'm like, What are you like? What? Okay, let's for example, it was just Halloween. Here we're recording this, and I had someone tell me, Oh, this. They are this tool where you can easily see if there's drugs in the kids candy. And I said, I'm so sorry. I just have to ask, who the fuck is putting drugs in the candy? Who is doing this? People do. No one does. How would that kid get hooked on that drug and know which house it came from? It isn't a bag. Drugs are very expensive. No drug dealer is just giving drugs out for free in hopes that he hooks these children on drugs and then they'll then come looking for said drugs. Like, they wouldn't even know what drug they had to go buy it. They wouldn't even know what high they're on. This makes zero sense to me. I cannot participate in this fear mongering bullshit. I'm like, you have to like, you don't have to like, just go think about it. But no, every Halloween I have to hear it, there's probably drugs or needles. There's needles. I'm like, you can Google, are there needles in kids candy? And it will say no,Billy Lahr 36:06  it happened once. So it must happen all the time.Lesley Logan 36:08  Happens all the time. There are people like, what are so anyways, I but I do think people don't want to challenge their thoughts, because we're because there is something comfortable about being complacent, you know. So I think it requires people to be ready to be challenged in that way and want something different. I think it's also really cool. You know, it's not easy to start or stop anything like some people can don't get started. Some people get started, but they never stop. And podcasts, y'all are hungry babies. My YouTube channel is a hungry baby, and it never grows up. It will never, it'll never produce its own content. It will always require people me to show up and be present, people to want to be on this podcast, people to listen to the podcast. It will always require those things. And so it's pretty like, it's a pretty challenging thing to make a decision like that, and then, like, figure out what you want to do from it. So I don't know. I think it's cool, you know, what you're doing, what you're exploring. I would love to know, what are you like, are you excited about anything right now? Do you have a new country on your plate? Like, what's coming up next for you, Billy?Billy Lahr 37:09  Yeah, so I'm current, like I said, I'm in I'm in Seoul right now, but I am heading to Kota Kinabalu in Malaysia. I have yet to be to Malaysia, and then I'm gonna go to Kuala Lumpur. Kuala Lumpur was on my original list four years ago, and then it just kind of fell to the wayside. So going there, and then I'm going back to Chiangmai, because I love Chiangmai. You know, if you're Pilates, you probably have a lot of people who are like yogis, that travel around, so come to Chiangmai, and if you're in Chiangmai in January and mid February, let's go take a class together at Yoga Ananda. Because Kru Nok is the single greatest yoga teacher in the history of yoga teachers. She has this presence about her, like it's, I'm almost like a teenage girl outside of TRL on Backstreet Boy day every time she walks into the room, because I'm just like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. And it's not she's strikingly beautiful, of course, but it's her presence, and it's the way that she leads the class where I'm just like it, I'm just so impressed with with just the way that she instructs and the way that she adjusts, and it's really impressive. So yogi's out there.Lesley Logan 38:31  How natural, I have to follow up with you because we do like Chiangmai. We were just there last a year ago, and we were there after the floods. And it's, it's a beautiful, beautiful place. We were in Chiang Rai before that, and I kind of like Chiangrai, but my husband Chiangrai, but my husband really liked Chiang Mai, so I feel like we'll probably be back in Chiangmai, but that's cool.Billy Lahr 38:47  Yeah, but then I'll be back, I'll be back in the States, in case anybody is like, you know, I actually want to, I want to, I want to meet this guy, or I want to be in the same time zone as this guy. I'll be back in the States in April, because my niece is getting married in May. If she wasn't getting married, I would have no intentions of coming back to the States. But, yeah, you know, I suppose I should be there for that I should be the funcle.Lesley Logan 39:07  Also, also, it'll be it's always good to, like, step back into the place that you came from just to kind of see how far you've gone. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's easy. It's an easier way to look in the rear view mirror. We're gonna take a brief break and find out how more people can find you online, instead of running into in Chiangmai and your Be It Action Items. Lesley Logan 39:28  All right, Billy, where, so you're a mindfulness coach. Where can they connect with you, meet you, work with you on Zoom. What do you got?Billy Lahr 39:35  Yeah, if you want more from the podcast, you can go to www.mindfulmidlifecrisis.com and you can sign up for the Jumpstart Your Midlife Workbook, and you'll be part of my newsletter too. That way, you can hear all all the times that I talk about Lesley's show, and you can find out where I go. I talk about my travels in there as well. I kind of give recaps of life lessons from the past episodes in that newsletter as well. If you're curious about what I do, you can go to www.billylahr.com it's L-A-H-R. If you want to check that out, I have a YouTube you can check out those. And I'm rebranding all those, so they're gonna be all sort of clickbaity titles. In case you don't like my esoteric titles that I've been using in the past. You can follow me on Instagram, mindful_midlife_crisis and you can follow me on LinkedIn, Billy Lahr, yeah, come check me out. Say hi. Let me know if there were any takeaways from this episode, things that I said that you were like, oh, I really like that, or things that I said where you're like, dude, you're full of shit. Let's talk about it. Lesley Logan 40:42  I think that both are great, though both has strike wonderful, curious conversations. I also want to say, way to go, way to promote all the things look at you. Look at you, Billy.Billy Lahr 40:52  I mean, I invested in that stuff. I might as well, yes, I might as well talk about them. So, yeah, absolutelyLesley Logan 40:59  Okay, you've actually given us some great stuff, but we always do the always do the the I totally listen, but I still want action steps at the end, be it, bold, executable, intrinsic or targets that people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us? Billy Lahr 41:11  Yeah. So the first thing that I tell people is to figure out what are your strengths, right? So this whole idea we talked about, follow your passion is complete and utter nonsense, passion is not a starting point. Passion is a byproduct, and it is a byproduct of this formula. Remember, I like structures, so we're going to have formulas. So step one, figure out what you're good at. Where are your strengths? If you don't know, ask somebody. Take a personality profile test. I actually have one in the Jumpstart Your Midlife Workbook that you can take. That's what this whole the whole workbook is about. This, these steps right here. Secondly, what are you curious about, and how can you leverage those skills and those strengths to learn more? And then third, find a community, find people that you can connect with, all of that will help you identify your purpose. And then, if you want to turn purpose into passion, you just multiply that by consistency, discipline, patience and self-compassion. Everybody talks about the consistency and and the the discipline, nobody ever talks about, the patience and the self-compassion, you got to have those two. And then what you'll find is, oh, you figure out what it is that you're passionate about. To me, passion is something that you will do on the weekend for free because you enjoy it so much, don't monetize it. You don't have to monetize it. Just do it for you. Do it for fun. And if, over time, you've like, oh, okay, like, maybe, maybe I can make a little side hustle with this. Go for it. But then remember, it's no longer a passion, it's a job. So keep those things in mind and just follow those steps, especially those first three, those are the big three right there. And you'll it'll give your life a little bit more meaning, and it will help you stretch that comfort zone. Lesley Logan 43:12  Yeah. So good. Way to go. Thanks, Billy. This is so fun. Billy Lahr 43:18  Yeah, thank you for having me. Yeah, I've enjoyed it. Lesley Logan 43:19  Yeah, everyone. How are you gonna use these tips in your life? Let Billy know. Let the Be It Pod know and send this to a friend who needs to hear it. Send it to a complacent friend. Be their kickstart. It'll help them stretch their dough and until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 43:33  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 44:15  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 44:20  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 44:24  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 44:32  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 44:35  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

One anonymous Saturday ritual at a local bookstore can spark a movement that transforms an entire children's hospital. In this "Fuck Yeah Friday" episode, Lesley Logan shares the touching story of a grandfather whose weekly gift evolved into the "Books for Bravery" program, now delivering 47 books every Sunday. Beyond community miracles, she highlights personal listener wins like her Aunt Vickie's surprise family celebration and the joy of divisional playoff football. She also gets vulnerable about her own journey toward a professional ADHD diagnosis, emphasizing why self-advocacy is the ultimate win after realizing she was exhausted by trying to manage through yet another system. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Honoring a grandson's leukemia recovery through a weekly book ritual.Scaling a bookstore gift-wrapping tradition into the "Books for Bravery" program.Staying consistent with Pilates workouts while favorite instructor was on vacation.Aquarius personality traits and a clinical ADHD diagnosis from a psychiatrist.Managing the eight-month waitlist for professional mental health support.Episode References/Links:@stranger_wisdom_ - https://www.instagram.com/stranger_wisdom_@bookloverswriting - https://beitpod.com/bookloverswritingSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  It's Fuck Yeah Friday.Lesley Logan 0:01  Fuck yeah. Lesley Logan 0:02  Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Lesley Logan 0:47  Hi, Be It babe. Happy April 10th, happy FYF. It's Fuck Yeah Friday. And did I tell you guys? Maybe I told you guys? Maybe I didn't. Did I tell you guys? I met this incredible one of our listeners? Hi, I met one of our incredible listeners. I'll keep your name out of it, but she was at the airport on her way to the Pilates World Expo, which is where I got to see her, and she said that she couldn't get her AirPods to connect. And she was hit play on the podcast, and it was like it was the Be It Pod, obviously, that's why I'm telling the story. And so she hits play, and her AirPods aren't connecting, and it goes it's Fuck Yeah Friday, it's just like, fuck yeah, at the airport and all these people look over and this woman is stunning. She's so beautiful, and like, not someone you would think is gonna play out loud in an airport. It's Fuck Yeah Friday, I just laughed so hard. And also I hope we have issues like I think you have more listeners now. I'm like, we need them. So thank you for exposing people to this amazing episode where we give you some inspiration, something to think about, your wins, my wins, and a mantra, right? Let's keep it short. Let's keep it tight. Let's keep it fun. Lesley Logan 1:56  This won't be fun. This part is inspirational in a way that we have action to take. So, all right, so here is, here's something that inspired me on the internet. Are you ready? @stranger_wisdom_ but @bookloverswriting shared it, so, I work at a bookstore. Old man comes in every Saturday, 3pm buys one book. Always pays cash, always asks for it to be gift wrapped. Does this every week. Been doing it for six years. Never misses a Saturday. Finally asked him, must be quite a collection you're building. He smiled. I don't keep them. Confused look on my face. Every Sunday, I go to the Children's Hospital, leave the book at the nurse's station, anonymously, whichever kid needs it most that week. Been doing it since my grandson was there leukemia. He beat it, five years cancer free now, their voice cracked a little, but I remember those long days of scared nights, and I remember the random book someone left, how it gave him something to focus on besides fear. Never found out who left that book, so I decided to be that person for other kids, other scared families. One book a week doesn't seem like much, but it helps one kid forget they're scared for even an hour. It's worth it. I didn't know what to say. Told my manager she got emotional. We decided something, every book he buys, we match it two books to the hospital instead of one. Told him the next Saturday. He cried in the middle of the store. You'd do that? Every single week, I promised. Word spread. Other customers started asking to participate. Now we have a program. Books for Bravery. Customers donate. We buy books, deliver them every Sunday started with two books a week. Now we're at 47 books a week, all because one grandfather refused to forget. 47 books a week. That's insane, right? So that man still comes every Saturday, still buys one book, still asks for gift wrap, but now he's not alone. There's usually five or six other people that are doing the same thing. They become friends. Call themselves the Saturday Book Club, but they never actually read together. 622 books delivered so far. We started keeping letters from parents and from kids. One said I was so scared that I found a book on my nightstand had a note, from someone who believes you're brave. I read it 12 times. It helped. That's why we do it. The grandfather's grandson came in last month. He's 14, now, healthy and strong, and wanted to meet the staff. My grandpa told me, what y'all do? I want to help. Can I volunteer? Now he comes every Saturday, helps pick books, write encouraging notes to put inside. Ah, I mean, there's some good, amazing people out there, you know, you think, like, I'm just doing this one thing. And like, who would know and how much is like it affecting, but like it affects people, right? And doesn't like the one book was like for weeks and weeks and months and months, and then other people joined in. And now, just like all the kids who are going to are going to be touched by that, because there's, there's a new kid with cancer in the hospital all the time, right? So I just love that story. Love that story. I hope you did too. Lesley Logan 4:55  All right, so now your win. This comes from Amie Schantz. She is an OPC member and she shared this. Okay, this, I will give her the this also just say she sent this in in January. Sorry, I'm a little I'm catching up on all of your amazing wins to share this. So keep sending him in. Don't worry, just because it will be a few months down the road, you'll need the reminder. So Amie Schantz says, I un-holidayed my house and squeezed in some alone Pilates while my favorite instructor was on vacation. Well, way to go to get your own Pilates in. Your own session just because they're gone, I'm so proud of you. Way to do it. You know, people always like, oh, my trainers, I can't do anything. There's weeks from your trainers out, my trainers out, I'm out like, come on. You gotta, just gotta do what you can. I love that. What an inspiration you are, Amie. Vickie Saner Logan. This is my aunt. She wrote a couple of my wins this week was when Jim surprised us at the one world of wonder museum on Wednesday, and he's had off this weekend to watch the divisional playoffs with me. See, those are wins. You know, we're like, Oh, my God, it's not a win until, like, I've achieved everything that I like set out to do. That's impossible. Come on. Gotta celebrate in the in between times. Okay? You really, really do. So and little things can be wins, not getting angry when you normally would, like, those are wins, right? So here's what my win is. I've been on a mission. You've heard me talk about it like, I'm like, oh my like, somewhere in the middle of this podcast, I was told I have ADHD and y'all like, but I didn't know. I just, I literally told the psychiatrist today. I said I just thought I was an Aquarius. I like, I don't know. I thought all Aquarians are weirdos. So I just thought the reason I was different from everybody is the weird Aquarius. I didn't know that I am also an Aquarius with ADHD. Like true, like crazy. So I'm really my win is that I didn't just let the internet diagnose me with ADHD. I went and got the proper diagnosis and I asked for help. You know, I was like, I I'm gonna tell you right now, I've done I have lots of systems. I'm really smart. I'm sure I need therapy, and that's not your job. But until I can figure out what's the ADHD and what's not, I just, I can't take it on another system, because I'm at the end, right? And I just share that with you, because a lot of people, it doesn't have to be ADHD, it can be a lot of things. So you could be at the like perimenopause. It could be health thing, a frustration. You've tried all the things. Got to advocate for yourself, and it takes time. You're hearing this in April. My appointment was in February. We made it in October. We made it in October, between my schedule and their schedule and everything, like, it was just really hard. And I just want to say, like, just keep going. And then when you get there, if they give you advice that, like, you've already tried, it's okay to say, you know, I'm not trying to be an obstacle. I've already tried that, and I'm just here for these are the things I've tried. This is what I need help with. And so, you know, tomorrow will be a new day. We'll see how I feel with with support, but like, I just want to share that with you. I think a win can be advocating for yourself and getting the help you need. It was for me, so great. Lesley Logan 8:12  Now your mantra for the week. I am worthy of love and care for myself. I am worthy of love and care for myself. I am worthy of love and care for myself. You are and if you didn't catch it in the February episodes, we did a whole week on self love. It actually released the week of Valentine's Day. So go listen. If you are like, I'm worthy, but I don't know what that is, go listen to those episodes. I promise you they're good. All right, loves. Share those self-love episodes with a friend who needs to hear it and until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 8:47  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 9:30  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 9:35  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 9:39  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 9:46  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 9:50  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Are you attracting the right people or stuck in a cycle of people-pleasing? In this candid recap, Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell dig into the highlights from the recent interview with Barb Betts, a powerhouse keynote speaker and author of The Relationship Advantage. With over 20 years of expertise, Barb's insights on choosing genuine connections over surface-level relationships will transform your perspective on your own identity. This episode explores the provocative idea that authenticity isn't about "doing" something new, but rather "undoing" the layers that aren't actually you.  If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Building a relationship with yourself before connecting with others. Stop people-pleasing by undoing everything that is not you.Replace envy with curiosity to escape the comparison trap. Apply visibility, vulnerability, and relatability to build real trust. Release relationships that require you to show up inauthentically. Episode References/Links:Pilates On Tour® (London, UK) - xxll.co/pot      OPC Spring Training (Virtual Event) - opc.me/events   eLevate Mentorship Program - lesleylogan.co/elevate   Submit your questions or wins - beitpod.com/questionsBarb Betts Website - https://www.barbbetts.comThe Relationship Advantage by Barb Betts - https://therelationshipadvantagebook.comGetting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix Ph.D. - https://a.co/d/0dGm43Y3 If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  If you're not clear on who you are, you actually fill in these gaps you people, please, and then you're wondering, like, why you have relationships that, like, don't represent you, or don't feel right or don't fit, it's because you didn't know who you were, and you you brought that on yourself. Lesley Logan 0:14  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:56  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the candid convo I had with Barb Betts in the last episode. If you haven't listened to that one, you didn't hear it, and you're not gonna understand what we're talking about, but.  Brad Crowell 1:09  Well that's true. If they didn't listen to it, then they didn't hear it. Lesley Logan 1:11  Well, we're thrilled you're here. So if this you might, this might be the first, Be It hot episode.Brad Crowell 1:17  We're so happy that you're here. Lesley Logan 1:18  You know, it's taken 665 episodes. We didn't realize maybe this is the first one, and that's why you didn't listen to it. And I shouldn't say you fucking missed out, because, like, you're new. How would you know? So welcome. This is not what my voice normally sounds like. It doesn't normally sound like I'm on the brink of a sneeze, but I have a sinus stitch, and here we are. We are gonna while you're listening to this, we are in Europe, and we have to record these things early, and so we can't wait any longer. This is how it's gonna be. So stick around.Brad Crowell 1:46  That's true. Lesley Logan 1:46  It does get better than this. It's basically just it sounds less Lesley. Today is April 9th, and it's National Unicorn Day. Brad Crowell 1:53  That's right.Lesley Logan 1:54  You're fucking welcome.Brad Crowell 1:54  You are very welcome. National Unicorn Day.Lesley Logan 1:57  There are other days that we can celebrate. But, I mean, come on, hello. National Unicorn Day is a day to celebrate the most popular mythical creature ever. Why? Because if we don't take time to celebrate a beautiful horn, rainbow, printed mythical creature, then we're most definitely missing a trick. I don't think it's trick. You've been missing out. Brad Crowell 2:17  You're missing out.Lesley Logan 2:17  You're missing out. It's missing out. The unicorn is a symbol of happiness, fantasy and wonder. It's an icon of color, of childlike splendor and magic. They often make appearances on birthday cakes and children's clothing. And let's be honest, quite a lot of US adults still dig them, too. I mean, hello, my Lisa Frank people. My Lisa Frank people, I love you probably have as a tattoo, because adults need stickers too. National Unicorn Day is your chance to express some unicorn love. So show some color and delve into the magnificence of unicorns with us.Brad Crowell 2:47  No, we're saying that word one more time.Lesley Logan 2:50  Show some color and delve into the magnificence. Brad Crowell 2:54  That is the word. Take three. Yes, you did two times. Lesley Logan 3:05  Keep sake. Alright. Oh my gosh I wish you guys knew what I'm happy about. Anyways, leave it in. Delve into the magnificence. You guys, I have a bright yellow box, kind of like a pizza box size that my dad gave me a gift in and on my 41st birthday, maybe was my 40th birthday, probably, probably my 41st anyway, in front of everybody before I had ordered a drink. I just want to put that there. There's, we're at a bar, but I have not had a drink. So it's, we can't blame anything. We cannot blame it on anything. Lesley Logan 3:49  My dad hands me this gift, and it has words on the front, and Brad goes, What does it say? And I said, it says, Keep sake. And Brad is looking at upside down.Brad Crowell 3:57  I was upside down, and I was like, Is that what it says? And I read it. And I was like, try again.Lesley Logan 4:03  I said, keep sake.Brad Crowell 4:05  Like, hello, I'm reading it. Lesley Logan 4:07  I'm reading it. Brad Crowell 4:08  Keep sake.Lesley Logan 4:09  And he's like, you want to try that one more time? And I'm like, it says, keep sake. And it's Brad said, what does it say babe?Brad Crowell 4:16  Definitely says keepsake. Lesley Logan 4:17  Keepsake. Brad Crowell 4:18  Yeah, but we'll go with keep sake.Lesley Logan 4:19  Now, anyone who was there understands how hilarious it was and signs off all text messages to me. Keep sake. I want to frame it so bad. I just don't know that I got to do it anyways. Keep sake. Lesley Logan 4:33  All right, you guys. We're on vacation right now, so I don't know why you're not, but we are. We are somewhere in France, but we're going to see you very soon. If you are in London at POT check out.Brad Crowell 4:43  Yeah we're celebrating our 10th year anniversary, actually.Lesley Logan 4:45  Yes, we are. Brad Crowell 4:46  Decided to take some time off. Lesley Logan 4:47  It's actually the exact dates that we did our honeymoon 10 years ago. So, it is. We did it in March.Brad Crowell 4:54  Of 2016, holy cow.Lesley Logan 4:56  You didn't know I that's why I said it's our second honeymoon. Because it's the same time.Brad Crowell 5:00  You're totally right. It's 10 years after the first honeymoon. Lesley Logan 5:03  I know. Brad Crowell 5:03  Wow, amazing. I didn't even put that together. Incredible. Well, we are going to be in London next week. Or actually, hold on, today is the ninth so in like two or three days, we're gonna be at POT.Lesley Logan 5:12  No, we're literally on a train from Paris to London in this moment.Brad Crowell 5:16  Yes, in this exact moment, we are traveling underwater.Lesley Logan 5:20  That's what they say. So if you want to see us, if there's any tickets left, you want to go to.Lesley Logan 5:24  xxll.co/potLesley Logan 5:26  And it's just in case you're wondering, it's xx not excess, the letters. Brad Crowell 5:33  Yes, as in kiss, kiss, hug, hug, xx and LL, because we thought that was cute. Okay, after that, we're heading back home. We're going to be back in Vegas for spring training. Spring Training is with onlinepilatesclasses.com we love to call it OPC and we do an annual event. Yeah, you know me, we do an annual, annual event. This is called Spring Training. And this year it's all about getting upside down.Lesley Logan 5:57  Yeah. OPC members, it's free for you.Brad Crowell 6:00  Free for OPC members.Lesley Logan 6:01  If you're not an OPC member, you are missing out. I'm just telling you. It really is for Pilates lovers. It really is one of the best things you could subscribe to, because you can do it in addition to your other things, like it doesn't have to be your only thing, but we actually give feedback on your form, like for exercise you're struggling with. We have a really amazing community that answers lots of questions. We can support you on the equipment choices, all that good stuff, and we help hold you a candle to your Pilates practice. And we do this fun event. It's free if you're a member, and it's not free if you're not a member, so then you have to pay for it if you're not a member, so you're gonna go to opc.me/events. To get on the waitlist for that. Actually, probably right now you can sign up for it. And I don't know how much it is on this date, but it's available for you to register for. If you go to opc.me/events it should direct you to where that is.Brad Crowell 6:46  Yes, opc.me/eventsLesley Logan 6:49  And then at the time I'm recording this, there's five spots left in my mentorship program. Just five. It could be gone by now. I have no idea. Unless you want to go to lesleylogan.co/elevate if it's sold out, I'll say so on the website. And if it's not sold out, you can apply to be in the mentorship program. Once I've accepted all the applications and they have accepted their spots, it's you have to work on 2028. Oh, geez, that's far okay. Brad Crowell 7:16  Oh, don't sit on it. Lesley Logan 7:17  Oh, my God, do not. I don't wait that long to work with you. It's way too much fun.Brad Crowell 7:21  Yeah, right. Well, before we dig into this amazing conversation that you had with Barb Betts, we have a question. Today's question is from @marthanovera on YouTube, and she was commenting on the Teaching the Hundred to Beginners video. She said, Hey, amazing tips. Quick q, when preparing for roll ups, when you say you don't like arms holding behind the knees, would it be helpful to have the client let go and reach the arms forward as they curl to their lowest point? Would it be a useful prep for an actual roll up?Lesley Logan 7:55  Trying to picture what you're saying. Sorry, it's not you, Martha, it's it's my sinus medicine. Brad Crowell 8:01  Okay, so. Lesley Logan 8:02  I understand. Brad Crowell 8:03  You do understand. Lesley Logan 8:04  You're preparing for roll ups and I don't like when people hold behind the knees because they just use their arms, which is why I don't like it. I but I understand why a half roll up exists. I have it in my flash cards. I actually have information on how to best teach it. And if they're holding behind their thighs, like close to their knees, just wanna make sure that they're not using their arms to do it. But of course, they might need but, of course, they might need to. But is it helpful for them to reach forward as they curl their lowest point like so they let go? It could be, it might be extra to be honest. Here's the problem. People make Pilates too complicated. What I mean is like, okay, curl forward. Okay. Now, right there. Stop. Reach your arms forward and keep going.Brad Crowell 8:41  I think people like, whip up. They like, you know, to get up into that roll up. That's what I did at first, for sure.Lesley Logan 8:48  All right, so what I would say, Martha is, if they're not ready for the roll up, maybe we need to do other things. Maybe they need to do some pre Pilates work.Brad Crowell 8:56  Yeah, I was gonna say everybody's favorite elbow slip will really help with the roll up.Lesley Logan 9:00  That might even be too hard. Maybe they actually get. Brad Crowell 9:02  It's really hard. Lesley Logan 9:03  Honestly, look, if they don't have access to a Cadillac, that would be a bummer, because where I'm thinking they need to go is the half roll up with the roll back bar. Actually need to use the springs that help them go down and up, versus just working on themselves. I would also say stomach massage on the Reformer would be really great. I would say push down on the Wunda Chair can be really helpful. And if they don't have access to any of that equipment, Martha, then I would put them on the wall, and I'd practice the roll up at the wall. Clearly, something is tight and something is weak. So instead of trying to modify the roll up again and again until it's almost nothing, like the roll up, which is basically like borrowing cash off a credit card, which is the highest interest rate, makes it really hard to pay back whenever you use too much modifications. Are they ever going to be able to do the actual exercise? Ever, right? It's gonna take years, it's gonna take months. So I would say, put them at the wall and work on the roll down, up and down the wall. So they go put their back and then work on exercise that would stretch the front of their thighs and strengthen the back of their legs and then add the exercise back in. It's perfectly fine for them to skip it, get better at it. And I know that that sounds terrible. Sometimes people like I'm just trying to make Pilates accessible. I'm not saying don't make it accessible. What I'm saying is.Brad Crowell 10:14  Yeah, but there are building blocks here, and maybe you haven't built the foundation necessary to be able to do the roll up without either cheating or hurting someone, right, so.Lesley Logan 10:22  Correct and here's the other thing, you remember how. Brad Crowell 10:24  Not that you're hurting them, but they could hurt themselves. Lesley Logan 10:26  Training wheels work. They like, don't actually touch the ground. It's like, if you lean to one side, a training wheel touches the ground, right, catches you. Then I saw someone's training wheels that like, touch the ground, having training wheels that touch the ground on both sides. That kid is never riding a bicycle, ever. It's never gonna happen. So you have to actually make sure that you're not putting a tripod on a bike, versus actually something that will help them test the waters. Brad Crowell 10:51  It's a great visual. Lesley Logan 10:52  Thanks. I just came up with it. Now, how did I not think about that genius example? But another thing I'll just say is, like, not every exercise is for everybody at that time, and we have to understand that, like our job as the teachers who are teaching people is to make sure that we understand, by looking at a body what they're ready for, and then prepare them for what they're ready for. And for the clients, it is understanding that if you can't do an exercise yet, it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It means that we actually have to find the connections to help you get there. And for whatever reason, this is completely normal at a gym. Like, no one would go, Oh, my God, I can't bench press. You've got to make this bar lighter. Rogue should make a lighter bar. No, they're like, here are some lighter dumbbells. Here is another way you could do push ups at the wall. There's like, all these different things. You take bands and you build up your flexibility and your abilities.Brad Crowell 11:47  It's like doing pull ups, right? Like, the same thing. This is a great these are great parallels.Lesley Logan 11:50  For whatever reason, at a gym, people are understanding that they have to build up their strength to do something. But in Pilates or even in yoga, I would argue, people are like, you should make the exercise possible, no.Brad Crowell 12:00  I mean, even when you are like, I can like, even when you're like, I got this, I can do a squat with 175 pounds. You don't, your first squat is not 175 pounds. You build up your bar to get to 175 pounds, even if you know you can already do it.Lesley Logan 12:15  Today, I Dave, I back squatted 120 pounds today. Brad Crowell 12:18  Did you just call me Dave? Lesley Logan 12:20  Babe. Brad Crowell 12:20  Oh, babe. Lesley Logan 12:21  What's this with the sinus infection sounds like Dave, but it's babe. Hey, babe. Hey, Dave, I back squat 120 pounds, which you know how much I started with? Brad Crowell 12:29  Tell me. Lesley Logan 12:29  65 pounds. Did three reps then I added 20 more pounds, 85 pounds, then I got to 105 and did six reps. Now I started my rounds, and I went to 110 then 115 120 why? Because you have to get your brain connected to it. And I just, I just want to say, like, for whatever reason, people like, oh, I have to make Pilates accessible to everybody. No, you have to make everybody ready for the exercise you're gonna give them. That is your job. If you're a teacher, that's your job. If you're a teacher, and if you're not doing that, then you're not helping people. You're just putting a tripod on their bike and going see you did it. You did Pilates. That, to me, is almost lying to them. Anyways. Now I'm on a ped, I'm on a fucking like.Brad Crowell 13:06  Now you're on your own tripod. Lesley Logan 13:08  No, what do you call those things? I'm on a pedestal. I'm not pointing fingers at people, Martha, I just want to say also. Brad Crowell 13:14  Your soapbox, you mean. Lesley Logan 13:15  My soapbox. That's what I'm on. Telling you guys the day will hit. Martha, I appreciate this question. I know it comes from a place of love and wanting your clients to get it, and I love that you're trying to be creative, and so I hope I'm not. I hope you don't feel like I'm like, attacking you. I just, I want to give you different perspective of how to think about readying your clients, and I hope that gives you some.Brad Crowell 13:34  I like it. I like it. Well, that's a great question. Martha, thanks for writing that in and feel free to keep writing in questions. If you have a question, text it to us at 310-905-5534. We also love to celebrate wins. If you haven't, if it is your first episode tomorrow will be Fuck Yeah Friday, and that's gonna be amazing, so.Lesley Logan 13:52  One of, one of, one of the people who sent a win in, they're like, I don't know if it's qualifies. They're in one of our they're like, an eLevate grad and like, I know if it qualifies as a win, but I heard my win on the FYFs today that I sent in, and it's been months since I've had that win, and being able to hear it and recelebrate that is another win.Brad Crowell 14:12  Well, if you have either a win or a question, you can also send it in at beitpod.com/questions be it pod.com/questions and we can't wait to celebrate yours, so stick around. We will be right back. We're going to talk about Barb Betts. Brad Crowell 14:28  Barb Betts is a keynote speaker, author and recovering real estate broker who turned an accidental speaking career into a full time role as a thought leader with over 20 years of experience, she helps professionals understand how relationships drive leadership, sales and long term success. She's the author of the relationship advantage, and is known for her practical, trust-centered approach to relationships, and I think her book has just come out. So we're really Barb. We've known Barb now for like, five or six years, and yeah, this is really exciting for her. So we're fired up.Lesley Logan 14:59  She's kicking ass.Brad Crowell 15:00  Yeah, fantastic. So one thing, oh, actually.Lesley Logan 15:02  It's my turn. Brad Crowell 15:03  It's your turn. Lesley Logan 15:04  I start. I always start. It's my turn. Brad Crowell 15:06  It's your turn. Lesley Logan 15:06  Yeah. She said, I love this so much. She said, to have a real relationship with anyone else, you first have to have relationship with yourself. You guys, this is like. Brad Crowell 15:14  This is like, this is like, mic drop moment, boom.Lesley Logan 15:17  Y'all. This is, like, every time I have people in my life who complain about the people who are dating, gonna go, there's something wrong with you, because you, if you keep attracting people, like one of our friends today, I'm excited for them, but like, I saw online that they're just talking about, like, this is the third person that's ghosted me, and it's like, why do you people three people in a row ghost you like what are you putting out in the world? Because one person goes to okay, that like lightning strikes once in a while, but like, three there's something going on there. So she mentioned that relationships are a mirror of yourself, you're only capable of building a relationship with someone else to the capacity you have one with yourself. So she also argued the biggest problem we have in life is we're trying to build relationships with others, and we don't even know who we are. So we show up to these relationships. Inevitably, we people please and present an inauthentic version of ourselves. And I have a series coming up on I think it's listening to your inner self. And I brought up a book called Getting the Love You Want. And I also just want to say, I have no idea if it ages well. I have no idea if that person's like a real marriage counselor. But there's this thing about in the book that talks about how when you get into a new relationship with anybody.Brad Crowell 16:28  Harville Hendrix. Lesley Logan 16:30  You, you fill in all of your holes, so to speak, you fill them in, but you think that the other person you're with fill them in, and then in a few months, when you're exhausted and tired, you don't fill them in anymore. And then you're like, you've changed. And it's like, actually, you changed because you were filling those things and you were presenting an inauthentic version of yourself. And so I just think that, like, what if you are someone who's wanting new friendships, new relationships, better clients, you know, Barb's big thing is that, like, if you have really great relationships, you can have great longevity in your business and things like that. But if you don't know who you are, you're not going to be attracting people that you want in your life, whether they're clients, friends, a romantic partner, any of that kind of stuff. You gotta know who yourself is.Brad Crowell 17:07  Harville Hendrix is a doctor. Lesley Logan 17:09  Okay, great. Brad Crowell 17:10  So they have a PhD. I have no idea in what, but it's Dr Hendrix. So yes. Lesley Logan 17:15  Yeah, I remember it being great. I also only read the first chapter. I kind of got the point. Do you ever do that you're like. Brad Crowell 17:29  I'm like, okay, got this chapter, I see where, yeah, this is like, ADHD. Am I finishing your sentences? How about I finish your book in the first, I'm like, got it.Lesley Logan 17:39  But, but I will just say, like, I appreciate that thought. And it comes to this, it's like, if you're not clear on who you are, you actually fill in these gaps, you people please. And then you're wondering, like, why you have relationships that, like, don't represent you, or don't feel right, or don't fit, it's because you didn't know who you were, and you you brought that on yourself.Brad Crowell 17:57  Yeah. Well, I got really into when she was kind of dissing the word authenticity, yeah, even though the irony is, she wants people to be authentic, and she also she acknowledged that, and she said that, but she said her big beef with it is the word authenticity is like so overused, and it's also under explored. And she said she critiques the common self-help mantra of just be yourself, you know? And she argues that to be is a verb, that the verb to be is inherently performative, right? Comparing it to deciding what to be for Halloween or when you grow up, right? So if we are going to, like, I think the Halloween parallel is perfect, like, I am going to be Iron Man for Halloween, and you're like, putting on a costume to be Iron Man for the night, but then we're also told to be authentic. And we're like, okay, I gotta, like, be authentic in this moment coming up right now, but like, in my real life, am I actually authentic, or am I putting on the costume of authenticity for this thing? I'm gonna go do whatever, right? And so I think that that was, like, that was really intriguing to me, because she said, that's, I think, how most people are thinking about it, like, okay, I got to put on my two my authenticity hat. Now, you know, she said, authenticity is not about doing anything. Authenticity is about undoing everything that is not you. Lesley Logan 19:16  I love that, and I think that that makes it a lot easier.Brad Crowell 19:18  Another mic drop moment, like, I seriously, there was some, like, really deep stuff in this episode with Barb, and she was just casually throwing out these, like, epic topics. I was like, whoa. Let's dig into that more. She started talking about comparison, and she said, comparison is actually the thief of authenticity. When you're comparing, you are now all of a sudden, adding things into your life that are not you. But if authenticity is about undoing everything that isn't you, then comparison is really the number one trap. But if you compare yourself to someone else for different reasons, you're running a race, you cannot win. She advised that to we need to reframe comparison by replacing envy with curiosity, right, which I love. Wow. Look at them. How are they doing what they're doing? Yeah, you know, rather than feeling defeated by someone else's success, we should view them as showing us that there's a path that's possible, or maybe even literally showing us the path. Oh, I could do that too, right? You know, and how you could achieve it your own way. So I just thought it was powerful. Really, really concisely well said. Lesley Logan 20:19  I mean, we've been listening to Barb talk about building great relationships for a really long time and so does that see her be able to put in a concise book that anyone because she does this on speaking. But when are you gonna go see or speak you'd have to be at one of those speaking places, right? And like, this is something anyone can use. And I think, like, I love the word authenticity, like it's a value that we have at our company, a value that I think is really important, but I agree with her, I is overused and under explored. It's kind of like the word Pilates. Gonna be really honest, it's very similar, like, I do Pilates, but most of the time, people tell me that I'm like, oh, and then I'm like, where do you do it? And they're like, I do it over this place. And I'm like, those aren't even reformers. Why is the room hot? What are we doing? Oh, and you're and your shoulders hurt later, you're not doing Pilates. But I don't want to be the person who tells them that, like, like, that's just an annoying thing. So I kind of feel like I understand, and I love Pilates, and I love being authentic. So I feel it's a predicament. I'm in a I'm in a conundrum.Brad Crowell 21:20  Conundrum. Yeah, it's something we have to remove. All right. Well, anyway, we will be right back. We're going to dig into some Be It Action Items that you covered with Barb Betts, stick around. Brad Crowell 21:30  All right. So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Barb Betts. She said there are three things that have to be present to have a real relationship with others and even with yourself. She calls it the VVR formula, visibility, vulnerability and relatability. VVR. So visibility, are you actually showing up and being present? Visibility, are you actually showing up and being present. She links this to a really interesting law called propinquity, which I have never looked up and thought that was interesting. She said that the greater proximity increases the chance of a relationship. So if you're not in the room, you can't have a relationship.Lesley Logan 22:15  Oh, that's kind of like how Hinge, the dating app, used to start. It was based on if someone had ever been in a location that you've been to? That's how Chris and Laura got together. They both went to some area in Century City Mall, crazy. She shopped there, and his office was down there. And so they're like, you two are near each other some of the time. Brad Crowell 22:33  Love that. Well, yeah. So visibility, obviously. Vulnerability is the second thing. And I thought, again, this was another really powerful thing. And she said, there has to be some level of vulnerability in your life with other human beings. So are you willing to say, I don't know the answer to that? Or text someone and just be like, Hey, I was just thinking about you. I miss you, right? And there's that is being vulnerable. And when you do that, it really does, like let them know that they're special, that they're they care. So you know, by being vulnerable, you're helping connect the dots, and it builds relationships. The third is relatable relatability. You have to have a point of connection or common ground. She believes that this is often something forced, that people are forcing right? I mean, you know, it's like, I think actually people who get in a relationship and they they say things like, Oh, we love the same music and movies and all this kind of stuff, but, like, that's the only things that are a part of it. There's got to be more the vulnerability is, like, super important, you know, and honesty and trust and, of course, all those other things. But relatability is a definitely the beginning. It will help jumpstart all these conversations and all these things, but you know, if you're forcing it, you're not being vulnerable.Lesley Logan 23:52  I mean, that's yeah, that's kind of it. Brad Crowell 23:54  Yeah. She emphasized that if you don't have these three things, then you won't build a relationship.Lesley Logan 23:59  Yeah. I believe that. Brad Crowell 24:00  Yeah, what about you? Big takeaway. Lesley Logan 24:02  Okay, stop hiding. Let your walls down. Let people in. Admit you're not perfect. Admit where you know your vulnerabilities are. Pay attention to how you feel on social media. Pay attention to what you're looking out and how you're comparing yourself to others. I mean, these are great things to like even journal on. They kind of help with what you were talking about before, first of all, if you're listening to this podcast, you're already admitting you're not perfect. You've been listening to us. I sound like a fucking shit right now. I sound like a Bakewell. But I also think, like, when you admit those things, it you don't have to pretend, and you you can just, it doesn't mean you get to like, it's like a bus pass to like, being an asshole, but you can just be like, like, I am not an organized person. I'm not I It's not something I'm going to learn to do. I put things down. I don't put them away. I'm not a dirty person. I'm a messy person, you know. So I that means I have to know that those are my things, and I need people in my life who will put things away or keep things out of my hands so I can't fuck it up, you know. You just have to know these things. And if you do feel like shit when you're watching social media, stop doing it. One of my clients, she just, social media doesn't make her feel good, so she doesn't have any account. She just, she's like, I just, like, I have no idea what's going on, and that's okay, because, like, honestly, like, I don't it wasn't helping. The benefits of being in on, like, whatever is something that is like people are talking about don't outweigh the negatives of how I feel about myself when I watch it. So I think this is really important. And I I understand if you've been hurt before, it's hard to let your walls down, but you waiting for someone to be trustworthy enough to let your walls down. Guess how you do that? You trust them. You have to like, let your wall like the way it works you have to let your walls down first so you can trust them. Let your walls down. That's how it goes. So if people suck, go find new people. I also just want to say, like, I love.Brad Crowell 25:49  Burn those relationships or not relationships, because they're not relationships. Lesley Logan 25:54  No, I think, like, I love how Barb talks about, like, building authentic relationships. I made big fan of just like (inaudible) just don't go like, I'm amazed at how many friends you have from like, different parts of your life, and like. Brad Crowell 26:05  Who, me? Lesley Logan 26:06  Yeah, and I have I, if I saw those people in a place right now, I would not avoid them. I would absolutely go, oh my god, hi from high school, if I to be honest, and no offense even from high school, if I recognized you. I really didn't know who I was in high school, so I don't know, like, who you remember, because probably, but like, I would just say, like, I don't have those but I wouldn't be like, Oh, I don't talk to those people anymore. It's just like, I outgrew those things because I got to know myself more, and it's not a slight to them. It's just like, you keep going. So it's okay to let relationships go, if you have to show up inauthentically to be in them, yes, and I think that that's really important information, you know.Brad Crowell 26:47  I think, I think that's worth saying again, you know, like, and I it's something I struggle with, is letting a relationship go, you know, because, for me, I value relationships really highly. But I love the idea that if you have changed to the point where being in a relationship with a friend or even a family member means you have to be inauthentic to be in that you're allowed to hit pause, you know. So yeah, and it's gonna be healthy for you in the long run, and it is something that we have to protect ourselves, you know? Because, like, think about this. We talk about this all the time. When we let our friends or family, we tell them our dream, and then they shit all over it, and then we take that seriously, you know? And it's like, like, we all know that that has happened, but also too, like, clearly, there's a discord there. Doesn't mean we're firing those friends, but the point is that if we are aware, conscious enough that we should protect our dreams when we're sharing them. You know, in that way, it's also okay as you shift, change and grow. If you have to, like, pretend to be your old self to be in a relationship with someone, maybe you move on.Lesley Logan 27:53  Well, I'll just say, like the other day we were at, not the other day, the other day, but a while back, we were at an event, and I saw some people in person for the first time in six, seven years in our industry, and I used to handle the lot, and there was just a few different times they showed me, kind of like, who they were and how I needed to be in their relationship with them. And they're not bad people by the way. They just their needs and how they want to be and what they want to talk about, are things that are not something I want to do, and how I'd have to be in a conversation with them is not authentic to me. And I went up, I hugged them, I genuinely said, how are you what's going on? And they did vague, this is what's going on, even like they were not vulnerable, no. And what they did say was like. Brad Crowell 28:39  I literally know the conversation you're talking about. Lesley Logan 28:42  They were like, they were like, kind of pumping up whatever it was they were doing in a very like, I'm over here and this is over here. And I was like, yeah, I'm really glad that I'm saying hi, and I'm so glad that over the last six years we haven't been in contact, because, like, who they want me to be in that conversation is not who I am and I have voiced multiple times things that, like, I was like, ooh, I don't really like this, X, Y and Z, yeah. And guess what? So I voiced it. They didn't want to hear it, or they don't care, or they don't see it that way. You have to be a negative. It's just like, it's, we're different. And I think.Brad Crowell 29:15  But this comes back to knowing yourself. So because you know yourself, it allows you to be like, ooh. Lesley Logan 29:20  Yeah. So because of that, so it was great to just have a check in. Like, oh, did I let something go? Was it me? No, actually, we are oil and water and that is okay, and we can exist as balsamic and oil. Sometimes they're great on bread. Sometimes, there's gonna be people who glad that we're both at the exact same event, but I don't have to pour myself into their bowl for the for it to.Brad Crowell 29:45  To finish the metaphor. Yeah, love it. Awesome. Lesley Logan 29:47  All right. I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell 29:48  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 29:49  You guys are amazing. I just am so grateful for you. Thanks for sticking it out with this voice. I hope that we record in a couple of days better. If it's not, you're gonna keep. Listening anyways, because you love me and we are hopefully really helpful, and so you're gonna leave a review, too, me hypnotizing you leave a review show this with a friend who needs to hear it. Until next time, go Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 30:10  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 30:12  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 30:54  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 30:59  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 31:04  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 31:11  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 31:14  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Lesley Logan 31:27  There's a gnat that is just like. Brad Crowell 31:29  I know I tried to kill him twice on my screen without shaking my camera.Lesley Logan 31:32  Flying around my face. I feel like that dog today. I'm like. Gonna wash my hair after this.Brad Crowell 31:44  Yeah, the more you keep touching it, the more amazing it looks on camera.Lesley Logan 31:53  Yeah, what is happening? Okay, that's pretty good. Nope. Do I look like a unicorn?Brad Crowell 32:09  Yes, you are always a unicorn babe. Okay, ready? Okay, let's talk about Barb. Betts. Barb is a keynote speaker, author and recovering real estate broker who turned and we are on a roll. All right, let's start that over. Brad Crowell 32:38  She said there are three things that you have to have to be present. Sorry. She said there are three things that you have to be present to have. This is fucked up. There are three things that have to be oh, that not you. It's just have to be present. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Dr. D.G. Hart and OPC minister Nate Paschall join us to talk about (presbyterian) church, state, and history, and Dr. Hart's new book Protestants and Patriots. https://www.amazon.com/Protestants-Patriots-Presbyterians-Age-Revolution/dp/0268210829/

Authenticity isn't about doing more; it's about undoing everything that isn't actually you. In this high-impact episode, Lesley Logan sits down with author and keynote speaker Barb Betts to unpack one of the most overused buzzwords in personal growth. From getting pregnant at 17 to building a speaking career rooted in real connection, Barb shares how her hair loss journey helped her stop hiding and start showing up fully. Instead of trying to be more, start shedding the layers of protection that stall your growth. This conversation flips the script on self-doubt, turning it into a green light for the next best version of you. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Authenticity as an undoing process of performance and protection.How your relationship with yourself impacts your ability to connect with others.Reframing comparison with curiosity to overcome social media envy.Overcoming imposter syndrome by embracing self-doubt as a growth signal.The VVR formula using visibility vulnerability and relatability to connect.Episode References/Links:Barb Betts Website - https://www.barbbetts.comBarb Betts LinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/barbbettsBarb Betts Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/barbbettsThe Relationship Advantage by Barb Betts - https://therelationshipadvantagebook.comYou're Wrong About Podcast - https://beitpod.com/yourewrongboutGuest Bio:Barb Betts is a sought-after keynote speaker, CEO and relentless advocate for building businesses rooted in relationships. With over 20 years of experience, she blends authenticity and strategy to help professionals create lasting success while staying true to themselves. Known for her high-energy, transformative presentations, Barb has inspired audiences at events like LVMH, Thelios, Fidelity National, Inman Connect, and the NAR Annual Conference. As an entrepreneur and CEO, Barb equips leaders and business owners with the systems and strategies to leverage relationships for growth and success. Through her award-winning podcast, Relationships are Your Superpower®, she shows how trust-based connections lead to more referrals, loyal clients, and sustainable business models.Outside of her work, Barb enjoys life in Southern California with her husband and two children, and can in her spare time, loves to travel, spend time with friends and family, and has never met a steakhouse she doesn't like!  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! 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When I chose to go through my hair loss journey, take my hair off on social media and show everybody my basically bald front of my head. I upleveled my relationships big time in ways I never could have imagined, because it turns out people want authenticity, they want humanity and it gives others permission to do the same with you, and that's how you create a real relationship. Lesley Logan 0:43  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Lesley Logan 1:26  All right, Be It babe, we're gonna talk about relationships, not like the romantic kind, but like relationships with our self. You've heard many Be It Pods be about get to know yourself. And so we're gonna talk about that in a deep, wonderful, tangible way. I actually think it's really great for all of us. I got, I have already have five things. I'm like, oh, I want to review that. Oh, I like that. Oh, I highlight that. Oh, that. I'm so glad I already do that, and now I know why I love it so much. So Barb Betts is our guest today. She's an author speaker and epic human you're gonna hear all about her, and I'm gonna let her tell you, because she's the best at it. So here's Barb Betts. Lesley Logan 2:00  All right, Be It babe, this is gonna be fun, because I've known this woman for a few years now and been following her journey. And there's so many ways this conversation could go, because you are one of the most multifaceted humans I do know, but you are an expert at several things, and I wanted to bring you on to just wow our people in being it till you see it. So, Barb Betts, tell everyone who you are and what you rock at. Barb Betts 2:21  Oh, Lesley Logan, it has been just so, you know, four years we've known each other. Lesley Logan 2:26  That's crazy. It went by so fast. That would be faster than high school. Barb Betts 2:31  I know that's funny. We were both part of a community that we met each other in, and I met you probably at one of my first events. So it has to be four years. So anyway, so my name is Bart Betts. I am from Southern California. I am a recovering real estate agent and broker who built a accidental speaking career while I was selling real estate, and that has transpired into me essentially stepping away from the industry. My husband now runs our sales team, and I now get to pursue my passion of being a thought leader in the world, of helping people build authentic, trust-based relationships with themselves and with others. Lesley Logan 3:08  Which is what the world needs. Because I can't tell you how many inauthentic relationship-building like things are trying to come through my DMs. Barb Betts 3:16  Oh yes girl oh yes. Lesley Logan 3:18  I appreciate when people like, Oh, I forgot. We should talk. I think we have a lot in common. It's like, I don't know who you are, though. This scares me. You don't know how much you're scaring me right now. Barb Betts 3:29  Correct. I cannot tell you how much I connect with that and how much it frustrates me. And I always tell people just continue to be cold in the DMS, and all you're going to get from me is I remove connection or block. So if that's how you want our relationship to go, then try it, because it works with me. Lesley Logan 3:44  I know, I well, I used to tell people, and maybe we've talked about this before, but like, when I'm still I still tell people this, but when I first started business coaching for Pilate instructors, I was like, your business is with clients, is like dating. You would freak out if a guy at a bar, and I'm sorry this is gonna be more heterosexual, because that's the experience I have at a bar. A guy at a bar comes at you and tries to make out with you. But every time you come up, people with come take my class, buy my package, you are trying to make out with a stranger at a bar. You have to, you have to tell me my sweater looks nice. Flatter me a little bit. Barb Betts 4:18  100% Lesley Logan 4:19  Well, we're kind of skipping ahead. So okay, you actually, I love that you're a recovering real estate broker. I don't think we've ever had one of those before. But how did you get into this? Like, what was the journey? How did you discover that you were a thought leader here? Because it's not like, I mean, maybe you've always known you were when we were born that way, and, like, someone goes Barb Betts, you are the thought leader on this, but, I don't know. Barb Betts 4:40  Kind of, what's crazy about this is so when I was like, as long as I can remember, I always wanted to be a teacher. I would play school in my room, and my favorite place to go to get prizes or rewards was teacher supply store. Lesley Logan 4:56  Oh, my God, I do love teacher supply, yes, that is the best store. Barb Betts 4:59  So I would get grade books and seating charts, and I would put the mean people with the mean people because I didn't like them, and I'd give them bad grades, and I'd give the Lesleys of the world that I loved. I'd give them the good grades, and I would line up on my camera, scratch kid dolls, and I would teach them school. So I've always had the heart of a teacher. Frankly, I wanted to be a teacher my whole life. I would have been 100% a teacher, I'd probably be a principal right now, if it wasn't for the fact that I got pregnant at 17 years old. I talk about it very openly that that derailed my college opportunities. And back then, in the late 90s, there was no Zoom, there was no online classes, there wasn't any of that. And so how I ended up in real estate is a story that it would be boring to tell ended up in real estate. Got good at it. Was doing everything by relationship. And about 2011 I was in an office where everyone was taking note that my husband and I weren't doing door knocking and bus benches and grocery carts and all the other things that realtors are taught to do. And so they were like, Hey, can you teach us what you're doing? I was like, Sure. So I did a class, and I'll never forget, a woman in her 70s came up to me, she looked me dead in the eye, kind of rudely said, you should never go on a listing appointment another day in your life. You should do this for the rest of your life. And I didn't think much of it then, but it has stuck in the back of my head. And so from there, Lesley, it just snowballed. I just kept doing more classes and more classes that led to stages, that led to bigger stages, and that led to me truly not believing but understanding and feeling the itch and the need that I do have thoughts, I do have ideas that can help people. I have a gift on stage, which not everybody does, and I need to pour into that, lean into that and move into this new next chapter of my life. Lesley Logan 6:44  Wow. First of all, thank you for taking us on the journey of how when that was because I think some people would go, Oh, look at Barb Betts. It happened in like, three the four years that they've known each other, you know, like, like the year before they met, she figured this out, she taught a couple things, and now she's a paid speaker. Like, everything starts back with and I have a similar story where somebody told me, like, they asked me a question, how are you doing what you're doing? Because whatever you're doing is different than the that the norm is doing. And you all like, for me, I love that your reaction is, like, kind of rudely. I remember thinking I was in trouble. Which is clearly an insight to the psychology of an oldest daughter. But like, I thought I was in trouble. Like, like, they're like, the way they asked, How are you doing this did not seem like they were excited about what I was doing. I had to sit there for a second realize, oh, they actually just want to know. I'm not in trouble. Barb Betts 7:31  They're actually curious. Yeah, they're not, they're not putting you down, yeah. Lesley Logan 7:35  Yeah. So then so and I say, I highlight that, because for everyone listening like there are things that you are so good at, but because it's normal for you, you don't see it as the strength right away someone has to tell you, and sometimes we're not listening to them, or we think we're in trouble, we're avoiding that information because it's scary. It would be like, I don't know. Like, owning that means changing what, how you do, what you do. Like, it's like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go in this lane now that'd be really scary. Barb Betts 7:58  It was. It was really scary. And, you know, frankly, how it all happened. It was about four years ago when we met, is when I made the decision that my husband and I have ran this great real estate company for so long, but real estate's getting real scary. And I, if you don't know anything about real estate, you know, we just went through these huge lawsuits and all this other stuff, and I was kind of at the table for a lot of those conversations, and I knew how bad things really were, and I knew how much our industry was going to change. And I kind of thought to myself two things. One, I'm not fulfilled anymore. Just, I hate to say just, going on listing appointments, working with buyers, it just doesn't fulfill me the same way it used to. And then the second piece to that was, I am concerned that all of our income is in one basket, and if the bottom falls out of the real estate industry again, then we're screwed. And so how do I diversify my income and follow my passion? And so it was scary, because I was and then what were my clients going to think, and was my husband still going to have enough business? And I was the one that started our real estate you know, I was 23 years he's 19, but I was the face of the company, the face of the team. So like, will he still generate enough business without me helping him? All those things were super scary. Well, it turns out, fast forward, he's a better realtor than I ever was, and although he is completely different than me, he still gets the same thing accomplished. So it all worked out, and I'm doing what I love, and he's crushing, you know, his side of the world. And I still help in the real estate business. I still run our team and train and teach and all that kind of stuff, but my day to day, full time role is putting good thoughts and ideas out into the world and inspiring others from stage.Lesley Logan 9:34  So let's talk about those good thoughts and ideas because, and we kind of alluded to at the very beginning, we were talking about these DMs. You talk about authentic, like building authentic relationships and at the time I'm recording this you guys, which is, you know, a little bit before this comes out, I ran, I was at a real estate event. That's not a real estate event. It was a tequila tasting event, which, like, hello, I'm tequila. I'm in. I have liked, I want to do tequila sommelier. That is my next dream. If you if I disappear from this earth, I'm probably learning tequila you guys. So just know that. So I'm at this tequila event, and it's basically the way that he builds relationships, friendships, connects with people, and that's he's like, I don't do any of the things. This is how I do it. I had no idea what he does actually like until the day. But at any rate, I ran into a friend who I've known since, like, 15 years ago in LA, she and I both moved to Vegas, didn't know it, because, like, where we used to cross paths had changed, so I got to have, like, a sit down coffee date with her, and we're talking about how hard it is as an adult to build good friendships, great friendships. And I don't have children, so I don't even have the excuse of running into parents I may or may not, like, like, I have to just, like, look around a coffee shop and wonder, like, is that a future person for me, but in, everyone who's listening here, most every business requires good, authentic relationships, most hobbies, most like, fulfillments in life doesn't matter. So we can go business or personal, but like, everything kind of, I think, plays into the same thing. The authentic relationships are what make this world go round. How do we do that? Barb Betts 11:06  Yeah, great, great question. So, you know, one of my biggest mantras is in life is to have a real relationship with anyone else, you first have to have a relationship with yourself. I think the biggest problem we have in life is we're trying to build relationships with others, and we don't even know who we are. And so when we show up to these relationships, when we show up to these conversations, we're being fake, and we're trying to people-please, and we're trying to make the other person like us by not being who we really are. And when that happens, they're building a relationship with an inauthentic version of you. I like to say something to the effect of relationships are a mirror of yourself. You are only capable of building a relationship with someone else to the capacity you have one with yourself. So like what you see in you is what you will attract in others. And until we clean up the relationship with ourselves, we can't build one with anybody else. Lesley Logan 11:57  Oh, Barb. Barb Betts 12:00  It's the truth. I learned it the hard way. And then when I when I talk about this, I also stand on stage and tell people that this version that you are seeing up here right now, I was not this version five years ago. And so this is not something that I'm telling you. Everyone knows when they're 25 years old, absolutely not. But can 25 year olds learn it a lot sooner than potentially you and I have? Absolutely. I think problem is we have to have the courage to do it. Lesley Logan 12:22  Yeah, because I do think I appreciate you saying that like I think the older we get, the harder it is to kind of unpack the different masks we might have been wearing, some of us wearing because maybe we have a neuro divergence. And so we think we need to have those masks. Some of them are learned because of how we're grown up. And so then you have to unpack that and also recognize how long you've been carrying it. And then you have to get to know yourself. And that's so hard. Every time I hear like, getting to know yourself, I think of runaway bride when Julia Roberts is trying to figure out how she likes her eggs. Like, I think that's the perfect example of like, I don't know, do I like? Barb Betts 12:56  Well, this is so I always tell people I have, like, a big beef with the word authenticity, and yet that's what I speak on. I have a beef with this word because it's the most overused under explained word ever. It was Merriam Webster's word of the year in 2023 yet everyone has a different definition of it. The problem with the word authenticity is people think authenticity means throwing up your life on somebody. And I always say that's called oversharing. That is not authenticity. So one of the things you you said it in a different container a second ago, is, I'm so tired of this mantra of people telling people, and in self-help books and on Instagram posts and everywhere else, just be yourself. Just be authentic. And my question to audiences is, do you even know what that means? Do you even know what it means to be yourself. And the problem I have with the word be is, be is very performative. What do you want to be for Halloween? What do you want to be when you grow up? It's futuristic. It's performative. It's not real. It's not in real time. And so what I teach audiences is, what helped me tremendously, is reframing this conversation around authenticity and giving it not necessarily a new definition, but a new action to get there. And so what I've come up with, what I've used, what I've seen in my own life, is that authenticity isn't about doing anything. Authenticity is about undoing everything that isn't you and you said it right? Layers of performance, layers of protection, the masks we've been wearing, the perfect mom title, the perfect friend title, the perfect Pilates instructor, title all of these titles and things that we've been told we have to be so we try to be them, but we're really not them, or we're not them in the way that someone else wants us to be so how do we start undoing these things that have been holding us back? And for me, personally, it to, you said it, mine started on the playground when I was a little girl. I was overweight, I was not cute. I had coke bottle, thick glasses, I had braces. I had like five strikes in the you're the left out weird kid department. Lesley Logan 15:01  Barb, we and I, we would have been friends. Barb Betts 15:03  I was lonely. I was sat by myself, ate lunch by myself more times than I can count. I was also an old child, so I didn't go home to a bunch of, you know, siblings running around. And so what I always tell people is I became a professional on the playground of fitting in. I became a professional at turning myself into whatever someone else wanted me to be, to be their friend. Problem with that is that eight year old little girl never put those masks down. I kept wearing them my whole adult life. And that's the problem. We don't have enough courage or self-reflection, to sit back and go, you know, is this really how I want to show up in the world? Because you know what it is deep down inside, everybody does. And if someone has to tell you what it is, that's not authenticity, because that's someone else's opinion, right? So. Lesley Logan 15:56  Well, I had perm bangs, just just the bangs part.Barb Betts 16:01  Just the bangs. Lesley Logan 16:02  And and I will say, like, I love that I wore a flower girl dress to school one day. But also, I'm sure that's the day that people are like, well, that's like, you guys a big it's I went to school in the 80s. So this would have been '88, '89 a pink, like pink, big dress with the big bows, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And I know I looked good and I had tennis. I was Punky Brewster before it existed. But for sure, for sure, so I know that's what changed, and now that's why I wear, you know, tool now. Barb Betts 16:40  Oh my gosh, yeah, I I love it. I put a picture up on the screen of me, and I always give the audience a second to realize that is me circa 1986 because they're literally looking at the picture and looking at me like, there's no chance that's her. Because some people are like, Oh, your childhood wasn't that bad. You weren't and then they see a picture and they're like, my my friends, when I show them the picture, I'll just pull it out at dinner, and they pee their pants, and these are friends that have been friends of mine for 20 years, and they're like, no chance that's you. Like, yeah, it is. Lesley Logan 17:13  So I want to, so, okay, we have to do the undoing. We have to, you know, really, truly find what authenticity is within ourselves, and I do. I'm with you, by the way. Okay. Side note, there was a podcast that did the war on dictionaries, and if you it's you're wrong about podcasts, you guys, that came out last year, you have to listen to it, because it's about why Merriam Webster became the dictionary that we all buy. It's so fascinating. I mean, who knew that could be fascinating? This whole book about it, at any rate, because I feel like authenticity is like an umbrella term for, like, vulnerability and all these different things. So you hit all that. So okay, and you mentioned that our relationships are a mirror of ourselves, so they can only go as deep as we can go as deep with ourselves. In the undoing does does that and making really? Does that make it easier to make new friendships? Does that make it hard to let go, because now I feel like you have to let go of other relationships like, and you're a relationship expert. Should we be letting go of people? Barb Betts 18:08  Well, if they truly don't fit who you really are, right? If you truly are not being yourself with them, and then when you are yourself with them, if you're not accepted, not appreciated, not felt loved, then absolutely there are friendships and relationships that I realized I was carrying on to because I thought they were the cool people to be with. And it turns out that they're really not, and they don't love me for who I really am, or my voice or my opinion. So I share it in a simple formula, and we don't have to get deep into each one of them, but I'll just give you the high level of the three things. There's lots of things you can do to start unraveling, but the three things that like changed my life the most that I feel like are the three that most specifically women deal with, men too, but really women, the first is to stop hiding, right? Because I always say, when you hide who you are, you limit who you can become. And I have a whole hair loss journey that you know very well. I wear wigs full time, and that's really what transformed my life is when I was going through this hair loss journey, and about five years ago, I decided to rip the band aid off. I was told my hair is never coming back by a very well-respected hair surgeon, and I decided to transition to human hair wigs, came out publicly on social media about it, changed my life. And that's how I know when you stop hiding behind who you really are, right, you can become who you're really designed to be. The second piece that I always talk about is we have to reframe comparison. I think comparison is the thief of authenticity, and I think it's the number one trap as adults, we get into. Social media, at your job, in your career, right? Some other Pilates owners doing better than me. I hate them. Why can't I be like them? All of the things? So when I say reframe comparison, what I mean is, instead of comparing yourself to someone else, instead, come from curiosity, like, they are showing you the path to success. They're showing you that you can do it. You just have to do it in your own way. And get curious about what are they doing? What's their background? What season of life are they in? Maybe you're not in that same season. Like you just said, you don't have kids. You can get in a van and travel the world. If another Pilates owner or, you know, instructor is comparing themselves to you and Brad's ability to do that, but they have three children at home. Guess what? You're running a race you can't win, but we still do it. You think, Oh, they've got it all together. Oh, they made the perfect lunch, or they did this, or they, you know, whatever, their top producer, and I'm not. And so reframe comparison with curiosity, and then the third, and people always think I'm crazy when I say it, until I unpack it, is we have to embrace self-doubt, right? We look at self-doubt and imposter syndrome as this negative feeling, and it's not. Self-doubt, I believe, is the space where your confidence is actually born, right? If you don't have some kind of doubt, you're not going anywhere. We all have it. And if you tell me you don't have doubt, I would argue that you're not being authentic, right? Imposter syndrome, right? I'm so tired of imposter syndrome being put in this container as you're a fraud or you're a fake. Imposter syndrome is simply a sign you're growing, you're stepping into some new version of you, right? It's like we have to look at these as green lights, not stop signs, and we have to push through them, because that is how you build confidence from the inside. It's not given to you. It's truly built by you stepping into these new containers that you need to be in, new rooms you need to be in new opportunities, new everything. And so I think those are the three biggest things that I help people with, is really breaking through those. And when you do those, when you stop hiding, you're breaking down your walls, right? When you learn to turn comparison into something positive, you rewire your brain. You're looking at it as like envy and as success, and I can do that. And then when you embrace self-doubt, right? You're taking something that's completely normal, and you're stepping through it, which is how you, how you, I believe, break through the walls. Lesley Logan 22:01  I couldn't agree more with all that. I actually like the one reason I think I love that Pilates is in my life as long as it is, no matter what facet it's become, it's because it's a way that I'm allowed to be curious in my body, right? Like, like, why is this exercise so hard today It wasn't hard yesterday? Like, it's a way to practice curiosity, which is something that like, for better, for worse, the way the education system was when I was growing up, you're not curious. You memorize and you get the answer right, or you get it wrong. So I it's taken as an adult, this way of practicing being curious, because that's not something that's natural for me. I want to highlight the self-doubt thing, because I think that is so good, because I would be like, with this imposter syndrome. I remember Seth Godin going, Yeah, well, if you're new at something, of course you're going to feel that because you're new. And it's like to me, I just tell people, congratulations, you're not a narcissist. A narcissist will never feel that way and the way that you just said it. It's so funny, because I didn't realize I have a process. I will come up with an idea. I will then have self-doubt. I have to go through that so that I can go, Well, what am I doubting about it? How do I either get rid of that or, like, learn the thing I need to learn, or research the thing I need to do, whatever I've got this project that I'm working on this year. And of course, as soon as I said I want to do it, I immediately was like, who am I to do this? What, like, Well, how would I solve that problem? How do I solve that problem? And in going through the self-doubt questions, I can figure out the things, and now I have even more confidence in the thing that I'm doing, because I went through the things that I was doubting and explored what that was. And I think that your positive reframe. I think every single person, if they can go, Oh, I feel like that's a load off of your shoulders right now, I feel free. Barb Betts 23:37  It is, well, you said it, right. Okay, so when you feel the doubt and you truly don't know how to do something, or don't know, then you get help, shore up your weaknesses, pull in people around you, or truly understand you have been you have been gifted this opportunity. You've been invited into this room, whatever it may be, because someone else, or the universe, God, whoever, sees something in you that you can't see in yourself yet. But if you don't embrace that and you hold yourself back, you're not going to go anywhere in life, right? You tell me, you show me any successful person that you put on a pedestal that you think has never doubted themselves. The difference is, they know they're imperfect. They know they're going to make mistakes, and they choose to show up anyways, right? Think about Gary Vee. Everyone worships Gary Vee. Gary Vee is amazing, right? He's up on this world level that so many of us are like, Oh my god. Started out selling wine on the internet, on YouTube, you think he knew what he was doing? Absolutely not, right? You think he was comfortable in video? Go back and watch him. He was not, right? He did it anyways, and he was okay with showing up. Clearly, he's very authentic and does whatever he wants to do, but people love him for it. So when you you mentioned earlier like this whole like leaving people behind, and what do we do? And does it change who we are? It absolutely does. It 100% does. But what I know for a fact, because when you choose authenticity, when you choose to show up real, relatable and human, I know for a fact, you give others permission to do the same, and that is the foundation of human connection, and that's how you build real relationships. When I chose to go through my hair loss journey, take my hair off on social media and show everybody my basically bald front of my head, I upleveled my relationships big time in ways I never could have imagined. Because it turns out, people want authenticity. They want humanity, and it gives others permission to do the same with you, and that's how you create a real relationship. Lesley Logan 25:42  Yeah, oh, I got chills. I I think that's so interesting that we we fear losing people by changing who we are, because we're becoming more of ourselves. We're, like, truly not just leveling up, because that can be a little masculine, but, like, I'll just say that leveling up ourselves, right? We're like, like, owning all the things about ourselves, owning our imperfections, owning our desires and all that. And other people will level up they'll be like, Oh my gosh, like, they're being pulled with you, and that requires and then some people won't. Sometimes those people just fall off. You don't even notice it. And they'll be like, Oh my God. I haven't talked to the person in a year, and that is a sign they let themselves go. They let themselves out the door. Barb Betts 26:27  Yup, well, and I also always want to make sure that I give this footnote, because what I don't want people to think is, you know, there's a filter that you have to put yourself through. And I hate using the word filter, but it's the best way for people to understand, right? Because authenticity without this filter can be arrogance, can be a turn off. Because what I always say is, there's different rooms you're in. There's different relationships you have where you bring your authenticity to the table. And you can't bring your whole self everywhere you go. If you bring your whole self everywhere you go to a boardroom, versus maybe, how maybe you have a funny personality and you're a jokester that may be okay at home or around the dinner table with your friends, but it may not be appropriate in the boardroom with the senior vice president of your company. May not be into your jokes that day, right? So what I always say is authenticity with an emotional intelligence lens, being aware of who's around you. What environment are you in? What's appropriate, what's not is how you have influence in life. It's how you build these real influential relationships. Because I may have a political opinion, everyone has one, it may not be appropriate to talk about that with a new client, right? It doesn't mean I'm being inauthentic. It just means I'm choosing not to share that part of me with somebody. And so what I always say is the parts of you that you do bring have to be authentic. So like, you don't have to bring your whole self everywhere you go, the parts of you that are showing up have to be real, and they have to be authentic. Lesley Logan 28:07  Yeah, I love that so much, because, like with the ADHD brain that I have, if I were to bring my whole self to every meeting, people would not be able to follow along. Barb Betts 28:18  Correct, 100%, like, you're authentic. You just said, I have ADHD that's being authentic. Yeah. Lesley Logan 28:25  Yeah. So I and like, I think, like, it's having that okay, so in this space, this is how I can at least, so, okay, right? There was all the ADHD that you just experienced, because my brain went to three places being able to say, Okay, I'm aware that I'm going to be going in a different direction where this conversation is going. I promise it's going to circle back, because my brain is going to get us there. But yeah, I have to know that. And if I, if I mask that, then probably the best ideas are going to come for me, because that's what I'm good at. But also I'm not going to share the four other thoughts that happened over here at the same time. Barb Betts 29:00  Correct. Yes, yes. You know what it is. You know, some people have quirks. Some people have things about them that are, you know, appropriate for, again, your friends at the bar, but they're not appropriate for the boardroom or for the sales call or for the Pilates class while you're teaching, or, you know, things like that. So I think it's just understanding that what can't happen is you masking and pretending to be somebody or something you're not. That's what can't happen that people can smell and sniff out right away. Lesley Logan 29:30  Yeah, they can. And I and to go back to, like, this whole thing, like, it doesn't matter what the relationships are for, whether it's because you want a partner or you want a best friend, or you want a dog walking buddy, or you want, you know, to get a sale out of someone, you have to bring the authentic parts of yourself to that experience so that they can also make the correct decision as well. Barb Betts 29:52  Yes, because you don't want people that want to be friends with the not real you. Because then that's why your relationship never goes deep. That's why you never feel connected. That's why you never feel excited about seeing them. All of those should be clues that either you're not showing up real or they're not the real friendship for you, and not everybody is going to be your friend, not everybody is going to have a relationship with you, and that is okay. I promise you, the real people that you are meant to be surrounded with will come out of the woodwork when you embody this, you know, authentic way of showing up in life. Lesley Logan 30:32  Yeah, oh my gosh, I'm glad you highlighted it's okay. Like, I grew up thinking like everyone needed to like me. Right? I like, how many people are, like, nodding their head, like grew up that ever needed to like me. And the reality is, is like, I that's not true, and also doesn't set you up for being able to be yourself in every room. And there's, I saw something that that I've quoted him many times, and so, just so you know, if you've ever heard me say, I don't I saw on a shirt or, like, a bag you could take the grocery store. It's, like, it said, not, it's, not everyone like me I'm not a taco. And, like, because there's all, there's a taco for everybody, and I'm just, but I'm not going to be everyone's taco. Barb Betts 31:11  100% 100% Well, and, you know, and it's also, you know, again, we don't have to go down this rabbit hole, but we were talking about it earlier, about how do you build relationships with others? And so you have to show up authentic and real. But then I also believe there's three key factors to every relationship. So this might because I know we wanted to talk about, obviously, the relationship with ourselves, but how do we build these relationships with others? And so I'll share that the I created a formula, I wrote about it in my new book, that there's three things that have to be present always in order to have a real relationship. And these are the things I think people miss. And I don't care if this is sales, leadership, friendship, family, romantic, I don't care what it is they have to have these three things. And I call it the VVR formula, and it's visibility, vulnerability and relatability. You don't have those three things, you can't have a relationship, and it works with yourself too. So talk about visibility, right? You have to be present. You have to show up. When people are like, I don't have relationships that I want, I don't have friends, well, are you actually visible? Are you showing up? Are you present? And then when you are present, are you really present? Or are you on your phone, right? Like, are you at the cocktail party, networking and trying to meet people, or are you in your phone in the corner, right? Yeah. Then there's vulnerability. You have to have some level of vulnerability with every other human in your life, or you don't have a relationship, right? And vulnerability can be everything from just telling your team, you know, I don't know the answer to that, right? Or it can be, I don't like the new software either, that they're asking us to use, but guess what? It's what we've been handed and we have to learn it, right? Then there's all the way level of vulnerability, where you're sharing your deepest, darkest secrets with your best friends. I'm not sick, because when people hear vulnerability, they think, I don't want to be vulnerable. Well, you have to have some level of it, or you can't have a human relationship. And then the third is relatability, right? You have to have some point of connection. And this is the thing I think people force. I think people force this, right, if you do not have something that you can relate to each other on whether it be a favorite sports team, or you both love Pilates, or you both love wine or tequila, or you both love a certain sport, or you both have kids, you have to have some kind of relatability with another human. It's why, when you go to networking events and cocktail parties and everything else, and you know, you and I have been in these rooms where someone wants to be in your contact information, and you're like, nope, not saving that in my phone. Pretend I save it, but not saving it. It's because you had nothing in common when you had your conversation. If you did, you would have wanted to save that information and create a relationship. So when were talking about building relationships with others. I just want everyone to know that I believe if you focus on those three things, how can I be more visible? How can I be vulnerable, and how can I be relatable? You will create more relationships than you know what to do with them, if you want them. Lesley Logan 33:47  Yes. And I also, I was just thinking like, you know, I have some friendships that the relatability changed during covid, they got they had a baby, I moved, all these different things. And so our friendships have changed. They didn't disappear, but we are finding new things to relate on, because the major things in our lives aren't relatable anymore. And so I think relationships can go through that. And if you really want them to stay, you find a new thing to be relatable on. Barb Betts 34:12  100% or or visibility, which is also the proximity principle, which is also the law of propinquity. Try to say that 10 times fast. The law of propinquity basically says that the greater the physical or psychological proximity is between people, the greater the chance they'll have a relationship, right? So if you are not either physically or psychologically in someone's proximity, you're not going to have a relationship. So we wonder why in sales, our relationships drift away. Well, are you seeing them or marketing to them? Because if you're not, they're not coming back. Right. Are they showing up to class? If they're not showing up to class, you can't, but you can't have a relationship with them. So how do you get back in visibility with them? How do you get back in proximity with them? That's why it's first, because you're right. Relationships drift away, good or bad, for various different reasons. But if you want to bring it back to center, then get visible with somebody. Get vulnerable with somebody. Vulnerability can be texting Lesley and being like, Lesley, I miss you, I miss seeing each other in six months. I really miss you. Can we get together? That's being vulnerable because you're admitting I haven't been in touch with you. Right? And then relatability, finding a new point like to your like you just said, you have friends that all of a sudden started having kids during Covid, and you guys don't have kids, and so they're doing off all the little tiny kids stuff, and you and Brad aren't interested in guess what? That's normal. You don't have to be interested in little kids stuff, right? So that's creates a little bit of a relatability difference. But can you have a relatability on something else that you're both interested in?Lesley Logan 34:15  Yeah, I feel like I could talk to you for hours. We are going to take a brief break and find out where I can get your book, because obviously I my interest is piqued. There's going to be other things to go along with once we get the first step down, then there's the next steps. And so we'll take a brief break and find out and get those books. Lesley Logan 34:15  All right. Barb, where? Where are your books sold? Barb Betts 34:15  Books are sold everywhere. Lesley Logan 34:15  What's the name of the book? Barb Betts 34:15  The book is The Relationship Advantage: Unlocking the Life-Changing Power of Human Connection. Just look under the relationship advantage. Easiest way to find it, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Books a Million, as they say, with a deep commercial voice, everywhere books are sold. Lesley Logan 34:15  Yes, well, we're gonna get your book because I definitely, I mean, I've over the four years, I need to know you in this topic. Like every time I hear you speak, I hear a different way of it going, and I think it's the way of the future, even if people think it's AI, it might be AI, relationships are gonna be the thing. Not everyone wants to play with your AI tool if they don't know who you are. Barb Betts 34:15  Well, that's why I wrote the book, and I wrote it in three sections, and and just to give you the high level overview, it's the first section is all the relationships with yourself. The second section is, how do you build effective relationships with others? And then the third section is how relationships make an impact in your life. One chapter on sales, one chapter on leadership, one chapter on building community. And then the final chapter is how relationships are our legacy. Lesley Logan 34:15  You're brilliant, and also, you know, you're you're, you're Barb Betts on the on the gram, correct? And on LinkedIn, and all the things? Barb Betts 34:15  Everywhere grams are found. Lesley Logan 34:15  Yeah, okay, you have actually given us so many tools. I feel like we could just, like, clip it and go, there's your Be It Action Items. But just in case, you have other things to add to that, bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it, what you have for us? Barb Betts 37:21  I would say it comes down to the authenticity. It comes down to stop hiding, let your walls down, let people in. Admit you're not perfect. Admit where you're you know your vulnerabilities are. It definitely comes down to pay attention to how you feel on social media. Pay attention to what you're looking at, how you're comparing yourself to others. Really try to change that neuroscience in your head and reframe that into comparison. And I promise you, one of the things I tell people all the time is just DM somebody when you feel right, that that effort to compare DM Lesley and be like, Oh my gosh, your road show looks amazing. I'm so proud of you, even though you're looking at Lesley like, so successful. Everybody like her, right? And then the third, obviously, is when you next time you feel that self-doubt, friends, please look at it just in your head, think green light. Think green light. Think green light. That means put your foot down on the gas pedal and go. That is your clue to push harder, to go, to go do the thing, because it will change who you are.Lesley Logan 38:17  I love those. I love all of this. This whole conversation has lit me up. I'm so excited. You guys, please let Barb Betts know what your favorite parts were, what your takeaways were. If you were envious then you know what to do, she just gave you the tool to how to say that. Send this to a friend who needs to hear it. You know also it might that might even be a way of being vulnerable, like, hey, this really meant a lot to me. I think it could be really great for us both to figure this out. So I just think that there's so many different ways to take this. Go get Barb's book. I'm gonna get it wherever books are sold, and until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 38:48  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 39:31  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 39:36  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 39:40  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 39:47  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 39:50  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy