Podcast appearances and mentions of henry carter

Is it sinfulness; or desire for a blessing?By cocteleo. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.Wednesday night before Thanksgiving, 2010A London Parish VicarReverend William Seldon, vicar of a well-to-do church in London, was having a hard time writing his next sermon. He was in the middle of wrestling with the topic of the evils of lust when his housekeeper knocked on his study door and came in bearing a tea tray.As the plump and comfortable middle-aged woman set it down on his desk, she said, "Begging your pardon, sir, but I thought you might like a bite or two.""Ah yes, thank you, Mrs. Blandford." He set his pen down and rubbed at his tired eyes.His servant gave him a scolding look as she poured him a cup and handed him a plate of biscuits. "You've been working too hard, sir. You need to rest more!"Mrs. Blandford bustled around the small space, straightening and picking up discarded handkerchiefs and odds and ends, and after once more admonishing him to take a break, she left him alone again.William sighed as he distractedly ran his hands through his hair and stared unseeing down at what he had written. The problem wasn't that he had been working too hard. His church was not in the most fashionable part of town, but nor was it in an impoverished part either. There were plenty of middle-class Londoners among his flock, and they were a tame lot who paid their tithes on time. No, he did not worry about their everlasting souls, nor did he worry about his financial status, which was quite comfortable.One paragraph of his sermon caught his eye. "To lust is to submit to the Devil's will. It is a dark and twisted path to hell, and we must do all that we can to maintain purity and innocence of mind. To live healthy and clean is to gain the path of Heaven."William leaned back in his chair, looking at the wall where a portrait of his deceased father hung. His father had also been a vicar and moreover, an extremely moral, upright man. The grim face in the portrait was set in lines of disapproval, as if he knew William's shameful, dark thoughts.If only his problems were as simple as material wealth and the salvation of his congregants! No, his problem was worse, much worse. He struggled mightily for a minute, trying to focus on his sermon, but there was no helping it. With a shameful desperation, he sprang to his feet and locked the door, quickly returning to his desk.After opening the bottom drawer, he easily found and pulled out a booklet from its hiding place. The pages were worn and thin from many readings. He flipped it open to his favorite part, a series of illustrations that began with an extremely well-endowed woman fellating a man with a giant cock. Just the sight of those beloved pages had him immediately hard and ready, and he took his cock out of his breeches and began stroking it with a sigh of pleasure as he gazed hungrily at the naughty pictures.Instead of the woman in the drawings, however, he imagined instead a young woman with curly blonde hair and crystal blue eyes, kneeling before him and wrapping her pink lips around his cock. She was voracious, sucking and licking him with complete abandon and enthusiasm. William could almost feel the moist heat, the sucking pull of her mouth.It had been a long time since he had felt a woman's touch. He and his friend, Andrew Jennings, had gone to quite a few brothels during their university days. There were also several willing barmaids in the local taverns who were always ready for a tumble with randy young students in exchange for a few coins. But ever since he had taken over his London parish as vicar, he felt a heavy weight of responsibility, and could always hear in his mind his father's sober remonstrances to lead his flock by example.Closing his eyes, William focused again on the thought of the young woman's luscious body. Just yesterday, as they were climbing the narrow stairs of the Tower of London, he had allowed her to pass him and she had squeezed by, inadvertently brushing her round arse against the front of his trousers, where he was, as always around her, sporting a substantial bulge. Then, on the way down, she had bumped her large, soft breasts against his chest. He groaned now, remembering the feel of those plump, bouncing orbs. Those simple, innocent touches had kept him hard during the entire excursion, which made it damned difficult to go up and down those stairs!He pumped his dripping member ever harder now, thinking of her ample bosom. In his fantasy, she wrapped her fat tits around his cock, using her tongue on the head as it appeared between the pale mounds with every stroke. He fisted himself ever faster, nearing his release, panting now. William turned the page again to see the woman laid out on her back, taking that huge cock into her cunt. In his imaginings, her face transformed into one of ripe, young innocence, trusting and loving as he thrust into her tight, wet cunny. When she licked her lips and gave him a sultry smile, William was done for."Oh fuck!" he grunted as he came, his balls boiling with pleasure. He caught his seed in his handkerchief before it could soil his shirt, and gave his cock a few more slow strokes, savoring the echoes of his blissful release.Fleetingly, he thought of the last time he had lain with a woman, during an orgy that he and Andrew had attended as a last hurrah before being ordained a few years ago. He had fucked so many women that night, his cock had been slightly raw the next day. There was one busty woman that he had pounded into from behind while she sucked on Andrew's shaft, moaning lasciviously the whole time. Her cunny had felt so tight and hot and wet, and her round ass had bounced appealingly with every thrust. Three years was too long to go celibate, perhaps. It was as good as any reason to blame for his recent insatiable sexual appetite.As soon as his lusty urges had been sated, he was again filled with the same shame and self-admonishment that had been haunting him more and more lately. Groaning, he crumpled the handkerchief into a ball and buttoned himself back up. Mrs. Blandford must wonder why he went through so many handkerchiefs every day.With a heavy sigh, tinged with guilt, he carefully put away the dirty picture book and turned again to his sermon. Lust! He felt like such a fraud. He couldn't even go one day without stroking himself off. In fact, he often did it two or three times a day now.The Chamberlains in LondonThe clock on the mantel chimed the hour and William stood, both trepidation and excitement filling him. It was time to call on the Chamberlains'.Two months ago, he had received a letter from another Oxford friend, Henry Carter. Henry had gotten married two years ago to Miss Belinda Chamberlain and already had one son. Andrew Jennings, on a visit to him in Glenwood, had met and soon married the middle sister, Fiona.In the letter, Henry had explained that his father and mother-in-law were in town with their youngest daughter, Jane, for the London season. Could William be so kind as to pay a call? Without her two sisters, both of whom were in confinement and expecting a child at any moment, Jane had no one but her parents for ready company in London."I hope you will be able to find some time to visit them, William. My sister-in-law is charming and droll; you will not find it any chore to spend time with her. She is likely a little lonely without her sisters, so I think a friendly face would be welcome."The Chamberlains had indeed welcomed him with open arms."Any friend of Henry and Andrew's must be a friend of ours!" they said whenever he politely protested their constant invitations to tea and dinner. This afternoon, he was to call for Jane and lead her on a tour of the latest exhibition at the Royal Museum.In less than half an hour, he was in the Chamberlains' sitting room, attempting to appear calm as Miss Jane entered with her mother. He clasped her hand as she lifted her pretty face and smiled up at him. Her blue eyes sparkled and her blonde curls shone in the afternoon light.Yes, Jane Chamberlain was the same girl William had just degraded in his fantasy, had made into fuel for his shameful self-pleasure.In fact, ever since he had first met her, calling soon after he had received Henry's letter, she had taken over his fevered mind. Her perky breasts, always displayed in low-cut bodices, and her lush curves kept his cock half hard whenever they were together, and as he had found himself designated as her London tour guide, they were together a lot.Spending so much time in Jane's company was a delectable torture. William found her a very agreeable and charming girl, just as Henry had described. But it was her body, a body that seemed tailor-made for bawdy sex, that made him burn. Whenever he stroked himself, it was Jane that he would guiltily undress in his mind.William could imagine her huge, perky tits bouncing as he fucked her while she lay on her back. He could picture taking her from behind as he massaged and spanked her round ass. In fact, in his fantasies, Jane had done innumerable nasty acts, things he was sure she had never even heard hints of.But he couldn't stop, and in fact, now had to masturbate before their every meeting to take the edge off. Just the sight of Jane's deep décolletage could turn him into a stammering fool. He was having to find more and more creative ways to hide his raging erections, despite his frequent self-pleasuring, and the amount of handkerchiefs he was going through these days was unprecedented.Jane herself seemed to be completely oblivious of the effect she had on him. Her behavior was always perfectly poised and lady-like. She had a wry sense of humor and had often remarked that she enjoyed his company, but he had never detected even a suggestion of flirtation on her part. William found that he liked her more and more as the weeks passed, and had even wondered if he should join his friends in selecting a Chamberlain daughter for his bride.But he just couldn't imagine asking Jane to suck his cock or allow him to eat her cunny, let alone do the dozens of even more debauched acts he constantly envisioned when he took himself in hand. A well-behaved lady such as herself expected sex to be done under the covers in the dark, and to do it only as much as necessary. She wasn't a whore in a brothel, after all. She would want to be treated with the utmost respect, in bed and out.With a start, he became aware that Mrs. Chamberlain was speaking to him. "I hope this won't inconvenience you too much, Mr. Seldon? After all, you can always go to the Royal Museum some other afternoon.""Err, yes?" he said, utterly bewildered. What had he just missed as he mused on Jane's womanly qualities?At that moment, the butler opened the doors of the sitting room and announced, "Dr. Hoffman, ma'am."A distinguished looking older gentleman with a white beard and mustache came in. He executed a stiff bow and nodded at William. "Is this the priest?" he asked in a slight Germanic accent."Yes, doctor, we have invited him just as you asked." Mrs. Chamberlain made the introductions and then asked anxiously, "Where shall the examination take place?"The doctor's sober gray eyes took in the sitting room, elegantly appointed in tasteful furniture. He pointed to a chaise lounge and said, "That shall do very nicely, ma'am. Now, I must ask you to let the priest and I do our work. If mothers are in the room, I have found that it is less likely the patient will be truthful.""Oh, doctor, is that really necessary?" Mrs. Chamberlain fluttered her handkerchief and William finally noticed that she did not seem herself this afternoon. Her eyes were red-rimmed and she showed every indication of bursting into tears at any minute. Jane, on the other hand, looked as serene and self-possessed as ever as she sat primly on a chair. William wondered what on earth was going on."Now, now, Mrs. Chamberlain. You must trust to my methods and let me do what you hired me to do." The doctor's words were calm and reassuring as he led the lady out of the room. "I shall call you when I am ready. Why don't you have a rest in your room upstairs while we are conducting the examination?"Nodding disconsolately, Mrs. Chamberlain sniffled as she exited. Dr. Hoffman closed the door behind her and locked it, pocketing the key. At William's raised eyebrow, he explained, "I have found it is best to ensure privacy from any impertinent servants."Carrying his large, black medical bag towards the chaise lounge, he set it down on a low table. At his direction, William carried two chairs over and placed them right at the end of the low sofa."Now Miss Jane," the doctor said, gesturing towards the girl, who had been quietly watching the proceedings with bright, curious eyes. "Please, come here."Obediently, Jane stood and walked towards them. William tried to catch her eye in inquiry, still being wholly unaware as to what was happening, but she was gazing expectantly at Dr. Hoffman."We shall disrobe now, eh?" that man said, to William's utter amazement. In a state of shock, he watched as Jane docilely turned so that the doctor could begin unbuttoning her simple muslin dress, letting it pool at her feet. He did not stop there; he continued to divest Jane of every item of clothing until all of her perfect loveliness was bared. Then, she was led to the chaise and laid down.By this time, William was feeling slightly dizzy. All of his fantasies for the past several weeks had not prepared him for seeing Jane's creamy, rose-tipped breasts, her alabaster expanse of skin, her delectable nakedness in person. Her tits looked as delicious as he had always imagined, unmarred by any deformity. And they were the perfect size, large handfuls that jiggled with every movement as she settled herself against the brocade fabric cushions."Is this how you want me, doctor?""Yes, yes, that's quite all right, my dear." Dr. Hoffman replied in a brisk, practical tone. "Now where did I put those forceps?" he muttered, rummaging in his bag, not even looking at Jane.William, however, could not help staring. He knew he had an enormous bulge in his trousers, but there was no helping that in the current situation. Jane reclined on one elbow, her other hand lightly tracing her collarbone. He followed the line of her legs to the light patch of blonde curls at their apex. It was impossible to know where to keep his gaze. The enticing vee between her legs beckoned, but so did the swells of her bountiful bosom, her smooth belly, her pink lips.Jane startled him out of his focused perusal of her body by saying, "Thank you ever so much for agreeing to help with the examination, Mr. Seldon."He dragged his eyes to hers, which were sparkling with merriment and mischief. It was difficult to believe, but she did not seem to have any embarrassment or self-consciousness at her nudity. She seemed as tranquil as if they really were just walking through a museum. William, on the other hand, could almost hear his own heart beating."Yes, very important to have a priest on hand," said Dr. Hoffman, turning towards them. "They are always so pure and trustworthy, you see."William only nodded as he swallowed thickly. It wouldn't do to tell the doctor that his thoughts were far from pure at the moment. But he would have said or done anything to stay in that room.The doctor gestured him to one of the chairs and William sat, Jane's ripe, young body laid out before him like a feast.Taking the other chair, Dr. Hoffman set a tray of instruments down on a low end table between them. Then, he guided Jane so that she lay with her bum at the edge of the sofa. He spread her legs, placing her feet on either side of the piece of furniture, and William began to salivate as Jane's perfect, pink cunny came into view.It was glistening slightly and Dr. Hoffman tisked as he leaned forward and swiped a finger through the slick folds. Shaking his head, he held it up to William. "So wet already. I'm afraid this is a serious case, Mr. Seldon.""A serious case of what?" William was still completely bewildered."Why, of sinful lust, of course. You see how her nipples are extended. How engorged her vaginal lips are." He used the same finger to trace her entrance and Jane moaned, eliciting another series of disappointed clucks from the doctor. "And look at her clitoris! It is almost throbbing, you see?" He pinched it between his fingers and Jane gasped."Oh yes, doctor! Please touch it more!" she begged.But Dr. Hoffman just shook his head again and sighed. "I am not sure if there is any treatment for such an extreme case as this, but I promised Mrs. Chamberlain I would at least complete the examination. You, Mr. Seldon, shall help me."He pulled out a notebook and gestured to the tray of instruments. "Now, if you could please insert the brass condenser rod into her rectal cavity?"His hand was trembling slightly, but William eagerly found the long cylindrical instrument, about the thickness of his finger, already coated in oil. Leaning forward, he began to insert it into Jane's arse.There was a slight resistance and Jane let out a whimper. William paused at the sound, looking up and meeting her gaze. There was no trepidation, however, in her expression. Only a fierce hunger in her eyes as she stared back at him. "Oh yes," she whispered as he resumed sliding it slowly inside."Miss Jane, that was placed very easily by Mr. Seldon. Have you ever put anything inside your anus?" the doctor sternly asked as he made notations."Umm, ever so many things," Jane said. She was caressing her breasts now and under William's hot gaze, she pinched and pulled at her nipples."Your mother said you were found in the kitchen yesterday, using a mincing pestle to violate your rectum. Is this true?" The doctor was busily scribbling, completely unaware that William still held the thermometer and was lightly thrusting it back and forth in Jane's tight bum."Yes, doctor," she gasped."Not only is that an abominably unhygienic use of a pestle, Miss Jane, but don't you understand that this is a disgusting and depraved act?" Dr. Hoffman looked up now and William quickly let go of the thermometer, leaving it seated deep inside Jane's ass."Umm, but doctor, it feels so good!" Jane was shifting restlessly on the couch now. Her cunny was gushing fluids, coating the insides of her thighs. William could smell her musky odor and it made him salivate even more."Humph!" The doctor went back to his notebook. "Mr. Seldon, if you would be so kind as to check if Miss Jane's hymen is still intact?""Yes, of course," William said, attempting to hide the excitement in his voice. He spread Jane's lips open with his left hand and with his right, inserted two fingers into her moist depths. His stiff cock gave a twitch as he felt a woman's cunny for the first time in years; it was exquisite. At hearing Jane's appreciative moan, he looked up and saw her watching him, her lids half-lowered. When she licked her lips, William nearly groaned aloud.He circled his fingers in her sopping cunt, relishing its tight heat. The thought of feeling her wonderful cunny wrapped around his cock was causing him to leak precum like a hose in his trousers."Well, Mr. Seldon?""Oh, err, I'm afraid I don't feel anything, doctor."Letting out another one of his disappointed sighs, Dr. Hoffman said, "It is just as her mother feared. She found this in Miss Jane's bedchamber the other day." With his pencil, he tapped a large wooden dildo that was on the tray with the other instruments. "Look at the size of this, sir! Really, Miss Jane, wherever did you get this?""Why, my sister Fiona gave it to me for my eighteenth birthday. She said it was a tradition in our family." William felt a jolt go through him at hearing the name of Andrew Jennings' wife.Dr. Hoffman scoffed. "Tradition! Yes, your mother told me of the scandalous behavior of your sisters. A licentious strain in the family blood, I suppose, although it is very interesting that all three siblings seem to have it."Pulling a handkerchief out of his breast pocket, he offered it to William. "You may cease now, Mr. Seldon. You are being a very cooperative assistant and I am very grateful."Clearing his throat, William politely refused as he reluctantly parted from Jane's cunny. "Ah, no thanks, doctor, I have my own handkerchief just here," he said, reaching into his waistcoat pocket. But instead of using it, William quickly stuck his fingers in his mouth as the doctor turned away. He sucked off Jane's juices, savoring their delicious flavor.

Is it sinfulness; or desire for a blessing?By cocteleo. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.Wednesday night before Thanksgiving, 2010A London Parish VicarReverend William Seldon, vicar of a well-to-do church in London, was having a hard time writing his next sermon. He was in the middle of wrestling with the topic of the evils of lust when his housekeeper knocked on his study door and came in bearing a tea tray.As the plump and comfortable middle-aged woman set it down on his desk, she said, "Begging your pardon, sir, but I thought you might like a bite or two.""Ah yes, thank you, Mrs. Blandford." He set his pen down and rubbed at his tired eyes.His servant gave him a scolding look as she poured him a cup and handed him a plate of biscuits. "You've been working too hard, sir. You need to rest more!"Mrs. Blandford bustled around the small space, straightening and picking up discarded handkerchiefs and odds and ends, and after once more admonishing him to take a break, she left him alone again.William sighed as he distractedly ran his hands through his hair and stared unseeing down at what he had written. The problem wasn't that he had been working too hard. His church was not in the most fashionable part of town, but nor was it in an impoverished part either. There were plenty of middle-class Londoners among his flock, and they were a tame lot who paid their tithes on time. No, he did not worry about their everlasting souls, nor did he worry about his financial status, which was quite comfortable.One paragraph of his sermon caught his eye. "To lust is to submit to the Devil's will. It is a dark and twisted path to hell, and we must do all that we can to maintain purity and innocence of mind. To live healthy and clean is to gain the path of Heaven."William leaned back in his chair, looking at the wall where a portrait of his deceased father hung. His father had also been a vicar and moreover, an extremely moral, upright man. The grim face in the portrait was set in lines of disapproval, as if he knew William's shameful, dark thoughts.If only his problems were as simple as material wealth and the salvation of his congregants! No, his problem was worse, much worse. He struggled mightily for a minute, trying to focus on his sermon, but there was no helping it. With a shameful desperation, he sprang to his feet and locked the door, quickly returning to his desk.After opening the bottom drawer, he easily found and pulled out a booklet from its hiding place. The pages were worn and thin from many readings. He flipped it open to his favorite part, a series of illustrations that began with an extremely well-endowed woman fellating a man with a giant cock. Just the sight of those beloved pages had him immediately hard and ready, and he took his cock out of his breeches and began stroking it with a sigh of pleasure as he gazed hungrily at the naughty pictures.Instead of the woman in the drawings, however, he imagined instead a young woman with curly blonde hair and crystal blue eyes, kneeling before him and wrapping her pink lips around his cock. She was voracious, sucking and licking him with complete abandon and enthusiasm. William could almost feel the moist heat, the sucking pull of her mouth.It had been a long time since he had felt a woman's touch. He and his friend, Andrew Jennings, had gone to quite a few brothels during their university days. There were also several willing barmaids in the local taverns who were always ready for a tumble with randy young students in exchange for a few coins. But ever since he had taken over his London parish as vicar, he felt a heavy weight of responsibility, and could always hear in his mind his father's sober remonstrances to lead his flock by example.Closing his eyes, William focused again on the thought of the young woman's luscious body. Just yesterday, as they were climbing the narrow stairs of the Tower of London, he had allowed her to pass him and she had squeezed by, inadvertently brushing her round arse against the front of his trousers, where he was, as always around her, sporting a substantial bulge. Then, on the way down, she had bumped her large, soft breasts against his chest. He groaned now, remembering the feel of those plump, bouncing orbs. Those simple, innocent touches had kept him hard during the entire excursion, which made it damned difficult to go up and down those stairs!He pumped his dripping member ever harder now, thinking of her ample bosom. In his fantasy, she wrapped her fat tits around his cock, using her tongue on the head as it appeared between the pale mounds with every stroke. He fisted himself ever faster, nearing his release, panting now. William turned the page again to see the woman laid out on her back, taking that huge cock into her cunt. In his imaginings, her face transformed into one of ripe, young innocence, trusting and loving as he thrust into her tight, wet cunny. When she licked her lips and gave him a sultry smile, William was done for."Oh fuck!" he grunted as he came, his balls boiling with pleasure. He caught his seed in his handkerchief before it could soil his shirt, and gave his cock a few more slow strokes, savoring the echoes of his blissful release.Fleetingly, he thought of the last time he had lain with a woman, during an orgy that he and Andrew had attended as a last hurrah before being ordained a few years ago. He had fucked so many women that night, his cock had been slightly raw the next day. There was one busty woman that he had pounded into from behind while she sucked on Andrew's shaft, moaning lasciviously the whole time. Her cunny had felt so tight and hot and wet, and her round ass had bounced appealingly with every thrust. Three years was too long to go celibate, perhaps. It was as good as any reason to blame for his recent insatiable sexual appetite.As soon as his lusty urges had been sated, he was again filled with the same shame and self-admonishment that had been haunting him more and more lately. Groaning, he crumpled the handkerchief into a ball and buttoned himself back up. Mrs. Blandford must wonder why he went through so many handkerchiefs every day.With a heavy sigh, tinged with guilt, he carefully put away the dirty picture book and turned again to his sermon. Lust! He felt like such a fraud. He couldn't even go one day without stroking himself off. In fact, he often did it two or three times a day now.The Chamberlains in LondonThe clock on the mantel chimed the hour and William stood, both trepidation and excitement filling him. It was time to call on the Chamberlains'.Two months ago, he had received a letter from another Oxford friend, Henry Carter. Henry had gotten married two years ago to Miss Belinda Chamberlain and already had one son. Andrew Jennings, on a visit to him in Glenwood, had met and soon married the middle sister, Fiona.In the letter, Henry had explained that his father and mother-in-law were in town with their youngest daughter, Jane, for the London season. Could William be so kind as to pay a call? Without her two sisters, both of whom were in confinement and expecting a child at any moment, Jane had no one but her parents for ready company in London."I hope you will be able to find some time to visit them, William. My sister-in-law is charming and droll; you will not find it any chore to spend time with her. She is likely a little lonely without her sisters, so I think a friendly face would be welcome."The Chamberlains had indeed welcomed him with open arms."Any friend of Henry and Andrew's must be a friend of ours!" they said whenever he politely protested their constant invitations to tea and dinner. This afternoon, he was to call for Jane and lead her on a tour of the latest exhibition at the Royal Museum.In less than half an hour, he was in the Chamberlains' sitting room, attempting to appear calm as Miss Jane entered with her mother. He clasped her hand as she lifted her pretty face and smiled up at him. Her blue eyes sparkled and her blonde curls shone in the afternoon light.Yes, Jane Chamberlain was the same girl William had just degraded in his fantasy, had made into fuel for his shameful self-pleasure.In fact, ever since he had first met her, calling soon after he had received Henry's letter, she had taken over his fevered mind. Her perky breasts, always displayed in low-cut bodices, and her lush curves kept his cock half hard whenever they were together, and as he had found himself designated as her London tour guide, they were together a lot.Spending so much time in Jane's company was a delectable torture. William found her a very agreeable and charming girl, just as Henry had described. But it was her body, a body that seemed tailor-made for bawdy sex, that made him burn. Whenever he stroked himself, it was Jane that he would guiltily undress in his mind.William could imagine her huge, perky tits bouncing as he fucked her while she lay on her back. He could picture taking her from behind as he massaged and spanked her round ass. In fact, in his fantasies, Jane had done innumerable nasty acts, things he was sure she had never even heard hints of.But he couldn't stop, and in fact, now had to masturbate before their every meeting to take the edge off. Just the sight of Jane's deep décolletage could turn him into a stammering fool. He was having to find more and more creative ways to hide his raging erections, despite his frequent self-pleasuring, and the amount of handkerchiefs he was going through these days was unprecedented.Jane herself seemed to be completely oblivious of the effect she had on him. Her behavior was always perfectly poised and lady-like. She had a wry sense of humor and had often remarked that she enjoyed his company, but he had never detected even a suggestion of flirtation on her part. William found that he liked her more and more as the weeks passed, and had even wondered if he should join his friends in selecting a Chamberlain daughter for his bride.But he just couldn't imagine asking Jane to suck his cock or allow him to eat her cunny, let alone do the dozens of even more debauched acts he constantly envisioned when he took himself in hand. A well-behaved lady such as herself expected sex to be done under the covers in the dark, and to do it only as much as necessary. She wasn't a whore in a brothel, after all. She would want to be treated with the utmost respect, in bed and out.With a start, he became aware that Mrs. Chamberlain was speaking to him. "I hope this won't inconvenience you too much, Mr. Seldon? After all, you can always go to the Royal Museum some other afternoon.""Err, yes?" he said, utterly bewildered. What had he just missed as he mused on Jane's womanly qualities?At that moment, the butler opened the doors of the sitting room and announced, "Dr. Hoffman, ma'am."A distinguished looking older gentleman with a white beard and mustache came in. He executed a stiff bow and nodded at William. "Is this the priest?" he asked in a slight Germanic accent."Yes, doctor, we have invited him just as you asked." Mrs. Chamberlain made the introductions and then asked anxiously, "Where shall the examination take place?"The doctor's sober gray eyes took in the sitting room, elegantly appointed in tasteful furniture. He pointed to a chaise lounge and said, "That shall do very nicely, ma'am. Now, I must ask you to let the priest and I do our work. If mothers are in the room, I have found that it is less likely the patient will be truthful.""Oh, doctor, is that really necessary?" Mrs. Chamberlain fluttered her handkerchief and William finally noticed that she did not seem herself this afternoon. Her eyes were red-rimmed and she showed every indication of bursting into tears at any minute. Jane, on the other hand, looked as serene and self-possessed as ever as she sat primly on a chair. William wondered what on earth was going on."Now, now, Mrs. Chamberlain. You must trust to my methods and let me do what you hired me to do." The doctor's words were calm and reassuring as he led the lady out of the room. "I shall call you when I am ready. Why don't you have a rest in your room upstairs while we are conducting the examination?"Nodding disconsolately, Mrs. Chamberlain sniffled as she exited. Dr. Hoffman closed the door behind her and locked it, pocketing the key. At William's raised eyebrow, he explained, "I have found it is best to ensure privacy from any impertinent servants."Carrying his large, black medical bag towards the chaise lounge, he set it down on a low table. At his direction, William carried two chairs over and placed them right at the end of the low sofa."Now Miss Jane," the doctor said, gesturing towards the girl, who had been quietly watching the proceedings with bright, curious eyes. "Please, come here."Obediently, Jane stood and walked towards them. William tried to catch her eye in inquiry, still being wholly unaware as to what was happening, but she was gazing expectantly at Dr. Hoffman."We shall disrobe now, eh?" that man said, to William's utter amazement. In a state of shock, he watched as Jane docilely turned so that the doctor could begin unbuttoning her simple muslin dress, letting it pool at her feet. He did not stop there; he continued to divest Jane of every item of clothing until all of her perfect loveliness was bared. Then, she was led to the chaise and laid down.By this time, William was feeling slightly dizzy. All of his fantasies for the past several weeks had not prepared him for seeing Jane's creamy, rose-tipped breasts, her alabaster expanse of skin, her delectable nakedness in person. Her tits looked as delicious as he had always imagined, unmarred by any deformity. And they were the perfect size, large handfuls that jiggled with every movement as she settled herself against the brocade fabric cushions."Is this how you want me, doctor?""Yes, yes, that's quite all right, my dear." Dr. Hoffman replied in a brisk, practical tone. "Now where did I put those forceps?" he muttered, rummaging in his bag, not even looking at Jane.William, however, could not help staring. He knew he had an enormous bulge in his trousers, but there was no helping that in the current situation. Jane reclined on one elbow, her other hand lightly tracing her collarbone. He followed the line of her legs to the light patch of blonde curls at their apex. It was impossible to know where to keep his gaze. The enticing vee between her legs beckoned, but so did the swells of her bountiful bosom, her smooth belly, her pink lips.Jane startled him out of his focused perusal of her body by saying, "Thank you ever so much for agreeing to help with the examination, Mr. Seldon."He dragged his eyes to hers, which were sparkling with merriment and mischief. It was difficult to believe, but she did not seem to have any embarrassment or self-consciousness at her nudity. She seemed as tranquil as if they really were just walking through a museum. William, on the other hand, could almost hear his own heart beating."Yes, very important to have a priest on hand," said Dr. Hoffman, turning towards them. "They are always so pure and trustworthy, you see."William only nodded as he swallowed thickly. It wouldn't do to tell the doctor that his thoughts were far from pure at the moment. But he would have said or done anything to stay in that room.The doctor gestured him to one of the chairs and William sat, Jane's ripe, young body laid out before him like a feast.Taking the other chair, Dr. Hoffman set a tray of instruments down on a low end table between them. Then, he guided Jane so that she lay with her bum at the edge of the sofa. He spread her legs, placing her feet on either side of the piece of furniture, and William began to salivate as Jane's perfect, pink cunny came into view.It was glistening slightly and Dr. Hoffman tisked as he leaned forward and swiped a finger through the slick folds. Shaking his head, he held it up to William. "So wet already. I'm afraid this is a serious case, Mr. Seldon.""A serious case of what?" William was still completely bewildered."Why, of sinful lust, of course. You see how her nipples are extended. How engorged her vaginal lips are." He used the same finger to trace her entrance and Jane moaned, eliciting another series of disappointed clucks from the doctor. "And look at her clitoris! It is almost throbbing, you see?" He pinched it between his fingers and Jane gasped."Oh yes, doctor! Please touch it more!" she begged.But Dr. Hoffman just shook his head again and sighed. "I am not sure if there is any treatment for such an extreme case as this, but I promised Mrs. Chamberlain I would at least complete the examination. You, Mr. Seldon, shall help me."He pulled out a notebook and gestured to the tray of instruments. "Now, if you could please insert the brass condenser rod into her rectal cavity?"His hand was trembling slightly, but William eagerly found the long cylindrical instrument, about the thickness of his finger, already coated in oil. Leaning forward, he began to insert it into Jane's arse.There was a slight resistance and Jane let out a whimper. William paused at the sound, looking up and meeting her gaze. There was no trepidation, however, in her expression. Only a fierce hunger in her eyes as she stared back at him. "Oh yes," she whispered as he resumed sliding it slowly inside."Miss Jane, that was placed very easily by Mr. Seldon. Have you ever put anything inside your anus?" the doctor sternly asked as he made notations."Umm, ever so many things," Jane said. She was caressing her breasts now and under William's hot gaze, she pinched and pulled at her nipples."Your mother said you were found in the kitchen yesterday, using a mincing pestle to violate your rectum. Is this true?" The doctor was busily scribbling, completely unaware that William still held the thermometer and was lightly thrusting it back and forth in Jane's tight bum."Yes, doctor," she gasped."Not only is that an abominably unhygienic use of a pestle, Miss Jane, but don't you understand that this is a disgusting and depraved act?" Dr. Hoffman looked up now and William quickly let go of the thermometer, leaving it seated deep inside Jane's ass."Umm, but doctor, it feels so good!" Jane was shifting restlessly on the couch now. Her cunny was gushing fluids, coating the insides of her thighs. William could smell her musky odor and it made him salivate even more."Humph!" The doctor went back to his notebook. "Mr. Seldon, if you would be so kind as to check if Miss Jane's hymen is still intact?""Yes, of course," William said, attempting to hide the excitement in his voice. He spread Jane's lips open with his left hand and with his right, inserted two fingers into her moist depths. His stiff cock gave a twitch as he felt a woman's cunny for the first time in years; it was exquisite. At hearing Jane's appreciative moan, he looked up and saw her watching him, her lids half-lowered. When she licked her lips, William nearly groaned aloud.He circled his fingers in her sopping cunt, relishing its tight heat. The thought of feeling her wonderful cunny wrapped around his cock was causing him to leak precum like a hose in his trousers."Well, Mr. Seldon?""Oh, err, I'm afraid I don't feel anything, doctor."Letting out another one of his disappointed sighs, Dr. Hoffman said, "It is just as her mother feared. She found this in Miss Jane's bedchamber the other day." With his pencil, he tapped a large wooden dildo that was on the tray with the other instruments. "Look at the size of this, sir! Really, Miss Jane, wherever did you get this?""Why, my sister Fiona gave it to me for my eighteenth birthday. She said it was a tradition in our family." William felt a jolt go through him at hearing the name of Andrew Jennings' wife.Dr. Hoffman scoffed. "Tradition! Yes, your mother told me of the scandalous behavior of your sisters. A licentious strain in the family blood, I suppose, although it is very interesting that all three siblings seem to have it."Pulling a handkerchief out of his breast pocket, he offered it to William. "You may cease now, Mr. Seldon. You are being a very cooperative assistant and I am very grateful."Clearing his throat, William politely refused as he reluctantly parted from Jane's cunny. "Ah, no thanks, doctor, I have my own handkerchief just here," he said, reaching into his waistcoat pocket. But instead of using it, William quickly stuck his fingers in his mouth as the doctor turned away. He sucked off Jane's juices, savoring their delicious flavor.

Reverend Henry is tempted by sin; or perhaps something else?By cocteleo. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.Wednesday night before Thanksgiving, 2010It is the Regency era, in England. King George the 3rd is mentally ill and has lost the American colonies through his unstable rule. Prince George the 4th became the kingdom's regent and restored calm and elevated culture, society, and piety. The social classes are clearly defined, but everyone lives in fear of descending to a lower class through poverty or lesser associations.The Belle of GlenwoodMr. Henry Carter, curate of the Anglican parish of Glenwood, was having a hard time adjusting to his new role. He had recently obtained his position several months ago, working under the rector, a stout man in his 50s, Mr. Niles Brewer.Henry, being a very devout young person of age 24, was shocked when he had arrived in Glenwood and become aware of the indolent practice of Mr. Brewer. The rector did perhaps two hours of work every week, sending Henry to do the rest as he relaxed in his study with a novel and a plate of cookies.It had been a stroke of luck, or so he had thought, when Henry had been offered the curacy at Glenwood. It was a prosperous parish, and his living now exceeded that of many of his friends at university. But the indifferent way in which Mr. Brewer conducted church business was, well, unholy! To counteract his employer's laziness, Henry threw himself into the community, working feverishly on sermons in between attending to all of the baptisms, marriages, and funerals, as well as visiting the poor.Mr. Brewer just laughed. "Don't work too hard, my boy!" he would say in his jovial, booming voice. "The church will get along fine with just a Sunday sermon and a sacrament here and there. No need to go to all of that trouble."His careless words just seemed to make the fervor in Henry grow even brighter. He had visions of glory in which the people of Glenwood would hail him as a stalwart leader of the community, when they would sit in rapturous silence and drink in his inspiring words from the pulpit every Sunday.This afternoon, he walked along the village street, completely unaware of the attention his tall, broad-shouldered figure, clad all in black, generated among the women of Glenwood. Any eligible young man newly arrived to the neighborhood was a welcome sight; for him to be handsome, with a thick thatch of black hair and serious gray eyes, was an exciting bonus. Henry, his head full of romantic notions of the clergy, hardly noticed the teasing looks directed his way. He had sometimes thought the young ladies of the parish were a little more than attentive, but his brain was too much in an abstract fog to notice, which of course added to his mysterious appeal.He was on his way to the house of Mr. and Mrs. Chamberlain, wealthy landowners with three young daughters. The oldest, Belinda, had just turned 18 and had come out the season before. She was generally recognized to be the belle of Glenwood, with beautiful, curling blonde hair and the face of an angel with wide, blue eyes. Her body had ripened becomingly into lush curves that stirred the fantasies of all the young men in the village. All the young men except for Henry, of course.Henry arrived at the door and the unsmiling butler led him to Mr. Chamberlain's study. The older gentleman was of the round, red-faced variety and he waved Henry in. "Come in, come in, Mr. Carter. I must say, I'm very glad to see you." He took a handkerchief out of his pocket and mopped his sweaty brow."How may I be of service, Mr. Chamberlain? Your message sounded most urgent." Henry sat down across the desk."Well, well," Mr. Chamberlain coughed. He seemed to be having trouble with his words. Henry waited patiently. "You see, Mr. Carter, the trouble is with Belinda.""Belinda?" Henry searched his memory. "Your eldest daughter, you mean?""Yes, her." For a few seconds, Mr. Chamberlain's face grew so red that Henry was alarmed. Should the old gentleman have sent for a doctor instead of a clergyman? But Mr. Chamberlain shook himself and started again."It has come to our attention-- That is, the missus and I have discovered-- Well, Belinda has been acting very strangely of late. Yesterday, the housekeeper found her--ahem--exhibiting herself to the gardener in the greenhouse. This was, unfortunately, not the first time." Mr. Chamberlain pulled at his collar and Henry cleared his throat, feeling suddenly discomfited as well. The small study seemed to grow close and hot."She has been giving us trouble for some time now. We have caught her with the butcher's boy in the shed. And there was that time our friend Mr. Allenby came to stay... He was absolutely shocked at her behavior. Shocked to his toes!" He harrumphed and opened a drawer in his desk, bringing out a long, thick object. Henry stared as Mr. Chamberlain dropped it on the desk with a loud, wooden thud. "And Mrs. Chamberlain found this in her bedchamber the other day."Henry leaned forward to inspect it more closely. It was carved in the shape of a phallus. A rather large phallus, from Henry's experience in all of his years of boarding school and university."Who knows where she got this!" Mr. Chamberlain said in an explosive grunt. "She won't tell us, and we are at our wits' end. As you know, Mr. Carter, a young lady's reputation is all she has, and my wife and I are worried that Belinda's marriage prospects, not to mention those of her younger sisters, will be utterly ruined if word gets out of her wanton behavior."Henry gazed at his host in utter bewilderment. "But sir, why am I here? What do you expect me to do?""How the hell should I know?" Mr. Chamberlain was gruff in his own ignorance of how to handle his lusty daughter. "You're the clergyman. Talk to her and fix this!"He stood up and rang the bell and as Henry sputtered in his seat, the door opened and in walked Belinda.For once, Henry did not have his head in the clouds, thinking of his next sermon. It was the first time he had really seen the girl without blindly passing his gaze over her, and the blonde's beauty stunned him into a brief stupor. Before he knew it, Mr. Chamberlain had slammed the door behind him, leaving them alone in the study, which all of a sudden felt suffocatingly small.Belinda, for her part, took Henry in with a long glance. His strong jaw was taut and his gray eyes stormy. She curtsied and walked forward. He hastily jumped to his feet and bowed."Miss Belinda!" he said, in a slightly strangled voice."Good afternoon, Mr. Carter," she responded, her honeyed voice raising the little hairs on the back of his neck.Ever since he had gotten over his awkward teen years, Henry had devoted himself wholesale to his studies. He had even thought of taking a vow of celibacy, not wanting the sins of the flesh to distract him from his dream of becoming an archdeacon. Thus, it had been a long time since he had felt any stirring in his nether regions, and his cheeks took on a hot flush when he realized his cock was coming to life at the sight of Belinda's ripe body, clad in a simple navy dress.He abruptly sat down again to hide his uncomfortable state and attempted to take control of the situation. The young girl was standing before him now, the large desk behind her. The light from the windows beyond created a nimbus around her figure and Henry swallowed hard at the irony of this angelic-looking creature hiding such sinful desires."Miss Belinda," he began, "Your father has charged me with the task of curing you of your unnatural proclivities."Belinda merely continued looking at him, with a serene smile on her lovely countenance. She leaned back against the desk, her hands resting on its surface. The position seemed to push her ample bosom up higher, already straining at the tight confines of her bodice."I-I command you to stop this behavior at once. God does not look kindly on those who indulge in the seven deadly sins, and as you know, lust is one of the" Henry trailed off, suddenly realizing two things. One, that in his rush to exit, Mr. Chamberlain had left the wooden phallus out on his desk, and two, Belinda's slender fingers were now caressing it.He started when Belinda said, "Continue, Mr. Carter. You were saying something about lust?"Henry dragged his eyes from where Belinda's delicate, white hand was stroking that unholy instrument. Her face looked as angelic as ever."Ahem, yes. As I was saying, God will punish those who give in to their base desires. You are a good girl, Miss Belinda," Henry said, although with a swelling of doubt in his heart. "Don't you want to reach the gates of Heaven?""Oh but Mr. Carter," she said. "I have discovered a Heaven here on our Earthly plane. It is the most blessed feeling, and I feel sure God would not disapprove."Henry's face grew red at her implication and he stammered again. "Tha; that is for me to say, Miss Belinda. And I say again, that God will punish you with the fires of hell for your sinful actions."Belinda did not seem to be affected by his threats. Instead, she ran a hand over the enticing swell of her breasts down over her skirts before she cupped her sex between her thighs, her white skin in contrast to the dark blue of her dress."But sir," she purred wickedly. "I have such an ache, just here. How shall I fill this ache in a way that God will approve?" She brought the large, wooden phallus down and thrust it where her hand had been, the fabric of her dress and underthings bunching with it.Henry was open-mouthed now, his brow sheened with sweat. He tugged at his collar and cleared his throat, but seemed to have nothing more to say at the moment."I feel so empty all the time," Belinda pouted as she continued to thrust the instrument between her outspread thighs. With her other hand, she massaged her right breast, tweaking her nipple, which Henry could see straining through the fabric. "I need to be filled so bad!"She pulled her generous neckline down, exposing one perfect, creamy breast, tipped with a rosy pink bud."Miss Belinda!" Henry made to stand, but all of a sudden, Belinda slid up onto the desk and pushed her stockinged foot down, right onto the large bulge in his black breeches. Henry gripped the arms of the chair as he groaned at the feel of her small foot on his clothed cock. She must have taken her shoes off while she stood there tempting him; he glanced down to see her slippers in a haphazard heap on the rug."Why, Mr. Carter!" Belinda's voice became husky and even more alluring. "What's this? Are you also filled with an ache? An ache that only a Heavenly act can relieve?" She ran her toes over his huge bulge and hummed appreciatively. "I can tell you've been gifted by God with an instrument of large size. Is it as big as this?"She brought the phallus up to her mouth now and stuck out her little pink tongue to give it a long lick.Henry whimpered in his chair, his cock an unyielding rod of iron. The sight of Belinda's rosebud mouth engaging in such an obscene act was inflaming him with the Devil's own power. "No, no," he said when Belinda began lifting her skirts. She propped her other foot up on the desk beside her, the nimble limb long and white, encased in a cream-colored stocking up to her knee. As she uncovered her sex, Henry was horrified to see that she was entirely bare."Oh, yes!" said Belinda, still pressing her dainty foot against his rock-hard crotch. She ran her fingers through her downy curls, glistening with moisture. "Umm," she said as she rubbed the apex of her cunny, "This is where it aches the most. And when I touch it, I feel as if God himself has touched me."She circled her clit in hungry movements, moaning around the wooden phallus in her mouth. "Mr. Carter, it feels so good!""It's the Devil, Miss Belinda!" Henry choked out. Belinda's little toes squeezed his cock and his eyes rolled back in his head as she gave a small, delighted laugh."I don't think so, Mr. Carter. It must be a higher power of good at work, not evil." She spread her cunny lips open and Henry groaned at the sight of her pulsing slit, dripping with her juices. "And when I do this, it feels as if the Heavens have opened."Belinda brought the wooden instrument, now shining wetly with the efforts of her tongue, to her cunny's opening and began to work it inside with short thrusts, all the time letting out the most delicious and lascivious cries of pleasure. "Oh yes, Mr. Carter!" she said when it was hilted several inches in her tight cunny. She held it in while she frigged her clit with her other hand. "Umm, I love it so much!"She began to slide the phallus in and out of her sopping cunt and it made lewd, wet noises every time she thrust it home again. "Oh fuck!" she cried out, her hands a blur between her thighs.Henry thought he might faint. The exquisite pressure of her foot on his cock, along with the mouth-watering smell that was coming from Belinda's soaked cunny, was making him light-headed. He tried to grasp at the Lord's Prayer with his dazed mind. It had never before failed to center and strengthen his devout conviction, but it certainly failed him now. All he could see and hear was Belinda, her luscious, enticing body making him want things he shouldn't."Oh, I'm going to come, Mr. Carter!" she cried out now, pounding her cunny with the phallus. Every time she said his name, Henry's cock jumped and seemed to grow even harder. He squirmed in the chair, his eyes glued to the sight of Belinda's violent release."Yes!" she hissed as she shuddered in obvious bliss, her hips writhing on the desk. She slapped at her cunny, each strike making a filthy, wet sound amid her nasty moans. On the final slap, she slid the phallus out and her cunny gushed with a flood of juices all over the carpet as she moaned, long and loud.The sight sent Henry overboard and he groaned in ecstatic release as his cock pulsed, staining his breeches with a dark patch of moisture. His hands held onto the arms of the chair with a white-knuckled grip as he came, the pleasure so overwhelming that he did not notice a smirking Belinda slide to her knees between his legs."Ahh!" he yelped when he felt her hands on his sensitive member, fishing him out of his breeches. He looked down just in time to see Belinda open that pink, rosebud mouth and engulf his softening cock, glistening with his seed."Oh my Lord!" he cried out, his hands automatically coming to her head to push her away, but for some reason, his fingers tightened around her golden curls instead. When he felt her small hand fondle his balls and his cock harden once more in her hot, velvet mouth, he whimpered."Umm, Mr. Carter, delicious!" Belinda said, popping off his stiff shaft with a long suck. "You're so big! You're bigger than any other man I've seen!" Henry had indeed been blessed by God in that department. Belinda's hand looked tiny, barely encasing his thick girth, and it was longer even than her wooden phallus. She had a greedy look in her eyes as she stroked and licked up and down his engorged length."I can't wait until you fuck me with this huge cock, Mr. Carter!" she said, twisting her hands around him as she took him again into the moist cavern of her mouth.His head lolling on the back of the chair, blinding pleasure running through him, Henry could only moan weakly, "No, no, the Devil's work.""Nonsense!" Belinda said in her low, soothing voice, all the while continuing her depraved movements with her hands and lips. "You know as well as I do that once a man and woman are married, the joining of two bodies is celebrated."She leaned forward and took one of his balls in her mouth, rolling it around with her tongue until he gave a loud groan. "If we're married, Henry, then we can do this every day with God's blessing. In fact, I think God would allow it even if we were engaged!"Henry vaguely registered the fact that she had just used his Christian name. His thoughts were in a whirl of wanton destruction. He could not focus as she tortured him with her unholy touch. But when that touch suddenly left him, he groaned in disappointment.He lifted his head and saw that Belinda was lying on her back on the carpet now, her skirts rucked up to her waist and her legs wide open to expose her swollen, pink cunny. Her beautiful tits were both out now, squeezed together between her arms. She was rubbing herself again with two hands, lewdly spreading her juices all over her puffy lower lips."Don't you want to fuck me, Henry? Don't you want to stick your huge, hard cock inside me?" She spread herself open and he salivated at the sight of that enticing, dark hole."Umm, Henry, I want to be your wife," Belinda continued as she slipped her fingers all around her wet core. "You could fuck me every night, every day, every hour if we were married! Don't you want that, Henry?" Her voice was honeyed seduction and Henry dropped to his knees in front of her, his enormous cock straining out in front of him, drawn to the indecent sight of Belinda's fingers pushing into her cunny.She brought them up to her mouth and licked them and Henry moaned at the sight, his cock now pressed against her entrance, slick and silky."Say you'll marry me, Henry. Say it!" Belinda drew her tongue over her bottom lip, her bright blue eyes mesmerizing him. She brought her fingers to her perky nipples and pinched them, letting out a grunt as her hips shifted against him."Yes, yes!" Henry whispered, and then crammed his monster cock into her tight, pulsing heat."Fuck! Yes!" Belinda cried, her body straining to accommodate his huge size. "Oh my God, you're so big!" She wiggled and squirmed as he relentlessly drove into her, gaining another inch with every thrust until he was pounding his entire length into her as she moaned in satisfaction and gripped his ass hard, urging him on.Henry's hands were braced on each side of Belinda's head, and he stared down at her, watching as pleasure washed over her features. He had never seen anything so beautiful as she, with her clear, azure gaze fixed on him in an expression of love and devotion.He looked down to see his cock pummeling her tight cunt, her opening stretched around him, and her creamy breasts bouncing with every thrust. Groaning at the sight, his hips began to move faster as the pleasure built and built inside of him."You feel so good, Henry," Belinda said and he lifted his head to meet her gaze again. Her eyelids had lowered and a flush had stolen over her porcelain complexion. "Keep going, harder, harder! Fuck, Henry, I'm going to come again! I'm going to come all over your cock!"And as Henry felt her channel grip his member over and over in its velvet grasp as Belinda shook and moaned beneath him, he closed his eyes and commended his soul to the Lord.His balls tightened and after hammering his huge member into that spasming cunny several more times, his cock burst in an eruption of cum. His sticky seed shot into Belinda's sucking womb with force, pumping with orgasmic pulses. "Oh my fucking God!" he cried out, shuddering as the intense pleasure overwhelmed him, flowing out of his shaft in waves of bliss. He ground his pelvis into her for a long minute before collapsing on top of her, panting heavily his mind in a daze. As Belinda ran her hands up and down his back, she let out a laugh, low and triumphant.Fifteen minutes later, Henry was standing next to Belinda in front of her parents in the sitting room. He was stammering out an explanation of their sudden engagement as she held his hand. She wore an extremely satisfied smile on her beautiful face. Mr. and Mrs. Chamberlain were, of course, flummoxed by this recent news, but they were not unpleased. It was a relief to finally get their troublesome daughter off their hands, after all.As for Belinda, it would be some time before she confessed to her husband, late one night while she rode his cock, that she had planned to snare him from the start. "An angel came to me in a dream," she explained, pulling a moan out of Henry, writhing beneath her, as she leaned back and squeezed his balls in her hand. "And the angel told me what a big cock you had!"Fiona's CuriosityFiona, middle daughter of the Chamberlain family, was having a hard time sleeping. In fact, for the past year, ever since her older sister Belinda had married Henry Carter, the local curate, she had been having trouble sleeping.The crux of the problem was that Mr. Brewer was still the rector of Glenwood, and thus occupied the rectory with his wife and family. Henry had been renting rooms in the village, but after the wedding, he had taken up residence at the Chamberlains' very large manor house, sharing quarters with his new wife in the east wing.Unfortunately, Fiona also slept in the east wing. Her bedchamber was right next to that of the young couple, and the walls were lamentably thin.

Reverend Henry is tempted by sin; or perhaps something else?By cocteleo. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.Wednesday night before Thanksgiving, 2010It is the Regency era, in England. King George the 3rd is mentally ill and has lost the American colonies through his unstable rule. Prince George the 4th became the kingdom's regent and restored calm and elevated culture, society, and piety. The social classes are clearly defined, but everyone lives in fear of descending to a lower class through poverty or lesser associations.The Belle of GlenwoodMr. Henry Carter, curate of the Anglican parish of Glenwood, was having a hard time adjusting to his new role. He had recently obtained his position several months ago, working under the rector, a stout man in his 50s, Mr. Niles Brewer.Henry, being a very devout young person of age 24, was shocked when he had arrived in Glenwood and become aware of the indolent practice of Mr. Brewer. The rector did perhaps two hours of work every week, sending Henry to do the rest as he relaxed in his study with a novel and a plate of cookies.It had been a stroke of luck, or so he had thought, when Henry had been offered the curacy at Glenwood. It was a prosperous parish, and his living now exceeded that of many of his friends at university. But the indifferent way in which Mr. Brewer conducted church business was, well, unholy! To counteract his employer's laziness, Henry threw himself into the community, working feverishly on sermons in between attending to all of the baptisms, marriages, and funerals, as well as visiting the poor.Mr. Brewer just laughed. "Don't work too hard, my boy!" he would say in his jovial, booming voice. "The church will get along fine with just a Sunday sermon and a sacrament here and there. No need to go to all of that trouble."His careless words just seemed to make the fervor in Henry grow even brighter. He had visions of glory in which the people of Glenwood would hail him as a stalwart leader of the community, when they would sit in rapturous silence and drink in his inspiring words from the pulpit every Sunday.This afternoon, he walked along the village street, completely unaware of the attention his tall, broad-shouldered figure, clad all in black, generated among the women of Glenwood. Any eligible young man newly arrived to the neighborhood was a welcome sight; for him to be handsome, with a thick thatch of black hair and serious gray eyes, was an exciting bonus. Henry, his head full of romantic notions of the clergy, hardly noticed the teasing looks directed his way. He had sometimes thought the young ladies of the parish were a little more than attentive, but his brain was too much in an abstract fog to notice, which of course added to his mysterious appeal.He was on his way to the house of Mr. and Mrs. Chamberlain, wealthy landowners with three young daughters. The oldest, Belinda, had just turned 18 and had come out the season before. She was generally recognized to be the belle of Glenwood, with beautiful, curling blonde hair and the face of an angel with wide, blue eyes. Her body had ripened becomingly into lush curves that stirred the fantasies of all the young men in the village. All the young men except for Henry, of course.Henry arrived at the door and the unsmiling butler led him to Mr. Chamberlain's study. The older gentleman was of the round, red-faced variety and he waved Henry in. "Come in, come in, Mr. Carter. I must say, I'm very glad to see you." He took a handkerchief out of his pocket and mopped his sweaty brow."How may I be of service, Mr. Chamberlain? Your message sounded most urgent." Henry sat down across the desk."Well, well," Mr. Chamberlain coughed. He seemed to be having trouble with his words. Henry waited patiently. "You see, Mr. Carter, the trouble is with Belinda.""Belinda?" Henry searched his memory. "Your eldest daughter, you mean?""Yes, her." For a few seconds, Mr. Chamberlain's face grew so red that Henry was alarmed. Should the old gentleman have sent for a doctor instead of a clergyman? But Mr. Chamberlain shook himself and started again."It has come to our attention-- That is, the missus and I have discovered-- Well, Belinda has been acting very strangely of late. Yesterday, the housekeeper found her--ahem--exhibiting herself to the gardener in the greenhouse. This was, unfortunately, not the first time." Mr. Chamberlain pulled at his collar and Henry cleared his throat, feeling suddenly discomfited as well. The small study seemed to grow close and hot."She has been giving us trouble for some time now. We have caught her with the butcher's boy in the shed. And there was that time our friend Mr. Allenby came to stay... He was absolutely shocked at her behavior. Shocked to his toes!" He harrumphed and opened a drawer in his desk, bringing out a long, thick object. Henry stared as Mr. Chamberlain dropped it on the desk with a loud, wooden thud. "And Mrs. Chamberlain found this in her bedchamber the other day."Henry leaned forward to inspect it more closely. It was carved in the shape of a phallus. A rather large phallus, from Henry's experience in all of his years of boarding school and university."Who knows where she got this!" Mr. Chamberlain said in an explosive grunt. "She won't tell us, and we are at our wits' end. As you know, Mr. Carter, a young lady's reputation is all she has, and my wife and I are worried that Belinda's marriage prospects, not to mention those of her younger sisters, will be utterly ruined if word gets out of her wanton behavior."Henry gazed at his host in utter bewilderment. "But sir, why am I here? What do you expect me to do?""How the hell should I know?" Mr. Chamberlain was gruff in his own ignorance of how to handle his lusty daughter. "You're the clergyman. Talk to her and fix this!"He stood up and rang the bell and as Henry sputtered in his seat, the door opened and in walked Belinda.For once, Henry did not have his head in the clouds, thinking of his next sermon. It was the first time he had really seen the girl without blindly passing his gaze over her, and the blonde's beauty stunned him into a brief stupor. Before he knew it, Mr. Chamberlain had slammed the door behind him, leaving them alone in the study, which all of a sudden felt suffocatingly small.Belinda, for her part, took Henry in with a long glance. His strong jaw was taut and his gray eyes stormy. She curtsied and walked forward. He hastily jumped to his feet and bowed."Miss Belinda!" he said, in a slightly strangled voice."Good afternoon, Mr. Carter," she responded, her honeyed voice raising the little hairs on the back of his neck.Ever since he had gotten over his awkward teen years, Henry had devoted himself wholesale to his studies. He had even thought of taking a vow of celibacy, not wanting the sins of the flesh to distract him from his dream of becoming an archdeacon. Thus, it had been a long time since he had felt any stirring in his nether regions, and his cheeks took on a hot flush when he realized his cock was coming to life at the sight of Belinda's ripe body, clad in a simple navy dress.He abruptly sat down again to hide his uncomfortable state and attempted to take control of the situation. The young girl was standing before him now, the large desk behind her. The light from the windows beyond created a nimbus around her figure and Henry swallowed hard at the irony of this angelic-looking creature hiding such sinful desires."Miss Belinda," he began, "Your father has charged me with the task of curing you of your unnatural proclivities."Belinda merely continued looking at him, with a serene smile on her lovely countenance. She leaned back against the desk, her hands resting on its surface. The position seemed to push her ample bosom up higher, already straining at the tight confines of her bodice."I-I command you to stop this behavior at once. God does not look kindly on those who indulge in the seven deadly sins, and as you know, lust is one of the" Henry trailed off, suddenly realizing two things. One, that in his rush to exit, Mr. Chamberlain had left the wooden phallus out on his desk, and two, Belinda's slender fingers were now caressing it.He started when Belinda said, "Continue, Mr. Carter. You were saying something about lust?"Henry dragged his eyes from where Belinda's delicate, white hand was stroking that unholy instrument. Her face looked as angelic as ever."Ahem, yes. As I was saying, God will punish those who give in to their base desires. You are a good girl, Miss Belinda," Henry said, although with a swelling of doubt in his heart. "Don't you want to reach the gates of Heaven?""Oh but Mr. Carter," she said. "I have discovered a Heaven here on our Earthly plane. It is the most blessed feeling, and I feel sure God would not disapprove."Henry's face grew red at her implication and he stammered again. "Tha; that is for me to say, Miss Belinda. And I say again, that God will punish you with the fires of hell for your sinful actions."Belinda did not seem to be affected by his threats. Instead, she ran a hand over the enticing swell of her breasts down over her skirts before she cupped her sex between her thighs, her white skin in contrast to the dark blue of her dress."But sir," she purred wickedly. "I have such an ache, just here. How shall I fill this ache in a way that God will approve?" She brought the large, wooden phallus down and thrust it where her hand had been, the fabric of her dress and underthings bunching with it.Henry was open-mouthed now, his brow sheened with sweat. He tugged at his collar and cleared his throat, but seemed to have nothing more to say at the moment."I feel so empty all the time," Belinda pouted as she continued to thrust the instrument between her outspread thighs. With her other hand, she massaged her right breast, tweaking her nipple, which Henry could see straining through the fabric. "I need to be filled so bad!"She pulled her generous neckline down, exposing one perfect, creamy breast, tipped with a rosy pink bud."Miss Belinda!" Henry made to stand, but all of a sudden, Belinda slid up onto the desk and pushed her stockinged foot down, right onto the large bulge in his black breeches. Henry gripped the arms of the chair as he groaned at the feel of her small foot on his clothed cock. She must have taken her shoes off while she stood there tempting him; he glanced down to see her slippers in a haphazard heap on the rug."Why, Mr. Carter!" Belinda's voice became husky and even more alluring. "What's this? Are you also filled with an ache? An ache that only a Heavenly act can relieve?" She ran her toes over his huge bulge and hummed appreciatively. "I can tell you've been gifted by God with an instrument of large size. Is it as big as this?"She brought the phallus up to her mouth now and stuck out her little pink tongue to give it a long lick.Henry whimpered in his chair, his cock an unyielding rod of iron. The sight of Belinda's rosebud mouth engaging in such an obscene act was inflaming him with the Devil's own power. "No, no," he said when Belinda began lifting her skirts. She propped her other foot up on the desk beside her, the nimble limb long and white, encased in a cream-colored stocking up to her knee. As she uncovered her sex, Henry was horrified to see that she was entirely bare."Oh, yes!" said Belinda, still pressing her dainty foot against his rock-hard crotch. She ran her fingers through her downy curls, glistening with moisture. "Umm," she said as she rubbed the apex of her cunny, "This is where it aches the most. And when I touch it, I feel as if God himself has touched me."She circled her clit in hungry movements, moaning around the wooden phallus in her mouth. "Mr. Carter, it feels so good!""It's the Devil, Miss Belinda!" Henry choked out. Belinda's little toes squeezed his cock and his eyes rolled back in his head as she gave a small, delighted laugh."I don't think so, Mr. Carter. It must be a higher power of good at work, not evil." She spread her cunny lips open and Henry groaned at the sight of her pulsing slit, dripping with her juices. "And when I do this, it feels as if the Heavens have opened."Belinda brought the wooden instrument, now shining wetly with the efforts of her tongue, to her cunny's opening and began to work it inside with short thrusts, all the time letting out the most delicious and lascivious cries of pleasure. "Oh yes, Mr. Carter!" she said when it was hilted several inches in her tight cunny. She held it in while she frigged her clit with her other hand. "Umm, I love it so much!"She began to slide the phallus in and out of her sopping cunt and it made lewd, wet noises every time she thrust it home again. "Oh fuck!" she cried out, her hands a blur between her thighs.Henry thought he might faint. The exquisite pressure of her foot on his cock, along with the mouth-watering smell that was coming from Belinda's soaked cunny, was making him light-headed. He tried to grasp at the Lord's Prayer with his dazed mind. It had never before failed to center and strengthen his devout conviction, but it certainly failed him now. All he could see and hear was Belinda, her luscious, enticing body making him want things he shouldn't."Oh, I'm going to come, Mr. Carter!" she cried out now, pounding her cunny with the phallus. Every time she said his name, Henry's cock jumped and seemed to grow even harder. He squirmed in the chair, his eyes glued to the sight of Belinda's violent release."Yes!" she hissed as she shuddered in obvious bliss, her hips writhing on the desk. She slapped at her cunny, each strike making a filthy, wet sound amid her nasty moans. On the final slap, she slid the phallus out and her cunny gushed with a flood of juices all over the carpet as she moaned, long and loud.The sight sent Henry overboard and he groaned in ecstatic release as his cock pulsed, staining his breeches with a dark patch of moisture. His hands held onto the arms of the chair with a white-knuckled grip as he came, the pleasure so overwhelming that he did not notice a smirking Belinda slide to her knees between his legs."Ahh!" he yelped when he felt her hands on his sensitive member, fishing him out of his breeches. He looked down just in time to see Belinda open that pink, rosebud mouth and engulf his softening cock, glistening with his seed."Oh my Lord!" he cried out, his hands automatically coming to her head to push her away, but for some reason, his fingers tightened around her golden curls instead. When he felt her small hand fondle his balls and his cock harden once more in her hot, velvet mouth, he whimpered."Umm, Mr. Carter, delicious!" Belinda said, popping off his stiff shaft with a long suck. "You're so big! You're bigger than any other man I've seen!" Henry had indeed been blessed by God in that department. Belinda's hand looked tiny, barely encasing his thick girth, and it was longer even than her wooden phallus. She had a greedy look in her eyes as she stroked and licked up and down his engorged length."I can't wait until you fuck me with this huge cock, Mr. Carter!" she said, twisting her hands around him as she took him again into the moist cavern of her mouth.His head lolling on the back of the chair, blinding pleasure running through him, Henry could only moan weakly, "No, no, the Devil's work.""Nonsense!" Belinda said in her low, soothing voice, all the while continuing her depraved movements with her hands and lips. "You know as well as I do that once a man and woman are married, the joining of two bodies is celebrated."She leaned forward and took one of his balls in her mouth, rolling it around with her tongue until he gave a loud groan. "If we're married, Henry, then we can do this every day with God's blessing. In fact, I think God would allow it even if we were engaged!"Henry vaguely registered the fact that she had just used his Christian name. His thoughts were in a whirl of wanton destruction. He could not focus as she tortured him with her unholy touch. But when that touch suddenly left him, he groaned in disappointment.He lifted his head and saw that Belinda was lying on her back on the carpet now, her skirts rucked up to her waist and her legs wide open to expose her swollen, pink cunny. Her beautiful tits were both out now, squeezed together between her arms. She was rubbing herself again with two hands, lewdly spreading her juices all over her puffy lower lips."Don't you want to fuck me, Henry? Don't you want to stick your huge, hard cock inside me?" She spread herself open and he salivated at the sight of that enticing, dark hole."Umm, Henry, I want to be your wife," Belinda continued as she slipped her fingers all around her wet core. "You could fuck me every night, every day, every hour if we were married! Don't you want that, Henry?" Her voice was honeyed seduction and Henry dropped to his knees in front of her, his enormous cock straining out in front of him, drawn to the indecent sight of Belinda's fingers pushing into her cunny.She brought them up to her mouth and licked them and Henry moaned at the sight, his cock now pressed against her entrance, slick and silky."Say you'll marry me, Henry. Say it!" Belinda drew her tongue over her bottom lip, her bright blue eyes mesmerizing him. She brought her fingers to her perky nipples and pinched them, letting out a grunt as her hips shifted against him."Yes, yes!" Henry whispered, and then crammed his monster cock into her tight, pulsing heat."Fuck! Yes!" Belinda cried, her body straining to accommodate his huge size. "Oh my God, you're so big!" She wiggled and squirmed as he relentlessly drove into her, gaining another inch with every thrust until he was pounding his entire length into her as she moaned in satisfaction and gripped his ass hard, urging him on.Henry's hands were braced on each side of Belinda's head, and he stared down at her, watching as pleasure washed over her features. He had never seen anything so beautiful as she, with her clear, azure gaze fixed on him in an expression of love and devotion.He looked down to see his cock pummeling her tight cunt, her opening stretched around him, and her creamy breasts bouncing with every thrust. Groaning at the sight, his hips began to move faster as the pleasure built and built inside of him."You feel so good, Henry," Belinda said and he lifted his head to meet her gaze again. Her eyelids had lowered and a flush had stolen over her porcelain complexion. "Keep going, harder, harder! Fuck, Henry, I'm going to come again! I'm going to come all over your cock!"And as Henry felt her channel grip his member over and over in its velvet grasp as Belinda shook and moaned beneath him, he closed his eyes and commended his soul to the Lord.His balls tightened and after hammering his huge member into that spasming cunny several more times, his cock burst in an eruption of cum. His sticky seed shot into Belinda's sucking womb with force, pumping with orgasmic pulses. "Oh my fucking God!" he cried out, shuddering as the intense pleasure overwhelmed him, flowing out of his shaft in waves of bliss. He ground his pelvis into her for a long minute before collapsing on top of her, panting heavily his mind in a daze. As Belinda ran her hands up and down his back, she let out a laugh, low and triumphant.Fifteen minutes later, Henry was standing next to Belinda in front of her parents in the sitting room. He was stammering out an explanation of their sudden engagement as she held his hand. She wore an extremely satisfied smile on her beautiful face. Mr. and Mrs. Chamberlain were, of course, flummoxed by this recent news, but they were not unpleased. It was a relief to finally get their troublesome daughter off their hands, after all.As for Belinda, it would be some time before she confessed to her husband, late one night while she rode his cock, that she had planned to snare him from the start. "An angel came to me in a dream," she explained, pulling a moan out of Henry, writhing beneath her, as she leaned back and squeezed his balls in her hand. "And the angel told me what a big cock you had!"Fiona's CuriosityFiona, middle daughter of the Chamberlain family, was having a hard time sleeping. In fact, for the past year, ever since her older sister Belinda had married Henry Carter, the local curate, she had been having trouble sleeping.The crux of the problem was that Mr. Brewer was still the rector of Glenwood, and thus occupied the rectory with his wife and family. Henry had been renting rooms in the village, but after the wedding, he had taken up residence at the Chamberlains' very large manor house, sharing quarters with his new wife in the east wing.Unfortunately, Fiona also slept in the east wing. Her bedchamber was right next to that of the young couple, and the walls were lamentably thin.

Cape Rage (A Danny Barrett Novel) by Ron Corbett https://amzn.to/4aev8DE Danny Barrett is caught between a family of criminals and the psychopath who is tracking them in the latest novel of the series the New York Times calls, "Dynamite." The FBI has a hundred undercover agents who can work in the city, but Danny Barrett is the one they call when they need someone to investigate crimes in the wilderness. This case is a particularly difficult one. For more than a century the Danby family have ruled as kings in their corner of the Pacific Northwest. The Feds were mostly willing to look the other way while the family smuggled everything from liquor to cigarettes across the border, but lately things have taken a darker turn. A recent bank robbery in Seattle looks like it may have been committed by the Danbys, but there's no way the FBI can get any locals to turn against them. Only Danny Barrett has what it takes to get inside the organization and shut them down. But before Danny can do that he's going to have to contend with Henry Carter, a former in-law and current psychopath. The Danbys thought they left Henry for dead in the deepest part of the woods, but he's coming back. He'll go to hell to get his revenge, and he's willing to take the whole family with him. About the author Ron Corbett is the Edgar and Arthur Ellis nominated author of the Frank Yakabuski Mystery Series. Set on the Northern Divide, the Yakabuski series has been called “Truly captivating” (Publishers Weekly) “Soulful” (Kirkus Reviews) and “A series with a long life ahead.” (Globe and Mail). Ron is also the author of the Danny Barrett series of thrillers called "A dynamite new series" (New York Times) and "nuanced...and vivid" (Publisher's Weekly). A former radio host and newspaper columnist, the father of four is married to award-winning photo-journalist Julie Oliver and still lives in his hometown of Ottawa, Canada, where he writes from the study of a century-old house, “not far from a good river.”

Henry was very fortunate to grow up around horses and has been riding since a very young age. Beginning his journey with the Pony Club, Henry has competed in Dressage, Showjumping, Cross-Country and Polo. Henry has completed various work within the equestrian industry. Including: grooming for several stable yards, S&C coaching for the armed forces equine charity and writing and reviewing equestrian academic research. Within S&C Henry has experience working with both elite and amateur level athletes within various sports. Including; Rugby, Hockey, Basketball, Swimming, Triathlon, Lacrosse and Motorsports. Currently, Henry is publishing a journal article on polo rider injuries and working as a sports scientist and S&C coach in professional rugby. Qualifications:MSc in Strength & Conditioning - Loughborough UniversityBA (Hons) in Sport & Exercise Science - Durham UniversityDiploma in Sports Development, Coaching & FitnessCertified Personal TrainerHenry Carter MSc, BA (Hons)Founder - Optimal Equestrian Performance (Est. 2020)info@optimalequestrianperformance.comOEP | Home (optimalequestrianperformance.com)

With employee engagement low and jobs are plentiful, disengagement is producing toxic cultures. How do we address this? Let's talk about it!

The producers of Scienceology have an announcement... and an apology to make. Written By John Harris Featuring John Harris and Matt Klinman Edited By Matt Klinman Music by Henry Carter and Cyrus Ghahremani Mixed by Cyrus Ghahremani Art Design by Kyle Kirkup and Nate Maggio Created by John Harris and Matt Klinman Produced by Funny or Die News Special Thanks to Nate Dern, Zack Poitras, Kady Ruth Ashcraft, Dan Abramson and Jesse Neil

On today's episode we meet a brilliant fish scientist who pulled out all the stops to give one lucky koi the greatest gift of all: The ability to be aware of it's own consciousness and know it's tiny, insignificant place in the vast, cold unfeeling universe. Written By Matt Klinman Featuring Kassia Miller and Josh "Drama" Brown with Nate Dern Edited By Matt Klinman Music by Henry Carter and Cyrus Ghahremani Mixed by Cyrus Ghahremani Art Design by Kyle Kirkup and Nate Maggio Created by John Harris and Matt Klinman Produced by Funny or Die News Special Thanks to Nate Dern, Zack Poitras, Kady Ruth Ashcraft, Dan Abramson and Jesse Neil

As twisted as his mind was, Darwin probably never thought his theories would pack a punch quite like this. On this episode we meet an MMA fighter using evolutionary biology to get a "face up" on the competition by camouflaging his body in tattoos of faces. Written By Matt Klinman Featuring Kassia Miller and Mike Scollins with Pat O'Brien, Matt Klinman and Rob Hatch Miller Edited By Matt Klinman Music by Henry Carter and Cyrus Ghahremani "In The Hall Of The Mountain Rats" By Henry Carter Mixed by Cyrus Ghahremani Art Design by Kyle Kirkup and Nate Maggio Created by John Harris and Matt Klinman Produced by Funny or Die News Special Thanks to Nate Dern, Zack Poitras, Kady Ruth Ashcraft, Dan Abramson and Jesse Neil

On this weeks episode we visit the Monterey Bay Aquarium to see their new, mesmerizing manta ray that when you look at it just... makes... you... wow... jesus... Written By Matt Klinman Featuring Kassia Miller and Jesse Neil Edited By Matt Klinman Music by Henry Carter and Cyrus Ghahremani Mixed by Cyrus Ghahremani Art Design by Kyle Kirkup and Nate Maggio Created by John Harris and Matt Klinman Produced by Funny or Die News Special Thanks to Nate Dern, Zack Poitras, Kady Ruth Ashcraft, Dan Abramson and Jesse Neil

Our God who art in... cube? On this weeks episode, we meet the scientist who finally achieved humanity's ultimate goal of capturing and running tests on the almighty God. Written By John Harris Featuring Kassia Miller and John Harris with Mike Scollins as Prof. Goofenheimer Edited By Matt Klinman Music by Henry Carter and Cyrus Ghahremani Art Design by Kyle Kirkup and Nate Maggio Created by John Harris and Matt Klinman Produced by Funny or Die News Special Thanks to Nate Dern, Zack Poitras, Kady Ruth Ashcraft and Jesse Neil

On today's episode, we interview an ornithologist who has spent years mapping the labyrinthian vagina of Lupita, a very special duck. Written By Zack Poitras Featuring Kassia Miller, Jesse Lee and Zack Poitras Edited By Matt Klinman Music by Henry Carter and Cyrus Ghahremani Art Design by Kyle Kirkup and Nate Maggio Created by John Harris and Matt Klinman Produced by Funny or Die News [Nate Dern, John Harris, Matt Klinman]

Scienceology's new host interviews a brilliant Scottish scientist about his amazing and easy-to-understand cure for cancer. Written By John Harris Featuring Kassia Miller and Zack Poitras Edited By Matt Klinman Music by Henry Carter and Cyrus Ghahremani Mixed By Cyrus Ghahremani Art Design by Kyle Kirkup and Nate Maggio Created by John Harris and Matt Klinman Produced by Funny or Die News [Nate Dern, John Harris, Matt Klinman]

Once our consciousness is uploaded to the cloud, what will we use our virtual brooms to e-swat off our digital porches? Raccoons. This week, we show you how that bandit-masked dream is becoming a reality. Written By John Harris Featuring Melinda Taub and Nate Maggio Edited By Matt Klinman Music by Henry Carter and Cyrus Ghahremani Mixed By Cyrus Ghahremani Art Design by Kyle Kirkup and Nate Maggio Created by John Harris and Matt Klinman Produced by Funny or Die News [Nate Dern, John Harris, Melinda Taub, Matt Klinman]

Eels may look like phalluses, but that's not what's making these test subjects cum — it's their electricity! On today's show, we delve into the world of grabbing electric eels at the moment of orgasm so you can cum harder than ever before. Written By John Harris Featuring Melinda Taub, Zack Poitras and Nate Dern Edited by Matt Klinman Music by Henry Carter and Cyrus Ghahremani Art Design by Kyle Kirkup and Nate Maggio Created by John Harris and Matt Klinman Produced by Funny or Die News [Nate Dern, John Harris, Melinda Taub, Matt Klinman]

Now you see him there, and then now you do not. On today's show we meet a man who is constantly fading in and out of existence. Written and Edited by Matt Klinman Featuring Melinda Taub and Matt Klinman Music by Henry Carter and Cyrus Ghahremani Art Design by Kyle Kirkup and Nate Maggio Created by John Harris and Matt Klinman Produced by Funny or Die News [Nate Dern, John Harris, Melinda Taub, Matt Klinman]

On today's show we meet, of all things, a woman scientist who says she is doing research on something. Written by Melinda Taub Featuring Melinda Taub and Jenny Nelson Edited by Matt Klinman Music by Henry Carter and Cyrus Ghahremani Art Design by Kyle Kirkup and Nate Maggio Created by John Harris and Matt Klinman Produced by Funny or Die News [Nate Dern, John Harris, Melinda Taub, Matt Klinman]

Canned chunky soups can only be so chunky... or "can" they? On today's show, we meet a scientist searching for a breakthrough in soup-chunk density that may just change how the world slurps. Written By John Harris Featuring Melinda Taub and Alexa Polivka Edited By Matt Klinman Music by Henry Carter and Cyrus Ghahremani Art Design by Kyle Kirkup and Nate Maggio Created by John Harris and Matt Klinman Produced by Funny or Die News [Nate Dern, John Harris, Melinda Taub, Matt Klinman]

A mysterious man just floating in space? It's not science fiction. On the first episode of Funny or Die News' podcast Scienceology, we meet the astronomer studying the porn-loving space drifter known as Space Roy. Written By Matt Klinman Featuring Melinda Taub and Patrick O'Brien Edited by Matt Klinman Music by Henry Carter and Cyrus Ghahremani Special Mixing Help by Cyrus Ghahremani Art Design by Kyle Kirkup and Nate Maggio Created by Matt Klinman and John Harris Produced by Funny or Die News [Nate Dern, John Harris, Melinda Taub, Matt Klinman]

On December 4 at noon, Graham Dozier delivered a Banner Lecture entitled "A Gunner in Lee's Army: The Civil War Letters of Thomas Henry Carter to His Wife" In May 1861, Thomas Henry Carter raised an artillery battery and joined the Confederate army. Over the next four years he rose steadily in rank from captain to colonel, placing him among the senior artillerists in Robert E. Lee's Army of Northern Virginia. During that time, Carter wrote more than 100 revealing letters to his wife Susan about his service in the South’s most successful army. In this lecture, Graham Dozier will discuss the process of editing the letters; tell the story of Tom Carter's life before, during, and after the Civil War; and share some of the many fascinating observations that can be found in the letters. Graham Dozier is the managing editor of publications at the VHS and the editor of A Gunner in Lee’s Army: The Civil War Letters of Thomas Henry Carter.

On December 4, 2014, Graham Dozier delivered a Banner Lecture entitled "A Gunner in Lee's Army: The Civil War Letters of Thomas Henry Carter to His Wife" In May 1861, Thomas Henry Carter raised an artillery battery and joined the Confederate army. Over the next four years he rose steadily in rank from captain to colonel, placing him among the senior artillerists in Robert E. Lee's Army of Northern Virginia. During that time, Carter wrote more than 100 revealing letters to his wife Susan about his service in the South's most successful army. In this lecture, Graham Dozier will discuss the process of editing the letters; tell the story of Tom Carter's life before, during, and after the Civil War; and share some of the many fascinating observations that can be found in the letters. Graham Dozier is the managing editor of publications at the VHS and the editor of A Gunner in Lee's Army: The Civil War Letters of Thomas Henry Carter The content and opinions expressed in these presentations are solely those of the speaker and not necessarily of the Virginia Museum of History & Culture.

“What’s so wonderful about Carter’s illustrations [for Gray’s Anatomy] is that they are not abject people, they are not shown as lumps of meat, they’re not shown as undignified, they’re not shown in pain. In fact, many of the illustrations are quite noble… “It’s the first real anatomy book for students to be published since the development of chloroform, anaesthesia in general, and I think these bodies are chloroformed bodies. They are not being treated as though they are social outcasts; they’re being treated as human beings.” My guest on this week’s programme is medical historian, Ruth Richardson. Ruth has written a fascinating history of how the most famous medical textbook of all time came to be written – Gray’s Anatomy, which is still going strong after more than 150 years and 40 editions. She shows that its success was down to not just Henry Gray, who wrote the text, but also to Henry Carter, who provided the illustrations. In the interview we talk about the very different fates of these two men and also …

A sermon about the disciples on the road to Emmaus.