Tell Me A Story Podcast

I know how it feels to grow old.The time and the temperature never relate.It's always too cold.And it's always too late.Thank you for reading Tell Me a Story Podcast. This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. Get access to private episodes at tellmeastory.substack.com/subscribe

Laurie Weiss and her husband went to dinner with old friends after a day at a professional conference in Montreal. Their friends picked a Mexican restaurant which was supposed to be quiet and pleasant.Now, Laurie is a highly sensitive person whose body rejects highly spiced food and loud noises, so the evening did not go well. Waiters kept promising food Laurie could eat but delivering food that made her mouth burn and induced violent coughing. As they sat there, several very loud families arrived and the mariachis began to play trumpets! Can you imagine how stressed Laurie felt?Laurie excused herself while her husband paid the bill. She went outside into a beautiful quiet evening to calm herself down. She did some breathing exercises and tapping so she thought she was fine. Then the friend came out and asked her if she was okay. She told him, truthfully, that she was. He asked her to describe what happened, and she did her best to explain how her body had become extremely tense.He asked if she would try something new and had her repeat some words she barely understood. Suddenly she experienced a whole new level of deep relaxation of the remaining tension that she had not even been aware of before. She was stunned! She asked what he had done, and he told her he had used a new European technique called Logosynthesis.Since that encounter in 2010, Laurie's life-long stress reaction to noise simply disappeared. Another change is that after her first training weekend, which she had been reluctant to schedule because of her stress reaction to the intense overstimulation of airplane travel, she flew home and simply forgot to be stressed. She has been able to travel on airplanes without any particular reaction ever since. Sadly, she still can't manage spicy food.After several years of study and supervision Laurie and her husband have become the first and (as of 2016) only certified practitioners and basic trainers of Logosynthesis in the United States.Excerpted from Letting It Go: Relieve Anxiety and Toxic Stress in Just a Few Minutes Using Only Words (Rapid Relief with Logosynthesis®) by Laurie WeissAmazon: http://www.BooksbyLaurie.com/goWebsite: http://www.LaurieWeiss.comTell Me a Story Podcast is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. Get access to private episodes at tellmeastory.substack.com/subscribe

The following podcast is excerpted from an article written by Steven Schlozman of Storytellers of New Mexico:Stories matter.That's not just an opinion. That's not an axiom or a homily or a saying or even a pithy bumper sticker slogan. That's a genuine biological imperative. There's a reason we've been trading stories with each other since the time when we could trade anything at all. Our stories—those we share over dinner, the narratives we put down on paper, the arcs in movies and plays we scrutinize—these stories literally keep us whole.Stories are our brains' opposable thumbs. Without stories, we could not grasp the importance of an idea. We could not empathize with a friend. We'd even have trouble making plans for our future. If we ignore the importance of stories, then we ignore ourselves.Storytelling is at the very core of our identities. As is often the case with fictional narratives, the truth of what we say comes not from the facts of the stories themselves, but from the feelings that these facts engender. …If all we had were what the historians dryly tell us, can you imagine ever venturing anywhere new? Would we have ever gone to the moon if all we knew were the barest of facts? This is a public episode. Get access to private episodes at tellmeastory.substack.com/subscribe

Here is a short story that originally appeared in Rhoda Yee's 1975 cookbook, Chinese Village Cookbook.Dinner was eaten early in the village, usually around four-thirty or five, and bedtime was around seven or a little later in summer.Often families would sit out in front of their houses and visit with neighbors. My grandmother was a marvelous storyteller, and we kids used to sit by the hour listening to some of her hair-raising ghost stories.Her stories were made even more scary when the night was dark, the only other sounds were cricket songs and frog mating calls, and the only lights were faint glimmers from dancing fireflies.The women liked to get together and cook, sew, quilt, or embroider. But, best of all, they love to play mah jong, a form of gin rummy using carved ivory tiles instead of cards. The men, too, enjoyed mah jong, but they preferred fan tan, a game similar to dominoes. They'd often get together at the one and only general store in the village for their bull sessions.We kids didn't have any ready-made toys to play with. They all were hand made. For instance, the girls would use two ends of burned incense sticks to make a cross. We'd pretend it was a doll, and we'd cut out scraps from leftover fabrics to make tops and trousers for our dolls.Another popular homemade toy was the swallow, made with three chicken wing feathers tied together. We'd stick the feathers through the centers of small stacks of tissue paper cut into 1-inch round circles. The bottom was weighted with a coin. The idea of the game was to kick the swallow with the inside of one's foot as many times as possible without having it land on the ground. Some kids were so accomplished, they could keep it going 100 times or more! When we became more advanced, we'd try different kinds of kicks or switching kicks between the left and right feet.Many of the games we played were similar to the ones kids play in the U.S. We'd often go into the hills to hunt tigers and pick wild berries, or we'd go to the rice paddies and catch field mice and water snakes. Like kids everywhere, we were mischievous little devils.Thank you for reading Tell Me a Story Podcast. This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. Get access to private episodes at tellmeastory.substack.com/subscribe

Here's a lesson on gratitude, relationships, and love as told by George Strait in his #1 song, I Hate Everything:He was sitting there beside me throwing doubles down.When he ordered up his third one, he looked around.Then he looked at me.Said I do believeI'll have one more.He said I hate this bar and I hate to drink,But on second thought tonight I thinkI hate everything.Then he opened up his billfold and threw a $20 down,And a faded photograph fell out and hit the ground.And I picked it up.He said thank you, bud.I put it in his hand.He said I probably ought to throw this one away'Cause she's the reason I feel this way.I hate everything.I hate my job. And I hate my life.And if it weren't for my two kids, I'd hate my ex-wife.I know I should move on and try to start again,But I just can't get over her leaving me for him.Then he shook his head and looked down at his ringSaid I hate everything.He said that one bedroom apartment where I get my mail,Is really not a home. It's more like a jail.With a swimming poolAnd a parking lot view,Man, that's just great.I hate summer, winter, fall and springRed and yellow, purple, blue and green.I hate everything.I hate my job. And I hate my life.And if it weren't for my two kids, I'd hate my ex-wife.I know I should move on and try to start again,But I just can't get over her leaving me for him.Then he shook his head and looked down at his ringSaid I hate everything.So I pulled out my phoneand I called my house.I said, Babe, I'm comin' home.We're gonna work this out.I paid for his drinks,And I told him thanks.Thanks for everything. Get full access to Tell Me a Story Podcast at tellmeastory.substack.com/subscribe

Let us pray.Today we pray for all the people who have died and who will die from the violence and terror now taking place in Afghanistan.We pray for the women who have been beaten, raped, disfigured, or killed in Afghanistan.We pray for the American soldiers who have given their lives or limbs in the service of a greater good.We pray for the Afghans who are being killed or terrorized by the Taliban rule.We pray for all the people at the Kabul airport. We pray that they get home safely.We pray for all the stranded Americans who may end up dead or as hostages to a cruel regime.We pray for the American leaders who have made so many mistakes during this time.We pray for the souls and lives of the victims of Taliban terror, killings, and misrule.God bless all of them. Get full access to Tell Me a Story Podcast at tellmeastory.substack.com/subscribe

Let us pray.Today we pray for the Taliban in Afghanistan. They think they've won a great victory, but that victory is only of this world.They have not won the true victory of life.We pray the Taliban discover the true victory.We pray they discover the true life.We pray that the world is stronger, more beautiful, more true, more peaceful when they do. Get full access to Tell Me a Story Podcast at tellmeastory.substack.com/subscribe

Chelsea Wicked, @thewickeddm on Tik Tok, comes on Tell Me a Story and discusses her career as an educator around the world and the unique experiences that has provided her.... Join Chelsea Discord discord.gg/UcXPdcYGuh . …...Follow host Eric Bell on https://linktr.ee/bellcomedy…..Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy…CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

Sphinx Akashaa is a musician and Tik Tok Content creator who tells Eric about a pivotal moment he had with his father that sent him on a very unique path….Follow and support Sphinx at https://linktr.ee/SphinxAkashaa and follow on his Tik Tok @circledm…...Follow host Eric Bell on https://linktr.ee/bellcomedy…..Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy…CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

Chidori.Sour is a Cosplayer and Tik Tok Content Creator who gives a delightful story of meeting one of her all thing favorite celebrities and regretting the entire moment. Follow Chidori and all of her content through her link tree. https://lnk.bio/aVGC…...Follow host Eric Bell on https://linktr.ee/bellcomedy…..Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy…CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

Emma, Tik Tok content creator, tells Eric the odd story on how she trapped herself in her shower. Follow Emma on her Tik Tok @ichooseno Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

Devon, CEO of Startplaying.games, tells Eric the story of how his Dad was the center of a legendary story at his favorite bar. Find Devon on Tik Tok @startplayinggames….. If you are interested in playing your favorite tabletop games, go to startplaying.games and find a game today. Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

Aelx Bomb tells Eric a unique story of growing up dyslexic and the treatment that was given to her in her formative years and the astounding growth she has witnessed our country go through culturally. Aelx is a DnD content creator on a variety of Social Media Platforms, find all of them and support her content by donations through her LinkTree https://linktr.ee/aelxbomb Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

Comedian Sampson McCormick comes on the show and tells Eric his story of growing up a gay black man in a religious family/community and the conflicted emotional turmoil that did in his adolescence. The conversation later turns into the unique struggle black men face coming up in the Stand Up Comedy Industry. Sampson new movie "Love the One You're With" can be seen at https://vim2.tv/ and will be on Amazon Prime in March. Follow Sampson on Instagram at @sampsonmccormick Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

Thomas Tanner, @grizzsquatch from Tik Tok, tells Eric a truly intriguing story of when he served in the military and the outlandish pranks they did to one another and an unfortunate tattoo he has. Follow Tanner on Tik Tok @grizzsquatch / His Youtube Alternate Fantasy Gaming/ Discord Grizzsquatch and the Gorilla Bears Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

Rihanna, @binarey_ from Tik Tok, comes on the shows and tells me how an inspirational teach, Ms. Mullins. Help set her on her path as a writer and all around awesome person in my opinion. Follow Rihanna through her Tik Tok @Binarey_ Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

Sponsor: Find a tabletop game or hire a dungeon master at startplaying.games Kelsey, Host of the incredible podcast Books and Boobs comes on my show and tells me a spookey ghost story. I as well enlighten her on a recent drunk driver the man who will be hence forth be called Badass Neighbor Wayne. Follow Kelsey on Tik Tok @femme_dm and subscribe to her podcast wherever you are listening to this one at Books and Boobs. Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

This episode is brought to you but StartPlaying.Games a great source to find a group or DM to play your favorite table tops. Magician, Content Creator and one of my favorite DND Tik Tok accounts, Korso. Comes on my show and tells me a variety of stories that are incredible cautionary tales and hilarious stories of success, risk and failure. Follow Korso on Tik Tok @ Podcast Lark Gaming @ Mischief Network Twitch.tv/LarkNetwork Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

Mandy, better known as @Clericofvecna on Tik Tok co.es on the Tell Me a Story Podcast and tells Eric of her life within Customer Service and the different flavors of Karens she has had to deal with. Follow her DnD streams on Critfailacademy on Twitch Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

Comedian and Comedy Show Producer, Ahmed Abderlrahman, tells Eric the craziest moment he ever had with a fan. Follow Ahmed on all Social Media @Comicahmed and check out the Comedy Show at Neck of the Woods in San Francisco Follow host Eric Bell on Tik Tok/Facebook/Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

YA Writer, Thera Pitts, discusses her journey to writing the book "South" and how doing Stand Up helped her continue that journey. Buy South on Amazon https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B08HX9TBF5&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_S.IYFb8F1QXNK Or anywhere books are sold. I LOVE THIS BOOK!!!! Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

Journalist, Ural Garrett, gives Eric a few highlight stories of his more interesting times as a journalist. Follow Ural on his website uralg.com Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

Comedian and Social Media Influencer Stephanie Tejada tells Eric the story of her foundation that causes her to grind for success and never stop. Follow Tejada on her Instagram @stephanietejadaa and @thequeenscloset_shop Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

Adult Film Actress and Comedian Sally Mullins gives a raw story. Enjoy finding out about all of the unique uses of a Gherkin. Follow Sally Mullins on her Instagram @Sallymullins818 or her OnlyFans at Onlyfans.com/msjamiefoster Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

Streamer, Dakota Butts, tells Eric of the epic levels of toxic he endured in his past relationships. Follow Dakota on twitch at https://www.twitch.tv/LastTimeOn

Stunt Performer and Actor, Shane Cervantes, comes on the show and tells Eric about some of the injuries that happen in the most unexpected situations and jumping out of a plane solo. Follow Shane on Tik Tok and Instagram @shane_thetrain or his website at Shanecervantes.com Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

Natasha Jimenez comes on Tell Me A Story Podcast and talks about her passion for the theatre and how it led her to her best friend. Natasha is a professional photographer. Follow her on her Instagram @tashafacephotography or hire her on her website at tashafacephotography.com Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

Kimiko Rojas joins the Tell Me a Story Podcasts and tells Eric about growing up and seeing how her father was treated by her family due to his race. And her own unique experiences being a mixed girl. Follow Kimiko's on her Instagram @iamkocali Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

Actress, Deanna Pak, tells Eric about her father's daring escape from his home. Watch her hilarous skits on her Instagram @Deannapak.

Singer, Alexandra Taylor (Natani), tells Eric about the time where a date night went horribly wrong. Listen to hear new single Ba (On My Mind) at http://natani.hearnow.com

Robyn tells Eric a very Pre-Covid story of when your traveling plans go completely on its head. Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

It's not a dog, if it can fit inside another dog's mouth!It's not a dog, if it can be accidentally vacuumed up.It's not a dog, if it can be killed by a cat.It's not a dog, if it can be carried off by a medium-sized pigeon.It's not a dog, if it can be out-wrestled by a rat. Get full access to Tell Me a Story Podcast at tellmeastory.substack.com/subscribe

When I walked into our living room, I discovered that our expensive paisley sofa pillow was in shreds.I asked our teenage son whether he knew which of our cats was responsible."It was Sammy," he replied."How do you know?" I asked in return."I watched him," he said.And that was enough. Get full access to Tell Me a Story Podcast at tellmeastory.substack.com/subscribe

We get a little corny on today's episode. Podcaster, Stephen Settanni, comes on and tells me about how when you learn a new language, you gain a soul and his journey to finding his true love. Settani podcast is A Comedy Advice Podcast follow it on.... Instagram @acomedyadvicepodcast And listen at acomedyadvivepodcast.com Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

In the beginning, West Point: A Novel shadows new Cadet John Paul (Jake) Jacobs on his first day of Beast Barracks. Educational perhaps to the reader, but a mind-stunning indoctrination for those that have been chosen to be a cadet at the United States Military Academy at West Point. The following excerpt is a precursor of the adventure to unfold."What the hell is this, Lamont?" the table commandant said, staring at the apple pie in disbelief. "Eyes up here. All you, smacks, look at this!"The new cadets reluctantly looked to the head of the table as the old cadet held the pie at an angle for them to see. There may have been ten pieces. But then again, there might have been more, or less. One piece was the size of a full third and others were cut so thin they would not make for a single bite. "I'm not believing this, Lamont! This is pitiful! Fix it!"The pie was shuffled back down the table toward Lamont, handled by the new cadets along the way as though it were a live grenade. Everyone at the table had the same thought. How does one recut an already cut pie? The question was terrifying because it was apparent that the table commandant fully expected the pie to be fixed. The beads of sweat were no longer confined to the back of Lamont's neck. The pressure. His face suddenly glistened as though he had just walked in from a heavy rain."Well, fix it, Lamont!" the demon-possessed old cadet shouted.Following two or three minutes of silence at the table with all three upperclassmen staring at Lamont, as he in turn, helplessly stared at the pie in front of him while praying for a miracle, Cantrell said, "Mister Jacobs!""Yes, sir!" Jake replied, wondering what this God-awful dilemma had to do with him."Since you claim to be the most handsome among your classmates, and since you are from Texas, I'm sure you'll have no problem helping your classmate. Take the pie from Mister Lamont. You fix it!"Jake hesitated. Lamont's fear was contagious. After a moment, he took the pie and placed it next to his plate as ordered. A reasonable solution to the problem seemed to escape him because of the distracting thought of wanting to reach out with both hands and strangle Lamont."Well, Jacobs," Cantrell said. "We're waiting. Surely a Texan can do something as simple as fix a broken pie."Without a moment's hesitation, Jake picked up his spoon, and viciously attacked the pie. He decimated it into a thousand tiny pieces and vented his anger at Cantrell's flippant insults toward the State of Texas. As he slashed at the pie with wild swings, bits and pieces took to the air and splattered both Patrick and Lamont.In less than ten seconds, Jake dropped the spoon with a loud clatter, picked up the pie in both hands, and announced in a military manner, "Sir! Apple cobbler to the head of the table for inspection, please sir!"Silence followed for a full minute. All three of the upperclassmen sat stunned, mouths slightly open, eyes staring at Jake in disbelief as he sat with the recently acquired cobbler extended in front of him.Upperclassmen at adjacent tables had heard the pie problem as it developed and its solution. They now came over to the table with the same unbelieving stare. In that silent minute, the table was surrounded by upperclassmen who came to get a closer look at the bold before June plebe and to see how Cadet Captain Jonathan Scott, the company commander of the 7th New Cadet Company, was going to handle the situation. Or, possibly, to try to prevent the murder of a new cadet in front of so many witnesses.Without moving the pie, or his eyes, Jake was very much aware of the mob gathering. A single bead of sweat slowly rolled down his back, an excruciating sensation adding misery to an already hopeless situation.Find out more about this wonderful novel here: https://jmpattonauthor.com. Get full access to Tell Me a Story Podcast at tellmeastory.substack.com/subscribe

I have two minutes in my pocket to spare.If you have need of them for me to share.They have no rhythm, but they do have rhymeThese two minutes of universal time.I have them to spareIf you need me to share.Just say God Bless You to someone nearby.The minutes will be yours to try.Don't worry about exhausting this supply.The minutes replenish on the fly!I have two minutes in my pocket to spare.If you have need of them for me to share. Get full access to Tell Me a Story Podcast at tellmeastory.substack.com/subscribe

Voice Actor, Linsay Rousseau, turns back the clock and tells Eric on some of the more positive experiences she had while being a combat photographer in the middle east. Follow Linsay on Instagram @Linsayrousseau and of course make sure you watch the Netflix original, Transformers War for Cybertron, where she voices Elita-1 Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

Director Katz Carter returns to the Tell Me A Story Podcast and recounts the craziest place he ever hooked up. Follow Katz Carter on Instagram @Katzcarter_productions Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

Here's a little M&M's humor to lighten your day.I just dumped a pack of M&M's into my mask at work and am slowly eating them like a horse. I love the pandemic!More M&M's humor. Which is your favorite joke?Q. How can you tell that a Swede has been baking chocolate chip cookies? A. There are M&M shells all over the counter.Q. Why do Americans hate M&M's? A. They're too hard to peel.M&M's are cheaper than therapy. And you don't need an appointment!In Heaven, M&M's have no calories and are served as the main course.My therapist told me the way to achieve inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I've finished two bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.Yo momma is so stupid. She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.The only thing better than a friend is a friend with a bag of M&M's she wants to share.What is the meaning of life? All evidence to date suggest it's M&M's.Save this planet! It's the only one with M&M's.M&M's are made from cocoa, which is a tree. A tree is a plant. That makes M&M's a salad!I'd give up M&M's, but I'm not a quitter.Which of the above jokes did you like best? Do you have a favorite? Is there one that had you rolling in the aisles? Get full access to Tell Me a Story Podcast at tellmeastory.substack.com/subscribe

Earlier this year, police were called to the scene of a dispute between a woman and a man who was selling a secret formula elixir that he claimed gave eternal youth. As a result of the dispute, the man was arrested.It was the sixth time he'd been arrested for promoting a medical fraud.The fact is the man had previously been arrested in 1789, 1842, 1885, 1923, and 1986. Get full access to Tell Me a Story Podcast at tellmeastory.substack.com/subscribe

Comedian Adam Dominguez dishes some dirt on all multitude of crazy, belligerent shenanigans he has witnessed on the road of comedy. Please... Enjoy Follow Adam on Instagram/Twitter/Snapchat/Twitch @AdamjDominguez Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

If you love something, set it free.If it comes back, it was, and always will be, yours.If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.If it just sits in your living room,messes up your stuff,eats your food,uses your telephone,takes your money,and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place,you either married it or gave birth to it!— Anonymous on the Internet Get full access to Tell Me a Story Podcast at tellmeastory.substack.com/subscribe

Cara Kluver tells the story of her time on the set of the Captain Marvel movie and the hours she spent being transformed into a Skrull. Please...Enjoy Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

"What time is it, Grandfather? Nap time? Play time?" teased the little boy."I will give you an answer that you won't understand, but maybe you'll remember," the old man said as he pulled the little boy onto his lap."All right," said the boy."When I was your age, time stretched out before me—it was forever. There was time for everything. But I couldn't wait to grow up. Then, when I grew up, time was never enough for all I had to do. And it fell away and disappeared. I was always running. Now, I am an old man, and time is short. It stretches out behind me. I can't run any more. But finally I know, I really do know. Time is forever." Get full access to Tell Me a Story Podcast at tellmeastory.substack.com/subscribe

Never doubt what one prayer can do.Say your prayer today.Even just one prayer can change your lifeor the life of your loved onesor the life of a stranger.Or the life of the world.Your choice.Your prayer. Get full access to Tell Me a Story Podcast at tellmeastory.substack.com/subscribe

The InventionWe wish, all of us, to exceed our own inventionsto create and then to go beyond that creation,to enter into it and make it live,breathing life into the lifeless,stirring the immovable.We fail, but we continue.We invent machine after machine,each exceeding the next,becoming more refined,more capable,more effective.And still we build, paint dance sing writeagain and again,ever aiming to excel.The direction is obvious:We wish to build the perfect machine.We are aiming for ourselves. Get full access to Tell Me a Story Podcast at tellmeastory.substack.com/subscribe

A dear friend, Karen Fitzgerrell, comes on the show and tells me about the time when she got called into the principal's office for porn… it's not what you think. So you'll have to listen to find out. Please… Enjoy Follow Karen on Instagram @themellennialkaren Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

High above the city, on a tall column, stood the statue of the Happy Prince. He was gilded all over with thin leaves of fine gold, for eyes he had two bright sapphires, and a large red ruby glowed on his sword-hilt.He was very much admired indeed. "He is as beautiful as a weathercock," remarked one of the Town Councillors who wished to gain a reputation for having artistic tastes. "Only not quite so useful," he added, fearing lest people should think him unpractical, which he really was not."Why can't you be like the Happy Prince?" asked a sensible mother of her little boy who was crying for the moon. "The Happy Prince never dreams of crying for anything.""I am glad there is some one in the world who is quite happy," muttered a disappointed man as he gazed at the wonderful statue."He looks just like an angel," said the Charity Children as they came out of the cathedral in their bright scarlet cloaks and their clean white pinafores."How do you know?" said the Mathematical Master, "You have never seen one.""Ah! but we have, in our dreams," answered the children. And the Mathematical Master frowned and looked very severe, for he did not approve of children dreaming.One night there flew over the city a little Swallow. His friends had gone away to Egypt six weeks before, but he had stayed behind, for he was in love with the most beautiful Reed. He had met her early in the spring as he was flying down the river after a big yellow moth, and had been so attracted by her slender waist that he had stopped to talk to her."Shall I love you?" said the Swallow, who liked to come to the point at once, and the Reed made him a low bow. So he flew round and round her, touching the water with his wings, and making silver ripples. This was his courtship, and it lasted all through the summer."It is a ridiculous attachment," twittered the other Swallows. "She has no money and far too many relations." And, indeed, the river was quite full of Reeds. Then, when the autumn came they all flew away.After they had gone he felt lonely, and began to tire of his lady-love. "She has no conversation," he said, "And I am afraid that she is a coquette, for she is always flirting with the wind." And certainly, whenever the wind blew, the Reed made the most graceful curtseys. "I admit that she is domestic," he continued, "But I love traveling, and my wife, consequently, should love traveling also.""Will you come away with me?" he said finally to her; but the Reed shook her head, she was so attached to her home."You have been trifling with me," he cried. "I am off to the Pyramids. Good-bye!" and he flew away.All day long he flew, and at night-time he arrived at the city. "Where shall I put up?" he said; "I hope the town has made preparations."Then he saw the statue on the tall column."I will put up there," he cried. "It is a fine position, with plenty of fresh air." So he alighted just between the feet of the Happy Prince."I have a golden bedroom," he said softly to himself as he looked round, and he prepared to go to sleep. But just as he was putting his head under his wing a large drop of water fell on him. "What a curious thing!" he cried. "There is not a single cloud in the sky, the stars are quite clear and bright, and yet it is raining. The climate in the north of Europe is really dreadful. The Reed used to like the rain, but that was merely her selfishness."Then another drop fell."What is the use of a statue if it cannot keep the rain off?" he said. "I must look for a good chimney-pot," and he determined to fly away.But before he had opened his wings, a third drop fell, and he looked up, and saw — Ah! what did he see?The eyes of the Happy Prince were filled with tears, and tears were running down his golden cheeks. His face was so beautiful in the moonlight that the little Swallow was filled with pity."Who are you?" he said."I am the Happy Prince.""Why are you weeping then?" asked the Swallow. "You have quite drenched me.""When I was alive and had a human heart," answered the statue, "I did not know what tears were, for I lived in the Palace of Sans-Souci, where sorrow is not allowed to enter. In the daytime I played with my companions in the garden, and in the evening I led the dance in the Great Hall. Round the garden ran a very lofty wall, but I never cared to ask what lay beyond it, everything about me was so beautiful. My courtiers called me the Happy Prince, and happy indeed I was, if pleasure be happiness. So I lived, and so I died. And now that I am dead they have set me up here so high that I can see all the ugliness and all the misery of my city, and though my heart is made of lead yet I cannot chose but weep.""What! Is he not solid gold?" said the Swallow to himself. He was too polite to make any personal remarks out loud."Far away," continued the statue in a low musical voice, "Far away in a little street there is a poor house. One of the windows is open, and through it I can see a woman seated at a table. Her face is thin and worn, and she has coarse, red hands, all pricked by the needle, for she is a seamstress. She is embroidering passion-flowers on a satin gown for the loveliest of the Queen's maids-of-honor to wear at the next Court ball. In a bed in the corner of the room her little boy is lying ill. He has a fever, and is asking for oranges. His mother has nothing to give him but river water, so he is crying. Swallow, Swallow, little Swallow, will you not bring her the ruby out of my sword-hilt? My feet are fastened to this pedestal and I cannot move.""I am waited for in Egypt," said the Swallow. "My friends are flying up and down the Nile, and talking to the large lotus-flowers. Soon they will go to sleep in the tomb of the great King. The King is there himself in his painted coffin. He is wrapped in yellow linen, and embalmed with spices. Round his neck is a chain of pale green jade, and his hands are like withered leaves.""Swallow, Swallow, little Swallow," said the Prince, "Will you not stay with me for one night, and be my messenger? The boy is so thirsty, and the mother so sad.""I don't think I like boys," answered the Swallow. "Last summer, when I was staying on the river, there were two rude boys, the miller's sons, who were always throwing stones at me. They never hit me, of course; we swallows fly far too well for that, and besides, I come of a family famous for its agility; but still, it was a mark of disrespect."But the Happy Prince looked so sad that the little Swallow was sorry. "It is very cold here," he said; "But I will stay with you for one night and be your messenger.""Thank you, little Swallow," said the Prince.So the Swallow picked out the great ruby from the Prince's sword and flew away with it in his beak over the roofs of the town.He passed by the cathedral tower, where the white marble angels were sculptured. He passed by the palace and heard the sound of dancing. A beautiful girl came out on the balcony with her lover. "How wonderful the stars are," he said to her, "And how wonderful is the power of love!""I hope my dress will be ready in time for the State ball," she answered. "I have ordered passion-flowers to be embroidered on it; but the seamstresses are so lazy."He passed over the river, and saw the lanterns hanging to the masts of the ships. He passed over the Ghetto, and saw the old Jews bargaining with each other, and weighing out money in copper scales. At last he came to the poor house and looked in. The boy was tossing feverishly on his bed, and the mother had fallen asleep, she was so tired. In he hopped, and laid the great ruby on the table beside the woman's thimble. Then he flew gently round the bed, fanning the boy's forehead with his wings. "How cool I feel," said the boy, "I must be getting better"; and he sank into a delicious slumber.Then the Swallow flew back to the Happy Prince, and told him what he had done. "It is curious," he remarked, "But I feel quite warm now, although it is so cold.""That is because you have done a good action," said the Prince. And the little Swallow began to think, and then he fell asleep. Thinking always made him sleepy.When day broke he flew down to the river and had a bath. "What a remarkable phenomenon," said the Professor of Ornithology as he was passing over the bridge. "A swallow in winter!" And he wrote a long letter about it to the local newspaper. Every one quoted it, it was full of so many words that they could not understand."Tonight I go to Egypt," said the Swallow, and he was in high spirits at the prospect. He visited all the public monuments, and sat a long time on top of the church steeple. Wherever he went the Sparrows chirruped, and said to each other, "What a distinguished stranger!" so he enjoyed himself very much.When the moon rose he flew back to the Happy Prince. "Have you any commissions for Egypt?" he cried, "I am just starting.""Swallow, Swallow, little Swallow," said the Prince, "Will you not stay with me one night longer?""I am waited for in Egypt," answered the Swallow. "Tomorrow my friends will fly up to the Second Cataract. The river-horse couches there among the bulrushes, and on a great granite throne sits the God Memnon. All night long he watches the stars, and when the morning star shines he utters one cry of joy, and then he is silent. At noon the yellow lions come down to the water's edge to drink. They have eyes like green beryls, and their roar is louder than the roar of the cataract.""Swallow, Swallow, little Swallow," said the Prince, "Far away across the city I see a young man in a garret. He is leaning over a desk covered with papers, and in a tumbler by his side there is a bunch of withered violets. His hair is brown and crisp, and his lips are red as a pomegranate, and he has large and dreamy eyes. He is trying to finish a play for the director of the theatre, but he is too cold to write any more. There is no fire in the grate, and hunger has made him faint.""I will wait with you one night longer," said

It is not the things you have that make you happy. It is love and kindness and helping each other and just plain being good. — Laura Ingalls Wilder, novelist Get full access to Tell Me a Story Podcast at tellmeastory.substack.com/subscribe

An old friend, Lyndsey LeSassier, comes on the show and we both relate to one another on a variety of different stories and struggles we have both faced as parents……….. Follow Lyndsey on her Instagram @LynDionneSauce and her new podcast on Spotify called “Let's Talk About It w/ Lynny D……….. Follow host Eric Bell on Facebook and Instagram @Bellcomedy...CashApp $bellcomedy…. Like/Share/Subscribe to the Tell Me A Story Podcast wherever you listen and leave positive comments to support…... Help grow the TELL ME A STORY PODCAST https://www.patreon.com/Bellcomedy ……..Follow on Instagram @Thetellmeastorypodcast ……...Background Music Composed By Julian Smith

My dad is so cheap that when he dies, he's going to walk toward the light and turn it off. — Matin Atrushi, comedian Get full access to Tell Me a Story Podcast at tellmeastory.substack.com/subscribe