The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast focuses on your spiritual, emotional and physical well-being to help you be the best leader possible. Each episode explores research and practical tips to help you be a personal and professional non-anxious presence.
Murray Bowen's concept of societal regression helps to understand the conflict and division we face in society today. This episode explains what that is and my takeaways on this.Show Notes:Reflections on Societal Regression by Stephanie FerreraA Perspective on a World on Fire: Societal Regression by Michael KerrBecome a Patron for as little as $5/month.Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
This episode covers how Mel Robbins' deals with overfunctioning and the similarities to family systems theory.Show Notes:The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About by Mel Robbins“The Let Them Theory” Book Summary, Chapter-by-Chapter by Vanessa Van EdwardsBecome a Patron for as little as $5/month.Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
This episode covers how Mel Robbins' "Let Them Theory" applies to leadership through self-differentiation. Show Notes:The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About by Mel Robbins“The Let Them Theory” Book Summary, Chapter-by-Chapter by Vanessa Van EdwardsBecome a Patron for as little as $5/month.Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Mel Robbins doesn't say it, but her Let Them Theory resonates with family systems theory. Here's how.Show Notes:The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About by Mel Robbins“The Let Them Theory” Book Summary, Chapter-by-Chapter by Vanessa Van EdwardsBecome a Patron for as little as $5/month.Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Being a non-anxious presence doesn't come naturally. Here's what you can do to better prepare for difficult situations. Show Notes:People With High Emotional Intelligence Use 5 Simple Words to Become Exceptionally Persuasive by Bill Murphy Jr.
Joe Rigney's War on Empathy was inspired, in part, by Edwin Friedman. Here's where I agree and disagree with him.Show Notes:The Sin of Empathy — A Conversation with Joe Rigney - AlbertMohler.comThe Anatomy of a Steer by Joseph RigneyBecome a Patron for as little as $5/month.Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Martha Beck's concept of the anxiety spiral and creativity spiral resonate with Edwin Friedman's definition of a non-anxious leader. Here's how.Show Notes:Beyond Anxiety: Curiosity, Creativity and Finding Your Life's Purpose by Martha BeckA Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin FriedmanBecome a Patron for as little as $5/month.Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
A paradox in leadership is that we think we can control more than we actually can. This leads to micromanaging, which is more damaging than helpful. This episode shows how leadership through self-differentiation is different and more effective.Show Notes:How to Solve the Leadership Paradox | Inc.com by David FinkelBecome a Patron for as little as $5/month.Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Here's how Dr. Sunita Sah's definition of defiance is self-differentiation and how you can do it skillfully.Show Notes:DEFY : The Power Of No In A World That Demands Yes — Sunita SahBecome a Patron for as little as $5/month.Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Evolutionary forces have created two competing psychological needs that contribute to happiness. Here's what they are, as well as the difference that self-differentiation makes.Show Notes:For a happier life, we must balance two old psychological needs by William von HippelThe Hadza: Hunter-Gatherers of Tanzania by Frank MarloweBecome a Patron for as little as $5/month.Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Self-differentiation is about knowing your own goals and values, which builds resilience. Here's the research that shows why.Show Notes:How To Be Resilient: 5 Secrets To Success When Life Gets Impossible by Eric BarkerBecome a Patron for as little as $5/month.Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Dr. Michael Kerr, who studied under Murray Bowen, identifies two levels of self-differentiation. Here's what they are and why they matter to the non-anxious leader.Show Notes:Interview with Michael Kerr 2007 from the Family Systems InstituteDr. Michael KerrBecome a Patron for as little as $5/month.Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
When a leader overfunctions, their followers naturally underfunction. Here are three things you can do if you have followed such a leader.Show Notes:Become a Patron for as little as $5/month.Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Overfunctioning parents aren't helping their kids, they're hurting them. The same is true for leaders. Here's what that looks like and what to do differently.Show Notes:Parents Who Hire Elite Tutors Are Setting Up Their Kids for Failure by Katie RoipheSupport My Work for as little as $5/month.Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Emotionally dependent people make demands that often use fear, obligation and/or guilt. Here's how to manage yourself and the situation.Show Notes:How to Disarm any NarcissistBehavior Expert Reveals Exactly What To Say To A Narcissist - Chase HughesSubscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
How we respond to challenge and crisis is a big factor in whether we will survive and even thrive. These three factors come from a lecture that Edwin Friedman gave in 1985.Show Notes:Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and SynagogueThe Center for Family ProcessSubscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Non-anxious leaders take action, however small. Even if you are happy (currently), this episode covers what you can do when you're frustrated with your country and the world. Show Notes: Future Christian Podcast Ground News Episode 304: What to Do Now that the Election Is Over Episode 276: 10 Steps to Effectively Deal with Resistance (Part 1 of 2) Episode 277: 10 Steps to Effectively Deal with Resistance (Part 2 of 2) Calling People Forward Instead of Out: Ten Essential Steps - Non Profit News | Nonprofit Quarterly Discipleship Ministries | Ground Rules for Group Discussion 18 Ground Rules for Group Discussions | Facilitator School Ground Rules: How to Set Successful Guidelines for Your Conversation Programs | Programming Librarian Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Dr. Becky Kennedy's AVP strategy is designed for parenting, but it can help you in any anxious situation. Show Notes: Emotional Regulation in Children - Good Inside Episode 99: A Family Systems Take on Non-Violent (or Compassionate) Communication – Part 1 Episode 100: A Family Systems Take on Non-Violent (or Compassionate) Communication – Part 2 Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
In Seth Godin's new book, This Is Strategy, he outlines 10 elements of a system. In this episode, I outline elements seven through ten in family systems terms. Show Notes: This Is Strategy by Seth Godin* Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter. *This is an affiliate link. If you purchase the book, I earn a small commission.
In Seth Godin's new book, This Is Strategy, he outlines 10 elements of a system. In this episode, I outline elements four through six in family systems terms. Show Notes: This Is Strategy by Seth Godin* Download a free copy of One New Habit, One Big Goal: Change Your Life in 10 Weeks (no email address required) Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter. *This is an affiliate link. If you purchase the book, I earn a small commission.
In Seth Godin's new book, This Is Strategy, he outlines 10 elements of a system. In this episode, I outline the first three elements in family systems terms. Show Notes: This Is Strategy by Seth Godin* Download a free copy of One New Habit, One Big Goal: Change Your Life in 10 Weeks (no email address required) Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter. *This is an affiliate link. If you purchase the book, I earn a small commission.
The most effective leaders do a year-end review. Here are three approaches that will help you reflect on all aspects of your life. Doing a year-end review will take you about an hour. It will not only help you make the most of this year's experiences, it will help you get a great start in the new year. Show Notes: Forget New Year's Resolutions and Conduct a ‘Past Year Review' Instead by Tim Ferriss Advice for Entering the New Year: The Yearly Review by Matt Perman Reviewing the Past Year & Looking Ahead to the Coming Year by Kathy Paauw One New Habit, One Big Goal: Change Your Life in 10 Weeks by Jack Shitama Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Self-differentiation is about managing your own functioning. In Part 2, I cover the importance of monitoring your reactivity, pain threshold and seriousness. Show Notes: If You Met My Family, You'd Understand: A Family Systems Primer by Jack Shitama Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter. This page contains affiliate links. I earn a small commission if a purchase is made on Amazon.com.
Self-differentiation is about managing your own functioning. In Part 1, I cover the importance of monitoring emotional distance and unworked out relationships. Show Notes: Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Whether it's your family, organization or congregation, the functioning of any relationship system is dependent on the level of self-differentiation among its members. In this two-part episode, I unpack a schema developed by Daniel V. Papero of the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family. Show Notes: Developing a systems model for family assessment. Family Systems: A Journal of Natural Systems Thinking in Psychiatry and the Sciences. 13, 2, 2018 by Daniel V. Papero. Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday emails.
Whether it's your family, organization or congregation, the functioning of any relationship system is dependent on the level of self-differentiation among its members. In this two-part episode, I unpack a schema developed by Daniel V. Papero of the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family. Show Notes: Developing a systems model for family assessment. Family Systems: A Journal of Natural Systems Thinking in Psychiatry and the Sciences. 13, 2, 2018 by Daniel V. Papero. Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday emails.
Whether it's family or work, having discussions with people who disagree can be a challenge. This episode shows you how you can do better. Show Notes: A Non-Anxious Presence Workbook: Five Steps to Go Be Yourself (available for $9 until Midnight EST on Friday, November 29, 2024; $15 after that). Episode 99: A Family Systems Take on Non-Violent (or Compassionate) Communication – Part 1 Episode 100: A Family Systems Take on Non-Violent (or Compassionate) Communication – Part 2 Cup of Empathy - Marianne VanDijk NVC for People Pleasers Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
The division in our world is unsustainable. If we don't do something, we're headed for disaster. Here's what you can do. Show Notes: Why We Got It So Wrong by David Brooks Nonviolence - The Martin Luther King, Jr. Research and Education Institute at Stanford University: David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants by Malcom Gladwell Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Whether or not you supported the winner or even live in the US, this episode can help you grow as a non-anxious leader. Show Notes: Nonviolence - The Martin Luther King, Jr. Research and Education Institute at Stanford University Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
This episode is a presentation from the Family Systems Book Study that puts family systems theory in context for the non-anxious leader. Show Notes: Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Self-differentiation enables you to not take things personally and to foster autonomy in others. Here's how. Show Notes: Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
If you're too serious, you will raise anxiety in the relationship systems that you lead. Here's how humor can help. Show Notes: Leaders Can Carry Too Much Truth Through Humor - Admired Leadership How to Develop Your Most Important Asset as a Leader: Trust - The Non-Anxious Leader Blog Little Bets: How Breakthrough Ideas Emerge from Small Discoveries by Peter Sims Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Allowing others to experience the pain and consequences of their actions (and life in general) will help them build resilience and capacity. Here's how. Show Notes: Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
If you want to calm down, grow up and live your best life, this audio version of the book can help. Show Notes: Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
If you want to calm down, grow up and live your best life, this audio version of the book can help. Show Notes: Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
If you want to calm down, grow up and live your best life, this audio version of the book can help. Show Notes: Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Reciprocity is a part of life. This episode explains what it is and how Non-Anxious Leaders approach it. Show Notes: Richer Than Yesterday from The Brain Food Newsletter The Great Mental Models, Volume 2: Physics, Chemistry, and Biology by Shane Parrish and Rhiannon Beaubien Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
A Non-Anxious Leader knows the difference between a threat and a boundary. This episode goes through five differences, as described by Marianne van Dijk, and unpacks the family systems elements of each. Show Notes: cupofempathy.com Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter. Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.
The best team members understand what it means to be a self AND be a part of a team. Here's what that looks like. Show Notes: Togetherness, individuality, and the downside of being a pommel horse guy by Kathleen Smith Episode 284: How Positive Intelligence Helps You to Be a Non-Anxious Presence (Part 1 of 2) Episode 285: How Positive Intelligence Helps You to Be a Non-Anxious Presence (Part 2of 2) Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
A non-anxious leader works to be their best self so that others can do the same. Here's what that looks like. Show Notes: Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Non-anxious leaders say what they believe while giving others the freedom to disagree. In this political season, the research shows why this matters. Show Notes: When Political Discussions Get Heated, Is It Best to Just Stay Out of It? from Kellogg Insight Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Dr. Kathleen Smith is a therapist, author and faculty member at the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family. In this final segment of our discussion, we discuss how a leader manages healthy connection, what progress looks like and Kathleen's take on societal anxiety. Show Notes: Everything Isn't Terrible: Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your Anxiety, and Finally Calm Down True To You: A Therapist's Guide to Stop Pleasing Others and Start Being Yourself The Anxious Overachiever | Kathleen Smith | Substack Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter
Dr. Kathleen Smith is a therapist, author and faculty member at the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family. In this episode, we discuss the importance of mini-steps, the nature of doing your own work, why connection matters in leadership and the anxiety of progress. Show Notes: Everything Isn't Terrible: Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your Anxiety, and Finally Calm Down True To You: A Therapist's Guide to Stop Pleasing Others and Start Being Yourself The Anxious Overachiever | Kathleen Smith | Substack Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter
Dr. Kathleen Smith is a therapist, author and faculty member at the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family. In this episode, we discuss managing anxiety, embracing discomfort and how overfunctioning and underfunctioning are related. Show Notes: Everything Isn't Terrible: Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your Anxiety, and Finally Calm Down True To You: A Therapist's Guide to Stop Pleasing Others and Start Being Yourself The Anxious Overachiever | Kathleen Smith | Substack Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Dr. Kathleen Smith is a therapist, author and faculty member at the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family. In this episode, she shares how she got into Bowen Theory, as well as suggestions for how people can do their own family of origin work. Show Notes: Everything Isn't Terrible: Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your Anxiety, and Finally Calm Down True To You: A Therapist's Guide to Stop Pleasing Others and Start Being Yourself The Anxious Overachiever | Kathleen Smith | Substack Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Robert Kegan's five stages of adult development are analogous to the process of self-differentiation. Here's my take. Show Notes: Adult Development Theory: How Can Leaders Grow As Adults? Part 1 – Context Professionals How To Be an Adult: The 5 Stages of Adult Development (sourcesofinsight.com) Podcast - The Non-Anxious Leader (thenonanxiousleader.com) Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Understanding the difference between worry, stress, anxiety and excitement can help leaders remain a non-anxious presence in the most challenging moments. Show Notes: The Difference Between Worry, Stress and Anxiety by Emma Pattee A Bundle of Nerves – Choiceology Podcast with Katy Milkman Get Excited: Reappraising Pre-Performance Anxiety as Excitement by Alison Wood Brooks Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
This episode continues with an explanation of Positive Intelligence and covers the three strategies to increase your PQ so you can be a non-anxious presence. Show Notes: Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential AND HOW YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOURS by Shirzad Chamine Take the Saboteur Assessment | Positive Intelligence Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message
Positive Intelligence is a practical approach to help you be your best through self-regulation and self-differentiation. This two-part series explains what it is and how it can help you. Show Notes: Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential AND HOW YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOURS by Shirzad Chamine Take the Saboteur Assessment | Positive Intelligence Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message
It's getting harder and harder for us to work together across differences. Here's a family systems take on why, as well as what you can do about it. Show Notes: Can We Just Coexist? by Dennis Sanders Future Christian Podcast Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message
The Eightfold Path is a core set of Zen Principles that can help you grow as a non-anxious presence. Show Notes: What is the Eightfold Path? | Zen-Buddhism.net Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message
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