Podcasts about nerve leadership

Martha Beck's concept of the anxiety spiral and creativity spiral resonate with Edwin Friedman's definition of a non-anxious leader. Here's how.Show Notes:Beyond Anxiety: Curiosity, Creativity and Finding Your Life's Purpose by Martha BeckA Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin FriedmanBecome a Patron for as little as $5/month.Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

In times of profound crisis, where do we turn? How do spiritual practices and Christian wisdom help us navigate life's most challenging seasons? In this episode, Russell Moore sits down with Westmont College president Gayle Beebe to explore themes from his book The Crucibles That Shape Us. Together, they unpack how moments of intense pressure and uncertainty—whether personal, professional, or spiritual—can become transformative experiences that deepen our faith and character. Drawing from decades of pastoral and educational leadership, Beebe shares insights about facing crossroads with wisdom, courage, and resilience. Moore and Beebe discuss practical ways to maintain spiritual equilibrium during upheaval, the role of community in crisis, and ways to discern God's presence in our darkest hours. This conversation offers hope and guidance for listeners wrestling with their own crucible moments, and it also explores how Christian formation happens not despite our trials but often through them. Resources mentioned in this episode or recommended by the guest include: The Crucibles That Shape Us: Navigating the Defining Challenges of Leadership by Gayle Beebe  Traces of God by Diogenes Allen Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin H. Friedman “Four Quartets 1: Burnt Norton” by T. S. Eliot East of Eden by John Steinbeck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How can Christians know if they are managing their relationships in a healthy way? What does it look like to treat people with mental health disorders lovingly and respectfully? When should parents of young adults speak up, and when should they let their children learn on their own? These are the types of inquiries that you, listeners of Being Human, have shared with us. Listen as the Cusses answer: What are family systems theory and internal family systems theory, and how do they relate to faith? How can Christians discern between healthy, gospel-based differentiation of self and becoming detached or cynical? How can leaders operate so that those around them can air their differences without dumping all their projections onto the leader? What does it look like to navigate settings where an individual's mental health struggle is setting the tone for a group? Since most well-meaning laypeople are not trained therapists, what is the church's role in dealing with mental illness? What are some words of wisdom for parents whose children will soon exit their teen years and enter young adulthood? Resources mentioned in this episode include: Bowen family systems theory Internal family systems theory  A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin H. Friedman Borderline personality disorder (BPD) “Introducing ‘Being Human with Steve Cuss'” Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs by Steve Cuss The Expectation Gap: The Tiny, Vast Space between Our Beliefs & Experience of God by Steve Cuss Capable Life Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How can Christians know if they are managing their relationships in a healthy way? What does it look like to treat people with mental health disorders lovingly and respectfully? When should parents of young adults speak up, and when should they let their children learn on their own? These are the types of inquiries that you, listeners of Being Human, have shared with us. Listen as the Cusses answer: What are family systems theory and internal family systems theory, and how do they relate to faith? How can Christians discern between healthy, gospel-based differentiation of self and becoming detached or cynical? How can leaders operate so that those around them can air their differences without dumping all their projections onto the leader? What does it look like to navigate settings where an individual's mental health struggle is setting the tone for a group? Since most well-meaning laypeople are not trained therapists, what is the church's role in dealing with mental illness? What are some words of wisdom for parents whose children will soon exit their teen years and enter young adulthood? Resources mentioned in this episode include: Bowen family systems theory Internal family systems theory  A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin H. Friedman Borderline personality disorder (BPD) “Introducing ‘Being Human with Steve Cuss'” Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs by Steve Cuss The Expectation Gap: The Tiny, Vast Space between Our Beliefs & Experience of God by Steve Cuss Capable Life Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When we think about anxiety, we typically think of something that is generated and felt within an individual. But Murray Bowen, a psychiatrist of the mid-20th century, argued that anxiety was also created by the interactions between individuals and could spread like a contagion in a group, an idea known as "Family Systems Theory."Here to offer an introduction to Family Systems Theory and how its implications extend far beyond the family is Steve Cuss, who is a former hospital chaplain, a pastor, the founder of Capable Life, which offers coaching and consultation, and the author of Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs. Today on the show, Steve and I discuss how individuals in both families and organizations can "infect a situation with [their] own assumptions and expectations" and create a sense of anxiety that permeates a group. Steve unpacks the false needs that create chronic anxiety in an individual, how this anxiety spreads to others, and the unhealthy ways people deal with this tension, including becoming fused together. And we talk about how to put this anxiety back where it belongs, and how a single person can change a group dynamic by differentiating from it and becoming a rooted self.Resources Related to the PodcastMurray BowenA Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin H. FriedmanAoM Article: The 5 Characteristics of Highly Dysfunctional GroupsAoM Article: Becoming a Well-Differentiated LeaderThe Cornerstone Concept by Roberta M. GilbertSunday Firesides: You Are Not Responsible for Other People's FeelingsConnect With Steve CussSteve's website

How many minutes per week do you think you can be exactly yourself? That's the question that host Steve Cuss poses at the beginning of this episode, and it takes on specific meaning as he converses with his guest, Marvin Williams. Williams is the lead pastor of Trinity Church in Lansing, Michigan, and is currently earning his doctorate in systems theory, particularly as it pertains to the African-American experience. His forthcoming dissertation, My Whole Black Self, considers what it's like to be exactly yourself and what happens when people cannot be exactly themselves.  Cuss and Williams discuss what drew Williams to systems theory, how leadership starts with personal transformation, and what it looks like to live in one's identity fully. They talk about bullying, anxiety, and the Black writers, thinkers, and experts who have influenced Williams' perspective. The two discuss connectedness, what it's like to be in majority culture spaces, and how calmness is not always the opposite of anxiety. Their discussion also explores violence against Black Americans, the nuances of pastoring, and the role of politics in the life of the church.  The Expectation Gap by Steve Cuss is now available—order here! Resources mentioned in this episode include:  Marvin Williams A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin H. Friedman Murray Bowen Bowen family systems theory Trisha Taylor “To Belong to One Another: Remaining Calm and Curious in Times of High Anxiety” with Rich Villodas The Souls of Black Folk from W.E.B. Du Bois Psychological Storms: The African American Struggle for Identity by Thomas Parham Charlie Dates Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison “Being Human with Steve Cuss” is a production of Christianity Today Executive Produced by Erik Petrik and Mike Cosper Produced and Edited by Matt Stevens Associate Producers: McKenzie Hill, Raed Gilliam, and Abby Perry Theme song by Dan Phelps Original Music by Andy Gullahorn Mix Engineer: Kevin Morris Graphic Design: Amy Jones Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How many minutes per week do you think you can be exactly yourself? That's the question that host Steve Cuss poses at the beginning of this episode, and it takes on specific meaning as he converses with his guest, Marvin Williams. Williams is the lead pastor of Trinity Church in Lansing, Michigan, and is currently earning his doctorate in systems theory, particularly as it pertains to the African-American experience. His forthcoming dissertation, My Whole Black Self, considers what it's like to be exactly yourself and what happens when people cannot be exactly themselves.  Cuss and Williams discuss what drew Williams to systems theory, how leadership starts with personal transformation, and what it looks like to live in one's identity fully. They talk about bullying, anxiety, and the Black writers, thinkers, and experts who have influenced Williams' perspective. The two discuss connectedness, what it's like to be in majority culture spaces, and how calmness is not always the opposite of anxiety. Their discussion also explores violence against Black Americans, the nuances of pastoring, and the role of politics in the life of the church.  The Expectation Gap by Steve Cuss is now available—order here! Resources mentioned in this episode include:  Marvin Williams A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin H. Friedman Murray Bowen Bowen family systems theory Trisha Taylor “To Belong to One Another: Remaining Calm and Curious in Times of High Anxiety” with Rich Villodas The Souls of Black Folk from W.E.B. Du Bois Psychological Storms: The African American Struggle for Identity by Thomas Parham Charlie Dates Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison “Being Human with Steve Cuss” is a production of Christianity Today Executive Produced by Erik Petrik and Mike Cosper Produced and Edited by Matt Stevens Associate Producers: McKenzie Hill, Raed Gilliam, and Abby Perry Theme song by Dan Phelps Original Music by Andy Gullahorn Mix Engineer: Kevin Morris Graphic Design: Amy Jones Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Emotional sabotage has steered and shaped many of the major decisions of the Southern Baptist Convention from the early 2020s to the present. How? Keep listening. Resources to Click “The SBC Isn't Drifting, It's Being Steered: A Sober-Minded Response to Emotional Sabotage” – Michael Carlino “Do You Feel My Pain? Empathy Sympathy, and Dangerous Virtues” – Joe Rigney “Empathy, Feminism, and the Church” – Joe Rigney “Of Empathy and Monsters” – Joe Rigney “Brothers, Don't Be Steered” – Joe Rigney “The SBC in a Crowded Theater” – Mark Coppenger “The Path Forward on Abuse Reform in the SBC” – Josh Abbotoy, Jon Whitehead “Can the Cooperation Continue? What the End of the BSA Means for the Future of the SBC?” – Jon Whitehead “Four Facts about Sexual Abuse in the Southern Baptist Convention (Part 1)” – Heath Lambert “Four Facts about Sexual Abuse in the Southern Baptist Convention (Part 2)” – Heath Lambert “Four Facts about Sexual Abuse in the Southern Baptist Convention (Part 3)” – Heath Lambert “Four Facts about Sexual Abuse in the Southern Baptist Convention (Part 4)” – Heath Lambert “Complementarian Confessional Conflagration” – Denny Burk “How Many Pastors are in the SBC?” – Kevin McClure The State of the SBC with Dr. Albert Mohler – Kenwood Institute “Feminine Emotionalism and the Evangelical Conscience” – G. Shane Morris “Not a Freelance Club: Identity, Association, and Confessionalism in the SBC” – Colin Smothers ““The Power and Duty of An Association”: Have Baptist Associations Historically Disfellowshipped Disorderly Churches?” – Caleb Morell “Act Like Men” – Kevin DeYoung “What Is Effeminacy?: A Survey of Scripture and History” – Steven Wedgeworth SBCAmendment.org Theme of the Month: Great Books Throughout the Ages Give to Support the Work Books to Read Leadership and Emotional Sabotage – Joe Rigney A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix – Edwin Friedman

Listen in as a Joe Rigney and Michael Carlino join David Schrock to discuss Joe's book Leadership and Emotional Sabotage and to apply the lessons from this book to the Southern Baptist Convention. Timestamps Intro – 00:28 Joe Rigney's Time and Interest in the SBC - 03:26 The Genesis of Joe Rigney's Book and Edwin Friedman 05:45 Rigney's Influence on Michael Carlino - 10:18 How Do We See the Sin of Empathy Being Worked Out in the SBC Today? - 13:34 Friedman's Fable Regarding Empathy - 16:35 Neutralizing the SBC and the Progressive Gaze - 21:54 Being Fractured and Frustrated - 26:14 Sensing the Steering - 27:22 How Does the Law Amendment Help the SBC to Not Be Steered? - 29:43 Feminism and Femininity -33:21 Women Should Not Be the Barometer for the Church - 36:04 The Female Gaze - 38:21 Deborah, Barak, and Jael - 39:51 The Levites Being Able to Suppress Brotherly Affection - 41:49 Closing and Outro - 45:16  Resources to Click “The SBC Isn't Drifting, It's Being Steered: A Sober-Minded Response to Emotional Sabotage” – Michael Carlino “Of Empathy and Monsters” – Joe Rigney “With One Voice” – Joe Rigney Center For Baptist Leadership Podcast Learn about the Law Amendment at SBCAmendment.org The Sin of Empathy – Doug Wilson and Joe Rigney Donate to the SBC Giveaway of Leadership and Emotional Sabotage Register for SBC at a Crossroads Theme of the Month: Great Books Throughout the Ages Give to Support the Work  Books to Read Leadership and Emotional Sabotage – Joe Rigney The Things of Earth: Treasuring God by Enjoying His Gifts – Joe Rigney A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix – Edwin Friedman Friedman's Fables – Edwin Friedman

So much of our experience is shaped by what gets passed down to us. Whether it's trauma, wisdom, or a signature hair color, traits and knowledge travel from generation to generation. On this episode of Being Human, Steve Cuss welcomes George Dobeler, the chaplain who first passed down the concept of family systems theory to Cuss. Doebler and Cuss talk about Doebler's learning from Murray Bowen, who founded the theory. They discuss the importance of understanding one's family system when it comes to diffusing anxiety. Doebler and Cuss provide real-life examples of systems theory helping people become less reactive and more in touch with God, themselves, and others.  Their conversation covers chaplaincy, trauma recovery, and how theology shapes our responses to anxiety. Resources mentioned in this episode include:  Bowen family systems theory George Doebler Murray Bowen Harry Stack Sullivan Edwin H. Friedman Genogram Friedman's Fables by Edwin H. Friedman A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin H. Friedman “Being Human with Steve Cuss” is a production of Christianity Today Executive Produced by Erik Petrik and Mike Cosper Produced and Edited by Matt Stevens Associate Producers: McKenzie Hill, Raed Gilliam, and Abby Perry Theme song by Dan Phelps Original Music by Andy Gullahorn Mix Engineer: Kevin Morris Graphic Design: Amy Jones Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So much of our experience is shaped by what gets passed down to us. Whether it's trauma, wisdom, or a signature hair color, traits and knowledge travel from generation to generation. On this episode of Being Human, Steve Cuss welcomes George Dobeler, the chaplain who first passed down the concept of family systems theory to Cuss. Doebler and Cuss talk about Doebler's learning from Murray Bowen, who founded the theory. They discuss the importance of understanding one's family system when it comes to diffusing anxiety. Doebler and Cuss provide real-life examples of systems theory helping people become less reactive and more in touch with God, themselves, and others.  Their conversation covers chaplaincy, trauma recovery, and how theology shapes our responses to anxiety. Resources mentioned in this episode include:  Bowen family systems theory George Doebler Murray Bowen Harry Stack Sullivan Edwin H. Friedman Genogram Friedman's Fables by Edwin H. Friedman A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin H. Friedman “Being Human with Steve Cuss” is a production of Christianity Today Executive Produced by Erik Petrik and Mike Cosper Produced and Edited by Matt Stevens Associate Producers: McKenzie Hill, Raed Gilliam, and Abby Perry Theme song by Dan Phelps Original Music by Andy Gullahorn Mix Engineer: Kevin Morris Graphic Design: Amy Jones Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Edwin Friedman's last book, A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, challenges us to lead differently. Here's how. Show Notes: A Failure of Nerve, Revised Edition: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ emails. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message

Self-differentiating, taking responsibility for self, can be hard when others respond by defining and blaming you. This is sabotage. Here are three steps to respond effectively. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogueby Edwin Friedman* A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman* Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday emails. *These are affiliate links. I earn a small commission if a purchase is made. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jack-shitama/message

What's Our Problem?: A Self-Help Book for Societies by: Tim Urban The Machinery of Freedom – Guide to a Radical Capitalism by: David Friedman The Moth Presents All These Wonders: True Stories About Facing the Unknown by: Various A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by: Edwin H. Friedman Life at the Bottom: The Worldview that Makes the Underclass by: Theodore Dalrymple Wild Problems: A Guide to the Decisions That Define Us by: Russ Roberts Darkness at Noon by: Arthur Koestler The Horse and His Boy by: C. S. Lewis Prince Caspian by: C. S. Lewis Voyage of the Dawn Treader by: C. S. Lewis The Silver Chair by: C. S. Lewis The Last Battle by: C. S. Lewis Till We Have Faces by: C. S. Lewis

“And Jesus came and touched them, saying, ‘Get up and do not be afraid…” (Mt. 17). Grace Cathedral, San Francisco, CA 2D12 Last Epiphany (Year A) 11:00 a.m. Sunday 19 February 2023 Exodus 24:12-18 Psalm 99:1-8 2 Peter 1:16-21 Matthew 17:1-9 Last week in an email my friend Hugh Morgan observed that when it comes to social justice the Old Testament prophets sound strikingly modern to him. He wonders if the Old Testament has a stronger social justice message than the New Testament. [1] Today we consider this question.   But first let's define social justice as equality in wealth, political influence, cultural impact, respect… in opportunities to make a difference, to love and serve others. It involves creating a society in which every person is treated with dignity as a child of God, as bearing God's image. Jesus calls this the realm of God. Martin Luther King calls it “the beloved community.”   Today we celebrate the Last Sunday of Epiphany. Epiphany means a shining forth. You might call it a realization that utterly transforms us. The culminating story of this season occurs on a mountain top when Jesus' friends experience a mystical encounter with God.   In a recent conversation the law professor Patricia Williams spoke about two epiphanies that she had had. [2] For her whole life she had taken at face value family stories she had heard about her great-great-grandmother. These described her as a lazy person who was constantly fishing, as someone that no one liked. Then when Williams was in her twenties her sister discovered the bill of sale for their great-great-grandmother. In an instant she realized the truth. At the age of eleven her great-great-grandmother had been sold away from all that she had ever known. Two years later she was pregnant with the child of the dissatisfied thirty-five year old man who had bought her. She was traumatized so alienated from his children, who were taught to look down on her, that the only thing they chose to tell her descendants was that she was unpopular. To get to the truth Patricia Williams had to interpret those two stories together and to have empathy for someone's suffering. We have to do the same thing in order to understand the Bible.   Getting back to our question, Hugh makes a wise observation about the importance of social justice in the Old Testament. The deceased Berkeley sociologist Robert Bellah (1927-2013) wrote a book called Religion in Human Evolution: From the Paleolithic to the Axial Age. He asks about how religious belief makes large human societies possible. He notes that Israel first appears in Egyptian records in the year 1208 BCE, long before anything written in the Bible.   He points out two notable features about the social world that produced the Old Testament. First, that this it attempts to establish a society not on the role of one man as a divine king (like most Egyptian pharaohs) but rather on a covenant between God and the people. Moses is a prophet not a divine king.   The second thing he notices is that the prophets, for instance, Amos does not just condemn failures of religious ritual but the mistreatment of the weak and poor. Amos criticizes both foreigners and his own people. He writes, “Thus says the Lord: For three transgressions of Israel, and for four I will not revoke the punishment; because they sell the righteous for silver and the needy for a pair of shoes” (Amos 2). [3]   At this point I feel compelled to tell you more about the Old Testament. It will be a long time before Chat GPT can write an accurate sermon. I am totally astonished by how incorrect search engine results are when it comes to some of the most basic issues in religion. This includes how we determine when these books were written. There was no journalist taking notes in the Garden of Eden or the court of David. The books of the Bible were not written in the order in which the events they record happened, or in the order in which they are presented. One way to look at it is to see them growing up around the two ideas I just mentioned from the prophet Amos – that there is one God for all people and that God cares how the poor are treated. Scholars believe that the words of the prophet Amos were among the first in the entire Bible. So it is not as if the world was created, Noah built an ark, Abraham met God, God chose the Tribes of Israel, David's kingdom was established, many other kings reigned and then social justice became important. Social justice, this idea of God's universality and the dignity of every person, comes first. The other stories are ancient but put together by writers with this conviction in mind.   So the twentieth century rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel calls the prophets, “the most disturbing people who ever lived” and “the [ones] who brought the Bible into being.” They “ceaseless[ly] shatter our indifference.” They interpret our existence from the perspective of God. Heschel writes that the prophets have assimilated their emotional life to that of the Divine so that the prophet, “lives not only his personal life but also the life of God. The prophet hears God's voice and feels His heart.” [4]   The Old Testament was written mostly in Hebrew with three main types of literature the Torah (instruction or) the law, the Nevi'im or prophets, and the Ketuvim or the writings. The New Testament was written in Greek under Roman occupation and includes totally different genres: gospels, epistles or letters, and John's apocalyptic conclusion the Book of Revelation. As Jesus alludes to in the Book of Matthew, the New Testament is built on the foundation of the old – that there is one God for all the nations who cares about human dignity. It has a different feeling because it is composed at a different time, under different social circumstances for a different audience. But for me it is not less focused on social justice. Christians do not worship the Bible, but the person of Jesus. Jesus is how we understand our lives and our connection to God.   We see this in today's gospel. The story of the Transfiguration is not so much about a private mystical experience, but a meditation on Christ's passion. It exists to shape our response to Jesus' death on the cross. Imagine the Book of Matthew. We climb up one side through Jesus' teaching and healing until we finally hear Jesus describe how his death will be. The disciples cannot take it in. We go down the other side to Jerusalem where Jesus will be killed. And for a reassuring moment we linger at the mountaintop.   Let me briefly tell you three things about the Greek text. Matthew uses the emphatic word idou or “Behold! Look!” three times. First, before the appearance of Moses who represents the law, and Elijah who stands for the prophets. Then again when a shining cloud appears and yet again when God says, “This is my Son, the Beloved; with him I am well pleased” (Mt. 17). Jesus' friends feel so afraid they fall down like dead people. Jesus tells his friends to rise up and uses the same word he does when he says that the Son of Man will be raised from the dead. Jesus touches them in a reassuring way. The Greek word hapsamenos means to touch, hold or grasp. But it also can be translated as to light or ignite a flame.   What does it mean for social justice, to have at the heart of our religion a man who gives up his life and is executed? It is not just what Jesus says that matters. He gives his life to help make real this idea that God loves every human being, that each life has innate dignity. This includes the truth that death is not the end.   Although Christians often get lost in the belief that faith is about an isolated individual's personal salvation, there is a deep tradition of meditating on the way Jesus' death reverses the overwhelming evil all around us. I do not have time for more examples but I would like to mention Basil of Caesarea (330-379).   In the Gospel of Luke Jesus tells the story about a rich man who has so much property that he decides to build a bigger barn to hold it all so that he can “eat, drink and be merry” (Lk. 12). That night the foolish man dies. So the fourth century Basil wrote a sermon about this. He says that what we think we need constantly changes. We are metaphorically building smaller and bigger barns all the time. When we think we need too much we cannot be generous to others.   Basil says, “How can I bring the sufferings of the poverty-stricken to your attention? When they look around inside their hovels… [and] find clothes and furnishings so miserable… worth only a few cents. What then? They turn their gaze to their own children, thinking that perhaps by bringing them to the slave-market they might find some respite from death. Consider now the violent struggle that takes place between the desperation arising from famine and a parent's fundamental instincts. Starvation on the one side threatens horrible death, while nature resists, convincing the parents rather to die with their children. Time and again they vacillate, but in the end they succumb, driven by want and cruel necessity.” [5] The Christian tradition in every generation is filled with appeals like this. They beg us to recognize the full humanity of every person.   Let me tell you the second of Patricia Williams' two epiphanies. When she was a child there were very few women or Black people who were judges, law professors, law partners, attorney generals, etc. Virtually all law had been written by white men. Because of this there were blind spots, basic failures to understand society that had crucial legal ramifications. [6]   Professor Williams and other intellectuals invented Critical Race Theory to address this, to help the law work for all people, not just those in power. These debates were largely for people in universities until about ten years ago. In our conversation Professor Williams expressed her surprise when she heard a powerful political consultant talk about how he had made millions of Americans fear and hate this social justice project. He had successfully convinced them to regard Critical Race Theory as divisive and dangerous to white people. He explicitly stated that increasing their anger was a means of getting their votes. [7]   The great twentieth century Jewish expert in building healthy religious congregations Edwin Friedman frequently repeats this warning. “Expect sabotage.” [8] When we are working for good, to change how things are, we will be opposed. Those who care about social justice need to understand that there will be people who actively seek to thwart it.   Patricia Williams is a prophet for me, shattering my indifference. Many here this morning are prophets to me also. Behold. Be ignited. Shine forth. Let the realization of Jesus' love utterly transform us. [1] Hugh Morgan, 9 February 2023. “In reading Isaiah and the minor prophets, I am struck by how modern they sound, when calling out issues of social justice.  Of course, our thinking has been influenced by the enlightenment and all that came after it, so my brain may be predisposed to see these threads in the text.  But they are there. You do not see the same strength of views on social justice in the New Testament, certainly little about upsetting the then current order.  And I do not think you see similar messages supporting the oppressed in Greek or Roman writings (I have a super limited sense of what these are.) And, you do not see "social justice thought" - a very modern thing - called out, developed, emphasized from the OT texts in the early church, nor through the reformation, not even in the revivals in America and England in the late 1800s. Two questions to ponder 1. Where did the social justice message in the OT come from? 2.  Are there strains of this message in church history that I / we are not aware of?” [2] Patricia J. Williams on the Grace Cathedral Forum, 1 February 2023. https://youtu.be/8h-xHY7OIuY . Also see Patricia J. Williams, The Alchemy of Race and Rights: Diary of a Law Professor (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1991) 17-19. [3] Robert Bellay, Religion in Human Evolution: From the Paleolithic to the Axial Age (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 2011). Quoting Michael Walzer and David Malo on a covenant between the people and God (310f). Amos' ethical statements (302). [4] Abraham Joshua Heschel, The Prophets: An Introduction, Volume One (NY: Harper, 1962) ix-26. [5] “How can I bring the sufferings of the poverty-stricken to your attention? When they look around inside their hovels… [and] find clothes and furnishings so miserable… worth only a few cents. What then? They turn their gaze to their own children, thinking that perhaps by bringing them to the slave-market they might find some respite from death. Consider now the violent struggle that takes place between the desperation arising from famine and a parent's fundamental instincts. Starvation on the one side threatens horrible death, while nature resists, convincing the parents rather to die with their children. Time and again they vacillate, but in the end they succumb, driven by want and cruel necessity.” Basil of Caesarea, “I Will Tear Down My Barns.” Tr. Paul Shroeder. Cited in Logismoi. http://logismoitouaaron.blogspot.com/2010/03/on-social-justice-by-st-basil-great.html [6] Professor Patricia J. Williams and I talked about “stand your ground” laws that result in much higher rates of death among Black men, because white people are more likely to be afraid of them. [7] In an online interaction I heard from someone who is monomaniacally focused on the idea that Critical Race Theory must necessarily involve government forced discrimination against white people. He did not have the time to see the Patricia Williams interview. He had already made up his mind. [8] “Sabotage is part and parcel of the systemic process of leadership.” Edwin Friedman, A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix (NY: Church Publishing, 2017 revised).

What do we do when things fall apart? The way we answer this question shows us the truth of who we are. We all look great when things are comfortable. It's in the times of challenge, when the building is burning down around us, when all that we've held onto dissolves in our arms, that our true allegiance, our true character, our true identity get revealed. We are busy people living in a busy world, and it causes us to seek life in the rapid and immediate. Yet our culture seems more anxious, lonely, and depressed than we ever have - our insta-culture is failing to provide us the lasting life we're looking for. Listen as Pastor Clint explores the life of Jeremiah, which served as a salve to the futile, shallow pursuits of his own world and led Jeremiah to a robust, holistic, meaningful life. As it turns out, true life doesn't come through the rapid and immediate: it comes through a long obedience in the same direction. Sermon Resources: 1. Study on smartphones: https://www.businessinsider.com/dscout-research-people-touch-cell-phones-2617-times-a-day-2016-7 2. “Horror Vacui” - Baruch Spinoza 3. "passion for the immediate and the casual..." Gore Vidal, "Matters of Fact and Fiction: Essays" 4. “The anxiety is so deep within the emotional processes of our nation that it is almost as though neurosis has become nationalized.” -Edwin Friedman, "A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix" 5. Camino de Santiago: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camino_de_Santiago 6. “The essential thing in heaven and in earth is that there should be a long obedience in the same direction that thereby results, in the long run, in something which makes life worth living—virtue, art, music, dancing, reason, spirituality—anything whatsoever that is transfiguring, refined, foolish, or divine.” -Frederick Nietzsche, "Beyond Good and Evil" Join or follow us below: Facebook: www.facebook.com/midtownpreschurch Instagram: www.instagram.com/midtown.pres/ Website: www.midtownpres.org/ Community Groups: www.midtownpres.org/community-groups Sunday Services: www.midtownpres.org/

"What advice would you give leaders – especially those entering leadership for the first time" In this episode, we are joined by Jay Kim to answer our leadership question. Jay serves as lead pastor at WestGate, a multi-congregational church in the Silicon Valley of California. He's the author of several books. Jay is stretching our perspective as Christians on the human need for analog connection and our role as leaders in setting the stage for that human connection we need in a digital world. LESSONS FROM A LEADERSHIP JOURNEY What I have learned is that if there is a tension between going too slow or going too fast, my suggestion would be to err on the side of going too slow. I have discovered that in the moments when we chose to go slow, if we realized that we had maybe gone slower than we should have, there were creative ways that we could do the work to catch up. But in those experiences when I went too fast, the damage done is pretty difficult to undo.” (3:10) Almost always my instinctive reaction or response to a particular situation or circumstance, or challenge or obstacle is always immediately sort of the jumbled mess of my insecurity mixed with wisdom. Lack of experience mixed with my drive. I have found it's worth taking the time to take a deep breath, to walk away, to ask for time when necessary, to not respond right away, to not allow external forces to impose an immediate response or reaction. What I'm trying to achieve is clarity. I just don't want to make a decision until I have some semblance of clarity. (6:35) ADDRESSING THE FRENZY OF LEADERSHIP Frenetic shallowness is essentially the state in which most of us live most of the time, specifically in the digital age. It's frenetic not only because of our digital devices, it's frenetic because we are constantly moving from one thing to the next. (11:16) It's called frenetic shallowness, because that's what our frenzy does to us. It makes us really shallow. It actually just whittles us down to our most animalistic bare bones instincts. (12:46) BECOMING THE NON-ANXIOUS LEADER One of the primary responsibilities of a leader is to be a non anxious presence. If we live in a constant state of frenetic shallowness, we will be nothing but anxious. (15:10) What this demands is that we detach and untether ourselves from the frenzy and the frenetic shallowness that surrounds us. (16:26) [READ MORE about how to untether from the frenzy…] LINKS TO CHECK OUT: Send your question HERE – in writing or by recording  Connect with Jay Y. Kim or follow him on Twitter or Instagram (@jaykimthinks) Deep Work by Cal Newport A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix Notre Dame Study on Wellbeing at Work for Clergy What are Alpha Brain Waves and Why Are They Important Episode 28: What is a Moment of Holy Uselessness Learn more about Annie

In a two-part discussion, Autumn and Hunter consider a book by Pastor and Author Mark Sayers entitled “A Non-Anxious Presence: How a Changing and Complex World Will Create a Remnant of Renewed Christian Leaders.” Sayers observes that the moral, geopolitical, and cultural norms of the past many years are being challenged and will eventually give way to a new order. We are moving into an undetermined era which Sayers calls a “gray zone,“ filled with upheaval and tension. In a modern gray zone, super-charged by our complex, networked reality, tension manifests as collective anxiety. However, a more compelling, brighter reality comes into focus in Sayer's writing. God repeatedly uses these moments in history to bring about renewal through leaders who maintain a non-anxious presence, deeply connected to God regardless of the cultural and political melee. Resources mentioned in this episode: "A Non-Anxious Presence: How a Changing and Complex World will Create a Remnant of Renewed Christian Leaders" by Mark Sayers (https://www.amazon.com/dp/0802428576/) "A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix" by Edwin Friedman (https://www.amazon.com/dp/1596272791/)

"The Magic Ring" from Friedman's Fables highlights the upside of being able to act freely without fear. This episode shows you how this works in real life. Show Notes: Friedman's Fables by Edwin Friedman A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jack-shitama/message

Host: Sophia Kornienko, writer/ animation artist/ unschooling mom Co-hosts: Martha Skinner, former professor of architecture, artist who works together with her daughter, now a young adultMarta Obiols Llistar, unschooling mom of three, educator, author of the book 18, An Unschooling ExperienceResources:Edwin H. Friedman, Margaret M. Treadwell, Edward W. Beal. “A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix”, Church Publishing, Inc., 2007.Robert Epstein. What Makes a Good Parent? Scientific American Mind, Special Collectors Edition. Raise Great Kids: How to Help Them Thrive in School and Life. Vol. 25, No.2, summer 2016. William Stixrud, Ned Johnson. The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives, Penguin Books, 2019.Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged. 1957.Jean Liedloff. The Continuum Concept, Da Capo Press, 1975.

In Episode 55, Aaron Blue, CEO of The Charis Project in Thailand, talks with Phil about how he ended up working with people on the Thailand/Burma border, how soccer is an integral part of his ministry, why soccer is such a powerful cross-cultural tool, and how his soccer coaches in his early years impacted him for reasons you wouldn't expect. Specifically, Aaron discusses: His story, how he developed his passion for leadership and ministry (1:53) How The Charis Project is using soccer to transform lives of the youth and others on the Thailand/Burma border (9:42) Why soccer is such a powerful tool for cross-cultural leadership development and ministry (27:06) The raw and vulnerable lesson he learned from his coaches in his early playing days, which have inspired him four decades later (32:45) His #1 Leadership book recommendation of all time (46:41) Resources and Links from this Episode The Charis Project website Uncut Video of the Episode HSEL Facebook Group A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, by Edwin Friedman  

If servant leadership is about serving those you lead, then how does a self-differentiated leader do this? Part 2 goes through the second five characteristics of a servant-leader to show you how. Show Notes: Ten Characteristics of a Servant-Leader by Larry Spears A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman Putting God First Means Family Comes Before Work by Jack Shitama Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jack-shitama/message

Societal regression occurs when anxiety increases due to the inability to handle change. This episode looks at the characteristics in light of recent events. Show Notes: A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix Podcast Episode 28: How to Take a Leadership Stand on Controversial Issues (including a Family Systems take on Donald Trump's Leadership Style) Podcast Episode 44: Four Rules for Political Discourse (and another look at Donald Trump's leadership style) Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jack-shitama/message

Welcome back to our preaching series! Today I share a few resources. See below. And I talk about my own quick start sermon prep that I use. Let me know what tips and tricks have helped you along the way. Communicating for a Change - Andy Stanley  10% Happier - Dan Harris Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix - Edwin Friedman  Connect with me here: www.joanncbastien.com  Podcast is now on Apple, Google, Spotify, and Stitcher       

Kathrin gets to sit down with Pastor Skip and talk about the power of listening during a time of upheaval. Pastor Skip talks about the value of listening as we engage difficult conversations about the history of racial inequity and prejudice, and how, through listening, we can discover the value of our second response. Pastor Skip Irby has been a volunteer facilitator at Ministering to Ministers Wellness Retreats for eight years and has chaired the Board of Ministering to Ministers since 2019. Drawing on his 35 years’ study of family systems, life in ministry, and willingness to look in the rear-view mirror, Skip invites us to reflect on what matters to each of us, embracing our strengths, and discovering resilience in the face of adversity. LINKS & RESOURCES: BOOKS:White Fragility, by Robin DiAngeloYou can find ways to purchase this book, as well as obtain a FREE Reader’s Guide on Robin DiAngelo’s Official Website: https://robindiangelo.com/How to be an Antiracist, by Ibram X. KendiOfficial Website: https://www.ibramxkendi.com/how-to-be-an-antiracist-1Ibram X. Kendi Antiracism Center: https://www.ibramxkendi.com/antiracism-center-2Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, by Edwin Friedman Find it HERE WATCH:Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man with Emmanuel Acho:Website: https://uncomfortableconvos.com/Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/h8jUA7JBkF4OTHER RESOURCES:Washington Post’s The Lily, The New Normal: Antiracism: You May Be Doing It Wrong. Here’s Why. andMinistering to Ministers Resources (Library) as well asMinistering to Ministers Wellness RetreatsMusic for this episode has been legally purchased from AudioJungle. License available upon request

Kathrin sits down with Skip to explore the landscape of change and talk about how, sometimes looking in the rearview mirror can help us each discern the central cores of what we believe, what keeps us strong, and how we can grow deeper in love and relationship through our lives.Pastor Skip Irby has been a volunteer facilitator at Ministering to Ministers Wellness Retreats for eight years and has chaired the Board of Ministering to Ministers since 2019. Drawing on his 35 years’ study of family systems, life in ministry, and willingness to look in the rearview mirror, Skip invites us to reflect on what matters to each of us, embracing our strengths, and discovering resilience in the face of adversity. Links:Ministering to Ministers Resources (Library)Ministering to Ministers Wellness RetreatsEdwin Friedman books:Generation to GenerationandFailure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix and The Edwin Friedman Model of Family Systems Thinking, Academic Leadership, The Online Journal and TEDx How The Story Transforms the Storyteller, by Donald Davis Music for this episode has been legally purchased from AudioJungle. License available upon request

Harnessing your inner pioneer is a call to lead even when it is hard. In this podcast Krista will look at the research done by Rabbi Edwin Friedman in his book “A Failure of Nerve – Leadership in the era of the Quick Fix”.

When something is beyond our control, our initial reaction to this is one filled with fear. Yet, during these times, our dependence on Jesus is what helps us through. What would it look like to start “scaring” ourselves in a good way, so that we can grow closer to Jesus? Join Rick as we continue a series devoted to practices that naturally draw us into a closer “orbit” around Jesus. Diving into the Gospels, we’ll look at examples of how Jesus guides others when they’re experiencing fear. Have you joined the Pigs? We’re a group of friends ready to go all-in with Jesus—to live a life that’s “free indeed” because we’re wholly dependent on him. Join us for exclusive behind-the-scenes insights, opportunities to make your voice matter, prayer support, and connections to other Pigs inside our private Facebook group. Join Here: www.mylifetree.com/pratj-member-sign-up/ Related Resources: The Jesus-Centered Planner 2020 https://www.mylifetree.com/shop/jesus-centered-planner-2020/ The Jesus-Centered Bible www.mylifetree.com/jesus-centered-bible-shop-page/ The Jesus-Centered Life: The Life You Didn’t Think Was Possible, With the Jesus You Never Knew by Rick Lawrence www.mylifetree.com/shop/the-jesus-centered-life/ The Jesus-Centered Journal  https://www.mylifetree.com/?s=jesus-centered+journal&post_type=product&tags=1&limit=20&ixwps=1 Center Your Life on Jesus https://www.mylifetree.com/shop/jesus-centered-devotions-center-life-jesus/ Drawn In: A Perfectly Messy Way to Experience Jesus https://www.mylifetree.com/shop/drawn-in/ The God Who Fights for You: How He Shows Up in Your Suffering by Rick Lawrence www.amazon.com/God-Who-Fights-You-Suffering/dp/073697704X Spiritual Grit: A Journey Into Endurance. Character. Confidence. Hope.       www.mylifetree.com/shop/spiritual-grit/ Growing Spiritual Grit for Teenagers: 40 Devotions   https://www.mylifetree.com/shop/growing-spiritual-grit-for-teenagers-40-devotions/ Growing Spiritual Grit: 52 Personal Devotions    https://www.mylifetree.com/shop/growing-spiritual-grit-52-personal-devotions/ A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin H. Friedman https://www.amazon.com/Failure-Nerve-Leadership-Age-Quick/dp/159627042X Photo by Jakub Kriz on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/3FFEdm8TOek

Most have heard that you should love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, but what does “all your strength” really entail? When our strength inevitably fails, what does it look like to rely on Jesus and stand our ground? Join Rick for a series exploring the human side of Jesus and the practical ways we can incorporate this into our lives. By looking at examples in the Bible, we’ll explore how Jesus modeled strength to us. Have you joined the Pigs? We’re a group of friends ready to go all-in with Jesus—to live a life that’s “free indeed” because we’re wholly dependent on him. Join us for exclusive behind-the-scenes insights, opportunities to make your voice matter, prayer support, and connections to other Pigs inside our private Facebook group. Join Here: www.mylifetree.com/pratj-member-sign-up/ Related Resources: Spiritual Grit: A Journey Into Endurance. Character. Confidence. Hope.  www.mylifetree.com/shop/spiritual-grit/ Growing Spiritual Grit: 52 Personal Devotions  https://www.mylifetree.com/shop/growing-spiritual-grit-52-personal-devotions/ Growing Spiritual Grit for Teenagers: 40 Devotions  https://www.mylifetree.com/shop/growing-spiritual-grit-for-teenagers-40-devotions/ The Jesus-Centered Bible: www.mylifetree.com/jesus-centered-bible-shop-page/ The Jesus-Centered Journal: https://www.mylifetree.com/?s=jesus-centered+journal&post_type=product&tags=1&limit=20&ixwps=1 The Jesus-Centered Life: The Life You Didn’t Think Was Possible, With the Jesus You Never Knew by Rick Lawrence www.mylifetree.com/shop/the-jesus-centered-life/ The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma-ebook/dp/B00G3L1C2K A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, Revised Edition by Edwin H. Friedman https://www.amazon.com/Failure-Nerve-Leadership-Quick-Revised-ebook/dp/B071R6P7MJ/ref=sr_1_3?crid=1820U1M8F32FP&keywords=failure+of+nerve&qid=1557779173&s=digital-text&sprefix=failure+o%2Cdigital-text%2C202&sr=1-3 Photo by Caleb Ekeroth on Unsplash

Friedman, Edwin H. A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix. New York: Seabury Books, 2007. The more my perspective broadened,…

Friedman, Edwin H. A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix. New York: Seabury Books, 2007. The more my perspective broadened, the more confirmed I became in my view that contemporary leadership dilemmas have less to do with the specificity of given problems, the nature of a particular technique, or the makeup of a given group than with the way everyone is framing the issues. In any type of institution whatsoever, when a self-directed, imaginative, energetic, or creative member is being consistently frustrated and sabotaged rather than encouraged and supported, what will turn out to be true one hundred percent of the time, regardless of whether the disrupters are supervisors, subordinates, or peers, is that the person at the very top of that institution is a peace-monger. By that I mean a highly anxious risk-avoider, someone who is more concerned with good feelings than with progress, someone whose life revolves around the axis of consensus, a "middler," someone who is so incapable of taking well-defined stands that his "disability" seems to be genetic, someone who functions as if she had been filleted of her backbone, someone who treats conflict or anxiety like ## mustard gas--one whiff, on goes the emotional gas mask, and he flits. Such leaders are often "nice," if not charming. What counts is the leader's presence and being, not technique and know-how. … A leader must separate his or her own emotional being from that of his or her followers while still remaining connected. Vision is basically an emotional rather than a cerebral phenomenon, depending more on a leader's capacity to deal with anxiety than his or her professional training or degree. For the endeavor to gain more regulation over one's own reactive mechanisms requires commitment to the lifetime project of being willing to be continually transformed by one's experience. Frankly, it is easier to focus on data and technique. Yet, at this point, I am convinced that to the extent leaders of any family or institution are willing to make a lifetime commitment to their own continual self-regulated growth, they can make any leadership theory or technique look brilliant. To be a leader, one must both have and embody a vision of where one wants to go. It is not a matter of knowing or believing one is right; it is a matter of taking the first step. One of the major limitations of imagination's fruits is the fear of standing out. It is more than a fear of criticism. It is anxiety at being alone, of being in a position where one can rely little on others, a position that puts one's own resources to the test, a position where one will have to take total responsibility for one's own response to the environment. Leaders must not only not be afraid of that position; they must come to love it. The conventions through which we try to understand human relationships today may be as misoriented as was the medieval view of heaven and earth. Thus to suggest that gender, ethnicity, and psychological profiles are not the stuff of human relationships, or that the concentrated focus on data, method, feelings, and togetherness is misguided, can sound as counterintuitive today as it would have been in Columbus's time to say that the Earth revolves around the Sun. On the other hand, from the perspective of the emotional process view of reality that I shall develop here, the way most leadership programs understand the human phenomenon is tantamount to still assuming that the world is flat. A leader's major effect on his or her followers has to do with the way his or her presence affects the emotional processes in the relationship system. A leader's major job is to understand his or her self. Communication depends on emotional variables such as direction, distance, and anxiety. Stress is due to becoming responsible for the relationships of others. Hierarchy is a natural systems phenomenon rooted in the nature of protoplasm.

Our Show [00:15] Introduction - ZAMRs (and our other miscellaneous content) are located on our YouTube Channel [02:41] Fable - Kevin Love, The Cavs, and Anxiety. [10:20] Are things getting worse? We take a look through our lense of Systems Theory. [37:55] Conclusion and shoutouts. Resources and quotes from this episode A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix Paperback by Edwin H. Friedman The ultimate irony of societal regression, however, is that eventually it co-opts the very institutions that train and support the leaders who could pull a society out of its devolution. It does this by concentrating their focus on data and technique rather than on emotional process and the leader's own self. These always goes hand-in-hand. Roberta Gilbert, MD Contact us (and special thanks) Find us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/theofpodcast Email us at the theOFPodcast@gmail.com Special thanks to Jesse Hufstetler for our theme song. You can find him at Jetler and Fortune Of Souls

As we approach our 150th episode, we're revisiting some topics we did early on at the beginning of the podcast. This episode is about the human tendency to go into fight or flight mode in response to anxiety provoking realities. We quote from the book "Failure of Nerve" by Edwin Friedman a few times. Below are the excerpts cited: the possible exception of the first half of the twentieth century, since. While there have been other half-centuries of extraordinary progress, few have involved such fundamental change of direction all across the board. A person born in 1492 could have witnessed in their lifetime: an extraordinary flowering of artistic imagination concerning form and perspective in painting, sculpture, literature, architecture; the Reformation led by Luther and Calvin, ramifying out into almost every subculture and presaging the way religious differences would be formulated for centuries thereafter; the invention of the watch, enabling an unheralded fine-tuning in the measurement and coordination of daily time periods; observations of space and experimentation with lenses that would lead to the creation of the telescope; and the dissemination of the first newspaper, initiating the effects of widespread information-sharing within a community. Underlying all of this artistic, philosophical, and scientific upheaval was an even more basic, all-embracing change: the two worldviews by which European civilization had oriented itself for almost fifteen hundred years (based largely on the scholarship of the second-century Greek thinker and mapmaker, Ptolemy) were turned on their heads. One misperception was the view that the land mass on our planet was situated entirely above the equator, extending contiguously from western Europe to eastern Asia, with the Indian Ocean a land-locked lake. The other was the notion that our planet’s relationship to the rest of the planets and other heavenly bodies was “geocentric”— that is, the other planets and stars revolved around the Earth, which according to this orientation was situated at the center of the universe. Friedman, Edwin H.. A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix (Kindle Locations 596-613). Church Publishing Inc.. Kindle Edition. Anyone who has ever been part of an imaginatively gridlocked relationship system knows that more learning will not, on its own, automatically change the way people see things or think. There must first be a shift in the emotional processes of that institution. Imagination and indeed even curiosity are at root emotional, not cognitive, phenomena. In order to imagine the unimaginable, people must be able to separate themselves from surrounding emotional processes before they can even begin to see (or hear) things differently. Without this understanding, it becomes impossible to realize how our learning can prevent us from learning more. After all, when Galileo, a century later, tried to reorient the cosmic perspective of his world, he offered in rebuttal to those who were unwilling to learn what he had learned a look for themselves through his telescope. And there were people who not only disagreed with his views but, when offered the opportunity, even refused to peek. Friedman, Edwin H.. A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix (Kindle Locations 617-624). Church Publishing Inc.. Kindle Edition.

"The function of a leader within any institution: to provide that regulation within his or her non-anxious, self-defined presence." - Edwin Friedman Edwin Friedman, in his book "A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the age of the quick fix," lists 5 words that will sabotage your healthy organization: sensitivity, empathy, consensus, trust and togetherness. Find out how these concepts are being used to sabotage your organization.

Quote: “People have a greater tolerance for evil than for violence. If crooked gambling, thieving and robbing are covered over folks will tolerate it longer than out right violence, even when the violence may be cleansing.” Louis L’Amour, The Daybreakers Summary: Do you want to lead? I hope so. If that’s the case, put being “good” before being popular...and even before winning. Because those external things will damage your character. Luckily, there are ways to fight back. Here’s one attitude change that will help you fight other people’s expectations. Notes: Quote from The Daybreakers, by Louis L’Amour, found here: http://amzn.to/2mW4CdQ Inspired by A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, by Edwin H. Friedman, found here: http://amzn.to/2np4pgP Quote from The Man Called Noon, by Louis L’Amour, found here: http://amzn.to/2molhUb

This last week I have spent some time talking to you about the Pain Cycle and Peace Cycle in Terry Hargrave's Restoration Therapy model. I love the Pain and Peace Cycle because it has transformed my life. It's transformed me as an individual, as well as my marriage, my relationships, vocation and more. But how do you practice the Pain and Peace Cycle in your own life? To do so I recommended 4 steps to practice. As you begin to use these steps and work through the cycles you create a safe emotional connection which also fosters a real strong sense of "usness" in the relationship. And it is out of this place that couple's can really solve problems. Without a safe connection, problem solving is difficult, if not impossible in a relationship.   In today's episode I want to tie all four episodes together by talking about the concept of differentiation, and giving some examples from different perspectives of what it looks like. In this episode I share the concept of differentiation from some literary writings of Rainer Maria Rilke and Kahlil Gibran. I also look at how renowned sex and marriage therapist David Schnarch defines it. As well as looking at the concept from well known therapist and Rabbi Edwin Friedman.   In this episode I explore: the concept of differentiation Bohemian-Austrian Rainer Maria Rilke's thoughts on differentiation in relationships/marriage Lebanese poet Kahlil Gibran's thoughts on differentiation in marriage Sex and marriage therapist David Schnarch's thoughts on differentiation in committed relationships boundaries and differentiation in the work of Henry Cloud and John Townsend's book Boundaries Paul's words in Galatians 6:2-5 Therapist and Rabbi Edwin Friedman's thoughts on differentiation and leadership.   Resources Mentioned in this PodcastRestoration Therapy Terry Hargrave Marriage Strong Sharon Hargrave Rainer Maria Rilke Kahlil Gibran David Schnarch Henry Cloud John Townsend Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No to Take Control of Your Life Edwin Friedman Galatians 6:2-5 A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships by David Schnarch