Tips, Ideas, and Explanations for how to survive toxic people from a philosopher's perspective.
As we roll into 2024 you might have noticed that your healing journey didn't look exactly the way you had hoped in 2023. You might be having some feelings about what that means for you going into the new year. With the help of philosopher J. Aaron Simmons and his new book Camping with Kierkegarrd, I explore what it means to confront the reality of where we are on our journey.
Blackburn suggests you need good mental health in order to do philosophy. I say he's got it all wrong. In this episode, I share how philosophy can directly improve your mental health and some of the best ways to accomplish that! Subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskPhilosophyFAQ/comments/4ifqi3/im_interested_in_philosophy_where_should_i_start/ Books: Think by Simon Blackburn Sophie's World A Very Short Introduction Series Plato's Dialogues Podcasts: A History of Philosophy Without Any Gaps Philosophy Bites Youtube Philosophy: https://www.youtube.com/user/IOFrimpong https://www.youtube.com/user/gbisadler My Email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com
Some topics demand nuance and not everyone is going to have the capcity to hold onto that nuance. That doesn't mean that we shouldn't express what needs to be said. I explore the value of expressing nuance in light of the Israel-Hamas war and as someone who regularly speaks about child abuse. Here is the Charlotte Clymer piece Here is a link to the Instagram post I mention in this episode Email me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com
I explore the wisdom existential philosopher and holocaust survivor Victor Frankl has to offer in these turbulent times. I share how his wisdom is helping me navigate the current increase of antisemitism and how it can help everyone working hard to break cycles. UPDATE: Since the recording of this episode, I have learned that the specific incident that directly inspired it was inaccurately reported on. You can read the details of what happened here https://www.uclahillel.org/stateofjewishbruinlifeoct2023 There have been other incidents recently at instutions of higher education including Columbia University and Cooper Union. Learn about those specifics here: https://www.nydailynews.com/2023/10/30/jewish-students-at-columbia-other-ny-colleges-facing-anti-semitism-say-they-feel-unsafe-abandoned/ To learn more about the increasing rate of antisemitism around the world you can see the Anti Defamation League's recent report here: https://www.adl.org/resources/blog/global-antisemitic-incidents-wake-hamas-war-israel Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com
While I am no expert on world politics, I am a Jew thanks to my abusive mother. As a result, I am involved in the Israel and Palestine conflict. I talk about the cycles I see taking place in this conflict and reflect on how these events really reveal just how needed and critical your cycle breaking work really is.
I don't have a cure all for the strugglebus, but I do have a few ideas about what might help you. Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Check out the sermon I refer to here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FP_sid9UUNg Message me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Email me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com
This is an often misunderstood tool that has made a HUGE difference in my own life and navigating toxic people.
This habit of labeling sometimes totally normal parts of the human experience as "ill" or "sick" or "broken" has become popular thanks to the busted Healthcare system in the United States. And while it is good and appropriate to call out illness when it is genuinely present, we've all probably gone a bit too far with it. I break down exactly what is up with this tendency to pathologize and why I think we need to let it go. Message me about working together on Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Send me an email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com
Want to avoid spiraling into a deep pit of emotions everytime you start to think critically? In this episode I share how pairing Radical Permission with your critical thinking time can help you focus your energy on the important decision making work you've got to do on your cycle breaking journey! Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Join my email list: https://www.empowermentthroughthought.com/ig-link-in-bio
Its more important than you might guess. I cover the role of intution as well as some tips on how to strengthen and heal your relationship with your intution. Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com
In this epiesode I reveal one of my favorite strategies for learning to integrate your thining brain while listening to the wisdom of your emotions. Email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
I breakdown specifically what benefits Sabbath had for me as a survivor of long term abuse, and what other survivors might want to think about on their own healing journey.
Life doesn't stop for Sabbath, but I am doing my best to honor my intention to take this time for rest!
Your best chance of hearing about what's happening is to join my email list. You can do that by filling out your name and email at the bottom of this link https://www.empowermentthroughthought.com/ig-link-in-bio
After recapping my father's passing, I explore how my life has changed one year later. Toward the end I share one of the most surprising outcomes of these past 12 months. Instagram: www.empowermentthroughthought.com/empowermentthroughthought Email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com
Working on subtle levels of healing and befriending my triggers, I have noticed how some of the reasoning my abusive father used were shared beliefs with folks of his same generation. In this episode, I explore some of these shared beliefs and how my generation (Millennials) might be critical of the reasoning behind these ideas, while at the same time we may be repeating the very same reasoning pattern. This is an invitation to reflect on our survivor tendency to stare at the darkness, and redefine our relationship with rainbows.
I say I value safety but do I act that way? Here is a walk through my brain and how I'm unleashing the power of philosophy to help guide me through this chaos. Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com
Inspired by the introduction to Skye Cleary's How To Be Authentic, I explore the tension self-help has with core features of our identity as cycle breakers, and some of the reasons philosophy might be a better choice for us. Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought.com Email Me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com Transcript: https://www.empowermentthroughthought.com/blog/thepowerofphilosophyforcyclebreakers
When you grow up in chaos, you often crave chaos later in life. In this episode, I talk about how to manage that craving for familiarity without engaging in the more self-destructive side of this tendency. Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Website: www.empowermentthroughthought.com Email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com
I have been struggling to articulate exactly why philosophy is so freaking powerful to folks who are going against the status quo. On the heels of running the world's first ever Practical Philosophy course, I finally figured it out. In this episode I break it all down. Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/dr-louise-williams
Come with me as I wrestle with the realization that creating raw vulnerable healing content on social media can be both healing and harmful. I have no clear answers in this episode, just a real exploration of the reality of being a survivor content creator online.
In this episode I explore the ancient wisdom of "Know Thyself." I discuss exactly what this phrase means, and why this is a critical step in making difficult decisions. I then show how difficult decisions in my own life have been much easier to make because I did the work to know myself.
I am spilling the tea on my colleagues! In this episode I explain why you tend to see a lot more psychology in cycle breaker spaces than you see philosophy, and what I am doing about the situation. Check out my new work with me page: https://www.empowermentthroughthought.com/work-with-me Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/dr-louise-williams Facebook: www.facebook.com/dr.louisewilliams
Its taken me a long time to try to tackle this question head on here on the podcast since there really are so many different ways people define philosophy. However, I am finally laying out exactly how I think about this in my own work. I break down the two main ways to understand exactly what philosophy is and where I think the real magic of philosophy lies for cycle breakers.
After some hard thinking about what the real secret sauce is to philosophy, some changes are coming to Empowerment Through Thought. Inspired by the struggles with flying monkeys, I'll continue to serve my fellow survivors and call in all those seeking to go against the norms. Website: www.empowermentthroughthought.com Contact me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
There is trend in the healing space to reject psychology's talk therapy and embrace that healing must come at the level of the subconscious. In this episode, I explore how we can acknowledge the limitations of psychology's talk therapy without necessarily moving to the much more vulnerable space of the subconscious. I share how philosophy can is another way to engage in conscious dialogue that can produce extensive healing. And I share why I think philosophy has some intense benefits over psychology's approach to talk therapy. Get the details on the Grey Rock Masterclass here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MzDm6GHRwBcurFFdejcFK45-xMLkjzKKVveHk7e6LJQ/edit?usp=sharing Email me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Suffering follows us wherever we are on the survivor journey. We might as well learn how to live well within its presence. In this episode, I share some of Marcus Auerilius' thoughts on how to deal with inevitable suffering. Learn more about the Grey Rock Masterclass here Catch me on IG: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Email me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com
You may have heard of grey rock, but I bet you haven't heard of Stoic Philosophy or Marcus Auerilius. In this episode, I explain why understanding the philosophic foundation of this popular technique for navigating toxic people can help you immensely. I share how it helped me on my journey and why it can help you deal with both guilt and anger. Learn more about the Grey Rock Masterclass here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MzDm6GHRwBcurFFdejcFK45-xMLkjzKKVveHk7e6LJQ/edit?usp=sharing Email me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
I pull insights on the value of listening to yourself as I reflect on what the holidays are looking like for me. Its a weird season and here are some good reasons to think that is totally okay. Email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Started playing with my current angst in the form of a fiction piece and I have discovered that it is wildly difficult to live in the peace that so many of us strive for on the journey. The post on IG that I refer to is here: https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cl9z_a3jGnr/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
We often strive to be the version of ourselves that are no longer burdened by the challenges of long-term abuse, but this idealization of our fully healed selves may be causing more harm than good. I explain why I think that there is no such thing as being fully healed and what survivors can focus on instead. Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com
Survivors often assume that they are busted and in need of immediate healing. In this episode I invite you to challenge that assumption and get really curious about when it is appropriate to seek real deep growth on your healing journey and when it is best to switch into a maintenance phase. I discuss how this perspective shift can especially serve us as we are making our choices about navigating this holiday season.
Have you ever thought about how much power the algorithm has when it comes to your healing work? The more we rely on social media to help us on our healing journey, the more susceptible we are to the preferences of this robot. In this episode I explore the potential shortcomings of social media as a tool for healing from abuse and what you can do about it. Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Email Me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com
Learning to allow emotions that once brought us a lot of heartache back into our lives in the wake of healing from toxic people can be a CHALLENGE. In this episode I reflect on my own recent experience crying in a public space and what us survivors can do who want to learn to heal our relationship to these formerly dangerous feelings. Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought.com Email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com
This episode is all about the identity crisis that comes up for us survivors of narcissistic abuse. Often we cling to old parts of ourselves since that served us well in navigating abusive environments, but as we make progress on the healing journey, we can struggle to make sense of these older parts of ourselves and the new folks that we are becoming. As a fellow survivor currently going through some big identity shifts, I am sharing some of what I plan to do to help myself make peace with these ghosts from my past. You can follow my journey through this space over on my Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
In this episode, I talk about the final communication my toxic father ever sent me. I discuss a particular "witnessing" technique that I have been using to help ease the absolute horror and dismay his final cruel words have created in me. I do not share any direct quotes from the letter, but I do discuss death and many of the harsh realities sacrifices we make to toxic parents. Email me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought.com
Ready for some fun healing! In this episode, I invite you to consider the stuff that toxic people forbid you from doing. I also share how this has been quite liberating on my own journey, including some spicy talk on the paranormal. When you are ready for some one-on-one support, reach out Email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
In this very raw episode, I share with you my recent experience of losing a friendship and how this too is part of the healing journey as survivors of narcissistic abuse. Email: Dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Sometimes feeling ok isn't enough. At some point on your healing journey, you are likely to want to actually feel GOOD. But how the heck do we accomplish that after navigating so much darkness? I share my recently developed ideas on how exactly to do that. Learn about working one-on-one with me here: https://www.empowermentthroughthought.com/work-with-me Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com
Much to my surprise, the memorial service of my toxic father was overall a good experience. In this episode I recap how the event went and unpack some of the reasons I think it was an overall good experience. If you would like to join me for the 5 day guilt-free boundaries challenge you can do so here: https://www.empowermentthroughthought.com/guilt-free-challenge
In this episode I walk you through my reasoning process to attend the memorial service for my recently deceased toxic father. Consider this a sort of case study of one survivor's journey through this part of the experience of being the adult child of a toxic person.
My first thoughts on some big takeaways from the recent passing of my father. It turns out the way people said this experience would go were wrong...
Loneliness and isolation is one of the hardest things to deal with on our survivor journey. The bigger our boundaries get the more distant we can feel from the folks around us. In this episode, I talk about how I am working to ensure that us survivors never have to feel lonely again! Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Email me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought
Toxic people taught us directly that we are not worthy of goodness and beauty in our lives. Unfortunately, survivors have likely interanlized these messages and are likely to have self-worth issues popping up in unexpected places. Listen to this episode to hear what I'm talking about and what you can do about it! Join the waitlist for my new survivor experience: https://www.empowermentthroughthought.com/brand-new-survivor-experience Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
Hot of the heels of shutting down this house, I am bringing you a recap and the biggest lessons I learned along the way. If you have worried about what it will be like shutting down the house of a toxic person, this episode is for you. Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
This episode original published in September 2021 covers such an important topic that I really wanted to bring it back to y'all. It is was a very difficult episode for me to originally come up with, and it hits on topics that are so so important in the abuse recovery journey. Hope you enjoy! Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
In this episode I share a piece I wrote on explaining what exactly philosophical counseling is. I explore how it differs from mental health services and how it compares to life-coaching. You can read the original piece here https://theprofessorisin.com/2022/03/31/what-the-heck-is-philosophical-counseling/?fbclid=IwAR3rbDoHHfHPAKSnly6U0ZMwlMVv4KXWBTxp5OFsea0WtjrybKqcF4dFbc4 Find me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Email me: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com
After a recent explosion on Instagram, it was clearly time to do a deep dive on the controversial topic of forgiveness. Many folks in the survivor community seem to think that you must forgive toxic people in order to heal. In this episode, I bring in the work of Aristotle, Kant, Hume, and a contemporary philosopher named John Kekes to show why forgiveness really is optional. Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought Resources I used in this show: Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy Entry: https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/forgiveness/ Kekes, John. “Blame versus Forgiveness.” The Monist 92, no. 4 (2009): 488–506. http://www.jstor.org/stable/27904141.
While the standard advice for dealing with toxic people is to go no-contact, what enables a person to be able to do that often depends on a bunch of things that are outside their control. In this episode I explore how privilege plays into the decision to go no-contact, and why those folks who are not able to do so can still make a lot of progress on their journey. If you are ready for some support navigating toxic people in your life, reach out to me Email: dr.louise@empowermentthroughthought.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought
This episode I turn to the wisdom of Aristotle to help us unpack why anger is totally good and appropriate for us survivors of toxic family. I break down Aristotle's views on when anger is good into three main criteria and show how almost everyone who has experienced long term abuse at the hands of toxic family will benefit from being angry. Let me know what you think of this episode: www.instagram.com/empowermentthroughthought dr.louise@empowermentthorughthought.com
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