Podcasts about anger part

The Root of Anger Part 2 _ Dr. David O. Ogaga

The Root of Anger Part 1 

The post Equipping Hour: Anger part 2 appeared first on Grace Bible Church.

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Find out how we can determine if our anger is righteous or sinful and how to deal with it.

Find out how we can determine if our anger is righteous or sinful and how to deal with it.

Find out how we can determine if our anger is righteous or sinful and how to deal with it.

Dr. Stanley explains how we can determine if our anger is righteous or sinful and how to deal with it.

Dr. Stanley explains how we can determine if our anger is righteous or sinful and how to deal with it.

Dr. Stanley explains how we can determine if our anger is righteous or sinful and how to deal with it.

When you become angry, it's important to not only control your anger, but you should also process your anger. Controlling your anger without processing it will drive it deep inside, and might come out in negative behavior.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Anger is an emotion that every human being experiences. Though anger is often wrong, it can also be appropriate because we all have a sense of right and wrong. It's important to learn learn practical ways to manage anger in a creative and responsible manner.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How anger can limit you from expounding the kingdom of God because of unforgiveness.  

When the Bible says the fruit of the Spirit is patience, it's saying a Christian is somebody who at last knows how to deal with anger. You know, anger is a scary thing. Almost all murders and wars start with anger. It's a tremendously dangerous emotion. And this ability to deal with anger, to really release and remove it, to pray for enemies, to forgive people, to pray for oppressors, to repay evil with good is an essential sign of Christianity. Ephesians 4 shows us three things about anger: 1) anger in itself is not a sin, 2) anger usually is a sin, and 3) your motives are always impure. This sermon was preached by Dr. Timothy Keller at Redeemer Presbyterian Church on March 4, 1990. Series: Fruit of the Spirit. Scripture: 1 John 3:11-20, Ephesians 4:26-32. Today's podcast is brought to you by Gospel in Life, the site for all sermons, books, study guides and resources from Timothy Keller and Redeemer Presbyterian Church. If you've enjoyed listening to this podcast and would like to support the ongoing efforts of this ministry, you can do so by visiting https://gospelinlife.com/give and making a one-time or recurring donation.

Cami Bunting continues the series on improving our relationships with the topic of being Slow to Anger".Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): http://uppbeat.io/t/zoo/clarity License code: UL9CSCKZ4YPM52DF

Cami Bunting continues the series on improving our relationships with the topic of being Slow to Anger".Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): http://uppbeat.io/t/zoo/clarity License code: UL9CSCKZ4YPM52DF

Remembering an insult can cause us to flare up at any relational irritation. Nehemiah faced constant provocation in his work to rebuild Jerusalem's wall. In this message, Pastor Lutzer considers three steps in Nehemiah's stance toward injustice which can free us from anger. It's time to let go of our bitterness. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/172/29

Remembering an insult can cause us to flare up at any relational irritation. Nehemiah faced constant provocation in his work to rebuild Jerusalem's wall. In this message, Pastor Lutzer considers three steps in Nehemiah's stance toward injustice which can free us from anger. It's time to let go of our bitterness. This month's special offer is available for a donation of any amount. Get yours at rtwoffer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337. 

Remembering an insult can cause us to flare up at any relational irritation. Nehemiah faced constant provocation in his work to rebuild Jerusalem's wall. In this message, Pastor Lutzer considers three steps in Nehemiah's stance toward injustice which can free us from anger. It's time to let go of our bitterness. This month's special offer is available for a donation of any amount. Get yours at offerrtw.com or call us at 1-800-215-5001. 

If we're destroying our relationships, spiritually stagnating, or allowing the enemy a foothold, anger is probably involved. Our anger can damage ourselves and others. In this message, Pastor Lutzer provides three reasons we need to be freed from anger. Why do we have this emotion of intense displeasure? To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/172/29

If we're destroying our relationships, spiritually stagnating, or allowing the enemy a foothold, anger is probably involved. Our anger can damage ourselves and others. In this message, Pastor Lutzer provides three reasons we need to be freed from anger. Why do we have this emotion of intense displeasure? This month's special offer is available for a donation of any amount. Get yours at rtwoffer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337. 

Most often we associate anger with other people we have a problem with. But it's also possible to be angry with God, even to the point of being passively aggressive toward Him. In this message, Pastor Lutzer observes seven characteristics of an angry person. In the power of the Holy Spirit, God can show us our sin and how to make restitution. This month's special offer is available for a donation of any amount. Get yours at offerrtw.com or call us at 1-800-215-5001. 

If we're destroying our relationships, spiritually stagnating, or allowing the enemy a foothold, anger is probably involved. Our anger can damage ourselves and others. In this message, Pastor Lutzer provides three reasons we need to be freed from anger. Why do we have this emotion of intense displeasure? This month's special offer is available for a donation of any amount. Get yours at offerrtw.com or call us at 1-800-215-5001. 

Mishlei 29:11 - How a Chacham Handles a Ksil's Anger (Part 2) כׇּל רוּחוֹ יוֹצִיא כְסִיל, וְחָכָם בְּאָחוֹר יְשַׁבְּחֶנָּה:Length: 50 minutesSynopsis: This morning (3/22/24), in our morning Mishlei shiur, we continued working on the pasuk we started on Wednesday. We spent most of the time developing other ideas in the pshat - which ended up being great! - and then we attempted to understand the midrashic application to Megilas Esther. We came up with an approach, but it still needs work. Something to think about for Purim!-----מקורות:משלי כט:יאמאירירלב"געץ יוסף - אסתר רבה ב:א-----The Torah content from now through Shushan Purim has been sponsored by Yael. Thank you, Yael, and thank you to all those who support my free shiurim, podcasts, videos, and articles through your sponsorships, Patreon memberships, and paid Substack subscriptions. May Hashem grant the entire Jewish people a happy Purim and a complete redemption from all our enemies!-----If you've gained from what you've learned here, please consider contributing to my Patreon at www.patreon.com/rabbischneeweiss. Alternatively, if you would like to make a direct contribution to the "Rabbi Schneeweiss Torah Content Fund," my Venmo is @Matt-Schneeweiss, and my Zelle and PayPal are mattschneeweiss at gmail. Even a small contribution goes a long way to covering the costs of my podcasts, and will provide me with the financial freedom to produce even more Torah content for you.If you would like to sponsor a day's or a week's worth of content, or if you are interested in enlisting my services as a teacher or tutor, you can reach me at rabbischneeweiss at gmail. Thank you to my listeners for listening, thank you to my readers for reading, and thank you to my supporters for supporting my efforts to make Torah ideas available and accessible to everyone.-----Substack: rabbischneeweiss.substack.com/Patreon: patreon.com/rabbischneeweissYouTube: youtube.com/rabbischneeweissInstagram: instagram.com/rabbischneeweiss/"The Stoic Jew" Podcast: thestoicjew.buzzsprout.com"Machshavah Lab" Podcast: machshavahlab.buzzsprout.com"The Mishlei Podcast": mishlei.buzzsprout.com"Rambam Bekius" Podcast: rambambekius.buzzsprout.com"The Tefilah Podcast": tefilah.buzzsprout.comOld Blog: kolhaseridim.blogspot.com/WhatsApp Content Hub (where I post all my content and announce my public classes): https://chat.whatsapp.com/GEB1EPIAarsELfHWuI2k0HAmazon Wishlist: amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/Y72CSP86S24W?ref_=wl_sharel

Mishlei 29:11 - How a Chacham Handles a Ksil's Anger (Part 1) כׇּל רוּחוֹ יוֹצִיא כְסִיל, וְחָכָם בְּאָחוֹר יְשַׁבְּחֶנָּה:Length: 46 minutesSynopsis: This morning (3/20/24), in our morning Mishlei shiur, we took a break from our chapter to learn a pasuk which is used as an introduction to Megilas Esther. The connection is less obvious than you might think. We came up with an approach (or two) on our own and gave LOTS of examples. Tomorrow we'll check out the meforshim and attempt to understand the midrash.-----מקורות:משלי כט:יאאסתר רבה ב:אמצודת ציון/דודתרגום רס"גתרגום כתוביםThe Tim Ferriss Show: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More (#721)-----The Torah content from now through Shushan Purim has been sponsored by Yael. Thank you, Yael, and thank you to all those who support my free shiurim, podcasts, videos, and articles through your sponsorships, Patreon memberships, and paid Substack subscriptions. May Hashem grant the entire Jewish people a happy Purim and a complete redemption from all our enemies!-----If you've gained from what you've learned here, please consider contributing to my Patreon at www.patreon.com/rabbischneeweiss. Alternatively, if you would like to make a direct contribution to the "Rabbi Schneeweiss Torah Content Fund," my Venmo is @Matt-Schneeweiss, and my Zelle and PayPal are mattschneeweiss at gmail. Even a small contribution goes a long way to covering the costs of my podcasts, and will provide me with the financial freedom to produce even more Torah content for you.If you would like to sponsor a day's or a week's worth of content, or if you are interested in enlisting my services as a teacher or tutor, you can reach me at rabbischneeweiss at gmail. Thank you to my listeners for listening, thank you to my readers for reading, and thank you to my supporters for supporting my efforts to make Torah ideas available and accessible to everyone.-----Substack: rabbischneeweiss.substack.com/Patreon: patreon.com/rabbischneeweissYouTube: youtube.com/rabbischneeweissInstagram: instagram.com/rabbischneeweiss/"The Stoic Jew" Podcast: thestoicjew.buzzsprout.com"Machshavah Lab" Podcast: machshavahlab.buzzsprout.com"The Mishlei Podcast": mishlei.buzzsprout.com"Rambam Bekius" Podcast: rambambekius.buzzsprout.com"The Tefilah Podcast": tefilah.buzzsprout.comOld Blog: kolhaseridim.blogspot.com/WhatsApp Content Hub (where I post all my content and announce my public classes): https://chat.whatsapp.com/GEB1EPIAarsELfHWuI2k0HAmazon Wishlist: amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/Y72CSP86S24W?ref_=wl_sharel

We tend to avoid the negative emotions that reside deep within our souls. But the gospel frees us to acknowledge these emotions and explore the ways they color our lives and complicate our relationships. In this sermon series, we have studied how the Gospel of Jesus frees us from GUILT, FEAR, SHAME and ANGER. This final week's message, BAD ANGER, GOOD ANGER-PART 2, comes out of Mark 2:23-3:6. Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.rittmangrace.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Rittman Grace Brethren Church⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠rittmangrace⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RittmanGrace⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaXPiaa4z3iZMA4DkCihtHg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠rittmangbc⁠ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/rittman-grace/message

Dealing With Anger PART 2 Diving into the 'How To' So now we get to learn more about the intention of anger and how it really is an inappropriate emotion. We can see examples where others have used it to propel their lives, using the energy contained in the emotion and that's ok, I guess, if you don't hold onto it. Can you think of better emotions to use? I can and I'm also guessing if you were to remember times you achieved a goal and enjoyed the process anger was at the back of the queue  :O) If you haven't listened to part 1 it would help you get the best out of this part 2 and guide you to make changes - Anger doesn't only affect those with it but all those close to them and so will letting go of anger. Do it for yourself and others to get the benefit. win-win-win-win So come dive in with me and find ways to release anger and the end of those stories Please share this episode, it will make a difference https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/377-dealing-with-anger-part-2/ and I would love your feedback feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on > SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Listen to Personal Development Unplugged on RadioPublic Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay, And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism This is part two of the personal development unplugged podcast Heads up. This is part two. Part two? The second part. That's what a part two is, of dealing with anger. This is where we deal with the process of letting it go and changing, creating the life we want. So I. You haven't listened to part one. Please do, because it will make so much more sense, obviously. So have a listen to part one, and then if you want, then you can come straight into this. So that'll be fine. Absolutely. Superb. So here we go. I know it's important to you. Have a listen after this. Okay, my friend, welcome back. Hopefully, now you've listened to part one, getting ready to let go, make the changes you want. Create a rich life. Because you'll be amazed. You'll be amazed when things change. Your new normal will be so rich. And in fact, I believe over time, you'll forget the old life, uh, the old way, because it no longer served you. It will no longer serve you anyway. But it's all been done. We're going to create that new way of being so it's really exciting, isn't it? I think it's really exciting. And if you remember in the first part, told you a little bit about the, uh, positive intention behind anger, trying to protect you. It's a secondary emotion. It comes in after fight and flight, and fight and flight is what protects you. Anyway, it's hardwired, as we said in your neurology. So no worries. You're always going to be protected. And what we want now is to create a way that you use the learnings, the learnings from the past, so you can be safe and therefore you can access better, uh, more appropriate emotions, behaviors and beliefs. Because when you do that, you're going to be so protected, but feeling comfortable, feeling good. And that's where we're going to be going in a short while. You remember those stories I was telling you about the guy who came and saw me with all that anger? Remember that NLP guy came up on for his presentation? And Geoff Thompson? We're going to finish those shortly. But first of all, I want you to find a comfortable place. And this is not hypnosis, by the way. You might find you're going to go inside because you're going to use your memory and maybe a little bit of imagination. So if you can find a place where you're going to be undisturbed, you're going to want to be writing things down. And I know when people go, oh, bloody hell, do I have to? Yes, it's so important that you write this bugger down, because in order to get the real depth of this, when you write it down, you have to go inside and find the right words, find, uh, how to communicate your thoughts in your head to the paper. And that makes this process so much more deeper and more connection, uh, I believe a more deeper connection with your unconscious mind. So yes, you do have to write it down. And the other bonus of that is you can come back, come back at any time, and especially in the second part of this process, you can come back and add to it, add to the things that are going to make your life richer. And I think that's important because when we come back, and it's also a great reminder, or a re reminder, as my son hates me to say, a re reminder. It's a re reminder of your commitment, your commitment to change and what you're going to get and what you're aiming for. Because we have to have an intention, and our intention is what we anticipate to achieve. I believe, and I like even go to expect this is our expectation. So you have your intention, and you may be able to visualize it from the words. Well, you will. You'll be able to visualize it from the words that you write down. And you'll be able to see a new you, a new you that is doing all the things that you want it to want him to do, her, uh, to do whichever way around you are. But it is so important that you can come back to this and, uh, even look at it and go, do you know what? I'm going to make that even better because now I know the process. I can make it even better. I will make it even better. I'm going to start to think about consequences, opportunities, because that's where we're going to start going. I'm not going to give you all now because we're going to go through the process, but I just want you to find that place where you'll be generally undisturbed, so you don't need complete solitude, but it's somewhere where you can focus and think about or use your thinking. Go inside and just muse and then write on your paper. So go and find a comfortable place, that quiet place, and set your intention, your expectation of releasing this negative emotion of anger and finding wonderful ways to put in place of the old way. And you don't know what they are yet, but we're going to go there. Okay, so get ready, and then we'll jump into the second part of this.     Ask yourself what negative emotion is costing you today or in the past   There you go. Okay, let's get there. Now you see what happens. Say we were to look down upon it and what we're going to ask, we're going to ask ourselves some questions. But what I have to say to you is, if you're going to do this with me, if you're going to do this, you're going to need a pen and paper because we're going to have to write it down. As I said, we're going to look down on our life, as it were. Ask ourselves some questions, get some answers. But you have to do both. Don't just do it 50 50 because we're going to do some negatives and we want to do the positives. Don't want to leave anybody in anything. So remember, I'm a therapist, and your therapist, if you want to do this, it's not a big deal, but just do the. Just do it all. So I want you to write down, first of all, what you think that emotion is. Uh oh, maybe it's. And you can swear and do whatever you like. If it's anger, or whatever, you can write it down on the top of the page, right in the middle. If it's a mind map, if you're doing a mind map, just draw a line down the middle, because we're going to have the one side and then we're going to have difference on the other side and the first one. The question is, what's it costing you? So let's just refine that a little bit. What has it cost you? And, um, write that down. Be honest with yourself. What's it bloody cost you? It'll probably cost you relationships. It might have cost you jobs, it might have cost you maybe physical things. Maybe you've done damage. What has it cost you in the past? And write those down. And when you write those down, you're going to say, be honest. Just go through all those. Not all the times, but the one, the significant ones that come to mind. What has it cost you today? Let's be honest. Because if it's costing you things which are negative, then your unconscious mind is going to start to see, oh, it's not working, is it? Because everything, the effects of this are, uh, negative. And then I want you to think, well, okay, what's it costing me right now, today, holding on to this? And it could well be your health, could be finance, could be relationships, not just necessarily romantic relationships. It could be the family, friends, social work colleagues. Write it down. Write the answers down. All on the same side. Right or left, I don't care. And then what would be the consequences if you were to choose to continue to have this emotion and think about that? Just don't go mad. We got to be realistic. But what would the cost be? What would be the consequence if you continued to choose this anger or this negative emotion? We'll go with anger. And when you look at all of that, you might just want a summary. You can ask yourself, well, how is this working for me? And you know how the answer is. It nearly swore. It's not. It's not at all, is it? But I want you to be really honest with yourself, to know that your unconscious mind is doing something for a positive reason. But what are the effects now? Might have worked at the very first time, maybe the second time, but after that, it diminishes, and now it's causing you harm, it's causing you negative effects through negative behaviors, negative emotions. And then you've got the other side of the paper again. You got to write this down and make sure you do it.     What beliefs would you rather have about yourself? And they'd be positive   How would you rather be? Just think, how would you rather be. So what beliefs would you rather have about yourself? And they'd be positive. They're not, I'm not angry person, because that's a negative. I'm not angry. Now, how would you be? Maybe how I would rather be is a loving person, a kind person, maybe gentle. I don't know. That came to my mind. Just what belief would you have? And it's going to start off with I'm. Even if it's the subtle one, like, I'm okay, I've got this. I can deal with this easily, effortlessly. I'm the type of person that stands up for myself in the appropriate manner. So what beliefs would you have about yourself? Because these are identity beliefs of how you would rather be in place of the old way. So no negatives. So I would rather believe I'm not angry person. No, that we want these in the positive. How would you be if you had this right now, the way you want to be? What would you believe in yourself and write those buggers down. What emotions would you have instead in place of the old anger? So it might be calmness, might be an awareness, maybe reflection, maybe just feeling of comfortable. I love comfortable. Because when you're comfortable, you can access all different things. You can access different emotions. Thoughtful, empathetic. If you like empathy, you can have anything you want. There's one beginning with a common I can always forget the bloody thing, but that's the one I want. Now what behaviors would you have in place instead of the old one? Reflect on the behaviors that would come from those emotions. So if you're, I don't know, just say you were comfortable, well, maybe you would walk differently, you would breathe differently, wouldn't you? You'd probably see things more clearly. You'd be able to talk to yourself in a different way, wouldn't you? How would you like to talk to yourself in place of the old way? And as you think of that, you're seeing in some ways, and I know you've got to, got to see it. Even if you don't see it in perfect 2020 vision, somewhere in your mind's eye there's a vision of yourself. How, uh, you'd like to be believing about yourself in such a positive way, accessing really good positive emotions, having the behaviors, using the learnings you've learnt along with all the experiences. And when you're like that, how would affect you in the world? What would the effect be on you personally? I'm sure you'd be more healthier, I'm sure you'd have more opportunities. I'm sure your esteem would grow because you can be a warrior, huh? But you can also be a lover. You can be not a comedian, but have humor. You put those three together, that's a wonderful combination. So what would the effect of on you be when you're believing in yourself in that positive way, positive emotions and those behaviors, and how would that affect others, the people around you, your close friends, maybe closer than that. Uh, those one to one relationships. What about family? How would it affect your family? How would it affect you at your work, maybe in your social life, your health, life? M how would affect your prospects for living and life? And when you think about that, what would be the consequences of being like that? What are the opportunities that are going to come your way that in the past wouldn't at all, but now, when you're like this, what are those opportunities? What dreams could you have and believe they could become true? And when you imagine all of that as one, what would that feel like? And try to describe that feeling. You have to write this down. You have to. There's no, well, I can think about it. Cloughie. Uh, I can do this. No, you have to write all of these down because it's your reminder. You can go back to all of this. You can schedule some thinking time and expand upon it. You can do it daily, and then you can see the changes. You can make it richer. So you schedule in this and you imagine one of the things, how would I act? As if I was to act as if I have those beliefs, those emotions and behaviors, and the learnings and the experiences and those wonderful goals, how would I act? And if I was to act as if right now, what would that be like? And describe it. Yes, a lot of writing, but it's going to be so worthwhile. And it doesn't have to be pages and pages, but it's so worthwhile. So when you schedule just thinking, maybe just daily seeing that you, it's a bit like that ultimate vision of yourself, but just imagine yourself having let go and now acting as if see yourself over there being that person has all the beliefs, attributes, emotions, behaviors, the skills, and is continued learning and is starting to take those opportunities that come their way. And I'll tell you what happens when you do that. We were talking about, um, that NLP man within minutes on the stage, and it was literally probably about 1520 minutes. He had tears at the end of it, but there were tears of joy. Tears of joy, because he suddenly realized, I don't need that anymore. I've let it go. And he could see in his future, just, as I said, the consequences now of the change that he'd made. And we saw him during the training. From that moment on, he was a great participant practitioner up to then, but he just got so much more out of the training. And I know he went to see various, uh, people to explain just things, and he felt so much stronger for it.     What happened when Geoff Thompson channeled and learnt from his anger   So what happened to Geoff Thompson, this bruiser, this bouncer? I mean, he's like five black belts in five different bloody ways. He said he can kill you in five different ways and all that stuff. But what happened when he channeled and learnt from his anger, when he used that energy, first of all, to write, but write books that help people, help people create lives for themselves to be able to deal with the things that he dealt with. He also wrote, um, film place. Film place, scripts for films, whatever it is. And they were really emotional. This is this big bruiser now writing screenplays. And what happened? He won a bloody BAFTA. He's been writing plays. He's got books. He does talks, and he inspires people. I've talked about him before. He's such a lovely man. So he's let go of the anger, and he's learned from it. I believe he's learned. He says he's channeled it into doing all this stuff, but I just think his unconscious mind has learned from it. It's no longer protecting. How can we use that energy into different things? So it's just using the energy, not using the anger. That's my view. And, uh, what happened to my client? Well, he came back after the session, and I didn't know he was coming back. And, uh, my sons had taken. Had made the appointment for me. And when I saw it in the diary, I thought to myself, oh, bugger. Maybe it didn't work. That's the first thing. It's like that negative thing you think of. Oh, no. You always think the worst. Don't we? We do. Oh, no, it hasn't worked. But he came in and said, I'm going to pay for this session, but I don't want a session. I want to sit here and talk to you and explain to you what's happened. And he told me, he said, I've been to the doctor. I'll have been to the hospital. My body is now getting better. Everything is starting to get better and get, uh. Uh. All the dials are getting more positive. And all this stuff. I say dials because they don't look quite big. All his metabolism everything was changing for the positive back to normal health. He said, my son, we don't live together because we found out really he needs his time, his space, and so do I. But we meet and we meet often, and we have this wonderful connection now. He said, just as special, he said, you don't know where I've been last weekend, do you? I ain't got bloody clue. So I'll tell you where I've been, Paul. I've just come back from the christening of my granddaughter, and I stayed with my daughter and her husband and my granddaughter, and I was at the christening. And that's all down to letting go. These are the consequences to him of letting go of that anger and being able to access those positive beliefs, the emotions, the behaviors, and learning from everything. And yes, two of those people, my NLP man, or Joseph's NLP man, my man, they were based or, uh, used processes. But the processes, in some ways, what I've explained to you, learning from the past and then learning how you can change and be better in the future. Geoff Thompson, he created that same, I believe, similar process. He learned from the past, learned what was working. He knew if he carried on, it would have been a disaster, the consequences. And he decided to change and channel that energy into the good. So that's exactly what we've done today or in this episode. And so that really means I've put equals an equal sign in my notes. So can you. But there's a couple of pre work credits. One is you have to decide what you want and you have to decide to be it. Uh, acting as if. Just act as if you've got everything you need. Yes, I know you haven't done the work yet, but if you were just to act as it, that would change everything straight away and would give you the platform, the foundations. But when you look at what it's cost you and look what you can do in future and write down the things that would do that. Because here's the thing. If you say, well, I want to be calm, you've got calm inside you because you wouldn't know you wanted it. If you wanted to have whatever emotion or whatever behavior, you can learn it. And I know you've already got it in you anyway, because if you didn't know about it, you wouldn't know to want it or think it would be good. And these are the learnings you are using your conscious mind. End with your unconscious mind to learn. Learn what will work because they're coming from the experiences that your unconscious mind has missed because it's been using that old negative emotion of, say, anger. So you have to decide this or something better. That's what you have to ask when you do this, this or something better because that's then putting the lowest bar and you're going to achieve it more and more.     Take charge, decide, become the driver of your bus, not be a passenger   Now, as you know, there's a couple of things I want to finish off with. One of the things I wanted to tell you, I always put these notes on the side of my paper and, uh, what I want to tell you, what was this all about? And one of the things was, don't put up with it. Take charge, decide, become the driver of your bus, not be a passenger. Get empowered. Because when you're empowered you're at. Cause you're taking responsibility. We talk about, I can do this, I get to do this good. And here's the real thing, which is that taking responsibility, it's up to you and only you. No, don't give me any excuses or don't give yourself any excuses. Oh, I couldn't do it because of. No, no one makes you, you make you, you choose. Once you've choose and use the will to do whatever you, whatever you can, the will to do whatever you need to do, you'll get there.     If you want more help on personal development, ask Paul Clough   Now, I know this is a massive subject and I've just come there with hitting you with a mind map and a few stories and I know they're going to make a difference, they will, they'll drift in. Uh, but if you want more, want more on this subject or other subjects, what do you got to do? Well, ask, either ask somebody else, but you could ask me, ask me and we can then just as this episode and other episodes have come from an email from a listener saying, I've got this problem and I don't expect you to help, but I've just got this problem. Can you and a couple of emails and yes, these episodes have come to fruition and hopefully they're going to make a difference. So all you do, all you have to do is think and decide. Again, I'm going to, ah, ask, I don't know the answer but I'm going to ask Paul. Oh, Cloughie, see what he can do. Because thing is about it, if I don't know the answer straight away, I'm going to bloody find out the answer because you are now going to stretch me into finding new stuff, I'm going to learn stuff and I'm going to share it back with you because that's what I love doing. So please do ask. How do you do your email? I suppose you could do it on because I do have like an Instagram account and I do have was it x? Is it x now that used to be Twitter or Twitter, whatever you can find me by. I suppose you just search my name and you'll see my face and you'll see all the posts I put, uh, up which are all about personal development. So you know it's the right one. You could do it there. I think you can direct message me there or you just email me feedback at personal developmentunplug.com. That means no one gets to see the comments. Then it comes straight to me and we'll do something. And I'm not going to let you down and I'll support you in any way I can because I want to support you, getting you to where you, where you deserve to be. Um, and then even more. And I know that when I, when I do things like this, I learn myself and I learn, not just learn new things, but I learn to change myself as well. And hopefully then I become a better person too. That's what I want. So do that for me. Do that for me. And if you want, I know I always say share and things like that, but if you want to share this, I'd appreciate it. I really would let people know about this podcast because it's only a little one, but it's got, I think, some really good golden nuggets. So let's share it if we could. There you go, my friend. That's what all we got time for today. You've got some writing to do. Replay it. Replay the middle bit and follow and keep pausing it and writing those things down and let me know how well you do. And then from there, because when you do that, you might want a little bit of help. That's that email. Okay, go play. And love your feedback. Love your feedback. And you can do it in those other channels as well if you want to. Okay? So my friend, let's have more fun than you can stand doing this, knowing that you are going to create the most wonderful you and the most wonderful life for yourself. Look forward to that. So it's time to fly, my friends. Have more fun, as I said, than you can stand. Bye bye now.   White, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.   Personal development unplugged.

In this week's question, a kinkster wants to explore their Dominant side and wonders if they can use that to work through their anger. Here's the question: I'm a submissive but I may be... The post Q&A: Is Anger Part of Dominance? appeared first on Loving BDSM.

Dealing With Anger PART 1 Another episode based on a listener's email telling of their battle with anger and how the effects were ruining every part of their life. And I know this is not an isolated issue having worked with clients with debilitating anger. It affects most of us to some degree or other and it is not, I beleive, acceptable in any way and yes I too have and do work on this. I have split this between two episodes, so they are just the right size to get it and the work on it. Even if you say to yourself Well I'm not an angry person - you don't have to be angry all the time to work on it - deal with the snowball before it grows bigger as it slowly rolls down the hill - nip it in the bud. The stories I share are of real people and how quickly they were able to let go of their anger and the effects when they did. And you won't have to wait long for the second episode as I've swapped it with the next FMQ. It's so important to learn about the negative emotions in our lives and how we can deal with them quickly and comfortably so please share this episode - you will never know how far the effect of doing so will travel. https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/376-dealing-with-anger-part-1/ Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on > SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Listen to Personal Development Unplugged on RadioPublic Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,   And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, your heads up. Heads up to the longer podcast. It's another listener question, and it's about dealing with anger, excessive anger, anger that is really destroying a person's life and the people in their life. We're going to go through that. I'm going to give you some stories, true stories, of what can be achieved easily, and effortlessly, and also a process that you can use. So get a pen and paper. Yes, it means writing, but do that because it's so important. So have a listen after this little intro, and then we'll get right into it.   Oh, and I forgot, I've decided to split this up into two sections. I'm not going to leave you hanging. So it goes over a week to week, because I think it's important that once you start the process, you dive straight into it and you keep that motivation. But it was a long recording and I wanted you to get the basics. And, then in the second recording, actually sit down and work through the process so there's no distractions, no tiredness, no laziness. Say laziness. But I mean trying to put putting things off. You can actually concentrate and focus for that shorter period of time. And really home in onto that process or processes, because it's a process, but processes, they're all together. So bear with me because this is important. So, first part is setting the foundations, setting the scene, starting off the stories, and then part two will be getting into the process and, well, completing the stories. I hope, that's okay with you. And I say I won't keep you hanging. The next episode will be in the next couple of days or so. Okay. Hello. Hello.     The longer podcast from personal development unplugged is about anger   The longer podcast from personal development unplugged is with me, Paul, and I have another question, a, listener's question. So, one of the five or so listeners who are with you listening here. And it's all about bloody anger. Anger. I think we all get anger of some degree or another, don't we? But sometimes anger can be a real swearing, a real nightmare, a, ah, nightmare for the people who have the anger, and a nightmare for the people who have to suffer it along around them. So, anger has so many negative effects. It's a negative emotion. In my mind, it's a completely negative emotion and has no benefit. I've argued that for quite a few times, because some people think anger actually motivates them, and it can do, and I'll give you a story about that. But I don't think it's the best, emotion if you want motivation. But sometimes if you got it, you just got to maybe use it until you find a better way. You see, I know of people who have really suffered, really suffered with anger and the effects, and it's ruined their lives or it ruined their life at the time, because I've also seen it disappear in, in one case, literally minutes within one session. And that was when the time was right, the process was right. And I guess two people in the right place, because this was a long time ago, a long time ago, one of my early days, early days seeing clients. And this guy came along and said, I've got this terrible, terrible anger. It's so bad that my doctor has told me I need to find some type of psychological help, which is why I've come to you. Because everything within my body physically is going downhill, and in time, it will actually kill me. Oh, blimey, Riley. I thought to myself, this is a biggie. And I said, okay, well, we can do. Sure, I'm sure. Let's just start talking. He said, now, before you do that, I just want to make sure you can, if you're any good, because I said, let's have a look. He said, well, I want you to stop me smoking. Help me stop smoking. If you can help me stop smoking, then I'll trust you with this biggie. And I said, well, maybe the smoking is helping you. Every behavior is a positive intent, just like the anger. But maybe that smoking is helping you deal with the anger. And if we take that away, he said, no, no, I want to see how good you are. So we did it. And he came back, said, yeah, that's fine, dandy.     Let's talk about this anger. You see, let's look at anger as secondary   Let's talk about this anger. He said, it's so bad. As I said, my body is closing down on myself. My son, who used to live with me, can't stand me. So he's left my daughter, who's just about to have my first granddaughter. She's said, I'm not welcome. Not welcome to see her and have her new family when it comes, because of the way I've been said, I really need help. And, I'm not going to tell you this. I don't normally ask, about what's happening. I was bit inquisitive, but he told me, and, I'm not going to share that with you because it was just, it was a very, very emotional story. But his anger was so much that the voice inside his head was so loud all the time that these were the days of like the, Walkmans with a CD disc you put in and, what have you. He used to have it on turn out of ten in volume. So, you know, here, trying to drown out the noise in his head. That's how bad it was. And we did one process, it was just the right process just for him. Oh, there's a funny noise. And then, you see, it was all a matter of learning, learning at the unconscious level, not the conscious level. But we can do some learning at the conscious level because we're going to do it here today. But you see, it reminded me of somebody else who I really look up to. And there's a guy called Jeff Thompson. He used to be a bouncer. Not a nice man at that time, and even tell you he was not a nice man. And he said he used to get really, really angry because of the things that he'd suffered in the past that had in some ways not made him, but had created this man with, armor. He had tattoos and things like that. He had armor and he was like a doorman and he was in a really tough area and he excelled at that. But he said when he let that go and started to do other stuff and became very spiritual, he said he was still angry. But he would use that anger, and he would find a vehicle. Well, that was a vehicle, but he would find a destination, something that he could use that anger to a positive, effect. So not being angry and shouting at people, he would actually use that energy, the energy within him that was so volatile to do some wonderful things. And I even saw it, on my son's, Joseph's very first NLP training. There was a guy there, we were letting go of anger. It was just a topic on timeline therapy. And he came up to the stage to do the demo. We weren't quite sure because we never quite sure the background, but he found out that he had been holding on to anger for over 20 years, and it was still inside him, it still affected him. And in that demonstration, which was minutes, not hours, well, I'll tell you later. You see, let's look at anger, because for me, I say it's, a negative emotion. It's totally inappropriate in my mind. It serves no benefit. I'm sure it has a positive intention, I know, and the unconscious mind uses it. But to me, there's better emotions, better behaviors to use. You see, I think it's secondary, and I've been taught that it's secondary because you have fight and flight as your hardwired protection measure. It's hardwired in your neurology. No one can take it away. Your unconscious mind clicks into fight or flight. I know there's a freeze in there, but sometimes. But fight and flight is there, and, that really protects you. See, why would you need anger to protect you? In fact, why would you need all the other negative emotions to protect you? Because they don't work. But it's what your unconscious mind has found that works. Way back then, when you first experienced something and got angry and, it protected you in some way, maybe kept people away, maybe somehow it looked after you and it thought, well, I can continue do this or continue to keep doing this, but it's not appropriate, because if you don't learn, you see, I remember, and this is what really convinced me, that anger as well as fear, they're both secondary emotions that come after fight and flight. See, I was walking my dog. Another story, true story, walking my dog, taz. Beautiful little dog. Little got, him from one of those home things. And he was about four when I got him, I think, bless him, and he was frightened of everything. And we got him m through that, and we used to go for lovely walks. And he was a little bit of like a sheepy type dog. So I'd walk down the middle of, this green open grassland and he would run round the outside and he loved it. And then we'd meet up in the middle and then we'd walk home and one day we're doing this, and there was two or three dogs suddenly ran out of the side and started attacking, attacking him. So fight and fly. I suddenly went shouting at them, yeah, get off, get off, get off.   Yeah.   And they did. But what I didn't see was the group of guys round the corner whose dogs they were. And they were either drunk or drugged or both. And they started coming for me. Now what are you doing? Shout out to my dogs now. Fight and flight. I could have tried to fight, but there was more of them. And to be honest, I didn't. I thought the best thing to do was to, flight to flight. So they couldn't walk very fast because they were a little bit jaggedy on their feet with whatever they'd taken. So I walked pretty fast and got taz with me and we moved pretty fast to get away from that. Then I got home and whether it's like an adrenaline dump or not, I don't know, but I suddenly got really angry. Angry. Why are those people? How can they be like that? How can they be so aggressive towards me? We were doing nothing. How can they be doing that? And I got so angry with myself. Why didn't I just suddenly stop and go, ra. And then the fear came in. Yeah, but what happened if they had knives or whatever, could have died, been attacked and killed. I got fearful about it. And then angry and fear. And they came after the fight. Flight. The fight and the flight protected me. Without thinking. It just happened. And then that anger and that fear started to, get inside me until I realized, do you know what? We did the right thing. We did the right thing.     Find a therapist. What do you mean, find a therapist   And maybe next time to be a little bit more observant and maybe go at different times and just keep an eye out. So I learned from that. Never had a problem again. So it was about learning. And then that anger and that fear just disappeared from that thing. But if it hadn't had done, maybe that would be like a significant emotional event. That's what we call these things in timeline therapy and NLP, a significant emotional event. And that could have caused me then to have those fear, either a fear or anger in other events in the future. Because my unconscious mind might thought, well, it worked, but it doesn't. So inappropriate. And they're totally in direct conflict with what your unconscious mind is trying to do, trying to protect you. But fear doesn't protect you, as we said, because it's bloody frightening. Anger doesn't protect you because you don't see, you see red. But if you're aware you're calm in a way that you can access the true skills that you need, that's what protects you. Being comfortable, being able to recognize a situation and act appropriately, that's protection. And you see, I believe all these negative emotions, such as anger, have a starting point. Again, as we said, significant emotional event an see, and it needs learning from. And once you learn, you won't need the emotion and the behavior anymore because you have learned and that what your unconscious mind was thinking and acting and using as a protection measure is no longer appropriate because it's learned. It doesn't need it anymore because you've got what you need. And therefore, in the future, anything happened, you'll use the learnings and they'll protect you. But the thing is, if you are finding, and, we're talking about anger and dealing with anger, but this could be, as you know, in brackets, any other bloody emotion, if it's really causing you extreme difficulty, then go to one to one. What do you mean, one to one? Cloughy. What I mean is find a therapist. Find a therapist. One to one. I know there's a lot of adverts about, you can do it by text, you can do it by phone. Have you ever tried to read the emotion in, a text? Sometimes even on the phone, you can get the emotion, but you can't see the face, and you don't know whether it's a joke or it's being serious. So I really believe if you can, one to one, whether it's on Zoom or whether it's in with the therapist, face to face, ideally face to face, because I love that, but for other people. But find that brilliant therapist, and it'll go really quickly, just as I said, goes quite easily. And you see, but what you can do, because even if you are going to look for a therapist or you're working with a therapist right now, what we're going to do now will not do any harm. It will, I believe, assist you to move on even quicker.     Paul Cluff: Get ready for part two of the NLP process   Okay, so that's where I'm going to end this episode or this, portion of the episode. This part one I want you to, if it's okay, is to just consider in your mind how important it is to you to let go of this negative emotion, to let go of the associated behaviors, to let go of the effects both to yourself, to, the people around you, to maybe your job, friends, family, even little old planet earth is not getting the best out of you, is it? And if that's really important to you, I know that it is. You can begin to set your intention. Set, your intent. Say that again. Set your intention for. I'm going to do this. I really am. I'm going to get a pad, maybe some. Just some paper, some pencil. Some pencil. some pencil. Get a pencil. Pen, because you're going to need it in the second part. And it's not big stuff, but you're going to need it, because when we start doing the process, we're going to start making notes that you can refer to. And it's important that you do, because once you start the process of putting things on paper, you will get inspired to write more. Not volumes, tombs, as they call them, I think, or tomes, but you'll get intuition, I think. And certainly in the second part of the process, you can build upon it, even, to make things even richer. I'm, not going to tell you what they are or what it means, but you will get inspired. I know. So have just a little muse and decide. This is it. I've had enough. This anger in brackets, any other bloody thing, closed brackets, is no longer serving me. And I want to find a better way. I want to find a better way. And I'm prepared to do whatever it takes. And, whatever it takes is literally not that much. So if that's okay, we're going to stop here and just collect your thoughts, maybe, and get ready. Get ready for part two, where we'll go into the process of, letting things go. Hope, this makes sense. I recorded it all in one go, and then I just had this, the intuition of saying, do you know what? I think we got to do it slightly different. So that's what we're going to do. Okay? So until next time, my friend, get ready, get inspired. I've got this, I get to do this. I'm going to have the will to do whatever it takes to change, change my life and create a rich life. Okay, there you go. I see you very soon. bye bye now. Oh, just before you go, just a re reminder, that if you want, to access any of the free hypnosis and NLP process tracks that I have, there's about 60, 65 of them I was looking at the other day and covers such a myriad of different things. If you do want access to that, please go to paulcluffonline.com podcast and you'll get an email giving you your link to those 65 plus tracks. You can just, unload them, download them and keep them forever. So please do that. And if you want, share that with other people as well, because that'd be great to give them access to all these tools. They'll make a difference. I know they will. They will make a difference. So if that's of interest to you, just go to. As I said, I'll repeat it now. Re reminder, paulcluffonline.com podcast. You'll also get a newsletter from that. And it sometimes is so regular, it might even be monthly, not normally. And they're very short. Just giving you an update of what to expect or what you may have missed. And sometimes they're just video. Who knows? So if any of that's of interest, have it with my compliments. Okay? So get ready for part two. It's going to be coming very, very shortly, and it's going to make a difference, I'm sure.     Paul Clough leaves personal development unplugged to fly solo   Bye bye now. Let's fly.   You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.   Personal development unplugged.

Freedom from anger is such a needed place of liberation. So much of what fuels the negativity in the world is veiled under the blanket of anger. But what's REALLY behind the fury? Freedom from anything FIRST requires the acknowledgement of its dangerous clutch! Tune in to part 1 of our Freedom Friday conversation about ANGER!

Look back in Anger (Part 2) The Black Spy Podcast, Season 13, Episode 0003   This week's Black Spy Podcast is part 2 of a look back at last year 2023 but this time with the ladies of the show and as Dr Rachel says she's looking back in anger. Firgas and Dr. Rachel have chosen the events that for whatever reason have resonated with them through the year. As with last week's episode, a multitude of issues and events are discussed from the perspective of societal change and the norms and analysis these changes have on everyday regular world citizen. So once again the Black Spy Podcast hopefully makes listeners think and puts our life and times in true context. So in this second episode again we hear the views of these two women who attempt to assess the direct effect of 2023 into 2024 on our nation world and cultures. Don't forget to subscribe, to never to miss a Black Spy Podcast episode. To contact Firgas Esack of the DAPS Agency go to Linked In. To connect with Dr. Rachel Taylor go to Substack To contact Carlton King by utilising any of the following: To donate - Patreon.com/TheBlackSpyPodcast Email: carltonking2003@gmail.com Facebook: The Black Spy Podcast Facebook: Carlton King Author Twitter@Carlton_King Instagram@carltonkingauthor To read Carlton's Autobiography: “Black Ops – The incredible true story of a (Black) British secret agent” Click the link below: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/BO1MTV2GDF/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_WNZ5MT89T9C14CB53651 Carlton is available for speaking events. For this purpose use the contact details above.

Join Jason and Makenna this week as they continue their vulnerable conversation on the origins of anger and how it can be rooted in various emotional experiences. They explore the emotions that often precede anger, such as hurt, fear, and frustration, and discuss how the Holy Spirit responds to our anger. Jason shares practical tools that can help you work through anger constructively in day-to-day life and Makenna shares what cultivating the character of patience has looked like for her. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jason-tovey/message

Look back in Anger (Part 1) The Black Spy Podcast, Season 13, Episode 0002 This week's Black Spy Podcast is part 1 of a look back at last year 2023 but this time with the ladies of the show and as Dr Rachel says she's looking back in anger. Firgas and Dr. Rachel have chosen the events that for whatever reason have resonated with them through the year. As with last week, a multitude of issues and events are discussed from the perspective societal change and norms and analysis is provided as to there effects on us the everyday regular citizen. So once again the Black Spy Podcast hopefully makes listeners think and puts our life and times in true context. So this time its women who attempt to assess the direction we are travelling in as a nation, culture and indeed. Don't forget to subscribe, to never to miss a Black Spy Podcast episode. To contact Firgas Esack of the DAPS Agency go to Linked In. To connect with Dr. Rachel Taylor go to Substack To contact Carlton King by utilising any of the following: To donate - Patreon.com/TheBlackSpyPodcast Email: carltonking2003@gmail.com Facebook: The Black Spy Podcast Facebook: Carlton King Author Twitter@Carlton_King Instagram@carltonkingauthor To read Carlton's Autobiography: “Black Ops – The incredible true story of a (Black) British secret agent” Click the link below: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/BO1MTV2GDF/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_WNZ5MT89T9C14CB53651 Carlton is available for speaking events. For this purpose use the contact details above.    

Featured photo is Mina as a child (more pics below!) 374 Anger, Part 2 You Have Always Hated Me! In the Anger Part 1 podcast (371 on November 20), Rhonda, Matt and David discussed the fact that when you're feeling angry, there's always an inner dialogue—this is what you're saying to yourself, the way you're thinking about the situation—and an outer dialogue—this is what you're saying to the other person. In Part 1, we focused on the inner dialogue and described the cognitive distortions that nearly always fill your mind with anger-provoking inner chatter about the ‘awfulness” of the person you're mad at. Those distortions include All-or-Nothing Thinking, Overgeneralization, Labeling, Mental Filtering, Discounting the Positive, Mind-Reading, Fortune Telling, Emotional Reasoning, Other-Directed Should Statements, and Other-Blame. That's a lot—in fact, all but Self-Blame. And sometimes, when you're ticked off, you might also be blaming yourself, and feel mad at yourself at the same time. Matt suggested I add these comments on Self-Blame or it's absence:: Another possible addition would be when you identify the absence of Self Blame when we're angry. For me, it's been easier to think of that as a positive distortion, because you are blind to, or ignoring, your own role in the problem. In other words, when I'm blaming someone else, it's me thinking my poop smells great and tit's all the other person's fault.. I've wondered if we fool ourselves like this because of the desire to have a special and perfect “self,” which we then defend. Because nobody's perfect, our "ideal self," as opposed to our "real self," is just a pleasant, but potentially destructive, fantasy. Still, we try to preserve and project the fantasy that we are free of blame and the innocent victim of the other person's "badness," , and we imagine there we have a perfect “self” to defend. Or, as you've said, at times, David, “anger is often just a protective shell to hide and protect our more tender and genuine feelings.” We also discussed the addictive aspect of anger, since you probably feel morally superior to the “bad” person you're ticked off at when you're mad, and this makes it fairly unappealing to change the way you're thinking and feeling. Your anger also protects you from the risk of being vulnerable and open and genuine. Today we discuss the Outer Dialogue, and how to express angry feelings to another person, as well as how to respond to their expressions of anger. The main concept is that you can express anger in a healthy way, by sharing your anger respectfully, or you can act out your anger aggressively, by attacking the other person. That's a critically important decision! Toward the start of today's podcast, Rhonda, Matt and David listed some of the distinctions between healthy and unhealthy anger. The following is just a partial list of some of the differences:   Healthy Anger Unhealthy Anger You treat the other person with respect, even if you're angry. You want to put the other person down. Your goal is to get closer to the other person. You want to get revenge or hurt or humiliate the other person. You hope to improve the relationship. You want to reject or distance yourself from the other person. You want to understand the other person's mindset and find the truth in what they're saying, even if it sounds ‘off' or ‘disturbing' or offensive. You want to prove that the other person is ‘wrong' and persuade them that you are ‘right'. You want to understand and accept the other person. You insist on trying to change the other person. You express yourself thoughtfully. You express yourself impulsively. You come from a mindset of humility, curiosity, and flexibility. You come from a position of moral superiority, judgement, and rigidity. You are patient. You are pushy and demanding. Optimism that things can improve and that there's a great potential for a more meaningful and loving connection. Hopelessness and feelings of certainty that things cannot improve. Open to what I've done wrong and how I've hurt you. Focus on what you've done wrong and how you've hurt me. I-Thou mindset. I-It mindset. You're vulnerable and open to your hurt feelings. You put up a wall of toughness and try to hide your vulnerable true feelings.. You look for positive motives, if possible, and don't assume that you actually understand how the other person is thinking and feeling.. You attribute malignant motives to the other person and imagine that you can read their mind and know exactly why they feel the way they do. You accept and comprehend the idea that you can feel intensely angry with someone and love them at the same time.. You may believe that anger and love are dichotomies, and that conflict and anger, in some way, are the ‘opposite' of love or respect.. To bring some dynamics and personality to today's podcast, Mina, who's made a number of noteworthy appearances on the podcast, agreed to describe what she learned on a recent Sunday hike. (I've started up my Sunday hikes again, but in a small way now that the pandemic has subsided, at least for the time being. I'm struggling with low back pain when walking and that severely limits how far I can go.) Mina began by explaining that when she was talking to her mom on the phone. Her mom described a conflict with woman friend who seemed angry with Mina's mom. Mina said, “I can see why that woman got angry with you.“ Mina explained that her mother, who is “conflict phobic,” paradoxically ends up with conflicts with a lot of people. However, Mina's mother sounded hurt by Mina's comment, and said, “You've always hated me since you were a little girl! You always looked at me hatefully!” Here are some of Mina's "angry" childhood photos:   Mina explained how she felt when her mom said, "You've always hated me.” My jaw dropped when she said that! It was such a shock. I've always felt like she was my best friend! . . . I hate feeling angry. It makes me every bit as uncomfortable as anxiety. If I express my anger, it goes away, and I feel better. But I don't usually express it, and then it comes back disguised as weird neurologic symptoms. And that, of course, is the Hidden Emotion phenomenon that is so common in people who struggle with anxiety. When you try to squash or hide negative feelings your think you're not “supposed' to have, they often resurface in disguised form, as phobias, panic, OCD symptoms, chronic worrying, or any type of anxiety, including, as in Mina's case Health Anxiety—that's where you become convinced you have some serious neurologic or medical problem, like Multiple Sclerosis. Matt suggested that I might remind folks of my concept that “anger allays get expressed, one way or the other.” He's found this idea to be both true and incredibly helpful for “us nice folks who think we can get away without expressing our anger, thinking we can avoid conflicts, entirely. This always backfires, in my experience!” On the recent Sunday hike, Mina practiced how to talk with her mom, using the Five Secrets of Effective Communication. After that, she used what she'd practiced on the hike to talk to her mom about their relationship, and then got an “I love you” message from her mom the next morning. This made Mina very happy, but because she had a full day of back to back appointments, Mina decided to spend time crafting a thoughtful reply at the end of the day, when she had a little free time. But when she went back to her computer at the end of the day to send a message to her mom, she discovered that her mother had deleted the loving message she sent early in the day, and Mina felt hurt. When Mina asked her mom about it, her mom said that deleting the message was just an error due to ‘old age.” However, Mina did not really buy this, and thought her mom probably felt hurt and angry because Mina had not responded sooner. In the podcast, we practiced responding to mom using the role-play exercise I developed years ago. Essentially, one person plays the role of Mina's mom, and says something challenging or critical. Mina plays herself and responds as skillfully as possible with the Five Secrets, acknowledging the other person's anger and expressing her own feelings as well. We practiced responding to mom's statement, “You've always hated me.” Matt played the role of mom and Mina gave a beautiful Five Secrets response. You'll enjoy hearing her response, and Matt's and Rhonda's helpful feedback, when you listen to the podcast. Then Mina asked for help responding to another statement from her mom, who had also said: All of the kids your age are angry, because you were neglected a lot of the time because of the war in Iran, and your dad and I were busy doing what we had to do to survive and avoid being arrested. All of my Iranian friends with children your age are experiencing the same thing. Matt and Rhonda did more role plays with Mina, followed by excellent feedback on Mina's Five Secrets response. Again, I think you'll enjoy the role-playing and fine tuning when you listen to the podcast. One of the obvious take-home messages from today's podcast is to use the Five Secrets of Effective Communication when you're feeling angry and talking to someone who's angry with you as week, As a reminder, these are the Five Secrets. LINK TO 5 SECRETS And to make it simple, you can think of talking with your EAR: E = Empathy (listening with the Disarming Technique, Thought and Feeling Empathy, and Inquiry) A = Assertiveness (sharing your feelings openly with “I Feel” Statements) R = Respect (showing warmth and caring with Stroking) However, here's the rub: People who are angry will usually NOT want to do this! When you're ticked of, you will almost always have a huge preference for expressing yourself with the Unhealthy Anger described above. Matt urged me to publish my list of 36 reasons why this intense resistance to healthy communication. LINK HERE for the LIST 12 GOOD Reasons NOT to Empathize 12 GOOD Reasons NOT to Share your Feelings 12 GOOD Reasons NOT to Treat the Other Person with Respect. So, as you can see, there's a lot more to skillful communication of anger than just learning the Five Secrets of Effective Communication, although that definitely requires tremendous dedication and practice. But motivation is the most important key to success or failure. When you're upset with someone, you can ask yourself, “Do I want to communicate in a loving, or in a hostile way?” The reward of love are enormous, but the seduction of hostility and lashing out is at least as powerful! This battle between the light and the dark is not new, but has been blazing for tens of thousands of years. And, of course, the decision will be yours. Thanks for listening today, Mina, Rhonda, Matt, and David

Anger, Part 1 You suck! Screw you!   Jay asks: Are you EVER going to do a podcast on anger? Dr. Burns, Also are you EVER going to do a podcast on Anger with Rhonda and Matt? You have done many podcasts on depression, anxiety, interpersonal relationships YET there is not one podcast addressing anger. Given the world we live in right now maybe it's time to address Anger from a TEAM-CBT perspective and give it the attention you have given anxiety and depression. All the Best, Jay In today's podcast, Rhonda and David address this important but neglected topic that is perhaps more important than ever in today's angry and violent world. David began by pointing out that in the feeling Good App, anger improved as much as six other negative feeling clusters, with fairly dramatic reductions in just a few days. This was completely unexpected and exciting, and has been replicated in numerous beta tests. Maybe there IS a small glimmer of hope in this troubled, angry world! David pointed out that anger is addictive Depression is not addictive because in depression you are thinking I am no good, and you have negative and painful distortions about yourself. Anger, in contrast, is addictive because you are directing the distortions at other people, telling yourself that they are no good, and they will never change, and so forth. These distortions directed at others trigger feelings of moral superiority and those feelings are intensely addictive. Any group that is at war tends to feel morally superior and sees the “other” as scum, the enemy, and these distortions give you justification for hurting and killing them and feeling good about what you are doing. What makes the treatment of anger fairly challenging is that most angry people are not looking for help. Distortions directed at others are key in conflicts with friends and loved ones as well as racial and religious hatred, and war and violence. How do you treat a patient who is angry? You always start with T = Testing. David's research on therapist accuracy indicates that therapist accuracy is recognizing anger in their patients is incredibly poor. If you want to assess and deal with patient anger,  the Brief Mood Survey at the start and end of every session can be invaluable, and the Evaluation of Therapy session at the end can also help. E = Empathy comes next. However, empathizing with someone who is angry can be challenging because they are often provocative, or want the therapist to align with them in their belief that the person they are angry with is to blame. We want the client to feel accepted, and have a warm relationship with their therapist so the therapist can easily get sucked into the patient's blaming mind-set. David calls this “reverse hypnosis,” and this can sabotage the chance for effective treatment. Empathy can be challenging if the anger is directed at the therapist, or if the client is saying they are so angry they want to hurt someone. That can be ethically challenging because of the Tarasoff duties to warn the victim and notify the police. That is tough because the client can get upset with the therapist. A = Assessment of Resistance comes next, starting with the Straightforward or Paradoxical Invitation. With someone who is angry, we nearly always use the Paradoxical Invitation. Here's an example: You have been talking about person X, and I can see you are pretty fed up with her. You said, you've tried everything and nothing works, and she won't change. I have a lot of tools that could be very helpful if you want to do work on the relationship and turn it around. But I did not hear you saying that, and I am assuming that is NOT what you want. Don't get me wrong, if you want to work on this relationship, I'd love to do that so you can develop a closer relationship, but at the same time, there's no law that says you have to get along or like everyone. I'm assuming you DON'T want to work on your relationship with X, but want to make sure I'm understanding you. Am I reading your right? M = Methods Two invaluable tools are the Straightforward or Paradoxical Cost-Benefit Analysis for anger, blame, or for the relationship. Anger CBA What are the Advantages and Disadvantages of feeling intense anger at the other person. Blame CBA What are the Advantages and Disadvantages of blaming the other person for the problem. Relationship CBA What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a relationship with this person? David provided this example of a Paradoxical Anger CBA. A man was hospitalized involuntarily in Philadelphia who was brought in by the police. He was working at Savings and Loan company with disgruntled customers. A customer came in who was whining and complaining. The patient was a large and powerful man, and he got so angry at the whining customer that he picked him up and threw him against the wall. They called the police who arrested the man, but he seemed psychotic, or in a manic state, so they brought him, instead, to the hospital. He was sent to Dr. Burns' cognitive therapy group shortly after he was admitted to the locked unit, and defiantly stated at the start of the group that he was sent here for “anger management!” Dr. Burns said he never tried to “manage” anger, and instead suggested that they could list some of the advantages and benefits of his anger with the help of the group, and also list what his outburst showed about him that was positive and awesome. Together, the man and the group listed more than a dozen positives on the white board, including: Truth was on his side People are too entitled, making demands on other people. The patient has a strong value system and was willing to put everything on the line for his beliefs He was willing to show his true feelings. And many more. At the end of the group, Dr. Burns reviewed all the really good reasons for his angry outburst, and said he did not see any reason for him to change or to give up his anger. The patient said he totally agreed. At the start of the group, the man's anger had been 100 on a scale from 0 to 100. Dr. Burns asked him how angry he was now, and the patient said zero! The dramatic change came about because of the Paradoxical Cost-Benefit Analysis. That strategy can be tremendously helpful when you are working with an angry patient. You won't get any buy-in by trying to convince the patient to manage their anger. David was actually siding with the patient's resistance, and the patient could sense that David actually liked and admired him. This can form the basis of a trusting and productive therapeutic relationship. But many therapists are afraid of this type of paradoxical strategy and reluctant to let go of their addictions to “helping,” in spite of the high failure rate with that approach. You and your patient have to be on the same team if you want to use tools for effective change. If the patient is motivated and wants help, you can work on the inner dialogue or the outer dialogue, or both. The inner dialogue is the way you are thinking about the situation, and the outer dialogue is the way you are communicating with the other person. Anger always results from your inner dialogue—your thoughts about the other person, and those thoughts will nearly always be distorted. The Daily Mood Log can be very helpful at eliciting and challenging those distortions. The focus with the DML is on the inner dialogue, which will nearly always include a rich mix of positive and negative distortions including All-or-Nothing Thinking: Seeing the other person as a total loser. Overgeneralization: Generalizing from a negative moment or characteristic and seeing them in an entirely negative way based on this one negative habit, or feature they have. We all have features that are not likeable. WE generalize from the person's actions to their SELF. You think the person is bad. Mental Filtering: Noticing and focusing and all the things about the other person that you find offensive. Discounting the Positive: Ignoring the person's positive qualities, or telling yourself that they're fake or don't count. Mind-Reading You imagine the other person's motives. When you feel angry you nearly always attribute malignant motives to them. Sometimes there are some truths and other times there are no truths. Fortune Telling: Telling yourself that the other person will never change. Magnification and Minimization: Exaggerating the other person's “badness” and minimizing their good qualities. Emotional Reasoning: I feel angry at you, therefore, you are scum and I want to get back at you. You must be very bad. Labeling: We label someone as a terrorist as if the person's entire person can be reduced to a label. There are terrorist actions but…a terrorist can be considered a freedom fighter by someone else. Shoulds He shouldn't be like that. She shouldn't have said that. Other Blame: Telling yourself the other person is to blame and that you are the innocent victim or their badness. Once you've identified the distortions in a thought, you can use any of the more than 100 M = Methods I've developed to challenge it, such as Explain the Distortions Externalization of Voices with Acceptance Paradox, Self-Defense, and Counter-Attack Technique Semantic Technique for Should Statements Forced Empathy Positive Reframing of the other persons feelings and behaviors Individual / Interpersonal Downward Arrow Examine the Evidence How Many Minutes Technique Paradoxical Double Standard Many more If our listeners (meaning you) want a Part 2 podcast on anger, we can describe helping the patient with the Outer dialogue, which is how you actually communicate with the person you're feeling angry with. This was not discussed in great detail on today's podcast, but we just touched on a couple points. The first topic is the difference between Attacking with your anger vs Sharing your anger. It's not bad to be angry, but it is how you share and express your anger that's most important. There's a huge difference between healthy and unhealthy anger. If your goal is to hurt and demean the other person, it's unhealthy, destructive anger. You may want to get back at the other person, hurt them, or put them down. Healthy anger is very different. Martin Buber, a 20th Century Jewish theologian, distinguished an “I-It” vis and “I-thou” relationship. Buddhist philosophy is similar. They say that the cause of all evil is the belief that you are separate from an external reality, so you see other person or group you're angry with as the “enemy” or the “it,” that is separate from you, and “different,” as opposed to the “thou.” Then you can rationalizing using, hurting, or even killing them in order to advance your own interests, or so you think! Sharing your anger involves letting the person know directly and openly and respectfully that you are angry with them because of something they DID, and not because of something they ARE. The goal of healthy anger is to develop a deeper and more loving (or satisfying) relationship with the other person. Healthy anger is the decision you make to share your anger, rather than to attack with your anger out of vengeance, frustration or rage. Healthy anger is not the choice that most people seem to make, since unhealthy anger gives feelings of vengeance and moral superiority. A Part 2 podcast on anger might include Forced Empathy Relationship Journal (RJ What did the other person say? What did you say next? EAR Checklist / Bad Communication Checklist Consequences Five Secrets of Effective Communication List of 12 GOOD Reasons NOT to E = Empathize using Listening Skills A = Assertiveness—Sharing vs attacking with your anger R = Convey Respect The RJ Requires insight, communication skill, and the painful death of the “self” Examples: Why does my husband constantly criticize me? Why are men so critical? Why does my wife treat me like crap? Why can't men express their feelings? Thanks for listening! Rhonda, and David

The Bible tells us to “be angry, but do not sin.” The question is, how do we do it? Well, even talking about anger can sometimes make us mad. But as you'll see over the next twenty minutes or so, there is a way to manage anger without sinning. There's even a way to overcome it once and for all. Stay with us now as Ron moves ahead in his teaching series, “Undefeated: Overcoming the Deadly Sins That Drag You Down.”   --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/something-good-radio/support

That which begins in the heart can only be overcome through a change of heart. Anger is like that. It begins in our hearts and, if not kept in check, can lead to angry words, angry actions, or both. To help us overcome this deadly sin, Ron takes us to the words of Jesus as continues his series, “Undefeated: Overcoming the Deadly Sins That Drag You Down.”   --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/something-good-radio/support

Episode 258: Understanding Your Emotions for Emotional Resilience: Mastering Anger - Part 5Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. This is the last of the 5-Part Series on Creating Emotional Resilience.This series was created from a class I took, you've heard about it in all the other episodes - in it we practiced different skills like healthy thinking patterns, managing stress, overcoming anger….all the good stuff. Take from it what resonates with you, that you may navigate your life with a bit more resilience. One step at a time. These are muscles we are trying to develop. Emotional resilience muscles.Today's episode is about one of our strongest emotions. Anger.It's a real emotion that we don't want to deny, but that we need to learn to navigate and choose thoughts and actions that create more peace in us rather than feed the anger beast. Stay tuned.As I am writing this episode we just completed the April 2023 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. As I sat and listened to the prophets and leaders I was surprised at how many talks were about not being contentious. Even the prophet himself focused his primary message on the topic of being peacemakers. In 3 Nephi 11:29-30 the Savior taught the Nephites: “There shall be no disputations among you…for verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another behold this is NOT my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away.”Anger is something we all feel. It's an emotion that rears it's head when underneath we really feel resentful, disappointed, ashamed, hopeless, guilty, our expectations are unmet, we are embarrassed, frustrated, anxious, threatened, rejected, hurt, offended, heartbroken…there are a lot of underlying emotions and situations that trigger anger. Emotional resilience means that we are able to more effectively understand our emotions and manage them. This is a life-time of work, but a very important part of our work. This is part of living with awareness and moving toward higher ways of being.Let's consider a couple ideas.1. Anger comes from lots of various emotions, as I've just mentioned. Understanding that can help us get to the bottom of an angry situation so we can deescalate it and understand ourselves better. What I mean by this is that when you feel yourself getting angry, stop and consider what's causing the anger. Are your feelings hurt? Are you disappointed? Are you embarrassed? Once we understand what has us so upset we can navigate the situation better - sometimes even just understanding that can help you better communicate with the person you are angry with. For instance, let's say you've asked your husband to do something numerous times and he doesn't get around to doing it. You can spiral in the “Why doesn't he listen to me? Why can't he help? Why can't he see the wisdom in doing it this way?” etc. etc. or you can identify that perhaps you're feeling disrespected, resentful, unappreciated, hurt. With this knowledge you can then open a conversation, “When I ask you to help rake the leaves up over and over and it doesn't get done, I feel unheard, disrespected, hurt.” This approach shares a vulnerable insight into your feelings that focuses on you and doesn't focus on making accusations toward him At the very least this opens space for communication. People talking things out and striving to understand another's position on something is a tool to choosing peace and peacemaking over anger and...

Join us in person or watch church live online every weekend. Service times: Saturday @6pm Sunday @9 and 11am www.faithlivingchurch.com https://www.facebook.com/faithlivingchurch/live/ https://www.youtube.com/c/faithlivingchurch/live

Join us in person or watch church live online every weekend. Service times: Saturday @6pm Sunday @9 and 11am www.faithlivingchurch.com https://www.facebook.com/faithlivingchurch/live/ https://www.youtube.com/c/faithlivingchurch/live

We changed up the beginning of the program a little today. And maybe you recognized that tune from the early 80’s. But if you didn’t … it’s Randy Stonehill’s Shut De Do (Keep Out the Devil). In today’s message, we’re going to be discussing that exact point … because when we open the door just a little, we’re giving the enemy the opportunity to bring all kinds of trouble into our lives. When we let anger fester, it keeps the poison in our flowing and we want to keep the poison out!Support the show: https://www.moodyradio.org/programs/bold-steps-with-dr-mark-jobe/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Learning to tame a powerful emotion in a healthy way … today on Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. As we continue our study of feelings and emotions, we’ll be looking at a powerful, yet paradoxical emotion … anger. Is it considered a strength? Or a weakness? Well, it might surprise you to learn while anger seems like it’s the most powerful and the strongest emotion we can have … it’s actually a secondary emotion ... fueled by fear or sadness. And Mark, you say that it’s okay to get angry about certain things … but we can’t let it rage out of control. Today we'll how to handle Anger in a godly way.Support the show: https://www.moodyradio.org/programs/bold-steps-with-dr-mark-jobe/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.