Podcasts about overgeneralization

"Part of the reason I stay super busy is bc if I stop to rest l'll ruminate. And if I ruminate, I start spiraling. And if I spiraling I'm like a nosediving plane" Sound familiar? Discover the ANSWER to WHY you get stuck in your most annoying perfectionist tendencies, like ruminating, catastrophizing, overthinking every small mistake etc. Plus the 6 reasons your perfectionist brain holds on to outdated habits,  how chronic stress impacts your brain's ability to change, the role of back and white thinking in reinforcing unhelpful neural pathways, why past experiences trick your brain into seeing danger everywhere and how to stop your worries from becoming self-fulfilling prophecies.  On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire TIMESTAMPS:00:00–How to finally take charge of ruminating02:16–Missed the last episode? Here's a quick recap04:06–What happens when your brain gets it wrong06:09–Why perfectionist brains resists learning from mistakes07:40–6 sneaky reasons your brain ignores new info08:23–How chronic stress keeps your brain stuck10:20–Why your brain clings to old patterns11:42–The hidden reason you avoid discomfort12:51–When your brain blows things out of proportion13:49–How black-and-white thinking is like wearing blinders15:19–Why past experiences warp your reactions19:34–How to update your brain so you can get unstuck21:09–One small shift to start seeing change today The first step in rewiring Resources Mentioned In Episode 250:Take your first step in rewiring Perfect Start Introductory SessionMagic Skill for Control of Emotions [Neuroscience Series #1] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248How Perfectionist Brain *Actually* Works [Neuroscience Series #2] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249When Taking A Few Deep Breaths Isn't Enough Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 192Will Save Your Sanity(might change your life) Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 193 Citations/Sources:Bar, M. (2009). The proactive brain: memory for predictions. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B Biological Sciences, 364(1521), 1235–1243. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2008.0310Barrett, L. F., & Simmons, W. K. (2015). Interoceptive predictions in the brain. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 16(7), 419–429. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn3950Braem, S., Coenen, E., Klaas Bombeke, Bochove, van, & Wim Notebaert. (2015). Open your eyes for prediction errors. Cognitive Affective & Behavioral Neuroscience, 15(2), 374–380. https://doi.org/10.3758/s13415-014-0333-4Clark, A. (2013). Whatever next? Predictive brains, situated agents, and the future of cognitive science. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 36(3), 181–204. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0140525x12000477Handley, A. K., Egan, S. J., Kane, R. T., & Rees, C. S. (2014). The relationships between perfectionism, pathological worry and generalised anxiety disorder. BMC Psychiatry, 14(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/1471-244x-14-98Kummer, K., Mattes, A. & Stahl, J. Do perfectionists show negative, repetitive thoughts facing uncertain situations?. Curr Psychol (2023). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-023-04409-3Lital Yosopov, Saklofske, D. H., Smith, M. M., Flett, G. L., & Hewitt, P. L. (2024). Failure Sensitivity in Perfectionism and Procrastination: Fear of Failure and Overgeneralization of Failure as Mediators of Traits and Cognitions. Journal of Psychoeducational Assessment, 42(6), 705–724. https://doi.org/10.1177/07342829241249784Mattes, A., Mück, M., & Stahl, J. (2022). Perfectionism-related variations in error processing in a task with increased response selection complexity. Personality Neuroscience, 5. https://doi.org/10.1017/pen.2022.3‌McNally, G. P., Johansen, J. P., & Blair, H. T. (2011). Placing prediction into the fear circuit. *Trends in Neurosciences*, *34*(6), 283–292. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tins.2011.03.005‌Meyer, A., & Wissemann, K. (2020). Controlling parenting and perfectionism is associated with an increased error-related negativity (ERN) in young adults. *Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience*, *15*(1), 87–95. https://doi.org/10.1093/scan/nsaa018‌Roy, M., Shohamy, D., Daw, N., Jepma, M., Wimmer, G. E., & Wager, T. D. (2014). Representation of aversive prediction errors in the human periaqueductal gray. *Nature Neuroscience*, *17*(11), 1607–1612. https://doi.org/10.1038/nn.3832‌ Perfectionism Rewired is committed to neuroscience truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, neuroplasticity + interoception techniques for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life you've worked so hard to create instead of obsolete advice to "overcome your perfectionism"

418 The Fear of Driving Featuring Werner Spitzfaden, LCSW and Rhonda Barovsky, PsyD Today, we feature Werner Spitzfaden, LCSW, a Level 3 certified TEAM-CBT therapist who recently treated Rhonda, who's driving phobia returned during the pandemic because she did very little driving at that time. After you overcome any fear or phobia, it has a way of returning if you don't continue confronting your fear. Werner describes his skillful and compassionate work with Rhonda! Werner is a dear colleague and friend with over 35 plus years of clinical experience treating phobias, such as the fear of flying, claustrophobia (the fear of being trapped in small places), and driving (especially over bridges and overpasses). He also treats depression, panic and other forms of anxiety, and works in corporate environments to improve communication and teamwork. Let's dive right in, Please take a look at Rhonda's completed Daily Mood Log, As you can see, the upsetting event was thinking about driving over an overpass, and she rated her initial anxiety cluster at 100%, indicating extreme anxiety. She was also 90% ashamed, and 80% Inferior, worthless, inadequate, defective, and incompetent. She was also feeling 99% embarrassed, foolish, humiliated, and self-conscious, and 85% hopeless, despairing, frustrated, stuck, angry, annoyed, irritated, upset, and devastated. Her sadness was only modestly elevated at 25%. There are several teaching points. First, most of Rhonda's negative feelings were severely to extremely elevated. Second, although she is asking for help with a phobia, anxiety often goes hand-in-hand with a wide variety of negative feelings, including shame and inadequacy. This is because anxious individuals often feel like there's something terribly and shamefully wrong with them. Rhonda's feelings of shame are not unusual. Shame is a central feature of anxiety, whereas a loss of self-esteem is a central feature of depression. Werner added that the fear of driving often goes along with the fear of heights as well as claustrophobia. Rhonda admitted to engaging in many “safety behaviors” which typically make anxiety temporarily better but worse in the long run. Rhonda's "safety behaviors" included  going out of her way when driving to avoid scary overpasses as well as asking her husband to drive her many place. As you can see, these totally understandable “safety behaviors” relieve your anxiety in the here-and-now because they are forms of avoidance, but that's why they makes anxiety worse in the long run. The urge to avoid of the thing(s) you fear is universal among individuals struggling with all forms of anxiety. Werner emphasized the importance of empathy in the initial phase of treatment, and throughout the treatment, since trust and the courage to face your fears is so central in the treatment of all forms of anxiety and, of course, depression as well. Rhonda invited Werner and another TEAM-CBT colleague, Lee Flowers, to stay with her in Berkeley during the recent TEAM intensive that David and Jill Levitt directed at the South SF Conference Center near the airport. She drove the group to and from the workshop to face her fears and get some motivation and support at the same time. You can see many of her negative thoughts about driving on Rhonda's completed Daily Mood Log, including these: The bridge will collapse. 95% Other cars will make the bridge unstable. 100% I'll have a heart attack. 95% I'm so dumb for not driving on this overpass. 1005 I'm an ass. 100% I can't do this. 100% I'll die. 100% Lee and Werner will see me at my worst. 100% I need to study the exact route before I start. 100% I'll get into an accident. 100% As you can see, the list includes a mixture of fear-inducing thoughts as well as self-critical thoughts and shame-inducing thoughts, like "Lee and Werner will see me at my worst." Whenever you are working with anyone with anxiety, you have to emphasize first, to create trust, warmth, and understanding. This won't cure anyone of anything, but will give your patients the courage to face their fears when you get to the M - Methods portion of your TEAM session. After you get your A in empathy, you can move on to A = Paradoxical Agenda Setting. That where you bring Outcome and Process Resistance to conscious awareness. Then you melt them away using a variety of TEAM-CBT techniques. Outcome Resistance means that Rhonda may have mixed feelings about a “cure” for her driving phobia. In other words, although she WANTS to get rid of this fear, she may subconsciously NOT want to get rid of it. Can you think of why? Take a moment to think about it, and make a guess. You'll find the answer at the end of the show notes. Process Resistance means she may WANT a cure for her driving phobia, but may not be willing to do what it takes to defeat this fear. What will she have to do? Take a moment to think about it, and make a guess. You'll find the answer at the end of the show notes. Werner and Rhonda described a number of TEAM-CBT M = Methods that they used to reduce Outcome Resistance, including The Miracle Cure Question The Magic Button Positive Reframing The Pivot Question The Magic Dial. To put this phase in a nutshell, Werner highlighted how Rhonda's intensely negative feelings helped her and revealed many positive things about her core values as a therapist and human being. This is a shame-reducing technique and you can use the Magic Dial to ask your patient what they would like to dial each negative feeling down to, without reducing them all the way to zero. You can see Ronda's goals on Rhonda's completed Daily Mood Log in the Emotions Table Next, Werner worked on Process Resistance, bringing the work on Paradoxical Agenda Setting to closure. At the start of the M = Methods portion of their work, Rhonda identified the distortions in two of her thoughts (“I'm dumb,” and “I can't do this.”). See how many distortions you can find. Wrote them down on a piece of paper and when you're done you can see the answers at the end of the show notes. Werner pointed out that Rhonda's anger, directed against herself, had become a springboard for agitation which intensified her anxiety. Werner and Rhonda challenged some of her negative thoughts with Examine the Evidence, Externalization of Voices (illustrated live during the podcast),Double Standard Technique and the Paradoxical Double Standard Technique as well as a Fear Hierarchy, which you can see if you click here. The also did Cognitive Flooding (also called Imaginal Exposure) three times, and by the third time Rhonda could only increase her negative feelings into the mild range, whereas they had started out in the extremely elevated range. They also used breathing exercise plus getting into the here-and-now to calm herself while driving over overpasses. All of this was background work for actually driving during the intensive, and the highlight was driving home in the dark on the third evening of the intensive. For Rhonda, this was the most fearful thing of all!  She said at the start her anxiety was "greater than 100%," but she felt triumphant when she arrived home. Werner gave her specific homework, like driving over a specific overpass four times, and also encouraged Michael, Rhonda's husband, not to give in to her requests to do the driving on a planned trip to visit friends in Sacramento. I am deeply grateful to Rhonda for giving us such a raw and real glimpse into her courageous and victorious win over her intense driving phobia, and a big thanks also to Werner for being such a kind and powerful TEAM-CBT therapist, teacher!, and beloved friend! Thanks for listening today, Rhonda, Werner, and David Solution to puzzles above Outcome Resistance: If she's “cured,” she'll have to start driving much more, and that will include driving over overpasses and bridges. This concept will freak her out now, because she's still afraid something horrible might happen if she stops avoiding them. Process Resistance: To overcome her fears, she'll have to face them and experience some fairly intense fear along the way. Werner can support her, and drive with her, as he did, but she will still freak out at first when driving on overpasses and bridges. The distortions in those two negative thoughts included All-or-Nothing Thinking, Overgeneralization, Mental Filtering, Discounting the Positive, Mind-Reading, Magnification and Minimization, Emotional Reasoning, Hidden Shoulds, Labeling, and Self-Blame.

Feeling Down? Try the Feeling Great App for Free! The Feeling Great App is now available in both app stores (IOS and Android) and is for therapists and the general public, and you can take a ride for free! Check it  out at FeelingGreat.com! What's a Give-Get Imbalance? What's the Best Treatment for Anxiety and Dysthymia? Can you do Externalization of Voices on Your Own? The show notes for today's podcast were largely written prior to the show. Tune in to the podcast to hear the discussion of these questions by Rhonda, Matt, and David. And keep the questions coming. We enjoy the exchange of ideas with all of you. Thanks! Suzanna asks: What's a “Give-Get” imbalance? And how can you get over it? Martin asks: What's the best treatment for anxiety and dysthymia? Eoghan (pronounced Owen) asks: Can you do Externalization of Voices on your own?  1. Suzanna asks: What's a “Give-Get” imbalance? And how can you get over it? Description of Suzanna's problem. Suzanna is a woman with a grown daughter with severe brain damage due to a severe brain infection (viral encephalitis) when she was an infant. Suzanna was constantly giving of herself and catering to her daughter. She explains that her daughter can be very demanding and throws tantrums to get her way, and kind of controls the entire home in this way. She can only talk a little and has the vocabulary of about a two-and-a-half-year-old. She can mostly express the things she wants or doesn`t want on a very basic level. She mostly understands what I want from her, but mostly does not want to do what I ask her to do. She can be very stubborn. And I cannot reason with her because she has her own logic and, in her eyes, only her logic is valid. Maybe all a little bit like a two-and-a-half-year-old. Suzanna struggles with negative feelings including guilt, anxiety and depression, because she is constantly giving, giving, giving and feeling exhausted and resentful. And she tells herself, “I should be a better mum.” Can you spot any distortions in this thought? Put your ideas in the text box, or jot them down on a piece of paper, and then I'll share my thinking with you! What are the distortions in the thought, “I should be a better mum”?   There are many distortions in this thought, including All-or-Nothing Thinking, Overgeneralization, Mental Filtering, Discounting the Positive, Magnification and Minimization, Emotional Reasoning, Self-Directed Should Statements, and Self-Blame. There may be one or two more, too! The first step in change nearly always includes dealing with motivation and resistance. Suzanna decided to do a Cost-Benefit Analysis, as you can see below, and a revision of her Self-Defeating Belief, as you can see below. Another helpful step might include “No Practice,” which simply means saying “no” so you don't constantly get trapped by “giving,” as well as “giving in.” A third critically important strategy involves the mom and dad making the decision to work together as a loving team in the management of a troubled child, rather than fighting and arguing with each other, as we've discussed on previous podcasts. However, in many, or possibly most cases, the parents are not willing to do this. They are more concerned about being "right" and so they continue to do battle with each other, as well as the child who needs a more loving structure. David Cost-Benefit Analysis Self-Defeating Belief: I should be a better mum to my daughter Advantages of this belief(How does believing this help me?) Disadvantages of this belief(How does believing this hurt me?) This thought motivates me to: Put myself out. Push myself to give what I have.  Find ways to advance her development.  Find ways to involve her in everyday life. Invest myself into her and her life as much as I can, physically, emotionally and time wise. Try to find ways that my daughter can have a fulfilling life. Try hard to connect to her, her pain, her needs, her sadness and her frustration. Try to make her life as easy as possible. Try my hardest to see her world through her eyes and gain deeper understanding of how she feels. Try to understand what is upsetting her when she throws a tantrum. Stay healthy and fit to have energy for her. Try to make her life rewarding and meaningful. Fulfill my duty as a mum to my daughter who needs my support. I can feel good about myself. I satisfy other people's expectations of me.  Protects me from criticisms from my husband               I am a prisoner to my daughter. No matter how hard I try I don`t seem to make a meaningful difference to her life and to her development. I am a “Siamese Twin” to her. I cannot move or do anything if she doesn`t want to. I reason with my emotions instead of thinking rational at times. I let my daughter get away with “murder”. I find excuses for her behaviour.  I find excuses for her why she cannot behave differently. I beat up on myself when I feel I failed her. I take all responsibilities away from My daughter and make them my own. I blame myself when I cannot motivate her to do something. I blame myself when she is bored and unhappy. I feel guilty doing my own things. I feel guilty when I do not involve her in my activities. I feel guilty when I expect her to do entertain herself for a while.  I cannot live my own life. I cannot be myself at times. She rules my life, and she lives my life. I feel trapped and frustrated.  I feel I need to constantly entertain her. I feel responsible for her happiness. I feel responsible when My daughter is sad and frustrated. I feel exhausted and overwhelmed at times.  I feel unhappy and unfulfilled.           Advantages: 20 Disadvantages: 80  Semantic Method: Re write your personal value I want to be a mum to My daughter and help her along and invest myself into her. But I also want to treat myself the way I treat her. She has a “right” to live a happy and fulfilling life, but so do I. Our needs and desires are equally important and deserve the same attention and care. I can only continue to look after My daughter well if I look after myself too and take myself and my needs and desires as seriously as I do hers. There needs to be a give-get balance so that both of us can be healthy and happy and stay healthy and happy. I want to help her to slowly take new steps into independence and support her lovingly along the way.   2. What's the best treatment for anxiety and dysthymia? Hello Dr. Burns, What method of treatment would you suggest for GAD and dysthymia? 3rd wave CBT, ACT? What is best based on science? Can you recommend some books please? thank you Martin David's Reply My books are listed on my website, FeelingGood.com. They all describe my approach, which is a bit like CBT on steroids. But every patient is treated individually and uniquely, following a structured and systematic approach that facilitates rapid and dramatic change. I don't recommend “methods of treatment” or “schools of therapy” based on so-called “diagnoses,” but treat the individual with TEAM. Every session with every patient is an experiment, with precise measures at the start and end of every session. The new Feeling Great App, now available, gets a mean of 50% or more reductions in seven negative feelings, such as depression, anxiety, and more, in 72 minutes of starting to use the bot. You can check it out for free! Anxiety and depression often co-exist, and the app targets both. My book, When Panic Attacks, describes my approach to anxiety, based on four models of treatment: the Motivational, Cognitive, Exposure, and Hidden Emotion Models. If you use the search function, you can find podcasts describing those models. Also, there's a free anxiety class on this website. Thanks, Martín, for your excellent question! Best, david 3. Can you do Externalization of Voices on your own? Hi David, Long time listener of your great podcast and huge fan of your book Feeling Great. I've often heard you mention that “externalization of voices” is one of, if not the most powerful CBT techniques. I am just wondering if it is still almost as effective when done solo without a therapist i.e. the person takes on both the roles of positive and negative by recording themselves talking or similar? Also, have you any data comparing the efficacy of TEAM CBT work carried out solo using Feeling Great/your podcast as a guide vs. TEAM CBT performed with a trained TEAM therapist? I am very much looking forward to the Feeling Great app launch in the UK as hopefully that will be a much more effective way to do personal work without a therapist. Many thanks, Eoghan (pronounced Owen) David's reply Thank you, Eoghan! Appreciate your support and thoughtful question. I don't have any data on the use of EOV on your own. One could use a recording device, like your cell phone, and record  your negative thoughts in second person, “you,” and try to defeat them when you play them back, one at a time. But in my experience, people nearly always need an experienced role player to do role reversals to show them how to get to a “huge” win. People almost never get a huge win when doing it for the first time, because the therapist (in the role of positive self) can model unfamiliar strategies for the patient. Generally, a hugely successful response involves a combination of self-defense, self-acceptance, and the CAT, or counter-attack technique. And sometimes other methods as well, like Be Specific, for example Radical new learning is definitely the key to success with EOV. Now, thanks to the app, everyone can practice, since we've trained our Obie Bot to role-play with users, do role reversals, give feedback, and so forth. Great question that I will include in the next Ask David if that's okay! We are also exploring the combination of the Feeling Great App plus a trained TEAM therapist from the Feeling Good Institute in Mountain View, California. We are hoping that 1  + 1 may equal 3. Wouldn't that be awesome? What I've found when doing research is that the results are virtually always wildly unexpected! Somethings come out great, and some things come out dismally. I always tell myself that “the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away!” Seems to be the rule in research! Especially when you're wanting to be guided by the truth, and not so much by your hopes and expectations. Best, David

Included in this episode: Predisposed outlooks we see in the world around us. Patterns of thinking or beliefs Tendencies that are inaccurate or untrue The potential to inflict psychological harm Admitting you have false beliefs and distorted thoughts may be terrifying but no good comes from relieving these facilities daily. Cognitive reframing/restructuring Modifying behavior and core belief systems More positive and productive thoughts Types of Cognitive Distortions: Polarization of thoughts: a person creates acute thoughts surrounding polar opposite groups and ignores median steps with unrealistic proportions. Ex: thinking in extremes. “I'm never going to lose weight because I am broken/my metabolism is broken” Selective filtration: the one affected eliminates all positive events and deflects the attention to only the negative. They take comfort in the negative. Only sees their failure and considers their life a mess. They revisit the scenarios in their life that they fear the most/feel the most negative. Time consuming and keeps you from seeing the small wins necessary to take you from step to step in the weight loss process. “When I was little I was bullied for being overweight and that affects my body image to this day. I will continue to be criticized for my body whether I do the criticizing or others do it. No matter what, I am constantly thinking about my body and how negative the experience is to live in my own skin”. Overgeneralization: the one negative incident will become the normal ending for all other situations. They think something bad will happen every time, over and over again. No agency over outcomes. “I've never been able to lose weight so why would I be able to now”. No hope. Demand and perfectionism: inflexible and strict ideas of how other people and things ought to be. “The journey should be going this way or I should lose weight every day or I should have more progress than I do”. They find something wrong in everything Consequence of this is feeling guilty and having low self esteem. Shame. They always fall short of their expectations. Leading to anger of the process. How to manage these cognitive disorders: Identify the thought, look for the alternative thinking, analyze the productivity of your thoughts. They are just habits of thinking patterns that generally get set when you are young in response to negative events. Just change the habit of the pattern to change the outcome of the thought. “Cognitive Restructuring”. Examine the evidence for the claim your thought makes and work backwards. Is this true? Am I being negative right now? Are these just big feelings right now? Find a new perspective/change your mind/gather more information. Ekkovision - Code LEXWant to sign up for the one on one coaching waiting list? https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdYJp_eLAlWdwP2acJ4rnRCx_POiyxC9ymbDCtA6R04x9i4YA/viewformFind me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caloriedeficit_/?hl=enTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lexbabb?lang=en

Special Announcement #1 Attend the Legendary Summer Intensive Featuring Drs. David Burns and Jill Levitt August 8 - 11. 2024 Learn Advanced TEAM-CBT skills Heal yourself, heal your patients First Intensive in 5 years! It will knock your socks off! Limited Seating--Act Fast Click for registration / more information! Sadly, this workshop is a training program which will be limited to therapists and mental health professionals and graduate students in a mental health field  Apologies, but therapists have complained when non-therapists have attended our continuing education training programs. This is partly because of the intimate nature of the small group exercises and the personal work the therapists may do during the workshop. Certified coaches and counselors are welcome to attend. Special Announcement #2 Here's some GREAT news! The Feeling Great App is now available in both app stores (IOS and Android) and is for therapists and the general public, and you can take a ride for free! Check it Today's Podcast Practical Philosophy Month Part 2, Do Humans have “Selves”? This is our second podcast in our Practical Philosophy Month. Last week, in our first episode, we focused on the “free will” question. As humans, we all feel like we have “free will,” but is it just an illusion, especially if all our actions are the result of the physical processes in our brains and the laws of the universe? The Bible certainly dealt with this in the book of Genesis, where we learn that the first humans, Adam and Eve, were given a wonderful Garden of Eden to live in, but they had to choose whether or not to obey God's rule NOT to eat the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. They chose to eat the fruit, implying that humans have free choice. But the philosophical arguments rage on. In today's podcast, we are joined by two beloved and brilliant colleagues, Drs. Matthew May and Fabrice Nye, as we explore the question of whether or not the “self” exists. We all feel like we have a “self,” but is this real or just an illusion? When you try to define your “self,” you may run into problems. For example, you might think that the “self” has to be the part of us that does not change from moment to moment, and is always ‘the same.” For example, I might think back on my childhood and feel convinced that I was the “same David Burns” then that I am now. And, if you are religious, you might also be comforted by the idea that your “self” is the same as your “soul,” and that you will therefore live on after you die. This concept of a “soul” is a core belief in many religions. But are we fooling ourselves? And what was the Buddha thinking about 2,500 years ago when we talked about enlightenment as resulting from the “Great Death” of the “self.” He seemed to be hinting that something wonderful can happen when you give up the idea that you have a “self.” In the original draft of my book, Feeling Great, I had a chapter on entitled, “Do you need a “self?” Join the Grateful Dead.” I tried to persuade readers that the existence of a “self” is nonsense, based on the philosophy of Ludwig Wittgenstein in his famous book, Philosophical Investigations. But readers found the chapter so upsetting that I decided, on their urging, to delete it from the manuscript, which I did. My goal is not to disturb people, but to provide a path to joy and to loving connections with others. But to this day, I still get emails from people asking me to offer that chapter, or to deal more deeply with this concept of the “self” vs “no self” in a podcast. So, here is my attempt today. I will start with my own take, and then summarize some of the views about the self that were expressed by Fabrice, Matt, and Rhonda during the show. Here's my thinking. There are many key questions you could ask about the concept of the “self?” including: Do we have a “self?” And if so, what is it? Does the first question even make sense? I'm sure you would agree that if a question doesn't make sense, then it isn't a “real” question, and there really isn't anything to talk about. Then we can just stop feeling frustrated and perplexed, and move on with our lives. That is the precise position that the late Wittgenstein would probably have taken. He stated that words have no ultimate or “true” meaning outside of the various contexts in which we use them in daily life. Most words have many meanings, because they are used in different ways, and you can find most of the meanings in any dictionary. So, if you think of the word, “game,” you will quickly realize that it does not have one “true” or essential meaning. It can mean a sports competition, with two teams competing against each, like soccer. But you can have two teams competing in some way other than a sport. And you don't even need two teams to have a “game.” For example, some games are played by one individual, like solitaire with a deck of cards. Or you can think about the “dating game,” or refer to “game birds,” or a “game boxer.” In short, there is not some single “correct” meaning to the word, “game.” Some uses have overlapping meanings, and some uses do not overlap at all with other uses. So, there is no point in trying to figure out if “games exist,” or what the ultimate or essential meaning is of the word, “game.” Now, how do we use the word, “self,” and what does it mean in each context? You might tell your child to behave themself. This simply means that they are misbehaving and will be punished if they don't behave more politely. You do not have to tell the child that their “self” also has to behave better, because that would be meaningless. We already told the child to change their behavior. You could ask friends, as I did this morning, if they are planning to join me on the Sunday hike. Two of them confirmed and said that “they” would join me today on our hike. I did have to ask them if they would be bringing their “selves,” because I just do not know what that would mean! They already told me they're coming to the hike. (They did come and we had a lot of fun.) In my extremely challenging freshman English class at Amherst College, we had to write two or three papers per week on odd topics. The teachers were relentlessly critical in their feedback, and would nearly always point out that we sounded incredibly phony and need to find our true voices, which came from our real selves, as opposed to the false fronts we often used to try to impress people. Almost every student got dumped on constantly! The professors weren't referring to some metaphysical “true selves.” They were just referring to the fact that our writing didn't sound natural, compelling, or vulnerable, and so forth. Our writing was, for the most part, an enormous turn-off. Most of us never could figure out quite what that class was all about, but it was useful as I became more sensitive to the “tone” or “voice” in any writing. I would have to concede that it was a sobering but helpful class. But they were not referring to some mystical “true self” we had to find. They just wanted us to stop writing in such a sucky way! So here is my point, which you might “not get.” When you keep the word, “self,” in the context of everyday life, it is obvious what it means, and it never refers to some metaphysical “thing” that we could “have” or “not have.” It is just a vague, abstract concept that is devoid of meaning when it's all by itself. A “self,” just like “free will,” is not some “thing” that we might, or might not, have. The question, “Does the self exist,” according to Wittgenstein (or his big fan David) has no meaning and so we can just ignore it. It's not a real question. It is, as Wittgenstein was fond of saying, “language that's out of gear.” Now, does this discussion have anything to do with emotional problems, or TEAM therapy? It absolutely does. That's because nearly all depression results from some version of “I'm not good enough,” including: I'm inferior. I'm a loser. I'm a “hopeless case.” I'm a failure. I'm unlovable. I'm a bad parent. I'm defective. And so forth. If you buy into these “self” condemning proclamations, thinking that they mean something, you'll probably feel depressed, ashamed, inadequate, hopeless, and more. As you can probably see, all these self-critical thoughts contain tons of cognitive distortions, like All-or-Nothing Thinking, Overgeneralization, Labeling, Mental Filtering, Emotional Reasoning, Self-Blame, Hidden Shoulds, and more And to put it in a nutshell, they ALL involve the belief that you have a “self” that's broken, or simply not “good enough.” And all of those statements are meaningless. My goal in therapy is NOT to persuade you that you ARE worthwhile, or “a winner,” or a “good” parent, but rather to show you how to let go of these meaningless but painful ways of belittling yourself. I might use techniques like Empathy, Positive Reframing, Explain the Distortions, Let's Define Terms, Be Specific, the Double Standard Technique, the Externalization of Voices, the Downward Arrow, and many more. That's because the VERY moment you suddenly “see” that these kinds of statements are both untrue and unfair, and you stop believing them, your feelings will instantly change. So, you could say that TEAM really IS a “Wittgensteinian” therapy. And when people ask me how to develop better self-esteem, I would not try to get them to discover how to have some magical and wonderful “thing” called self-esteem, because that concept is just as nonsensical as the concept of a “self.” You might say that “self-esteem,” if you want to use the term, is more about what you DO. And there are two things you can do if you want to change the way you feel. First, you can stop beating up on yourself with hostile criticisms like the bulleted statements listed above, and talk to yourself in the same encouraging way you might talk to a dear friend or loved one who was hurting. And second, you can treat yourself in a loving way, in just the same way you might treat your best friend who was coming for a visit. In other words, you can do nice things for yourself. The day my first book, “Feeling Good,” was finally published, my editor called me with some bad news. She told me that the publisher, William Morrow and Company, loses money on 9 out of 10 of the books they publish, so they decide which ones are most likely to sell, and those are the only ones they'll promote. The rest of the books go on a “loser list,” and the company does little or nothing to promote them. She said my book was #1 on their “loser list,” since the president of the company felt it had no commercial potential, and that very few people would be interest in a long book on depression. She added that the one thing they did do was to send my book to ten popular magazines for first serial rights. That means they get to publish an excerpt from your book as an article, so that stirs up some media interest in your book. Sadly, she said that all ten had turned them down. She said that I'd have to be in charge of any further marketing of my book, so I asked what I should do. She said to call all ten magazines right away and persuade them to change their minds. In a panic, I called them all, including Ladies' Home Journal, Reader's Digest, and on and on. Every magazine said the same thing—they did not want my book, had turned it down, had zero interest in it, and to please top calling since authors shouldn't call them and they considered it a form of phone harassment since they'd already made a decision. Yikes! No fun! When I jogged home from the train station that night, I shouted, “You're a loser, you're a failure.” That didn't sound so good so then I shouted, “No, you're not! You'll figure out how to make it happen! Just keep plugging away.” That sounded a lot more loving, so when I got home, I told my wife that the book at just been published and that I'd been turned down by all ten magazines for serial rights, and the publisher decided not to spend any money on marketing or advertising, so we needed to go out and celebrate. She why we would celebrate? I said, “You don't need to celebrate when you win, because you already feel great. But when you lose, that's when you need to celebrate, because you're feeling down. So, tonight we'll celebrate!” We went out for a fancy dinner and celebrated and had fun. And the rest, they say, is history. I just kept trying and getting turned down by newspapers, radio stations, television programs, and more. But eventually, the tide started to turn. To date, Feeling Good has sold more than 5 million copies and it achieved best-seller status. And the reason was that researchers discovered that the book actually had antidepressant properties, so excitement about it spread by word of mouth. I am hopeful that the new Feeling Great App will help even more people. Fabrice made some interesting and wise comments on the notion of the “self.” He said that the idea that we have a “self” is a sense that we nearly all have. Some people feel like the “self” that is located somewhere behind the eyes or in the middle of the head. But, he emphasizes, there is no such “thing” as a “self.” He has quoted someone who has “said it all,” but the statement only makes sense IF you “get it!” Here's the quote: “No Self? No Problem!” This is actually the title of a book by Chris Niebauer, PhD, and the subtitle is How Neuropsychology Is Catching Up to Buddhism. If you want to check it out, here's a link to it on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/No-Self-Problem-Neuropsychology-Catching/dp/1938289978 Fabrice emphasized that the concept of “self” is “nebulous.” He asked, “Is there a ‘David'?” He explained: You wouldn't be able to prove this in court. Well, you could show ID, but that would not be proof. Where does the information on the ID come from? Birth certificate? Who wrote the information on the birth certificate? Probably some doctor back in 1942. And where did he get that information from? Probably some caregiver said “Write ‘David' here.” Was that from a credible source? Not at all. That info was made up on the spot! Now, you can say that there's a “sense” of a David going around, and that there are some patterns that show signs of “David-ness,” but there is no “David.” Matt added that your body is not your “self.” When you break your arm, you don't say that you have broken a part of your “self.” You just say, “I broke my arm.” Rhonda raised the question of whether the “self” is just the same as “consciousness” or “awareness.” Someone in our group added that the “self” is what we DO, and not what we ARE. And, of course, what we are doing is constantly changing from moment to moment. My understanding of all of this is that once you let go of the notion that you have a “self,” you will no longer worry about whether or not you are “good enough” or “special,” or whoever. You can focus instead on living your life and solving the problems of daily living and appreciating the world around you. If you screw up, you can focus on what specific error you made, rather than obsessing about your inferior or defective “self.” You can actually welcome failure as just another teacher, so you can grow and learn, and simply accept your screw ups, or both. In fact, two of the most popular TEAM techniques for challenging the distorted thoughts in bullets above are called “Let's Define Terms” and “Be Specific.” These techniques are right out of Wittgenstein's playbook, and they are prominently featured in the “Learn” section of the new Feeling Great App. If you're feeling depressed, and thinking of yourself as a “loser” or as being “inferior” or even “worthless,” the goal is NOT to “become a ‘winner,” or more ‘worthwhile,' but rather to give up these notions as nonsensical. But once again, many people cannot “get it,” or “see it,” and that's where a caring and skillful therapist can help. Some people wrongly think that letting go of the notion that you could be “worthwhile” would mean a huge loss of something precious. Many people who don't yet “see” what we're trying to say are terrified of the “Great Death” because they think that giving up the notion that you have a “self” means giving up all hope for improvement, for joy, for intimacy, and so forth. But to my way of thinking, the truth is just the opposite. When your “self” dies, you and your world suddenly wake up and come to life. When you accept yourself and your world, exactly as they are right now, everything suddenly changes. Of course, that's a paradox. I believe that leading our patients to the “Great Death” of the “self” is like giving them the understanding and courage they need to throw some garbage in the trash instead of carrying the garbage around with them all the time! I hope some of this makes a little sense, but if not, don't worry about. Sometimes, it takes a little time before you suddenly “see it!” Thanks for listening today. We love all of you! Rhonda, Fabrice, Matt, and David

Special Announcement #1 Attend the Legendary Summer Intensive Featuring Drs. David Burns and Jill Levitt August 8 - 11. 2024 Learn Advanced TEAM-CBT skills Heal yourself, heal your patients First Intensive in 5 years! It will knock your socks off! Limited Seating--Act Fast Click for registration / more information! Sadly, this workshop is a training program which will be limited to therapists and mental health professionals and graduate students in a mental health field  Apologies, but therapists have complained when non-therapists have attended our continuing education training programs. This is partly because of the intimate nature of the small group exercises and the personal work the therapists may do during the workshop. Certified coaches and counselors are welcome to attend. Special Announcement #2 Here's some GREAT news! The Feeling Great App is now available in both app stores (IOS and Android) and is for therapists and the general public, and you can take a ride for free! Check it Today's Podcast Practical Philosophy Month Part 1, The Free Will Problem Welcome to Practical Philosophy month. For the next five weeks, we will discuss some of the most popular and challenging problems in philosophy, such as these: Do human beings have free will? Or is free will just an illusion? Do human beings have a “self?” Or is the “self” just another illusion? Is it possible to be more or less “worthwhile?” Are some humans “better” or “worse” than others? Does God exist? Is the universe “real” or “one”? What's the meaning of life? What is “self-esteem”? How does it differ from self-confidence? What's the difference between conditional and unconditional self-esteem? What's the difference between self-esteem and self-acceptance? What do you have to do to experience joy and feelings of worthwhileness? We will try to complete the list in five weeks, so some weeks we may include more than one topic, since many of these topics are related to one another. Rhonda and David will be joined by our beloved Dr. Matt May, a regular on our Ask David episodes, and for the first and second sessions we will be joined by our beloved Dr. Fabrice Nye, who created and hosted the Feeling Good Podcasts several years ago. Each week, you will also hear about the linkage between these philosophical dilemmas, and emotional problems, like depression, anxiety, and relationship conflicts. For example, nearly all depressed individuals believe that they aren't sufficiently “worthwhile.” I see my goal as a psychiatrist not as helping people feel “more worthwhile,” but rather showing people, if interested, how to give up this notion entirely and become free of certain kinds of damaging judgments of the “self” and others. You will also learn how these types of philosophical problems continue to play a large role in psychiatry and psychology, including the DSM5 diagnostic system. For example, is the diagnosis of “Generalized Anxiety Disorder” a true “mental disorder” that you could “have” or “not have?” And might some or most of the so-called “mental disorders” listed in the DSM be based on faulty philosophical / logical thinking? And if many or most of the “mental disorders” are based on goofy, faulty thinking, is there a more productive and effective way to think about most emotional problems? And how did we get into this mess in the first place? Worrying certainly exists, and we all worry at times. But how much or how often do you have to worry before you develop or have a “mental disorder” called “Generalized Anxiety Disorder” that can be diagnosed like any medical illness and treated with drugs? Or is “Generalized Anxiety Disorder” (and hundreds of other “mental disorders in the DSM” based on a certain kind of nonsensical thinking? And if so, why? What is the goofy, faulty thinking in the DSM? And are there some “mental disorders” that are valid and real? We HAVE touched on all of these themes in previous podcasts, but I thought it would be nice to put them all in one place and bring in a variety of “solutions,” controversies, and experts. I David, will often represent (hopefully, and to the best of my ability) the thinking of Ludwig Wittgenstein, as expressed in his famous book, Philosophical Investigation, published in 1950 following his death. That book consists of a series of numbered brief essays (a few paragraphs each) that were based on notes found in a metal box under his dormitory room at Cambridge University. He'd written these in preparation for his weekly seminars in his dormitory room. Wittgenstein, although now widely regarded as one of the greatest philosophers of all time, did not think he knew enough to teach in a classroom. In fact, because of his feelings of depression and self-doubt, he sadly never tried to publish anything when he was alive. Wittgenstein's philosophy also played an indirect but significant role in the evolution of several modern psychotherapies. His philosophy created new ways of thinking that gave rise to the work of Dr. Albert Ellis, the famous New York psychologist who created Rational Emotive Therapy during the 1950s. Ellis emphasized that the “Should Statements” that trigger so much guilt, shame, depression, anxiety, and rage are based on illogical thinking. He might often say, “Where is it written that people or the world “should” be the way you want them to be?” Of course, this idea actually traces back to the Greek Stoic philosophers like Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius. Wittgenstein's thinking also seems to have played a role in the thinking of Dr. Aaron Beck, who adapted the work of Ellis and called his version of the “Cognitive Therapy.” Beck emphasized many thinking errors, like All-or-Nothing Thinking, and Overgeneralization, that trigger depression, anxiety, and more. Sadly, Wittgenstein struggled with severe depression and loneliness throughout his life, and three of his four brothers tragically died by suicide. Wittgenstein also had prolonged periods of time when he considered suicide. It is also sad that he did not know how to apply his brilliant philosophical breakthroughs to his own negative thinking, but that application of his work did not develop at the time he was still alive. Part of Wittgenstein's depression was related, I believe, to the fact that very few people, including the most famous philosophers of Europe, could understand his thinking when he was alive. From time to time, I think he glimpsed the enormous importance of his work; but I believe that he also had prolonged moments of self-doubt when he thought his work was of little value at best. To be as correct as possible, Wittgenstein did write a manuscript called Tractatus Logico Philosophicus as a young man, although he never tried to publish it. He wrote it when he was a prisoner of war. He thought this book solved all the problems of philosophy, which had plagued him since he was a child, and he felt great relief. He sent a copy of his manuscript to Bertrand Russell, who was a famous British philosopher. Bertrand Russell was incredibly impressed with the Tractatus and distributed it to many European philosophers. Bertrand Russell thought it might be the greatest book in the history of philosophy, and a number of the 20th century philosophical movements including Logical Positivism, were inspired by that book. However, Wittgenstein left the field of philosophy, thinking that his work was done, and that he'd found the solutions he was looking for. He tried teaching grammar school for a while, but was fired because he became frustrated and violent toward some of his students. He also tried to survive as a fisher in a Norwegian fishing town, but was not successful at that, either, because he didn't know much about fishing, much less supporting yourself through fishing. One day, he learned that a brilliant Swedish economics student had found a flaw in his Tractatus, and his inner turmoil about the puzzling problems of philosophy flared up again. He decided to return to the study of philosophy. He applied to be an advanced undergraduate at Cambridge University, but when someone in the admissions office spotted his application, they recognized his name and showed his application to Bertrand Russell, who had been wondering what had become of the young man who once sent him such a brilliant manuscript. Russell, who was the chair of the department of philosophy, said to being Wittgenstein to his office immediately for an interview. Russell explained that he would have to reject Wittgenstein's application to be an undergraduate at Cambridge University. Deeply disappointed, Wittgenstein asked why. Russell told him it was because he was already recognized as the greatest philosopher of the 20th century. Bertrand proposed that if Wittgenstein would agree to skip college and graduate school, they would immediately award him a PhD for the manuscript he'd sent to Russell years earlier. Russell also offered him a full professor ship in the department of philosophy. Wittgenstein protested and said he needed to study philosophy again, because of the error in Tractatus, and that he didn't know anything, and definitely could not teach in a classroom. Bertrand Russell insisted, and they finally struck a deal where Wittgenstein would agree to be a professor of philosophy but all he would have to do was to have a conversation session with anybody who wanted to talk to him at his dormitory room once a week. Wittgenstein accepted and met for years with students and famous philosophers who came from around Europe to crowd into his dormitory room for his weekly seminars, and he began to shape a radically different philosophical approach from the one he'd described earlier in his Tractatus. He was determined to find a new way to solve all the problems of philosophy. And, to my way of thinking, along with those few who really understand him, he was successful. But he was often frustrated because, so few understood him. This was unfortunate, because what he was saying was incredibly simple and basic, and it was pretty similar to, if not identical to, the thinking of the Buddha 2500 years earlier. The Buddha apparently had the same problem—almost nobody could understand what he was trying to say when he was still alive. They couldn't “get it” when he was talking about the so-called “Great Death” of the “self,” or talking about the path to enlightenment. The Buddha's frustration resulted from the exact same problem Wittgenstein encountered 2500 years later. The Buddha was saying something that was extremely simple, obvious, and basic—and yet, it was rumored that of his more than 100,000 followers when he was alive, only three actually “got it” and experienced enlightenment. When I read Philosophical Investigations my senior year in college, it was rumored that only seven people in the world understood what Wittgenstein was trying to say. Wittgenstein's dream was that philosophy students would “get” his thinking and give up philosophy when they realized that most if not all philosophical problems are sheer nonsense. He wanted them to do something practical and real in the world instead of studying philosophy. He was verry disappointed when his favorite student, Norman Malcolm (one of the seven who “got it,”) pursued an illustrious career teaching philosophy in America at Cornell University. I always wished I could have known Wittgenstein when he was alive, so I could have told him this: I loved you, too, and I got it after several months of confusion, trying to understand your Philosophical Investigations, but eventually understood it with the help of your student, Norman Malcolm. His book about you was very inspiring. And that's why I left philosophy for something more practical in the world. I decided at the last minute to go to medical school to become a psychiatrist instead of philosophy graduate school. Hopefully, I am doing something that you might be proud of! But oddly enough, your thinking has also influenced my approach to people who feel depressed and worthless. They are also under a kind of destructive “enchantment,” thinking that there is some such “thing” as a more or less worthwhile human being! And this is a major cause of depression and anxiety and feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. I wonder if you, Wittgenstein, ever felt that you weren't “good enough” when you were feeling down. hopeless and suicidal? I sure wish I could have helped you with that! If you want to understand Wittgenstein's work, the best book in my opinion is Norman Malcolm's moving and affectionate tribute to his beloved teacher, entitled “Ludwig Wittgenstein: A Memoir.” It's a short moving tribute to his beloved teacher, and tears go down my cheeks every time I read it, or even think about it. If you ever visit my office here at home, you'll find that memoir proudly sitting on my bookshelf, with a handsome photo of Wittgenstein on the cover. Toward the end of his life, Wittgenstein appears to have become more or less homeless, and he died from prostate cancer. His doctor said he could live in his home, where he was befriended by the doctor's wife in his final days. His dying words were, “Tell them that I had a wonderful life.” He died on April 29, 1951, just a few hours before my wife was born in Palo Alto, California. Surprisingly, she is the only person I've ever met who understood Wittgenstein's thinking entirely the first time I explained it to her. She “already knew” what Wittgenstein, the greatest philosophical genius of the 20th century, spent a lifetime figuring out! Reincarnation is pretty “out there,” and fairly silly, to my way of thinking, but sometimes it can be fun to think about it! Here is my understanding of how the thinking of the “later Wittgenstein” actually developed. His first book, which is nearly impossible to understand, was called the Tractatus Logico Philosophicus. It is a series of numbered propositions, which he compared to climbing up a ladder, rung by rung, as you read the book until you got to the roof at the top of the ladder. Then you could throw your ladder away and give up philosophical thinking, since he thought his book contained the solution to all the problems of philosophy that had tormented him since childhood, as mentioned previously. The philosophy of language in the Tractatus is based on the thinking of Aristotle and Plato, who thought that the function of language was to name things that exist in the real world. Plato's idea was that our real world consists of imperfect examples of a “Platonic Reality” which consisted of “perfect” representations of everything. So, for example, Plato believed there could be a perfect “table,” a perfect “lamp,” and so forth. In other words, he thought there was an ideal essence to the concept of a “table.” And, I suppose, there might also be a “perfect” version of you! The early Wittgenstein also thought that the logic inherent in our sentences reflected the logic inherent in an external reality. If that doesn't make much sense to you, join the club! But that's kind of what Plato and Aristotle were promoting, at least in my (David's) understanding. When Wittgenstein's Tractatus was debunked, he was devastated, and desperately wanted to find another way to solve the problems of philosophy, since they started tormenting him again. It was much like a relapse of OCD or some other emotional problem. In fact, he thought of philosophy as a kind of mental illness that needed treatment. Here's an example of the types of philosophical problems that tormented him. Do human beings have free will? Do we have a “self?” Is the universal “real?” Of course, we THINK we have free will, and it SEEMS like we make “free decisions” all day long, but is this just an illusion? For example, some people would argue that we cannot have “free will” because we “have to” follow the laws of science that govern everything, including how the brain works. So, since we “have to” do what we are doing at every moment of every day, we must not have free will! Here is an argument that we do NOT have “free will.” When a powerful storm or hurricane destroys a portion of a city, and people die, we see this as a tragedy, but we don't get angry at the hurricane because it does have “free will.” It is just obeying the laws of physics that govern the forces of wind, air pressure, heat and cooling, and so forth. A storm cannot behave in any other way. So, the argument goes, we are also following the laws that govern the functioning of our bodies and brains, and so we cannot do other than what we do, so we, too, have no “free will.” We THINK we are acting freely but it is an illusion, so our brains are obeying the laws of the universe at every moment! For hundreds of years philosophers have struggled with this puzzle, and many people still wrestle with this problem today. It was one of the problems that drew me to philosophy. Impractical for sure, but still tantalizing. Another way to express the free will puzzle is via religious thinking. I was taught when I was growing up that God is omnipotent (all powerful), omnipresent (present everywhere) and omniscient (all knowing.) So, God knows the past, present, and future. And if God knows the future, then God knows what we will do at every moment of every day, and we are helpless to do otherwise. Therefore, we have no “free will,” even though we “think” we do! This free will problem can definitely be unsettling, with troubling moral consequences. If we do not “free will,” then are serial killers really responsible for, or guilty, or accountable for their actions? If we do not have free will, then wouldn't that give us license to do whatever we want whenever we want? Clever arguments for sure! We may “feel” like we have the freedom to do whatever we want at almost any moment of any day, but are we fooling ourselves and living in some gigantic hoax, or illusion? Are we total slaves with the delusion that we are actually acting “freely?” How do we resolve this problem? Well, one day Wittgenstein was walking past a soccer game at the park, and the soccer ball hit him on the head. He wasn't hurt, but had the thought, “What if the function of language is NOT to name things (like trees, or lamps, etc.) that exist in some “external reality,” like Plato and Aristotle thought? What if language actually functions as a series of “language games,” with rules, just like the game of soccer? Then the meaning of any words would simply be the many ways the word is used in different real world situations. In fact, that's what you find in the dictionary when you look up the meaning of a word. The dictionary doesn't ever give you some “correct” or ”pure” meaning, since most words have many meanings. This would be the opposite of the philosophy of Aristotle and Plato who argued that there were “true” meanings for every word, noun, or concept. What if, instead, words had NO true or essential meanings, and their meanings were simply embedded in the context in which they are used in ordinary, everyday language? If so, this might mean that philosophical problems emerge when we try to pull words out of their ordinary meanings, which are always obvious, and put them into some metaphysical realm where philosophers argue about “ultimate truth.” Let's say we wanted to find out if humans have “free will.” Well, not being sure if there is such a “thing” as “free will,” we could look up “free” and “will” in the dictionary. (I know this sounds incredibly obvious and almost ridiculous.) What does “free” mean? Well, we could talk about the many ways we use “free.” Political freedom means that in some countries you cannot contradict the leader (the dictator) without the danger of being thrown in prison or even murdered. But in other countries, you are, In fact, free to express your own ideas and opinions, without fear of punishment. Free also means getting something without having to pay for it, like a seventh bottle of soda is free at the local grocery store if you purchase a six pack. Free can also mean “available.” I am starting up my Sunday hikes again, and I might say, “If you are free this Sunday morning, meet at my front door at 9 and we'll go for a hike and have a dim sum feast afterwards at a Chinese restaurant on Castro Street in Mountain View, California, Now notice that when you talk about “free will” you have taken this word, “free,” out of the familiar contexts in which we find it, and given it some type of metaphysical “meaning.” But in this metaphysical, philosophical arena, it has no meaning. So, instead of trying to “solve” the so-called “free will” problem, we can dismiss it as nonsensical, and ignore it as having no practical meaning, and move on with our lives. We can say, “I just don't understand that problem! I don't know what you're talking about when you ask the general question of whether we have something called ‘free will.'” That either works for you, or it doesn't work for you! Your choice. It does work for me, but it took me months of thinking until I suddenly “got it.” My way of describing this philosophical error is “nounism.” You think that nouns always refer to things that could “exist” or “not-exist,” just like Plato and Aristotle thought. So, you ponder and try to figure out if this notion of “free will” exists or does not exist. But it's arguably a meaningless question. That's why I say, and Wittgenstein might say, I have no idea what you're talking about. Today we'll discuss the free will problem and how it might relate to our field of psychotherapy. Next week, we'll deal with another thorny problem: Do we have a “self?” Or is that also just some kind of illusion? I (David) wrote these show notes before the show, and we have had fairly extensive email exchanges, with a variety of points of view on whether or not we have something we can call “free will.” First, I'll put a great email by Matt, followed by a comment by Fabrice. Here's Matt's email first: Subject: Re: question Yes, that's getting very close to what I'm trying to communicate. I don't believe you are 'slow' or 'super lame', either. In fact, quite the opposite. I suspect I'm failing to do an adequate job of disarming your claims that 'free will' and 'self' are words taken out-of-context and, therefore, can't be shown to exist or not-exist. I apologize, as I am pretty excited about the potential to help people, suffering with self-blame and other-blame, by realizing that we and others don't have a 'self' or 'free will'. I believe we have a brain that makes decisions and creates experiences, including the experience of having a 'self' and 'free will'. I believe that the experience of 'making' a decision is an illusion, as is the idea of a static, unchanging 'self' that controls decision-making. I asked you to pick a movie and you said, 'Green Mile'. You acknowledged that this movie title simply 'popped into my head'. That's correct. Your 'self' didn't control what you selected, using 'free will'. Your brain just came up with that movie title. There was no 'self' that made a decision to choose that word. I agree that we have a brain which is incredibly powerful. I'm claiming that we don't have an auxiliary 'self', with extra super powers, controlling our brain. We can make decisions, but we don't have 'free will', meaning, the ability to control those decisions. I do think you have some resistance to seeing through the illusions of 'self' and 'free will', all of which say awesome things about you, e.g. morality and justice. I'm not trying to convince you, one way or another, and I don't expect to. I'm more interested in the listening audience, as many people are significantly relieved when they realize that we are more the victims of our biology and circumstance rather than defective 'selves' lacking 'willpower'. To put a slightly finer point on the subject, when people say they have 'free will', they don't mean that 'decisions are made'. Obviously, decisions are made. You decided to keep reading this email, for example. Or you didn't. I'm not sure. Either way, a decision was made. When people say they have 'free will', they are saying that they (really, their 'self') are/is free to decide whether to continue reading this email, and that this power goes above and beyond what their brain is doing, according to the laws of physics. I am claiming that this is a ridiculous and dangerous thought, for which there is no evidence. You're saying these terms haven't been defined. I'm pointing out that they already have been, intuitively, by anyone who thinks, 'I shouldn't have done that', or 'they shouldn't have done that'. These thoughts require a belief that they 'could have' done something different, that they had free will. Aside from rage and guilt, let's examine the narcissism and excessive sense of confidence a patient might have, if they believe that they can simply 'decide', through sheer 'willpower', not to beat up on themselves anymore. Or a patient who believes they can simply 'decide' to always use the 5-Secrets, rather than criticize and blame. Can they? I've never seen that happen. That's why I assign homework. I know that the goal is to rewire the brain so they can feel and perform better, later. We can't simply decide to feel good all the time. We all drift in-and-out of enlightenment. If we want to increase the likelihood that we will be able to set aside self-criticism or communicate more effectively, we have to practice new thoughts and behaviors. If we do, we will develop greater skills at defeating negative thoughts and communicating effectively. Otherwise, our brains will do, in the future, what they are programmed to do, now. It's because we lack 'free will', that we must do homework. Similarly, you couldn't simply 'decide' to be the world's best ping-pong player. You realized you would have to work hard to re-wire your brain, if you wanted to have a chance at that. Let's use the murderer/cat example: A cat tortures and kills mice for the same reasons that a murderer does: their brains are programmed to do so. Murderers don't have a defective 'self' that is failing to express 'free will' adequately, when they murder. They're doing precisely what the atomic structure of their brain caused them to do, according to the laws of physics, in that moment, when presented with those precise stimuli. We don't have to judge or punish the cat or the murderer's 'self' and insist they should have used their 'free will'. We can accept that neither creature had the ability to decide differently from what their brain decided, in that moment. That is where the therapeutic element of this realization comes into play. I think it's important on a lot of levels, to stop blaming cats for being cats and murderers for being murderers. Similarly, if a patient doesn't want to do homework, will it do any good to blame them and think they're bad and should decide differently? No, it helps to accept them where they are, and to accept ourselves where we are, with open hands. Realizing nobody has a 'self' operating their brain and making decisions that are better than their brains' decisions doesn't mean we have to let all the murderers go or trust our cat with a new mouse companion. We can still be aware that their brains are programmed to murder. We would still be motivated to do whatever is necessary to protect society and mice. The difference is the attitude towards the murderer. We aren't trying to 'punish' or 'get vengeance' but to protect and, instead of 'labeling' them as having a 'bad self' or even being a 'murderer', but someone who has murdered and, left to their own devices, likely to do so again.  Instead of judging and demanding vengeance, we would see a murderer as the victim of their biology and environment. Instead of condemning them as permanently evil and bad, we could recognize that their brain is currently wired to do bad things and they might still learn new ways to interact with others. Perhaps they're not hopeless cases, after all. From the other side, if I ever committed murder, and sentenced to death, I wouldn't want to be feeling defective, thinking what a bad self I have and guilty/ashamed for not flexing my 'free will' in the heat of the moment. Instead, I might feel a sense of relief, purpose and meaning, that I was protecting others by being put to death. Alright, enough out of me! Thanks, Matt And now, the response from Fabrice: Matt's thinking is exactly in line with mine. I don't know if the topic came up in your discussion, but some people argue that actually someone could have done something differently than they did, because there is some randomness in Nature. But that argument doesn't hold water because even if the decision “made” by their brain is different, it has nothing to do with their will but only with the Heisenberg principle. Cheers! Fabrice Nye fabrice@life.net David's wrap up comment. Matt and Fabrice have quite a different view of “free will” and the “self.” They are arguing, very thoughtfully and persuasive, that we do not “have” a “self” or “free will.” People have been involved in this debate, as I've mentioned, for hundreds of years, taking one side or another. My own thinking is different, and reflects my understanding of Wittgenstein's thinking. They have take these words out of the contexts in which they exist in everyday language, (which is a huge temptation) and involved in a debate about abstract concepts which have no meaning. Very few people, it seems, were able to grasp this idea when Wittgenstein was alive, or even today. So, if what I'm saying makes no sense to you, be comforted, since it seems likely that 99% of the people reading this, or listening to the show, will agree with you! And that's still a puzzle to me. It is not clear to me why so many people still cannot “see” or “get” this idea that words do not have any pure or essential “meaning” outside of the context of everyday use of language. The best psychotherapy example I can use is the fact that nearly all depressed individuals are trying to figure out, on some abstract or philosophical level, whether they are “worthwhile” or “good enough,” or whatever. This seems to be a “real” problem, and so they believe that they are not sufficiently worthwhile. This belief can be so convincing that many people commit suicide, out of a sense of hopelessness and self-hatred. But there is not such thing as a human being who is more or less “worthwhile.” Of course, your actions can be more or less worthwhile at any moment, and we can evaluate or judge our specific behaviors. Yesterday, we had our first recording session in a video studio we have set up for our Feeling Great App. We had a lot of fun and recorded some (hopefully) interesting stories we'll publish on our two new YouTube channels. I really appreciated the colleagues who made this possible. It was a relief for me because I tend to have performance anxiety, which impairs my ability to speak naturally and with emotion. But this time, there was no anxiety at all, so it was fun. Did this make me or my colleagues more worthwhile human beings? No! But it did show that we'd become a bit more effective and communicating messages that will trigger healing and understanding in our fans, and hope that includes you! When you “see” this, perhaps for the first time, it can be incredibly liberating, since you no longer have the need to have a “self” that's “special” or worthwhile. And, as some of you know, my beloved teacher and cat, Obie, taught me that when you no longer need to be “special,” life becomes special. When your “self” dies, you inherit the world! There's no funeral, only a celebration! Feel free to contact us with your thoughts, ideas and questions! Thank you for listening today! Rhonda, Matt, Fabrice, and David

Today, we're exploring how our thoughts can sometimes trick us into seeing the world in a negative light. We're uncovering cognitive distortions—those sneaky ways our minds twist reality based on past experiences and beliefs.Join me as we uncover common distortions like All or Nothing thinking, Overgeneralization, Negative Mental Filters, Labeling, and Catastrophizing—ways of thinking that can keep us stuck in negativity without us even realizing it. Together, we'll learn how to spot these patterns, challenge them, and ultimately reframe our thoughts to lead more positive, fulfilling lives. If you're ready to take control of your mindset and break free from these mental traps, hit play and let's explore together!Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you're committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here

// OUTLINE //- “What is money?” Intro - Introducing Saifedean Ammous and Yaron Brook- Clarifying Robert's view on the topic - The nature and history of the conflict :Yaron's opening statement  - What is the conflict about? Saifedean's opening statement  - Yaron's response - Saifedean's response - The nature and origin of Zionism and its role in the conflict: Saifedean's statement  - Yaron's response - Saifedean's response- The role of money and central banking in the conflict: Saifedean's statement - The role of money and central banking in the conflict: Yaron's statement  - How to ensure peace and security for civilian populations: Saifedean's statement - How to ensure peace and security for civilian populations: Yaron's statement - Saifedean's response- Yaron's response - Saifedean's perspective - Yaron's perspective - The Conflict through the Lens of Individual Private Property:Saifedean's statement - The Conflict through the Lens of Individual Private Property:Yaron's  statement - Saifedean's comment - Yaron's reply- Group Identities ,Overgeneralization and Moral:Saifedean's statement - Group Identities ,Overgeneralization and Moral:Yaron's  statement - Saifedean's reply- Who is really behind this conflict?:Saifedean's  statement- Who is really behind this conflict?:Yaron's  statement - Saifedean's response - Yaron's response - Saifedean's final statement // PODCAST //Podcast Website: https://whatismoneypodcast.com/Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-what-is-money-show/id1541404400Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/25LPvm8EewBGyfQQ1abIsE?RSS Feed: https://feeds.simplecast.com/MLdpYXYI // SUPPORT THIS CHANNEL //Bitcoin: 3D1gfxKZKMtfWaD1bkwiR6JsDzu6e9bZQ7Sats via Strike: https://strike.me/breedlove22Sats via Tippin.me: https://tippin.me/@Breedlove22Dollars via Paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/RBreedloveDollars via Venmo: https://account.venmo.com/u/Robert-Breedlove-2The "What is Money?" Show Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=32843101 // WRITTEN WORK //Medium: https://breedlove22.medium.com/Substack: https://breedlove22.substack.com/ // SOCIAL //Breedlove Twitter: https://twitter.com/Breedlove22WiM? Twitter: https://twitter.com/WhatisMoneyShowLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/breedlove22/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/breedlove_22/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@breedlove22All My Current Work: https://vida.page/breedlove22

Featured Photo is Dr. Amy Huberman The Amy Story, Part 2: The Joys of Doing the Laundry! Amy and her exuberant son, Sasha, and wife, Alena Last week you heard Part 1 of the Amy session, which included T = Testing, E = Empathy, and A = Assessment of Resistance. Today, you will hear Part 2 of Amy's exciting journey from perfectionism to JOY. M = Methods We used a variety of Methods to help Amy challenge her negative thoughts, starting with the first, “I'm failing my patients.” We started with Identify and Explain the Distortions, then went to the Double Standard Technique, and ended up with the Externalization of Voices. As a reminder, you can see Amy's  Daily Mood Log at the start of her session here.. As an exercise, see how many distortions, or thinking errors, you can find in her first Negative Thought, “I'm failing my patients,“ using the list of cognitive distortions on the bottom of her Daily Mood Log. You'll find the list of the ten cognitive distortions if you click here.  After you've identified each distortion, see if you can explain two things about it: Why is this distortion in Amy's thought unrealistic and misleading? Why might it be incredibly unfair and hurtful? You'll find my list of the distortions in this thought at the end of the show notes. But don't look until you've made your list! These techniques we used were effective , as you'll hear on the podcast, especially the Externalization of Voices. You'll hear us doing role-reversals with Amy, and the method that “won the day” was the CAT, or Counter-Attack Technique, combined with the Acceptance Paradox. The Acceptance Paradox involves finding truth in a negative thought with a sense of peace or even humor. The CAT involves confronting the hostile voice in your head and tell it to go fly a kite, or other gentle but firm message You'll enjoy seeing some striking changes in Amy, as her tears and feelings of intense self-doubt are suddenly transformed into joy and laughter. Those changes created strong feelings of joy for Jill and me as well. We both have incredibly fondness and admiration for Amy, and feel great joy as well when she feels joy. Here are Amy's final scores at the end of the session. Emotions % Now % Goal % After Sad, blue, depressed, down, unhappy 80 25 0 Anxious, worried, panicky, nervous, frightened 80 20 0 Guilty, remorseful, bad, ashamed 90 5 0 Worthless, inadequate, defective, incompetent 100 15 5 Lonely, unloved, unwanted, rejected, alone       Embarrassed, foolish, humiliated, self-conscious       Hopeless, discouraged, pessimistic, despairing 90 5 0 Frustrated, stuck, thwarted, defeated 80 5 5 Angry, mad, resentful, annoyed, irritated, upset, furious       Other         The Joyous Dr. Amy! Sudden and dramatic change is pretty trippy, but it isn't much good if it doesn't last. And it won't! Negative thoughts and feelings will always return, because no one can be happy all the time. That's why some relapse prevention training and ongoing practice and refinement of what you've learned can be vitally important. In our follow-up session with Amy one week later she said she'd felt way better during the week, but did, in fact, have some relapses and had to challenge her negative thoughts again. She'd been helped a lot by the idea that it was okay to fail, to seek consultation, and learn, and that failing with patients gave us endless opportunities to learn and grow as therapists. And it was also okay not to have to listen so intently to the attempts of the negative self to put her down. In fact, our misery almost never results from our failures, but from telling ourselves that we “shouldn't” ever fail, and from punishing ourselves mercilessly when we do. One of her most exciting statements in our follow-up session was that she discovered that even something as humble as putting the dirty clothes into the washing machine could be a joyous experience without that negative voice in her brain constantly hollering at her that she wasn't good enough! Teaching points It was hard, at first, for Amy to “see” how distorted and unfair her negative thoughts were. She is an extremely intelligent, accomplished, and beloved colleague, and yet most of us cannot “see” or really “grasp” that we can be pretty mean to when we're feeling down and anxious. I have often said that feeling anxious and depressed is a lot like being in a deep hypnotic trance, telling yourself and believing things that just aren't true. For example, Amy is doing beautiful work with the great majority of her patients, and is doing the exact same thing with the patients who are responding beautifully as she is with the two who are stuck. So, when she tells herself she's a failure, she's clearly involved in All-or-Nothing Thinking. In other words, she's thinking that if she's not perfect, she's a complete failure and a fraud. She also seems to have many Hidden Shoulds (e.g. I SHOULD be able to help every single patient quickly) and Mental Filtering (focusing only on the negatives) and Discounting the Positive (ignoring the positives, as if they didn't count.) The techniques that were the most helpful for Amy were Positive Reframing: that's where we pointed out the positive aspects of Amy's Negative Thoughts and feelings. The Externalization of Voices with Self-Defense, the Acceptance Paradox, and the CAT. Be Specific: Amy was Labeling herself as a “fraud” and a “failure,” and she was Overgeneralizing from two patients to her entire self and career. Jill emphasized Be Specific. In other words, focus on and accept what's real. What's real is that Amy has been valiantly struggling to help two patients who are stuck. She can just accept that, and get some consultation and guidance from a colleague, which would probably help her get unstuck. So, instead of labelling yourself as “a failure” and “a fraud,” which are just mean, vague words, you can tell yourself that you have a specific problem—in Amy's case, getting stuck with two very anxious patients. Then you can focus on getting some help in solving that specific problem—for example, by seeking consultation from a colleague. Jill said that's what she does when she gets stuck. I used to do that every week, especially when I was first learning cognitive therapy. Getting stuck, then, can simply be an opportunity for growth and learning cool new tools. If we never got stuck, we'd never learn anything new! The very moment Amy stopped believing her negative thoughts, her feelings instantly and dramatically changed. That change happened suddenly, over the course of about 30 seconds, and you can SEE it in her face and hear it in her voice. But it won't last forever! Jill pointed out that the belief at the root of Amy's problem was Perfectionism, and the idea that “I should know exactly what to do with all of my patients.” That may be a pleasant fantasy, and it might even motivate us to work hard and achieve, but it's also a recipe for misery! Follow-up Rapid recovery is great, but will it stick? You will hear excerpts from our brief follow-up session one week later for Relapse Prevention Training. The idea is that none of us can feel happy forever, and negative thoughts will creep back into our minds sooner or later. However, you can anticipate this and prepare for it by challenging your negative thoughts with the same techniques that helped you the first time you improved. That's because the details will usually be different every time you're upset, but the pattern of self-critical negative thoughts will usually be the same. And this DID happen to Amy, just as it will happen to you. But this was an opportunity for her to deepen her understanding of perfectionism and to refine and enhance her ability to respond to her negative thoughts. During the weeks following the recording of this podcast, Amy found that she experienced some resistance to using the counterattack technique. She began to feel like she was relating to her perfectionism as an enemy and attacking it—and in doing so, was discounting all the good in it, including the values that came shining through during the Positive Reframing. She found that a better fit for her, instead of the counterattack, was to disarm her perfectionistic thoughts by seeing the truth in them. In fact, you could view this as yet another form of acceptance. When she did this, the perfectionistic voice in her head naturally backed down and gave her the space to do what matters to her unencumbered by self-criticism. I thought it was cool when she described experiencing waves of joy while doing the laundry—an activity that had always felt like a chore to her before, when it was accompanied by thoughts like “I should have finished this laundry days ago.”   She discovered that without beating up on herself, something as humble as doing the laundry could be incredibly rewarding! After our follow-up meeting, I got a lovely email from Amy about the joys of giving up the need for perfection, and sent this follow-up reply to Amy: Thank you, Amy, you are the BEST! I did a four-day intensive in San Antonio years ago with a small group of about 25 therapists. As you know, I always BS and say “As the Buddha so often said . . . “ followed by something goofy or quasi-mystical or whatever, and most people seem to kind of like that and see it as fun or humorous or whatever. Well, I was doing that at the workshop, and at one of the breaks a woman approached me and said she was interested in my Buddhist remarks because she had been raised as a Buddhist in an Asian country where Buddhism is prominent. I panicked and thought I'd been found out and exposed as a fraud. She went on to say that their family gave up Buddhism, however, and she was sad. I asked why they gave up Buddhism, and she explained that her mother suffered from severe depression, and the Buddhists taught that's because you think you “need” things, and if you're a good Buddhist you won't think that way and you won't ever suffer. Since she suffered, she felt like a failure as a Buddhist, so the family gave up Buddhism. I told her that she might not be aware that there are actually two schools of Buddhism. There's low-level Buddhism and high-level Buddhism. In low-level Buddhism, you're not allowed to want or need anything, and you're not allowed to suffer. That's sounds like that was the school of Buddhism your family was raised in. But there's another type of high-level Buddhism. In high level Buddhism you're allowed to suffer and struggle, and screw up, and fail, and all sorts of stuff. She got animated and said, “I didn't know that. Thank you so much. You've restored my faith in Buddhism, and I can't wait to tell my mother!” Aside from my being elderly and half-demented, I hope that makes some sense in light of our work together with Jill! So, if you need any translation or explanation, Amy, I'm inviting you to join the high-level Buddhist therapist group where you're allowed to screw up with some of your patients, or even many! Warmly, david Subsequent Follow-Up I forgot to tell you what happened to Amy's two “stuck patients.” Well, she got some consultation about why these patients might be stuck, which is nearly always an Agenda Setting problem—the therapist is working harder than the patient due to the need to “help,” and this plays into the patient's ambivalence. This struck a chord, and Amy was very excited to see her patients again, and both suddenly got “unstuck,” although in somewhat different ways. And that is why I call it the Acceptance Paradox. The moment YOU change, and accept yourself, your world will also change! Or, to put it differently. We often see the world as “different” or as “other,” thinking we are separated. The Buddhists see the world as “one,” and that is certainly true in therapy as well. Answers to the Quiz Question David's list of Distortions in Amy's Negative Thought: “I'm failing my patients.” 1.     All-or-Nothing Thinking. This is not realistic because Amy is not stuck with all of her patients. And even though she's still far short of her hopes for these two patients, they may feel they are getting lots of TLC and support from Amy. 2.     Overgeneralization. This is misleading because she's overgeneralizing from her two failures to her “self,” and labeling herself as “a fraud and a failure.” She also overgeneralizing to the future, thinking things will never change or improve so she should get a new career. 3.     Mental Filtering. She only focusing on the two patients who are stuck. 4.     Discounting the Positive. She's overlooking the fact that she's going excellent work with a great many people, and has tremendous integrity, skill, and commitment to her patients. 5.     Magnification and Minimization. She's kind of blowing things out of proportion, although it's always good to focus on patients who aren't yes improving. 6.     Emotional Reasoning, She FEELS like a failure so thinks she IS a failure. 7.     Hidden Should Statement. She thinks she SHOULD be perfect! 8.     Labeling. Same as Overgeneralization. See above. 9.     Self-Blame. She's blaming herself instead of loving herself and focusing on getting she help she needs and deserves! Thanks for listening today! Rhonda, Amy, and David  

I'm back with the last few mindset traps of the Empty Nest Straddle. In this episode, I'm tackling the trap of "Overgeneralization", where our minds draw broad, and often incorrect or at least incomplete, conclusions about the circumstances of our lives. This trap is insidious because we often have no idea we're doing it. In fact, we often think that what we observe is simply the "truth". But when we don't observe and manage this aspect of our minds, it can have disastrous consequences for our relationships (particularly with our teens) and in the way we feel about and show up in our lives. Tune in to get yourself out of this trap.

In today's episode, Gina discusses how to use our emotional reasoning and thinking to our advantage, rather than let it contribute to our anxiety and defeat. A number of cognitive distortions are identified as well as how to combat these tendencies. Looking to the positive, or even simply the neutral, can go a long way to preserving our mental health and emotional stability.n Listen in to find out how to do this effectively today! Please visit our Sponsor Page to find all the links and codes for our awesome sponsors! https://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com/sponsors/ Thank you for supporting The Anxiety Coaches Podcast. Find even more peace and calm with our Supercast premium access membership! https://anxietycoaches.supercast.com/ Here's what's included for $5/month: ❤ New Ad-Free episodes every Sunday and Wednesday ❤ Access to the entire Ad-free back-catalog with over 600 episodes ❤ Premium meditations recorded with you in mind ❤ And more fun surprises along the way! All this in your favorite podcast app! To learn more go to: https://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com Join our Group Coaching Full or Mini Membership Program  Learn more about our One-on-One Coaching What is anxiety? Quote: Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. -Lao Tzu Chapters 0:00:24 Introduction and the theme of self-defeating beliefs 0:01:19 Example 1: Filtering - Focusing on the negative 0:03:30 Example 2: Black and white thinking - All or nothing mentality 0:05:39 Example 3: Overgeneralization - Exaggerating or taking things to the extreme 0:07:22 Example 4: Mind reading - Making assumptions about others 0:09:14 Example 5: Catastrophizing - Expecting and projecting the worst 0:12:46 Ignoring Emergencies and Seeking Immediate Relief 0:14:39 Seeking Help and Relief from Anxiety Summary In this episode of the Anxiety Coaches Podcast, Gina Ryan discusses the impact of cognitive distortions on our mental well-being. She explores the concept of emotional reasoning and how it contributes to self-defeating beliefs. Drawing from personal experience, Gina shares her journey of recognizing and overcoming these beliefs. Gina delves into various cognitive distortions, highlighting real-life examples and their solutions. She first explores the concept of filtering, where individuals focus solely on the negative aspects of a situation. She offers strategies for shifting perspective and finding balance. Next, Gina addresses black and white thinking, where individuals perceive things as either perfect or a complete failure. She provides tools for challenging this rigid mindset and finding the shades of gray. Overgeneralization, which involves exaggerating or taking things to the extreme, is another cognitive distortion discussed by Gina. She shares techniques for reframing thoughts and practicing self-compassion. Mind reading, the act of making assumptions about others' thoughts or motivations, is also tackled in the episode. Gina offers guidance on cultivating open communication and directly asking others for clarification. Throughout the conversation, Gina emphasizes the importance of mindfulness in identifying and challenging these self-defeating beliefs. She encourages listeners to embrace the concept of present-moment awareness and engage in self-reflection. In addition to cognitive distortions, Gina addresses other patterns of thinking, such as catastrophizing and personalization. She stresses the significance of seeking professional guidance or support from loved ones when necessary. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Featured photo is Mina as a child (more pics below!) 374 Anger, Part 2 You Have Always Hated Me! In the Anger Part 1 podcast (371 on November 20), Rhonda, Matt and David discussed the fact that when you're feeling angry, there's always an inner dialogue—this is what you're saying to yourself, the way you're thinking about the situation—and an outer dialogue—this is what you're saying to the other person. In Part 1, we focused on the inner dialogue and described the cognitive distortions that nearly always fill your mind with anger-provoking inner chatter about the ‘awfulness” of the person you're mad at. Those distortions include All-or-Nothing Thinking, Overgeneralization, Labeling, Mental Filtering, Discounting the Positive, Mind-Reading, Fortune Telling, Emotional Reasoning, Other-Directed Should Statements, and Other-Blame. That's a lot—in fact, all but Self-Blame. And sometimes, when you're ticked off, you might also be blaming yourself, and feel mad at yourself at the same time. Matt suggested I add these comments on Self-Blame or it's absence:: Another possible addition would be when you identify the absence of Self Blame when we're angry. For me, it's been easier to think of that as a positive distortion, because you are blind to, or ignoring, your own role in the problem. In other words, when I'm blaming someone else, it's me thinking my poop smells great and tit's all the other person's fault.. I've wondered if we fool ourselves like this because of the desire to have a special and perfect “self,” which we then defend. Because nobody's perfect, our "ideal self," as opposed to our "real self," is just a pleasant, but potentially destructive, fantasy. Still, we try to preserve and project the fantasy that we are free of blame and the innocent victim of the other person's "badness," , and we imagine there we have a perfect “self” to defend. Or, as you've said, at times, David, “anger is often just a protective shell to hide and protect our more tender and genuine feelings.” We also discussed the addictive aspect of anger, since you probably feel morally superior to the “bad” person you're ticked off at when you're mad, and this makes it fairly unappealing to change the way you're thinking and feeling. Your anger also protects you from the risk of being vulnerable and open and genuine. Today we discuss the Outer Dialogue, and how to express angry feelings to another person, as well as how to respond to their expressions of anger. The main concept is that you can express anger in a healthy way, by sharing your anger respectfully, or you can act out your anger aggressively, by attacking the other person. That's a critically important decision! Toward the start of today's podcast, Rhonda, Matt and David listed some of the distinctions between healthy and unhealthy anger. The following is just a partial list of some of the differences:   Healthy Anger Unhealthy Anger You treat the other person with respect, even if you're angry. You want to put the other person down. Your goal is to get closer to the other person. You want to get revenge or hurt or humiliate the other person. You hope to improve the relationship. You want to reject or distance yourself from the other person. You want to understand the other person's mindset and find the truth in what they're saying, even if it sounds ‘off' or ‘disturbing' or offensive. You want to prove that the other person is ‘wrong' and persuade them that you are ‘right'. You want to understand and accept the other person. You insist on trying to change the other person. You express yourself thoughtfully. You express yourself impulsively. You come from a mindset of humility, curiosity, and flexibility. You come from a position of moral superiority, judgement, and rigidity. You are patient. You are pushy and demanding. Optimism that things can improve and that there's a great potential for a more meaningful and loving connection. Hopelessness and feelings of certainty that things cannot improve. Open to what I've done wrong and how I've hurt you. Focus on what you've done wrong and how you've hurt me. I-Thou mindset. I-It mindset. You're vulnerable and open to your hurt feelings. You put up a wall of toughness and try to hide your vulnerable true feelings.. You look for positive motives, if possible, and don't assume that you actually understand how the other person is thinking and feeling.. You attribute malignant motives to the other person and imagine that you can read their mind and know exactly why they feel the way they do. You accept and comprehend the idea that you can feel intensely angry with someone and love them at the same time.. You may believe that anger and love are dichotomies, and that conflict and anger, in some way, are the ‘opposite' of love or respect.. To bring some dynamics and personality to today's podcast, Mina, who's made a number of noteworthy appearances on the podcast, agreed to describe what she learned on a recent Sunday hike. (I've started up my Sunday hikes again, but in a small way now that the pandemic has subsided, at least for the time being. I'm struggling with low back pain when walking and that severely limits how far I can go.) Mina began by explaining that when she was talking to her mom on the phone. Her mom described a conflict with woman friend who seemed angry with Mina's mom. Mina said, “I can see why that woman got angry with you.“ Mina explained that her mother, who is “conflict phobic,” paradoxically ends up with conflicts with a lot of people. However, Mina's mother sounded hurt by Mina's comment, and said, “You've always hated me since you were a little girl! You always looked at me hatefully!” Here are some of Mina's "angry" childhood photos:   Mina explained how she felt when her mom said, "You've always hated me.” My jaw dropped when she said that! It was such a shock. I've always felt like she was my best friend! . . . I hate feeling angry. It makes me every bit as uncomfortable as anxiety. If I express my anger, it goes away, and I feel better. But I don't usually express it, and then it comes back disguised as weird neurologic symptoms. And that, of course, is the Hidden Emotion phenomenon that is so common in people who struggle with anxiety. When you try to squash or hide negative feelings your think you're not “supposed' to have, they often resurface in disguised form, as phobias, panic, OCD symptoms, chronic worrying, or any type of anxiety, including, as in Mina's case Health Anxiety—that's where you become convinced you have some serious neurologic or medical problem, like Multiple Sclerosis. Matt suggested that I might remind folks of my concept that “anger allays get expressed, one way or the other.” He's found this idea to be both true and incredibly helpful for “us nice folks who think we can get away without expressing our anger, thinking we can avoid conflicts, entirely. This always backfires, in my experience!” On the recent Sunday hike, Mina practiced how to talk with her mom, using the Five Secrets of Effective Communication. After that, she used what she'd practiced on the hike to talk to her mom about their relationship, and then got an “I love you” message from her mom the next morning. This made Mina very happy, but because she had a full day of back to back appointments, Mina decided to spend time crafting a thoughtful reply at the end of the day, when she had a little free time. But when she went back to her computer at the end of the day to send a message to her mom, she discovered that her mother had deleted the loving message she sent early in the day, and Mina felt hurt. When Mina asked her mom about it, her mom said that deleting the message was just an error due to ‘old age.” However, Mina did not really buy this, and thought her mom probably felt hurt and angry because Mina had not responded sooner. In the podcast, we practiced responding to mom using the role-play exercise I developed years ago. Essentially, one person plays the role of Mina's mom, and says something challenging or critical. Mina plays herself and responds as skillfully as possible with the Five Secrets, acknowledging the other person's anger and expressing her own feelings as well. We practiced responding to mom's statement, “You've always hated me.” Matt played the role of mom and Mina gave a beautiful Five Secrets response. You'll enjoy hearing her response, and Matt's and Rhonda's helpful feedback, when you listen to the podcast. Then Mina asked for help responding to another statement from her mom, who had also said: All of the kids your age are angry, because you were neglected a lot of the time because of the war in Iran, and your dad and I were busy doing what we had to do to survive and avoid being arrested. All of my Iranian friends with children your age are experiencing the same thing. Matt and Rhonda did more role plays with Mina, followed by excellent feedback on Mina's Five Secrets response. Again, I think you'll enjoy the role-playing and fine tuning when you listen to the podcast. One of the obvious take-home messages from today's podcast is to use the Five Secrets of Effective Communication when you're feeling angry and talking to someone who's angry with you as week, As a reminder, these are the Five Secrets. LINK TO 5 SECRETS And to make it simple, you can think of talking with your EAR: E = Empathy (listening with the Disarming Technique, Thought and Feeling Empathy, and Inquiry) A = Assertiveness (sharing your feelings openly with “I Feel” Statements) R = Respect (showing warmth and caring with Stroking) However, here's the rub: People who are angry will usually NOT want to do this! When you're ticked of, you will almost always have a huge preference for expressing yourself with the Unhealthy Anger described above. Matt urged me to publish my list of 36 reasons why this intense resistance to healthy communication. LINK HERE for the LIST 12 GOOD Reasons NOT to Empathize 12 GOOD Reasons NOT to Share your Feelings 12 GOOD Reasons NOT to Treat the Other Person with Respect. So, as you can see, there's a lot more to skillful communication of anger than just learning the Five Secrets of Effective Communication, although that definitely requires tremendous dedication and practice. But motivation is the most important key to success or failure. When you're upset with someone, you can ask yourself, “Do I want to communicate in a loving, or in a hostile way?” The reward of love are enormous, but the seduction of hostility and lashing out is at least as powerful! This battle between the light and the dark is not new, but has been blazing for tens of thousands of years. And, of course, the decision will be yours. Thanks for listening today, Mina, Rhonda, Matt, and David

In this podcast, we're discussing the cognitive distortion of overgeneralization, a common thought pattern that can hinder your progress and increase anxiety.  How does it serve you to think that the universe conspires against you when you're already running late?  Discover how it can hold you back in both business and life and learn practical tips for overcoming it. Heather provides a fresh perspective on this mental challenge that affects so many. Tune in to boost your awareness, reduce anxious thoughts, and transform your mindset. Overgeneralization is when you apply the experience from one event to all other events, even if they're not comparable. This type of thinking often affects people with anxiety.  Show Notes * Heather's insights on common phrases like "the story of my life." * Exploring overgeneralization and its prevalence among those with anxious thoughts. * Recognizing signs of overgeneralization and its effects on motivation and self-confidence. * Practical tips for overcoming overgeneralization, including reframing and challenging negative thoughts. * The power of replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations. How to Support the Podcast: Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play or wherever you listen to podcasts. Please like, share, and leave a review. If you like the content, please share with your friends by posting on social media so that we can reach and impact more people. If you want to purchase any of the books that we discuss, please use the link in the notes to shop on Amazon. In fact, if you shop on Amazon at all, then use our link to help support the podcast. https://www.amazon.com/?tag=weddbyheat-20 Connect: Heather Lahtinen: Website, Facebook, Instagram

Have you ever wondered about all or nothing thinking or overgeneralization? Do you know what either of those concepts are? Did you know that your brain is sometimes tricking you? Today is the first of 2 episodes where we're going to talk all about this- and if you find yourself using the words "always" or "never" frequently, you'll definitely find this one interesting. We're diving into these two cognitive distortions: all or nothing thinking and overgeneralization.What are Cognitive Distortions?According to the Cambridge dictionary, the term “cognitive” means “relating to or involving the processes of thinking and reasoning” and “distortions” means “a change to the intended or true meaning of something”. Therefore, cognitive distortions are irrational or biased thought patterns that lead to negative emotions and behavior. There are 11 common cognitive distortions that we will review in this section. Learning these and noticing when they happen can help us more easily identify our unintentional models. WE ALL DO THIS. I'd say nearly every single day. The two concepts that we talk about on today's episode are all or nothing thinking and overgeneralization.All or Nothing Thinking:This is when we see things in an extreme black-or-white mindset with no sort of middle ground. When we are stuck in all-or-nothing thinking we are thinking in absolutes- meaning it must be this way (that we are making up in our minds) or not at all. Oftentimes, we use this against ourselves where we think we must either be a complete success or a total failure.Overgeneralization- This thinking pattern happens when we draw broad, negative conclusions from an isolated event and apply it to everything. The big clue that lets us know we are overgeneralizing when we use words such as “always”, “never”, “everything”, and “nothing”. It can also be easily identified through global labels (ex: bad mom or terrible person)Simply put, drawing broad, negative conclusions about yourself and your surroundings based on just a couple of experiences is a result of overgeneralization.This is just a preview of what we dive into on today's episode. If you find yourself overgeneralizing situations or thinking words like "never"and/or "always" this episode is full of information that is applicable to you! You don't want to miss it.Head over to the show notes: https://www.wifeteachermommy.com/podcast/all-or-nothing-thinking/Head over to the YouTube version of this episode: https://youtu.be/DCr4WRIp5DUKey points on all or nothing thinking and overgeneralization:The concept that- thoughts create feelings, why thought work is important (when to use it)What "all or nothing thinking" is and how you may be doing itHow saying words like "always" and "never" is a sign of all or nothing thinkingWhat overgeneralization isThe definition of cognitive distortions and how it may be affecting youWhat to do when we find ourselves doing either of these things

Join Pam >> Free Workshop: Get Your Preteen/Teen to Listen & Cooperate without defiance, back talk, and conflict! This episode of The Peaceful Home Podcast delves into the intricate web of thoughts, emotions, and parenting. We'll explore how six common cognitive distortions can inadvertently sabotage your parenting efforts and discuss strategies for fostering a more adaptive mindset. Join us as we uncover these distortions and their impact on your interactions with your teens and tweens.We dive into 6 Types of Cognitive Distortions that are creating problems in parenting and how these might look in your day-to-day life, as well as the impact of your thoughts and mindset on your parenting journey. Cognitive Distortions:1. All-or-nothing thinking 2. Mental Filter 3. Overgeneralization 4. Discounting the Positive5. Catastrophizing6. PersonalizingWe explore how these might look in your day-to-day life and help you understand how cognitive distortions can directly impact your emotional state and, in turn, influence your reactions and interactions with your children. And explore the path to make the internal shift, so you can guide your adolescent as they grow!Join Aligned Moms MembershipFollow Me on Instagram: @parentingtherapistpamJoin the Free Moms Facebook Community FEEDBACK: If you're like “I love the Peaceful Home Podcast.” Please consider rating and reviewing our show! This helps us support women, just like you, on their motherhood journey. Click here →  https://pamgodbois.com/ApplePodcast, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with 5 stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!  WORK WITH PAM 1:1 Did you know that Pam's background is in therapy, YES, she still offers one-on-one services in the form of coaching. All Coaching is designed to help you create YOUR personal journey to a happier and healthier life. Want to do some relationship work with another adult in your life? This is one of Pam's Specialties. And unlike therapy, this is all about building a plan and learning the skills to execute, not looking for someone to take your side, and continuing to spin your wheels. Book a call and see what is the right fit for you! https://calendly.com/pamgcoaching/30-min-consultThe best thing you can do for yourself and your kids is effectively regulate your nervous system. And a great place to start >> to wire the brain for gratitude. Research tells us that gratitude increases happiness and a peaceful mindset. Make the shift and watch how things in your life start to change. Sign up today! www.pamgodbois.com/gratitude

Listen to this Whinypaluza Wednesday Live vlog episode with The Greene Family! An extension of the weekly blog, join Rebecca and her family on the live vlog, brought to you here in case you missed it last week!   Here is what to expect on this week's show: What are cognitive distortions, and why do they interfere with your thinking? All Or Nothing Thinking- if it isn't perfect, it is bad. Overgeneralization- applying a label to everything because it happened once. Mental Filter- ignore the positive and focus on the negative. Discounting the positives- not valuing positive things that happen Jumping to Conclusions- decisions not based on evidence Magnification or Minimization- making things more significant or less significant than they are. Emotional Reasoning- reasoning yourself into negative thoughts Should Statements- criticism in form of “you should have” or “I should have” Labeling- applying negative labels to yourself or others in reaction to a mistake or because something didn't happen the way you expected. Personalization and Blame- thinking you are to blame for things you have no control or influence over. How to identify cognitive distortions Showing yourself compassion and understanding in training yourself to break these habits. Look for evidence to support what you are thinking or saying to yourself or others. Is it true? Transformational vocabulary- instead of automatically falling into your cognitively distorted thoughts, how you can reframe what you say and how you think. Follow Rebecca Greene Blog  https://www.whinypaluza.com/ Book 1  https://bit.ly/WhinypaluzaBook Book 2 https://bit.ly/whinybook2 Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/whinypaluzaparenting Instagram https://www.instagram.com/becgreene5/ @becgreene5 TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@whinypaluzamom?lang=en @whinypaluzamom YouTube https://www.youtube.com/WhinyPaluza Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A regular Right-Wing caller to PDR demeaned undocumented immigrants and was schooled with the inconvenient truth about our founding. The conversation begins with a caller named Brian expressing concerns about undocumented immigrants, citing a single criminal case as evidence for a broader problem. Brian suggests that even a low rate of criminality among undocumented immigrants would translate to a significant number of criminals in the U.S. Brian was countered by the fact that it is incorrect to judge a large group based on isolated incidents. One should be looking at aggregate data rather than individual cases. Moreover, the data does not support the notion that immigrants, undocumented or otherwise, are more crime-prone than native-born Americans. In fact, studies have proven the opposite. While Trump may have done some commendable things, like pardoning some people of color whose convictions were race-based, his overall record on issues like racism, sexism, and homophobia cannot be ignored. Trump's actions should be evaluated in their entirety, not just based on isolated good deeds. Immigrants generally try to avoid criminal behavior because they want to stay under the radar. Immigrants are not the problem, but rather, the rhetoric and false beliefs perpetuated by outlets like Fox News and Newsmax are a clear and present danger to America. We need immigrants. Ask any farmer with his crops rotting in the fields of America. Brian and anti-immigrants who are maligning undocumented immigrants for breaking the law to enter the U.S. should display some humility. It is hypocritical not to criticize the original settlers for taking land that wasn't theirs. Humility and a focus on substantive dialogue rather than divisive rhetoric is essential. After all, the immigrants were coming for a job while European settlers came to conquer. The conversation reveals the depth of division and polarized opinions on issues like immigration and the political legacy of figures like Donald Trump. We must have more nuanced views and solutions. Overgeneralization and the demonization of specific groups are anti-American. Let's get a more informed, compassionate dialogue on this controversial issue. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/politicsdoneright/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/politicsdoneright/support

Our mind is a powerful tool that can shape our perception of reality. It can either be our ally or our worst enemy, depending on how we use it.Negative thinking is a common trap that can leave us stuck in life, preventing us from reaching our full potential.It is a mental booby trap that drains your energy and causes you to feel stuck in a cycle of self-doubt and despair. However, there are several ways to escape this trap and improve your mental well-being.The first step to escape from this trap is to pay attention to your thoughts and identify any negative thinking patterns that you may have. Common patterns include overgeneralizing, jumping to conclusions, and filtering out the positives. Once you identify these patterns, you can work to counteract them.Tune in to this episode as Eddie and I discuss some critical thinking traps that can lead to negative thinking and how to escape them.Key Takeaways- What in the world (05:33)- Fighting imposter syndrome (13:31)- Mental booby traps (15:42)- All-or-nothing mindset (23:37)- Overgeneralization thinking trap (26:12)- Mental filters (30:11)- Disqualifying the positives (34:48)- Jumping to conclusions (38:30)- Magnification and minimization (44:10)Additional Resources:- If you're looking to GROW YOUR BUSINESS and increase your sales, you should definitely consider joining our 8-week Masterclass, PASSION TO PROFIT. Get on our WAITLIST here: JOIN THE WAITLIST------- We are the Copelands Tiktok- The Pusher Society- Janelle's website- Join the Cake Cents FB Group- Join the Push Podcast FB Group- The Push Podcast's official website- Cake Mamas Instagram- Eddie's Instagram--If you haven't already, it would be amazing if you could head over to Apple Podcasts and leave a rating and review on the podcast!

Mariusz and his wife, Aleksandra, who is also a psychiatrist. Personal Work with Mariusz, Part 1 Mariusz and his wondaful family. In today's episode, Rhonda and I do live TEAM-CBT with Psychiatrist Mariusz Wirga, MD, who has struggled with perfectionism his entire life. Our training philosophy for TEAM-CBT involves doing your own personal work for a variety of reasons, including: 1. When you sit in the patient's seat, you develop a radically different perception of the value of the various components of TEAM, including T = Testing, E = Empathy, A = Assessment of Resistance, and M = Methods. 2. When you experience your own recovery, or “enlightenment,” you have a crystal clear vision of what's actually involved in rapid, effective treatment. 3. You will be able to tell your patients, “I understand how you feel because I've been there myself, and it will be my pleasure to show you the path out of the woods.” This message makes a highly beneficial impact on most patients. Bio sketch, by Rhonda Among his many other accomplishments, Mariusz organized the highly successful first world congress for TEAM-CBT in Warsaw, Poland in 2022. He is planning a second four-day TEAM-CBT intensive in Warsaw from March 30 to April 2, 2023. If you are interested in attending, you can learn more at www.teamcbt.eu or www.teamcbt.pl. Mariusz says, " "For the first time ever we will teach a parallel track for business and corporate applications of TEAM CBT at the 4-Day Warsaw Intensive (www.teamcbt.eu & www.teamcbt.pl). It will be taught by our singular Dr. Leigh Harrington, with Polish psychologist and TEAM CBT therapist Patrycja Sawicka-Sikora. In 2023, there will also be major TEAM-CBT conferences in Bristol, UK (August 14-17, 2023, www.feelinggood.uk.com ) and Mexico City (November 6-9, 2023, www.teamcbt.mx )" In today's podcast we will listen to the Testing and Empathy portions of his session. Next week, you will hear the Assessment of Resistance and Methods and exciting conclusion of his session. T = Testing We began by reviewing Mariusz's scores on the pre-session Brief Mood Survey, which you can review. We will, of course, ask him to take this test at the end of the session, so we can see how effective or ineffective we were in helping him change the way he's thinking and feeling. Mariusz's beloved cat, Orangina, played a featured role in his session with Rhonda and David! E = Empathy We discussed his anxiety which had spiked in apprehension of today's live session. He had several negative thoughts that we elicited with a brief Downward Arrow Technique. The percents indicate how strongly he believed each one. I will be talking about private issues, and people will think less of me. 70% Then people will be less likely to want to see me for therapy. 50% My patients might be disappointed in me. 50% This could affect me financially, and I won't be able to pay the bills, and my daughter's wedding is coming up. 50% (Mariusz, my estimate on % belief.) If that happens, my wife and kids will turn against me. (Need % belief that you had at the time, Mariusz.) My also reviewed the Daily Mood Log that Mariusz prepared prior to today's session. Feel free to review it. As you can see, he woke up in the middle of the night and remembered that he'd forgotten to send a form he promised to send to a patient whom he'd seen two days earlier. You can also see that his negative feelings were very elevated, ranging from 60% to 85% for loneliness, embarrassment, sadness, inadequacy, frustration and anger,  to 100% for guilt, shame, and anxiety. If you review his DML, you will also see that he'd recorded 10 self-critical thoughts, and many of them were Should and Shouldn't Statements. For example, “I should have sent her the homework. I shouldn't have made such a basic therapy error.” He also identified the many distortions in each thought. All-or-Nothing Thinking, which is the mother of perfectionism, was present in most of them. Other common distortions included Should Statements, Overgeneralization, Magnification, and Self-Blame, to name just a few. Mariusz's belief in all of his negative thoughts was high. You may recall the two requirements for feeling upset: 1. Your mind has to be filled with negative thoughts. 2. You have to believe those thoughts. Mariusz also described his extremely busy and demanding schedule, including the groups he runs in the hospital for cancer patients, his clinical practice, research, teaching, organizing large international TEAM-CBT conferences, and more. His hectic schedule means he always has to be moving fast, so mistakes and slip ups are fairly common. That's when he beats up o himself, gets anxious, and has trouble sleeping, which compounds everything. He also beats up on himself and feels guilty for falling behind in some of his commitments. Rhonda and I empathized, using the Five Secrets of Effective Communication, and then Rhonda asked him to grade our empathy. He gave us an A+. Orangina at her favorite scratching post, the one that Mariusz got for her, with her tail straight in the air to show pride and love for Mariusz! This ends Part 1 of the work with Mariusz. Next week, you'll hear the exciting conclusion of his session. Warmly, Rhonda, Mariusz, and David

In today's video, we're going to cover a very common cognitive distortion called overgeneralization. Read or watch below to learn more about overgeneralization. Zachary Stockill: Welcome to part two of my new series on retroactive jealousy and cognitive distortions. Today we're going to cover a very, very common cognitive distortion called overgeneralization.  Just to remind you, […] The post What is Overgeneralization? (RJ and Cognitive Distortions) [VIDEO] appeared first on Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy.

Ever found yourself making broad assumptions about a situation with limited experience or evidence to support it? You just might be a overgeneralizer On this week's episode we continue our conversation on cognitive distortions by diving deep into overgeneralization. What is overgeneralization,how and why do we do it, why it's ruining your life and how to overcome it. CONNECTED ➡️ Instagram: https://instagram.com/therapy_thursday_pod?igshid=r88tgg4qyngo Twitter: https://twitter.com/qualityqueenoj/status/1343417947067453440?s=21 If you have a question you'd like to have answered in a future episode, please share it @Ojevweidi@gmail.com

What is OVERGENERALIZATION? Although this is one word, it has 2 parts: over and generalization. "Over" means excessive in this case and "generalization" is a term that is extremely broad. It's when you excessively broaden any thought or conclusion--from one negative event you make a sweeping generalization about yourself or your situation. For example, burning the toast goes to "I can never do anything right." Generalizations can be kinda like stereotypes: "All Americans wear blue jeans." Generalizing is taking one characteristic and applying it to all cases (which would hardly ever be true!) Just like with all or nothing thinking, the words “always” and “never” “everything” and “nothing” come into play. Tune in to this 2nd part in the Magnificent Mondays Series as I'll help you: unpack the most common cognitive distortions identify if you are plagued by these types of faulty thinking, and put into play tips to help you move past this type of twisted thinking. THEME VERSE from Phil 4: 8 Think about whatever is PRAISEWORTHY! CONNECT WITH VICTORIA: EMAIL: choose2think@gmail.com WEBSITE MENTORING ONLINE COURSES YOUTUBE FACEBOOK INSTAGRAM *CHOOSE 2 THINK DEVOTIONAL. Peek Inside Here. *CHOOSE 2 THINK JOURNAL: Peek Inside Here. *When you make a purchase from these Amazon affiliate links, I may earn a teeny commission from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you. Thank you for your support! DISCLAIMER: The Choose 2 Think Inspirational Podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Please consult your physician or doctor for all medical advice and counsel. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/victoria-walker-lydon/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/victoria-walker-lydon/support

It's a new year, and we should be kind and compassionate toward ourselves. Sure, everything may not be perfect. Maybe we've already failed a new year's resolution or goal. Perhaps we feel regret over our Christmas spending or credit card debt. There are so many things that can allow our inner critic to take hold and wreak havoc on our minds.  I'm going to talk about ten ways to manage that inner critic or the cognitive distortions which make us unusually hard on ourselves or feel bad about ourselves. It's time to look at those thoughts and find ways to manage that inner critic so we can find our inner ally to respond to those thoughts.    Episode Highlights:  [04:12] When our brain says something over and over again, we decide that it's true. This is called cognitive distortion. [05:33] All-or-Nothing thinking. You're either perfect or a failure. We need to actively look for the middle ground.  [07:12] Overgeneralization is using the words always or never. Remove the words always or never. It's a singular moment. [08:33] Filtering. We filter and magnify the negative and discard the positive. Our brains are always looking for threats. Keep track of the positive aspects by writing them down. [09:49] Catastrophizing. Going to the worst case scenario. Ask ourselves what could go right? Look for the best case scenario. [11:58] Disqualifying the positive. It takes five positives to offset one negative. Keep track of your wins and write down a few positives. [13:30] Jumping to conclusions. Project onto people what you're most afraid that they will feel. Is it true? Are there other possibilities? [14:34] Emotional reasoning. Telling yourself it must be true because you feel it. Intense emotional feelings only last about 90 seconds. [16:02] Should statements. When you tell yourself what it should be like. Stop and ask where these expectations come from. [17:46] Personalization. When you take everything personally and accept responsibility. [18:56] Double standard. Where we hold ourselves to a higher standard than everyone else. How would we respond to a friend?   Resources & Links Related to this Episode Wealthquest Get Started Living a Rich Life: The No-Regrets Guide to Building and Spending Wealth 10 Tested Strategies to Manage Your Inner Critic

In today's Distortion of the Day!, I talk about Overgeneralization. Distortions of the Day! are brief episodes running under 10 minutes where I introduce psychological concepts in a fun, practical, useful way. Thanks for tuning in!    

We sit down with ADHD Coach Brooke Schnittman, MA, BCC, ACC, and talk about the world of ADHD coupled with coaching.  In this episode, Brooke gives tactical tips for anyone struggling with ADHD and how to spot signs in children that may be struggling. We also talk about: The most common symptoms How to cope with changing environments and routine Overgeneralization of ADHD and ADD The differences between mild, moderate, and severe ADHD Coexisting conditions or exasperated symptoms that may seem like ADHD Educating others on your learning disabilities Coaching those with ADHD Meet Brooke!  Visit her website!  Sign up for our Newsletter! Connect with us! More Than a Season Instagram Get to know Ashley Get to know Brittany Visit our website: www.morethanaseasonpodcast.com Email us: morethanaseasonpodcast@gmail.com

We sit down with ADHD Coach Brooke Schnittman, MA, BCC, ACC, and talk about the world of ADHD coupled with coaching.  In this episode, Brooke gives tactical tips for anyone struggling with ADHD and how to spot signs in children that may be struggling. We also talk about: The most common symptoms How to cope with changing environments and routine Overgeneralization of ADHD and ADD The differences between mild, moderate, and severe ADHD Coexisting conditions or exasperated symptoms that may seem like ADHD Educating others on your learning disabilities Coaching those with ADHD Meet Brooke!  Visit her website!  Sign up for our Newsletter! Connect with us! More Than a Season Instagram Get to know Ashley Get to know Brittany Visit our website: www.morethanaseasonpodcast.com Email us: morethanaseasonpodcast@gmail.com

In the first of a multi-part topic, Dr. Steve Wood and Dr. Bill Kanasky, Jr. discuss irrational thinking patterns. Steve and Bill describe how the brain makes connections that may or may not be connected in reality and how that type of irrational thinking can impact witness performance, requiring cognitive reframing to correct these irrational thinking patterns. Bill and Steve have identified 13 cognitive distortions that are crippling your witnesses and cover four of these distortions in this episode: 1) Polarized thinking - this type of thinking occurs when your witness feels they have to be perfect as a witness; 2) Mental filtering - when a witness magnifies negative aspects of the case and ignores or discounts positive facts; 3) Overgeneralization - this happens when your witness focuses on a single negative event from the past and makes an extreme conclusion that all other events in the future will be negative; 4) Jumping to conclusions - your witness is convinced that there is no chance at obtaining a favorable trial verdict or settlement. Watch the video of this episode: https://www.courtroomsciences.com/r/ImG

Ryan talks Cognitive Distortions after a special request. Ryan pulls from the  "Feeling Good" book by Dr. David Burns. This episodes talks about the 10 cognitive distortions and how they pop up in all of our lives. 1. All or Nothing Thinking2. Overgeneralization 3. Mental Filter4. Disqualifying the Positive5. Jumping to Conclusions6. Magnification/ Minimization 7. Emotional Reasoning 8. Should Statements9. Labeling 10. Personalization#cognitivedistortions #feelinggood #veterans #CBT #CPT #cognitivetherapy #military #army #navy #marines #airforce #coastguard #nationalguard #therapy #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #effPTSD #effDepression link to Feeling Good : https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336 https://www.vetwithamic.com/https://www.facebook.com/VetwithaMichttps://www.instagram.com/vetwithamic/Support the show

In this episode, we are going to learn about these sneaky mind tricks called cognitive distortions that keep you anxious or depressed. We are going to separate this topic into two episodes. In this episode, we are going to define cognitive distortion, why we have them and explore the first 4/8 cognitive distortions. Check out the PDF link of all the cognitive distortions and their descriptions below! First 3 listeners to email Dr. Kim will get free 30 minute phone consultation to talk about their cognitive distortions!  Email Dr. Kim: restorepsychiatrymd@gmail.com**Disclaimer: This site's content is not intended to diagnose or treat any disorders but rather for informational, educational, and empowerment purposes. Please consult with your physician or mental health provider for specific medical and mental health needs. Our connection via social media platforms does not constitute a patient-physician relationship.**Episode 1: Cognitive Triad and jumping to conclusions (I said E2 in the recording but it's E1)Episode 5: Example of Overgeneralization of psychiatristsCognitive Distortion PDFDr. Kim's private practiceSpeakpipe to send Dr. Kim your questions

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If there's one thing that stands in the way of people making changes in their lives, it's their thoughts. Our thoughts can be powerful barriers to change, but they can also be helpful tools for growth. In this episode, we'll explore how to overcome the #1 barrier: our thoughts. We'll look at some healthy thinking patterns that can help us make positive changes in our lives, and we'll learn how to use these patterns to our advantage.In this episode of Trail Angels powered by Cairn the Load, Mark and Annette will be discussing Healthy Thinking Patterns. We share some powerful tools that will be helpful to understand our true identity, our worth, and how worth is different than "worthiness." We discuss common inaccurate thinking patterns and "triggers," what they are and how we respond to them, and ultimately healthy thinking patterns and how we can change our thoughts to a healthier way of thinking.  Grab a paper and pencil, and be prepared to join us as we learn how to create Healthy Thinking Patterns. Common Inaccurate Thinking PatternsAll or Nothing, Mislabeling, Jumping to Conclusions, Personalizing, Emotional Reasoning, Overgeneralization, Negative Mental Filter, Discounting the Positive, Magnification, "Should" Statements. At the core of every thought, you have a belief. Your beliefs determine your thoughts, feelings, actions, and behaviors. In other words, your beliefs are what shape your entire experience of reality.If you don't believe something is possible, you'll never be able to make it happen. If your beliefs limit your progress towards your goals, your life will always be stuck in a rut, and you'll never achieve your full potential.What makes your life better: your time, energy, or thoughts?It takes as much mental effort as positive thoughts as negative ones. If we want to change our lives for the better, we need to stop accepting our limiting beliefs just because they're comfortable. Sometimes your thoughts can help your efforts, but other times your thoughts will do nothing but reinforce your current situation.If you want to move forward in your life, you have to start thinking differently. You need to take control of your mind and take responsibility for your mental patterns. 

If there's one thing that stands in the way of people making changes in their lives, it's their thoughts. Our thoughts can be powerful barriers to change, but they can also be helpful tools for growth. In this episode, we'll explore how to overcome the #1 barrier: our thoughts. We'll look at some healthy thinking patterns that can help us make positive changes in our lives, and we'll learn how to use these patterns to our advantage.In this episode of Trail Angels powered by Cairn the Load, Mark and Annette will be discussing Healthy Thinking Patterns. We share some powerful tools that will be helpful to understand our true identity, our worth, and how worth is different than "worthiness." We discuss common inaccurate thinking patterns and "triggers," what they are and how we respond to them, and ultimately healthy thinking patterns and how we can change our thoughts to a healthier way of thinking.  Grab a paper and pencil, and be prepared to join us as we learn how to create Healthy Thinking Patterns. Common Inaccurate Thinking PatternsAll or Nothing, Mislabeling, Jumping to Conclusions, Personalizing, Emotional Reasoning, Overgeneralization, Negative Mental Filter, Discounting the Positive, Magnification, "Should" Statements. At the core of every thought, you have a belief. Your beliefs determine your thoughts, feelings, actions, and behaviors. In other words, your beliefs are what shape your entire experience of reality.If you don't believe something is possible, you'll never be able to make it happen. If your beliefs limit your progress towards your goals, your life will always be stuck in a rut, and you'll never achieve your full potential.What makes your life better: your time, energy, or thoughts?It takes as much mental effort as positive thoughts as negative ones. If we want to change our lives for the better, we need to stop accepting our limiting beliefs just because they're comfortable. Sometimes your thoughts can help your efforts, but other times your thoughts will do nothing but reinforce your current situation.If you want to move forward in your life, you have to start thinking differently. You need to take control of your mind and take responsibility for your mental patterns. 

Reasons why you don't see the world clearly. Overgeneralization, Personalization, Catastrophizing, Jumping to Conclusions, Emotional Reasoning, Discounting the Positive, 'Should' Statements.The Jossman Method; Conquering Life's TransitionsMusic credit: (copyright not owned)Artist: Tune SurfersTitle: Blood, Sweat and TearsCopyright provided by: SoundCloud.com

Proceed with caution! Overgeneralization can be detrimental to your running success. In this episode the Marathon Mind coaches help you understand overgeneralization and how to avoid it.

What is the proper role of your emotions?  Should you trust them?  How do you know when they are helping and when they are hurting?  Today we’ll take a look at another exciting advantage that Christianity provides.  In this episode, you’ll learn about the problems endemic to emotional reasoning, the robust biblical teaching about your Read more about 400 Why Christianity 13: The Heart (Sean Finnegan)[…]

What is the proper role of your emotions?  Should you trust them?  How do you know when they are helping and when they are hurting?  Today we’ll take a look at another exciting advantage that Christianity provides.  In this episode, you’ll learn about the problems endemic to emotional reasoning, the robust biblical teaching about your Read more about 400 Why Christianity 13: The Heart (Sean Finnegan)[…]

"The first and most important step toward success is the feeling that we can succeed." Nelson Boswell   Today I want to share with you the monthly blog article from my business partner Robert Stuberg.  The of the blog entry is Thought Distortions.  This blog is packed with content and ideas on how to start REALLY changing your thoughts....especially the ones you Don't want to be having.   Head over to Stuberg.com to get tons of additional blog articles and ideas that can help you Unleash Your Potential.   Thought Distortions Blog July 1, 2021   One of the questions clients frequently ask me is, What is the best way to change your thoughts? In other words, how do you get rid of thoughts you don't want running through your mind? If you take the time to analyze your unwanted thoughts, you will often discover that they are based on distortions of reality. Finding ways to eliminate these “Thought Distortions” can take many forms. Over the years, I have used several methods but some of the ones I've found most effective have been self-hypnosis, sleep programming, meditation, and even something I call “Hypnology” which you may find fun to investigate and experience for yourself. (There is a FREE product titled Provocative Destiny on my website if you would like to explore the concept of “Hypnology” which involves using your musical intelligence to reprogram your subconscious mind. It's an extremely powerful way to change your thinking. Just click HERE for your FREE copy!)   The challenge to eliminating your unwanted thoughts, however, is that you first have to figure out what thoughts you need to eliminate. So let me begin by telling you about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which was developed by the American psychiatrist Aaron Beck in the 1960's. Beck originally used Freudian Psychoanalysis with his patients but as a researcher and scientist, he decided to put psychoanalysis to the test. Unfortunately, those tests he conducted did not produce the results he was expecting which is what lead him to start developing and testing other methods.   As you might imagine, Beck was not originally applauded for challenging accepted beliefs and practices but as other colleagues began trying his methods, Beck was vindicated and eventually regarded as an important pioneer in the field of psychiatry.   The essence of what Beck discovered is that negative thoughts fall into three categories: negative ideas about the self, negative ideas about the world, and negative thoughts about the future. For many people, these negative thoughts become automatic over time so they are no longer even questioned. But when Beck began questioning patients about their thoughts and pointing out various inaccuracies or distortions, patients could recognize their faulty thinking and choose new thoughts. As simple as it sounds, it was revolutionary at the time and it still remains a major part of psychiatry today. It is especially significant in the treatment of depression. I find it one of the best tools available to clarify one's thinking about anything.   Read the next section on thought distortions to see if you can uncover any in your own thinking. I think it is safe to say that we all have thought distortions, but we can eliminate them by recognizing and acknowledging them, and by beginning to ask better questions to get to the truth.   The key is learn to rise above thought distortions which always fall into those three main categories I mentioned—i.e., negative thoughts that are personal, pervasive, and permanent. The good news is that with clear, rational thinking you can spot these. However, it's always recommended to brainstorm what you are thinking about with a coach, mentor, counselor, or doctor to get real unbiased feedback.   THE COGNITIVE TRIAD   The Self – Is the self worthless or valuable? (Personal) The World/Environment – Is the world unfair, fair, or neutral? (Pervasive) The Future – Is the future hopeless or hopeful? (Permanent) Again, the most challenging problems are the ones that we convince ourselves are personal, pervasive, and permanent. Put those on your list to be eliminated.   TYPES OF THOUGHT DISTORTIONS   All-Or-Nothing Thinking   Engaging in black-or-white thinking. Thinking in extremes, such as all good or all bad, with nothing in the middle. Selective Abstraction   Selecting one idea or fact from an event while ignoring other facts in order to support negative thinking. Mind Reading   Believing that we know the thoughts in another person's mind. Negative Prediction   Believing that something bad is going to happen even though there is no evidence to support this prediction. Catastrophizing   Exaggerating the potential or real consequences of an event and becoming fearful of the consequences. Overgeneralization   Making a rule based on a few negative or isolated events and then applying it broadly. Labeling   Creating a negative view of oneself based on errors or mistakes that one has made. This is a type of overgeneralizing which affects one's view of oneself. Magnification   Exaggerating an imperfection into something greater than it is. Minimization   Making a positive event much less important than it really is. Personalization   Taking a common or general event and relating it to oneself thus making a connection where one really doesn't exist. I've found this list of Thought Distortion Types to be extremely valuable for myself and my clients as a reference guide to help spot thoughts you are thinking that are not good for you, not good for others, and don't serve the greater good. More importantly, since they are Thought Distortions, they are not true. And I believe that all progress starts with telling yourself the truth. Or as an old mentor said to me one day: “Robert, you might as well start with the truth because you are going to end with it.” Sage advice indeed.

"The first and most important step toward success is the feeling that we can succeed." Nelson Boswell   Today I want to share with you the monthly blog article from my business partner Robert Stuberg.  The of the blog entry is Thought Distortions.  This blog is packed with content and ideas on how to start REALLY changing your thoughts....especially the ones you Don't want to be having.   Head over to Stuberg.com to get tons of additional blog articles and ideas that can help you Unleash Your Potential.   Thought Distortions Blog July 1, 2021   One of the questions clients frequently ask me is, What is the best way to change your thoughts? In other words, how do you get rid of thoughts you don't want running through your mind? If you take the time to analyze your unwanted thoughts, you will often discover that they are based on distortions of reality. Finding ways to eliminate these “Thought Distortions” can take many forms. Over the years, I have used several methods but some of the ones I've found most effective have been self-hypnosis, sleep programming, meditation, and even something I call “Hypnology” which you may find fun to investigate and experience for yourself. (There is a FREE product titled Provocative Destiny on my website if you would like to explore the concept of “Hypnology” which involves using your musical intelligence to reprogram your subconscious mind. It's an extremely powerful way to change your thinking. Just click HERE for your FREE copy!)   The challenge to eliminating your unwanted thoughts, however, is that you first have to figure out what thoughts you need to eliminate. So let me begin by telling you about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which was developed by the American psychiatrist Aaron Beck in the 1960's. Beck originally used Freudian Psychoanalysis with his patients but as a researcher and scientist, he decided to put psychoanalysis to the test. Unfortunately, those tests he conducted did not produce the results he was expecting which is what lead him to start developing and testing other methods.   As you might imagine, Beck was not originally applauded for challenging accepted beliefs and practices but as other colleagues began trying his methods, Beck was vindicated and eventually regarded as an important pioneer in the field of psychiatry.   The essence of what Beck discovered is that negative thoughts fall into three categories: negative ideas about the self, negative ideas about the world, and negative thoughts about the future. For many people, these negative thoughts become automatic over time so they are no longer even questioned. But when Beck began questioning patients about their thoughts and pointing out various inaccuracies or distortions, patients could recognize their faulty thinking and choose new thoughts. As simple as it sounds, it was revolutionary at the time and it still remains a major part of psychiatry today. It is especially significant in the treatment of depression. I find it one of the best tools available to clarify one's thinking about anything.   Read the next section on thought distortions to see if you can uncover any in your own thinking. I think it is safe to say that we all have thought distortions, but we can eliminate them by recognizing and acknowledging them, and by beginning to ask better questions to get to the truth.   The key is learn to rise above thought distortions which always fall into those three main categories I mentioned—i.e., negative thoughts that are personal, pervasive, and permanent. The good news is that with clear, rational thinking you can spot these. However, it's always recommended to brainstorm what you are thinking about with a coach, mentor, counselor, or doctor to get real unbiased feedback.   THE COGNITIVE TRIAD   The Self – Is the self worthless or valuable? (Personal) The World/Environment – Is the world unfair, fair, or neutral? (Pervasive) The Future – Is the future hopeless or hopeful? (Permanent) Again, the most challenging problems are the ones that we convince ourselves are personal, pervasive, and permanent. Put those on your list to be eliminated.   TYPES OF THOUGHT DISTORTIONS   All-Or-Nothing Thinking   Engaging in black-or-white thinking. Thinking in extremes, such as all good or all bad, with nothing in the middle. Selective Abstraction   Selecting one idea or fact from an event while ignoring other facts in order to support negative thinking. Mind Reading   Believing that we know the thoughts in another person's mind. Negative Prediction   Believing that something bad is going to happen even though there is no evidence to support this prediction. Catastrophizing   Exaggerating the potential or real consequences of an event and becoming fearful of the consequences. Overgeneralization   Making a rule based on a few negative or isolated events and then applying it broadly. Labeling   Creating a negative view of oneself based on errors or mistakes that one has made. This is a type of overgeneralizing which affects one's view of oneself. Magnification   Exaggerating an imperfection into something greater than it is. Minimization   Making a positive event much less important than it really is. Personalization   Taking a common or general event and relating it to oneself thus making a connection where one really doesn't exist. I've found this list of Thought Distortion Types to be extremely valuable for myself and my clients as a reference guide to help spot thoughts you are thinking that are not good for you, not good for others, and don't serve the greater good. More importantly, since they are Thought Distortions, they are not true. And I believe that all progress starts with telling yourself the truth. Or as an old mentor said to me one day: “Robert, you might as well start with the truth because you are going to end with it.” Sage advice indeed.

When we overgeneralize it’s typically towards the negative, and can manifest differently than you think.

238: Feeling Great Book Club Featuring Drs. Sharon Batista and Robert Schacter In today's podcast, Drs. Sharon Batista and Robert Schacter describe their visionary 16-week Feeling Great Book Club for mental health professionals that we mentioned in a podcast several months ago. The group was a great success, and I am super thankful to them for creating it! Sharon described how the group came into being. She’d been looking forward to Feeling Great and ordered the hardbound and the audio version as well. But she found, like so many mental health professionals, that it is difficult to keep up with career and family, and sent out a post to colleagues suggesting a possible book group to make the process of learning easier. Bob wrote back and said, “What a brilliant idea! Let’s do it!” Sharon and Bob reported that the more than 40 therapists signed up for the Book Club, which consisted of 90-minute sessions every other week. The participants ranged in experience from Level 1 to Level 4 certification in TEAM-CBT. Sharon explained that “People liked learning the parts of TEAM piece by piece. Being assigned to read 1 chapter per week gave them enough time to read and digest the material in small chunks. And people had a myriad of questions at every group.” Sharon and Bob graciously said that “a highlight for the group was the time David attended and generously gave us over two hours for Q and A.” For me (David) it was also a peak experience. Due, in part, to my narcissism, I just love answering questions, and they asked tons of really good ones! The other phenomenon they described was that “we became a group. It was comforting to see each other every two weeks with a common purpose and sense of community. People felt the group was relaxed and said they gained more understanding than from the training groups they’d been in. People were relieved to discover that they weren’t the only ones who thought TEAM-CBT was very complex.” Sharon added; “As therapists, we face lots of challenges and sometimes make mistakes. The participants got a lot of support and engaged in a process that involved learning and personal growth.” The questions from book club members began with clarifying the descriptions of the ten Cognitive Distortions. People asked questions like these: What is the difference between Overgeneralization and Mental Filtering? Why is a Should Statement a cognitive distortion? Why do some methods work better than others for various distortions? How do we know which ones to use? What is Unconscious Resistance? Why does the therapist need to become the voice of that resistance? What do you do when nothing seems to be working? Can you explain how the Magic Button leads to the “Switch” that makes someone decide to get better. How do you show empathy to someone who is suicidal? Can you explain the Death of the Ego? (This was a big question) When you are dealing with the spiritual side, how do you take the path of acceptance? What is the path of acceptance? What is the difference between a low-level and high-level solution? How can you be happy if the negative thoughts are true? How can you do TEAM-CBT when only 50-minute sessions are possible? Tell us what Enlightenment is! A major question was: Why do some people seem to not want to get better? How do you figure out what the resistance is, and how do you work through it? We shot the breeze about some of these questions in today’s podcast. If you would like to start your own Feeling Great Book Club for therapists or for lay people, and need more information, feel free to contact Sharon or Bob. Sharon M. Batista, M.D., FAPA, FACLP, FAMWA Medical Director, Balanced Psychiatry of New York  (212) 869-0515 drbatista@balancedpsychiatry.com Rhonda and I want to thank both of them and send them a big virtual hug!

This week we are talking about cognitive distortions and how we can rethink to create a more meaningful, stress free life. Also, I have a surprise guest, start listening!   References:Song Credit:Music by MBBhttps://www.youtube.com/c/mbbmusic​https://www.instagram.com/mbb_music​https://soundcloud.com/mbbofficial​https://spoti.fi/2wqzjwKLink to Blog: https://www.rachaelkable.com/blog/cognitive-distortions-and-anxietyLink to my website: https://greenkaitlyn97.wixsite.com/anintuitiveexistenceLink to The Wellness Podcast:  https://the-wellness-podcast.simplecast.com/

In today’s podcast episode, I’m going to share with you cognitive biases examples. And we’ll specifically dive deeper into one of the most common cognitive biases called overgeneralization, also known as limiting generalization.   ⚜️ ENROLLMENT OPENS IN 2021! SIGN UP FOR THE WAITLIST - https://coachsimona.com/waitlist   ❤️ CREATE A LIFE YOU WON'T NEED AN ESCAPE FROM – https://coachsimona.com/book    ⭐️ DOWNLOAD FREE CHEAT SHEET – bit.ly/15biases  

At the start of today’s podcast, we got an update on the Feeling Great app from Jeremy Karmel. We are looking for one or more programmers who might like to join our project. Our goal is to create the first electronic tool that can outperform human therapists, and some super promising preliminary data suggests we may be on the right path to make this happen. We are looking for talented engineers and designers who would share our passion for this incredible dream. If you are interested, contact Jeremy@FeelingGreatapp.com Today we are joined by our beloved and brilliant colleague, Dr. Jill Levitt to ask two questions: Can the “self” be judged? Does the “self” exist? We got quite a bit of positive feedback to a recent Ask David Podcast that included a question about Buddhism, but people said they wanted more on the topic of the “great death” of the self. Bottom line was this: You can judge your own or someone else’s specific thoughts and actions, but you cannot judge your (or somebody else’s) “self.” The question, “does the ‘self’ exist,” is meaningless. The goal of therapy is not to get promoted from the “worthless” to the “worthwhile” category, but to reject these categories as having no meaning. David argues that it is impossible to feel depressed without the distortions of Overgeneralization and Labeling—that where you jump from a specific flaw or problem, like getting rejected by your boyfriend to some abstract label or judgment, like thinking you are “unloveable.” We also used the real-life example of David responding to criticisms that he was too harsh with Steven Hayes on Episode 220. We show how TEAM therapy works, and illustrate several techniques for crushing the Negative Thoughts that lead to the painful negative thoughts that including Overgeneralization and Labeling, including: Empathy Positive Reframing Externalization of Voices Be Specific Acceptance Paradox Feared Fantasy We also focused on the concept of “laughing enlightenment,” a key Buddhist concept, along with the “great death” of the self. When you lose your “self,” you actually lose nothing, because there was nothing there in the first place. This is a kind of cosmic joke. But you inherit the world and gain liberation from your suffering, along with great joy, and of course, sadness as well. We also summarized the thinking of Ludwig Wittgenstein, arguably the greatest philosopher of all time, and how his sudden insight when a soccer ball hit him in the head transformed the history of philosophy. He was an extremely lonely man who had numerous episodes of depression, and never attempted to publish anything when he was alive, because only a handful of students and colleagues could understand what he was trying to say. This was intensely frustrating to him, because his message was so simple, clear, and basic—and yet the great philosophers could not grasp it. The Buddha had the same problem. The book, Philosophical Investigations was published in 1950, right after his death. It is just a series of numbered paragraphs, or brief comments, on different everyday themes, like bricklayers, string, games, and so forth. It is was based on a metal box they found under his bed, which contained notes from his weekly seminars at Cambridge. Many people, including myself, consider it as the greatest book in the history of philosophy, and think of Wittgenstein as the man who killed, or ended, philosophy. According to Wikipedia, the famed British philosopher, Bertrand Russell, described Wittgenstein as "perhaps the most perfect example I have ever known of genius as traditionally conceived; passionate, profound, intense, and dominating." Although Wittgenstein did not focus emotional problems, his solution to all the problems of philosophy is very similar to cognitive therapy. Here is the parallel: You don’t try to solve the classic “free will” problem. Instead, you see through it and give it up as nonsensical, as language that's "out of gear," so to speak. Once you “see this,” and understand why it is true, it is incredibly liberating. But it can be a lonely experience, because you suddenly “see” something super-obvious that seems to be invisible to 99.9% of humans. It's as if you had a "third eye," and could see something incredible that people with only two eyes cannot see. By the same token, when you suddenly “see” that the idea that you have a “self” which could be “superior” or “inferior” is nonsensical, it is also incredibly liberating. This, in fact, is the cognitive therapy version of spiritual “enlightenment.” And that's also one of the goals of the TEAM-CBT that my collegues and I have created. Jill, Rhonda, and David

Today's Ask David features four terrific questions. Kevin asks: Why is the concept of worthwhileness and worthlessness so important to people and their emotional health? Vallejo asks: Does the statement, "WHY AM I ALWAYS THE LAST ONE TO FIND OUT ABOUT ANYTHING?” correspond to overgeneralization, or self-blame? I’ve been listening to the early podcasts on the ten positive and negative cognitive distortions. David P asks: Do you think there is anything to be gained from a daily gratitude log, to go along with the daily mood log? Harvey asks: I don’t see how Positive Reframing actually contributes to the therapy. Kevin asks: Why are the concepts of worthwhileness and worthlessness so important to people and their emotional health? Hi David, I have a quick question about the concept of being a worthwhile human being. Suppose a person believes they are unconditionally worthwhile, what are the implications of this? Why are the concepts of worthwhileness and worthlessness so important to people and their emotional health? Best Regards, Kevin Hi Kevin, Thanks! That’s a very important question. However, it is abstract and philosophical. I have found that philosophical discussions tend to go on endlessly with resolve. In contrast, when someone asks for help with a specific moment when she or he was upset, then I can usually show that person how to change the way she or he is feeling. And when that happens, the person generally suddenly “sees” the solution to some very profound philosophical or spiritual questions. All that being said, I’ll take a crack at it. The goal of TEAM therapy is not to go from thinking that you’re a worthless human being to thinking that you’re a worthwhile human being, but to give up these concepts as nonsensical. Specific activities, talents or thoughts can be more or less worthwhile, but a human being cannot be more or less worthwhile. We can judge specific events, actions, and so forth, but not humans. At least I am not aware of how to validly judge a human being, or a group of humans. We can only judge their actions, attitudes, thoughts, and so forth. Unconditional self-esteem is definitely better than conditional self-esteem, since you don’t have to be perfect or a great achiever or a great anything to be “worthwhile,” but you are still focused on being "worthwhile." I'm not sure what that means, but there is a downside, to my way of thinking. If you think you are worthwhile because you are a human being, does that mean that you are more worthwhile than animals? Lots of people abuse animals, hunt animals, and so forth, which many people find immensely disturbing. These are some of the consequences of thinking that animals are less worthwhile, for example. Not sure that helps, but like your line of questioning! David Kevin follows up: What is the implication then of giving up these concepts at all? I assume that thinking that you have unconditional worthwhileness because you are alive or to drop these concepts entirely have the same emotional implications for people. What are these implications? For example, if I think that worthwhileness and worthlessness are meaningless concepts, so what? What’s the point? What do I gain? Hi Kevin, Let me start by saying, once again, that I am not an evangelist spreading the “gospel,” so to speak. My goal is simply to help people who are struggling with feelings of depression, anxiety, and self-doubt. So, if your way of thinking about things is working for you, there’s no reason to change. But my focus is always on someone who is suffering, and that’s where these concepts can sometimes be important. I can tell you what I gained by giving up the idea that I could be, or needed to be “worthwhile” or “special.” I gained a great deal of joy. It was a lot like escaping from a mental prison. It freed me to find incredible joy in the “ordinary” events of my daily life. It also freed me from fears of “failure” or not being “good enough.” Depression always results from Overgeneralization--you generalize from failing at something specific to thinking you are a failure as a human being. Without Overgeneralization, I think it is safe to say that it is impossible to be depressed. For example, if you measure your worthwhileness based on your achievements and success, you may feel excited when you succeed and devastated or anxious when you fail, or when you are in danger of failing. I'm not sure if this addresses your excellent question! A young woman told herself that she was "unloveable" when she and her boyfriend broke up after two years of going together. Can you see that she thinks she has a "self" that can be "loveable" or "unloveable?" This thought was very disturbing to her, as you might imagine. Relationships do not break up because someone is "unloveable," but because of specific factors or events that drive people apart. Once you zero in on why the relationship failed, or more correctly, why the two of you broke up, then you can pinpoint the causes and learn and grow so you can make your next relationship even better. There are tons of specific reasons why people break up! But if you think that you’re “unloveable,” or tell yourself that the relationship was “a failure,” then you may get stuck in a morass of negative feelings. But it’s not even true that the relationship was a failure.” That’s All-or-Nothing Thinking, since all relationships are a mixture of more or less successful aspects. You could even tell yourself that a “failed” relationship was a partial success, since you successfully learned that this isn’t the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. What’s in it for you to give up Overgeneralization and All-or-Nothing Thinking, as well as the concepts of being a “worthwhile” or “worthless” human being? That’s a decision each person can make. There are benefits as well as problems with these ways of thinking. For example, let’s say you’re depressed and think of yourself as “defective.” This is a common negative thought, and it is based on the idea that a human being could be more or less worthwhile, or thinking that your "self" can be judged or rated. So, you could do two Cost-Benefit Analyses. First, you could list the advantages and disadvantages of thinking of yourself as a “defective” human being. Then balance the advantages against the disadvantages on a 100-point scale, assigning the larger number to the list that seems more important or desirable. Second, you could list the advantages and disadvantages of thinking of yourself as a human being with defects, and once again balance the list of advantages against the disadvantages on a 100-point scale. This is just a subtle change in semantics, but the emotional implications can sometimes be pretty powerful. As I mentioned at the top, philosophical debates are just debates. Fun, perhaps, but not terribly useful. I’m more interested in magic, or miracles. That’s what happens at the moment of profound change, which can ONLY happen by focusing on one specific moment when you felt upset and needed help. When you do that, everything becomes radically different, and real change can occur. And at that magic moment of change, the solutions to all of the problems of philosophy will often suddenly become crystal clear. Or, to put it differently, the philosophical debates will suddenly become, without meaning to sound harsh, almost a waste of previous time. Our current semi-feral cat loves my wife, but is only starting to trust me, so I’ve been working at gaining her trust and learning to understand her non-verbal and somewhat complex efforts to communicate. Yesterday she roller over on her back and stretch out her front and back paws to expose her tummy to the max, and she let me pet her tummy for quite a long time, purring loudly the whole time. I don’t care if she’s “worthwhile,” or if I’m “worthwhile,” and have no idea what those terms could even mean. But petting her tummy—now, that’s something that’s REALLY worthwhile! david Hi David, You and Albert Ellis are my heroes. Without your books, I always wonder what path I would have taken in life! Thank you. I had a quick question about self-acceptance. One of the reasons I feel that I’m fully unable to embrace it (and I think this is common) is that I’m afraid that I will lose out on motivation to work hard towards my goals. I think this partially true because my conditional self-esteem has caused me to work hard on a lot of things including CBT! Do you have any good ways to combat this exact notion, that if I accept myself I will simply become complacent and therefore I can’t? Looking forward to Feeling Great! Best Regards, Kevin Hi Kevin, There’s a lot of truth in what you say. Early in my career I also had a tendency to base my self-esteem on my achievements and productivity, both in my research and in my clinical work as well. I did accomplish quite a lot, but things were a bit of a roller coaster. When I thought I was doing well, I felt terrific, but when I thought my research was failing, or when I was stuck with a patient, I got quite anxious and frustrated. These feelings didn’t always foster positive outcomes. Now I no longer feel that my “worthwhileness” as a human being depends on my successes. In fact, I don’t even have the concept anymore. Now, I think my writing skills are very good, especially my skills in explaining complex ideas in fairly simple terms. But I do not think this makes me “more worthwhile.” Sometimes my writing, or my interactions with people, or my jogging, and many other things I do aren’t very good. But I don’t think these problems and flaws make me any less “worthwhile.” Take our little adopted feral cat, Miss Misty, that I mentioned in my last email. Misty does not care how “worthwhile” I am. However, she’s totally delighted if I pet her, let her out in the back yard to explore, or give her a piece of cat candy, or if I play with her. She is enlightened because she judges what I “do,” not what I “am.” Will you become less productive or unmotivated when you give up these concepts of “worthwhileness?” That has not been my experience. I am the busiest and most productive now than at any previous time of my life. I’m now 78, and life is a ball. I have tons of fabulous colleagues to collaborate with and we’re working on all kinds of super-exciting and challenging projects. When we don’t have “selves” that we need to protect, or feelings of “worthwhileness” that we need to defend, we can listen to criticisms and collaborate without feeling threatened, and use the information to improve what we’re doing! Hope that makes sense! david * * * Vallejo asks: Does the statement, "WHY AM I ALWAYS THE LAST ONE TO FIND OUT ABOUT ANYTHING?” correspond to overgeneralization, or personalization cognitive distortion? I’ve been listening to the early podcasts on the ten positive and negative cognitive distortions. Hi Vallejo, Rhetorical questions are technically not considered Negative Thoughts because they contain no distortions. However, this question is actually a Hidden Should Statement, and a great example of Other Blame as well. You need to change rhetorical questions into statements, like: “It’s unfair that I’m always the last one to find out about anything. This shouldn’t happen all the time!” And, as you point out, it is also a gigantic Overgeneralization. Thanks, Vallejo! On the podcast, David will talk about some of the rules for generating Negative Thoughts. * * * David P asks: Do you think there is anything to be gained from a daily gratitude log, to go along with the daily mood log? Dr. Burns, I'm a big fan of your work, and have now finished "Feeling Great" and loved it. I know you approach depression from a clinical background, but do you think there is anything to be gained from a daily gratitude log, to go along with the daily mood log? It seems like my negative thoughts are automatic, and I have to work to counter them. Maybe, if I have to force myself to think of a few things I really am grateful in my life, instead of only focusing on countering the negative automatic thoughts, it would be beneficial? Also, is there a role for altruistic volunteering in alleviating depression? Thank you. david p Hi David P, Anything that works for you is strongly recommended. I do a lot volunteer teaching, and also treat therapists and students for free, and i enjoy that a great deal! So go for it and let me know if it is effective! I often feel grateful for a lot of things, and people, and animals, like our cat, who "almost" loves me! As for me, I never use non-specific, formulaic approaches that one practices over time, hoping some good will come from it. So I never prescribe meditation, a daily gratitude log, prayer, aerobic exercise, dietary considerations, vitamins, and so forth. You can do these things if you like, but they are not “therapy” to my way of thinking. I only use specific techniques to crush a patient’s unique negative thoughts of dysfunctional ways of communicating with others during conflicts. Therapy is a lot like learning to play the piano, or going to a tennis coach to improve your game. Specific practice is needed, not prayer, gratitude journals, or the like. And my focus is on high speed, total and lasting change right now, if possible. david * * * Harvey asks: I don’t see how Positive Reframing actually contributes to the therapy. Hi Dr Burns: Thank you for this great podcast. I was particularly impressed by and related to the idea of “Beating Up On Yourself.” I think it is so easy to fall into that trap. My question is that I don’t see how the positive reframing aspect of TEAM actually contributes to the therapy. Once you did the reframing with Neil, you didn’t seem to go back to it. So why is that a necessity thing to do? I understand that the positive side of negative thoughts could cause resistance to give up the negative thoughts, but that didn’t seem to be dealt with. Thank you so much for these podcasts and I have just started to read “Feeling Great”. Maybe you go into the positive reframing aspects and benefits more in the new book. Thanks, Harvey. Hi Harvey, The session you are referring to was a while back, but by memory my thinking was that the Positive Reframing was not a particularly powerful tool for Neil, and I think he thought that also. It is not the case that any one tool--and I have created / learned more than 100 methods--will be effective for everyone. That's why it's so great to have a huge palette of tools and techniques, so you can find the path forward for many patients, and not just a few! Some people think that if a technique is not helpful for one patient, then it is no good. Some people also think that one technique, like meditation, or exercise, or medication, should be "the answer" for everyone. My experience is radically different, and it is hard for me to even comprehend how people can get sucked into some of these notions--but they do! Positive Reframing is one of the great breakthroughs in TEAM-CBT, and it opens the door to ultra-rapid recovery. In fact, I usually (but not always) see a complete or near-complete elimination of negative feelings in one extended (two-hour) therapy session. Here are some reason why Positive Reframing can be helpful: When you see that your negative feelings are the expressions of your core values, rather than your defects, this reduces feelings of shame, so you might feel a little better right away. You don’t have to shoot for perfection, or complete recovery, but rather a reduction in your negative feelings. This is pretty sensible, and more realistic and relaxing than shooting for total change. In addition, you are no longer fighting against your negative thoughts and feelings.  Your resistance to change will diminish because you can honor your negative thoughts and feelings, and work to reduce them rather than thinking you have to change completely. You’re in control—the therapist is not trying to “sell you” on something. “Selling” nearly always triggers fairly strong resistance. You may suddenly see the benefits of many of your negative thoughts and feelings, so you no longer feel so “broken” or defective. When you "listen" and finally hear what your negative thoughts and feelings are trying to tell you, the volume and intensity of your negative thoughts and feelings will suddenly diminish, like a balloon with a hole in it. Thanks for listening today! Rhonda and David  

Ask David featuring four terrific Should questions, and more questions about “asinine, stupid, narcissistic, self-serving humans! “ Oliver asks: Can a thought be thought as moral or immoral? Vincent asks: I have suffered from depression for about 3 years and say to myself, "I should have gotten better sooner." Isn't this "should" appropriate? Charles says: Your concept of “no self” shot my anxiety way up and made me feel hopeless. . . . It makes me feel worse than before! Michelle asks: How is your requirement that new patients must agree to not make any suicide attempts for the rest of their lives any different to a “suicide contract” which you mention are not effective? Brian asks: I’ve done a few things that made me feel intensely guilty. . . . The knowledge that I didn’t do what I should have done led to a lot of guilt and shame, and eventually depression. Just wondering your thoughts on this Carrel asks: I'm a Democrat in Texas. How can we use disarming to heal the political rifts in our country? Natasha asks: How do I stop the dark thoughts of wishing harm to come to stupid humans who do asinine, narcissistic, self serving, irresponsible things—like driving massive, loud pickup trucks around the neighborhood, honking incessantly as they wave their 20 ft political flags; or bringing the family for a paddle boat ride in the local pond, taking delight in teaching their human offspring to paddle the boat as quickly as they can to chase after the beautiful, innocent geese and ducks trying earnestly and fearfully to swim to safety. and more.   Dear Dr. Burns, Can a thought be thought as moral or immoral? In many podcasts and articles, you use "Thou Shalt Not Kill" to demonstrate morally should statement, which is one of the 3 valid should statements in English. I'm still somewhat confused about this concept. To tell you where I get stuck, I come up with three thought experiments. Imagine the following situations in which a should statement may come to mind: Situation 1 Lisa stole some money from a grocery store. When arrested by police, Lisa said with tears, "I shouldn't have stolen money. I feel ashamed for what I have done." In this case, it is obvious that "I shouldn't have stolen money" is a morally should statement, and also a legally should statement, because Lisa did something that violates the law and her moral principle. DAVID’S COMMENT: YES, YOU ARE CORRECT. LISA’S STATEMENT CAN BE CLASSIFIED AS A LEGAL SHOULD AND A MORAL SHOULD. Situation 2 One day, Bob went to Walmart to buy a suit. When he was passing by a shelf, a thought appeared in her mind. "What would happen if I steal this suit? I really want it, but I have very little money." When he came back home, he talked to himself," I shouldn't have felt the urges to steal things. And I shouldn’t have thought about stealing the suit." DAVID’S COMMENT: THESE WOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED VALID SHOULD STATEMENTS BY MOST PEOPLE, SINCE WE HAVE FREEDOM OF THOUGHT. HUMAN BEINGS HAVE ALL KINDS OF FANTASIES AND URGES ALL THE TIME—AT LEAST I KNOW THAT I DO! AN URGE ONLY BECOMES IMMORAL OR ILLEGAL WHEN YOU ACT ON IT. HOWEVER, ALTHOUGH I DO NOT THINK THESE ARE VALID SHOULDS, BUT I TRY NOT TO IMPOSE MY VALUES ON OTHERS FOR THE MOST PART. I AM A SHRINK, SO I WORK WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE ASKING FOR HELP. FOR EXAMPLE, PEOPLE WITH OCD OFTEN PUNISH THEMSELVES JUST FOR HAVING “FORBIDDEN” THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, OR URGES. THE FIGHT TO CONTROL THEM IS THE ACTUAL CAUSE OF THE OCD. THE SHOULDS TYPICALLY MAKE THE PROBLEM WORSE, NOT BETTER. SELF-ACCEPTANCE CAN BE ONE OF MANY HELPFUL TREATMENT STRATEGIES. RELIGION CAN SOMETIMES BE A SOURCE OF OPPRESSIVE SHOULDS, ESPECIALLLY THE MORE FUNDAMENTALIST TYPES OF RELIGION. RIGIDITY MAY BE A PARTIALLY INHERITED TRAIT. FOR EXAMPLE, MANY RELIGIONS AROUND THE WORLD PROMOTE THE IDEA THAT HOMOSEXUALITY IS “WRONG” AND THAT PEOPLE “SHOULDN’T” HAVE URGES AND ATTRACTIONS TOWARD PEOPLE OF THE SAME GENDER. THIS IS AN AREA WHERE “SHOULD STATEMENTS” BECOME HIGHLY CONTROVERSIAL, AND ARE OFTEN A SOURCE OF HORRIFIC HATRED AND VIOLENCE, SOMETIMES IN THE NAME OF SOME “HIGHER POWER.” Situation 3 Lucy was buying fruits in a grocery store when she found that a man was taking an apple off the shelf and hiding it in his clothe! Obviously, the man was stealing an apple. Lucy was very angry and said, "the man shouldn't steal things from the store. It's not right!" In this case, Lucy didn't steal apples, the man did. But Lucy made a moral judgement about the man's behavior, not Lucy's behavior. Then is this should statement valid for Lucy? DAVID’S THINKING. TO MY WAY OF THINKING, YES THESE ARE VALID LEGAL SHOULDS AND MORAL SHOULDS, SINCE OUR CIVILIZATION (AND ALL CIVILIZATIONS) HAVE DECIDED THAT STEALING IS ILLEGAL, AND IS ALSO CONSIDERED MORALLY WRONG IN MOST RELIGIONS: “THOU SHALT NOT STEAL” IS, I THINK, ONE OF THE TEN COMMANDMENTS. THE GOAL IS NOT TO CLEAN UP YOUR SPEECH SO THAT YOU NEVER USE SHOULD STATEMENTS THAT DO NOT FIT INTO ONE OF THE THREE VALID CATEGORIES OF LEGAL SHOULDS, MORAL SHOULD, AND LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE SHOULDS. AT LEAST I HAVE NO INTEREST IN THAT. MY GOAL IS TO HELP PEOPLE WHO ARE SUFFERING BECAUSE OF SHOULD STATEMENTS. sincerely Oliver   Hi David, What is it with "shoulds" related to recovery from depression? I suffer from depression for about 3 years and say to myself "I should have gotten better sooner." Isn't this "should" appropriate? Because who really wants to suffer through this agony? Greetings from Geneva. Vincent Hi Vincent, "I wish I had gotten better sooner." This is a correct statement without the "should." This simple shift in language is called the Semantic Technique, and it was developed by Dr. Albert Ellis who kind of gave birth to cognitive therapy in the 1950s, along with Dr. Karen Horney about the same time. Instead of using a should, you use “it would be preferable if” or “I wish X was true.” In addition, it isn't actually true that you "should" have gotten better sooner! The universe does not always conform to our expectations. Just because we want something, it doesn't follow that it "should" happen. I'd love to have a new Tesla sports car, at least in fantasy, but it isn't true that I "should" have one. It would be “great” if you had gotten better sooner, that’s absolutely true. “I should have gotten better sooner.” That’s totally false. In addition, although one might think that no one would "want" depression, my research and new clinical work indicate that resistance is nearly always the key to recovery. In other words, people do cling to depression, anxiety, troubled relationships, and habits and addictions, but don’t realize why they are resisting change. Once you suddenly see why you are resisting, your resistance paradoxically disappears, and recovery is then just a stone’s throw away. You can learn more about this in my new book, Feeling Great, available now on Amazon. Thanks! PS let me know if you like the new book, and if you find it helpful! All the best, David   A new comment on the post "108: Do You Have a "Self?"" is waiting for your approval Author: Charles Dr. Burns, First off I want to say thank you. Your work has been helping me through my anxiety. However, I really struggled with this podcast. The concept of no self shot my anxiety way up and made me feel hopeless. It made me feel almost as if I was not real or that there is nothing worth striving for. I love helping people. But I feel like I don’t have a purpose if I don’t have a self. It makes me feel worse than before. David’s answer. Hi Charles, The “great death” of the self is a challenging concept, and while it is incredibly liberating, lots of people—most, in fact—don’t “get it.” Some get angry. Some struggle with trying to understand what this could possibly mean. And some find the concept very threatening. That’s why I deleted the chapter from my book. In fact, a couple extremely brilliant and interested colleagues totally couldn’t grasp it, and felt frustrated by my writing on the concept. sometimes, ideas are so simple and basic that people cannot grasp them. The Buddha ran into this problem 2500 years ago. People thought he was fantastic, but almost none of his followers experienced the enlightenment he was so excited to teach them. The 20th century philosopher, Ludwig Wittgenstein, ran into the same problem. He solve all the problems of philosophy, but when he was alive, it was rumored that only seven people in the world, including one of his favorite students, Norman Malcolm, could grasp what he was saying. He went in and out of intense depression and loneliness during his life, in part because of his frustration with trying to teach the obvious. In my book, Feeling Great, I teach that there are actually four “Great Deaths” for the patient, corresponding to recovery from depression, anxiety disorders, relationship conflicts, and habits and addictions. There are also four “Great Deaths” for TEAM therapists. Those sections might be helpful for you! In addition, I focus on the fact that people can never judge your “self,” only something specific that you think or do. Depression cannot exist on the specific level, only up in the clouds of abstraction. For example, Overgeneralization is one of the ten cognitive distortions I described in my first book, Feeling Good. When you Overgeneralize, you see a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat, and you might also Overgeneralize from some specific flaw or defect to your “self.” You will read about an attractive and vivacious young professional woman who had the thought, “I’m unloveable,” when her boyfriend of two years broke up with her. This is classic depression thinking, and “self” thinking. She thinks she has a “self” that can be loveable or unloveable. But this is simply not true, and it’s not productive, because she’ll spend all her time ruminating and feeling worthless. An alternative is to focus on why the (overall excellent) relationship didn’t work out, and what she can do to change and learn and grow, so as to make the next relationship even better. You can pick up on the details in the chapter on Overgeneralization if you’re interested! As I point out in Feeling Great, the “death of the self” is not like a funeral, it’ like an incredible celebration of life. Death of your old concept of what you are is liberating, and leads to instant rebirth. My teachings cannot make you happy or unhappy. Your thoughts about what I’m saying create all of your feelings, positive or negative. At any rate, thank you for a most important question that most of my audience will definitely related to. As an aside, I lost my “self” years ago, and what a relief that was. Sadly, it comes back to life from time to time, and then I struggle again, until I realize what’s happening. One day, what I’m saying may make sense! In the meantime, please accept my apologies concerning the “self!” If it gives you comfort to believe you have a “self,” no problem. But the “self” is just a concept, and not a “thing” that could exist or not exist. When you lose your precious and protected “self,” you lose nothing, because there was never anything there in the first place! But while you lose nothing, you do inherit the earth, as nearly all great religious leaders—Buddha, Jesus, and others—have taught us. David   Hi Dr. Burns, I’ve just listened to your podcast episode on suicide and found it really interesting and useful but I have a few questions. Firstly, how is your requirement that the patient agree to not make any suicide attempts for the rest of their life any different to a ‘suicide contract’ which you mention are not effective? Also, you talk about doing this assessment at the intake and making non-attempts a condition of therapy. If the patient/client agrees to this, why then do you continue to monitor suicidal thoughts in each session in the BMS? Presumably because the agreement is no guarantee of cessation of thoughts. Surely if you’ve told them it’s a condition of therapy with you to not make any attempts then they’d be likely to not tell you about them even if they occurred, and don’t see how setting the initial ground rule resolves the problem. And lastly, when suicidal thoughts, urges, or fantasies do come again in the BMS how do you handle it then? Do you tell them you’ll end therapy, say “but you promised”? Looking forward to your reply. Thanks, Michelle. Hi Michelle, I have scheduled your email for an upcoming ask david episode, and will use your first name unless you prefer that i use some other name. Here is a brief reply. Most patients with borderline personality disorder will become enraged by the gentle ultimatum at the initial evaluation, and if they decide this is not the type of therapy they want, so be it. The techniques I use will not be effective with patients who continue to threaten suicide. TEAM therapy requires TEAM work. Most, nearly all, patients will "get it" and will decide to continue with the therapy. They can have suicidal thoughts and urges, and we can work on them together in therapy. However, to my way of thinking, it is important that they therapist and patient be protected, in a safe environment. If the patient starts threatening to make a suicide attempt, then they will need another form of more intensive treatment like hospitalization, day care, or intensive outpatient treatment. These are options I cannot personally provide for them. I monitor suicidal urges before and after each session with every patient with no exceptions to protect the patient and to protect myself as well. Thanks! PS the suicide contract is an agreement not to attempt suicide "while we are working together." This is very weak, as the patient can suddenly decide he or she is dropping out of therapy and making a suicide attempt. And this often happens. My contract is more demanding, and intentionally so. Patients must also agree to do psychotherapy homework, too. Some patients want to make the therapist a hostage with suicide threats, which can and so work as a form of manipulation and hostility. Then the therapist is in an almost constant state of agitation, anxiety, and frustration. If I allow a patient to make my life miserable, how can I teach that patient how to be happy? We are all ONE—we go up and down together. If I allow you to make my life miserable, then I am allowing you to make your own life miserable, too. David   Hello David, Thank you so much for everything you do. I’ve listened to all of your podcasts, and read most of your books, and am very grateful for the changes you, Rhonda, Fabrice and the rest of the team have made to my life. I’ve just listened to this episode, and there’s one thing I’m struggling with, which is the concept of the moral should. I’ve done a few things that made me intensely guilty – one in particular was not standing by and supporting a friend who needed people when he was going through a particularly hard time. He was angry and disappointed with me, and, in hindsight, rightly so. He has since forgiven me but I still struggle with it. I feel that supporting him was a moral should. The knowledge that I didn’t do what I should have done led to a lot of guilt and shame, and eventually depression. You say that a moral should is valid; so therefore, I feel that my negative thoughts on this are not misguided but valid – I did something morally wrong and deserved to feel bad for it. Just wondering your thoughts on this. Thanks again, and keep up the good work! Hi Brian, thanks! Would love to include this on an Ask David, using just your first name, or even a fake name if you prefer. A quick response might be to ask how many minutes per day would you like to dedicate to feeling guilty? And for how many days, months, or years? In your spiritual or religious beliefs, is a person supposed to feel intensely guilty forever? Most of us have done things we are ashamed of, or feel guilty about. How much guilt and shame would you recommend for me, for example? And what is the goal of the guilt and shame? And how guilty would you recommend I feel, between 0% and 100%? That's one approach. Another approach would be A = Assessment of Resistance, listing what the guilt shows about you that's positive and awesome, and then asking yourself why in the world you'd want to let go of the guilt, given all the many real positives. Then you might validly decide to “dial it down” to some more acceptable level. For example, if you now feel 90% guilty, perhaps 15% or 20% would be enough. In addition, you could also decide how many minutes of guilt you would recommend. If you now feel guilty about eight hours a day, would 10 minutes be enough? If so, you could schedule your “guilt periods” ahead of time, and then really work hard at feeling guilty during those ten minutes. Then, when you’re done with your “guilt work,” you can return to joyous and loving living! Also, instead of one ten minute daily guilt binge, you could schedule, for example, three guilt binges, each three minutes long, in the morning, at lunch time, and in the evening, like three pills the doctor prescribed! David In reply to Dr. Burns. Hi Dr Burns, Thanks so much for your quick response! I really appreciate your advice; I will dedicate a bit of time today to approaching it the way you say. And also, I’d be delighted if you included it on a podcast! You can use my first name by all means. Thanks again! Brian   Comment from Carrel I'm a Democrat in Texas. How can we use disarming to heal the political rifts in our country? How does one find agreement across that ever-widening divide? Carrel David’s reply Hi Carrel, It’s really tough, for sure! Have you listened to my podcast on this topic? There is a search function on my website. If you type in “political divide,” this podcast will pop right up: “127: How Can We Communicate with Loved Ones on the Opposite Side of the Political Divide?” Let me know what you think! David David emphasizes the value of the search function. Often you can find your questions have already been addressed. In addition, the many podcasts on the Five Secrets of Effective Communication could be invaluable (links), and the emphasis would be on using the Disarming Technique to find some truth in what the other person is proclaiming and arguing for. But first, you have a decision to make, and this is always based on ONE person you may want to interact with. First, ask yourself if you do actually want a better relationship with person X, Y, or Z. There is no rule that says we have to get along better with everyone. I think that Joe Biden is doing a pretty good job of promoting unity, and not diverseness in our country. Hopefully, the forces of love and unity will win out over the forces of hatred and war, but it’s not at all clear what direction our country is heading for. And we’re seeing now that at times the tensions are become so intense, and the hatred so strong, that violence is once again on the increase. In the next Ask David we'll have a really cool session devoted to the intense anger that many of us feel when confronted by human behavior that strikes us as narcissistic, vicious, self-serving, and aggressive. This topic should appeal to lots of people! And we have a wonderful question from a woman who's feeling pretty darn enraged! David and Rhonda  

Overgeneralization is when we blow things vastly out of proportion. How can we slow that down and work through it? Resources: AA: www.aa.org SMART Recovery: https://www.smartrecovery.org/ SAMHSA (Fed Govt resources): www.samhsa.gov Remember: For today, I will not drink with you! Follow me on Twitter: twitter.com/MoreThanADrunk Shoot an email over: MoreThanADrunk@gmail.com

Brian Mayer welcomes you to this 3 part series on renovating your remarriage.  In part 1, we discuss how to be more aware of past issues that might be driving our reactions.  In part 2, we discuss how our thought processes, distortions, and biases play a role in our connection.  In part 3 we will discuss implementing new behaviors to complete the renovation.  We hope you are inspired by today's message.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com Today's Goodies Getting married again is not easy.  In fact I would say it is probably much more difficult to sustain a good marriage the next time around than it was the first time.  We often think we have learned from our mistakes and will do better the next time, but that is more often not the case.  You may be even in another marriage that feels like it is heading in the wrong direction or even getting close to divorce.  Again you are not alone and this is an extremely common place to be.  In this 3 part series, that we are calling Remarriage Rehab we are going to talk through steps to help get your remarriage not only back on track but pushed to a much healthier place than you ever thought it could go.  Now a couple of thoughts before we jump in today's session.  It was be highly beneficial if both you and your partner listened to these episodes together because you will get to your destination if you both are paddling together.  Of course marriages and relationship can change with just one person paddling, but it can be a bit of a slower process.  Secondly, if you are dealing any kind of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse then your safety of course trumps any of what we are going to talk about in this series.  So if that is the case, I want you to address any safety issues first but getting help from the appropriate authorities first.  All this being said, if your safety is assured then hopefully what we discuss over the next 3 sessions will be simple yet extremely powerful in moving you remarriage to a more healthy place.  In Remarriage Rehab Part 2, we will talk today about how cognitive distortions can filter the way we view something that is happening and can change our reaction in a more negative way.  You might be asking what a cognitive distortion is.  Well first before we describe what it is, you should know that we all have them to some degree or another because we are humans and imperfect.  A cognitive distortion is often described as a way of thinking that is often inaccurate and also tends toward being negatively biased.  There are lots of cognitive distortions and we will go over a few of the more common ones now.  Overgeneralization means that we reach a broad conclusion base on something occurring once or maybe even just a few times.  For example, if you and your spouse constantly argue about money, it maybe become so overwhelming that you start thinking you disagree about everything.  Catastrophizing is assuming the worst when faced with something that is unknown.  Often our minds will go down a rabbit trail and eventually down the rabbit hole that a worse case scenario is going to happen.  Personalization means that you are attributing blame for something entirely toward yourself or you could be blaming someone else.  An example, might be something like blaming yourself and how bad of a person you for not cooking dinner one night.  When in fact maybe there were all sorts of issues contributing to dinner not being able to be made.  Labeling is somewhat similar to personalization.  It occurs when say we mess something up, and we start to say we are a bad person.  Or maybe we get into too many arguments and we start saying our spouse is a jerk for example.  There are many more cognitive distortions but those are just a few that pop up in relationships.  So what do we do with these.  Let's talk about 3 practical things you can do to limit the effect on your life.  First, you must work to become aware that this is a possibility.  A good way to do this is to notice or become aware of your thoughts and how you are processing what you are perceiving.    Second notice if your mood has shifted negatively.  Are you feeling anxiety, anger, or fear for example.  If this is the case it may very well be that a cognitive distortion is occurring.  Finally, can you allow your mind to think about alternative possibilities.  The best example for doing this is assigning what you think the motivation is behind why someone is doing something.  Often we get the motivation completely incorrect.  It takes time to recognize when we are mentally in a somewhat distorted place but the more you do it the easier it will be.  We look forward to discussing installing new behaviors in our next session.      Resources: Free Shared Parenting Checklist The Remarried Life Facebook Group   Thanks For Listening! With so many things that take time in our lives, I more grateful than you know that you took time to listen to this podcast episode.  If you liked this episode and believe that it would be beneficial to a friend, family member, or colleague, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. The Remarried Life Facebook Group is a community of people just like you who get and give support.  Please join today!  ​ As always remember that marriage is not something you have, it is something you do.  Talk to you next week unless you are binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in about a minute!  Take care.

This is the third in our podcasts series on the best techniques to crush each of the ten cognitive distortions from my book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. Today, we focus on Overgeneralization. There are two common forms of Overgeneralization: You generalize from some specific flaw or failure to your "Self." So, instead of telling yourself that you failed at this or that, you tell yourself that you are "a failure" or "a loser." You generalize from right now to the future, using words like "always" or "never." For example, you may tell yourself, "Trisha (or Jack) rejected me. This always happens! I must be unlovable. I'll be alone forever." Overgeneralization is also one of the most common cognitive distortions, and it causes depression as well as anxiety. I believe it is impossible to feel depressed or hopeless without Overgeneralization. The antidote to Overgeneralization is called "Let's Be Specific." Instead of thinking of your self as a "bad mother" or "bad father," you can focus on the specific thing you did that regret, like shouting at your kids when you were upset. Then you can think of a specific plan to correct this problem, like talking things over with your kids and letting them know that you love them and feel badly that you snapped at them. David and Rhonda also talk about the idea that abstract concepts like "worthless" or "bad" or "worthwhile" or "good" human beings are meaningless. Good and bad thoughts, feelings and behaviors certainly exist, but there is no way to measure or judge the value of a human being. In the next podcast in this series, David and Rhonda will discuss the TEAM-CBT techniques that can especially helpful for the next distortion, Mental Filter and Discounting the Positive. David D. Burns, MD / Rhonda Barovsky, PsyD

This is the second in a series of podcasts by David and Rhonda focusing on the best techniques to crush each of the ten cognitive distortions I first published in my book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. Today, we focus on All-or-Nothing Thinking. that's where you look at the world in black-or-white categories, as if shades of gray do not exist. For example, if you're not a complete success you may tell yourself that you're a complete failure. All-or-Nothing Thinking is one of the most common cognitive distortions, and it causes or contributes to many common forms of emotional distress, including: perfectionism depression Social anxiety-- performance anxiety public speaking anxiety shyness hopelessness and suicidal urges anger, relationship conflicts, and violent urges habits and addictions and more However, this distortion can be also be helpful to you, and may reflect some of your core values. For example, your perfectionism shows that you have high standards, and won't settle for second-best may motivate you to work hard and do excellent work prevents you from glossing over your failures and mistakes intensifies your emotional life, which may feel like a glorious roller coaster ride, with intense ups (when you do well) and equally intense downs (when you fall short.) So, before you can challenge a negative thought with this, or any distortion, you'll have to decide why in the world you'd want to do that, given all the benefits of your negative thoughts and feelings. One of the possible down sides of All-or-Nothing Thinking is that it simply does not map onto reality. There is little in the universe that is 100% or 0%. Most of the time, or even all of the time, we're somewhere between 0% and !00%. For example, this podcast is not incredibly fantastic, or absolutely horrible. It is somewhere in-between, and will hopefully be of some value to you. While it clearly won't solve ALL of your problems, it may be a useful step forward. We describe a number of example of All-or-Nothing Thinking, including a physician who was trying to diet and ended up binging on a half gallon of ice cream, and a suicidal young woman with incredibly severe depression who was involved in self-mutilation. There are many ways of crushing the negative thoughts that contain All-or-Nothing Thinking, including Thinking in Shades of Gray. Although that might sound rather drab in comparison to the drama of All-or-Nothing Thinking, you may discover that the world becomes far more colorful when you learn to think in shades of gray! In the next podcast in this series, David and Rhonda will discuss the TEAM-CBT techniques that can especially helpful for the next distortion, Overgeneralization. David argues that Overgeneralization is arguably the cause of all depression and much anxiety, and that the first person to recognize and solve this dilemma was the Buddha, 2500 years ago. More on that topic next week! David D. Burns, MD / Rhonda Barovsky, PsyD  

With the "Shelter in Place" orders in California, we are recording these podcasts from our homes instead of from the Murietta Studios.  The sound quality may not be as high as usual while we are learning to use the new technology. (I apologize for the echo in this week's podcast. It won't be there again-Rhonda) Let us know what you think!  Thank you, David & Rhonda David and Rhonda are joined again in today’s podcast by Jeremy Karmel, who is working with David on the new Feeling Great app. In our first Corona Cast, we promised to present an example of how TEAM-CBT can be helpful for individuals who feel depressed and anxious about the personal impact of the pandemic. Rhonda kick starts today’s session by describing her treatment with a patient we're calling Alice just a few days ago. Alice woke up feeling stressed and having trouble settling in and getting to work. If you click here, you can see how she filled out the first few steps of the Daily Mood Log just before the start of her session with Rhonda. The Upsetting Event was simply waking up and feeling out of sorts. She circled and rated her negative emotions, which were fairly intense, especially the feelings of depression, anxiety, inadequacy, despair, frustration. Her anxiety was only minimal, but she was also feeling tremendously "jittery." Why was Alice feeling so upset? Her feelings didn't result from the corona virus epidemic, but from her thoughts about it. As you can see, she was telling herself: 1.      This could be the new normal. 2.      My life is going to waste. 3.      I should be handling this better. 4.      I could catch the virus and die. 5.      No one is in charge. She strongly believed all of these thoughts except #4, which she only believed 40%. You may recall that in order to feel upset, two things must be true: You must have one or more negative thoughts on your mind. You must strongly believe these thoughts. How are we going to help Alice? In the old days, I would have jumped right in to help Alice challenge her Negative Thoughts, but now we have a far more powerful and systematic approach called TEAM-CBT, as most podcast fans probably already know! These are the four steps of TEAM-CBT: T = Testing. Rhonda tested how Alice was feeling at the start and end of the session. E = Empathy. Rhonda provided warmth and support without trying to "help" or "cheer-lead." A = Assessment of Resistance. This is one of the unique aspects of TEAM-CBT, and it's the secret of ultra-rapid recovery. Rhonda used the Miracle Cure Question, Magic Button, Positive Reframing, and Magic Dial to bring Alice's "resistance" to change to conscious awareness, then quickly reduced it before trying to "help." M = Methods. Rhonda helped Alice identify the many cognitive distortions in her thoughts. For example, her first Negative Thought, "This could be the new normal," was an example of All-or-Nothing Thinking, Overgeneralization, Mental Filtering, Discounting the Positive, Fortune Telling, and Emotional Reasoning. The goal of the M = Methods phase is to crush the Negative Thoughts that  are upsetting you. Do you know how to do this? You have to come up with a Positive Thought that has two characteristics: It must be 100% true. Positive affirmations and rationalizations and half truths are worthless. Cognitive therapy is based on the Biblical idea the "The truth shall set you free." The Positive Thought must drastically reduce your belief in the Negative Thought you've recorded on your Daily Mood Log, and ideally your belief in it will go all the way to zero. In fact, the very instant you stop believing the Negative Thought, your feelings will change, and often quite dramatically. Rhonda helped Alice challenge her Negative thoughts with a powerful technique called the Externalization of Voices. For example, Alice was telling herself that "I should be handling this better" because she'd been having trouble adjusting to the home isolation and had been procrastinating instead of focusing on her writing, and she was also telling herself that "My life is going to waste," thinking she'd be procrastinating and feeling miserable forever: "The new normal." The Positive Thought that crushed it was, "I have a lot of experience as a self-starter, and I've got eight weeks of free time now to write, which is pretty awesome. In addition, I can give myself a break, instead of putting myself down, and give myself a little to regroup!" After all, there are hundreds of millions of people around the world who are feeling isolated and in distress, and probably most of them aren't being nearly as productive as they usually are, but clearly, that isn't going to go on forever! Instead of putting yourself down, you can give yourself some support and encouragement, in exactly the same way you might talk to a dear friend. Once Alice crushed her Negative Thoughts with strong Positive Thoughts, her feelings suddenly changed. Although the session was only one hour long, Alice experienced incredible improvements in how she felt, thanks to Rhonda's compassion and skillful guidance. Alice's depression went from 95 to 5, and her anxiety dropped from 95 all the way to zero. The rest of her negative feelings dropped to very low levels or zero as well. Did it last? Long-term follow-up isn't possible for such a recent session, but she did call Rhonda the next morning to say that she woke up Feeling Great . . . which is the name of my new book, due for release in September. You can see the cover below! If you want, pre-ordering on Amazon may be available by the time you hear this podcast. In next week's Corona Cast 3, we will switch our focus to the impact of the pandemic on personal relationships, using a real example of a young woman named Zeina who felt her mother, aged 72, was not being sufficiently careful about social distancing. Zeina felt panicky because she feared her mother would get the virus and die. They ended up arguing and feeling frustrated with each other. We will illustrate a sophisticated TEAM-CBT technique called "Forced Empathy" that brought tears to Zeina's eyes, and we'll also talk to you about how you can improve your relationships with friends and loved ones as well during these challenging times. Thanks for tuning in, and let us know what you thought about today’s program! Until next time, Rhonda, Jeremy, and David  

We're looking here at the most common Thinking Traps, especially the ones that cause mental distress.  Cognitive Distortions vs. Cognitive Biases The difference between Thinking Traps (Cognitive Distortions) and Thinking Errors (Cognitive Biases) is that Thinking Traps result in difficult emotions, in mental distress, and in psychopathology. Cognitive Biases are more broadly related to an inaccurate perception of reality. Some examples of Cognitive Biases are the Availability Heuristic, the Empathy Gap, Anchoring. Thinking Traps: Thinking in Extremes 1. Black-and-White Thinking (also: Polarized Thinking, All-or-Nothing Thinking, Splitting, Dichotomous Reasoning); 2. Overgeneralization; 3. Mental Filter (also: Filtering, Selective Abstraction); 4. Discounting the Positive (also: Disqualifying the Positive); and, 5. Magnification (also: Awfulizing, Catastrophizing) Antidotes 1. Thinking in Shades of Gray 2. Examine the Evidence 3. Externalization of Voices 4. Double-Standard Technique 5. Semantic Method

Today I want to increase your awareness of overgeneralizing. Join us and devote less than 10 minutes of your day to connect to your inner power. Don't forget to subscribe so you can be up to date on all your affirmation episodes launching every weekday morning before 5am! If you would like to connect with me, follow me on Instagram @affirmyourabundance or go to my website directly at AffirmYourAbundance.com I look forward to working with you. xo. Tiffany Roldan Howell

In this first episode, Dr. Perry talks about thinking traps, adding a spiritual twist. She discusses 4 main spiritual thinking traps that impact your mood and decisions. She offers tips on how to address them, answers frequently asked questions and offers a prayer to begin to take these thoughts captive. Scripture References: *2 Cor. 10:5 - HCSB *Matt Chapter 20 - HCSB Time Stamps:   0:45  -   Show orientation   1:42  -   Spiritual thinking traps introduction (2 Cor. 10:5 HCSB)   4:08  -   Spiritual thinking trap #1 with tip/Fallacy of Fairness    6:36  -   Spiritual thinking trap #2 with tip/Control Fallacy   9:13  -   Spiritual thinking trap #3 with tip/Fallacy of Change 11:56  -   Spiritual thinking trap #4 with tip/Overgeneralization  14:05  -   Dr. Q’s Couch (Dr. Perry answers listener or FAQ) 16:08  -   Dear God prayer 

Heey! Сегодня разбираем довольно сложную тему — как справиться с депрессией? Scripts: how to cope with depression — как справиться с депрессией Depression drains your energy, hope, and drive, making it difficult to take the steps that will help you to feel better. = Депрессия высасывает твою энергию, надежду и драйв, мешая тебе предпринимать шаги, которые могли бы улучшить самочувствие. ‘[My fans] know that I’ve struggled with depression, and that helped them to get over theirs. = Мои фанаты знают, что я страдала от депрессии, и это помогло им преодолеть свою. That gives me a big purpose – a reason to wake up in the morning that’s bigger than to put on my feathers and my little outfits. = Это дает мне большую цель – причину, по которой я просыпаюсь по утрам, причину, которая гораздо важнее всех тех перьев и маленьких нарядов, которые я надеваю. “[The depression diagnosis] kind of hit me like a sack of bricks. = Диагноз “депрессия” обрушился на меня как мешок с кирпичами. I mean, I was 25 years old. I had dogs that I loved and tons of friends, and I was getting adoration from fans and I was happy with my work, but I couldn’t figure out what it was; it doesn’t always make sense in my point. = Мне было 25. У меня были собаки, которых я обожал и тонны друзей, поклонники мной восхищались, и мне нравилась моя работа, но я не мог понять, что не так. Мне кажется, депрессия не всегда имеет смысл. It’s not just people who can’t find a job or can’t fit in society that struggle with depression sometimes. = От депрессии могут страдать не только люди, которые не могут найти работу или свое место в обществе. Record Your Negative Thoughts = Запишите свои негативные мысли. Identify the Distortions = Определите искажения. All-or-Nothing Thinking. = Мышление “все или ничего Overgeneralization. = Чрезмерное обобщение. Mental Filter. = Мысленный фильтр. ××× MAXIMUM English у тебя в кармане Наш сайт: eng.maximumtest.ru/ ТikTok: vm.tiktok.com/Ldktpw/ Instagram: instagram.com/maximumenglish Блог: https://blog.maximumtest.ru/post/moti...... #maximumeng_podcast

Today I am going to continue going through cognitive distortions. Like defense mechanisms, a cognitive distortion is a habit of mind that we rapidly deploy to convince ourselves how right we are in our understanding of the circumstances around us, for the purpose of reducing our perception of distress. For more on defense mechanisms download and listen to the previous episodes. Short of a life-threatening situation it is wise to second guess what your brain is telling you. Our minds have developed a habit of making connections between thoughts, ideas, actions, and consequences to help us draw conclusions and make assumptions. However, sometimes these connections are made with incomplete information, and therein lies the problem. Cognitive distortions are the biased perspectives we take on ourselves and the world around us. They are irrational thoughts and beliefs that we have unknowingly reinforced over time. The first step to behaving rationally is to be aware of our biases and work to achieve a balanced perspective. Over generalization is when we assume one instance is representative of all similar situations. This can become especially pronounced in instances of anxiety and depression. Over generalization and mental filtering are among the most difficult depressive symptoms to treat, and they can lead to an entrenched negative thought pattern. For example: Perhaps you gave a poor performance once, then you assume and believe that all subsequent performances will be equally bad. Over generalization can cut both ways for example: In the area of sex, you may have an instance in which you fail to rise to the occasion and then you perpetuate this anxiety and create a self-fulfilling prophecy: you fool yourself into a confirmatory bias. You try again but you are so anxious that you do not become aroused and you reinforce your cognitive distortion that you are impotent. Or perhaps you made an investment against all odds that happens to pan out, and now you are convinced that you are the new oracle and Buffett better look out. When the investment does not pan out again you use all sorts of mental gymnastics (like defense mechanisms and other cognitive distortions) to convince yourself the loss was abnormal, and you try to repeat the irrational behavior again. Depending on your mental rigidity you may become stuck in this self-sabotaging pattern. So how do you overcome this irrational behavior so that you can be the stud you really are, so you can cut your losses, sell your losers, and regain your mojo? Step 1 Recognize your thought pattern? Write down the belief that this driving your behavior. Step 2 Challenge your belief. Ask yourself if what you are convinced of is actually true? What evidence do you have to support your conviction? What would someone else say about your conviction? Have you had an alternative experience? Could you possibly envision an alternative scenario? Step 3: Replace your thought pattern be it overly negative or excessively rosy. Rather than thinking you are terrible lover who will never get it up again, consider the possibility that perhaps you ate too much or drank too much? There is nothing like a big meal and alcohol to divert the blood flow from your penis to your stomach and liver. Similarly, rather than think you are the new oracle, recognize that perhaps there was an unusual occurrence in the market that led to your isolated return on investment, and the market really does prefer predictability. As they say of investing advice past performance is not indicative of future results. Your past falter is not a guarantee of future falter. Over generalizing can cause you to adopt some views that are incongruent with your moral compass for example a person of a particular race, faith, ideology, treated you in a certain way and then you forever more assume that a --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/raymond-zakhari/support

Rajesh asked: Is it possible to change an SDB? Does the mere knowledge of an SDB change it? How long does it take to change an SDB? How do you change SDBs? Nikola asked: Aaron Beck said the SDBs never really go away. They just get activated and deactivated and activated again. Does this mean that depression is an incurable disease that will keep coming back over and over again? What’s the point in battling against a core belief if it cannot be changed? Fabrice and I appreciate your questions--they often give us ideas for shows! In today’s Podcast you'll learn the answers to several questions about Self-Defeating Beliefs. What’s the difference between Self-Defeating Beliefs (SDBs) vs. Cognitive Distortions? The thoughts that contain cognitive distortions, such as All-or-Nothing Thinking, Overgeneralization, Discounting the Positive, and Self-Blame are distortions of reality, they are the cons that trigger depression and anxiety. When you're upset, these thoughts will flood your mind. These thoughts can be show to be false, and when you crush a distorted negative thought, you'll immediately feel better. Self-Defeating Beliefs are stipulations, values that you've set up for your self. For example, you may base your self-esteem on your accomplishments due to your belief that people who accomplish more are more worthwhile as human beings. SDBs like this cannot actually be shown to be false--they are simply your personal, subjective values, and they are thought to be with you all the time, and not just when you're depressed, anxious, or angry. The question with an SDB is this: What are the advantages and disadvantages of having this value system? How will it help me--what are the benefits--and how might it hurt me? What's the downside? Why are Self-Defeating Beliefs thought to be important? When you challenge and defeat a distorted thought, you feel better in the here-and-now. When you challenge and change an SDB, you change your value system at a deep level. This is thought to make you less vulnerable to painful mood swings and relationship conflicts in the future. What are the different kinds of SDBs? David’s list of 23 Common SDBs is attached. This list is not comprehensive, as there are many more, but the ones on the list are very common. There are several categories of SDBs. Individual SDBs are often “Self-Esteem Equations” Perfectionism Perceived Perfectionism Achievement Addiction Approval Addiction Love Addiction Interpersonal SDBs are expectations of what will happen in certain kinds of relationships, or relationships in general What’s your understanding of the other person’s role in your relationship? What adjectives describe him or her? What’s your understanding of your person’s role in the relationship? What adjectives describe you? How would that kind of relationship feel? What rules connect the two roles? Other kinds of SDBs Anger / conflict cluster Entitlement Truth Blame Anxiety cluster Niceness Conflict Phobia Anger Phobia Emotophobia Submissiveness Spotlight Fallacy Brushfire Fallacy How can you identify your own, or a patient’s, Self-Defeating Beliefs? Look at the list of 23 individual SDBs (easiest). You might want to do that right now. Review the list, and you'll probably find many of your own beliefs! Individual Downward Arrow Interpersonal Downward Arrow  

This week we discussed cognitive distortions with Adam Borechy. Usually cognitive behavioral therapists deal with cognitive distortions by helping their clients identify habitual negative thoughts and and putting those thoughts on trial. We don’t have to accept every thought that passes through our brains as truth. When we have distressing thoughts, it can be helpful to consider if we might be telling ourselves the full truth about a situation. We refer to common cognitive distortions—depression, anxiety, feelings of failure, negative thoughts when interacting with people, social anxiety—and we see how they are applying to our thought process. For a PDF of the cognitive distortions and a 8 days journal task towards better identifying them in your life, please see my resource page. In this 8 day journey you will better identify your own troubling thoughts and move towards gratitude. Here are a list of the cognitive distortions: All or nothing thinking: things are black and white, completely without shades of gray.  For example you may think, “If I am not perfect, I should not try at all, because then I would fail completely.” Or you might think, “My significant other is completely evil.” And then the next day, “My significant other is perfect.”   Overgeneralization: generalizations are made without context, experience or evidence.  “I am always alone.”  Or “Everyone hates me.”  “I never win.” Always? Never?  Everyone? It happens absolutely all the time, without exceptions? In the moment, it can feel like that, but those statements are actually rarely true. Speaking truth to yourself in this case might look like: I am sometimes alone, several people are upset at me, I win sometimes, even if I didn’t this time. Mental Filter: focusing on the negative rather than the whole picture. After receiving multiple positive statements and one negative statement, all you focus on is the negative statement.   Disqualifying the positive: When you do something good like get a compliment or award, you instantly find ways to make less of it! For example, if someone says, “You are looking good today,” but instantly you assume that person is giving you a false compliment.   Jumping to conclusions (without evidence): reaching conclusions (usually negative) without little evidence. ind reading: assuming you know what the person is thinking about you.  Connection occurs from accurately knowing another, and with mindreading you blind yourself without evidence. Fortune telling: predicting negative things in the future.  For example you think “I am going to fail this test even if I study,” so you don’t try, don’t study, and don’t even show up. Magnification or Minimization: you make some weakness of yours much larger than it is or a strength much less than it really is. For example you see your friends as beautiful whereas you see your own beauty as very average. Emotional Reasoning: believe that your feelings reflect reality. For example, “I feel stupid, therefore I am.” or “I feel fearful of flying in planes therefore they must be dangerous,” or “I feel ugly therefore I am ugly despite what others tell me.”   Shoulding: a thing that you believe you should or should not do, often created to try to maintain an image of yourself which is more in line with social pressures. For example, “I should be perfect,” “I should never cry,” “I should always win,” “I should be able to do this on the first try.” Personalization: blaming oneself for a bad event without looking at external factors that contributed to the bad event. Attributing personal responsibility to things that you have no control over, or when you do not see all the things that caused something. For example, a friend is upset so you think it is something you caused or are responsible for.   Error Messages: thoughts that are like obsessive compulsive disorder due to having thoughts that are repetitive, intrusive and not meaningful.  Join David on Instagram: dr.davidpuder Twitter: @DavidPuder Facebook: DrDavidPuder Personal Website: www.DavidPuder.com IOS Emotion Connection App Co-host: Adam Borecky Editor: Trent Jones *This podcast is for informational purposes only and is the opinions of the people on this episode.  For full disclaimer go here.  

The Dark Night of the Soul (Part 1) The first live therapy podcasts with Mark (the man who felt like a failure as a father: podcasts 29 – 35) were enormously popular, and many people have asked for more. David and Fabrice were delighted with your responses, so the next three podcasts will feature a therapy session with Marilyn by David and his highly-esteemed colleague and co-therapist, Dr. Matthew May. These three podcasts will include the entire session plus commentary the session unfolds. We are extremely grateful to Marilyn for her courage and generosity in making this extremely private and intensely personal experience available to all of us. I believe the session will touch your heart, inspire you, and give you courage in facing any problems and traumas that you may be struggling with. According to the theory behind cognitive therapy, people are disturbed not be events, but rather by the ways we think about them. This notion goes back nearly 2,000 years to the teachings of the Greek Stoic philosopher, Epictetus, who emphasized the incredible importance of our thoughts—or “cognitions”—in the way we feel. Fifty years ago, this notion gave rise to a new, exciting, drug-free treatment for depression called “cognitive therapy,” which was based on this basic notion: When you CHANGE the way you THINK, you can CHANGE the way You FEEL—quickly, and without drugs. That’s why I wrote my first book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, because I was so excited about this notion and the powerful new “cognitive therapy” that was rapidly emerging. The idea behind cognitive therapy is simple. When you’re upset, you’ve probably noticed that your mind will be flooded with negative thoughts. For example, when you’re depressed, you may be beating up on yourself and telling yourself that you’re a loser, and when you’re anxious you’re probably thinking that something terrible is about to happen. However, it may not have dawned on you that your thoughts are the actual cause of your negative feelings. In addition, you’re probably not aware that your negative thoughts will nearly always be distorted, illogical, or just plain unrealistic. In Feeling Good, I said that depression and anxiety are the world’s oldest cons, because you’re telling yourself things that simply are not true. In that book, I listed the ten cognitive distortions, such as All-or-Nothing Thinking, Overgeneralization, and hidden Should Statements, that trigger negative feelings. In the years since I first published Feeling Good, my list of cognitive distortions has gone worldwide, and is used by enormous numbers of mental health professionals in the treatment of individuals struggling with depression and anxiety. The notion that depression, anxiety, and event anger result entirely from your thoughts, and not upsetting events or circumstances external events is enormously liberating, because we usually cannot change what’s actually happening, but we can learn to change the way we think—and feel. But a lot of people don’t buy, or understand, this notion which seems to fly in the face of common sense. For example, you might argue that when something genuinely horrible happens, such as failure, losing a loved one, or being diagnosed with terminal cancer, it is the actual event and not your thoughts, that triggers your negative feelings. And you might also argue, perhaps even with some irritation, that your thoughts are definitely not distorted, since the actual event—such as the cancer—is real. Would you agree? I know that’s what I used to think! The next three podcasts will give you the chance to examine your thinking on this topic, because Marilyn is struggling with a negative event that is absolutely real and devastating. As the session with begins, Marilyn explains that she was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 (terminal) lung cancer, which came as a total shock, especially since she’d never smoked. As Drs. Burns and May go through the T = Testing and E = Empathy phases of the TEAM-CBT session, they learn that Marilyn has been struggling with extreme levels of depression, anxiety, shame, loneliness, hopelessness, demoralization, and anger, to mention just a few of her negative feelings. If you’d like, you can review a pdf of the Brief Mood Survey and Daily Mood Log that Marilyn completed just before the session began. You will see that her negative thoughts focus on several themes, including Her fears of cancer, pain, and death. Her thoughts of spiritual inadequacy, doubting her belief in God, wondering if there really is an afterlife, feeling that she’s not spiritual enough, and thinking that she’s perhaps been duped by religions. Her feelings of incompleteness at never having had a truly loving life partner. Her feelings of self-criticism, beating up on herself for excessive drinking during her life. Click here for Marilyn's Brief Mood Survey, pre-session. Click here for Marilyn's Daily Mood Log. The next Feeling Good Podcast with Marilyn will include the A = (Paradoxical) Agenda Setting phase of the TEAM therapy session, and will include the Miracle Cure Question, the Magic Button, the stunning Positive Reframing Technique, and the Magic Dial. The third and final podcast will include the M = Methods phase, including Identify the Distortions, the Paradoxical Double Standard Technique, Externalization of Voices, and Acceptance Paradox, end of session testing, and wrap-up. Although the subject matter of these podcasts is exceptionally grim and disturbing, we believe that Marilyn’s story may transform your thinking and touch your heart in a deeply personal way. Because Marilyn is a deeply spiritual person who suddenly finds herself without hope and totally lost, we have called part one, The Dark Night of the Soul.

Common thought distortions that trigger negative feelings: All-or-Nothing Thinking, Overgeneralization, Mental Filter, and Discounting the Positive.

In today's sojourn into the world of therapy we explore why complaining is bad for you, how anxiety is hard wired into the brain and look at yet more worrying potential side effects of vaping. The anxiety research Laufer O, Israeli D and Paz R (2016) Behavioral and Neural Mechanisms of Overgeneralization in Anxiety Current Biology In Press The e-cigarette research Allen JG, Flanigan SS, LeBlanc M, Vallarino J, MacNaughton P, Stewart J H Christiani DC (2016) Flavoring Chemicals in E-Cigarettes: Diacetyl, 2, 3-Pentanedione, and Acetoin in a Sample of 51 Products, Including Fruit-, Candy-, and Cocktail-Flavored E-Cigarettes Environmental Health Perspectives In Press

Hey guys, it’s Aime Lynn with Flipswitch’s Erasing Negative Thoughts segment. On each edition of Erasing Negative Thoughts, we identify one way of "stinkin thinkin" and show how it’s more often than not, either completely untrue or extremely exaggerated. On this edition of Erasing Negative Thoughts, we’ll cover the thinking pattern known as Overgeneralization. This one’s a biggy. It’s not, “I messed up this one time on this project. Oh no. I mess up EVERY on EVERY project.” It’s not, “I’m not going out tonight with my friends.” It’s, “I NEVER go ANYWHERE at all.” You made a bad grade on a test? Is it because you ALWAYS fail no matter what you do? These are just few examples of overgeneralization. Overgeneralization occurs when you take one single event and infer from it a pattern of life that is almost always true, regardless of how much evidence to the contrary there is. You can usually tell when overgeneralization is going on because examples often make use of words like “always” “never” or “every”: words that extend one isolated incident to every incident that has ever happened to you. But overgeneralization is pretty easy to disprove. “My Mother never lets me do anything!” HIGHLY unlikely. I mean, she lets you go to school. She lets you take bath. Etc. Maybe not always what you want, but then again, who gets to do everything they want? You always fail? You formed a sentence to convey the meaning that you always fail. That’s a success. By definition, you’ve already disproved that you always fail on tests. Assuming that you’re talking about failing one test in 8th grade math, the fact that you were passed to 8th grade likely means you didn’t fail at least what was necessary to get that far. And on and on. It’s very rare that claims that use words like “always” or “never” are true, so why are you thinking that way? Many other distorted ways of thinking are sub-forms of overgeneralization. ' And we’ll talk about those more in the coming weeks. For now, stop ALWAYS beating up on yourself. You NEVER give yourself a break. (Hey, if you can do it, so can I!) Join us next time for another way to start Erasing Negative Thinking.