Podcast appearances and mentions of signe whitson

What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can't wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour Most of us hear “bullying” and picture a sand-kicking, lunch-money-stealing menace. But today's bullying can take other forms. Research by Dr. Charisse Nixon shows that about 7% of kids report experiencing physical aggression once a week— but that HALF of kids report experiencing relational aggression at least once a month.  On the other hand, as bullying expert Signe Whitson explains, some things get termed “bullying” that are more correctly described as mean or rude. Knowing the difference as parents will help our children navigate these waters more effectively.  In this episode we discuss how to help our children understand what bullying is, plus how to know if our kids are being bullied themselves— since it's the kids who are truly frightened and struggling who are often the most likely not to tell us.  We also discuss whether, how much, and in what ways parents should intervene— somewhere in the middle ground between “so find new friends!” and beating the bully up yourself. (Spoiler alert: don't do either of those things.)  Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Katie Hurley for Washington Post On Parenting: "What does childhood anxiety look like? Probably not what you think." Katie Hurley for PBS Kids: What to Do If Your Child Is Being Bullied Sherri Gordon for Very Well Family: 7 Tips for Helping Kids Deal With Being Ostracized Sumathi Reddy for WSJ: Little Children and Already Acting Mean Signe Whitson for Huffington Post: Rude Vs. Mean Vs. Bullying: Defining The Differences Louis Sachar: There's a Boy in the Girls' Bathroom  Join Our Facebook Group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid's behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, bullying, bullies, bullied Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I get a lot of requests for different topics to cover on this show, and bullying is a theme that has come up multiple times. And understandably, since we know that children and teens with learning disabilities, ADHD, autism, are much more likely to experience bullying and social rejection. And we know that being on the receiving end of bullying can be traumatic and have long-lasting negative impacts. So I reached out to Ginger Whitson, an author, mental health professional, educator, and expert educator on bullying, crisis intervention, and child and adolescent emotional and behavioral health and invited her to join me on the show. Because the concept of bullying evokes such strong feelings and likely a lot of misunderstanding about what even qualifies as bullying, that's where I asked Ginger to start — what exactly IS bullying? And does the bullying today's kids and teens experience look and feel different from back when we were in school? I mean, with the addition of technology, it just feels like a completely different ball game. I also asked Ginger to guide us on how we should best respond if our child tells us they're being bullied, if there are ways we can “bully proof” our kids, and how we can preemptively prepare them so they feel they have a plan for dealing with negative behavior from other kids. In addition to her important work with children and her books, including Friendship & Other Weapons: Group Activities to Help Young Girls Aged 5-11 to Cope with Bullying and The 8 Keys to End Bullying Activity Program Workbook, Ginger, whose work can be found under the name Signe Whitson, is also the C.O.O. of the Life Space Crisis Intervention (LSCI) Institute, an international training program that helps adults turn problem situations into learning opportunities for young people who exhibit challenging behaviors.   About Signe Whitson (Ginger) Signe Whitson (Ginger) is an author, educator, and mental health professional with 25 years of experience working with children, adolescents, and families. She is also the C.O.O. of the Life Space Crisis Intervention (LSCI) Institute, an international training program that helps adults turn problem situations into learning opportunities for young people who exhibit challenging behaviors.   Things you'll learn: What bullying looks like today, taking into consideration the technology our kids use and other changes society has gone through in past decades A definition of bullying and what's at stake for a child experiencing bullying Essential strategies parents should follow if their child has been or is being bullied Characteristics or traits that make kids more likely to be bullied How to talk with kids who have a heightened sense of rejection about bullying and social rejection Ways to bully-proof our kids and resources we can share with them How we can all contribute to raising more empathetic kids   Resources mentioned: Signe Whitson's website 8 Keys to End Bullying on Facebook 8 Keys to End Bullying: Strategies for Parents & Schools by Signe Whitson The 8 Keys to End Bullying Activity Book for Kids & Tweens: Worksheets, Quizzes, Games, & Skills for Putting the Keys Into Action by Signe Whitson How to Be Angry: Strategies to Help Kids Express Anger Constructively by Signe Whitson Odd Girl Out, Revised and Updated: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls by Rachel Simmons Rosalind Wiseman Queen Bees and Wannabes, 3rd Edition: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boys, and the New Realities of Girl World by Rosalind Wiseman Dr. Robyn Silverman Explains How to Talk to Kids About Anything (Tilt Parenting podcast)   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Setting Boundaries with Teens to Stop Weight Bullying First on the playlist for the week is "We're not gonna take it" by Twisted Sister, a real get you pumped up to set some powerful boundaries with bullies 80's rock song. Video is hilarious too in case you want to transport yourself back to the 80’s. When it comes to setting boundaries, are you an avoidant or compliant or are you an aggressive or manipulative controller? I doubt you're a controller if you are reading this blog, and most likely are an avoidant or compliant who doesn't want to deal with conflict or hasn't been taught the skill of setting a boundary. I get you. That's where I've been most of my life, especially when it comes to setting boundaries for myself. You are worthy of setting boundaries. Sometimes teens don’t want to share if they are being bullied, let alone set a boundary and speak up. Boundary setting is self-love superpower. Setting boundaries and following through creates self-trust that you have your own back. Did you know we were created to set boundaries? Setting boundaries is a part of living a healthy life and I'm not talking about food boundaries or being strict and rigid with boundaries. I love the book, “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend. Check it out! How do you decide when and in what situations to set boundaries? What are the different kinds of boundaries you can set? I guarantee you are setting boundaries even when you don't think you are. Sitting in class, Jill couldn’t help but feel someone staring at her. She turned her head and he was staring right at her, the kid with his hoodie on, sitting behind and diagonally to her, just watching her. So creepy. Jill could literally almost feel his breathing. Her Mom said, “Maybe he likes you.” “Um, no. He’s trying to make a statement about me being fat.” “How do you know that?” “I just know.” “Did you talk to the teacher about it?” “Yes, I tried anyway, but she said to ignore it and it will stop. But, that hasn’t worked. All I want to do is just sit in class in peace and it’s so hard to focus when someone keeps staring at me.” Jill (not her real name) was a patient of mine and I was so sad that she was being bullied sitting in class. How creepy and distracting! Keep reading this blog and you’ll see how the IME Community teen members suggested coaching Jill to set boundaries. Our society and culture lack boundaries because of the entitled belief that it’s okay to openly comment on another person’s body. The reality is humans can be harsh and boundaryless at times and we all experience aggression toward us in our life as part of our common humanity. I know if you’re reading this, you’ll agree with me that it’s not okay to weight bully anyone. Bullies are cowards. It’s true. What’s also true is, you don’t have to fix or solve the bully or change yourself in any way. You don’t cause or control all the things in life. If you spend your time thinking that it shouldn’t be happening and hope the bully will wake up and be a decent human and stop bullying, you may be wasting your time. Also, if you’re spending time wishing it wasn’t happening when it is, that won’t help either. What you can control is how you show up to create self-trust that you will have your own back. Another truth is you are not powerless and you can create boundaries to stop the bullying for you. I know what you’re thinking because I was in your shoes as someone who was more passive and non-confrontational. I had never been taught to set boundaries for myself. I thought I had to be nice all the time and then hope it would just go away. Now, I look back on my life, at the times that I set a boundary with a bully, and there have been many, and it’s just absolutely glorious to look back on. The level of self-trust and self-worth that I created just perpetuates itself. It has given me so much self-confidence. Here are some more Boundary setting false beliefs that you may have: It’s mean to set a boundary. It will make things worse for me. I can’t set a boundary. I will feel guilty if I set a boundary. Do you know what an Upstander is? Are you like me? You can stick up for someone else at the drop of a hat, but when it comes to yourself, that’s a different story. Sticking up for a friend or peer who is being bullied is called being an Upstander. I will talk more about being an Upstander in an upcoming blog. Did you know you can be your own Upstander? What did I do with Jill’s situation? I took it to the community and let the teen IME Community members coach on it and it was epic. We had been coaching on the different kinds of boundary setting and they were able to coach on setting a physical boundary, an emotional boundary, a verbal boundary, and how Jill could advocate for herself to create a plan so the bullying will stop. Create a Physical Boundary: Let's take a boundary setting approach to stop bullying for ourselves too. Remember, you can always walk away and that is setting a physical boundary and is not giving up. Walking away is a powerful boundary and without words can send a powerful message. Move to a different seat. Talk to your teacher about sitting somewhere else if there is assigned seating. Change classes if you need to. (I know. I know. The bully should be the one to change classes.) Take a different route to class if possible. Change up the timing of your route to class. Word Boundaries Jill might try: You’re making me feel uncomfortable. I’m uncomfortable with you staring at me. Stop staring at me. I’m uncomfortable. Setting boundaries with words: From a Psychology Today article, memorize a simple statement is the #1 thing to do from “8 Things Kids Can Say and Do to Stop Bullying” by Signe Whitson, L.S.W. She calls them Bully Bans. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201801/8-things-kids-can-say-and-do-stop-bullying Let’s practice some boundary setting words (Bully Bans): Stop saying that to me. I heard you the first time. Stop bullying me. You’re crossing the line. Whatever. My ears work just fine. I heard you the first time you said it. Way to be original. Emotional boundaries are powerful: Bullies project their weaknesses and insecurities onto their victims. Bullies are not coming from a powerful place when they bully. They are coming from a weak place of insecurity. The bully’s insecurities and weaknesses are not ours to fix or solve. Let’s believe them when they say who they are. I’ve heard so many stories from teens about how they defended themselves and then ended up with the same consequence as the bully. Setting a boundary isn’t fighting back as much as it is diffusing the situation to stop the bullying for you. In other words, don’t get in the mix with the bully. Don’t degrade yourself to the level of the bully. That doesn’t mean you don’t stand up for yourself and make powerful bully ban statements. By all means, please do. You can even do a mental rehearsal. It’s like a play you’re writing and you’re the hero who saves the day for yourself. Recognize you don’t cause or control what another human being says. What you do control is how you want to show up and where to put your attentional focus. That’s powerful. Remember, our thoughts create our feelings and our feelings drive our actions or inactions. If you are feeling stuck and powerless in a bullying situation, try to write down your thoughts and beliefs about the situation. If you keep believing that thought without challenging it or realizing your brain is attached to it because of fear (is a human response and makes sense), then you will stay stuck with that belief, the fear and the inaction. Why you shouldn’t ignore bullying: The problem with letting bullying go is that the bullying has to go somewhere and guess where it’s going to go? To you. If not challenged, you may start to internalize it. Or, you may believe if you change something about yourself, like your body size, that your bully will stop. That’s not always true. If you believe you are the one that’s broken and not the bully, you may restrict your eating or binge eat to cope with the stress to avoid the stress of bullying. By the way, I want you to know that I know it’s not always as easy as creating boundary statements or talking to a trusted adult to create a plan to stop the bullying. I encourage you to talk with your doctor because bullying is a preventative health issue and also work with a therapist to heal from trauma. Remember, you are unbroken and a perfectly incredible magic being who is meant to live your fun life. Remember, Bullying comes from a place of complete weakness, powerlessness, and insecurity. Here are your action steps: Visit Stopbullying.gov Write your Bully Bans Write down some beliefs you have about setting boundaries. What would it feel like to have your own back and set a boundary for yourself? Massive self-trust and massive self-worth? Do a mental rehearsal. Visualize and practice it using your Bully Bans. Role play and say your Bully Bans with casual confidence. How do you want to show up for yourself? One powerful decision creates powerful clarity for your next step. Make sure you connect with a trusted adult to help create a plan so the bullying stops for you. I've got your back. I only care about helping you and when I coach you in IME Community, we are going to stay in your lane and not in the business of the bully trying to convince or thinking they shouldn't be bullying or waste our time figuring out why they are bullying. We believe them when they have shown us who they are. Let them be who they are and let them be wrong about you. Self-love superpower, Dr. Karla, ActivistMD See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today's episode of Raising Adults, we have the opportunity to double date with the hosts of the popular podcast What Fresh Hell - Laughing in the Face of Motherhood, Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. Be sure to tune in and listen as we dive into what it means to be "that mom" and how we can best advocate for our kids.   "When advocating for your kid, come with both the problem and the solution." - Amy Wilson   "Be very aware of…am I always the person advocating for my needs and my kid's needs in a way that is taking needed resources from other people or really inconveniencing other people?" - Margaret Ables   Today's highlights include:  Margaret shares that she was a comedian, television writer and her why for being “that mom” (4:01) Amy talks about her book, family, and her why (5:06) Why it is “that mom” and not “that dad” or “that parent” (6:50) The line between helicopter mom and tiger mom (9:01) Is there a time for spiciness vs. doing it kindly? (12:37) Come with a solution to the problem (18:03) Intentionality and values while advocating for your kids (19:41) Steps to take once you've decided to be “that mom” (21:20) How to be emotionally prepared for difficult conversations and uncomfortable truths (24:11) A useful framework: rude behavior vs. mean behavior vs. bullying behavior (26:36)   References from today's episode: When To Be 'That Mom' episode    Ask Amy - My Kid's Friend Is Now Bullying Him. Should I Get Involved    Signe Whitson    Connect with Amy and Margaret:  Facebook Group  Instagram  Website  Twitter  TikTok YouTube   Amy's Book    Thanks to our sponsors The MamaZen App - Helping Moms Feel Sane!    The MamaZen app specializes in helping moms change their motherhood habits, so they can become patient, mindful, calmer, happier, and raise happy and mindful adults.   Use promo code FUTURE to get full, unlimited FREE access to MamaZen for 30 days.    Thanks for joining us on today's episode of Raising Adults! If you enjoyed today's episode, please head over to iTunes, give us 5 stars, and leave a review to help us reach even more Future Focused parents. Don't forget to check out our website, visit us on Facebook, or hang out with us on Instagram and Twitter to stay up-to-date on what's in store for you.

Signe Whitson is an author and internationally-recognized speaker with 20 years of experience working with children, teens, and families. Join us for our podcast as we talk to Signe about bullying, how we get it wrong, and how we can prevent it! #school​ #bullying​ #education

  In Episode 97, I'm chatting with Signe Whitson. We talk about her book, Parenting The Challenging Child: The Four-Step Way To Turn Problem Situations Into Learning Opportunities, which is based on her work at the Life Space Crisis Intervention, an organization dedicated to training teachers, counselors, and parents on how to appropriately respond to challenging behaviors from kids. The program helps us to better understand the conflict cycle that we can get into with kids when they are exhibiting bad behaviors and how we can help break that cycle. Previously, in episode 66, I spoke to Signe about her research and article about distinguishing between rude, mean, and bullying behaviors in children. After Signe's visit to my camp this summer to do training with our counselors, we now call each other by our camp names, Sunshine and Ginger. Big Ideas One of the most important tools that kids have for calming down is deep breathing. Another important tool that kids have for calming down is movement. It's important for parents to be aware that their own kids trigger an emotional response in them that brings about quicker frustration or exhaustion than when they are with someone else's child. LSCI is an approach to working with young people that examines how a child's thoughts, perceptions, and feelings contribute to their behavior. While it has been used for 30 years to train professionals who work with kids, this book relates the concepts and strategies to help parents learn to help kids: to calm their emotional brain during stressful situations and to re-engage their thinking brain and problem-solve. The Conflict Cycle teaches us that before bad behavior ever occurs with a child, there is a set of thoughts, perceptions, feelings, and reactions from other people that grows within the child and leads to the behavior. With problem behavior with kids, we look at the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex of the brain. In stressful situations, the emotional part of the brain loses the ability to connect and communicate with the rational part of the brain and the children's emotions become dominant. Helping kids learn how to regulate their brain is a skill that we can and should be teaching them. Kids need adults to role model how to take a breath and handle things rationally and calmly, rather than acting on the emotions of the moment. Quotes Ginger: "I hope that this book is very practical for parents in terms of what is the garbage, nonsense behavior that we don't need to address right away, in the heat of the moment, versus, what needs to be done in a problem situation, and how to do that in a way that actually turns that problem into an opportunity for the relationship to get a little better, for the child to feel heard and understood, for the child to learn how to calm down." Ginger: "What the conflict cycle shows is that by the time a problem situation happens, let's say between a parent and child, the problem itself is all we're focusing on--the misbehavior, the talking back, the rolled eyes, the thrown bottle--whatever it is. What the conflict cycle teaches us is that before that behavior ever occurred, there was this whole set of thoughts, perceptions, feelings, reactions from other people that grew, and grew, and grew, and led to that behavior." Ginger: "If, as adults, we just go in and punish behavior or react to it, what we're missing is everything inside the child that is important and led up to it. We might be punishing the surface behavior, but it's bound to happen over again in the future because we didn't really address its roots." Ginger: "To the child, their perception of the event is reality for them. We might see it completely differently, but as we say in the book, 'to the corkscrew, the knife is crooked' so the way the child is perceiving that event is real and it is driving this huge, emotional response." Ginger: "Learning about the brain science behind behavior has been a total game-changer for me and my career. It takes us away from being angry and frustrated by kid's repetitive, challenging behaviors, and it takes us to a place of compassion where we understand that they are overwhelmed right now." Ginger: "Helping kids learn how to regulate their brain is a skill that we can and should be teaching them." Ginger: "Kids perceive things based on their own set of beliefs about themselves, about others, and the world. They have thoughts, feelings, and behaviors related to that set of perceptions. As adults, it really important for us to ask questions and examine those perceptions. Sometimes a child is dead-on and the way they perceive something is exactly right and sometimes not." Ginger: "When a child tells you something that sounds awful, don't freak out. Just listen, let them tell their side of the story. But your face and all of your reactions should convey that whatever they're telling you is totally manageable. What we project really has an impact on how a child feels going into this problem-solving phase." Ginger: "Number one, don't freak out. Number two, let a child know that you're sorry for the way they are feeling. Number three, thank kids for sharing what is happening." Ginger: "We have to make kids feel like they have agency and power, and there's something that they can do. They're not waiting for an adult to rescue them, or another child to change." Ginger: "Our emotional brains are wired to protect our kids...but it's our job to take a breath, to smell some lavender and vanilla, to go for a run, just to take a pause and engage the thinking part of our brain instead of the emotional one. Because most of the time when we make emotionally based decisions, we're not actually making the best decision. Kids need adults to role model that we can take a breath and handle things rationally and calmly, as opposed to just acting on the emotions of the moment." Sunshine: "As kids get older they are exposed to some really crazy, sometimes dark, stuff from other kids and in the world. We want our kids to feel like they can come and talk to us about those things. It's so important that we stay calm, regardless of how bad it sounds." Ginger: "There's been great research and a study that recently came out asking thousands of young people what is it that you want when you go to your parents. And, overwhelmingly, the kids said, 'I just want them to listen. I specifically don't want them to try to solve it. I just want them to listen.' So we are actually doing them a disservice when we rush in and try to solve. It's so much better to just listen." Ginger: "As parents, we love our kids so much that we just want to fix their problems and make it all better. But first of all, that's not always what kids want. Second of all, when we rush in to fix it, we rob our kids of the opportunity to learn their own problem-solving skills." Breathing Beads Video Tutorial on how to make the "Breathing Beads" Signe and I talked about in this episode. It's linked from this article on Signe's website:   Images from Parenting the Challenging Child: The 4-Step Way to Turn Problem Situations into Learning Opportunities, by Signe Whitson Great questions to ask about children's perception of stressful events and well as their thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and what they observed in others' reactions (pages 40-41): Questions to Ask to Obtain a Good Timeline (about stressful events) (page 42): Displacement in an SOS Situation (page 74): "Displacement is the term used in LSCI training to describe situations in which a person takes his anger out on someone or something other than the actual target of his anger. The displacement of intense, uncomfortable emotions is a common self-defeating behavior among children and adults alike."   The LSCI Conflict Cycle "Flipping Your Lid" Dr. Daniel Siegel's Hand Model of the Brain: Resources/Related Life Space Crisis Intervention (LSCI) Website Parent Courses (LSCI) Signe's Website Ep. 95: Raising a "YES Brain" Child Ep. 66: Is it Rude? Is it Mean? or Is it Bullying? with Signe Whitson Join Audrey for her Summer Read-Along of her new book, Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults on the Happy Campers Facebook group this summer, as she goes through one secret per week, each week of July and August. For information about Audrey's summer read-along of Happy Campers, visit her website at www.happycampersbook.com. While you're there, click on the Book Hub link for tons of downloadable resources that go along with the book. You can pick up your copy of Audrey's book, Happy Campers, 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults, at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, Books a Million, Kobo, or wherever books are sold.

Signe Whitson teaches us to recognize bullying, Christina Bradley gives advice for competing with a freind at work, Laurie Nadel clarifies how to support those with PTSD, Danielle Smith explains the benefits of Yes Days, Ganel-Lyn Condie talks about getting motivated when in a slump.

Most of us hear “bullying” and picture a sand-kicking, lunch-money-stealing menace. But today’s bullying can take other forms. Research by Dr. Charisse Nixon shows that about 7% of kids report experiencing physical aggression once a week— but that HALF of kids report experiencing relational aggression at least once a month. On the other hand, as bullying expert Signe Whitson explains, some things can get termed “bullying” that might be more correctly described as mean or rude. Knowing the difference as parents will help our children navigate tricky situations more effectively. In this episode we discuss how to help our children understand what bullying is, plus how to know if our kids are being bullied themselves— since it’s the kids who are truly frightened and struggling who are often the most likely not to tell us. We also discuss whether, how much, and in what ways parents should intervene— somewhere in the middle ground between “so find new friends!” and beating the bully up yourself. (Spoiler alert: don’t do either of those things.) Here’s links to research and resources discussed in this episode: Katie Hurley for Washington Post On Parenting: What does childhood anxiety look like? Probably not what you think. Katie Hurley for PBS Kids: What to Do If Your Child Is Being Bullied Sherri Gordon for Very Well Family: 7 Tips for Helping Kids Deal With Being Ostracized Sumathi Reddy for WSJ: Little Children and Already Acting Mean Signe Whitson for Huffington Post: Rude Vs. Mean Vs. Bullying: Defining The Differences Louis Sachar: There's a Boy in The Girls' Bathroom  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Signe Whitson explains passive aggression and how we can confront people about it. Dr. Weston Spencer, helps us know what kinds of sickness are going around this season and how we can avoid catching them. He also answers our questions about body image in children and how to approach sensitive topics such as obesity or eating disorders. Clare Niederpruem talks about the 2018 film Little Women and how it was made. Dr. Stanley Dubinksy talks about dad jokes and why we find them so funny.

Signe Whitson chats about passive aggression.  We define passive aggression, talk about the different behaviors passive aggressive people employ, discuss the different levels of passive aggression, and explore what causes people to be passive aggressive. Signe Whitson is an author and internationally-recognized speaker with 20 years of experience working with children, teens, and families.  She presents customized training workshops for professionals, parents, and students on topics related to bullying prevention, digital citizenship, managing anxiety and  anger in children, changing passive aggressive behavior, and intervening effectively in crisis situations in schools and treatment organizations In her articles, books, and trainings, Signe provides down-to-earth, practical advice for navigating the daily challenges of living and working with children, tweens and teens.  As a mother of tween & teen daughters, Signe relates to parents on a personal level. Signe is the Director of Counseling at The Swain School in Allentown, PA.   She is also the Chief Operating Officer of the Life Space Crisis Intervention Institute, an international training and certification program for turning crisis situations into learning opportunities for children and youth with chronic patterns of self-defeating behaviors. She is the author of six books, including: BULLY PREVENTION The 8 Keys to End Bullying ACTIVITY BOOK for Kids & Tweens The 8 Keys to End Bullying Activity book COMPANION GUIDE for Parents & Educators 8 Keys to End Bullying: Strategies for Parents & Schools Friendship & Other Weapons: Group Activities to Help Young Girls Ages 5-11 to Cope with Bullying ANGER MANAGEMENT How to Be Angry: An Assertive Anger Expression Group Guide for Kids and Teens PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR The Angry Smile: The New Psychological Study of Passive-Aggressive Behavior at Home, at School, in Marriage & Close Relationships, in the Workplace, and Online. You can follow her on Twitter @SigneWhitson, watch clips of her trainings on YouTube, read her articles on The Huffington Post or Psychology Today, or “Like” her on Facebook.

It is really important to shine the light on actual bullying behavior when it is toxic, relentless and cruel. But if we mistake things that are rude, joking or even mean and over-label them as bullying, then we are going to stop paying attention to bullying just as fast as it came into the spotlight.… The post Ep. 66: Is it Rude, Is it Mean, or Is it Bullying? with Signe Whitson appeared first on Sunshine Parenting.

8 Keys to End Bullying: Strategies for Parents & SchoolsGroundbreaking books have peered into the psychology of bullying and the cultural climate that?seemingly now more than ever?gives rise to such cruelty and aggression. But few have been able to synthesize what we know into 8 simple, targeted “keys” that equip educators, professionals, and parents with practical strategies to tackle the issue head-on. Signe Whitson is a certified school social worker, author, and internationally-recognized speaker with 20 years of experience working with children, teens, and families.  She presents customized training workshops for professionals, parents, and students on topics related to understanding and ending bullying, managing anger in children, changing passive aggressive behavior, and intervening effectively in crisis situations in schools and treatment organizations.About Dr. John HuberTexas Based - Dr. John Huber (www.mainstreammentalhealth.org) is the Chairman for Mainstream Mental Health, a non-profit organization that brings lasting and positive change to the lives of individuals that suffer from mental health issues.  A mental health professional for over twenty years, Dr. Huber is a Clinical Forensic Psychologist, and he is a practitioner with privileges at two long term acute care hospitals.  

Host: Brian P. McDonough, MD, FAAFP Guest: Signe Whitson What is passive-aggressive behavior, and what can (or should) people do when confronted with it? Host Brian McDonough sits down with Signe Whitson, author of the book The Angry Smile: The New Psychological Study of Passive-Aggressive Behavior at Home, at School, in Marriage & Close Relationships, in the Workplace and Online. Ms. Whitson is an educator on bullying, crisis intervention, and child and adolescent emotional and behavioral health. She offers real-world examples and empowering, practical strategies for individuals confronted with passive aggressiveness.

Host: Brian P. McDonough, MD, FAAFP Guest: Signe Whitson What is passive-aggressive behavior, and what can (or should) people do when confronted with it? Host Brian McDonough sits down with Signe Whitson, author of the book The Angry Smile: The New Psychological Study of Passive-Aggressive Behavior at Home, at School, in Marriage & Close Relationships, in the Workplace and Online. Ms. Whitson is an educator on bullying, crisis intervention, and child and adolescent emotional and behavioral health. She offers real-world examples and empowering, practical strategies for individuals confronted with passive aggressiveness.

Host: Brian P. McDonough, MD, FAAFP Guest: Signe Whitson What is passive-aggressive behavior, and what can (or should) people do when confronted with it? Host Brian McDonough sits down with Signe Whitson, author of the book The Angry Smile: The New Psychological Study of Passive-Aggressive Behavior at Home, at School, in Marriage & Close Relationships, in the Workplace and Online. Ms. Whitson is an educator on bullying, crisis intervention, and child and adolescent emotional and behavioral health. She offers real-world examples and empowering, practical strategies for individuals confronted with passive aggressiveness.

Host: Brian P. McDonough, MD, FAAFP Guest: Signe Whitson What is passive-aggressive behavior, and what can (or should) people do when confronted with it? Host Brian McDonough sits down with Signe Whitson, author of the book The Angry Smile: The New Psychological Study of Passive-Aggressive Behavior at Home, at School, in Marriage & Close Relationships, in the Workplace and Online. Ms. Whitson is an educator on bullying, crisis intervention, and child and adolescent emotional and behavioral health. She offers real-world examples and empowering, practical strategies for individuals confronted with passive aggressiveness.

Host: Brian P. McDonough, MD, FAAFP Guest: Signe Whitson What is passive-aggressive behavior, and what can (or should) people do when confronted with it? Host Brian McDonough sits down with Signe Whitson, author of the book The Angry Smile: The New Psychological Study of Passive-Aggressive Behavior at Home, at School, in Marriage & Close Relationships, in the Workplace and Online. Ms. Whitson is an educator on bullying, crisis intervention, and child and adolescent emotional and behavioral health. She offers real-world examples and empowering, practical strategies for individuals confronted with passive aggressiveness.

Jennifer Hill asks author, Signe Whitson: “How do you handle passive aggressive people in the workplace?” Signe suggests that being direct and assertive with a passive aggressive person is the antidote to that behavior. Signe also suggests that those who are passive aggressive can start to remedy that behavior with “I messages” and that practicing those “I messages” with a partner will help to improve communicating their needs in an empowering way. lsci.org/product/the-angry-smile Signe Whitson is the Chief Operating Officer for the LSCI Institute. She is a certified School Social Work Specialist, author, and national educator on bullying prevention, crisis intervention, and child and adolescent emotional and behavioral health. She is the author of six books, including The Angry Smile: The New Psychology of Passive Aggressive Behavior at Home, at School, in Marriage & Close Relationships, in the Workplace and Online, co-written with Drs. Nicholas and Jody Long.

Jennifer Hill asks author, Signe Whitson: “How do you handle passive aggressive people in the workplace?” Signe suggests that being direct and assertive with a passive aggressive person is the antidote to that behavior. Signe also suggests that those who are passive aggressive can start to remedy that behavior with “I messages” and that practicing those “I messages” with a partner will help to improve communicating their needs in an empowering way. lsci.org/product/the-angry-smile Signe Whitson is the Chief Operating Officer for the LSCI Institute. She is a certified School Social Work Specialist, author, and national educator on bullying prevention, crisis intervention, and child and adolescent emotional and behavioral health. She is the author of six books, including The Angry Smile: The New Psychology of Passive Aggressive Behavior at Home, at School, in Marriage & Close Relationships, in the Workplace and Online, co-written with Drs. Nicholas and Jody Long.

Bullying is a hot topic these days. Hot because it's important, because kids deserve better than to feel powerless in their own schools, homes, and lives. As parents, it can be challenging to know how to handle bullying--whether your child is the bullied, or the bully. How do we talk with our kids about it? Deal with other parents about it? How can we give our children the skills they need to stand up to bullies and be advocates for themselves and others? My guest, Signe Whitson, counselor and author of "8 Keys to End Bullying" [http://books.wwnorton.com/books/8-Keys-to-End-Bullying/] is here to show us how. Signe is sharing her 8 keys in this powerful episode, including practical "how-to's" for parents, children and teachers. Together, we can end bullying! We just need the tools to know how, and that's what this episode is all about. For more parenting skills and tools, please visit http://www.drchristinahibbert.com/parenting-success-more-about-parent-than-child/parenting-skills/.

The Conflict Resolution Wheel I’ve always considered myself non-confrontational and I do my best to avoid conflict. In researching ways to teach kids conflict resolution skills, I’ve discovered that avoidance is actually a choice on the "Conflict Resolution Wheel." I’m primarily a “walk away” or “go play with somebody else” conflict resolver. And, perhaps because I try to “use kind words and a friendly voice” most of the time, I’m able to steer clear of many conflict situations. I know that my technique is not always the best way to resolve conflicts, nor has it worked in every situation, so I’ve learned to “talk together & work it out” with people in my life who are important to me. Because people aren’t perfect and relationships are messy, we all need to learn how to better resolve conflicts. What kind of conflict resolver are you? What about your kids? How do they resolve conflicts? Over my three decades at camp working with thousands of kids and teens, I’ve noticed that kids have become less and less adept at solving their own problems and conflicts. They are quick to involve adults and call other kids names (“bully” is a favorite). I think kids have become so accustomed to constant adult supervision that they are prone to seek it immediately, especially when they’re in an uncomfortable situation. There’s nothing wrong with seeking direction, especially when adult intervention is needed, but I want to be sure our counselors are armed with good skills for giving campers guidance on conflict resolution, rather than just providing kids with the solution itself. All too often, we parents tend to rescue our kids from conflict; at camp, kids have a great opportunity to learn to solve such challenges on their own. One of our goals, then, is to prepare counselors to teach campers conflict resolution strategies, which the kids can use in similar situations at home (like with their siblings!). 5 Steps to Help Kids Resolve Conflicts CALM DOWN Give everyone a chance to take a breather from each other. Ask them each what they need to do to calm down. The “wheel” offers some good choices, like walking away and taking a break for a few minutes, counting to 10 (or 100!), or writing down some feelings. In any case, nothing coherent will come from trying to lead a discussion with upset, emotionally fragile kids. So ask them to figure out the best way to calm down before attempting to solve the problem. Read more in 10 Ways to Teach Kids to Calm Down. Learn about Breathing Beads in this Episode of the Sunshine Parenting Podcast (my interview with Signe Whitson about her book, Parenting the Challenging Child. STATE & UNDERSTAND THE PROBLEM Once calm has prevailed, talk to each child (either together or separately, depending on the circumstances) and help them state their problem. Stress the importance of being honest and admitting their role in the conflict (most problems are shared). Encourage them to use “I” statements to express their feelings. For example, “I felt left out and hurt because he wouldn’t let me play the card game, so I threw his towel to annoy him.” Read more in 5 Steps to Raising a Problem Solver. APOLOGIZE WELL “A good apology will communicate three things: regret, responsibility, and remedy. Apologizing for a mistake might seem difficult, but it will help you repair and improve your relationships with others.” http://www.wikihow.com/Apologize Encourage each child (or only one, depending on the circumstances) to come up with a good apology. Writing it down before they say it can be a good start, and that letter can be given to the child with whom they’re in conflict. Or, with a younger child, take some notes that they can then use as they apologize. I found a great list of what makes a “good apology,” so it’s best if the child can include all of these parts: •  Use the words, "I’m sorry." •  Acknowledge exactly how you messed up. (As in, “I used unkind words that hurt you.”)•  Tell the person how you’ll fix the situation.•  Promise to behave better next time.•  Ask for forgiveness. Bad apologies, on the other hand, tend to suffer from these four shortcomings: Justifying words or behavior; Blaming the victim; Making excuses; Minimizing the consequences. (“It was just a joke!”) Read more in More Than "I'm Sorry." PROMOTE SOLUTION FINDING Empower children to brainstorm solutions to their conflict. It’s so tempting as an all-knowing adult to generate solutions, but something the kids think up and agree upon on their own will more likely work. Encourage each child to listen carefully and to accurately paraphrase each other. Encourage them to speak to each other (not you) and to speak honestly and kindly. Read more in What are you going to do? FOLLOW UP Follow up with the children to see how they are getting along and if the solution they came up with is working. But if the “talk together/work it out” strategy isn’t working for this pair, it’s best to suggest my go-to strategy: find someone else to hang out with. Even if the kids appear to need a prolonged break from one another, they will still be required to speak in a kind and respectful way when they are interacting. As I wrote this post, I realized that any time I used the word “kid” or “child,” I could easily have used the word “person.” Learning these conflict resolution techniques, and even using the “wheel” and its options, could help a lot of us adults, don’t you think? Related Sunshine Parenting Podcast Episodes & Posts Ep. 66: Is it Rude? Is it Mean? or Is it Bullying? Ep. 2: 10 Friendship Skills Every Kid Needs Ep. 60: The Importance of Outdoor, Child-Directed Free Play Ep. 45: Social Media Wellness with Ana Homayoun  Why Kids Need to Get Uncomfortable 5 Steps to Raising a Problem Solver 10 Friendship Skills Every Kid Needs More Than "I'm Sorry" - Teaching Kids to Apologize Well 10 Ways to Teach Kids to Calm Down Making Friends: 3 Communication Skills Your Child Needs And some other fun resources & links P.S. I didn’t have anywhere to fit this in the post, but I just loved this “How Big is My Problem” poster, which you can order through Teachers Pay Teachers. How often do kids (and adults) communicate a “glitch” or “little problem” as if it’s a “gigantic problem” or an “emergency”? Wouldn’t it be great if we all agreed to keep the same problem scale? We could walk into our co-worker’s office and say, “I’ve got #2 problem today. Can you help me?”

Unrestrained, Episode 6 – Signe Whitson, author and school bullying prevention advocate talks about her books, 8 Keys to End Bullying: Strategies for Parents & Schools and Friendship & Other Weapons: Group Activities to Help Young Girls Aged 5-11 to Cope with Bullying.