Podcasts about upstander

*Content warning: divorce, conversion therapy, reorientation therapy, cyberstalking, stalking, emotional and psychological abuse, death threats, and criminal threats.Danny Cords is an organizational psychologist and victim advocate from Seattle. He began harnessing his voice and speaking out for others after leaving conversion therapy in his late teens. But his advocacy mission only intensified after being subjected to years of cyberstalking. He hopes to bring awareness and healing to victims all over the world, as well as legal change too. His related (and unrelated) work and efforts have been featured on the stage, television, radio, podcasts, and more. We are extremely grateful that Danny was willing to share all that came next in his personal, professional, legal, and media journeys.*Resources:  Danny Cords's website: https://www.dannycords.com/ End Tech-Enabled Abuse: endtab.org Organization for Social Media Safety: https://www.socialmediasafety.org/ *Sources: -Cybersecurity Awareness Month, Cybersecurity & Infrastructure Security Agency, www.cisa.gov/cybersecurity-awareness-month-Cybersecurity, RAND Corporation, www.rand.org/topics/cybersecurity.html-Stalking Fact Sheet, The Stalking Prevention, Awareness, & Resource Center, www.stalkingawareness.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/SPARC_StalkngFactSheet_2018_FINAL.pdfFor additional resources and a list of non-profit organizations that can help, please visit http://www.somethingwaswrong.com/resourcesFollow What Came Next: Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-came-next/id1674051643 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatcamenext_podcast/ SWW S25 E24 BTS and Q & A Part 2 *Content Warning: friendship betrayal, infidelity, stalking, domestic violence, institutional betrayal, institutional trauma, and murder. Free + Confidential Resources + Safety Tips: somethingwaswrong.com/resources   SWW Sticker Shop!: https://brokencyclemedia.com/sticker-shop SWW S25 Theme Song & Artwork: The S25 cover art is by the Amazing Sara Stewart instagram.com/okaynotgreat/ The S25 theme song is a cover of Glad Rag's U Think U from their album Wonder Under, performed by the incredible Abayomi instagram.com/Abayomithesinger. The S25 theme song cover was produced by Janice “JP” Pacheco instagram.com/jtooswavy/ at The Grill Studios in Emeryville, CA instagram.com/thegrillstudios/ Follow Something Was Wrong: Website: somethingwaswrong.com  IG: instagram.com/somethingwaswrongpodcast TikTok: tiktok.com/@somethingwaswrongpodcast  Follow Tiffany Reese: Website: tiffanyreese.me  IG: instagram.com/lookieboo Follow What Came Next: Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-came-next/id1674051643 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatcamenext_podcast/ Follow Amy B. Chesler: Amy on IG: instagram.com/amybchesler Working For Justice: https://amzn.to/4eqWb3U Follow Lauren: Lauren on TikTok: tiktok.com/@okfineillmakeatiktok Lxrry Media on Instagram: instagram.com/lxrymedia *Sources: -“The Gabby Petito Foundation,” gabbypetitofoundation.org/

For 25 years, Erin Blankenship has dedicated her life to preserving the stories of Holocaust survivors and educating the next generation. In this episode, we explore the Holocaust Museum & Cohen Education Center's newest permanent exhibit, the fight against rising antisemitism, and the power of becoming an "Upstander" in today's world.

Anyone paying attention realizes the United States is being confronted by a direct threat to our democracy from our own government. Horrific things are happening, and happening quickly. Many ask “But what can I do?” This episode is an answer to that question. The On Guard crew discuss some of the things we can all do to push back against the internal threats to our country; while interviewing the community in Minneapolis already at ground zero pushing back and supporting their own community. What can we learn from them? Please share this one far and wide and get the word out...Don't be a bystander - BE AN UPSTANDER!

Governor JB Pritzker of Illinois joins Sam to talk about what to do when the president declares war on one of your cities—totally normal stuff! The Governor explains why people need to finally decide if they’re going to be bystanders or upstanders and why he thinks people usually try to be upstanders. They talk about how President Trump talks a big game but also the federal government conveys nothing to the actual states they’re talking about, and why Illinois is always ready to go to court against Trump and will always try to call Trump’s bluffs. They discuss how if the government actually cared about crime they’d try to collaborate with Governor Pritzker to take illegal guns off the streets and how Trump is actually the one defunding the police. Governor Pritzker reminds Sam that Dr. Phil—yes, that Dr. Phil—joined an ICE raid in Chicago, and why he’s disappointed in some Democratic elected officials. They get into inviting the Texas delegation to Illinois, if Illinois will redistrict, and why compromise right now gets you nothing. Keep up with Samantha Bee @realsambee on Instagram and X. And stay up to date with us @LemonadaMedia on X, Facebook, and Instagram. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What does it truly mean to be a leader in a world that's often divided and challenging?Jon Goehring, Coach Jim Johnson, and Dr. Rehnuma Karim welcome Dr. Omékongo Dibinga — poet, professor, upstander, and author of Lies About Black People — for an eye-opening conversation on leadership, identity, and the power of standing up for justice.Omékongo dismantles harmful stereotypes that plague Black communities and shares how embracing your story and leading authentically can transform both individuals and societies. From confronting small injustices like bullying to grappling with systemic issues, he challenges emerging leaders to become upstanders — those brave enough to speak out and act against inequity.Key insights include:The critical difference between being an “upstander” vs. a bystander… and how silence enables harmUncovering and confronting lies and stereotypes that hold communities downThe role of storytelling and poetry as powerful tools for leadership influence and healingPractical steps leaders can take to build diverse, empowered, and trusting teamsWhy self-leadership and affirmations fuel sustainable impactHow to develop an abundance mindset over scarcity in diversity, equity, and inclusion effortsRecommended reading and lifelong leadership habits inspired by legends like Les Brown and John MaxwellOmékongo's deeply personal stories and culturally rich perspective invite you to reconsider leadership as more than title — it's a courageous commitment to justice, compassion, and authentic connection. Resources Mentioned:Lies About Black People — available to learn more through liesaboutblackpeople.com & omekongo.comRecommended leadership reads: Influencer, Les Brown works, Malcolm Gladwell, Tim Ferriss

Enjoy this encore of Career Notes. Executive Security Advisor at IBM Security Limor Kessem says she started her cybersecurity career by pure chance. Limor made a change from her childhood dream of being a doctor and came into cybersecurity with her passion, investment, discipline, and perseverance. Limor talks about how we must tighten our core security and at the same time we allow innovation to help us move forward with the times. She's been fortunate to have been able to stand up for others and has had others support her. She said that is very motivating and has allowed her to really explore every possible thing in her career that she can contribute without limiting herself to a certain role. We thank Limor for sharing her story with us. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Enjoy this encore of Career Notes. Executive Security Advisor at IBM Security Limor Kessem says she started her cybersecurity career by pure chance. Limor made a change from her childhood dream of being a doctor and came into cybersecurity with her passion, investment, discipline, and perseverance. Limor talks about how we must tighten our core security and at the same time we allow innovation to help us move forward with the times. She's been fortunate to have been able to stand up for others and has had others support her. She said that is very motivating and has allowed her to really explore every possible thing in her career that she can contribute without limiting herself to a certain role. We thank Limor for sharing her story with us. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, we hear from 4 awesome students at a school in Victoria, Australia. They share their experiences of racism and what they wish those around them had done. We highly recommend visiting RacismNoWay for fantastic resources on being an upstander, dealing with bias and racism. Did you know that Grow Your Mind is a wellbeing program you can get into your school? Written by teachers, for teachers, we have lesson plans, videos, animations, an album on Spotify full of non-painful yet life-affirming songs AND we also have a few awards under our belt. Find out more by visiting GrowYourMind.Life Production Scriptwriter and executive producer: Alice PeelProducer, editing & sound design: Cinnamon Nippard Copyright Grow Your Mind 2025. All rights reserved.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode is through the eyes of Rosie, a kid trying to find their feet in high school. Core messages are around being true to yourself, being kinder than necessary, and an upstander's important role in shutting down racism. We strongly encourage you to head to our website and download a free teaching guide to use with your students before playing this episode and episode 4. You will hear racist slurs in this episode. Did you know that Grow Your Mind is a wellbeing program you can get into your school? Written by teachers, for teachers, we have lesson plans, videos, animations, an album on Spotify full of non-painful yet life-affirming songs AND we also have a few awards under our belt. Find out more by visiting GrowYourMind.Life Production Scriptwriter and executive producer: Alice PeelProduction, editing & sound design: Cinnamon Nippard Copyright Grow Your Mind 2025. All rights reserved. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Alice Fornari, who wrote the section of the Antiracism Module titled Diversity and Cultural Humility, discusses the section concepts including calling in vs. calling out, and an upstander. She is an Associate Dean of Educational Skills Development at Zucker School of Medicine at Hofstra/Northwell and Vice President of Faculty Development for Northwell Health comprised of 23 hospitals. Her role aligns UME, GME and the CME continuum. She is a fellow of the Association of Medical Education of Europe. She received the Distinguished Career Award for Excellence in Teaching and Educational Scholarship in 2021 from the International Association of Medical Science Educators. She was co-editor of the new IAMSE Manual entitled Mentoring in Health Professions Education: Evidence-Based Strategies Across the Continuum. In 2022, she received the AAMC Northeast Group of Educational Affairs “outstanding medical educator award” and graduated from the Academy for Professionalism in Health Care Leadership program in 2021.  

Do you, as an educator or parent, wish there was a guidebook for combatting antisemitism? Look no further than Lynne Azarchi and Harlene Lichter Galen's new curriculum: Countering Anti-Semitism and Hate: A How-to Guide for Youth, Family, and Educators.  In a conversation with David Bryfman, the authors share insights from three years of research and emphasize the importance of transforming bystanders into upstanders by instilling pride in Jewish identity. Together, they explore how stereotypes and tropes have caused generations of harm and why fostering strong Jewish identity is essential for equipping youth to stand up against bias. This guidebook is a resource for parents, educators, and anyone looking to empower the next generation to face hate with knowledge, strength, and dignity. Purchase the guide here.This episode was produced by Dina Nusnbaum and Miranda Lapides. The show's executive producers are David Bryfman, Karen Cummins, and Nessa Liben.  This episode was engineered and edited by Nathan J. Vaughan of NJV Media.  If you enjoyed the show, please leave us a 5-star rating and review, or even better, share it with a friend. Be sure to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts and be the first to know when new episodes are released. To learn more about The Jewish Education Project visit jewishedproject.org where you can find links to our Jewish Educator Portal and learn more about our mission, history, and staff. We are a proud partner of UJA-Federation of New York. 

October is Bullying prevention month. I couldn't let the month get past without touching on the importance of teaching students to be "upstanders" as a key bullying prevention strategy. I am introducing the concept of an upstander as someone who witnesses bullying and intervenes to stop it, in contrast to a bystander who does nothing.We will discuss the benefits of empowering students to be upstanders, including preventing future bullying, supporting targets, and reducing bullying-related anxiety and depression. I will also touch on several teaching strategies for introducing the upstander concept, such as traditional lessons, interactive games, and digital resources. Some highlights from this episode include: Learning the importance of teaching students the different roles in bullying (bully, target, bystander) and avoiding stigmatizing language like "victim." Diving deeper on the concept of an upstander is defined as someone who witnesses bullying and intervenes to stop it, in contrast to a bystander. Highlighting the numerous benefits of teaching upstanders as a highly empowering bullying prevention  Teaching methods, including lessons, games, Boom Cards, and videos, to introduce and reinforce the upstander concept. Listen in and see what you can implement before the month is over!    Resources mentioned: Join my school counselor membership IMPACT here! If you are enjoying School Counseling Simplified please follow and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! Check out this Upstander blog Connect with Rachel: TpT Store Blog Instagram Facebook Page Facebook Group Pinterest  Youtube More About School Counseling Simplified: School Counseling Simplified is a podcast offering easy to implement strategies for busy school counselors. The host, Rachel Davis from Bright Futures Counseling, shares tips and tricks she has learned from her years of experience as a school counselor both in the US and at an international school in Costa Rica. You can listen to School Counseling Simplified on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, and more!

SUSAN COTTRELL is an international speaker whose TEDx talk has 1.6 million views. OutSmart magazine called her “The Mother of All MamaBears.” The Advocate dubbed her “our favorite affirming matriarch.” She is a prominent voice for the LGBTQ community and their faith parents who has been featured on ABC's 20/20, Nightline and Good Morning America, on NBC News Out, and as a contributor on the Our Bible app. She […]

This is our final installment of our three-part mini-series highlighting topics that will be covered in AVMA's Journey for Teams Educational Sharpenings. In this episode, we are focusing on how to be an upstander and stay interviews. We are joined by Dr. Latonia Craig, AVMA's Chief Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Officer and Dr. Jen Brandt, AVMA's Director of Member Wellbeing and Diversity Initiatives. They discuss the significance of being an upstander in the workplace, the implementation of stay interviews to gauge employee satisfaction, and the importance of trust and communication in leadership. The episode offers practical advice on fostering a supportive and inclusive culture in veterinary settings.To learn more about all these resources, visit journeyforteams.orgRemember we want to hear from you! Please be sure to subscribe to our feed on Apple Podcasts and leave us a ratings and review. You can also contact us at MVLPodcast@avma.org Follow us on social media @AVMAVets #MyVetLife #MVLPodcast

'You don't want to go somewhere you can't see yourself in.' This week, Mike Short, professor and advocate, shares his experiences with diversity and equity in academia. While the world has taken many steps forward, Mike acknowledges the many weaknesses and failures of the current system, particularly when it comes to sexual harassment and discrimination.  Host: Katie Koestner Editor: Evan Mader Producer: Emily Wang

You've heard the term "bystander," but probably not "upstander." What is it? Hosts Rob Lawrence, Maia Dorsett and Hilary Gates are joined by University of Pittsburgh's Rickquel Tripp, MD, MPH, CDR, USNR: Vice Chair of Diversity, Inclusion & Health Equity, Department of Emergency Medicine; Associate Professor of Emergency Medicine; EMS Medical Director, Penn Hills, SouthEast Regional, Lower Valley and Foxwall; Emergency Department Attending Physician. Dr. Tripp teaches us about implicit bias and how an upstander will not stand quietly by but will instead engage in support of a person or group who may be being bullied or attacked.  How should we teach this in our EMS systems? How do we create a safe space and a culture that celebrates this behavior? Bias is often motivated by fear, anxiety or the unknown. Resources: NAEMSP Pre Conference Workshop: "Empowering Leadership: Building Equity and Excellence into EMS Systems" on Jan. 8, 2024 8 am-5 pm Upstander Handout The Fearless Organization by Amy Edmonson This podcast is sponsored by EMS Gives Life.  Would you consider becoming a living organ donor? For more info visit www.emsgiveslife.org Check out the Prodigy EMS Bounty Program! Earn $1000 for your best talks! Get your CE at www.prodigyems.com  Follow @ProdigyEMS on Twitter, FB, YouTube & IG.

Predigt vom Sonntag 05.11.2023

*Content warning: divorce, conversion therapy, reorientation therapy, cyberstalking, stalking, fraudulent reporting, emotional and psychological abuse, death threats, and criminal threats. Danny Cords is an organizational psychologist and victim advocate from Seattle. He began harnessing his voice and speaking out for others after leaving conversion therapy in his late teens. But his advocacy mission only intensified after being subjected to years of cyberstalking. He hopes to bring awareness and healing to victims all over the world, as well as legal change too. His related (and unrelated) work and efforts have been featured on the stage, television, radio, podcasts, and more. We are extremely grateful that Danny was willing to share all that came next in his personal, professional, legal, and media journeys. This conversation is even more timely, considering October is Cyberstalking Awareness Month. Danny Cords's website https://www.dannycords.com/ Cybersecurity & Infrastructure Security Agency Info on Cyberstalking Awareness Month https://www.cisa.gov/cybersecurity-awareness-month Rand Corporation on Cybersecurity https://www.rand.org/topics/cybersecurity.html Stalking Prevention, Awareness, & Resource Center stalking statistics https://www.stalkingawareness.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/General-Stalking-Infographic.pdf Organization for Social Media Safety https://www.socialmediasafety.org/ End Tab endtab.org The GSBA https://thegsba.org/ Strictly Stalking Podcast https://www.instagram.com/strictlystalkingpod/ And don't forget to check out Ten Things to Tell You with Laura Tremaine on your preferred podcasting platform! For additional resources, please visit: http://www.somethingwaswrong.com/resources

The prospect of renewed covid restrictions and mandates has a lot of us in a defiant mood. James Howard Kunstler warns those who are tempted to push such measure that we won't be fooled again. The meteoric rise of Oliver Anthony into the public's consciousness has a lot of people wondering why his popularity is exploding. James R. Harrigan has an especially solid take of what this young singer has tapped into. Another fantastic article about Oliver Anthony comes to us courtesy of Tom Luongo. Tom points out that the young man's popularity show us that authenticity--not fame--is the new coin of the realm. This may seem like a strange way to approach the value of the 4-H program but there's a lot of truth in this article. Chloe Coleman advises, in the event of apocalypse, find the nearest 4-H club. Article of the Day: Margaret Anna Alice has a marvelous essay on "How to Be an Upstander." For clarity, an upstander is someone who recognizes when something is wrong and acts to make it right. Good advice for all of us. Sponsors: Monticello College Life Saving Food  TMCP Nation Climbing Upward Quilt & Sew

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Kim and Ernest discuss what it means to be an upstander, and the advantages that upstanders have when confronting bias, prejudice and bullying.

Political hostility is on the rise. The increasing polarisation in the political landscape stands hand in hand with political disengagement and apathy of third parties, and presents a challenge to our democratic institutions. This growing hostility couldn't be more palpable than on the web. Scrolling on your favourite social media platform, you probably run into some hate speech from time to time. How do you typically react in these situations? While research within political science has focused on the hostility and explored how politically hostile behaviour develops, much less attention is given to bystanders and the potential of pro-social bystander reactions to mitigate the negative impact of online political hostility.So this week, we have invited Lasse Lindekilde (Political Science at Aarhus University) & Simon Karg (Political Science at Aarhus University & Interacting Minds Centre) from the STANDBY project to discuss how their research focuses on reactions of bystanders when exposed to online political hostility.Through an array of mixed methods, this project aims at studying the behaviour of bystanders on various social media platforms. How do we react when we encounter online hostility targeted at others? What makes an UPstander and what motivates them? What role plays the platform's incentives in managing hate speech? To learn more about STANDBY, its team, their research, and resources mentioned in the episode, visit the Show Notes on our website.

Kidsbridge is the only evidence-based center dedicated solely to youth in the country, with more than 2,500 preschool, elementary, and middle school youth improving their social-emotional skills each year. Visiting youth divide into small groups to discuss strategies for addressing: bullying, cyberbullying, stereotypes, media literacy, UPstander strategies, bias, diversity appreciation, and other related topics. During Covid, Kidsbridge programs are remote -wherever the students and teachers might be.She graduated from Penn State University (B.A. in Anthropology) and earned an MBA in marketing/marketing research from Columbia University, winning many awards and been published both in local newspapers and academic journals.She is a frequent speaker to major educational groups, including the New Jersey Education Association, the New Jersey School Counselors Association, and the New Jersey Afterschool Conference, as well as the American Alliance of Museums.An active social justice partner Lynne is:Co-founder of La Convivencia – an interfaith social justice advocacy coalitionCo-founder of the Coalition of Natives and Allies – CNA to address racist sports mascotsCo-founder, Sister of Salaam Shalom –SOSS –West Windsor chapterBoard member for American Jewish Committee- Princeton, Capital Philharmonic of NJ, Greater Trenton Jewish Cemeteries, and the Jewish Community Center Abrams Day Camp.Awards:One of three finalists for former New Jersey First Lady Mary Pat Christie's NJ Heroes Award for nonprofits focusing on anti-bullying (2016)Inducted into the New Jersey Women's Hall of Fame (2012)American Conference on Diversity Award – Princeton ChapterCommunity Partner Award – Isles YouthBuild (community-based youth program dealing with high dropout and low employment rates)Merrye Hudis Shavel Pearl Award for Outstanding Community Leadership from the Jewish Federation of Princeton Mercer Buckshttps://empathyadvantagebook.com/about-lynne/

Most of us can recall examples of when a leader or someone we know brought to attention a policy, way of doing things or something someone said that overpowered someone else or a group of people. And we ALL have opportunities to speak up for those who have less power than we do - whether it's someone of another gender or race or a beneficiary.   But how do we speak up in a way that is productive and more likely to have a positive impact? In this episode Chen Kandungure and I discuss when to speak up, when to not speak up, best practices in speaking up on behalf of others, what to do when we speak up and nothing happens and more. Resources mentioned: Becoming a Better Leader Through Greater Self-Awareness Lizzo changing song lyrics based on fans' comments

You just heard from special guest Ada Okafor. Ada is a full-time attorney, diversity equity & inclusion strategist, real estate investor, and business owner of a Minuteman Press in Paoli, PA. She is also a full-time mom to 2 little girls and a full-time wife to a solider. LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ada-okafor-esq-48a05726/ Email Ada: ada.esedebe@gmail.com ~~~~ A podcast for parents who are struggling with taking care of their own wellness and who want to feel seen, feel better, and have more energy. Beth runs an online group program that helps busy parents fit in diet and exercise so they can feel their best, while also finding community, support, accountability and long lasting relationships. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Get a free 5 day Refresh: https://www.bewellwithbethphl.com/freeworkshops Join The Refresh: https://www.bewellwithbethphl.com/TheRefresh Keep the conversation going, join the private WhatsApp group here: https://chat.whatsapp.com/Hd9XqgRVad41mzNUYd55UU ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Email us: Hello@bewellwithbethphl.com Podcast created by Beth Auguste - Registered Dietitian, Nutritionist, Fitness trainer and overloaded mom of two young kids.

“The lessons of history can help educators and students stand up to bigotry and hate,” says Brian Fong, Program Director for the California Facing History and Ourselves chapter. Through this organization, Brian works to help others engage in complex topics, such as race and sexuality. Ultimately, Brian aims to nurture an empathetically challenging environment to facilitate positive change. During his first year of teaching, Brian faced his blind spots through his diverse body of students. Realizing that he needed to become an upstander in society, a person who defends those different from them, Brian began his journey promoting inclusion. He encourages the listeners to have brave conversations that can foster change. Tune into this week's episode of The Language Alchemy Podcast for a straightforward conversation on disrupting the bystander effect. Learn more how you can respond as an upstander when you hear someone making an intolerant comment. Quotes • “The lessons of history can help educators and students stand up to bigotry and hate.” (3:40 - 3:45 | Brian) • “We can talk to one another to prolong a dialogue rather than shut down a conversation.” (14:49 - 14:56 | Brian) • "Being an upstander is tiring, and it's challenging. The more we can have allies and the more people are willing to embrace an upstander mindset, the less burdensome it becomes.” (28:05 - 28:18 | Brian) • “Let's find ways that we can be upstanders together because that will make it easier for this to be the norm, rather than by bystanding." (28:20 - 28:28 | Brian) • “The less we have opportunities to sit in each other's company to share our stories, the less we learn, and the more that we allow other stories and other narratives to be told about us rather than by us for one another.” (31:43 - 31:56 | Brian) Links To learn about Facing History and Ourselves and donate, click here: https://info.facinghistory.org/san-francisco-bay-area-25th-anniversary To view Loretta Ross Ted Talk, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xw_720iQDss To ask your communication questions, click here: languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To join the mailing list, visit: languagealchemy.com Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqDI Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Sandy chats with Howard Prager (Chicago, IL) author of Make Someone's Day about the value of being an upstander. He also discusses the VIP Model (V=view, I=identify, P=plan) in leading your cause.Beat the Big GuysHost: Sandy Rosenthalhttps://www.sandyrosenthal.netConnect with Sandy on Instagram: @beatthebigguysProducer: Jess Branashttps://www.branasenterprises.com

Conversations: Damilola Olukoju, Software Engineer at Inlaks Nigeria and Director at Women Who Code Lagos interviews Garima Saxena, Assistant Vice President at EXL. They discuss Garima's 13 years of experience in furnishing data insights, analytics, and visualization, to drive business and boost revenue in a number of health-related fields, as well as her role at EXl, the challenges she's faced, and the importance of diversity in tech. Career Nav: A talk entitled Bystander to Upstander, and LGBTQIA Inclusion, with Casey Watts, Founder of Happy and Effective. Talks Tech: In Women Who Code Talks Tech, we have Hina Sakazaki, Software Engineer, Dialogflow NLU at Google, talking about Adapting ML Research to Make Training AI For Games Fun.

Welcome friends to Everybody Speaks Music, Season 3 Episode 1, thank you so much for downloading the show!Today Kris and Mojo are joined by the inspiring Pete Dankelson of Pete's Diary. We talk about how Pete has overcome his challenges to become an awesome player and inspiring speaker and agent of change.

Welcome friends to Everybody Speaks Music, Season 3 Episode 1, thank you so much for downloading the show! Today Kris and Mojo are joined by the inspiring Pete Dankelson of Pete's Diary.  We talk about how Pete has overcome his challenges to become an awesome player and inspiring speaker and change agent!

Stand Up is a daily podcast. I book,host,edit, post and promote new episodes with brilliant guests every day. Please subscribe now for as little as 5$ and gain access to a community of over 800 awesome, curious, kind, funny, brilliant, generous souls Check out StandUpwithPete.com to learn more NEWS FROM Tuesday April 5 2022  34 minutes Steven Greenhouse is a senior fellow at The Century Foundation, where he writes about wages and working conditions, labor organizing, and other workplace issues. Before coming to The Century Foundation, he was a reporter for the New York Times for thirty-one years, spending his last nineteen years there as its labor and workplace reporter, before retiring from the paper in December 2014. He is the author of Beaten Down, Worked Up: The Past, Present, and Future of American Labor, published by Alfred A. Knopf in 2019. As the New York Times' labor and workplace reporter from 1995 to 2014, he covered myriad topics, including conditions for the nation's farm workers, the Fight for $15, Walmart's locking in workers at night, the New York City transit strike, factory disasters in Bangladesh, and Scott Walker's push to cripple public employee unions. Greenhouse joined the New York Times in September 1983 as a business reporter, covering steel and other basic industries. He then spent two-and-a-half years as the newspaper's Midwestern business correspondent based in Chicago. In 1987, he moved to Paris, where he served as the New York Times' European economics correspondent, covering everything from Western Europe's economy to the collapse of Communism in Eastern Europe. After five years in Paris, he served as a New York Times correspondent in Washington for four years, covering economics and the Federal Reserve and then the U.S. Department of State and foreign affairs. Greenhouse's most recent book, Beaten Down, Worked Up, looks at key historic episodes that built the nation's labor unions and shows how unions and worker power helped build the world's largest, richest middle class as well as a fairer, more democratic America. The book explains how the decline of worker power in recent decades has hurt workers and the nation, fueling income inequality and weakening the voice of workers in politics and policymaking.  The book also examines the future of the labor movement, looking at new forms of worker power, such as the Fight for $15, the #RedforEd teachers' strikes, and some innovative efforts to lift Uber drivers and other gig workers. A native of Massapequa, New York, Greenhouse is a graduate of Wesleyan University (1973), the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism (1975), and NYU Law School, from which he graduated as class valedictorian in 1982. His first book, The Big Squeeze: Tough Times for the American Worker, was published in April 2008 by Knopf. It won the 2009 Sidney Hillman Book Prize for a non-fiction book that advances social justice. Greenhouse has also been honored with the Society of Professional Journalists Deadline Club award, a New York Press Club award, and a Gerald Loeb Award for Distinguished Business and Financial Reporting. He continues to freelance for, among others, the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Los Angeles Times, the New Yorker, the Guardian, the Atlantic, the American Prospect, the Columbia Journalism Review, AARP Magazine, and Nieman Reports.   1:05 Dr. Omékongo Dibinga is the UPstander. His life's mission is to inspire all across the globe to take a stand when they witness an injustice, no matter how small or large. He is a motivational speaker, trilingual poet, TV talk show host, rapper, and professor of cross-cultural communication at American University. His Urban Music Award winning work has best been described by Nikki Giovanni as “outstanding, exciting, and new while being very old.” His book, From the Limbs of My Poetree was described by Essence Magazine as “a remarkable and insightful collection of exquisite poetry that touches sacred places within your spirit.” He was one of 5 international recipients out of 750,000 to win the first ever “CNN iReport Spirit Award.” He has received over 1,000,000 views on CNN.com. Omékongo's writings and performances have appeared in O Magazine, as well as on TV and radio from CNN, BET, and the BBC to NPR, Music Choice, and Voice of America in millions of homes in over 150 countries. He has also written songs for major motion pictures as well as organizations such as NASA and the Enough! Project. He has spoken before the United Nations, partners with the State Department to conduct youth leadership trainings overseas, and speaks to leadership and youth student conferences across the country. Omékongo's music and writings have appeared alongside artists such as Sheryl Crow, Angelina Jolie, Norah Jones, Damien Rice, Angelique Kidjo, Don Cheadle, and Mos Def. He has shared the stage with Wyclef Jean, OutKast, Sonia Sanchez, Dennis Brutus, Emmanuelle Chriqui, The Last Poets, and NFL great Aaron Rodgers. Internationally, he has shared his work in over 20 countries on 3 continents. Omékongo has studied at Harvard, MIT, Princeton, Georgetown, Morehouse, and The Fletcher School, where he earned his M.A. in Law & Diplomacy. He earned his Ph.D. in International Education Policy at The University of Maryland (UMD) where his dissertation centered on the global hip-hop phenomenon and Jay-Z. At UMD, he also worked with the Southern Poverty Law Center's “Teaching Diverse Students Initiative.” He worked for four years as the lead Teaching Assistant to Dr. Michael Eric Dyson at Georgetown University. He provides leadership, educational and diversity empowerment as a consultant and motivational speaker for organizations, associations and institutions. He has featured/lectured nationwide in venues from TEDx and Harvard to Russell Simmons' Hip-Hop Summit and the Nuyorican Poets Café. His rap mixtape series “Bootleg” promotes positive hip-hop with remixes of songs by Tupac, Notorious BIG, Jay Z, Nas, 50 Cent, and others. His 1,000,000 Youth Campaign has directly impacted over100,000 youth across the globe to date. He has also partnered with Intel on its campaign to make their computer processors free of minerals that come from the war in the Congo. Omékongo has published and produced 7 books, 7-fusion music and motivational CDs, and one independent DVD. His motivational book G.R.O.W. Towards Your Greatness! 10 Steps to Living Your Best Life has received praise from great motivational speakers such as Willie Jolley. His most recent book “The UPstander's Guide to an Outstanding Life” is a life balance book for students. For more information, please visit www.upstanderinternational.com. All things Jon Carroll  Follow and Support Pete Coe Pete on YouTube Pete on Twitter Pete On Instagram Pete Personal FB page Stand Up with Pete FB page

New episode of Love&BLoved!!! My guest says:" Prevention is a vital solution to combat the crime of human trafficking. Prevention = Hope for us and those we serve."Joining me today is Ashlie Bryant. Ashlie Bryant is an innovator, leader, social entrepreneur and advocate for children around the globe. She believes in the power of the human spirit and the ability for anyone to thrive and achieve. 2010, Ashlie founded 3Strands Global Foundation in response to a trafficking incident in California. Over the past twelve years, she has led the organization to exponential growth. She was integral in the development of a global anti-trafficking training and curriculum, PROTECT, now live in nine states and several countries. To date, the program has reached over 80,000 adults and more than 500,000 youth. Ashlie expanded 3Strands programming to include a direct services program called Employ + Empower. This program that has placed over 450 survivors and at-risk youth in sustainable jobs in the last four years in Sacramento and San Francisco and is expanding to Texas this year.On today's episode Ashlie is going to share : 1. Collaboration is key2. Advocating for vulnerable populations3. Prevention Changes EverythingEnjoyed this episode? Let us know what your biggest aha was in the comments below! We look forward to reading them!E-mail: ashlieb@3sgf.orgPersonal Website: www.3sgf.orgSocial Media Links: https://www.facebook.com/3StrandsGlobalLinkedIN: https://www.linkedin.com/company/3strands-global-foundation/mycompany/?viewAsMember=true

Setting Boundaries with Teens to Stop Weight Bullying First on the playlist for the week is "We're not gonna take it" by Twisted Sister, a real get you pumped up to set some powerful boundaries with bullies 80's rock song. Video is hilarious too in case you want to transport yourself back to the 80’s. When it comes to setting boundaries, are you an avoidant or compliant or are you an aggressive or manipulative controller? I doubt you're a controller if you are reading this blog, and most likely are an avoidant or compliant who doesn't want to deal with conflict or hasn't been taught the skill of setting a boundary. I get you. That's where I've been most of my life, especially when it comes to setting boundaries for myself. You are worthy of setting boundaries. Sometimes teens don’t want to share if they are being bullied, let alone set a boundary and speak up. Boundary setting is self-love superpower. Setting boundaries and following through creates self-trust that you have your own back. Did you know we were created to set boundaries? Setting boundaries is a part of living a healthy life and I'm not talking about food boundaries or being strict and rigid with boundaries. I love the book, “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend. Check it out! How do you decide when and in what situations to set boundaries? What are the different kinds of boundaries you can set? I guarantee you are setting boundaries even when you don't think you are. Sitting in class, Jill couldn’t help but feel someone staring at her. She turned her head and he was staring right at her, the kid with his hoodie on, sitting behind and diagonally to her, just watching her. So creepy. Jill could literally almost feel his breathing. Her Mom said, “Maybe he likes you.” “Um, no. He’s trying to make a statement about me being fat.” “How do you know that?” “I just know.” “Did you talk to the teacher about it?” “Yes, I tried anyway, but she said to ignore it and it will stop. But, that hasn’t worked. All I want to do is just sit in class in peace and it’s so hard to focus when someone keeps staring at me.” Jill (not her real name) was a patient of mine and I was so sad that she was being bullied sitting in class. How creepy and distracting! Keep reading this blog and you’ll see how the IME Community teen members suggested coaching Jill to set boundaries. Our society and culture lack boundaries because of the entitled belief that it’s okay to openly comment on another person’s body. The reality is humans can be harsh and boundaryless at times and we all experience aggression toward us in our life as part of our common humanity. I know if you’re reading this, you’ll agree with me that it’s not okay to weight bully anyone. Bullies are cowards. It’s true. What’s also true is, you don’t have to fix or solve the bully or change yourself in any way. You don’t cause or control all the things in life. If you spend your time thinking that it shouldn’t be happening and hope the bully will wake up and be a decent human and stop bullying, you may be wasting your time. Also, if you’re spending time wishing it wasn’t happening when it is, that won’t help either. What you can control is how you show up to create self-trust that you will have your own back. Another truth is you are not powerless and you can create boundaries to stop the bullying for you. I know what you’re thinking because I was in your shoes as someone who was more passive and non-confrontational. I had never been taught to set boundaries for myself. I thought I had to be nice all the time and then hope it would just go away. Now, I look back on my life, at the times that I set a boundary with a bully, and there have been many, and it’s just absolutely glorious to look back on. The level of self-trust and self-worth that I created just perpetuates itself. It has given me so much self-confidence. Here are some more Boundary setting false beliefs that you may have: It’s mean to set a boundary. It will make things worse for me. I can’t set a boundary. I will feel guilty if I set a boundary. Do you know what an Upstander is? Are you like me? You can stick up for someone else at the drop of a hat, but when it comes to yourself, that’s a different story. Sticking up for a friend or peer who is being bullied is called being an Upstander. I will talk more about being an Upstander in an upcoming blog. Did you know you can be your own Upstander? What did I do with Jill’s situation? I took it to the community and let the teen IME Community members coach on it and it was epic. We had been coaching on the different kinds of boundary setting and they were able to coach on setting a physical boundary, an emotional boundary, a verbal boundary, and how Jill could advocate for herself to create a plan so the bullying will stop. Create a Physical Boundary: Let's take a boundary setting approach to stop bullying for ourselves too. Remember, you can always walk away and that is setting a physical boundary and is not giving up. Walking away is a powerful boundary and without words can send a powerful message. Move to a different seat. Talk to your teacher about sitting somewhere else if there is assigned seating. Change classes if you need to. (I know. I know. The bully should be the one to change classes.) Take a different route to class if possible. Change up the timing of your route to class. Word Boundaries Jill might try: You’re making me feel uncomfortable. I’m uncomfortable with you staring at me. Stop staring at me. I’m uncomfortable. Setting boundaries with words: From a Psychology Today article, memorize a simple statement is the #1 thing to do from “8 Things Kids Can Say and Do to Stop Bullying” by Signe Whitson, L.S.W. She calls them Bully Bans. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201801/8-things-kids-can-say-and-do-stop-bullying Let’s practice some boundary setting words (Bully Bans): Stop saying that to me. I heard you the first time. Stop bullying me. You’re crossing the line. Whatever. My ears work just fine. I heard you the first time you said it. Way to be original. Emotional boundaries are powerful: Bullies project their weaknesses and insecurities onto their victims. Bullies are not coming from a powerful place when they bully. They are coming from a weak place of insecurity. The bully’s insecurities and weaknesses are not ours to fix or solve. Let’s believe them when they say who they are. I’ve heard so many stories from teens about how they defended themselves and then ended up with the same consequence as the bully. Setting a boundary isn’t fighting back as much as it is diffusing the situation to stop the bullying for you. In other words, don’t get in the mix with the bully. Don’t degrade yourself to the level of the bully. That doesn’t mean you don’t stand up for yourself and make powerful bully ban statements. By all means, please do. You can even do a mental rehearsal. It’s like a play you’re writing and you’re the hero who saves the day for yourself. Recognize you don’t cause or control what another human being says. What you do control is how you want to show up and where to put your attentional focus. That’s powerful. Remember, our thoughts create our feelings and our feelings drive our actions or inactions. If you are feeling stuck and powerless in a bullying situation, try to write down your thoughts and beliefs about the situation. If you keep believing that thought without challenging it or realizing your brain is attached to it because of fear (is a human response and makes sense), then you will stay stuck with that belief, the fear and the inaction. Why you shouldn’t ignore bullying: The problem with letting bullying go is that the bullying has to go somewhere and guess where it’s going to go? To you. If not challenged, you may start to internalize it. Or, you may believe if you change something about yourself, like your body size, that your bully will stop. That’s not always true. If you believe you are the one that’s broken and not the bully, you may restrict your eating or binge eat to cope with the stress to avoid the stress of bullying. By the way, I want you to know that I know it’s not always as easy as creating boundary statements or talking to a trusted adult to create a plan to stop the bullying. I encourage you to talk with your doctor because bullying is a preventative health issue and also work with a therapist to heal from trauma. Remember, you are unbroken and a perfectly incredible magic being who is meant to live your fun life. Remember, Bullying comes from a place of complete weakness, powerlessness, and insecurity. Here are your action steps: Visit Stopbullying.gov Write your Bully Bans Write down some beliefs you have about setting boundaries. What would it feel like to have your own back and set a boundary for yourself? Massive self-trust and massive self-worth? Do a mental rehearsal. Visualize and practice it using your Bully Bans. Role play and say your Bully Bans with casual confidence. How do you want to show up for yourself? One powerful decision creates powerful clarity for your next step. Make sure you connect with a trusted adult to help create a plan so the bullying stops for you. I've got your back. I only care about helping you and when I coach you in IME Community, we are going to stay in your lane and not in the business of the bully trying to convince or thinking they shouldn't be bullying or waste our time figuring out why they are bullying. We believe them when they have shown us who they are. Let them be who they are and let them be wrong about you. Self-love superpower, Dr. Karla, ActivistMD See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we're exploring the word “personification.” What do you think it means?Okay, wordsmiths! Now it's your turn! Share your writing with us or record a voicemail and send it to listen@akidspodcastabout.com. And let us know what other words are on your mind!Check out other podcasts made for kids just like you by visiting akidsco.com.

Kim Scott is all about creating workplace environments where everyone can really be their best selves and reach their growth potential, and her latest book https://kimmalonescott.com/just-work (“Just Work”) offers a valuable framework and set of tools to help address many of the workplace injustices that too many of us have endured over the years.  The book is timely because it reflects how the traditional norms are fundamentally changing. The future of work will center around a workplace that respects everyone's individuality while also enabling them to collaborate effectively so we can ultimately do our best work. Becoming an Upstander at Work To create that ideal workplace, leaders have to understand that it's their responsibility to create a just work environment — and learn how to be what Dr. Philip G. Zimbardo calls an upstander. In my conversation with Dr. Zimbardo in https://www.conniewsteele.com/episodes/18 (episode 18), he talked about the bystander effect. That's when we observe injustice happening, but take no action or even confront it. An upstander is someone who takes action in these situations. And I think being an upstander when you see bias, prejudice, or bullying in the workplace is something that many people have wanted to do but have never felt they had the ability to do. So it's wonderful to now have a framework and a set of tools so that we can all collectively work towards a better workplace. The Why Behind “Just Work” Kim's first book was “Radical Candor: How to Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity.” But she had a conversation that helped her realize that being radically candid isn't equally easy for everyone — particularly people of color who already have to navigate bias and stereotypes. Kim realized that she, like almost all business leaders, had played a role in preventing Just Work in the past, both in the sense of justice and in the sense of just getting stuff done.  We aren't usually doing this on purpose. But when we don't use our power to be upstanders and make work a place where everyone feels supported, we are still perpetuating injustice. What are Workplace Injustices? (And How Do We Respond to Them?) Workplace injustice is not a monolithic problem, it has specific parts. And if you can break a big problem down into smaller parts, it becomes easier to solve. Kim identifies the root causes of workplace injustice as bias, prejudice, and bullying, and the way we respond to each problem is different: Bias is unintentional. It's an unconscious thought that we have, but not a conviction or belief.  Kim shares a real story of a situation where two teams were meeting to negotiate a deal. One team was composed of two men and one woman. As the other side filed into the room, they  ended up sitting by the two men leaving the one woman alone at the end. That woman was the one that had the most expertise for her team and was the one who could win the deal. However, the other side was only addressing questions to her colleagues. This is where a male co-worker was able to use an ‘I statement' to be an upstander. When he stood up and said “I think we should switch seats,” it made everyone realize what was happening, made a victim of injustice feel more respected, and allowed them to get back to work. That's often all it takes to address bias; kindly making people aware of it. Prejudice is a conscious, negative belief about another person, usually rooted in cultural stereotypes.  Kim shares an experience that her business partner witnessed. They were hiring and the best candidate was a Black woman with natural hair, yet the hiring manager said they couldn't hire her because of her hair. The best way to deal with prejudice in the moment is with an ‘It statement,' as opposed to  a ‘You statement' or ‘I statement.' A You statement (e.g. You are being racist) can feel accusatory and make...

I am so excited for todays episode! I am going to be speaking with ANOTHER BULLYING ADVOCATE! Her name is Amber Robbins and she has built an amazing company called STAND and Cheer Co. She is so amazing guys. We are going to be talking about her mission and how she ended up in this amazing space. Yall gonna love this one For speaking inquiries email me bullies.speaker@gmail.com or my assistant liz@savethekids.org. Make sure to go follow me @bulliesbe.gone and @savethekidsinc Go follow Amber @standandcheerco and co check out her content and linktree to join her stand academy! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

01:56 - Episode Intro: Who is Casey Watts (https://twitter.com/heycaseywattsup)? * Happy and Effective (https://www.happyandeffective.com/) 02:25 - “Gay” vs “Queer” * Cultural vs Sexual * Black vs black * Deaf vs deaf 06:11 - Pronoun Usage & Normalization * Greater Than Code Episode 266: Words Carry Power – Approaching Inclusive Language with Kate Marshall (https://www.greaterthancode.com/words-carry-power-approaching-inclusive-language) * Spectrum of Allyship (https://aninjusticemag.com/the-differences-between-allies-accomplices-co-conspirators-may-surprise-you-d3fc7fe29c?gi=decb57b48447) * Ambiguous “They/Them” 16:36 - Asking Questions & Sharing * Ring Theory (https://www.everhomehealthcare.com/post/ring-theory-and-saying-the-right-thing-in-2020) * Don't Assume * Take Workshops * Find Support * Set Boundaries * Overgeneralization * Do Your Own Research – Google Incognito (https://support.google.com/chrome/answer/95464?hl=en&co=GENIE.Platform%3DDesktop) 28:16 - Effective Allyship * Reactive vs Proactive * Parenting * Calling Out Rude Behavior – “Rude!” * Overcoming Discomfort; Getting Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable * Recognizing Past Mistakes: Being Reflective * Stratejoy (https://stratejoy.com/) * Celebrate Progress * Apologize and Move On * Microaggressions: Prevention & Recovery (https://www.happyandeffective.com/workshops/list/avoiding-microaggressions) * happyandeffective.com/updates (https://www.happyandeffective.com/updates) Reflections: Mannah: The people on this show are all willing to start and have conversations. Casey: I will make mistakes. I will find more support. Mandy: Reflection is always a work in progress. It's never done. Keep doing the work. People are always evolving and changing. This episode was brought to you by @therubyrep (https://twitter.com/therubyrep) of DevReps, LLC (http://www.devreps.com/). To pledge your support and to join our awesome Slack community, visit patreon.com/greaterthancode (https://www.patreon.com/greaterthancode) To make a one-time donation so that we can continue to bring you more content and transcripts like this, please do so at paypal.me/devreps (https://www.paypal.me/devreps). You will also get an invitation to our Slack community this way as well. Transcript: PRE-ROLL: Software is broken, but it can be fixed. Test Double's superpower is improving how the world builds software by building both great software and great teams. And you can help! Test Double is hiring empathetic senior software engineers and DevOps engineers. We work in Ruby, JavaScript, Elixir and a lot more. Test Double trusts developers with autonomy and flexibility at a remote, 100% employee-owned software consulting agency. Looking for more challenges? Enjoy lots of variety while working with the best teams in tech as a developer consultant at Test Double. Find out more and check out remote openings at link.testdouble.com/greater. That's link.testdouble.com/greater. CASEY: Hello, and welcome to Greater Than Code, Episode 268. I'm Casey, and I'm here with co-host, Mannah. MANNAH: How's it going? I'm Mannah and I'm here with Mandy Moore. MANDY: Hey, everybody. It's Mandy and today, I'm excited because we are doing a panelist only episode. So our host and panelist, beloved Casey Watts, is going to take us through Casey did a LGBTQ panel for Women Who Code Philly a couple weeks ago and it went really great. He offered to do a show to talk about the subject in more depth on the show. So we're here to do that today. So without further ado, why don't you give us a little intro, Casey? CASEY: Sure. I'm going to start by talking about who I am a little bit and why I'm comfortable talking about this kind of stuff. My name's Casey, I'm a gay man, or a queer man. We can get into the difference between gay and queer [chuckles] in the episode. I live in D.C. and I really like my community groups that I'm in to be super inclusive, inclusive of people of all kinds of backgrounds and all the letters in LGBTQIA especially. MANDY: That's awesome. So right there, you just gave us an in. Can we get into the difference between gay and queer? CASEY: Yeah. I love it. People lately use the term “queer” as an umbrella term that represents all the letters in LGBTQIA especially younger people are comfortable with that term, but it is reclaimed. Older people, it used to be a slur and so, like my cousin, for example, who's older than me hesitates to use the word queer on me because she knows that it used to be used to hurt people. But queer people like this as an umbrella term now because it is just saying we're not the norm in gender identity, or sexual, romantic orientation, that kind of stuff. We're not the norm. We're something else. Don't assume that we're the norm and then it's not describing all the little nuances of it. It's just like the umbrella term. So I'm definitely queer and I'm gay. Another distinction that I really like to make and that's cultural versus specifically what the term means. So I'm gay and that I'm attracted to other men, but I don't hang out at gay bars and watch RuPaul's Drag Race like the mainstream gay man does in media and in life. I know a lot of people who love that I'm not comfortable there. I don't like it. I think drag queens are fun I guess, but they're also really catty and mean and I don't like that, and I don't want that to rub off on me personally. Instead, I hang out in groups like the queer marching band which has a ton of lesbian women, bisexual, biromantic people, asexual people, intersex people, and trans people and has all the letters in LGBTQIA and I love that inclusive community. That's the kind of group I like to be in. Some of the gay men there talk about RuPaul's Drag Race, but it's like a minority of that large group. I love being in the super inclusive cultures. So I'm culturally queer, but I'm sexually romantically gay. So depending on what we're talking about, the one is more important than the other. I have a story for this. Before the pandemic, I got a haircut at a gay barber shop. It's gay because D.C. has a lot of gay people and there's a gym above the barber shop that's pretty explicitly gay. They cater to gay people. They have rainbows everywhere. I got my hair cut and this woman just kept making RuPaul's Drag Race references to me that I didn't get, I don't get it. I don't know what she's saying, but I know the shape of it and I told her I don't like that and I'm not interested in it. Please stop. She didn't because she was assuming I'm culturally gay, like most of her clientele and it was really annoying and she wasn't seeing me, or listening to what I was saying and I was not seen. But she's right I was gay, but I'm not gay culturally in that way. Does that make sense? That's kind of a complex idea to throw out at the beginning of the episode here. A lot of people take some time to get your head around the cultural versus sexual terms. MANNAH: Yeah. That is interesting especially because with so many identities, I guess that's true for every identity where there's a cultural element and then there's some other thing. For instance, I'm a Black man and no matter where I hang out, or what I'm interested in, I'll always be a Black man, but there is associated with both masculinity and specifically, Black masculinity. CASEY: Yeah, and I like the – lately, I've been seeing lowercase B black to mean a description of your skin color and uppercase B Black to mean a description of the culture and I like that distinction a lot. It's visual. Deaf people have been using that for years. My aunt's deaf so my family has a deaf culture. I'm a little bit deaf culture myself just by proxy, but I'm not deaf. I'm capital D Deaf culturally in amount. Her daughter, who she raised, my deaf aunt, is culturally Deaf way, way more than the average person, but not fully because she's not deaf herself. So there's all spectrum here of cultural to experiencing the phenomenon and I was happy to see, on Twitter at least, a lot of people are reclaiming capital B black. And for me, it's capital Q Queer and lowercase G gay. That's how I distinguish into my head—culturally queer and I'm sexually gay. MANNAH: So one of the things, I've been thinking about this since our intro and for those of you listening, our intro is scripted and as simple as it was like, “Hey, my name is Mannah,” and passing it off to Mandy. Generally, when I introduce myself – I just started a new job. I introduced myself with my pronouns, he/him, because I think it's more inclusive and I want to model that behavior and make sure that people around me are comfortable if they want to share their pronouns. I do think that this is championed by the queer community and as a member of that community, I'd just love to hear your take on people being more explicit with that aspect of their identity. CASEY: I love the segment. Pronouns is a huge, huge topic in this space lately especially. I like to start from here, especially with older audiences that we used to have mister and miss in our signatures and in the way we address letters and emails, and that's gone away. So including pronouns is a lot like just saying mister, or miss, but we've dropped the formality. I'm glad to be gone with the formality, but we still need to know which pronouns to use and it's nice to have that upfront. I like and appreciate it. I try to include pronouns when I remember it and when I'm in spaces where that's a norm. I like to follow that for sure every time there. But I'm not always the first person to introduce it. Like if I was giving a talk and there were 30 older white men in the audience who've never heard of this idea, I might not start with he/him because I want to meet them where they're at and bring them to the point where they get it. So I'm not always a frontrunner of this idea, but I love to support it, I love to push it forward, and help people understand it and get on board. It's like there's different stages of allyship, I guess you could say and I really like helping people get from a further backstage to a middle stage because I don't think enough people are in that space and there are plenty of people getting people who are in the middle stage to the more proactive stage. Like, “We should use pronouns!” You hear that all the time in spaces I'm in. It's possible I can get pushback for that kind of thing, like even meeting people where they're at, and that frustrates because I want to be effective. I don't want to just signal that I'm very progressive and doing the right things. I want to actually be effective. I give workshops on this kind of thing, too. That's where we're coming from for the today's talk. MANDY: I think on the last show, it might have been Kate Marshall who said that normalizing pronouns is really important to do, but not just when there's an obvious person in the room who you're not sure. Maybe we even started off on the wrong foot on the show by not saying, “Hi, I'm Mandy, my pronouns are she and her.” Just adding that in to normalize it would be a really good step, I think. CASEY: Yeah, love it. Here's where I like to come with my role. Say, “Plus one, I love that idea. Let's do it now.” I like to activate the idea once it's in the room, but it takes someone brave to bring it up in the first place and it's a different amount of social energy, maybe in a different head space you have to be in to be that first person. But being the second is also very important and I like to help people understand that, too. If you're the second person, that's still being helpful. Maybe you can become the first person in some groups, but I want to celebrate that you're the second person even. That's great. Yeah, I think that's a good change we could do. MANNAH: You mentioned allyship and I think that that is why am so proactive in introducing myself with pronouns because I do present as a traditional man. Well, maybe not traditional, but I present as a man and I have the ability to deal with some of that pushback. We talk about superpowers on the show. I feel like one of my superpowers is I am willing to engage in those conversations, even if they are difficult. CASEY: Mm hm. MANNAH: So I can use my powers for good by starting that conversation perhaps, or starting to build that norm. Whether, or not I am doing it for anyone in particular, it is important for me to do it wherever we are. So I think that just wherever we can make spaces more inclusive with the way we can conduct ourselves and our language, it's important. CASEY: I have a framework to share that's kind of related to that. So there's a spectrum of allyship—that's my title for it anyway—that goes from an active detractor all the way over to an active supporter of an idea. In this case, the active supporter would be getting pronouns to happen in a space where they're not happening. And then in the middle, maybe you're neutral, not doing anything. In the middle on either side, there's a passive – like you're not doing anything, but you kind of support the idea. You're kind of against the idea, but you're not taking any action. And then on the active part, there's even a split between and being proactive and reactive. So for pronouns, I guess the way I'm self-describing here is I'm a reactive pronoun person. For better, or worse, that's where I'm at on that spectrum and that's where I like to help move things along. So I can talk to people who are more maybe passively against the idea because I'm not so far on the right. I like to use the spectrum for another purpose, which is moving people from one space to the next is valuable and often invisible. If you can get someone to be loudly against pronouns to just be quiet, that's a step forward. You've persuaded them a little bit to go in that direction, or if they're there to neutral, or neutral to passively supportive, but quiet about it. A lot of this kind of progress with people who aren't active supporters is invisible and that can be really frustrating for people; it feels like you're not making any progress. So for people who are allies and want to be allies, there's a step forward you can do for yourself, which is getting yourself from being reactive to being proactive. But you're not just helping the people in the room, but helping people who could be in the room, or might be in the future. Reactive to proactive. MANDY: I've been doing that a lot with just actually referring to everybody as they/them no matter if I already know how they present, or not. That, to me, is just the most inclusive way to refer to people in general. CASEY: Yeah, that's generally a safe practice, but there are people who don't want to be called they/them. MANDY: Hmm. CASEY: For example, I have some friends who… Let's imagine a trans man who wants to be considered he/him, they are very invested in this and they want the – If you keep calling them, they/them, even if they correct you, “He/him is my pronouns,” then they're going to be upset about that, pf course. But it is a safe, starting point because the ambiguous they is just generally, it's good grammar, the APA endorses it even. You're allowed to use they when it's ambiguous by grammar rules. But if you know someone's pronouns and it isn't they/them, it's generally better to use those because they prefer it. MANDY: Yeah. That's what I meant. If somebody says to me, “I would prefer you call me she/her, he/him.: But when I'm first, like if I'm even talking to say my dad and I'm talking about work, I would be like, “I have a friend, they did this.” CASEY: Yeah. That's ambiguous day and that's perfectly appropriate there. MANDY: Yeah. But as far as like addressing somebody on a regular basis who wants to be referred to as one, or the other, I have no problem doing that. I've just been training myself to use ambiguous terms because I see and I think it's wonderful. My daughter's 12 and almost all of her friends are non-binary. So when I meet them, or I'm talking about her friends for me, it's just more, I don't want to say easy. I don't want to make it sound like I'm doing it, like taking the easy way out, but I'll just be like, do the they/them stuff to have the conversation and then once I find out more, we can transfer over to the he/him, she/her as I'm corrected, or being asked to do one, or the other. CASEY: Right, right. It's definitely safer to assume you don't know than to assume someone's gender based on how they looked, for sure and the ambiguous they is perfect for that. Even for people who use they/them as pronouns, there's a switch in my head at least—you probably feel it, too—from ambiguous to specific. Like now I know they/them is their pronouns. MANDY: Yeah. I've had no problem. When my daughter has brought new people over, who I know are non-binary, I will say to them even if I already know, because she's told me, I'll be like, “What pronouns do you prefer?” And every single time these are 12-year-olds, 13-year-olds, they're like, “Thank you for asking.” CASEY: Yeah. MANDY: Because a lot of times, I feel it's not very accepted yet. So when I hear, or when they hear me say, “How would you like me to refer to you?” They smile so big. CASEY: Yeah, you're treating them like the individual person they are. MANDY: Exactly, and they're like, “Thank you,” and now I'm known as the cool mom. [laughs] CASEY: Ah. Great. [laughs] Yeah. If I could snap my fingers and change a behavior of mine, that would be one. I would consider everyone's pronouns unknown until they tell me and it also varies by context. I don't even want to trust secondhand. Like if Mandy, you said he for Mannah before I met him, I wouldn't assume that's his pronouns. If maybe you are assuming, or maybe you heard it from someone and they were assuming, or maybe based on context, it's different. I want to hear it from the person, ideally. MANDY: Yes. CASEY: I also don't necessarily want to go around asking for pronouns actively all the time. I'd rather us offer them upfront, or have them in our usernames, or something so it's less verbiage in the air about it. I like it to be normalized. We don't have to think about it. That's a dream state. But for now, I'd rather ask people directly than assume anything. But it's a hard habit because I've been trained from school and everything, since a young age, to assume someone's gender and not to use they at first. That's what we've been trained and I love this trend of untraining that. Ambiguous they is accepted and we should start with that. MANDY: I love seeing people proactively put pronouns in their Zoom profiles, or their Zoom names and at conferences, I love the conferences having badges, or stickers. CASEY: Yeah. MANDY: I love that. CASEY: It's helpful. MANNAH: I want to change directions slightly and go back to something you said about the spectrum and how we move people – I don't remember the exact words you used, the two polar opposites. CASEY: Yeah. MANNAH: But how to move people towards a more inclusive mindset, let's say and wherever you are on that spectrum, you might not know how to move forward and the way to kind of deal with that, you might have questions. I just want to hear from you how you would like to be approached with questions around how do you feel about pronouns, or whatever it might be relating to your culture, or your, I guess, I'm going to say sexual identity. CASEY: Yeah. MANNAH: People are unsure how can they approach you with questions in a way that's respectful and a way that will allow them to learn more about you? CASEY: Good question. I feel like you're reading my mind a bit here. I want to start with another framework that you might have heard of. It's the circles of grief Ring Theory. Like if someone just lost their parent, then you need to pour support into that person who's closest to them and if you're outside like a more distant family member, or a friend, pour support in and then the grief gets stumped out. That's the framework, generally. So there's a lot of rings. People who are closer to it are affected more directly and people who are outside are affected more indirectly. That applies to asking people personal things, too. So I'm directly affected by being queer and I've been discriminated against and people have said bad things to me before. To ask me about it and to bring up those feelings could harm me in some way so you can't just assume everybody's comfortable talking about their experience. Like, “Tell me about how you feel about your dead mother.” It wouldn't be sensitive either because they're experiencing the pain directly, but sometimes people do want to talk about that and they're comfortable, they processed it, and they want to help spread the word. So I'm one of those people; you can ask me anything. Even if you don't know me, you can DM me on Twitter. Anyone listening, ask me a question about queer things. I'll point you to a resource, or answer it myself. I'm offering because I'm comfortable at this point. But a lot of people aren't and, in that case, you could ask if someone's comfortable, that's not a bad idea, or you could ask people who are in further circles out. Like you don't need to ask a queer person about queer experiences if you can read about it in an article online, or watch a documentary, or talk to friends who have other queer friends and they know some things about it. It's not as good as secondhand experience hearing from someone with firsthand experience, but you're causing less harm by making the ideas come up again. So you have a range of ways you can find out more about what it's like to be queer and I encourage you to think about all the different ways you can learn about a thing. You don't have to depend on the person who has [chuckles] this negative experience to do it. Another way you can learn more is by doing workshops, like the ones that I facilitate. So I was thrilled to have a good audience at Women Who Code Philly, actively asking question and learning things, and that's a space where you're supposed to ask questions and learn. I've heard of some people have peers they can talk to like peer support; people you can go to, to ask questions like that. Like my cousin asks me questions sometimes about her kids and that's like peers. Some companies actually have support groups like a weekly, or monthly meeting for people in the company to ask these questions that they have [laughs] and they don't know where to ask them and they can all learn from it. I've seen in some Slacks, there's a Diversity 101 channel in one of the Slacks I'm in people can ask questions like when would you, or would you not use this word? That's a space dedicated to asking questions like that and if someone like me wants to go in and contribute, I can answer questions there, but I don't have to. I know I'm welcome to, and I know I'm not pressured to, and that's a great middle ground and that's a lot of options. You've got to figure out what works for you, who you have around, who you can offer the support to, and who you can ask for the support from. Both directions. MANDY: It's great to have someone like you offering to do that and take on because it is of emotional labor and sometimes when people are curious, I know for me as being bisexual, some people are just like trying to – they're asking out of curiosity, but it's more like, “Give me the dirty details,” or something like that. CASEY: Yeah. MANDY: Sometimes it's like, “We just want to know because I don't – so I want to know what it's like for you,” and I'm like, “I'm not going to share just because –” right now, I am in a monogamous heterosexual relationship. Normally, if I was in a single state, a lot of people just try to ask questions that sometimes can be, I find it more inappropriate and they want to know because they're interested in the salacious details, or something like that. CASEY: Right. MANDY: That rubs me the wrong way and I can usually tell when somebody is asking, because they're genuine, or not. CASEY: There's a big difference between asking to get to know you as a person in the context you're in with the background you have versus asking for salacious gossip. [laughs] MANDY: Yeah. CASEY: And the one is much more kind than the other. It sounds like you've done a good job setting boundaries in these situations saying, “That's not appropriate. I'm not answering that. Sorry about it,” or something like that. MANNAH: Not sorry. CASEY: Not sorry. MANDY: Well, in the same token, it's something that bothers me, too because I feel like a lot of times, I just don't even tell people that I'm bisexual. CASEY: Yeah. MANDY: Because it's easier to not answer the questions because once you open that can of worms, then everybody comes at you and wants to know this and wants to know details. “Have you ever done this?” Or, “Have you ever done that?” It rubs me the wrong way again. CASEY: Right. MANDY: So sometimes I feel almost resentful. I feel resentful that I can't be my full self because it causes people to just ask and the whole conversation, or the whole time I spend with them is focused on this one thing and it's like for me, it's just not a big deal. CASEY: Right, right, right. Like on my Twitter profile—I like to use this as an example—I list out like 10, 15 things about myself on my Twitter profile and there is one little rainbow flag emoji in there at the end and I'd rather you talk about any of the other things probably. I'm willing to share that I'm queer and rainbow I affiliate with, but so much more to me, [chuckles] I'd rather you learn about me before that. MANDY: Yeah. CASEY: But it's the newest, novelist thing to those people who don't otherwise get exposed to it. They fixate on it sometimes and that, they might not realize, can be harmful. It can hurt people like you. It does hurt people. [chuckles] MANDY: It absolutely does. It makes me uncomfortable. So it's not an aspect that I talk about much, especially living in rural/suburban Pennsylvania. It's something that I just kind of, aside from my internet friends and tech community, that a lot of people still don't know about me. CASEY: Right. I can imagine not wanting to share. I used to not share my sexuality either in a lot of contexts and still when I go somewhere like the south, if I go to a place that has more bigotry around, I'm not holding my partner's hand there. I might get attacked even, that happens still in certain environments, they don't get it. Okay, I want to acknowledge that people asking these questions might have good intentions and they're making a mistake and I want to explain what I think the mistake is. MANDY: Yes. CASEY: People want to be treated as individuals, but you can go too far in that extreme and treat someone like an individual and ignore their background. Like it doesn't matter that you've been queer. It doesn't matter that you're Black. It doesn't matter, I'm just going to treat you like an individual. Ignoring all this background is its own kind of overgeneralization in a way is ignoring that background and context. And then there's another way you can do an exaggeration, which is only focusing on that background in context and ignoring the person's individual traits and their individual experiences. The best thing to do is to treat them like an individual who has this context and background putting them both together. So maybe these people are trying to understand you better by understanding this context. Maybe—I'm being very generous— [chuckles] some of these people are probably not this, but some people honestly want to know more about your context to understand you and that's thoughtful. They're just going about it in a way that's not the most helpful, or kind to you and I appreciate those people. But then there are other people who want to use the background and context to overgeneralize and just treat you as a member of this group, a token member, and that is a problem, too. So it's like two ingredients and if you put them together, that's the best and a lot of people focus on one, or the other too much. The individual experience versus the group background context experience. MANNAH: Yeah. That was really well put. I do think that as I said earlier, I'm someone who is very willing to have these. However, the downside of that is that becomes who you're and instead of the entire human being and the other – to take it a step further, some people are uncomfortable with that identity, or uncomfortable thinking about those things. Think about the discrimination that you might face and rather than confront it, or address it, they would rather just not deal with you, or limit their interact. CASEY: Right, yeah. MANNAH: So this is not a question for Casey, this is just something to the group. How can we navigate that and wanting to being willing to share of ourselves, but recognizing that there is some social backlash that can come from that? CASEY: I think my number one thing I want allies to understand is they can support each other in being allies and it can take work to be comfortable talking to each other, to support each other. You don't have to just depend on the queer people to learn queer about things. If one of you learns and one ally learns, they can teach another ally the concept, or the idea, or share how to navigate it. I did a Twitter poll for this, actually. Not a huge sample size, but still. A lot of people only have 1 to 3 people they can talk to about things like this. That's very few and they might not cover all the different situations. So that's my number one thing to help people navigate it is get so support, find support, be support for other people and you'll get support in return for that, too. That's your homework. Everyone, write this down. Find 10 people you can talk to about inclusivity related topics, 10 people. MANDY: And Google exists for a reason. So always, when things come up, I like to Google and I've gotten push back about that several times. “Well, I don't want to put that stuff into my search engine because then all of a sudden, I start getting gay targeted ads,” or something. CASEY: That's true. That's a real concern. [overtalk] MANDY: And I'm, “It's not –” Well, hello, incognito mode. CASEY: Right. MANDY: Thank you, everyone. That's a thing. Use it. [laughs] CASEY: Yeah, and you don't have to feel icky using incognito mode. You can use it because you don't want to ads tracking you. MANDY: Exactly. CASEY: Some people use it for everything. They never use the regular browser mode because they don't want the tracking. It's work to learn things about other people and so, that's why I like to focus on the support part. If you get support from people, maybe you can both be looking up stuff and sharing articles with each other, and that's really multiplying the effects here. MANDY: Absolutely. MANNAH: So we started homework for allies. I think now it might be a good time to talk about what makes good ally. We talked a little bit about how it can feel voyeuristic. Mandy, you talked about how people asking questions can sometimes feel a little picky and we talked about some better ways to asking questions. But are there any other ways that either both, all of us would like to see people be more effective ally? CASEY: Yeah. I want to call back to an earlier point. I want to see more people switch from being reactive to being proactive. To being the first voice. Me included, honestly. Whenever you can get away with it and whatever helps you be proactive, do those things, which might be the support thing I keep talking about. Getting support to be more proactive, becoming accountable to people. If you're already an ally, I'm assuming you're being reactively supportive some of the times. A lot of the people I talk to, who consider themselves allies, would agree, but taking that next step. And there's a different spectrum for each issue, like pronouns is one. Pronouns being shared in meetings. How proactive, or reactive are you for that? I don't even know. There are thousands of things [chuckles] that you can do to become more proactive. MANDY: I would like to say for allies, teaching our children love and not hate. I see a lot of nastiness coming from children and that comes from parents. It's really sad to see sometimes the amount of people who don't – they just spew hate and they're like, “I'm not referring to this person as a pronoun.” Like, “They/them, no. They're a this, or they're –” It saddens me to no end when you are around children to model nasty behavior and I think if you are not the person doing that yourself and you're around it, and you see somebody say something and say, “That's not okay, don't. Do you understand how you sound? Do you understand what you're saying? Do you understand that you're having an effect on everyone around you by giving your nasty opinions and that kind of thing?” CASEY: Yeah. I've got a one word, one liner thing that I like to pull out and I'm proud every time I say it. “Rude,” and I can walk away. It can happen in the grocery store. Someone can say something. It doesn't matter the nuance, what's going on and how I might explain it to them in fuller language. I can at least pull that one word out, rude, and walk away and they are called out for it. I'm proud whenever I can call someone out. MANDY: Yeah. CASEY: I don't always do it, though. The stakes can seem high and it takes practice. So this is homework, too. If you see someone and saying something hurtful to another person, it's your responsibility if you dare claim this to defend the other person and call the person rude, or however you would say the same thing. Say something. MANDY: Yeah, say something. MANNAH: I think that that can be really hard for allies. CASEY: Yeah. MANNAH: And if I had one piece of advice for allies, it would be that sometimes allyship is uncomfortable and that is something that you have to navigate. You can't pick and choose when you're going to… Well, that's not true. There's some discretion, but recognize that being a part-time ally, or a tourist in that space has an effect on people and not confronting your own insecurities, or your own feelings limits your effectiveness in allyship. CASEY: Yeah. It can be a deep question to ask yourself what made me hesitate that one time and what can I do to not hesitate helping next time? You can journal about it. You can talk to friends about it. You can think about it. Doing something more than thinking is definitely more helpful, though. Thinking alone is not the most powerful tool you have to change your own behavior. Yeah, it is uncomfortable. One thing that helps me speak up is instead of focusing on my discomfort, which is natural and I do it, for sure, I try to focus on the discomfort of the other person, or the person directly affected by this and I really want to help that person feel seen, protected, heard, defended. If you think about how they're feeling even more, that's very motivating for me and honestly, it helps in some ways that I am a queer man, that I have been discriminated against and people have been hateful toward me that I can relate when other people get similar experiences. If you haven't had experiences like that, it might be hard to rally up the empathy for it. But I'm sure you have something like that in your background, or if not, you know people who've been affected and that can be fuel for you, too. People you care about telling you stories like this and it is uncomfortable. [chuckles] Getting comfortable with that discomfort is critical here. MANNAH: One of the things that is very uncomfortable is, I think that as we go through life, we all grow is being reflective on the times when maybe we're not inclusive, or maybe were insensitive. At least being able to those situations, I feel like is a great first step. CASEY: Mm hm. MANNAH: Saying, “Hey, I said this about this group of people,” or “I use this word.” Maybe you didn't fully know what it meant and recognized the impact at the time, but being able to go back and be reflective about your behavior, I feel like is a very important skill to help become a more well-rounded individual. CASEY: Yeah. Agreed. And it's a practice. You have to do it. The more you do it, the easier it gets to process these and learn from them. It's a habit also, so any of the books that talk about learning habits, you can apply to this kind of problem, too. Like a weekly calendar event, or talking to a friend once a month and this is a topic that comes up. I don't know, there are a ton of ways you can try to make this habit, grow and stick for yourself, and it varies by person what's effective. But if you don't put it into your schedule, if you don't make room and space for it, it's really easy to skip doing it, too. MANDY: Yeah. It's amazing to look back. Even myself, I'm not the same person. I was 10, 15 years ago. I'm sure. Even as being a bisexual person that back in high school, I called something gay at one point just referring to, “Oh, that's gay.” CASEY: Yeah. MANDY: I'm sure I – [overtalk] CASEY: I'm sure I did it, too. MANDY: I'm sure I've said that. Knowing that I'm not that person anymore, recognizing that, and looking back at how much I've grown really helps me to come to terms with the fact that I wasn't always woke on this subject. We do a lot of growing over our lives. I'm in my 30s now and I've done so much growing and to look back on the person who I used to be versus the person I am now, I get very proud of how far I've come. Even though it can suck to look back at maybe a specific instance that you always remember and you're like, “Oh my God, that's so cringy. I can't believe I did that.” Having those moments to be like, “Well, you know what, that might have happened in 2003, but this is 2022 and look how far you've come.” CASEY: Love it! Yeah, growth. MANDY: Like that just makes me feel so good. CASEY: Yeah. We need the growth mindset. MANDY: And having discussions like this is what has gotten me to this place. Entering tech. I entered tech 12 years ago. I know this because my daughter's 12 and I always like, I'm like, “Okay so when my daughter was born, I got into tech. That's when I started actually becoming a decent person.” [laughs] So I measure a lot of my timeline by my daughter's age and it's just amazing to go back and see how much you've grown. Honestly, you should – another piece of homework, if you can just sit back and think about who you were before and who you are now and reflect on that a bit. MANNAH: We talked about normalizing pronouns, but I think it's also important to normalize sharing that story that you just told. I know I had a similar story where wherever I am on the wokeness scale, I was definitely much less so a couple years ago. I just did not have the same – I did not have enough experiences. I did not think about things in the same way. I did not challenge myself to be empathetic as much as I do now. It is a process and we're all somewhere on that journey. Who you are, like you said, 10 years ago is not necessarily who you are now. If it is, I don't know. I hope I'm not the same person in 10 years. I hope I'm always growing. So to make sure to share with others that it is a process and you don't wake up one day being woke. It is something that takes work and a skill that is developed. MANDY: Oh, you definitely have to do the work. Every year, I do a program. It's an actually a wonderful program. It's called Stratejoy. I can put the link in the show notes. But every year there's this woman who you sit down, you take stock of the last year and she asks a lot of deep questions. You journal them, you write them down, and then you think about what do I want to see? What can I improve? What do I want to do? How can I do so? And then we have quarterly calls throughout the year and really sit down, write it down, talk about it, and reflect on it because it is work. A lot of people make fun of people who read self-help books and I love fiction books just as much as the next person, I want to get away and read before bed at the end of the night, too. But it's really important for me to read books that make me feel uncomfortable, or make me learn, or make me think. I read a lot of books on race. So You Want to Talk About Race was one I read and it had a profound effect on me to read that book and take stock of myself and my own actions. It can be hard sometimes and it can cause anxiety. But I think in order to grow as a person, that's where you need to be vulnerable and you need to say, “No, I'm not perfect. I've done this thing wrong in the past and I don't know this, so I'm going to do what I can to educate myself.” CASEY: Another thing I hear a lot is some people say, “You should not celebrate any progress you make. You should always just feel bad and work harder forever.” Do you ever hear that kind of sentiment? Not in those words. MANDY: Yeah. CASEY: But if you ever say, “I learned a thing and I'm proud of it, here's what I learned,” there's someone on the internet who's going to tell you, “You are terrible and wrong and should do even better. Forget any progress you've made. You're not perfect yet,” and that is so frustrating to me. So here's something I'd like to see from more woke allies is less language policing, more celebrating of people who make progress. A lot of it's invisible, like we talked about on the spectrum. I do like when people get called out for making mistakes, like there's an opportunity for learning and growth, but you don't have to shame people in public, make them feel really bad about it, and embarrassed in front of the whole company. You could maybe do it privately and send a message to the companies talking about the policy in general like, “Don't use this word, don't do this thing.” You can do it very tactfully and you can be very effective. You don't have to just be PC police to the extreme. But if you are PC police to the extreme, I'm glad you're doing something. That's good. But you can be more effective. Please think about how you can be really effective, that's my request for all my woke friends. It can go overboard. It can definitely go overboard, being a language police. MANDY: Yeah, and it can make people who are trying to quit. CASEY: Right. That's a huge risk. I want to give all this a caveat, though, because if – here's an example from a friend's company. There was a presentation and there ended up being a slide with Blackface on it, which if you don't know is a terrible, awful thing that makes Black people feel really bad and it makes the person showing it seem like they are malicious, or oblivious and it shouldn't happen. And then we were wondering like, “What should someone have done in that situation?” Call it out, for sure and move on publicly is a good call there to protect any Black people in the room feel like they're being protected and heard, but not necessarily shaming the person and giving them a 5-minute lecture during that. You can be effective at getting the person not to do it again in private later calling it out to defend the people in the room. Protecting is goal number one for me, but what can you do to change the company culture effectively is a piece that I see a lot of people skipping. If you are just 5 minutes yelling at a person that might make them shut down, you're not being your most effective. So it's a hard walk to balance protecting people, calling people out, and changing the culture. But it's possible and it's work. I guess, it's really two things you're balancing, protecting the person, making them feel part of the group included and cared for versus changing the culture of the group and of the individual. We want both outcomes, ideally. But if I had to pick one, I'm going to pick protecting the person first and then the larger change can happen afterwards. MANDY: Yeah. And if you do mess up, which I've done. I've accidentally misgendered somebody and I felt terrible. All night, I kept apologizing to this person and finally, this person took me aside and said, “You're making it worse by keeping apologizing. Let it go.” CASEY: Yeah. MANDY: So also, not rehashing and banging your head against the wall multiple, multiple times. Apologize and move on. MANNAH: Yeah. If your apology is sincere, then you shouldn't need to repeat it multiple times. Make sure that the person you're apologizing to hears it and make whatever amend need be made. But I do think if you over apologizing, it's more for you so you feel better than it is more for the person that you potentially offended. CASEY: Right and I don't expect you to know that without having thought about it like you are right now. Take this moment and think about it deeper. This is intriguing to you. It is natural to want to apologize forever, but it is also harmful and you can do better than that. I offer a lot of workshops in this vein. Like there's one called Bystander to Upstander. There's another LGBTQIA inclusion where I go through a whole bunch of charts and graphs. There's one called preventing and recovering from microaggressions where you can practice making a mistake and recovering from it in a group. The practice is the key here, like really making a mistake and recovering from it, getting that the muscles, the reactions, the things you say to people, it does take work to get that to be a practice. Even if you already agree you want to, it's hard to put it into practice a lot of the time. I give workshops, including these, for community groups a couple times a month and if you want to get updates on that, that's at happyandeffective.com/updates. Also, I do these for companies so if you think your company would benefit from having these kinds of discussions, feel free to reach out to Happy and Effective, too. That's my company. MANNAH: Well, with that, I think it'd be a great time to move to reflections. What do y'all think? I think this whole episode has been one big reflection to be quite honest, but does anybody want to share anything in particular that has stood out to them throughout the hour we've just spent together? MANNAH: I'm happy to kick it off. I think that we've made some really good suggestions around how people can create more through their own actions. Create more inclusive environments. I do want to say that these are not things that are kind of stone. There are a lot of ways. Everybody's an individual, every situation is different, and I don't want to be prescriptive in saying you have to do certain things. I do want to say that when I'm speaking, this is my experience and these are things that I think can help. So please don't take what I say to be gospel. They are suggestions and if you disagree with them, then I'm happy to have that conversation. But recognize that the people speaking on this panel don't necessarily have the answers, but they are people who are willing to start this conversation. CASEY: The thing I want people to take away is—and you can repeat after me, everyone—I will make mistakes. Good, good. I heard it. I will find more support. Awesome. You're great. Okay. You're on the right path for this now. Mandy, over to you. MANDY: This is not something that you do once and you're done. This kind of reflection and this kind of work is always going to be a work in progress until the day you're no longer here. It's not something you can read a book and be like, “Okay, I did that. I'm good now. I know things.” It's constantly changing and evolving and you need to do the work. You need to have empathy for others and realize that everybody is constantly changing and just because somebody isn't one ting one day, they might be something the other day. I tell my daughter all the time because she's very unsure about who is she and I'm like, “You don't have to know right now. Just because you think you're this, or you're this right now, in 2 years, you might feel differently and you might be this.” So people are always evolving, always changing, and that doesn't just go for how you present either your gender identity, or sexual identity but it also just goes for who you are. I always try to grow as a person and the work is never done. CASEY: No one has all the answers, no one knows everything, and anyone who says they do is lying because it's going to change. It will change. MANDY: Awesome. Well, thank you so much, Mannah and Casey for having this conversation today. I know it's uncomfortable, I know it's a hard thing to talk about, and I'm so grateful that you both showed up to have it. If we want to continue these conversations, I invite anybody who's listening to reach out to us. If you'd like to come on the show to talk about it, reach out to us. We have a Slack channel that we can have private conversations in. You can find that at Patreon.com/greaterthancode and donate as little as a dollar to get in. We do that so we keep the trolls out and if you cannot afford a dollar, please DM any one of us and we will get you in there for free. So with that, thank you again for listening and we will see you all next week.

Microaggressions are one of the main ways racism and prejudice persist, even in health care. But what exactly are microaggressions? Benji Mathews, MD, joins hosts Kari Haley, MD, and Steven Jackson, MD, to talk about the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways discrimination can influence the world around us. They also discuss everyday ways we can recognize and counteract unconscious bias — in both ourselves and others.Hosts: Kari Haley, MD, and Steven Jackson, MDGuest: Benji Mathews, MDDr. Mathews on Twitter: @MDbenjiHealthPartners website: Off the Charts podcastGot an idea? Have thoughts to share? We want to hear from you. Email us at offthecharts@healthpartners.com.

We're proud to present HealthPartners Off the Charts: Examining the Health Equity Emergency. This innovative diversity and inclusion podcast asks candid questions about what equity means for health care. Join hosts Kari Haley, MD, and Steven Jackson, MD – plus leading guest experts – as they:Dig into social determinants of healthExamine the past, present and future impact of disparities within health careTalk about ways to help yourself, friends and neighbors take action, create change and find better healthThrough open dialogue and conversations, we're helping expand the definition of healthy communities.

Bullying Stats: 1 in 5 persons are bullied. Negatively effects a person psychologically , physically, socially, and/or academically   Be an UPSTANDER, rather than a bystander. When bystanders become upstanders, bullying STOPS within 10 seconds 57% of the time.  "In the end, what will hurt us the most is not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." MLK JR. 

Recently a male colleague asked me what he could do to support women at work, and I told him to start by being an ally. Simply speaking up when someone makes a derogatory comment about women, even if it seems innocent enough, is how men can practice this. When one of his colleagues made a comment to him about the size of their female coworker's breasts, he spoke up. He said, “Don't do that. Don't speak about her like that. It's not cool.” While this might seem like a small action, it is really an incredibly powerful way to create equality at work. By speaking up, my male colleague instantly reset the standards for how men speak, think, and interact with each other and the women in that office.  The challenge with allyship is it generally involves spending your privilege. It is uncomfortable. It requires speaking up. Taking action. Calling out inequality, even if you benefit from it. The intervention of bystanders often acts as the crucial brake on acts of bullying and discrimination. We can help bystanders become upstanders or allies by making them aware of the problem of inaction.  Joining us on today's episode is Rohit Bhargava and Jennifer Brown, authors of the book 'Beyond Diversity', who will share the difference between bystanders and upstanders, and how you can take action to tackle inequality when it plays out at work.

October 24, 2021

This episode is a "talk story" session with three community members with prevention education backgrounds discussing their experience with bystander intervention. Learn about how being an upstander can help prevent sexual violence. They also share the challenges of being an upstander, as well as the importance of bystander intervention, and a few tips on what you can do.

Jori Esptein, USA Today NFL reporter of the Dallas Cowboys, and author of newly released Holocaust memoir, the Upstander, joins Rabbi Erez Sherman, on Yom Hashoah, Holocaust Remembrance Day. Jori shares her strong connection to her faith, her commitment to telling the story of the Holocaust, and her ability to tell deep stories on and off the field. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Mary needed a friend. We've all been Mary at different times in our lives. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kimberly-b-lewis/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/kimberly-b-lewis/support

Podcast Guest ISSA SECK - Social Wellness Personal Trainer & Life Coach and Author of Bully Proof: Bullying Stops Here Founder of FitCamp 90 and the A.B.C Anti Bully Camp Issa is a Personal Trainer, Life Coach and Founder of FitCamp90. He is a retired Pro MMA Fighter with a black belt in taekwondo, a bleu belt in Jiu Jitsu and expert level in Muay Thai and Kickboxing. He has a solid background in competitive sports with over 17 years of experience. He understands how to motivate and bring the best out of people even in their worst days.Favorite Quote: “You Don't have to be Great To Start But You Have To Start To Be Great” Issa is also the author of the book “Bully Proof: Bullying Stops Here” and the architect of the Anti Bullying Camp, conflict resolution and build self esteem program, he is your guy if your child is having any of these issues. His ideas on becoming an UPstander are good for all of us to attend to in this current world climate! https://www.fitcamp90.com https://www.facebook.com/groups/1617762715131157/ https://www.facebook.com/antibullycamp/ https://www.amazon.com/BULLY-PROOF-Bullying-Stops-Here/dp/1775118703 --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kristina-welsome/message

Todd and Cathy discuss Jon Krakauer's book Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town and the documentary the Bystander Moment (ZPR and The Tribe Men's Group are hosting a free screening of this movie at the Elmhurst Public Library on July 9th at 7 pm). They discuss the statistics and trauma of sexual assault, and the why it's important to talk to our kids about entitlement, desire, and consent. They explain what it means to be an Upstander and why supporting and speaking up for others is a socially responsibility.

Todd and Cathy discuss Jon Krakauer's book Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town and the documentary the Bystander Moment (ZPR and The Tribe Men's Group are hosting a free screening of this movie at the Elmhurst Public Library on July 9th at 7 pm). They discuss the statistics and trauma of sexual assault, and the why it's important to talk to our kids about entitlement, desire, and consent. They explain what it means to be an Upstander and why supporting and speaking up for others is a socially responsibility.

Deepa Iyer explores how bystanders become upstanders in the context of the train tragedy in Portland and white nationalism. Joseph Santos-Lyons with the Asian Pacific American Network of Oregon and Debjani Roy with Hollaback join the conversation.