Change My Relationship

Journaling is helpful when you need clarity on a relationship problem, a boundary you need to set, on who is to blame, on the dynamics, and more. Watch this video to learn how to journal to get clarity on what is going on and what you should do next in your difficult relationships. Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.      Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/DmBB9J4sEfw  

If you have a difficult daughter-in-law, you are desperate to fix things so you have a better relationship with your son and grandchildren. This video gives you realistic ideas to navigate this touchy relationship. #daughter-in-law #dysfunctionalrelationship #narcissist #grandchildren #grandchild   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/TUicvil4sf0

All-or-nothing thinking causes problems in your life and relationships whether it is your or someone else's. It is just one of many cognitive distortions that is pervasive in dysfunctional relationships in families where communication skills and conflict resolution skills are generally lacking.  This video gives you examples of this black-and-white thinking and alternative ways to communicate. It is a simple change that has a huge impact.          #all-or-nothing thinking #cognitivedistortion #dysfunctionalfamilies #communicationskills #conflictresolution #christianrelationshipadvice  Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/VQDWeJW06qw

I, Karla Downing, am frequently asked why I stayed in my dysfunctional, toxic marriage. The answer is complex and multi-layered, as it is for anyone who has been in a difficult marriage.  This honest, heartfelt exposé on why I have stayed will help you analyze why you have stayed and can even help you understand why you finally left. If you are a Christian in a difficult marriage, you will recognize the confusion over Scripture and misguided teachings. It will also model how you can give yourself grace and compassion rather than judgment and condemnation.   If you are in a dysfunctional, toxic marriage or relationship, or have been in one and need understanding as to what is going on and why you are doing what you have been doing, this video will help you. If you know people in toxic relationships and can't understand why they stay, it will also give you empathy and compassion.   Watch to learn why I stayed in my dysfunctional, toxic marriage. This candid personal analysis from Karla Downing will change your understanding of difficult marriage struggles.   #dysfunctionalmarriage #toxicrelationship #toxicmarriage #christianmarriageadvice #KarlaDowning   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/0qvZAenS1o8 https://youtu.be/0qvZAenS1o8

Healthy friendship has specific components. Evaluate your friendships by learning what they are.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/RvS-9Iazvo8

Your narcissistic child doesn't consider your feelings, needs, boundaries, or opinions. There is no empathy or compassion for you no matter how badly you are treated. Find out why your narcissistic child doesn't care about your pain.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/VQDWeJW06qw

Going home to your dysfunctional family can be different when you change yourself. You can't force them to change or to understand the dynamics. They will likely continue to do what they always have, but your responses can be different.    There are some important things you can do to gain a new perspective. You don't have to engage in the same interactions you have had in the past. You don't have to have the same conversations. You don't have to be triggered in the same way.  Going home to your dysfunctional family after changing yourself can change your life. Do you want to know how? Watch this video to find out the simple choices you can make.      #dysfunctionalfamilies  #changingyourlife  #changeyourself  #christianrelationshipadvice Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/lAGJkPw2t0M

Abusive relationships have cycles. Things get better, then they escalate, and then they get bad. This crazy-making pattern adds to the confusion and self-doubt that is part of emotional, verbal, physical, spiritual, and other types of abuse. The more you know about what is going on, the more you can be empowered to take care of yourself. The abuser has power over you by getting you to question your perceptions. Understanding the cycles allows you to make sense of the roller coaster and maintain your strong self as an abuse survivor.   Part of the abusive relationship cycle is pulling the rug out. Watch this video to identify this strategy used to throw you off balance.   #abusiverelationships #emotionalabuse #emotionalabusesurvivor #crazymaking #abusesurvivors    Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ud9w5C9N0_E  

Did you know that there are five conflict resolution strategies? Even if the difficult person isn't willing to learn them, you should. Having multiple options you can present will increase the chance you can come to a mutually agreeable solution.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/MeTv_-GwUNM

You're doing everything you can to hold onto your relationship with a spouse, partner, child, parent, sibling, or friend, even though it's unhealthy and toxic.  You try to force change through nagging, lecturing, praying, appeasing, controlling, or enabling, yet nothing changes.  What if I told you that what you fear most might be the very thing that could bring about the change you desperately want? If the solution is setting boundaries, even though the outcome isn't guaranteed, are you willing to lose your relationship to get the change you need? Watch this video to strengthen your resolve to set boundaries.  #settingboundaries #christianboundaries #christianrelationshipadvice Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/4NeivpxqSlo

Self-fulfilling prophecies are predictions that cause themselves to become true due to the behavior they generate. They affect your life and relationships in more ways than you realize. The common perception is that they come to pass whether you want them to or not.  It is important to consider how self-fulfilling prophecies are impacting your life. Once you do that, you can make simple changes to align them with what you choose for yourself and your relationships.  Change your self-fulfilling prophecies to change your life and relationships. It's a simple but powerful thing to do.   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.   #selffulfillingprophecy #christianrelationshipadvice #changeyourthoughts    Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/6friV5cGAzA

Dealing with angry people is difficult. You either respond with anger or with fear. Instead, you can learn how to detach from anger to change your relationships.   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.  Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Xd-pqZC_i1k

The dysfunctional family dynamics were caused by my toxic marriage.  My husband insisted nothing was wrong except my reaction, so he refused to look at his behavior. I tried everything to get him to change: praying, nagging, lecturing, therapy (for me), adjusting, pleasing, and more. Nothing worked and the harder I tried, the more out of control I became. I was the one the neighbors heard yelling. I was the one in support groups and marriage counseling. I was the losing my temper. I was the one getting physically sick. I was the one who looked unhappy and miserable. I was the one who looked crazy, not him. And it isn't just toxic marriages, but all toxic relationships where this can happen. If this sounds like you, you need to watch this video to find out how to stop looking like the crazy one. I figured it out and so can you. Stop changing the other person, change yourself instead. #dysfunctionalfamilies #toxicmarriage #dysfunctionalfamily #changeyourself  #toxicrelationships #christianrelationshipadvice    Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/lwupycP8R8k

Difficult people cause crises that you think you have to fix. The healthier thing to do is to detach and let them deal with the consequences by themselves.   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.  Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/HNDIkSFAKSg

Avoidant people avoid for different reasons. Understanding the reason why a particular person avoids will increase your empathy and guide your decisions on what to do and what not to do.   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.  Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/4FjpSuL-DdY

Emotional abusers have many tactics. They include ridicule, name-calling, minimizing, discounting, manipulation, threats, ordering, and withholding. There is another one that isn't typically mentioned, and yet it is equally painful to experience. It is making you irrelevant. Each of us needs to be understood and validated. We also need to belong to groups and to have relationships where we matter. When people make you irrelevant, they withhold these basic things when you have an expectation that you should be included. When this is used to punish and control, it can be devastating. Recognizing this tactic can help you to decrease its power. Watch this video to learn how to respond to the emotionally abusive tactic of making you irrelevant. #emotional abuse #christianrelationshipadvice #irrelevant  #invalidation  Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.  Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/LQgoABXDxEI

What does it mean to have a healthy fear of God? Find out in this video that takes a very practical approach to this topic that will dispel unhealthy beliefs you have. Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.  Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ChD9aHs8gh4  

Dealing with your narcissistic adult children isn't easy. Listen to this video to give you guidelines that help you navigate the landmines.   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.  Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ff2TMjgei4Q

Improving your communication skills improves your relationships. You can take a soft communication approach in your toxic, dysfunctional, and healthy relationships, and it will make a huge difference.  In dysfunctional and toxic relationships, there is pent up emotional energy that comes out in all interactions and especially with conflict. Healthy people also react when something triggers defensiveness.  It is easy to react intensely to people without intending to which can spiral into more drama. You cannot control what other people do or how they react, but you can control how you interact. Learning how to take a soft communication approach in all your relationships is a skill you need to develop. Watch this video to learn how. Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.  #communication skills #toxic relationships #dysfunctional relationships #healthyrelationship  #Christianrelationshipadvice    Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/gPGLaYlP3Nk

Karla Downing offers a vulnerable and honest evaluation of her parenting regrets, looking back from a place of change. With the hindsight that often comes after life moves on, she shares valuable insights that will help mothers and fathers raising minor children, as well as those whose children are grown. Her experience of being angry with her children offers lessons on the parenting mistakes you might have made or are currently making, even if they are not about anger. Evaluating your parenting mistakes is one of the most painful things you can do. No parent starts out planning to hurt their children, but all of us do. Being able to face and admit those mistakes requires that a parent address the what and the why of them. And after that, to do the difficult task of forgiving themselves. If you are having trouble forgiving your parents for their mistakes, it may even help you see their humanity and give you compassion toward them and help you to forgive them.  #angrymothers #parentingjourney #parentingtips #Christianparentingadvice #parentingregrets #forgivingyourself #forgivingyourparents Please listen to this interview Karla has done in the hopes that it will help you.      Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/O4pZFH0Bm8E  

Most of us live with a significant amount of unfinished relationship business. We get busy. We procrastinate when something feels stressful. We have priorities that don't reflect our values. The problem is that we pay a price for not dealing with important issues that should be addressed. The worst possibility is that something happens to the person, and the opportunity to say or do something you wish you had done is no longer there. Whether it is sharing your appreciation, feelings, or love; resolving a conflict, or apologizing for things you regret; spending time with the person, or doing something that you want to do, watch this video to get a new perspective on unfinished relationship business. #unfinishedbusiness #christianrelationshipadvice #resolveconflicts Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/x07_-1bqwXc  

If you have difficult people in your life, you want them to change. Watch this video to find out what you can do to maximize that possibility.   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.    Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Dd8LKAwT3zo  

People who have learned helplessness display specific characteristics. To overcome it, there are specific things you need to do. Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/qjgbqC4AMKQ

Difficult relationships are complicated because the dynamics are confusing and frustrating. While there are various causes of the dysfunction, there are common things that you should do and not do. Watch this video on the dos and don'ts for people in difficult relationships so you won't make your life even harder.   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.    Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ivCM9jcjPeo  

Do you wonder when it is time to move closer to a relationship problem and when to avoid it? Many people avoid dealing with issues for numerous reasons. Others confront everything aggressively. Neither of those approaches is healthy or good. When a problem is long-standing, and both people are avoiding bringing it up, should you? There is often anxiety over issues that are lingering, and it affects your relationship. That anxiety can spill over onto other things and further complicate them. That's one good reason to do it. Another is that resolving conflict brings people closer. When and how to bring it up is important for you to know. If you do it the wrong way, it could backfire. If you want to grow in your ability to resolve conflict, watch this video on when to move closer to a relationship problem.   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.  #relationshipproblems #Christianrelationshipadvice #resolveconflicts    Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/zif3B7-3kDA  

Do you have prickly people in your life? If you do, then you need some help in dealing with them so they don't ruin your life. Watch this video to get the help you need. Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.    Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/rlIlhkWeaP8    

There are many myths and misunderstandings surrounding forgiveness.  One of those involves scriptural truths and the consequences of sin. God's forgiveness wipes away our trespasses and the judgment we deserve. The conclusion might be that when we forgive people, we also have to let go of any consequences of their actions. But would this be correct? It matters how you answer because it impacts the health of our relationships. When you understand what letting go of offenses entails, it will help you put questions about letting go of consequences into proper context.   Watch this Christian relationship advice video to answer the question: Does forgiveness mean letting go of consequences?   #forgiveness  #consequencesofsin #christianrelationshipadvice #scripturaltruths  Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.    Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/823FvfJ2zp8    

Zack Collie experienced a life-changing traumatic injury as a teen that presented him with the opportunity to either persevere or give up. Zack chose the first option, and as a result, he has a message that resonates with those who are facing difficult life challenges. Whether it is a traumatic injury, a debilitating illness, a painful and difficult relationship, the loss of a marriage, the loss of a job or career, or anything else, all of us have those times in our lives where we need to choose how we want to go forward.   Resilience is the secret to facing life's challenges with strength and courage. While some of us learn resilience as children, others have to learn it later in life; however, the good news is that it is never too late. In this interview, Zack uses his personal experiences as a quadriplegic to illustrate how to master the components of resilience, including perseverance, patience, gratitude, and acceptance. The interview is hopeful and helpful. You will be uplifted and inspired as you walk through Zack's injury, rehabilitation, and life's journey. You will find yourself cheering him and celebrating his journey.   Zack is a marriage and family therapist with Inspired Resolutions Counseling in Orange County, California. He loves working with teens and anyone with challenging life circumstances. He runs an online Zoom support group for those with spinal cord injuries. He is available to speak at your church, school, or organization.   Resources:   Inspired Resolutions Counseling: https://www.inspiredresolutionscounseling.com/   Daily Living as a Quadriplegic YouTube Channel: https://m.youtube.com/@zackcollie1994?ra=m   Psychology Today Therapist Information: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/zackery-collie-yorba-linda-ca/1102583Ins   Instagram: zackcollie7 Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.  Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ft6D-cl-P34

Don't complain, blame or explain. These things keep you from moving forward and taking responsibility for yourself. Find out why. Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.    Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/iuqVpdjl900  

When comparing toxic relationships vs. healthy relationships, there are many differences. Boundaries are handled differently. Reciprocity is one-way in one and two-way in the other. One has mutual understanding; the other doesn't. Only one has mutual goodwill and cooperation.  Another difference is how ruptures and repairs are handled. All relationships have conflict and disagreements. All relationships have ups and downs, but not all know how to fix those issues and heal the wounds. Knowing how to recognize the differences can help you identify dysfunctional, toxic relationships, adjust your expectations, and plan your response. All of these strategies will help you make decisions to protect yourself now and in the future. Toxic and healthy relationships have ruptures, but only healthy ones have repairs. Watch this video to get insight into how to identify toxic people and healthy people in the way they handle this difference.    Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.  #toxicrelationships  #toxicpeople #christianrelationshipadvice #dysfunctionalrelationship #conflict #healthyrelationship    Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/whZtxafdOdY  

Caregiver burnout is common for people who are caring for another person. Watch this video to learn how to recognize it and how to care for yourself along with the other person. Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/PyK2SWlRSWs  

Parenting struggling teens is one of the most difficult and challenging seasons of life, and it is no surprise that it is correlated with decreased marital satisfaction. Problems with teens become problems in the family, and according to Brandon Joffe, licensed clinical social worker and founder of Inspired Resolutions Counseling, solutions need to involve the family.     In this interview, Brandon answers Karla's questions on homework, disrespect, anger, emotions, drugs, suicidal threats, discipline disagreements, and more. His practical solutions and experience-based insights give parents hope and help, whether they are at a crisis point or just typical teen struggles.     Brandon Joffe is a licensed clinical social worker with nearly two decades of experience assisting teens, families, and marriages through challenging times. He offers effective, compassionate, and results-driven therapy, specializing in adolescent, parent, and couple issues like anxiety, depression, ADHD, addiction, anger management, and family conflict. He offers multiple support groups, including support for parents of struggling teens and anger management for families. He also offers online courses for ADHD, boundaries, parenting, court-ordered co-parenting, and anger management.     Joffe began his journey as an addiction counselor at the Substance Abuse Foundation, gaining insight into substance abuse's impact on youth. This led him to work with middle and high school students in Compton at Shields for Families, providing therapy in schools and homes. Later, he served as a Drug Court therapist at the Central Justice Center, collaborating with legal professionals to aid recovery. In 2010, Joffe transitioned to private practice with CIFT, engaging with schools and churches in Brea, Anaheim Hills, and Placentia. He developed a holistic approach to therapy, integrating mental health, physical wellness, and nutrition for long-term success. As a clinical supervisor, he trains new therapists. He continues to partner with the With Hope Foundation to provide suicide prevention training in schools.  Inspired Resolutions Counseling is located in Orange County, California.   Resources and Links   Inspired Resolutions Counseling:  https://www.inspiredresolutionscounseling.com   Faith Anchored Boundaries Before Breakdown: https://www.inspiredresolutionscourses.com/courses/faith-anchored-boundaries-before-breakdown-course   Hope For Parents Community: https://www.inspiredresolutionscourses.com/hub/community/c/10830     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/3U4lFbFL6tY  

Have you struggled with setting boundaries with the marijuana smokers in your life?  Do you wonder if it should be okay with you when it is not okay with you? The increase in the use of pot is related to its legalization in many states. With that comes its normalization. Many now believe that is less harmful than alcohol. It isn't easy to tells someone that you don't approve of its use when they can argue that it is accepted and no big deal. Making decisions about marijuana are easier when you know the facts about it. This video will review a recent article about a meta-study on it's effects on the brain, especially if it is link to an increase in psychosis. It also presents other facts about marijuana that will help you decide. Watch this video to help you decide whether you need boundaries with pot smokers.  #boundariesinrelationships   #addictionrecovery #christianrelationshipadvice #marijuanaabuse #christianboundaries  Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. Written copy of this "Boundaries with Marijuana Users" https://www.changemyrelationship.com/christian-relationship-devotional-boundaries-with-marijuana-users/   "Detaching With Love From an Alcoholic or Drug Addict"   https://www.changemyrelationship.com/christian-relationship-devotional-detaching-with-love-from-an-alcoholic-or-drug-addict/   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/3BH1f85dvpg

Dealing with slobs is problematic. You can't make them neat and you can't live with the mess. Watch this video to learn what you can do.     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/q8PY2wbyYes

One of the things we do in difficult relationship is use all or nothing thinking. This means when we see someone do things that are bad, we see the person as bad. When we see the person do things that are good, we see the person as good. This confuses us when we think that we have it figured out. It is better to think a different way.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/qsFiIYjDLHk  

Don and Alexandra (Alex) Flecky were married in 1980 and quickly discovered that baggage from their families of origin showed up in their relationship. They, like many other couples, found that their love for each other was hijacked by their reactionary interpretation of each other's communication.   Their personal experience figuring out how to change their own communication patterns, along with their professional experience working with couples, led Don and Alex to co-author CoupleTalk: Cracking the Code to an Amazing Relationship. In this podcast, they explain why and how their workshop is different than other programs.  They currently head the Relationship Research Foundation, Inc., a nonprofit organization that applies proven relationship-strengthening techniques and develops innovative resources to help today's couples improve their marriages. Previously, the Fleckys served as Shepherds of Marriage Ministries at their home church, Fullerton Free Church (California). Don is licensed as a pastor in the Evangelical Free Church of America and does pastoral counseling. Alex has B.A. and M.A. degrees in Communication Studies, with a focus on Argument and Persuasion, and has taught communication courses at California State University, Fullerton. For over 35 years, they have taught and coached thousands of couples on six continents. They regularly speak at conferences, churches, ministerial groups, marriage retreats, and community events. They are sought out by various churches and non-profit organizations to teach couples classes, train class leaders, develop cutting-edge methods to help couples, and launch specialized couples programs. The Fleckys love using stories from their own marital struggles to give hope to couples. They have three adult children, one granddaughter, and a Sheepadoodle.  They enjoy jet skiing, traveling, and getting a rush out of helping couples. Resources: CoupleTalk: Coupletalk.com Relationship Research Foundation, Inc.: USrelationships.org The Third Option: thethirdoptionoc.com     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/kLjZJaof2aY

Is the Bible all you need for your life and relationships? The majority of Christians and pastors would answer, "Absolutely." It is taught in sermons and Sunday School and is the message of songs sung over many years. It almost seems heretical to ask it.  Yet, it matters because misunderstandings about this issue can cause confusion and pain in people's lives, especially when they are searching for answers. Christian relationship advice often fails to apply the Bible in practical ways that help, especially when it is rigid.  Watch this video to find the answer to the question, "Is the Bible all you need for your life and relationships."   #bible #christianrelationshipadvice #scripturaltruth  Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/C69zmOY66pk  

What is the difference between a boundary and a wall? Watch this video to think about the differences and when you might want to consider one vs the other.     Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/J1B_7sEMADA

Emotional intelligence includes understanding that emotions can be primary or secondary. Recognizing this will help you to be less emotionally reactive in your relationships. Many in dysfunctional, toxic relationships struggle with identifying what causes their emotional reactivity, especially when past triggers contribute and intensify the responses.  The more you understand about your emotions, the easier it will be to make sense of them. It is crucial that you can trace the links between other people's actions and your emotions.  This includes identifying why you are upset and what feelings come first and second. This will also increase your awareness of what is going on in the other person's feelings and reactions. Watch this video to increase your emotional intelligence.     #emotionalintelligence #christianrelationshipadvice #dysfunctionalrelationship #toxicrelationship #emotionalreactivity Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Z2NJCg3otYc

Rachel shares the crazy cycle of hope and despair she experienced in her painful seventeen-year marriage to a narcissistic, abusive husband. With raw emotions and heartfelt concern for other women and men in abusive relationships, she explains why it took her this long to do what finally convinced him to change.  While there is no guarantee that your spouse can and will change, there is hope if you do this one thing in a way you have yet to. And if that doesn't produce change, you will have discovered something valuable that you need to know once and for all.    Resources: "CoupleTalk: Cracking the Code to an Amazing Relationship" offers a set of powerful communication tools which teach you healthy ways to communicate as a couple about any topic – no matter how sensitive – and help you to improve your everyday communication. CoupleTalk combines insightful video-based instruction, interactive in-class exercises, and a workbook filled with practical advice and helps. It can be used by a couple alone at home, in a small group at home or church, or in a large group of couples as a weekend retreat or couples conference. Many counselors and pastors also use CoupleTalk as an “at home” supplement to their work with couples. https://coupletalk.com/ Hosting Your Own Class: CoupleTalk Hosts are regular couples and individuals who agree to host the video series at their church or community center, or even in their home. No special training is needed to host the video series, and CoupleTalk offers a variety of helpful supports. https://coupletalk.com/   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/6VEs7Ht_lHo

What can you do when your family won't talk about what needs to be talked about? Dysfunctional families don't want to address issues. Here are your options.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/F2Vrq3JWMyg

There are four types of controllers who attempt to control you. You need to know who they are and what they do so you can refuse to allow their controlling to work. Watch this video to see what they are.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/mM9bpzSDF54

Do you find yourself stuck in a rut, unable to move forward after a difficult life change or loss? It could be retirement, death of a loved one, loss of a job, loss of a relationship, a family split, an unexpected life turn or even an empty nest.  It takes time to navigates a grief journey, seasons of life changes, and loss, but sometimes it takes longer to adjust than you want. If this describes you or someone you know, you would benefit from these practical steps to get you out of a rut to help you with getting over it.  Watch this video to find out what those practical steps are.    #christianrelationshipadvice #seasonsoflife #gettingoverit #loss  #griefjourney   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her messages, books, and classes provide practical solutions based on biblical truths that bring balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/53MySmdrdPY

Christians believe that God wants them to put their spouses first before their children. This is especially true when women believe that they need to submit to their husbands. Watch this video to find out when the children need to put first.   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her messages, books, and classes provide practical solutions based on biblical truths that bring balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/dfubuhOI2GI

If you have trouble asking for help when you need it, watch this video. You need to learn that it is good for you to admit you can't do everything by yourself.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/RO66snUOCzQ

Do you find yourself frequently feeling resentful about what other people did or make you do? Resentment isn't a fun feeling and it can interfere with your enjoyment of life. Watch this video on how not to be resentful.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/g9eaW7kAXSY

Have you been receiving Christian marriage and relationship advice from counselors, pastors, family, and friends that you are fifty percent responsible for your part in the relationship problems? Have you been told just to give 100% of everything you can and let God deal with the other person? Or maybe that it takes two to fight? Or even if your spouse doesn't do their part that you have to do yours? Hearing those responses is frustrating, dismissive, and even infuriating when you are stuck in a relationship with someone in your dysfunctional family who is doing things that hurt you and your children. They make you feel hopeless when you know you have already tried everything you can, and it isn't working. Watch this video to find out why those responses are incorrect. It will be empowering #relationshipproblems #dysfunctionalfamilies #christianrelationshipadvice #christianmarriageadvice Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her messages, books, and classes provide practical solutions based on biblical truths that bring balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/MYAayQsMkBw

It's not easy to admit wrongdoing when it is pointed out to you. The natural reaction is to rationalize your actions. It matters how you react because it affects your relationships with everyone, including God. It may seem like an unimportant issue, but it isn't. You know how frustrated and exasperated you feel when someone refuses to take responsibility and instead uses blame-shifting. Watch this video to find out how you can admit your wrongdoing and stop rationalizing your actions. Accountability matters, and apologizing is important, even in your dysfunctional relationships. #dysfunctionalrelationship #rationalization #takingresponsibility #apologize #blameshifting #christianrelationshipadvice #accountability   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/31s2KPmKTb4    

If you are in a dysfunctional relationship, you are probably focused on the other person's life and not on your own. You may be trying to rescue and fix, because if you don't, nothing for you will change. This may have been going on for so long that you don't even remember what it was like to feel carefree enough to focus on yourself. The problem is that if you don't pay attention to yourself, you could lose too much time because there is no guarantee that there will ever be any change. And even if and when there is, you may have lost so much of yourself that you may not be able to get it back. It isn't easy to let go of the obsession to change someone else, but it can be done. Watch this video to find out how you can focus on living your life in spite of your dysfunctional relationships. #dysfunctionalrelationship #christiancodependency #liveyourlife   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/x5B6R2ilo88    

Manipulative setups by manipulators are purposeful acts that force you into a dilemma that is then exploited to get what the manipulator wants.     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/5RgUFicVFYo

There is an epidemic of parental estrangement, but what are the causes? Your adult child refuses to have anything to do with you and doesn't let you see your grandchild. This is in spite of all the things you have done for your child and all the sacrifices you have made. You don't know the reason is and you can't get an answer. You are devastated. But you are also confused. How could this be happening? What could cause so many adult children to walk away from a relationship with their parents? Why aren't they aware of the hurt they are causing, and why don't they appear to care? Is it the parents' fault or is it the adult children's fault? There are many causes of this epidemic of parental estrangement. If you are one of the estranged parents, the adult children walking away, or anyone else who is dealing with this issue, you need to know what they are.  Listen to this podcast to find out. #parentalestrangement #familydysfunction #grandparentsrights #narcissists #christianrelationshipadvice   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/69r21422xFE