Change My Relationship

Dysfunctional and toxic relationships have many relationship problems that go unresolved indefinitely. When evaluating how to resolve conflict, you need to consider whether there is a possibility of relationship healing, given the ability of both parties to discuss the issues. Many times, one person wants to resolve them, and the other does not. One person can listen to and understand the other, and the other cannot. One can take responsibility and be accountable for their choices, and the other can't.   If you can resolve the past, it makes moving forward easier. But if you cannot resolve the past, is it better to let it go to move forward, or is it better to try to force conversations about the past that are likely not to get anywhere? You are the only one who can decide. It might be better to let it go, or it might be better to try to force a resolution.  Watch this video to find out if you have to resolve the past to move forward in a dysfunctional relationship.       #dysfunctionalrelationship #christianrelationshipadvice  #relationshipproblems #toxicrelationships #relationshiphealing #conflictresolution     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/kYzniL-ouGU

Emotional manipulators make promises and give you gifts to get you to do what they want. You need to recognize when these promises and gifts are being used to get you to give in to the manipulators demands.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/IqIII8W5lZg

It is difficult to have a family member with mental illness. There are some basic principles you can follow that will help you increase the chance of improved mental health. There are also things you can do that will make it worse. You need to know what to do and not do. You care about your family member with mental illness, but you also have to care about yourself and the rest of the family. Everyone matters. There needs to be a balance between the needs of the person struggling with mental health and everyone else. Learn how to do that. Watch this video to find out what you can do to help your family member with mental illness. #mentalhealth #familyproblems   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/aMn2WQrUlts

Tawni shares her story of survival in an abusive marriage and her healing journey after her decision to divorce. She and Karla discuss how churches respond to abuse victims in a way that often causes more pain. They identify common phrases that, sometimes unknowingly, twist Bible verses and lead to misunderstanding the right way to respond. The hidden message is often one that produces guilt and over-responsibility for the victim. They also offer suggestions on how to support children in abusive marriages and through divorce. Tawni and Karla's personal experiences in abusive marriages drive their passion to help people navigate and heal from abusive relationships. Their conversation is filled with helpful tips for anyone who has experienced abuse and/or interacts in any way with victims.             Tawni Carney is a single mother of three whose path blends creativity, ministry, and healing. After beginning her career designing swimwear for national retailers and launching her own children's wear line, she went on to serve as a Children's Pastor in Costa Mesa. For over 20 years, she has ministered to women throughout Orange County, California, offering support and hope. She founded Gang of Arrows, a life-skills program that grew to multiple studios, creating safe spaces where kids learn, create, and believe their “hands are made for good.”   Today, as the Acting Executive Director of Eagles Wings Global in Orange County, California, Tawni carries a message of deep faith in God's power to restore. The mission of Eagles Wings is to bring hope and healing to survivors of domestic violence. They advocate, educate, and empower women and men to discover their true value and worth to break the cycle of abuse in their families. They provide physical, emotional, and spiritual support to those seeking freedom and restoration. Eagles Wings also desires to train churches and their staff to identify abuse victims and respond to them in a way that offers support rather than harm.   Resources Eagles Wings Global is an organization that supports abused women and men in Southern California. The website lists resources, which include in-person and Zoom "Love Does No Harm" groups. They also have a phone line to receive personal support. Tawni Carney can be reached through the website.  https://eagleswingsglobal.org       Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/yN1su0zUxYU

In dysfunctional families, people do a lot of things that are unhealthy and destructive. Watching them causes anxiety because of the harm they can do to themselves, you, others, and the relationship. The obsession with changing them can be all-consuming if left unchecked. It can even make you physically and emotionally sick. The solution is to manage anxiety over others' choices. There are things you can do that will make it easier. Your life doesn't have to be ruled by things outside your control, even when that is your dysfunctional family.  Learning how to manage anxiety over others' choices will change your life by changing yourself. Watch the video to find out how to do it. #dysfunctionalfamilies   #manageanxiety  #changeyourself   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/W9_zGj786hA

Getting mentally ill people to medicate is a frustrating experience. Yet, they have to in order to get better and be more independent. Watch this video to look at the real-life options you have. Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/LnH3ylmyJBc

Unfortunately, the stigma of mental illness in the church still exists in various ways. People hold misconceptions about the cause and treatment, which makes it harder for those struggling with mental health. Some of these misconceptions can cause actual harm because they prevent people from speaking up and from getting the treatment they need.  It is important to understand scriptural truth about what causes mental illness and what is required to treat it. Whether you struggle with mental illness yourself or you encounter people struggling with it, knowing how to correct the misconceptions and biases rather than perpetuating them will bring hope and healing. Watch this video on the stigma of mental illness in the church.  #mentalhealth #scripturaltruth  Resources: Grace Alliance offers mental health resources and groups in the church: https://mentalhealthgracealliance.org/  National Alliance of Mental Illness offers information and support groups: Nami.org   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/0aYt25ojZPM

Have you ever felt lost in conversations where resolution seems out of reach? Have you wondered why every attempt you make to explain is met with roadblocks that leave you even more frustrated? If so, you might be encountering what Annette Oltmans of The Mend Project calls "The Maze of Confusion."  The Maze of Confusion is a strategy used by emotional abusers to derail genuine communication. By weaving a complex web of distractions and dead ends, they prevent meaningful dialogue, leaving their partners overwhelmed and disoriented. Instead of engaging in healthy conversations, these tactics create barriers to understanding and resolution, leading to increased confusion and emotional pain.   In this conversation, Annette and Karla talk about the tactics used to block communication in emotionally abusive relationships from their own experience and from their work with thousands of abuse victims and survivors. Their conversation contrasts unhealthy tactics that prevent resolution with the characteristics of healthy communication that foster understanding and resolution.   This podcast is packed with helpful information that empowers abuse victims and abuse survivors. They need labels for the tactics that are used to control them. They need to understand the motives that drive the abuser's behavior. They need validation to counter the gaslighting and invalidation.      Understanding and navigating this maze can be challenging, but you don't have to do it alone. Annette is the founder of The Mend Project, an organization that seeks to educate, equip, and restore all who are impacted by emotional abuse and train those who interface with them personally or professionally. Please take a moment to review their resources. #confusion  #emotionalabuse  #emotionalabusesurvivor #domesticviolencesurvivors    Resources and Links:    The MEND Project - https://themendproject.com/   Find Clarity and Healing Course - https://themendproject.com/find-clarity-and-healing-course/   "My Journey Through Double Abuse" - interview of Annette Oltmans' story. https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-a4tmz-1004118   "I Was a Covert Emotional Abuser" - Interview of Bucky Oltmans' story  https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-ebkpt-107fd04   Maze of Confusion, Terms and Definitions and Other Free Resources from The MEND Project - https://themendproject.com/resources/   Karla Downing's Classes - https://www.changemyrelationship.com/current-and-upcoming-classes/     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ewZv3bY0tcg

If you are a Christian in a dysfunctional, toxic marriage, you are desperate for Christian marriage advice. When you see marriage books or conferences by Christian authors and speakers, you are willing to buy the books and attend the conferences. You try to apply their ideas, even if your spouse isn't.   There is only one problem: not everyone who offers you advice understands what you are going through. Some of their ideas can make your situation worse. You even have to be careful when you seek out Christian counseling.  So if you have more than a few minor marriage problems, you are struggling with addiction, abuse, affairs, narcissism, manipulation, mental illness, emotional abandonment, or other complex,  dysfunctional, and toxic dynamics, be careful. Don't go to Christian marriage conferences or read Christian marriage books. Watch this video to fully understand why that is a bad idea and what you need to do instead.   #christianmarriageadvice  #dysfunctionalrelationship  #toxicrelationships  #christiancounseling #Christianmarriageconferences     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/O3IWdojI-wc

Self-evaluation is healthy and necessary. The problem is that codependents, including Christian codependents, tend to take too much responsibility and end up invalidating themselves. This video will show you how to evaluate, not invalidate yourself.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/wYvGZaLQf6I  

People in the church have adopted the idea of soul ties. They are believed to explain the strong connections between people that are difficult to break. It is important to analyze whether this is true or whether there are other explanations for them that make as much or more sense. They are also presented as biblical, but are they? Is there evidence of them in Scripture? Knowing scriptural truth about them is essential. Just because they are presented that way doesn't mean they are. Understanding what soul ties are and whether they are biblical is good to know because at some point, someone may tell you that your relationship struggle is caused by a soul tie. If it is, you need to know how to break it, but if it isn't, you don't want to be led astray. #soulties #scripturaltruth   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/0u8pWicMRoQ

Do you believe you should deal with the situations that make you angry before you go to sleep at night? Ephesians 4:26 tells us to be angry and not sin. That may mean you should go to sleep without confronting.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/FcWI8PUSvak

Does God want us to suffer? Christians say many things, giving the impression that He does. We hear that God brings suffering to make us rely on Him. We hear that God wants us to grow and mature through trials. We also hear that God is glorified through our suffering. There are Bible verses that teach all those things.  If God wants us to suffer and it brings out so much good, should we seek out ways to suffer? Is it okay to do what we can to end our own suffering? Is every type of suffering the same?   These and other questions need to be answered, because how you view and how you respond to suffering matters, especially in our dysfunctional, toxic relationships.  Watch this video to hear the answer to the question, "Does God want you to suffer?"     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/bOTVgXfagwo

Is it okay to want a good life as a Christian? Is it okay to strive for material possessions to give our children a good life? I answered this question for one of my subscribers. Find out what I said.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/sPqjGc-hZZc

Are generational curses causing the problems in your toxic relationship? Some Christians think they are. The scriptural truth matters because what you believe is causing the problems will guide your approach to dealing with them. There are many combinations of problems you may have to deal with, and many options for how to address them. You want nothing more than to help your loved one and fix your relationship. To do that, you need to understand not only what is happening but what is causing it. Dysfunction does run in families. No one can deny that. But are generational curses causing the problems in your toxic relationship? Watch this video to find out. You need to know. #generationalcurses #toxicrelationships #scripturaltruth #dysfunctionalrelationship #dysfunctionalfamilies    Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/1-Vi2pa2Tzw

How can you get unstuck in your life and toxic relationships? If you're in the middle of a maze of problems and unable to resolve them, you are frustrated and overwhelmed. If you are in a dysfunctional relationship, you are confused. You can find suggestions everywhere on what you should do, but what will work? What is the next step? Too much information can make it worse. What you need is simple, practical, and easy to apply immediately Christian relationship and marriage advice from someone who understands. This video gives you what you need from someone who understands. Karla Downing has been in many dysfunctional, toxic relationships and knows what works and doesn't work.    If you want answers now, watch "How to Get Unstuck in Your Life and Toxic Relationships." You will get them.       #toxicrelationships #dysfunctionalrelationship #Christianmarriageadvice  #christianrelationshipadvice   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/sGij1UKK1zo

How can you identify a difficult person? The answer to that question is critically important because you need to know who you are dealing with whether it is someone you are married to, related to, or have just met. Listen to this video to find out how to identify a difficult person.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/_oKIO048qfY

You are told to listen to what people say with an open mind and to try to understand their perceptions, but what do you do if the person has distorted perceptions? Listen to find out.     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/aXRUjZnaw9I

Manipulative undermining occurs when a person deliberately and deceitfully does whatever it takes to take away your power. Learn more about this manipulative tactic by watching this video.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ocr8t7MzpLk

Are you living congruently in your relationships? You are not if you are not setting boundaries and living in a way that aligns with your values and convictions. Dysfunctional and difficult relationships often weaken our resolve to stand up for what we believe is right. Watch this video to find out how to live congruently in your relationships.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/sAyVEsndmW8

Many things are said in Christian circles that lead us to draw conclusions about scriptural truths that aren't completely accurate. One of those is that God breaks those who love him. Have you gotten the impression that even though God is good, He wants us to be broken so He can teach us? I know I have. I hear things said all the time that lead to that conclusion, but in this video, I challenge the belief that God breaks those who love him. #scripturaltruth #godisgood   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/0JcEhgcH53w

You know the saying, "Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result." This applies to dysfunctional families, dysfunctional relationships, and toxic relationships. They can literally make us do crazy things. And the dynamics are so complicated and confusing that it is difficult to figure out how to change our reactions. Remembering simple relationship tips is helpful. One of those is "Do something different to change the outcome." Try it and see what happens. Can it be any worse than continuing to do the same thing and getting the same result?   #dysfunctionalrelationship  #toxicrelationships  #dysfunctionalfamilies  #relationshiptips     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/_-RxRP08YbA

Dysfunctional families have lots of friction and disagreement that isn't easy to navigate. There are a myriad of problems. One of those is when you don't like your child's partner. There are many reasons that it might be that way. Yet, how you react to this situation is similar regardless of the reasons. There are things you can do that will damage your relationship and cause more relationship problems. There are things you can do that will improve your relationship now and in the future. Even though your concerns are valid, you want to respond in the right way. You need this parenting advice now, even if you have already made some mistakes. Watch this video when you don't like your child's partner. You will be glad you did. #dysfunctionalfamilies #parentingadvice #relationshipproblems   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/IdD5zomzXWc  

Dysfunctional families have lots of relationship problems. One of the big ones is when your wife doesn't like your family. Whether it is one or both of your parents, your siblings, or anyone else, it causes a huge amount of stress and subsequent landmines you have to navigate as a husband.  Not only is your wife unhappy, you know your family isn't happy. You are in the middle and need help to navigate in a healthy way that doesn't unnecessarily damage your marriage and cause more problems for you and your kids. But you also want to consider your family's needs, especially when it involves your parents. There's one more consideration and that is you. You matter too and yet, it is easy to lose sight of that.  While this video can't answer all your questions and can't address every scenario, it focuses on the similarities and offers principles you can keep in mind, including biblical ones. It also helps you to view the problem in a larger context because it is easy to get lost in the details of the latest disagreement.    You need this Christian marriage advice now, even if you have already made some mistakes. Watch this video when your wife doesn't like your family. You will be glad you did. #dysfunctional  #dysfunctionalrelationship  #wifeandhusbandrelationship #relationshipproblems #christianmarriageadvice   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/zsq9Zb6q7ik

In your abusive relationships, is power over you an illusion? I know it doesn't seem like it is. The abuser exerts control, and it feels impossible to challenge it. You feel stuck, victimized, confused, and powerless. It takes a lot of work to be able to stand up against verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and any other abuse controllers use. One of those things you can begin to do to feel more empowered is to question the abuser's tactics. It helps to consider the basis of the abuser's power and control. If it is only perceived power, you have choices about what to do and how to respond that you didn't know you had. Watch this video to navigate your abusive relationships and find out the answer to this question: Is power over you an illusion? Abuse survivors know the answer, and you need to know it too. #abusiverelationships #power #emotionalabuse #abusesurvivors #controller Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/7zGHKNhHQb0  

Holidays are painful for people who are going through grief, loss, dysfunctional relationships, and painful memories among many other things. Listen to this video to get ideas on how to deal with holiday triggers.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/wJ3tpxGNe8k

Self care for the holidays is essential for everyone but critical for anyone dealing with dysfunctional family dynamics. Watch this video for some practical ideas.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/2fHR1tqiteE

Healing from sexual betrayal is a complex process that involves navigating the six stages of grief. Betrayal trauma recovery is necessary when trust has been violated by someone who should have been faithful and trustworthy. It is necessary to heal from all types of infidelity: emotional and sexual affairs, sexual addiction, prostitution, and any other sexual acting out. The betrayal involves many losses, which must be grieved to heal. Understanding the process helps make sense of this deeply painful and devastating experience. Knowing there is healing at the end gives hope when otherwise it would seem hopeless. Healing from sexual betrayal involves navigating the six stages of the grief journey. Watch this video to learn what each stage involves so you have an idea of what you need to go through. #betrayaltraumarecovery #healingfrominfidelity #griefjourney   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/pXaEXO1l0nk  

Toxic relationships are full of complex dynamics, unresolved problems, and painful feelings. We react to all those things by trying to fix, control, and change people. Even when it doesn't make sense to hang on, we do. We don't realize that the only choice we have is to let go or be dragged. Whether it is love, guilt, trauma bonding, codependency, or fear, we keep trying to make things right even when it hurts us. We need reminders, assurance and a guide in toxic relationships to make a decision on whether to let go or be dragged.     #toxicrelationships #letgo    Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/bE0sA9rzvsA  

Bobbie Tea describes an unbelievable lifetime of abuse starting at two years of age. Her story is living proof that abuse victims continue to pick abusers until they get strong enough to say, "No more!" In Bobbie's case, her abuse history included a pervasive family history of sexual molestation that strongly suggests there is a spiritual generational component.   According to the U.S. Department of Justice, statistics show that family members perpetrate 34% of child sexual abuse cases. According to Darkness to Light, a non-profit organization committed to preventing child sexual abuse, "The younger the victim, the more likely it is that the abuser is a family member. Of those molesting a child under six, 50% were family members. Family members also accounted for 23% of those abusing children ages 12 to 17." Ninety-one percent of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone the child or their family knows. Physical, verbal, and emotional abuse typically accompany sexual abuse.   Bobbie's story illustrates the resilience of abuse survivors and the power of God's love to heal. It is a story of pain and hope, at the same time.    Bobbie Tea's memoir, There Once Was a Girl: A Memoir With a Message, is available on Amazon.  https://amzn.to/3XkOfaA   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/yDppTqmUttY  

Shame-based people react to anything you say that criticizes them or threatens to expose their weaknesses. They also do other dysfunctional things that range anywhere from codependency to addiction to abuse and more. Watch this video to get more understanding about why shame-based people do what they do and also learn how to respond to them.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/on69zPoFt-Y

Christian codependency can affect whether you are a healthy or a codependent caregiver. When you need to care for someone in your life, it is never easy. Whether it is caring for an elder parent, a mentally ill or disabled child, or a chronically sick spouse, you will need to be intentional about the boundaries you set. It is hard to figure out how to take care of yourself when the demands are overwhelming. Watch this video for caregiver support in finding out how you can be a healthy, instead of a codependent caregiver. It will change your life. #codependent #christiancodependency #settingboundaries #caregiversupport   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/y-xAtNkZYVw

Holidays are difficult for people who have dysfunctional families. They are also painful for people with loss and bad memories. While you cannot change the circumstances, one of the things you can do is to change your expectations. Watch this video to see how this simple change can make a big difference. #changeexpectations #holidayemotions #dysfunctionalfamilies   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ZDxMivGYs8M

Sex in your dysfunctional, painful, toxic marriage is impacted by the problems. Sexual dissatisfaction is high when you have anger, hurt, and rejection and many unresolved problems. You don't feel like being intimate with a person who causes you pain and doesn't care. Christian marriage advice often tells you to have more sex because your body belongs to your husband. Yet, doing that only makes you feel worse. Setting boundaries with sex is discouraged, but you need to know the scriptural truth about what you can do to deal with sex in your dysfunctional, painful, toxic marriage. Watch this video to find out. #toxicmarriage #dysfunctionalrelationship #sexualdissatisfaction #christianmarriageadvice #scripturaltruth #settingboundaries     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/2sCucHoCrOw

In Christian codependency, we believe we are doing the right thing to stay in toxic relationships, whether with our spouse, partner, friend, or family. We believe we are supposed to sacrifice, give, tolerate, overlook, and forgive. Two become one in marriage. The church is our family. We honor our parents. We respect our elders. These along with the dynamics in toxic relationships, often result in us losing ourselves. If you have trouble setting boundaries and separating yourself from toxic people, it may be because you are enmeshed. Watch this video to find out if you are enmeshed. The answer is important. Watch this video to find out. #christiancodependency #enmeshment #toxicrelationships   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/nHveAQiNy3o  

Trying to convince people of your truth can lead you to talk too much, push too hard, over-react, and waste your time and energy. You might be surprised to know that it isn't your job to convince them.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/UAJP25G0wPA

The last straw in the relationship is the thing that appears to cause it to end. It leaves people questioning themselves and rehearsing things over and over to figure out how it could have gone differently. The truth is that it isn't really the cause. It is usually something else. Find out what it is. #finalstraw #dysfunctionalrelationship    Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ziuObkOuAJs  

Should you tell your church about your relationship problems? This is an important decision because many church pastors, elders, leaders, and members don't understand toxic relationships, complicated, dysfunctional relationship problems, and emotional abuse.  They may not believe that Christians should have boundaries, and you may end up suffering double abuse, where you are discounted and invalidated by them. Even biblical counseling sometimes offers bad advice because the counselors may not have the proper training to recognize what you are dealing with and have limited therapeutic interventions. Watch this video to find out what you need to know when deciding to tell your church about your relationship problems. #christianboundaries #relationshipproblems #emotionalabuse #doubleabuse #toxicrelationships #biblicalcounseling    Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/pNK1SaUs_Zo  

People manipulate you by creating fear in you. Knowing what you are afraid of shows them ways to get you to do what they want. Watch this video to learn how you can refuse to be manipulated by fear.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Lh2HQQ0yG8E

Raising children in dysfunctional families is difficult because you know they are being impacted by the chaos. You can't make everything okay for them, but you can help them. One of the things you can do is to teach your children to detach from the dysfunction. Detaching with love is a coping skill to help them avoid taking things personally. If you use it, you know how powerful it is. Watch this video to learn how to teach your children to detach in dysfunctional families. #detachwithlove #dysfunctionalfamilies #parentingadvice   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/WNKQ2zrQzwk

In toxic relationships, when people show you who they are, you need to believe them. But, we often don't. We give them the benefit of the doubt again and again. We believe their lies by gaslighting ourselves. And, we doubt that they could really be that bad. This gets us in all kinds of stressful dysfunctional relationship dynamics because they haven't changed, are who they are, and don't care how we are affected.  We do this because of the invalidation we are accustomed to in toxic relationships. It is for these reasons that we have to trust ourselves.  Watch this video to find out how you can get to the place that when people show you who they are, you believe them. When you do, they will prove you are right, instead of wrong.  #toxicrelationship #invalidation #gaslight #dysfunctionalrelationship   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/5BFVBimFgk8

Heather was married to a sexually addicted gay man for twenty-four years before she divorced him. Listen to her story to discover how denial, gaslighting, rationalizing, and magical thinking can lead us to believe a lie when we could see the truth.  Sexual addiction destroys intimacy and trust. It is even more challenging to come to terms with the fact that your husband is attracted to men, and yet the signs are often obvious.  Heather Bennett Nuṅoz is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Heather shares her personal and professional insight and experience for women married to sexually addicted and/or gay men. She talks candidly about what the primary indicator of success with rehabilitation is and what women should prioritize after discovering a sexual addiction.  If you or someone you know is in a relationship with a sex addict, please watch, listen, and share. You are not alone, and knowledge gives you power. #sexaddictiondiscovery  #sexaddictionrecovery  #denial   #gaslighting     Recommended Resources:   "Straight Wives, Shattered Lives: Stories of Women With Gay Husbands," Bonnie Kaye. https://amzn.to/4naUKqU   Straight Wives, Shattered Lives Volume 3: True Stories of Women Married to Gay and Bisexual Men," Bonnie Kaye. https://amzn.to/42MefPl   APSATS-trained therapists who work with sexual addicts and their spouses: https://apsats.org/   Be Broken Ministry who work with sexually addicted men and provide a support group for recovery: https://www.bebroken.org/   Be Broken Ministry groups and resources for the wives of sex addicts: https://www.bebroken.org/wives   Karla's Resources:   Women Thriving in Difficult Marriages Zoom Class  https://www.changemyrelationship.com/women-thriving-in-difficult-marriages-zoom-study/   Truth in the Mirror https://www.changemyrelationship.com/truth-in-the-mirror-class/   10 Lifesaving Principles for Women in Difficult Marriages, by Karla Downing   https://amzn.to/3JjEw0I   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Bg_RFA1OPvY

Reciprocal relationships are healthy relationships that are balanced. Unhealthy relationships are not reciprocal and not balanced. All of our relationships should be reciprocal regardless of which one it is. Some people have all unhealthy relationships and some have only one or two unhealthy relationships. Learn what you need to do to make all your relationships reciprocal.     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/hYIMnjKFav8

Not all friends last forever. Some are for a reason and a season. When a friendship is no longer working, it may require setting boundaries. When is it time to end a friendship? Watch this video to find out how to recognize the signs and how to do it. #friends #friendship #settingboundaries #christianboundaries    Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/DOT09X02BJw  

Are you willing to lose your relationship to win it back the way it should be? When you know you cannot continue the way things are, you have to decide if you are willing to lose that relationship. When you let the old one go, you may get a new one in its place. #dysfunctionalrelationship #toxicrelationship #selfcare     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/D_13DEw2XLI

Setting boundaries involves deciding what and where you give your time, energy, emotions, and resources to. There are conflicting priorities, pressures, and people to consider. We often forget to include our own needs, especially when we are dealing with dysfunctional relationship dynamics. One of the helpful things to remember when setting boundaries is that when you say yes to anything or anyone, you say no to yourself. This powerful reminder can help you remember to take care of yourself, especially when you struggle with Christian boundaries, thinking you have to put yourself last. #dysfunctionalrelationship #boundaries #selfcare   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ABs37QbD71o

You pick up the pieces. You cover up the lies. You pay the bills. You bail them out. You make excuses. It feels like you are doing what you have to do, but what you are doing is giving them the ability to continue making bad choices. Instead, stop enabling: Let them fail. It isn't easy. It's a big change and a new behavior, but it is necessary. You have to let them fail if you want them to learn. Otherwise, you will have to keep picking up the pieces forever. You can watch this video to learn how to stop enabling. #enabling #consequencesofsin #consequencesofactions #christianboundaries #failure   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/g8p3P1tOohM

This is a much needed follow up to my video on father wounds offering you the steps you need to take to heal them. The original video gave you the effects of father wounds in a girl's life but this one explains how both men and women can heal their father wounds. #fatherwounds #healingtrauma     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ZgiMlLsAn8o  

As a Christian in a dysfunctional relationship, you are dealing with problems that need God's help. You have faith that things will get better but oftentimes that faith is nothing more than magical thinking that leads you to make poor decisions. Watch this video to find out the difference of faith vs. magical thinking. #FaithBasedThinking #MagicalThinking #BetterDecisionMaking #Faith      Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/e6DoO2AI4nk  

Barbara Grant joins Karla to share her personal experience in a neurodiverse marriage. They discuss typical struggles couples have that lead to disconnection and stress. Barbara shares practical skills she teaches couples and individuals that help improve their interactions.     Barbara Grant is a dedicated neurodiverse couples coach with personal and professional expertise in navigating the unique dynamics of neurodiverse relationships. She holds a Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and is a Certified Autism Specialist and Neurodiverse Couples Coach. Barbara's coaching is grounded in her innovative Roadmap to Hope & Healing© -- a research-based, results-driven approach inspired by her own experiences within neurodiverse marriage and family life. Passionate about helping individuals and couples heal, grow, and determine the sustainability of their relationships, Barbara brings empathy and insight to her work. She has been featured on popular podcasts such as Neurodiverse Love, Your Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi Carlton, and The Neurodiverse Christian Couples Podcast. Additionally, she is the editor and a contributing author of "Uniquely Us: Gracefully Navigating the Maze of Neurodiverse Marriage, Autism, and Faith." Barbara currently cohosts The Neurodiverse Couples “Coaches' Corner” Podcast.   Barbara Grant's Website and contact: https://bg-hc.com/   Purchase Uniquely Us: Gracefully Navigating the Maze of Neurodiverse Marriage, Autism, and Faith by Rev. Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes, Rev. Dan Holmes, et al. on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3IAWzPF Is there Cross-Over of Porn Use/Sex Addiction in Autistic Men with Dr. Janice Caudill https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/is-there-cross-over-of-porn-use-sex-addiction-in/id1579715646?i=1000720576734 Porn & Sex Addiction, Sexuality & Autism with Candice Christiansen https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/porn-sex-addiction-sexuality-autism-with-candice/id1579715646?i=1000721491068 What Even is Healthy Christian Masculinity & Sexuality? with Dr. Andrew Bauman https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-even-is-healthy-christian-masculinity-sexuality/id1579715646?i=1000722489643 Want TOTAL Intimacy in Your NeuroDiverse Christian Marriage? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/want-total-intimacy-in-your-neurodiverse-christian/id1579715646?i=1000723423035   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Ub_Ij6_4poo

In Step One of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholics admit that they are powerless over alcohol.  Some people misunderstand this to mean that they have no accountability for their drinking or anything else destructive and don't have to take any responsibility.  This isn't what is meant by powerlessness. Watch this video to learn about what powerlessness is and is not. It could help you with your own recovery or help you to have reasonable expectations for the alcoholic or addict in your life.  #ChristianRecovery #TwelveSteps  #StepOne #AlcoholicsAnonymous  #Powerlessness   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/tCwnuAgEwcg