In the Moment with Mamoon

If your wife's been acting a little strange and moody today, it's because… You forgot! Today is “Yawm al Hubb”, as my wife likes to call it, ie Valentine's Day.  Now there are a lot of people in the world who will try to convince you that Valentine's Day is a bidah, an innovation in the religion of Islam and that in Islam, there are two days of celebration, the two Eids.

I have full confidence that Indiana Jones himself, the character played by the legendary Harrison Ford, would definitely search for, find and flip “The Spiritual Switch”. Here's why… Did you ever see the absolutely brilliant movie, “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”? It's the one where Indiana's father, played by the late great Sir Sean Connery, joined Indi on an adventure to find the Holy Grail.

A question came in the other day, from a client who scheduled in a “Personal Breakthrough Session” with me and they were a little bit perturbed. They were going through my online programs like “The Psychological Switch” and “Meet and Marry the One”, but there was something about what they were learning that really turned them off.

A few years ago, I was generously gifted a free ticket to a Tony Robbins “Unleash the Power Within” event. And it was a delightful experience. I went to the event a couple of years after discovering “The Spiritual Switch” (aka. The Psychological Switch) so during the event, I had a deep understanding of where my feelings truly come from – and of the fact that I don't actually need any “ninja” NLP mindset techniques to feel better.

One morning, a couple of years ago, I was getting my twin boys ready to go to nursery and the older twin who is a whopping three minutes older than his brother was a little bit on the grumpy side. He hadn't slept through the night and woke me up a couple of times. So he wasn't in a particularly great mood and to be honest… neither was I.

I once had a female client who was quite frustrated, because after going through the “Meet Him and Marry Him” program, she would end up meeting great guys… but sometimes the guys just didn't know how to interact in any kind of attractive way.  There was one guy she was telling me about who - the first time they met in person - was dressed in a hoodie and really ugly, torn, dirty shoes...

The other day, Rachida and I were having a chat about our goals for 2025. We were talking about our intentions, the kind of energy and experiences we want to share together. By the grace of God, we're in a wonderful phase of life where we're living in Marrakesh… and it turns out this is our dream. It feels like we're on vacation the whole time, even though we're both still working and fully engaging with all the good things in life.

Want to know one of the main reasons why I love doing Jiu Jitsu and how I have the discipline to train daily? It's not because of the mind-body connection. It's not because it's the “gentle art”. It's not because I have some kind of super-human discipline.

Exactly one week ago was “Blue Monday”.  This is statistically supposed to be the most depressing day of the year, for a number of reasons...  

We've all heard about the importance of willpower and discipline when it comes to achieving our goals.  But what very few people talk about is the importance of “Allah will” power.  One of the biggest mistakes people make is they set big, audacious, hairy, scary goals, and then they try to force themselves to be really disciplined and achieve the goal all by themselves. Then, they get stressed, frustrated or give up on it altogether.

Back when I was a single, lonely, divorced bloke I went through a phase of not seeing anyone or considering anyone, which lasted about 9 months.  Then I had a life-altering insight that I wrote about in the book, “Inside the Soul of Islam”.  And after that, I was basically a magnet.

Back in 2010, I had just started my coaching business and was taking every coach training course I could get my hands on.  One of them was to become a certified relationship coach. Which, I'll admit, was a little ironic given how my marriage was constantly filled with conflicts that I didn't know how to resolve. But I figured this course might help me - I wasn't planning on helping others in an area I was struggling....  

During the last year of my first marriage, right before it crashed and burned in divorce, I was online searching for answers to the marriage problems I was having.  I started with trying to learn the Islamic laws of marriage. It turns out that improves your relationship about as much as the Islamic laws of sacrificing an animal improves your cooking.  

True story:  Once upon a time a couple goes to a very wise marriage therapist and starts spilling the beans on how terrible their marriage is. It starts with the husband. The more he talks about his wife and everything she's doing wrong, the more upset and heated he becomes. Pretty soon, he starts ranting...

“Always be skeptical of anyone who claims to be an ‘expert' on relationships. Chances are, someone in their family strongly disagrees.” – Anon Even the best advice from the best so-called ‘experts' on relationships will likely backfire when you try and apply it.

A few days into Ramadan in 2017, I sat in the Sheikh's living room after bringing him home from the airport. He had just returned from Umrah, which he had to cut short due to a death in the family.  In the taxi home, he had just read the first few pages of my soon-to-be-released book, “Inside the Soul of Islam” which was the purpose of our meeting...

The quality of your marriage, and your life, is directly proportional to the depth of your spiritual presence. There's no mystery behind the fact that the Prophet (peace & blessings upon him) was the most spiritually elevated human being and was, as a result, the “best to his family”. The secret hiding in plain sight, is the deep level of...

Let's be honest: Santa Claus has a pretty tough gig. He's running a global operation, managing elves, navigating tight deadlines, and let's not forget the intense pressure of being judged by millions of kids every single year. Naughty or nice? That's a lot of responsibility for one man. So how does his marriage survive all this stress?

When it comes to relationships, if there's one thing I hate to see people suffer with… it's LIMBO. Where things don't seem too bad to change, but you're nowhere near the dream of where you want to be.  So instead of staying stuck in Limbo, because it's the day before X-Mas, that special time of year where Muslims all around the world… watch movies! Let's do a quick Thought Experiment...  

Let's be honest: every marriage faces challenges. But sometimes, we can get so caught up in the day-to-day drama of misunderstandings, arguments, or unmet expectations, that we end up missing the bigger picture. The question is: Is your marriage passing the “bare minimum” test?

The last couple of weeks I've been going around Marrakech with a pair of orange tinted glasses that Rachida gave me. And as I walked around seeing palm trees and beautiful scenery with these tinted glasses, it reminded me of the great Tony Stark.  It got me thinking that in some ways, I used to be a bit like Iron Man....

There's a major downside to all the spiritual insights & relationship strategies I teach: they KILL drama. And let's face it: sometimes people get a real kick out of drama. The highs when you win a point and the lows when you're mad or upset - it can all get kind of… addictive. Sometimes the whole marriage feels like it started as a Rom-Com but they changed screenwriters half way through and it ended up as a soap opera that just... Never. Stops. Here's a quick checklist of exactly what to do if you looooovve all that drama and you want to keep the soap opera going forever…

Sarah was on her way to one of my live events, mentally rehearsing how she'd tell her husband she wanted a divorce.   Years of resentment had piled up. Every argument left her feeling more defeated. Even small conflicts spiralled into days of tension and silence.   She'd tried everything - therapy, advice from family elders, and even seeking help from an imam. But nothing brought her peace.   As she drove, she thought, “This is my last shot. If this doesn't work, I'm done.”   But during the event, something pretty cool happened...

One of the most common mistakes I see in marriages is trying to fix your partner's (seemingly countless) flaws. And one of the most common objections to me pointing this out is that the person I'm coaching will say: “Oh no, but you don't understand, they even [insert typical human flaws]”.    It often sounds something like this:   “If only they'd be more affectionate, then I'd be happy.”   “Why can't they just be more supportive?”   “If they would change, everything would be better.”   Now you might be thinking... What's wrong with that? They should be more affectionate, supportive and change their bad behaviour, right?    Maybe. The problem is that this mindset creates resistance, not connection.    No one likes to feel judged or “not good enough,” especially in a marriage. As the old saying goes: “Everyone loves chocolate; but no-one loves having it shoved down their throat.”    Here's a Reality Check:   You can't control your spouse's behavior.   You can't force them to change.   But you can transform your own mindset — and when you do, it often has a positive ripple effect on your relationship.   The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) showed us this wisdom time and again. He didn't lead by just telling people to do what he wanted. He always lead by example, not by trying to change others. His kindness, resilience, and spiritual presence inspired transformation in his family and companions.   So instead of trying to fix your partner, ask yourself:   How can I bring more presence, love and deep listening to this relationship?   What expectations can I let go of that would be a relief for my partner? (And am I conscious enough to let go of the illusion that I need them to do XYZ for me to be happy?)   Do I feel better when I focus on what's wrong with them, or when I focus on what's right with them and all the blessings Allah gives me through them?   When you shift your focus inward, something amazing happens: Your partner feels it.    They sense your love, your ease, and your presence — and often, they naturally start to lighten up and respond in kind.   If you're tired of trying to “fix” your marriage and are ready to transform it from the inside out, I'd love to show you how.   My brand new "Marriage Made Easy" program is designed to make 2025 the year that turns your marriage around and sets you up for love that literally lasts forever.   It's available now for email subscribers only at a 50% discount with a suite of bonus gifts - go here to join my list and get all the good stuff:    www.mamoonyusaf.com/marriage

What I'm about to share with you is not the be-all and end-all of marriage challenges and conflicts… but it does work fast and remarkably well.  If you want to have a long-term, successful marriage where you and your partner both get what you want, then use this “quick-fix” as you learn some of the more important, long-term insights and skills I share with you in my in-depth coaching programs. (And if you're already a relationship coach, you'll definitely want to add this one to your toolbox and share it with clients.)   Imagine your partner is mad at you about something. (I know, very difficult to imagine, right?) Or, imagine that you're in a conflict because you're not seeing eye-to-eye about a situation. He thinks you're wrong and you think he's wrong… and you're going to get to the bottom of it tonight, by the end of this argument. (Or so your ego would like you to think). As you're ‘talking' (or ranting like raving lunatics at each other), take a moment to notice something so obvious about the situation that it may have, in the moment, escaped your attention. What does the body language of the couple look like? Are they sitting or is one of them standing? Are they breathing deeply from their bellies in a calm, relaxed way, or do they have short, panting breaths designed to get enough oxygen in to shout their next point out loud? What's the tone of voice like?  Here's they key:  Are they touching?  Or are they standing on opposite sides of the room, with a hostile space in between them, as if to say ‘if I was near you, either you or I would not be safe'. Whenever there's a conflict, there's always a lot going on beneath the surface. The partner feels misunderstood, not heard, not seen, not loved. If the partner can have re-assurance that underneath it all, they are loved, it changes the whole dynamic.  Trying to ‘say' that in the middle of an argument won't work, because it'll likely get lost in the midst of all the other communication that's happening.  So what's the ‘trick' to de-escalate the conflict, reassure your partner that they are loved and move things in a positive direction, no matter what issue you're fighting over?  Simple:  Touch. Go over to your partner and maintain physical contact with them in a way that feels natural and makes sense in context. It's a way of firmly saying, in no uncertain terms: “I love you more than I'm mad at you”. You might notice that when you do this, your tone softens and you both ‘loosen up' and re-connect, putting the relationship first, instead of the ‘issue' that you were arguing about and letting come between you. This doesn't 'resolve' the conflict, but it does start to save the real victim of the conflict: the love and connection you feel between each other. This is another gem I learnt from one of the best relationship coaches on the planet, my friend and colleague Annie Lalla and she explains it in-depth on page 21 of her new mini e-book guide called:  “Mastering Love, Passion & Conflict.” You can download it here:  www.mamoonyusaf.com/heart-guide/

I recently came across an interesting definition of the word ‘love', in the context of a loving relationship: “The capacity to feel the full spectrum of human emotion in service of being present in this current moment (the only place you can actually be with another).”  I don't know how technically accurate of a definition that is, but it's an excellent description of what it means to be loving to another human being - especially during a conflict.  This morning my wife was inexplicably mad at me. I say ‘inexplicably', but she could certainly explain it. Turns out the night before I was tired, grumpy and acting like a grouch. I had an attitude and just about managed to get myself to bed as early as possible.  This morning I woke up early, as chipper as one of the birds outside that wakes us up for the pre-dawn prayer. I got the boys to school and came home, curious about what was on Rachida's mind. I had completely forgotten how grumpy I was acting the night before… but Rachida certainly hadn't!  This brings up the quintessential challenge of relationships in general, and marriage in particular. How can you bring presence, a quiet mind and a loving heart to an interaction, especially when there are intense negative emotions like hurt, anger and a sense of righteous indignation?  This is as important when it comes to living with your partner, as when it comes to living in a country and a world split by political divisions. How can you be with the ‘other' in a way that shines the light of the divine onto the situation? Here's what works best for me:  The moment feelings of hurt, upset, sadness or anger come up in me, I move away from the temptation to ‘blame' them on the other person, their stance, or their opinion Instead, notice the feelings and thoughts arise within yourself and observe them The moment you do this, you might notice that the edge is taken out of them; they're not as hard to handle any more. They may even dissipate or completely disappear as you pay attention to them.  The more conscious awareness you can bring to your feelings and thoughts, the better you can re-focus on what is actually being said and the more deeply you can listen More often than not, you'll soon find that they are also dealing with some hurt, upset and frustration, which they might be perceiving is a result of your behaviour. Instead of getting caught up in that assumption, increase the intensity of your own presence Notice how, just as your harmful thoughts and feelings dissipated through the light of your conscious awareness, your partner's hurt feelings dissipate as you give them space to express themselves, while deeply listening. Your presence is now shining its light so brightly that your partner is now feeling fully seen and heard, because they truly are. This ‘marriage' stuff is a work in progress and I don't have any expectations of ever doing it ‘perfectly', if there is such a thing. I am, however, very aware that the more presence I can bring to the ‘conflict', the more I'm pouring water over the fire instead of oil.  To me, that's what love is. 

There is a perfectly rational reason to acknolwedge the existence of God. Unfortunately it is largely unknown in the West and was certainly never taught to me (or your kids) in school.  It's the argument of the categories of existence and it's explianed comprehensively in this video.

I recently received this ‘classic' philosophical question from the son of a close friend and figured I'd answer it in a video for everyone.  There's a remarkably simple, comprehensive, logical answer, which (weirdly enough) I was never taught in school.

Is it possible to use the 'gift of gab' to get yourself into eternal Paradise? It sure is. But I don't recommend you wait until you're face-to-face with the Almighty. Over the weekend I hosted a gathering of zikr in my home, and I shared 5 specific ways you can, quite literally 'talk' your way into Heaven, starting today, including... Why the power of your word has so much spiritual importance and how you can use it to elevate your consciousness 5 specific ways you can use the power of your words to benefit yourself and bless everyone you interact with How some people unconsciously damn themselves to hell with their speech without even realising it How to become the person everyone hopes to find when they're at their lowest (and exactly what to do to support them) How you can, quite literally, 'talk' your way into Heaven And much, much more...

A couple of weeks ago, at the monthly Zikr Gathering in our home, I shared some reflections on the verse: ”So indeed, with difficulty, there is ease. Indeed, with difficulty there is ease.” [Quran 94: 5-6] Allah always speaks truth, even though it takes some reflection to see the truth of this verse. I give 5 insights into how any of us can instantly find ease and relief, even in the midst of real difficulty and challenges. These all apply, no matter how drastic the situation: from loss of loved ones, to disease, death, famine, war and worse.

In this episode, I summarize all 13 ways I've been sharing that make it totally inevitable that you pray on time, every time, 5 times a day.  They're simple, counter-intuitive but have been proven effective by hundreds of my students and coaching clients over the years.  Listen to all of them in this episode (and afterwards, check out the deeper explainer episodes if you want more on any one of the 13 techniques)…

Most people are so desperately trying to ‘improve' themselves that they miss out on a critically important Quran verse that gives the actual secret to abundance and success in any endeavour.  When you implement this Quran verse in the context of your goal to pray consistently, you instantly end self-sabotage and guilt and instantly gain divine favour, blessings and success in your mission.

Many years ago a scholar recommended a very simple spiritual practice and guaranteed everyone in the audience, that if you do this only one time, for one day, you'll never want to miss out on the sweetness of faith and prayer ever again.  Turns out, he was totally right. If you've never done this, it will be a game-changer for your spiritual life.

There is only ONE daily spiritual practice that Allah & His Messenger (peace & blessings upon him) consider so important that it was made ‘essential' (fard) to the daily life of a Muslim. The question is: are you approaching it with a mindset of mastery… the way a Samurai, Jedi, or Yogi approach their spiritual practices…?

There's a ‘secret' to gaining total momentum, motivation and inspiration from the Quran on any of your personal goals… and it's especially effective when it comes to the goal of praying on time, every time, 5 times a day. 

We've all been there. You're out and about. Asr time is getting late. The sun is nearly down… but there isn't a mosque nearby and you're never going to get home in time. What do you do?  I used to get embarrased and rush through a prayer hiding, until I realised THIS. Ever since, people not only watch me pray in public, but generally respect it, ask me questions about it and sometimes they even want to join in! 

Don't pray out of guilt. It's the worst reason to pray. Guilt feels bad, it brings you down, and wanting to avoid it is kind of a silly, selfish reason to go to the prayer mat. Your ego can run circles around you if guilt is the only reason you're trying to pray.  For too long, a lot of us have settled for guilt as a common reason to pray, because we've been aiming to just ‘get it done' instead of aiming to elevate our souls, and be transformed every time we step up to pray.  There are a lot of beautiful, uplifting reasons to pray. Guilt ain't one of em. Watch today's video for more. 

One of the biggest blocks to praying regularly is seeing it as a chore or something to ‘get over and done with', before you can continue with your busy life.  This is totally eliminated from our minds when we install the 3 mindset upgrades that the prayer is designed to lead us into.  Today's video explains the 3 prayer mindsets that might be the only thing you need to never miss a prayer again.

When you have a professional appointment, a meeting with your boss, or an airplane to catch, you never miss it. The time appears in your calendar, and you show up. It's a simple function of the way you work. What if we were to take our appointments with Allah as serious professional spiritual warriors…?  Today's video explains the simple mind-set shift that might be the only thing you need to never miss a prayer again.

If you want to install any habit, ritual or routine, there is a Prophetic methodology that has withstood the test of time. It's been used, literally for Millenia by successful spiritual seekers and taught by many of the greatest prophets.  You can use it to upgrade your prayers, starting tomorrow.

If you want to pray on time, every time, then this tip might be the very thing that's been unconsciously holding you back from enjoying and truly benefitting from your daily prayers. Personally I did this years ago, because I couldn't fathom the point of praying… without doing this first. However, for a lot of people this little trick that will take a few minutes a day, will make all the difference in the quality of your prayers - and increase your desire to do them regularly and consistently.  As an added benefit, just by doing this one time in your life, you increase the chance that in any one of your 5 daily prayers… you might just have a totally mind-blowing, life-changing insight.

If you want to pray on time, every time, then this tip might be the very thing that's been unconsciously holding you back from enjoying and truly benefitting from your daily prayers. Personally I did this years ago, because I couldn't fathom the point of praying… without doing this first. However, for a lot of people this little trick that will take a few minutes a day, will make all the difference in the quality of your prayers - and increase your desire to do them regularly and consistently.  As an added benefit, just by doing this one time in your life, you increase the chance that in any one of your 5 daily prayers… you might just have a totally mind-blowing, life-changing insight. 

Pray on time every time. Today I share the 2nd of several proven, effective methods to get yourself to pray on time, every time. This method removes the need for willpower, discipline or overcoming procrastination. Do this simple ‘trick' instead, and watch what happens. Read the book: www.InsideTheSoulOfIslam.com Watch the masterclass - If you want to deepen your connection with Allah, become your best self and improve all your relationships, watch The Switch Masterclass here: www.MamoonYusaf.com/switch Visit the episode page: www.MamoonYusaf.com/DSD16

Pray on time. Every time. Today I share the first of a series of very simple, proven methods for getting yourself to pray on time, every single time. But be warned… this one is so simple that you might underestimate how effective it is. Read the book: www.InsideTheSoulOfIslam.com Watch the masterclass - If you want to deepen your connection with Allah, become your best self and improve all your relationships, watch The Switch Masterclass here: www.MamoonYusaf.com/switch Visit the episode page: www.MamoonYusaf.com/DSD15

Prayer is the best possible self-care. If you're conscious of your prayers and commit to making them your space of personal spiritual connection and transformation, they renew, re-energise and uplift you like nothing else. In today's session we'll explore the three reasons why the formal Muslim prayer is designed to be transformative - you'll feel the benefits in your very next prayer, God-willing: Read the book: www.InsideTheSoulOfIslam.com Watch the masterclass - If you want to deepen your connection with Allah, become your best self and improve all your relationships, watch The Switch Masterclass here: www.MamoonYusaf.com/Switch Visit the episode page: www.MamoonYusaf.com/DSD14

Palestine can and will be free. It doesn't require violence. It doesn't require political activism (but it will catalyze and dramatically increase the results of any political activism you may be involved in). It is something that you can (and must) personally do. There is a methodology that the Quran guarantees us will work… …But you're probably not gonna like it. Read the book: www.InsideTheSoulOfIslam.com Watch the masterclass - If you want to deepen your connection with Allah, become your best self and improve all your relationships, watch The Switch Masterclass here: www.MamoonYusaf.com/switch Visit the episode page: www.MamoonYusaf.com/DSD13

According to Tony Robbins, the quality of your life comes down to the quality of your relationships. But the quality of those relationships comes down to your relationship with yourself… and your depth of connection with Allah.  In today's Daily Spiritual Download we explore the ‘spiritual secret' that leads to awesome relationships. Read the book: www.InsideTheSoulOfIslam.com Watch the masterclass - If you want to deepen your connection with Allah, become your best self and improve all your relationships, watch The Switch Masterclass here: www.MamoonYusaf.com/switch Visit the episode page: www.MamoonYusaf.com/DSD12

In today's “Daily Spiritual Download”, I share the ‘secret' to become your best self and eliminating the insecurity and self-defeating thinking that blocks you from always being your best, highest self. Read the book: www.InsideTheSoulOfIslam.com Watch the masterclass - If you want to deepen your connection with Allah, become your best self and improve all your relationships, watch The Switch Masterclass here: www.MamoonYusaf.com/switch Visit the episode page: www.MamoonYusaf.com/DSD11

In today's “Daily Spiritual Download” we start to get into the ‘meat' of the matter. How do you deepen your connection with Allah? You'll discover the concept of “Psychological Idolatry” and learn how to ‘smash through' the idols in your mind, that have been blocking you from connecting… along with a simple, effective way to measure how spiritual connected you are in any given moment.

In this “Daily Spiritual Download” you'll discover the #1 thing that the quality of your life is determined by… and the 3 specific ways in which your life will improve when you discover ‘The Psychological Switch'. Instead of trying to ‘force' yourself to improve your life, by watching today's episode you'll find that your life starts to improve all by itself… with the help of a short daily reminder from your favourite Muslim coach ;-)

Today's ‘Daily Spiritual Download' explores an interesting angle on why liberals, who would normally be ‘anti-war', keep siding with war-criminals. There's a subtle, sly ‘trick' that feeds into the narrative we keep hearing, that's to do with intention vs. action. Islamic spiritual teachings give us a more clear, morally coherent perspective. Read the book: www.InsideTheSoulOfIslam.com Watch the masterclass - If you want to deepen your connection with Allah, become your best self and improve all your relationships, watch The Switch Masterclass here: www.MamoonYusaf.com/switch