In the Moment with Mamoon

Ramadan Mubarak!  I've been playing around with something in my spare time and I want to share a little piece of it with you.  You might have experienced that the beauty and majesty of the Quran is sorely lost in translation.  There are better English translations today than when I was growing up, so the message may be more clear now, but it still requires a lot of 'hard work' to get through an English translation. For the most part, I find myself needing to read at least 3 translations before I can really appreciate the message and find a blend of meanings that fits my understanding.

I have the feeling that my Ramadan this year is going to be AWESOME, insha'Allah.  And after you implement this quick guide, God-willing, yours will be too. I'm super excited about this Ramadan in particular, for 2 reasons:  The timings of sunrise and sunset make each day relatively easy to get plenty of adequate sleep I have a Quran plan I'm super-excited about implementing.   

It seems like everyone in the world is waking up to the fact that evil exists… and it's a lot worse than they thought it was.  Suddenly all of those horrifying verses in the Quran about what ultimately happens to really evil people doesn't seem so extreme, eh? Recently, as I was doing my Quran recitation, I came across a phrase that made me realize that there are a LOT more Epstein files than the 3 million that have been released and the REAL Epstein files are a lot clearer and more telling than the random emails that have gone back and forth between him and other well known people.  

Ramadan is a gift from Allah, the Most Loving Guide.  (And it's only a WEEK away!) That means we're about to experience a month of spiritual training designed for us to increase our level of consciousness. However, as the Prophet, peace and blessings upon him, said: "One may fast and get nothing from their fast but hunger. One may stand in prayer at night and get nothing from their prayer but a sleepless night." [Collection: Ibn Majah] How can we ensure our level of consciousness rises with each passing day during the blessed month?

A couple of years ago, I taught a live event called, "Meet and Marry the One", and as a framework for the event, I realized that there are a handful of powerfully transformative qualities that - if we embody them - we actually BECOME 'the One' that everyone is looking for. And it turns out the "becoming" the One, is actually the secret to attracting the one.

The best month of the year is coming up. Originally, I was thinking I would keep the doors of the Meet Him & Marry Him program open until February 14th, because, ya know, I'm a hapless romantic at heart. But the voices of my better angels took over and told me this is a completely made-up Hallmark occasion, and Ramadan is coming up pretty soon afterwards, and there are far more pressing things to talk about.   

After coaching hundreds of people on this, I think it's fair to say that the one of the hardest things people find about trying to use online marriage websites and apps like MuzzMatch is the time wasters. Sure, the creeps are bad too - but you can just delete and report them.  But the Time Wasters are like wolves in sheep's clothing.  They appear to be decent guys. And you think you're doing the right thing by going along with them, waiting for them to make the next move, BUT…  …There is no next move.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away… Back when I was at university, there was a guy who was part of some kind of weird political Muzlamik organization. (Muzlamik is a made up word - it means kinda' sorta' tryin' to be Muslim or Islamic but not really).  And, one day the Muzlamik political guy got really clever. When the UK and the US had just gone to war with Iraq, all the students on campus (including the vast majority of the Muslim students), joined the "Stop The War" campaign and organized the 2 Million man anti-war march in London. But for some reason, this particular character didn't like the way we were all going about it - campaigning side-by-side with all those lefties. Something had to be done about it.  

A lot of my messages lately have been about supporting people to overcome their inner blocks and creating effective strategies so that they can find a wonderful partner for marriage.  But just in case that's not your goal… here are my top tips on how to stay single forever...

Believe it or not, there are some single people out there who have been too busy having zero success in their marriage search to take an hour out of their jam-packed schedule of terribly disappointing 'dates', to check out this training:  www.mamoonyusaf.com/MHMH   

A couple of months ago, I received this email from a sister.  My response will follow. QUESTION:  As Salaam Alykum Mamoon I want to share something with you. I totally understand that as Muslims we sometimes use the word "date" to mean to court and it doesn't mean date in the American context of going out endlessly and become bf/gf. However, there is a huge problem with that.

When you're single, it can seem like a long, never-ending journey - from meeting someone who's not a complete weirdo… all the way through to figuring out whether or not they could be a good life partner, and then deciding whether or not you really want them to be the one you spend the rest of your life with. And unfortunately, generally speaking, advice for Muslims on this is virtually non-existent.  For some mystical reason, Muslims are single, then suddenly get married… but nothing ever happened in between.  

Over the last decade, I've done 1000s of coaching sessions, and a lot of them have been with single Muslims. And during those sessions, I've received 1000's of questions.  Everything from: "How should I respond to this text?" to… "How come this guy isn't getting back to me?" to… "Should I go out with this guy again, or am I just wasting my time?" to… "We're both madly in love, but our parents aren't on board."  

Over the last few years, I've coached and advised many women in their 30s and 40s who are so exasperated on the journey to finding love, that they find themselves in a position where, realistically, if they ever want to have kids, they're going to have to freeze their eggs. This happens for a multitude of reasons, and through absolutely no fault of their own - obviously. And bizarrely enough - this has nothing to do with how attractive they are or whether they're 'marriage material'. I know of several objectively attractive women who are totally ready for love, who are in this situation.

Here's a question I recently got from a client. I've made all the details as vague as possible for privacy purposes. QUESTION:  My sibling and their spouse have been accused of abusive behaviour, and they have several kids who are now facing foster care. My family can't take all of them on, realistically, only a certain number of them. The others have been assigned Muslim foster parents. I feel very guilty about the kids we can't take on ourselves. What should I do?

Quote: "Not even God could sink this ship,"  [Commonly attributed to Captain Edward John Smith of the Titanic]. In the outstanding movie "The Dark Knight", the Joker, played by Heath Ledger, was holding Batman's girlfriend outside the window of a skyscraper. Batman instinctively said, "Let her go." And the Joker responded with the perfect phrase that someone probably should have pointed out to the captain of the Titanic when he claimed that 'even God could not sink this ship'.  The Joker's wisdom?  "Very poor choice of words!"

So said a client of mine from the UK who recently visited us in Morocco, referring to some 'Muzlamik' folks who are taking a kind of moral superiority in their decision to leave the UK.  Now, look… I get the attraction. Sun. Beaches. All kinds of entertainment. All forms of attractions. It's a land perfectly designed to entertain Brits. Oh… and it's all halal.

Basically, yes. Now, obviously this question and answer might require some context.  Over the last decade or more, I've coached a lot of single women who are in their late 20s, 30s and 40s who are living in their parents' home. And much of the time, they're unclear about whether they are technically allowed, in Islam, to leave their parents' home without being married.  

Here's a question from a coaching session… (as usual, it's been edited, summarised and certain details have been changed, to protect identities)... QUESTION:  "After getting coaching from you, I built up the courage to start calling my mum, who lives in another country. And for a while it was going good, but now, every time I call, my mum gives me guilt trips and she just gives me bad energy.  She starts comparing me to other siblings. As you know, I was wronged by my siblings, but my mum claims the opposite. And the worst thing is she then gives me guilt trips for not being around. What's going on? How come it was in flow before, when I started calling her, but now it feels a lot more heavy and negative?"

The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings upon him, said: "Observe moderation in taking action, and if you fail to observe it perfectly, try to do as much as you can. And be happy, for none would be able to get into Paradise because of his actions alone." The companions of the Holy Prophet said, "Allah's Messenger, not even you?" He replied, "Not even I, but for Allah enveloping me in His love.  And bear this in mind: the deed most loved by Allah is one which is done constantly, even though it is small."  [Collection: Muslim.]

Let me start with a disclaimer. I have absolutely no evidence whatsoever that JiuJitsu master Ryron Gracie has any interest in the Quran. However, I do know that the brothers Rener and Ryron Gracie put an enormous amount of intelligent thought into helping people achieve something that's also incredibly difficult: mastering Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

Firstly, I know how insane that sounds. Many people reading this may well be Muslim, and let me assure you, this does not work for Sunnah fasts or Ramadan fasts. Because Islamic fasts are specifically designed to make sure that you do feel hunger and thirst. There is no way around the inherent challenge in the pre-dawn to sunset, no food, no water fast. However, a lot of people these days are into "intermittent fasting" as an incredibly intelligent way to lose a lot of unwanted body fat, quickly and effectively.  

Despite all the fake bad news about immigrants being the problem in the UK and the USA, the fact is that in reality, we boost the economy and keep it thriving.  That's why I chuckled when I was recently reminded of something I heard in an audio program I listened to about 20 years ago by Brian Tracy. He came out with a lot of zingers, but one of the gems that stayed with me was this. (For context, he was talking about the importance of being an entrepreneur and what it takes to be successful in business).

This might seem random, but it occurred to me recently that there is one piece of home workout equipment that I have used for well over a decade and I never plan on not using. It's extremely cheap (compared with a gym membership), doesn't take up space and it gives me the freedom to be able to work out at home without compromising on the effectiveness of the workout.  It even worked for me while I was at university, when I was basically living in a shoebox in London. (Come to think of it, I must have been using it for almost 2 decades). 

Question From A Client: My kid has just started university, and he's feeling very lonely and insecure. He's spending most of his time alone, getting bored and distracted, and isn't feeling great about it. What would your advice to him be?

Here is a pretty basic question: Have you ever set a long-term goal and then not achieved it? If so, you're right up there with 99.99% of the entire human population. One of the problems with long-term goals is that they're incredibly difficult to achieve, and for the most part, we end up giving up on them and then feeling like failures.

One of my all-time favourite productivity authors is Leo Babauta of Zen Habits. He has this excellent idea about setting New Year's goals, which is: don't do it. At least not until you've taken stock of everything that happened over the last year. He has a process that he calls the "Sacred Bow" (rhymes with cow) - which is to look at each month over the last year and simply note the major events that occurred. Then look at all of the lessons you learned and all of the accomplishments that you achieved over the last year.  

"Give yourself a rest from managing! When Someone Else is doing it for you, don't start doing it for yourself!  Your striving for what is absolutely guaranteed to you and your laxness in what is required of you are evidence that your inner eye is dull." Here's my take on this gem of ancient wisdom...  

I have a confession to make:  I always used to be pretty terrible at reaching goals.  Yikes! Sounds like I might be in the wrong profession as a life-coach, right? Or maybe that's exactly the reason I'm good at my job. I've had to learn to deal with my own under-achieving tendencies and failures and get over it in order to get anywhere in life.

It's 2026 and I gotta tell ya… I've got a good feeling about this year.  Over the winter break, I had a lot of much-needed down time and made some big decisions - mostly about… you! I noticed that in previous years, when it comes to my daily blog articles and podcasts, I've always been a bit on-and-off about it. When I have a big new exciting event or product to promote, I send you an email almost every day.  And when things are 'quiet' or when I'm busy delivering that program, I've tended to slow down on sending messages to the rest of my subscribers.  Not any more...  

If your wife's been acting a little strange and moody today, it's because… You forgot! Today is “Yawm al Hubb”, as my wife likes to call it, ie Valentine's Day.  Now there are a lot of people in the world who will try to convince you that Valentine's Day is a bidah, an innovation in the religion of Islam and that in Islam, there are two days of celebration, the two Eids.

I have full confidence that Indiana Jones himself, the character played by the legendary Harrison Ford, would definitely search for, find and flip “The Spiritual Switch”. Here's why… Did you ever see the absolutely brilliant movie, “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”? It's the one where Indiana's father, played by the late great Sir Sean Connery, joined Indi on an adventure to find the Holy Grail.

A question came in the other day, from a client who scheduled in a “Personal Breakthrough Session” with me and they were a little bit perturbed. They were going through my online programs like “The Psychological Switch” and “Meet and Marry the One”, but there was something about what they were learning that really turned them off.

A few years ago, I was generously gifted a free ticket to a Tony Robbins “Unleash the Power Within” event. And it was a delightful experience. I went to the event a couple of years after discovering “The Spiritual Switch” (aka. The Psychological Switch) so during the event, I had a deep understanding of where my feelings truly come from – and of the fact that I don't actually need any “ninja” NLP mindset techniques to feel better.

One morning, a couple of years ago, I was getting my twin boys ready to go to nursery and the older twin who is a whopping three minutes older than his brother was a little bit on the grumpy side. He hadn't slept through the night and woke me up a couple of times. So he wasn't in a particularly great mood and to be honest… neither was I.

I once had a female client who was quite frustrated, because after going through the “Meet Him and Marry Him” program, she would end up meeting great guys… but sometimes the guys just didn't know how to interact in any kind of attractive way.  There was one guy she was telling me about who - the first time they met in person - was dressed in a hoodie and really ugly, torn, dirty shoes...

The other day, Rachida and I were having a chat about our goals for 2025. We were talking about our intentions, the kind of energy and experiences we want to share together. By the grace of God, we're in a wonderful phase of life where we're living in Marrakesh… and it turns out this is our dream. It feels like we're on vacation the whole time, even though we're both still working and fully engaging with all the good things in life.

Want to know one of the main reasons why I love doing Jiu Jitsu and how I have the discipline to train daily? It's not because of the mind-body connection. It's not because it's the “gentle art”. It's not because I have some kind of super-human discipline.

Exactly one week ago was “Blue Monday”.  This is statistically supposed to be the most depressing day of the year, for a number of reasons...  

We've all heard about the importance of willpower and discipline when it comes to achieving our goals.  But what very few people talk about is the importance of “Allah will” power.  One of the biggest mistakes people make is they set big, audacious, hairy, scary goals, and then they try to force themselves to be really disciplined and achieve the goal all by themselves. Then, they get stressed, frustrated or give up on it altogether.

Back when I was a single, lonely, divorced bloke I went through a phase of not seeing anyone or considering anyone, which lasted about 9 months.  Then I had a life-altering insight that I wrote about in the book, “Inside the Soul of Islam”.  And after that, I was basically a magnet.

Back in 2010, I had just started my coaching business and was taking every coach training course I could get my hands on.  One of them was to become a certified relationship coach. Which, I'll admit, was a little ironic given how my marriage was constantly filled with conflicts that I didn't know how to resolve. But I figured this course might help me - I wasn't planning on helping others in an area I was struggling....  

During the last year of my first marriage, right before it crashed and burned in divorce, I was online searching for answers to the marriage problems I was having.  I started with trying to learn the Islamic laws of marriage. It turns out that improves your relationship about as much as the Islamic laws of sacrificing an animal improves your cooking.  

True story:  Once upon a time a couple goes to a very wise marriage therapist and starts spilling the beans on how terrible their marriage is. It starts with the husband. The more he talks about his wife and everything she's doing wrong, the more upset and heated he becomes. Pretty soon, he starts ranting...

“Always be skeptical of anyone who claims to be an ‘expert' on relationships. Chances are, someone in their family strongly disagrees.” – Anon Even the best advice from the best so-called ‘experts' on relationships will likely backfire when you try and apply it.

A few days into Ramadan in 2017, I sat in the Sheikh's living room after bringing him home from the airport. He had just returned from Umrah, which he had to cut short due to a death in the family.  In the taxi home, he had just read the first few pages of my soon-to-be-released book, “Inside the Soul of Islam” which was the purpose of our meeting...

The quality of your marriage, and your life, is directly proportional to the depth of your spiritual presence. There's no mystery behind the fact that the Prophet (peace & blessings upon him) was the most spiritually elevated human being and was, as a result, the “best to his family”. The secret hiding in plain sight, is the deep level of...

Let's be honest: Santa Claus has a pretty tough gig. He's running a global operation, managing elves, navigating tight deadlines, and let's not forget the intense pressure of being judged by millions of kids every single year. Naughty or nice? That's a lot of responsibility for one man. So how does his marriage survive all this stress?

When it comes to relationships, if there's one thing I hate to see people suffer with… it's LIMBO. Where things don't seem too bad to change, but you're nowhere near the dream of where you want to be.  So instead of staying stuck in Limbo, because it's the day before X-Mas, that special time of year where Muslims all around the world… watch movies! Let's do a quick Thought Experiment...  

Let's be honest: every marriage faces challenges. But sometimes, we can get so caught up in the day-to-day drama of misunderstandings, arguments, or unmet expectations, that we end up missing the bigger picture. The question is: Is your marriage passing the “bare minimum” test?

The last couple of weeks I've been going around Marrakech with a pair of orange tinted glasses that Rachida gave me. And as I walked around seeing palm trees and beautiful scenery with these tinted glasses, it reminded me of the great Tony Stark.  It got me thinking that in some ways, I used to be a bit like Iron Man....