Inner Momologue with Ash Kelsch

I was recently talking with one of my kids about quitting. They were unhappy in a certain situation and had all the reasons why. I listened as they explained and when they finished I said, I totally get it. I wanted to quit on your and sibling more times than I can count. The easy answer anytime we are challenged is to quit or walk away. That said, if can come back to me with a list of reasons that have nothing to do with everyone and everything outside of you, a list that is not blaming anyone else and one that is owning your decision, I'll reconsider. Of course, this got me thinking about dating and relationships, my divorces, our knee jerk reaction to blame the other people and not take responsibility for our feelings.  Tune in todays episode, Emotional Edging where I share a few tips and practices on how to meet your emotional edges and not react.  Follow and Subscribe to Ashley's column, The Sex is Great, for a weekly dose of dating advice, her personal and uncensored experiences along with worksheets and videos to help you navigate the high's and low's of modern dating, sex and relationships. If you are a woman who feels stuck and stagnate in her current relationship, unable to have the conversations to either repair it or end it, can't stop seeking pleasure from other men and martinis and feel hungover with guilt, unsure how to untangle yourself from it all, head on over to www.ashleykelsch.com to inquire about working 1:1 with her.

Last week it was announced that Danny Masterson from That 70's Show was found guilty of and sentenced to prison for raping several women twenty years ago. During his trial, people close to him were asked to write to the judge, on his behalf and share the kind of person he really is. Two of those people happened to be Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis. When I read that in the news, I thought, are you fucking serious? Aren't they supporters and advocates for victims of sexual abuse and an organization that works to prevent and end sex trafficking? How can you stand with victims and then write a letter talking about how great of a character a rapist has? But the more I thought about it, the more I realized, of course they did. I have 2 reasons why I think this that I'll get to in just a moment. First I have to tell you that season 3 of The Morning Show premiered last night. I've been waiting for this all too seriously for far too long. I have been fascinated watching this series address some of the most relevant topics of our time, while we are all still grappling with them as a culture. Sexual Assault and Rape. Abuse of Power. Trauma. Racism. Cancel Culture. A Pandemic. Politics. Polarization. And so on. The hook for me is watching and observing from my couch, how the individual characters process what is happening within their interpersonal relationships. Or not process. Like Alex Levy finding out her work husband, best friend and a man she had sexual relations with was a sexual predator. On way hand she was shocked and wanted nothing to do with him and on the other, she missed her best friend. And then there was this mysterious third hand; she had turned a blind eye to his behavior and upheld the system that supported him. Her brain cannot comprehend all of the ugly, horrific truth. Which brings me back to why I think Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis wrote those letters: For their brain to accept and believing their best friend as they know him is a rapist must be like a computer trying to download software that keeps glitching out. They are not ‘thinking straight'. We live in a culture that has historically nurtures rape and assault. It's impossible to talk about Sexual Health Awareness Month and not address the main factors that play a role in a majority of people not having great sex. In addition to a Rape Culture, we have thousands of years of conditioning around women's bodies and sexuality. It's not a coincidence, either. Instead it's about control. And despite the #metoo movement, we still have a lot of work to do. Tune in today to hear what 3 cultural messages about women's sexuality are, and why The Sex Can't Be Great, without awareness and acceptance that this is where we are as a collective. For Full Show Notes Click Here Follow and Subscribe to Ashley's column, The Sex is Great, for a weekly dose of dating advice, her personal and uncensored experiences along with worksheets and videos to help you navigate the high's and low's of modern dating, sex and relationships. If you are a woman who feels stuck and stagnate in her current relationship, unable to have the conversations to either repair it or end it, can't stop seeking pleasure from other men and martinis and feel hungover with guilt, unsure how to untangle yourself from it all, head on over to www.ashleykelsch.com to inquire about working 1:1 with her.  

It took me 20 years to realize that when I was 17, I was given the most important, healthy bit of advice about sex and orgasms that I would ever receive.  Ironically, I knew about sex, but very little about orgasms. The message was completley lost on me. This should come as no surprise because most the messaging we as a culture have cultivated around sex and pleasure for women has been there is none, shameful and disempowering.  Have you considered that it was only in the 1960's that people thought it was 'weird' to workout and run. To eat 'right'. Vs today, it's considered mainstream. Our sexual well being and pleasure is no different. It's on the fringes at the moment, but we are seeing real empirical, scientific and spiritual data that shows the impact it has on all domains of our lives. We are at the beginning of a sexual revolution. Who's coming with me?  The behavior is beginning to change, but the ancient beliefs are deeply rooted. Today I am  challenging societal norms and expectations about women's sexuality and advocating for self-empowerment and self-acceptance through a pleasure practice.  I want you start with yourself. Solo.  Join me this week as I disucss the importance of orgasm and why having a pleasure practice; a practice where you work with your erotic, sexual energy and pleasure consciously for higher development and growth of self and sexuality.  You will discover: Practical tips for starting a pleasure practice, emphasizing relaxation, breath, sound, movement, mindfulness, and energy. This practice is not just about getting off but also about regulating the nervous system, nurturing oneself, and rewiring neural pathways. You will learn the importance of self-pleasure and sexual well-being, and the physical and psychological benefits of orgasm. To embrace your own sexuality, challenge societal norms, and prioritize your sexual well-being the same way you do your workouts and diet. It's equally, if not more important.  The Pleasure is All Yours For Full Show Notes Click Here Follow and Subscribe to Ashley's column, The Sex is Great, for a weekly dose of dating advice, her personal and uncensored experiences along with worksheets and videos to help you navigate the high's and low's of modern dating, sex and relationships. If you are a woman who feels stuck and stagnate in her current relationship, unable to have the conversations to either repair it or end it, can't stop seeking pleasure from other men and martinis and feel hungover with guilt, unsure how to untangle yourself from it all, head on over to www.ashleykelsch.com to inquire about working 1:1 with her.

Did you know that there are only two industries that refer to its consumers as users? Can you guess what two those might be? The digital and the drug and alcohol industries. On this weeks episode of The Sex is Great, I'm taking a little detour to discuss alcohol consumption and addiction, particularly in women. For the first time in history, women are narrowing the gender gap in deaths from alcohol or related to alcohol. A few factors play a role in this. The ever pervasive normalizing and promoting of drinking culture. Physiological factors such as hormones and women's bodies lacking the enzymes to properly aid in processing and metabolizing alcohol. And of course, dopamine. Our chemical desire and drive in seeking rewards for survival. The negative effects of such substances and the challenge of breaking the cycle of desire are just the beginning.  Join me today and listen in as I explain the deeper pain body we are experiencing as women who are socialized to be the primary caregivers, not to complain or ask for help and to put everyone else first.  We are conditioned to compact our feelings or suppress them. Instead of going inward to solve for them, we are easily reaching out for a drink, anti depressants, or desserts.  What You Will Discover:  The problem is not you.  Dopamine's role in desire and its impact on behavior are explained, showing how alcohol and drugs can override the brain's natural dopamine regulation.  How the marketing and social normalization of alcohol consumption, particularly among women is targeted at making you believe it's the answer to a successful life and the way to de-stress.  Your stress is coming from a much deeper pain body than you are aware of.  How you can begin to overcome the urge to drink, change your reactive patterns and slowly start integrating your shadow side into your whole being. For Full Show Notes Click Here Follow and Subscribe to Ashley's column, The Sex is Great, for a weekly dose of dating advice, her personal and uncensored experiences along with worksheets and videos to help you navigate the high's and low's of modern dating, sex and relationships. If you are a woman who feels stuck and stagnate in her current relationship, unable to have the conversations to either repair it or end it, can't stop seeking pleasure from other men and martinis and feel hungover with guilt, unsure how to untangle yourself from it all, head on over to www.ashleykelsch.com to inquire about working 1:1 with her.

This week on the Sex is Great, I'm talking to dating and relationship coach, Angela Wetzel. Join us as she delves into the complexities of attachment styles, dating anxiety, and the journey towards self-soothing and empowerment. Learn how recognizing and addressing your emotional triggers, developing healthier patterns, and fostering self-compassion can lead to more fulfilling relationships and personal growth. The more time I've spent studying my own attachment style and the theory in general, the more understanding I've had not only for myself, but the other people I'm dating or in relation to.  I joke that having this information is like having a Dating for Dummies Guide book.  And that it may decrease your chances of becoming DickMAtiZeD!!!! or No, don't say it…., CunTStruCk!!! Ahhhhhhh for Fox Sake!! Make the drama end, but let the sex be great!! Distinguishing normal dating anxiety from hyper-vigilant behaviors is crucial for healthy emotional regulation.  Let today's teaser be all you need to dive a little deeper into exploring Attachment Theory. It IS like having a cheat sheet in the wild that shows you your blind spots!  Angela Wetzel who specializes in helping high achievers and purpose-driven people resolve the blocks that keep them from having the love they want with her knowledge of attachment theory, trauma, relationship strategies, masculine and feminine energy dynamics, polarity and neuroscience.  Aside from being a giant relationship nerd reading and studying all the things while studying with the industries top experts…she was a former Korean Linguist and Sergeant in the US Army, worked as a government contractor for the office of naval intelligence, has been an actor and writer pretty much all of her life. Click here to find out more about Angela's programs or to follow her instagram. For Full Show Notes Click Here Follow and Subscribe to Ashley's column, The Sex is Great, for a weekly dose of dating advice, her personal and uncensored experiences along with worksheets and videos to help you navigate the high's and low's of modern dating, sex and relationships. If you are a woman who feels stuck and stagnate in her current relationship, unable to have the conversations to either repair it or end it, can't stop seeking pleasure from other men and martinis and feel hungover with guilt, unsure how to untangle yourself from it all, head on over to www.ashleykelsch.com to inquire about working 1:1 with her.

On this weeks episode, I'm sharing with you how you can process your authentic, albeit painful emotions, without judgment. Emotions are neither right nor wrong, but simply a part of being human. To actively engage with our emotions and literally move them through our bodies, I'm introducing a practice created by Mama Gena called "swamping" – a powerful tool that allows oneself to deeply feel and physically express without judgment, and fully release your emotions. To learn more About Mama Gena Click Here For Full Show Notes Click Here Corresponding Worksheet and Guide for Supporting Subcribers Can Be Found Here Follow and Subscribe to Ashley's column, The Sex is Great If you are a woman who feels stuck and stagnate in her current relationship, unable to have the conversations to either repair it or end it, can't stop seeking pleasure from other men and martinis and feel hungover with guilt, unsure how to untangle yourself from it all, head on over to www.ashleykelsch.com to inquire about working 1:1 with her.

On this week's episode, Dating May Include Side Effects, I'm discussing how the process can feel like emotional rollercoaster and the side effects that come with it, like feeling rejected, embarrassed, or addicted to checking messages, may leave you wanting to quit altogether, or worse, make the outcomes mean something negative about you. You are going to feel stretched. However, I want to reassure you that such feelings are normal and linked to the brain's natural response to discomfort and the unknown. I was reminded of a podcast episode I recorded almost exactly two years ago, Be Your Own Best Date and how it set off my journey to ditch all the self imposed rules I had around dating and become more open to the process. What if there was a different way to go about it? A more rational approach to dating that focuses on facts and circumstances rather than getting caught up in emotional drama. I've noticed the people in my life that end up in partnership, are not only mentally resolved, but have adopted what I call an “All Math, No Drama” mindset. Additionally, don't let societal expectations and pressures related to being in a relationship or married be an indicator of your self worth or value. Focus on your own healing and self-love, rejecting the notion that you have to in "something" to be worthy of love. Dating may include side effects, but there is a way for you to treat them: A Pleasure Practice! Solo sex, self touch, self pleasuring, turn on and orgasms are the best way to rewire the brain, remove limited beliefs and blocks, and integrate new ways of experiencing not only yourself, but the world.

I was just talking on my Instagram stories the other day about an experience that I was having and I felt, you know, all these thoughts swarming. At first I thought, Ooh, I think I have a new column or podcast coming up. I can feel it gathering. And then I was like, wait a minute. This all sounds really familiar in my mind. These feelings… these thoughts. FAMILIAR!I thought damnit! I already wrote this column. LITERALLY.I am right back where I was. How does this happen? How do we continue to repeat some of the things, actions, emotions, feelings, what have you, despite having been there. With new thoughts, like… Not doing that again. Figured out a way! I have awareness now. And then, ooh, I'm back.I'm doing that thing again. What happened? This weeks #notyourdatingguru moment is one that I think we've all experienced. I think we've all had this happen. I think we've all done it to people. But how I handled it…. well, maybe not what everyone would do. I'm gonna tell you something and I don't want you to tell anyone. This is just between you and me. It's our little secret. But you will have to listen to this weeks episode to find out what happened and even better (or for worse) what I did. Below is the column I wrote last year for Tribeza. Almost a year to date

The Sex is Great by Ashley Kelsch is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.It's no secret that I've been actively dating. I'm on an app, that I've been terrible about checking since I met one person, but then again, I do treat instagram as a dating app and met someone on there, I've been meeting people out to go on dates, having the conversations when I don't see things progressing, staying open to those who I do find an attraction to while being honest about my intentions; I'm just looking to have fun. This has all been a very empowering positive experience this time around. Until recently… I had one of those experiences that I would refer to as RARE. I had one of those visceral chemical, pheromone-like- primitive body reactions to another person. The whole thing has caught me off guard. It's not the usual, this person is fun and attractive and sexy and the sex is great…It's this thing my stomach; summersaults when I think about them; when I get a text and my face grins in a way that reminds me I need botox because it's stretching far and wide; the real tell all? Nothing can solve for how turned on I feel except them. Not even my vibrator. I need this person to be in the room breathing next to me. Talking. Touching Me. I'll be the first to say, I have entered very dangerous terrain. I know that. I see exactly what is happening. I'm under the influence. I mean, I don't know this person and yet, I'm making plans in my mind to do the ‘normal stuff'. It makes me think about someone I dated and neither of us was in a place to make it serious. After me, he met someone. He and I laugh about the s**t he has done to be with her. Major life changes! I'm been like dude… come on. You can choose love, get your head straight… but today I'm like dude… I totally get it. CHEMISTRY! Babes, we can not turn our lives upside down. I had to glean some advice on how to manage my mind and emotions so I dug into the archives for ‘CRAZY STUPID LOVE'. I listened to it earlier today and found myself quite proud that I've been using technical terms like dickmatized and cunstruck since at least May of 2021 when this episode originally aired. I'm also proud to hear me dive into the hard wiring of your brain- the reason you have this drive and feel the way you do. You'll be pleased to find some prescriptive advice that you can use. I know I will be!It's spring y'all. Sex is in the air. We need to keep it together… I mean, don't get me wrong; have the sex, follow the feelings, but don't lose yourself or your mind. Tune in and turn on to Crazy Stupid Love… Today we are talking about your brain, emotions, and love. And I'm not just talking about any kind of love, I'm talking that kind of love that makes you feel crazy and out of sorts, and no longer recognize yourself. That love that makes you crazy just thinking about them, that every love song ever written was about you, where you can't begin to imagine how you could possibly ever live without them.There's a collective belief that love is out of our control, that we can't choose who we find ourselves attracted to and it's happening to us. But it is possible to have a deeply passionate love without feeling powerless and crazy. You can learn to acknowledge what is happening and dial it down.Join me this week as I'm exploring why we need to question our emotions and showing you how to become empowered by learning what's going on in your brain. By knowing what's going on chemically, you can manage the process even if just a little bit, and learn to lose yourself in the moments – not the human.What You Will Discover:* Why we get obsessive and euphoric over love.* How to stop feeling consumed when dating.* Why your emotions are not hardwired.* How to be mindful of what's going on in your brain when you feel crazy.* Why pain doesn't have to be devastating.Resources Mentioned:Woman: An Intimate Geography by Natalie AngierThe Sex is Great by Ashley Kelsch is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe

I was recently out by myself having dinner and happened to be next to a man and woman on a date. It became glaringly clear that she didn't want to be there, but didn't have the nerve to leave until they had finished eating. We've all been there. Maybe we forget that we have agency and can leave if we feel like it. Or maybe the idea of leaving sounds rude or impossible. So we ‘stick it out'…On todays episode I am offering you some advice on how to change your experience from miserable to pleasurable. Yes, it's possible. You just have to do one thing…I'm also giving you 2 ideas to spark some fun conversation and get to know the other person across from you. I think they are brilliant and one of them has already been proven to work on a date!But first, a ‘not your dating guru' moment from yours truly. Enjoy!xx,ashThe Sex is Great by Ashley Kelsch is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe

I was recently out by myself having dinner and happened to be next to a man and woman on a date. It became glaringly clear that she didn't want to be there, but didn't have the nerve to leave until they had finished eating. We've all been there. Maybe we forget that we have agency and can leave if we feel like it. Or maybe the idea of leaving sounds rude or impossible. So we ‘stick it out'… On todays episode I am offering you some advice on how to change your experience from miserable to pleasurable. Yes, it's possible. You just have to do one thing… I'm also giving you 2 ideas to spark some fun conversation and get to know the other person across from you. I think they are brilliant and one of them has already been proven to work on a date! But first, a ‘not your dating guru' moment from yours truly. Follow and Subscribe to Ashley's column, The Sex is Great, for a weekly dose of dating advice, her personal and uncensored experiences along with worksheets and videos to help you navigate the high's and low's of modern dating, sex and relationships. If you are a woman who feels stuck and stagnate in her current relationship, unable to have the conversations to either repair it or end it, can't stop seeking pleasure from other men and martinis and feel hungover with guilt, unsure how to untangle yourself from it all, head on over to www.ashleykelsch.com to inquire about working 1:1 with her.

Last week Austin was presented with a winter storm that took the power out leaving hundreds of thousands people displaced, in the dark and cold. The events, though not as extreme as the storm we experienced in 2021, has been another series of stress, triggering events. that It reminded me of two episodes I recorded in response to those events. Trauma is Trauma and Let's Talk About Stress, Baby.Tune in to learn how we process traumatic events and why even though several people share an experience, they will deal with it very differently.  I discuss what is happening in your brain and body when in trauma, how to process anxiety and why it's important to not just breathe, but the chemicals you need to create to counteract stress. In the second half, Let's talk about Stress Baby, I address a question sent in by a listener. “Why don't I feel like having sex when I'm stressed out?”- something that I experienced as well. As women, we're taught that we must take care of others first and put ourselves last. We're used to sacrificing ourselves and our pleasure to make those around us happier, and we've been raised to compact any feelings of depression, resentment, and exhaustion. But there's a solution, a way to feel better, and it may sound radical, but it's exactly what we need right now.You might think that feeling turned on is not a priority when life is challenging and turning upside down on itself, but I want you to consider that maybe this is the answer to difficult times. The idea of sex and orgasms during stressful times may sound hard, but saying yes to pleasurable moments will produce the feel-good chemicals required to keep us alive.Join me this week as I share why more people are more likely to reach for a drink or dessert before they reach for an orgasm, and why this needs to change. I'm explaining why it's important to get into your body and out of your mind, and why stress affects our sex drives, but orgasm can be the answer.The Sex is Great by Ashley Kelsch is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe

Last week Austin was presented with a winter storm that took the power out leaving hundreds of thousands people displaced, in the dark and cold. The events, though not as extreme as the storm we experienced in 2021, has been another series of stress, triggering events. that It reminded me of two episodes I recorded in response to those events. Trauma is Trauma and Let's Talk About Stress, Baby. Tune in to learn how we process traumatic events and why even though several people share an experience, they will deal with it very differently.  I discuss what is happening in your brain and body when in trauma, how to process anxiety and why it's important to not just breathe, but the chemicals you need to create to counteract stress. In the second half, Let's talk about Stress Baby, I address a question sent in by a listener. “Why don't I feel like having sex when I'm stressed out?” - something that I experienced as well.  As women, we're taught that we must take care of others first and put ourselves last. We're used to sacrificing ourselves and our pleasure to make those around us happier, and we've been raised to compact any feelings of depression, resentment, and exhaustion. But there's a solution, a way to feel better, and it may sound radical, but it's exactly what we need right now. You might think that feeling turned on is not a priority when life is challenging and turning upside down on itself, but I want you to consider that maybe this is the answer to difficult times. The idea of sex and orgasms during stressful times may sound hard, but saying yes to pleasurable moments will produce the feel-good chemicals required to keep us alive. Join me this week as I share why more people are more likely to reach for a drink or dessert before they reach for an orgasm, and why this needs to change. I'm explaining why it's important to get into your body and out of your mind, and why stress affects our sex drives, but orgasm can be the answer.   Follow and Subscribe to Ashley's column, The Sex is Great, for a weekly dose of dating advice, her personal and uncensored experiences along with worksheets and videos to help you navigate the high's and low's of modern dating, sex and relationships. If you are a woman who feels stuck and stagnate in her current relationship, unable to have the conversations to either repair it or end it, can't stop seeking pleasure from other men and martinis and feel hungover with guilt, unsure how to untangle yourself from it all, head on over to www.ashleykelsch.com to inquire about working 1:1 with her.

WELL, DEAR READERS, it's official. In just a few short days, 2022 will be the year of our past and 2023 our present future.As I sit here reminiscing about the year, I will admit that it wasn't my strongest dating season. It was an endless series of dating disappointments — from one man not wishing me a happy birthday despite not being able to miss that it was my birthday to the guy that asked me out on a date only to cancel a few hours before, but then inviting me to an event along with “six of my hottest friends” — and a little bit in between.Today, I can laugh at moments like these. At the time, I felt like I had lost all hope. In fact, I was rendered speechless. I believe I started dating a woman after all of this, but it didn't take long to discover I'm not actually a lesbian or bisexual. This also proved disappointing because it meant I was back to where I started. Throw in some identity theft that resulted from my purse and wallet being stolen, followed by the loss of my mother and I was happy to just allow whoever stole my identity to have my life. “Here… you manage all of this,” I thought.Oh, did I mention the guy I dated who showed pictures of me to his friend, only for him to tell me they talked about how big my “cans” were? At first, I thought he said “hands” so I was confused. “What do you mean your friend thinks I have big hands?” I asked. Once he clarified, I was left feeling even more confused that I was talking to someone who would even say the word “cans” in the first place. For weeks, I interrogated myself. How did I let this happen?I could go on and on with anecdotes like those I just shared. I could lament and spill tea about all the nonsensical romantic experiences I found myself in, but it would be pointless — with the exception of laughing so hard we would cry. MORE: Ashley Kelsch Offers Advice for the Complicated Holiday SeasonA few days before my mom passed away, I was in New York City for the marathon. I had seen that she called and returned her call from an Uber, unaware that she had also left me a voicemail. We were catching up about Faith and I running the marathon and the subject of my dating life came up. “I heard the excitement of possibility in your voice, Ashley,” said my mother. “I didn't know you still had it in you.”“Let's try together. Shall we? Reflect and collect all you can that was good.I joked with her, saying, “Mom, I've spent most of my adult life dating unavailable Taurus men. (Note: my mom is a Taurus.) I've decided to put a pin in it and just work stuff out directly with you.”We laughed because it was true. That was the last time we talked on the phone. A week later, I saw that she had left a voicemail and listened. She talked about how she'd be riding on my shoulder and be on the tip of my heart. She told me how proud of me she was and that she was with me in spirit. She finished by saying, “So do what you're doing. Keep doing what you're doing. And never look back… Well, just for a break because there are some pretty damn good things to look back on.”This is actually what comes to mind as I think about 2023. Keep doing what we're doing and never look back, except to find some pretty damn good things to take with us. Let's try together. Shall we? Reflect and collect all you can that was good. I'll go first. I reconnected with the man I believed I would always end up with and who promised me no one was going to love more than he does. A story that started 20 years ago concluded with an understanding and ending neither of us predicted — we don't work. Before that truth settled in, we found ourselves living out the things I always dreamed would happen between us. I got to see and get to know my mother again, albeit briefly. I let down all my guards, and for the first time since my childhood, I received her and her love, which is a love that grows stronger each day. This also opened up a relationship with my grandmother. I've yet to find the words to describe what she and I are sharing but I know it to be healing and transformative for both of us. I experienced unconditional friendships. Mark my words — I have the most beautiful, supportive, loving friends in my life. I don't know what I would do without them. These relationships continue to grow and strengthen, even when challenged. I may not know how to pick men, but damn, I've got the friends thing figured out.I could keep going. My mom was right. We don't need to look back too long and for too much. Just grab those precious gems and go. There's no amount of dating douchery that's going to take away from a year that also offered me deep connection and healing with myself and others — romantically, relationally and familial. Though some of that left me with some major vulnerability hangovers, it also left me knowing that I didn't leave anything in the margins.The Sex is Great by Ashley Kelsch is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe

WELL, DEAR Listners, it's official. In just a few short days, 2022 will be the year of our past and 2023 our present future. As I sit here reminiscing about the year, I will admit that it wasn't my strongest dating season. It was an endless series of dating disappointments — from one man not wishing me a happy birthday despite not being able to miss that it was my birthday to the guy that asked me out on a date only to cancel a few hours before, but then inviting me to an event along with “six of my hottest friends” — and a little bit in between. Today, I can laugh at moments like these. At the time, I felt like I had lost all hope. In fact, I was rendered speechless. I believe I started dating a woman after all of this, but it didn't take long to discover I'm not actually a lesbian or bisexual. This also proved disappointing because it meant I was back to where I started.  Throw in some identity theft that resulted from my purse and wallet being stolen, followed by the loss of my mother and I was happy to just allow whoever stole my identity to have my life. “Here… you manage all of this,” I thought. Follow and Subscribe to Ashley's column, The Sex is Great, for a weekly dose of dating advice, her personal and uncensored experiences along with worksheets and videos to help you navigate the high's and low's of modern dating, sex and relationships. If you are a woman who feels stuck and stagnate in her current relationship, unable to have the conversations to either repair it or end it, can't stop seeking pleasure from other men and martinis and feel hungover with guilt, unsure how to untangle yourself from it all, head on over to www.ashleykelsch.com to inquire about working 1:1 with her.

Hey Mother Lovers,Tune in to this weeks episode where I'm explaining exactly what ‘quiet quitting' is, how it might be showing up in your life and how we as humans are designed to do it. It's this thing called the “Motivational Triad” and you need to know all about it. Plus, a few reminders about social conditioning and lessons you've been taught about quitting and being in relationships, that are driving your actions. In (m)Other Words, this message is going to let you in on what's going on, on the inside, causing you to shut down but show up and/ or jump ship all together. You don't want to miss it.xo,ashPS. If you're enjoying Inner Momologue and In (m)Other Words, please feel free to share it with a friend. And if you listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere else, I would be very grateful if you would rate, review and subscribe.In (m)Other Words is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

The concept of "quiet quitting" has gained attention, particularly through TikTok, as a form of work-to-rule behavior where employees restrict their efforts to the defined work hours and tasks. This approach doesn't necessarily entail leaving a job but rather adhering strictly to job requirements. It's akin to disengaging from work after hours to emphasize a work-life balance. This notion parallels broader societal ideas about commitment and quitting, both in the workplace and in personal relationships. The term refers to actions like turning off work-related communication at a specific time or gradually disengaging from a relationship without clear communication. The reasons behind quiet quitting vary and are often deeper than they appear. The motivation can stem from discomfort avoidance, fear of confrontation, or a desire for immediate relief. However, these actions are also attributed to the brain's aversion to discomfort and its pursuit of efficiency. Quiet quitting challenges traditional beliefs about persistence and facing discomfort. The essay advocates for embracing discomfort as a currency for personal growth, and it highlights the importance of addressing thoughts and beliefs to overcome challenges. It encourages open communication and self-advocacy as essential tools for both professional and personal growth. The writer suggests that reexamining beliefs and embracing discomfort can lead to positive change and a more authentic life. You can find full show notes here Follow and Subscribe to Ashley's column, The Sex is Great, for a weekly dose of dating advice, her personal and uncensored experiences along with worksheets and videos to help you navigate the high's and low's of modern dating, sex and relationships. If you are a woman who feels stuck and stagnate in her current relationship, unable to have the conversations to either repair it or end it, can't stop seeking pleasure from other men and martinis and feel hungover with guilt, unsure how to untangle yourself from it all, head on over to www.ashleykelsch.com to inquire about working 1:1 with her.

Happy Wednesday Mother Lovers,The navy seals when asked why they train so hard always respond with the same answer:“we train hard because under pressure, you don't rise to the occasion, you sink to your level of training”The saying is actually, “we don't rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training” as said by a greek philosopher. I think about this saying often and refer to it while I'm training for marathons.But when it comes to life and it's challenges, can we train our brains to react and respond in new ways? Raise our level of sink and create a higher baseline?Especially if we aren't prepared, let alone wired to respond optimistically? The answer is yes. The last few weeks have presented me with circumstances that have been out of my control. Most are, I know. However, it's caused me to pause and reflect…The way I used to react vs now are two very different experiences.It's the difference between reacting emotionally and remaining in victimhood to honoring my emotions but choosing my responses, repairing and moving on. I'm sharing the tools I've been using, how I've applied them to what's been coming up and how I even taught my teenagers to use them in their formative years. ( I share specifically how I did this and why)Teaching our brains how to think critically when under pressure is a skill set that can be learned, but we have to practice ahead of time. It doesn't end there; we may be able to develop the skill of handling our stressors, but are we dealing with the stress that builds up in our bodies and actively releasing it? Tune in today for my Mother Approved process and learn:A simple 5 Step Problem Solving Solution you can use next time you have a problemWhat Fear Setting is and how to do itWhy your life depends on you releasing stress. I'm giving you 7 ways as taught by Emily and Amelia Nagoski from their book Burnout.Forward In (m)Other Words to your friends & share on social. We could all use a little mother loving coaching.If you're enjoying Inner Momologue and In (m)Other Words, please feel free to share it with a friend. And if you listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere else, I would be very grateful if you would rate, review and subscribe. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

This week I'm reflecting on personal struggles and maintaining a positive mindset amidst challenging life events. I find myself questioning if my negative experiences are a result of my own manifestation or karma. While drawn to the concepts of manifestation and positive thinking from sources like Wayne Dyer, "The Secret," and Joe Dispenza, I don't believe positive thoughts are always a feasible solution due to the innate human tendency to think negatively and the genuine stressors life presents. I was having a conversation with a friend who advised me to worry less and be less emotional in tough situations, which initially felt like criticism. However, I realize that they have made progress in rewiring their thinking and managing stress over time. I've been observing positive-minded individuals in their life handle adversity differently, processing emotions and moving forward more effectively. I can see the difference in my reactions to these people's responses and see room for growth. It's important to understand stressors and stress, and how our bodies respond to them. Stressors are external factors that activate stress within the body, triggering a physiological response that prepares us to cope. We need to complete the stress response cycle to prevent chronic stress and its negative impacts on health. We can take a more proactive approach to addressing problems by evaluating different solutions, focusing on the safest course of action, and considering short- and long-term solutions.  Today I'm offering a few steps you can take that will make a significant difference. They are positive reappraisal, finding the silver lining in challenging situations, and using various techniques to release stress, such as breathing, seeking support, physical activity, laughter, and creative expression. Adopting problem-solving and stress management strategies, along with practicing these techniques can lead to a healthier way of dealing with pressure and adversity. For Full Show Notes Click Here Follow and Subscribe to Ashley's column, The Sex is Great, for a weekly dose of dating advice, her personal and uncensored experiences along with worksheets and videos to help you navigate the high's and low's of modern dating, sex and relationships. If you are a woman who feels stuck and stagnate in her current relationship, unable to have the conversations to either repair it or end it, can't stop seeking pleasure from other men and martinis and feel hungover with guilt, unsure how to untangle yourself from it all, head on over to www.ashleykelsch.com to inquire about working 1:1 with her.    

Hi hey hello,Welcome to Episode One of Inner Momologue. Tune and learn about the ONE Practice that changed my life, why I insist all my clients use and understand it and how you can start practicing it today. And of course, some real life story telling about mom life and dating. It's the motherlode ;)  If you're enjoying Inner Momologue and In (m)Other Words, please feel free to share it with a friend. And if you listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere else, I would be very grateful if you would rate, review and subscribe.Thank you always for your support.xo,ash This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode I delve into a transformative coaching tool that has the potential to revolutionize the way you approach your thoughts, feelings, and actions. As a life coach, I've witnessed countless clients grappling with internal struggles related to relationships, self-worth, and success. They often find themselves trapped in self-judgment and disempowering beliefs. Join me as I introduce you to the thought model, a framework that can help you gain clarity, control, and ultimately reshape your reality. For Full Show Notes Click Here Thank you for tuning in this week to the sex is great podcast, where we are navigating the highs and lows of dating and relationships together. If you haven't already subscribed to my substack, get on it! Not only does my podcast slip into your dm's when they go live but so do my uncensored dating sex and relationship columns, videos from bts of my life and my monthly recommendations that range from content I'm consuming to sex objects I'm using. You know you want it. But if you don't want all that, no sweat! You can subscribe to my podcast wherever you like to hear yours.    Follow and Subscribe to Ashley's column, The Sex is Great If you are a woman who feels stuck and stagnate in her current relationship, unable to have the conversations to either repair it or end it, can't stop seeking pleasure from other men and martinis and feel hungover with guilt, unsure how to untangle yourself from it all, head on over to www.ashleykelsch.com to inquire about working 1:1 with her.

Thank you for listening to our podcast, Inner Momologue! This post is public so spread the sexy word! Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite listening platform. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

This week Lauren and I wanted to take a moment to share with you how we met and why we chose to work together on this podcast. However, after hearing the news of the Uvalde Elementary School Shooting we felt the need to talk about the impact guns are having on our communities, overall psyche and the feeling of helplessness.  I have to believe that we as a society agree on more than we think, starting with our wellbeing and protection. Listen in as we discuss why we feel like we are being held hostage, the hypocrisy in thinking and that despite our different beliefs, we can do better for our children.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

If we don't know the meaning of consent and how to engage with it, how can we teach our kids? This week, I'm revisiting my conversation with Dr. Solomon where we discuss how consent has changed since what we were taught growing up, why there is no black and white definition, and the model of consent we're trying to move into.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/010 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, Lauren and I talk about rape culture, rape myths, and how we can educate people to take responsibility for their actions. We discuss the problem with saying “boys will be boys,” the harmful patriarchal messaging passed down for generations and ingrained into us as a society, and how we might be subtly contributing to this messaging.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/09 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

Join us this week for an informative conversation about sex and consent with Dr. Jennifer Litner of Embrace Sexual Wellness. Hear why there is not a one-size-fits-all for sex education and kids, what age parents should start having these conversations with their kids, and some suggestions to help you do so.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/08 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

Listen in this week as Olivia shares her journey of using plant medicine to reconnect with her disassociated body and reclaim her story. Hear her experience of healing her relationship with herself and her body, how her relationships with her family and friends have changed since doing this work, and her advice to people feeling stuck and frozen after experiencing assault.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/07 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

This week, Shandi Nichelle, Founder and CEO of FREEWELL, shares her experience of sexual assault, the shame that comes with assault, how she's healed, and how she's helping others heal as well. We discuss substance abuse among survivors and her passion for helping survivors of human trafficking, and Shandi shares her advice to anybody listening who feels shame after sexual assault and is afraid to speak up.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/06 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

This week, hear Alicia's experience of being intersex, how her childhood and the rest of her life has been affected by this, and what we can do as allies to support the intersex community. Hear Alicia's advice to parents and caregivers of intersex children or intersex children who are unsure of how to have the conversation, and some incredible resources available to intersex people.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/05 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

This week, spiritual coach and LGBTQ advocate Chris Tomkins shares some practical tips, tools, exercises, and advice to help you teach your kids about inclusivity. We're uncovering the blind spots we may face as parents and caregivers, discussing the importance of educating our kids on bullying and queerphobia, and showing you how to talk to your children about LGBTQ+ people and matters.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/04 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

Join us this week as we explore people's perceptions around gender and identity, where they come from, and how to stop placing things in binary boxes. There is a lot to unpack here, but the key is staying open, so we're showing you why you don't need to understand the inner details of somebody's identity but you do need to be respectful.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/03 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

This week, Faith shares their coming out story and the reason they were apprehensive about coming out to their brother, and we discuss the experiences of people coming out and the consent you have to share this with others. We're talking about the importance of pronouns and labeling, other people's judgments, being an ally, and dealing with people's reactions to coming out.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/02 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, we're talking about labels, identity, sexual preferences, and the gender spectrum as a whole. The identities we discuss have existed for thousands of years, but there wasn't the terminology or space in society to acknowledge and understand them, so Faith and Lauren share their advice to parents about their children's gender identity, coming out, and sexual preferences.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/01 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

Hey Renegades, Ashley here from House of Other.  After experiencing my child coming out a couple of years ago as non-binary I opened up to understand what this meant for them and  I found myself unlearning and learning a lot about human sexuality.  There was a world of terminology and education that I wasn't taught growing up.  I didn't know how to handle the conversations that arose but through my own self-coaching, new education, and interest to understand what they were going through, I discovered sex positive parenting. If you find yourself not understanding what the younger generation is talking about when it comes to gender and sexual diversity, intimate justice, and human sexuality, it's okay. You weren't taught, it's that simple. The truth is that the landscape has changed. And your kids need people in their lives who can communicate and educate them.  They need you.  The House of Other podcast is here to help those caregivers who want to take responsibility for educating their children on sexual wellness. We'll help you give your sex education a modern update and teach you how to have those conversations with your kids.  So if you're committed to creating a conversation and space for your children that empowers them and their overall sexual wellbeing this show is for you.  Be sure to hit that follow button and together we'll move from confusion and conflict, to curious and connected through intentional, present, and positive sex parenting.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

One chapter ends and another one begins... Stay tuned for my new chapter coming soon. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

Learn about Adele's beautiful, handcrafted objects and how she advocates for sexuality and sensuality while speaking to gender and racial inclusion. We discuss the challenges she has faced being censored on social media and public platforms for her work, and how her work is so much more than simply creating sex toys.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/86 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

I'm sharing my thoughts on dating and showing you the importance of being your own best date before attempting to find a partner. The One will come when it's time and not a minute sooner, so I'm showing you how to listen to your inner wisdom and strengthen your inner sense of self and the liberation available to you when you trust and surrender to this process.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/85 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

Tune in this week and hear a candid conversation with Faith as they share their journey with self-love and feeling intense love for another person as well as the concept of learning to express who you are as a person. We discuss social constructs, feminism, patriarchy, and love, and Faith walks me through some concepts I am somewhat unfamiliar with.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/84 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

This week, Jane and I have a candid discussion about menopause, aging, and learning to love ourselves and our bodies. Jane shares her advice to women entering their 40s who are concerned about the aging process and shows you how to embrace, accept and find joy in the everyday moments.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/83 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

Tune in to hear my thoughts on Sex/Life and the narratives and messaging it perpetuates around gender roles, sexual intimacy, relationships, and love. You know I don't hold back, so I'm sharing why it left me feeling so pent up and some questions I'd encourage you to ask yourself if you still want to watch it.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/82 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

People have been emailing, calling, and texting me asking things like where they should go on a first date, what lube they should use with their partner, what toy would be best in the bedroom, how they should communicate their sexual desires, and more. You're curious, I get it. So I'll give you what you want.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/81 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

Dr. Alexandra Solomon and I are having an explorative conversation around consent, clarity, and what we've been taught about heteronormative relationships. We discuss consensual sex, polyamory, BDSM, and being Queer, and I am very excited to share today's conversation about what consent is at the very core. There are so many nuances around consent, and we're diving deeper into them this week.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/80 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

I'm diving into the super sexy topic of consent and communication. Consent is sexy. Advocating for yourself and your boundaries is sexy. I'm sharing how you can step up your communication skills to ensure you and your person are on the same page so you can feel free to connect even deeper. Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/77 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

Find out why worrying about your relationships, dating, and future is distracting you from your life and how to intentionally focus on all you have right here and now. If it's meant to be for your greater good, it will be, so I'm showing you how to trust in this and learn to be present with your life exactly as it is. Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/76 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

Find out why I'm taking 90 days of celibacy and what I hope to achieve at the end of it. It is said that if you can harness your sexual energy and channel it to your creative sources, that you can possibly create on a genius level. I'm looking forward to directing my energy elsewhere and giving you some inspiration to consider your own sex life. Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/75 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

It may not seem like it, but it is possible to have a deeply passionate love without feeling powerless and crazy. I'm exploring why we need to question our emotions and showing you how to become empowered by learning what's going on in your brain. By knowing what's going on chemically, you can manage the process even if just a little bit, and learn to lose yourself in the moments – not the man. Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/74 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

Listen in this week as I explore why no matter how famous we become, it is always possible to choose to remain humble. I'm sharing some stories of people who have inspired me with their treatment towards others, and why regardless of our status, we must remember that we are all human. Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/73 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, I'm exploring how to find solutions to problems in relationships, the importance of being open to hearing other peoples' thoughts and feelings about you, and how to view problems as opportunities to grow and learn. Can you hold space for questions and answers, focus on the facts, and find solutions? Of course you can, Renegades, it's what we do. Explore more with me in this episode. Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/72 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

Join me this week as I share how your actions of playing it cool might actually be gameplaying and how to start being honest about what you want. Life is going to happen regardless, yet we can still decide how we want to navigate it. Learn how to stop playing it cool and start taking responsibility for your emotions. Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/71 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

Tune in this week to hear a candid conversation with my son, Nick. Nick shares what it was like being raised in a female-dominated household after losing his father early on in his life, why his dating life has been incredible in the last year, and I'm sharing what I've learned from my son and other people of his generation. Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/70 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, I'm telling you why developing awareness of your thoughts enables you to talk back to your brain and rewire your thought processes. I share some questions to ask yourself that will enable you to deconstruct what your brain is telling you, and why your thinking is optional so you can choose to think in a way that serves you. Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/69 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inmotherwords.substack.com/subscribe