My 1 Black Friend and My 1 White Friend

A couple of times in your life a movie will come out that is so unrealistically bad, you actually with to yourself the people involved in making it would be shot and pissed on. This is that movie.

Blab Blah Blah, Blah Blah Blah... Episode 50.

The Thanksgiving episode where Thanksgiving isn’t mentioned once.  But we mention Covid…racist names, Covid Testing, random bullsh#t, Covid numbers… very Covid topical episode.  Oh, we catch up finally on the Mandalorian.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

No fuss... no muss.. just deal with it.  Yeah, yeah I know we're late!

We recorded this before anything was called with the election.  In an attempt to take the high road, we would like to congratulate everyone who voted for the winning team.  Could we please carry on now with trying to make things better starting with a lil discussion about Sassafras.  Oh… and if anything is good about 2020, we got some great TV out of it including Season 2 of the Mandalorian.

Makin’ up for last week’s horror show by actually being funny.  We also discuss the BLATENT racism from people on The Call when literally NO ONE showed up the ONE TIME a black guy was running it.  And we talk about Borat 2.  High five!

Man did you ever look at an idea for an episode on paper and just think to yourself… man, on paper that episode sounds f#ckin’ incredible?  This is NOT that episode.  We talk about The Cabin on Netflix a little bit but in all reality… This episode had 11 jokes that didn’t land and truth be told… the whole thing just felt akin to giving birth to a kid with an extra large head.

This was a sh#tty episode… A sh#tty… sh#tty episode.  Jokes that didn’t land, depressing Covid talk, capped off with a piece of sh#t movie that no one should be subjected to.  But… we did talk about The Boys a little bit.

Episode 43… The first time “The Practice” was referenced on a podcast in 10 years.  I checked.  We also reference “Roots” but I was afraid even a picture of that would throw the snowflakes into an apoplectic fit… But yes… both references were made in the SAME conversation.  Probably the most fun Episode we’ve had since we started this whole thing.  We guarantee laughs in this one.  Oh yeah… we talk about Utopia as well!

We spend about 20 minutes this week talking about Ted Lasso and The Boys… QUESTION: “What do you mean Chris?  What did you talk about during the other 40 minutes of the show??” ANSWER: Annoying, pandering white people.  How black people don’t use the word c*ck.  How Duncan sucks at phone sex.  What minorities are scared of in newscasts.  It’s a fun listen but be warned, some white people are going to get triggered.

Episode 41 is in the books… yeah yeah we’re late, I know.  Pandemic, Duncan starting work, blah, blah, blah.  Once 45 knocks out this vaccine in November, we’re not gonna have these excuses anymore… But while we’re waiting… we talk about Gary Busey – Pet Judge, Comedians Bert Kreischer, Ryan Hamilton, Lewis Black, and Rob Schneider, Superman – Man of Tomorrow, and the lovefest that is Season 2 of the Boys!

Dakim had to take the week off and since I’m too much of a p#ssy to try and do the show alone, I reached into the old bag of tricks and got Brian from PCL to fill in for him… I know what you’re thinking… great… now there’s 2 of them.  We really don’t talk about much…  not that we ever do, but in talking about nothing, we touch on a few things like Bill & Ted Face the Music and Ted Lasso. 

Episode 39 is up and running w/ David Issac from Vintage Geeks and Tales From the Yard where we discuss the non-overwhelming but still better than San Diego Comic-Con event… DC Fandome.  The Snyder Cut, Wonder Woman 1984, The Batman, The Suicide Squad, Shazam, Black Adam, Flash, Titans… I guess 4 out of 8 is more than one can expect. 

We’ve got 99 problems but a bitch aint…. Well that’s not true.  Apparently this week there were many, many bitches.  Believe it or not… we almost play peacekeepers.  Maybe… probably not.  Anyway you all have heard the issues of this past week and we address it here.  Hopefully as fairly as we can.  We’re not even advertising this episode on other pages out of respect for people that don’t want to take sides.  But after all the bullshit, we talk about Project Power, Holey Moley, Albino Asians, Funny Lesbians, and Duncan has finally pulled his head out of his ass and watched The Umbrella Academy.

We’re a little late this week cause ok storm damages and blackouts here in NY but we have a guest this week pimpin’ his shit… The Drostest with the Mostest, Ryan Drost of Star Joes fame, talking about his new comic book kickstarter Stealth Hammer…  We do some talk about Transformers, the Umbrella Academy, Syfy’s Todd Mcfarlane: Like Hell I Won’t, and we continue  with another in a  string of unfunny Spanish comedians.  There’s some other sh#t we discuss as well but honestly I don’t remember. 

OMG what? A variant? A variant that you recorded in December is just being released now cause you’re just getting around to it like a pair of two fat, lazy fucks??  That’s right!  AND… we have a reunion of two people that had a show, then didn’t have a show, but as of this moment in time, they have the exact same show that they didn’t have or had the whole time… Amanda Albers and Quinton Roberts joins us for our review of  Return of the Jedi.

Got it in at under an hour AGAIN… We are the Quibi of Pop Culture podcasts.  The Catholic Church Service of talkin’ about bullsh#t, imaginary stuff that doesn’t matter.  We get ya in and out in under 60 minutes because quite frankly, we are aware you can’t stand the sound of our stupid voices for much more than that… In this episode, we spend a few minutes talking about Fear City, Japan Sinks, Scoob, Jim Gaffigan’s The Pale Tourist, Lady Death: The Movie, and Comicon’s bullsh#t attempt to make the con that didn’t happen… happen.

Just under the wire… we bring you clear, concise talk about nothing.  Every week, we find different, new and exciting ways, to talk about nothing.  In this fast paced, intense, never say die world of competitive podcasting, no one can talk about nothing better than your favorite fat white guy and your favorite fat white guy…  In between all this talk of nothing, we manage to talk about some imaginary stuff that doesn’t even matter including… the new Netflix Series “Cursed”, 2010 called, they want their “Community” back…. 2018 chimed in with call waiting, and they want their “Cloverfield Parodox” back, and we finish out this brilliant Algonquin Round Table with perhaps the best show to hit network television in the past half century… Holey Moley.

Man… talk about Misery… I don’t know… Duncan just seems to pull it out of me.   We start this one out on a rare political note… then, we move on to unfunny comedians that just phone their specials in… then we finally fall out with some talk of some decent movies… Just in case you didn’t get any of the previous hints… We talk about that f#ckin’ idiot AOC,  George Lopez’s sh#tty new special, Jim Jefferies’ moderately sh#tty new special, Palm Springs and the remarkably well done The Old Guard.

Knockin’ out Episode 33 in under an hour and talkin’ about chubby white guys in pink Le Tigre shirts with AK-47s and how Chris and Dak would defend their respective households!  Holy $hit…. How funny was that guy??  We also talk a little about Russel Peters, Ali Wong, My Spy, A Thousand Words, Crossing Swords, Unsolved Mysteries, and the dumpster fire that was Warrior Nun!

There will be no call this Friday on the account of it being a holiday weekend that even all of you “F#ck America White People” can enjoy…  But we’re making up the fact that we’re not having the call by giving you one of the best M1BF&M1W Episodes EVER… Chris and Dakim… Social Justice Warriors!  Then we take a break from this dumb, what seems to be every day Black and White Shit and discuss… The Twilight Zone, 7500, The Beastmaster, Eurovision, and Irresistible.

This one was bad… It’s like we both woke up with sand in our vaginas… Hey, they can’t all be homeruns right?  However, we soldier thru it and attempt to discuss The Gentlemen, The Floor is Lava, Ultimate Tag, Altered Carbon: Re-sleeved, Reality Z, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Seis Manos.

Episode 30 is up and running but was a technical nightmare.  Am I saying that cause for the first time ever we had 2 black people on the show… possibly, but not really!  In these trying times, I wanted the most militant black woman I could find to be on the show and boy did I get her…. Ms. Stephanie “Pretzels” Chapman from PCL joined us and I’ll be honest…  I was terrified this whole episode. HOWEVER this was one of the best times I had on the Podcast and we had great discussions and even discussed Da Five Bloods and some other sh#t…. Please deal with the sections of crappy, distorted audio as some equipment was acting up but I guarantee it’s worth suffering thru it.. 

Admittedly…. This one got out of hand relatively quickly.   We call out the white people, black people,  the eye-talians, the Jews, the Asians, and the English people… No one is safe this episode as Dan West from the Brute Force and Ignorance Podcast joins us to make fun of everything from the above mentioned nationalities to… Uncut Gems,  Sonic the Hedgehog, Wording is Hard,  The Last Days of American Crime, Wu Assasins, and Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom – Leave it to the English guy to keep things current with a 2 year old dinosaur movie…We offend everyone here…  Hope we make a lot of ya laugh and the ones that don’t… pull the stick out of your ass.

Episode 28 – The crossover that no one asked for, but will probably listen to anyway.  We join Paul Hard from Movies from the Hart in the screening room where we discuss the recent sh#tty social events that’s been goin’, Covid… and the first 3 movies in the Die Hard Franchise!  Obviously the screening room is not in an Alamo Drafthouse because we would’ve been kicked out.  I’m guessing that this would be considered a variant but we’re counting it as one of our own! “When it comes to racism, people say “I don’t care if you’re black, white, purple or green…. Hold on now… Purple or Green?  Ya gotta draw the line somewhere.  To hell with purple people… unless they’re suffocating.  Then HELP THEM!” – Mitch Hedberg

Those  who can’t… Criticize.  And that’s what we do this week… Listen to us talk sh#t about people who are doing way more to entertain you than we ever can… and we give them sh#t about it.  We talk about The Invisible Man, Disney Gallery, Stargirl, Capone, John Henry, Justice League Dark APokolips War, Lovebirds, and the new specials from Jimmy O. Yang and Patton Oswalt!

Star Wars Variant… Episode 7… The Empire Strikes Back – The boys are joined by Paul Hart and David Isaac for the 2+ hour episode where we dive deep into one of the greatest movies of all time.  David and Paul are their usual Rockstar selves but you could hear the pain in Duncan and I’s voices where the fatigue of doing 6 previous episodes is finally ramming it’s foot up our collective asses.  But… we still bring the funny like no one else can!

All hail the Queen… We bring back Rebekah Dahling of Picardcast,  Number 1 Comic Books and The Animated Batcast for a roundtable that includes but is not limited to… The X-Men Anime Series, Defending Jacob, Solar Opposites, Paradise PD, Star Trek Enterprise, Into the Night… and somehow or another, when the stars finally align… all roads lead to 80s sci-fi series V.  Hint for upcoming show… All’s we’re saying is… V is for Variant.

13 weeks in Quarantine and our 3rd week in a row where we have a painfully average, suburban white guy joining us on the show.  Duncan is about to just grab the first black guy he can to come on and even sh#t up a little bit…   This week we’re joined by the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be… Paul “The Hitman” Hart from Movies from the Hart and The Animated Batcast.  We spend 45 minutes talkin’ about sad, lonely birthdays in a parking lot where people drive by and honk at the birthday boy/girl… F#ckin’ Rona.  Then we finally get to the meat of the conversation and talk about the latest animated DC flick Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay, Puerto Ricans in Paris, Gentefied, the new Netflix series Hollywood, the new Amazon series Upload… and the perfection that was the finale of The Clone Wars… in between we learn about Paul’s sick fascination with Rosie Perez and the fact that his cat is as annoying as David Isaac’s internet connection!

Yeah, Yeah I am well aware that we are months late but we want to do more of these and we figure we have to get out the ones we did already before we could do new ones.  I am well aware… we suck.  We’re here discussing Star Wars A New Hope with special guests Brooke Daugherty and Daniel Hoeppner… Some things may be said here that are inappropriate… truthfully, I don’t remember its been so long since we recorded so I apologize ahead of time… anyway, we hope you guys enjoy out deep dive into the very first Star Wars film in 1977.

One of our best guests ever but ya wouldn’t know it cause we were plagued with his sh#tty internet connection… Darth Plagues, I mean David Isaac joins us for an awesome discussion on the ‘Rona, Ozark, The Prodigy,  #BlackAF – Spoiler… the actual black guy hated it…, and Dave - Spoiler… the black guy won’t even watch it, and of course, the last 3 perfect episodes of Clone Wars.

Episode 23 – A very special My 1 Black Friend and My 1 White Friend …. Conversations in Quarantine with a very special guest, the big dawg, Brian from Pop Culture Leftovers.  The majority of this episode is about nothing… literally nothing… just 3 guys bullshitting on the state of the world, drive-in theaters and Mexican Restaurants… but in between we mention some good and bad things about India.. and we talk about Extraction, The Last Dance, The Midnight Gospel, and the dumpster fire that is Too Hot To Handle on Netflix.  So in true My 1 Black Friend and My 1 White Friend fashion, we had a killer guest on and literally just wasted the opportunity… but hopefully Brian will come back and we’ll talk about actual Pop Culture stuff next time!

So, I have to say… I miss havin’ that black bastid over and in-studio… However, we soldier on cause that’s what we do.  We want to thank the people who are on the front lines of this bullsh#t virus every day kickin’ its ass and keeping it at bay.  All the rest of you simply have to stay the fuck home. Once again, how hard is that??  So also once again we talk about the morons in our neighborhoods going out without masks or gloves, dumb asses congregating at churches and other typically assnine things goin’ on in the city… but we also talk about… #blackAF, the Russian Avengers, “Guardians”, The Plot Against America, The Clone Wars and The Kennedy Center Mark Twain Award Special honoring Dave Chappelle… Come for the funny, stay for the sexy!

I know, I know, we’re late… Hey we’re in a f$ckin’ pandemic and we’re essential man, so cut us some goddamn slack lol.  Seriously, sorry about that, we’ll be on time from now on.  This week, on Episode 21 we talk about Bad Boys 3,  some dumb movie on Netflix that the black guy rambled on about for 7 minutes (hey, working from home and not seeing people is really getting to him), Netflix Movie of the Year Coffee and Kareem, and our usual disappointment at the Clone Wars…

Quarantine Date 04042020 – Running out of food… I only have about 12 Hungry Man Salsbury Steak Meals left, some peanut butter and jelly and some Baked Lays…  I did however get the black guy to stop watching pandemic movies on Netflix, so ya know…  silver linings and all… This week we try and entertain all ya shut ins with talk about Wrestlemania, The Platform, Ozark, The Assignment and the new episode of The Clown Wars…  Seriously… people… STAY THE F#CK HOME!  Stop complaining, help out your neighbors, and we’ll get thru this shit together.

Episode 19 – Surviving in Isolation… Both of us are still ok while being on Semi-Lockdown in NY but that’s not holding us back as we talk about The Tiger King, Hunters, Bloodshot,  28 Days Later, Train to Busan, Tom Segura’s Ball Hog and various other Pandemic movies and shows because the black guy is a f’n glutton for punishment!

Episode 18 is in the books, however… We have been forced to succumb to the paranoia of the virus and we are basically on semi-lockdown so we had to phone it in again and probably will have to do it again for the foreseeable future so yes… we talk about that a little.  However, we can be just as obnoxious and offensive on the phone so hopefully we won’t lose many of ya lol.  This week we do some rehashing of Spenser and Don’t F#ck with Cats and we add some bullsh#t about  The Walking Dead, The Disappearance of Willie Bingham, The Scorpion’s Tale, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and the Clone Wars.  Look people, it’s a shitty time and probably will be for the next few weeks so stop getting offended at every little f#ckin’ thing and laugh a little… If not with us then who?  If not now, then when?

Covered some ground this week as we bullsh*t about My Hero Academia, Don’t F#ck With Cats, Narcos Mexico Season 2, Castlevania, Spenser Confidential., Hunters, Some Star Wars Talk, the Kung Flu, and a possible Albino.   This entire episode  is dedicated to Mad Mike, the Rocket Man!

Man this was a rough one… Chris looses it at the end so we encourage you to if anything , listen to the last  15 minutes lol… but prior to that, we discuss Chris’ toy obsession, Altered Carbon Season 2, The Darkest Mind, Overlord, The Clone Wars and Superman Red Son.

Episode 15 is here and we’ve been waiting for this for a long time… The Clone Wars, Season 7 was awesome and we talk about it… A LOT…. Plus Mythic Quest, some DC News and…uhh honestly I forgot… but I do remember it was funny lol… Hope you guys like this one!

Episode 14 is out, a little late, but out none the less.  Duncan actually just literally phones this one in and throws off the vibe of the entire podcast but who am I to bitch after taking a month off right?  Anyway, we talk a little about Lock and Key, V Wars, YouTube Short Films, Masters of the Universe VO stars, the new Batman suit, JoJo Rabbit… yeah yeah I know, we’re late to the party.  Anyway, I hope ya enjoy our laziest episode yet!

Mini-Me joins the boys for exactly 12 whole minutes and we talk about the horrible piece of shit that is Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous… I can’t even type it… It’s that fucking stupid.  Basically 2 hours of women beating the shit out of men cause… hey why not right??  Not to be a dick or anything but I don’t think men have made a 2 hour movie about men beating the shit out of women for 2 straight hours since that Tina Turner movie almost 30 years ago.  Now more than ever we need ya to download, subscribe, whatever... just listen! Oh and leave us a goddamn iTunes Review if you have time!

We’re Baaaack… 30 Days in Hell ain’t holding us back and we’re in the groove again with all new episodes!   Here we talk about my time away, Jay and Silent Bob Reboot, Criminal Minds (for all the old people), and a few other shows that we forgot about already!  My 1 Black Friend and My 1 White Friend… teaching you life lessons since 3 months ago! Now more than ever we need ya to download, subscribe, whatever... just listen! Oh and leave us a goddamn iTunes Review if you have time!

We're back with the continuing series of Variant Episodes.  This is Episode 5 of the series... Rogue One!  Special Guests Yeadon Paul and the legendary Joe Stark join us in breaking down the movie!

Boom… Speaking our truth!!! What a commitment to our craft!!  Douchbag millennials… see how fucking annoying that is??  Anyway… Our Christmas episode is now in the book.  When we first started this thing, we made a commitment that you’d get something from us every Wednesday.  We’re keeping that promise… However… We’ll be on vacation until January 15th but you’ll get a treat of two… that’s right TWO Star Wars Variant Episodes a week until then! We hope you all have a happy and safe holiday, all of you guys kick ass.

Arguably the worst Star Wars Movie of all the time.  I’ll admit looking back on this one, it was hard.  Not only did it absolutely suck, but we had to try and fill an hour long recap podcast about it.  It was this show that made me question this whole variant episode bullshit lol.  But I hope you guys like it anyway.  At the end of the day, we may have gotten a joke or two in that was actually funny… but honestly… who knows lol.

Episode 10… Getting’ it in under right under the wire.. Great little episode where Dakim complains about Holiday Parties, admits he loves Young Sheldon and talks about Jumanji: The Next Level.   Then of course ya can’t spell Christmas without Chris and dive shallowly into The Movies that Made Us, the shit party that was 6 Underground and the usual Watchmen and Mandalorian recaps.

Star Wars Variant Episode 3 is out now…. Revenge of the Sith…  We got 2 superstars joining us this episode in Dan Hoeppner from The Leftover Army Monsters and Rebekah Dahling from Picardcast proving that if ya have the right people on the show… you could make a shitty movie enjoyable to talk about! 

Episode 9… Exhaustion has set in… And you could tell… This is a light week where we only talk about The Mandalorian, Watchmen, and my 2nd ever, dignity thrown out the window appointment with… the finger.  You know we’re short on material when we talk about what that finger did.  Now more than ever we need ya to download, subscribe, whatever... just listen! Oh and leave us a goddamn iTunes Review if you have time!

Star Wars Variant Episode #2 is now available… We’re talkin’ Attack of the Clones in this one with special guest David Isaac from Vintage Geeks.  David fuckin’ knocked it out of the part.  We make talkin’ about this shit ass movie not only tolerable… but FUN.   We had such a great time recording this episode and really think we’ll get more than a laugh or two out of ya! Now more than ever we need ya to download, subscribe, whatever... just listen! Oh and leave us a goddamn iTunes Review if you have time!

Episode 8 is in the books and starts off with a bang discussing people who are afraid to laugh and think the whole world gives a shit about their feelings.  IT’S OK TO LAUGH PEOPLE… Also… for the first time ever… Duncan talks about a Documentary…. Watch out Talks on Docs!  We discuss Rocket Man about a suicidal dude building his own manned rockets, we talk about the new Harley Quinn Series on DC Universe, the Titans finale, and the latest season of The Walking Dead.  And our usual Mandalorian and Watchmen discussions.