Welcome to the Ride with Nbs Malay podcast, where great spoken word happens, peaceful messages and great vibes!
Should you accept your placement in someone's life when it ends in a way that you do not agree with? Is it right to control someone's lifestyle with your expectations? What do you consider a friend? This episode is about releasing the blame from yourself on the relationships you may be manipulated into keeping. Everything does not need to be explained (in my opinion, of course). Be a good person but don't exhaust yourself into being more than what your soul can offer. Take space for you and let people be them. Don't let it break you. Don't let what they think of you, bring out the dark side of you. You're better than that (in my opinion, of course).
We talk about “red flags”, but how do you know what to look for if you don’t see the part you played to welcome the repetitiveness? You have to be ready to accept your responsibility in something in order to make some kind of change in your life. If you want “peace”—you have to be peaceful. Forgive others without them apologizing for their wrongdoings and move on. Go ahead and hold a grudge! Your heart can turn into stone, but I refuse to not see the bigger picture. If it costs “forgiveness” to let someone go and feel peace—well, then... GOODBYE to all the apologies that aren’t owed to me. Forgiveness is for myself
Not too personal! Ouch! But I wanna express something that I feel is very important to society today... TALK to your kids... you
Dag... I don’t even know where to express this... but if you need some motivation, tuuuune iiiiin
I mean... expect what you accept, right? Wrong. Well... in my opinion. Should we love with no limits? Is it healthy for us to say, “I love you. If you need me, I’m here, but
Chatting it up with my friend about some controversial stuff on the Facebook feed! Man it’s interesting to know what other people think... but here are our opinions!!! Great convo and good laughs! The links we spoke about: Post on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/512420796/posts/10159155495570797/?d=n Narelle’s Meditation Podcast: https://anchor.fm/narelle4/episodes/Throat-Chakra-Clearing-Visualization--Express-yo-self-ese5ns Narelle’s Instagram: https://instagram.com/narelleakc?igshid=111iquiag3xdp Narelle’s
It’s not what you think it is... It’s just another conversation about being human.
I feel like most of the world has tried to
Crazy how a blackbird has all the space in the sky and their most common cause of death are cars... and cats. Did you hear them singing at the end of January? Or maybe you heard a crow
Yeah... it’s time to end that... it’s just too much to deal with. I want to talk about the things that matter. Let’s reset...
Why do we always need an apology? Why do we feel like a person who can’t take responsibility for hurting you, can say “sorry” for hurting you? Will you be satisfied with an apology that is not felt? When is it going to be your time to heal? How long are you going to let a person prey on you and change the person that you are suppose to be? You change when you’re ready! Own up to what you are doing wrong so YOU can be a better YOU! Walking Away: https://youtu.be/GEeLQvivgdg Beneficial Depression After Abuse: https://youtu.be/JMJVFtQEADQ Regarded or Discarded By the Narc: https://youtu.be/0Kivk8r994k Emotional Control: https://youtu.be/62e9Pp8twWo
Hey!!! Do you ever look at yourself and see how a person changed you? Whether it’s for better or for worse? Do you ask yourself if you’re anything like them after dealing with them for so long? Is it possible that you are developing the traits of a narcissistic individual?
Are you tired of asking yourself what is right with you? Tired of being right all the time? Are you entertained by abusing others with your cruel words, selfish expectations and evil antics? Have you taken the narcissism test? Listen, don’t listen to this if you’re expecting a happy ending. This subject makes me angry ! Article we talked about: https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/14-signs-of-narcissism YouTube Video: https://youtu.be/3RkLvglGKCQ
Okay... so, first I had a baby, then I had love —but no marriage? Do I care? Do you care? Does the thought of never walking down an aisle, exchanging affordable rings and nervously kissing your partner, in front of hundreds of ugly strangers, really bother you? It only bothers me in romance movies because it’s too perfect to compare to real life. Compare a 20 year long term relationship to a 20 year marriage... what’s the difference? Taxes? .... pretty much
*hits blunt* Imagine a person performing love through actions (cause actions speak louder, right?) and then BOOM
Hey... guess what the Mayor’s office asked me to do
What does the “golden rule” mean to you? Do you look back on your situations and ask, “hmmm... if I was that person, how would I feel?” Is it important to you to cherish the people who have done nothing but shown you love? Is it important to you to love without being lost? Do you fear the thought of letting go? Sit down and think of your purpose in everyone’s lives. What’s their purpose in yours? Have they served their purpose? Is it time to let that bird fly???
Why do we have to always give you a reason why we’re single? Why is singleness always seen as a bad thing? Have you ever heard the question: why are you in a relationship? I mean—I haven’t. I did hear once that single means: “Stress Is Now Gone Life’s Easier”!!! Is that true? Of course! People associate being single with loneliness and boredom (yo—the boredom part is true
The other day I asked my social media, “What hurts more; love or hate?” I received lots of answers, but now I’d like to give my perspective. I welcomed my friend, Narelle, to also give her views to it. We know love shouldn’t hurt—but it does when it’s lost. We know hate should be ignored—but it hurts to hate someone you once had so much love for. It goes many ways!!! But how can we talk about breakups without talking about that famous saying; “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone”? Does that mean one night stands? We have strong views on that (no judgment)! Tune in!!!! Oh! Follow my friend’s podcast with this link: https://anchor.fm/bwae ! Peace!
Wow! Can’t believe this happened
My friend from high school, Tieya, came to share her story about her life so others would have a better understanding of her. She wants everyone to know that a smile has a story behind it and her story goes deep. After listening please subscribe to her YouTube Channel (link below) and write some encouraging words if you have time. Thank you. Tieya’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq4kDmPZp9VwIYXiUA-Y6NQ
This experience was just—WOW! I can’t even begin to explain what this felt like... but I will try. Lol. This was completely unbelievable! I know everybody said I deserved this but—SO MANY PEOPLE DESERVED THIS. I just can’t believe it was me. This felt so good! I am so thankful. Thank you Althea and Lakeisha!
The show still went on! My friends held it down! I heard nothing but great things! I want to talk about the importance in taking a break from the things you love to prevent yourself from numbing your pain. I know sometimes it’s best to keep that distraction, for your own sake! But I have learned that it can be just as damaging as completely ignoring your problems all together. I ran from it before... I can’t even lie. I learned that is not the way and I am still learning how to heal. Healing starts with addressing the problem for what it is. I’ve had friends help me come to that conclusion and I know I will be at my very best as soon as I let all of this suffering go. Thanks for listening.
I went to a retreat called, “The Pink Party” hosted by @gurltheretreat ! I know my purpose is to speak my pain to you to help us all heal together. I learned at the retreat that I must execute that plan and continue being BRAVE by being VULNERABLE. At first, I thought I was releasing too much, but the truth is... I’ve been silent for too long and I don’t care about how any other soul feels about it!!! “Freedom of speech” isn’t taken advantage of enough! I have the right to say what I want, post what I want and FEEL how I want, UNAPOLOGETICALLY! I decided that I’m the type of hero that will help save herself by not being afraid. I’ve always hated feeling limited to what I talk about because I have too much to say. Now, I know my specialty... I know what I have to do. Ride with me to tour the experience of what it looks like to come from being broken and confused, to learning how to be here for myself. It is an intense process... but I think it’s going to be worth it. #VoicesHavePower
As you know, life is not easy. Most of the time your friends can’t help you and other times you may feel like people don’t care enough. Well, that’s how I’ve felt. But I do care about myself enough to get the healing I deserve after so much hurt and pain in my life. I know I’m not the only one going through this, so I don’t mind sharing my process. I believe one day... my happiness will be genuine and no one’s going to steal that power from me, again. Regardless of how I feel about myself right now, I AM a triumphant woman and I am worthy of existing for myself. Thanks for listening and I’ll see you next year. Peace.
Should we wait for an apology to forgive? No... but I had to learn that. You asked why did I tell my story when it happened 4 years ago? Usually people heal when they talk about what hurt them and others learn from your personal experiences. If I don’t share something, when I am in the position to do it, then I am not doing my job. I say what I feel because I am not a plastic individual. I exercise all my rights on social media, in public, and in private—it is part of my freedom and definitely most of my peace.
He might be your friend. I don’t care. He might be your brother. I don’t care. He might be your grandson. I don’t care. He might be your cousin. I DON’T CARE! Be aware of the people you love and let them know that it is not okay to hurt anybody. Especially someone you planned to have a future with. I don’t care who is listening. I don’t care who doesn’t believe me. I don’t care if you’re mad that I am speaking out because I CARE about myself and I care about others who can learn from this. No silence!!! Cause nobody will know. No silence!!! If you’re ready to grow from all the hurt and pain this caused you. No silence!!!! Because your story matters, my story matters and how we made it out is important! Be encouraged, be courageous, be strong, be healthy and be free. Much love and peace to you. https://www.breakthecycle.org/blog/it’s-national-domestic-violence-awareness-month
Talk about a “fuck boi”... eh—that’s not very nice, Malay. That’s actually shady af. Nah. Real shyt... there was pros and cons to it. I guess you’ll have to listen to find out. This is the first time people sent in questions for me to answer. So, that means people care about what I have to say! I can’t apologize for this episode being so long... it’s worth it!!!! Peace.
Yerrrro—talk about bad blood. Like, how do things be so great one second and the next it’s like—uuuuh...? I spoke about ambivalent relationships and holding on to people that need you. But I changed my mind. Lol. It don’t always work out that way!!! You need you more than anybody else. I am slowly starting to realize that. I am a gem. I would be mad if I lost me. But what do you think? Should I have been more sensitive? Do you agree with Lorena Thomas in this article here: https://herway.net/love/im-slowly-learning-let-go-people-dont-value?sfns=mo
It’s always good for people to see things from a different perspective. Judge people all you want, as you should, but give them a chance to explain who they are. It’s not that we have to explain, but we choose to give you our reason. Do you know what a renoB is?
Can I be real with you? Can I tell you a secret? I honestly don’t care what anybody thinks about me after this. I am human... I’m a real person. Real people go through real things like depression and some people take the worst route. My routes haven’t always been straight and narrow. I fell a few times... got off track... ran out of gas while I drove down this lane... but I am the only one responsible to pump my gas. People can’t live for me. People can’t take my pain for me and vice versa. I need to be real with my own situations to let someone know that I have been where they are... my life is real and I need to understand self-worth. I can be loved, needed, used and receive all that back from myself. I can breathe. I will breathe. Nobody can stop me from being who I am. I am me. I love me. I will live for me. Peace. Link to poem https://nbsmalay.com/f/a-reason-to-exist
Where do we go from here? When do we put an end to our own pain? When is it okay to lean on somebody else? Is it possible to love and not lose? Don’t pity the single folks... we can be in a relationship if we wanted to. But I refuse to be in a relationship that isn’t worth it. I want someone to think about me all the time and call me. Text me good mornings and goodnights. I don’t want to be kicked down on social media because you don’t understand me. I don’t want to be misused or misunderstood... I want to be loved. I deserve love. I deserve peace.
Do you think a person can love more than one person? I’m not saying you can justify it, I’m just looking at views. If you were to agree with someone’s side to it, how would you feel? What would you say? Can you ever see yourself in a polygamous relationship if you benefitted the most?
Going through a lot, I guess. Venting about it and reading articles helps me. It sucks to be in a mood and feel like you can’t switch it. Who helps you through it? A lover? A friend? A therapist? Everybody needs somebody or something. I have pen and paper— pretty much all I need. But, I’ve got to release. I need my friends! My creatives! We gotta help each other through it. If I ever said I would be there for someone, I’m there till the day I die. No broken promises.
Do we ever talk about the journey through co-parenting?
We came from talking about kids needing father figures in their life to some unspeakable thangs lol. No... you really have to listen in. It’s always fun talking with Eb and Nugget!
Eh—Don’t you just hate talking about this? Losing people in your life. Like... for what? Why does it have to be that way? But people come and go... all the time... it’s life. We’re human! Our job is to just BE THERE, I guess.
Sometimes we don’t know how to ask for help. Sometimes we want to keep our business to ourselves. Most times we’re sure people won’t understand. Other times we don’t give people a chance to listen. We are what we eat. We are what we tell ourselves we are. If you believe you’re a failure... you ARE. If you believe you’re a winner... you ARE.
We are going to have so much fun tonight! We are going to enjoy so much talent tonight! And we are going to create so much peace tonight! Make sure you come out and don’t miss the vibes!
So many people feel they know it all. They feel like they can just glance at a person and they know their entire life. You don’t know anything about a person because of photos, social media and the things people say about them. And you have no right to tell a person how they should be either. We accept people for who they are and the better person they will become in life. It starts there.
Play games and end up talking bout threesomes lol so unexpected! Hahaha
Just friends and me up at almost 3 am still drinking and chilling !!! Fun and the best conversation!
Sometimes we feel discouraged—but that’s okay. That’s what we have each other for! I will lift you because I know you would do it for me. There is no time for discouragement!
Everything happens for a reason, right? Wrong! Well, I’m my opinion... but let’s talk about it... let’s talking about losing love that wasn’t meant to be lost. Let’s talk about avoiding regrets and let’s talk about forgiveness and how to become better... Thanks for listening.
I often wonder why people hate their skin color. I created this piece(peace) to remind us of what our skin tone means—how people would love to be a different tone while you are hating it. People are bleaching their skin to be lighter while others are burning their skin to be darker. Why can’t we just be happy with how we were made? You don’t get to choose your skin tone because then you lose a part of you. What’s the point? Learn to love yourself—the way you are. I mixed in Nina Simone’s “Black Bird” because when I think of loving my beautiful black, I think of that song. She talked about all the pain this “Black Bird” went through and “don’t you wanna Fly” basically means to me... aren’t you sick of where you are? Aren’t you tired of all the pain and sorrow? Soar! Be yourself! Be you! Be free! So incorporating it into my peace (I know how to spell but you know what I mean)it means to stop being who you are not. Love yourself and be free. Love your skin. Thanks for your time.
Great open mic turn out... it’s always good to release negative emotions to develop positive ones. Make room for love! Make room for peace and strength! We can build and be free. Talk to others to stop painful emotions or let it go at an open mic.
We’ve all worked super hard on something and didn’t get what we expected at least once in our lives. But if we stopped there, then what? Sure, we have each other. But what good is that if we aren’t confident within ourselves.
I don’t believe that you should completely let go of negative people in your life. Because maybe those negative people need you. Maybe negative people are put into your life because you need to teach them how to be positive. You don’t want to regret letting go.
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