The EmotionAlly Podcast

 In this episode, I introduce our newest clinician on the therapy team, Cori Lazarte. I talk with her about why therapy is important, how it works, and what people can expect when they sit down with a therapist. Cori explains her approach to helping clients find meaningful change and strength, and we dispel some of the social media myths about how change happens. Cori is now accepting clients through our therapy group, and this episode gives you a chance to see how she can help you and those you love. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I describe how we can generate lasting hope despite our current life circumstances — both for ourselves and for those we love. I discuss the definition of hope and introduce 3 categories for creating substance upon which to build real hope. We dive into topics such as joy and purpose, the meaning of true worth, and how connection can help us strengthen ourselves and those around us. Give it a listen!

In this episode, Kirk interviews author and child development expert, Stefanie Hohl, about kinesthetic learning for kids of all ages, and specifically for young kids learning to read. She explains a reading program she has developed, titled “ABC See Hear Do,” and how we can apply movement in learning to a variety of positive outcomes in child development and academic growth. Kirk also discusses how parents and teachers can better meet children where they are, and help kids to find success, motivation, and self-worth through kinesthetic reading programs such as the one described in this episode. Even if your kids are in middle and high school, this episode may give some valuable insight about how to help them thrive in their academic learning. Give it a listen!

In this episode, Kirk discusses common mental health terms that are often misunderstood and misused. He defines and describes worry vs. anxiety, sadness vs. depression, OCD, Bipolar, ADHD, gaslighting, boundaries, people-pleasing, and perfectionism. And he gives solid reason for hope as we each can, through therapeutic intervention, achieve meaningful traction and healing for these aspects of our mental health. Give it a listen!

  In this episode, I discuss the concept of layered emotions, and why they matter in life and in our relationships. I explain Surface vs. Core emotional expression, what it means to become “emotionally fluent,” and how we can apply that fluency to our closest relationships. In this episode, we're digging into effective communication, empathy, and how to help others feel more seen. Give it a listen! 

In this episode, I'm joined by Stefanie Chou, whose oldest son is about to graduate high school, to discuss the art of parenting through difficult transitions. We discuss the uncomfortable emotions of transition moments, what it means to let go, and how to make room for a new relationship. We talk about the process of grief as it relates to transition, and how fostering connection can act as an anchor point in even the most turbulent moments. It's real, it's raw, and you don't want to miss this episode. Give it a listen!

In this episode, Kirk and Meg discuss what it means to be “highly emotional” in families, and, from the perspective of a teenager, how to handle it when our parents fit that description. Kirk explains 5 keys for teens (and family members) when handling a parent who is angry, sad, anxious, or overwhelmed. Meg asks Kirk the questions submitted by listeners on this topic, and Kirk offers strategies, tools, and hands-on examples to make even our complicated family relationships feel better connected. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I am joined by my 8 year old daughter, Pepper, and I ask her about her views on friendship, kindness, and managing stress. I ask her what things she wishes grownups knew about kids, how she handles disappointments and frustrations, and what things she finds to be most important to her. It's a refreshing perspective on life, from someone who is still not burdened by adult fear and guilt. Give it a listen!

In this episode, my wife Meg & I discuss common misbeliefs and successful strategies for parenting adult children. We outline the difference between secure attachment and unhealthy bonds with our adult children, discuss when to give advice—or not, and chat about common parental beliefs that often get in the way of healthy relationships with our adult kids. We also acknowledge the grieving process inherent in raising children and how to find meaning as we seek to focus on our child's becoming. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I am joined by Cori Lazarte, a therapist who helps clients who grieve. Together we discuss different ways that grief may enter our lives, what to say (and not to say) to those who are grieving, and we explain how important it is to make it ok to “not be ok,” and how it can be a part of our healing. We talk about what to do with our anger, and what part it may play in the process. Cori shares her own experience with grief and loss, and we discuss how, when those whom we love are grieving, our “persistence without expectation” can be key to helping them find their strength again. Give it a listen!

  In this episode, I explain the purpose of traditions and rituals in our families and relationships, and why they serve as a medicine for resilience in our times of struggle. I discuss how to determine when we may need to add traditions, and when we should give ourselves permission to let them go or to evolve. Whether during the holidays, or in our everyday lives, I explain how traditions have the power to strengthen what matters most to us. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I discuss why our love that we give sometimes gets brushed off, or goes unseen, or receives a lukewarm response. I explain how to help your partner feel the love you give. I describe the four rungs on the ladder of expressing love, how to access each step on that ladder, & why this effort will ultimately help us to see & be seen by those we love. You don't want to miss this one. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I explain how we can help our kids to find and keep their emotional resilience, and how to create a “Teflon” for the hardships that they face, like loss, bullying, correction, and personal life storms. I explain how building secure attachment fits into that resilience. I also discuss how to help kids (and adults) to speak fairly to themselves, and I describe how to help prepare our kids for the uphill climbs that they face. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I am joined by my wife, Meg, as we discuss what  helicopter parenting is and what it isn't. I explain the 4 commonly labeled styles of parenting, and we introduce a new parenting style that I'm excited to share with you, and which can help you focus your parenting efforts with greater meaning, and hopefully less confusion and overwhelm. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I explain why people fear and avoid addressing mental health. I explain the key questions that we can each ask ourselves so we can determine whether our state of mind warrants additional support from a therapist or physician. And I explain why there IS hope and a solid and clear path forward for healing when we do need that help. We don't have to fear and avoid “popping the hood” on our mental and emotional health. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I discuss a popular YouTube episode I heard online that describes the world trying to make men soft and weak and brainwashed with emotion and emotional sensitivity. I discuss that popular mentality, and I explain the reality of emotional intelligence. I make the case for how emotion makes men, and women, even stronger in their grit and lifestyle, if emotion is properly accessed and accurately understood. Give it a listen!

In this episode, my wife, Meg, & I talk about parenting high-emotion kids. We discuss origins of our kids' emotional outbursts, how our own reactions can calm or elevate those emotions, and the role of empathy in our parenting response. We'll dispel myths about emotion and offer hope for any parent who struggles — because we all do. Give it a listen!

In a recent study, loneliness was declared a public health epidemic. In this episode, I summarize the main points of this study and I discuss how to foster deeper connection despite ongoing feelings of loneliness. I explain why we need to heal our attachment to ourselves, how to achieve the self-clarity this requires, and why making peace with ourselves allows for greater connection with those around us. Give it a listen!

In this episode, my producer, Richie T. Steadman, joins me to ask me the questions people often want to know about what therapy is, how it works, and what to expect. I talk openly about how to choose a therapist, how to bring a reluctant loved one to therapy, when to do therapy and when NOT to do therapy, and I explain exactly how therapy helps. Therapy should feel like it's safe, and that it is worth the effort we give to it. I explain how to make that happen. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I discuss the concept of reconciliation— what it means and why it's worth it. I describe the difference between proactive and reactive responses to emotion, why reconciliation is actually a gift, and how to extend empathetic invitations to restore connection. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I discuss how depression and anxiety often may slide under our radar, in those we love, and even in ourselves, and why that happens so often. I explain the importance of emotional fluency to mental health, how to ask meaningful questions when our loved ones may be hurting, and 7 signs of anxiety and depression that we often miss in those we love. Give it a listen!

  In this episode, I'm discussing how to rebuild and repair trust that has been broken. Through several family and parenting examples with teens, I describe how these principles apply to intimate partnerships and other close relationships. I discuss common patterns of repair that ultimately backfire, and how to effect organic change and foster maturity in ourselves and our teens. Finally, I introduce keys to creating real and lasting relational security, even after trust has been broken. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I introduce a framework to effectively guide healthy goal and resolution making, no matter when we get started on our goals. I discuss 4 key framework elements that allow us to focus on process and measure true, lasting growth. Then I'll dig into the whys behind our significant need for emotional fluency in today's world. Give it a listen!

In this episode, my wife Meghan joins me as we discuss common communication struggles in long-term committed relationships. We talk openly about our own communication pitfalls, our personal relational needs, and our varying processing styles. Then we'll discuss how to harness vulnerability and why empathy is the best path for reaching meaningful solutions. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I chat about “black and white thinking,” or thinking in extremes. I discuss why we slip into patterns of polarized thought, and I give practical steps that can help us change these patterns. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I discuss why we play the comparison game, the many types of comparison we fall into, and how we can do better. I explain four underlying lies that accompany self-comparison and then give four key tools to free ourselves from its grip and feel true joy in our lives.

In this episode, my wife joins me to talk about mom guilt and how empathy helps both partners undo it. We discuss the thought patterns that can lead to spiraling, how to validate each other's struggles, and the role of empathy as we seek to help our partner feel through their overwhelm. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I discuss true productivity and how it relates to creating more meaning in our lives. I tackle cultural assumptions of what productivity is and redefine productivity as it relates to emotional health and happiness. I also give four key factors for harnessing our effort so that it pays off better and sustains us longer— allowing you to create, produce, and keep more meaning in your life. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I discuss how we can find our hope, even in the face of overwhelm and emotional strain. I mention why our emotions matter, where our power and control really lie, and how to tap into that power to realize the exceptional capacity we already have. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I'm joined again by Dr. Michael Voss as we discuss the realities and misconceptions of two often-mislabeled diagnoses: Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. We explain the core realities of both diagnoses, including origin, effective treatment strategies, and tips for family members. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I'm joined by board-certified psychiatrist Dr. Michael Voss as we talk about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: what it is and what it isn't. We discuss signs & symptoms of OCD, as well as effective medical and therapeutic treatments, and we distinguish between Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Obsessive Compulsive Personality, three conditions which are often misconstrued and/or mislabeled. When it comes to OCD, there IS hope and help available, both for those who suffer and for their loved ones. Give it a listen!

For this 100th episode, I discuss why we need to be more cautious when it comes to self-diagnosis of mental health conditions. I discuss why teenagers can be particularly susceptible to mislabeling (and why that matters), why misdiagnosis impacts our ability to empathize, and how mental health in social media can create polarized thinking patterns. As wonderful as it is that mental health issues are slowly becoming more destigmatized, it's important to proceed with caution and good information. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I discuss the experience of feeling invisible and how we can change it for ourselves and others. I explain why it's so common to feel unseen, suggest three ways in which we can help ourselves feel seen, and explain the importance of intentionally reaching out to those around us. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I chat with Dr. Ken Parnell about current research on the science of gratitude. We discuss the wide-reaching psychological benefits of gratitude, the role of gratitude in emotional & physical intimacy, and why flexibility is a pillar of psychological health. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I'm joined by Monica, as we talk about grief & her journey. We discuss the many emotional sides of grief; how to navigate life & mitigate triggers associated with grieving; what to say (& what not to say) to support loved ones who carry the weight of loss; and where to find hope, even in the darkness of grieving. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I tackle how to talk our kids through the inevitable disappointments they will face. Watching our children suffer is never easy, no matter what age they are. I discuss common survival patterns parents fall into & why these patterns backfire. Then I outline a 6-step response pattern that will not only build closeness & connection, but will allow your child to feel powerful, no matter what situation they are facing. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I discuss how to speak out about important issues without falling into the pitfalls of being reactionary. I make a distinction between being direct & being blunt, I discuss the importance of allowing for redemption in our relationships, and I explain why empathy allows us to speak truth to each other in direct ways while remaining true to our best selves. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I'm talking about relationships: with others and with ourselves. I discuss 3 tools for bringing ourselves into better focus, and then I touch on the unintended distancing we create through people-pleasing and how we can invite closer relationships with the people around us. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I discuss how exercising vulnerability can help us better manage difficult transitions we face in life. I explain the power of willful vulnerability and owning our emotional experiences, how to effectively deal with multiple stressors at once, and the importance of giving ourselves grace throughout our process. Give it a listen!

Spoiler Alert!: Despite the title, this episode applies to ALL of us as parents and connectors. In this episode, I chat with Callie about her experiences as a parent of multiple neurodiverse children. She describes the varied ways in which her children received their diagnoses, her role as a parent, and the effects of such diagnoses on her life and marriage. We discuss the importance of the long game, how to prioritize relationships over behaviors, and why self-grace is key to all kinds of parenting. Though we focus on neurodiverse and special needs parenting, Callie's insights will benefit any parent struggling to better understand and serve their children. Don't miss this one!

In this episode, I explain the waterfall metaphor as a way to frame our feelings and empower better emotional wellness. I discuss the realities of addiction & how to heal our many kinds of survivalistic coping methods, how to effectively undo emotional triggers, and why treating emotions as our allies lies at the core of any kind of long-term healing. Give it a listen!

It In this episode, I'm talking FOMO, the Fear of Missing Out, and how to utilize our time—and our summers—to our best advantage. I discuss the many consequences of a FOMO-infused culture, including varied ways in which it has affected my own life, and I outline how intentional connection can help us move past the anxious frenzy that often accompanies the FOMO trend. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I discuss how to move our lives forward in small, actionable steps that help us build and keep momentum. I chat about the importance of asking deeper questions & living by process, how to feel on purpose & get out of survival/superficial mode, and what true courage looks like. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I discuss how to explain difficult (perhaps even impossible) extended family dynamics to your kids without throwing them into the fray. I explain the difference between reactivity and proactivity, how to avoid weaponizing our emotions, and why it's so important to model emotional fluency for our kids, even in the midst of heavy feelings. Give it a listen!

In this Father's Day episode, I'm joined by Kolette Hall, Life Coach and co-author of the book, Messy Victories, to discuss her powerful story of married life and parenting with her quadriplegic husband, Jason Hall.  We chat about the book that she and her husband wrote, and she describes from her own powerful experience how each of us can live with purpose, adapt to our challenging circumstances, choose to help and be helped, and create a legacy of being the parents and people that we are meant to be.  Give it a listen!  

In this episode, I discuss how to navigate relationships that may have gone sour over time or circumstance. I make a case for dismissing our internalized guilt, I discuss the role of empathy in boundary-keeping, and I give two key questions to ask yourself when faced with communicating through strained family relationships. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I'm joined by singer/songwriter Cheri Magill to discuss letting go of destructive paradigms. We chat about undoing emotional fears, the importance of self-compassion, and how to model healthy emotional habits for our children. Give it a listen, and be sure to check out Cheri's new album, Songs from My Backpack!

In this episode, I discuss self-sabotage— what it is and how to root it out. I explain how to identify emotional triggers, the value of sitting with our emotions, and the importance of giving ourselves room to grow into healthier patterns. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I chat with Jeanne about the inherent struggles of parenting adult children. We discuss the challenges of mentoring in this phase of parenting, how to make space for the lives and choices of our adult children even when they may not reflect our long-held expectations, and the hope and empathy that comes when we just keep trying. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I discuss how to forgive those with whom we have limited or no contact. I review the staircase to forgiveness, explain how to effectively engage in empathy for long-term healing, and discuss how to take back our emotional control in healthy, meaningful ways. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I discuss gaslighting—what it is, and what we can do with it. I explain the history of the term itself, how to recognize this kind of emotional abuse in a relationship, and I give tips for restoring relational balance and emotional health. Give it a listen!