Trauma for Breakfast

Join me today as I speak with David Barko, the director of the Family Resource Center at Dignity Health – Yavapai Regional Medical Center (YRMC) in Prescott Valley, Arizona. David is an advocate for early childhood in numerous ways and has been a critical voice in moving the prenatal care team for woman with substance abuse issues forward across many barriers. We know from decades of research and studies that the first five years of life are the single greatest amount of brain growth and development.  It's the time when so much of a person's neurological and emotional foundations are literally being formed.  Children are, in every definition, filled with potential. This podcast episode dives into this critical period and also brings in some of the science of epigenetics.You won't want to miss this one!

How do you handle the loneliness and isolation that comes with foster care and adoption?Can we talk about big behaviors and how to help redefine success?And could we please all agree that adoption does not erase trauma?Today's podcast contains some humor and honest words from a foster and adopt mom, me....your host who is now sitting on the other side of the interview table.

This was such a fun two-part episode to record! During these episodes my husband Darren and I share our experiences as a man and a woman serving as foster and adopt parents. In this episode, I interview my husband Darren Gagnon about his experiences as a foster and adoptive father. Hear about his perspectives and strengths that he brought to our partnership as parents and caregivers over the past 20 years.Next week, I will share Part 2, where Darren interviews me. I hope you enjoy both perspectives as much as I do.

For young men and women aging out of foster care at age 18 the odds of becoming thriving, successful adults aren't very good. In fact, statistics show that 50 percent have no high school diploma, 60 percent have been convicted of a crime and 50 percent will be unemployed by the age of 24. The Arizona Friends of Foster Children Foundation wants to improve those odds through its Keys to Success (KTS) program. This one-of-a-kind program offers career, education, and employment development services tailored to meet the unique needs of the young men and women who are leaving the foster system.Join me as I speak with Diane Daily, the Program Director for (KTS) Keys to Success. Below you will find her words about the program - For most of us, our earliest memories are of parents and family talking to us about our interests, skills, passions, and futures; about the importance of getting an education. As parents we help our children navigate getting their first job, making sure they get to and from work, supporting their growth to become good employees. Unfortunately, most young people in the foster care system have the opposite experience. No one is providing this guidance or support and every aspect of their lives is focused on surviving today – tomorrow is unfathomable.Because of the instability in their lives, many youth in foster care have limited or a misinformed understanding of employment opportunities, and even fewer have had the support required to develop a vision for their future.  Research indicates that youth who emancipate from foster care experience poor outcomes such as homelessness, unemployment, unplanned pregnancy, low educational attainment, legal system involvement, and substance abuse. The Keys to Success (KTS) program fills this gap by providing youth with the career planning, education, and employment development services that helps them to discover their potential and a pathway to successful adulthood.KTS has been developed to be a resource to insure youth transitioning from foster care have the support and resources required to meet their potential and become thriving members of our community.

David J. Pope draws on more than forty years of experience in the addiction and mental health fields as a licensed mental health/addiction therapist in Nebraska, Iowa, and Arizona.  On today's podcast he provides you with practical tips and guidelines for better understanding trauma and addiction. You will love his approach to supporting those who are struggling and his guidance in understanding the myths of trauma.

Our children live in a time of prosperity, yet we are seeing teens experiencing high rates of anxiety and depression. Join me for part 2 with clinical psychologist, Dr Adam Dell as we discuss possible root causes and practical ways to protect our kids.

Our children live in a time of prosperity, yet we are seeing teens experiencing high rates of anxiety and depression. Join me with clinical psychologist, Dr Adam Dell as we discuss possible root causes and practical ways to protect our kids.

Join me for PART 2 with the Rapping Dad Meet Derek Clark, an international motivational speaker, 250 million views on his Rapping Dad videos and author of the critically acclaimed "I Will Never Give Up" book series and "Never Limit Your Life: From Personal to Professional".Derek Clark's life is one of resilience and redemption. As a child he suffered unthinkable child abuse, abandonment and emotional distress before being turned over to the psychiatric hospital at age five. His 13 years in the San Francisco bay area foster care system reflected an early life of humiliation, aggression, emotional distress, overwhelming anxiety and being wrongfully labeled. Eventually, with the help of foster parents and mentors he defied the artificial limitations imposed upon him.

Join me with the Rapping Dad Meet Derek Clark, an international motivational speaker, 250 million views on his Rapping Dad videos and author of the critically acclaimed "I Will Never Give Up" book series and "Never Limit Your Life: From Personal to Professional".Derek Clark's life is one of resilience and redemption. As a child he suffered unthinkable child abuse, abandonment and emotional distress before being turned over to the psychiatric hospital at age five. His 13 years in the San Francisco bay area foster care system reflected an early life of humiliation, aggression, emotional distress, overwhelming anxiety and being wrongfully labeled. Eventually, with the help of foster parents and mentors he defied the artificial limitations imposed upon him.

Join me as I spend time with Jodi Spataro speaking about childhood adversity and the keys she accessed to build resiliency.Jodi is a nonprofit industry leader with over 27 years of working and volunteering in the nonprofit sector. She is a recipient of the Woman of the Year from the Greater Elkhart Chamber and the Woman to Watch from the YWCA. She has presented nationally on fundraising and board governance topics.But best of all, Jodi has an incredible story of hope and endurance.  You will love hearing her story today.

The judge looked at her and said, "The system has failed you".This episode was not without tears. Jessica's story will move you and open your eyes to generational drug and alcohol abuse, systemic child welfare issues and the need for us to listen to the words of those who have survived their childhoods, in spite of our interventions.Jessica's story is one of the most powerful things I have ever heard. Trigger Warning - child abuse

Here is episode # 2 of Empathy versus EnablingHow do we know when we are being empathetic in our relationships with others or just enabling bad choices? Join Doug Dolan and Stacey as they discuss a concept that is universal to all relationships; the fine line between helping and hurting.

How do we know when we are being empathetic in our relationships with others or just enabling bad choices? Join Doug Dolan and Stacey as they discuss a concept that is universal to all relationships; the fine line between helping and hurting.

(Episode note - I would recommend finding a quiet space to listen to this episode. This is Pt 2, so make sure you have listened to Pt. 1 first.)This podcast episode is probably the most important episode I have recorded. By the end of Pt. 2, my producer and I were in tears. It is a profound look at caregiver fatigue and burnout that is full of application for those who are daily pouring into a bottomless hole. The work we do is costly and even the best of people are people at best. Dr. Dell helps us to look at compassion satisfaction which is found in heaps and piles when we start and its the driver and motivator in helping us have a "WHY". When we have a "WHY", then we can find the "HOW".  Dr. Adam Dell is Board Certified in Clinical Psychology and currently serves as the Director of Emotional Wellbeing at the Notre Dame Wellness Center. Dr. Dell received his Bachelor of Science in Counseling and Master of Arts degree in Interpersonal Relations at Grace College, and his Doctor of Psychology degree from Indiana State University. He accomplished a residency program at JBSA-Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio and served 6+ years as an active duty psychologist for the US Air Force including one overseas deployment. He garnered clinical experience in private practice and civilian hospital settings.Dr. Dell and his wife, Janine, were foster parents in 3 states over the past decade. Dr. Dell enjoys teaching and currently serves as an Adjunct faculty member for the graduate counseling programs at Wheaton College & Colorado State University.

This podcast episode is probably the most important episode I have recorded. By the end of Pt. 2, my producer and I were in tears. It is a profound look at caregiver fatigue and burnout that is full of application for those who are daily pouring into a bottomless hole. The work we do is costly and even the best of people are people at best. Dr. Dell helps us to look at compassion satisfaction which is found in heaps and piles when we start and its the driver and motivator in helping us have a "WHY". When we have a "WHY", then we can find the "HOW".  Dr. Adam Dell is Board Certified in Clinical Psychology and currently serves as the Director of Emotional Wellbeing at the Notre Dame Wellness Center. Dr. Dell received his Bachelor of Science in Counseling and Master of Arts degree in Interpersonal Relations at Grace College, and his Doctor of Psychology degree from Indiana State University. He accomplished a residency program at JBSA-Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio and served 6+ years as an active duty psychologist for the US Air Force including one overseas deployment. He garnered clinical experience in private practice and civilian hospital settings.Dr. Dell and his wife, Janine, were foster parents in 3 states over the past decade. Dr. Dell enjoys teaching and currently serves as an Adjunct faculty member for the graduate counseling programs at Wheaton College & Colorado State University.

Listen in as the Zielaskos talk about the "guts" of adoption. Married for almost 21 years with 5 children ages 10-16, the Zielaskos are well versed in the field of adoption and trauma. Tyler is a mental health counselor and part owner of the Human Wellness Collective, while Kari is an administrator in Student Affairs at Grace College.  The three of us talk about the guts of adoption and the things that we wish we had better understood.

Listen in as the Zielaskos talk about the "guts" of adoption. Married for almost 21 years with 5 children ages 10-16, the Zielaskos are well versed in the field of adoption and trauma. Tyler is a mental health counselor and part owner of the Human Wellness Collective, while Kari is an administrator in Student Affairs at Grace College.  The three of us talk about the guts of adoption and the things that we wish we had better understood.  

 "Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood." - Mr RogersJoin me as I speak about play and learning with Jonna Watson. As a school psychologist and a mother, Jonna is a play expert. Today she will help us take some time to understand the power of play and how we can incorporate that into our daily lives.

You won't want to miss this story. Amy struggled with substance-use disorder for years. It culminated into Department of Child Services stepping in to remove her children. Her story is one of hitting rock bottom and finding freedom from her past and her pain.

Join me as I discuss the new face of Child Trafficking with Captain Tom Boelts. We unpack how technology has played a role in changing how our children are targeted. This podcast will give you information on how to keep your kids safe from those who are looking to target your child.Tom Boelts is a Captain with the Yavapai County Sheriff's Office in the Law Enforcement Services Division.  Captain Boelts has served his community for over 25 years. He has presented around Arizona and the country on missing and exploited child cases as well as Human Trafficking enforcement.

Join me as I speak to a Sheriff in Arizona who is trauma-informed and pushing out programs that truly help. You do not want to miss this truly informative podcast on how a county is dealing with substance-use disorder in a different way.

Even when we finish the interview, our producer keeps the tape rolling. This producer's outtake with Doug Dolan is excellent information for those who are dealing with addiction and treatment.What are barriers to recovery?What does effective treatment look like?What do I look for in a treatment center?

This episode is a must-listen. Join me as I talk to Doug Dolan, COO of Recovery in the Pines.Doug began his own recovery walk on April 19, 1997. He has experienced many life-defining moments, including the passing of his brother, Andy, to an overdose, the loss of his close, childhood friend, Craig, to a suicide, to extreme financial highs and lows, almost losing his wife, Donna, to significant health issues, and significant marital strains.He intimately understands the personal despair, hopelessness and destruction experienced by active alcoholics and addicts and their loved ones. 

Tara Sundem, RN, NNP-BC, MS, used to think the best place for babies going through withdrawal was not with their parents. Sundem admits that she, like many of her colleagues, used to judge parents when newborns in her neonatal ICU were going through withdrawal.The journey started when Sundem was working in a hospital NICU and noticed growing numbers of babies in withdrawal. The opioid epidemic was affecting the most vulnerable at an alarming rate.Centers for Disease Control reports that there were an estimated 100,306 drug overdose deaths in the United States  in 2021. Prenatal maternal drug-use has increased considerably in recent years. This increase has contributed to a significant rise in the rate of Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome (NAS), a collection of symptoms in newborns exposed to any of a variety of substances in utero, including opioids.Babies born with NAS (neonatal abstinence syndrome), require a complex and painful detoxification process in the days following birth. Nationwide, neonatal abstinence syndrome diagnoses have increased 235% since 2008.When Tara read the data, it changed her thinking from ‘We have to save the babies,' to ‘We have to save the families.”Join Tara and Michael White as they talk about their upstream approach to family preservation.

You will not want to miss this episode. Join three moms who talk about all-the-things parenting and working with teens. Between the three of us, we are parenting 21 children, have lots of letters behind our names and countless years of experience navigating the hardest and best job in the world...PARENTING. This podcast episode is a must for every parent and professional working with teens.

From foster care, abuse, and homelessness, Gaelin's adverse childhood communicated that he wasn't worthy of belonging.This belief greatly impacted how he navigated life and relationships. Namely, running away from anything that required vulnerability.It's one thing to “not belong.” It's entirely different to believe that you are unworthy and incapable of belonging.Gaelin believes that this gap in belonging isn't a burden that any youth should carry alone. It only cements the harmful beliefs they already have. Instead it should be shouldered by the caring and knowledgeable adults in their lives.On today's podcast, Gaelin  speaks of his journey from forgotten foster youth to a champion of belonging.

From foster care, abuse, and homelessness, Gaelin's adverse childhood communicated that he wasn't worthy of belonging.This belief greatly impacted how he navigated life and relationships. Namely, running away from anything that required vulnerability.It's one thing to “not belong.” It's entirely different to believe that you are unworthy and incapable of belonging.Gaelin believes that this gap in belonging isn't a burden that any youth should carry alone. It only cements the harmful beliefs they already have. Instead it should be shouldered by the caring and knowledgeable adults in their lives.On today's podcast, Gaelin will speak of his journey from forgotten foster youth to a champion of belonging.

Join us for Pt 2. 'The Truth about FASD' as I continue a converstion with Jeff Noble.

Let's have a fun conversation about a hard topic! Join Stacey Gagnon and Jeff Noble as they talk about FASD.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to pack up all your belongings in a trash bag and get dropped off at a new home? A real, raw story of Shen-Quia; a young girl who spent most of her childhood moved from foster home to foster home in Chicago. This podcast episode talks about hard luck, tough love and innocence lost. Listen in as Shen-Quia recounts her childhood perspective walking into a new foster home, meeting her adoptive mom and being ultimately cared for by her church family. As the host, I laughed, I cried and the interview stayed with me long after we stopped talking. You do not want to miss this beautiful and courageous episode. 

Foster care and adoption is a whole other animal when it comes to grieving. It's built on loss. A child has lost everything they've known and so you have a child coming in your home who is grieving. One of the hardest jobs for a foster or adopt parent is to sit with this loss; to help carry the hurt and grief. To resist the urge to sweep it aside and claim, “they won't remember”.  While at the same time you are attending to your own grief, because even though you signed up for this, you won't just forget either.Join us as we talk about "good grief" with Jamie Briscoe.

We are talking about grief on Pt 1 of 'Good Grief' with Jamie Briscoe. Listen in as we discuss -- the ball of grief- how to respond when friends are in crisis- what does grief look like post-adoption, post cancer diagnosis, post death of a loved one? - how do we accept and embrace grief as a human experience?Show resources mentioned - How to Respond to People in Crisis: Comfort In; Dump Out | Psychology Todayhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/laugh-cry-live/201809/how-respond-people-in-crisis-comfort-in-dump-outhttps://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/laugh-cry-live/201809/how-respond-people-in-crisis-comfort-in-dump-out%3fampMindfulness or a self-check-in.  https://positivepsychology.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Meditation-for-Radical-Acceptance.pdfRadical Acceptance -Radical Acceptance- Current circumstance that causes a lot of painWe heap SUFFERING on top of our painful experience when we refuse to acknowledge and accept this current situation.Accept what is- acknowledge realityWhat can I control/not control?Non Judgemental look at situationStop resisiting realityLive in present moment DESPITE pain!Nurture- routine, rest, soften, ease, hydrate, comfortRadical Acceptance questions to process:Realities I am refusing to accept:Behaviors I choose when I refuse to accept current reality:How I experience suffering when I refuse current reality:Resistance I feel in my body when I refuse to accept current reality:(release tension in stomach, back, neck; allow tension to soften, send deep breath to that place of tension and allow the release of the breath to send out the tension)

DISCLAIMER - This podcast is raw and unfiltered.  Listener discretion is advised. Please note that this episode contains discussions of childhood trauma behaviors that some people may find disturbing or triggering. Bryan Post answers the questions submitted from the Lost Sparrows Trauma Conference (lsconference.org) attendees. These questions were submitted by parents and teachers who are parenting difficult behaviors and through difficult circumstances.Here are a few of the questions Bryan Post will address in this jam packed podcast for desparate parents - How do I know when my child is manipulating me? When a child is raging and tearing apart a room  what do I do? It's not fair to the other kids.My kids won't stop lying, how do I stop this?I hope you learn as much as I did from his responses.

In this episode, we talk about technology, social media and adolescent brain development. As parents, we are navigating a digital world that is pursuing our children. Technology can be good, but it can also cause harm. As more and more children are given access to smart phones, we are seeing an increase in mental health issues, sleep problems, and learning delays.Join my husband and I as we discuss brave parenting in a technological world. 

"If you are going to be effective in changing people's lives, you've got to include the family."Today's podcast will be with Jonathon Wattley, the CEO of Building a Stronger Family. Jonathon created Building a Stronger Family after his 15 year-old granddaughter's tragic suicide. This painful event shed light on the dynamics of his family and how much under the surface they did not know.Join us as we talk about generational trauma and how we can become the best version of ourselves.

During this podcast episode, we continue our conversation with  Dr. Adam Seinz. We will be taking a look at the frequency, duration and intensity of behaviors that are increasing in our students. Adam identifies the crisis we are seeing in mental health and speaks to teachers on how to create career sustainability and avoid burnout. "You don't have to be a throracic surgeon to perform CPR and save a life. You don't have to be a licensed psychologist or licensed counselor to administer basic mental health first aid to your student.The first goal is not to change the student. The goal is how do I understand and regulate myself.  Because once I'm self-aware of my stressors and regulating them, once I'm aware of my emotions and regulating them, once I'm aware of my personality and regulating them...then I'm centered. I can actually become a secure-emotional base for all the kids in my classroom and I'm sustainable."

One of the most loving things we can do for those depending on us is to offer them the best version of ourselves. We become better leaders, better teammates, better colleagues, better spouses, better parents, better neighbors. We live from a place of power, a place of love (for ourselves and one another), and a place of effective decision-making.Join me as I hear about the keys to parenting well with Dr. Adam Saenz.  Adam is the author of the best selling book, The Power of a Teacher, and his education blog has been featured on the front page of the Huffington Post. He also authored Relationships That Work with Jeremy Dew, L.P.C, a colleague in his clinical practice. Adam is also the developer of the Educator Assesment of Social and Emotional Learning (EASEL), a measure of personality and emotional intelligence that is central to the work and curriculum associated with his book The EQ Intervention. 

Join us as we talk about the 'thing' we don't talk about. Today's podcast is about the impact of porn exposure on children and teens.Kristy Saul joins us to answer what we as parents and caregivers need to know about current pornography trends, and what to do if you discover your child has viewed, or regularly views pornography. As the world moves to virtual platforms, and technology pervades every aspect of our lives, we need to stay up to date with electronics and their impact on our children from hard places.

Tanya was a meth user for 34 years. She has been to prison and lived a life touched by substance abuse and pain. Tanya's children have been in the child welfare system three times and were then removed to be raised by extended family. But if you met Tanya today, you would see a professional woman who now runs two sober living homes and has been a mentor and advocate for many women. Tanya tells a story of struggle, pain and hope.I struggled with "not being enough", and today I want to tell women that "You are enough". -TanyaFollow the story of Tanya and how she brings hope in hard places through the Yavapai Reentry Project. 

As teachers, you are up close and personal with children who have experienced traumatic life events. You might not hear about the drug bust, or the domestic violence, or the abuse that happened last night, but you will see it in your classroom.Join Steve King, COCSD Superintendent, as he talks about the moment he truly understood the effects of childhood trauma on his classroom. And then hear about how he is leading the charge in his school district to support his students using Dr Bruce Perry's Neurosequential Model.  

Do you feel like you're losing your mind parenting? Is the lying, the fighting, the apathy, the cheating, the destruction causing you to question your ability to parent, and your child's ability to..........well, child. Bryan Post talks us through these behaviors and the stress found during this time. Don't miss this podcast full of tips and advice for parenting pandemic. 

This is the must-hear podcast for the why, when, and the what-the-heck-was-I-thinking parenting the first year home. Whether fostering or adopting, you won't want to miss the advice, humor, and crazy antics of Christy Irons. We will discuss how to prepare your environment to support love and security, how to change parenting expectations, and how to navigate holidays and family traditions. Christy Irons sense of humor and true to life stories will make you laugh out loud. 

Joining me today is Gina Courtois, a 20-year veteran teacher who has specialized in understanding how trauma affects the brain and what this looks like in the classroom. She is a mother of 6 children and works as the Social-Emotional Learning Coordinator for a large school district,Gina shares all about the perspective of an adoptee on adoption and how ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) affect family dynamics. You won't want to miss this beautiful story of grief and hope. 

Join Melissa Corkum and me at the table, as we discuss some of the hard found within her adoption journey. Melissa talks about blocked care, attachment, and her personal road of relinquishing control of her children's behaviors. Melissa has read all the books, gone to all the trainings, and gotten certified as a life coach Empowered to Connect parent trainer and Enneagram coach. She has helped dozens of parents shift to a brain-based view of behaviors so they can find more effective solutions to parenting with connection.