Podcast appearances and mentions of Bruce Perry

In this solo episode of Perfect Prey, Dr. Christine Cocchiola explores the connection between coercive control, childhood trauma, attachment, and the growing number of children being diagnosed with ADHD and other behavioral disorders. Dr. Cocchiola challenges listeners to consider a critical question: what if many of the behaviors we label as “problematic” are actually trauma responses? What if children living within coercively controlling family systems are being misunderstood rather than truly seen?Drawing from the work of Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, Dr. Gabor Maté, Dr. Bruce Perry, and betrayal trauma theory, this episode examines how trauma can manifest as fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses in children — and how coercive control fractures attachment, identity, safety, and regulation. Dr. Cocchiola also discusses how predatory parents weaponize children, how attachment is intentionally disrupted, and why protective parents play such a critical role in healing and rebuilding safety for their children.What we coverThis episode is essential listening for protective parents, clinicians, educators, advocates, and anyone trying to better understand trauma, child behavior, and coercive control.How trauma can mimic ADHD symptomsFight, flight, freeze, and fawn trauma responses in childrenCoercive control within family systemsHow predatory parents fracture attachment intentionallyWhy dysregulated children are often misunderstoodAttachment, authenticity, and child developmentTrauma, dissociation, and emotional regulationThe impact of coercive control on school performance and behaviorWhy children exposed to abuse may appear oppositional or disengagedProtective parenting and reigniting attachmentBroken attachment, broken safety, and “broken brain”How systems often pathologize traumatized children instead of protecting themWhy listenIf you are raising a child impacted by coercive control, navigating post-separation abuse, or working professionally with children and families, this episode offers a trauma-informed framework for understanding behavior through the lens of attachment and survival.Dr. Cocchiola invites listeners to shift away from asking “What's wrong with this child?” and instead ask: “What happened to this child?” Connect with Dr. Christine:Protective Parenting Program: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/Dr. C's Community: https://go.drcocchiola.com/innercirclecommunityOfficial site: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videosTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrolInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/TEDxTalks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24sBooks:https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBookhttps://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDayIf this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who may need this conversation, subscribe to Perfect Prey, and leave a review — it helps other survivors and protective parents find support and validation.

In Part 1 of her Listening to Yourself series, Lesley Logan unpacks what intuition actually is and why so many of us struggle to hear it. Drawing on personal stories and current research, she explores how subconscious pattern recognition, past experiences, and inner calm shape the way our gut speaks to us. She also names the noise that drowns it out: fear, trauma, social pressure, and over-reliance on logic. This episode is a grounded reset for anyone who's lost trust in their inner voice. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:What intuition actually is, and the science of subconscious pattern recognition.The reason a gut feeling can seem illogical now but make sense later.Three books that explain fear, trauma, and your inner voice.Ways fear, anxiety, and past trauma quietly disguise themselves as intuition.The difference between calm intuition and loud, urgent fear.Episode References/Links:Quora: Why Is It So Hard to Trust Intuition - https://share.google/xCow6Q7yTdKUQMPkoMedium: What Intuition Really Is and Isn't - https://share.google/DBWNMS5g6vafDOAejIPC: What Exactly Is Intuition - https://share.google/eH2S0zlOENreq2AsVPsychology Today - https://share.google/gDyxkjMpOgu31QO75The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker - https://a.co/d/03NEtJNIWhat Happened to You by Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey - https://a.co/d/0aOdhLkoGetting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix - https://a.co/d/07Ct9mnJCatch and Kill by Ronan Farrow - https://a.co/d/0aEu2NNzMoonBrew - https://moonbrew.co/lesleylogan20Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! 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DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  Trusting your intuition is difficult because it's easily confused with fear, anxiety or past trauma, rather than a purely rational guide. It is built on learned experience and subconscious pattern recognition, meaning it can be biased or inaccurate. New situations, additionally high stress, societal pressure and logical over-analytical thinking, often drown out inner quiet knowing. Lesley Logan 0:19  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:01  All right, Be It babe. Hi. We're gonna have a really fun series for you, two episodes. I know, isn't it fun? I certainly hope so. So if you're new to the Be It pod. Normally, in the past, we always had an interview on Tuesdays and a recap on Thursdays. And after five years of doing that, I talked to so many people, I've had so many requests on topics that sometimes it's hard just find a guest who wants to talk about that for like, 20 minutes, right? And so I thought it'd be fun to take some of the topics that you guys have been requesting and then do some deep dive research myself, share them with you, and then we can have other guests come on after that that kind of dovetail into that topic. And so we have a great episode coming out next week, that's all about listening to your body and what it's telling you and healing yourself. And so that led me to going, like, can everyone listen to their intuition? Like, do we all have it? Is it easy to listen to yourself? And so I don't know, let's, let's talk about it, right? I think, as someone who's an Aquarius, who's in her head all the time, I was like, is it, is talking to myself as an Aquarius with ADHD in my head all the time, the same as intuition? And the more I thought about it, the more I realized, like, I don't think so. I think that's just like self-talk. But what we'll see, what the research says in just a second. But I will also say, like, I can think of certain times where, like, there was a very clear voice that came through in my life about what I should be doing next. And I remember going, that is such a weird thing to hear or say or think, and so that's why I feel like it's not the same as, like just talking to yourself. I think there's like a clear voice that cuts through and it's like, hey, hold on. Pay attention to this. I'll tell you a couple of them. Lesley Logan 2:38  One, the voice that I heard in my head when I was in a Pilates class, and this had been in 2007, I did Pilates for a couple of years at that point, and I was, like, it was probably around April or May of 2007 and because I moved into a couple months later. So actually, no, in my mind it must have beenJune, because I, like, was such a quick turnaround, like 30 days. So it must have been June. So I was in a Pilates class, and I heard my voice go, I don't like living here, in the Pilates class, I don't like living here. And I remember going, what a weird thing to say because the truth is, like, consciously, I love living where I live. I live by the beach. Who wouldn't wnat to do that? I've been living by the beach for almost seven years. At that point, like the one of the luckiest people, I had the greatest job. And so for me to say I don't like living here, was kind of like a big thought to have, and that that thought later that day, when I went to work and I picked up the phone and somebody was like, hey, Lesley. She had my same job at a different location in L.A. in Santa Monica, so it was also by the beach. And she said, hey Lesley, she's like, I put my two-week notice in, and it was like, my my mind was like, remember the thing that I heard, and my mind goes, oh, I'm gonna put in for your I'm gonna put in transfer for your job, right? And so then I so that was one moment where, like, the intuition was just so clear for me, for like, what I need to do and how I need to change my life. Another time that I can share with you about, like, listening to my intuition is one of my clients. So two, two parts. So in December of 2019, Brad and I were in Vegas, kicking off our very first tour ever. And we were at Vesta Coffee Shop. It's on Casino Center Drive, shout out to our neighbors, and I've never been there. We're waiting for our pop up to start. And we were having coffee, and Brad goes, I could live here. Said that, right? And I looked around, and I was like, I know it feels like the weird side of Melrose, like the place in town, like we've always want to kind of live at and we didn't have it, and it didn't even feel weird to even think because we loved L.A. So like, it's kind of just a little weird that, like he would say that, and I'm like, we love L.A. So like, why would I go, yeah, you know? And so then I gathered some information. Later that day, I asked my brother, like, do people live here who don't like work in the industry here? And he's like, oh, yeah, you know. And so put that aside. Like Brad said that thing, I had this feeling like, oh. And I got some more information. Then, two weeks after shutdowns and Covid, so we're in April, one of my clients said, hey, this company I work for is going to be working remote until June of 2021, so I think you should break your lease, cancel it, put yourself in storage like you know. And my immediate thought when she said that, my brain was like, space is going to become a commodity. Brad and I need to move to Vegas now, right? And so that was just like this intuition moment that I could then take action on and then, and on June 1st we moved. So I think that, like, it really does require a little bit of information and then trust in your gut, but that's what I think. I'd love to know what you think, and here's what the research says. So let's see if we think I'm spot on, or if you agree with me or agree with the research. Lesley Logan 5:40  So I have two things for today's episode. Today's episode is like, what is intuition? And then also, why is it difficult for us to hear or trust our intuition? Thursday's episode is going to be on tools to actually hear your intuition better. Okay? So that's the breakdown of our lineup. So, and then the sources for this information are always gonna be in our show notes. So, what is intuition? Intuition isn't magic or fantasy. Intuition is the ability to acquire knowledge or understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning or analytical thought, often described as a gut feeling. It acts as an inner voice that processes information, past experiences and pattern recognition on a subconscious level to guide decisions. So you can see from my two examples, like I had to have information. You know, like I I had been living in the place where I've been living for a while, and I've been doing Pilates, and then I had this thought, and then when I went to this to the next part of my day, I got more information. It was like, I can act on that gut feeling, right? Brad and I liked Vegas. Thought about moving here in two or three years, so in 2022 or 2023 and then again, got some information, and my gut feeling is like, oh, I can take action on that. So it's just, it's, it's kind of like the same thing that people could say that luck is the intersection of preparation meets opportunity. I do think that the more I read about this intuition stuff, it's like you have a connection to your thoughts, and then you get, it meets opportunity and information, and then the two connect together and for you to take an action on that, no one else would see, because they're not in you, and they don't, they have different thoughts that get the same information, so it's gonna have a different reaction, right? So key aspects of intuition, there's a subconscious processing. It's not magical, but rather the brain's rapid, automatic analysis of previous experiences, of stored knowledge. So your brain is as a fiel cabinet, and it's got the stuff going on, and then all of a sudden it's a rapid automatic like looking through the files and going, boom, hold on, what? Check this out. Listen to this. Right? Lesley Logan 7:32  Pattern recognition. It functions the mental shortcut, helping individuals recognize patterns in complex situations. One of the things that I joke about, and I feel like several of you listeners have agreed that you have the same thing is like when the shoe drops, I have such clarity of the next thing to go, like the next thing to do, right? So, for example, we were on a plane coming home from Cambodia on March 14th 2020, and I already knew L.A. had shut down. We had heard that the day before, and so we had sent our dog walker to a grocery store, like I just sent her a bunch of money. I was like, please get any groceries you can. Good luck. Stay safe, right? And we're on this plane, and I'm getting all these emails of all these people who are trying to cancel contracts I have for the year. And I told Brad, I said, the Pilates industry does not know how to teach online, and every single person has to go online yesterday, so when I get home, I'm going to teach the people who are in our Profitable Pilates agency membership, how to teach online, I'm going to to do that tomorrow. So I like set it up. I told everyone at this time, at this day, it's your part of your membership. I'm teaching you. And then I had a public one that I charge for for five days later. So I knew based on just how much of my life experience as a teacher that was teaching online, and then so I knew what I had been doing, but most people are not trained to do that, and so it was this like mental shortcut that I was able to go, this is a complex situation. Hold on. I know how to teach this. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna let it go. I'm gonna do it right now. It's like, it was this like urge that I had to get it done. I'm really proud of what we did and how we saved so many people's businesses because of that quick mental shortcut. Pattern Recognition, right? Lesley Logan 9:07  Speed and emotion, intuitive thoughts often appear quickly in consciousness accompanied by an emotional or physical sensation. Right? Speed and emotion, intuitive thoughts often appear quickly in consciousness accompanied by an emotion or physical sensation. Bridge between mind and logic. It bridges the gap between the conscious and unconscious mind operating beneath layers of logic. And I think that is really important, because I believe that in hindsight, we can see how logical some of these gut instincts, intuition moments are, but in the actual moment it it seems illogical if you were to tell people, like, when I came home and told Brad, I was like, space is gonna be a commodity, we need to buy a house right now. Luckily he just, like, had been on board with my crazy thoughts already, but a lot of people were like, you shouldn't be spending any money right now. There's so much uncertain. Like, the logical part would be like, don't buy a house right now, right? So it really does bridge the gap between these two. Lesley Logan 10:00  How it works. Intuition relies on tacit knowledge, which information, which is information gathered over time that is not consciously recalled. It's particularly effective in situations where quick, high stake decisions are required, such as detecting danger, assessing a person's trustworthiness. While powerful, it can be influenced by biases such as past negative experiences. That's important, your intuition can be a little flawed based on your past experience. Experiences, so it's always important that you are growing and learning. Because there's two books I want to that my brain just recalled that I feel like, oh my gosh, we have to talk about these right now. One of these books is called The Gift of Fear. It's by Gavin de Becker, and the book when I read it, so I will say I've read it with a diff in a different place in my life, but when I read It, there's an interesting part about how your gut will tell you, like something, like instinct about something, but then logic will tell you something completely different. And so then you'll lean on logic when your gut instinct was to, like, not trust the person, or not trust the thing. Now with that said, if you have a past experience in the subconscious that can actually affect you reading your intuition a little incorrectly, let me explain that there's. Oh the other book. Here we go. So there's the book What Happened to You, and that is with a great doctor and Oprah, and it talks about how your brain is developing. So as a child, if someone had a special scent or smell or voice or something like that, it will attribute that scent or smell or voice response to some and let's say that person was a negative person in your life, it will attribute that. So if you smell that your your gut instinct might be to feel fear and unsafe when that person has nothing to do with that, and that's in the present moment that has nothing to do with that. And but you're you're you're misreading based on your past experience. So you do want to make sure that you're you, if you have any of any traumas in your life, that you're not necessarily using that trauma to cast a judgment on somebody else you don't know. But so definitely, The Gift of Fear, read What Happened to You, if that's some if you have anything like that, if you smell something and it instantly makes you want to go, oh my god, I gotta leave this place. I would definitely explore that so you can retrain that, because it could be a shitty person. But if it's not, we don't want your intuition to lead to the wrong way. Okay, the third book, I didn't finish this book, I will say, and I have no idea if this author ages well in life, and we're not going to go down that road, but, but in it's called Getting the Love You Want. And I had a lot of parents who were couples read it, and they were a really in problematic relationships. So I don't know why I took the recommendation, but I was in a different relationship, and I was like, okay, I want to read this with you. And of course, big red flag, they did not want to read it with me. But one of the things about in the first chapter of this book, which is, like, the most important part that kind of goes with what I was just talking about in What Happened to You is that when we get into relationships, we fill all of our holes up, right holes with an H, and we fill all of our holes up, and then we project the person that we're with filled those holes up, but we actually just did it ourselves. And then when the relationship is no longer new, and we are tired of filling our holes, we stop doing that, and then we blame the other person for change. Person for changing when really we were the ones that were doing that. But in that book, it talks about how oftentimes we cast judgments on people based on subconscious thoughts from early childhood with different people in our family. So we either trust someone because they seem like their energy, seems like your grandmother, who you loved, or they seem like your your stepfather, who you didn't, right? So, so definitely worth if you have, if you're having a hard time trusting yourself, or you are, you feel like you might be misinterpreting based on past experiences, you might want to check those things out. Or, instead of reading the books, just go get some great, wonderful help. Lesley Logan 13:45  Okay, so back to this, how it works. Remember, I'll just repeat myself. Intuition relies on tacit knowledge, which is information gathered over time that is not consciously recalled. It's particularly effective in situations where quick, high stakes decisions are required, such as detecting danger or assessing a person's trustworthiness. While powerful, it can be influenced by biases such as negative past experiences. So definitely, I agree, like I think that intuition isn't something that's like happening all day long, all the time, although it could be, I guess. But for the most of us, we're really like relying on it and like paying attention to it in times of need, when we have to make a quick decision, and that's almost like you get a little more clarity, right, like the mind chatter does stop, so you can actually hear what's important. So we have some examples. So if a soldier or police officer is sensing danger in a seemingly safe environment, though that could be like, where your intuition is like, ooh. Like, why do I feel weird in this place? It's so perfectly wonderful interpersonal feeling an immediate sense of unease or trust regarding a new person, right? You go to a family event, someone brings a friend, and you're like, I do not like this person. I will say, okay, I remember in high school, I always watched Good Morning America. My mom would always find The Today Show, and I was like that, Matt Lauer guy is weird. There's just something about that. Matt Lauer guy I do not like, and she's like, Lesley, you don't even know him. He is a reporter, and I am not. I could not stand the sound of his voice. So then, when I read Ronan Farrow's book, I was like, fucking knew it. I knew it. I knew it, right? Like it's so, so I will say sometimes it's like, it feels illogical to other people, but you might have an immediate sense of unease or trust regarding a new person. And then skill-based, an expert making a split correct decision in a fast paced game or in a professional setting based on deep experiences. You've seen this in the movies, right? You've even done this, right? So this is, as a Pilates instructor, something I try to teach other Pilates instructors is, like, it takes time for your gut to be like, they need this exercise over here, but it doesn't come if you're talking all the time, right? If you constantly are counting for clients, and you're constantly talking the whole time, you can't actually be present enough to see if, like, what's going on, and then you can't hear the intuition saying, I think they should go to this exercise over here. I'll never forget the time that I was watching Jay Grimes teach, and I said, oh, why did you give him that exercise? He was like, I don't know. My gut just said he needed it, right? Like, that's the that's a skill-based one. That's the one I pride myself in having. Lesley Logan 16:00  Okay, so now let's actually talk about why trusting your intuition can be difficult, like why it might be hard to hear when your intuition is talking to you. So trusting your intuition is difficult because it's easily confused with fear, anxiety or past trauma, rather than a purely rational guide. It is built on learned experience and subconscious pattern recognition. Meaning it can be biased or inaccurate new situations. Additionally, high stress, societal pressure, and logical over analytical thinking often drown out inner quiet knowing. So I'll just say, like, I think sometimes we can't hear it because we don't want to, because we know the answer is probably something that's we're doing that's different, you know, like that past person I was with who didn't really read the book. I remember being on the 101 freeway, and I remember thinking, gosh, I wish he would just break up with me. Right? My thought wasn't like, oh, I should break up with him. It would say, would you just break up with me? And then I was like, oh, my god, and I'd have to move and I have to do these things. And like, he's not a bad guy, and, like, on paper, he wasn't. So like, it's really interesting how we can, like, have intuitive thoughts and then, like, because they don't make sense in logic, we kind of, like talk ourselves out of it. Also say, I remember having, I remember this distinct moment where my brain was like, you should just make a left here. And I was like, why would I make a left here, and instead I made a left, where I always make a left, and I was in a head on collision. So, you know, I don't know why I thought that, but I, like, literally, wasn't listening at that time in my life. And so I think it can be, depending on what's going on in your life, it can be hard to listen to those things, or you might not. You might have a series of time of just actually not trusting yourself and the decisions you made. And so then you when your inner intuition is telling you something you haven't you don't have trust there, right? And so I feel that I see that. Lesley Logan 17:46  So here are some other main reasons why it's hard to trust your intuition, confusion with fear and trauma, what feels like a gut feeling is often an emotional reaction based on past trauma, fear or anxiety causing you to overreact. Anxiety often masquerades as intuition, especially when facing new or challenging but harmless situation. So again, I do think if you know that certain things cause you some anxiety or fear, it is absolutely worth go and exploring that with someone who with a professional because what I don't want you to do, and what you take from this episode is that, oh, when I have fear anxiety, it's like, not real, and I should just listen to my intuition that is like, that's not what I want. I actually want you to get some clear, urgent support, so that you can recognize the difference between anxiety and intuition, right? Context dependency. Intuition relies on learned patterns of the past. If you're in a new or unfamiliar situation, your gut may not have the necessary experience to provide accurate guidance, making it unreliable in, for example, on modern, complex scenarios compared to simple, repetitive ones. So like, I think this is where you can if you are in a new situation, a new job, a new totally different thing, maybe, like, you're supposed to fly into JFK, and you end up flying into some other place, and now you're like, it's gonna be really difficult to hear your gut, because your your your intuition, because your brain doesn't have a file for that place, and so it's, it's almost like a lot of noise, right? So then I would just say, like, don't judge yourself for not being able to hear yourself. Your brain is trying to take in the information it needs before it can even pipe in with some intuition. Logical over analysis. The logical sensor in our brain often dominates decision making, dismissing subtle nonverbal or non logical cues. So if you read The Gift of Fear, he talks about how like he was in a restaurant and it smelled like the smell, smelled like Italian. And he was like, oh, Italian. And he's looking at like the name of the restaurant, and it's Italian. But the pictures everywhere are not Italian restaurant pictures. They're they're quite very they're quite different, right? And so his, he knew he like lot, like his intuition, like, Oh my god, look at this. It's onna be a great Italian meal. But then the logic around him was showing that it wasn't Italian. So he's like, oh maybe it's not Italian, so maybe it's it's whatever he thought it was, and I should order this x, y or z, then the menu came as it was fucking Italian, right? So it's really easy for us to talk ourselves out of what we're actually hearing by using logic. And logic can, logic is there for a reason. I'm not bad mouthing it, but sometimes it can lead you astray, and because your gut had is actually picking up on the subtler things that are, that are actually what's going on. Mental noise and stress. High levels of stress, depression or being a state of shock, can distort or block intuitive signals. So you're stressed out right now, my love like, that's why you're not hearing it right. You're not hearing your intuition because you're in a high stress space. So it's not like a meditation a day is going to solve that problem. You might have to do and make other changes, but be kind to yourself. It's gonna be harder to hear. Got a lot going on. Prior failures, past mistakes can make you lose confidence in your own judgment. And I think this is where we have to be really kind to ourselves, because I always believe we fail forward. I really do believe that like making like if you think you made, in air quotes, a bad decision based on something you thought your intuition, and it led you to door number three. Well, my thing is that, you know, if you didn't die, then door number three is not a bad door it's an experience you need to have. Your brain would actually have more information to make better decisions in the future. And so actually, maybe you're supposed to go through door number three, and your intuition was spot on, right? Like, I will absolutely say, like I would not be here talking to you today had I not gone and taken that first Pilates class when my logic noise was saying, do not do that, right? I would not be here today if I had relied on my past failures. Of like, the first time we did Agency, nobody bought it. But now Agency is, like, eight years old and has helped 1000s of businesses. So I would just say like you're gonna fail in life. It doesn't mean you can't trust yourself. It means you had to learn something so that you can have even greater information and success in the future. But just be kind to yourself. Social pressure, the desire to conform to social norms, where fear of judgment can override your internal signals. I think this is really huge. I will tell you right now, my gut was spot on with all my exes, every single one, but especially my last one. I remember my gut was like, this is I think we should let this one go. And people at my job were like, oh my god, he sent flowers. Oh my god, he picked you up for a date. Oh my god, he did these things. And so then I stopped listening to my gut ended up in a five fucking year long relationship. Right when I can tell you right now, within 48 hours, my gut was like, should move on from this. You know. Anyways, that happens, though, because societal pressure and norms can, like, really change your decisions on, on what you're doing, and make you not listen to yourself. Self-sabotage, sometimes self sabotaging behavior disguise itself is the gut feeling to keep you in a comfortable, familiar, but limiting state. So what I will say is, I have many people saying, oh, gosh, I had this obstacle, which means I'm probably not supposed to be doing the thing that I'm doing. And I would say, like, actually, is that it's saying, or is it saying, like, hey, how bad do you want this? Are you going to work a little harder for it? Right? You know what I mean? Like, I think, like, first of all, I think too many people think that things are going to come like, easy for you, just because you have this great idea that it's just going to be easy to do. Nothing is easy to do. We're working on two major projects right now that scare the fuck out of me, if I'm completely honest. And every time I think maybe we shouldn't do it, my gut's like, oh, you're doing it like you you're supposed to do it. Like, talk about, like, that gut instinct where, like, there's that emotional and physical feeling we talked about earlier in the episode. Like, every time I think I'm not going to do it, I actually feel uneasy. And when I think, like, well, I am going to do it. It's like, yeah, because that makes the most sense. So I would just say that, like, it's easy to self-sabotage and stop yourself and call it intuition, because you're feeling an obstacle, but that's not necessarily what's happening. And how do you know if it's self-sabotage or actually a gut intuition? I think you'll have to actually just look back at your past behaviors. Are you doing something you've done in the past? Oh, something's getting really hard, and so you're talking yourself out of it, right? Maybe you have to ask yourself, like, what is the cost of not doing this? Like, you might have to just take a little bit more time and do some journaling, or give yourself a little bit more time. Let me just hang on a little longer. I can always stop this in the future, but let's just, like, take a little bit longer, get a little bit more information. Now that said, sometimes people are so afraid of self-sabotage that they talk themselves into being in jobs longer and relationships longer and other things longer. So I just say like, you know you the best. This is where you have to get honest with yourself, right? So it's because I don't want you to be like, -h, I'm I don't want to self-sabotage if I stick out this thing and I and Lesley said, so no, I just want you to just pay attention to your own patterns and what is going on. Here's the thing, hearing your intuition is difficult because it is a quiet, subtle inner voice that is easily drowned out by loud, racing thoughts, fear and societal demands for logic. It is often hard to distinguish from anxiety or past traumas, which present as urgent, emotional and reactive, rather than calm and steady, like if you are someone who is like feeling the effects of cortisol has had past trauma, has a lot going on in your mind. You're it's you're there's too much uncertainty in your life. I just want you to know if you're having a hard time hearing what to do next, it's, it's because you got, there's a lot going on and there's a lot going on right now. Oh my god. Like logic and society would say, let's not start anything new right now, right? But I will also say that, like, some of the craziest things I did at times were the so uncertain I am, like, sitting in this beautiful house, that people are like, you're crazy to buy a house when, like, you're not even sure what Covid is going to do with your business right now. Now, I also don't want people to go into debt, because it's, my gut says so, like, we have to really make sure that we're, we're making decisions from the right place and sitting with those things. And as you build that up, you might need to take some time and make sure that, like, it's the same answer. You know, you like, start, like, shake a magic eight ball, and you get an answer. You're like, I don't like this answer, and shake it again to get another answer. This is, like, I would say it's the opposite. It's like, maybe, if you're working on trusting your intuition and not self-sabotage or talking yourself out of things or using society's pressures to stick with whatever you're supposed to do, maybe you're looking for the eight ball to say the same thing three days in a row, right? All right. Lesley Logan 26:22  So just a couple, just to go on to that, because I know, I know you my listener. I know you need more information. So here is more information on why it's hard to hear your intuition. So overthinking and noise, overthinking, chronic overthinking. Hello, my chronic overthinkers. I see you. Stress and anxiety create mental noise that drowns out the quiet, subtle whispers of intuition. So if that's you, might want to be taking some time, maybe the habits to try to figure out, like, what do I do with my overthinking thoughts? I am an over thinker at night. Holy frickin moly, it is insanity. So guess what? MoonBrew, extra magnesium, a little extra support from my hormone specialist, and I can overthink in the morning, and then I'm like this. It's too beautiful to overthink right now, right fear, miss it misidentified as intuition. So true intuition feels calm, while fear-based thoughts are loud, urgent and emotional. We often confuse fear or past trauma, for example, needing to protect yourself for intuition. So I think I love that they brought this up, because it's like, how do you know? And as I've just mentioned a few times, it's one thing I'm thinking of doing every time I think about not doing it, it doesn't feel easy. Every time I think about doing it, this is gonna be the hardest thing I've ever done. But there's a calmness, like a confidence to my body that I feel, right? Over reliance on logic, so society priorities is data, facts and rational thinking, leading us to dismiss gut feelings that lack immediate logical explanation. So just notice, like, look, I do believe in data over dogma, but just kind of notice when you're letting other people's need for data determine what you how you make your decisions, that's their need, not yours. Lack of inner calm, intuition requires a grounded, present state. You're overwhelmed, ungrounded, or disconnected from your body, you cannot hear the physical sensations that often accompany intuitive nudges right. So like, I will just say, if you are not in an inner calm state, you should not be making any decisions. One, you're not gonna hear your intuition. But two, like, we all make poor decisions. Date terrible people pick big fights when we're not in inner calm state. So you might want to figure out things that help you with that. Lack of trust and self-doubt, low self-confidence or history of dismissing your own feelings can make it difficult to trust your inner voice when it does speak. I feel that I get you. I've been there. Lesley Logan 28:27  So my love. I hope this gave you some like kind of thought and some insight about, like, intuition versus inner chatter, versus why it's hard. I hope you know like it's totally normal to feel like you have lost your inner voice, or that you don't have that trust there. I think that there's just so much going on, and I don't know that our intuition can really, like, compete with, like, the scroll, the instant scroll, of so many things that are going on and and, you know, the time I'm recording this, like, you know, the President is, like, threatening to be at war. But also, you know, that's a distraction for the files. And then there's this happening over here, and then the hockey team just bringing up what every single female, like, always feels is happening all of the time. And you're just like, oh my god, and I have to go to work, and I have to fill this thing out, and I have to figure out how I'm gonna make this big decision. And so I just want you to know, like, there is a lot going on, so it can be hard. And I would highly encourage you to figure out, maybe brainstorm, go back to the habits episode and brainstorm all the different things that you could do to try to just like, get a habit or a thing that you could do to help you calm your nervous system so that then you can make decisions from a better place, and just remember that taking all that information is helping you with your intuition. Your intuition relies on information that you have filed away. Hard to have intuition on something you've never done or experienced or know, right? So I think you're amazing. I really hope that you are into this series. So Thursday, I'll give you the tools for listening and hearing it better, and then next week, we're going to have a really great guest who used her inner knowing and inner guidance to help heal herself. So I think that there's there's so much that our intuition and our inner guidance can do if we're listening. And so I hope this gets you started. Lesley Logan 30:18  If you have a topic that you want me to discuss, or if you have something related to this that you want to share with us, you can send it to the beitpod.com/questions. Ask a question. You can share a win about it, or you can you can just tell us, I'd love to hear how this is helping you and until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 30:32  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 31:14  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 31:19  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 31:24  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 31:31  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 31:34  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Dr. Bruce Perry unpacks the difference between stress, adversity, and trauma, helping parents shift from asking “what's wrong with you?” to “what happened to you?” He explains how moderate, predictable stress actually builds resilience, while overprotection can limit a child's growth. He also highlights the powerful role of relationships—especially how a regulated parent can calm a dysregulated child—and offers practical ways to foster connection through rhythm, movement, and presence. Ultimately, he reminds us that understanding a child's story is key to helping them heal and grow. Resources mentioned: The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog by Bruce Perry and Maia Szalavitz Born for Love: Why Empathy Is Essential—and Endangered by Bruce Perry and Maia Szalavitz What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Pre-order our new book, Capable and grab tickets for Capable - The Book Tour here! See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. HOPE SPRINGS: Listen along to Hope Springs, https://tinyurl.com/RBGHopeSprings, a family audio drama series following the lives and adventures of a few Colorado kids  QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. NIV ILLUSTRATING BIBLE: Go to https://tinyurl.com/RBGNIVIllustratingBible to learn more about the NIV Illustrating Bible. EVERYBODY GET A JUICE BOX: Go to https://tinyurl.com/RBGJuiceboxPodcast to learn more about this podcast on neurodiverse parenting.  SHOPIFY: Go to https://tinyurl.com/RBGShopify to learn more about Shopify!CASPER: Save up to 30% on mattresses and up to 35% on everything else when you go to Casper.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Season 15, Episode 392 introduces phase two of the roadmap: neurochemistry and motivation. Andrea Samadi breaks down the motivation loop—expectation, thought patterns, attention and action, feedback, and repetition—and explains how belief and dopamine drive what we start, persist with, or stop. The episode highlights earned vs. borrowed dopamine, the role of the anterior mid-cingulate cortex in willpower, and offers practical steps to build sustainable motivation through small wins, effort-first rewards, and consistent practice. ✅ What You'll Learn in This Episode ✔️ How the Motivation Loop works—and why your brain is always running it ✔️ Why dopamine is about anticipation, not just pleasure ✔️ The difference between borrowed vs earned dopamine—and how it impacts your drive ✔️ How your beliefs and thought patterns shape your brain chemistry ✔️ Why doing hard things strengthens willpower (aMCC) and builds resilience ✔️ What causes motivation to increase… or break down ✔️ How your brain decides to repeat a behavior—or avoid it next time ✔️ Why effort first, reward after is the key to building lasting motivation ✔️ Simple ways to train your brain to stay motivated ✔️ How to align your brain for sustained performance and results Welcome back to Season 15 of the Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast. I'm Andrea Samadi, and it's here that we bridge the science behind social and emotional learning, emotional intelligence, and practical neuroscience—so we can create measurable improvements in well-being, achievement, productivity, and results. If you're new here, welcome. We are currently reviewing past episodes as part of Season 15—organized as a roadmap of the brain's foundational systems. Instead of treating neuroscience, health, mindset, and performance as separate topics—like we've done in the past 14 seasons—we're now exploring how these systems come online in sequence. We started Phase 1, Regulation and Safety, with EP 384[i], with Dr. Baland Jalal, who taught us how learning begins (with curiosity, sleep, imagination and creativity), and reviewed anchor episodes with Dr. Bruce Perry[ii], looking into trauma, rhythm, and relational safety, Dr. Sui Wong[iii] on autonomic balance, and Rohan Dixit[iv], on HRV, real-time self-regulation and nervous system literacy. Now, we are moving to Phase 2, diving deeper into neurochemistry and motivation…then we'll cover movement, learning, and cognition… Then perception, emotion, social intelligence… and finally integration, insight, and meaning as we put all of the phases together. Season 15 Roadmap: Phase 1 — Regulation & Safety Phase 2 — Neurochemistry & Motivation Phase 3 — Movement, Learning & Cognition Phase 4 — Perception, Emotion & Social Intelligence Phase 5 — Integration, Insight & Meaning Because peak performance isn't built by doing more— it's built by aligning the systems underneath. And the truth is, most of us were never taught how these systems drive our behavior and results in the first place. So as I continue to explore and better understand these systems myself, I want to thank you for joining me on this journey… So that together, we learn how to align our brains— and use this understanding to unlock what's truly possible for us to achieve. Because I do believe that we're capable of achieving far more than we think is possible—with this understanding. PHASE 2 Today, we move into Phase 2 of our roadmap— Neurochemistry and Motivation. In Phase 1, we asked a foundational question:

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. IWe aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com In this Stage 2 AIRM episode, Ryan and James dive deep into one of the most tender, high‑risk, and high‑reward parts of EFT: working with attachment injuries in Stage 2. Building on de‑escalation work from Stage 1, they explore how to move past “talking about the injury” into fully opening the scene of the wound so that real limbic revision can occur. Ryan shares how his own disorientation around when and how to work with injuries led him to train intensively with George and Karen, and how doing solid attachment‑injury work actually taught him how to do all of Stage 2. James opens up about his personal learning edge—how hard it can be, as a caregiver, to invite vivid pain into the room—and what helps him stay present instead of pulling back. Across the episode, they unpack: Why “you cannot change what you cannot open” How to set a platform for attachment‑injury work that stabilizes both partners The art of scene work: evoking 5–7 concrete sensory cues to move from summary into live experience How to hold the injured partner's pain open long enough for the offender to truly feel the impact Why clients are “not fragile, they're too stable”—and what that means for our stance as experiential therapists They also connect this process to AIRM, the EFT World Summit, and the broader map of Stage 2—reminding us that deep injury work is not a side path, but a powerful way into the heart of restructuring the bond. Key Teaching Points from This Episode 1. Why Attachment Injury Work Belongs in Stage 2 Most clinical conversations get stuck in “What do we do with injuries in Stage 1?” Stage 1 is about stabilization and de‑escalation, not “doing surgery” on the injury. Once there is enough stability and safety, Stage 2 is where we go to the heart of the injury to create lasting change. For Ryan, learning to do good Stage 2 attachment injury work was how he learned to truly do Stage 2 at all (vs. just using its concepts). 2. “You Cannot Change What You Cannot Open” Effective injury repair requires fully opening the synaptic memory system of the event. Therapists must help clients move from summary (“this thing that happened back then…”) to live, embodied experience in the room. If the pain stays in the background, it acts like a “boogeyman”—emerging unpredictably and hijacking the bond. The task is not to “make them hurt,” but to give the pain that already lives in them a chance to be explicitly on stage, in a safe, co‑regulated frame. 3. Scene Work: How to Open and Stay in the Injury Ryan describes his scene‑based approach: Set a clear platform (framing why you're going here, for both partners). Open a specific scene of the injury and stay there (often 20+ minutes, “circles and circles”). Focus primarily on one partner's deep experience at a time. Use 5–7 concrete physical/sensory cues to shift out of summary and into experience: What do you see? What do you smell? Temperature on your skin? Textures around you? What's happening in your body? In your eyes? “You can't revise what you can't open”: the deeper and clearer the scene is evoked, the more powerful the potential for revision. 4. The Therapist's Own Edges and Nervous System James shares that, from his caregiving/medical background, watching vivid pain come alive in session can be hard on his own nervous system. The temptation is to protect clients from feeling too much, but: We are not creating pain. We are bringing existing pain into shared awareness so it can be held and transformed. Therapists must train themselves like firefighters: Trust your training Trust your equipment (the EFT map, Tango, AIRM) Trust the people you've trained with A healthy fear of what could go wrong is important, but must be balanced by a clear vision of what is lost if we never go there. 5. “Right Dose at the Right Time” Drawing on Bruce Perry's work: therapy requires the right dosage at the right time. Do not do this kind of deep, evocative surgery in Stage 1—that would be an overdose on an unstable system. In Stage 1: We treat the injury (acknowledge, validate, build some safety), But we do not do full surgical repair yet. In Stage 2: The partner is more available to co‑regulate and respond. The bond is more ready to sustain deep limbic work and revision. 6. Clients Are Not Fragile—They're Too Stable Ryan's provocative teaching line: “Your clients are not fragile. They're too stable.” They are stable in their woundedness and rigid organization: Rigid protective strategies Rigid negative self/other models As experiential therapists, if we treat clients as too fragile to go into these places, we: Collude with the stability of the injury Miss the opportunity for deep restructuring We must hold both: Tenderness and strong alliance (like a good mom with a third grader) Relentlessness in going after the dark places 7. Two Core Goals of Attachment Injury Repair (AIRM) Ryan summarizes the two main goals of attachment injury repair: The injured partner sees their pain reflected back in the eyes of the injurer. Not just verbal apologies The limbic system needs to register: “You are with me in this pain now, not talking me out of it.” Often assessed by asking (carefully): “Do you feel like your partner really gets the depth of this?” A felt sense of confidence that, given the same circumstances, this would not happen again. This is not cognitive reassurance alone. It's a body‑based sense that something fundamental has shifted in the bond and in the injurer. When both are present (often over multiple sessions), the injury can be considered functionally repaired, and the couple can return to the previous stage of EFT work. 8. Platform Building: How Ryan Sets Up the Work Ryan starts with a platform conversation before opening the scene: To the offender: “I'm not doing this to make you feel bad. You deserve not to have this event be the story of you.” Frames the work as a way to retire the “Scarlet Letter” and integrate the event into a larger, more hopeful story. Uses metaphors like sleeping on an unpinned grenade—life is too precarious if the injury is never addressed. To the injured partner: Names that a part of them is still stuck in that place (delivery room, the moment they discovered the affair, etc.). With their permission, he proposes spending several sessions there to go find and bring back that part of them. This platform: Clarifies what they're doing and why. Re‑establishes consent and collaboration. Begins stabilizing the offender's shame and the injured partner's fear before going deeper. 9. The Five “People” in the Room Ryan offers a helpful image: during injury work, there are effectively five people involved: The therapist The adult injured partner The adult injuring partner The younger/earlier version of the injured partner in the scene The younger/earlier version of the injurer in the scene The work is about going after all of them in a redemptive way—bringing those divided versions back into connection and coherence. 10. From Scene Work to Tango Move 5 and Back to the Map Once the scene is open, Ryan sees the work as “old‑school Step 5”: Deep affect assembly in the injured partner Clear enactments to the offender Sculpting the offender into A.R.E. responsiveness (Accessible, Responsive, Engaged) Helping the injured partner take in that responsiveness He often uses multiple, small enactments rather than rushing to one big one: Micro‑processing present‑moment shifts “What do you see in their eyes right now?” “What happens in your body as they reach for you?” Crucially, after deep injury work: Don't get so disoriented that you abandon the EFT map. Ideally, you return to where you were (e.g., late withdrawer re‑engagement) and complete the rest of Stage 2: Full withdrawer re‑engagement Pursuer softening 11. Using Yourself and Accepting Disorientation Ryan normalizes that, in late Stage 1, Stage 2, and especially Stage 2 injury sessions: He often leaves feeling completely disoriented (in a good way). It takes a minute to re‑orient, use the bathroom, splash water on his face. This disorientation is a sign that: He has fully entered the memory with them. He is using himself deeply as an experiential therapist. He distinguishes this from burnout: Burnout was more present when he tried to work these places without scene‑based experiential depth. Deep scene work, while intense, is actually more effective and less demoralizing than spinning in summary and argument. 12. Honoring Clients and the Mission of EFT Therapists Both highlight: Clients as major teachers—it's worth explicitly thanking them at times. Sue's stance: even at the end of her career, she was “excited to go up the hill and see what my clients are going to teach me today.” They frame trainers (and this podcast) as trying to be like: Military commanders who can't go on every mission, but must equip the troops well: Best training Best equipment Clear mission The closing tone: Deep appreciation for therapists who are willing to go to dark, painful places with their clients. Reassurance that with the map, the tango, and the AIRM frame, you are not walking into those places alone. If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Andrea Samadi revisits a conversation with sleep researcher Antonio Zadra on why the brain dreams, how REM sleep integrates emotions and memories, and the NextUp model (Network Exploration to Understand Possibilities). Learn that dreaming executes integration largely without recall, how remembered dreams can aid reflection, and practical tips—like keeping a dream log and noting emotions—to use sleep-based processing for insight, creativity, and problem solving within Season 15's roadmap from regulation to integration. How the Brain Integrates Insight During Sleep Review of EP 104 (Jan 2021) with Antonio Zadra In this episode, we revisit our conversation with sleep scientist Antonio Zadra to explore why the brain dreams—and how sleep helps us integrate learning, solve problems, and spark creativity. ✅ What You'll Learn in This Episode ✔️ Why dreams are not random—and what purpose they serve ✔️ The NEXTUP model (Network Exploration to Understand Possibilities) and how the brain explores ideas during sleep ✔️ How dreams connect past experiences, present challenges, and future possibilities ✔️ Why the brain is actively working “offline” while you sleep ✔️ How dreaming supports problem-solving and creative insight ✔️ The role of REM sleep in memory consolidation and emotional processing ✔️ Why dreams help regulate stress and emotional experiences ✔️ Why you don't need to remember your dreams for them to be effective ✔️ The truth about dream interpretation (and why there is no universal meaning) ✔️ How to use dream recall as a tool for self-reflection and awareness ✔️ Why insight from dreams often appears later—not in the moment Key Concept

Host Andrea Samadi revisits a 2021 conversation with Dr. Kristen Holmes (VP of Performance Science at WHOOP) to explain how measuring sleep, recovery, and strain transforms performance and resilience. The episode emphasizes that small daily habits in downtime—sleep, HRV, hydration, and strategic movement—create a sustainable competitive advantage. Practical tips include tracking one recovery metric, building a shutdown routine, auditing downtime choices, prioritizing consistent sleep, and balancing strain with recovery so you can train smarter, reduce stress, and improve focus and wellbeing. For today's EP 390, we cover: ✔ What “What gets measured gets improved” really means for performance ✔ How sleep, recovery, and strain work together as one system ✔ Why recovery—not effort—is the true driver of results ✔ The hidden cost of high strain without adequate sleep ✔ How to use data to match your effort to your recovery capacity ✔ The difference between training harder vs. training smarter ✔ Why shorter, intentional workouts can outperform longer sessions ✔ How wearable data (like WHOOP) builds awareness and better decision-making ✔ The connection between overtraining, inflammation, and performance plateaus ✔ How to create sustainable performance through balance, not extremes Welcome back to Season 15 of the Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast. I'm Andrea Samadi, and here we bridge the science behind social and emotional learning, emotional intelligence, and practical neuroscience—so we can create measurable improvements in well-being, achievement, productivity, and results. When we launched this podcast seven years ago, it was driven by a question I had never been taught to ask— not in school, not in business, and not in life: If results matter—and they matter now more than ever—how exactly are we using our brain to make these results happen? Most of us were taught what to do. Very few of us were taught how to think under pressure, how to regulate emotion, how to sustain motivation, or even how to produce consistent results without burning out. That question led me into a deep exploration of the mind–brain–results connection—and how neuroscience applies to everyday decisions, conversations, and performance. That's why this podcast exists. Each week, we bring you leading experts to break down complex science and translate it into practical strategies that we can all apply immediately. Season 15 we've organized as a review roadmap, where each episode explores one foundational brain system—and each phase builds on the one before it. Season 15 Roadmap: Phase 1 — Regulation & Safety Phase 2 — Neurochemistry & Motivation Phase 3 — Movement, Learning & Cognition Phase 4 — Perception, Emotion & Social Intelligence Phase 5 — Integration, Insight & Meaning PHASE 1: REGULATION & SAFETY Staples: Sleep + Stress Regulation Core Question: Is the nervous system safe enough to learn? Anchor Episodes Episode 384[i] — Baland Jalal How learning begins: curiosity, sleep, imagination, creativity Episode 385[ii] — Bruce Perry “What happened to you?” — trauma, rhythm, relational safety Episode 387[iii] Sui Wong Autonomic balance, lifestyle medicine, brain resilience Episode 389[iv] Rohan Dixit HRV, real-time self-regulation, nervous system literacy Episode 390 Dr. Kristen Holmes (Whoop) Recovery Metrics, physiological readiness Episode 391 Antonio Zadra Sleep, dreaming, REM Integration EPISODE 390 — Dr. Kristen Holmes Recovery Metrics, physiological readiness. In Phase 1: Regulation & Safety, we are asking one essential question: Is the nervous system safe enough to learn? And today we cover this topic as we travel back to May 2021 for EP 134[v] when we first met Dr. Kristen Holmes, the VP of Performance Science at Whoop. Back then, I had just turned 50 and purchased the Whoop wearable tracker to help me to improve my weakest link (at the time): Sleep. For today's EP 390 — We revisit this earlier episode with Dr. Kristen Holmes and her work that centers on one powerful truth: What gets measured gets improved. In our original conversation, we explored sleep, recovery, and strain — and how understanding your body's data can transform performance, health, and resilience. This episode bridges physiology and performance — showing how awareness becomes optimization. A lot has changed with the Whoop wearable device in the past 5 years and you don't need to use a wearable to tune into our conversation, to see how we can improve YOUR weakest link (once you have discovered what it is).

What if the biggest shift you could make for your most complex students had nothing to do with behaviour charts, consequences, or reward systems — and everything to do with the way you see them?In this episode, I'm sitting down with the incredible Verity Harvey — an educator with over 20 years of experience in inclusion and disability, a passionate advocate for neurodiversity, and one of the keynote speakers I'll be joining at EduTech 2026 here in Sydney (more on that soon!). Verity brings a wealth of experience from early childhood through to complex disability settings, and she is now working in mainstream schools to help educators do inclusion really well.Verity's whole philosophy is built around the idea that behaviour is a message — and that if we can shift from a "behaviour management" lens to a "problem-solving" lens, everything changes. She's deeply influenced by the work of Dr. Ross Greene and his Collaborative Proactive Solutions model, as well as Dr. Bruce Perry's neurosequential framework, and she brings all of that together in a way that is warm, practical, and genuinely actionable.We talk about what Universal Design actually looks like in a busy classroom, why regulation has to come before reasoning (every single time), and why the iceberg analogy isn't just a metaphor — it's the key to depersonalising behaviour and showing up calm for your students.Verity also shares a deeply personal story about her son — a moment at swimming lessons that perfectly illustrates how systems still have a long way to go in understanding and accommodating neurodivergent kids. You're going to want to hear it.In this episode, you'll learn:What Universal Design for Learning actually looks like in a real classroom — not the theory, the tangible stuffThe three R's from Dr. Bruce Perry: Regulate → Relate → Reason (and why skipping steps doesn't work)What's really under the surface of big, concerning behaviours — and how understanding it helps you depersonalise and stay regulated yourselfHow the iceberg analogy applies to kids AND teachers — and what to do with thatThe one mindset shift that will change how you walk into your classroom tomorrowHow school leaders can build systems that actually support teachers to support their most complex studentsWhy "just be kind" isn't quite enough — and what gets in the way of that for even the most compassionate teachersCome and join us at Edutech Sydney 2026! Use code UNTEACH26 for a discount on your event pass.Have a question, comment, or just want to say hello? Drop us a text!RESOURCES AND MORE SUPPORT:Shop all resourcesJoin The Behaviour ClubMy book! It's Never Just About the Behaviour: A holistic approach to classroom behaviour management The Low-Level Behaviour BootcampFree guide: 'Chats that Create Change'Connect with me:Follow on Instagram @the.unteachablesCheck out my website

In this episode Andrea Samadi revisits her conversation with Rohan Dixit, founder of Leaf Therapeutics, exploring how heart rate variability (HRV) and breath awareness reveal hidden stress and support self-regulation. Learn practical breath techniques like the physiological sigh and slow breathing, plus tips to calm nighttime stress and improve sleep, so you can build lasting resilience without over-relying on technology. In Episode 389, we revisit our September 2022 interview with Rohan Dixit, founder of Lief Therapeutics, where we explore the science behind HRV, breath awareness, and how learning to regulate our nervous system can improve stress, sleep, and resilience. In this episode, we cover: ✔ What heart rate variability (HRV) is and why it's one of the most important biomarkers for understanding stress, recovery, and resilience ✔  Why many people unknowingly hold their breath during stressful moments and how this impacts mental health and nervous system regulation ✔  How breath awareness can help shift the body from a stress response to a calmer, more regulated state ✔  How wearable technology like the Lief Therapeutics device can help people recognize stress patterns in real time ✔  Why improving breathing patterns before sleep can improve sleep quality and reduce anxiety the following day ✔  The connection between self-regulation, nervous system awareness, and long-term mental health ✔ Why learning to regulate stress through breathing is a skill that develops over time, not a one-time solution Welcome back to Season 15 of the Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast. I'm Andrea Samadi, and here we bridge the science behind social and emotional learning, emotional intelligence, and practical neuroscience—so we can create measurable improvements in well-being, achievement, productivity, and results. When we launched this podcast seven years ago, it was driven by a question I had never been taught to ask— not in school, not in business, and not in life: If results matter—and they matter now more than ever—how exactly are we using our brain to make these results happen? Most of us were taught what to do. Very few of us were taught how to think under pressure, how to regulate emotion, how to sustain motivation, or even how to produce consistent results without burning out. That question led me into a deep exploration of the mind–brain–results connection—and how neuroscience applies to everyday decisions, conversations, and performance. That's why this podcast exists. Each week, we bring you leading experts to break down complex science and translate it into practical strategies you can apply immediately. Season 15 we've organized as a review roadmap, where each episode explores one foundational brain system—and each phase builds on the one before it. Season 15 Roadmap: Phase 1 — Regulation & Safety Phase 2 — Neurochemistry & Motivation Phase 3 — Movement, Learning & Cognition Phase 4 — Perception, Emotion & Social Intelligence Phase 5 — Integration, Insight & Meaning PHASE 1: REGULATION & SAFETY Staples: Sleep + Stress Regulation Core Question: Is the nervous system safe enough to learn? Anchor Episodes Episode 384[i] — Baland Jalal How learning begins: curiosity, sleep, imagination, creativity Episode 385[ii] — Bruce Perry “What happened to you?” — trauma, rhythm, relational safety Episode 387[iii] Sui Wong Autonomic balance, lifestyle medicine, brain resilience Episode 389 Rohan Dixit HRV, real-time self-regulation, nervous system literacy Episode 390 Dr. Kristen Holmes (Whoop) Recovery Metrics, physiological readiness Episode 391 Antonio Zadra Sleep, dreaming, REM Integration EPISODE 389 — Rohan Dixit HRV, Real-Time Self-Regulation, and Nervous System Literacy In Phase 1: Regulation & Safety, we are asking one essential question: Is the nervous system safe enough to learn? So far, we've revisited Dr. Baland Jalal on curiosity, sleep, imagination, and creativity; Dr. Bruce Perry on trauma, rhythm, and relational safety; and Dr. Sui Wong on autonomic balance, lifestyle medicine, and brain resilience. Today, we return to one of my favorite episodes—Episode 248[iv] with Rohan Dixit, founder of Lief Therapeutics—where we explored how a deeper understanding of heart rate variability, or HRV, can help us sharpen our awareness of stress, recovery, and resilience. What stood out most to me about Rohan's work was that his wearable device was never meant to become something we depend on forever. Instead, it was designed to help people learn how to breathe and regulate themselves in real time—so that eventually, they can recognize stress, anxiety, and overwhelm on their own, and know how to calm their body without needing the device. At the heart of Rohan's mission is something much bigger than technology. It's about helping people build the skills to manage stress in healthier ways—without over-relying on medication, quick fixes, or habits that may bring short-term relief but create long-term harm. This episode reminds us that self-regulation is a skill. And when we learn to read the signals of the body, we can begin to build the safety and stability the brain needs for learning, healing, and growth.  

In this episode Andrea Samadi welcomes back Dr. David Stephens to explore his new book, The Glucose Protocol, and the science showing how targeted glucose can restore brain function, improve mental clarity, and reduce symptoms linked to diabetes, autoimmune disorders, and chronic stress. They break down the difference between glucose and other sweeteners, explain why the brain prioritizes survival over higher-order thinking during stress, and share practical strategies—like on-the-spot glucose dosing—to regain focus and cognitive performance. Dr. Stephens also discusses biomarkers, clinical observations, and upcoming practical products to make brain refueling easy, offering hopeful, science-based approaches to restore long-term brain health. Watch interview on YouTube here https://youtu.be/zv70S5fZh2I Today's EP 388 we're welcoming Dr. Stephens back to the podcast to explore: The difference between glucose and other sugars Why blood sugar and brain glucose matter for cognitive performance What his newest research is revealing about brain restoration And how we can think more clearly about nutrition and brain health moving forward. Welcome back to Season 15 of the Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast. I'm Andrea Samadi, and here we bridge the science behind social and emotional learning, emotional intelligence, and practical neuroscience—so we can create measurable improvements in well-being, achievement, productivity, and results. When we launched this podcast seven years ago, it was driven by a question I had never been taught to ask— not in school, not in business, and not in life: If results matter—and they matter now more than ever—how exactly are we using our brain to make these results happen? Most of us were taught what to do. Very few of us were taught how to think under pressure, how to regulate emotion, how to sustain motivation, or even how to produce consistent results without burning out. That question led me into a deep exploration of the mind–brain–results connection—and how neuroscience applies to everyday decisions, conversations, and performance. That's why this podcast exists. Each week, we bring you leading experts to break down complex science and translate it into practical strategies that we can all apply immediately. When the brain, body, and emotions are aligned, performance stops feeling forced—and starts to feel sustainable. Season 14 showed us what alignment looks like in real life. We looked at goals and mental direction, rewiring the brain, future-ready learning and leadership, self-leadership, which ALL led us to inner alignment. And now, Season 15 is about understanding how that alignment is built—so we can build it ourselves, using predictable, science-backed principles. Because alignment doesn't happen all at once. It happens by using a sequence. And when we understand the order of that sequence — we can replicate it. By repeating this sequence over and over again, until magically (or predictably) we notice our results have changed. Season 15 we've organized as a review roadmap, where each episode explores one foundational brain system—and each phase builds on the one before it. Rather than focusing on outcomes, hacks, or motivation alone, we examine the core brain systems that must be stable before learning, performance, and leadership can emerge. Episodes are organized around a simple but powerful progression: Phase 1: Regulation & Safety — the nervous system foundation for learning Phase 2: Neurochemistry and Motivation—dopamine balance + Emotional regulation Phase 3: Cognition & Learning — attention, memory, and executive function Phase 4: Perception & Social Intelligence — how we read ourselves and others Phase 5: Integration & Meaning — how experience becomes insight and growth Each system builds upon the one beneath it, reminding us that when foundations are ignored, progress is temporary. When they are strengthened, performance becomes sustainable. Season 15 is not a review of past episodes—we are connecting neuroscience, emotional regulation, and learning into a clear framework for improved human potential. Because performance is not built from the top down. It emerges from the foundations up. PHASE 1: REGULATION & SAFETY Staples: Sleep + Stress Regulation Core Question: Is the nervous system safe enough to learn? Anchor Episodes Episode 384[i] — Baland Jalal How learning begins: curiosity, sleep, imagination, creativity Episode 385[ii] — Bruce Perry “What happened to you?” — trauma, rhythm, relational safety Episode 386 –Thoryn Stephens Turning biometrics (HRV, sleep data, metabolic markers) into actionable protocols. Episode 387 Dr. Sui Wong[iii] Autonomic balance, lifestyle medicine, brain resilience Episode 388 Rohan Dixit HRV, real-time self-regulation, nervous system literacy For today's EP 388, we welcome back Dr. David Stephens, a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist renowned for his expertise in brain function and mental health. Discover groundbreaking insights into how glucose can be a game-changer in restoring brain function, mental health, and overall productivity. Dr. Stephens shared his compelling journey with us that led to the revelation of glucose as a crucial element in brain restoration. From understanding the perceptible differences between glucose and sugar to unraveling common myths about brain health, this conversation is packed with scientific insights that challenge traditional paradigms that explored how restoring glucose levels could revolutionize our mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. I believe in Dr. Stephens' mission mostly because I've experienced life-changing results when I started to read labels, and cut out sugar after a podiatrist told me this would improve my health back in 2005. The results I've noticed are significant. But now, I understand sugar and glucose at a different level. I have lots of follow up questions for Dr. Stephens, and am excited to learn more about what he has discovered since we last spoke. Episode Introduction This week on The Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast, we are revisiting a past guest who joined us in December 2024 on Episode 350[iv]. Dr. David Stephens is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist known for his research on brain function, mental health, and the role of glucose in cognitive performance and recovery. In our previous conversation, Dr. Stephens introduced a fascinating concept: that glucose may play a far more important role in brain restoration and mental health than many of us realize. Since that interview, Dr. Stephens has continued his research and recently released new insights in his book Restored Hope, exploring how glucose regulation may influence cognitive performance, emotional stability, and overall brain health. This topic is especially meaningful to me personally. Back in 2005, a podiatrist suggested I eliminate sugar from my diet to improve my health. After making that change and becoming more mindful of reading nutrition labels, I noticed significant improvements in how I felt physically and mentally. But what I've learned since speaking with Dr. Stephens is that understanding sugar and understanding glucose are not the same thing—and that difference may change how we think about nutrition and brain health. Dr. Stephens, welcome back to the podcast. How have you been since we last spoke? Q1: Dr. Stephens, thank you for reaching back to me about your new book, and research. I'm sure you could tell that this topic is important to me. We've covered a few podcast episodes on “The Damaging Effects of Sugar on the Brain and Body” with research that came from my foot doctor, who had me change my diet in 2005, and my health turned around for the better. Can we review what should we understand about glucose, vs sucralose that is connected to weight gain and type 2 diabetes? Q2: What's important about understanding our blood sugar vs glucose levels in the brain? Q3: I've also posted a comment from our last interview that gave an overview of the definition of sucrose vs sucralose. Then I wondered, is sucralose bad for our brain? Sometimes I make sugar free hot chocolate, and I know that I once looked this up. I'm sure Dr. Daniel Amen recommends Stevia as a brain-healthy sweetener, but I'm sure I once forgot, and bought Splenda by mistake. Can you explain the difference and do you agree with Dr. Amen that we should choose Stevia over Splenda? Q4: Can you share what you have uncovered since we last spoke in December 2024? I did read what you had sent me, but I will need it translated into English. • Fructose-controlled design (with biomarker panels HRV, FDG-PET, inflammatory markers, RBANS domains). • AI assisted hypothesize generation for theory building • This book ranks Q5: I followed some of the questions that came through on the YouTube Comments since our last episode. Many were positive, and support your research but every once in a while, someone will comment something negative about this topic. I find it interesting, because the podiatrist who told me to stop eating sugar years ago said the exact same thing. He found it difficult to fight against the criticism. What have you noticed and how do you handle people who don't understand what you have uncovered? Q6: What else is important for us to understand? Q7: Some people have asked for updated information on where they can find you. Can you share the best way for people to reach you? Dr. Stephens, I believe in your mission, and look forward to reading your new book. Thank you for sharing your research with us, and look forward to hearing what from you as you write more books on this topic, to help us to take our brain health seriously. Key Takeaways from This Episode 1. The Brain Runs on Glucose Glucose is the brain's primary fuel source. When glucose regulation is disrupted, it can affect cognition, focus, emotional regulation, and mental health. 2. Not All “Sugar” Is the Same Many people use the words sugar and glucose interchangeably, but they are chemically different and can affect the body in different ways. Understanding these differences can help people make more informed nutrition decisions. 3. Artificial Sweeteners Raise Important Questions Sweeteners like sucralose (Splenda) may not behave the same way as natural glucose or other sugars in the brain and body. This is an area of ongoing research and debate, and understanding the metabolic impact of these substitutes is important. 4. Brain Health Is Deeply Connected to Metabolism Dr. Stephens' research suggests that metabolic processes, inflammation, and brain energy systems may play a much larger role in mental health and cognitive performance than we previously understood. 5. Science Evolves Through Debate Innovative research often meets skepticism. Scientific progress depends on healthy debate, continued research, and open dialogue. Listener Action Steps 1. Become Aware of Your Nutrition Labels Start reading labels and becoming more aware of added sugars, sweeteners, and ingredients in your daily diet. Small changes can have meaningful long-term effects. 2. Pay Attention to Your Brain Energy Notice how your focus, mood, and energy levels respond to different foods. Your brain's fuel matters for performance, learning, and emotional regulation. 3. Stay Curious About New Research Topics like nutrition, metabolism, and brain health are constantly evolving. Stay open to learning and questioning new findings. Just like we mention in this interview, there was a day that Andrea would not eat butter. Understanding glucose is another paradigm shift. 4. Prioritize Brain Health Holistically Nutrition is only one piece of the puzzle. Brain health is also supported by: sleep stress regulation exercise recovery social connection Closing Summary As we continue exploring the neuroscience behind health, performance, and learning, conversations like this remind us that our brain is deeply connected to the systems that fuel it. Understanding how the brain uses energy—through glucose, metabolism, and nutrition—opens new doors for improving mental clarity, emotional well-being, and long-term brain health. Dr. Stephens, thank you for returning to the podcast and for continuing to explore this important topic. For those who want to dive deeper, we'll link to Dr. Stephens' latest book that you can pre-order now, and our original conversation from Episode 350 in the show notes. Feel free to reach out directly to Dr. Stephens through his contact information below. RESOURCES: Watch our original interview here EP 350 https://youtu.be/T0R3uvBbHPE MORE ABOUT DR. STEPHENS Dr. David Stephens is a seasoned clinician and leader in issues related to mental health, who has focused his efforts over the last 15 years on neuroscience. As a former supervising psychologist at the Colorado State mental hospital and a director in correctional mental health, he brings a unique perspective to the challenges faced by individuals with mental health and substance use disorders. He is a sought-after expert in the fields of brain function, mental, and correctional mental health. His work has been instrumental in shaping policies related to mental health care within correctional settings. Dr. Stephens has spent the majority of his career training statewide directors of mental health within the correctional system on brain function as well as geriatric issues facing the nation's prisons. He served as the academic Dean of professional psychology, including both Master's and Doctoral programs. He has been interviewed several times to discuss topics related to mental health, correctional mental health, brain function, addiction, and marriage. Dr. Stephens has dedicated his life to helping educate everyone he encounters on the importance of knowing and understanding these topics. CONNECT with DR. DAVID STEPHENS  Phone:  573 590-4638  Email:  dstephens@restoredhumanity.com Website: https://www.glucoseprotocol.com/  PRE-ORDER The Glucose Protocol: A Practical and Scientific Guide to Brain Restoration of Health.  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GQQYNX4Z#:~:text=The%20Glucose%20Protocol,Read%20more REFERENCES: [i] Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast EPISODE 384 “How Learning Begins in the Brain: Sleep, Safety and Curiosity (Revisiting Dr. Baland Jalal) https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/hypnagogic-genius-capture-your-best-ideas-at-the-edge-of-sleep/   [ii]Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast EPISODE 385 “Safety First: Why a Regulated Brain is the Key to Learning” (Revisiting Dr. Bruce Perry) https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/safety-first-why-a-regulated-brain-is-the-key-to-learning/   [iii]Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast EPISODE 387 with Dr. Sui Wong “Your Eyes: The Brain's Early Warning System”  https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/your-eyes-the-brain-s-early-warning-system/   [iv] Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast EPISODE 350 “Unlocking Brain Health with Dr. David Stephens”  https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/unlocking-brain-health-with-dr-david-stevens/  

This episode revisits Dr. Sui Wong's insights on how the eyes are neural tissue that can reveal early signs of brain, vascular, and metabolic issues, and reframes migraine as a common, often invisible neurological condition that causes brain fog and cognitive symptoms. Actionable takeaways include scheduling regular dilated eye exams, stabilizing blood sugar, prioritizing sleep and retinal blood flow, reducing digital strain, and tracking migraine triggers to prevent worsening symptoms. In today's review of EP 342 with Dr. Sui Wong from August 2024, we cover:  • Why the eyes are considered an extension of the brain — and how the retina is neural tissue • How eye exams may provide early insight into overall neurological and vascular health • What drusen are, why small amounts can be age-related, and why monitoring retinal changes matters • The powerful idea that prevention begins before symptoms become severe • Why migraine is not “just a headache,” but a neurological condition affecting 1 in 7 people globally • The hidden symptoms of migraine — including brain fog, mood changes, word-finding difficulty, and cognitive slowing • Why migraine is a leading cause of disability in young women and often goes unrecognized • The connection between blood sugar regulation, sleep, stress, and neurological function • Practical ways to support long-term brain health through awareness, monitoring, and daily lifestyle habits • How small, consistent actions build cognitive resilience over time Welcome back to Season 15 of the Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast. I'm Andrea Samadi, and here we bridge the science behind social and emotional learning, emotional intelligence, and practical neuroscience—so we can create measurable improvements in well-being, achievement, productivity, and results. When we launched this podcast seven years ago, it was driven by a question I had never been taught to ask— not in school, not in business, and not in life: If results matter—and they matter now more than ever—how exactly are we using our brain to make these results happen? Most of us were taught what to do. Very few of us were taught how to think under pressure, how to regulate emotion, how to sustain motivation, or even how to produce consistent results without burning out. That question led me into a deep exploration of the mind–brain–results connection—and how neuroscience applies to everyday decisions, conversations, and performance. That's why this podcast exists. Each week, we bring you leading experts to break down complex science and translate it into practical strategies you can apply immediately. When the brain, body, and emotions are aligned, performance stops feeling forced—and starts to feel sustainable. Season 14 showed us what alignment looks like in real life. We looked at goals and mental direction, rewiring the brain, future-ready learning and leadership, self-leadership, which ALL led us to inner alignment. And now, Season 15 is about understanding how that alignment is built—so we can build it ourselves, using predictable, science-backed principles. Because alignment doesn't happen all at once. It happens by using a sequence. And when we understand the order of that sequence — we can replicate it. By repeating this sequence over and over again, until magically (or predictably) we notice our results have changed. Season 15 we've organized as a review roadmap, where each episode explores one foundational brain system—and each phase builds on the one before it. Season 15 Roadmap: Phase 1 — Regulation & Safety Phase 2 — Neurochemistry & Motivation Phase 3 — Movement, Learning & Cognition Phase 4 — Perception, Emotion & Social Intelligence Phase 5 — Integration, Insight & Meaning PHASE 1: REGULATION & SAFETY Staples: Sleep + Stress Regulation Core Question: Is the nervous system safe enough to learn? Anchor Episodes Episode 384[i] — Baland Jalal How learning begins: curiosity, sleep, imagination, creativity Episode 385[ii] — Bruce Perry “What happened to you?” — trauma, rhythm, relational safety Episode 387 Sui Wong Autonomic balance, lifestyle medicine, brain resilience Episode 388 Rohan Dixit HRV, real-time self-regulation, nervous system literacy Phase 1 — Regulation & Safety We have reviewed Dr. Baland Jalal where we were reminded that before learning can happen, before curiosity can emerge, before motivation or growth is possible—the brain must feel safe. Then we looked at trauma and relational safety with Dr. Bruce Perry's Book, What Happened to You, and we move onto Dr. Sui Wong, with autonomic balance, lifestyle medicine and brain resilience.

In this episode Andrea Samadi revisits Season 15's foundation with Dr. Bruce Perry to explore how safety, regulation, and patterned experience shape the brain's capacity to learn and create. We examine why potential must be activated through repetition, rhythm, and low-threat environments, and how trauma, stress, or dysregulation block learning. Takeaways include practical steps for educators, parents, and leaders: prioritize nervous-system safety before instruction, use micro-repetition to build skills, and employ storytelling to make scientific ideas stick. This episode anchors Phase 1 of the season: regulation, rhythm, repetition, and relational safety as the prerequisites for sustainable performance and lasting change. This week, Episode 385—based on our review of Episode 168 recorded in October 2021—we explore: ✔ 1. Genetic Potential vs. Developed Capacity We are born with extraordinary biological potential. But experience determines which neural systems become functional. The brain builds what it repeatedly uses. ✔ 2. The Brain Is Use-Dependent Language, emotional regulation, leadership skills, motor precision— all are wired through patterned, rhythmic repetition. ✔ 3. Trauma, Regulation & Learning A dysregulated nervous system cannot efficiently learn. Safety, rhythm, and relational connection come before strategy. ✔ 4. “What Happened to You?” vs. “What's Wrong with You?” Shifting from judgment to curiosity changes how we approach: Children Students Teams Ourselves ✔ 5. Early Experience Shapes Long-Term Expression Developmental inputs—especially patterned, early ones— determine which capacities are strengthened. ✔ 6. Repetition Builds Confidence Confidence is not a personality trait. It is neural circuitry built through structured repetition in safe environments. ✔ 7. Story Makes Science Stick From Dr. Perry's experience writing with Oprah: You can't tell everybody everything you know. Impact comes from: One core idea Wrapped in story Delivered with restraint ✔ 8. Information Overload Weakens Learning Depth > Volume Clarity > Density Retention > Impressive Data ✔ 9. Regulation Comes Before Motivation Before goals. Before performance. Before achievement. The nervous system must feel safe. ✔ 10. Season 15's Foundational Question Is the nervous system safe enough to learn? Welcome back to Season 15 of the Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast. I'm Andrea Samadi, and here we bridge the science behind social and emotional learning, emotional intelligence, and practical neuroscience—so we can create measurable improvements in well-being, achievement, productivity, and results. When we launched this podcast seven years ago, it was driven by a question I had never been taught to ask— not in school, not in business, and not in life: If results matter—and they matter now more than ever—how exactly are we using our brain to make these results happen? Most of us were taught what to do. Very few of us were taught how to think under pressure, how to regulate emotion, how to sustain motivation, or even how to produce consistent results without burning out. That question led me into a deep exploration of the mind–brain–results connection—and how neuroscience applies to everyday decisions, conversations, and performance. That's why this podcast exists. Each week, we bring you leading experts to break down complex science and translate it into practical strategies you can apply immediately. If you've been with us through Season 14, you may have felt something shift. That season wasn't about collecting ideas. It was about integrating these ideas into our daily life, as we launched our review of past episodes. Across conversations on neuroscience, social and emotional learning, sleep, stress, exercise, nutrition, and mindset frameworks—we heard from voices like Bob Proctor, José Silva, Dr. Church, Dr. John Medina, and others—one thing became clear: These aren't separate tools that we are covering in each episode. They're parts of one operating system. When the brain, body, and emotions are aligned, performance stops feeling forced—and starts to feel sustainable. Season 14 showed us what alignment looks like in real life. We looked at goals and mental direction, rewiring the brain, future-ready learning and leadership, self-leadership, which ALL led us to inner alignment. And now we move into Season 15 that is about understanding how that alignment is built—so we can build it ourselves, using predictable, science-backed principles. Because alignment doesn't happen all at once. It happens by using a sequence. And when we understand the order of that sequence — we can replicate it. By repeating this sequence over and over again, until magically (or predictably) we notice our results have changed. So Season 15 we've organized as a review roadmap, where each episode explores one foundational brain system—and each phase builds on the one before it. Season 15 Roadmap: Phase 1 — Regulation & Safety Phase 2 — Neurochemistry & Motivation Phase 3 — Movement, Learning & Cognition Phase 4 — Perception, Emotion & Social Intelligence Phase 5 — Integration, Insight & Meaning PHASE 1: REGULATION & SAFETY Staples: Sleep + Stress Regulation Core Question: Is the nervous system safe enough to learn? Anchor Episodes Episode 384 — Baland Jalal How learning begins: curiosity, sleep, imagination, creativity Bruce Perry “What happened to you?” — trauma, rhythm, relational safety Sui Wong Autonomic balance, lifestyle medicine, brain resilience Rohan Dixit HRV, real-time self-regulation, nervous system literacy Last week we began with Phase One: Regulation and Safety as we revisited Dr. Baland Jalal's interview from June 2022. EP 384 — Dr. Baland Jalal[i] Dr. Baland Jalal This episode sits at the foundation of Season 15. Dr. Baland Jalal is a Harvard neuroscientist whose work explores how sleep, imagination, and curiosity shape the brain's capacity to learn and create. What stood out to me then — and even more now — is that learning doesn't begin with effort. It begins when the brain is rested, regulated, and free to explore possibility. This conversation reminds us that creativity isn't added later — it's built into the brain when conditions are right. It's here we remember that before learning can happen, before curiosity can emerge, before motivation or growth is possible— the brain must feel safe. And what better place to begin with safety and the brain, than with Dr. Bruce Perry, who we met October of 2021 on EP 168.[ii] EP 385 — Dr. Bruce Perry Dr. Bruce Perry (Episode 168 – October 2021) Dr. Bruce Perry, Senior Fellow of the Child Trauma Academy in Houston, Texas, and Adjunct Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago, joined the podcast to help us better understand how traumatic experiences shape the developing brain. At the time, I was deeply concerned about the generational impact of the COVID-19 pandemic. In one of Dr. Perry's trainings, he referenced research conducted after Hurricane Katrina in 2005, which showed that families exposed to prolonged stress experienced increased rates of substance abuse — not only in those directly affected, but in the next generation as well. As I began hearing reports of rising depression, anxiety, and substance use during the pandemic, I wondered: What could we do now to reduce the long-term neurological and emotional impact on our children, our schools, and future generations? Dr. Perry agreed to come on the show to share insights from his work and to discuss his book, co-authored with Oprah Winfrey: What Happened to You: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience and Healing.[iii] Dr. Bruce Perry challenges one of the most common questions we ask in education, leadership, and parenting. Instead of asking, “What's wrong with you?” he asks, “What happened to you?” In this conversation, we explored how early experiences shape the brain, how trauma disrupts regulation, and why healing begins with rhythm, safety, and connection. You can find a link to our full interview in the resource section in the show notes. This episode anchors Season 15 by reminding us: a dysregulated brain cannot learn — no matter how good the strategy. Let's go to our first clip with Dr. Bruce Perry, and look deeper at how we are all born with potential, but our experience builds the rest.

In this episode, Lesley breaks down self-love beyond surface-level self-care and explains why it's foundational to confidence, boundaries, resilience, and healthy relationships. She explores why self-love is often misunderstood, why it can feel so hard to practice, and how societal expectations shape the way women treat themselves. This conversation sets the foundation for a two-part series, with practical tools and practices coming in the next episode. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:What self-love actually means beyond self-care and affirmations.How self-love differs from narcissism and self-interest.The importance of self-love in building confidence and resilience.How self-love strengthens confidence through self-commitment.The impact of societal pressure and past experiences on self-love.Episode References/Links:Episode 153: Tanya Dalton - https://beitpod.com/ep153Learning To Love Yourself by Gay Hendricks - https://a.co/d/9r14YqcEpisode 628: Frances Naudé - https://beitpod.com/ep628Episode 610: Amy Ledin - https://beitpod.com/ep610What Happened to You? by Oprah Winfrey & Bruce D. Perry - https://a.co/d/fNSEjJvSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! 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What I interpret that as we can't be it till we see it and just sort of like ourselves, like what I don't want you to do is not have that self-love that's like true self-love. Lesley Logan 0:20  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Lesley Logan 1:03  Hey, Be It babe, how are you? Oh my gosh. Okay, so we're doing a two episode series on self-love and a two episode series on burnout, and these kind of came out of doing this series on the habits. And, you know, we've had so many amazing guests on the pod, and it made me think of like they talk about how you have to love yourself, like, I can't even tell you how I probably should have looked it up. How many episodes we have had guests tell us, like, love yourself. Like, you have to have, like, love for yourself. And, like, it got me thinking, like, you know? And you're like, yeah, yeah. Like, you think you know what that means. And then you're like, wait, what does it mean? Like, what? What is self-love, you know? And is it important? And what if we don't do it? And how is it different than burnout, and how is it different than a habit, and how is it different than, like, all these other things. And so I kind of wanted to do just like, a whole episode on, like, what is self-love? Why do we struggle with it? Why do we need it? It's important, right? So we're going to just like, kind of dive in. And if you think I know it already, sure, you can skip this episode and go the next one, which is going to be the tools and the tips and the tricks and the mantras, but I hope we can have, like, a conversation. I mean, obviously you're not here, but like, you can talk in the car together, of like, what, what does this mean? And maybe you have different interpretations, right? Also, in the next episode, I'll share some of the ones that you guys have sent about that with here. I think you guys sent some for self-love and some that kind of go with burnout. And so I'm excited about it. Lesley Logan 2:20  Okay, so first of all, here is the dry like what the professionals psychology, things like that have to say. Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that involves prioritizing your physical, psychological and spiritual wellbeing with the same kindness and compassion you would offer a loved one, I would also say you'd offer anyone, because I see a lot of people offer strangers more of these things than they do themselves. It includes accepting yourself blahs and all setting healthy boundaries, practicing self-care and treating yourself with respect. This is not the same as narcissism, which involves excessive self-interest, but rather a fundamental regard of your own happiness and worth. And I think, like, if we could just, like, leave that right there. You know, like, there's so many things in that it's like, oh, that's what self, like, it's not the same as like, I mean, yes, there are some tools I'll share that like, about loving yourself, like I love myself, but like, actually, these are the ways you can be in self-love. You can be prioritizing your physical, psychological, spiritual well being with the same kindness and passion you would offer a loved one. Another way of saying this that I found on the line was be the adult you always needed to yourself. Tell yourself the words the younger version of you always needed to hear. And that might mean you have to go learn about, like, reparenting right there. And that would be like a therapist, right? So hopefully, like, if any of these things spark your interest, like you are working with a professional therapist of some kind in that way, but like, especially if it involves, like, the reparenting of yourself, and I think a lot of us have to go through that. And by the way, I know a lot of moms are listening, and including mine, like, it's not that you didn't do a great job. You did the best you could, some people, right? And also, there's still things that happen in our lives outside of what our parents did or didn't do that, like are part of what we brought up to ourselves as an adult. And there's stories that we tell ourselves, and those all affect how we treat ourselves, psychologically, physically, spiritually, right? Okay, so just to make sure we are saying things in the same way, same thing in different ways, so that if you have a different way of viewing these words, you get an education around self-love today, here's another thing. So this means self-love can include self-acceptance, so recognizing accepting both your strengths and your weakness without harsh self-criticism. And I think this is the hardest for me, so I'll just give anecdotes to each of these, because I think that at least I like that when people do it. So I think it's easy for us to accept the good parts about ourselves, but then we're really harsh about the not so great parts, and again, not that you like don't try to better what those are. But I think a lot of people who are attracted to the show because I do the same thing, like, we like attract alike is we are then constantly trying to better the things that we don't like about ourselves. Great. Do that, and also don't be harsh, right? There's a difference between a harsh self-criticism and an awareness of things that could be better, but still loving yourself despite of or in spite of that, right? Self-compassion. Self-love is self-compassion. Treating yourself with kindness, especially during difficult times. I definitely struggle with compassion for myself when I kind of do the thing I know I shouldn't have done at the time, and then, you know, you're like, I shouldn't procrastinate right now, and then you do and then, like, everything blows up in your face. I will go into a harsh criticism. I will have a lack of self-compassion. All of that affects the self-love. And when you don't love yourself, it makes it really difficult for you to show up as the highest version of yourself, that's for sure. And it also it makes it really hard for us to accept love and support from others. It's almost hard for us to receive compassion for other people, because we're not giving it to ourselves, and so we don't even recognize compassion when it comes from someone else, right? Self-care is self-love. Actively taking care of your physical, emotional, mental health through actions like eating well, exercising, gain enough rest, and engage in activities you enjoy. And by the way, when it's when I say, whenever you hear me say, eating well or healthy, I think you need to understand like fueling yourself appropriately, right? What allows you to have the best sleep of your life? What allows you to do the movement practice you like, what allows you to do the life you want to live? So there's no such thing as good or bad food or good or bad bodies, right? So, but what are the things that make you feel well? Are you eating foods that you know are going to make you feel like crap? For example, I love Kettle Corn. I really love Kettle Corn, and I can have a handful of Kettle Corn, no problem. But I can't stop with a handful of Kettle Corn most of the time. And so when I am kind of oftentimes being a little too in my head, being a little hard on myself, like having a stressful day, of course, I had to have more Kettle Corn, because why not just really make the already hard day I'm having even harder. And when I have half a bag of Kettle Corn, I feel like my stomach hurts. I have like my skin crawls, and I have the worst night's sleep, right? Well, in doing that, I am not giving myself the self-care that I need, because I'm now affecting tonight's sleep, which means I am not loving myself for the whole day and night, which is going to affect tomorrow, right? So getting enough rest is self-care. That is self-love. And I get really I in researching this, I was really excited, because I find myself, when I lead my retreats, or I lead some of these workshops that I do, like talking to people about, like, why it's so important that they go for a walk in the morning, if that's what they want to do, they want to walk in the morning. Why is it so important? Why is it so important they do Pilates? Because doing activities that help you sleep well, move well, be pain free, are all an act of self-love, and every time I see people not doing it in modernist oftentimes for others, what I'm seeing in the room is like a lack of self-love, and it's limiting how much you can love others. I'm just gonna say it, right? Lesley Logan 8:22  Okay. Boundary setting. So knowing your limits and saying no when necessary to protect your well being like setting boundaries and upholding those boundaries is self-love. We had a great episode about boundaries with Tanya Dalton. I still really love and recommend that episode. It's so, so good. And what I will say is I know that I come across as someone who is like the strictest of boundaries. I'm gonna tell you right now, I still feel bad when I have to uphold those boundaries, but I know I have to uphold the boundaries because I love myself so much. I know I cannot. I cannot go beyond my limits and still be the person I need to be tomorrow for all the people, right? I will let more people down tomorrow if I let go of my boundaries today, right? All right. Self-respect is self-love. Hvonoring your needs and not sacrificing your well being to please others. Self-respect is self-love. And I I think like we can all nod along and then go, ooh, am I respecting myself? And I will say, the older I get, the easier self-respect is for me to do. The younger I was, the harder it was, right? Because there's like, things that you're like, trying to prove, and you don't want to be liked, and there's all these different things. And so I would just say, like, you know, please explore self-respect with yourself, because if you don't have that, that's like your boundary setting, your self-care, your compassion, your acceptance, I think, is all going to fall under, like the actions you take to respect yourself and then positive self-talk, but consciously replacing negative self-talk with more positive and supportive affirmations. And by the way, if you listen to habit series, it's really hard to do. It's really hard to replace the negative self-talk with positive words, because you have to first, then be aware of the negative self-talk, and you have to, like, get quicker at catching it. So it might take you a whole day right now to catch yourself being an ass to yourself. And then as you are like, okay, I want to have a better, positive self-talk, self-respect, self-compassion, self-care. So that's acceptance, blah, blah, blah. So then maybe you take some of the tools that we're doing, and all of a sudden you realize, whoa, I caught myself talking negatively to myself in half a day. Well, most people are gonna get mad at themselves it took half a day. What you have to do is actually celebrate that it only took half a day, and it can get better. Then it's gonna take you three hours, and then it's gonna take you an hour, and this can take you 30 minutes, and take you three minutes, and it's gonna take you three seconds, that can take years. So give yourself the space and grace and have some positive self-talk and find ways to replace negative things, or maybe tell a friend, like, if you hear me talking about it myself, I need you to do something. Lesley Logan 10:43  In Cambodia, we have a lot of girls who are apologizing all the time. So as soon as anyone said, I'm sorry, we'd also scream, not helpful, not helpful. You know, and it was, it became something we laughed about. It was so funny, we actually realized, like, wow, a lot of times when I'm saying I'm sorry, I really mean, excuse me, right? And that's a better way to replace it. Okay, so why does this matter? Like, why is it important to have any self-love? So what the therapists and psychologists and brain people are saying is, it is a foundation for a happy and fulfilled life, right?Lesley Logan 11:14  So what I interpret that is we can't be it till we see it and just sort of like ourselves. Like, what I don't want you to do is not have that self-love, that's like true self-love, and then envision a woman who you think is going to be the thing you should be being it until you see and you go and be it till you see it, but she also doesn't love herself. Like, that'd mean you get all the destination, and you didn't, you didn't make sure it was like, you know what I mean? Like you just become more of something else, but you're not in love with yourself along the way. And so I definitely want to make sure that as you be it till you see it, part of that is loving yourself like how and maybe that's your work this year is like, I'm gonna be it till I see it in self-love, right? Maybe it's not just like a whole person. Maybe it's an area. Lesley Logan 11:57  Self-love increases self-confidence, self-worth and resilience. And I was like, oh, that's so of course, like, yes, I believe that confidence comes from keeping the commitments you said you would to yourself, okay? It's very easy for a lot of you to keep commitments to other people. So I was very specific, keeping the commitments to yourself that you said you would. That is where self-confidence comes from. But to do that, you have to have all these different areas of self-compassion, self-care, self-love, boundaries, right, self-respect. So when you have self-love, it increases your self-confidence, your self-worth and resilience. And I was like, yes, oh my gosh, that is such an easier way of getting towards having self-confidence, right? It's loving yourself. It leads to healthy relationships with others. You know, we often attract people who mirror a lot about how we feel about ourselves. And like, oh my God, isn't it so embarrassing to, like, look back at the boyfriends you have when you're younger? You're like, what were you thinking? But also, if you think about, like, wow, that's the amount of love I was willing to give myself from myself. So of course, that's what I was willing to accept from somebody else you know. And so if you are in some ways trying to be it till you see it in having a loving, wonderful relationship, I would definitely do some inventory and some self-reflection around what is going on with your self-love. And then another thing of why it's so important is a lack of self-love can contribute to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, depression and burnout. We're gonna have a series on burnout. So of course, this is going to have an overlap with that.Lesley Logan 13:23  But, you know, I have always said, like, burnout happens when, in the Pilates industry, it happens a lot when people are under-charging and over, you know, working and, yeah, they did that because they have a lack of self-love. Because if you had self-love, you would be charging your worth and keeping your boundaries. Right? Like, a lack of self-love can contribute to feeling of inadequacy. And so like, with all the people with self, imposter syndrome, and I know there's people saying imposter syndrome is, like, made up, but also, like, sure, maybe it is. And also, there's a ton of people who feel inadequate, have anxiety, which is basically fear, okay? Gay Hendricks, in his book says anxiety and fear are the same thing. And depression, well, of course, I mean, I think you can love yourself and still have a low day, so I'm not going to say you won't ever be depressed, but it is going to contribute to those feelings. And so I do wonder, like, if the more we have some self-respect, self-compassion, have positive self-talk, how that is going to improve our feelings of around us, like, does it actually mean that your imposter syndrome just becomes less and less and maybe you only feel it when you're brand new at something? I believe that's it. That's why self I think self-love is even more important than I thought when we started doing the series. Like, I was like, oh yeah, of course, we have to have self-love. Let's figure out how to help people do that. And then I'm like, oh my God, this is so the most important fucking thing we can all be doing. Lesley Logan 14:41  Okay. So what can self-love look like? So some of this stuff is going to sound redundant, but again, I'm saying it all because I think we need to hear the same things in different ways. So some of you might be like, oh, got it. I gotta work on my boundaries. I gotta work on my self-talk. Gone, done. You don't need any more. And some of us are like, okay, I need all these things. But what does it look like? And this is where I am always like, okay, tell me the how. I got it. I'm in. I love it all. I co-sign. Tell me how, right. I'm a how girl. So what does self-love mean to you, and what does it look like? So it can mean talking to and about yourself with love. So, like, one of the things you could do is like, notice this week how you talk about yourself. Are you talking about all the things you messed up when you tell a friend about how the day went? Are you talking about how you, like, did something really amazing, right? Talking to and about yourself with love. I walk around this house and I like, do different things, like, oh my God, wow, I just connected that to that I'm so amazing. Like, I get really pleased with myself when, like, I had to move my Reformer the other day without Brad and I took the carriage out, stood inside the frame, squatted down, like I was doing a little like deadlift, and then, like, move the frame and put the thing out. I'm like, so strong. I'm so glad I could be independent. Like that, that is an act of self love, that kind of talk, right? So you, these are, like, there's little things you can do that in every single day, little ways you can do that in every single day. Lesley Logan 16:01  Prioritizing yourself. That self-love looks like prioritizing yourself. Self-love looks like giving yourself a break from self-judgment. So maybe you start to notice you're judging yourself, and you're like, I gotta replace it with positive words. What if you just didn't? What if you just stopped just to go, okay, I'm gonna set a timer for 15 minutes and go do something else, think of something else, like, take a break from the judgment. Okay, maybe it means getting rid of mirrors for a bit. Or, you know, things like, if that, where in your life are you actually judging yourself the most? How can you like? Is there a way you can take a pause from that project? Is there a way that you can set yourself up for success? You're actually like, get like, you can actually give yourself a break from the self-judgment. Self-love can look like trusting yourself, trusting yourself. I think a lot of us get really excited about a decision we make, and then we ask other people how they feel about that, and then we change our decision based on others. And look, I change my decisions a lot based on input from others when I'm like working on a project with the team, whatever. But like, that's not what I'm talking about. Yes, if someone gives you better information, you should bring that in and but also, if you know that you need to sleep for seven hours, and other people are like, oh, I can't believe you only need to sleep for seven hours, trusting yourself is way better than going, hmm, I guess I'm wrong. Maybe. I mean, they said I should sleep for eight hours. If you know, what is it you need. Gotta trust yourself, right? Like, that's some of the best things you can do. I found, like, you know, Brad and I've been like, advocating for our health a lot lately. And one of the things I've noticed that when I talk to my doctors in a way that has I'm advocating myself. I have the paperwork to say, like, when I sleep this many hours a night, I feel like X, Y and Z in the morning. And when I sleep for this many hours a night, I feel like this. And when I do blah, blah, blah, I feel like this. When I do this, when I talk like that, they don't doubt me. They actually go, okay, so what I'm hearing is blank, and what that sounds like is when you do X, Y and Z. So because I'm trusting myself, I'm not going, you know, I mean, when I sleep this many hours, I feel the best when I sleep this many hours, I don't like, I'm not doubting myself, I'm trusting myself. And then, therefore, my doctor and I can work as a team together. And so what I'm saying is, like, oftentimes we don't give off that we trust ourselves. And so other people feel like, Oh, you're asking a question you want me to put in. You want me to like, I'm going to give you some suggestions. And then that doesn't help with the trust, right? Self-love looks like being true to yourself, being true to yourself. And, you know, that goes, that goes hand in hand with one thing we're gonna talk about in a second. So I'll tell that's right when I get to that one. But I just want to say, like, being true to yourself. So if you don't, if you don't know how to be true to yourself, I really need you to take some time. Frances Naudé's episode is around the same one dropping, and she talks a lot about how, like, you have to live at your highest self. And she has some tips on like, how do you be true to yourself? How do you trust yourself? Being nice to yourself is a way to look at self-love. So if you have self-love, you are nice to yourself. You're wondering what self-love looks like, be nice to yourself. What do you if you know you need to get up and go get a glass of water, go do that. That is being nice to yourself, that is listening to yourself, is trusting yourself, right? I used to like, okay, so when I was teaching Pilates, I would go to the bathroom between every single client. Now that I work at a desk most of the time, I have found myself falling into that ADHD thing where I just keep working until like, oh my God, like, I finally have earned the right to go to the bathroom. And someone like voted me and going, ADHD, ladies, you don't need to earn the right to go to the bathroom. Just go to the bathroom. Being nice to yourself is going to the bathroom. It's just like getting up, hitting pause, and that is self-love. That is self-love. Okay, so do you see how, like, all of a sudden, self love becomes so much easier? Yes, some of these things are harder to do, break, taking a break from self-judgment, especially if you've been doing it for your whole life. But you can also just simply be nice to yourself, and that could kick off the self-love ball and domino. Lesley Logan 20:00  All right, setting healthy boundaries. So, at the be true to yourself. One of the things I know about me is I do need time alone. And we had my in-laws came to visit. Was so much fun, but also, like with them here, it meant that I didn't have a lot of time by myself, and so I didn't talk to any of my friends or other family members during that time, not because I didn't want to, but because I knew that I needed the times I could have alone, I needed them alone. Being true to myself was making sure I had time as an introvert to recharge and refuel, and it meant I needed to keep my boundaries up and not give in to oh my God, I feel so bad. I haven't talked to that person. Of course I feel bad. I'm still gonna feel bad, but also I'm not. I can't feel bad and tired and shitty. So loving myself, being true to myself, understanding like, yes, it is. I'm sure some people think it's weird and annoying. I need to have so much time by myself, but I need to do that so I can be there for others, and setting healthy boundaries around that is important. We also, then had a friend who needed to use our guest bedroom 48 hours later. And of course I wanted to help go, yeah, stay as long as you want. No, we just had too many in our, we had two people in our house for 10 days. We have people coming to our house next week. I can't do that, so here's what I can do. And do you want to know something? They're okay with it. They're totally fine with it. They didn't go, oh, what a bitch, like, what a bitch. No, because they, too, have healthy boundaries because they love themselves. So self-love is setting healthy boundaries and keeping them. Lesley Logan 21:24  Forgiving yourself when you aren't being true or nice to yourself. So I love that this is like at the end, because it's like, oh my God, I, like, by time you hear all this, you'd be like, well, here's all the different ways I didn't love myself today. So, forgive yourself, and that is an act of self-love for you today, and you'll just do better the next time, right? So, and I think that this is a really good, like, maybe thing to write down or think about it, just remember that self-love isn't just about loving the easy parts of ourselves. It means loving every single part of ourselves. So even the inner critic, like, in fact, maybe the inner critic just needs to be loved a little bit, right? So, why is it so hard? Why is it so hard to love ourselves? I feel like, oh my God, it's actually just like Lesley just gave out so many different ways I could love myself and it should be so easy. Like, why is it so hard? So this is, well, the patriarchy, we're just gonna say. But seriously, women often struggle with self-love due to societal expectations to prioritize others. Perfectionism is another reason why we have a struggle with self-love and being bombarded with unrealistic beauty and life standards. So it is hard to love ourselves when every single time you look in the magazines and on TV and all this, you're being shown what the standard for beauty and being a wonderful woman is, and you feel like you aren't able to match and meet those so of course, it's hard. You won't. It's like, how you have to like, I mean, if the resiliency you have to have to like, see those people and go, I don't need to look like them, and I'm still amazing. That takes time. So if you are struggling with comparing yourself to what society says is what we're should be living up to, you are not alone. It takes a long time it and what I would say is, like, go back to the things that we did, and what is something easy you can do. Because as you start to build your self love muscle, becomes easier to not fall for the expectations of society, which, by the way, isn't going to be there for you, right? Even if you reach whatever they think the bar is, they're gonna move the bar anyways. So past negative experiences make it hard to love ourselves, right, such as criticism, trauma, feeling undervalued, these things can also deeply impact self-worth. Lesley Logan 23:22  So like, let's be real. Who, the stories that you got from people who were around you in your life at pivotal times, and the experiences you had, those things can affect you, especially if you had a family member or friend who told you you weren't beautiful, you weren't lovable, you weren't pretty. If you heard that and then something like, hey, I feel that, and I really do hope that you are not just doing self-reflection, but actively seeking someone who can help you, because you are so worthy of self-love, and as you've already learned, self-love is so important when it comes to all the other things you want to have in your life, it'd be really hard to have an amazing, wonderful partner who loves you if you don't love yourself, because it's gonna be hard for you to feel and believe that love is true. I'm not saying you can't attract it or that you don't have that. I'm saying like it's just going to be hard for you to believe that it's real and true. Right now I want you to have that, okay? Additionally, cultural conditioning can teach women to be quiet, put others first, and feel guilty for practicing self-care, making self-love seem selfish or out of reach. And I will say that this last part is really important to me. As a woman business owner who serves female mostly, and a few good men clients in our membership, it's online. Women will cancel the membership because of all the demands on them that they feel from others, and they have a hard time putting themselves first because they feel selfish or indulgent or that, you know, I just like, you know, I can't do all of it, so if that's why I do none of it, you know, or I'm only using five minutes at a time, so I should cancel this. The male members never do that. That's not why they quit. They quit because, like, oh, I'm taking three months off for. Surgery, that's when they quit. So I say that because, ladies, we have to take the perfectionism off the table. Love ourselves, be proud of the few minutes we do do and then prioritize those. It is essential. And if you didn't listen to the episode with Amy Ledin, the most recent one we had in December, go listen to that. She's a mom of five with cancer, and she's kicking ass, and she prioritizes her movement. And, you know, I'm not saying that you have to do everything like she does, but I want you to have an example of people can be busy, can have hard lives, and still can love themselves enough to put themselves first, right? Lesley Logan 25:35  All right. So the other things, obviously, we have societal, cultural pressures. So there's prioritizing others. Women are often socialized to be caregivers. Definitely have to be the caregivers. They're often because we are still paid less. They're often the ones that need to leave the workplace, if that's what's needed in a family, someone gets sick. We obviously know we have a lot of women who listen to the show, who are in the sandwich generation, and so it's really, it really does mean that you put other people first, and over time, that means maybe not loving yourself as much as you could be, and that is affecting other areas in your life and your belief in yourself and what you can do and what's possible. So I'm not saying don't take care of others. What I'm saying is you have to prioritize yourself first and then take care of others. Because truly, your ability to care for others isn't a Venn diagram of what you can actually do, and where I see a lot of people struggle with that, we'll talk more about it in burnout series when they give more, right? So love yourself enough. Prioritize yourself over others. Other reasons why it's really hard for us as women is unrealistic expectations. We talked about that with society, the standard of beauty, blah, blah, blah. Oh my God, the motherhood bull crap. Oh my, the Instagram on, on, you know, all this trad wife stuff like, if that's what you want, that's what you want, that's great. But ladies, you do not have to be that as a mom, you can be whatever you want, right? So what are these unrealistic expectations people are putting on us suck? So what are the expectations you want for yourself? I can be true to that. That's self-love, right? And then obviously society has this immense pressure for us to be perfect. The past experience, in personal history, in your childhood experience, so remember, that's the childhood experience you had. Those like early experience with caregivers and emotional neglect or inconsistent caregiving, that can lead to a belief that you're not inherently lovable, which makes it really hard to love yourself. So a great book to explore, this is, What Happened to You? I love this book is with Oprah and Dr. Bruce Perry, and I think it's a really great way to have empathy for yourself, but also empathy for others. So obviously, so many people experience trauma, especially as children, that can affect your ability to love yourself. There could have been a life event. You could have gone self-love all day long, and then a life event happened. And so one, be, have so much compassion for yourself. And then let's figure out where, where that happened, and what are these things that we talked about so far that could help you work on that self-love? Feeling undervalued. So you know, when we're underpaid or under supported, or we're not aware of our worth and demanding that because we don't have our boundaries up, we're gonna feel undervalued. That's going to affect our self-love, right? That's really hard. So, and then there's internalized beliefs, the shoulds the guilt or the need for external validation. So if you are someone who is needing external validation to love yourself, it is going to be hard, right? So we do have to figure out a way around that. That might be you have to do something within therapy to do that, because many women tie their worth to external achievements and validation they receive from others, rather than internal sense of self-acceptance. And so if you don't have an internal sense of self-acceptance. It's hard to have that self-compassion, and if you're always waiting for someone else to love you before you love yourself, it makes it really hard to receive that love, right? Lesley Logan 28:28  So okay, in the next episode, we're going to go around some tools for self-love. There's some great books that I want to give you. There's some mantras I want to give you, but what I'd love for you to do as your homework, as I would just love for you to like reflect upon this, maybe listen to it again. What were the things that stood out in the self-love that surprised you, or maybe good and you're like, oh, that's, that's where I'm struggling right now. I would love to know, I'd love for you to share it. You can share it via beitpod.com/questions. You can bring it as a you know, just share that. You can leave it in a review. You can comment on this video on YouTube or on our Instagram, because I would love to hear like what a part of self-love is easy for you, what part is a challenge for you. And by the way, my ADHD ladies, it is harder for us because internalized negative feedback. Women with ADHD may have a lifetime of being misunderstood or criticized for symptoms leading them to believe that they are inherently flawed, and so a lot of women with ADHD are diagnosed late, if at all, and so they're often like, there's like, oh my God, there's something wrong with me. I don't I don't fit in the way people do, and so they have a hard time with self-love. So hi, my ADHD ladies, this part, I wanted to make sure you knew it. It can be harder for us, right? Blaming oneself for failures like because there's a tendency to attribute failures to internal flaws and successes to luck, personal factors, which damages self-esteem, which makes it hard to have self-love. There's a hightened sensitivity to rejection. So women with ADHD are often more highly sensitive to feedback or rejection, leading them to interpret things more negatively. And personally, I see you, and that means it's harder to have self-compassion, right? So, and then also, women with ADHD, often go through a shame cycle. This sensitivity can lead to a cycle of shame and self-criticism, making it difficult to accept strengths or celebrate achievements, which is why we have a wins day. We win on Friday, like we have a wins day, win, W-I-N-S day on purpose, because I need that for me to keep having the self-love it because it's hard for me, like it's hard for me to go ever, like with the ADHD, with all that stuff, it's like, can be so hard to celebrate things until they're done. So I purposely have this in place so that there is a celebration of wins every single Friday for all of us, so that we can have, maybe we can get rid of that shame cycle just a little bit right, and have more ease and self-love. And then lastly, societal expectations. So on top of what we talked about, societal expectations on women in general, combined with undiagnosed or late diagnosed ADHD symptoms, can lead to feelings of measuring up and harsh self judgment. That harsh self-judgment, as we know, makes it hard to have self-love, self-compassion, kind words. Lesley Logan 30:55  You're all so amazing. I really hope that you guys are liking these little series. If there are other ones, you have topics you want us to bring up, or guest we want to bring in, please let us know. Right now, what part of the self-love comes easy for you, what part is hard, and then stay tuned to our next episode, where we'll go over some tools. Thanks so much until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 31:14  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 31:57  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 32:02  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 32:06  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 32:13  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 32:16  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Andrea Samadi revisits a conversation with neuroscientist Dr. Baland Jalal about how curiosity launched his career and how transitional sleep states fuel creativity. The episode explores sleep paralysis research and the hypnagogic window—the moments before sleep and after waking when the brain makes unexpected connections. This week, Episode 384—based on our review of Episode 224, recorded in June 2022—we'll explore: ✔ Why learning, creativity, and curiosity depend on a regulated nervous system ✔ How sleep—especially REM—creates the conditions for insight and problem-solving ✔ What happens in the brain when focus shuts down and imagination turns on ✔ Why safety, rhythm, and rest are prerequisites for learning—not rewards after it ✔ How understanding sleep changes the way we approach performance, education, and growth Listeners learn practical tips for capturing insights at the edge of sleep, setting intentions before bed, and protecting morning silence to preserve creative flashes. The episode emphasizes that learning and creativity emerge best when the nervous system feels safe and regulated. This episode launches Season 15's Phase 1 focus on regulation and safety, framing sleep, rhythm, and emotional regulation as the essential foundation for motivation, learning, and sustained performance. Welcome back to Season 15 of the Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast. I'm Andrea Samadi, and here we bridge the science behind social and emotional learning, emotional intelligence, and practical neuroscience—so you can create measurable improvements in well-being, achievement, productivity, and results. When we launched this podcast seven years ago, it was driven by a question I had never been taught to ask— not in school, not in business, and not in life: If results matter—and they matter now more than ever—how exactly are we using our brain to make these results happen? Most of us were taught what to do. Very few of us were taught how to think under pressure, how to regulate emotion, how to sustain motivation, or even how to produce consistent results without burning out. That question led me into a deep exploration of the mind–brain–results connection—and how neuroscience applies to everyday decisions, conversations, and performance. That's why this podcast exists. Each week, we bring you leading experts to break down complex science and translate it into practical strategies you can apply immediately. If you've been with us through Season 14, you may have felt something shift. That season wasn't about collecting ideas. It was about integrating these ideas into our daily life. Across conversations on neuroscience, social and emotional learning, sleep, stress, exercise, nutrition, and mindset frameworks—from voices like Bob Proctor, José Silva, Dr. Church, Dr. John Medina, and others—one thing became clear: These aren't separate tools. They're parts of one operating system. When the brain, body, and emotions are aligned, performance stops feeling forced—and starts to feel sustainable. Season 14 showed us what alignment looks like in real life. And now we move into Season 15 that is about understanding how that alignment is built—so we can build it ourselves, using predictable, science-backed principles. Because alignment doesn't happen all at once. It happens by using a sequence. By repeating this sequence over and over again, until magically (or predictably) we notice our results have changed. So this season, we're revisiting past conversations—not to repeat them—but to understand how they fit together, so we can replicate them ourselves. Because the brain doesn't develop skills in isolation. Learning doesn't happen in isolation. And neither does performance, resilience, or well-being. The brain operates as a set of interconnected systems. When one system is out of balance, everything else is affected. So Season 15 we've organized as a review roadmap, where each episode explores one foundational brain system—and each phase builds on the one before it. Season 15 Roadmap: Phase 1 — Regulation & Safety Phase 2 — Neurochemistry & Motivation Phase 3 — Movement, Learning & Cognition Phase 4 — Perception, Emotion & Social Intelligence Phase 5 — Integration, Insight & Meaning Today we begin with Phase One: Regulation and Safety. Because before learning can happen, before curiosity can emerge, before motivation or growth is possible— the brain must feel safe. That's where we are today as we embark on this journey together. I encourage us all to take notes, and apply what each phase is encouraging us to do. This is not just for you, the listener, I'm going right back myself, and revisiting each interview with a new lens. PHASE 1: REGULATION & SAFETY Staples: Sleep + Stress Regulation Core Question: Is the nervous system safe enough to learn? Anchor Episodes Episode 384 — Baland Jalal How learning begins: curiosity, sleep, imagination, creativity Bruce Perry “What happened to you?” — trauma, rhythm, relational safety Sui Wong Autonomic balance, lifestyle medicine, brain resilience Rohan Dixit HRV, real-time self-regulation, nervous system literacy EPISODE 384 — REVIEW OF EP 224 (JUNE 2022) Revisiting Our Interview with Baland Jalal Today's Episode 384 we go back to Episode 224[i], recorded in June 2022, featuring Danish neuroscientist Dr. Baland Jalal—a researcher, author, and one of the world's leading experts on sleep paralysis. Dr. Jalal is a neuroscientist affiliated with Harvard University's Department of Psychology and was previously a Visiting Researcher at Cambridge University Medical School, where he earned his PhD. His work has been featured in The New York Times, Washington Post, BBC, NBC News, The Guardian, Forbes, Reuters, PBS (NOVA), and many others. He also writes for TIME Magazine, Scientific American, Big Think, and The Boston Globe. Since our original interview, I've watched Dr. Jalal's influence expand globally. Most recently, he appeared on Jordan B. Peterson's podcast[ii], discussing Dreams, Nightmares, and Neuroscience, and on Lewis Howes' School of Greatness[iii], where he explored Dreams, Lucid Dreaming, and the Neuroscience of Consciousness—an episode that truly stretched Lewis's thinking. What stood out to me most—then and now—was Dr. Jalal's transparency about learning. At the beginning of his interview with Lewis Howes, Dr. Jalal shared how a single experience—his desire to understand his own episodes of sleep paralysis more than 20 years ago—sparked a lifelong curiosity. That curiosity led him to his local library in Copenhagen and ultimately transformed his entire career path in ways he could never have imagined as a young man spending time on the streets. That honesty resonated deeply with me. Before Google, I remember sitting in a local library in Arizona around that same time, trying to understand the mysteries of the world—from the Great Pyramid of Giza to Stonehenge—reading everything I could get my hands on. Like Dr. Jalal, I was curious about many things I didn't understand, but my path didn't start with neuroscience or learning science, which came later for me. We all begin somewhere. Let's go to our first clip from Dr. Baland Jalal, where he shares how his love of learning truly began.

We're sharing a special episode today from our new Feisty Media family to help you deal with and take away some action items for the collective trauma many of us are going through right now, whether it's new for you or simply heightened.Along with being a sports psychologist & therapist in her own right, the Feisty Women's Performance podcast host Dr. Erin Ayala also lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota — which has been at the center of the news over the last month since it became the target of the largest immigration enforcement action to date in the U.S. Thousands of federal agents have patrolled the streets and detained residents, and, over this past weekend, shot and killed a second bystander — leading to hundreds of thousands of people protesting in Minneapolis and around the country.In this tense environment, how do we show up as athletes, as members of our community, as our best and healthiest selves?Erin has brought together a group of experts and invites you to join them — Dr. Tess Kilwein, Dr. Quincy Guinadi, and Christine Bright — as they discuss how these experiences shape mental health and performance, and how you can respond to stress and trauma whether you're going through it right now with the news or you're dealing with your personal challenges.Key Takeaways: • What is collective trauma? Learn how collective trauma impacts communities and individuals, and why this understanding is crucial for athletes and coaches.• Recognize that intentional rest in times of stress can be essential for long-term sustainability.• Know that movement and sport can be powerful tools in community healing.• Get tips on how to navigate the complexities of wanting to help without feeling performative or overwhelmed, and how to effectively engage in difficult conversations without shame or guilt.Don't be perfect. Be brave.Guest Introductions: • Dr. Tess Kilwein: A board-certified clinical, health, and sport psychologist with expertise in mental performance and athlete wellness.• Dr. Quincy Guinadi: A postdoctoral resident specializing in identity, mental health, and the experiences of marginalized communities.• Christine Bright: Lead consultant at the Center for Healing and Justice through Sport, focusing on trauma-informed coaching and community support.Resources Mentioned:• Center for Healing and Justice through Sport• Nothing Heals like Sport Playbook• "What Happened to You" by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah• Beyond Ally by Dr. Maysa Akbar• Find ways to help at standwithminnesota.com• The Feisty Women's Performance podcast

In this special episode, your Feisty Women's Performance podcast host Dr. Erin Ayala brings together a group of experts on mental health to talk about the science and psychology of stress and collective trauma.Along with being a sports psychologist & therapist in her own right, Erin also lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota — which has been at the center of the news over the last month since it became the target of the largest immigration enforcement action to date in the U.S. Thousands of federal agents have patrolled the streets and detained residents, and, over this past weekend, shot and killed a second bystander — leading to hundreds of thousands of people protesting in Minneapolis and around the country.In this tense environment, how do we show up as athletes, as members of our community, as our best and healthiest selves?Join Dr. Tess Kilwein, Dr. Quincy Guinadi, and Christine Bright as they discuss how these experiences shape mental health and performance, and how you can respond to stress and trauma — whether you're going through it right now with the news or you're dealing with your challenges.Key Takeaways: • What is collective trauma? Learn how collective trauma impacts communities and individuals, and why this understanding is crucial for athletes and coaches.• Recognize that intentional rest in times of stress can be essential for long-term sustainability.• Know that movement and sport can be powerful tools in community healing.• Get tips on how to navigate the complexities of wanting to help without feeling performative or overwhelmed, and how to effectively engage in difficult conversations without shame or guilt.Don't be perfect. Be brave.Guest Introductions: • Dr. Tess Kilwein: A board-certified clinical, health, and sport psychologist with expertise in mental performance and athlete wellness.• Dr. Quincy Guinadi: A postdoctoral resident specializing in identity, mental health, and the experiences of marginalized communities.• Christine Bright: Lead consultant at the Center for Healing and Justice through Sport, focusing on trauma-informed coaching and community support.Resources Mentioned:• Center for Healing and Justice through Sport• Nothing Heals like Sport Playbook• "What Happened to You" by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah• Beyond Ally by Dr. Maysa Akbar• Find ways to help at standwithminnesota.com

In this special episode, your Feisty Women's Performance podcast host Dr. Erin Ayala brings together a group of experts on mental health to talk about the science and psychology of stress and collective trauma.Along with being a sports psychologist & therapist in her own right, Erin also lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota — which has been at the center of the news over the last month since it became the target of the largest immigration enforcement action to date in the U.S. Thousands of federal agents have patrolled the streets and detained residents, and, over this past weekend, shot and killed a second bystander — leading to hundreds of thousands of people protesting in Minneapolis and around the country.In this tense environment, how do we show up as athletes, as members of our community, as our best and healthiest selves?Join Dr. Tess Kilwein, Dr. Quincy Guinadi, and Christine Bright as they discuss how these experiences shape mental health and performance, and how you can respond to stress and trauma — whether you're going through it right now with the news or you're dealing with your challenges.Key Takeaways: • What is collective trauma? Learn how collective trauma impacts communities and individuals, and why this understanding is crucial for athletes and coaches.• Recognize that intentional rest in times of stress can be essential for long-term sustainability.• Know that movement and sport can be powerful tools in community healing.• Get tips on how to navigate the complexities of wanting to help without feeling performative or overwhelmed, and how to effectively engage in difficult conversations without shame or guilt.Don't be perfect. Be brave.Guest Introductions: • Dr. Tess Kilwein: A board-certified clinical, health, and sport psychologist with expertise in mental performance and athlete wellness.• Dr. Quincy Guinadi: A postdoctoral resident specializing in identity, mental health, and the experiences of marginalized communities.• Christine Bright: Lead consultant at the Center for Healing and Justice through Sport, focusing on trauma-informed coaching and community support.Resources Mentioned:• Center for Healing and Justice through Sport• Nothing Heals like Sport Playbook• "What Happened to You" by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah• Beyond Ally by Dr. Maysa Akbar• Find ways to help at standwithminnesota.com

In this special episode, your Feisty Women's Performance podcast host Dr. Erin Ayala brings together a group of experts on mental health to talk about the science and psychology of stress and collective trauma.Along with being a sports psychologist & therapist in her own right, Erin also lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota — which has been at the center of the news over the last month since it became the target of the largest immigration enforcement action to date in the U.S. Thousands of federal agents have patrolled the streets and detained residents, and, over this past weekend, shot and killed a second bystander — leading to hundreds of thousands of people protesting in Minneapolis and around the country.In this tense environment, how do we show up as athletes, as members of our community, as our best and healthiest selves?Join Dr. Tess Kilwein, Dr. Quincy Guinadi, and Christine Bright as they discuss how these experiences shape mental health and performance, and how you can respond to stress and trauma — whether you're going through it right now with the news or you're dealing with your challenges.Key Takeaways: • What is collective trauma? Learn how collective trauma impacts communities and individuals, and why this understanding is crucial for athletes and coaches.• Recognize that intentional rest in times of stress can be essential for long-term sustainability.• Know that movement and sport can be powerful tools in community healing.• Get tips on how to navigate the complexities of wanting to help without feeling performative or overwhelmed, and how to effectively engage in difficult conversations without shame or guilt.Don't be perfect. Be brave.Guest Introductions: • Dr. Tess Kilwein: A board-certified clinical, health, and sport psychologist with expertise in mental performance and athlete wellness.• Dr. Quincy Guinadi: A postdoctoral resident specializing in identity, mental health, and the experiences of marginalized communities.• Christine Bright: Lead consultant at the Center for Healing and Justice through Sport, focusing on trauma-informed coaching and community support.Resources Mentioned:• Center for Healing and Justice through Sport• Nothing Heals like Sport Playbook• "What Happened to You" by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah• Beyond Ally by Dr. Maysa Akbar• Find ways to help at standwithminnesota.comRegister for our Webinar: A Coach's Guide to What Female Endurance Athletes Actually Need https://feisty.co/seminar/Sign up to Receive The Feisty 40+ Newsletter: https://feisty.co/newsletters/feisty-40/Keep up to date on all women's sports:https://feisty.co/newsletters/the-feist/Follow us on Instagram:@feisty_womens_performance

Post your thoughts here. If you want a reply email me at connectTFJ@yahoo.com. I look forward to hearing from you.Struggling with stress now? Who isn't?

A2 THE SHOW #595 Our next guest is Mounia Akl, a Lebanese director and writer whose journey from architecture to filmmaking is driven by a deep passion for storytelling. Known for her acclaimed debut feature Costa Brava, Lebanon, Mounia joins us to talk about trusting the creative process, balancing hope and cynicism, and telling intimate human stories against larger social and environmental realities. In this episode, we explore family and sisterhood, collaboration and creative freedom, the emotional truth behind character-driven films, and how filmmaking can build empathy across cultures—all while reflecting on love, vulnerability, and the importance of peace.⭐WEBSITE: https://www.mouniaakl.com/about⭐IG: mounia.akl

In this episode of the Revenue Builders podcast, returning guest Doug Holladay joins the show to explore why forgiveness is not just a personal virtue, but a critical leadership skill. Drawing from Doug's book Rethinking Success and decades of leadership experience, the conversation reframes forgiveness as a way to reclaim mental bandwidth, build trust-driven cultures, and prevent resentment from quietly eroding performance. The discussion moves beyond theory into real stories, practical distinctions, and leadership behaviors that directly impact how teams operate and scale.Doug Holladay is an author, educator, and leadership advisor known for helping leaders examine the internal patterns that shape culture, decision-making, and long-term success. He is the author of Rethinking Success and a frequent contributor to conversations on leadership, humility, and organizational health.Resources mentioned:Rethinking Success by Doug HolladayThe Wounded Healer by Henri NouwenWhat Happened to You? by Bruce Perry and Oprah WinfreyKey takeaways from this episode:01:33 Why holding onto resentment quietly drains a leader's focus, energy, and decision-making capacity10:45 What most leaders get wrong about culture, and why how you handle conflict matters more than what's written on the wall12:28 The difference between forgiveness and reconciliation -- and why waiting for an apology keeps leaders stuck23:34 What forgiveness actually looks like in real leadership moments (and why it's not about fairness or closure)26:44 Why leaders who avoid examining their own role in conflict rarely move forward – even when they're “right”35:42 Why humility isn't weakness -- and how strong leaders redirect power instead of using it defensively49:13 How shifting from “What's wrong with them?” to “What happened to them?” changes the way leaders respond under pressure Hosted by five-time CRO John McMahon and Force Management Co-Founder John Kaplan, the Revenue Builders podcast goes behind the scenes with the sales leaders who have been there, done that, and seen the results. This show is brought to you by Force Management. We help companies improve sales performance, executing their growth strategy at the point of sale. Connect with Us: LinkedInYouTubeForce Management

After Bruce recently joined me for another ah-mazing chat, I thought ya'll might appreciate a throwback to our first conversation on the show... So, here ya go... Enjoy!Is dissociation actually a superpower that's been given a bad rap? Why does trauma make some memories so vivid, yet lock others away in a seemingly inaccessible vault? Can how we view our story determine whether we experience post-traumatic growth vs post-traumatic stress disorder? Did you know it takes as little as a 10-minute traumatic experience at a very young age to permanently change brain biology? Meaning those babies turn into adults whose brains function very differently when it comes to processing stress and trauma. So many incredibly important questions, insight and perspectives and I'm still pinching myself to say that I got to delve into this conversation with the holy grail when it comes to the research around the impact of childhood abuse, neglect and trauma and the developmental effect it has on the brain, Dr. Bruce Perry. Over the last thirty years, Dr. Perry has been an active teacher, clinician and researcher in children’s mental health and the neurosciences holding a variety of academic positions. His work on the impact of abuse, neglect and trauma on the developing brain has impacted clinical practice, programs and policy across the world. Dr. Perry and Oprah Winfrey's recently released book 'What Happened To You' has had over 1 million sales and is one that I've read several times myself. Do yourself a favour and grab a copy after listening to this ep. Enjoy! SPONSORED BY TESTART FAMILY LAWYERS Website: www.testartfamilylawyers.com.au DR. BRUCE PERRY Website: https://www.bdperry.com TIFFANEE COOK Linktree: linktr.ee/rollwiththepunches Website: tiffcook.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A2 THE SHOW #594 Our next guest is Ismail Abdi — a stand-up comedian and social content creator known for his sharp, culturally relevant humor. In this episode, we dive into expat life, World Cup stories, cultural identity, Somali representation, stereotypes, and racism, as well as Dubai's evolving comedy scene. Ismail also shares how he handles criticism, finds inspiration, and uses comedy as a joyful way to connect people across cultures.⭐INSTAGRAM:  @Ismailcomic 

A2 THE SHOW #593Join us as we welcome Cyril Aris, Lebanese director, screenwriter, and member of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences®, whose feature A Sad and Beautiful World (2025) premiered at Venice and became Lebanon's Oscar® submission. Cyril opens up about choosing filmmaking over consulting, capturing Beirut's most challenging moments, and using cinema as a political and social tool. He reflects on navigating censorship, working with first-time actors, and crafting deeply human stories of love, loss, and resilience. Along the way, he shares how life experiences shape meaningful cinema and the importance of challenging global stereotypes about Beirut and Lebanese identity.IG: @cyrilarisWEBSITE: https://www.cyrilaris.com/

de Description JON LABMAN'S life's work is about helping people overcome trauma, anxiety, self-doubt and low self-esteem, while waking up to their deepest nature as the Absolute, like he did himself..Jon was traumatized at home, bullied at school, and lived in uncomprehending misery for years, including being in and out of extreme religious cults and doing many years of psychotherapy work as a client. He understands how difficult the process of change can be, because Jon lived and still lives it.He also knows how awesome the rewards of moving towards Liberation are. Jon was bound and determined to feel better, and that kept him alive and persisting through numerous 'false starts. He started working with my first psychologist at the age of 15, but didn't really take to the work until he was nearly 30. Jon started on an active spiritual path at the same time which has taken him into Judaism, evangelical and then new age Christianity, and finally into the mystical awakening traditions of the East (Hinduism, Yoga, Buddhism, etc.) He started my professional journey as an administrative and technical writing professional, but then moved into working with people, first as a Licensed Massage Therapist, where he realized that the most rewarding part of the work was listening to clients' life stories. Jon then returned to school and earned a Master's in Counseling Psychology. Since then, He's been the Director of the Trauma Treatment Program at a large agency, receiving numerous accreditations, written four books, and earned two trauma treatment certifications from the world-famous specialists Dr. Bessel van der Kolk and Dr. Bruce Perry – all while seeing clients full-time. Jon also studied Energy Healing for 3 years, got a 500-hour certification as a Yoga Teacher, and began teaching meditation and spiritual awakening in 2001. For the last 23 years,Jon been helping people move from a tortured existence to a life of peace and contentment, living from the shining center or Core of who they are.    CONTACT JON LABMAN: support@simlyawaken.com

A2 THE SHOW #592Our next guest is Dr. Bruce D. Perry, a leading child psychiatrist and neuroscientist, known for his groundbreaking work on trauma, brain development, and healing. In this episode, Dr. Perry explores how fear, stress, technology, and trauma shape human behavior, why genuine relational connection is essential for well-being, and how early experiences influence mental health across a lifetime. From the impact of digital isolation and AI on communication to understanding brain development, emotional regulation, and resilience, this conversation offers powerful insights into what helps people heal, connect, and thrive.

For the final episode for Season 7 we take a look back at the last four years. We celebrate by brining on some of our favorite former guests including Ralph Friedgen, Johnny Holliday, Bruce Perry, Kyle Schmitt, Eddy Calkins, Andrew Chodes, Cavit Ireland and Josh Klubes!We talk about our favorite moments from the show and as always this week in Maryland Athletics.

Power struggles don't end because we find the perfect argument; they end because someone helps the room feel safe again. We unpack a practical, science-backed shift from control to connection that brings cooperation faster and with far less effort. Drawing on HeartMath's research on heart coherence, Bruce Perry's state-dependent brain science, and Ross Greene's collaborative problem solving, we show how a calm presence, a softer voice, and a few validating words can lower defenses and invite real reasoning back online.You'll hear real-life wins that make the science feel doable: a preteen upset about missing class for therapy softens with one clean reflection, and a toddler melting down for a same-day shot calms once feelings are named and a plan is promised for later. Along the way, we cut through common myths about validation, explain why arguing fuels arguing, and offer language you can use tonight. If you've been stuck between being too gentle or too harsh, this middle path—kindness plus firmness—will help you parent smarter, not harder, while building your child's resilience.If this conversation helped, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a quick review to help others find sustainable parenting tools. ✨Want more? ✨Black Friday Savings: The Calm Cooperation Toolkit & Emotional Resilience Toolkit (BIG SAVINGS): ✨Schedule a FREE 20 min clarity call with Sustainable Parenting, so we can answer any questions you may have. Together, we'll make a plan for your best next steps to have more calm & confidence in parenting - while having kids that listen!:) ✨NEW✨ pdfs and short video lessons on Respect, Bedtimes, Power Struggles and More: ON ETSY!✨ Download the FREE pdf. on getting kids to listen, for strategies that take you out of the "gentle mom - monster mom" cycle, with effective positive parenting strategies. ✨ Sign up for an upcoming LIVE ONLINE workshop with Flora, or purchase a past replay: https://sustainableparenting.com/workshop where you get 30 min. of learning and 30 min. of LIVE Q & A time, with replays sent afterwards.✨ Buy a 3 session Coaching Bundle (saving you $100) ...

This episode discusses how to create a culture of kindness in speech therapy. It gives an overview of Dr. Bruce Perry's neurosequential model as an evidence-based rationale for the connection between kindness and learning. Next, it emphasizes the importance of prioritizing kindness as soon as we begin working with a student or a group of students. This could involve placing visual kindness cues in the speech room, facilitating kind interactions between students, planning specific kindness-focused activities, reading picture books about kindness, and weaving kindness into familiar activities. The episode closes with encouragement to be kind to ourselves as well. 

The Cost of Judgment: Seeing Ourselves and Others Through Compassion Summary: In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the nature of judgment—how we judge ourselves, others, and the world around us. They unpack how the brain's natural tendency to predict and protect can lead us to make judgments based on incomplete stories or past experiences. Through real-life examples, including therapy sessions and group work, they illustrate how judgment can distort perception, breed resentment, and disconnect us from others. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn emphasize that judgment often arises when we lack understanding of a person's story. By shifting from judgment to curiosity—asking “What happened to you?” instead of “What's wrong with you?”—we open space for empathy and healing. They also explore how self-judgment impacts individuals, especially betrayed partners who internalize blame, and how learning to suspend judgment fosters emotional freedom and connection. The discussion integrates insights from Byron Katie's “The Work” and Dr. Bruce Perry & Oprah Winfrey's “What Happened to You?”, encouraging listeners to question their assumptions and replace self-condemnation with self-compassion. The episode closes with a reflective invitation: identify a situation or person you've judged, and ask, “What's the story behind this thought, emotion, or behavior?” Resources Mentioned: The Work by Byron Katie — Four powerful questions to challenge judgments and distorted beliefs. What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Dr. Bruce D. Perry & Oprah Winfrey — Exploring how understanding personal stories transforms compassion and connection. The Betrayal Bond by Dr. Patrick Carnes — Understanding trauma bonds and how early experiences shape adult patterns and self-judgment. Compassionate Accountability: A Field Guide to Building Connection and Trust by Dr. Nate Regier — For learning how to balance accountability with empathy. HumanIntimacy.com — Explore upcoming courses and events, including Rise: Hope and Healing from Sexual Betrayal, Reclaim: Healing from Pornography and Rebuilding Your Life, and the Human Intimacy Conference (March 13–14, 2026).

EVEN MORE about this episode!What if music held the power to call your soul back from the edge between life and death? In this unforgettable episode, near-death experiencer and board-certified music therapist Ellen Wier shares her remarkable journey of healing through sound. From her miraculous recovery after a head injury to her encounters with ascended masters, Ellen reveals how vibration, frequency, and music can serve as divine bridges between worlds—awakening higher consciousness and restoring the body, mind, and spirit.Together, we explore how sound healing, through methods like Guided Imagery and Music, solfeggio frequencies, and singing bowls, opens portals to deep spiritual wisdom. Ellen recounts the astonishing moment her father's intuitive choice of Disney's Sleeping Beauty soundtrack became the frequency that pulled her back to life—proof of music's sacred capacity to reconnect us with the Source.We also discuss the growing scientific validation of sound as medicine, drawing on the work of experts like Dr. Bruce Perry and Dr. Mitchell Gaynor. Discover how creativity, rhythm, and vibration can elevate human consciousness, ease emotional pain, and help us remember who we truly are. This conversation will forever change how you hear the world—and how you understand the healing power of sound.Guest Biography:Ellen Wier is a Near-Death Experiencer, lightworker, and board-certified music therapist specializing in transpersonal healing. After a near-death experience at age 12, Ellen received profound spiritual insights that inspired her lifelong mission to heal through music and vibration. She blends classical music, crystal singing bowls, chanting, and guided imagery to help others access higher states of consciousness, connect with their higher selves, and awaken to their true potential. With a Master's in Transpersonal Counseling and Music Therapy from Naropa University, Ellen bridges science and spirituality—offering transformative experiences that guide individuals toward healing, self-discovery, and harmony.Episode Chapters:(0:00:01) - Healing and Spirituality Through Sound Frequencies(0:13:21) - Bridging Science and Spirituality With Sound(0:26:12) - Unlocking Spiritual Wisdom Through Sound(0:35:13) - The Power of Sound Healing(0:39:31) - Soul Frequency and Healing Wisdom(0:49:50) - Spiritual Healing Through Music and Love➡️Subscribe to Ask Julie Ryan YouTube➡️Subscribe to Ask Julie Ryan Español YouTube➡️Subscribe to Ask Julie Ryan Português YouTube➡️Subscribe to Ask Julie Ryan Deutsch YouTube➡️Subscribe to Ask Julie Ryan Français YouTube✏️Ask Julie a Question!

In this episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy Smith talks with Utah Foster Care clinical support specialist and LCSW Les Harris about blocked care: why it happens, how it impacts foster parents, and practical steps to restore connection. Les explains how chronic stress can suppress the parenting response system, making it difficult to feel joy or affection toward a child, even when we deeply care. They discuss what blocked care looks like, why it's different from burnout, how small “doses” of positive interaction can rebuild connection, and why acceptance, playfulness, curiosity, and empathy are powerful tools for healing relationships. Resources mentioned in this episode Brain-Based Parenting by Daniel Hughes & Jonathan Baylin What Happened to You? by Dr. Bruce Perry & Oprah Winfrey Utah Foster Care Clinical Support Services Transcript: Amy: On today’s episode, we’re talking to Les Harris, a Utah foster care clinical support specialist, and LCSW about blocked care and how it affects foster parents. Welcome to Fostering Conversations. I’m your host, Amy Smith. Today we have Les Harris who works for Utah Foster Care as the clinical support specialist, and also is an LCSW. Welcome Les. Les: Thank you. Happy to be here. Amy: Today we’re excited to be talking about blocked care. Blocked care really affects foster parents, but it affects all parents. So will you give us the dumb down version of what blocked care is? Les: It’s one of those terms that’s relatively recent in the trauma informed literature, even though we know it’s been around forever. So it’s often used in, as you said, in foster care, adoptive care and in parenting in general. It’s a, it’s refers to the chronic stress that often comes with working with children with difficult emotions and behaviors, and forces the parent then to shut down emotionally and almost stop caring about the child. It’s and in other words, they no longer find joy in parenting, and that’s one of the most common outcomes where. Foster and adoptive parents, when they get pushed emotionally, their own parenting response system starts to shut down, and the next thing they know, they don’t even want to be around the child anymore. And so that’s the basic definition but there’s so much more to it in the context of why does that happen? What do I do about it when it happens? And so on and so forth. So we’ll probably get into to more of that as we go. Amy: Yeah, I know that when I started fostering, I had never heard that term. It was very interesting to me to learn about it from you and from different classes and things that I went to as a foster parent to, to understand that. So maybe we can just start, by talking about what are some of the reasons why a parent might be facing blocked care? Les: Yes. I think that’s important because once we have a bit of awareness about the underlying causes and why it’s happening, then it gives me at least some information I could use to, to change some things about my approach to parenting, some of the most difficult children that will ever encounter. So, Let me go back. I’m gonna get back to basics. Talk a little bit about. The idea that all humans, are born with an instinct, as we get older, particularly, and you can even see this in young children, but particularly as we start to get a certain age, we start to, that nurturing instinct starts to kick in. You can still see it with young children, but by the time you’re mid adolescents and going into adult, I’m driven to care for, or nurture, if you will. The young, and so I use as my most common example, when anyone goes to the grocery store and there’s a toddler or infant in the cart in front of them, we are drawn to , engage with that infant. We, we try to make them smile. We play peek-a-boo. We try to engage them in some nurturing interaction, and so that instinct is pretty strong in all of us. And so if you look at that idea that we have this instinct to nurture our young, which I call the parenting response system, that by the time we become parents is so strong, we actually love being around kids, and let’s all agree that kids drive us crazy from time to time, even under the healthiest and most happy of circumstances, right? We understand that. That there are challenges to parenting. There are challenges to caring for children in foster care and adoptive care. We’re going to agree on that, but that doesn’t change the fact that internal drive to nurture our young isn’t powerful. And in the end, after the turmoil and some of the challenges diminish. We kinda feel joy about being a parent. We love being around our kids and we have, we almost default back to the goodness of being a parent and the goodness of our children. So that parenting instinct, that parent response system gets suppressed when we have chronic stress, exposure to trauma over and over again without relief. And all of a sudden you start to shut down emotionally towards that child. And when I say you lose the joy of parenting that’s suppression, that suppression of the parent response system. And that’s why over the years I’ve been doing this 36 years. I can tell you that comments such as, I hate this child, or I don’t want to be around this child anymore. I don’t like this child. And even parents who will report, I purposely stay away from the home longer than necessary to avoid being around the child. That tells me there is blocked care happening. So that’s, the underlying. Foundation of why blocked care happens and how it continues, unless we, of course, learn ways to mitigate that. Amy: And I think from my experience, I’ve absolutely experienced block care. I didn’t know what it was like I said, until I. Became educated as a foster parent, but I’ve experienced it towards biological and adoptive children. And so I think it’s interesting. Blocked care is specific to a child, right? It’s not just you shut down as a parent, I can’t parent any of them. It’s no one out of my 20 children, I can’t parent currently, but the other 19, I’m just fine with. Les: And it, yes, it can be child specific and yes, it can happen to children who are born into the home. It doesn’t matter how the child gets there, if they are pushing those emotional buttons and overwhelming you emotionally, it starts to. Your parenting response system. So yes, absolutely true and often that’s one of the things that I guess the byproducts of block care is not only am I have, I lost the pleasure of being around a child or maybe multiple children, I. And start to feel guilty about it. What’s wrong with me? I start to shame myself. I’m a bad person. I’m a bad parent because I’m experiencing these thoughts and feelings in association with a particular child. Amy: Yeah. So how would a parent, if they’re listening or had heard of this before, how do you know it’s blocked care versus I don’t actually know what the alternative would be. Depression maybe, or other things like how do you know it’s actually blocked care? Or does it matter? Les: I can tell you that the progression of learning for and helping foster parents kinda get through some of these difficulties was we had terminology such as foster care, burnout and things like that in the past. And we would have training sessions how to prevent. Foster parent burnout. Now, burnout is clearly something that happens, or one of the things that happens because of blocked care. So blocked care is more universal, meaning it becomes more biologically based because it actually changes the way my genetic material is transmitting information to my system. I don’t wanna get too technical, but it’s very. Very brain-based. Once my brain goes into a protective mode, which is essentially what it is, the whole concept is my brain is trying to protect me from something that I think is either threatening or overwhelming or stressful. And that’s different than burnout, which is I’m just exhausted for doing, from doing so much by spending so much time and energy on something, I get burned out. But this is actual suppression of that, that, Amy: I didn’t realize that. Les: yeah. And so th that becomes, I think, probably more, I don’t wanna say dangerous, but certainly more chronic Amy: And probably harder to resolve. Les: And so we talk about it and we, over the years we’ve talked about foster parents self-care, do your exercise, read books, go relax, take vacations and all the things that, that help with burnout. But the truth is how do you restore That instinct, right? How do you get back to. parenting response system to being active enough where I love to be around my child again. That’s a hard, that’s a harder issue. Amy: So how would somebody know if that if they’re like, yeah, this is actual burnout and I need to do something, or I just need to go have a break and I’ll be fine again. Les: So the typical burnout or o foster care, the caring for the caregiver was another title we used, meaning if you do those strategies where I go. And let’s say I just have a friend and I go buy a Coke from Swig every once a week with them and it helps me take a break, and that seems to be. Amy: Enough. Les: Enough,and it seems to restore my confidence and I’m able to kinda be, feel rejuvenated enough to get through the week until I have those opportunities. And maybe you’re doing other things like relaxation, reading good books, listening to some soothing music in between. But the truth is, if that’s sustaining you, then typically it’s Not Amy: quite blocked care. Les: So it’s a deeper seated brain-based response to caring for challenging children. Amy: you essentially can’t just snap out of it or go grab a drink to to relieve yourself, Les: Yeah. Yeah. Amy: not an alcoholic drink. But okay. Perfect. Let’s focus on the blocked care. What would be your first suggestions to somebody if they are feeling like, you know what I might be experiencing blocked care? What would be the first thing that you would recommend somebody to do? Les: Okay, so in, at the risk of saying, let’s go back to self-care, and I’m telling you, I’ve changed my attitude about self-care because that’s just another thing you have to do. And all of a sudden, I’m gonna add it to the list of the demands that I’m already experiencing and by itself then has a detrimental rather than beneficial effect. So I’m not a fan of saying schedule in a daily routine and schedule in this and exercise and diet and all that. All though we will say definitively, those are all good for people. All of those things help. But if I think that’s gonna be my. Cure, if you will, for what I’m experiencing, that it’s just another thing, and now I’ve become more overwhelmed sometimes. So having said that, we gotta go back to how do I connect with this child or children? How do I feel the joy with this child again? So we were actually trying to reactivate that parenting response system, Amy: Which is probably the last thing you wanna do if you’re experiencing blocked Les: it. See, and that’s why it becomes harder to manage blocked care because the very thing I need to do is what I’m avoiding, the person involved in that relationship is the one that’s really activating my stress response system. So but it still doesn’t take away from how critical it is to find ways to reconnect in joyful ways with the child. Now, the in, and I’m going to refer to the book or one of the books that really is cutting edge in terms of. Blocked care, and it’s called Brain-Based Parenting. It’s by Dr. Daniel Hughes. And Jonathan Bayless. And essentially they talk about not only the components of blocked care and how it happens, but they talk about a systemic approach. To helping you restore some of those connections with the child. And the acronym they use is pace, which stands for playfulness, acceptance, curiosity and Empathy. But the truth is those four things, those four words are. Our ways to connect with the child. So let’s just start off by playfulness. Let’s just start there. And I think the danger is we think, oh man, I’ve got a, I’ve got a single out a child. I have to look for opportunities to engage in those joyful exchanges. And that’s gonna last for 15 minutes, a half an hour. And what if it’s just not pleasant? What if it’s just not going well? So I, I try to break it down into very simple concepts. And if, and I know many of our listeners have likely , read Dr. Perry’s book, what happened to you? Amy: Oh yeah. Les: With Oprah Winfrey and one of the stories he talks about a boy that had a trauma and he was at a checkout counter and he, he just said something to the checker. That he needed to release in that moment. And there was empathy exchanged. And unfortunately the dad thought, oh, now he’s starting to open up about this trauma. And so he kept pushing him and the, and that was just overwhelming for the child. And I think he was five or six at the time. What I learned from that and from other experiences is we had these short windows of opportunity with children, and when they’re ready for a positive experience, a joyful exchange with the parent, that’s when I move in and maybe it lasts 30 seconds that they are open and receptive to that, and then they’re done. You move out, but you look for those, Dr. Perry, called them doses. I would look for the doses as well, that, oh, it looks like the child is available. Looks like they’re engaged in a way that would allow me to maybe have a positive experience, play a quick game, tell a funny story, do something that ex you express that connection with that positive. So there’s your dose. You get in and then you can almost say, I know parents are good at this. You almost know when the child is done. Like they disengage and so you stay available just in case. But and don’t, you just don’t walk away. But you certainly be, become available. See where the child’s gonna go if they just run off and wanna go play, you’re done with that dose. Amy: Yeah. Les: Look for another dose later in the day. Amy: yeah, I think one of the trickiest things for me, at least as a parent, is every kid is so different and there’s, I have kids that I vibe really well with, and we have the same type of playful activity or banter and then other kids where it’s okay, we don’t play the same way and this is tricky and. So I think as a parent we have to be very sensitive, which is hard, especially for opinionated people like me to do it their way and do what they find playful, not what we find playful. Les: Exactly. And I think that’s part of the acceptance piece. So you have a playfulness is the first one. Acceptance, meaning I have to accept that what I may think or believe is going to be helpful. Isn’t, and that maybe the child is bringing something that I need to pay attention to, that I can then expand on. Don’t enter relationship with the child as though here’s what I expect you to do, or how I expect you to respond to these interactions. Accept that the child is gonna offer themselves in a way that may not always match and be okay with that. Amy: And that’s where people that have that personality are really blessed because I don’t have that personality. Les: Yeah. And that’s one of the hard parts is, and I remember three of my four children were really quite affectionate. They liked to give you hugs at night, and I had one daughter that didn’t. Now, I could personalize that, of course, and say you don’t love me because you’re not hugging me in the same way that your siblings But if I turn that around and accept that. That’s who she is, and why would I force her to do things that were not part of her nature? I accepted her for who she is And then just celebrated the things that the other ones, perhaps the characteristics the others didn’t have And made it work really well for her. And so I think that’s the acceptance part is probably one of the harder. Realities of parenting is sometimes I have a notion in my head about how I want this child to respond, how I want them to act, how the thoughts and behaviors that they should be producing in any given circumstance, but then they don’t, and then I want to correct that. Les: But anyway so if you start with the idea, and I think that this really is critical to understanding the process here. It’s not about making changes quickly because that’s. Unrealistic. It’s about small incremental changes over time that can make a difference because children in our world right now particularly do not get enough positive interactions with their parents. They don’t, but they get tons of negative interactions so we can walk around our house all day long and point out all the things they’re doing wrong. Or that we don’t like, but when are we gonna get around to acknowledging there’s some good things? And so if a child’s sitting quietly on a couch reading a book, maybe I ought to spend time with the child and ask them questions about the book and engage them and connect with them during those positive interactions. Instead of every time they, I walk by the room and say, stop hitting your sister. Quit writing on the wall. We a hundred percent of the time. We’re pointing that stuff out. We walk by the good stuff all day long, Amy: Yeah. Les: And so when I say to connect with them in those playful positive ways, it’s I’m trying to force parents to pay attention to the fact this child is ready for me to engage them in those things. And they need me to engage ’em in those moments. And if we can laugh and have fun, and as I said, even for just a brief period of time and we do that consistently over time, that’s reinforcing the connection in a more positive way. Amy: Yeah. Is, I don’t know if you would know, but are there statistics showing that blocked care has become more problematic as in this generation versus previous generations? I wonder if there’s. Stats on that or not? I don’t know. It’s just, it would Les: Yeah, I don’t know. of any research or statistics around that. However, because of my experience, and this is anecdotal of course, but over my career, I’ve start, started in child welfare 36 years ago. This stuff was present from the very beginning and with our foster parents. We just didn’t have the name for it. We didn’t understand it like we do today. And as we started and it the progression was we started to really figure out the effects of trauma on children and their brain function and how that impacts their social, emotional, cognitive, physical development. But. Based on what we learned about the effects of trauma on children, it was a natural leap to say, wait a second. Isn’t that same thing happening to the caregivers because of the difficulties and the, almost the trauma that you experience as caregivers for when your caring for difficult children. Amy: Yeah. it just would be interesting just ’cause you mentioned, kids don’t get as much positive reinforcement and I just wonder if just from. The advances in technology and all of the things that we have going on now, it’s like I almost always have a TV on in my house or, the teenagers have phones or I’m on a phone or my, it’s just, there’s so much distraction now that, you look up from your phone because they’re fighting, but when they’re quiet you’re like, oh, good, I can be busy. So it’s just, I think it is harder to notice the good and good things that kids are doing. Les: And again, without, I make a blanket statement like that without necessarily saying there’s research to back it up. I am just use base it on observation and just the sense that it almost n. Anywhere I go, I see parents who are on devices and kids on devices. I don’t see the interactions, but boy, if that child is doing something negative, the phone gets put down and I’m all over that child, right? I see that play out over and over again. And so the same concept exists that man, if we’re only giving them negative interactions. Then the I, the way I get your attention is by producing more negative interactions. Amy: For sure. And I know for myself, if I’m on a phone and I get alerted to something annoying, I am zero to a hundred. It’s not, oh, what happened? It’s immediate Les: Yep. Yep. Amy: chaos. Something I would love to chat about is the shame or the. The guilt that can come along to parents that maybe are experiencing blocked care, foster parenting is difficult. It’s, I read a beautiful post today by someone that talked about, yeah, people claim I’m just a babysitter. It’s no, I’m not a babysitter. I just jumped head in to a stranger’s kid that I’m taking care of. I’m loving them, feeding them, providing for them, trying to get their mental health in order. Like the things that foster parents do, I think are truly unbelievable. And I just, I fear and I. I assume that if foster parents or traditional, any types of parents are experiencing blocked care, it can be very shameful or very guilt-ridden. I think you said at the beginning. Would you just touch on that maybe a little bit? Les: And it, again, just from a very simple understanding, any parent who messes up with a child and feels shame and guilt for doing so, is a standard operating procedure for most parents, right? I, oh, I said something wrong. I did something wrong, and I feel guilty and shameful for that. And most parents will experience that in their lifetime under the normal most. Amy: day. Les: Yeah, just an every everyday kind of thing. Oh, I said something wrong. I did something wrong. I wasn’t as attentive as I needed to be. And we are our own worst enemies. And so the one concept that I try to reinforce, and I say try because it’s so difficult to not blame yourself, right? It is. It is almost seemingly impossible to depersonalize the behavior from yourself. Meaning if I understand, if I truly understand trauma and the effects that has had on this child that’s been placed in my home, and to some extent even the diff most difficult children that were born into your home, the truth is that’s not about me. It really is not about me. And how do I separate that concept? This child is just like me, allowing their brain to do the job of protection for them, right? So when they feel threatened, when they feel stress, when they feel overwhelmed, when they have slight changes in routines, you name it. That protective response produces emotions that therefore produce behaviors. And what they’ve learned some from the earliest of moments is that’s what helped me feel safe. It worked for me because it did help me feel safe by producing these behaviors that felt protective to me. Okay. And so now they come into a new home that by itself is overwhelming and they’re producing the very behaviors that have worked for them. Long before they came to your house, and now you are saying, stop doing that, and they don’t Amy: Yeah. Les: because it doesn’t work anymore outside the context of that adversity, it doesn’t work. And so here they are in your home producing these behaviors, pushing you to get into your protective response. And now you are doing something wrong. No, your brain’s doing exactly the same thing as the child’s protecting you, there’s nothing wrong with you that you shouldn’t feel shameful or guilty about that. It’s your brain doing its job, Amy: Yeah. So. Les: In a sense it can be in a, in the context of basic safety and protection. Absolutely. But because our parenting instinct needs to remain intact, for us to be good. Parents, I use that term, subjectively because it but the truth is, in order us to be, for us to be effective parents, we still need that parent response system to be very active. And so the behavior of a child is something that is. Causing you to become protective yourself. That’s not about you. It’s not about who you are as a person. Amy: which is really hard to accept as a parent, I Les: and that is, I think if we look at it the way I’m trying to describe, and I can’t underemphasize this is you are, is powerless at least to change the behavior immediately. Amy: Yeah. Les: It’s. And so that powerlessness makes you feel weak, makes you feel like you’re not effective. It makes you doubt yourself. When in reality what it means is the child is engaging in those protective responses. Your job is to say, okay, that’s what you’re doing. I know what you’re doing. I need to continue to parent you. Connect you in ways that will help you feel more safe in the future. So that you no longer have to produce these protective responses and that, so it’s not about you. I can’t say that enough. Amy: I know it comes back to that acceptance, which is so hard, at least for me and probably for a lot of parents. Les: And I will say that if there’s anything that I’ve said that it makes it sound like this is an easy process, then I apologize. The truth is, I believe the hardest thing parents can do when they’re caring for difficult children is not to blame themselves, not to get into blocked care. It’s hard. Absolutely. One of the most difficult things is because you’re fighting against your own brain in a sense to try to restore, that parenting response system. So yes, it is hard work and that’s why earlier I said, you gotta break it down into small doses. You got to look for those windows of opportunity. You gotta get in, you gotta get out, get in, get out, do that consistently over time. Learn to love the child again, which you can because it’s not as though that goes away. That parenting res response system does not disappear. It just gets to suppress. So if you can learn to lift the weight off that suppression and learn to love the child again, which you can, that’s what I’m talking about. But it takes time. Amy: Yeah, I could honestly talk about this for a long time, I think. ’cause I feel very connected to it. I’m like, yes. I am a very feisty parent and acceptance is hard for me. And I have five very different personalities in my house. And so I could probably talk about this for a really long time. But unfortunately it’s already time for us to wrap up. I, what I would think. I would think one really important thing would be if people are experiencing blocked care or even burnout seeking therapy would be a beautiful way to work through and to specifically share the exact concerns and struggles they’re having. What type of therapists would be best for people to reach out to? Les: Okay. So a couple of things. I will say the motivation for forming. The clinical program at Utah Foster Care is for this purpose, meaning you have clinicians in all five regions that can act in that role as a therapist to help families who are going through the block care and other issues that they need to address. So I would offer to any foster and even adoptive parent to seek out the therapist in your region. Set up appointments and rely on that support because we can get you through this. And that’s most often what I recommend because that’s what we’re we do now, which is different than it was five years ago. We didn’t offer this. So that, I will say block care was one of the reasons why we wanted to make sure that our foster parents had the opportunity to have somebody to talk to in a clinical way. Amy: which is an amazing resource. Les: Yes. So use the resource is what I would say. Amy: And then if there are families that are listening that aren’t part of Utah foster care, outside of the state or just a traditional non foster family, what type of therapists could they reach out to that would be most effective Les: And generally speaking there’s so many modalities. I don’t want to get complicated here. However, I would find somebody that does specialized in cognitive behavioral therapy. It’s proven time and again to be. Some of the most effective therapy for individuals. So you go in and it essentially helps you make sense of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions and how that leads to my, the behavioral outcomes. And so you start to make those connections that I think are consistent with recognizing that block care is a suppression of that response system. And because it causes certain emotions, I act out on those in certain ways. So if you can get somebody that’s good at helping you figure that out, that would be the best. Amy: Okay. I love that. I think this is a amazing topic that so many foster parents can relate to, and all parents in general. So thank you so much for joining us today, Les sharing all your knowledge. Les: Happy to do it anytime. Amy: Thank you for listening to Fostering Conversations. I’m your host, Amy Smith. We’ll see you next time.

This is the concluding episode of David Wood's horrific story and search for answers to his life-long confusion and turmoil. David is an Australian journalist and copywriter now based in Darwin, Northern Territory. He reached out to me by email after listening to several SASS episodes and recognizing his own story in the voices of others. I was immediately captivated by David's email…which turned into several emails through our ongoing efforts to make this episode happen. The bumps in the road as we struggled to put this together were well worth it for me. And I think you'll also find it well worth it to listen to David's episodes.  I won't spend a lot of time here describing this episode…it's something so powerful and so impactful, you'll just have to listen to it to absorb its phenomenal importance.  There is a previous SASS episode that I mentioned this week regarding Katie Stewart…if you're interested in learning more about Katie and the interesting connections between her story and David's, it is Episode 35.  I also mentioned two books during this episode; one by Dr. Bruce Perry, and the other by concert pianist, James Rhodes. You'll find the links to where you can purchase these books listed below.  If you're a survivor, a loved one, or a professional in the field of investigating or prosecuting sexual assault cases, this conversation is a reminder to keep looking until the story you're told matches the truth you feel. I love how David's through-line is simple and powerful: if the explanations you've been given don't make sense, don't stop. Keep asking better questions. Keep seeking better care. And keep choosing the kind of community that believes you, and  stands with you. An important side note: if you're finding value in these episodes, please take a moment to leave a 5-star rating on your podcast platform. AND, please send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. Here's my email address:   Thank you to all of you who have reached out to me already; and, if you're interested in guesting on the show, please mention that in your email or text, and provide me with a phone number where I can reach you. Please keep those emails and texts coming…I truly look forward to hearing from you! Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore, and where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so!—Thank you!! (Instrumental: A Memoir of Madness, Medication, and Music by James Rhodes, Amazon.com) (The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, by Dr. Bruce Perry, Amazon.com)   (Kennedy Alley: A 100 Mile Journey; GoFundMe link)     (Amazon link to I, Sean/a) (SASS Episode 35, on Spotify)   My email address: As mentioned and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Thank you for tuning in.

Dr Bruce Perry is back! Every time I chat with him, I end up walking away with my head spinning (in the best possible way). This time we’re unpacking why everyone feels so bloody fried right now... and well, how doom scrolling, violent content on our feeds, and the pressure to be 'resilient' 24/7 sure isn't helping. Bruce explains why our brains literally can’t function properly when we’re overloaded, and why the 'do hard shit' version of resilience is rubbish. Real resilience is built like strength training - small doses, spaced out, with recovery in between. We also get into dissociation and how it can save your life in trauma but also be a creative superpower... plus why so many of us are stuck in relational poverty even though we’re more 'connected' than ever. This chat will change the way you think about toughness, trauma, and how you look after yourself in a world that just won’t slow down. SPONSORED BY TESTART FAMILY LAWYERS Website: testartfamilylawyers.com.au TIFFANEE COOK Linktree: linktr.ee/rollwiththepunches/ Website: tiffcook.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/tiffaneecook/ Facebook: facebook.com/rollwiththepunchespodcast/ Instagram: instagram.com/rollwiththepunches_podcast/ Instagram: instagram.com/tiffaneeandcoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if the very ways we structure childhood are quietly cutting off our kids' potential? In this powerful conversation, renowned psychiatrist Dr. Bruce Perry joins Ginny to unpack why real learning requires movement, play, and space to reflect—not endless worksheets, long lectures, and overscheduled days. He explains how the brain wires itself through short bursts of novelty followed by rest, why REM sleep cements learning, and how overscheduling, lack of recess, and early mornings are some of the most inefficient ways we could possibly teach kids. Dr. Perry also reveals why challenges from stress or adversity are rarely irreversible, and how resilience is built through rhythm, repetition, and safe relationships. Together they explore the everyday practices that either foster growth—or unintentionally snip it off before it begins. You'll learn why play is the real work of childhood, why empathy is forged in mixed-age groups, and how freedom outdoors provides the risk-taking and mastery kids need to thrive. This episode will challenge parents, educators, and caregivers to rethink what matters most for development and offers practical ways to restore the rhythms kids need. Explore Dr. Perry's work at the ChildTrauma Academy: childtrauma.org, and his books The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog (link), What Happened to You? (link), and Born for Love (link). If this conversation helps your parenting or teaches you something new, please share it with a friend and leave a quick review. Together we can help more families protect, not snip off, the potential in their children. ❤️ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Send us a textParents, this one is big.Today we're breaking down punishment vs discipline, what science says, how it impacts your child's brain, and why so many of us feel stuck in the cycle of punishing even when we don't want to.If you've ever thought, “I don't want to yell, spank, or threaten…but it just slips out when I'm overwhelmed,” you are not alone.Here's what you'll learn today:What studies reveal about how spanking and harsh discipline change the way your child's brain processes fear, mistakes, and emotions.Why your nervous system is the most powerful discipline tool you have.A simple framework from Dr. Lori Desautels' book Connections Over Compliance that helps you “connect before you correct.”And if you're ready to go deeper, join us inside The Reflective Parent Club. That's where we take this science and make it real in our daily lives, with support, tools, and a community of parents walking this same journey.Because when you regulate, connect, and guide, you're not just shaping behaviour. You're shaping the brain.Articles:https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33835477/https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36152947/https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34197808/Read blog post:https://curiousneuron.com/2025/09/20/science-of-punishment-vs-discipline-how-parenting-shapes-your-childs-brain/Podcast episode with Dr. Bruce Perry:https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000596000285Support the showRecord your message to ask a question, share an insight or give us some feedback! https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast Learn how to become a Reflective Parent! A science-based course that helps you learn how to cope with emotions, stress, your child's behaviour and your partner! Plus, a weekly coaching call to help you build awareness and practice new tools. https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Join the next FREE webinar about stress management and parenting: https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/989145490b Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn't: A Parent's Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: info@curiousneuron.com

Dr. Arielle Schwartz is a licensed psychologist and leading voice in the healing of trauma. She is an internationally sought-out teacher and author of eight books including The Post-Traumatic Growth Guidebook, Therapeutic Yoga for Trauma, and Applied Polyvagal Theory in Yoga. As the founder of the Center for Resilience Informed Therapy, she offers a mind-body approach to therapy for trauma and informational mental health and wellness updates through her writing, public speaking, social media presence, and blog. She believes that the journey of trauma recovery is an awakening of the spiritual heart. In This Episodehttps://drarielleschwartz.com/www.resilienceinformedtherapy.com/https://www.facebook.com/drarielleschwartz/https://www.instagram.com/arielleschwartzboulder/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5LUxnXbReV7I5cEzvb46sQYou can learn more about what I do here:The Trauma Therapist Newsletter: celebrates the people and voices in the mental health profession. And it's free! Check it out here: https://bit.ly/4jGBeSaThe Trauma Therapist Podcast:  I interview thought-leaders in the fields of trauma, mindfulness, addiction and yoga such as Peter Levine, Pat Ogden, Bessel van der Kolk and Bruce Perry. https://bit.ly/3VRNy8z---Thank you to our sponsor Jane App - Practice Management Software for Health & Wellness Practitioners.Use code GUY1MO at check out.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-trauma-therapist--5739761/support.You can learn more about what I do here:The Trauma Therapist Newsletter: celebrates the people and voices in the mental health profession. And it's free! Check it out here: https://bit.ly/4jGBeSa———If you'd like to support The Trauma Therapist Podcast and the work I do you can do that here with a monthly donation of $5, $7, or $10: Donate to The Trauma Therapist Podcast.Click here to join my email list and receive podcast updates and other news.

The Sisters Kavanagh, Joyce, June and Paula, are three sisters born into a large family of ten children in the late 1950s and early 1960s, raised in a disadvantaged area of Dublin. From the age of three or four and throughout their teenage years, they endured daily sexual abuse at the hands of their father. In 1989, they made the courageous decision to bring charges against him. The following year, the Irish State successfully prosecuted their father, resulting in a conviction and a seven-year prison sentence, of which he served five.The Grip of Childhood Sexual Abuse' is a 10 hour – non-fiction audio book in which they share openly and honestly all the knowledge, insights and understanding derived from over thirty years' experience in recovery work as a direct result of being sexually abused as children.In This EpisodeThe Sisters Kavanagh website You can learn more about what I do here:The Trauma Therapist Newsletter: celebrates the people and voices in the mental health profession. And it's free! Check it out here: https://bit.ly/4jGBeSaThe Trauma Therapist Podcast:  I interview thought-leaders in the fields of trauma, mindfulness, addiction and yoga such as Peter Levine, Pat Ogden, Bessel van der Kolk and Bruce Perry. https://bit.ly/3VRNy8zBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-trauma-therapist--5739761/support.You can learn more about what I do here:The Trauma Therapist Newsletter: celebrates the people and voices in the mental health profession. And it's free! Check it out here: https://bit.ly/4jGBeSa———If you'd like to support The Trauma Therapist Podcast and the work I do you can do that here with a monthly donation of $5, $7, or $10: Donate to The Trauma Therapist Podcast.Click here to join my email list and receive podcast updates and other news.

Christina Kantzavelos is a neurodivergent, and first-generation (third culture) Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), life coach, writer and chronic illness warrior.  She received both her BA and MSW from the University of California Los Angeles (UCLA) and her MLIS from San Jose State University (SJSU). Charmaine Husum RCAT, RTC, CT, DKATI, ​runs a private Art Therapy and Counselling practice (Centre of the Heart) on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut'ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, and the Métis people of Calgary Alberta, Canada, seeing clients in person and online both regionally and internationally.  She is also an Artist, Kundalini Yoga teacher and trained in the somatic approach of Integrative Body Psychotherapy and Reiki. In This EpisodeChristina's websitehttps://www.centreoftheheart.com/about.html You can learn more about what I do here:The Trauma Therapist Newsletter: celebrates the people and voices in the mental health profession. And it's free! Check it out here: https://bit.ly/4jGBeSaThe Trauma Therapist Podcast:  I interview thought-leaders in the fields of trauma, mindfulness, addiction and yoga such as Peter Levine, Pat Ogden, Bessel van der Kolk and Bruce Perry. https://bit.ly/3VRNy8zBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-trauma-therapist--5739761/support.

Christina Kantzavelos is a neurodivergent, and first-generation (third culture) Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), life coach, writer and chronic illness warrior.  She received both her BA and MSW from the University of California Los Angeles (UCLA) and her MLIS from San Jose State University (SJSU). Caitlan Siegenthaler loves helping people unlock the brightest, most authentic version of themselves—a passion that led her to earn a Master's Degree and train as an Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapist.With over 10 years of experience in the therapy industry, Caitlan has reimagined her work to combine IFS Therapy and Human Design strategies, supporting entrepreneurs in growing their businesses.In This EpisodeChristina's website You can learn more about what I do here:The Trauma Therapist Newsletter: celebrates the people and voices in the mental health profession. And it's free! Check it out here: https://bit.ly/4jGBeSaThe Trauma Therapist Podcast:  I interview thought-leaders in the fields of trauma, mindfulness, addiction and yoga such as Peter Levine, Pat Ogden, Bessel van der Kolk and Bruce Perry. https://bit.ly/3VRNy8zBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-trauma-therapist--5739761/support.

In this episode of the Celeste Therapist Podcast, Celeste, a therapist from Boston, continues her five-part series on healing the inner child. If you haven't listened to Episode 1, "Healing the Inner Child," it's suggested to start there for context and continuity. The series aims to help listeners understand themselves better by examining how childhood experiences shape their adult lives. Celeste discusses the importance of reflecting on your past, with a particular focus on how early life experiences influence current behaviors and feelings. She references the book "What Happened to You" by Oprah Winfrey and Bruce Perry, which explores the profound impact of childhood events on adult psychology. Listeners are encouraged to engage with the provided homework assignments, such as journaling or visualization exercises, to deepen their self-awareness. Celeste emphasizes that this journey is ongoing and that it's okay to take breaks if the material feels heavy. Join us as we delve into the complexities of childhood and its lasting effects, and continue to work towards better understanding and healing our inner selves. Homework: Complete the journaling prompt or visualization exercise from Episode 1, if you haven't already. Resources Mentioned: Book: "What Happened to You" by Oprah Winfrey and Bruce Perry Listen to the Previous Episode: Episode 1: Healing the Inner Child Stay tuned for the next episode in this insightful series!

Roberto Diaz Herrera Jr. was born into the rigid confines of macho Latin American culture, where strength, sex, and violence were the defining traits of manhood. Raised in Panama under the shadow of his father—Colonel Roberto Diaz Herrera, the former Chief of Staff and close ally to dictator Manuel Noriega—he was expected to embody the same ideals of dominance and aggression. In a world where compassion and vulnerability were seen as weakness, he was constantly reminded, “You are the son of a tiger.” For him, Noriega wasn't just a political figure—he was Uncle Tony. You can learn more about what I do here:The Trauma Therapist Newsletter: celebrates the people and voices in the mental health profession. And it's free! Check it out here: https://bit.ly/4jGBeSaThe Trauma Therapist Podcast:  I interview thought-leaders in the fields of trauma, mindfulness, addiction and yoga such as Peter Levine, Pat Ogden, Bessel van der Kolk and Bruce Perry. https://bit.ly/3VRNy8zBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-trauma-therapist--5739761/support.

Jenny Hughes, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in trauma and PTSD. She supports helpers and healers through the common experience of vicarious trauma as the founder of  The BRAVE Trauma Therapist Collective. Jenny helps trauma therapists be human again as they learn how to manage vicarious trauma and enhance vicarious resilience together. As a clinician, she practices Brainspotting, EMDR, and Cognitive Processing Therapy. Jenny is the author of The PTSD Recovery Workbook and Triggers to Glimmers: A Vicarious Resilience Journal and Workbook.Dr. Michael Gomez is a licensed clinical psychologist in Texas and Rhode Island who specializes in trauma across diverse contexts, including child abuse, disaster response, sexual trafficking, immigration, secondary trauma, and systemic racism. He's served on clinical faculty at Brown University's Warren Alpert Medical School and has directed trauma-focused clinics like the Adversity and Resilience Community Center in West Texas. Dr. Gomez is also a co-founder of the NCTSN's Trauma and IDD Workgroup and part of the film team at the University of Connecticut's Center for the Treatment of Complex/Developmental Trauma Disorders. He currently sees clients through PCS Counseling in Lubbock, Texas.In This EpisodeOn Instagram, @braveprovidersOn Facebook, in The Vicarious Trauma Community with Jenny HughesAnd on TikTok, @braveprovidersYou can learn more about what I do here:The Trauma Therapist Newsletter: celebrates the people and voices in the mental health profession. And it's free! Check it out here: https://bit.ly/4jGBeSaThe Trauma Therapist Podcast:  I interview thought-leaders in the fields of trauma, mindfulness, addiction and yoga such as Peter Levine, Pat Ogden, Bessel van der Kolk and Bruce Perry. https://bit.ly/3VRNy8zBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-trauma-therapist--5739761/support.

Dr. Nick Brüss, EdD, LMFT, is a leading expert in psychedelic-assisted therapy and a licensed therapist. He serves as a clinical researcher and supervisor on the FDA phase III MAPS trial using MDMA for PTSD and is the lead therapist on Compass Pathways' psilocybin trial for treatment-resistant depression. A specialist in Internal Family Systems therapy, Dr. Brüss has shared his work at UCLA and Yale. He's also a certified mindfulness facilitator and Compassion Cultivation teacher, blending science, compassion, and innovation in healing. In This EpisodeNick's websiteYou can learn more about what I do here:The Trauma Therapist Newsletter: celebrates the people and voices in the mental health profession. And it's free! Check it out here: https://bit.ly/4jGBeSaThe Trauma Therapist Podcast:  I interview thought-leaders in the fields of trauma, mindfulness, addiction and yoga such as Peter Levine, Pat Ogden, Bessel van der Kolk and Bruce Perry. https://bit.ly/3VRNy8zBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-trauma-therapist--5739761/support.

Susanne Babbel, originally from Germany, moved to the U.S. nearly 20 years ago. Known for her deep listening and insight, she was drawn to psychology through her own journey of personal growth. Her interest in the mind-body connection led her to study somatic psychology, earning master's degrees from John F. Kennedy University and Santa Barbara Graduate Institute.Maggie Kline, LMFT, has decades of experience as a school psychologist, family therapist, and Somatic Experiencing® faculty member. She's co-authored Trauma Through a Child's Eyes and Trauma-Proofing Your Kids with Peter Levine, and written extensively on trauma-informed care for children. In This Episodehttps://www.instagram.com/drbabbel/https://www.facebook.com/DrBabbelhttps://x.com/DrBabbelYou can learn more about what I do here:The Trauma Therapist Newsletter: celebrates the people and voices in the mental health profession. And it's free! Check it out here: https://bit.ly/4jGBeSaThe Trauma Therapist Podcast:  I interview thought-leaders in the fields of trauma, mindfulness, addiction and yoga such as Peter Levine, Pat Ogden, Bessel van der Kolk and Bruce Perry. https://bit.ly/3VRNy8zBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-trauma-therapist--5739761/support.

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Christina Kantzavelos is a neurodivergent, and first-generation (third culture) Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), life coach, writer and chronic illness warrior.  She received both her BA and MSW from the University of California Los Angeles (UCLA) and her MLIS from San Jose State University (SJSU). Tyler Orr, LPC/MHSP (TN), LCMHC (NC), NCC, is the creator of Constructed Awareness (CA) and President of the Constructed Awareness Institute. He offers an interactive, here-and now approach to counseling, consulting, and teaching that integrates mindfulness, nonviolence, and process-oriented approaches. If you'd like to learn more about CA, visit www.constructedawareness.com or email Tyler directly at info@constructedawareness.com.In This Episodeconstructedawareness.comhttps://www.instagram.com/constructedawareness/https://www.youtube.com/@constructedawarenessChristina's websiteNeural Retraining informationConstructed AwarenessYou can learn more about what I do here:The Trauma Therapist Newsletter: celebrates the people and voices in the mental health profession. And it's free! Check it out here: https://bit.ly/4jGBeSaThe Trauma Therapist Podcast:  I interview thought-leaders in the fields of trauma, mindfulness, addiction and yoga such as Peter Levine, Pat Ogden, Bessel van der Kolk and Bruce Perry. https://bit.ly/3VRNy8zBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-trauma-therapist--5739761/support.

Veronique Mead, MD, MA is a former Dartmouth-affiliated assistant professor of family medicine and obstetrics. She retrained with a Master's degree in somatic psychotherapy from Naropa University and specialty training in pre and perinatal and other forms of trauma. For the past 25 years she has explored the scientific literature on how effects of trauma from the prenatal and other periods in a person's life can influence risk for autoimmune and other chronic illnesses. She shares the research on her blog Chronic Illness Trauma Studies.Euphrasia (Efu) Nyaki was born and raised in Tanzania where she earned a Bachelor of Science degree, trained as a science teacher, and later was trained as a healer using holistic methods. Efu is a Faculty Member of Somatic Experiencing®, a method founded by Dr Peter Levine, and a Professor of Family Constellation System Therapy by Hellinger Institute. In the last 31 years Efu has been living in Brazil facilitating trainings and Holistic therapy for trauma healing using Somatic Experiencing® and Family Constellation System Therapy. While living in Brazil, Efu has also been traveling in different countries such as India, Egypt, South Korea, China, Bolivia, Peru, Spain, Uruguay, Tanzania, Philippines, Sweden, Portugal, Spain  and Hong Kong facilitating trainings and workshops. After the pandemic situation, Efu has been giving international trainings, workshops, summits, webinars, podcasts, conferences, and individual therapy sessions and case consults through online. Efu is a co- founder of AFYA: Holistic Healing Center located in the northeast of Brazil. Afya supports many people from the local community as well as national and international individuals that approaches the center to receive support and healing.  Efu is a writer of the book titled: Trauma healing using Family Constellation System Therapy and Somatic Experiencing®.In This EpisodeVeronique:https://chronicillnesstraumastudies.com/https://lnk.bio/veroniquemeadFACEBOOK - https://www.facebook.com/chronicillnesstraumastudies/LINKED IN - https://www.linkedin.com/in/veroniquemeadillnessblog/YOUTUBE - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh-ng96Ji8rJSIJdXjCpCqA/videosPINTEREST - https://www.pinterest.com/chrillog/_created/INSTAGRAM - https://www.instagram.com/veroniquemead/Euphrasia:https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0BYXYGQ1Vhttps://linktr.ee/efunyaki?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=8eaad01c-d2dd-4e12-a35e-3b250748f25fYou can learn more about what I do here:The Trauma Therapist Newsletter: celebrates the people and voices in the mental health profession. And it's free! Check it out here: https://bit.ly/4jGBeSaThe Trauma Therapist Podcast:  I interview thought-leaders in the fields of trauma, mindfulness, addiction and yoga such as Peter Levine, Pat Ogden, Bessel van der Kolk and Bruce Perry. https://bit.ly/3VRNy8zBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-trauma-therapist--5739761/support.

Do you feel like you're constantly on high alert, waiting for the next shoe to drop? Like your body is braced for impact even when there's no real danger around you? You're exhausted, on edge, and maybe you find yourself reaching for something—anything—to make it stop. A drink, a pill, a behavior that gives you just a moment of peace.If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. And more importantly, you're not broken.⁠DOWNLOAD THE WORKSHEET⁠In this eye-opening episode of The Addicted Mind, host Duane Ostlund reveals the hidden connection between past trauma and present-day addiction. Drawing from groundbreaking research by experts like Dr. Bessel van der Kolk and Dr. Bruce Perry, Duane explains how trauma literally rewires our brains, keeping us stuck in survival mode long after the danger has passed.You'll discover why your brain's alarm system (the amygdala) won't shut off, how chronic stress floods your body with harmful hormones, and why substances become a desperate attempt at self-medication rather than a moral failing. This isn't about willpower—it's about biology.But here's the hope: there's a way out. Duane shares the surprising antidote to this cycle—and it's not what you might expect. Instead of running from uncomfortable feelings, the path to healing involves gently turning inward and learning to embrace your nervous system.Through practical techniques like body scanning and interoception (awareness of your body's internal signals), you can begin to retrain your brain. You'll learn to shift from asking "What's wrong with me?" to "What happened to me?"—a simple question that changes everything.This episode offers both scientific understanding and practical hope for anyone who feels trapped in cycles of addiction, chronic stress, or emotional numbness. Whether you're struggling yourself or supporting someone who is, you'll gain valuable insights into the body-mind connection and discover that healing truly is possible.⁠DOWNLOAD THE WORKSHEET⁠If you live in California, Idaho, Virginia, or Florida and are looking for counseling or therapy, please visit Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NovusMindfulLife.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠We want to hear from you. Please leave us a message or ask us a question: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Disclaimer⁠⁠See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Do you feel like you're constantly on high alert, waiting for the next shoe to drop? Like your body is braced for impact even when there's no real danger around you? You're exhausted, on edge, and maybe you find yourself reaching for something—anything—to make it stop. A drink, a pill, a behavior that gives you just a moment of peace. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. And more importantly, you're not broken. DOWNLOAD THE WORKSHEET In this eye-opening episode of The Addicted Mind, host Duane Ostlund reveals the hidden connection between past trauma and present-day addiction. Drawing from groundbreaking research by experts like Dr. Bessel van der Kolk and Dr. Bruce Perry, Duane explains how trauma literally rewires our brains, keeping us stuck in survival mode long after the danger has passed. You'll discover why your brain's alarm system (the amygdala) won't shut off, how chronic stress floods your body with harmful hormones, and why substances become a desperate attempt at self-medication rather than a moral failing. This isn't about willpower—it's about biology. But here's the hope: there's a way out. Duane shares the surprising antidote to this cycle—and it's not what you might expect. Instead of running from uncomfortable feelings, the path to healing involves gently turning inward and learning to embrace your nervous system. Through practical techniques like body scanning and interoception (awareness of your body's internal signals), you can begin to retrain your brain. You'll learn to shift from asking "What's wrong with me?" to "What happened to me?"—a simple question that changes everything. This episode offers both scientific understanding and practical hope for anyone who feels trapped in cycles of addiction, chronic stress, or emotional numbness. Whether you're struggling yourself or supporting someone who is, you'll gain valuable insights into the body-mind connection and discover that healing truly is possible. DOWNLOAD THE WORKSHEET If you live in California, Idaho, Virginia, or Florida and are looking for counseling or therapy, please visit Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NovusMindfulLife.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ We want to hear from you. Please leave us a message or ask us a question: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Disclaimer⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.