When Our Adult Children Walk Away

In this episode of When Our Adult Children Walk Away, Dr. Steinkamp takes a gentle but honest look at one of the most painful aspects of estrangement: the deep sting of rejection. When our adult child pulls away - slowly or suddenly - it can turn daily life upside down. The decision to step away can shake a parent's identity, confidence, and every memory about the relationship. No matter where an estranged relationship with your adult child sits on the Continuum of Estrangement, the pain and confusion of rejection can be significant. Listen in, and you'll walk with Dr. Steinkamp through what rejection is and how it manifests as the emotional nexus of estrangement (e.g., disbelief, anger, and despair). Learn why emotions show up with such intensity in the face of rejection. Listeners will hear and consider five survival strategies designed to help you name your loss, separate your identity from the estrangement, choose meaning over bitterness, and begin the gradual move into acceptance and transformation.As you listen, you'll be reminded that your grief speaks to the depth of your love—and that rejection does not define you. You are learning, growing, and reclaiming your voice one day at a time. Wherever you are on this journey, you are not alone.Related EpisodesThe Unrest of Not Knowing: Letting Go of The Need for Certainty in EstrangementRespecting No-Contact: 8 Strategies to Find Strength in the Stillness6 Mistakes Estranged Parents Make That Delay Re-Establishing CommunicationRebuilding Trust: How Estranged Moms Can Reconnect- Episode 2It's Not Just About the Past: Why Adult Kids Stop Talking to Dad#WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway #EstrangementSupport #EstrangedAdultChild #ParentalEstrangement #EstrangementGrief #ParentalReconnection #AcceptingRejection #ParentalAdultChildRelationship #Fracturedfamily #FamilyEstrangement #ReconnectingWithMyChild #EstrangementCoach #FamilyEstrangementPodcast #NoContactfamily #EstrangementGrief #EstrangedParents #ParentalRejectionHi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.For more information, please visit https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

It's natural to feel compelled to reach out to fix things at every level of estrangement. We've been taught to pursue, talk, challenge, and perhaps even expect certain aspects of a relationship with our adult child.You want closeness, but every “fix it” attempt seems to push your adult child farther away. The tension escalates, accusations worsen, and hurtful words or actions become more personal. It makes no sense, and the confusion turns to helplessness. Well-intentioned friends, family, and therapists may advise you to walk away. To close the door. However, is that really what you want? What if there is another option?In this episode, Dr. Janet shows you how concrete self-reflection, neutral consideration of both perspectives, and humble authenticity can change that. You will take the first step to see your communication style and behaviors through your adult child's eyes. You will begin to consider your own communication patterns (e.g., tone, timing, word choice, and intensity) and the power of modifying your communication in real time. You will consider the importance of regulating emotions in the moment and the value of modeling actions that invite trust. Remember, moving through estrangement to rebuild trust and establish healthier communication is at the heart of a new and healthy relationship with your son or daughter. This isn't a sprint; it's steady, observable change your adult child can feel—even from a distance. If you're ready to rebuild calm, clarity, and compassion, this is your starting line.Related EpisodesMom, Mentor, Grandma: Flexing Roles Without Fueling the Fire of EstrangementWhen the Green Monster Rears Its Head: Jealousy and EstrangementWhen Communication Becomes a Power Struggle: Power, Influence, Gaslighting and Coercive Control6 Tips to Proactively Give Space to Your Adult Child and Avoid Misrepresentation#FamilyEstrangement #EstrangedAdultChild #ParentReconnection #ParentalAlienation #ReconnectionStrategist #EstrangementSupport #ParentAdultChildRelationship #EmotionalRegulation #Boundaries #TrustBuilding #CommunicationSkills #EstrangementGrief #MothersOfEstrangedDaughters #FathersOfEstrangedSons #RepairingRelationshipsHi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.For more information, please visit https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.Being a strong and steady father to an adult child and a grounded grandfather to their children matters deeply, especially in families experiencing tension or any level of estrangement. The importance isn't about control or authority, it's about regulations, emotional safety and continuity across generations.In this episode, you'll better appreciate the challenges and importance of recognizing boundaries. This is the first step toward respectfully engaging with grandchildren when you and their parent(s) are in a strained relationship.Dr. Steinkamp helps you untangle the overlap between fatherhood and grandfatherhood, showing how clarity in each role can bring calm, confidence, and peace.You'll learn why dads often feel powerless when distance sets in, how to strengthen your emotional anchor, and practical ways to repair or reestablish a trusting, respectful connection with your adult child. And, in sequence, with your grandchildren. You'll also hear why knowledge truly is power on the path to a healthy, sustainable adult relationship. #Family Estrangement #FatherhoodMatters #GrandparentEstrangement #Navigating Estrangement #CalmLeadership #RegulatedNoReactive #MenandEmotions #HealthAcrossGenerations #WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway #HoldingHopeRelated Episodes6 Mistakes Estranged Parents Make That Delay Re-Establishing CommunicationFather's Day in Silence: A Heart-to-Heart for Estranged DadsIt's Not Just About the Past: Why Adult Kids Stop Talking to DadSupport the showFor more information, please visit https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.When someone is living with any degree of estrangement, it can feel as though everything they once believed to be true about the relationship has shifted, including their faith. In this episode, Dr. Janet Steinkamp explores how estrangement from an adult child can unsettle long-held beliefs and erode spiritual confidence.Practices that once offered comfort, such as prayer, meditation, or worship, may feel hollow or met with painful silence. A person may feel grounded one day and shaken the next, sometimes drawing strength from faith while simultaneously questioning it. Whether someone feels deeply faithful, uncertain, spiritual but not religious, or somewhere in between, this conversation makes room for the full range of experience.This episode is not about what someone should believe. Instead, Dr. Steinkamp examines how belief itself is shaped by loss, longing, grief, and unanswered questions. She discusses how strength can emerge even during seasons of doubt and invites listeners to consider faith not as a solution or a way to fix estrangement, but as a companion—something that can help them hold what remains, endure another day, and stay open to hope, even when the pain and absence are still very real.#FamilyEstrangement #EstrangedAdultChildren #EstrangementAndFaith #EstrangementGrief #ParentsOfEstrangedAdults #ReconnectingWithMyChild #FamilyEstrangementPodcastSupport the showFor more information, please visit https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

The days of straightforward expectations about how moms transition from being a child's mom to mom to an adult child, and finally, from mom to a grandparent, are long gone. The challenge of understanding our adult children's expectations is real.More and more often, moms tell me that as their adult children became independent, they thought they knew how to relate to and communicate with them effectively. They thought they were doing things and interacting with their adult children and grandchildren in ways that expressed love, support, and respect. Only to be told they were undermining, disrespectful, abusive and traumatizing. In this episode, we'll explore strategies that can help you move from a hands-on mom to an adult child's mom, and then into the joyful lane of grandma. We'll explore how and when without drifting into control or sparking estrangement.I'll walk you through six key aspects of our evolving roles as mom (nurturing, communication, support, boundaries, connection, and legacy) and show you how to "flex" between roles in real time.If you're navigating relational distress or want to prevent it, this episode gives you practical language, simple check-in questions, and a mindset that protects family continuity. Listen in and get the confidence to mother well in every season.Dr. Janet#FamilyEstrangement #ParentReconnection #ParentAdultChildRelationship #ParentChildReunification #ReconnectionStrategist #EstrangedAdultChild #FamilyCommunicationTraining #EstrangementCoach #MothersOfEstrangedDaughters #BeingEstrangedFromParents #ParentalAlienation #FamilyEstrangementSupport #ReconnectingWithMyChild Related EpisodesHow to Be a Supportive Mom and Loving Grandma Without Overstepping or  Being Taken for Granted6 Mistakes Estranged Parents Make That Delay Re-Establishing CommunicationRespecting No-Contact: 8 Strategies to Find Strength in the StillnessThe Unrest of Not Knowing: Letting Go of The Need for Certainty in EstrangementWhen Mother's Day Hurts: 10 Reasons Our Kids Pull Away - Episode 1Rebuilding Trust: How Estranged Moms Can Reconnect - Episode 2Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.For more information, please visit https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

The winter holidays can shine a harsh spotlight on your estrangement, can't they? While everyone else seems to be posting perfect family photos, you're left wondering how to get through the season when your family table isn't complete.In this episode, Stillness, Space, and Grace, I'll walk you through the emotional landmines of “high-risk days” such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, and other meaningful holidays. We'll explore why the holidays intensify grief for parents of estranged adults, what silence can really mean for your estranged adult child, and how both of you may be using distance as a form of self-preservation—not punishment.I offer practical strategies to help you survive and find comfort:Use stillness as a gift instead of something to fearSit with your emotions without judging yourselfAsk gentle reflective questions like, “What am I feeling?” and “What do these feelings need from me?”Honor your adult child's need for space without abandoning yourselfCreate new traditions, anchors, and support systems so you're not facing this season aloneYou'll also hear ideas for simple, low-pressure ways to reach out—like a quiet card with a simple message from you. Something like, “Thinking of you, wishing you peace.” How to use this season to rebuild your own identity, resilience, and readiness for future reconnection.If you're feeling invisible, guilty, angry, or just deeply tired, this conversation is here to remind you that you're not weak, you're not crazy, and you're not alone. Your story isn't over. You're growing, your adult child is growing, and the stillness and space require grace for yourself and for your adult child. How you navigate holiday traditions and celebrations can inform your decisions about preparing for opportunities ahead.Previous and Related EpisodesHigh-Risk Days, Part 1: Understanding Emotional Landmines How to recognize the “high-risk days” that trigger estrangement grief and why they hit so hard.High-Risk Days, Part 2: Preparing for Holidays and Milestones Practical plans for surviving birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries when you're estranged.High-Risk Days, Part 3: Recovery After a Hard Day What to do after a triggering event and how to come back to emotional center.When Tradition Meets Transition Rethinking holiday traditions, grief, and meaning when your adult child is distant or estranged.#familyestrangement #estrangedadultchild #parentsofestrangedadults #holidayestrangement #estrangementgrief #parentreconnection #familyestrangementsupport #highriskdays #stillnessspacegrace #whenouradultchildrenwalkawayHi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.For more information, please visit https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.You're not crazy for wanting answers—you're human. It's human nature to want to know how and why things happen. In estrangement, too often the answers don't come, and we are challenged to find closure amid ambiguity.In this episode, I'll walk you through the unrest of not knowing in parent–adult-child estrangement. You'll hear why many adult children don't offer explanations (overwhelm, failed attempts to be heard, self-protection, different views of obligation, and shame/guilt). When we're submerged in uncertainty, there can be consequences for our minds, bodies and souls. So, can you move forward without answers?Listen in to hear 6 aspects of ambiguity and practical tools: mindset reframes, survival strategies and a simple step toward acceptance. If you've ever found yourself stuck in the 'why' or 'how could you' loop, this conversation will help you breathe again, slow the ruminating, and refocus on the present. Remember that reconnection starts with you.If today's episode helps, share it with a friend who needs hope. Learn more or schedule coaching at whenouradultchildrenwalkaway.com, or email janet@jesteinkamp.com—and remember, you are not alone.Support the showFor more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement. The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.The winter holidays can turn a soft ache into a sharp pain when you're estranged from your adult child. That can be true of any holiday. We're so glad you stopped by to listen and learn with me on the When Our Adult Children Walk Away podcast. In this episode, you'll learn why the winter holiday season feels so intense in the face of estrangement. When Tradition Meets Transition: 6 ways to Maintain the Meaning of  Holidays By the end of this episode, you'll know why holidays matter and how important it is to embrace the aspects of holidays that bring you joy.We'll walk through practical, permission-based strategies to protect the happiness of the season, ways to keep the meaning of connection without replicating the past and how to prepare for small, cautious moments of reconnection when they arise. It is my intention that by the end of this episode, you'll feel some relief from the pressure and anxiety many face during this holiday season. With flexible planning, you can find a path to moments of joy and a sense of gratitude for all that is good in your life. Happiest of holidays to you and yours.Previous and Related EpisodesNavigating Awkward Questions About Your Estrangement: Kindly Setting BoundariesHow Do You vs Your Adult Child - Decide Whether to Attend Social Events on High Risk Days?5 Ways High Risk Days Feel Different for Parents and Adult ChildrenSupport the showFor more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement. The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

When the phone stops ringing and your texts go unanswered, the quiet can feel unbearable. In “Surviving the Silence,” Dr. Janet Steinkamp walks you through how to use this season with purpose so you don't ruminate and drive yourself to distraction through catastrophizing. You'll learn eight practical strategies: anchoring in reality (from a 360° view), managing the spiral of rumination, practicing radical acceptance, rebuilding an identity beyond parenting, regulating emotions when you're triggered, choosing a safe support network, reframing your narrative, and using silence as a mirror for growth.You'll hear why respecting your adult child's boundary can build trust, how to stop re-traumatizing yourself by 'looping' through your story, and ways to find peace even if reconciliation isn't here yet. If you're ready to move from panic to purpose—and wait with your child rather than merely waiting for them—this episode gives you calm, concrete strategies to maintain your mental balance and find purpose.Previous and Related Episodes“Catastrophizing” (managing rumination, fear and worry)“Flying Monkeys & Well-Intended People” (why third-party ‘help' backfires)“Coercive Control” series (3 episodes focused on a cult of one)“Grief” series (7 episodes on the estrangement grief process)“Explaining vs. Apologizing vs. Making Amends” (owning your part)“Let It vs. Let Them Go” (healthy release vs. resentment)#FamilyEstrangement #EstrangementExpert #ParentReconnection #EstrangedAdultChild #ParentChildReunification #ReconnectionStrategist #ParentalAlienation #FamilyCommunication #Boundaries #EmotionalRegulation #RadicalAcceptance #Rumination #NoContact #RepairingRelationships #FaithAndHealing #MothersOfEstrangedDaughters #ParentsOfEstrangedAdults #EstrangementSupport #ReframingYourNarrative #SelfCompassion #AccoutabililtyHi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.For more information, please visit https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.Hi Listeners, Welcome to this safe, judgment-free space to find support, explore new perspectives, and better understand your estrangement circumstances. Regardless of where your relationship sits on the Continuum of Estrangement, you'll find encouragement and reassurance. If you've ever wondered how to move between being a mom to your adult child and a grandma to their children—especially when estrangement or tension is involved—this episode is for you.I'm Dr. Janet Steinkamp, and in this episode I will help you understand and explore the powerful differences between your role as a mom to your adult child and your role as grandma. I'll provide reassurance that each role matters and how clear boundaries can actually strengthen family bonds. You'll learn how to move (flex) back and forth between supporter and emotional anchor to a safe haven for grandchildren. We explore ways to rebuild trust after distance seeps in or silence becomes a fact.Finally, we learn how to nurture relationships with your grandchildren without undermining your adult child's confidence and trust. And! Not feel exploited or taken for granted.Grab your notebook, get comfortable, and let's unpack what it means to love well in both roles—so you can grow stronger and find comfort knowing you're not alone.Related Episodes:When Our Adult Children Ask for Space: What It Really MeansUnderstanding Emotional Boundaries with Estranged Adult ChildrenHealing the Hurt: How to Rebuild Trust After EstrangementHow to Communicate Without Pushing Your Child AwaySupport the showFor more information, please visit:  https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies, and tips to prepare for repair! I'd love to hear from you directly. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. ***It is not possible for me to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.#FamilyEstrangementPodcast #ParentReconnection #EstrangedAdultChildren #ParentChildReunification #ReconnectingWithMyChild #EstrangementExpertThe continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangSupport the showFor more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement. The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

Learn about navigating “Gatekeepers” without triggering coercive abuse and further estrangement.In this deeper dive on coercive control, you'll learn how to keep the light on for your adult child when a partner is acting as a gatekeeper. Dr. Janet shows you how to stay calm under pressure, send short and safe messages that won't be weaponized, choose lower-risk communication channels, and avoid feeding the power dynamic. You'll get word-for-word response ideas (“respond, don't react”), ways to validate without inserting yourself, and a realistic plan for the long game—staying warm, neutral, and available over months, not days. You'll also hear when therapy (not coaching) is the right next step, how to use allies wisely (without creating “flying monkeys”), and how to care for your own mental health while you support your child.If gatekeeping has you feeling shut out, this episode gives you grounded, compassionate steps you can take today.Related Episodes:Wait! What? You're leaving?! Does this mean we're estranged?5 Signs Your Relationship with Your Adult Child is Unraveling: The yin and yang of estrangement.What is the Difference: Independence or Estrangement#FamilyEstrangementConsulting, #FamilyEstrangementExpert, #EstrangementExpert, #EstrangementSpecialist, #ParentReconnection, #ReconnectionStrategist, #ParentEstrangement, #EstrangedAdultChild, #AdultEstrangement, #ParentalAlienation, #ParentalAlienationExpert, #FamilyEstrangementSupport, #FamilyEstrangementPodcast, #ParentChildReunification, #ParentAdultChildRelationship, #EstrangementGrief, #EstrangementCoach, #ConflictWithMyAdultChild, #BeingEstrangedFromParents, #EstrangedFromYourAdultChildHi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.For more information, please visit https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.You'll peel back the second layer of the coercive-control “onion” and learn seven concrete ways control shows up: isolation, monitoring and surveillance, degradation and humiliation, control over everyday life, gaslighting, threats and intimidation, and rules with punishments. You'll hear real-life examples (from “just preferences” to silent treatments) and why these patterns so often lead to estrangement. Most importantly, you'll get calm, practical guidance on what you can do right now—how to keep communication gentle and consistent, how to avoid confronting the partner (and why that matters), and how to signal a safe haven without adding pressure. If you suspect coercion in your adult child's relationship, this episode gives you language, lenses, and next steps—at a pace that protects connection.**All stories are an amalgamation of stories shared by clients and podcast listeners.Related EpisodesPeeling the Onion One Layer At a Time (Layer 1) - Overview of Coercive Control and Estrangement — the foundation for this series; defines the dynamics and why they escalate.Peeling the Onion One Layer At a Time (Layer 3) Gatekeepers & Coercive Control  Navigating “gatekeepers” without triggering coercive abuse and further estrangement.#FamilyEstrangement #CoerciveControl #EstrangedAdultChildren #ParentReconnection #Gaslighting #ParentalAlienation #ParentChildReunification #FamilyCommunication #EstrangementGrief #ReconnectionStrategist #EstrangementExpert #DomesticAbuseAwareness #AdultChildRelationships #FaithFamilyHopeSupport the showFor more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement. The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.In this episode of When Our Adult Children Walk Away, Dr. Janet Steinkamp helps you peel back the first layer of the topic of coercive control. If you've noticed your estranged adult child suddenly changing their identity, distancing from family, or echoing words that don't sound like their own, you may be witnessing coercive influence at work.You'll learn what coercive control looks like and why it is so pervasive in parental estrangement, why it's so hard to detect, and the seven key warning signs to watch for—like social isolation, gaslighting, and control over daily life. More importantly, you'll gain encouragement and practical strategies for keeping the light on in your relationship without fueling the coercive partner's power.This is about giving you clarity and hope as you navigate the painful reality of estrangement while still holding space for love, trust, and reconnection with your child.Mentioned EpisodesWhen Communication Becomes a Power Struggle: Power, Influence, Gaslighting & Coercive ControlFuture mini-series: Seven Aspects of Coercive ControlSuggested Reading: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/it-is-all-coercive-control/202508/when-estrangement-masks-abuse #familyestrangement, #estrangedadultchild, #coercivecontrol, #parentreconnection, #estrangementexpert, #parentalalienation, #adultestrangement, #repairingrelationshipsSupport the showFor more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement. The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.Jealousy is a natural emotion, and still, it can complicate an already painful estrangement.In this thoughtful episode, Dr. Janet helps parents and adult children understand the role jealousy plays in their strained or fractured relationships.Parents, you're not alone in this. Estranged adult children also tell us they experience jealousy. But the experience for parents and adult children is different. What does jealousy have to do with estrangement? And pointedly, how can jealousy hinder our ability to establish healthy and respectful communication?Listen in to hear compassionate insights and consider practical examples. This episode offers tools to recognize, manage, and move through jealousy in healthy ways.Past episodes referenced in this conversation:The Continuum of EstrangementFriendly Advocate or Flying Monkey (Short)What is the Difference: Gaslighting vs ReframingSupport the showFor more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement. The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

Estrangement is often painful, disorienting and frustrating. Even the most well-intended parents can unknowingly make things worse. In this episode, I explore the six common mistakes I see parents make when struggling to reconnect.The ways we communicate, such as blaming, shaming, guilt-tripping, and insulting, push our adult children further away. It's easy to fall into rounds of tit-for-tat communication or send a heartfelt apology letter that lands flat or is ignored.This episode offers insights that can help you consider and reflect on whether you might be, with or without intention, contributing to your estrangement circumstances.Join me to learn, adjust and prepare yourself to respond with empathy, patience, and wisdom, paving the way for authentic and lasting connections.Past episodes referenced in this conversation:Grief Series Overview - 6 Stages of Estrangement Grief Episode 1 of 73 Lies and a Truth - The Amends LetterThe Three A's: Apology, Accountability & Amends - What's the Difference and Why It MattersHi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.For more information, please visit https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

In estrangement, power, influence, coercive control, and gaslighting aren't just words—they're underlying dynamics shaping every conversation, every accusation, and every attempt to communicate. Sometimes emotionally charged dynamics are fueled by our communication style, sometimes by our adult child's, and sometimes by someone else entirely. Enter the concept of coercive control and the cult-of-one dynamic.In this episode, we begin to explore these dynamics, uncover the difference between power and influence, and learn how to avoid slipping into coercive control or gaslighting, no matter who's setting the trap. Queue up the episode and let's get started.Past episodes referenced in this conversation:The Continuum of EstrangementWhat is the Difference: Gaslighting vs ReframingNote to Self: 10 Daily Tips to Keep You in the Parent-Partner LaneFriendly Advocate or Flying Monkey? (Extended)Rebuilding Trust: How Estranged Moms Can ReconnectHi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.For more information, please visit https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.Join me as I walk you through the challenges and some solutions when you need to respond to invitations scheduled on or related to high-risk days. So often, these events include your adult child. So what then?!How do our adult children decide whether to attend family events, annual festivities where you'll be present, etc?In this episode, I provide a decision-making process to help you choose whether to attend high-risk social events.What happens when a social invitation coincides with a high-risk day during estrangement? What should a parent do? Think through this challenging decision: why we might feel pressure to attend, how adult children are also navigating similar questions, and when choosing to attend—or decline—might be the healthiest path. Past episodes referenced in this conversation:Cracking the Busy Body Code: Managing Your MessageFriendly Advocate or Flying Monkey? (Short)Support the showFor more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement. The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.When estrangement is part of your life, even small talk can feel fraught. In this episode, I help parents prepare and practice responses for when people — from close friends to casual acquaintances — ask about their adult children or grandchildren. Practice, practice, practice. Thoughtful, intentional responses to questions about our estrangement circumstances can preserve privacy, reduce gossip, and keep the door open for future reconciliation. By responding with positivity, honesty and gratitude, all parties concerned can feel they've done their part to support us, to show concern, and we feel like we're keeping the light on. When a busybody comes with questions, we handle them differently. To learn more about managing busy bodies without causing conflict or increasing their curiousity check out the episode titiled Cracking the Busy Body Code: Managing Your Messagehttps://www.buzzsprout.com/admin/2134816/episodes/15899426-cracking-the-busy-body-code-managing-your-message   Support the showFor more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement. The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

Hi and welcome to the WOACWA podcast.I want to invite you to rethink the dynamics of parenting adult children through the lens of yin and yang—balancing empathy with wisdom, flexibility with boundaries. In this episode, we explore how excessive permissiveness or parenting grounded in control can harm our relationships, in particular, our relationships with our adult children. We explore strategies for communicating and setting healthy boundaries with your adult children without alienating them.For parents seeking a stronger, trust-based relationship with their grown children, this episode offers honest insights and encouragement.Past episodes referenced in this conversation:The Hardest Days: What is a High Risk Day and How to Prepare (Overview) Episode 1 of 5Houston, We Have a Problem! Are Parents Scubbing the Launch?Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.For more information, please visit https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

Do they think about us? Do they miss us? What are they doing on this particular day or during this time of year? So often, we imagine that they've forgotten us, put our family in a box on a shelf. We worry that they've moved on without us, never to wonder about us again.In this episode, I offer insight into how emotionally charged, high-risk days —such as holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries, differ for estranged parents and adult children. Together, we explore how this understanding can foster empathy, reduce blame, and support us as we find ways to strengthen or reopen communication.We look at five key differences in our experiences as estranged parents and their experiences as the adult child who walked away.Anticipation vs AvoidanceIdentity and Role ConfusionPublic Pressure vs Private PainLonging vs ReliefRituals of GriefAnd in the end, why does it even matter if we consider what it may be like to be in their shoes? Empathy isn't about agreeing or changing how we feel about our experiences; it's about recognizing that our experience is not the only one that needs understanding.When we soften judgment, open our hearts and set aside our grief, even for just a little while, we create space for new understanding and new perspective.We begin to prepare for future dialogues and reduce the potential for increased distance.Acknowledging emotional differences is a step toward relational safety and potential healing.Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.For more information, please visit https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.If you're an estranged parent working with a therapist—or thinking about it—this episode is a must-listen. In this episode, I walk listeners through five common mistakes therapists make when working with us, the estranged parents. From unfair blame to giving advice, therapists who are not familiar with familial estrangement may actually worsen the situation. I offer insights to help you recognize red flags and get the most beneficial and effective therapeutic services to assist you in navigating your estranged relationship. Grab your notebook and your favorite chair, and let's dig into this important topic together.Support the showFor more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement. The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.This episode is especially for our dads experiencing some degree of estrangement from their adult child.Father's Day is coming up—and if you're an estranged father, you know this day can land like a punch to the gut. Whether you're sitting in silence, hoping for a message that may never come, missing the traditions of the past or wondering if reaching out is the right move… this episode is for you.Let's talk about what makes Father's Day so hard for estranged dads—and how you can take care of your heart while staying open to healing.HighlightsFather's Day can stir deep emotional pain: feelings of loneliness, guilt, or shame—and society often compounds that by painting a picture of what fatherhood “should” look like.Estranged dads often wrestle with tough questions: Will my child reach out? Should I say something first? What if I just make things worse?Develop a strategy for open communication:  recognize and respond to your estranged adult child's boundaries. Plan your response to and recognition of their needs and expectations.If you're considering reaching out this Father's Day, lead with reflection, not reaction: Keep messages simple and pressure-free, and know that trust is built through steady, respectful steps over time—not just one day.#EstrangedDads #EstrangedParents #EmotionalHealing #GriefSupport #MentalHealth #RebuildTrusthttps://www.whenouradultchildrenwalkaway.com/aboutFor more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement. The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

Are you a dad of an estranged adult child wondering, "How did things get this far?"—you're not alone. In this short but eye-opening episode, we unpack the real reasons many adult children choose to step away from their fathers. From unresolved childhood pain to emotional disconnect, this conversation sheds light on the deeper issues that often go unspoken.We'll also talk about how traditional views of fatherhood and masculinity can unintentionally block healing - and why some common fatherly reactions, like defensiveness or blame, often backfire.Whether you're trying to make sense of the silence or hoping to build a path toward reconnection, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and concrete steps forward.Highlights:The most common (and often hidden) reasons adult children cut ties with their fathersWhy saying “I did my best” may be heard as deflection, not careWhat real accountability looks like—and how it can open the door to healingHow to respect your child's boundaries while still showing up with hope and integrityIf this episode resonates, consider sharing it with another parent who might need it. And don't forget to follow the show so you don't miss future episodes on healing estrangement, rebuilding trust, and growing through the hard stuff.#EstrangedDads #EstrangedParents #EmotionalIncest #EmotionalHealing #GriefSupport #MentalHealthHi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.For more information, please visit https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

What's the difference between an apology, accountability, and making amends? Why does it matter so much to your adult child when you're estranged from them? I can't seem to get it right! In this episode of When Our Adult Children Walk Away, Dr. Janet Steinkamp unpacks the emotional and practical power of these three crucial tools.You'll learn: ✔️ Why simple apologies often fall short ✔️ How to take meaningful accountability without excuses ✔️ What makes amends letters work—or fail ✔️ Why consistent behavior change is the foundation of trustWhether you still have contact or are navigating deep silence, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and guidance for building a path toward possible reconciliation—or simply becoming a healthier version of yourself.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.This episode is a follow-up to our Mother's Day conversation—and it's all about what to do next. If you've been blamed, shut out, or accused of things that hurt to hear… this one's for you.We'll walk through how moms can start rebuilding trust when a relationship with their adult child is fractured or strained, especially when they're not sure how to begin. Each point helps build a roadmap to reestablish communication channels, listen actively, and build a truth-based relationship. Learn how to respond with humility, strength, and real change.We'll talk about: ✔️ How to recognize, stop overstepping and start respecting boundaries ✔️ When to apologize—and how to do it without making things worse ✔️ Why listening (really listening) is more powerful than defending ✔️ What to say—and what not to say—when trust is brokenYou're not alone. You don't have to be perfect. If you're willing to do the work, there's hope for reestablishing a respectful and healthy connection.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.Premier Content - Subscriber-only EpisodeHi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.This one's tough—there's no getting around it. And! It is a new and growing element of conversations related to estrangement.There was a time when incest was all-inclusive - physical, mental, emotional, etc. The times have changed. Around 2002, the mental health world began to recognize emotional incest as its own and different trauma. The core difference between physical and emotional incest is that physical abuse is often not involved in emotional incest.Emotional incest is a term that can feel offensive, confusing, or just plain shocking, especially if it's thrown at you as an accusation. Learning about the concept of emotional incest also gives you a chance to look at your upbringing and how your parents raised you.More and more adult children use it to describe parts of their childhood that felt overwhelming or emotionally out of balance.You'll hear about:What emotional incest shows up in everyday family lifeHow emotional boundaries can get blurred, even with good intentionsWhy some adult children are using this term to express painHow to reflect without getting stuck in shame or blameRemember, my podcast content isn't about agreeing with everything you hear—it's about understanding where some of the hurt may have come. For both you and for your hurting adult child. If you've been accused of emotional incest, or just want to know what it means, take a listen.This episode gives you a chance to take a peek at emotional incest with honesty and courage. Knowledge is power and can open our eyes to blind spots. Knowledge can lead to compassion for everyone involved.#EstrangedParents #EmotionalIncest #EmotionalHealing #GriefSupport #MentalHealthSupport the showFor more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement. The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.Some days are more difficult than others. Some days shine a spotlight on our estrangement grief - the silence and loneliness. These are high-risk days. On high-risk days, the silence can be deafening. High-risk days trigger more intense feelings. Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and other important days can be reminders of your estranged adult child. These are what we refer to as high-risk days. High-risk days often reopen emotional wounds and bring the pain and dejection of parental estrangement rushing back because the emotional distance or absence of an estranged adult child becomes more obvious to us - and to others.In this special overview episode, you'll be introduced to the concept of high-risk days and why they can be especially overwhelming for people navigating estrangement. You'll learn what to expect emotionally and why recognizing, planning for, and implementing survival strategies is essential in healing. Strategies are the key to maintaining emotional balance and protecting mental health. Pre-planned strategies empower, fortify and build confidence. First, we plan the plan, and then we follow the plan.This episode is the first in a five-part podcast series dedicated to helping estranged parents prepare for and survive our estrangement's most emotionally vulnerable times.In this episode, you'll discover:·         What qualifies as a high-risk day·         Why high-risk days often trigger more intense grief and anxiety·         How to begin preparing emotionally, mentally and physicallyIf you're a parent estranged from your adult child, this series is designed to give you the language, tools, and support you need to get through these days and gently care for yourself within them.#EstrangedParents #FamilyEstrangement #HighRishDays #SelfCareforParents  #CopingWithGriefSupport the showFor more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement. The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.Mother's Day can bring up a lot of emotional turmoil, can trigger our grief, and can shine a light on the empty chair at the dinner table - especially when your relationship with your adult child feels broken or distant. In this episode, we'll examine 10 reasons adult children who are or have been estranged say they step back or walk away from their moms. We'll also consider how you might respond to open the door instead of pushing them further away.We'll talk through:✔️ What estranged adult children mean when they bring up things like “control” or “favoritism”.✔️ How to respond without getting defensive—even when it hurts✔️ Ways to show empathy, take responsibility, and rebuild trust✔️ What accountability actually sounds like in real-life conversationsThis isn't about blame—it's about understanding. It's about getting honest, staying humble, and taking steps toward a healthier relationship, even if that road is long.Support the showFor more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement. The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement. All opinions expressed are my own and are shared with you, the listener, from a place of healing and learning.

Subscriber-only episodeHi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.Whether it's a holiday, birthday, or significant life event, high-risk days may – usually do - heighten the pain, loneliness and embarrassment of estrangement. In this episode of When Our Adult Children Walk Away, Dr. Janet Steinkamp offers practical strategies to help you prepare, set boundaries, and maintain emotional balance.

Subscriber-only episodeHi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.If you're experiencing some degree of estrangement, you have almost certainly experienced the sting of rejection and the emotional gut punch of dejection. When some part of our involvement in our relationship is rejected, we can become overwhelmed by disbelief, anger,  hurt feelings and despair. In this episode, we're breaking it down. Rejection is the action – the delivery of the message. It is what happens when someone shuts you out—it's external. Dejection? That's the inner impact - the emotional crash, confusion, and heartbreak that lingers.We'll talk about how these emotions show up in estranged family relationships. In future and related episodes, we'll explore how to handle both to keep you moving forward. If your messages of love and attempts to be supported have been dismissed or perceived to be harmful in some way, and if you've ever felt shut out or disappointed, take a listen!For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.Ever wondered whether you need a therapist or a coach to help with your family estrangement (or any big life challenge)? Or maybe both? What if a person is professionally licensed and trained as both a therapist and an estrangement coach?In this episode, we break down the key differences between the two—how they work, what they focus on, and who might be the best fit for your circumstances.We'll talk about when therapy is the right call, when coaching might be a better fit, and how to tell if the professional you're working with is actually helping. Whether you're looking for deep emotional healing or practical strategies to move forward, this episode will help you figure out your next step!For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Subscriber-only episodeHi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.This is a premium Subscriber episode. This is the link to subscribe. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2134816/subscribe  Please contact me at Janet@JESteinkamp.com if you have difficulty subscribing or have other questions. Thank you.In this episode, we're diving into the different but complementary roles therapists and coaches play in family estrangement—whether they're helping to heal relationships or, sometimes unintentionally, making the divide even deeper. We'll explore how different approaches can open the door to establishing a healthy and respectful connection or push people further apart.You'll hear about the impact of therapy models, personal biases, and communication strategies on estranged families. Plus, we'll discuss how parents and adult children can find professionals who truly support their goals—whether that means working toward reconnection or setting healthier boundaries. If you've ever wondered why some therapy helps and some seem to hurt, take a listen!For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.Walking on Eggshells is a concept we use to describe the extreme hypersensitivity parents feel when their relationship with their adult child is faltering. It means being hyper-aware or fearful of saying or doing anything that might upset the estranged child, often to avoid further damage to an already fragile relationship. This can lead to stress, frustration, and feelings of helplessness for parents. One of the most frequent topics in our conversations is whether the noise and discomfort of the eggshell stage will always be part of a struggling relationship and how to get back to “normal.” In the previous episode, we considered the first 1 - 10 reasons we benefit from the noise of our cracking eggshells. Now, we dig deep into reasons 11 -20. As you listen, consider how you can harness your eggshells' crunching noise (and discomfort) to understand your adult child's needs, boundaries and expectations. By embracing your eggshells (and theirs), you can learn how to relate differently and establish a trust-based and mutually gratifying relationship.For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.Unlike the short episode with the same title, this episode examines differences and similarities in how moms and dads describe their experiences and strategies for navigating estrangement.I hesitate to categorize how we experience and navigate estrangement by our gender and family role. The concept oversimplifies and discounts the complexities of our individual, emotional, social, relational, cognitive and physical uniqueness. So, for this episode, please consider your role in the family over your at-birth sex. If you have the role of nurturer, then consider listening as the traditional 'gatherer' or mom role. If you are more of the provider or 'hunter' than listen with an ear for the hunter role. We are each shaped by societal expectations, assigned familial roles, and the people in our lives. We are taught what is right and wrong in the context of societal and family (the people who raise us) values - beliefs - traditions. We grow up in different circumstances and bring our unique selves to our relationships. So, it makes sense that we each have individual relationships with our children. Still, some elements (generally speaking) can be considered familial-role specific.These differences and similarities can influence how we process the distancing of our adult son or daughter, respond to feelings of rejection, and prepare to be our best selves when opportunities to reconnect or connect present themselves. The same is true for our adult children—they see us and experience us as their parents through their unique lenses.Please listen and let me know what you think. You can share your questions and comments at Janet@jesteinkamp or go to the When Our Adult Children Walk Away website and post a comment. I read and respond to all emails that reach my inbox.  Remember - be brave!For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.In this episode, we dig into some of the differences and similarities of how moms and dads tell us they experience and navigate estrangement. Yes, dads and moms often experience estrangement differently. And, in ways, similarly. Only... we know it isn't really that simple, right?I hesitate to categorize how we experience and navigate estrangement by our gender. The concept oversimplifies and discounts the complexities of our individual, emotional, social, relational, cognitive and physical uniqueness. We are each shaped by societal expectations, gender roles, and the people around us. We are taught what is right and wrong in the context of our families values. We each are raised in different circumstances and bring our unique selves as a whole to our relationships. So, it only makes sense that we each also have individual relationships with our children. And... still there are some elements (generally speaking) that can be considered gender specific. These differences can influence how we process the distancing of our adult son or daughter, how we respond to feelings of rejection, and how we prepare to be our best selves when opportunities to reconnect or connect present themselves.Take a listen and let me know what you think. Share your questions and comments at Janet@jesteinkamp.com. Or go to the When Our Adult Children Walk Away website and post a comment. I do read and respond to all email that finds it's way to my inbox. Thank you. And be brave!For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.20 Reasons Walking on Egg Shells is a Gift  - A Deep Dive Into Reasons 1-10 (Extended)Walking on Eggshells is a concept we use to describe the extreme hypersensitivity parents feel when their relationship with their adult child is faltering. It means being hyper-aware or fearful of saying or doing anything that might upset the estranged child, often to avoid further damage to an already fragile relationship. This can lead to stress, frustration, and feelings of helplessness for parents. One of the most frequent questions I hear is whether the eggshells will always be a part of a struggling relationship. And how to get back to “normal”. In this episode, I take a deep dive into 1 - 10 of the 20 aspects of walking on eggshells – and how to harness the crunching noise to understand your adult child's boundaries. By embracing your eggshells (and theirs), you can learn how to relate differently and establish a trust-based and mutually gratifying relationship.Look for the 2nd extended episode. In it I dig into 11-20 of the 20 Reasons Walking on Egg Shells is a Gift.For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair!The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.The "Let Them Go" movement grew out of the emerging phenomenon of parental and family estrangement. Originally the movement was based on positive acceptance, open minded awareness, and love. This movement emphasizes personal well-being and the right to distance oneself from harmful dynamics.More recently, the movement has spun off a 2nd movement. We now hear from a “Let Them Go – Good Riddance” faction. In this episode I provide an overview of originally intended “Let Them Go” philosophy. In an extended episode, I will dig deep into the original spirit, how and why the movement morphed to include the “Good Riddance” offshoot. And we compare and contrast the potential outcomes of both. For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.Walking on Eggshells is a concept we use to describe the extreme hypersensitivity parents feel when their relationship with their adult child is faltering. It means being hyper-aware or fearful of saying or doing anything that might upset the estranged child, often to avoid further damage to an already fragile relationship. This can lead to stress, frustration, and feelings of helplessness for parents. One of the most frequent questions I hear is whether the eggshells will always be a part of a struggling relationship. And how to get back to “normal”. This episode introduces the 20 aspects of walking on eggshells – and how to harness the crunching noise to understand your adult child's boundaries. By embracing your eggshells, you can learn how to relate differently and establish a trust based and mutually gratifying relationshipIn two future extended episodes, I will dig into 1-10 and 11-20 of the Reasons Walking on Egg Shells is a Gift.For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.In this episode, I discuss six tips that will proactively ensure you give space to your adult child and avoid misrepresentation by others. This topic is a continuation of discussions about communication, how to maintain it, how to ensure direct access if and when either the parent or adult child is compelled to reach out, and how to ensure others represent you accurately to others who may also be in contact with your adult child. These tips will help ensure your communication is authentic, accurate, timely, and respectful. Using these tips, you can engage in proactive communication, demonstrate consistent behavior, and address any potential sources of misrepresentation directly.For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.In this episode, we consider avoiding or getting out of the habit of catastrophizing. You might be saying, “Hasn't the worst already happened?” I suggest that it hasn't. Or, maybe it's more accurate to say that anticipating a catastrophe does not help move you toward preparing to repair and establish a new connection. Catastrophizing holds you in disbelief, anger and despair.Catastrophizing is a common behavior that affects many people during times of stress. Well… when is life more stressful than when our adult child starts pulling away, stops communicating constructively or goes no contact?The good news is that catastrophizing does not necessarily signal a mental health condition. In fact, preparing for the worst-case scenario can be a coping mechanism and defense mechanism. However, it is also true that if it becomes a chronic habit or interferes with daily life and functioning, it may be a sign of depression or anxiety. If you find yourself unable to stop the worst-case cycling in your head, please consider finding a licensed mental health provider who can assist in quieting the cycle.For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.In this episode, we crack the Busy Body Code. I share several easy strategies to manage a busy body by controlling your message. You can protect your privacy, ensuring that more energy can focus on maintaining emotional well-being. I share several responses you can use when approached by even the most well-meaning "share-er." I provide ways to sort through publicly neutral messaging to ensure the difficulties you're experiencing with your adult child are not enflamed by misinformation or the appearance that you aren't protecting your family's privacy.For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.So often, people who love and support us are also in contact with or know our distancing or estranged adult child. I'm frequently asked whether it is "a good idea" or "will it work" to have one of these people talk to the adult child on the parent's behalf. I also hear stories about people taking it upon themselves to  approach an adult child without the parent's involvement—to defend us, advocate for us, or encourage our adult children to "stop the madness." The third scenario related to this topic involves parents recruiting, encouraging or requesting that a friend or family member approach their estranged child to advocate on their behalf. Regardless of who, how or why people advocate for us, after a time, these efforts often end in more sadness and disappointment for the parent. So, how can we make sense of it when advocacy for the parents does not bring the intended outcomes?In this episode, I explore these three scenarios from the adult child's perspective. You'll hear some strategies for navigating all three, and I'll explain why ensuring a clear and direct path for communication between the adult child and estranged parent becomes essential.This episode explores this topic in more depth. For a quick overview, check out the (Short) episode with the same title.For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.Adult children involved in estrangement often use specific terms and phrases to articulate their feelings and experiences. Newly estranged parents must understand and adopt these terms in today's context to fully grasp what their adult child tells them. It is not unusual for parents to become frustrated and feel imposed upon when they learn the new definitions and meanings of words and phrases. It may be helpful to know that the overuse of words and the evolution of their meaning is not a new phenomenon. Think back to when you were a young adult and you'll find plenty of terms we used in ways our parents no longer recognized.When terms become pedestrian or overused, they become overly familiar and perhaps even clichéd. The original meaning of a term or phrase becomes diluted and generalized. Several terms or phrases used by estranged adult children have been used so frequently over time that they have lost their emotional impact and fail to capture the nuanced experiences and feelings in the same way as in the past. Conversations can quickly become twisted and tangled if there are significant differences in past definitions and what terms mean today. The adult child and parent can leave a conversation with hurt feelings from unintended messages. I call this a communication disconnect.This episode's purpose is to assist parents in understanding key terms and phrases commonly used in our adult child's world. Importantly, learn them in today's context. I recommend that if you listen to this episode and get frustrated and want to debate, let it go. Don't scoff, don't dismiss and don't be offended. Instead, dedicate your energy to adopting the new meanings and get comfortable using them accordingly. Your adult child may take note of your determination to 'get on board' with them.As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts about this episode. Feel free to message me through the Contact Janet feature of the whenouradultchildrenwalkaway.com website. Make sure to leave contact information so I can respond.For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.So often, people who love and support us are also in contact with or know our distancing or estranged adult child. I'm often asked whether it is "a good idea" or "will it work" to have one of these people talk to the adult child on the parent's behalf.   I also hear stories about people taking it upon themselves to  approach an adult child without the parent's involvement—to defend us, advocate for us, or encourage our adult children to "stop the madness."   The third scenario related to this topic involves parents recruiting, encouraging or requesting that a friend or family member approach their estranged child to advocate on their behalf.   Regardless of who, how or why people advocate for us, after a time, these efforts often end in more sadness and disappointment for the parent. So, how can we make sense of it when advocacy on behalf of the parent's does not bring the intended outcomes?In this episode, I explore these three scenarios from the adult child's perspective. You'll hear some strategies for navigating all three, and I'll explain why ensuring a clear and direct path for communication between the adult child and estranged parent becomes essential.  This episode is a shorter introduction to the topic. For a deeper dive, you can find the expanded episode on the When Our Adult Children Walk Away website.For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.Memory distortion is common in our human experience. It can be particularly relevant in crumbling relationships between parents and their adult children. Too often, what were once happy or benign memories morph - seemingly - suddenly into abusive and traumatic events. Parents are often caught off guard and sent reeling into a cycle of disbelief, anger, helplessness and pain.To complicate matters further, outsiders can influence or drive the reconstructive process. Have you heard the terms Gaslighting and Cult of One? Check out those specific episodes for more information.So, what is the difference between what we organically recall (reproductive memory) and the changed or revised version (reconstructive memory)? The metamorphosis of memory can and does affect us all. If you think it doesn't happen to you, read things you wrote years ago. Consider a diary or your child's baby book. You will likely find discrepancies between what you wrote and when you recall. You might wonder if you mistakenly wrote things in the original document or if your memories have changed.Revision of memory is a usual and natural human process. However, in the face of estrangement, transforming memory can and often does lead to disastrous outcomes.Listen in to learn more about the differences and processes that occur. Then, when you want more information and to explore this topic more deeply, look for the extended version.For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.Memory distortion is common in our human experience. It can be particularly relevant in crumbling relationships between parents and their adult children. Too often, what were once happy or benign memories morph - seemingly - suddenly into abusive and traumatic events. Parents are often caught off guard and sent reeling into a cycle of disbelief, anger, helplessness and pain.To complicate matters further, outsiders can influence or drive the reconstructive process. Have you heard the terms Gaslighting and Cult of One? Check out those specific episodes for more information.So, what is the difference between what we organically recall (reproductive memory) and the changed or revised version (reconstructive memory)? The metamorphosis of memory can and does affect us all. If you think it doesn't happen to you, read things you wrote years ago. Consider a diary or your child's baby book. You will likely find discrepancies between what you wrote and when you recall. You might wonder if you mistakenly wrote things in the original document or if your memories have changed.Revision of memory is a usual and natural human process. However, in the face of estrangement, transforming memory can and often does lead to disastrous outcomes.Listen in to learn more about the differences and processes that take place. When you want more information and to explore this topic more deeply, look for the extended version.For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.A few years ago, in the middle years of our family's estrangement from my adult daughter and grandchildren, I adopted the phrase "Parent Partner.” I borrowed the term from the early days of divorcing parents (remember Gweneth Paltro's divorce from Chris Martin?) working together to co-parent young children. The concept is that divorcing parent-partners choose to work collaboratively, in a friendly manner, to jointly parent young children. They may even vacation together, celebrate birthdays together, etc. The separation we - the parents - experience from our maturing children is actually a close cousin to the concept of divorce. If we manage it well, it doesn't have to lead to estrangement.The Oxford Dictionary defines divorce as " the separation or dissociation from something.” Isn't this what happens as our children individuate from us in their young adult years? In my experience, it certainly felt like a divorce at times. Individuation is natural. It is natural for our adult children to separate from us as their primary family - to create their own separate lives.So (insert shoulder shrug here), why not adapt proactively and intentionally in our relationship with our adult child?This episode provides 10 tips for growing into the parent-partner role, including how to integrate our adult children's expectations and needs - in the face of today's complex world - so we can stay connected and actively involved in their lives - AND not risk estrangement. For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.In healthy and effective communication, the strategic use of apologies and explanations can significantly influence the outcome and effectiveness of our efforts to manage potential rifts in our relationships. Both play an essential role in maintaining trust, reducing confusion and ensuring seemingly small grievances don't become catastrophic.In this episode I provide a detailed explanation of how apologies and explanations function within the context of conflict management. In short, where apologies address the emotional aspects of a conflict, explanations tackle the rational side. By understanding when and how to use each communication tool strategically, we can foster an environment of trust, clarity, and mutual respect, leading to a more healthy and mutually respectful relationship.Listen to the shorter episode to hear a brief and specific explanation of the differences between an apology and an explanation.For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.In healthy and effective communication, the strategic use of apologies and explanations can significantly influence the outcome and effectiveness of our efforts to manage potential rifts in our relationships. Both play an essential role in maintaining trust, reducing confusion and ensuring seemingly small grievances don't become catastrophic.Where apologies address the emotional aspects of a conflict, explanations tackle the rational side. By understanding when and how to use each communication tool strategically, we can foster an environment of trust, clarity, and mutual respect, leading to a more healthy and mutually respectful relationship. In this episode, I provide a brief and specific explanation of the differences  between an apology and an explanation.Listen to the extended episode to learn more about how and when to use each.  For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.This Sunday in the US is Father's Day.  Many families around the country will spend time celebrating their dads. But, the day can be difficult for our estranged dads - and research tells us that the same is true for many of their estranged adult children. For estranged dads and adult children, the day shines a spotlight on circumstances that led to their strained or fractured relationships.Estranged relationships between any parent and their adult children are frequently incredibly painful and complex. There are differences between how moms and dads experience estrangement. So often, the moms lead the conversations when we meet or lead the effort to find help. It may appear that the dads are less affected. And yet we know dads are also hurting, scared and angry.In this episode, I share findings from a reliable research study on fathers and estranged adult children. In particular, the research I reference in this episode comes from this article: Parent–adult child estrangement in the United States by gender, race/ethnicity, and sexuality - by Reczek, Stacey and Thomeer. The Reczek study is unique because it is one of the few that used longitudinal data collected to examine national trends (including family estrangement) over time. The study began in 1979 with ongoing and supplemental study of the same group of people through 2020.Take a few minutes to read the article if you're interested in the US statistics around father-adult child estrangement. The list of references at the end of the article provides an extensive treasure trove of scholarly articles, research-based books, and other resources.For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail.Parenting doesn't end when our children grow into adulthood; it just evolves into a different phase with its own set of challenges. Parents often struggle with letting their children become independent adults. It can be hard to transition from being the primary decision-maker to taking a backseat role in their lives.We are challenged to Let Go. We are faced with finding a new balance in how much support we provide and how much we honor our maturing children in their quest for independence. We face different and heavy financial concerns. Communication changes and boundaries shift.We begin to experience empty nest syndrome and our adult relationships may shift without children at the center.  And, last but not least, the expectations of both parents and adult children evolve.In this episode, I begin to scratch the surface of this ominous and sometimes joyous stage of parenting. Grab a chair and take a listen. Thanks for joining in!For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair! The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.