But I'm Still A Good Person by Vince Nicholas

LG versus Samsung, Costco versus Lowe's & please don't be judas

my wife was r****

Galactus sucks, Sue Storm's powers suck & Pedro Pascal isn't handsome

arguing over shrimp chips, i wish i'd seen someone from high school but only if they aged poorly & green be yellow

i hate flying, stuff my mum says & an egg roll was stolen

also: Carolyn vacuumed the hair & fingernails from her car, Luna & Carolyn visited me at work and Michael Bolton has brain cancer.

also, i was gifted a pricey piece of kpop merch

Lenn's bike was eviscerated, Frankie has signed a peace accord with our window screens & we watched that true crime doc Unknown Number

the lottery preys on losers like me

Girl put your trad wife hat on..

also, bringing dirty books into the bedroom & when's the last time you used your car horn?

"I'll go but I ain't drinkin' and I ain't eatin'" (I ate & drank) and "Esteban doesn't want Miguel to go"

also, do these shoes make me look fat?

also, Carolyn cuts her nails in her car, how close to empty do you let you car gas tank get? & we watched that Biggest Loser documentary

Raised back of hand with no skin tone

also, we saw some losers at the Gross Out, Meineke said Carolyn's car needed over $2,000 in repairs & I have a fun fact about Herman's Head

like, comma, later

also, i couldn't unclog our shower drain and carolyn has a casual case of stalking an instagram influencer

also, i got new kicks, missed my 30th high school reunion & made the most difficult decision I've ever made in my life

also, frankie blue (the gray menace) struck again, my fried rice is better than Panda's & we ate a 3k calorie chicken pot pie

also: we ate french fry pizza, frankie got a new litterbox and carolyn's thighs hurt

also, foot locker versus footaction

bring back the 1987 Mariel Hemingway!

Have fun storming the castle!

there's lots of bending at libraries, singing in the grotto, zoom o'er the enemy, & dont u hate highways with businesses on them?!

it's called restitution

let's live like we're in the plot of an 80s high school movie!

all i needed was a red beret

also, How to properly buy a balloon at the Dollar Tree

also, when did oil changes begin costing $80? & the search for yellow price tags

also, our votes are for sale, we spotted the bird pooper & we watched trainwreck: poop cruise

also, these books ain't goin' down to Mexico!

also, remember being a kid and hearing the garage door open when your parents came home?

news flash: the dmv website sucks!

also, Vince helped an old lady at target, we have bird poop & dead plant problems and the shrimp nerve line

HAVE YOU EVEN PLAYED IKARI WARRIORS ON MAMA?!!?

also, Vince HATED that movie sinners

also, i watched that new captain america pelicula

also, Lennox's downtown adventure, Vince's butt hurts & Carolyn keeps killing plants

also, does your bite feel normal?

bike lane? more like death zone!

should i let the HVAC guys use our bathroom??

$1.25 Dollar Tree greeting cards are so much better than the 2 for $1 Dollar Tree greeting cards

also, i'm the John Wick of window screens

and how about you don't fall into the river, ya know?

the unused, unloved garlic press, our trash crimes & carolyn went on a date with her mum

also, i pumiced stone my footsies

frankie nearly escaped, we bought a bike from Donut House & a cashier dropped carolyn's banana on the floor

also: vince's snoring is bothering carolyn, vince returned clothes he wore & after 8 months and $50 Lennox finally got a new scooter

also, Carolyn busted some suds, Vince trimmed his leg hair & Karla's blood got onto our bag of pupcorn

also, i know someone who visited chicago and made 16 individual damn instagram posts about it