But I'm Still A Good Person by Vince Nicholas

news flash: the dmv website sucks!

also, Vince helped an old lady at target, we have bird poop & dead plant problems and the shrimp nerve line

HAVE YOU EVEN PLAYED IKARI WARRIORS ON MAMA?!!?

also, Vince HATED that movie sinners

also, i watched that new captain america pelicula

also, Lennox's downtown adventure, Vince's butt hurts & Carolyn keeps killing plants

also, does your bite feel normal?

bike lane? more like death zone!

should i let the HVAC guys use our bathroom??

$1.25 Dollar Tree greeting cards are so much better than the 2 for $1 Dollar Tree greeting cards

also, i'm the John Wick of window screens

and how about you don't fall into the river, ya know?

the unused, unloved garlic press, our trash crimes & carolyn went on a date with her mum

also, i pumiced stone my footsies

frankie nearly escaped, we bought a bike from Donut House & a cashier dropped carolyn's banana on the floor

also: vince's snoring is bothering carolyn, vince returned clothes he wore & after 8 months and $50 Lennox finally got a new scooter

also, Carolyn busted some suds, Vince trimmed his leg hair & Karla's blood got onto our bag of pupcorn

also, i know someone who visited chicago and made 16 individual damn instagram posts about it

we threw away corned beef, karla nearly bled onto our groceries & realty is just some concrete and drywall on top o' dirt

carolyn made donuts, frankie has a pink perch & vince's pedicure lady did not like him

it's Motor City Pizza Co, available at your local costco and other participating retailers nationwide

carolyn made lasagna with orange cheese, put tomatoes in stir fry & vince's 30 year high school reunion is coming up

do you even know what a skirted toilet is?!

I was at work for 5 minutes on Thursday!

nipple height!

also, lennox has homework with due dates but there's no penalty if he turns it in late, so what's up with that?

also, our balcony plants were deemed an HOA violation

also, what would be the theme at our funerals? we said no to buying 60 eggs and a $122 bookcase and carolyn hates paris hilton

also, who would come to our funeral, our toaster oven caught on fire (again) & we talk about our new fave TV show Love After LockUp

also, someone else flashed their brights at me on the freeway!

also, Carolyn had a fried visit, we bought some plants from the clearance section & should Vince admit he mistakenly got over $100 in protein bars for free?

I had a boiz nite out. I was sober & home by 6PM.

Spicy seasoning is too spicy, Carolyn's been setting off the fire alarm and Frankie Blue threw up in our bed.

Our garage door broke, our new years resolution is to only eat chinese & pizza, and fake snow is falling from our fake christmas tree.

Also, do you talk to your spouse while they're on the can?

also, our Christmas tree sucks

Waiting 1 hour for food, moldy oranges and my Baking Queen

Also, Kaiser won't tell me the cost of medicine til they charge me for it, the failed promise of Eraser Mate pens and get yo handz out my almonds!

also, we had an encounter with Mean Shelly again

also, if Carla ain't got it, we don't need it!

also, do you shave your legs when you have goosebumps?

WWGTD (What would Grandma Thien do?)

our christmas tree lights went out, our smoke alarm went off, Carolyn dropped an egg and we witnessed toxic masculinity

Also, Frankie's been crying while pooing, what's your airport drop-off etiquette?, and we've been watching Prison Brides which is a fantastic television show.

and stuff my mum says..

also, please, be more like Ivy

also, our toaster oven caught on fire and realtors be desperate!

i currently have 8 credit cards AND i shoulda never skipped leg day

also: Frankie 9, Window Screens 0; Lennox didn't wear a costume but went trick-or-treating anyway; and do you refrigerate your tomatoes and/ or apples?

i dont wanna be that guy but yet i am that guy..

also, book readers don't be respecting us magazine readers!