Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction

Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use? Click here to book a free clarity call with Sam – https://stopporn.info/    Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Episode Description: In this episode, Sam Tielemans, licensed marriage and family therapist and host of the Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction Podcast, reveals the only plan you need to quit pornography in 2025 — and why everything you've tried before may have failed not because you're broken, but because you've been focused on the wrong problem. Instead of managing urges, guarding against temptation, or just adding more filters and check-ins, this episode explores how pornography use is a coping mechanism — and the real key is learning how to identify and resolve the root cause driving the behavior. Sam shares a powerful analogy using a tipping water bucket to illustrate why men often relapse into porn even when they're doing everything “right.” You'll hear a real story from a husband trying to make sense of why he fell back into porn use, and how the issue wasn't a lack of discipline — it was unresolved shame and emotional pain building up inside. You'll learn: Why the right porn recovery plan must address underlying issues like shame, low self-worth, emotional disconnection, and perfectionism How stress isn't the root issue — but the emotional meanings attached to it are What wives need to understand about pornography addiction in marriage How husbands can rebuild trust in their marriage by showing their wives they're doing the real emotional work Why focusing only on urge management keeps you stuck, tired, and ashamed Whether you're a husband struggling with pornography or a wife trying to understand the healing process, this episode offers clarity, hope, and a clear framework to finally move forward.  

Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use? Click here to book a free clarity call with Sam – https://stopporn.info/    Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Episode Description: After porn addiction is discovered in a relationship, one question almost always rises to the surface: “Why did you do it?” It's one of the most difficult conversations couples face after betrayal trauma, especially when it involves porn addiction and marriage. Wives are often left reeling — trying to make sense of what happened, searching for answers, and feeling like their entire reality has shifted. Husbands, on the other hand, feel overwhelmed, defensive, or shut down — thinking, “I already told her everything. What more can I say?” In this episode, we break down why the question “Why did he watch porn?” keeps coming up, and why giving the “right answer” is never really the point. We'll explore what's actually going on beneath the surface — and how to respond in a way that leads to emotional connection after betrayal instead of more disconnection. You'll learn: Why “just being honest” isn't always enough to rebuild trust after pornography How this question is often tied to deeper needs for emotional connection and safety Why shame and disclosure can block real healing if not handled with clarity How couples can begin healing from betrayal without getting stuck in endless rehashing The real reason most conversations break down when porn addiction recovery begins — and how to change that dynamic Practical tools for both partners to navigate this with compassion and presence If you're navigating trust after pornography, this episode will help you stop spinning in circles and start having the conversations that actually move you forward. Whether you're early in your porn recovery marriage journey or years into the process, this episode will help you understand how to talk through the pain — not around it — and finally feel like you're making progress together.  

Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use? Click here to book a free clarity call with Sam – https://stopporn.info/    Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop – http://trust.stopporn.info   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Episode Description: If you've been stuck in the cycle of pornography for years, trying everything from filters to accountability partners, but still feel like you're not making progress — this episode will change the way you see everything. In today's episode, Sam Tielemans breaks down why so many traditional approaches to porn addiction recovery leave men feeling discouraged, ashamed, and trapped in endless management strategies.  If you've ever been told you just need to “have a plan” or “avoid triggering situations,” this episode offers a powerful reframe: it's not about controlling your environment — it's about healing the root. You'll hear real client stories about men who struggled with urges to watch porn during travel, late nights, and moments of disconnection — and why the real issue wasn't the situation, but unhealed emotional wounds like low self-worth and fear of rejection. Here's what you'll learn in this episode: ✔️ Why returning to porn is predictable — and why it's not about the scenario, it's about the story underneath ✔️ The truth behind “guardrail” strategies and why they don't lead to real freedom ✔️ How to stop managing symptoms and instead use tools that address emotional triggers and shame ✔️ The power of accurate diagnosis: how identifying the real problem makes the path to change simple ✔️ Why relapse prevention isn't about more willpower — it's about root-level transformation ✔️ How to build a plan that supports healing, not just behavior management If you've been worn down by porn urges, constantly falling back into old patterns, or questioning your ability to ever be free — you're not broken. You've just been using the wrong map. This episode is for you if you're ready to: Learn how to stop porn urges at the root Address the hidden link between shame and self-esteem and compulsive behaviors Rebuild connection in your marriage and understand the truth about marriage and porn Finally get clarity on how to quit porn in a way that feels doable, grounded, and lasting This isn't just another pep talk — it's a full reorientation. You don't need more discipline. You need more clarity.

  Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop – http://trust.stopporn.info   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Episode Description: If you're trying to quit pornography but feel like you're constantly falling behind, this episode is exactly what you need. In today's conversation, Sam Tielemans, licensed marriage therapist and coach, breaks down a powerful shift that can help you get unstuck — without burning out. If you've ever thought, “I'm not doing enough,” or you've slipped back into old patterns, this episode will help you refocus and move forward with confidence. You'll learn: ✅ Why feeling stuck in quitting porn doesn't mean you're off track ✅ What to do when you feel like you're falling behind in porn recovery ✅ The real reason your wife might not feel emotionally safe (even if you haven't turned back to porn) ✅ How to rebuild trust after porn through connection, not just checklists ✅ Why the “work” isn't about doing everything — and how couples can redefine the process together ✅ A practical feedback loop that shows you what to focus on to quit porn week by week ✅ How to get back on track with quitting porn even after setbacks Whether you're just starting your journey to quit porn or you've been on this path for a while and feel discouraged, this episode will help you slow down, reset, and take the next right step in your porn addiction help process.

Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use? Click here to book a free clarity call with Sam – https://stopporn.info/    Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop – http://trust.stopporn.info   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Episode Description: Struggling with urges to watch porn that seem to come out of nowhere? In this episode, Sam Tielemans, licensed therapist and host of the Couples Healing From Pornography podcast breaks down why those urges aren't random — they're emotional triggers pointing to deeper, unresolved issues. If you're serious about porn addiction recovery, this episode will help you stop chasing surface-level solutions and start focusing on true healing. You'll learn: ✅ Why the urge is a lagging indicator — and what to do instead ✅ How shame and self-esteem silently drive the cycle ✅ The 3 leading causes behind most relapses (and how to spot them early) ✅ How emotional disconnection in your marriage plays a hidden role in porn relapses ✅ What actually works for relapse prevention — beyond filters and accountability partners Whether you're trying to figure out how to quit porn for good or support your husband through porn addiction recovery, this episode will show you how to stop reacting and start getting ahead of the cycle. This is more than behavior management — it's about real freedom. If you're tired of the fight, and you want to stop porn urges before they start…

Is it really codependency… or are you just craving safety after betrayal? In this episode, Sam Tielemans, licensed marriage therapist and host of the Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction Podcast, unpacks one of the most misunderstood topics in relationships impacted by pornography: codependency. If you've ever felt “too needy” for reassurance, or struggled to reconnect after your spouse's porn use, this conversation will help you understand what's really happening beneath the surface — and how to break the cycle. You'll learn: Why porn addiction creates deep attachment wounds in marriage The difference between codependent behavior and healthy reassurance-seeking How emotional insecurity shows up after betrayal (and what to do instead) A step-by-step example of how couples shift from defensiveness to vulnerability How to ask for reassurance in a way that builds emotional safety and trust The real reason “talking about it” often leads to shutdowns and fights — and how to change that Whether you're a husband trying to rebuild trust or a wife wondering if you're too much, this episode offers powerful insights and practical steps to heal the damage, stop the reactivity, and reconnect from a place of honesty and strength.   Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use? Click here to book a free clarity call with Sam – https://stopporn.info/    Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop – http://trust.stopporn.info   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction. Tune in to get clarity, encouragement, and actionable steps to support your relationship! 

Summertime can be one of the hardest seasons for men working to overcome porn addiction, stay sexually grounded, and rebuild trust in their marriage. With more revealing clothing and constant visual stimulation, many husbands feel guilt and frustration — while their wives feel fear, insecurity, and anxiety. In this powerful episode, Sam Tielemans, licensed marriage and family therapist and expert in porn addiction recovery, unpacks how to handle triggers without shame, how to lead your mind instead of being led by it, and how to create emotional safety in your relationship — even when temptation is everywhere. You'll learn: Why visual triggers aren't actually the problem (and what is) How to redirect your attention without suppressing desire What real sexual mastery looks like (and how to build it) Practical steps to regain focus and emotional control in public settings How to reassure your wife and rebuild trust through open leadership Whether you're trying to stop porn, navigate sexual triggers in marriage, or become the kind of man who stays grounded under pressure — this episode will give you the tools to stand firm like a pier in the waves.   Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use? Click here to book a free clarity call with Sam   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction. Tune in to get clarity, encouragement, and actionable steps to support your relationship! 

Why Stress Triggers Porn Addiction — And How to Break the Pattern If you struggle with porn addiction and find yourself relapsing whenever life gets stressful or overwhelming, this episode is for you.  Sam Tielemans, licensed therapist and expert in porn addiction recovery, reveals the hidden link between stress and pornography use — and how to break the cycle for good. You'll discover: Why stress and overwhelm often trigger porn urges How your brain becomes conditioned to seek porn as an emotional escape The 5-step framework to stop using porn as a coping mechanism How to handle stress without turning to pornography Real client examples of men who rewired their patterns and overcame relapse How to start rebuilding trust in your marriage after porn use Whether you're trying to quit porn, overcome chronic porn relapses, or heal your relationship from the damage porn has caused, this episode will give you a clear, actionable path forward.   Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use? Click here to book a free clarity call with Sam   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction. Tune in to get clarity, encouragement, and actionable steps to support your relationship! 

Welcome back! This is part three of a three-part series to help you make real progress on your healing journey. In the first episode, we talked about five key skills every man needs to stop using porn. In the second episode, we looked at five relationship skills that help couples rebuild trust and feel close again. Today, I want to share a simple framework that shows why people get stuck—and how to move forward faster. When I work with someone, I look for what's in the way of their progress. It usually comes down to one of two things: A knowledge gap – they don't know what to do. An emotional block – they do know what to do, but something inside stops them from doing it. In this episode, I'll walk you through three real-life problems couples often deal with, and show you how this framework can help you figure out your next steps. For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully overcome it, I'll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction. Tune in to get clarity, encouragement, and actionable steps to support your relationship! 

In today's episode, we're diving into five essential skills that will help you and your partner heal and grow after being impacted by pornography use. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, stuck, or unsure where to begin in the recovery process—or if you're willing to do the work but just need direction—this episode is for you. You'll learn about practical, proven skills that have helped hundreds of couples make real progress and strengthen their relationship, no matter what stage you're in. These five skills can help you take the next step forward on your journey to healing together.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully overcome it, I'll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction. Tune in to get clarity, encouragement, and actionable steps to support your relationship! 

Struggling with porn use isn't about who you are—it's about the approach you've been using. Fighting urges after they appear is too late. The key is learning skills to prevent the first domino from falling. When you handle what causes porn use before urges start, freedom becomes possible. In this 3-part series, I'll cover skills to overcome porn use, rebuild relationships, and implement these changes effectively. Today's episode shares five core skills for men to break free. For women listening, seeing your partner work on these will bring you peace. Focus on what happens before the urge, not just on avoiding slips. True recovery means addressing what occurs five steps before temptation begins. Additional resource: A deeper dive on identifying and resolving the root cause: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7uBQEvCU7lxrHQkKmZFc4x?si=nYbUO_MOS1y-Gdw9r-NI0A   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully overcome it, I'll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.  

Today we're talking about something couples rarely discuss: when a husband's interest in sex drops after he stops using porn. For wives, this can feel very confusing and hurtful. After working hard to heal the relationship, it's painful when intimacy doesn't return as expected. She might wonder, "Doesn't he find me attractive? Is he really getting better?" But lower sexual desire after recovery isn't always a bad sign. It's often part of a necessary reset in understanding healthy intimacy. The drive for sex that was powered by fantasy starts to quiet down, creating space for real connection to grow. Today I'll share five reasons why desire decreases during recovery and how couples can build a fulfilling sex life based on both people's needs, emotional safety, and genuine connection.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully overcome it, I'll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.    

In this episode, I'll show you my easy three-step plan to help you stop watching porn for good. Many people think they just need to try harder to resist urges or avoid things that trigger them. But fighting these urges all the time is exhausting, and you're always worried about slipping up again. I want to teach you a better way. Instead of just fighting urges, we can find out why they happen in the first place and fix that problem. As a therapist, I've helped hundreds of men on their journey to quit pornography. The ones who stay free for years are those who use this simple plan. Today you'll learn: Why fighting urges doesn't work (and it's not your fault) My three steps that get to the real cause of the problem Tools you can start using today This isn't about using more willpower. It's about understanding that urges are like messages telling you what really needs healing in your life. You can find real freedom without having to fight against yourself every day.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully overcome it, I'll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.  

I'm excited to share something special with you today - a real-life deep dive session with John where we uncover the root cause of his pornography struggle and work through it together in a single call.  Most men focus on surface-level solutions - having someone to call when triggered, avoiding certain situations, or just trying to resist temptation harder. But here's the truth: real freedom doesn't come from getting better at fighting urges. It comes from identifying and resolving why you're feeling tempted in the first place. In this episode, you'll hear me guide John through this process step-by-step. While I share tools on the podcast regularly, today you'll hear how these techniques actually work in practice. My hope is that by listening, you'll gain insights into identifying your own personal root cause and taking steps to resolve it.   Want to work with Sam and experience your own breakthrough? I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully overcome it, I'll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Jacob used to struggled daily with pornography and fantasy, but now he's completely free and feels good about himself again. In the episode, we talk about the two-part approach most men miss - they focus on only one part, which is why they struggle for so long. He shares the simple tools that helped him handle emotions in healthy ways, rebuild his self-worth, and deal with stress differently. The best part? Jacob doesn't fight urges for pornography anymore because he's done the deeper work to address the real causes. In this episode, he shows you exactly what worked for him and how you can do the same in your own life.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully overcome it, I'll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.  

Feel like you're fighting an impossible battle - trying to overcome pornography while juggling an already overwhelming life? After thousands of therapy sessions, I've discovered something surprising: success doesn't always mean adding more to your plate. Think of someone running up a downward-moving escalator. They're putting in enormous effort, legs pumping furiously, yet barely staying in place. This is what traditional recovery can feel like - an endless list of must-dos: meetings, accountability partners, journaling, meditation, new habits, urge management techniques. While these tools can help, they often leave you feeling more exhausted than empowered. In today's episode, I'll share a completely different approach - one that works even when you're burned out and short on time. You'll learn how to get off that escalator and find a simpler, more effective path to lasting change. Sometimes doing less, but doing it smarter, creates better results than pushing harder against the downward flow.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully overcome it, I'll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.  

When pornography appears in a relationship, it hurts both people deeply. For wives, the pain and betrayal can feel like being trapped in an endless storm - each bad day stretches out forever, making even good moments feel temporary. Husbands often feel stuck too, wondering if their efforts to change matter when they see their partner still hurting day after day. In today's episode, we'll talk about real ways to deal with those bad days that feel like they'll never end. You'll learn specific steps you can take when the pain feels overwhelming, what conversations actually help both partners heal, and what to expect as you work on fixing things together. There is hope and there are tools that work - even when it doesn't feel that way right now.     For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully overcome it, I'll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.  

Not Being "Enough": Healing After Sexual Betrayal When a wife discovers her husband's porn use or infidelity, one thought cuts deeper than all others: "I wasn't enough." The pain of betrayal is devastating on its own, but believing it happened because of personal inadequacy makes healing feel impossible. This mistaken belief - that his actions prove something about her worth - becomes the biggest barrier to healing and repair. It's not just about what happened, it's also about what it means about her. Today, I'll share a story that could be almost any couple I've worked with as a therapist. You'll learn specific steps that have helped others move past this crushing belief (and others) and rebuild their connection. As a therapist who's helped hundreds of men through this struggle, I can tell you something important: Quitting porn isn't about willpower. Most men get stuck because they're taking the wrong approach - trying to force themselves to stop or just avoid triggers. Today, I'll share three key elements that actually work. No more guessing, no more endless cycles of trying and failing. Instead, you'll get a clear, practical plan that addresses the real reasons you're stuck.     For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully overcome it, I'll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.  

Have you ever felt trapped in a cycle that seemed impossible to break? For Rob, porn became more than just a habit – it was an escape hatch from feelings of failure and not being good enough. Like many of us, he saw himself as a ticking time bomb, always counting down to the next slip. But this isn't a story about being stuck. It's about finding a way forward when you think there isn't one. Today, Rob shares how he transformed his life by facing the root cause of his struggles – not the behavior itself, but the deep-seated feelings of unworthiness beneath it. Through learning to be present with his family and developing new tools for handling difficult emotions, he didn't just survive – he rebuilt his marriage and discovered a strength he never knew he had. In this episode, you'll learn practical strategies for: Separating yourself from negative thought patterns Building genuine presence with loved ones Converting shame into motivation for change Rebuilding trust in relationships You'll learn specific steps you can take when the pain feels overwhelming, what conversations actually help both partners heal, and what to expect as you work on fixing things together. There is hope and there are tools that work - even when it doesn't feel that way right now.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully overcome it, I'll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

When Pornography Breaks Your Marriage: First Steps to Healing Finding out about a porn addiction feels like your world has shattered. One moment everything seems fine, the next your marriage hits a brick wall. Trust breaks, security vanishes, and many wives feel completely lost, wondering if healing is even possible. If you're in this dark place right now - whether you just found out or you're taking those first shaky steps toward repair - this episode is for you. Today, I'll share specific actions you can take to start rebuilding your marriage. These aren't just theories - they're practical steps that have helped real couples find their way back to trust and security. As a therapist who's helped hundreds of men through this struggle, I can tell you something important: Quitting porn isn't about willpower. Most men get stuck because they're taking the wrong approach - trying to force themselves to stop or just avoid triggers. Today, I'll share three key elements that actually work. No more guessing, no more endless cycles of trying and failing. Instead, you'll get a clear, practical plan that addresses the real reasons you're stuck.     For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully overcome it, I'll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Breaking the "Try Harder" Trap: A New Approach to Quitting Porn Maybe you've said to yourself, "This time will be different." You delete the apps, block the websites, stay busy - maybe even make it a few weeks. Then the urges hit harder than ever, and you're back at square one. This cycle crushes both you and your partner. As a therapist who's helped hundreds of men through this struggle, I can tell you something important: Quitting porn isn't about willpower. Most men get stuck because they're taking the wrong approach - trying to force themselves to stop or just avoid triggers. Today, I'll share three key elements that actually work. No more guessing, no more endless cycles of trying and failing. Instead, you'll get a clear, practical plan that addresses the real reasons you're stuck.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully overcome it, I'll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.  

When Healing Conversations Go Wrong – When pornography damages a relationship, couples need to talk about the pain to heal. But these conversations often hit a wall: he gets defensive, sounds like a robot, or just shuts down. This leaves her feeling even more alone and wondering if she should have stayed quiet. The cycle is painful: she shares her hurt, he responds without emotion, and both end up feeling worse than before. Many couples start dreading these talks entirely, worried they'll just create more damage. Today, I'll reveal why these conversations break down and how to fix them. You'll learn four key reasons repair talks fail, plus practical ways to solve each problem. Whether you're triggered, hurting, or just want to connect better, these strategies will help you have the meaningful conversations your relationship needs to heal. Let's turn these dreaded talks into moments that actually bring you closer.     For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

A Story of Freedom: From 20-Year Struggle to Success Meet Tyler, a man who fought pornography addiction for over two decades. Like many, he worried this struggle would be permanent, especially after so many failed attempts to quit. But today, his story is different. What changed? Instead of just trying to avoid temptation, Tyler learned specific skills to handle triggers. In today's episode, he shares exactly how he turned things around - from the questions he asks himself in tough moments to the precise steps he takes to choose a different path. And for a wife listening: Tyler's marriage isn't just surviving - it's thriving. Even after major setbacks, he and his wife built something stronger. Their story shows that real change is possible. Listen to Tyler share his experience so you can implement the practical tools that he outlines so you can see success in your relationship and personally as well.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

The 90-Day Freedom Trap: A Critical Warning If you've been trying to quit pornography but can't stay free for more than 90 days, there's a crucial mistake you need to know about. As a therapist, I see this same issue holding back almost every man who comes to me for help. And wives, this matters for you too - it will help you understand whether your husband is taking the right steps to create real safety in your relationship. So what's the problem? It's not about trying harder. Many men put in tremendous effort, make progress for a few weeks or months, start feeling hopeful - then suddenly fall right back into old patterns. The real issue is that their approach is incomplete. Think of it like a gum ball machine: you need both the quarter AND the twist to get results. Similarly, lasting freedom requires changes in two key areas: behavioral AND emotional. When men focus on just one, that's when the cycle keeps repeating. Today, let's break down how to address both sides of this challenge.     For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.  

Trust Once Broken: How She Can Know He's Really Changed? When pornography breaks trust in a relationship, it creates a painful pattern. He promises he's done, but then more truth comes out months later. After this happens multiple times, many wives ask the same haunting question: "How do I know he's not just getting better at hiding it?" This situation hurts everyone. She feels like she's going crazy, constantly wondering what's real. And if he's truly working to change, it can feel hopeless when she can't believe him anymore. Today, I'll share three clear signs that show real change is happening. These aren't just promises or words - they're specific actions and behaviors that both partners can watch for. Understanding these signs can help you move from doubt to healing, and finally find your way forward together.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.  

Think about what pornography takes from your life - it's like a heavy fog that clouds everything. It steals your focus, drains your confidence, fills you with shame, and keeps you from being truly present with the people you love. It affects your work, your relationships, and your spirit. Now imagine the opposite: complete peace of mind. No more guilt. No more fear of being discovered. Being fully present with your family. A marriage built on trust and joy. Feeling confident and in control of your life again. If there was a magic wand that could give you all of this back, you'd do anything to get it, right? While obviously there isn't a wand, there IS a clear path to freedom. Real people have walked this path before you, and you can too. In today's episode, I'll share the five biggest mistakes that keep people stuck in this cycle. More importantly, I'll show you how to avoid these mistakes and build a ladder out of this pit.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.  

Imagine being stuck in a cycle that seems impossible to break: trying to quit pornography, doing well for a while, slipping up, hurting your partner, and starting all over again. This pattern can go on for years, leaving both people feeling hopeless and exhausted. Many think this cycle is just part of recovery - like climbing a mountain over and over, always sliding back down. But what if there was a better way? What if, instead of this endless climb, you could find a tunnel straight through the mountain? In today's episode, I'll share three key reasons why breaking free feels so impossible - and more importantly, three practical steps to make this journey not just manageable, but actually hopeful. Whether you've struggled for months or decades, these strategies can help you find real freedom, rebuild trust, and develop habits that make you stronger. Get ready to discover a clearer path to lasting change. For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.  

Picture a relationship caught in a painful cycle: He struggles with pornography, she puts up walls to protect herself. Things get better for a while when he tries to change, but then life gets busy, old habits return, and trust breaks again. This pattern can repeat for years, leaving both people feeling hopeless. One of the biggest challenges? When husbands stay silent about their struggles. Many wives say this silence feels like secrecy, making it even harder to trust. But here's the thing - many men stay quiet because they're afraid talking about urges will only make things worse. In today's episode, we'll cover two game-changing topics: First, how to talk about urges in a way that actually builds trust instead of destroying it. Then, we'll dive into practical steps to address and eliminate these urges at their source. Because here's the truth - while knowing how to discuss struggles is important, the real goal is freedom from them entirely. Many men tell me they just want to feel normal again. Today, I'll show you how that's possible.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Rebuilding trust after pornography use damages it can feel impossible. Many couples struggle to know where to start when their relationship feels broken. Today, I want to share a simple approach to help you heal your marriage. Many husbands try to prove they've changed by talking about their feelings. But here's the truth: your wife can't just take your word for it. The real key is to listen to her specific concerns. Every wife is different, and her worries are actually a roadmap to rebuilding trust. Maybe she's afraid of being hurt again. Maybe she doesn't understand why things went wrong. These concerns aren't obstacles—they're opportunities. In this episode I share with you a strategy you can use to utilized the blocks and stuck places as a launching point to actually healing your relationship. For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Have you ever felt trapped by urges that seem impossible to control? Many people struggling with pornography feel like these moments are scary and overwhelming. Most advice tells you to fight these urges by staying busy or calling a friend. But that doesn't really solve the problem. What if, instead of fighting urges, you could understand them? What if these tough moments could actually help you heal and grow? In today's episode, I'll share a different way to handle these challenges. We'll talk about how understanding your urges can help you find real freedom. This isn't just helpful for you—it's also important for your relationships. Partners will learn how to see real progress and healing.     For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction. Get ready to learn a new approach that can change everything

One of the most important steps in this process for husbands and wives is to better understand their emotions. Many people ignore or suppress them, but this actually slows down your progress.  Emotions contain important messages.  They send information that reveals an underlying need or something that needs attention. The sooner you can decode what your emotions are trying to tell you, the sooner you can address the issue and find resolution.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Sexual intimacy is one of the biggest things that is damaged when their wife discovers her husband pornography use. It can be scary for her to be intimate because of the insecurities and fears that this situation creates – "Is he comparing me to other people he's seen?" "Is he just using me as a part of his addiction?" "I want to be intimate but I don't feel safe enough.. how can we restore that foundation?" In this episode, I share with you specific things that you can do to rebuild safety and security so your sexual intimacy can improve.     For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Welcome to today's first mini episode! I'm testing something new and am going to do a podcast that's less than 5 minutes long that gives you a specific tool to implement or a thought to consider. These will be designed to give you something actionable that you can implement quickly to see changes fast. In today's episode, I share with you a specific thing that you can do if you struggle with personal or relationship setbacks. If you seem to keep hitting the same wall or struggle to maintain progress, this episode is for you.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Sometimes when a husband is making good progress personally and in the relationship, his wife has fears and doubts: “How can I know that he's telling the truth?” “What if he's just gotten better at hiding it?” “it's scary to bring down my wall because I don't wanna get hurt again…” This can be discouraging for both people, especially if a husband really is doing well. He can feel deflated and hopeless thinking that there's nothing he can do to make things better. In this episode, I share with you specifically how to handle these situations and how you can build safety in a way that eases the fears and discouragement that both people can feel.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

In this episode, I reflect on a powerful moment from a couples counseling session where a wife expressed feeling overwhelmed by the journey ahead. I shared a mindset shift with them: it's not about 100 steps—it's one step done 100 times. Inspired by Bruce Lee's quote about doing 10,000 kicks, rather it's practicing 1 kick 10,000 times, we'll explore how true progress comes from simplifying and focusing on a few key actions repeated consistently. Join me as we break down the most important elements to prioritize in your individual and relationship progress, helping you grow faster, avoid burnout, and stay focused on what truly matters.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

A lot of couples feel stagnant on this journey and don't make the progress that they hope and it's slow and discouraging. And what I've come to recognize as one of the most important aspects of this work is clarity. If you don't have perfect clarity about what the unresolved issues are, what's causing them, and how to address them, then progress is slow. Many women feel a lack of security or trust in their marriage because the pornography use hasn't been resolved. Many husband struggle with urges and temptations that they want to overcome.  Today I want to share with you a 3 step framework I use with all of my clients to help you get traction towards resolving problems quickly and start to see results instead of both of you just feeling discouraged.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

When a relationship is damaged by pornography use and dishonesty, many couples wonder if it's possible to actually fully rebuild trust again. There are often lots of staggered or trickle disclosures, which caused a lot of damage to the trust.  So can it actually be rebuilt again? The answer is yes. But it requires a very specific approach and that's what I want to share with you in today's episode. The more clarity you have about what steps to take and how to rebuild trust, the more you can focus on taking the right actions and start to see progress in your relationship.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Are you and your spouse tired of arguing about the same thing over and over again? Are you feeling stuck not knowing how to find closure and repair the damage of pornography use in your marriage? Most couples get stuck when discussing the pain and hurt they feel and conversations end in fights or distance. In today's episode, I want to share with you, one specific tool that you can implement immediately to have better conversations with each other. And when you know how to have conversations in a way that creates closure, you can discuss any difficult topic without it spiraling into an argument.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

When a man struggles with porn pornography use, it can cause a lot discouragement and fear for both him and his wife. So many women live in constant anxiety that the other shoes going to drop and they're gonna get hurt again. Husbands often feel an underlying sense of inadequacy because they haven't been able to quit despite their best efforts to stop. In today's episode, I share with you some specific things you do in order to break out of the negative pattern and find hope of overcoming this issue. Is the difference between managing your triggers and actually being free from them, and that's what makes progress and growth sustainable.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Join the free, private men's community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support. It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men: Join the Private Group Here   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Mike struggle with pornography for 30 long years. The feelings of hopelessness and anxiety debilitated him at times because no matter what he did to quit, it just didn't bring him the freedom he was so desperately seeking. He found this podcast and discovered that there was a new way to approach things after listening to some episodes. He decided to reach out to work with me and he felt an immediate change even after the first call (which he'll share in the episode). Now that he's finished with the process, he say's the freedom he now enjoys in “indescribable.” He wanted to share his experience to help other people learn what helped him on his journey and to give hope to those who feel discouraged.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Join the free, private men's community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support. It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men: Join the Private Group Here   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

When pornography use is discovered in a relationship, it obviously has such a huge impact on a wife. Understandably, she takes it very personal. It makes her question everything about the relationship, him and herself. She'll often and wonder if she good enough for him? Does he actually love her? If so, how could he have done this? What does all of this mean for me and for us? These are very difficult questions that she asks, and it comes from a place of broken trust and security. In the healing process it's very important to have these questions answered and to reconcile how he could've done this if he does love her.  In today's episode we deep dive on how to make sense of all of this and how to start to heal your relationship. For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Join the free, private men's community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support. It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men: Join the Private Group Here   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Have you ever struggled with feelings of an adequacy or not being accepted? And has that been a trigger for you in the past that has led you down the path towards pornography use? If so, you're not alone. In fact this is a really common trigger for a lot of guys because feelings of rejection or failure or not being enough create heavy negative emotions that we want to get away from. In this episode, I'm doing a live call with Steve, where we deep dive into his feelings of inadequacy to help him break these beliefs and create new thought patterns that build self-esteem and self-worth. Along to hear how we approach this so you can apply the same tools in your life and overcome feelings of self doubt and shame.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Join the free, private men's community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support. It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men: Join the Private Group Here   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

I once worked with a woman who was completely overwhelmed because her husband continued to struggle with pornography use. She was at her wits end. She felt like a ball of anxiety always waiting for the other shoe to drop and could never really feel comfortable in her skin and safe in the relationship. The moment she started to let her guard down it just so happened that he would mess up again. They had been in this loop for the past 10 years of their marriage. When she reached out, she asked me this specific question – how do I handle it so that this doesn't bring me down and it takes a day or week to deal with it? We had a conversation that day, and I shared with her a couple of thoughts that helped to soften the pain of betrayal she was feeling. I want to share those with you as well so you as a husband or wife, listening to this can know how to find or provide some relief as you're working on repairing things.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Join the free, private men's community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support. It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men: Join the Private Group Here   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

It's very discouraging for both a husband and wife when a man gets stuck in the cycle of falling back into pornography. Use every few weeks or months.  In this situation, a wife feels continual anxiety, just waiting for the other shoe to drop. A husband feels discouragement and hopelessness feeling like he's not making progress despite his best efforts. In this episode, I share with you exactly how to break this cycle for good and how you can create safety in your relationship, knowing that the root of the problem is resolved and the pornography use is eliminated.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Join the free, private men's community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support. It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men: Join the Private Group Here   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

When pornography use is discovered in a relationship it undermines the very foundation and security. It often creates suspicion, fear, uncertainty, and a total lack of security and connection. After having worked with hundreds and hundreds of couples, I want to share with you the three of pillars that I've seen help create connection and security, faster than anything else.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Join the free, private men's community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support. It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men: Join the Private Group Here   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

One of the biggest fears that women have in this process is that her husband will return to pornography since she won't know about it. She'll bring down her wall, start to trust him again, and then the other shoe will drop and she'll be devastated again. How can she know if he is still stuck in his pattern? If there's been dishonesty in the past, how can she know if he is telling the truth or not now? It's critical for a husband to demonstrate change in a way that helps her to believe him again. It's very discouraging for him when he really is trying and is making progress, but no matter what he does he feels down when she doesn't believe him. In this episode I'll share how you can approach this together to help build security and confidence that things really are different as a result of the new actions he's taking.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Join the free, private men's community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support. It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men: Join the Private Group Here   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.  

Have you ever wondered why you haven't been able to quit pornography permanently? Do you feel like you know the tools but just aren't using them in the moment you need them most? If the tools you've been trying to implement haven't brought you freedom yet, you're using the wrong ones. This creates a problem in a relationship as well –  A woman can't trust her husband who keeps returning back to pornography, even if he is trying his best. There's nothing wrong with you, it's just the approach that you've been taught isn't working. In this episode, I share with you how you can identify what tools you need to be using instead and how you can change your approach to really get traction and find success.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Join the free, private men's community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support. It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men: Join the Private Group Here   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.  

It can be scary for a wife to imagine bringing down her wall... Will she get hurt again? How will she know if he won't return to pornography? Is there any other way to feel safe and have protection? In this episode I outline how you can navigate this block together and the benefits of bringing the wall down (when the steps are done in the right order).   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Join the free, private men's community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support. It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men: Join the Private Group Here   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.  

Many couples fear that it's not possible to eliminate pornography use from their lives. Men struggle for decades with urges and temptation without the right tools. This leads them to fall back into old patterns and makes them believe they can't ever quit. Kevin was a man who went through my program and not only got the tools to quit pornography for good, he lost the desire to view it at all. No more temptation. No more urges. This is what freedom looks like. In today's episode, he shares with you the steps he took and how he approached things in order for him to find this freedom.    For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Join the free, private men's community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support. It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men: Join the Private Group Here   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.  

Many couples struggle with feelings of uncertainty and insecurity in their marriage.  Years of deception and lying erodes the foundation of trust, and a lack of communication or transparency keep things stuck. In this episode episode, I share a very easy-to-implement tool that can help you to build security in your marriage again. But missing this can keep your wheels spinning in your marriage despite making progress on a personal level.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Join the free, private men's community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support. It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men: Join the Private Group Here   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.   To get more tools to help you resolve communication breakdowns, check out these previous episodes: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2QMGxl99muUDOoojYPOUnX?si=5Tl5gg4tQgmLG6QAynIsdQ   https://open.spotify.com/episode/5IJ812sUVt3x0CKj7Juj8R?si=2d18kEQ3Rm2c_G4kubBQ3g

Many men and women wonder if quitting porn is actually possible to do or if it's something that just needs to be managed for the rest of their life. The good news: YES! It's 100% possible to quit and never return. In this episode I'll share with you specifically what I've seen work best to help men quit Porn and never return.  The more you have about what the underlying problem is, the more the solution becomes obvious.  Once you implement those solutions, the old patterns lose their power, which gives husbands confidence that they can move forward without messing up again, and it gives a wife peace of mind knowing she can actually be safe and let her guard down when he's done the work.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven't fully been able to quit, I'll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Join the free, private men's community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support. It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men: Join the Private Group Here   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.