Podcasts about sexual intimacy

*Disclaimer* This episode contains adult content and is not recommended for young listeners.   284. DON'T MISS THIS! Controversial Sex Questions, Answered with Dr. Juli Slattery   1 Samuel 24:19b NIV “May the Lord reward you well for the way you treated me today.”   *Transcription Below*   Bio: Instagram Facebook Authentic Intimacy Website Java with Juli Podcast   Thank you to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company   Questions and Topics We Cover: As Christ followers, should we use a friend's preferred names and pronouns? If one part of Scripture talks about turning the other cheek, is that the same as saying God expects you to stay in an abusive marriage? Is it reasonable to assume that once they have a smartphone, 100% of kids will be exposed to pornography?   Previous Episodes on Sexual Intimacy on The Savvy Sauce, Including Past Episodes with Dr. Juli Slattery: Fostering a Fun, Healthy Sex Life with your Spouse with Dr. Jennifer Konzen  Ways to Deepen Your Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Douglas Rosenau  Ten Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview with Dr. Michael Sytsma Hope For Treating Pelvic Pain with Tracey LeGrand Treatment for Sexual Issues with Certified Sex Therapist, Emma Schmidt Talking With Your Kids About Sex with Brian and Alison Sutter Natural Aphrodisiacs with Christian Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Douglas Rosenau Healthy Sexuality, Emotional Intelligence, and Parenting Children with Autism with Counselor, Lauren Dack Pain and Joy in Sexual Intimacy with Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Jessica McCleese Identifying and Fighting Human Trafficking with Dr. Jeff Waibel Bridging the Gap Between Military and Civilian Families with Licensed Professional Counselor, Cuthor, Podcaster, and 2015 Military Spouse of the Year, Corie Weathers Enjoying a God-Honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse with Certified Sex Therapist and Ordained Minister, Dr. Michael Sytsma Enjoying Parenting and Managing Conversations About Sex with Certified Sex Therapist and Author, Dr. Jennifer Konzen Conflict Resolution, Infidelity, and Infertility with Licensed Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Jessica McCleese Hormones and Body Image with Certified Sex Therapist, Vickie George Passion Pursuit with Dr. Juli Slattery Female Orgasm with Sue Goldstein Erectile Dysfunction, Premature Ejaculation, and Treatments Available with Dr. Irwin Goldstein Turn Ons, Turn Offs, and Savoring Sex in Marriage with Dr. Jennifer Konzen Desire Discrepancy in Marriage with Dr. Michael Sytsma Answering Listener's Questions About Sex with Kelli Willard Anatomy of an Affair with Dave Carder Supernatural Restoration Story with Bob and Audrey Meisner Healthy Minds, Marriages, and Sex Lives with Drs. Scott and Melissa Symington Female Pornography Addiction and Meaningful Recovery with Crystal Renaud Day Building Lasting Relationships with Clarence and Brenda Shuler Healthy Ways for Females to Increase Sexual Enjoyment with Tracey LeGrand Pornography Healing for Spouses with Geremy Keeton Sexual Sin Recovery for You and Your Spouse (Part Two) Personal Development and Sexual Wholeness with Dr. Sibylle Georgianna  Our Brain's Role in Sexual Intimacy with Angie Landry Discovering God's Design for Romance with Sharon Jaynes Sex in Marriage and Its Positive Effects with Francie Winslow, Part 1 Science and Art of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, Part 2 Making Love in Marriage with Debra Fileta Mutually Pleasing Sex in Marriage with Gary Thomas Sex Series: God's Design and Warnings for Sex: An Interview with Mike Novotny Sex Series: Enhancing Female Pleasure and Enjoyment of Sex: An Interview with Dr. Jennifer Degler Sex Series Orgasmic Potential, Pleasure, and Friendship: An Interview with Bonny Burns  Sex Series: Sex Series: Healthy Self, Healthy Sex: An Interview with Gaye Christmus Sex Series: Higher Sexual Desire Wife: An Interview with J Parker Sex Series: Six Pillars of Intimacy with Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo 215 Enriching Women's Sexual Function, Part One with Dr. Kris Christiansen 216 Enriching Women's Sexual Function, Part Two with Dr. Kris Christiansen 217 Tween/Teen Females: How to Navigate Changes during Puberty with Dr. Jennifer Degler 218 Secrets of Sex and Marriage: Interview with Dr. Michael Sytsma 222 Pornography: Protecting Children and Personal Healing, Victory, and Recovery in Christ with Sam Black Special Patreon Release: Holy Sex: An Interview with Dr. Juli Slattery Special Patreon Release: His Desires and Her Desires in the Bedroom with Dr. Jennifer Konzen 224 Surprising Discoveries of Sex in Marriage: An Interview with Shaunti Feldhahn 252 Maximizing Sexual Connections as Newlyweds to Long Term Marriages and Recovering from a Sexless Marriage with Dr. Cliff & Joyce Penner 260 Sex After Cancer with Dr. Kris Christiansen 277 Breaking Through Addiction in Marriage with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:11 – 0:11)   Laura Dugger: (0:11 – 2:21) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.   Leman Property Management Company has the apartment you will be able to call home, with over 1,700 apartment units available in Central Illinois. Visit them today at lemanproperties.com or connect with them on Facebook.   My returning guest for today is Dr. Juli Slattery.   She has authored another book entitled Surrendered Sexuality: How Knowing Jesus Changes Everything, and we're going to cover a few themes from this book, but I think what you're going to find most helpful are her candid responses to some really tricky questions related to dating and pornography, technology, thought life, shows that we watch as believers, divorce, and just intimacy in general as married couples.   So, I think this is an episode that you're going to want to learn from yourself, but you'll also want to share with others because Dr. Juli has offered us such a gift as she directs us back to the heart issues and wisely guides us into sexual integrity in our own lives.   Here's our chat.   Welcome back to The Savvy Sauce, Dr. Juli.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (2:21 – 2:21) Thanks so much for having me back. It's always a joy.   Laura Dugger: (2:21 – 2:22) Well, I love that you've been a repeat guest many times. So, we get to just dive right in today because I'm going to link all of your previous episodes in the show notes. But to dive in, I'm just curious, as believers, where does your heart break as you see us compromising on God's design for sex?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (2:22 – 3:31) Hmm. That's such a good question. You know, I think my heart breaks the most in that when we compromise God's design for sexuality, or even when we don't understand it or understand His goodness, it means that there is a breach in our relationship with God.   And so, I am so passionate about what I do, not necessarily because I love talking about sexuality, but because for a lot of people, sexuality represents a wall between them and God, like an issue they can't resolve, or a place of shame that they just can't quite shake free from, or battle with sin that they feel like they're enslaved to. And so, those things mean that there's a limit to how much they invite God into their lives.   And so, for me, that's where my heart breaks the most is, you know, ultimately, we were created for the greatest fellowship with God and anything that gets in the way of that is something that God cares about and something that I care about.   Laura Dugger: (3:32 – 4:03) You say that well, and you've written many books, but in this most recent one, you plainly state one issue when you write, “You will not be able to obey God with your sexual thoughts, while binging shows and music that continually display the exact opposite.”   And I love how practical that is. So, Juli, why do you think this has become so normalized? And I would say, especially in Christian marriages.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (4:05 – 5:58) Yeah, you know, I think a lot of it is that the church has been historically really quiet about sexuality, you know, like we might talk about save sex for marriage, and don't cheat on your husband and that sort of thing. But the gray areas about how we think about our sexuality and kind of what we have the liberty and freedom to engage in, there's kind of silence, or maybe there's legalism.   And I think in that space, what ends up happening is the culture is so forthright with a message about sexuality, like woven throughout every single show that you could stream on any platform, you know, your music on Spotify, even the news you consume, the Instagram feeds, whatever, it's consistently showing you a way to understand sexuality that is contrary to God's design, and the messaging can be so subtle, or so repetitive that we don't even realize we're ingesting it.   And so, it's normal to talk about with your friends, like the latest season of The Bachelor, or, you know, the latest thing that you're streaming that if you really look at it, there's probably 100 references to sexuality that are outside of God's design. And so, we end up just having our mind conformed to this world.   And the scripture says really clearly in Romans 12, that we can't offer ourselves to God while we're still thinking like the world thinks that it requires an act of transformation of our thinking. And I don't know that there's anywhere more than we need this than in the topic of understanding our sexuality.   Laura Dugger: (6:00 – 6:59) Okay, so for I'm thinking of married couples, because I was recently at a wedding shower. And I love a friend from church. Her name is Dawn Karius. And she was giving the devotional and just sharing. You know, it's very easy to get married and fall into this trap. She was talking about what you watch specifically.   And she said, so many couples will watch something together, watch a show before bed, but be really intentional. If that is what you choose to do, then the shows that you're watching, even though you're with your spouse, is that drawing both of you closer to Christ? Because if it's pulling you further away from Christ, it's also pulling you away from one another.   And so, with all of that, and with what you've studied and written about, if a couple's hearing that and or some single person just hearing this, what would be your practical advice or encouragement for them?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (7:00 – 9:29) Yeah, some of it is, we can't live in a bubble. You know, it's, I think that there are some couples will have the conviction that, you know, we're just going to get rid of all of our devices, we're going to get rid of every streaming service. And there's nothing wrong with that decision, you might feel convicted to do that.   But for most couples, I would say, they're like, okay, we live in this world, we need to understand even the world we live in. And so, it's not like we're going to completely be cut off. But are we being discerning about what we consume?   And what are the standards that we might hit where we might just say, “You know what, we don't need to be watching this.” You know, like I can think of one show in particularly that my husband and I were watching. And it was a well-written show. It was exciting. But there was just so much profanity and just gross kind of sexual content that after two or three episodes, we're both just like, “You know what, as good as the show is, we just, this isn't, we're not watching this. Like we need to stop.”   And I think you need to have those discussions and you might have a different level of conviction than your spouse does. And that's okay, but at least have those conversations and you need to follow your conviction.   But then the other thing I would say that is equally important, if not more important, what are you consuming that helps you get God's perspective of sexuality? And what I've found is that a whole lot of Christian married couples know very little about what it looks like to build a healthy sex life in their marriage. And they're not consuming anything that helps them know how to love each other better, how to overcome differences, even how their bodies work, how to focus on one another and enjoy sex in a holy erotic way.   And so, even if you're watching and consuming very little content from the world, but you're not actively pursuing anything that gives you a biblical perspective, you're still going to end up defaulting to what the world says. And so, I think that again, it's equally as important or not, if not more important to be pursuing what's true and what's right and what's good.   Laura Dugger: (9:31 – 9:53) I love that, how you flipped it. And that discernment piece is huge because we don't want to be desensitized to then that we're consuming and we also want to feed on the good. So, I think it even leads to a broader question, again, as Christ followers, how can we recognize if our conscience is being pricked?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (9:54 – 12:05) Yeah, we can start by asking the Lord. You know, I mean, I think it's in, is it Psalm 139, where, you know, David is basically saying, “Search me, oh God, and know my thoughts, you know, show me if there's any offensive way within me.”   I think that's a beautiful prayer as an individual and as a couple, like God, we want to honor you with what we consume in media, with what we think about, would you guide us and would you show us? And then I think we all have that experience of watching something or listening to something or reading something where we're like, “Uh, I don't know, like, this is sort of a gray area. Like, I'm uncomfortable here. I probably shouldn't be watching this.” Or “Wow, that's really, that's really in your face. Like that's really graphic.”   And it's heeding the Holy Spirit when you get those prompts, instead of just pushing through and being like, “Ah, it's not that big of a deal. It's not going to affect me.” Like when you feel that sense of prompting, you respond to it and you say, “All right, I'm going to put this down. I'm going to shut this off.”   And, um, you know, the scripture says that we can become callous to those promptings of the Holy Spirit if we are in a habit of just running right through that. But we become more sensitive to the Holy Spirit when we yield and when we obey.   Um, and so, I think even just keeping track, you know, every day or every week, like where were the times regarding this or anything else that I really felt convicted by the Holy Spirit about maybe something I said about a friend, uh, or about a little white lie I told, you know, where were the times where I really felt the Holy Spirit nudging me and what did I do? Um, where do I need to confess that I didn't respond well? And where do I need to celebrate that? Yes, I listened, I obeyed, I yielded. Um, and so, I think that's a practice we get into of either ignoring that conviction or really yielding to it.   Laura Dugger: (12:06 – 12:28) Hmm. And that gets after the heart issue, which Jesus is so concerned about our heart. And that's a very softened heart approach. Yes. I hope we can have. And as it relates to sexual integrity, then what are some other ways that we need to be on guard so that we're careful not to be misled?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (12:29 – 13:37) Yeah, boy, I think there's just so much conversation. Um, again, even in Christian circles, sometimes around having a negative attitude towards sex, um, kind of accepting some forms of pornography as normal and even good, you know, husband bashing, wife bashing, you know, like complaining, kind of letting the thought feed in your mind of maybe I should have married somebody else.   Maybe that my life would be easier if I, I weren't married to this person. I wish they were this or that. So, sort of that discontent that is natural to feel in marriage. But the question is, what do you do with it? Do you give it space to grow and to nurture, or do you bring that before the Lord?   Um, so, I think those are some of the ways that we want to look at, like, how am I giving the enemy space in my life and in my marriage versus how am I inviting God to really reclaim what's broken here?   Laura Dugger: (13:38 – 14:01) Well, and then even thinking of the other side to guard ourselves from having a critical and judgmental spirit toward others or just having self-righteous pride. Can you educate us on some common reasons why some people may be predisposed to struggle with some certain sexual sins?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (14:02 – 17:20) Yeah, absolutely. I think that's so important, um, because the research really shows that some of us are more, I don't know if I'd say it that way, but we are going to be more predetermined maybe to struggle with things like pornography or same-sex attraction, or even hooking up.   And it's never like a one plus one equals two exactly. But there are what we might say indicators or risk factors that make you more vulnerable to those kinds of sexual struggles. And some of them might be unhealthy family dynamics growing up, you know, none of us had a perfect family, but let's say you grew up in a family where one of your parents was like overtly critical towards you all the time.   Maybe you went through a divorce with your parents where, um, you know, at a certain age, you just, your family fell apart and you're kind of looking for that stability and love. People who have experienced sexual trauma in childhood or the teen years are going to be more pre-dispositioned to want to understand that or act that out.   People who might struggle with anxiety. And, you know, some of it is we got to understand that sex, because it elicits dopamine in our brain and oxytocin and endorphins, which are all really feel good kind of experiences and hormones and neurotransmitters. When we had a sexual experience at a young age, our brain can learn, “Oh, this is how I deal with stress. This is how I deal with depression. This is how I deal with loneliness.”   So, a lot of times when you talk to somebody who has an ongoing struggle with a sexual temptation or sin, it's because they've learned as a pattern from maybe the time they were 10 years old or 12 years old or 15 years old, that this is how I dealt with the stress in my family. This is how I dealt with when my father died. This is how I dealt with when I was sexually abused. Like this was the way that I found to self-regulate and to self-medicate and to find comfort.   And that can be masturbation. It can be pornography or again, you know, acting out sexually. And so, for people who have that kind of story, and this might be your spouse, or this might be against somebody that you're looking at and judging to just say, “You need to stop that behavior,” is often not going to be enough. They need to do the work of really looking at what am I using sex for? What are the wounds that I'm using sex to cover up?   And how do I actually get the healing I need and find healthier and safer ways for me to cope with negative emotions? And that's why groups are really important for people who have sexual struggles. Counseling is really important. And again, that long journey of healing and freedom, not just a one-time decision that I'm going to try to never do this again.   Laura Dugger: (17:21 – 20:19) Love that word freedom, even because that hope is available. And just pointing out how you said this is not deterministic. That's not what we're saying is if you experience something, you will act out sexually. But I agree with you that it is fascinating and helpful to hear the correlation of certain things that happen, especially in childhood, and how that plays out long-term.   And I am blanking on which guest it was on The Savvy Sauce, but somebody was enlightening me. I think it was for females that if they were sexually abused, typically before a certain age, then they were more likely to struggle in marriage with wanting to completely avoid sex. But then if it was after a certain age, that it was completely opposite where they maybe used sex to medicate, or they were very aggressive and even would act out, let's say in single years, that they would sleep around with a bunch of partners if they had been wounded.   And so, I just think it just, it helps us to not be judgmental of one another. We don't know the full story.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (20:20 – 21:09) Yes. Yeah. There's always more there than we usually realize at first. And, you know, this plays out a lot in marriage because there are a lot of women who are married to guys who are addicted to pornography. And that's a deeply painful dynamic. That's really hard.   But to understand that your husband didn't want to have this struggle, often doesn't know how to get out of it, you know, gives you compassion. It doesn't mean that you look the other way, you need to get help, and you need to insist on getting help. But it does give you empathy and compassion that there's something underlying this and feeding it. It's not just, “Oh, I think I'm going to, you know, look at porn and hurt my wife again,” that there's always a deeper dynamic at work.   Laura Dugger: (21:10 – 21:50) Absolutely. And even an example from your book, I'll just read a quote where you said, “I spoke with a man who runs a sexual addiction program. He told me he had never met someone with sexual addiction, who did not also have significant sexual or psychological trauma in their past.”   And I think it goes along with what we're saying. But if we also then flip it and look at more of the positive side, how can we rightly prioritize connection and intimacy in marriage as God intended?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (21:53 – 24:24) I think first of all, we need to be convinced that this is worth it. You know, when we look at everything there is to do in life, there's so many worthy demands on our time. You know, from I want my house to look nice, and we need to make friends and we need to be an outreach to our community. And our kids are taking a lot of time and they should, and they've got all their activities and our church needs our help. Like when do you have time to do all this? And then, oh yeah, prioritize your marriage.   And I think we have to become convinced that if we're not working on our marriage, and specifically if we're not working on the sexual connection in marriage, then all those other things have the potential to fall apart. That the way I've learned it over time is that sex is never going to be a neutral issue in your marriage. It's either going to be something that is bonding you together and causing you to work on the deeper levels of intimacy, even as you talk through sexual difficulties, or it's going to be something not immediately, but over time, that becomes a wedge between you.   It might start as a wedge of resentment of my needs aren't getting met, or I feel like you're objectifying me or you're putting pressure on me. Or it might be a deeper wedge of a pornography addiction or something that's not being addressed. Or I don't trust my husband because of my trauma. And those things don't just stay dormant. The wedge becomes bigger and bigger and bigger until you get to the place where now you're not comfortable being in the same room anymore and you feel like roommates. And then now one of you is attracted to somebody else and the story plays on.   And there are very wonderful godly men and women who have gotten married with every purpose to stay together. But a wedge like this has grown over time to the point where they're now thinking about divorce or one of them has cheated on the other. And so, we have to be convinced that honoring God in our lives means prioritizing our marriage, and it means working on this intimate aspect of our marriage so that we can be a stable foundation for our families and our churches and our communities.   Laura Dugger: (24:26 – 24:39) And so, if we're getting as practical as possible, what are the best practices that you've seen in married couples who are happily married? How have you experienced that?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (24:40 – 28:04) Yeah. I'll put it in kind of like a cliche sort of way because I think sometimes that's catchy. Number one, I would say they're couples who will resist the drift, who will repair the rift, and who will adjust to the shift.   So, I can kind of break that down a little bit. But you know, the first thing is resisting the drift of you can go weeks without meaningfully connecting with your spouse. And I don't just mean sexually, but I mean like eye to eye, you know, just loving touch, just connecting to their hearts. And so, couples who know how to resist that drift, like they have regular times built into their calendar where this is where we connect every day. Like even for 10 minutes, this is where we hold each other's hands, we look at each other in the eye, we really connect with what's in your heart, how are you? And they have regular rhythms of once a week or once every other week, we're going to go out and do something fun together, just the two of us. We've worked through what sex looks like in this season. Like how many times do we want to have sex? Are we scheduling that? How are we making sure that's a priority? And so, that's the resisting the drift.   And the second one is repairing the rift. And at every marriage, there are going to be things that tear you apart. And sometimes those things might be sexual in nature, like a temptation, an emotional affair, pornography use, sometimes it's going to be something else where you have a deep disagreement that you can't resolve on your own. And you need to be courageous enough to reach out for help and say, like, if we don't get help, if we don't address this issue, like it's going to become something that tears us apart. Any couple that you meet who is happily married for like 30 years or more, they can tell you a story of when they had a rift, and the kind of help that really address that.   And then I think the third thing is adjusting to the shift. And in even the normal stages of marriage, there are shifts that happen. Like, you know, I'm in the stage right now where me and the people my age are going through biological changes with menopause and with aging. And, you know, some people are going through becoming grandparents and retirement. And there's all these shifts that are happening even naturally. There's other couples that are younger who are going through the shift of pregnancy and battling infertility. And some people are going through cancer. And there are things that happen that require you to shift your expectations. And to not just wish that it is like it used to be. But this is the marriage we have now. Here are the circumstances we have now. Here are the bodies we have now. How do we learn to love each other and embrace this season, given the changes that we're experiencing?   And so, I think that's a framework that I've seen healthy couples navigate over time that really fosters intimacy.   Laura Dugger: (28:05 – 29:29) That is incredible. I love how you put that. And I've shared with you before that my background is in Christian sex therapy. So, sex is a topic that does come up a lot and people feel comfortable sharing or asking questions. So, just in regular conversation, I want to recap two conversations that kind of show stances on both ends of the spectrum. And I'd love to hear your wisdom on how to respond to each one.   So, first, there was a Christian married woman with children, and she was teaching younger women to say yes to every single sexual advance from their husband. And she said, “If your husband has the higher drive, and he wants to have sex twice a day, then consider yourself lucky. And don't ever say no, because your body is not your own.” Yeah, it's hard to recap. So, this is not my perspective. So, sharing both ends.   So, that was one person. And then on the other end, I've heard a woman tell me, “You know, I just didn't feel like having sex for about a year and a half after we had our baby. So, I just told my husband, you're going to have to wait.”   So, loaded question, but Dr. Juli, how would you respond to each of those?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (29:29 – 32:31) Well, Laura, I feel like you probably would have just as good of response as I would to those. Yeah, I like that you're presenting those as two extremes, because they are two extremes. And I think both extremes kind of miss the heart. We want to be able to say yes to sex and intimacy. And being able to say yes means also being able to say no.   In that first situation, essentially, what is going to end up happening is that that wife is going to start feeling like my husband wants me for sex. And I don't have the capacity to enjoy it twice a day. I'm starting to feel like an object or used. And the husband is never going to learn that covenant love requires self-denial. And at every level, you know, what did, what did Paul say to husbands in Ephesians 5, like love your wife as you love your own body and be willing to lay down your, your life for your wife. And that means being sensitive to the fact that she doesn't have the same sexual appetite as you do. She doesn't have the same biology you do, that it actually can be physically painful, emotionally traumatic for a wife to have sex when she's not physically ready. Really, that couple is not working on intimacy. They're, they're kind of reinforcing a pattern that sex is about the husband getting his needs and desires met only through the wife without considering her. And that might work for short term, but that's not building intimacy in the long term. And it's not teaching either of them. And that wife needs to learn her own sexual desires and patterns and be able to communicate those to her husband. So, that's what I would say in that first one.   And the second one, essentially, you have a wife kind of having that more selfish perspective of, I only have sex when I want it and on my terms, instead of considering the husband. And, you know, how do I focus on him? How do I work on experiencing sexual desire? How do I foster that? Because it's important for my husband, it's important for our marriage. And I don't want to be selfish.   And so, I think both of those situations are kind of approaching sex where one person gets to be selfish, and the other person has to sacrifice. That's ministry, that's not intimacy. And so, we really want to be at a place where both of us, the higher desire one and the lower desire one, are learning what does it look like to really love well, to love sacrificially and to communicate the ways that I feel loved. I don't know, what would you add to that or change?   Laura Dugger: (32:31 – 33:11) That's why I asked you, you said that beautifully, better than I could have responded. And again, you're getting back to the heart of it and pointing us back to Jesus with each answer. And, you know, commonly people do struggle with having a safe place where they can ask candid questions about sex.   So, I am going to throw some more at you. And some of these are ones that you wrote about. But just to give us a little taste, even of the book, or if somebody has a burning question like this, I'd love your healthy response.   So, how do you respond when people ask, “How far is too far to go in a dating relationship?”   Dr. Juli Slattery: (33:14 – 36:32) Yeah, I think people are looking for a line, you know, like, as long as I don't cross this line, are we good? And of course, I think their traditional line would be as long as you're not having intercourse. But I think that misses the larger context of the purpose of sex. I've had to be convicted of this in my own life. And we talked very early in our conversation about how we've just sort of ingested messages from the culture. And the culture says that healthy sexuality is an expression of how I feel, right? So, so if I feel safe with you, if I feel romantically connected to you, if I feel sexually attracted to you, then it would be healthy for me to engage sexually with you. And then Christians would come and say, yes, but as long as you don't cross this line. So, that's sort of the narrative that I think a lot of us have heard in the church.   But if we look at, from a biblical perspective, God did not design sex to be an expression of how I feel. Okay, let that sink in for a minute. God did not design sex to be an expression of how I feel. He designed it to be a seal and a celebration of covenant, of the choice that a man and a woman make to covenant their lives to one another. And for them to say, just like I give you my whole life, I promise faithfulness to you. I promise that we are becoming one as a family. We have now a physical way to symbolize that in becoming one with our bodies. And so, even if I feel romantically attached to somebody I'm not married to, I don't act on that. Or even if I don't feel romantically attached to my husband, we work on our sex life because we're in covenant.   And so, when you begin to understand sex from that standpoint, you answer that question differently of how far can I go? Why are you sharing your body with another person when you haven't shared your life with them? And, you know, I think that the standard is not legalistic, but the heart of the question is a lot, that's a harder question. You know, like it says, and I think 2 Thessalonians or 1 Thessalonians, you know, Paul says, the will of God is that you do not engage in sexual immorality. Don't take advantage of a brother or sister.   And how many times in dating relationships do you look back and you're like, “Wow, I gave too much of myself to that person or I took too much of myself from that person. Like we engaged in things that now we're broken apart. Like I wish I could take back.” And so, what does it look like to honor each other? What does it look like to honor the Lord? So, I think those kinds of questions help you get to the heart of how do we steward dating relationships a lot better than looking for a line we're not supposed to cross.   Laura Dugger: (36:33 – 37:31) When was the first time you listened to an episode of The Savvy Sauce? How did you hear about our podcast? Did a friend share it with you? Will you be willing to be that friend now and text five other friends or post on your socials anything about The Savvy Sauce that you love? If you share your favorite episodes, that is how we continue to expand our reach and get the good news of Jesus Christ in more ears across the world.   So, we need your help.   Another way to help us grow is to leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. Each of these suggestions will cost you less than a minute, but it will be a great benefit to us. Thank you so much for being willing to be generous with your time and share. We appreciate you.   As Christ followers, should we use a friend's preferred names and pronouns? So, how would you respond to that?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (37:32 – 39:20) Boy, this is a hot topic. There are people who have really strong opinions on this. You're saying, do I use a friend's preferred names and pronouns?   And I think the fact that you have a friendship means that you can have a deeper conversation about the meaning of the names and pronouns. And I think that deeper conversation needs to happen. Because, you know, ultimately we don't like, we don't want to just say, “Oh yeah, whatever you want to call yourself is fine with me. Truth doesn't matter.” But on the other hand, we really want to get to the spiritual issue underneath this. And there's a, there's a big difference between somebody who doesn't know the Lord, doesn't know where you stand on any of this, and somebody that you can engage in a conversation with and seek wisdom on.   I think there, there's probably more latitude to use somebody's preferred name than pronouns. And I think in friendships, sometimes you can work that through and just say, you know, “Hey, I love you. I understand where you're coming from. I'm going to try my best to use the name that you're asking. But the pronoun is something that I'm not comfortable with. And here's why. And just like I'm, I want to understand where you are. I hope that you would have grace and understand where I am.” So, in a friendship, you're able to have those kinds of conversations. Whereas if it's a coworker or it's a stranger or a neighbor, sometimes we can't have that level of conversation. And so, I, we might choose to handle the situation a little differently.   Laura Dugger: (39:21 – 39:36) That's good. A hundred percent truth, a hundred percent love or kindness. And what if somebody asks, how much attention should we be giving these secondary issues as believers?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (39:39 – 41:03) Boy, I, I think first of all, the secondary issues come out of the primary issues. So, the primary issue, and you know, the issue I wrote Surrendered Sexuality is about is if my life belongs to the Lord, then my whole life needs to belong to Him, including how I think about cultural issues, including how I treat my neighbor.   And so, I don't see them as secondary issues. I see them as an outgrowth of the primary issue. I think when they become secondary issues are when we argue with other believers about it and it becomes the most important thing. Like I put you in a category based on, will you use preferred names and pronouns? And then I think we're missing what God calls us to.   The primary issue is that we want to honor God and we want to love each other. And so, let's keep going back to that primary issue. How do I love my neighbor well? How do I honor God's truth well? How do I pursue unity within the body of Christ well, as we're navigating some of these secondary issues? So, you know, like if we're going back to the primary issue, it means that we have to talk about the secondary issues, but we talk about them in light of what's primary.   Laura Dugger: (41:04 – 41:17) I like that. And I just have three more of these kind of tricky questions. So, another one, does pornography addiction qualify as reasons for a biblical divorce?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (41:20 – 42:50) I would say, first of all, technically, if we look at the word for sexual immorality in the scripture, which is porneia, we would say, yeah, you know, pornography does qualify for that.   But for the person who's asking this, maybe the woman who's asking this, I would say, why do you want to get out of the marriage? And what Jesus said is Moses permitted divorce because of the hardness of your heart. And I think a more important question is where's your heart and where's your husband's heart? Because I've seen people with pornography addictions who have really open hearts towards healing, and they're willing to get the help that they need. They're repentant. They're willing to do the work. They're willing to go through even a time of separation to show that they're serious about that work.   And then there are people who have very hard hearts of, “This is who I am. I might go through the motions, but I'm really not interested in change.” And so, I think the pornography addiction is less the issue than the posture of the person's heart and their willingness to work. And if your spouse is willing to work, then I think it's on us to have soft hearts too, and to be open to the work that God can do.   Laura Dugger: (42:51 – 43:34) That's good because saying you have to zoom out and see more of the story in that stance, because that's very different. Somebody who's working on it and hates the struggle and is wanting to break free versus being married to a narcissist who is abusing you and treating you in a certain way and addicted to pornography. So, you point out well that all of these questions have more to them.   Okay. So, two more, if a spouse has had an emotional affair in the past with a coworker, but they still work with this person, what is the wise thing to do and how should they handle it if their spouse is uncomfortable with them still working there?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (43:36 – 44:33) Yeah, boy, that's something that I would want to seek counseling on. You and your spouse really need to get with a counselor and talk that through. The generic advice in that situation would be to get a different job, to not have that relationship still a temptation or available.   But there are sometimes very extenuating circumstances where that's not a possibility, or at least for now, that's not a possibility. And so, I would really encourage you to meet with a third party to sort through the details of your particular situation. Because it could be that your spouse isn't willing to take that hard step of cutting off that relationship, or it could be that they're willing, but again, there's extenuating circumstances. And I would really want a wise person who is engaging with you to help you navigate that.   Laura Dugger: (44:34 – 44:44) But I love that, how you highlight that something to look for though, is that you would hope your spouse would be willing to make that right, especially if they were the offending.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (44:46 – 44:46) Okay.   Laura Dugger: (44:47 – 45:00) And then also, Juli, because scripture does talk about turning the other cheek, does that mean it's the same as saying God expects you to stay in an abusive marriage?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (45:02 – 47:41) Absolutely not. If you were in an abusive marriage, you are not doing your spouse any good. You are allowing your spouse to be in a place where they're destroying their own life and they're destroying the people that they love.   Now you say, okay, where biblically do we see this? We see that Jesus, he says in John, he says, “I laid down my life for my sheep. I lay it down willingly. No one has the authority to take it from me. I have the authority to lay it down and I have the authority to take it up again.” And we see Him living that out with religious leaders who were after Him all the time, who wanted to stone Him, who were accusing Him of things. It says over and over again that Jesus escaped from them. He just got out of there until it was time that the Father said, now is the time for you to give yourself for the world.   So, we take that principle and we say, Jesus was not abused. Jesus did not let Himself be abused. He gave Himself as a lamb to the slaughter as a sacrifice for the Father and for the world. But that's very different. Up until that time, we see Him have great boundaries. We see Him not get, it even says He didn't entrust Himself to man because He knew what was in their hearts. I mean, He had boundaries with people that could have hurt Him.   And I also love when we see this in the story of King David and Saul, when Saul is chasing David, Saul is abusive, right? He wants to kill David. And so, David escapes. And there's a situation where David has the power or the opportunity to kill Saul and he doesn't do it. And then Saul just is struck by his conscience, and he comes back to David. He goes, “You're a better man than I am. I'm so sorry. You know, come back with me and I'll treat you well.” And even though David doesn't take revenge, he doesn't go back with Saul. He's still, he's like, “You go your way. I'll go my way. I'm going to let the Lord judge between us.”   And I think that's a great model. If you're in any kind of abusive relationship, you don't take revenge, but you also don't stay in that situation. You go your way, let them go their way, and you let God judge between you. And I think we see that over and over again in scripture.   Laura Dugger: (47:42 – 48:19) I think that is so well said. And it reminds me of a somewhat recent conversation in 2025 with Stacey Womack who's saying with domestic violence, really the way God would see it is child abuse. And that kind of helps our paradigm because we are His child.   And she elaborates on that. So, I said that that was the last one, but I actually thought of one more as it relates to our children.   So, is it reasonable to assume that once a child has a smartphone, 100% of them will be exposed to pornography?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (48:21 – 49:15) Yeah, it is. And I would say not just once they have a smartphone, because I know with one of my kids, we delayed the smartphone decision, but he had a learning disability that required him to have an iPad for school. And somehow, even though we locked down all the apps, somehow he's able to access it through that. Or it can be a gaming system, or it can be a friend's phone. And so, having a smartphone or device like that certainly makes it more probable.   But you know, like our kids are surrounded by screens and technology, not just what's in our home, but in other people's homes and at school. And so, I think it's safe to assume, unfortunately, that yes, 100% of our kids are going to be exposed to pornography, probably by the time they're 13 or 14.   Laura Dugger: (49:16 – 49:31) And sadly, some much younger than that. But even if there's parental controls, or filters put on, it is just something on my heart that we have to be so vigilant against.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (49:32 – 50:12) Yeah, no, I felt like when, you know, I have three boys, and when they were all three kind of in those teen years, I felt like I was trying to plug holes in a boat, and there'd be new ones popping up all the time. Whether it's like apps, or you know, things that you think are completely safe. Somehow, pornography can get through.   And our kids are smart, like they know the workarounds to the parental things. And that's why we just need to have conversation after conversation, just discipling them, not just protecting them from pornography, but discipling them through what they're inevitably going to be exposed to.   Laura Dugger: (50:13 – 51:05) That's a great point that not just being reactive, but proactive. I think why I have such a heart for this is because practicing and doing therapy and having so many people come in those wounds, that if that addiction gets a stronghold, and that pornography use, it just can wreak havoc in people long term. And so, if we can do that hard work of discipling early on, it is such a blessing to our children, to the generation.   So, I'm just so grateful for your candid responses. And I think it's also a helpful reminder just to never take on a burden that was never meant for us to carry. So, are there any ways that God has taught you to not try and do His business?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (51:07 – 52:16) Yeah. Boy, that's such a great question. I've had to come to the conclusion that I can't convince anyone of right and wrong. You know, like, I can't convince anyone that pornography is wrong, or gay marriage is wrong, or you know, like, that's not my job. My job is to walk with the Lord with integrity and faithfulness and to testify as to who He is.   And so much of this work, whether we're talking about marriage or our friends or our children, so much of this work has to be the Lord's work. And you reach a stage with your kids when they hit those teen years, where you realize the things my kids most need, I can't give them. I can't give them a relationship with God. I can't give them the desire to follow and seek the Lord. Like, I can model that for them. I can encourage them. But that is between them and the Lord. And if I try to control that, I'm just getting in the way of the work that God wants to do in their lives.   Laura Dugger: (52:18 – 52:33) Goodness, I will need to write that down and reflect on that. That is so good, Juli. And there's still so much more that you could share with us.   So, where is your preferred place that we can go online and continue learning from you?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (52:34 – 52:48) Yeah, I would say two places. Number one, our website is authenticintimacy.com. And the second one is the podcast that I do called Java with Juli. It goes along with The Savvy Sauce, you know, like they kind of go together.   Laura Dugger: (52:49 – 53:11) Yes, absolutely. We will certainly link to all of that in the show notes for today's episode.   And you're familiar, I've asked you many times before, because we are called savvy, because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge or discernment. So, as my final question for you today, Dr. Juli, what is your savvy sauce?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (53:13 – 53:58) Oh, I don't even remember how I answered this the last few times. I think I may have said this before, but I think reading the dead old guys is one of my savvy sauce, like reading people who didn't live in this generation who loved the Lord.   And learning from them is just, that's probably taught me more discernment than anything, because they just cut right through the cultural noise that I think sometimes can blind us. And they really help me see my heart for what it is and help me really want to pursue God at a deeper level.   Laura Dugger: (53:59 – 54:03) Wow. Any specific recommendations that have been personal favorites there?   Dr. Juli Slattery: (54:04 – 54:22) Yeah, I love A.W. Tozer. I love many of Andrew Murray's books, particularly Humility and Absolute Surrender. And C.S. Lewis is another great one, Mere Christianity. So, those are some that I would recommend you start with.   Laura Dugger: (54:23 – 54:44) That is wonderful. Thank you for sharing that.   And Juli, it's just always such a delight to get to share an hour of conversation with you. And you are just this beautiful mixture of bold and gentle and humble, all combined into one. So, thank you for being my returning guest today.   Dr. Juli Slattery: (54:44 – 54:49) Oh, thank you. And it's such a pleasure to be with you. Thanks for your great questions.   Laura Dugger: (54:51 – 58:33) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

What if the key to transforming your marriage isn't more time, but clearer priorities?In this episode, Nick and Amy are joined by therapist Austin to discuss one foundational truth: your marriage should be your priority. Not work. Not kids. Not phones. The marriage.Austin explains that many couples enter therapy focused on surface problems or looking for a “bad guy.” But when couples strengthen their emotional, physical, and spiritual bond, many issues naturally improve. When the relationship is healthy, everything else such as parenting, careers, stress functions better.It's Not About Time, It's About IntentionPrioritizing your spouse doesn't require hours each day. It's often small, consistent actions:A thoughtful textPlanning intimacy before a busy dayProtecting date nightChoosing your spouse over your phoneThese simple efforts say, You matter to me.When a spouse feels prioritized, connection can rebuild quickly.The Distraction ProblemMost couples live in “urgent but not important” mode — constantly reacting to notifications, emails, and distractions while neglecting what matters most.If your marriage is truly the priority, it should go on the calendar first — not last.A weekly “couples council” can help you stay aligned: express appreciation, review schedules, and intentionally plan time together before filling your week with everything else.A Covenant MindsetMarriage isn't just a commitment — it's a covenant. When you drift, repair isn't about blame. It's about course-correcting and saying, You matter most. I'm all in.A strong, intimate, playful marriage isn't complicated. It's intentional.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

  Understanding Sexual Intimacy: Self-Awareness, Healing, and Connection in the Intimacy Triangle (Part 2) Episode Summary In this concluding conversation on the Intimacy Triangle, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the most complex and often misunderstood dimension of intimacy—sexual intimacy. Together, they examine how personal history, trauma, shame, cultural messaging, betrayal, and biology shape the way individuals and couples experience sexuality. The discussion begins with a powerful question: “Who am I as a sexual being?” From there, they unpack the importance of self-awareness, emotional safety, and honest communication as the foundation for a healthy sexual relationship. Listeners will learn: Why many people feel confused, anxious, or avoidant around sexuality How early experiences, body shame, pornography, and betrayal trauma impact sexual connection The biological differences in male and female arousal and desire cycles How resentment, unresolved relational ruptures, and fear block intimacy Why obligation and pressure damage sexual bonding How vulnerability and attachment create deeper connection than performance The role of boundaries (“bridling passion”) in creating safe and meaningful sexual expression Dr. Skinner also outlines practical steps toward healthy sexual intimacy, including developing self-awareness, turning toward your partner with honesty, addressing past ruptures, and learning to negotiate desire in a non-threatening way. This episode reframes sexuality not as a source of shame or conflict, but as a bonding experience that can be joyful, healing, and deeply connecting when approached with compassion, safety, and understanding. The episode also includes: An invitation to participate in a grief and betrayal survey for the upcoming Human Intimacy Conference Details about the Seven Pillars of the Intimacy Repair Method training Access to the Human Intimacy YouTube channel Key Themes & Concepts Sexual self-awareness Celebration vs. shame of sexuality Attachment and “turning toward” your partner Bridling passion through boundaries Threat vs. desire systems in the brain Porn-induced sexual dysfunction and body shame Obligation vs. authentic sexual connection Repairing sexual ruptures through timeline work Presence and attunement after betrayal Negotiating desire differences with respect Resources & References Mentioned Human Intimacy & Conference 2nd Annual Human Intimacy Conference (March 13–14) Tracks: Betrayal Trauma Unwanted Sexual Behaviors Couple Healing Dr. Skinner's training: The Seven Pillars of the Intimacy Repair Method MaryAnn Michaelis' presentation: Grief After Betrayal Pre-conference Grief & Betrayal Survey (listener participation) Human Intimacy Platforms Human Intimacy YouTube Channel → youtube.com/@humanintimacy Contact: info@humanintimacy.com Models & Frameworks The Intimacy Triangle The Intimacy Repair Method Sexual history timeline in couple healing Zeigarnik Effect (unresolved relational ruptures) Research & Clinical Voices Dr. John Gottman – The Science of Trust (physiological and relational cycles) Dr. Pat Love – Hot Monogamy (desire differences and adaptation) Dr. Sue Johnson – Attachment & “turning toward” Clinical & Psychoeducational Concepts Attachment bonding and vulnerability Threat vs. arousal systems in female sexuality Testosterone and male sexual rhythms Porn-induced erectile dysfunction Body shame and betrayal trauma Obligation vs. authentic consent and presence Action Steps for Listeners (derived from the episode) Develop sexual self-awareness Practice honesty with yourself first Learn to communicate desire without pressure or shame Address past relational ruptures that still carry emotional scar tissue Turn toward your partner in vulnerability and curiosity Create boundaries that make sexuality safe and meaningful Closing Takeaway Healthy sexual intimacy is not about performance, frequency, or obligation—it is about safety, presence, attachment, and mutual understanding. When couples learn to replace fear and shame with compassion and honesty, sexuality becomes a powerful pathway to healing and connection.

Is it just us… or is everyone exhausted?In this honest and relatable episode of The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy tackle a question so many couples are asking: Are we too tired for our marriage?Between careers, kids, packed schedules, hormones, and everyday stress, exhaustion feels constant, and intimacy is often the first thing to fade. But here's the real challenge:Are you truly too tired… or have you stopped prioritizing your marriage?With humor and real-life perspective from 23 years of marriage, Nick and Amy unpack what's behind the “I'm too tired” excuse, and how to shift back into connection.In This Episode, You'll Learn:Why exhaustion is often more mental than physicalThe difference between being tired and simply boredWhy you find energy for what you're committed toHow overscheduling drains your relationshipThe power of small, intentional momentsWhy putting your phone down changes everythingHow dividing responsibilities reduces burnoutWhy laughter, play, and celebration actually create energyA Powerful ReminderMarriage isn't about feeling perfect every day — it's about choosing to show up, even when you're tired.Intimacy doesn't have to be complicated or time-consuming. Sometimes it's five focused minutes, holding hands, a compliment, or protecting a weekly date night. If you have energy to scroll, you have energy to connect.If you're exhausted, you're probably doing a lot of good things. But this episode will challenge you to look at your priorities, set better boundaries, and intentionally protect your marriage.Because when you get out of boredom and back into connection, energy follows.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

Send a textn this episode, Anatomy of Sexual Intimacy, I sit down with sex therapist Dr. Lisa Elieson to explore how sexuality is far more than a physical act — it's an expression of self and a creative language of love within marriage. Dr. Elieson shares how she integrates art into therapy to help couples better understand their sexual identity, emotional connection, and the deeper meaning behind intimacy. Together, we discuss how anxiety impacts sexual arousal, the different ways it tends to manifest for men and women, and how mindfulness practices can help calm the nervous system and create space for more authentic connection.We also dive into one of the most common struggles couples face: sexual desire discrepancy — when one partner has higher desire and the other lower desire. I bring real-life challenges from my counseling practice into the conversation, inviting Dr. Elieson's perspective on how couples can navigate these moments with empathy and curiosity rather than shame or pressure. The episode closes with a look at Dr. Elieson's current projects and practical ways listeners can learn more about her work and connect with her.Lisa is excited about two newly released books: 3 Core Communication skills, as well as, the 12 Types of Intimacy.   You can reach Dr. Eliason at www.HiddenLakesCounseling.com

Summary In this milestone episode celebrating two years of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most meaningful — and often misunderstood — dimensions of connection: physical and sexual intimacy. Many relationships struggle in this area, especially when trust has been disrupted or when couples have never learned how to build intimacy from a strong psychological and emotional foundation. Rather than viewing sexuality as the starting point of connection, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn explain why healthy relationships are built from the ground up — with safety, communication, emotional closeness, and trust forming the base. Listeners will learn why touch is a core human need across the lifespan, how the body responds to healthy connection, and why confusion often arises when partners attach different meanings to physical contact. The conversation also addresses the impact of betrayal, trauma, body image concerns, sensory sensitivity, and internalized shame — all of which can influence how safe or unsafe touch feels. Dr. Skinner introduces the concept of discovering your resistance, inviting listeners to notice what happens internally when they experience or anticipate physical touch. Is there comfort? Anxiety? Fear? Longing? Awareness is the first step toward rebuilding intimacy. The episode also emphasizes the importance of consent, compassionate communication, and pacing. For many couples, healing may begin by temporarily removing sexual expectations and returning to simple, non-sexual forms of connection such as holding hands, hugging, or sitting close together. When emotional, psychological, and relational intimacy are strengthened, sexual intimacy becomes less confusing and more connecting — allowing couples to experience the bonding power of vulnerability, presence, and trust. Whether you are rebuilding after betrayal or simply seeking a deeper connection, this episode offers a thoughtful roadmap toward creating safety in touch and rediscovering the beauty of being fully seen, accepted, and loved. Resources Human Intimacy Conference (March 13–14, 2026) Join Dr. Kevin Skinner, MaryAnn Michaelis, and leading experts for two days of live teaching focused on healing from betrayal and strengthening relationships. Register at: bit.ly/humanintimacy Use coupon code 30OFF for a discount. Human Intimacy YouTube Channel Watch full podcast episodes and access additional relationship resources: youtube.com/@human-intimacy Related Episodes Episode 22: Exploring Sexuality — Navigating the Line Between Healthy and Unhealthy Behaviors Episode 65: Consent, Communication, and the Core of Intimacy Books & Educational Resources Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal — Dr. Kevin Skinner The Intimacy Pyramid & Seven Types of Intimacy teachings HumanIntimacy.com for courses, assessments, and relationship tools

Send a textValentine's Day expectations in marriage often go unspoken — and that's where disappointment begins.In this episode, Christine explores how waiting for your spouse to meet expectations without clear communication can create quiet resentment. You'll learn how to examine what you truly want, share your desires with clarity, and use Valentine's Day as an invitation for deeper connection rather than pressure.Christine also discusses how to express love without conditions, take care of your own heart when expectations aren't met, and start honest conversations that build intimacy over time.Resources mentioned:– Gentle Start Guide to Better Communication– Courageous Love Conversation

Do you struggle with your understanding of how non-monogamy reconciles with a life of faith? Join us for a thought provoking conversation with Dr Mitch G, the newest member of the Expansive Connection coaching team. His training, experience, and specialization in religion and theology provides a helpful framework and understanding for those with religious backgrounds who find themselves struggling with their belief systems or plagued by shame, guilt, and fear over what they've been taught or once believed. Dr Mitch's Education and Certifications B.A in Religion Master's degree in Theology Doctoral degree in Holistic Health Postive Psychology & Well-being Coaching Certification Resources supporting this episode: Join the We Gotta Thing Community! Expansive Connection Coaching Embracing Prodigals by John Sanders (Cascade Books, 2020) How the Bible Actually Works by Peter Enns, PhD (Harper One, 2019) Inspired by Rachel Held Evans (Nelson Books, 2018) Better Ways to Read the Bible by Zack W. Lambert (Brazos Press, 2025) "Why You Don't Want a Biblical Marriage" with Jennifer Bird, PhD (Podcast - The New Evangelicals)  Marriage in the Bible - What Do the Texts Say? by Jennifer G. Bird, PhD (Rowman & Littlefield, 2023) Sex, God & the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy by Tina Schermer Sellers, PhD (Routledge, 2017) Let's Talk About Sex - Challenging the Church's Stance on Sexual Morality by Glen Farell (Love Done Right, 2024) or their podcast "But is it Biblical" with Glen & Lydia Farell Shameless - A Sexual Reformation by Nadia Bolz-Weber (Convergent, 2019) Beyond Shame - Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms by Matthias Roberts (Fortress Press, 2020) The Wisdom of Your Body - Finding Healing, Wholeness, and Connection through Embodied Living by Hillary McBride, PhD (Brazos Press, 2021) NG Podcast - "Reconciling Religion & Non-monogamy" 9/10/2024 Casual Swinger Podcast - "Shame on you! - Love God" 12/16/2019      

Send us a textIn this episode of Needs to Be Studied, we're joined by Master Radiant, who helps break down how kink can deepen emotional intimacy, trust, and vulnerability in sex in ways many “vanilla” relationships never touch. From consent and communication to aftercare and emotional safety, we explore why some people feel more seen, protected, and connectedduring kink than in everyday dating.Together, we talk about the moment kink stopped feeling purely physical and started feeling emotional, how trust shows up during sex (not just in love), and why structured boundaries can actually make it easier to open up. Master Radiant also shares insight into what happens after the scene — the check-ins, reassurance, and care that build real intimacy beyond the bedroom.We also get into extracurricular activities like figging, sploshing, needle play, and abrasion play, and break down Fire Play 101 — what it is, how it's practiced safely, and why it's not as reckless or scary as people assume.Whether you're kink-curious, actively exploring, or strictly vanilla but craving deeper emotional connection in your sex life, this episode will challenge what you think intimacy really looks like.

Everyone wants a better intimate life, right? In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Amy and Nick dive into 10 simple things couples can do to improve intimacy in their marriage. These aren't complicated or time-consuming, just small, intentional actions that can have a profound impact on your connection, closeness, and passion.We also talk about why taking baby steps is key. You don't have to do everything at once, just pick one or two ideas, start implementing them, and watch your marriage transform. Whether your intimacy feels okay, routine, or already good but you want it even better, this episode is full of practical tips! So if you want the clothes coming off more often, join us for this fun podcast episode!If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

Struggling with a dead bedroom? Talking about sex can feel more vulnerable and more terrifying than almost any other conversation in relationships, but it's the key to bringing back the spark. In this episode, you'll learn how to talk about sex with your partner in ways that strengthen emotional intimacy, reignite sexual intimacy, deepen connection, and help couples communicate without shame, fear, or defensiveness. If you've ever wanted more closeness or desire in your relationship but felt frozen when it came time to talk about sex, you're not alone. For many couples, learning how to talk about sex with your partner feels risky—even when love is strong and the longing for connection is real. Fear of rejection, conflict, or hurting each other can keep these conversations stuck beneath the surface, quietly eroding intimacy over time. In this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Tara, a Kinsey-certified sexologist and tenured professor of sexual and relational communication, to talk about how to communicate better about sex in ways that actually build safety, trust, and closeness. We explore why sexual conversations feel so charged, how cultural conditioning shapes desire and avoidance, and what helps couples rebuild trust sexually after long periods of distance, rejection, or disconnection. You'll hear practical guidance for starting these conversations gently, expanding what sexual intimacy can look like in long-term relationships, and taking responsibility for your own sexual self—without blame or shame. As you listen, I invite you to reflect on this question: What might become possible in your relationship if talking about sex felt safer, clearer, and more connecting than it does right now? Episode Breakdown 00:00 Why Talking About Sex Feels So Hard in Relationships 06:30 The Cost of Avoiding Conversations About Sex 15:00 How Sexual Communication Affects Intimacy and Connection 22:00 How to Talk About Sex Without Fear or Defensiveness 27:30 Understanding Your Sexual Self Before Communicating Needs 30:00 Redefining Sexual Intimacy Beyond Penetration 33:00 How to Ask for What You Want Sexually (Without Hurting Your Partner) 39:00 Navigating Sexual Differences in Long-Term Relationships 47:00 Rebuilding Sexual Trust and Attraction After Distance 52:40 The Core Skill: Knowing What You Want and Communicating It If this conversation stirred something for you—maybe a desire to feel closer, more confident, or more understood—you're invited to schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It's a private, secure space where you can share what's been happening in your relationship and what you're hoping will feel different. You'll answer three quick questions so we can thoughtfully match you with the right counselor or coach for your needs. It only takes a couple of minutes, and it's designed to help you find support that fits, whether you're working on communication, rebuilding sexual trust, or finding your way back to connection. Consider this a gentle next step and an open door, if and when you're ready. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month's sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs  to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

Set the context for a joyful, exuberant day with a short, powerful message from Sadhguru. Explore a range of subjects with Sadhguru, discover how every aspect of life can be a stepping stone, and learn to make the most of the potential that a human being embodies.  Conscious Planet: ⁠https://www.consciousplanet.org⁠ Sadhguru App (Download): ⁠https://onelink.to/sadhguru__app⁠ Official Sadhguru Website: ⁠https://isha.sadhguru.org⁠ Sadhguru Exclusive: ⁠https://isha.sadhguru.org/in/en/sadhguru-exclusive⁠ Inner Engineering Link: isha.co/ieo-podcast Yogi, mystic and visionary, Sadhguru is a spiritual master with a difference. An arresting blend of profundity and pragmatism, his life and work serves as a reminder that yoga is a contemporary science, vitally relevant to our times. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Set the context for a joyful, exuberant day with a short, powerful message from Sadhguru. Explore a range of subjects with Sadhguru, discover how every aspect of life can be a stepping stone, and learn to make the most of the potential that a human being embodies.  Conscious Planet: ⁠https://www.consciousplanet.org⁠ Sadhguru App (Download): ⁠https://onelink.to/sadhguru__app⁠ Official Sadhguru Website: ⁠https://isha.sadhguru.org⁠ Sadhguru Exclusive: ⁠https://isha.sadhguru.org/in/en/sadhguru-exclusive⁠ Inner Engineering Link: isha.co/ieo-podcast Yogi, mystic and visionary, Sadhguru is a spiritual master with a difference. An arresting blend of profundity and pragmatism, his life and work serves as a reminder that yoga is a contemporary science, vitally relevant to our times. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Sathiya discusses the relationship between quitting pornography and sexual activity within marriage. He addresses common concerns about performance anxiety and the importance of intimacy in the healing process. Through personal anecdotes and insights from coaching experiences, Sathiya emphasizes that sexual connection can be beneficial during recovery, provided it is approached with honesty and openness. He also introduces techniques like Sensate Touch to help couples rebuild intimacy in a healthy way. Know more about Sathiya's work: Join DEEP CLEAN SIGNATURE PROGRAM Join Deep Clean Inner Circle - The Brotherhood You Neeed (+ get coached by Sathiya) For Less Than $2/day Submit Your Questions (Anonymously) To Be Answered On The Podcast Get A Free Copy of The Last Relapse, Your Blueprint For Recovery Watch Sathiya on Youtube For More Content Like This Chapters: (00:00) Introduction to Freedom from Pornography (00:56) The Impact of Quitting Pornography (02:47) The Role of Sexual Intimacy in Recovery (05:08) Addressing Performance Anxiety (08:02) Building Intimacy Through Sensate Touch

In this episode, we have Austin Ellis back with us to dive into what it really means and what it looks like to be a better wife in marriage. You are going to absolutely love this conversation. We have already talked about what it means to be a good, loving husband, but as we all know, marriage takes two. A healthy, thriving, and passionate marriage requires both spouses intentionally pouring into the relationship.In this episode, we explore what that looks like specifically for wives and how small, intentional choices can make a big impact on connection. Expert Austin Ellis, LMFT, shares practical insights, tools, and strategies couples can use to reconnect and strengthen their marriage. He dives into how spouses can move beyond simply getting their needs met and instead build a relationship where both spouses genuinely want to engage, feel emotionally connected, and rediscover passion together.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

Set the context for a joyful, exuberant day with a short, powerful message from Sadhguru. Explore a range of subjects with Sadhguru, discover how every aspect of life can be a stepping stone, and learn to make the most of the potential that a human being embodies.  Conscious Planet: ⁠https://www.consciousplanet.org⁠ Sadhguru App (Download): ⁠https://onelink.to/sadhguru__app⁠ Official Sadhguru Website: ⁠https://isha.sadhguru.org⁠ Sadhguru Exclusive: ⁠https://isha.sadhguru.org/in/en/sadhguru-exclusive⁠ Inner Engineering Link: isha.co/ieo-podcast Yogi, mystic and visionary, Sadhguru is a spiritual master with a difference. An arresting blend of profundity and pragmatism, his life and work serves as a reminder that yoga is a contemporary science, vitally relevant to our times. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Set the context for a joyful, exuberant day with a short, powerful message from Sadhguru. Explore a range of subjects with Sadhguru, discover how every aspect of life can be a stepping stone, and learn to make the most of the potential that a human being embodies.  Conscious Planet: ⁠https://www.consciousplanet.org⁠ Sadhguru App (Download): ⁠https://onelink.to/sadhguru__app⁠ Official Sadhguru Website: ⁠https://isha.sadhguru.org⁠ Sadhguru Exclusive: ⁠https://isha.sadhguru.org/in/en/sadhguru-exclusive⁠ Inner Engineering Link: isha.co/ieo-podcast Yogi, mystic and visionary, Sadhguru is a spiritual master with a difference. An arresting blend of profundity and pragmatism, his life and work serves as a reminder that yoga is a contemporary science, vitally relevant to our times. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Emotional and sexual intimacy in marriage depends less on chemistry and more on how partners choose to interact one moment to the next. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra Stockwell explains how mastering daily transitions creates deeper emotional connection and more fulfilling intimacy.   If you want to learn how to transition into having sex successfully, join Dr. Alexandra's exclusive masterclass for men: How to Ask Your Woman for Sex (so she's more likely to say Yes). You'll gain practical tools you can use right away: https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/yes/   For personalized support or to explore working with Dr. Alexandra directly, connect with her here:https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/contact     Subscribe To The Intimate Marriage Podcast: Apple Podcast | YouTube | Spotify Connect With Alexandra Stockwell, MD: Website | Linkedin | Instagram   Get your copy of "Uncompromising Intimacy" by Dr. Alexandra Stockwell here: https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl Download the first chapter of Dr Alexandra's bestselling book, "Uncompromising Intimacy," here:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/book   Cultivate your intimacy skills (without compromise) in Aligned & Hot Marriage, Dr. Alexandra's proven method for smart couples ready to love more fully:  www.alignedhotmarriage.com   Join Dr. Alexandra's email list to stay connected. She shares inspiring stories, her latest insights, and opportunities to learn with her:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/subscribe   This Podcast Is Produced, Engineered & Edited By:  Simplified Impact

Emotional and sexual intimacy in marriage depends less on chemistry and more on how partners choose to interact one moment to the next. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra Stockwell explains how mastering daily transitions creates deeper emotional connection and more fulfilling intimacy.   If you want to learn how to transition into having sex successfully, join Dr. Alexandra's exclusive masterclass for men: How to Ask Your Woman for Sex (so she's more likely to say Yes). You'll gain practical tools you can use right away: https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/yes/   For personalized support or to explore working with Dr. Alexandra directly, connect with her here:https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/contact     Subscribe To The Intimate Marriage Podcast: Apple Podcast | YouTube | Spotify Connect With Alexandra Stockwell, MD: Website | Linkedin | Instagram   Get your copy of "Uncompromising Intimacy" by Dr. Alexandra Stockwell here: https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl Download the first chapter of Dr Alexandra's bestselling book, "Uncompromising Intimacy," here:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/book   Cultivate your intimacy skills (without compromise) in Aligned & Hot Marriage, Dr. Alexandra's proven method for smart couples ready to love more fully:  www.alignedhotmarriage.com   Join Dr. Alexandra's email list to stay connected. She shares inspiring stories, her latest insights, and opportunities to learn with her:  https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/subscribe   This Podcast Is Produced, Engineered & Edited By:  Simplified Impact

Many men assume their struggle with sex is about low libido — but often, it's something deeper. In this episode, David breaks down Sexual Intimacy Resistance in Men: why desire fades even when love is still there, and how intimacy itself can start to feel threatening on a nervous-system level. Rather than blaming attraction, hormones, or performance, this conversation reveals what's really happening beneath the surface — and why fixing libido misses the point. If you're experiencing emotional distance, reduced initiation, numbness during sex, or a growing wall between you and your partner, this episode offers clarity on the unseen patterns blocking intimacy — and what actually helps restore closeness and desire. Topics Covered What sexual intimacy resistance really is (and isn't) Why it's different from low libido or fear of intimacy How the nervous system blocks arousal and closeness Common patterns in avoidant and high-functioning men How resentment, pressure, and shame kill desire Why intimacy must be treated as a closeness issue — not a performance problem

చిన్న వయసులోనే లైంగిక సాన్నిహిత్యం, కౌమారదశలో ఉన్నవారి శారీరక, మానసిక, భావోద్వేగ ఎదుగుదలపై ఎలాంటి ప్రభావం చూపుతుందో సద్గురు మాట్లాడుతున్నారు. తమ పిల్లలు వారి పూర్తి సామర్థ్యాన్ని అందుకునేలా ఎదగడానికి, తల్లిదండ్రులు వారికి ఎలా మద్దతుగా నిలవవచ్చో కూడా ఆయన తెలియజేస్తున్నారు. సద్గురు అధికారిక యూట్యూబ్ ఛానెల్ https://youtube.com/@SadhguruTelugu  అధికారిక ఇన్స్టాగ్రాం పేజ్ https://www.instagram.com/sadhgurutelugu/ మరిన్ని తెలుగు వ్యాసాలు ఇంకా వీడియోలని చూడండి http://telugu.sadhguru.org సద్గురు అధికారిక ఫేస్బుక్ పేజ్ https://www.facebook.com/SadhguruTelugu అధికారిక తెలుగు ట్విట్టర్ ప్రొఫైల్ https://twitter.com/sadhguru_telugu సద్గురు యాప్ డౌన్లోడ్ చేసుకోండి http://onelink.to/sadhguru__app యోగి, దార్శనీకుడు ఇంకా మానవతావాది అయిన సద్గురు ఒక విభిన్నత కలిగిన ఆధునిక ఆధ్యాత్మిక గురువు. కార్యశీలతతో కూడిన విశిష్టమైన ఆయన జీవితం మరియు ఆయన చేస్తున్న కృషి, యోగా అన్నది ఒక సమకాలీన విజ్ఞాన శాస్త్రమనీ, మన కాలానికి ఎంతో ముఖ్యమైనది అని గుర్తుచేసే మేలుకొలుపు. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We talk about this all the time on the Ultimate Intimacy podcast — emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy go hand in hand. You can't expect a strong sex life if you're not emotionally connected first.For most people, especially many women desire doesn't start in the bedroom. It starts with feeling heard, valued, and emotionally safe. If that connection is missing, sexual intimacy often disappears right along with it.That's why when couples say, “Our intimacy isn't where we want it to be,” we usually ask them how the emotional connection is, and most the time it isn't connected either.When you focus on listening, showing appreciation, spending intentional time together, and connecting without pressure, walls come down and desire naturally begins to return.And here's the exciting part... when emotional intimacy improves, sexual intimacy often comes back stronger than ever. Couples become more open, playful, and connected, and intimacy turns into something you both look forward to again.So if you want a better intimate life, don't skip the foundation.Build emotional closeness first, and watch every part of your marriage thrive.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

One of the fastest ways intimacy erodes in marriage is through assumption.We assume our spouse knows what we need.We assume they understand how we feel.We assume love means they should just “get it.”But marriage doesn't work on mind-reading as we have talked about before, it works on communication.When we assume things, we stop asking questions. And when we stop asking questions, we stop truly knowing our spouse. Over time, those assumptions turn into unmet expectations, and unmet expectations almost always lead to frustration, resentment, or emotional distance.Dr. John Gottman, one of the leading marriage researchers, talks about “bids for connection” the small moments where one spouse reaches out for attention, affection, or understanding. When those bids are ignored, often because of assumptions, couples slowly drift apart. Assumptions also damage sexual intimacy. When one spouse assumes rejection, disinterest, or “now's not a good time,” desire goes unspoken. Silence replaces vulnerability. And eventually, intimacy feels awkward or distant, not because love is gone, but because communication is.In this episode, Nick and Amy talk about how making assumptions or assuming things in marriage can crate a lot of disconnect and conflict.Healthy marriages don't assume. They ask.They clarify.They check in.They choose conversation over silence.Because love isn't proven by how well you guess, it's proven by how well you listen.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.*This episode was recorded and published a few years ago and we released it again.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

Send us a text & leave your email address if you want a reply!Most people think intimacy equals sex, but here's what we've discovered: there are actually 12 different types of intimacy you can experience with your partner, friends, family, and even coworkers. Sexpert hosts, Leah Piper and Dr. Willow Brown dive deep into all of them, sharing their our own intimacy strengths and blind spots, and give you practical tools to create deeper connections in every relationship.EPISODE HIGHLIGHTSThe Complete 12 Types Revealed - Sexual, emotional, creative, recreational, work, intellectual, aesthetic, commitment, conflict, communication, crisis, and spiritual intimacy (yes, they're all interconnected!)"Into Me I See" Principle - True intimacy is about being deeply seen and understood by another person, creating belonging and meaning in your lifeThe Three Pillars of All Intimacy - Trust, vulnerability, and presence are the foundation that supports every type of connectionEssential Communication Tool - Ask "What do you need from me right now?" with three options: listening, problem-solving, or distractionOur Vulnerable Self-Assessment - Willow's top three are spiritual, sexual, emotional while Leah's are commitment, creative, emotional (plus where we both struggle)Beyond Your Partner - These intimacy types apply to all relationships and can help couples who've lost connection find their way back to each otherLINKS & RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE CAN BE FOUND HERE ON THE WEBSITELAST 10x LONGER. If you suffer from premature ejaculation, you are not alone, master 5 techniques to cure this stressful & embarrassing issue once and for all. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST20. THE VAGINAL ORGASM MASTERCLASS. Discover how to activate the female Gspot, clitoris, & cervical orgasms. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST 20Support the show FREEBIE- Introduction to Tantric Kissing Video and Workbook SxR Website Dr. Willow's Website Leah's Website

In many marriages, the higher-desire spouse ends up being the one who always initiates sex. Over time, that dynamic can leave the lower desire spouse feeling pressured, and the higher-desire spouse feeling unwanted or unseen.But here's the truth: when the lower-desire spouse initiates, it can be incredibly powerful. It communicates love, desire, safety, and “you matter to me” in a way words alone never could.In this episode, Amy and Nick dive into 12 fun, flirty, and confidence-boosting ways the lower-desire spouse can initiate sex with a higher-desire spouse. They also share why sexual intimacy matters so deeply in marriage, and why initiative from the lower-desire spouse can be a total game-changer for connection, trust, and emotional closeness.If you want more passion, more playfulness, and a stronger bond in your marriag, then this episode is for you.

Womanhood Wellness is where functional medicine meets feminine wisdom—guiding you to balance hormones, awaken libido, and prepare for pregnancy with intention. Join today.What if the hardest part of trying to conceive isn't your body, but the silence around what you're actually feeling?In this episode, Dr. Leah sits down with Dr. Andrea Liner, a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in reproductive mental health. She's also an IVF mama who navigated nearly four years of infertility, including misdiagnosis, two egg retrievals, and being told at 32 that she needed an egg donor.The trying to conceive journey brings up emotions most people don't know how to name, let alone process. Dr. Andrea walks through the mental traps that commonly keep couples stuck, the relationship dynamics that shift under pressure, and what actually helps when nothing is going according to plan.You'll Learn:[00:00] Introduction[02:60] Dr. Andrea's nearly four-year fertility journey[15:27] The mental toll on high-functioning achievers who can't muscle their way through infertility[17:44] How fertility struggles permeate every aspect of your daily life and identity[18:45] The existential questions that surface when you feel like a failure at what matters most[24:29] When sex becomes a chore rather than a fun activity that cultivates connection and brings new life into the world[27:13] The worst things people say and how to navigate relationships during infertility[37:34] First steps for navigating pregnancy loss[40:55] The shame of struggling in pregnancy when you fought so hard to conceiveConnect on a deeper level with Dr. Andrea by joining her mailing list.Find more from Dr. Andrea:Flux Psychology | WebsiteReproductive Psychology | InstagramFind more from Dr. Leah:Dr. Leah Gordon | InstagramDr. Leah Gordon | WebsiteWomanhood Wellness | WebsiteFind more from Dr. Morgan:Dr. Morgan MacDermott | InstagramDr. Morgan MacDermott | WebsiteUse code HEALTHYMOTHER and save 15% at RedmondFor 20% off your first order at Needed, use code HEALTHYMOTHERSave $260 at Lumebox, use code HEALTHYASAMOTHER

In most marriages (whether done intentionally or unintentionally), the lower desire spouse typically has complete control and say so when it comes to sex. They determine "if" a couple is going to have sex, "when" they are going to have sex, and everything related to sex in the relationship. Many husbands have expressed to us that they are the higher desire spouse and are scared to initiate sex with their wife for fear of rejection, having it cause an argument or conflict, and many other reasons. Because of this, and the fact that most women have a responsive desire style, many couples are not connecting sexually in their relationship (and often living in sexless marriages, or close to) because sex in the marriage is typically up to the wife.In this podcast episode Nick and Amy discuss the reasons why this is, and how couples can work together to find a balance in their sexual intimacy and relationship where both spouses needs and desires are being met, and sex is something that both spouses have mutual respect and control over in the relationship.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.*This episode was recorded and published a few years ago and we released it again.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

What actually keeps desire alive in long-term partnerships? According to Emily Nagoski, PhD, it's not relentless passion—it's admiration.In this episode of The Partnership Podcast, Lauren and Trey explore why liking, respecting, and admiring your partner may be one of the most powerful (and under-practiced) ingredients in sustaining erotic connection over time. Quoting Nagoski's book Come Together, they reflect on her reminder:“You don't need to want your partner passionately so much as you need to like them, admire them, and believe that they are worth some effort.”They kick things off with a vulnerable and hilarious story about Lauren forgetting to replenish a household item—and jokingly “making up for it” by seducing Trey (yes, the heels make sense once you hear the story). From there, they share a simple but profound ritual inspired by Nagoski's work: ending the day by naming five things they admire about one another.Mid-episode, Trey invites Lauren to coach him live as a “pretend client” who is afraid to ask for admiration after being ridiculed in the past. Lauren walks listeners through compassionate, grounded ways to initiate conversations about admiration with a partner—offering tools that are immediately usable and deeply regulating.They also introduce the idea of increasing our positive affect tolerance: practicing receiving compliments by making eye contact and simply saying, “thank you.” Together, they unpack why receiving admiration can feel surprisingly difficult—and why cultivating a culture of admiration in our homes and relationships is essential for intimacy, safety, and desire.This conversation marks Part One of a three-part series designed to support partnerships through the holiday season. Be sure to come back next Monday at 7am for Part Two as Lauren and Trey continue this important exploration.If this conversation stirred something for you, especially around admiration, desire, or feeling seen in your partnership, you don't have to navigate it alone. You can request a free 15-minute consultation for individuals and couples who want support building more connected, intimate, and resilient relationships.Request your consult at sexedforyou.com/freeconsult.Ideal for couples in long-term partnerships who want deeper intimacy, more desire, and better sex.About Us: Lauren and Trey are partners living in Central Virginia where Lauren owns and operates, SEX ED FOR YOU. She provides comprehensive sexuality education and embodied coaching to individuals, partners, and parents.Through a biopsychosocial approach, Sex Ed for You works to restore positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as increase the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. (WHO)Sexual health is fundamental to the overall health and well-being of individuals, couples and families, and to the social and economic development of communities and countries. (WHO) When individuals are blocked from sexual health they are stunted from developing a sense of sensual play and enjoyment. • Learn more about Sex Ed for You at ⁠⁠https://www.sexedforyou.com⁠⁠• Schedule a FREE CONSULT with Lauren today: ⁠⁠https://www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult⁠⁠• Learn more about partnered communication best practices on Sex Ed For You's Instagram Page: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/sex_ed_for_you/⁠⁠• Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more videos about sex, partnership, communication, and love: ⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@thepartnershippodcast⁠⁠Reminders: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It's all up to you. Lauren is NOT a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy and Relationship Coach.

How often do you tell yourself, or hear from your spouse the phrase "I will try harder" and things never seem to get better? Things don't get better just by trying... you have to have a game plan and start doing.In this very impactful episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we interview Nate Whitson where he reveals how to finally stop "trying" and actually start "doing" when it comes to breaking bad habits in your marriage, or in your personal life. He share the 4 things you can start doing that actually work!1. Make Bad Habits InvisibleNate breaks down how reshaping your environment weakens temptation instantly. When a habit is out of sight, it loses its power.2. Make Them UnattractiveLearn how to rewire the way you see your habits so they lose their appeal. A simple mindset shift can turn old patterns from comforting to unwanted.3. Make Them DifficultFriction works! Discover how adding small obstacles to harmful behaviors slows them down and gives you space to choose something better.4. Make Them UnsatisfyingBad habits stick because they reward you. We show you how to flip the reward system and create accountability and positive payoffs that strengthen your relationship.If there are some bad habits in your marriage, or in life, this episode can be a game changer for you!If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

Are you unknowingly putting your marriage on hold while you pour everything into parenting? In this episode of The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy break down the 7 signs that your kids may be taking priority over your relationship.Are your decisions centered around your kids' schedules and activities?Do date nights rarely happen because you're “too busy”?Do you feel guilty spending time alone together even though it hardly ever happens?Is there no time or energy left for your spouse at the end of the day?You're not alone. So many couples fall into this cycle with the best intentions.Join us as we share personal insights, real-life examples, and practical ways to reconnect as a couple, while still being incredible parents. Because a strong marriage is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children, and prioritizing your relationship isn't selfish… it's essential.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

Send us a text & leave your email address if you want a reply!Why Do Women Stop Wanting Sex? A Deeper Look at Desire and Partnership - Most men arrive at Kevin Anthony's practice with a familiar question: "She used to want sex, but not anymore." What they discover challenges everything they thought they knew about female desire, masculine presence, and what it actually takes to sustain passion in long-term relationships. In this conversation with certified sexologist and Love Lab podcast host Kevin Anthony, we explore the nuanced landscape of sexual connection—from the art of being truly present to the daily practices that maintain erotic energy between partners.WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER:Why "showing up" sexually requires more than physical presenceThe visual stages of female arousal most couples never learnHow keeping small promises becomes relationship lubricationWhen taking sex off the table actually increases desireLINKS & RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE CAN BE FOUND ON THE WEBSITE - CLICK HERELAST 10x LONGER. If you suffer from premature ejaculation, you are not alone, master 5 techniques to cure this stressful & embarrassing issue once and for all. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST20. THE VAGINAL ORGASM MASTERCLASS. Discover how to activate the female Gspot, clitoris, & cervical orgasms. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST 20Support the show FREEBIE- Introduction to Tantric Kissing Video and Workbook SxR Website Dr. Willow's Website Leah's Website

DESIRE DECEMBER is here and this is exactly what your marriage needs. I don't know what kind of write up to do to explain what this episode is.. so you will just have to listen to the podcast episode to find out :)If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

Ever wonder why you and your spouse feel distant by the end of the day? It might have nothing to do with big issues and everything to do with your evening and bedtime routine. In this episode, we share some very simple things that our audience shared from our Instagram survey, like spending 30 minutes talking, putting phones away at 8, cuddling, or praying together, small habits that can be marriage changing.These intentional moments help you connect emotionally, spark intimacy, and end the day feeling close rather than distant. It doesn't take hours, just consistent, meaningful actions that make your spouse feel seen, loved, and desired.In this episode Nick and Amy share poll answers, simple tips and stories to help conquer your bedtime routine so you can find more passion and unity in your relationship! If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

In episode 307, Mark & Steve respond to an all-too-common history and situation submitted by a betrayed partner. Healthy sexual intimacy after betrayal cannot simply return to what it once was; it must be rebuilt on a new foundation of authenticity and safety. Because pornography shapes the brain and rewires arousal patterns, couples often find themselves questioning what's real, what's healthy, and whether desire is rooted in connection or in old fantasy. Many partners struggle to trust, and many addicts struggle to trust themselves, creating a complex emotional landscape that must be navigated with care. This healing begins by evaluating intention and headspace—asking not what partners want to do sexually, but why they want to do it and what meaning it carries.From there, intimacy must be rebuilt through trust and transparency. Couples need to be able to talk openly about sexual preferences, fears, boundaries, and emotional needs before engaging physically. Silence or lack of objection is not consent; safety must be mutual, expressed, and explicit. Boundaries should be set outside of arousal states, and couples may need to slow down significantly—sometimes even stepping back to basics like hand-holding or non-sexual touch—while they rebuild a foundation that can hold the weight of deeper connection.Ultimately, recovering sexual intimacy after sexual toxicity is an evolving journey, not an achievement. It requires vulnerability, patience, and willingness to explore together rather than perform or comply. When couples move intentionally through this process—anchoring their sexuality in meaning, emotional presence, collaboration, and shared values—they often find themselves creating a sexual connection that is deeper and healthier than anything they experienced before recovery.For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to:   How Do We Discover/Recover Healthy Sexual Intimacy After Sexual Toxicity and Betrayal?Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

A video of ours recently went viral showing husbands sitting in their cars after work, and it sparked a huge conversation, why do some men need these few minutes before coming inside? Sometimes home can feel heavier than work, and that moment in the car gives a pause to transition from stress to family life. In this episode, we dive into how wives, and husbands, can create a peaceful, positive home environment that encourages connection, calm, and intimacy. We also discuss how the opposite, tension, chaos, or negativity, can make that pause even longer or more stressful.The best part? These strategies aren't complicated! With small, intentional actions, your home can feel more peaceful, unified, and welcoming, making it easier for both spouses to connect, decompress, and enjoy each other's company.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

In this episode of The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we're diving into a topic we honestly never expected to cover, but It's one of the most vulnerable, painful, and confusing issues couples face, yet it's far more common than most people realize.Over the past year, we've received countless messages from both husbands and wives who feel distressed, ashamed, or completely lost because their attraction toward their spouse has changed, or they say they aren't attracted to them anymore and don't know what to do.Because so many of you have reached out and asked for guidance, we knew we needed to approach it carefully, compassionately, and with an expert. So we invited back one of our favorite guests and experts, LMFT Kevin Johnson, who specializes in relationships, emotional connection, and marital dynamics.If you or your spouse have ever felt this way, or if you simply want to understand why this happens in marriage, then this podcast episode is for you.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

This week, Pastor Tony continues in our Marriage and Family Sermon Series and talks about Sexual Intimacy and how love is what you give, how you take, the way you live and what you make.

In this eye-opening episode of The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy have an amazing interview with an expert discussing perimenopause and menopause—a stage that will affect over 1 billion women worldwide in the coming years. Did you know that around 47 million women enter menopause every year, yet many feel unprepared for the changes in their bodies, hormones, and intimate relationships?Nick and Amy and their guest Jesse dive into the physical, emotional, and relational shifts that come with this life stage, sharing expert insights, experiences, and practical tips for maintaining connection, desire, and confidence. Whether you're experiencing the transition yourself or supporting a spouse going through this period in life, this episode will be vital to help you both navigate this stage in life and offer guidance to help you embrace this next chapter with empowerment and intimacy. This episode will benefit anyone as this is something almost all relationship will go through.Tune in for a candid, compassionate, and enlightening conversation about love, desire, and thriving through midlife changes.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

Learn about why sexual intimacy is essential and how neglecting this pillar can quietly erode your closeness and connection. | “Intimacy is not a luxury — it's a lifeline. It's the way we know we are not alone in the world.” —Sue Johnson Is it really possible to rekindle the spark and restore the “like-new” connection in your marriage? Yes it is! In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You'll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach. Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today! Links from today's episode: The 6 Pillars at Sea Marriage Getaway Foreplay to Passion Program Apply for Coaching With Alisa Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Amy and Nick turn the tables to talk about what wives really want in the bedroom, and it's probably not just what you think. Drawing from listener feedback, polls, and real conversations, we uncover the deeper desires that make intimacy meaningful for women.Join us for an open, encouraging, and funny discussion that might just change the way you think about connection in your marriage.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

In this candid episode, Amy and Nick share 5 things about each other that you probably didn't know about them, before diving into the “other” things that husbands secretly crave in the bedroom .. and no, it's not what you might think! Based on polls, real listener feedback, and honest conversations, we're unpacking the other desires that often go unspoken.From deeper connection and affirmation to playfulness, curiosity, and feeling pursued,  this episode goes beyond the physical to explore what truly makes intimacy fulfilling for men.Tune in as we share insights, laughs, and a few surprises along the way. We think most husbands will be nodding along.. and we'd love to hear if you agree!If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

Your child's diagnosis can reshape everything, marriages included. The same partnership that once felt effortless can become consumed by care plans, schedules, and unspoken grief. Over time, love turns into teamwork—and sometimes, survival.  In this conversation with Amanda Griffith-Atkins, we unpack the real challenges couples face when parenting through medical complexity: the imbalance of the mental load, the grief that seeps into communication, and the long road back to connection. Amanda offers practical, compassionate guidance for finding your way back to each other, even if right now, your marriage feels like it's in survival mode.If you've ever wondered what “making it work” really looks like when life is this hard, this conversation offers validation, compassion, and a path back to understanding.Links:Get a copy of How to Handle More Than You Can Handle by Amanda Griffith-Atkins.Listen to Ep 156: Should I Get a Divorce?Listen to Ep 180: Does It Get Easier?Listen to Ep 159: Sharing the Mental Load.Listen to Ep 147: Sexual Intimacy.Listen to Ep 146: The Dad Episode.Listen to Ep 182: Hobbies.Get a copy of Fair Play by Eve Rodsky.Join The Rare Life newsletter and never miss an update!Fill out our contact form to join upcoming discussion groups!Follow Amanda on Instagram @amanda.griffith.atkins!Follow us on Instagram @the_rare_life!Donate to the podcast or Contact me about sponsoring an episode.Follow the Facebook page.Join the Facebook group Parents of Children with Rare Conditions.And if you love this podcast, please leave us a rating or review in your favorite podcast app!

Text me your thoughts about this epidode ...In this episode I take a deep dive into the connection between intimacy, sexuality, and grief. Joined by holistic trauma therapist Sara Jones, we discuss the intertwining of these profound themes, often associated with Vedic Astrology's 8th and 12th houses. We explore Sara's research, published in “The International Journal of Sexual Health” on therapists working with grief and how it affects their clients' intimate lives. The episode also delves into the importance of rituals, holistic methods, and how Vedic Astrology can support individuals through these life transitions. Join us for an enriching conversation that bridges taboo topics with spiritual growth.·         Connect with Sara Jones at Therapy Lumina to continue this conversation with a holistic approach therapylumina.com/coaching.  ·         Or with me for a Vedic Astrology perspective (Book Vedic Astrology Sessions - Vedic Birth Chart Reading, Written Reports, Video with Fiona Marques — fionamarques.com).  ·         And if you're a spiritual seeker eager to study Vedic Astrology-in-depth with monthly guidance, discover my “Guided Pathway” for The Asheville Vedic Astrology Apprenticeship Program at fionamarques.com/apprenticeship-guidance.Full article: Grief and Sexual Intimacy: Exploring Therapists' Views of Bereaved Clients - https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/19317611.2024.2354815With thanks to António Marques for the Intro/Outro music

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In life, none of us are perfect, we stumble, fall short, and make mistakes. As Christians (Nick and Amy), we believe in the incredible gift of grace through Jesus Christ, who forgives us despite our flaws. But when it comes to our marriages, are we offering that same grace to our spouse? Or are we holding onto disappointments, expecting perfection, and being too hard on offering grace to not only ourselves, but also the one we love most? In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we dive into the power of grace in marriage and why it matters, how it strengthens connection, and how forgiveness can transform our relationships. Discover how showing grace to each other creates deeper emotional safety, trust, and unity with your spouse.DISCLAIMER: We recognize that not all of our audience that listen to the podcast are Christian, but this can be so beneficial to your marriage regardless of your beliefs.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

When your days revolve around medical routines, sleepless nights, and endless caregiving, marriage can start to feel more like project management than partnership. In this episode, Madeline and Alyssa unpack all the ways that marriage is impacted amidst  medical and disability parenting—the disconnection, resentment, and chronic stress that test relationships, and the deepened understanding, teamwork, and shared strength that can come from walking through it together.Whether you think your marriage has struggled, beenstrengthened, or maybe experienced a little bit of both, this episode has something you can relate to.Links:Listen to Ep156: Should I Get a Divorce?Listento Ep 187: Do you Miss Who You Used to Be?Listento Ep 159: Sharing the Mental Load.Listento Ep 147: Sexual Intimacy.Listento Ep 171: Financial Strain.Listento Ep 99: Family Planning.Listento Ep 146: The Dad Episode.Listento Ep 139: In-Home Nursing.Listento Ep 135: Careers.Join The Rare Life newsletter andnever miss an update!Fill out our contact form to joinupcoming discussion groups!Follow us on Instagram @the_rare_life!Donateto the podcast or Contactme about sponsoring an episode.Follow the Facebook page. Join the Facebook group Parents of Children with Rare Conditions.Access the transcript on the website here. And if you love this podcast, please leave usa rating or review in your favorite podcast app

In this episode of The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy uncover the hidden “superpowers” we all wish our spouses had! Not talking about flying or X-ray vision... although we would also love that.Amy recently ran a poll asking husbands and wives what superpowers they secretly wish their spouse could wield in marriage, and the results spot on!Curious what your spouse secretly wishes for in your marriage? Tune in and find out, you might discover a few superpowers you didn't even know you had, or should obtain!If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

In our last episode, we sat down with Monica Tanner to explore the bad marriage advice many of us have been given, advice that can quietly undermine even the strongest relationships. This week, Nick and Amy dive deeper into the topic in The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, sharing more examples of the misguided guidance that couples often hear and the real impact it can have on a marriage.Tune in as Nick and Amy break down the myths, the mistakes, and the bad advice we've all encountered, so you can build a stronger, more authentic connection with your spouse.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

Send us a text & leave your email address if you want a reply!Are you a successful woman who's conquered the boardroom but lost the spark in your bedroom? You're crushing professional goals while your intimate life crumbles. The modern successful woman faces an impossible paradox: society demands she operate in masculine energy all day (achieving, doing, conquering), then magically shift to feminine energy at home (receiving, flowing, being). But nobody taught us how to make this transition. This disconnect isn't a personal failure—it's a systemic issue affecting high-achieving women everywhere. The result? Depleted libido, sexless marriages, chronic burnout, and a nagging feeling that despite external success, something vital is missing. In this episode, intuitive coach, social worker, and author Avalaura Gaither reveals why the same drive that makes you successful at work is sabotaging your sexual empowerment and intimate relationships.THIS EPISODE IS ESSENTIAL IF YOU:Feel exhausted by the demands of being "everything to everyone"Struggle to shift from work mode to intimate connectionHave achieved external success but feel empty insideExperience low libido despite wanting passionate intimacyCarry sexual trauma that impacts current relationshipsWant to access your intuition but don't know howAre ready to break the cycle of martyrdom and burnoutLINKS & RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE CAN BE FOUND HERELAST 10x LONGER. If you suffer from premature ejaculation, you are not alone, master 5 techniques to cure this stressful & embarrassing issue once and for all. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST20. THE VAGINAL ORGASM MASTERCLASS. Discover how to activate the female Gspot, clitoris, & cervical orgasms. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST 20Support the show FREEBIE- Introduction to Tantric Kissing Video and Workbook SxR Website Dr. Willow's Website Leah's Website

Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome your pornography use? Click here to book a free call with Sam to get help to overcome pornography – https://stopporn.info/    Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Episode show notes:   Sexual intimacy is often times badly damaged after discovering a pornography addiction.  There are fears, feelings of inadequacy, triggers, and painful feeling that go along with intimacy as a result of pornography use. In this episode I'll share with you three ways you can improve your intimacy, how to handle triggers, and ways to have conversations together that actually are productive and bring some closure and reassurance.