Human behaviour that is sexually motivated
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In this episode, we dive into a topic that's often whispered about but rarely discussed openly—sexual intimacy aids and the powerful role they can play in relationships. Far from being just “toys,” these tools can help couples communicate better, deepen emotional connection, and reignite passion that may have faded into routine.We explore ten key ways intimacy aids can strengthen partnerships—from boosting confidence and balancing different desire levels, to helping couples explore new sensations together and maintain intimacy as needs change over time. Along the way, we also answer some of the most common (and sometimes awkward) questions couples ask: Are intimacy aids only for couples with problems? How do we bring them up without embarrassment? Do they replace closeness, or can they actually bring us closer?A couple of things that shifted our mindset on intimacy aids were setting two simple boundaries: “Does it bring us closer together?” and “Is it only used together?” Framing it this way helped us see these tools not as replacements for intimacy, but as bridges that deepen connection, playfulness, and trust.Whether you're in a brand-new relationship or decades into one, this conversation is all about breaking taboos, normalizing pleasure, and reminding couples that intimacy should be fun, evolving, and deeply connecting.Check out our great vibrating ring and lubricant we discussed on this episode HERE.Check out this great article "Can Using Sex Toys (intimacy aids) Really Make Your Marriage Happier?"If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!
269. Questions for More Connection and Laughter in Marriage with Casey and Meygan Caston *Disclaimer* This episode contains some mature themes and listener discretion is advised. 2 Corinthians 1:4 NIRV "He comforts us in all our troubles. Now we can comfort others when they are in trouble. We ourselves receive comfort from God." *Transcript Below* Questions and Topics We Cover: Will you share three of the questions from your most recent book, specifically the ones people have told you unlocked the best conversations in their own marriage? You say you're an unlikely couple to help support marriages. Will you share a glimpse of your own backstory? What are a handful of ideas for ways couples can strengthen their connection with one another? Casey and Meygan Caston are the Co-Founders of Marriage365. Casey and Meygan were perfect examples of what not to do in marriage. Three years into marriage, they found themselves having racked up more than $250,000 in debt, fighting constantly, and were ready to call it quits. Despite the 12 failed marriages between their parents, they knew this wasn't the legacy they wanted for themselves or their children. They began reading and educating themselves on how to do marriage the right way. The result of their journey is Marriage365, where they millions of people worldwide through their books, social media, retreats, and their online streaming service, Marriage365. Marriage 365 Website Marriage 365 App Marriage 365 Books Marriage 365 Coaching Thank You to Our Sponsor: WinShape Marriage Sample of Previous Episodes on Sexual Intimacy on The Savvy Sauce: 4 Fostering a Fun, Healthy Sex Life With Your Spouse With Certified Sex Therapist and Author, Dr. Jennifer Konzen 5 Ways to Deepen Your Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Douglas Rosenau 6 Ten Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview with Dr. Michael Sytsma 89 Passion Pursuit with Dr. Juli Slattery 108 Anatomy of an Affair with Dave Carder 135 Healthy Ways for Females to Increase Sexual Enjoyment with Tracey LeGrand 155 Sex in Marriage and Its Positive Effects with Francie Winslow, Part 1 156 Science and Art of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, Part 2 158 Making Love in Marriage with Debra Fileta 165 Mutually Pleasing Sex in Marriage with Gary Thomas 186 Sex Series: Enhancing Female Pleasure and Enjoyment of Sex: An Interview with Dr. Jennifer Degler 218 Secrets of Sex and Marriage: An Interview with Dr. Michael Sytsma Special Patreon Release: Protecting Your Marriage Against Unfaithfulness with Dave Carder 252 Maximizing Sexual Connection as Newlyweds to Long Term Marriages and Recovering from a Sexless Marriage with Dr. Clifford & Joyce Penner Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook, Instagram or Our Website Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast! Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.” Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“ Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“ Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” *Transcript* Music: (0:00 – 0:11) Laura Dugger: (0:12 - 1:15) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here. Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message. I'm thrilled to introduce you to our sponsor, WinShape Marriage. Their weekend marriage retreats will strengthen your marriage while you enjoy the gorgeous setting, delicious food, and quality time with your spouse. To find out more, visit them online at winshapemarriage.org. Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Casey and Meygan. Casey Caston: Thanks for having us. Excited to be here. Laura Dugger: So, thrilled to have both of you, and let's just dive right into one of your sweet spots. How can open-ended questions change a marriage? Casey Caston: (1:16 - 2:33) Yeah, well, if you think about when we first met somebody that we fell in love with, fell attracted to that first date, as you're sitting across the table, you are looking at that person with so much curiosity. Like, who is this person? What are their hopes and their dreams and their life experiences? What are they afraid of? Where are they going in life? And that curiosity drove us to ask really good open-ended questions. Like, tell me more about yourself. It's funny because we were just reading in Proverbs this morning that in a man's heart, he has a purpose, but a man of understanding draws from the deep wells to pull that out. And I just, I always think about how a great question plums the deep wells of a man's heart or woman's heart. And that attraction, that energy we feel, helps us with asking great questions. But then what happens is when we get married and we move into the wash, rinse, repeat of childcare and chores and, you know, the mundaneness of going to work, coming home, dinner, like, it can really sap all of the romance out of a relationship. And so, what happens is we fall into asking really boring questions. Meygan Caston: (2:33 - 2:34) Like, how was your day? Casey Caston: (2:34 - 2:36) What's picking up the kids? Meygan Caston: (2:36 - 2:37) What's for dinner? Yeah. Casey Caston: (2:38 - 3:18) So, we realize that when the well is dry, so to speak, you're not asking those great questions. We need prompts. We need an outside prompt because I don't think naturally we would ask great questions to spark this, you know, connecting conversation. And I will tell you too, that if you just dropped in and, you know, just ask your spouse, like, “Hey, so, tell me some boundaries we need to set up with your parents.” People are going to be like, “Excuse me, where did that question come from? And what's the question behind the question? What's your motivation here?” But those are conversations we need to have. We just need prompts. So, yeah. Laura Dugger: (3:19 - 3:32) Well, I love that response. And I'm also curious after working with so many married couples, what have you seen as that connection between these amazing prompts for open-ended questions and emotional intimacy? Meygan Caston: (3:34 - 4:20) Yeah. Well, kind of like what Casey was mentioning about, um, just that curiosity of getting to know each other. I think the other part of asking those open-ended questions and having these deeper conversations is really about intentionality. Like you still care about me. You still want to know about my heart. Well, for us, 25 years later, I still care about you. I still love you. And I think that of course, as women, we long for that emotional connection. And I don't think that men realize it, but they actually long for that too. And it's creating a safe place for spouses to share, to cry, to even, um, dream together about their future. And I think, again, if we don't give ourselves those opportunities and we're not intentional with that, we get stuck in the mundaneness of marriage. Casey Caston: (4:20 - 5:03) But, uh, and I would add to that, that curiosity, Meygan, I've talked about how curiosity is the pursuit of something. Right. And we all long to be desired to be pursued. I mean, that is, that underlying communication is so powerful in relationships, because if you think about it, if you're not being pursued and your spouse isn't curious, I mean, that's like the, the heart of apathy. It's like, I don't care. And I know that people aren't intentionally trying to communicate that, but when you feel that, like my spouse doesn't really care about what I dream about or what I'm hoping to achieve this year, they just come home and they just watch TV or they're on their phone. Meygan Caston: (5:04 - 5:18) Right. That communicates a lot non-verbally. And so, that's why these open-ended questions are something that we should never stop being a learner of each other and of ourselves. And that will provide that emotional intimacy. Laura Dugger: (5:19 - 5:45) That's so good. And obviously your resources are amazing. I would love, because you have these 365 Connecting Questions for Couples. And so, I want to just hear maybe three of these questions that come to mind for you guys, especially as you've heard, these are the ones that tend to unlock something deeper in the conversation. Meygan Caston: (5:46 - 6:07) Absolutely. So, August 3rd is, are you someone who spends a lot of time in deep thought, processing things before making a decision, or do you tend to make quick decisions? Why or why not? That question has genuinely sparked so much conversation between us and even like with our kids and other couples. Maybe you can explain why. Casey Caston: (6:07 - 6:11) Yeah. Well, I'm Mr. Impulsivity, so. Meygan Caston: (6:11 - 6:29) Yeah, you are. Where I, I don't, I wouldn't consider myself a deep thinker, but I definitely like to make pros and cons lists and think through things. But if you think about a dynamic between a husband and a wife, you know, there are so many decisions that you make together, small and large, your whole life, every day. Casey Caston: (6:29 - 6:30) Decision-making is huge in relationships. Meygan Caston: (6:31 - 6:57) And it's an everyday thing that couples are tackling. And it's important to know that no one is better than the other. It's not that a deep thinker is better than a more impulsive person. It's kind of more just naturally how you are. Have you always been this way? Do you like that about yourself? Wow. You know, well, when it comes to these bigger decisions, I do spend, make more time, you know, thinking through and pros and cons. Oh, well, with small decisions, I'm more impulsive. I mean, you could just talk about that for hours and hours. Casey Caston: (6:57 - 7:01) Yeah. But what's interesting is I tend to think more futuristic and big picture. Meygan Caston: (7:01 - 7:01) Yes. Casey Caston: (7:01 - 7:03) Even though I'm impulsive in the moment. Meygan Caston: (7:03 - 7:05) And I cannot, I can't do that. Casey Caston: (7:05 - 7:06) You are Ms. Realist. Meygan Caston: (7:06 - 7:08) Just tell me today, tell me this week. Casey Caston: (7:09 - 7:10) I can't think about this fun sponge. Meygan Caston: (7:11 - 7:11) Yes. Yeah. Casey Caston: (7:12 - 7:15) Because I'm like, let's dream big. And she's like, yeah, but what's happening today? Meygan Caston: (7:16 - 7:49) Yeah. Yeah. Another great question is January 18th. How can we romance each other during the day in anticipation of sex? Because as we all know, us ladies, we need the foreplay. But again, I think that husbands also enjoy the foreplay. But I don't think that couples are having these conversations. I think they think a foreplay is, well, once we enter into the bedroom, you know, and what we like to say is it's anything positive is foreplay. So, a thoughtful text, you know, a flirty I'm going to grab your hand to empty out the dishwasher. Casey Caston: (7:49 - 7:50) Amen. Meygan Caston: (7:50 - 7:55) Yeah. You know, it's those kinds of conversations. But like, I would never think of asking you that. Casey Caston: (7:56 - 7:56) Right. Meygan Caston: (7:56 - 7:58) Right. Thankfully for those. Casey Caston: (7:58 - 8:10) But as you know, Laura, like couples that need to talk about their sex life. And if you don't talk about your sex life, most oftentimes there's a lot of assumptions. And that leads to, you know, dysfunction. Meygan Caston: (8:11 - 9:14) Well, and missed expectations. Totally. Yeah. And then I have another question. April 25th is how do our differences help complement each other? Oh, so, kind of another one of those things, like with making decisions. Every single couple has differences. And we always tell people Casey, and I are more different than alike. I think people see us online and whatnot. And they hear, oh, we're both extroverts. We are. So, we have some similarities. We're both stubborn, very competitive, both competitive. But in the day-to-day operations of who Casey and Meygan are, we make decisions, we run our lives, run our business, run our business. We are completely opposite. And what I think it's good to do for couples is to actually own your differences rather than shy away from them or make yourselves feel bad, like, oh, I wish we were the same. I get it. You know, we actually are attracted to those things when we're dating. That's why opposites attract. But then when we get married, it's like, why doesn't he do everything the same way? I do it because I do it the right way. That's what we think. Right. Casey Caston: (9:15 - 9:21) Well, you heard the joke that marriage is about becoming one. And in the earlier years, it's about which one. Meygan Caston: (9:21 - 10:14) Yeah. Which one? Which figure out? Yeah. And so, that question really allows you to identify your differences, but then go, how do they balance each other out? And I think for me, as someone who is organized, type A Casey's very spontaneous. If we were both type A and structured, we wouldn't have a lot of fun. We really wouldn't. His spontaneity really brings out that side of me. But if we were both spontaneous, our bills would never be paid, and we'd be broke. So, you know, I'm a I'm a saver. He's a spender. You can see the balance in that. It's good that we're both those things. Right. I'm on time. He's late. We could continue going on and on and on and on. But I think that he's a risk taker. I'm a complete play it safer. And so, those really draw out a beautiful balance in our marriage versus trying to change one another. So, I hope that question sparks listeners to really ask your spouse that and have fun with the conversation. Laura Dugger: (10:15 - 11:03) Well, you chose three great ones. I love it. And they draw out such different parts of our personality. You highlighted where Casey's more futuristic. Meygan, you're more present. Some people will connect with questions that direct them more past oriented. And so, our orientation to time comes out and the meta conversations, the talking like having the conversation about your conversation. Just so much goodness. And yes, especially with sexual intimacy. So, many couples report that it is much harder to engage in conversation about sex rather than just have sex. And like you said, missed expectations can be one of the blow ups there, among many other things. So, you have questions that don't shy away from all forms of intimacy. Meygan Caston: (11:04 - 11:10) Yeah. And to also say we have a lot of fun questions, too. Like, tell me about what your bedroom looked like when you were a teenager. Casey Caston: (11:11 - 11:12) That's a great one. I love that one. Meygan Caston: (11:12 - 11:47) Let's talk couples. If you had a really hard day with the kids or at work, pick a fun question. You don't have to go by the date. If you don't like the question, it's triggering, then flip to the next one. But going back to that emotional intimacy and connection that you were talking about, Laura, is you have to have those deep questions and those conversations. And you did when you were dating, because if you went on a date with your husband and you were like, hey, tell me, you know, what do you want to do when you retire? And he was like, I don't know. Yeah, you'd be like snooze fest. This guy's boring, right? Or if he was on his phone the whole time, there was something intriguing about your spouse. Casey Caston: (11:47 - 11:48) I don't know. I don't know. Meygan Caston: (11:48 - 12:01) Yeah, there was something intriguing about your spouse when you were dating and you were asking those questions that should never stop. Just like we hear that quote, never stop dating your spouse. Well, never stop learning about your spouse. It's the same thing. Absolutely. Laura Dugger: (12:02 - 12:16) And I love how you two have such a humble approach because you say that you're a very unlikely couple to help support marriages. So, will you let us in on your own backstory? Meygan Caston: (12:17 - 12:46) Yeah, well, can I just start off by saying this? We live in a county that has one of the highest divorce rates in the nation. So, it's 72 percent divorce rate where we live. We also come from there's 12 marriages between our parents. So, we come from so much divorce and trauma. And then we also got married very, very, very young. So, all those statistics were against us on top of that. I'm just going to start off by saying that. Casey Caston: (12:46 - 13:18) Yeah, my mom's been married six times. So, when by the time I hit junior high, I had probably like nine different iterations of home life and different dads and step siblings and half brothers. And all of that between both of our parents. There's just there's some mental illness. There's affairs. There's all this trauma that was really unprocessed. But then when Meygan and I saw each other, it was like we knew the wounds that we shared. It was like almost like a trauma bond. Meygan Caston: (13:19 - 13:19) Yeah. Casey Caston: (13:19 - 14:08) Like, oh, I've got abandonment. So, do you. And, you know, let's do it's like, wow. So, let's make each other happy. And dating was just all the fun stuff, right? It was long walks along the beach. It was going to street fairs or, you know, going out and having fun. And then we're like, if this is what life could be like, then we should do this forever and ever and ever. And just, you know, we were so doe eyed of like and optimistic about how marriage life would look like. So, then once we did get married, done, done, done, we had to like work through stuff. Now, I was so conflict avoidant because I was afraid if there was conflict, then that means that there's going to be distance between Meygan and I and she might leave me. Meygan Caston: (14:08 - 14:24) Oh, there's another there's another difference. I'm a fighter. He's a fighter. So, anytime we would have conflict triggers, you know, emotional regulation, I was like, we're going to go for it. Now, of course, my fighting tactics were not healthy. I yelled. I blamed. I was very aggressive, assertive. Casey Caston: (14:24 - 14:37) Conflict was very scary for me. Now. Now, Meygan, she's like wanting to deal with issues. And here I am, like trying to run for the hills. And she's like, he doesn't care about me. And I'm like, I'm trying to protect the marriage by not dealing with it. Meygan Caston: (14:37 - 14:49) So, you never really resolved anything. We would fight really bad. We broke all the fighting rules. And then there was no true resolve, no apologies, no remorse. And you just kind of move forward. Casey Caston: (14:49 - 15:06) And so, then we piled ourselves like we had over two hundred fifty thousand dollars of debt when we started to try to work on getting pregnant. We we dealt with infertility. We I have ADHD, so that creates a lot of that's fun. A lot of fun for the marriage. Meygan Caston: (15:06 - 15:08) The divorce rate is very high with ADHD. Casey Caston: (15:08 - 15:10) My life gets to teach you patience. Meygan Caston: (15:11 - 15:11) Yeah. Casey Caston: (15:12 - 16:44) But and then we have a child with special needs as well. So, we we had like if there's something that could go wrong, it it went wrong. We had you know, once we got married, there was toxic in-laws that boundaries that were crossed. So, it just nothing for us came easy. And so, that's why we were the least likely to succeed in marriage. I mean, if we there was a couple doomed from the get go, it was Meygan and I believe a hundred percent that God used those trials, those hardships to create marriage. Three sixty five. He gave us the strength to, you know, have the courage to say we're not going to follow in our parents footsteps. We're going to change that. You know, it ends with us literally like we are going to change and break this generational sin because it goes back many, many generations for both of us. Our whole family is littered with divorce. And now like when we approach marriage, it because of where we've come from, it wasn't all flowery. It was really tough. We have to be practical and very tactical with our advice, because when you're sitting across from a couple that's angry and resentful. We have to sit there and go, we know what that's like. And here's exactly what you need to do next. I'm not going to give you a platitude. I'm not going to give you some flowery statement or we're not going to just talk through it. No, we're going to give you a tool and an action step that's going to help you. Laura Dugger: (16:46 - 18:56) Let's take a quick break to hear a message from our sponsor. Friends, I'm excited to share with you today's sponsor, WinShape Marriage. Do you feel like you need a weekend away with your spouse and a chance to grow in your relationship together at the same time? WinShape Marriage is a fantastic ministry that provides weekend marriage retreats to help couples grow closer together in every season and stage of life from premarital to parenting to the emptiness phase. There is an opportunity for you. WinShape Marriage is grounded on the belief that the strongest marriages are the ones that are nurtured, even when it seems things are going smoothly so that they're stronger if they do hit a bump along their marital journey. These weekend retreats are hosted within the beautiful refuge of WinShape Retreat, perched in the mountains of Rome, Georgia, which is a short drive from Atlanta, Birmingham and Chattanooga. While you're there, you will be well fed, well nurtured and well cared for. During your time away in this beautiful place, you and your spouse will learn from expert speakers and explore topics related to intimacy, overcoming challenges, improving communication and more. I've stayed on site at WinShape before, and I can attest to their generosity, food and content. You will be so grateful you went to find an experience that's right for you and your spouse. Head to their website, winshapemarriage.org/savvy. That's W-I-N-S-H-A-P-E marriage dot org slash S-A-V-V-Y. Thanks for your sponsorship. I'd love to hear even more into the redemption part of it, because Marriage 365, you had shared before we had recorded that you launched that in 2013. So, just to get the timeline straight, had you already done some work and some counseling before you launched that? Meygan Caston: (18:56 - 19:26) Or what was that journey? Yeah, so, we always say we it took us two years to fall in love and get married. It took us three years to destroy our marriage, and it took about four or five years to repair our marriage. It was, as you know, Laura, it is not a quick fix when your marriage is as bad as ours. And so, our story is unique in the sense where we were both not wanting to get help for our marriage. I love you, babe, but he was resistant. He didn't want to go to therapy. His family didn't go to therapy. That wasn't normalized. Casey Caston: (19:26 - 19:31) Well, my faith background said that therapy is bad from the from the devil. Meygan Caston: (19:31 - 19:38) It was specifically your parents. But from the devil. Yeah, because I have a faith background, too. And my parents went to therapy. But that's what I was saying. Casey Caston: (19:38 - 19:40) My background was that you don't do that. Meygan Caston: (19:40 - 21:16) Yeah. So, I was wanting to get divorced and he wouldn't divorce me. He was like, no. So, if you're going to do it, you got to do it. And so, I got help for myself. And I had the most amazing woman who a therapist who just walked me through basically how to save my marriage by myself. And she goes, listen, you know, at the end of the day, if you want to make a better marriage, it starts by making a better you. You have zero control over Casey. You have 100 percent control over you. He's not here. You are. I can show you how to communicate, how to forgive him even without getting an apology. I can show you how to bring to his defenses down. I can show you how to create boundaries so he doesn't yell at you anymore. I mean, and that's literally for 13 months I worked on myself. And I believe that that is what genuinely changed everything. And that's really the message behind Marriage 365 is if you want to make a better marriage, it starts by making a better you. Stop waiting around for your husband or your wife to get on board. They may never. Then you're only going to build resentment while you sit there and wait. At the end of the day, you're responsible for how you show up. And so, in that 13 months, the hope was, of course, that I would positively influence Casey, which I did. And he saw the change in me. Everything changed. I mean, like we both used to be yellers, right? We would both yell and scream. And I was like, I'm not going to yell anymore. Like, I just I don't want to be a yeller of a mom. I don't want to be a yeller of a wife. Like, I don't like this part of me. My mom was a yeller. I mean, oh, yeah, I hate this. And I just remember like one day he came walking in and he was all heated and frustrated and he started yelling at me. And do you remember what I did, babe? Casey Caston: (21:17 - 21:33) Yeah. She looked at me and calmly said, you know, I can tell that you're very upset. I really want to have to listen to what you want to share with me. Why don't you go outside, take a break, come back in? We're going to sit back on the couch. We can talk about it. I'm here for you. And I was like, what a change. Meygan Caston: (21:33 - 22:07) Who is this person? I changed the way that we did marriage. I did that. And I tell people that I didn't do that once. I didn't do it twice. I did that for months because we had habits we had created. But I was like, that was like a new boundary. I'm like, I'm not going to engage with him when he's angry. It's been triggered. Nothing good is coming from this. So, it was all of that we started to really adopt and learn together because he's like, you're a different person. Like, it was obvious we were doing the tango. And now I was doing the rumba and he was over there doing the tango. And I'm like, come join me in the healthy rumba over here because it's way better. Casey Caston: (22:07 - 22:09) And so, for toxic tango. Meygan Caston: (22:09 - 23:20) Yeah, we went to a marriage. Yeah, we went to a marriage intensive. And we did some therapy. We did a lot of self-help. But through that journey, this is kind of where we started Marriage 365 is. First off, we couldn't afford therapy. We needed to pay off all that debt that we had with a lot of student loan debt, a lot of stupid debt. What do you do if you can't afford therapy? What do you do if you don't have a good therapist? What do you do if you have a bad experience with therapy? What do you do if the books aren't enough? And that was there was a really big hole and missing part in the marriage. I don't say industry, but in the marriage space, where were all the online resources? Because this was back again in like 2010 when like podcasts weren't even around, social media was just becoming a thing. And it was really hard. We were really disappointed with the lack of resources there were for marriage. And it felt like every church you go to, there was, you know, the missions ministry and the children's ministry and the youth groups. And all those are great. Where in the world are all the marriage ministries? Then we found out only 3% of churches have actual paid marriage ministries. And I thought, that's messed up. That's reverse. It's supposed to be the opposite, because then everything else will work itself out, as we know, with what research shows. Casey Caston: (23:20 - 23:21) Same with men's ministry, by the way. Meygan Caston: (23:21 - 23:22) Yes, same with men's ministry. Casey Caston: (23:22 - 23:23) Men's and marriage. Meygan Caston: (23:23 - 23:26) That's like the stepchild. Casey Caston: (23:26 - 23:33) Tech guy slash men's guy slash, you know. Children's persons can also do marriage. Meygan Caston: (23:33 - 23:40) So, we really just started helping our friends out. Obviously, people could see the change. Then people would come to us. We started helping couples at our church. Casey Caston: (23:40 - 23:48) And we had a ghoul pool. Like people were like, we give you guys another like ten months and then we're expecting you. Meygan Caston: (23:48 - 23:51) Yeah, everyone that knew us thought we'd get divorced. Casey Caston: (23:51 - 23:52) We were messy. Meygan Caston: (23:52 - 23:58) We were bad. Yeah. So, to see the complete transformation. And again, I go back to that work we did was on ourselves. Casey Caston: (23:58 - 25:31) And I just have to say that if you want to make a better marriage, it starts by making a better you. If you're hearing that. And you're kind of in a one sided marriage right now, I got to just say, I know that message sucks because it's a message that says you have to go first. And that's not fair. In a marriage, you're supposed to be a team. But I do want to say there's so many couples that are stuck. Waiting for their spouse to join them on the let's get healthy train. So, their spouse doesn't join them. And then what they do is they kind of lean back, fold their arms and go, well, I guess we're stuck. But I want to say that that's there is a message of empowerment to say you do have influence and the ability to steer your marriage in a healthy way. I have lots of regret that I did not join that train much sooner. But the story is that Meygan, you know, became the hero of our journey. And that is something that I work actively so that I'm never in that place again, that I am the one that's always actively trying to improve myself, that I'm a better communicator, that I'm not a yeller, which we've ditched that a long time ago, that that I'm considered of Meygan's needs. And I'm even like attuned to like, what is she feeling? And how do I meet her where she's at? Laura Dugger: (25:32 - 25:54) Which is amazing that watching Meygan, it was compelling enough for you to join in. And it's admirable on both sides, the work that you've done. And are there any specific areas that you grew in that now you teach couples? I'm thinking specifically under conflict and repair or communication. Casey Caston: (25:55 - 27:42) Yeah. So, I remember those early years and every single week was chaos to chaos. Like coming home, it'd be like, what's for dinner? I'm hungry and we need to make a decision now. Or, you know, it's Friday night or Saturday morning. What's going on this weekend? Or where's all our money going? It was very, it was very reactionary. And I remember reading through Stephen Covey's, you know, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. And the first habit is be proactive. You cannot be intentional with your life. You cannot create purpose and meaning unless you are proactive with your life. So, Meygan and I, you know, I'm working in a company and every single week we get together and we go through what are everyone's goals? What do we need to accomplish this week? We find alignment and the week goes really well. We've got KPIs. We've got all these like, hey, as a team, you know, work team, here's what we're trying to accomplish this week. And it just kind of dawned on us like, well, why don't we do that in marriage? Why don't we do that for a family? You got a family of six. You got six people running around the house. All have agendas. And you are trying to find alignment so that, hey, this is what the family is all about this week, right? We've got tournaments. We've got parties. We've got projects. We've got meals. And I think for so many couples we talk to, they live. Life with purpose on like building their career or their business or purpose with other areas of their life. And then when it comes to family, they wing it. Meygan Caston: (27:42 - 27:43) They just wing it. Casey Caston: (27:43 - 28:31) Yeah. And it's like, well, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. It's the winging attitude creates chaos. And so, Meygan and I love to teach this tool called the Weekly Marriage Business Meeting. And it is all of the logistics of our relationship schedules, meal plans, budgets, connection time, sexy time, alone time, self-care time. Yeah. And and we kind of set with intention the week ahead for us. And we go through all the decisions of who's going, what, where, when. And all of that's done. So, when you walk into the day, you're not like stressed about what's supposed to be happening. There is alignment and there's no missed expectations. Meygan Caston: (28:31 - 29:27) Yeah, there's no fights anymore about, well, you said you'd be home at six. No, I didn't. I said I'd be home at seven. We sync our calendars. And I think, too, a big thing with this is we've noticed we fight when we don't do this now. It's one of those tools that it's prevented most of conflict. I mean, we say it will on average for the most couples that use it. We have at least over 10,000 couples we know right now currently using it that are our members that they say it cuts conflict in half in half, because what you're doing is you're even scheduling that connection time or date night time where you're like, no matter how busy we are, when are Casey and Meygan going to get to be Casey and Meygan? And that's so important, because again, if you're winging it and you're just trying to find time to connect, well, you've got four kids, we've got two teenagers. It's never going to happen. Right. And so, the weekly marriage business meeting is definitely one of the amazing and favorite worksheets and tools that we've taught and that we use ourselves because it works. Casey Caston: (29:28 - 29:28) Yeah. Laura Dugger: (29:28 - 29:59) What a game changer. That is awesome and so practical, so intentional, which we're all about. But then also we had talked about emotional intimacy earlier and emotional intimacy is interconnected with sexual intimacy and communication is the root issue. And that's what you teach couples. So, what are some conversations that couples can begin so that they can grow in both of those types of intimacy and enjoyment? Casey Caston: (30:01 - 31:34) Yeah, so, I feel like I have to start off by saying I got this so wrong when we were first married. It's OK. I forgive you now. Yeah, because, you know. Let's just let's be we'll be we'll be completely transparent. So, Meygan and I waited to have sex until we were married. So, now I actually waited till I was married to have sex. And I thought that under that purity guideline, I was promised maybe by a youth group, maybe by a convention, that if you withhold sex and remain pure, God is going to bless you with the best sex life when you're married. And that just simply did not happen. Like when we first got married, I really got went into the bedroom thinking. I don't know what foreplay is, but let's have intercourse until I come and then we're done. And that's sex. That's our sexual intimacy. And we missed out on so many intimate ways of knowing each other and sex being an obligation and something like I just was demanding of it from Meygan. And. What I've come to discover and what I love to teach other men is that sex is so much more broader than just having intercourse. I mean, there was this total understanding like, well, I feel good during intercourse. This feels very stimulating, which means that Meygan must feel the exact same way while we're having intercourse. Meygan Caston: (31:35 - 31:35) Nope. Casey Caston: (31:36 - 32:35) Because that's because listen, I never had sex before. But anytime I watched a rom com, you know, the guy threw up, you know, against the wall or they're having intercourse and she's going and he's going and they're having a great time. Like this must be what sex is all about. And what I've discovered now and I get to teach other men is that emotional intimacy is kind of the birthplace of sexual expression of love, right? That we we create safe places for our wives to to open up. And because of that, they become more willing and wanting that that sexual expression rather than us just coming in and saying, OK, it's time for sex. Let's go. And so, when we talk about just this book, this 365 Connecting Questions for Couples, I tell my guys, I'm like, hey, if you want to have great sex, start here because that is foreplay. Meygan Caston: (32:35 - 33:48) That's start here. It's good to know my heart, not just use me for my body, which can feel like that for a lot of people. And I think going back to the emotional intimacy, I think that, again, you had that when you were dating or you wouldn't have gotten married. There was no way you were. If the person was boring, closed off, if, you know, your spouse was just completely on their phone every time, you wouldn't have had that second, third, fourth date. So, there was emotional intimacy at some point, which means you can't ever say we never had it. You can always get it back, but you can have to be intentional. And I think a great way is we call it connection time. I think date night scares a lot of people. I think it's the idea of. We have to go to a restaurant, we have to spend money, we have to find a babysitter, all these hurdles that you have to go through to make it happen, so then couples just don't even do it. So, we're like, listen, if you if that's overwhelming to you, then try connection time. And really what that is, it's still undivided, you know, attention and time with you and your spouse. Maybe it's smaller, maybe it's 15 minutes, 30 minutes. And I know for when our kids were little, we played board games and card games and they'd go to bed, you know, at 7:30 or 8:00 PM. And we would bring out Yahtzee. Casey Caston: (33:48 - 33:51) There'd be a lot of trash talking over chutes and ladders. Meygan Caston: (33:52 - 34:29) But we would play. We would play games. And it was our time to connect. And when we didn't talk about the kids, you know, we just chatted about our day and again, going through some of these connecting questions that didn't even really exist yet, but they were in our heads. Taking a walk with the dog and, you know, going to a little local coffee shop, even if it's just 30 minutes and sharing and talking and exploring that emotional intimacy should never stop again. And that's going to give people opportunities to then go into the bedroom, like Casey mentioned, more willing and more excited to be intimate to each other because it's like, oh, that's right. We like each other. We're still married. We're still friends. Casey Caston: (34:29 - 35:15) You bring up a great point. Like I said, I think sitting down over the table, staring at each other can be intimidating for a lot of guys, because especially if this is not a regular habit in your relationship and taking a walk for guys when we're doing something and maybe it's less intimidating because we're not even staring at each other. But that kind of like getting the, you know, oxytocin going, like getting moving, like that kind of adrenaline can actually stimulate guys for good conversations and processing things. And so, what we hear from a lot of couples that take our book, maybe they'll take a picture of the question and they'll go, Hey, let's take a walk. And then they'll use the question on their walk. Meygan Caston: (35:15 - 35:15) Yeah. Casey Caston: (35:15 - 35:24) And that gets conversations going. So, if that's like a on ramp onto this, that's a that's a great starting point for a lot of people. Laura Dugger: (35:24 - 36:48) Oh, that's so good. And I love how you say just an on ramp, because the goal is more intimacy overall together to know one another, be known. And I love that you're showing this is not a manipulation factor. This isn't ask these questions so we can be more active in the bedroom, regardless of whichever spouse is the higher desire one. But this is to really enhance all levels of your relationship. And as you talk about oxytocin, it just makes me think such an interesting cycle that the Lord created where I will speak more stereotypically that where women require the emotional connection and then they open up and enjoy sex more. But then men, once they've had sex and they just have this like 500 percent increase of oxytocin in this neurochemical bath that opens them up emotionally. And we could see it even as we view our differences. You could be upset because they're opposite or we can see it as a gift that they can fuel one another. And then we get more of a holistic picture of overall intimacy. So, I'll also link to quite a few episodes because we do about one per month where we dive deeper into sexual intimacy. S o, I can link all of those in the show notes. But Casey, were you going to say something? Meygan Caston: (36:49 - 36:50) I want to say something to it. Casey Caston: (36:51 - 37:16) He loves. Well, so, we're talking chicken and egg, right? Like who gets the emotional intimacy, who gets the physical intimacy first? And I just think that there's if we approach our relationship with selfishness, well, then neither people get satisfied. But if we are in an approach to serve one another and be selfless lovers. So, men would be like, you know what? I want to meet my wife's emotional needs. Meygan Caston: (37:16 - 37:16) Yeah. Casey Caston: (37:17 - 37:38) Like and I do believe that men are the spark of initiation. If you're a husband out there listening to this, like that one of your greatest gifts to marriage is initiation. You were the one who asked for the first date. You were the one who got down one the knee. You are the spark of initiation. And I believe that God's created women as nurturers of that initiation. Meygan Caston: (37:39 - 37:41) And to clarify, you're not talking just about initiating sex. Casey Caston: (37:41 - 37:43) Well, yes. Just everything. Meygan Caston: (37:43 - 37:55) Initiating, just initiating, initiating a weekly marriage business meeting. Women are so turned on by when a husband's like, hey, I don't necessarily know what we want to do for a date night, but I want to take you on a date. Can I get an amen, Laura? Laura Dugger: (37:55 - 37:56) Right, sister? Meygan Caston: (37:57 - 38:14) Hey, women are turned on. Listen, men, women are turned on. If you say, you know what? I know that like this has been an issue with my parents and I don't even know how to handle it, but I really want to have that conversation. Oh, my gosh. Just initiating the conversation is all we're looking for. It's OK that you don't have all the answers. Casey Caston: (38:14 - 38:14) Yeah. Meygan Caston: (38:14 - 38:23) But for men that avoid stonewall, escape, numb out, busy themselves, it is such a turnoff. It is so not what we want. Laura Dugger: (38:23 - 39:55) I want to make sure that you're up to date with our latest news. We have a new website. You can visit theSavvySauce.com and see all of the latest updates. You may remember Francie Heinrichsen from episode 132, where we talked about pursuing our God given dreams. She is the amazing businesswoman who has carefully designed a brand-new website for Savvy Sauce Charities. And we are thrilled with the final product. So, I hope you check it out there. You're going to find all of our podcasts now with show notes and transcriptions listed a scrapbook of various previous guests and an easy place to join our email list to receive monthly encouragement and questions to ask your loved ones so that you can have your own practical chats for intentional living. You will also be able to access our donation button or our mailing address for sending checks that are tax deductible so that you can support the work of Savvy Sauce Charities and help us continue to reach the nation with the good news of Jesus Christ. So, make sure you visit theSavvySauce.com. Okay, so, then continue the conversation with just overall intimacy. What are some examples of de-escalation techniques that you recommend to couples who are in conflict, ones that can maybe help the strained relationships so that they can be repaired? Yeah. Meygan Caston: (39:55 - 42:19) Yeah. So, a big thing that I've learned as someone who's very direct, I can tend to be on that, like I mentioned, fighter side. And I know a lot of women, studies have shown 75 percent of us ladies are the ones that typically bring up the issues. So, just be aware that there is a gender difference there. And if you're a dude, there's nothing wrong with you if you're in, you know, that 75 percent or 25 percent. But I think the biggest thing I've recognized is to remind your spouse in the very beginning of the conversation, why you're having the conversation. You know, I love you. I love us. I want to see us be the best people that we can be. I want to see us enjoy marriage and enjoy life. I love you. Like bring the positivity and the reminder that you're better together than apart. And really, that's part of what we call a soft startup, right? There's a lot of different soft startups you've heard of. You know, I feel when you I need those work to but I like to take it a little bit deeper to say, remind your spouse how much that you love being married to them. Or again, whatever the issue is like we have the most. Let's say it's parenting. Casey and I are very different in our parenting styles. Last night would have been a great difference of how that happened. But like reminder that like we both love our children. We both want the best for our kids. No one doubts that. We both have made we made two beautiful, wonderful, quirky children. Right. And so, even you can start the conversation with that. But I wish that more people did that because I think people are are, you know, I'm really upset about something. OK, well, the second you say that defenses, sorry, but defenses are going to go up. We want to keep the conversations defenses low, guards low, right, de-escalation. And so, use soft startups, use kind, positive language. But I think another thing behind that would be come to the conversation processed. Do not have these conversations 11 o'clock at night when you're tired or when you're hungry. Do not have these conversations when it just happened and you haven't had the time to just like stop. Think about what do I really need? Why did that trigger me? What am I hoping to achieve? Why is my husband acting this way? Oh, is he under a lot of stress? Yeah, we got to give ourselves time to sit and process before we even use those soft startups. So, that would be my advice for de-escalation. Casey Caston: (42:20 - 43:04) And mine actually would be an apology. I think that we all make mistakes. And when you think about a couple that's maybe living reactively, just winging it, I doubt that there's ever an apology that's given on either side because it takes a little it takes awareness to recognize, gosh, you know what? My that little comment I just made that probably had a little zing to it. Or, you know, I really let my spouse down by not parenting the children the way she would want me to. Or, you know, I said I was going to do something and I didn't. And I let my partner down. You want to de-escalate a tense situation. Apologize. Meygan Caston: (43:04 - 43:04) Yeah. Own it. Casey Caston: (43:05 - 43:12) When you apologize, you know, you're taking all of the heat out of the fire. They really are. Meygan Caston: (43:12 - 43:16) And you're validating your spouse's feelings. Who doesn't want to be validated and seen? Everybody does. Casey Caston: (43:16 - 43:38) And then you're taking responsibility and accountability for your actions, which is the trust builder for relationships. So, that's why when you talk about high conflict relationships, there aren't a lot of there's not a lot of trust there. It's not a safe place anymore. So, to create that safety, we want to we want to build trust back into the relationship. Laura Dugger: (43:39 - 43:50) Those are fantastic. And do you guys just have maybe a handful of ideas for ways that couples can strengthen their marriage with one another? Meygan Caston: (43:51 - 44:09) Absolutely. I would say, obviously, the weekly marriage business meeting. I mean, I know we talked about it, but the important thing is to schedule it, put it in the calendar because you don't want to wing it. And that way it's showing, oh, you're prioritizing us. Taking walks has been a big one for us. Playing games is a big one. Casey Caston: (44:09 - 45:18) The 60 second blessing is where we intentionally spend time. 60 seconds reminding our partner of how much we love them, using our words to say, like, I saw how hard you work for the family. I love how you take care of the kids and kind of reminding your partner, like I see the goodness in each other. I think it's really important because. Day to day life, we can just be very transactional, and if we again, we have any sort of criticism or, you know, our words just are not flavored with life, well, proverb says, you know, our words have the power to give life or to give death. Right. So, the words that we speak, if we evaluate. Are we producing what I call weed seeds? Or are we planting fruit trees? Because weed seeds choke out the garden. Those sharp, critical words can leave your garden looking pretty shabby, whereas being intentional by speaking positive over each other. It's like planting fruit trees. And who doesn't like a good, juicy orange? Right. Meygan Caston: (45:18 - 47:15) Well, and the 60 second blessing, you know, you start off by writing five to seven positive things you love about your spouse. And so, one spouse shares their list for 60 seconds and then the second spouse shares their list. And it's this habit that we actually started doing after our marriage intensive that we did as we were repairing our marriage because we had yeah, we had we had spoken such mean and harsh words or just a lot of roommate stuff. And we needed that positivity. And it's a great foreplay tip, by the way, just to sit, sometimes sit down and go, I just need to tell you how wonderful you are. Like, who doesn't want to hear that about themselves? I think another thing that Casey and I have recognized it is the only thing, by the way, Laura, in our marriage, the only thing that has ever stayed consistent. That's we have fun together. We laugh a lot, even in hard times. Yeah, it wasn't as enjoyable, but we still had fun. And, you know, again, fun is different for everybody. We don't ever want to judge someone else's fun. But we are constantly like we we are sarcastic. But that's for us because we have high trust levels. I usually tell couples if you're, you know, in a fair recovery or you have low trust levels, sarcasm is probably not great. But we're very playful. We have again, we play a lot of fun games and we play ping pong and cornhole and we take our dogs on our dog on a walk. And we, you know, we're going to try to go ax throwing in April. We've never done that before. Like there are fun that we've taken dance lessons. So, we like to think out of the box and do new things or things that we know that like how many games of Yahtzee have we played? I don't even know. I mean, we've lost count. Or gin rummy, you know, I mean, we just play Sequence or Rummikub like we play them all. And for that for us, that's really fun. We dance a lot. We love the 90's music. Like get out your favorite playlist and just dance and sing and be goofy. Like I think if couples were to laugh and enjoy each other more and be able to laugh with themselves, I think that there would be more marriages that would stay together. Laura Dugger: (47:16 - 47:39) That is something that I've even experienced in this time together. You guys are so fun to be around. And that's very life giving to others. But I can see where it starts in that secret place between just the two of you, your best friend. And you share a lot of this goodness with Marriage 365. So, can you let us know all the different things that you have to offer? Casey Caston: (47:40 - 48:48) Yeah, I would probably say the number one way that people experience all of the resources that we've created over the years is through our mobile app. So, we have an app that has over a thousand pieces of videos, workshop, worksheet, excuse me, courses, challenges. We even have a checkup so you can actually rate kind of your marriage. And that is a great way for people to be able to have access, you know, on the spot if they're dealing with an issue, they don't know how to get through and they're looking for a tool or a conversation to help them work through that. That our app provides such a valuable resource. I mean, beyond that, you know, some couples need a little bit more hands on approach. So, we do coaching. We have a coaching staff actually to handle all the incoming couples that are saying, hey, can you can you help us out? And again, I just want to say coaching is really, really focused on giving action plans and homework and accountability to our clients. And coaching is really, really helpful if you're like, I just need to know what to do next. Meygan Caston: (48:48 - 49:17) Yeah. We do intensives for couples that are in crisis, you know, there that are seriously considering separation or divorce or an affair recovery and that we have an over 90 percent success rate because we went through an intensive when we were struggling and it was something we knew we wanted to get trained on and do. And it's a full two days with Casey and I. I mean, two days back-to-back. We know you. We get Christmas cards from all of our couples, you know, every year. We love it. And it's they become almost I mean, yes, they're our clients, but they almost become like our friends. Casey Caston: (49:17 - 49:45) Yeah. And then probably personally, one of my favorite things that we do is we host our own couple's getaway. And this is a four-day experience. It's not your it's not like a typical retreat where you're sitting in a conference room, you're just getting lectured all day. We're actually facilitating tools and then giving couples opportunities to work on them. Then some free time to really spend some time making great memories. We have a dance party. It is a ton of fun. Meygan Caston: (49:45 - 49:55) We make sure. Yeah, we make sure it's fun. It's more it's definitely more for couples who are doing OK or want to do better, not they're not ideal for couples in crisis because it's going to be very uncomfortable. Casey Caston: (49:55 - 49:56) I love our retreats. Meygan Caston: (49:56 - 49:57) I know. Casey Caston: (49:57 - 49:58) I love interacting with her. Meygan Caston: (49:58 - 50:05) And of course, we have our social media. You can just search Marriage 365 and then we have our website, too. And we have our books, of course. Casey Caston: (50:05 - 50:09) Oh, and I have a men's group. I know I launched a five-week men's reset. . Meygan Caston: (50:09 - 50:34) Needless to say, Laura, we're really busy. I do a lot. I think that's what's funny, right? I think that people see us online and they think that we just have an Instagram, or we just have Facebook. And I'm like, we've been doing this for 12 years and we have a staff of 12 people. So, we reach a lot of people. And we because marriage is never a one stop, you know, one size fits all. It's it's true. There are so many different dynamics, and we want to be able to help as many people as we can. Laura Dugger: (50:35 - 50:59) Wow. Thank you for sharing that. We will add all of those links. I love all these different offerings that you have and that will meet people in whatever phase they're in. But you two already know we are called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for both of you, what is your Savvy Sauce? Meygan Caston: (51:00 - 51:47) Mine would be I would want every single person to think about becoming more confident. And that starts with becoming more self-aware. I think that that is completely changed who I am. And I'm we're raising two kids, and I see the confidence that they have. And we're modeling that but also walking them through how to be self-aware. And really, that starts with having to be one with your thoughts, turning off the phone, sorry, turning off the podcast, sometimes turning off the music and just actually sitting and really going. Do I really know my thoughts, my feelings, my values, my personality, my good, my bad, my ugly? And we don't do this enough. We are busy ourselves. We're distracted constantly. And I think that it's really harming our mental health. And so, that would be my savvy sauce. Casey Caston: (51:47 - 52:30) Hmm. I love that, babe. It's kind of hard because we find so much alignment. I mean, I would that's exactly what I would say, too. Um, I, you know, my focus in twenty, twenty-five has really been turned towards helping husbands. And there's a quote that Henry David Thoreau says that many men live lives of quiet desperation and they die with their songs still inside them. And most guys are terrified of stopping and evaluating. And so, for me, creating space too. Listen, I do a 10, 10, 10 practice in the morning. Meygan Caston: (52:30 - 52:32) That's what I thought you were going to say. Casey Caston: (52:32 - 52:32) Yeah, yeah. Meygan Caston: (52:32 - 52:36) Well, I was like, I bet you he's going to talk about it because it's been life changing for you. Casey Caston: (52:36 - 53:01) Yeah. So, I spend 10 minutes of scripture reading. So, that's input. Then I spend 10 minutes of quiet meditation where I'm sitting and I'm in a listening posture. And I mean, I think about everything from lasagna to the last wave I serve to. But there's intentionality about just opening myself like here I am. I'm ready to be downloaded on like what you have for me today. Meygan Caston: (53:01 - 53:02) God be one with your thoughts. Casey Caston: (53:03 - 53:18) Yeah. And all sorts of things come up. And then I spent 10 minutes journaling. And that process is just and that's like the output. Right. So, now I've got input. I've been listening and now I get to write stuff out. And that's been a huge game changer for me. Laura Dugger: (53:19 - 53:43) Wow, I love both of those. You two are just refreshingly vulnerable and such an incredible mixture of intentional and lighthearted. And it has been so great just to sit under your teaching today. So, thank you for sharing your story and for helping all of us. And thank you just for being my guests. Meygan Caston: (53:43 - 53:45) Oh, you're welcome. It was a pleasure to be here. Casey Caston: (53:45 - 53:49) Yes, you asked great questions that plumb the deep wells of Casey Meygan. Laura Dugger: (53:52 - 57:35) One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there is absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior. But God loved us so much, he made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him. That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus.
When most people think about sexual libido, the first thought often goes straight to the physical aspect of things such as “Why doesn't my spouse have any sex drive?” or “Something must be wrong with them physically.” But what if a spouses desire to be sexual (libido) really isn't physical, but is tied to how they feel emotionally connected?In this episode of The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy dive into the surprising reality that libido is not just about the physical desire, it's more about being mentally and emotionally connected. They explore what really influences sexual desire in marriage, the misconceptions couples often have, and why understanding these underlying factors can completely shift the way you approach intimacy with your spouse.You'll learn:Why libido is is actually tied to how they feel emotionally, or the emotional connection.The mental and emotional factors that play a huge role in desireHow stress, connection, and relationship dynamics can impact intimacyWays to better understand your spouse's needs and strengthen closenessIf you've ever wondered why your sex drive, or your spouse's sexual desire doesn't look the way you expect, this episode will give you clarity, encouragement, and practical insights to build a stronger, more connected marriage.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!
In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we (Nick and Amy) dive into a common concern we hear from many husbands: “Intimate Time Feels Like a Moving Target!"For some couples, intimacy seems to come with a long checklist such as chores finished, the house spotless, kids taken care of, emotional connection felt, and the right mood set... before intimate time is even an option. While those things can all be important, they can also leave one spouse feeling rejected, frustrated, or like intimacy is always out of reach.We unpack why these expectations often develop, how they impact both spouses differently, and what couples can do to find a healthier balance. You'll hear honest conversations about:Why the “checklist mentality” can create distance instead of connectionPractical ways to lower unrealistic expectations while still honoring emotional and relational needsHow to create an environment where both spouses feel valued and desiredWhether you've felt like intimacy is always “just out of reach” or you're the one needing certain things in place before feeling ready, this episode will give you insight, encouragement, and tools to bring more connection and fulfillment into your marriage.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!
This episode is intended for couples in a healthy relationship who are looking to create better sexual balance in their marriage.Sexual intimacy is a very important aspect of a healthy and thriving marriage. However, many if not most couples find themselves in a dynamic where one spouse has a higher sex drive than the other. This is completely normal, as no two people have the exact same libido.The problem arises when (in a healthy marriage) the lower-desire spouse, often unintentionally, takes control over the couple's sex life by determining "if" and "when" intimacy happens. This imbalance can lead to frustration, resentment, and emotional disconnection. The key to overcoming this challenge is understanding the dynamics at play and working together to find a balance that satisfies both spouses.If this is what it feels like in your marriage, you are not alone!A study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy found that 80% of couples report having mismatched sex drives at some point in their relationship.According to the Kinsey Institute, 60–80% of married individuals say they wish their spouse wanted sex more often.A survey from the Marriage Foundation discovered that couples who have sex at least once a week are three times more likely to report being “very happy” in their marriage compared to those who have sex less frequently.A report in Archives of Sexual Behavior noted that lack of sexual intimacy is one of the top reasons for marital dissatisfaction and divorce. In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we are joined by Austin Ellis, a licensed sex therapist, who addresses one of the most common issues in marriage: finding sexual balance when you and your spouse have completely different sex drives, and how to create a balance that works for both of you.We asked Austin a few questions in this episode:What if a spouse wants it daily and the other spouse wants it monthly?What do you do if you cannot find a balance? Is sex really a need in marriage?What does healthy rejection look like? Join us for this incredible episode, where you'll not only understand why this happens but, more importantly, learn how to find a balance that you can both be happy with, so you can enjoy a thriving marriage. This might be the most important episode that completely changes your marriage!If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!
One of the most common things we hear from couples is that their marriage isn't fun, flirty or passionate anymore, and that they just feel like roommates. Marriage doesn't have to be all serious, it CAN be fun, flirty, and full of laughter! In this episode of The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we explore how playfulness and connection can deepen your intimacy and strengthen your marriage.We're joined by Elaine (LMFT) and Abe Romero, experts in relationships and marriages, who share practical tips on how to flirt, laugh, and truly connect with your spouse, even in the midst of life's chaos. From playful communication to reigniting chemistry, this conversation is packed with actionable advice to bring joy, fun, and closeness back into your relationship.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!
Teaching on Song of Solomon (Song of Songs) 4:1-5:1
Many of us grew up learning about sex through a worldly lens, leaving us with feelings of guilt, shame, or discomfort around sexual intimacy. But the truth is: sex is a beautiful, natural expression of connection. It's a way for couples to be truly vulnerable with one another, like no other relationship allows.In this episode of The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we dive into the powerful truth that you can be both spiritual and sexual, and that the two are deeply intertwined. Couples who embrace their sexual connection often experience a profound spiritual bond, creating intimacy that transcends the physical.We're joined by world-renowned marriage coaches and instructors, Greg and Julie Gorman of Married For A Purpose. Many of you may know them as the incredible facilitators from our Intimacy and Adventure Retreats. Together, we explore how to nurture your sexual and spiritual connection, overcome shame, and create the most fulfilling intimacy of your life.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!
Your first thought may be "what mistakes could happen after making love?"What happens after sexual intimacy can be just as important as the intimate moment itself. Yet many couples unknowingly make mistakes that can lead to disconnection, hurt feelings, or missed opportunities for deeper connection.In this episode, Nick and Amy share the six most common mistakes couples make after being intimate and the reasons why. You'll learn how to turn those tender post intimacy moments into a time of connection, reassurance, and closeness.If you want to strengthen your relationship and make every intimate moment count, this is an episode you won't want to miss.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!
What if the very questions you've been afraid to ask about sex… are actually the ones that could open the door to deeper connection, healing, and understanding? This week's episode wraps up the Let's Talk About Sex in Marriage series with something powerful:
In this episode of Amplified Marriage, we dive straight into one of those topics that too many couples avoid: sex. Yep, we're talking about sexual intimacy in marriage. The myths, awkward expectations, and struggles that almost every couple encounters.We look at how culture, the church, and even rom-coms have shaped the way people think about sex, often loading it with shame, guilt, or impossible standards. The truth is, God designed sex to be good, holy, and worth fighting for. This conversation is about resetting the story and living out that truth in marriage.We pull apart some of the big myths, like “follow all the rules and your wedding night will be magical” or “sex is only for men's pleasure.” We get honest about why those lies don't hold up and why honest, ongoing conversations with your spouse matter so much. Silence doesn't build intimacy—honesty does.This episode is raw, practical, and full of encouragement for couples who want more than just going through the motions. We're inviting you to laugh, learn, and maybe squirm a little as we remind you that intimacy is God's gift—and it's meant to be enjoyed.Key Takeaways:Balance expectations with reality. Marriage comes with myths about sex that need to be unlearned if you want fulfillment.Talk about it. Honest conversations about what works, what doesn't, and what you want build intimacy.It's not just physical. Sex is a spiritual and emotional connection designed to unify and bring joy.Bust the myths. Lies like “sex is just for men” keep couples stuck—truth sets them free.Redemption is real. No matter your past, God's design makes a thriving, joy-filled sex life possible.Send us a textSupport the showSUBSCRIBELIKE & SHAREWe want to hear from you. Stay connected to Amplified MarriageWebsiteInstagramFacebook
August 17, 2025 Proverbs 5:15-23
Why dedicate an entire episode to kissing? Because this simple, sweet act is packed with incredible benefits for your relationship and your health!Did you know that kissing can burn calories, strengthen your immune system, and even boost your mood by reducing depression? Plus, research shows couples who kiss often tend to enjoy stronger, more connected marriages.In this fun episode, Nick and Amy share fascinating facts you've probably never heard before, along with tips for making kissing a more intentional and meaningful part of your relationship.Tune in, because you'll never look at a kiss the same way again!If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!
Have you ever wanted to get inside the mind of your man–just for a day? Now's your chance! Juli and Hannah sit down with pastor and author Chip Ingram to find out what husbands wish their wives knew about sex. From why men fear rejection more than they let on, to how wives misunderstand their husbands' need for connection, this conversation is filled with eye-opening insight and practical wisdom. Guest: Chip Ingram, Co-host: Hannah Nitz Follow us in your favorite podcast app. Join an online book study today! Resources: God, Sex, and Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery Blog: Struggling with Sexual Intimacy? You Might Need a “Sex Break” Blog: Are You Entitled to “Good” Sex in Marriage? Blog: 5 Healthy Ways to Respond to Your Husband's Porn Problem Q&A: What Should I Do If I Discover My Spouse Is Looking at Porn? Q&A: Does My Spouse Watch Porn Because of Me? Find more resources at www.authenticintimacy.com Follow us on social media at @authenticintimacy Follow Chip Ingram at @chip_ingram
We often hear about how a lack of intimacy affects men, but what about the women? What happens when he's the one with little to no sexual desire? Or if a wife is withholding or doesn't want sexual intimacy? Either scenario, the negative impacts are the same.A man's healthy sex drive often fuels romance, emotional connection, and the drive to pursue and cherish his wife. But when that is missing, it can leave a woman feeling undesired, disconnected, and confused.In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we dive deep into the emotional toll and relationship challenges women face when intimacy fades on his side of the marriage bed. You won't want to miss this raw and powerful conversation that's rarely talked about, but desperately needs to be.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!
This might just be one of our most powerful and influential episodes we have ever done packed with insight, wisdom, and practical tools that apply to every marriage, no matter where you are in your relationship journey.In this episode, Nick and Amy interview Tamara Fackrell, a divorce attorney, author, and PhD in Marriage & Family Relationships. Yes, you read that right! A divorce attorney who's passionately working to help couples stay together and thrive.Tamara shares transformative strategies for resolving conflict in marriage. These steps are clear, easy to apply, and designed to bring lasting peace and deeper connection to your relationship. Whether you're facing frequent tension or just looking to strengthen an already solid foundation, this episode is full of tools that can change the trajectory of your marriage fast.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.This episode was recorded in 2022 and reposted. Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!
Have you ever loved your spouse deeply but felt your body shut down when they reached for you?Maybe you've wondered…“Why don't I want sex the way I used to?”“Why does my mind feel so distracted—or even resistant—when I want to feel close?”If that's you, I want you to take a deep breath and hear this:
Hello everyone! This week's episode is such a good one and I cannot wait for you to hear it. I'm finally back with a solo episode and we are talking all about non sexual touch. Think cozy cuddles, lingering hugs, playful connection, and intimacy without pressure.In this episode:Why non sexual touch matters more than we thinkHow intimacy without expectation builds real connectionWhat the bristle effect is and why it shows upHow pressure to perform can block physical closenessSome easy ways to talk to your partner about thisA peek at the downloadable resource with different types of intimacy date ideasA reminder that this is about connection not perfectionThank you so much for listening! Don't forget to share on your social media and tag me if you loved this episode! And tag me if you try any of these Intimacy dates, I'd love to see what you do!ResourcesIntimacy Date IdeasSupport the showConnect with Rachel!Instagram: @The_Rachel_MaineWebsite: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertiseYouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelfFacebook: Rachel MaineEmail: therachelmaine@gmail.com
There was a season in my marriage when we were having sex… but something still felt painfully off.We weren't fighting. We were doing the “right” things.But emotionally, we were disconnected — and I felt it most clearly in the bedroom.We were going through the motions — like fast food intimacy.It gave us temporary relief but left us hungry for something deeper.Maybe you know what that feels like…Maybe sex has become a routine task you check off the list.Or maybe it's been so long, you don't even know where to begin.Maybe you're wondering: Is something wrong with me… with us?You're not alone — and nothing is wrong with you.AND something different is possible.In this week's episode of AwakenYou in Your Marriage, I talk about:Why sex can become a substitute for emotional connection — and how to tell the differenceHow to shift from “performance” to presenceWhat I did in my own marriage to stop blaming and start healingWhy foreplay starts right after sex ends (this insight is a game changer!)And a powerful visualization to help you reconnect with what your heart really wantsIf sex has become disconnected, distant, or just not what you hoped it would be, I invite you to listen in.You are not broken. You're just human. And your desire for meaningful connection is not too much — it's holy ground. Let's honor it.CBS News Interview: 6 Tips For A Healthy & Loving RelationshipUnlock deeper connection in your marriage with my free guide, Daily Prompts for Deeper Connection with Your Spouse—get it now! Start feeling more connected and loved in your marriage today with my free Reclaim More Love in Just 3 Days process. This process will have you learning how to shift your focus, in a healthy way, and nurture thoughts that build connection and transform how you feel about your marriage. More resources and how you can start the process of Awakening(YourTrue)You and being the partner who creates your best version of what marriage looks like for you: https://christinebongiovanni.com/Join my AwakenYou newsletter for weekly marriage tips and early announcements of upcoming offerings.Book your free Courageous Love Conversation here.InstagramFac...
In this conversation, Paul shares his transformative journey from being an angry atheist to embracing Christianity and redefining masculinity through his brand, Manifesto. He discusses the impact of relationships, the importance of celibacy in spiritual awakening, and the necessity of accountability among men. Paul emphasizes the significance of tradition in understanding masculinity and the role of men in society today. He also explores the dynamics of sexuality within marriage and the need for supportive communities for men. Want to know more about Paul's work? Maniphesto's website Know more about Sathiya's work: JOIN DEEP CLEAN INNER CIRCLE Got a Question? Submit It Anonymously Through This Form Get A Free Copy of The Last Relapse, A Blueprint For Recovery Watch Sathiya on Youtube For More Content Like This Chapters: (00:00) Paul's Journey from Atheism to Faith (03:04) The Impact of Relationships and Pornography (05:58) The Spiritual Search and Awakening (08:49) Understanding Masculinity and Relationships (11:53) The Role of Eastern Orthodoxy in Paul's Life (14:39) The Transformation of Relationships and Family Life (17:31) Finding Purpose and Community in Faith (30:37) The Essence of Orthodox Worship (33:24) Transforming Men's Ministry: A Radical Shift (36:21) The Need for Male Accountability (40:52) Navigating Modern Masculinity (43:20) The Significance of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage (52:05) Reviving Tradition: The Path of Manliness
Are you and your partner truly able to communicate your needs, desires, and boundaries around sexual intimacy without fear of judgment?Do past experiences, trauma, or upbringing impact the way you connect sexually with your partner?How can couples bridge the gap when one partner is satisfied with the frequency of intimacy and the other is not?In this transformative episode of Relationship Renovation, hosts Tarah and EJ Kerwin introduce listeners to their brand-new Relationship Renovation Sexual Intimacy Inventory—a powerful tool designed to spark open, honest, and non-triggering conversations about sexual intimacy. As Tarah and EJ model the inventory in real-time, they share personal insights, explore vulnerable topics such as emotional safety, sexual satisfaction, communication challenges, and the impact of trauma and upbringing on their intimate connection. This episode offers you concrete questions and strategies to bring more connection, understanding, and growth to your own relationship, whether you're struggling with mismatched desire, communication hurdles, or want to deepen your bond.Tune in to discover how Tarah and EJ have cultivated emotional safety and acceptance while navigating differences in their sexual relationship—and learn how you can apply these best practices to your own partnership. With practical tips, honest dialogue, and a free downloadable worksheet, this episode will help you move past avoidance, negotiate your needs, and foster an intimate, resilient, and satisfying partnership. Don't miss out on this invaluable conversation that will motivate, inspire, and equip you to renovate your sexual intimacy together!Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
In this really fun episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we're turning up the heat on your typical date night with some spicy game ideas for couples, and the best part? You probably already own everything you need!This is one of our favorite things to do, because after all, the Ultimate Intimacy App bedroom game was developed because of one of the games we were playing to spice things up!Think you need to buy fancy products or plan a big night out to connect intimately with your spouse? Think again. We're sharing our favorite creative and playful ways to turn common household and classic games into something that sparks laughter, connection, and major chemistry.From intimate twists on card games, dice games, and even things like truth or dare, and Jenga, we'll show you how to reimagine game night as something that brings both fun and fire into your relationship.
You deserve a fulfilling sex life without settling or compromising. The FIRE method provides a framework for creating a deeply connected and satisfying intimate relationship that works for both partners.• Higher desire partners often feel they must settle in their marriages, leading to resentment and diminished intimacy• Emotional connection alone doesn't guarantee a satisfying sex life – sexual dynamics require specific attention• F – Face your beliefs about sex that were planted in your "garden" growing up• I – Initiate honest conversations about desires, boundaries, and preferences• R – Rewrite the rules together as a couple, free from cultural expectations and shame• E – Engage consistently through different life stages, creating rituals and "bridges to desire"• Sexuality should be approached playfully, like recess for adults• Regular "Sex Talk Tuesdays" can help normalize ongoing conversations about intimacyFor additional resources, download the FIRE worksheet at monicatanner.com/fire or schedule a complimentary 30-minute relationship breakthrough session at monicatanner.com/call.Send us a text
Top Ten from 2024: #4 Surprising Discoveries of Sex in Marriage: An Interview with Shaunti Feldhahn *DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults. **Transcription of original episode** 224. Surprising Discoveries of Sex in Marriage: An Interview with Shaunti Feldhahn Deuteronomy 29:29a (NKJV) "The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but those things which are revealed belong to us" Questions and Topics We Cover: Are there any specific questions you recommend we ask our spouse periodically? Will you elaborate on your finding that "men and women tend to have different insecurities that the process of sex can help heal or hurt"? You write "Having a comfortable way to signal (and receive) openness or interest will create connection and prevent much pain." So, how can couples begin to develop their own private language or signals to communicate effectively in a healthy manner? Thank You to Our Sponsor: The Sue Neihouser Team Shaunti Feldhahn received her graduate degree from Harvard University and was an analyst on Wall Street before unexpectedly becoming a social researcher, best-selling author, and popular speaker. Today, Shaunti applies her analytical skills to investigate eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships, both at home and in the workplace. Her groundbreaking research-based books, such as For Women Only, The Kindness Challenge, and Thriving in Love & Money, have sold more than 3 million copies in 25 languages. Her books and studies are popular in homes, counseling centers, and corporations worldwide. Shaunti (often with her husband, Jeff) has spoken around the world, sharing her findings with audiences ranging from churches to women's and marriage conferences to arena events to youth camps and cruises (yes, those are particularly painful…). Her research and commentary are regularly featured in media as diverse as The Today Show, Focus on the Family, The New York Times and MomLife Today. Shaunti, Jeff, and their two children live in Atlanta and enjoy every minute of living life at warp speed. Secrets of Sex and Marriage Website Previous Episodes on Sexual Intimacy on The Savvy Sauce: Fostering a Fun, Healthy Sex Life with your Spouse with Dr. Jennifer Konzen Ways to Deepen Your Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Douglas Rosenau Ten Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview with Dr. Michael Sytsma Easy Changes to Enhance Your Sexual Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner Hope For Treating Pelvic Pain with Tracey LeGrand Treatment for Sexual Issues with Certified Sex Therapist, Emma Schmidt Talking With Your Kids About Sex with Brian and Alison Sutter Natural Aphrodisiacs with Christian Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Douglas Rosenau Healthy Sexuality, Emotional Intelligence, and Parenting Children with Autism with Counselor, Lauren Dack Pain and Joy in Sexual Intimacy with Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Jessica McCleese Identifying and Fighting Human Trafficking with Dr. Jeff Waibel Bridging the Gap Between Military and Civilian Families with Licensed Professional Counselor, Cuthor, Podcaster, and 2015 Military Spouse of the Year, Corie Weathers Enjoying a God-Honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse with Certified Sex Therapist and Ordained Minister, Dr. Michael Sytsma Enjoying Parenting and Managing Conversations About Sex with Certified Sex Therapist and Author, Dr. Jennifer Konzen 63 Maximizing Sexual Intimacy During the Three Most Challenging Phases of Marriage with Christian Sex Therapist Pioneers, Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner Conflict Resolution, Infidelity, and Infertility with Licensed Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Jessica McCleese Hormones and Body Image with Certified Sex Therapist, Vickie George Passion Pursuit with Dr. Juli Slattery Female Orgasm with Sue Goldstein Erectile Dysfunction, Premature Ejaculation, and Treatments Available with Dr. Irwin Goldstein Turn Ons, Turn Offs, and Savoring Sex in Marriage with Dr. Jennifer Konzen Desire Discrepancy in Marriage with Dr. Michael Sytsma Answering Listener's Questions About Sex with Kelli Willard Anatomy of an Affair with Dave Carder Supernatural Restoration Story with Bob and Audrey Meisner Healthy Minds, Marriages, and Sex Lives with Drs. Scott and Melissa Symington Female Pornography Addiction and Meaningful Recovery with Crystal Renaud Day Building Lasting Relationships with Clarence and Brenda Shuler Healthy Ways for Females to Increase Sexual Enjoyment with Tracey LeGrand Pornography Healing for Spouses with Geremy Keeton Sexual Sin Recovery for You and Your Spouse (Part Two) Personal Development and Sexual Wholeness with Dr. Sibylle Georgianna Our Brain's Role in Sexual Intimacy with Angie Landry Discovering God's Design for Romance with Sharon Jaynes Sex in Marriage and Its Positive Effects with Francie Winslow, Part 1 Science and Art of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, Part 2 Making Love in Marriage with Debra Fileta Mutually Pleasing Sex in Marriage with Gary Thomas Sex Series: God's Design and Warnings for Sex: An Interview with Mike Novotny Sex Series: Enhancing Female Pleasure and Enjoyment of Sex: An Interview with Dr. Jennifer Degler Sex Series Orgasmic Potential, Pleasure, and Friendship: An Interview with Bonny Burns Sex Series: Sex Series: Healthy Self, Healthy Sex: An Interview with Gaye Christmus Sex Series: Higher Sexual Desire Wife: An Interview with J Parker Sex Series: Six Pillars of Intimacy with Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo 215 Enriching Women's Sexual Function, Part One with Dr. Kris Christiansen 216 Enriching Women's Sexual Function, Part Two with Dr. Kris Christiansen 217 Tween/Teen Females: How to Navigate Changes during Puberty with Dr. Jennifer Degler 218 Secrets of Sex and Marriage: Interview with Dr. Michael Sytsma Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast! Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.” Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“ Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“ Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Discover the secret language of sexual initiation in marriage through the Enneagram! In this groundbreaking episode, marriage coach Christa explores how each of the nine personality types initiates intimacy in completely different ways - and why misreading these signals creates disconnection in the bedroom. Learn about the three distinct initiation styles: Direct Initiators (Types 8, 3, 7) who pursue with confidence and clarity, Subtle Signalers (Types 2, 6, 9) who create atmosphere and gentle invitations, and Atmospheric Creators (Types 1, 4, 5) who set the perfect conditions for connection. Through real marriage stories and practical tools like "The Initiation Translation Game," you'll finally understand why your partner's way of starting intimate moments might look nothing like yours - and how to respond with enthusiasm instead of confusion. Stop waiting for your partner to initiate YOUR way and start recognizing THEIR unique love language in action. Watch on YouTube! Learn more about www.EnneagramandMarriage.com here! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
In today's episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we dive into the amazing benefits of being married, and we're not just talking about tax breaks and shared chores! In fact we don't even mention either of those! We discuss emotional security and companionship to better health and deeper intimacy, marriage brings a unique kind of fulfillment that singles just don't experience the same way.But this episode isn't just our opinion, we asked you, our incredible audience, to tell us what YOU think the biggest perks of marriage are, and today we're sharing your honest, heartfelt, and even hilarious answers!Whether you've been married for two years or twenty, this episode will remind you why you said "I do"—and might even inspire you to appreciate your spouse a little more today.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!
'If I feel awful and disgusting, then I'm going to put on a mask.' Exploring the psychological depths of sexual shame, Dr. Tina Sellers shares cutting-edge research on the cycles of guilt that inhibit our relationships. Bringing to light how our judgements can prevent us from living freely, she provides insight into how to heal from this shame and raise children who feel confident and assertive for their safety. Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers is a licensed sex and gender feminist psychotherapist, best-selling author, researcher, emeritus professor, and media personality whose expertise spans sex therapy, spiritual intimacy, parenting, medicine, and social justice. Her revolutionary perspectives have been expressed on platforms such as Spirituality & Health, Refinery 29, Vocal, Medium, and Bust Magazines, along with many podcasts, radio, news, and TV outlets. Known for exposing the impact of patriarchy and sexual shame on our ability to securely attach to our partners, and instruct our children to attach to theirs, Dr. Sellers' book Sex, God, & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy has had a global impact. Her latest book, Shameless Parenting – Everything You Need to Raise Shame-free, Confident Kids and Heal Your Shame Too! was a New Release Bestseller in eight categories. She speaks worldwide on healing and raising shame-free, relationally confident children. In 2015, Dr. Sellers founded the Northwest Institute on Intimacy, a post-graduate institute to train psychotherapists, educators, clergy, and physicians in sexual health, healing sexual shame and trauma, and understanding their sexual biases. In 2023, Tina founded InannaRising.org: a private membership community for psychedelic-assisted therapists and medical providers to get ongoing clinical consultation, collaboration, training, and support in creating scholarships for the under-resourced, and participation in an indigenous reparation fund. Host: Katie Koestner Editor: Evan Mader Producers: Catrina Aglubat and Emily Wang
In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we're diving headfirst into one of the most requested topics from our community: Foreplay! We asked thousands of wives to share their favorite foreplay things they want to see from their husbands, and what puts them in the mood, and wow… they delivered! From emotional connection to those can't-miss physical touches, this top 10 list is packed with real, tried-and-true tips that will take your intimacy game to the next level. Whether you're looking to rekindle the spark or just want to be a more thoughtful and confident spouse, this episode is for you. Husbands, take notes. Wive's, send this to your man. If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!
If sex feels awkward, distant, pressured, or just off in your marriage — you're not alone. In fact, over 50% of married couples say they're dissatisfied with their sex life… and many haven't talked about it in over a year.Not because they don't care.Not because there's something wrong with them.But because sex often carries a lifetime of silence, shame, and confusion.That's why this episode exists.In this kickoff to the Let's Talk About Sex in Marriage series, I'm inviting you into a conversation that's been missing for too long — one that helps you explore your desires, your fears, and your longing for more meaningful connection.We'll talk about:Why sexual disconnection is so common — even in loving marriagesHow emotional safety is the foundation of intimacyWhat it looks like to gently start this conversation with your spouseWhy sex isn't just physical — it's emotional, spiritual, and relationalThis isn't about fixing you or your marriage with a 3-step formula.It's about healing.It's about honesty.It's about reclaiming intimacy that feels true, nourishing, and safe.
Support AND/BOTH: Help us offset production costs while we're growingIn this candid and eye-opening conversation, Ashley welcomes Angie Anger, a self intimacy and sex coach, to the And Both Podcast. Angie shares her non-linear journey from counseling and corporate marketing to becoming a coach who helps women and femmes reconnect with their bodies, pleasure, and self-worth—especially through the lens of motherhood and long-term partnership. With empathy, humor, and a refreshing dose of honesty, they discuss desire types, communication barriers, emotional labor, and how parenthood reshapes intimacy. Angie reminds us: you're not broken, you're just human.What You'll Hear:The difference between responsive vs. spontaneous desire (and why most women aren't broken)Why connection and self-intimacy matter more than scheduled sexHow shifting your mindset from performance to play can transform your relationshipThe sex spiral of doom that many moms fall into—and how to break itHow motherhood, aging, and identity shifts influence desire and pleasureWhy Angie only works with individuals and not couples (and how it helps)Real talk on body image, communication breakdowns, and the dishes fightCoaching insights that help moms reclaim their pleasure on their own termsAngie's advice for the mom who feels unseen, unsexy, and unsure where to startA preview of part two: how to talk to your kids about sex, bodies, and consentConnect with Angie:IG: @angieengercoachConnect with Ashley:Website: https://dovetaildesigns.coPodcast website: https://www.andbothpodcast.com/AND/BOTH Community: https://www.andbothpodcast.com/andboth-communityDovetail® App: https://airtable.com/appn6w6IWipJYIuA3/pagZys7UnECzM46iJ/formSocial:Instagram: @dovetailappFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/dovetaildesigns.coLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyblackington/
Send us a text & leave your email address if you want a reply!If you believe that mismatched libidos are destroying your relationship, you're not alone—but you're also not seeing the full picture. What if everything you've been told about "high desire vs. low desire" partners is completely wrong? In this explosive episode of Sex Reimagined, somatic sex therapist Susan Morgan Taylor reveals the real culprits behind fading desire and introduces her revolutionary "Pleasure Keys" process that's helping couples worldwide reignite passion—no matter how long they've been together.EPISODE HIGHLIGHTSWhy the "high libido vs. low libido" narrative is damaging your relationshipThe three root causes of desire discrepancy that no one talks aboutHow mismatched sex drives are actually a skills problem, not a fundamental incompatibilityThe critical difference between direct and indirect pleasure seeekingThe game-changing distinction between expressing desire vs. making requestsHow to create safety for sharing fantasies without pressureNegotiation techniques that turn "no" into enthusiastic "yes"CLICK HERE FOR LINKS & RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEAWAKENING THE GODDESS IN CRETE! Leah & Willow want to take you on an all-woman's tantric pilgrimage to Greece Oct 5-12, 2025! Join us for a trip of lifetime. LAST 10x LONGER. If you suffer from premature ejaculation, you are not alone, master 5 techniques to cure this stressful & embarrassing issue once and for all. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST20. KING & QUEEN OF HEARTS. Leah & Willow's King & Queen of Hearts Intimacy Toolkit is on sale. 10% off Coupon: KINGANDQUEEN10.Support the show SxR Website Dr. Willow's Website Leah's Website
1 Corinthians: A Church Gone Wild - Chapter 7Podcast from Nfluence Church | Granger, IndianaFeaturing: Pastor Lucas Miles
1 Corinthians: A Church Gone Wild - Chapter 7Podcast from Nfluence Church | Granger, IndianaFeaturing: Pastor Lucas Miles
Building Non- Sexual Intimacy "See Into Me" in relationships allows for deeper connection, fosters greater health and wellness, and can really contribute to overall joy and happiness in life! On this episode, we tap into different types of non-sexual intimacy and the skills need to both reveal oneself while also engaging in another person's inner world while both people feel fully seen and accepted.
We (Amy and I) were having a discussion the other day about why we felt men get married and why women get married. I gave my reasons and of course she gave hers, but we wanted to see what you thought and if our reasons were in line with what other men and women thoughts, so of course we decided we had to poll our audience about this.We asked both men and women, what are the top 5 reasons you got married? We share the answers we got from the poll and they were in line with what we thought, but more importantly, what do you think? Join us for this fun episode!If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!
We had a wife reach out to us and ask how she could make her husband feel like he is #1 in their marriage. We thought it was great that she was asking that question, and that she truly desired to make him feel that way!Life can get so busy and for many of us, we tend to assume that our spouse knows that we love them, so we can focus on other things. In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we share the ways "most" husbands feel like they are #1 to their wife and the things a wife can do to make her husband truly feel #1.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!
What happens when a couple navigates libido mismatch—and how can they reconnect without feeling broken or disconnected? In this episode, Dr. Alexandra Stockwell talks with somatic sex therapist Susan Morgan Taylor, MA about overcoming desire differences and reigniting sexual intimacy in marriage. Drawing from her own suffering in a sexless marriage, Susan shares how emotional awareness, communication, and tension release can unlock deeper pleasure and connection. Whether you're navigating mismatched sex drives or simply craving more closeness, this conversation offers real, practical tools for building a more fulfilling and sensual partnership. Also in this episode: Libido Mismatch: How to navigate different sex drives with open communication and mutual understanding. Tension Blocks Pleasure: Learn how stress—mental, emotional, or physical—affects intimacy and how to relax into connection. Feel It to Heal It: Embrace your emotions to create space for real intimacy and erotic energy. Let Go of Goals: Discover the power of being present during intimacy, without pressure or expectations. Susan's Story: A personal journey of self-awareness, pleasure, and deep relationship growth. About The Guest: Susan Morgan Taylor, MA, is a leading somatic sex therapist who helps couples deepen their intimacy and create lasting, fulfilling connections. With over 25 years of experience in somatic healing, she developed The Pleasure Keys Process™, a powerful approach to reigniting sexual and emotional harmony in relationships. After a personal awakening from a sexless marriage, Susan became passionate about helping others remove obstacles to pleasure, love, and orgasm. She is also the creator of the Pleasure Keys Retreats and host of the Sex Talk Café Podcast. When not working, she enjoys hiking and singing karaoke in the mountains of Western North Carolina. Connect with Susan Morgan Taylor, MA: www.pleasurekeys.com www.pleasurekeysretreat.com www.pathwaytopleasure.com IG: @susanmorgantaylor FB @susantaylorma Subscribe To The Intimate Marriage Podcast: Apple Podcast | YouTube | Spotify Connect With Alexandra Stockwell, MD: Website | Linkedin | Instagram Get your copy of “Uncompromising Intimacy” by Dr. Alexandra Stockwell here: https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl Download the first chapter of Dr Alexandra's bestselling book, “Uncompromising Intimacy,” here: https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/book Cultivate your intimacy skills (without compromise) in Aligned & Hot Marriage, Dr. Alexandra's proven method for smart couples ready to love more fully: www.alignedhotmarriage.com Join Dr. Alexandra's email list to stay connected. She shares inspiring stories, her latest insights and opportunities to learn with her: https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/subscribe This Podcast Is Produced, Engineered & Edited By: Simplified Impact
Send us a text & leave your email address if you want a reply!The Self-Trust Revolution: Why It's an Inside Game ... Ever wonder why you keep attracting the same type of partner who lets you down? Or why your body feels anxious even when everything seems "fine"? Here's the truth bomb: your trust issues aren't about other people—they're about not trusting yourself. Leah and Willow get vulnerable about their own trust journeys and share the game-changing insight that's helped thousands of their clients: trust is an inside game.KEY TAKEAWAYS TO REMEMBER:✨ Trust Your Nervous System Opening and Closing Learn to feel when your body expands (safe) vs. contracts (warning) around people.
Have you ever wondered what it really takes to unlock female pleasure and orgasm? Let's be honest—most men don't fully understand the female body, and what works one night might not work the next. The female sexual response can be complex and often feels confusing to navigate. That's why we brought in Cindy Sharkey, a nurse and expert on the female body, to help decode it all. In this episode, we dive into the secrets of female pleasure and orgasm—what truly matters, and how couples can create deeper, more satisfying intimate experiences together. This is one episode you definitely won't want to miss.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!
How do we properly submit to our spouse?
Send us a text! (add your email to get a response)The invisible connection between trauma and sexual intimacy affects countless relationships, yet remains largely hidden in silence and shame. In this episode, we dive deep into why PTSD creates significant barriers to healthy sexual function—even when the original trauma had nothing to do with sex.Sexual arousal shares remarkable physiological similarities with threat response, creating a devastating paradox for trauma survivors. The racing heart, flushed skin, and heightened sensitivity that should signal pleasure become warning signs of danger to a traumatized nervous system. Beyond the physiological responses, trauma rewires our capacity for connection. Partners often interpret this withdrawal as personal rejection, creating a destructive cycle that leaves both feeling isolated and misunderstood.If you or someone you love struggles with trauma's impact on intimacy, know that recovery is possible. Effective trauma treatment can help break the association between arousal and threat. Partners play a crucial role by educating themselves about PTSD, creating safety without enabling avoidance, and maintaining patience through the healing process. Digital self-help resources and specialized trauma therapy can provide accessible starting points for reconnecting with your capacity for intimacy after trauma.**Have you noticed how trauma affects your relationships? Healing happens when we break the silence around these struggles. If you walk to talk through it and get help, book a call with Dr. Kibby.Resources:PTSD Coach Mobile appRebound HealthSupport the showIf you have a loved one with mental or emotional problems, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, work one on one with Dr. Kibby on learning how to set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one. *We only have a few spots left, so apply here if you're interested. Follow @kulamind on Instagram for science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive. For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends
Have you ever initiated with your spouse only to be denied time and time again? In this fun lighthearted episode, we share the ways to "successfully" initiate with your spouse, and the fun ways to do so!If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!
Can a strong marriage actually lead to greater financial success? In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we explore how a thriving relationship can often produce greater financial success in life, and the reasons why it often does.Couples who are emotionally, physically, and spiritually connected often find they're more aligned in their goals, values, and daily decisions. This unity leads to smarter financial choices, better communication about money, and a shared vision for the future. Instead of working against each other, you're building something together—and that creates momentum not just in your relationship, but in your finances too.This episode will help you see how a good marriage impacts every area of your life, including your ability to succeed financially.Tune in to discover why investing in your marriage may be one of the smartest financial decisions you'll ever make!If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!
In this episode with Nate Whitson, we dive into the harmful effects of pornography and why it can be so damaging to marriages—often leading to deeper and even more disturbing issues. Whether you're struggling with porn or simply want to better understand its impact, this episode is eye-opening and explains why pornography should be avoided like the plague. If you are struggling with porn, we also want you to know there is hope!If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!
In this episode of The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we're diving into the essential ground rules that every married couple should follow to experience deeper, more connected, and more satisfying sexual intimacy. Sexual connection doesn't just happen—it thrives in marriages where trust, communication, and mutual respect are non-negotiable.Whether your sex life needs a reset or you're looking to level up an already strong connection, these rules will bring clarity and spark back into the bedroom.This episode sponsored by vitalhealthproductsusa.comIf you are feeling like something is off with your energy or health, check out all of the great vitamins and dietary supplements to help you improve your overall health and wellbeing. If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!
We talk quite a bit about all the barriers that keep couples from having the intimacy and connection they desire. These include, kids, technology, busyness, work, hobbies and so many other distractions. In this episode, we share more wisdom that Greg and Julie Gorman shared recently at the 2025 Intimacy and Adventure Retreat about barriers that keep couples from connecting, and of course what we can do about it.This episode sponsored by vitalhealthproductsusa.comIf you are feeling like something is off with your energy or health, check out all of the great vitamins and dietary supplements to help you improve your overall health and wellbeing. If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!
Topics: Communication, Adult Children, Estrangement, Anxiety, Work Issues, Sexual Intimacy, Aging, Depression, Grief Hosts: Brian Perez, Dr. Jim Burns, Dr. Jill Hubbard Caller Questions & More: Dr. Jim talks about the magic five to one ratio for interactions. My grandchildren heard awful things that my narcissist daughter said to me, and I haven't seen them since. How do I handle my anxiety after catching my The post New Life Live: March 18, 2025 appeared first on New Life.
As we work to change the purity narrative and undo many of its effects, we have to look at some of the continued harm it does to marriages. There's still so much missing in the way Christian couples are taught about marital intimacy. How can Christians celebrate the gift of sex that God gave in marriage? Juli shares a conversation she had with the late Dr. Doug Rosenau, where he shared both what is missing and what is needed in the church when it comes to talking about the beauty of sex in marriage. Guest: Dr. Doug Rosenau, Institute for Sexual Wholeness Institute for Sexual Wholeness Book: The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment by Clifford and Joyce Penner Book: A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God's Gift of Sexual Intimacy by Douglas E. Rosenau Podcast: #543 How the Old Testament Reveals God's Heart for Women, Sex, and Covenant Love Transcript 00:00 - Introduction to Christian Sexuality Conversations 03:14 - The Church's Perspective on Sex in Marriage 16:26 - Understanding Female Sexuality and Mutual Pleasure 29:13 - Nuancing Gender and Desire in Sexual Conversations Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic conversations on marriage and family
“Lovemaking puts flesh on the vows that we exchange in marriage” - Byron and Francine Pirola Summary A few years ago in Australia, we met an amazing couple who we immediately wanted to share with our listeners. Byron and Francine Piroloa from Smart Loving, are on a mission to make marriages stronger all over the world and they are willing to talk about that subject that few couples will tackle - physical intimacy. We aired this podcast five years ago and it got such a great response that we decided to put it up again for all of you. Listen in as we talk to the Pirolas about how and why you should make time for sex, how the arousal pattern for men is different from women and why sex gets better and better the longer you are married! This is a podcast filled with wisdom, but also laughter and honesty. We hope you will enjoy listening as much as we enjoyed talking to them! Key Takeaways Anything precious and unique needs rules to be protected. That is why the Church gives us boundaries in this area to teach us how to be appropriately vulnerable in our marital relationships A person's sexual prime is in their 20s, but our erotic prime is reached in our 50s. This is a culmination of our relationship and our intimacy that is built over time. Sexual relations can slip into the “recreational” category in our minds when we are trying to survive. The antidote is seeing sex as a sacred communication that needs to be prioritized. Desire, arousal, climax, resolution is a typical male pattern. For most women the pattern is different - arousal, or foreplay, creates desire in the woman. We need to work and train our brains to connect with our spouse emotionally, to be present, so the intimacy that we share emotionally and physically. Couple Discussion Questions How are we creating a romantic environment in our relationship? Where are we making space for marital relations? How are we opening our hearts to our spouse in lovemaking? Can we work on being present to our spouse and retrain our brains to focus on them? Resources Free Conversation Starter on Sexual Intimacy: https://messyfamilyproject.org/guide/physical-intimacy/ Smart Loving Marriage Kit https://smartloving.org/marriage-kit/ www.catholiccouplesgetaway.com Family Board Meeting April Course https://messyfamilyproject.org/course/family-board-meeting/
Is sex just physical, or is there something deeper going on? Through Proverbs 5, Pastor Levi Lusko reveals God's majestic design for intimacy and why treating it like a masterpiece matters. Whether you're single, dating, or married, discover biblical wisdom about sexuality that culture won't tell you. Learn why physical oneness without spiritual connection leaves us emptier than ever, and find hope for healing regardless of your past.