Engineering Love is a podcast about relationships, where Kim helps you engineer a stronger relationship by troubleshooting conflict and communication. Whether it's marriage, dating, family, or friendships, this podcast gives you tools to get to the root cause of the issues in your relationships.
The Engineering Love podcast is an incredibly informative and insightful resource for anyone looking to deepen their understanding of relationships and improve their own. Hosted by Kim, the podcast delves into attachment styles and how they play a significant role in our relationships. Kim's in-depth exploration of this topic truly opened my eyes to the ways in which attachment styles can affect our interactions with others. It has been incredibly helpful in my own relationship and I am eagerly looking forward to future episodes.
One of the best aspects of The Engineering Love podcast is Kim's ability to combine logic with emotions when discussing relationship dynamics. She not only provides relatable topics but also offers practical strategies and principles that can be applied in various life situations. Even when a segment may not directly relate to my own experiences, I still find valuable insights that can be implemented in my own life. The podcast is filled with gems of wisdom and I couldn't love it more.
As for the worst aspects, it is difficult to find any major flaws with this podcast. However, one minor drawback may be that it focuses primarily on attachment styles and may not cover other relationship topics as extensively. While attachment styles are undoubtedly important, some listeners might prefer a wider range of subjects to explore within relationships. Nonetheless, this does not detract from the overall value and quality of the podcast.
In conclusion, The Engineering Love podcast is an absolute gem for anyone on a journey of self-reflection and seeking personal growth in relationships. Kim's advice and insights are truly invaluable, offering practical guidance for navigating the complexities of love and connection. Whether you're single or in a relationship, this podcast provides fantastic resources that are easily accessible and free. I highly recommend giving it a listen!
In Episode 10, Kim opens Season Two by breaking down procrastination in a way most people have never heard it explained before. This episode isn't about productivity, discipline, or time management. It's about emotional risk, fragile self-esteem, and the identities we built in childhood to survive. Kim explains why procrastination shows up around the things that matter most. Big conversations. Creative work. Boundaries. Healing. Growth. And why avoidance isn't laziness. It's protection. Drawing from attachment theory, trauma, neurobiology, and her own lived experience, Kim connects procrastination to emotional attunement, identity, shutdown, people-pleasing, catastrophizing, and the fear of inner collapse. She also explains why insight alone doesn't change behavior, and what actually has to shift for real movement to happen. –––––––––––––––––– Time Stamps & Topics 00:00 – Rage, triggers, and decades of stored emotional memory 00:25 – Why feeling misunderstood cuts so deeply 00:52 – Procrastination isn't about time management 01:22 – Emotional risk vs practical difficulty 01:50 – Personal example: writing a first book 02:29 – Procrastination around hard conversations 03:01 – Mistakes, shame, and fragile self-esteem 03:59 – Inner collapse and identity threat 05:04 – Why systems learn to avoid emotional danger 05:28 – What self-esteem actually is (and isn't) 05:51 – Self-esteem as emotional resilience 06:25 – Emotional attunement explained 06:44 – Empathy vs shared experience 07:37 – Why "they'll never understand me" isn't true 08:10 – Childhood emotional neglect and minimization 09:14 – Avoidant coping and jumping to solutions 09:57 – Why being sat with matters 10:27 – Religion, conflict avoidance, and emotional bypassing 11:30 – Biology of trauma and implicit memory 12:33 – Adoption, abandonment, and cognitive bias 13:46 – Anger as a lifelong trigger 14:52 – Suppression vs expression of emotion 15:41 – Coping mechanisms and shutdown 16:24 – Anxious vs avoidant responses in conflict 17:09 – Self-esteem and "what happens when something goes wrong" 18:28 – Catastrophizing and control 19:13 – Why anxiety feels protective 20:00 – Avoidance as nervous system safety 21:25 – Silence, minimization, and relational procrastination 23:14 – Childhood roles: good child, peacemaker, achiever 24:38 – Survival strategies vs self-esteem 25:27 – Relational procrastination and suppressed anger 26:25 – Waiting until you're angry to speak 27:08 – Walking on eggshells and staying silent 28:02 – Triggers as accumulated implicit memory 29:12 – Why your partner isn't the whole cause 30:07 – Shutdown as self-protection, not punishment 31:05 – Why insight doesn't change behavior 31:56 – Awareness without emotional capacity 32:23 – Cognitive vs behavioral change 33:11 – Reframing hard conversations 33:56 – Procrastination in personal growth and healing 35:02 – Childhood identities and family roles 36:16 – How family freezes you in old identities 37:35 – Why growth feels threatening 38:05 – Holding competing emotions about parents 39:22 – Letting go of old identities 40:05 – Why growth feels risky, not empowering 41:18 – What actually reduces procrastination 41:46 – Emotional regulation and self-trust 42:09 – Questions to ask yourself about avoidance 43:16 – Tasks that carry emotional weight 43:44 – Identity disruption and behavior change 44:31 – Alcohol, belonging, and identity shifts 44:58 – Pay attention to what you avoid 45:26 – What avoidance is protecting –––––––––––––––––– This episode is especially relevant if you feel stuck despite insight, avoid hard conversations, or keep postponing the things that matter most to you. Kim's website: https://www.kimpolinder.com/ Kim's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kp_counseling/ Kim's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@engineeringlovepodcast
Welcome to "Engineering Love," a relationship podcast where Kim helps you build better connections by troubleshooting communication and conflict resolution. This episode highlights these questions: Q1: How do I move to a more secure attachment style? How do I communicate with my avoidant partner? Q2: How do I handle self-doubt and build confidence? Q3: What are relationship tips for partners who both struggle with depression? Kim's next virtual workshop: How to Manage Guilt & Shame. To register or watch the replay: https://beacons.ai/kimpolinder To work with me in an affordable way, join my private membership community where you'll get access to ALL past and current workshops, exclusive video Q&A not posted on social media, journal prompts, and live chats with me to address any other challenges you're working through. Sign up here: https://engineering-love.mn.co/spaces/11088591 Kim's website: https://beacons.ai/kimpolinder Kim's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kp_counseling/ Kim's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kp_counseling108 Kim's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kp_counseling108 Submit a question for the podcast: https://www.speakpipe.com/KimPolinder Podcast website: https://www.engineeringlovepodcast.com/
Welcome to "Engineering Love," a relationship podcast where Kim helps you build better connections by troubleshooting communication and conflict resolution. This episode highlights these questions: Q1: My partner abused me for 8 years and says he has changed. How do I know the change is real? Q2: My boyfriend and I go in cycles where he cheats, acts devastated when caught, we get back together, and then he does it again. Q3: My father-in-law treated me horribly during my postpartum, and now I want to draw boundaries with him before our next child. How do I get my husband on board with this? Kim's next virtual workshop: Healing Betrayals & Infidelity. To register or watch the replay: https://beacons.ai/kimpolinder Are you frustrated that therapy is too expensive or every therapist you pursue has a waiting list? Then come work with me in my private workshop community. In my live virtual workshops, I teach you tools for managing triggers, increasing self-esteem, and improving communication in your relationships! Register now to work with Kim in her live workshops: https://engineering-love.mn.co/share/gqt40jODluLg4kyp?utm_source=manual Kim's website: https://beacons.ai/kimpolinder Kim's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kp_counseling/ Kim's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kp_counseling108 Kim's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kp_counseling108 Submit a question for the podcast: https://www.speakpipe.com/KimPolinder Podcast website: https://www.engineeringlovepodcast.com/
Welcome to "Engineering Love," a relationship podcast where Kim helps you build better connections by troubleshooting communication and conflict resolution. This episode highlights these questions: My partner avoids me and shuts down. How do I handle this being anxiously attached? My partner will not commit to marrying me, even though I communicated marriage being a priority early on. What should I do? I often take on tasks that no one else wants to do, like a martyr, and then feel resentful toward my friends. Where does this come from? Are you frustrated that therapy is too expensive or every therapist you pursue has a waiting list? Then come work with me in my private workshop community. In my live virtual workshops, I teach you tools for managing triggers, increasing self-esteem, and improving communication in your relationships! Register now to work with Kim in her live workshops: https://engineering-love.mn.co/share/gqt40jODluLg4kyp?utm_source=manual Kim's website: https://beacons.ai/kimpolinder Kim's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kp_counseling/ Kim's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kp_counseling108 Kim's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kp_counseling108 Submit a question for the podcast: https://www.speakpipe.com/KimPolinder Podcast website: https://www.engineeringlovepodcast.com/
Welcome to "Engineering Love," a relationship podcast where Kim helps you build better connections by troubleshooting communication and conflict resolution. This episode highlights these questions: How do I be empathetic with my partner? How do you support someone who is grieving or sad? How do I stop self-sabotaging? To book a complimentary consultation with Mason: https://kim-polinder.clientsecure.me/ Kim's website: https://beacons.ai/kimpolinder Kim's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kp_counseling/ Kim's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kp_counseling108 Kim's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kp_counseling108 Podcast website: https://www.engineeringlovepodcast.com/ Submit a question for the podcast: https://www.speakpipe.com/KimPolinder
Welcome to Engineering Love, a relationship podcast where Kim helps you build better connections by troubleshooting communication and conflict resolution. This episode highlights these questions: I'm caught in the middle between two people not speaking to each other How can my partner and I prevent microaggressions toward each other? How can I avoid feeling guilty when I draw boundaries? Kim's website: https://beacons.ai/kimpolinder Kim's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kp_counseling/ Kim's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kp_counseling108 Kim's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kp_counseling108 Podcast website: https://www.engineeringlovepodcast.com/ Submit a question for the podcast: https://www.speakpipe.com/KimPolinder
Welcome to Engineering Love, a relationship podcast where Kim helps you build better connections by troubleshooting communication and conflict resolution. This episode highlights these questions: How can you be your own source of happiness? How can I practice self-love while being in a relationship? How do you handle constantly comparing yourself to other people? Kim's website: https://beacons.ai/kimpolinder Kim's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kp_counseling/ Kim's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kp_counseling108 Kim's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kp_counseling108 Podcast website: https://www.engineeringlovepodcast.com/ Submit a question for the podcast: https://www.speakpipe.com/KimPolinder
Welcome to Engineering Love, a relationship podcast where Kim helps you build better connections by troubleshooting communication and conflict resolution. This episode highlights these questions: How do you handle anger and resentment toward the father of your child who left and never came back? How do you save a marriage after having multiple infidelities and truly want to change your ways and reconcile? How do you decide to end a longstanding friendship, and how do you communicate that to the friend and mutual friends? Kim's website: https://beacons.ai/kimpolinder Kim's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kp_counseling/ Kim's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kp_counseling108 Kim's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kp_counseling108 Podcast website: https://www.engineeringlovepodcast.com/ Submit a question for the podcast: https://www.speakpipe.com/KimPolinder
Welcome to Engineering Love, a relationship podcast where Kim helps you build better connections by troubleshooting communication and conflict resolution. This episode highlights these questions: How do you handle it when your partner doesn't respond to text messages or communicate throughout the day? Can a marriage survive multiple affairs? My partner wants a future with me, but feels I'm not meeting her standards. She wants a "perfect" relationship and is never satisfied. Kim's website: https://beacons.ai/kimpolinder Kim's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kp_counseling/ Kim's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kp_counseling108 Kim's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kp_counseling108 Podcast website: https://www.engineeringlovepodcast.com/ Submit a question for the podcast: https://www.speakpipe.com/KimPolinder
Welcome to the inaugural episode of Engineering Love, where Kim helps you build a better relationship by troubleshooting communication and conflict resolution. This episode highlights these questions: How do you help a partner better understand your depression/anxiety when that is something they don't experience in their own lives? How do you resolve conflict when it comes to house chores? What do you do when you keep breaking up and reconciling? Kim's website: https://beacons.ai/kimpolinder Kim's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kp_counseling/ Kim's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kp_counseling108 Kim's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kp_counseling108 Podcast website: https://www.engineeringlovepodcast.com/ Submit a question for the podcast: https://www.speakpipe.com/KimPolinder
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