Podcasts about pausing

In this thought-provoking episode of The Reformed Brotherhood, Tony and Jesse explore the complex relationship between Christian vocation and professional ambition. Moving beyond the obvious prohibition of inherently sinful professions, they examine whether certain legitimate careers might still be inappropriate for Christians if they compromise our responsibilities to family and church. The hosts challenge the common assumption that Christians should seek maximum worldly influence, suggesting instead that faithfulness in our threefold calling—to work, family, and church—should guide our vocational choices. Drawing on Reformed theology's rich understanding of vocation, they offer practical wisdom for believers navigating career decisions and workplace responsibilities while maintaining spiritual priorities in a culture that often glorifies professional success at any cost. Key Takeaways Vocation is threefold: A proper understanding of Christian vocation includes responsibilities to our work, our families, and our church—not just our careers. Lord's Day conflicts: Professions that regularly prevent church attendance and Lord's Day observance may be inappropriate for Christians, regardless of their potential for influence or impact. Family obligations: Scripture teaches that Christians who neglect family responsibilities are "worse than unbelievers" (1 Tim. 5:8), suggesting that careers demanding excessive time away from family may be problematic. Christian influence vs. gospel proclamation: We must distinguish between transforming culture through worldly influence versus the actual proclamation of the gospel, which can happen at any level of employment. Sacrifice is expected: Following Christ often requires sacrificing career advancement, prestige, or financial gain to fulfill our primary callings. Priority check: When considering job opportunities, Christians should evaluate church options in a new location with the same care they give to schools, housing, and other community factors. God calls us to faithfulness: Our primary calling is to faithfulness in our responsibilities, not necessarily to positions of maximum influence or cultural power. Balancing the Threefold Calling The hosts challenge the idea that Christians should prioritize career advancement and influence above all else. They argue that vocation in the Reformed tradition encompasses more than just our paid work—it includes our responsibilities to family and church as well. This means that even if a career opportunity seems beneficial for "kingdom influence," we must evaluate whether it allows us to fulfill our other God-given duties. Tony points out that while some professions clearly contradict Christian ethics, others may subtly undermine our ability to be faithful in all areas of life. A high-powered executive role might provide platforms for influence but could require such time commitments that family relationships suffer or regular Lord's Day worship becomes impossible. As Jesse observes, "vocation is fundamentally God's doing," not simply about finding personal fulfillment or maximizing impact. This framework helps believers evaluate career choices more holistically. The Question of Christian Influence A central question emerges throughout the episode: Should Christians pursue positions of maximum influence to advance kingdom values? While this idea sounds appealing, the hosts suggest it often masks a "theology of glory" rather than embracing the "theology of the cross." Jesse notes that "God doesn't call us to necessarily have outside impact. What he's calling us to is faithfulness." They distinguish between the transformative power of the gospel—which can be proclaimed regardless of position—and other ways of transforming culture through worldly influence. Tony explains that "whether you're the janitor of the hospital or whether you're the CEO of the hospital, the gospel is the same and your role in proclaiming the gospel is the same." This perspective challenges Christians to reconsider whether pursuing leadership positions always aligns with God's calling, especially when such roles might compromise other spiritual obligations. The hosts argue that faithfulness in ordinary circumstances, not exceptional influence, should be our primary aim. Quotes "Would it be great if the CEO of a major Fortune 500 company could be a Christian? Yeah. That would be kind of cool. But if the trade-off is that person has to sacrifice their genuine Christian convictions, that's not worth it." - Tony Arsenal "I do think we have to sit back and ask, is that the calling? So that we're pursuing what is our vocation, not just our potential... I think there is a real temptation to somehow say like, what we need to do is to infiltrate in all the places. And I think what we mean by that is that things here will be better." - Jesse Schwamb "I think the Bible is clearer about a person who is taken away from their home more than is reasonable and more than is healthy for their family, or a Christian who never is able to worship on the Lord's day... than it is on something like identity politics and some of the tangential ways that might cause a person to need to compromise a little bit at a high level." - Tony Arsenal Practical Applications The hosts suggest several practical considerations for Christians evaluating career opportunities: Will this job regularly prevent Lord's Day worship? Does it require sacrificing time with family beyond what's reasonable? Could you negotiate Sabbath observance with potential employers? When relocating, evaluate church options with the same care given to schools and housing Consider whether a lower-paying job that allows faithfulness in all areas might be better than a higher-paying one that doesn't Full Transcript [00:00:00] Introduction and Episode Overview [00:00:08] Jesse Schwamb: Welcome to episode 458 of The Reformed Brotherhood. I'm Jesse. [00:00:16] Tony Arsenal: And I'm Tony. And this is the podcast where even your work is unto the glory of God. Hey brother. Hey [00:00:24] Jesse Schwamb: brother. You know that's right. It [00:00:26] Tony Arsenal: is. That's why I said it. [00:00:28] Jesse Schwamb: Yeah, it was. That's a great way to open. We, I think from time to time come back to the topic of work and we've got a great, I think, conversation in the queue for this particular episode. [00:00:39] Jesse Schwamb: Now it's gonna sound maybe on the face. Right off the top here. Familiar. So of course, like we've talked before, how scripture makes it clear that Christians are to be salt and light in the world. And we've talked, I think, at length about, well, how exactly do we carry out that? And though we know that we're not saved by our good works. [00:00:57] Jesse Schwamb: Again, the Bible teaches very clearly that God expects good works from Christians, that that is in fact what he saves us to do. Again, we're not saved by those good works, but the question I think still remains, and we're gonna come to it in this conversation about what exactly does he want us to do and where does he want us to do it. [00:01:13] Jesse Schwamb: So in other words, we know that according to scripture, God providentially, governs and cares for his entire creation. So how does that play out in human society given the reality of sin? So we're gonna get to topics like. Well, should Christians be in every line of work? Is that the ideal? Are there jobs or positions or responsibilities that seemingly may not be obvious that Christians really shouldn't be a part of? [00:01:37] Jesse Schwamb: Because it takes them too far afield, maybe from the responsibilities that God gives us holistically to think of our calling is and our families and our churches in our work. So it's a bit more nuanced play of a conversation we had before, but hopefully something that's gonna have all kinds of practicality wrapped around it. [00:01:55] Jesse Schwamb: Yeah. So that's what's coming. [00:01:56] Tony Arsenal: Yeah. Yeah. I'm stoked. I think this is gonna be a good conversation and I think I, I think this is one of those topics where like there's a lot of different angles to come at it from, right? We talk about vocation and work, and we've had those conversations before, and I think other shows and other venues have had that conversation before. [00:02:15] Tony Arsenal: I don't think that I've encountered a conversation really to this like angle of it. So I'm looking forward to this. [00:02:23] Jesse Schwamb: Me too. It's gonna be great. And of course, before we get to all that goodness, all that greatness, which I'm sure is about to transpire shortly and will be of course the definitive conversation, the one to end all to, I guess both to your point, bring it into the world. [00:02:36] Jesse Schwamb: Then to shut it down because we'll have accomplished both ends in just a single hour. [00:02:41] Affirmations and Denials [00:02:41] Jesse Schwamb: Before we get to that, let's do some affirming or denying. This is the part of our conversation where you and I always pick one thing either that we're affirming with and kind of the tradition of the reformed faith, where we take something that's undervalued or something that excites us, we think has great merit or worth, and we put out into the world and say, we're standing behind this thing, or conversely, we deny against it in that same kind of tradition by saying, this thing is overvalued, not worth it. [00:03:05] Jesse Schwamb: Not our jam. So in our tradition, I ask you are you affirming with something or are you not against something? [00:03:11] Tony Arsenal: I'm affirming with something specific that will lead to something general. So, okay. [00:03:16] Exploring AI in Learning [00:03:16] Tony Arsenal: I mentioned a couple weeks ago that I've been playing around with Google Gemini, which is Google's AI platform. [00:03:22] Tony Arsenal: And uh, I've been using it in a sort of interesting way. So Google has, uh, Gemini has these things called gems, which are basically like predefined personalities or predefined. I dunno, like instructions. So they have one gem that is a learning guide where basically you can give it a topic and it will, it will deliver mini lectures, give you quizzes, you can prompt it. [00:03:46] Tony Arsenal: So like I can paste in, um, you know, I can take in Lagos, I can paste a copy of the Bible, like a chapter of the Bible into the learning guide. It'll summarize it, it'll ask me questions. It'll basically gimme many lectures on it. Um, that's the specific thing. This is such a cool technology. And in my mind, this is really where AI is strong, is that you can take large sections of text and it will summarize it and synthesize it into a very usable format. [00:04:14] Tony Arsenal: Um, so what I've been doing, like I said, is I'll read, I'll read a, a chunk of text from whatever it is I'm reading, and then I'll copy and paste that entire chunk of text if it's an electronic text into the learning. Learning guide module and ask it to act as like a seminary lecturer and quiz me on the content. [00:04:33] Tony Arsenal: Um, which really helps to solidify the content I'm reading rather than just passing my eyes over it. I'm actually, um, processing it and retaining it more. I think you could probably do something similar with just about any AI platform if you had the right kind of prompt, which is where the general one comes in. [00:04:50] Tony Arsenal: And I would encourage you, listener to think a little bit about how you might utilize this, because I think we all read lots and lots of things. Our, our, um, particular audience tends to be a little bookish, and so I'm sure we're all reading things as we go, but I'm not sure we're always processing things in the most effective way. [00:05:07] Tony Arsenal: So think a little bit about like how you might use something like chat, GPT, which is available for free, or Claude, which is available for free to do this kind of like. Almost like simulated classroom lecture. Um, and I know there are some questions about ai. Like I, I heard an argument that ai, when you're generating content is, is a sort of form of sophisticated, uh, plagiarism, which I'm not sure I buy it, but I understand the argument. [00:05:33] Tony Arsenal: This is something very different where you're really just using the, using the AI to synthesize and summarize text and sort of spit it back to you in a new format. Um, you're not trying to generate anything new. You're not trying to create anything. That you're gonna publish or anything like that. It's really just a, a form of synthesis. [00:05:49] Tony Arsenal: So I've really found this to be super beneficial. Um, I'm having a really great time at it. I'm, I'm using it for language studies, so I'm reading through mount's basics, biblical Greek. And I'll copy and paste the whole chapter in, ask it to act as a lecturer, and it will walk me through the chapter. It'll stop to do quizzes. [00:06:08] Tony Arsenal: It'll drill me on vocab as I'm going. And then when, when I up, the instruction I get is, don't move forward until you are convinced that I've mastered the content. And so when I get something wrong, it goes back and makes me redo it. So it continues to iterate until it's, until the AI has. Synthesize that I have mastered the content, and then it asks me to provide the next chapter. [00:06:30] Tony Arsenal: So it's a cool technology. It's a, it's a sort of novel use for the technology. Um, again, Google has built in modules that do this, but I think you could probably use chat, GPT or Claude or Orrock or whatever AI model you're using to accomplish the same goal. [00:06:45] Jesse Schwamb: There's no doubt that AI is great for like building study notes, helping you create space, repetition, all those like little hacks that we have long talked about. [00:06:53] Jesse Schwamb: And this provides it to you in a really bespoke course customized way, but it gets you involved. I'm with you if you wanna do this the old fashioned way. I'll go back to something I I've affirmed with before and that's this very famous book originally authored in the 1940s called How to Read a Book by Mor Mortimer, j Adler, and that is an exercise. [00:07:13] Jesse Schwamb: Helping you do some of that stuff in real time as well. Yeah, so I think there'd be a lovely compliment to say you're reading actively and then you get to test immediately that active reading by way of using ai. So even before, like, maybe even just jumping to like, well, let me read it, but I'm, I'm gonna trust that AI's gonna really kind of supplement me or fill in the gaps and just gimme what I need to know. [00:07:33] Jesse Schwamb: Trying to do that in real time. Pausing in your reading. Again, kind of studying as you go along, thinking out loud through what you've just read and then saying, alright, now test me is a great way to, 'cause who wants to like read stuff unless you can remember this stuff and then unless you can apply it, right? [00:07:48] Jesse Schwamb: Yeah. So it's such a joy to be able to read things and then to remember. And if you haven't had that experience yet, I like your affirmation. I think this is a great way to test it out. [00:07:56] Tony Arsenal: Yeah, just to maybe flesh this out. So I, I asked it to, and I'm, I'm doing this sort of as an experiment just to see how it works, but also just 'cause it's, it's useful. [00:08:06] Tony Arsenal: I asked it to act as a seminary lecturer and I copied and paste the entire first chapter of the Westminster Confession. And rather than split it up by section and actually combined paragraphs that were. Um, related to each other. So it combined the list of Bible, uh, books, and then the chapter on apocrypha and gave me some like lectures. [00:08:25] Tony Arsenal: But here's what it said about, um, about chapter 10. It says, paragraph 10, declares the supreme judge can be no other than the Holy Spirit speaking scripture. This is the ultimate outworking of sola Scripture, means that every other authority is lesser authority that must submit to the judgment of the word of God. [00:08:42] Tony Arsenal: This includes decrees of church counsels. Opinions of ancient writers, doctrines of men, private spirits. It goes on for a little while longer. Then it says, I will give you a brief final quiz covering the whole of chapter one, and it asks questions like A historian makes the following claim. The Bible only has authority. [00:08:59] Tony Arsenal: It does because influential councils in the early church, like the Council of Carthage officially voted on which books would be included in the cannon. The church therefore gave the Bible its authority drawing from your knowledge of paragraphs three, uh, three, four, and five. Provide a two-part critique of the historian statement. [00:09:16] Tony Arsenal: Which then I had to type it out. It critiqued, um, it analyzed my answer. Um, I happened to get that question right. I did at one point think maybe this is actually just like finding a way to say everything that I say is right. So I purposely put a wrong answer in and it did identify that the answer was wrong, and then it made me go back and revisit that content. [00:09:35] Tony Arsenal: So it's very, it's a very cool use case. I'm glad that Google kind of built this in. They have all sorts of other gems. If you have, if you have a way to get access to Google Gemini, um. It's not the best AI for everything, but it's got, it's pretty versatile. It's got a lot of utility, so check it out. [00:09:53] Jesse Schwamb: Yeah, that sounds great. [00:09:53] Jesse Schwamb: Again, there's all kinds of fun things I think we could be using AI for to help us be better learners or to really enjoy our interaction with data and information more. Yeah. It is a really great way to conversationally help you to learn something, and that's what makes it so much better. It stands way far apart from, again, just leading, just reading or just creating flashcards or even just, just creating study notes, but that back and forth to test you on something, even if it's just like casual knowledge that you can really want to internalize. [00:10:21] Jesse Schwamb: Yeah. I found that to be super valuable. Again, like, man, if you're a learner, if you're a reader, if you're a human being, what an amazing time to live in the world where data is so prevalent, but it's increasingly being brought into a place where we can put our arms around it in a way in which we're trying to really understand it. [00:10:38] Jesse Schwamb: You know, I think about how we used to search for something, I mean. Used to like this that like, that wasn't like last year. You know what I mean? Like we just go on to our, your favorite search engine. Type in a topic or maybe type in even a specific question. And at best you'd have to sort through this litany, this plethora, this morass of all these links about articles that may pertain to what you asked. [00:10:58] Jesse Schwamb: Or maybe they pertain to it generally, but not really specifically. Yeah. The specificity with which you can have a conversational interaction that engenders knowledge is wild. I mean, I really think that is like the huge play of ai. Just lean into it and enjoy it. [00:11:12] Tony Arsenal: Yeah. Yeah. Jesse, what are you affirming or denying tonight? [00:11:16] Nasal Spray Affirmation [00:11:16] Jesse Schwamb: I'm going a totally different direction. It's an affirmation, but I'm taking it from my ears, nose, nose, and throat doctor who affirmed this to me, so I might be totally late on this. There are very few things that I can say like somebody's recommended to me or affirm. It's been like absolute game changer, like just drop dead from the first moment I used it or employed the thing that it just changed everything. [00:11:38] Jesse Schwamb: This is one of those things. Which maybe I've just already oversold, but the affirmation is with something called it's, it's spelled X-L-E-A-R, I think it's still pronounced clear, but it's called literally phonetically XL nasal spray, and it's a. This doesn't sound very exciting, but bear with me everybody. [00:11:57] Jesse Schwamb: It's a natural, non-addictive saline nasal spray featuring Zi Atol as its primary active ingredient. So if you're not familiar with Zi Atol, which I wasn't until I went to my ENT by the way I've seen for many years and only just recommended this to me. So I had some words 'cause I was working, where's this been all my life. [00:12:14] Jesse Schwamb: But Zito is a naturally occurring alcohol sugar. It's found in like many fruits and vegetables, and it can be commercially produced from like birch wine or corn fiber. It looks and tastes similar to like table sugar, but it contains fewer calories, so it can be used and is often used as like a sweetener in sugar-free foods like chewing gum, mint candies, jam, stuff like that. [00:12:35] Jesse Schwamb: Here's one of the strange side effects. That they notice though about Zi atol, and that is it totally, uh, cleanses, moisturizes and soos nasal passages. And it gives you all kinds of relief from like common congestion stuff like colds, allergies, low humidity, humidity, science, pressure, stuff like that. What it does is it actually breaks down or lubricates your inner nasal passages, including like flushing out the mucus. like it works actually with your body. So what's amazing is it's, it's really great for, it's kinda like a soap for the nose. It clears up bacteria, pollens, dander, molds, like all kinds of irritants. [00:13:14] Jesse Schwamb: It also studies have shown blocks, adhesion of other pathogens like bacterial, fungal, viral to the mucosal tissues, helping the body to wash them away. So [00:13:23] Jesse Schwamb: this thing is absolutely. Wild. And I can say for certain that if you're the kind of person like me, where let's say like you're, you're hitting the Flonase hard at different seasons because you got those seasonal allergies because of the fall and because sin is real. I'm with you. That dries out your nose. [00:13:42] Jesse Schwamb: This thing is like a, a sauna or a spa for your nose, and then it literally like clears everything out. It's almost magical. I, I'm serious. It's so fantastic. So if you've been looking for something to really help with that and it, again, it's safe. There's no drug in it. It's not addictive, so you can use it all the time. [00:13:58] Jesse Schwamb: It's just saline and zi etol. It is phenomenal. So go get yourself, do yourself a favor. Do, do your, do your nose and your sinuses a solid and, and get the solids outta them by using. X clear. I feel like a bat just flew by your face or like a giant bird. [00:14:17] Tony Arsenal: Yeah. So, uh, first of all, that sounds like a really great thing to check out. [00:14:22] Tony Arsenal: Is this clear stuff? Um, I have had struggles with like sinus infections over the last couple years, so I'm gonna check this out when it gets to allergy season in the fall year. [00:14:32] Hummingbird Moth Encounter [00:14:32] Tony Arsenal: But yes, uh, one of the rare, uh, moths that I've learned lives near my house is called a, uh, what's it called? Uh. It commonly, it's called like a hummingbird moth. [00:14:44] Tony Arsenal: Have you heard of these things? Yeah. Oh yeah. Um, I've never seen them before, but the reason they're called hummingbird moths is 'cause they look like hummingbirds, but they're actually moths and I right now. Hopefully this will change eventually, but. It will have to, 'cause it gets cold here. Um, I'm recording outside and a hummingbird moth literally just flew between my computer and my face. [00:15:05] Tony Arsenal: Um, I wasn't talking at the time so you wouldn't be able to see it on the screen, which is too bad. Uh, but yeah, Jesse saw me freak out a little bit, which is uh, which is fine. [00:15:16] Jesse Schwamb: It happened the [00:15:16] Tony Arsenal: first time I saw one. I was like, is that a huge bee? No, it's just a hummingbird broth. [00:15:21] Jesse Schwamb: Somebody, everybody should look them up though, because they're kind of wild looking. [00:15:25] Jesse Schwamb: Like if you've seen it in real life, they have that hummingbird pose where the body, body is kind of laid back and the wings are going crazy. Like they literally do hover like that. Yeah. And they're, they're almost that big. The one that tried to attack you there was pretty large. [00:15:38] Tony Arsenal: Yeah. They don't, um, they, they. [00:15:41] Tony Arsenal: Move a little different than hummingbirds, which is why the first time that I saw one, I thought it was a bee. Um, because when they, when they land on a flower, they crawl inside the flower the same way that a, like a bee or a bumblebee will, um, they don't hover outside the flower like a hummingbird, but they do. [00:15:57] Tony Arsenal: They, their body is, I mean, their body is probably an, an inch and a half long like a hummingbird. Um, and it's thick like a hummingbird. They don't look like moths at all. So I'm not sure they must be part of the Moth family, I guess. Um, I'm trying to remember. It's. They have like a specific name, I wanna say Scarab, but that's not right. [00:16:14] Tony Arsenal: But it's something like that is the, the technical name of it. They're like a scarab moth or something like that. But [00:16:20] Jesse Schwamb: yeah, I've just come up. It's a wild name. [00:16:22] Tony Arsenal: This is your top 50 Entomology, uh, podcast apparently. As well as the top 50 health cath. We're gonna, we're gonna uh, com combine the two tonight, so yeah, I'm gonna check that out in the, the spring or in the fall here, Jesse. [00:16:34] Tony Arsenal: My, my allergies always go a little bit crazy when we get to September. Yeah. With all the, like leaves falling down and crumbling up and stuff, it just gets in the air, so I'll just, I'll spray some artificial sugar. It's not artificial. I'll spray some pseudo sugar in my nose and see what happens. [00:16:48] Jesse Schwamb: Yeah. It does have the added benefit that because it is a naturally occurring. [00:16:53] Jesse Schwamb: Sugar, like it's a type of sugar alcohol that if it drips down the back of your throat, all you get is a little like, mm, sweet. [00:17:03] Tony Arsenal: I wanna know who the first guy who was like, let me put some of this fake sugar in my nose and see what happens was it's, [00:17:09] Jesse Schwamb: I'm telling you, it, it's better than any actual, like, prescribed nasal spray I've ever taken. [00:17:15] Jesse Schwamb: You can get it like just at your g it. Yeah. Or you can get it on Amazon. I, I will, I forgot about it for a while. I, maybe I use it daily now it's become my go-to. But I mean, I don't wanna make this weird or gross, but it's the kind of thing like if you wake up in the morning and you're stuffy and you, it feels like somebody parked like a bus way up in your sinus cavity. [00:17:32] Jesse Schwamb: Yeah. And you're like, I can't even blow my nose. There's nothing there where, where's all this stuff? There's nothing there. If you use this, when I use this within two, two, I'd say like seven minutes, I can just. Drop a huge load of mucus right outta my face and you feel like a million bucks. I don't know how to describe it. [00:17:49] Jesse Schwamb: Yeah, it's like better than like a sinus rinse or a netty pot. I know this sounds wild, like I'm way too excited about this stuff, but that clear spray is wild. And what I especially love is that it's all natural, that I'm not doing any harm to my nose or my face by using it. And that it, I just feel better afterwards because it's like moisturized everything. [00:18:08] Jesse Schwamb: So, and there's, there's, the debate is I think ongoing. There's a lot apparently, because I went down the rabbit trail and looked at all these scholarly studies and peer-reviewed journal papers, all this stuff. There's a lot, I guess, uh, still somewhat in debate about like its ability to really help prevent certain things like COVID, any kind of like nasal airborne kind of like, yeah, because it helps to flush and it prevents literally bacteria from sticking, uh, inside your nasal passages. [00:18:34] Jesse Schwamb: So that could be a benefit. I can't say anything about that. I'm not a doctor. What, [00:18:40] Tony Arsenal: what I would love is, uh, if you are a listener who has seasonal allergies or whatever, uh, if you would join our telegram chat at t.me/reform brotherhood. Well done. We have what's normally a tastings channel, which is like people get like new foods they wanna check out, or a beer they like or whatever, and they'll, uh, they'll do a little tasting and a review. [00:19:04] Tony Arsenal: I would love if some people would join the channel and do some, some clear, clear. We'll go clear, uh, a tasting of this nasal spray. Yeah, please don't show us. 'cause that's disgusting. Right. But, uh, let us know. Let us know what you think of it. I think that'd be great. So that's t me slash Reform Brotherhood. [00:19:21] Jesse Schwamb: There you go. Come hang out with us. It's a lot of fun. I see we've had some people join that group this week, so I see you out there, brother Sean. Crushing it, getting in the mix. Welcome everybody. Come again. Spend a little time in there. And there's, I love that the channel for like the conversation about our episodes is. [00:19:37] Jesse Schwamb: Hot. It's going strong. I love that. And we gave the call last week. You should listen to last week's episode when we were really speaking about, uh, God's faithfulness and a challenge of how we seek after piety, under the care and the direction, the kind direction and the convicting influence of the Holy Spirit. [00:19:55] Jesse Schwamb: So many good things were said there. I really loved reading all those. And it probably goes without saying, but I'm gonna mention it anyway. You and I read everything that pops in there. Yeah. For the most part. I mean, sometimes I look at it and there's 150 messages, right? And um, it got wild. But I go back through and always, always read those. [00:20:10] Jesse Schwamb: But I especially love like the conversation when we invite people to say, like, now it's, we'd love to hear from you. And so I think that's gonna be a large part of what we talk about. On this episode as well. [00:20:20] Tony Arsenal: Yeah. Yeah. So, Jesse, why don't you lead us in here. This was the topic you brought up. I think it's a great one. [00:20:25] Tony Arsenal: I'd love to to dive into it here. [00:20:27] Christian Vocation and Work [00:20:27] Jesse Schwamb: I think one of the things that Christians always have to come to terms with at some point, every generation has to, but every person as well is, so where is my role as Christ child in something we might generally call like Christian activism? By which I mean like, of course, like Christians. [00:20:44] Jesse Schwamb: Attempt to improve or influence society through time, especially in our work. And as I was thinking about this recently, I think one of the hard things we have to measure out is well. Are there different places where we would, there's certainly jobs where we say Christians shouldn't hold that position because it contravenes God's law directly. [00:21:05] Jesse Schwamb: But what about these kind of, as we've talked about before, this threefold responsibility that we have in our callings, which you can go back to our previous catalog, which is all in the reform brotherhood.com, by the way. Listen to where we talked about this idea of like the vocation that happens in our work, in our households, in our church, and is it possible that in the work sphere that there are jobs that like Christians just shouldn't hold because it takes them too far away from their responsibilities in the other two spheres, which there are equally parts of their vocation, or if we want to put like a really fine point in it, and I don't really mean to derail the conversation with this question, but this would be exemplifying kind of what we're after here, which was like, should Christians be involved and. [00:21:47] Jesse Schwamb: In politics, are there other jobs like that where we'd say, listen, we, we tr we trust God in his sovereign superintendent will that he's always doing his good work. And you and I have talked at length about what it means to be living in the, under the normal principle of God using ordinary, normal means to do great and extraordinary things. [00:22:06] Jesse Schwamb: So how does all of that fit with our work? Are there lines to be drawn or. Does it not really matter? [00:22:15] Tony Arsenal: Yeah, I mean, I think for the sake of our conversation, we can just sort of take some professions off the table. Right? Of course, there are some professions of course, and calling them professions is probably even, probably even a misnomer. [00:22:27] Tony Arsenal: But there are some ways to earn money that are just intrinsically sinful that are outside of the scope of the conversation, right? You can't, uh, there's no argument for a Christian to become like. An assassin or like a drug dealer or a prostitute, like, there's no, there's no valid argument or discussion to be had around those. [00:22:45] Tony Arsenal: So we can just exclude those entirely. But I think for, for the sake of this conversation, we're talking about professions that do not involve, intrinsically involve sin, um, and, and may or may not have, um. Prudential reasons why they are not the best idea. Right. So I, I'm thinking like, the one that came to mind when you asked this was like, and it's funny because I, um, I mentioned the topic to my wife and, you know, she kind of joked, I was like, well, yeah, like Christians can't be. [00:23:15] Tony Arsenal: Can't like be porn stars, like that's not something you can do as a Christian. But then, then I, she said, well, what, what other professions would it be? I said, well, like, like a professional football player, right? And like the question is like, can a Christian be a professional football player? I think instinctively, right? [00:23:29] Tony Arsenal: We all say yes. But, but is that actually true? Right. And, and I would, I would make the argument that no, like a Christian can't be a professional football player or really, really any kind of professional sports, um, figure because it, it necessarily takes you away from the gathered fellowship of Christians on the Lord's day on far too often a basis. [00:23:47] Tony Arsenal: Right? I don't think you can make a good prudential argument to say like, well. It's fine for a Christian to be absent from the lord's uh, Lord's Day worship in his congregation of membership, you know, 60% of the time. Like, I just don't think you can make that argument. So I think in a lot of these cases, the immediate instinctive answer is yes. [00:24:07] Tony Arsenal: Uh. Christians can be part of any profession, and there's a certain, there's a certain way that that's true, but when we actually start to look at the way some professions actually play out, we have to analyze that a lot deeper. And this is actually not all that different than our conversation last week. [00:24:23] Tony Arsenal: Right. Involving like a. Pop culture and like media consumption is we have to look at what is actually, what the actual cost is. Uh, opportunity cost, I guess if we want to use like economic terms, what the actual opportunity cost is here of a particular profession in respect of. Our obligations and our commitments as a Christian and our obligation to the law of God, our obligation to our Christian brothers and sisters, all of that. [00:24:49] Tony Arsenal: So I think this is gonna be a great conversation. I'm excited to get into it. Um, but I do think it's one that we should think through a little bit more than just sort of like our gut reaction. Like we, of course, Christians can be involved in any profession. [00:25:00] Jesse Schwamb: Let me add to that. 'cause that's perfect. That's exactly, you're not on the same page as usual. [00:25:04] Jesse Schwamb: That's exactly where my mind was going. And what makes like this such a rich opportunity to really explore what the scripture has to say about this particular topic? I think you're right on that we need to weigh out, which we often just kind of glance over. What are the other responsibilities by taking on a particular line of work or job. [00:25:20] Jesse Schwamb: Does that necessarily mean that we must sacrifice and preclude these other areas? We should have direct or more intimate involvement because that is also part of vocation. Part of that, like we've talked about at length before, is responsibility in the Lord's day. So we might set that up as one particular test. [00:25:36] Jesse Schwamb: To that end, another one might be exactly what you were saying. So here's like the opposite of like the professional footballer or American football or whatever. Pick your, pick your sports. What about like high level? High responsibility, let's say leadership positions like in all kinds of areas of industry that would require the man or the woman to, let's say, like be on call continually, or maybe to sacrifice long hours at that job as part and parcel of what's required to do it effectively. [00:26:04] Jesse Schwamb: And that might mean that necessarily like not being very connected with family or having to be away from their family a lot of the time. I think what we often come to is this idea that, wouldn't it be great if Christians were just everywhere and were infiltrating all the things all the time at all the levels. [00:26:21] Jesse Schwamb: I think the question here that's under the surface is, is that what God assigns in a life of vocation? And maybe it's, it's of course more nuance than that and it could be for the person. Again, I wanna be clear that, like we said before, vocation is a very specific and narrow term in that we're talking about an actual calling being called out for a particular purpose. [00:26:42] Jesse Schwamb: And if we're using that in the right way, then it's possible that with the exception of some things like the Lord's Day, the other thing I just talked about, season of life. And your particular commitments or entanglements, they might be different from person to person. Therefore, allow for a direct call that God gives to a particular purpose at a particular time. [00:27:01] Jesse Schwamb: I think what I'm really kind of weighing out here is if we understand how the reformers viewed all of this. We have to come to this conclusion that God assigns us a life and then God calls us to that life. And that really is what vocation is all about. And notice in that there's nothing that's said about choosing a vocation or finding your true vocation or being fulfilled even in your vocation. [00:27:24] Jesse Schwamb: We may experience a struggle with all of that, but vocation is fundamentally God's doing. So what is. God doing in our society. And as you said, are there roles that he's, in a way not calling, let's say like the, the quintessential or the normative, I don't wanna say average 'cause that implies the weird thing, but Right. [00:27:44] Jesse Schwamb: Kind of Christian too. And I think. We've gotta, we've gotta wrestle with that because you're right. Like we too often just run to, we need Christians in all the places now let's get them everywhere. Doing all the things. Yeah. And that might be good from our perspective, because Christians should be the best workers as we said that we should. [00:28:01] Jesse Schwamb: The most kind. There is the salt in lights everywhere. However, it takes a Christian to do all those things. And can a Christian in certain roles have great fidelity to the threefold? [00:28:13] Exploring the Theology of Work and the Lord's Day [00:28:13] Jesse Schwamb: Calling and vocation of life while upholding certain jobs and responsibilities. [00:28:19] Tony Arsenal: Yeah. Yeah. You know, I think, um, I think that may be like a little bit of progam is, is warranted here too. [00:28:26] Tony Arsenal: Like there, you know, there's the, the, the conversation at the top of like, some, some professions are just out of bounds. Yeah. Um, but there's also, you know, a pretty robust theology. And I think a lot of this is gonna center around. Uh, maybe just for simplicity's sake and for the fact that we have 30 minutes left of a conversation that probably could be multiple hours, um, there's a pretty robust apparatus in reform theology that is designed to help Christians understand whether or not, um. [00:28:57] Tony Arsenal: A particular activity is acceptable on the Lord's day. And we've, we've had conversations in the past about like, if, if all of your theology of the Lord's Day is about what you can and can't do, then you're missing the point entirely. [00:29:11] Jesse Schwamb: That's right. [00:29:11] Tony Arsenal: But there is an element of what you can and can't do in terms of understanding the Lord's day. [00:29:16] Tony Arsenal: Right. We're, we're not supposed to engage in worldly recreation or employment on the Lord's day. So we have to talk about what that means. And so I think. [00:29:24] Works of Necessity and Charity on the Lord's Day [00:29:24] Tony Arsenal: I think to start with, like there's categories, like works of necessity, works of charity, um, that, or, or like works of ministry, which would, would sort of be a third category that's not necessarily, um, not necessarily enumerated in many of the sources, but it's assumed that like pastors who are working on the Lord's day are not, they're not violating the Sabbath by doing the work on the Sabbath. [00:29:47] Tony Arsenal: Um, I think we have to have those categories. 'cause I think that helps us inform too, like. If you are the CEO of a major retailer, does that mean you have to work on Sunday, right? Well, probably it does. Like, it probably means that on a regular basis you're gonna be checking emails on your phone, you're gonna be taking phone calls. [00:30:05] Tony Arsenal: You've got, you might have partners in markets overseas where it, it's Sunday morning for you, but it's Monday afternoon or you know, Monday morning for them or something like that. Um. I think that the industry you're in largely is going to drive whether that's an acceptable or, or an appropriate role for you. [00:30:24] Tony Arsenal: So I could see a situation where you could make the argument that being the CEO of a of a major medical center, right. Where the work that's being done at the medical center falls easily within that sort of definition of, uh, works of necessity. A nurse who is working in the emergency room or a police officer or a firefighter or somebody who is fixing the power, like in our society, right? [00:30:47] Tony Arsenal: Electricity is, is not an option for most people. It's not a, it's not a luxury for most people. So those, those professions. It's acceptable to work on the Lord's Day when it's a work of necessity, and so the higher level leadership positions that make those possible and constrain them also, I think. Would fall under that same work of necessity. [00:31:06] Tony Arsenal: If the CEO of my hospital, I don't know if she's a Christian or not. I, I'm, I'm not speculating on that, but if, if the CEO of my hospital was a Christian or is a Christian and she has to take an important phone call on Sunday morning and miss the Lord's day because if she doesn't take care of that, the hospital's not gonna function correctly and people may not have emergency services. [00:31:26] Tony Arsenal: I don't think that's a violation of the south principle. If the same scenario is happening and it's the CEO of Best Buy and they need to take a phone call, otherwise people won't be able to buy widgets on Sunday afternoon, that's a different calculation. So I think like right off the bat, we have to start having those conversations about what's the nature of the work, what's the, what's the tell loss of the work or the end aim of the work. [00:31:46] Tony Arsenal: That's really important as well. [00:31:48] Balancing Professional Responsibilities and Christian Obligations [00:31:48] Jesse Schwamb: So it sounds like though what we're saying, both of us in a way, is that if you run that test, so to speak, like you go through that algorithm and you come out with this idea that you know, it's, you're saying your industry is more like Best Buy and less like your local hospital, then there might be significant and maybe insurmountable roadblocks to taking that position Should be as a c. [00:32:08] Jesse Schwamb: Yeah, I mean, that's kinda what we're saying. [00:32:10] Tony Arsenal: Oh yeah, for sure. And you know, like this is a real world application I think for a lot of people. I remember when I was in college, um, I had the opportunity to take a promotion. I worked at Best Buy. I, I'm not using Best Buy as an example for any specific reason, but I worked at Best Buy. [00:32:23] Tony Arsenal: I worked in the Geek Squad area and I had the opportunity to take a promotion. Um, and the sort of the strings that came with the promotion is that I was expected to be available to work on Sundays. I didn't have a super robust doctrine of the Lord's Day at the time. Like I wasn't super theologically versed on Sabbath theology and stuff. [00:32:39] Tony Arsenal: Um, but it just didn't sit right with me. And so initially I didn't take the, I didn't take the, um, promotion because I didn't feel comfortable saying at the time, it was mostly about like, I'm not gonna miss the church service. I didn't feel comfortable saying I need to be available. And that might mean I Ms. [00:32:57] Tony Arsenal: Church to, to be able to take this shift. Um, eventually the management adapted and said, well, we'll just figure out something else. We really want you to take the position, but that's the kind of question we have to ask. And then that same question, as you move up in an organization, it expands and you're more likely to need to be drawn away from Lord State worship or just general. [00:33:19] Tony Arsenal: Obligations on the Lord's Day. [00:33:20] Personal Experiences and Real-World Applications [00:33:20] Tony Arsenal: And I don't wanna make this entirely about the Lord's Day 'cause there are other obligations that Christians have and it probably will be interesting to get to those. But I think, um, the, the other thing maybe that I wanna push back on a little bit too is I. I, I've never been a CEO. [00:33:34] Tony Arsenal: I probably never will be a CEO. You're far closer to a CEO than I ever will be. But I think a lot of times we assume those positions have no flexibility. Right. But in reality, some of those people are absolutely able to say, I'm gonna take, I'm gonna take Sunday, and just not. Yes, I'm not gonna do work on Sunday. [00:33:52] Tony Arsenal: I'm gonna delegate that. You know? And then this is a whole other question. I'm gonna delegate that to someone else. Well, there's a whole different question that comes with that, but saying like, I'm just not going to do work on Sunday is actually within the options for a lot of positions. So that's the other question is when we take a position, do we have the option to set aside the Lord's Day? [00:34:11] Tony Arsenal: Even if we might acknowledge that occasionally, that's not gonna work out. There are oftentimes in all of our lives that we're drawn away from being able to fulfill our ordinary obligation of the Lord's Day, and I don't think that that's intrinsically sinful. If on a rare occasion you're not able to attend the Lord's Day worship or something like that. [00:34:29] Tony Arsenal: So I think those are questions we have to ask. Then what? What kind of other Christian obligations do we have? And this is hypothetical, but you're welcome to answer if you've got one in mind. Like what other kinds of Christian obligations do we have that any particular vocation or particular job might make difficult or impossible to fulfill? [00:34:47] Tony Arsenal: I think those are questions we have to ask. [00:34:49] Jesse Schwamb: I'm with you. And that's actually more where my mind goes because again, we've talked before and for some Christians it's easier to identify the stuff that certainly explicitly contravenes the Lord's Day. And I think it's more difficult to say like we, again, I think we talked before about that threefold responsibility and the vocation that is to like work that is like our industry, so to speak, and then to our household, then to our church. [00:35:10] Jesse Schwamb: So the church often does. Again, in a very finely pointed way, connect very tightly with the Lord. Say what about that household stuff? Yeah. So what about these jobs that would just make you too busy? And I think like what's interesting to your point is I agree. Like I think part of this conversation is just a thoughtful assessment of what the job entails, and then even as like maybe you're taking a job or considering a job. [00:35:33] Jesse Schwamb: Having a conversation with your potential employer about what opportunity is there for flexibility given like certain convictions that you have? All of that could fall into place neatly and I think would still be within the bounds of yes, but I think part of this is if it's truly a calling that we, we have to be praying through it and assessing whether God is calling us through that. [00:35:50] Jesse Schwamb: Part of that is passing it through the sin of what the scriptures require in each of those threefold vocational responsibilities. So sometimes I hear there is like a pushback or counter, this argument says, but wouldn't it be better? [00:36:01] The Role of Christians in Leadership Positions [00:36:01] Jesse Schwamb: Wouldn't it be fantastic if you get a Christian as an opportunity to be a CEO? [00:36:05] Jesse Schwamb: Isn't it better for them to be a CEO and to be in that role, even if they're crazy busy, even if they're sacrificing so much for their family, for their household or for the church because they simply, they're gonna be a Christian and think of the role model and the emphasis and the impact they can have. [00:36:19] Jesse Schwamb: And to that, I would say we gotta be really careful with that loved ones because God, I don't think God's calling us to necessarily have outside impact. What he's calling us to is, is faithfulness. Invocation, invocation pulls us back into those three responsibilities, and we know the way in which God prefers to work His jam is these ordinary means, these natural ways of in the normative work of our lives and faithfulness showing that his power is demonstrated in this weakness. [00:36:44] Jesse Schwamb: Somehow we're back to the theology of. Glory and theology of cross. But you know, it's interesting to me that there are no calls like in the entire scriptures, of course, to withdraw into like a private ghetto or to take back the realms of cultural and political activity. And so I think we have to be really careful about even how we kind of pull that into then how. [00:37:03] Jesse Schwamb: Our jobs that like, shouldn't it be my goal as a Christian to get as most influence as possible? And I think I wanna push back on that and say like, you know, the, the church, the Christian exists within the world as a community of word and sacrament. But it doesn't always have to seek influence in larger society. [00:37:19] Jesse Schwamb: It can. It can. And when God provides the opportunity by way of clear calling, I think internal and external that is appropriate. However, often that calling is gonna come at a much more normative level, I think. And, and I do not believe that we are somehow compromising or sub-optimizing the work that God does in the world merely because we might have a Christian that says, I don't know if it's right for me to be in this leadership role, and therefore a unbeliever is going to vault above that person's speaker or take that role on that somehow. [00:37:51] Jesse Schwamb: Again, God's superintendent will, or his strong arm is, is somehow pulled aback from what he wants to do that we need like more Christian plumbing in the world. I do kind of bristle that idea a little bit. Specifically because I wonder if sometimes we go outside of that calling. [00:38:08] Tony Arsenal: Yeah, I, I'm picking up what you're putting down and I think, I think there's, um, it, it does all come back to theology, the cross theology of glory. [00:38:17] Tony Arsenal: And I'm glad that, that, that conversation happened before this. 'cause I think there's good framework there. I, I think, um, we, we as Christians can often confuse. The transformative power of the gospel with other ways of transforming culture. Yeah, that's good. Right. So, um, it is totally, um, I wanna be careful how I phrase this. [00:38:42] Tony Arsenal: I'm not post mill, I'm probably never gonna be post mill, but I'm okay with a kind of post mill theology that says that the gospel of Jesus Christ, as people become Christians, the culture will. Change along with that. And the gospel has a transformative power in that it changes individuals and individuals make up, make up the broader society. [00:39:05] Tony Arsenal: And so the society itself changes. Where I struggle with some flavors of postal theology, and this is where I think the theology of glory comes in, is there are some kinds of postal theology I'm thinking, I'm thinking, um, like Doug Wilson, they just, uh, opened A-C-R-A-C church in Washington, DC specifically with the goal of gaining influence with politicians. [00:39:26] Tony Arsenal: Right. I might be misconstruing that a little bit 'cause I haven't read all of it, but that's, that's the impression that I'm getting from some of their promotional material. I, I think we can, we can look at it and say the gospel can change culture as the gospel. And so where that. [00:39:43] Sacrifices and Priorities in Christian Vocation [00:39:43] Tony Arsenal: Levels of playing field is that whether you are, and this is where I think a genuine Protestant reform theology of vocation comes in, whether you're the janitor of the hospital or whether you're the CEO of the hospital, the gospel is the same and your role in proclaiming the gospel is the same. [00:39:58] Tony Arsenal: And you might have more people's ear as the CEO than you do as the janitor. Although I would maybe question that knowing how many people janitors interact with at the hospital, um, you may have more people's ears in a higher level position, but the message that you're proclaiming, the influence that you're wielding or you're using, I don't know what you wanna say. [00:40:18] Tony Arsenal: It's not different because it's still just the gospel. [00:40:21] Jesse Schwamb: That's good. [00:40:21] Tony Arsenal: Um. Where I think we can get confused is when we look at it and say, but we have these other opportunities to transfer, transform the culture by, um, for example, I, I'm the supervisor in my patient relations department. I'm making changes to the, to the policy and the way that we as a sort of service recovery resolution group, the way that we interact with patients, I'm making changes to that. [00:40:46] Tony Arsenal: I think those changes are consistent with the law of God as revealed in the light of nature, and I'm. I'm informed of those things and my whole outlook and ethos is shaped by the scriptures, but. I don't see the transformation of the way we interact with patients as somehow propagating the gospel, right? [00:41:05] Tony Arsenal: So we can, we can make transformation and make society better, right? If you're a politician, you can, you can legislate things that make society more outwardly in conformity with the law of God or more pleasant and more prosperous, and more flourishing, and those are all fine and well, but that's not. [00:41:21] Tony Arsenal: Building the kingdom of God in, in a strict sense. Right? And so I think what we're getting at is our, would it be great if, if, you know, the CEO of a major Fortune 500 company could be a Christian? Yeah. That would be kind of cool. Sure of That'd be nice, of course. And yeah, they could probably do a lot of good things and they could probably shape the way that that business runs and they could probably, um, have more opportunities to share the gospel. [00:41:42] Tony Arsenal: They could probably shape their business into a vehicle that, that moves forward. Missions, all those things are great, but. If the trade off is that that person has to sacrifice their genuine Christian convictions, right? That's not worth it. And I think we, we look at this and we might be able to identify certain. [00:42:00] Tony Arsenal: Obvious ways that we would say, no, it's not worth it. Right? If a CEO, uh, the CEO of a major retailer has to give way to all of the, um, transgender LGBT sexual, you know, identity politics has to give way to that in order to survive as CEO, I think we would all look at that and go, yeah, it's probably a hard sacrifice, but that's a sacrifice we would expect a genuine Christian to make at that level. [00:42:25] Tony Arsenal: Where we might not look at it is saying, well, I don't know. The Bible says that if you don't properly care for your family, then you're worse than an unbeliever. That's right. And so that CEO that is at the office for 70 hours a week and is never home, um, and their kids don't, you know, their kids don't have an opportunity to know their father or their mother because their. [00:42:44] Tony Arsenal: Constantly jet setting around the world. I don't know that we would as readily identify that as a sacrifice. I would actually argue that, that the Bible is probably clearer about that being a problem than it is about identity politics or other sort of, of social issues that, that, uh, a business person might have to. [00:43:04] Tony Arsenal: Hold their nose a little bit and, and, you know, sign off on a commercial or something that they don't necessarily want to, I'm not advocating that they should do that, but I think the Bible is clearer about a person who is taken away from their home more than is reasonable and more than is healthy for their family. [00:43:20] Tony Arsenal: Or a Christian who never is able to worship on the Lord's day, um, or, or something like that. I think the Bible is clearer about that than it is on. Something like identity politics and some of the tangential ways that, that might, might cause a person to need to compromise a little bit at a high level. [00:43:35] Tony Arsenal: So I, I think this is a, it's an interesting question that we probably don't think about it from the right angle most of the time. [00:43:41] Jesse Schwamb: Yeah, it's just too easy to consider this in light of if we can get more responsibility, that should always be a good thing. And I think that proclivity is, is fine and maybe even noble, but sometimes I think we do get it twisted where we get this sense that we are trying to make the world into something moral like the church. [00:43:57] Jesse Schwamb: And if we could do that in our jobs and get the most influence in that greatest sphere of impact. We should always take on those additional responsibilities. And I do think we have to sit back and ask and say, is that the calling? So that we're pursuing what is our vocation, not just our potential. [00:44:13] Jesse Schwamb: There's a lot of brilliant, God has made all kinds of brilliant people. Many of them are his children, and as a result of that, we might say like we should always again be trying to move up. And this is not to say that we shouldn't take great initiative, that we shouldn't want to try to do more and be more productive. [00:44:27] Jesse Schwamb: You and I have always been outspoken about that kind of thing, but I think there is a real temptation. To somehow say like, what we need to do is like to infiltrate in all the places. And I think what we mean by that is that things will, like, whether we wanna admit it or not, that things here will be better. [00:44:41] Jesse Schwamb: And I, I don't know all the time that what we're saying is what you just said, which was that what we're really concerned with is that the gospel get proclaimed more forthrightly. More loudly, more specifically, more cogently in all places. But that if we just had good examples of moral behavior and good character, yes, those things are profitable in and of their own ways, but there's also a lot of common grace we see God bring about good leaders who are not a Christian at high level to do that kind of thing. [00:45:05] Jesse Schwamb: And sometimes I do wonder, just depending on the job, quite honestly, whether it's really possible for Christian to be successful in that job. [00:45:14] Tony Arsenal: Yeah. [00:45:14] Jesse Schwamb: As like the world or the industry or the company has defined it. I'm not sure that's the case, so I don't wanna put like too high a line on this. I think we're trying to just drop a bomb in some ways and say, I'm not gonna make it overly prescriptive and say like, as a Christian, you can't be a CEO. [00:45:29] Jesse Schwamb: Move on. That's not true at all. Of course, again, here are hopefully what we said about the particulars of that wrestling through it and again. Really sensing where there's an actual call on your life that God has given for that role in a particular time. But I do think we ought to question where there's always and everywhere appropriate for any Christian to take on, quite frankly, any job. [00:45:51] Jesse Schwamb: Yeah. And so I'm with you. Sometimes it's super easy when I first start out in banking, when I was looking for my second banking job. I had a great interview. It was a very nice company. The bank actually doesn't exist anymore, but, uh, one of the things, one of their big, like, kind of gimmicks was they were open seven days a week. [00:46:09] Jesse Schwamb: And so I said to them, well. I attend church on Sundays. That's my day of rest and my high conviction on that. And I said, is there any flexibility with that? And they said, Nope. You would still have to be on the schedule. And though they very graciously offered me the job, I was thankfully in a place where I, I turned that down. [00:46:26] Jesse Schwamb: Yeah. Actually I didn't have a job at the time, but I turned it down trusting. That God would provide. And this wasn't my great act of faith on my part. It was more of just, I think what you were saying, Tony, growing in our conviction that those things really do matter. Yes. And that it's sometimes just too easy to kind of push them aside and say, I, I know it's gonna be really stressful. [00:46:43] Jesse Schwamb: I know it might take much more of my time than I want to give. I know I might be at home a lot less. I know I might have less like attentional fortitude and space to think about my spouse or my children, but it's gonna be worth it because. I'll be able to like have this big influence. I do think sometimes madness lies that way. [00:47:02] Jesse Schwamb: Yeah. Certainly a great deal of foolishness. This is just hopefully a call for all of us as God's children to, to think through that. I don't wanna discourage anybody from taking on bigger and bolder things for the kingdom of God. I think we all have to think about what it is that we're. Promulgating or proclaiming when we talk about the Kingdom of God coming and whether or not we're just trying to make the world a better place, so to speak. [00:47:26] Jesse Schwamb: Yeah. By bringing our like quote unquote Christian influence into a setting where really that influence is now particularly strong and what it's actually compromising is the vocation that we're meant to undertake. [00:47:37] Concluding Thoughts and Future Discussions [00:47:37] Tony Arsenal: Yeah. Are you ready to, for me to drop two bombs? Just, just straight up. You got, [00:47:41] Jesse Schwamb: you got two of them. [00:47:42] Jesse Schwamb: Let's do it. I, I've [00:47:43] Tony Arsenal: got 13 minutes or less left on this episode. There go. So I actually got into a pretty big, uh, like a pretty big dust up with someone way back in the day when I was in the reform hub over actually this topic. And I'm surprised I didn't think of it earlier in the evening. Um, we are using like CEOs as like kind of the proxy for this, but there's all sorts of jobs where, um, your, your job may be admirable and it may be. [00:48:06] Tony Arsenal: Right. Even something that's sort of quote unquote necessary for society. But I got into a big dust up with someone who was an overroad trucker, right? And they were constantly, um, posting in the pub at, at back in the day. They were constantly posting how discouraged they were and, and how difficult their faith was and how much of a challenge it was to just remain faithful as a Christian. [00:48:27] Tony Arsenal: And I. Originally, I kind of naively and, and I think innocently said like, well, you know, like, have you talked to your pastor about this? And the person said like, well, I don't have a regular church because I'm always on the road. And I said like, well, there's your problem. Like there's the first step is like, figure out your local church thing. [00:48:43] Tony Arsenal: He said, well, I can't do that

On this episode of The Karen Kenney Show, I talk about the power of stopping before you start - especially when it comes to how we communicate with others. I share a little story about catching myself as I was about to fire off a sarcastic response (classic Masshole move!) and realizing that just because something comes easy or is a habit, doesn't mean it's always the best way to show up.Sometimes, it's worth pausing and asking ourselves, “Is this really how I want to respond?” I dive into how our brains get wired over time for certain automatic reactions, like sarcasm or quick replies, and how the speed of today's world makes it even harder to slow down. We're all so used to “instant” responses and moving at the pace of technology, but that doesn't always serve us - or the people we're talking to. I talk about checking in with yourself before you hit send -or- how I like to pause before I open my big fat mouth!

As a mom and host of the Momplex Podcast, I'm passionate about helping other mothers rediscover their joy and confidence. In this episode, I call out the myth that feeling exhausted and overwhelmed is just “mom life.” I share my own struggles with burnout, brain fog, and constant stress, and how I learned to listen to my body's signals. By regulating my nervous system through conscious breathing, movement, grounding, and self-care, I transformed my health and mindset. I encourage you to notice your symptoms, join my free 7-Day Nervous System Reset Challenge, and reach out with what you're experiencing. You don't have to accept feeling drained—healing is possible, and when you prioritize yourself, you set a powerful example for your kids. Let's break the cycle of burnout together and step into our most energized, confident, and joyful lives. I know I gave a few "lists" in this episode but I have shared them with you here. 1. Symptoms of a dysregulated nervous system: - Chronic exhaustion (tired even after sleep) - Brain fog (forgetfulness, confusion) - Mood swings (loss of interest, irritability) - Digestive issues (bloating, constipation, diarrhea, appetite changes) - Sleep struggles (trouble falling/staying asleep, no dreams, waking at 3am) - Anxiety (constant worry, expecting bad news) - Frequent sickness (catching colds easily, slow recovery) - Physical tension (tight jaw, headaches, tense neck/shoulders) - Hormonal shifts (perimenopause effects, feeling weaker) 2. Tips to regulate your nervous system: - Conscious breathing (deep, belly breaths, habit-stacked into daily routines) - Movement (not just exercise—walking, shaking out limbs, dancing, moving during calls) - Grounding (noticing senses: 5 things you see, 4 feel, 3 hear, 2 smell, 1 taste) - Singing and humming (using your voice for regulation) - Pausing before reacting (hand on chest, deep breath, ask how you want to respond) 3. "Nervous system triggered mom moments" (examples of signs you might be dysregulated): - Snack rage (irritation when kids ask for snacks) - Forgetting why you entered a room - Freezing when someone calls "mom" - Anxiety from email/phone notifications - Invisible mental load (remembering everyone's needs, forgetting your own) - Late-night Netflix/revenge procrastination (staying up for alone time) - Overreaction regret (snapping at family, then feeling guilty) - Super stressed shoulders/neck pain - Digestion issues (bloating, unexplained changes) - Waking up at 3am, frequent illness You will also find this Episode Useful: Stop Doomscrolling & Reclaim sleep (end revenge bedtime procrastination) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this podcast, Debra Kasowski talks about something that every one of us experiences at some point: when people project their insecurities onto us. It can feel sharp or dismissive—and really hurt. Pausing and taking a second to think about the situation, " Wait a second...is this about me?" Debra wants you to take notice and recognize projection and to remind you to stay in your power - your truth. You do not have to take on someone else's insecurity, story, or judgment. Stand firm in who you are. www.debrakasowski.com

On the 137th episode of What is a Good Life?, I'm delighted to welcome Diane Button. Diane is a founding partner of the Bay Area End-of-Life Doula Alliance in Northern California, and the best-selling author of Dear Death: Finding Meaning in Life, Peace in Death, and Joy in an Ordinary Day and The Doula Tool Kit: The Complete Practical Guide for End-of-Life Doulas & Caregivers (co-authored with Angela Shook and Gabby Jimenez). She holds a master's degree in Counselling Psychology, works as a practicing end-of-life doula, and serves as a lead instructor in the University of Vermont Larner College of Medicine's End-of-Life Doula Certificate Program. Her latest book is the inspiring What Matters Most.In our conversation, Diane shares the profound insights she has gained through her work, emphasising the power of presence, the value of embracing all emotions, and the joy found in life's simplest moments.Together, we explore how the beauty of ordinary days and the wisdom of those facing death can illuminate what it truly means to live well and meet life's final chapter with grace.For Diane's latest book, What Matters Most:To buy your copy: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/768705/what-matters-most-by-diane-button/About the book: https://www.dianebutton.com/what-matters-mostWebsite: https://www.dianebutton.comContact me at mark@whatisagood.life if you'd like to explore your own lines of self-inquiry through 1-on-1 coaching, my 5-week group courses, or to discuss experiences I create to stimulate greater trust, communication, and connection, amongst your leadership teams.- For the What is a Good Life? podcast's YouTube page: https://www.youtube.com/@whatisagoodlife/videos- My newsletter: https://www.whatisagood.life/- My LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-mccartney-14b0161b4/00:00 Reflections on the book02:10 The depth of the role of an End of Life Doula04:45 Experiencing everything08:44 The cultivation of presence14:00 Pausing and slowing down17:00 An awareness of joy21:20 An expression of gratitude25:30 The process of writing the book31:55 Not waiting to celebrate life36:30 Distilling what matter most40:30 The simple moments43:30 Legacy work with the dying48:00 Regrets over the little things52:30 Self-love, acceptance, and authenticity1:00:00 Comfort with grief and conflicting emotions1:08:00 The importance of our small acts

In this solo episode, Deb Coviello, the Drop-in CEO, shares a heartfelt reflection on the importance of pausing and reassessing your leadership journey. Deb opens up about her own experiences, the challenges leaders face, and the critical need to invest in yourself, stick to your strategy, and avoid burnout. Tune in for actionable insights and stories that will help you lead with intention and leave a lasting legacy. Episode Highlights: [3:00] - The Power of Pausing and Reflecting: Why Deb is changing the podcast format and the importance of slowing down as a leader. [7:30] - Five Leadership Traps: Burnout, tactical overload, lack of self-investment, losing discipline, and feeling lost. [17:50] - Real Stories and Solutions: Deb shares personal and client stories illustrating each leadership trap and how to overcome them. [21:10] - Building Your Legacy: The importance of discipline, self-care, and finding your unique leadership path. For more information about my services or if you just want to connect and have a chat, reach out at: https://dropinceo.com/contact/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Pausing to reflect may be the most important rhythm you can build into your life. In this episode, Stephen and Megan talk about why creating space for reflection matters and share three key benefits you'll experience when you make it part of your month: clarity, growth, and peace. Together, they cast vision for the power of the pause and encourage you to slow down long enough to notice where you've been and where you're going.

It's that time of the year again! | Original Airdate: 23rd August 2025 | Watch it here: https://youtu.be/vWM_X1pC3oE

...in which we open Series 2 of Countrystride by exploring Eycott Hill in the northeast corner of the Lake District National Park – a landscape in recovery. In the company of Kevin Scott, Northern Reserves Manager at Cumbria Wildlife Trust, we learn about the reserve's extraordinary transformation – from near-monocultural sheep pasture to a thriving upland patchwork of wildflower meadows, species-rich acid grassland, marshes and mires. Setting out from the botanically-rich hay meadows – in late summer bloom – we consider whether traditional management techniques might be augmented for wildlife by swapping the mower for cattle. Pausing at a badger sett and heather stands – that bloomed again the moment sheep made way for Belties – we learn about the hill's unusual geology, and how that has shaped its diverse range of habitats. Summiting the lowly Birkett of Eycott Hill, we marvel at the 270 degree panorama, get soaked in an unforecast shower, then get reflective, asking whether the concept of the shifting baseline is still relevant in conservation, why the economics of traditional sheep farming no longer work, and why 'rewilding' is a term Kevin avoids. We close by reflecting on what the transformation of the hill can teach us about approaches to land management elsewhere in the Lakes. More about Eycott Hill from CWT: cumbriawildlifetrust.org.uk/nature-reserves/eycott-hill

Walmart (WMT) was under pressure after its earnings Thursday when it showed a rare earnings miss. However, as Jenny Horne notes, the company raised its full-year outlook. She talks about Walmart's extensive report and the signal it issues for the retail space and markets as a whole. On the A.I. front, Jenny explains Meta Platforms' (META) hiring freeze after it shelled out millions of dollars to pull top talent onto its team.======== Schwab Network ========Empowering every investor and trader, every market day. Subscribe to the Market Minute newsletter - https://schwabnetwork.com/subscribeDownload the iOS app - https://apps.apple.com/us/app/schwab-network/id1460719185Download the Amazon Fire Tv App - https://www.amazon.com/TD-Ameritrade-Network/dp/B07KRD76C7Watch on Sling - https://watch.sling.com/1/asset/191928615bd8d47686f94682aefaa007/watchWatch on Vizio - https://www.vizio.com/en/watchfreeplus-exploreWatch on DistroTV - https://www.distro.tv/live/schwab-network/Follow us on X – https://twitter.com/schwabnetworkFollow us on Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/schwabnetworkFollow us on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/company/schwab-network/ About Schwab Network - https://schwabnetwork.com/about

I'm back for another solo episode today after a little bit of a summer break. I gathered some of your most common questions from my workshops, coaching sessions, and social media comments. In this episode I'm walking you through a few of the struggles that share a common thread and giving insight into what makes these things difficult for parents and how to work through them.Kids Who Don't Like LosingThere are a lot of triggers for parents that come along with having a child who doesn't like to lose which can cause eggshell parenting.When your child struggles to deal with something like disappointment or frustration, the answer is always that they need to experience it more often.Your reaction to their emotions as a parent is so important. Staying regulated in the moment will help deescalate the situation.Lectures don't work. You're helping them learn the life skill of tolerating frustration and managing the emotions that come with the frustration. Public OutburstsWe sense all of the people in a public situation and it usually feels much more judgmental in our minds than it actually is because of insecurities. When our ability to parent is tethered to our child's behavior, it makes things very difficult.Make an action plan and practice getting cooperation at home so your child is prepared when you do a test run in public. Set your kids up for success so you aren't trying to complete tasks when they're already over tired, hungry, etc.PARR This was created for anyone who needs to work through managing their own emotions and reactions. Pausing is an important reminder that we can take the time to slow down and not make rapid fire decisions in the moment.Always reflect on “what does my child need at this moment?” You know your child best and can better understand their needs when you have paused.When Your Kids Don't ListenWe rely on the idea that if our kids have the knowledge, they will react or behave appropriately. This simply isn't true because their brains aren't developed in this way yet.Kids are wondering “what happens when…” and they are curious what the outcome will be on the other side of their behavior. Once they know the action that is paired with your language is consistent, they will start listening better.We need to remember kids are simple and we usually overcomplicate things.Resources: Getting Your Kids to Listen the First Time You Ask Workshop: https://www.theparentingreframe.com/shop/p/getting-your-kids-to-listen-the-first-time-you-ask Four Reaction Types Podcast Episode: https://theparentingreframe.simplecast.com/episodes/beyond-good-or-bad-the-3-parental-reaction-blueprintsSchedule a free call about my 1:1 coaching, Reclaim Your Calm - https://www.theparentingreframe.com/coachingBe sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe 

Paint the Night pausing in November.  News coming later this week?Send us a textTwitter/X Handles:Dizhappenings: https://twitter.com/dizhappeningsShaun: https://twitter.com/rankingthemouseMatt: https://twitter.com/mattpetoBefore/After Watch Music in Dizhappenings copyrighted by Audio Jungle

In this episode of Mission Matters, Adam Torres interviews Charles Achampong, Executive in Residence at Capacity Canada. Charles discusses his new book Around the World in Family Days, born from an eight-month sabbatical with his family. He shares how the experience reshaped his outlook, strengthened family bonds, and sparked a mission to teach others about the transformative power of pausing. Follow Adam on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/askadamtorres/ for up to date information on book releases and tour schedule. Apply to be a guest on our podcast: https://missionmatters.lpages.co/podcastguest/ Visit our website: https://missionmatters.com/ More FREE content from Mission Matters here: https://linktr.ee/missionmattersmedia Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pausing during a tough project might seem counterintuitive, but it could lead to breakthroughs. Join Brian Wade and Angela Walker to explore how this summer could be the perfect time for a strategic pause, helping you return stronger and more prepared for future challenges.Get in touch Visit us at tignum.com Email us at contact@tignum.com Think clearer. Show up better. Maximize impact.

IVF is taking a pause while Cam gets surgery and Taryn shares about her own upcoming surgery. The girls read listener 'hot takes' and decide if they agree or disagree with them. send us your gossip stories or ask for advice!call the PP hotline 323-577-8857 or email us at stayinguppod@gmail.comJoin our Patreon: http://patreon.com/StayingUpJoin our Discord: https://discord.gg/am5t7kZTdRListen: https://stayingup.lnk.to/listenFollow: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stayinguppodFollow Cam: https://www.instagram.com/cammiescott/Follow Tar: https://www.instagram.com/thetarynarnold/Contact for business inquires only:maddy@mpactgroupla.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join Rabbi Joey Rosenfeld as he guides us through the world and major works of Kabbalah, Hasidic masters, and Jewish philosophy, shedding light on the inner life of the soul. To learn more, visit InwardTorah.org

Send us a textWelcome to Permission to Pause--I am excited to share this episode with you about PAUSING to consider the health of a happy marriage! with my friend ARLENE PELLICANE .Arlene is a speaker, host of the Happy Home podcast, and author of several books including Parents Rising, Making Marriage Easier, and Screen Kids (coauthored with Dr. Gary Chapman). Arlene has been featured on popular media outlets including The Today Show, Fox & Friends, Focus on the Family, FamilyLife Today, The 700 Club, and the Wall Street Journal. She is the spokesperson for National Marriage Week and has been happily married to her husband, James, for more than 25 years. Arlene earned her BA from Biola University and her master's in journalism from Regent University. Arlene inspires parents to raise children who are ready for life (not just playing video games). As an advocate of delaying smartphones and social media, her three children are living a revolutionary digital life and thriving. Arlene lives with her family in San Diego. To learn more, visit ArlenePellicane.com.Thank you for joining me on today's Permission to Pause. I would love to hear from you!For comments and episode suggestions contact pat@patlayton.netI'd love to have you vsist my BLOG to join the conversation at patlayton.net Join the conversation via my blog at www.patlayton.net PLUS my IG REELS https://www.instagram.com/patlayton/reels/Find DEEPER DIVE Pause notes and LOTS OF FREE RESOURCES here. Again! Thank you for Pausing with me!

Did you know grief can significantly lower your vibrational energy? In this episode of Infinite Life, Infinite Wisdom, Susan talks about how fear and grief shape your behaviour often without you realizing it. She explains how grief doesn't always come from major loss. It can creep in during small, everyday moments. And when it does, you might find yourself fixing others, oversharing, or avoiding what you actually feel. She shares real experiences, including how it felt to have her work used without permission. Instead of reacting, she paused. That simple shift helped her respond clearly, without getting pulled into emotion. She also talks about giving trust too easily and the fallout that can bring. There's a close look at codependency. Not in theory, but in how it shows up: avoiding conflict, hiding what you think, or needing someone else's approval. Her message is simple. Your job is to take care of yourself first. Susan also shares a quick update about her book, Infinite Life, Infinite Lessons, including how to get a bonus chapter and join a live Zoom event. She closes with a reminder worth hearing: speak clearly, stay honest with yourself, and pay more attention to how you respond than what others do. In This Episode: [00:55] Topic introduction [01:52] Reaction vs. response in emotional situations [03:45] Fear as both protector and destroyer [06:02] Codependency and trust issues [13:25] How codependency can lead to betrayal [15:47] Responding to emotional harm from others [17:11] Pausing as a healing practice [18:48] Spiritual abundance vs. lack-based behavior [21:40] Rose-colored glasses and learning to see clearly [23:28] Speaking truth without expectation [30:05] Learning through rejection and self-worth [32:10] The balance between selfishness and selflessness [34:41] Infinite Soul Sanctuary and continued spiritual growth Notable Quotes [01:16] "Grief is a monster all its own. It can be a loss as simple as our cat gets sick to losing our favorite backpack." – Susan [02:25] "Fear has been a friend in some ways... but it also can be our nemesis." – Susan [04:19] "Nothing I've ever done that was simple, was easy. In fact, life isn't easy." – Susan [09:41] "Being right never made me happy. I thought it would, but it didn't." – Susan Susan Grau Susan Grau is an internationally celebrated intuitive life coach, a key opinion leader, author, medium and speaker, who discovered her ability to communicate with the spirit world after a near-death experience at age four. Susan is a Reiki Master, hypnotherapist, and grief expert. Her new book, "Infinite Life, Infinite Lessons," published by Hay House, explores healing from grief and the afterlife. With media coverage in GOOP, Elle, and The Hollywood Reporter, Susan's expertise extends to podcasts, radio shows, and documentaries. She offers private mediumship readings, life path guidance, reiki sessions, and hypnotherapy, aiding individuals in healing and finding spiritual guidance. Infinite Life, Infinite Wisdom Podcast  Infinite Life, Infinite Wisdom Susan Grau Website Order  Facebook Instagram YouTube TikTok Mentioned Infinite Life, Infinite Lessons  Wisdom from the Spirit World on Living, Dying, and the In-Between  by Susan Grau Upcoming Books: Infinite Healing: Wisdom from the Spirit World on facing the Shadows that Bind Us The Spirit Code: Cracking the Hidden Language of the Afterlife

Send us a textINTRO TIME! Hey there, badasses! It's been a minute… actually, since July 3rd. Life, family, and business hit me all at once, and I had to hit the brakes. But here's the thing—pausing isn't quitting. It's protecting your energy so you can show up for what matters most.In this episode, I'm opening up about why I pressed pause, what it taught me, and how YOU can give yourself the same permission when life gets chaotic. Whether you're running a service-based business or balancing a million life demands, this conversation will help you see “the pause” as a strategic power move—not a setback.

Welcome back to OT Yourself to Freedom! In this soul-nourishing episode, I'm joined by Kelsey, an inspiring OT, entrepreneur, and deeply intuitive human for a conversation about the power of the pause. Together we unpack what it means to trust yourself, how to honour your own timing in business, and why rest can be a radical act of alignment. Kelsey shares how she navigated uncertainty, release, and recalibration in her business journey, and how she came out the other side clearer, stronger, and more in tune with what freedom really means. Whether you're in a season of hustle, healing, or holding, this episode is a permission slip to trust the wisdom within. Listen in as we explore: Letting go of the pressure to always be doing Why spaciousness is often where the magic happens How Kelsey embraced a season of pause without guilt Learning to listen to your body, not just your business plan The importance of building safety within your nervous system for long-term sustainability Free Resource: Download Beki's free overnight mindset meditation for free to help you build confidence, overcome money mindset challenges, and develop self-belief. Join OT Yourself To Freedom Membership: Discover the only membership designed specifically for OTs to create freedom-based businesses by leveraging the skills you already have. Learn to design and sell offers, market effectively, and align your work with your purpose. Connect with Beki Are you ready to leave the whinger mindset behind and embrace your inner go-getter? Beki helps OTs worldwide design, launch, and scale their online businesses. Learn how to tap into your purpose and create an offer that sells with ease.. Follow Beki: Website: www.bekieakins.com Instagram: OT Yourself to Freedom Facebook Group: OT Freedom Community LinkedIn: Beki Eakins Book an Inspiration Call: Click here Meet Kelsey – a woman who beautifully weaves together her clinical expertise with deep intuitive wisdom. Through her work at B.well tots, she supports families with a holistic, nurturing approach to child development and lactation, while also guiding fellow OTs in building a business rooted in alignment, nervous system regulation, and self-trust. Connect with Kelsey: Facebook: @kelsey.baker1 Instagram: @bwelltots Website: bweltots.com Main Topic: [4:13] – "The Power of Pausing" [10:45] – "Building Safety in the Nervous System" [15:26] – "Trusting the Season You're In" [22:08] – "Letting Go of the Hustle Mindset" [27:33] – "Running a Business with Heart" About the Podcast OT Yourself To Freedom Podcast helps occupational therapists create a life and business they love. Host Beki Eakins shares practical tips, strategies, and real-world stories to inspire your journey to freedom Love this episode? Subscribe to OT Yourself to Freedom and leave a review! Your feedback helps more OTs break free from burnout and build a business they love.

In this episode of Building Better Developers with AI, hosts Rob Broadhead and Michael Meloche revisit the theme of using the pivot—the skill of embracing change in software development. Reframing a prior episode "Pivoting - How to Embrace Change and Fuel Your Professional Growth" using AI-generated prompts, the hosts explore how developers can navigate career shifts, respond to market signals, and avoid burnout. What Does It Mean to Pivot? A pivot is a strategic change in direction—not a failure. Whether it's shifting from front-end to AI, or moving from software dev to project management, a pivot is about refining your path with the benefit of experience. “Pivoting is not quitting. It's evolving based on feedback, clarity, and vision.” Rob explains that the tech world is full of transferable skills. Moving from Java to C# is often more of a translation than a complete reset. When you view your experience as a foundation, pivoting becomes a launchpad—not a setback. Michael's Pivot from Pre-Med to Tech Michael shares his deeply personal journey—from aspiring surgeon to software engineer. A strong aversion to needles ended his medical ambitions, but his hobby in video games and computers opened a new door. Back when becoming a game developer wasn't mainstream, he chose the broader field of IT. Exploring networking, database development, and programming helped him discover his passions. That exploration, he says, is key to finding the right professional path. “Try everything. Stick with it long enough to learn—then pivot if it doesn't fit.” Knowing When to Pivot Rob introduces the concept of market signals—changes in demand, relevance, or growth within a technology. He uses a bell curve to illustrate how tech rises, plateaus, and declines. Pivoting at the plateau allows for smooth transitions and consistent momentum. Watch for: Fewer job postings in your stack Stagnant growth in your role New interests pulling you elsewhere User or revenue decline in your product or business Michael also highlights burnout as a major internal signal. Decreased energy, productivity, and interest could indicate it's time to shift your focus—or your role. Developer Challenge: Plan Your Pivot Take 30 minutes this week to reflect on your current career trajectory. Ask yourself: Am I still learning and growing? Is this technology or role still relevant? What excites me outside of my current focus? Then identify one small experiment—a course, a meetup, a tool—to explore that new direction. Pivoting doesn't have to be drastic. Small steps often lead to significant transformation. Pivoting as a Business and Personal Strategy The hosts explain that pivots also occur in business. You may need to adjust your target market, tech stack, or pricing model. These aren't signs of failure—they're signs of adaptation. The podcast itself has pivoted over the years—from a solo show to interviews, from foundational topics to AI-driven insights. As Rob puts it, every successful creator has a pivot story—or several. “Sometimes the market doesn't reject you—it redirects you.” Final Thoughts: Change is Growth Pivoting is a crucial aspect of adapting to change in software development. Whether it's motivated by market forces, personal growth, or burnout recovery, change helps you stay relevant—and sane—in a fast-moving industry. Keep learning. Stay adaptable. And remember: the path you're on doesn't have to be the one you finish on. Stay Connected: Join the Developreneur Community We invite you to join our community and share your coding journey with us. Whether you're a seasoned developer or just starting, there's always room to learn and grow together. Contact us at info@develpreneur.com with your questions, feedback, or suggestions for future episodes. Together, let's continue exploring the exciting world of software development. Additional Resources Finding Balance: The Importance of Pausing and Pivoting in Tech Avoid Burnout – Give Time To Yourself Switching Jobs – When and How to Change Jobs Mastering Skills In Under Ten Thousand Hours The Developer Journey Videos – With Bonus Content Building Better Developers With AI Podcast Videos – With Bonus Content

San Antonio Mayor Gina Ortiz Jones joins TPR's The Source to discuss Project Marvel and the possibility of hitting pause on the negotiations for a new downtown home for the Spurs and the development of a sports and entertainment district.

This talk was given by Diana Clark on 2025.08.04 at the Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA. ******* For more talks like this, visit AudioDharma.org ******* If you have enjoyed this talk, please consider supporting AudioDharma with a donation at https://www.audiodharma.org/donate/. ******* This talk is licensed by a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 4.0 License

In this episode of 'SuperPsyched,' Dr. Adam Dorsay, a psychologist in Silicon Valley, engages in an enriching conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon. As a psychologist, author, and professor, Dr. Solomon delves into the multi-faceted nuances of relationships, emphasizing the importance of quality connections in our lives. They discuss her influential books, 'Loving Bravely' and 'Love Every Day,' which provide practical relationship tips and insights. The conversation explores why love and relationships are crucial to our well-being, the stigma around couples therapy, and the importance of mutual understanding and vulnerability in partnerships. They also touch on the impact of societal expectations and the necessity for growth and adaptability within relationships. The episode offers valuable takeaways on how individuals can better relate to themselves and others, underscoring that there are no failures in relationships, only completions.00:00 Welcome to SuperPsyched01:03 Introducing Dr. Alexandra Solomon02:10 The Importance of Relationships05:39 The Role of Couples Therapy10:03 Commitment and Sacrifice in Relationships12:40 Personal Growth Through Relationships18:44 Mutuality and Synergy in Partnerships20:42 Understanding Emotional Expression in Relationships20:50 The Importance of Mutual Support23:19 Interdependence vs. Codependence23:58 Navigating Shame and Rejection25:06 Effective Communication Strategies26:49 The Power of Pausing and Walking27:17 Handling Grievances and Misunderstandings31:44 The Role of Timing and Attunement34:29 Reframing Relationship Endings38:44 The Gift of Taking Ourselves LightlyHelpful Links:Dr. Alexandra SolomonNorthwestern University BioReimagining Love Podcast

Listen to this Episode If You:

Just because you're speaking fast, doesn't mean you're speaking fluently. Fluency is not about speed. Fluency is about rhythm.  It's about sounding natural — with the right pauses, the right tone, and the right feeling. Today, I want to help you speak more naturally by focusing on something that native speakers do all the time — even if they don't realize it. And that is: Thought Groups.Use FREE: My AI English TutorJoin my Podcast Learner's Study Group here: https://learn.myhappyenglish.com/transcriptVisit my website for over 3,000 free English lessons: https://www.myhappyenglish.com/

I'm hitting pause on The Mister Productivity Podcast—but not on helping you get clear, focused, and moving forward.For the next 100 days, I'm going all-in on something faster, more direct, and in a way you can use immediately—my daily clarity email, The Productive Life.Every day, you'll get one short, practical insight to help you cut through the noise, focus on what matters, and take intentional action—delivered straight to your inbox. No fluff. No waiting for the next episode to drop.➡ Join here: MisterProductivity.comI'll reassess in 90 days and share what's next. In the meantime, thank you for listening, supporting, and taking action. See you in your inbox tomorrow.

Send us a textThere have been seasons in my life when I've felt completely uncertain about my next step. Times when I prayed for neon signs, and all I got was a whisper. Times when everything around me looked good on the outside, but my soul was tired of guessing my way forward.That's what led me to create a brand-new devotional resource called A Quiet Moment — it's a 7-FREE day journey into clarity, direction, and purpose. And it's not just for “when life falls apart.” It's for those in-between seasons… the ones that feel foggy and quiet… when we're longing to hear God's voice again.Each day includes one scripture — like Psalm 119:105:“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.”Not a floodlight… not a spotlight… a lamp. Just enough light for the next step.GRAB the FREE PDF and many more freebies from my website at www.patlayton.net Thank you for joining me on today's Permission to Pause. I would love to hear from you!For comments and episode suggestions contact pat@patlayton.netI'd love to have you vsist my BLOG to join the conversation at patlayton.net Join the conversation via my blog at www.patlayton.net PLUS my IG REELS https://www.instagram.com/patlayton/reels/Find DEEPER DIVE Pause notes and LOTS OF FREE RESOURCES here. Again! Thank you for Pausing with me!

On a brief pause to catch up with the sources on Sekigahara, the latest members' episode on http://patreon.com/riversidewings , and more.Script and sources available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://riverside-wings.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Subscribe to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Riversidewings on Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or buy ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠some merch at Fourthwall⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. (Music is "Shinshun Ryoutei," "Kyoto no Ohayashi," "Hokora Uta," and "Yamagami no Yashiro," from 「MOMIZizm MUSiC（もみじば）｜フリーBGM 」)

Most executives wish for more hours in a day, with about 80% reportingexhaustion from excessive meetings and feeling unable to focus on their moststrategic work, according to an Atlassian study published by Harvard BusinessReview. Michelle (Melin) Niemeyer, keynote speaker and workshop facilitator,experienced burnout during her demanding legal career but recovered bydeveloping "The Art of Bending Time." After being diagnosed with arare autoimmune disease, she became a certified health coach, studied functionalmedicine, and learned from thought leaders in psychology and leadership. Thisholistic approach helped her reclaim joy and productivity, and now she sharesit to help others gain time, reduce stress, achieve health improvements, anddesign fulfilling lives—without quitting their jobs. Clients often reportgaining at least ten additional productive hours each week and see positivechanges both personally and professionally.Text Clarity To: 33777

In this episode, Andy Hill sits down with LendingTree's Matt Schulz to break down the real price tag of parenting in 2024 (spoiler: nearly $300K!). They cover rising childcare costs, smart savings strategies, and how your budget can survive the baby years. Then, financial planner Madison Sharick shares how she and her husband hit Coast FIRE in their 30s — while raising two young kids!

We thought “self-leadership” was just a corporate thing, until we realized it's the missing piece for women building real businesses and meaningful lives. In this episode, Brin'na Rollins-Williams shares how she walked away from a six-figure career at Target to reclaim her wholeness, voice, and legacy and how women entrepreneurs can do the same without burning out.   This episode will walk you through a lesson on Self-Leadership…that is so needed in entrepreneurship.    

Send us a textCharles Achampong shares his family's transformative experience taking a seven-month global sabbatical and the valuable life lessons they gained by stepping away from their structured lives. His book "Around the World in Family Days" captures not just their adventures across eight countries, but the profound insights about presence, connection, and finding joy in simplicity that can be applied to everyday life without leaving home.• Following a dream sparked during their honeymoon in Brazil 13 years earlier• Planning and saving for 10 years through intentional choices like cooking at home and limiting extras• Covering 75% of flight costs through loyalty points and offsetting expenses by renting their home• Transforming travel into education by creating country-specific learning binders• Using real-world experiences like market haggling as practical learning opportunities• Discovering that happiness doesn't depend on material wealth in places like the Philippines• Learning that "you don't need a passport to pause" - finding presence in everyday moments• Building "failure immunity" - not immunity to failure but to its emotional impact• Creating connection through simple actions like neighborhood traditions• Approaching travel not to "see everything" but to deeply experience each placeFind Charles Achampong's book "Around the World in Family Days" on Amazon or Barnes & Noble, and connect with him on Instagram @aroundtheworldinfamilydays or on his website charlesachampong.com. Order Stephanie's new book Imagine More: Do What You Love, Discover Your Potential Learn more at StephanieNelson.comFollow us on Instagram @stephanie_nelson_cmFollow us on Facebook at CouponMom

Right now, pause to focus on praise to start this week!

Facilitator: SandhyaTopics:  2 finger double tap not working; How to end call on WhatsApp with Iris;  Issue with ending dictation and it not repeating back since update;  How to block a contact;  How to get a passcode in a link  while on phone; issues with using Oticon hearing aids;  Sharing an invitation on the calendar;  How to do a search for certain people; how to restart phone without shutting down; How to share the iBUG link; Issues using the context menu on Disney App; Image of credit card showing up on phone;  Where to send iByte suggestions?;  What come out from Apple new at the convention; Issues using the focus feature for Health;  Moth/media will turn on by itself;  Restarting a device with ;  How to start a facetime on Android;  Pausing recording in voice memos;  Recommendations on Journaling app; Recommendation for phone cases for those with poor dexterity;  Recommendations for recording apps;  Issue with volume fluctuating; Facebook feeds auto plays;  What does the double tap and hold?;  Using Speed dots?iBytes: Sandhya:  Deleting a specific email or multiple email messages

In this episode, Stephen Martin discusses the challenges of communication in relationships, particularly for those with dyslexia and ADHD. He shares five essential tips to improve communication and understanding between partners, emphasizing the importance of recognizing different communication styles, the need for pauses before interruptions, the value of scheduled check-ins, managing emotional reactions, and clarifying assumptions to avoid misunderstandings. Through personal anecdotes and insights, he aims to help listeners navigate their relationships more effectively.TakeawaysRelationships can be tough for neurodiverse individuals.Love and relationships require ongoing effort and communication.Understanding each other's communication styles is crucial.Pausing before interrupting can improve conversations.Scheduled check-ins help counter emotional invisibility.Dyslexics may struggle with emotional object permanence.Overreactions can escalate if not managed early.Clarifying assumptions can prevent misunderstandings.Visual thinking can lead to different interpretations of conversations.Communication errors often stem from differing mental pictures.Keywordscommunication, relationships, dyslexia, ADHD, neurodiversity, emotional intelligence, check-ins, overreactions, communication styles, mental pictures,  adults with dyslexia, support for adults.If you want to find out more visit:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠truthaboutdyslexia.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Facebook Group⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠facebook.com/groups/adultdyslexia⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow the RightSiders Supplement Journey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠rightsiders.org/wait-list ⁠

Get my new book: https://bronsonequity.com/fireyourselfDownload my new special report - How to Use Inflation to Your Advantage - www.bronsonequity.com/inflationWelcome to our latest episode!Break free from fear and discover your purpose through small, intentional steps. Join host Bronson Hill and co-host Nate Hambrick, author of The 18 Laws of Leverage, for a transformative conversation with Julie DeLucca-Collins, Chief Innovation Officer, certified Tiny Habits coach, and author of Confident You. From her roots as a teacher to climbing the corporate ladder as a VP and C-suite executive, Julie faced the “friendnemy” of comfort that kept her stuck—until a layoff during the pandemic forced her to embrace change and launch her coaching business. Now, she empowers women and others to leave jobs they hate, build confidence through tiny habits, and pursue passion-driven lives. Sharing insights on reframing failure, finding “believing mirrors,” and creating systems to navigate setbacks, Julie offers practical strategies to move from stuck to unstoppable.TIMESTAMPS00:41 - Introduction: Embracing change for freedom 02:03 - Guest intro: Julie DeLucca-Collins journey 04:21 - Corporate traps: The Peter Principle and golden handcuffs 06:11 - Brené Brown's arena: Daring greatly despite setbacks 08:20 - Steps to quit: Building passive income and confidence 10:24 - Tiny habits: Starting small for big change 12:12 - Empowering women: Representation and believing mirrors 14:49 - Possibility vs. threat: Rewiring mindset for growth 17:19 - Leaning into failure: Becoming a badass through rejection 20:58 - Questioning stories: Shifting from stuck to possibility 22:38 - Falling and rising: Lessons from Bonnie St. John 26:07 - Faith and resilience: Coaching through life's setbacks 30:28 - Finding purpose: Passion, proficiency, and values 35:42 - Tiny habits in action: Pausing to recalibrate 37:52 - Connect with Julie: Website and resources 39:52 - Key takeaways: Friendnemy behavior and purpose-driven lifeConnect with the Guest:Website: https://goconfidentlycoaching.com/#EmbraceChange#FindYourPurpose#TinyHabits#FinancialFreedom#WomenEmpowerment#ReframeFailure#FriendnemyBehavior

Episode 94: Growing Up Your Business, Part 2 – The Strategic Power of PausingIn Part 2 of our Growing Up Your Business series, Patrick and Patsy dive into a bold but often overlooked strategy for growth: pausing on purpose.While the instinct to “push forward at all costs” feels natural in fast-moving companies, it can backfire when your foundation—leadership, structure, clarity, and process—isn't ready to support scale. This episode reframes the decision to pause growth not as failure, but as a strategic, courageous move that sets the stage for lasting success.Patrick shares a compelling story of a CEO who halted an aggressive growth plan after recognizing the team wasn't ready—an act that ultimately led to stronger, more sustainable results.You'll also learn about the Organizational Maturity Litmus Test, a practical tool to help leaders assess readiness for growth. If your organization is stuck in constant firefighting, relitigating decisions, or relying too heavily on top leadership, this episode is a must-listen.✅ Explore:Why pausing growth can accelerate long-term successCommon red flags that signal organizational immaturityHow to shift your mindset from chasing momentum to building itKey questions every leader should ask before scalingThis episode challenges senior leaders to take a hard look at where their organization stands—and what it takes to grow the right way.Follow us on Instagram: @thefrustratedceopodcast TikTok:   @TheFrustratedCEOPodcast  Contact us: info@thelyonsgroupconsulting.comWebsite: Frustrated CEOSocial: LinkedIn instagram: @thefrustratedceopodcast tiktok: @thefrustratedceopodcast

Are you waiting to engage support until next month or next quarter when your gut (and the numbers!) tell you that profitability is already headed in a bad direction? Tune in to this week's episode as Jamie welcomes Adin Bradley to dissect the many reasons owners get stuck and the costly outcomes of waiting to fix the issues that negatively impact the value of their businesses.

Hey friend, This is a bittersweet announcement for the Shades of Trauma Healing podcast. The podcast will be pausing for a while as God calls me to a new season and a significant pivot in my journey. Serving you through this podcast has been an immense blessing, and I'm incredibly grateful for every one of you who has tuned in, shared your reviews, and embarked on your healing journey with me. My deepest prayer is that you've taken action on what you've learned and are well on your way to experiencing the freedom and peace that comes with healing from trauma. While the podcast is taking a break, please know that my commitment to supporting your healing remains steadfast, just in a new form. You can always stay in touch and see what's next by connecting with me through the links below. Thank you for everything, and remember, your healing is worth it.

This is episode 9 of my other podcast: It's Okay If… Permission Slips for Mental Health, Self-Acceptance, and Growth---Doing nothing can feel uncomfortable, especially when you care deeply about your work, your goals, or the people you're showing up for. But sometimes, pushing through becomes too much.This short reflection is a reminder that rest isn't laziness.Taking a break isn't a failure.Pausing doesn't mean you've given up – it means you're listening to what you need.If you're feeling the weight of burnout, this is your permission slip to stop producing for a moment, to let things breathe, and to remember that stillness is its own kind of strength.Subscribe to It's Okay If... https://its-okay-if.captivate.fm/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this 7-minute episode, I open up about why I've been quiet on the podcast lately, and why learning to honor our nervous system, especially during emotionally charged times, is such a powerful act of self-love.I explore what it means to extend grace to ourselves when we don't have the capacity to "do it all," and how uncomfortable (but necessary) it can be to put our own well-being first, especially if you've been conditioned to people-please or overachieve.We talk about the courage it takes to say, “This is what I have capacity for today, and that is enough."And I close by sharing details about our upcoming Tuscany Self-Worth & Sisterhood Retreat; a space intentionally created for rest, healing, and deep reconnection.♾ In a fast-paced world like the one we live in, time is one of our most important assets. For a few minutes every episode, I, Tannaz Hosseinpour, will be discussing topics that aim to enhance the quality of your life, by helping you feel empowered to take inspired action on your personal growth journey.Connect with me for daily insights on:InstagramTikTokFacebookTo sign up to the upcoming Tuscany retreat from August 18-23, click hereMore resources available on : www.minutesongrowth.comThis podcast is for educational purposes only. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein.

Welcome back to Spirit of EQ! In this episode, Eric here. IIn this episode, I look into the powerful connection between emotional intelligence and curiosity. I've been thinking a lot about how curiosity isn't just a personality trait—it's a vital tool that can open the doors to learning, enrich our relationships, and help us truly understand ourselves and others. Drawing from my own experiences and practical examples, I unpack how curiosity ties into key emotional intelligence competencies like recognizing patterns, intrinsic motivation, and empathy.I'll share some personal insights on how easy it is to slip into judgment, and why being intentional in my conversations, especially by asking open-ended questions, has made such a difference, even with people I might not always see eye to eye with or those I may have taken for granted. If you're looking for ways to strengthen your connections or become a lifelong learner, you'll find something valuable in this episode. Slow down, shift gears, and discover the transformative power of curiosity in our everyday lives.Here are my top 3 takeaways:Curiosity Strengthens Relationships: By taking a genuine interest in others—especially those closest to us—we reinforce our connections and communicate how much we value them.Intentional Practice Drives Growth: Being curious, especially in tough situations or with people we disagree with, takes intentional, sometimes uncomfortable work. Leaning into open-ended questions helps us gather better data, not just quick judgments.Curiosity Fuels Self-Awareness & Empathy: It's closely linked to recognizing our own patterns, intrinsic motivation, and building empathy. Pausing and seeking to understand rather than rushing to react makes us better listeners, colleagues, and leaders.Memorable Moments00:00 Intrinsic Motivation and Empathy Explored05:18 Curiosity in Meaningful Interactions10:29 Nurturing Close Relationships Intentionally13:04 "Curiosity Enhances Business Connections"16:51 "Intentional Work in Relationships"19:02 "Building Takes Time and Effort"In each episode, Jeff and Eric will talk about what emotional intelligence, or understanding your emotions, can do for you in your daily and work life. For more information, contact Eric or Jeff at info@spiritofeq.com, or go to their website, Spirit of EQ.You can follow The Spirit of EQ Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Android, or on your favorite podcast player.New episodes are available on the 2nd and 4th Wednesdays every month!Please review our podcast on iTunes. Click on the link for an easy, step-by-step tutorial.Music from Uppbeathttps://uppbeat.io/t/roo-walker/deeperLicense code: PEYKDJHQNGSZXDUEhttps://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/4.0/Spirit of EQ We hope you enjoy the podcast. Hopefully, you're tuning in on a regular basis. We'd love it if you would give us a great review on whatever platform you're listening to the podcast. It's so appreciative and helps us as we try to get more exposure for the work we do and the episodes that we publish. We're grateful to you as a listener. Secondly, our content is for...

In this solo episode of 'Don't Cut Your Own Bangs,' Danielle Ireland dives into key lessons from her recent therapy sessions, emphasizing the importance of relationships. She explores how the drive to 'win' an argument often results in everyone losing, the power of genuine apologies over hollow ones, and the significance of understanding rather than feigned confusion. Danielle also shares personal insights and practical steps to navigate relationship conflicts with compassion and kindness, while promoting her journaling tool, 'Treasured,' aimed at deepening personal growth and self-awareness.   00:00 Introduction and Purpose of the Solo Cast 01:47 Lessons from Therapy Sessions: Relationship Edition 03:03 Winning or Losing in Arguments 08:30 The Power of Pausing and Reflecting 14:23 Hollow Apologies and True Acknowledgment 18:02 Understanding and the Desire to Change 23:07 Final Thoughts and Encouragement RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE TO “DON'T CUT YOUR OWN BANGS”  Like your favorite recipe or song, the best things in life are shared. When you rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, your engagement helps me connect  with other listeners just like you. Plus, subscriptions just make life easier for everybody. It's one less thing for you to think about and you can easily keep up to date on everything that's new. So, please rate, review, and subscribe today.    DANIELLE IRELAND, LCSW I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below.   Website: https://danielleireland.com/   The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal   Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/   Blog: https://danielleireland.com/blog/   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW   Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@danielleireland8218/featured Transcript Winning Isn't Everything: Lessons from Therapy Sessions [00:00:00] Hello. Hello, this is Danielle Ireland and you are listening to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs Today. I am coming at you with a solo cast. These are so fun for me for many reasons. it's like a living, breathing journal where I can process things that are happening in my life or things that I've learned with clients and therapy sessions or just new aha things or whatever's really exciting for me. [00:00:28] I get an opportunity to put those in a place. I have been having some really juicy, juicy therapy sessions with clients over the last couple weeks, and what I've started to do, There are moments when I'm in a session with a client and I'm taking notes or I'm listening to something they're processing or something will fly outta my mouth, just improvised in the moment and I will think to myself, damn. [00:00:52] That was a tasty dish that was really interesting or that was super poignant, or I get like full body chills and I don't really know exactly what to do with the information, but I wanna put it somewhere. And so what has ended up happening over the years is I'll scribble something on a post-it note or I'll scratch something at the top of the client note to try to revisit later. [00:01:15] Sometimes in previous lives I've written them into blog forms or just brought them up with my husband over dinner thinking this. And actually little sneak peek behind the curtain. That is one of the ways, one of the first ways that the title for wrestling a walrus came to me. [00:01:34] It happened in a therapy session. I'm pretty sure I used it just as a way to iterate whatever the client was processing or experiencing in the moment. I wrote it down and it just stuck with me. And there's lots of moments like that. And so what we're gonna talk about today in this solo cast is lessons from sessions, but the ones that are really focused in on relationships. [00:01:58] So this is the lessons from Sessions, relationship edition, solocast, and. The only thing that's ever shared, in this podcast space is the. [00:02:12] Lessons that are gleaned, the takeaways that we can all find value from in the human experience, not personal anecdotes, addresses, names, identifiable characteristics, nothing like that. The point is not to out anybody at all. One that would be terribly unethical and I would lose my license for it. [00:02:32] But also just on a human level that feels ick. That feels really icky. I think that anybody who's curious about therapy or anyone who is in therapy, but wondered what it would be like in someone else's session. There is this innate curiosity of, is anyone else dealing with this too? [00:02:48] Has anyone else ever thought this also, or what do you do when you face this? That is, I think, a healthy, normal, reasonable curiosity I love that there's a place to share that. So yeah, we're gonna talk about relationships. So winning or losing in the context of relationships, particularly in an argument, if the goal is to win or if, if the goal is to not lose. [00:03:15] Depends on what side you're on. Are you righteous or are you just digging your heels in and being stubborn? if you are fighting to win or doggedly. Preventing the feeling of loss. Somebody always loses, win or lose. Somebody always loses in that type of dynamic. [00:03:33] So what happens when we do a fake apology? A hollow apology. And the last is the phrase I hear a lot. I just don't understand. I just don't understand. So we're gonna talk about each of these, how they play out in relationships, what you might be able to find value from within them, where you may be able to see yourself in them. [00:03:55] And I'll also share where I see myself in these too. though I sit in a therapist chair when I'm actually working with clients. I do my own work. I'm human too, and we're figuring this out together. So let's start with. When it's about winning or losing, you always lose. I think what gets lost in most heated exchanges, if we even peel back before the disagreement itself, there is a momentum. [00:04:26] That leads to disagreements, whether a repeated pattern, a repeated behavior or a fight that we keep having over and over and over again. It's never just isolated in that moment in time, there is a momentum that leads to it. [00:04:43] The issue in the kitchen or the fight in the bedroom, or the feverishly upset text exchange, Thing that we are fighting for is to be heard or to feel validated or for the other person to give us something. Usually something in the context of, you are right, I was wrong. [00:05:03] I see it your way. I will change and I will never do that thing that has led us to this moment that makes you uncomfortable ever, ever again. We're looking for some kind of either validation or a guarantee, and some of that makes sense and some of that is. Just not. and it's hard to know in that moment in time when we are flooded with feelings we're escalating and two people have dug their heels in. [00:05:30] It's sometimes hard to see the woods through the trees, but. What I know to be absolutely true, having worked with couples who are actively fighting in front of me, which is not fun. It's probably my least favorite experience working as a therapist. it really activates my nervous system, but also in my own fights and my own disagreements with my husband. [00:05:52] For example, when I am fighting to prove myself right at his expense, the expense of his experience or his point of view. I will lose because I'm either going to say something hurtful to win or I'm not listening, so I'm not receiving any of the information he's sharing. And also, once I'm that flooded and fighting to get my point of view across, I'm no longer in the environment, and I'm no longer sitting in front of my husband. [00:06:21] I'm sitting across an enemy and I'm a battle. And once that happens, once that mode is activated. That's when our worst qualities, our most destructive behaviors, can rise to the surface, and that erodes trust. it creates the opposite of really looking for, we're looking to be heard, one of the things that can be helpful is to even just catch that you're in it. am I trying to win or am I trying to understand something new? Am I trying to win or am I seeking to be heard? Am I trying to win? Meaning I need to be right. [00:07:04] And because in order for me to be right, they have to be wrong. Now, there are of course times where there maybe is a clear cut right and wrong, but what I'm speaking about in this context is not physical altercations or the extremes that are a little more clearly discerned. It's those. Muddy, messy, icky moments with someone that you actually care about or somebody who has a relationship that's important to you. [00:07:33] 'cause maybe it's not always a spouse or a romantic partner. it could be a friend or could be a family member. It could even be a coworker, but they're not a villain. They're not evil. But that is also sometimes a trick that our mind will play on us when we are fighting so hard to win, is we'll make the other person an enemy and we'll convince ourselves a story about them [00:07:53] Whatever our mode of operating makes sense to us, but what you can do is if you catch yourself in that place, you're like, oh, the warrior, the Warrior's armors on, and I am trying to win. This is, by the way, the hardest thing for me to do. Anytime because whenever there is unease, unrest, discomfort in a relationship, my need to fix or my need to get to a resolution quickly is so strong. [00:08:26] One of the best things you can do is pause the conversation, pause and walk away for a little bit. if like me, you have that hypervigilance that that need for resolution, that need to care take. Or if you are a justice seeking person, you're like, I will fight the good fight. [00:08:46] This is going to be really freaking hard. but I absolutely know. Based on the science, based on what is happening in our brains, what's happening in our nervous system, when we are engaged in an interaction like that, win or lose, you're gonna lose. So the best thing you can do when you catch it, even if it's mid-sentence, is to, and I'll actually do this, I'll do something, I'll do a gesture with my hands. [00:09:13] Like I'll throw up my hands like this, like, woo, I need, I need to stop. Or I'll do a timeout, hand signal. But I'll take a breath. I'll pump the brakes. Literally and metaphorically, I'll pump the brakes on the conversation and I need to pause and take a beat. There's actually a really common thread that I've, clients have told me about and I've actually experienced in my own life. [00:09:38] many times. I'll get off of a heated phone call and I'll hang up, and then a few minutes will go by. something will soften or a new thought will come to me, or I'll have a moment of clarity, or I'll start to feel contrite and maybe a little guilty at something at how I said something or what I said, and I'll actually have a better opportunity to reconnect through sending a text. [00:10:05] Now, I'm not a fan of text fighting or avoiding actual connection through text, but there is this phenomenon of. I have to stop the chain of events. That's un that's gaining momentum that I have. I'm losing control and I'm fighting hard to win. And I press pause and I stop and I breathe and I reflect [00:10:28] And then I'm seeing things in a different way. And then the act of texting. Is not to avoid the deeper connection, but I think there is something to, similar to why I love journaling. I'm thinking about what I'm writing and I'm thinking about what I'm sending. And generally that is either an apology or a more well-formed thought or a clarifying statement or a question that helps reframe. [00:10:56] There is something about step out of the game. If you catch yourself in this like pickleball match of like point, counterpoint, point, counterpoint, point, counterpoint, you're just trying so hard to win. [00:11:08] Step outta the game. So the pause is not abandoning the other person or abandoning the topic altogether, or it's not avoiding it. But I need to get out of this. The rules and the context of this game win or lose. I'm gonna step out. I'm gonna breathe and, you know, you're in a better place to reapproach the conversation when I come back online. [00:11:31] That's the language I use. it's hard to articulate into words 'cause it's a full body experience, The more I am caught in winning or losing or making somebody wrong, my focus becomes really narrow and I only see the examples. I only see the points that prove my perspective. Right? When I step out of the game and I breathe, [00:11:57] I come back to the present moment. from that perspective, I'm able to actually see the context of a broader frame of reference, and that opens up the conversation to better possibilities that are less corrosive and less draining. [00:12:15] So the takeaway from there, if you are fighting to win or lose, you will always lose. There is a better way to do it and my recommendation is to pause, step outta the game, breathe, reframe, and only reenter back into that interaction. When you feel yourself come back online. if you are in a relationship with a partner where you were the one choosing to step away and they. [00:12:40] Have an anxious attachment style or they are maybe more like me in this example where they're like, but they need, they need, they need to resolve. [00:12:47] So letting them know that I'm not walking away from you and I'm not avoiding us coming to. A resolution together, but now is not the time for me and I can't be my best me and do this. So depending on who you are and where you fall in each dynamic, it can be helpful to sometimes tend to that. If you have a partner that is a little bit more anxious attachedIf you've ever wanted to start a journaling practice but didn't know where to start, or if you've been journaling off and on your whole life, but you're like, I wanna take this work deeper, I've got you covered. I've written a journal called Treasured, a Journal for unearthing you. It's broken down into seven key areas of your life, filled with stories, sentence stems, prompts, questions, and exercises. [00:13:28] All rooted in the work that I do with actual clients in my therapy sessions. I have given these examples to clients in sessions as homework, and they come back with insights that allow us to do such incredible work. This is something you can do in the privacy of your own home, whether you're in therapy or not. [00:13:47] It has context, it has guides. And hopefully some safety bumpers to help digging a little deeper feel possible, accessible and safe. You don't have to do this alone. And there's also a guided treasured meditation series that accompanies each section in the journal to help ease you into the processing state. [00:14:06] So my hope is to help guide you into feeling more secure with the most important relationship in your life, the one between you and you. Hop on over to the show notes and grab your copy today. And now back to the episode. [00:14:19] When I am, sorry. Falls flat. Ooh, there is nothing. Well, okay, maybe there are other things. It really bothers me when there is a hollow, like a chocolate Easter bunny empty on the inside. I'm sorry. There are so many ways that repair is done wrong, and I think a lot of what though, these fake or hollow apologies feel rooted in. [00:14:49] It's an apology in sheep's clothing. we want a guarantee. If I just knew the right words, if I just knew the script, if I just said the right thing, then I could hijack all of the awkward, uncomfortable, vulnerable conversations that I don't wanna have. I don't actually have to feel any of the sticky, icky, uncomfortable feelings that. [00:15:10] Are involved in making amends, taking responsibility, because once I know something, I can't unknow it. And if I know something and I can't unknow it, then I might need to change. And change is uncomfortable and change is hard. if I just repeat the script, then I can just skip all that crap and get right to the fun part, which is, you know, avoiding discomfort altogether. [00:15:33] I'm sorry, but, or there's a good rule of thumb that whatever comes after, but is what you really mean. So if you find yourself either hearing or saying, I'm sorry, but blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm gonna tell you the, I'm sorry you just said was total bullshit and what you actually think and feel and what you mean is what comes after. [00:15:56] But there are so many ways that we say the words, but we don't mean the words. And so sometimes what I recommend to couples is to just swipe it from your vocabulary altogether. Because a lot of the time what we're looking for in place of an apology of atonement is acknowledgement. I see the impact my behavior had on you. [00:16:24] I see the effect that the way that I said what I just said, I can hear it now through your ears because you just shared. Your history, that experience you had when you were young, or you told me about the type of day you just had. I can now hear how that joke I thought was a joke or that comment that kind of came out sideways, or the fact that I'm frustrated and impatient I can now hear in a new way. [00:16:52] I have a new frame of reference. I have a new context because of what you shared, and I really appreciate you telling me that's not an apology, Fuck is that more powerful than so many times where we say, oh, I'm sorry, because I am sorry. Just, I'm sorry. I thought I was just making a joke. [00:17:11] Be discerning about your apologies. And also I think a really important question to ask that I will share with clients all the time. [00:17:24] Does the situation really call for an apology or is what the other person, or what you asking for is. Clarity and confirmation that your feelings matter. That your experience is real. And most of the time that is what we really are looking for. And that is enough Hollow chocolate bunny Apologies. Can Well, they can, they can get out 'cause I'm over 'em. [00:17:54] and I just don't understand. Oh. I just don't understand the faux helplessness, the performed confusion that a lot of us do. This one I find fun because when we are confused. Then we can't really make a choice. [00:18:19] And if we can't really make a choice because we don't really understand something, then guess what else we don't have to do. We don't have to change. And so a lot of times I will be working with a client who is either in a relationship with someone who is conveniently confused or they themselves. Are maybe not ready to know what they're on the cusp of knowing, or they're not ready to acknowledge what they already know. [00:18:46] There's all these different stages of readiness when it comes to making change, because change is hard and it's scary and it's uncomfortable, but this helpless confusion, I just don't understand. This is my favorite follow up question to that, and I empower you to use it. Just be ready for it though, because you can also use it on yourself. [00:19:10] I just don't understand. Do you want to, do you want to? Oof. I love that so much. Do you wanna understand, so just imagine you're having a conversation with you don't understand. Would you like to, because I'm happy to explain why it matters to me, because this is , the beauty and the really challenging part about emotional awareness . once we become aware. We can't unsee. If I don't know, then I'm gonna just keep doing what I've always done. But if I know I'm now presented with a choice that maybe I didn't have before, but now I have a choice and my choice is to either do the same thing pretending I don't know, or I'm gonna do the same thing, knowing full well and still choosing to do the same thing. [00:20:12] But it's a choice. It's not this helpless foe. I'm just lost and confused. I can't possibly be held accountable. Oh, record scratch. You do know now, and it's a real clarifying moment for an individual or for a relationship or for a job. Once I know what I know, I can't unknow it. [00:20:36] Now I'm being called to do something with this knowing, and sometimes that's a scary leap. The example that's actually coming to mind as I'm sharing this is I knew but wasn't ready to know for six months that I was ready to go out on my own and leave the practice. That helped me develop as a therapist and launch out on my own. [00:20:59] I knew for about six months that. I could afford it, that I was capable, that I had all of the resources I needed to make this happen. But I was scared to take the leap because change is hard. The unknown is uncertain and scary, and it's a new environment and new and scary, and it is just all, all the reasons why we may be avoid doing anything that's new. [00:21:24] But I knew and needed to be confused and then reminded and confused, and reminded and confused and reminded until I couldn't ignore what I knew anymore. And then I acted on it. And I think sometimes too , to wash this all with a, a big dose of compassion. I also think that a lot of times that that. [00:21:47] Knowing, not being ready to know, knowing not being ready to know is its own form of preparation. Like maybe what we see on the outside is procrastination is its own form of preparing. Getting ready to be ready, to be ready to change, [00:22:04] wherever you see yourself or your relationship or someone in your life in this process, I hope. That this has been clarifying. I hope you found some value in it or maybe sparked a fun conversation that we can continue to have. I welcome questions. I want your questions and I would love to be able to answer them for you here. [00:22:23] You can always email me at danielle@danielleireland.com. I am the only person who has access to that email, so I'll be the person that receives it. So hit me up with a follow up question. If you want me to expand on a topic or if you have a new one that you're curious about, let me know. [00:22:38] The thing I wanna leave, whether it's about winning or losing, or whether it's about when Hollow chocolate bunny bullshit apologies or being fake confused about something. If there was a way that we could simplify, well, okay, what do you actually do with this? [00:22:55] The first is breathe. The first will always be breathing. Because the breath is what allows all of the important problem solving parts of our brain that kick offline when we're absolutely flooded with emotion or in terror or thrown back to our 8-year-old emotional selves. Breath brings us back. So breathe. [00:23:19] I love doing this next step. I will think of myself or imagine myself as somewhere between like five and eight years old, but I think of little Danielle. [00:23:29] And then whenever I'm in conflict or mentally struggling with or taking issue with anyone, truly any other person, I will then imagine them as little them. So there's little Danielle and there's little them, and it softens me because one, the reality is we go back to an emotional age wherever, whenever we are flooded with emotion, the experience is exceeding our capacity to meet the moment. [00:24:01] And this is not a judgment, it's just a truth that when we get overwhelmed or flooded or have an adult tantrum or lose our temper emotions are seeping out our eyes, right? Whatever the expression is, the emotion of the moment is exceeding our capacity to meet it. Breath helps us kick back online and then remembering, oh, this is little me not knowing how to meet this moment. [00:24:25] And she's doing the best she can do. And then there's also a little version of this other person. Who is likely having the exact same experience in their own way, and it doesn't excuse behavior and it doesn't excuse mine, especially if I step outside the bounds of what's respectful. But to meet the moment with kindness and truth, doing that with compassion, with respect to what's likely happening inside me and likely happening inside the other, just really adds a nice, soft, cozy touch to the whole context. [00:25:00] Don't worry about a goddamn script. I've spent way too much time with clients, particularly in my early years, trying to craft the right thing to say. And I gotta say that those scripts will fail you when you're actually in the moment. Sentence stems can help. And maybe if you need a point of reference to launch into a well-worded email or text, but when you're speaking from the heart, it's gonna be the right thing. [00:25:25] But you won't be able to access that if you're not breathing. Disarm yourself, disarm the other. You're not enemies. You're not fighting. No one is trying to win or lose. And then say what you really feel and mean what you're saying. you'll know that it's the truth when it's also delivered with kindness. [00:25:48] Because what I absolutely believe to be true. A belief being just something you think a lot, and I think this a lot, that the truth can always be delivered with kindness. It doesn't mean it's gonna be comfy, cozy, it doesn't mean it's gonna be easy, and it doesn't mean the other person's going to like it, but it can absolutely is kind. [00:26:07] The truth is kind. So breathe, trust yourself, disarm yourself in the other. And try to do it with as much kindness as you can access. [00:26:20] I wanna hear from you. I wanna know what you think. I want to answer your questions, and I want to grow and get better with you. So before you leave, make sure to check out the show notes, all of the important links for my children's book, wrestling, a Walrus, my journal, treasure, a Journal for unearthing you, my website, all the fun ways you can connect with me. [00:26:40] They are there for you in the show notes. Make sure to check those out and write, review, subscribe to the podcast. Those three things are like the 1, 2, 3 power punch that help this podcast meet other people who can get value from it. The best things in life are shared, so please share and I hope you continue to have a wonderful day. [00:26:59]

Have you ever had a friend say something so kind that it stuck with you for years? Words have power—and in this episode of The Friendship Tour, I'm talking about how we can all become the kind of friend who uses words to build others up in faith, in love, and in friendship. This episode is inspired by the theme from my kids' school—“Speak Life.” What started as a the school's theme made its way into everyday conversations at home and eventually became a reminder of how much words matter, especially in Christian friendships. In this episode, you'll hear about:

Send us a textWelcome to today's episode of Permission to Pause! I'm so excited to share something that's been a labor of love behind the scenes—my newly updated website is officially live, and it's designed with YOU in mind.In this episode, I'm walking you through the heart behind the update and giving you a peek at the services I now offer to help women like you heal from the past, find clarity in the present, and dream courageously for the future.Whether you're longing to share your story, step into your calling, or simply need a soft place to land for a season of healing and purpose—there's something here for you.I'll introduce:Freedom Flower Life Mapping – a tool to uncover your story and God's purpose in it.Imagine Me...Set Free – a path for healing and forgiveness.Private Coaching & Workshops – one-on-one and group options to help you move forward.Resources and Devotionals to help you pause with intention and draw closer to God in your everyday.This is more than a website—it's a gathering place for women who are ready to live unstuck, to rise up in faith, and to steward their stories with confidence and hope.Tune in, take a deep breath, and let's discover how you can step into this next season with clarity and courage.Thank you for joining me on today's Permission to Pause. I would love to hear from you!For comments and episode suggestions contact pat@patlayton.netI'd love to have you vsist my BLOG to join the conversation at patlayton.net Join the conversation via my blog at www.patlayton.net PLUS my IG REELS https://www.instagram.com/patlayton/reels/Find DEEPER DIVE Pause notes and LOTS OF FREE RESOURCES here. Again! Thank you for Pausing with me!

(Special note - The sound quality is incredible!) Join me for a long ride across the Texas countryside as I discuss: Amazfit T-Rex 3 smartwatch review intro. Riding through Lick Creek Park. Pausing and talking to fishermen at Navasota River bank. Gas station walk-through. Panicking in Unbound causing accidents Peanut butter mud at the Brazos River bottom. Chased by dogs. Flat bar components far cheaper than drop bar, and adjustable on the fly. Biggest difficulty in putting out a podcast is editing all the audio. Team UAE does "no coasting" rides for training. Outrunning the rain. Stopping under a bridge to shut down the recording while out of the rain.

Maria and Allison catch up with each other. Life sometimes comes at us in seasons of heavy activity and having strategies for  focus and grounding in the faith are essential.   Links for this Episode:  Read all articles by Allison Gingras Allison's new book, Jesus Heals Read all articles by Maria Morera Johnson Maria's new book, A Beautiful Second Act

1. Cancellation of Moderna's Bird Flu Vaccine Contract The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), under Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., canceled a $766 million contract with Moderna. The contract was intended to fund the development of an mRNA-based vaccine for pandemic influenza, including H5N1 (bird flu). Despite positive early trial results from Moderna, the administration cited scientific, ethical, and safety concerns as reasons for the cancellation. The move reflects RFK Jr.'s skepticism toward mRNA vaccines and aligns with his broader rollback of COVID-19 vaccine recommendations. 2. FBI Reopening High-Profile Investigations FBI Deputy Director Dan Bongino announced the reopening or renewed focus on several public corruption cases, including: The January 6 pipe bomb incident. The White House cocaine discovery (July 2023). The leak of the 2022 Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade. Bongino emphasized a push for transparency and public engagement, encouraging tips from the public. 3. Federal Crackdown on Harvard University The Trump administration is canceling or redirecting $100 million in federal contracts with Harvard, following a freeze of $2.6 billion in research grants. The administration cites concerns over campus climate, anti-American sentiment, and violence against Jewish and American students. Additional measures include: Pausing student visa interviews. Implementing new social media screening for foreign students. The administration frames this as a move to redirect funds to trade schools, promote accountability, and encourage institutional self-reliance. Please Hit Subscribe to this podcast Right Now. Also Please Subscribe to the Ben Ferguson Show Podcast and Verdict with Ted Cruz Wherever You get You're Podcasts. Thanks for Listening #seanhannity #hannity #marklevin #levin #charliekirk #megynkelly #tucker #tuckercarlson #glennbeck #benshapiro #shapiro #trump #sexton #bucksexton#rushlimbaugh #limbaugh #whitehouse #senate #congress #thehouse #democrats#republicans #conservative #senator #congressman #congressmen #congresswoman #capitol #president #vicepresident #POTUS #presidentoftheunitedstatesofamerica#SCOTUS #Supremecourt #DonaldTrump #PresidentDonaldTrump #DT #TedCruz #Benferguson #Verdict #maga #presidenttrump #47 #the47morningupdate #donaldtrump #trump #news #trumpnews #Benferguson #breaking #breakingnews #morningupdateYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@VerdictwithTedCruzSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.