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In this intimate intuitive flow, Amy Natalie maps out the evolution of her love life—from the people-pleasing "cool girl" to the empowered "worthy woman"—and how she called in her current era of Epic Love.Ditching the illusion of the "fairy tale" relationship, Amy breaks down her signature E.P.I.C. Love Method for the self-aware woman who refuses to settle for status quo partnerships. She shares raw, behind-the-scenes lessons from her marriage, divorce, and anxious attachment loops, revealing the exact somatic and mindset shifts required to stop overthinking romance, regulate the nervous system, and open up to a love that is deeply passionate, safe, and easeful.Themes:Redefining modern romance through Emotional attunement, Passion and pleasure, Intentional partnership, and authentic Connection/communication.Moving away from the illusion of the "ready-made king" and choosing a grounded partner who is simply willing to grow.Releasing the tendency to play small, self-abandon, and choose relationships based on how they look on paper.Reclaiming self-reliance, healing codependency, and exploring solo somatic pleasure after divorce.Moving past basic mental awareness into deep nervous system regulation to break the cycle of chasing emotionally unavailable men.Softening internal armor and soothing relationship anxiety to fully let in an aligned, adoring partner without self-sabotage.❤️
As the world debates if AI will take our jobs, playwright and CTO Doug Clarke is worried about something much quieter: is AI taking our humanity and replacing our friends and therapists? In this frank chat, we dive into the meaning of our relationship with artificial intelligence through the unique intersection of Hollywood innovation and the Off-Broadway stage. Doug shares his journey from building high-level tech systems at DTS and IMAX to writing deeply vulnerable plays like Soulmate and Anxious Attachment. We explore the seductive danger of AI companions—tools that never tire, never withdraw, and never ask anything of us—and why that "perfect" consistency is actually a barrier to the healing found in human struggle. If we are relying more and more on Artificial Intelligence as a friend of therapist, Doug - who has been having therapy for years with a real person - offers a wise perspective: set up healthy boundaries! What you will learn from him: The Difference Between Convenience and Growth: Why the "messiness" of human relationships is a requirement for emotional maturity. AI as an Emotional Anesthetic: How those with anxious attachment styles are at risk of using technology to soothe surface-level pain while leaving the underlying wounds unaddressed. The Architecture of "Human Premium" Art: How to lean into live, emotional experiences that digital models can never replicate. Practical Boundaries: How to use AI as a high-efficiency tool without letting it become an emotional escape. About Doug: Doug serves on the executive committee of the Television Academy's Science and Technology peer group, where he puts together educational programs on the principles of agentic AI in their industry. He is also a playwright. Last year his first play, Soulmate, opened in Los Angeles and then ran off-Broadway in New York. It's a story about grief, depression, and how love can become its own kind of haunting when we don't know how to heal through its loss. Quotes: AI is becoming, for a lot of people, the most consistent presence in their lives. An AI chatbot is always available to you. It does not get tired of you. It does not get tired at all. It does not withdraw. It does not have its own needs that compete with yours. For a person whose history with other humans may have felt inconsistent, frustrating, or painful, the consistency and presence AI offers can feel like relief. It can develop into a feeling that can be compared to a kind of love. But what it's doing is quietly keeping us from developing the greater sense of who we are in a world that we share with billions of others. How we need to work hard to truly see, accept, and love others. We are walking into something we are not built for: the slow replacement of the harder, messier, and more honest work of human connection with a simple comfort. A comfort not found in nature. A comfort that asks nothing of us in return. AI by itself isn't the problem. The problem is what happens when we start to depend on it to avoid the exact human experiences we need in order to grow, and to stay connected to the people around us. For those with an anxious attachment style, AI is a near perfect anesthetic, because it soothes the surface without ever coming close to the wound underneath. Topics covered: AI, Anxious Attachment, and the Future of Human Art, is AI good for Therapy, need of human connection, AI friends, emotional growth, Find Doug here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/douglasaclarke/ Watch this episode on Youtube: https://youtu.be/5vsP5gg3Oqs Suggestions: Wondering about the attachment styles Doug mentioned? Grab the definitive guide to understanding human connection, breaking anxious patterns, and building real-world security: Attached by Amir Levine. This best selling book, featuring over 23k reviews, is found by clicking the link below (Please note this is an *affiliate* link so I earn something like 5 cents if you actually buy it!) https://amzn.to/3SWGTLs Trade the chatbot for a blank page. Break the habit of venting to an AI therapist and practice true emotional self-reliance by processing your thoughts by hand with a classic Leuchtturm1917 Hardcover Journal. https://amzn.to/4yndhHw (Please note this is also an *affiliate* link so I earn something like 5 cents if you actually buy it!) This notebook opens flat, doesn't bleed through and is offered in many lovely colours. You are worth it!
I'm back with anxious attachment style coach Chris Rackliffe and he's got a new book, Needy No More: The Journey from Anxious to Secure Attachment. We pick up on our previous conversation about anxious attachment right where we left off a few years ago.This episode is about the label "needy", the butterflies that aren't what you think, and choosing yourself, in dating, in marriage, and in divorce. Chris walks through his one degree method (for helping with decision-making over time), along with the five words he uses to teach boundaries: "that doesn't work for me." He also shares the practices he has his own clients do daily to rewire the nervous system and move from anxious to secure attachment, and breaks down the two parts of his book, the wounding and the work. No matter how long you've carried the pattern, it is never too late to start again. What you'll hear about in this episode: The label "needy," and the double meaning behind the title, Needy No More (2:38) Why butterflies with someone new can be your nervous system sensing danger or unavailability, not attraction, and why slowing down to listen to your gut matters (5:54) Why anxious attachment and divorce grief are so tightly linked (16:20) What it actually means to choose yourself inside a relationship, starting with keeping your own commitments in early dating (22:44) Chris's one degree method, an accumulation of small choices over time, and the five words he teaches for boundaries: "that doesn't work for me" (30:04) The daily practices Chris has his clients use to rewire the nervous system: breathwork, cold exposure, and movement, and the difference between building presence and building tolerance (32:16) Learn more about Chris Rackliffe: Chris Rackliffe is an anxious attachment style coach, author, and host of the Needy No More podcast who has helped thousands of people across six continents end the cycle of anxious attachment and build the healthiest relationships of their lives. Chris spent years caught in the exhausting patterns of anxious attachment: the hypervigilance, the people-pleasing, the devastating fear that love could be taken away at any moment. It wasn't until he discovered attachment theory that everything finally made sense. That understanding changed his life—and ultimately became his life's work. Today, Chris works privately with clients through a structured, body-based coaching program built on the belief that lasting emotional security comes not from insight alone, but from small, deliberate daily actions that compound over time to permanently rewire how you feel, think, and show up in relationships. He is the author of Needy No More: The Journey From Anxious to Secure Attachment, available on Amazon now. Resources & Links: Registration is now open for the Unbreakable Retreat! Kate Anthony's Complete Parenting Plan Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Strategy Toolkit Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kate on Instagram Kate on Facebook Kate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce Chris's website Chris on Instagram Chris on Facebook Chris on TikTok Chris on YouTube Free consultation with Chris Episode 202: Anxious Attachment and How to Heal with Chris Rackliffe =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. ===================
How do we choose love over fear when relationships get hard? Welcome to today's ICYMI, where we kick off the week with a quick game-changing tip from an episode that you might have missed. This advice from Trevor Hanson will guide you through common communication landmines, why fear is the #1 killer of relationships, and how to move through fear by accessing our primary emotions and communicating without self-protection. I'm joined by Trevor Hanson, a marriage and family therapist who has helped thousands of individuals and couples heal attachment wounds and build secure, connected, confident relationships. His work has been featured by the Gottman Institute, and he's the founder of The Art of Healing, where he teaches frameworks for transforming insecurity into emotional safety. Listen to our full episode with Trevor here. Tune in every Monday for an expert dose of life advice in under 10 minutes. Follow Trevor on Instagram Trevor's website: https://theartofhealingbytrevor.com For advertising and sponsorship inquiries, please contact Frequency Podcast Network. Subscribe to my Substack:teachmehowtoadult.substack.comFollow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube
In this episode of the Optimal Body Podcast, Doc Jen and Doctor Dom, both doctors of physical therapy, welcome back Shannon Algeo, psychotherapist and author of The Power in Your Hands. Shannon explores how smartphone and social media use mirrors insecure attachment patterns, introducing the concept of technology attachment to explain how people unconsciously turn to technology to manage anxiety, avoid emotions, and seek connection. The conversation covers how virtual interactions lack the embodied cues essential for genuine human bonding, the dangers of solitude deprivation, and the societal nature of technology attachment and the pain of digital addiction. Shannon encourages listeners to exercise compassion, small behavioral experiments, and collective action to help reclaim presence, creativity, and authentic human connection. Shannon's Resources: The Power in Your Hands Shannon on IG Shannon on YT Shannon's Website We Think You'll Love: Free Week of Jen Health Jen's Instagram Dom's Instagram YouTube Channel What You'll Learn from Shannon: 2:31 The Genesis of the Book 4:19 Attachment Theory and Technology Attachment 8:21 Virtual vs. Real World 10:51 Attachment Styles and Social Media 15:44 Negativity Bias Online 19:17 The Dangers of Instant Answers 22:10 The Importance of Solitude 30:08 Parenting in the Digital Age 36:25 The Grief of the Unlived Life 42:08 The Influencer's Dilemma 46:48 Is "Doomscrolling" Actually Relaxing? 52:15 Hope for the Future 58:07 How to Start Disconnecting For full show notes and resources visit https://jen.health/podcast/467 Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Today I'm answering three questions I get asked constantly. And I picked these three on purpose, because they build on each other. The first one is the controversial one: can a fearful-avoidant actually have a successful relationship WITHOUT going to therapy? People want me to say no. I'm not going to say no. But I'm also not going to give you the comfortable answer.The second question is one almost everyone struggles with: how do I know if what I'm feeling is anxiety, or if it's a real need I should actually honor? Because those two things feel identical in your body, and most of the internet can't tell you the difference.And the third one is personal, and a lot of you have felt it: "I feel abandoned every single time my partner goes off to a team dinner or out with friends. How do I get over this?" We're going to take that one apart together, because the real answer isn't what you think it is.I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show
If you ever thought healing your attachment was impossible - here are two other people who were able to do it. Today I did something I never did before - I had a discussion with who I have witnessed working on healing their attachment styles. This episode gives you three certified coaches walking you through what healing looks like, our experiences in our past and current relationships, how attachment styles shows up and how we all react differently to triggers from a secure space. We are excited to teach you everything we know. Leave a review and let us know what you think. Share this with your friends and don't forget to subscribe. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show
In This Episode You'll Learn: Why I kept attracting the wrong people for years The biggest dating mistakes I didn't realize I was making How to identify emotionally available vs emotionally unavailable partners The difference between chemistry and compatibility Why "doing the work" has nothing to do with being perfect The standards and boundaries that changed everything How to stop ignoring red flags The 8 steps I took before meeting my fiancé What healthy love actually feels like How to date with more confidence and intention Topics Discussed: Dating advice Healthy relationships Emotional availability Dating after heartbreak Self-worth Boundaries Red flags Conscious relationships Personal growth Finding love Relationship patterns Mindset shifts Connect with Lauren: Instagram: @laurenrudick Website: laurenrudick.com Yoga Teacher Trainings: YogaAcademyInternational.com Resources:The book Calling in the one Everything on the show is a matter of opinion. I'm not here to offer advice or tell you what to do with your life or what decisions you should make. I am just here sharing my process with you.
Register for my upcoming free workshop on Anxious Attachment Protest BehavioursIn this new series on attachment and conflict, we're exploring the deeper layers that make relational conflict so challenging, and how we can shift those patterns. This first instalment is all about the anxious attachment experience of conflict: how we can swing between conflict-avoidance and conflict-pursuit, and how our efforts at safeguarding the connection can backfire. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss the rest of the series!LinksFree resources for anxious attachment: stephanierigg.com/free-resourcesSubscribe to my Substack: https://stephanierigg.substack.com/ Subscribe to my Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmxC4jls4uolRKhFWV_RIoA/
A reflective essay on the quiet, deeper shifts between your 20s and your 30s: learning to leave things alone instead of fixing them, building a sense of home that lives inside you instead of in a relationship or a place, choosing the people who bring you back to yourself, and getting more comfortable in the uncertainty of not knowing what comes next.It's not a glow-up story, and there's no five-step plan. More on what it means to stop chasing a "better" version of yourself and start building a home for your favorite one.In this episode:– Why leaving things alone is sometimes more productive than fixing them– The difference between managing yourself and actually taking care of yourself– How anxious attachment, old friendships, and a stuck identity kept me small / what you might be missing out on– Making peace with getting older and the new excitement of uncertainty– Taking authorship of your life instead of living from the past
In this final installment, clinical hypnotherapist Martin Hewlett guides you through the ultimate goal of relationship healing: maintaining your "wholeness" while staying deeply connected to another. Anxiety often suggests that love requires you to hand over your entire "flame" to someone else for safekeeping. This session uses guided visualization to help you reclaim your own light, ensuring it burns steadily from within, independent of your relationship's status. If you have ever felt you had to shrink to make love feel safe, this episode will help you stand tall in your own worth. In This Finale, We Explore:The Two Flames Visualization: Understanding healthy proximity vs. unhealthy dependence. Internal Resilience: Recognizing the light within you that no relationship can extinguish. The Power of Repair: Why healthy relationships aren't perfect, but are defined by how we return to one another. Vagus Nerve Breathwork: A practical 6-second tool to choose connection over reaction. Episode Time Chapters00:00 – Reflection: What it means to complete this journey. 01:55 – Settling the Body: Why we start with the nervous system. 02:44 – The 4-2-6 Breath: Signaling safety to the mind. 04:12 – Guided Visualization: The side-by-side flames. 05:53 – Reclaiming Your Flame: Burning steady and self-contained. 07:30 – Affirmations for Wholeness and Connection. 08:52 – 3 Daily Caring Tips for Relationship Integration. 10:45 – Closing: You are human, you are healing, and you are worth the risk. Affirmations for WholenessRepeat these to integrate your sense of self with your capacity to love:"I am home, and I choose to share that wholeness." "I love fully, and I remain myself." "I do not have to shrink to make love feel safe." "I am enough to love and be loved exactly as I am right now." 3 Daily Caring TipsKeep One Thing for Yourself: Maintain a practice, interest, or friendship that is uniquely yours to protect your "wick." Believe in the Repair: Understand that the rupture is not the end—the repair is the love. The Vagus Nerve Pause: Take one full 6-second breath before responding to a trigger. Choosing the pause is choosing the relationship. Support & SubscribeIf this series has helped you, please Subscribe and Share it with a friend. Your engagement helps us continue providing these free daily sessions. Go Ad-Free: Join our Supporters Club for just $5 a month to listen without interruptions.Deepen Your Healing: Visit calminganxiety.fm for more resources. Be kind to yourself today. You've done the hard work; now allow yourself to rest in it.
If you find yourself constantly checking your phone, replaying conversations, or feeling more afraid than safe in your closest relationships, this episode is for you. Today, we explore how anxious attachment isn't a personality flaw, but a pattern wired into the nervous system. We'll work together to turn off the internal alarm and find safety from within.Time Chapters00:00 – Understanding the roots of relationship anxiety 01:10 – Why anxious attachment is a nervous system pattern 02:02 – Beginning the relaxation: Finding your quiet place 03:04 – Vagus nerve breathing technique (4-2-6) 04:30 – Visualization: The Warm Room of self-completeness 05:47 – Clinical Insight: Physical vs. Emotional danger 07:00 – The Power of Touch: Hand-over-heart grounding 08:11 – Affirmations for healing the "reassurance wound" 10:00 – Three Daily Tips for a happier life 11:14 – Closing thoughts and tomorrow's preview Affirmations for the DayRepeat these internally to help settle your nervous system and reinforce your worth:I am worthy of love, even when I am afraid.My need for reassurance is not a flaw; it is a wound beginning to heal.I release the need to monitor, to check, and to brace.I am safe in this moment exactly as I am.Love does not have to hurt; peace is available to me.3 Daily Tips for Inner PeaceName the Alarm, Not the Threat: When anxiety spikes, remind yourself: "This is my alarm, not a fact".The Three-Minute Room: Before sending a "checking" message, give yourself three minutes to breathe through the feeling first.Collect Evidence of Safety: Intentionally notice one moment today where your relationship felt simply "okay" to counter the brain's focus on threats.Join the CommunityIf this session helped you find a moment of calm, please subscribe to the podcast and share this episode with someone who might be struggling with their own "internal alarm".For those ready to go deeper into healing, join the Anxiety Circuit Breaker Course at calminganxiety.fm.Be kind.
PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!----------In this episode, I sit down with Cat Etherington, Director of Recovery at Naked Truth Project, to explore how addiction impacts parenting and family dynamics. Cat openly shares her personal journey through addiction and recovery, offering powerful insights into how addiction disrupts parent-child attachment and creates generational cycles of shame. Together, we discuss practical ways parents in recovery can stabilize their family environment, communicate honestly with their children, and navigate the process of rupture and repair. Cat also offers encouraging words about making amends without shame and reminds us that healing is always possible, no matter where you are in your journey. For more info about Cat and the resources at Naked Truth Project, visit NakedTruthProject.com. Topics Covered in this Episode: Impact of addiction on family dynamics and parenting.Personal experiences with addiction and recovery.Effects of addiction on attachment between parents and children.Challenges parents face in recovery, including emotional immaturity and shame.Importance of providing age-appropriate information to children.The process of rupture and repair in building secure attachments.Strategies for parents to apologize and make amends without shame.The generational cycle of shame and addiction.The significance of open communication and emotional expression in families.Hope for ongoing repair and healing in family relationships.More Resources: Help for Husbands/DadsHelp for Wives/MomsHelp for FamiliesRelated Podcasts:How Early Development Trauma Shapes Addiction and RelationshipsHow Parents Can Leverage their Story of Brokenness to Help Their Kids Pursue IntegrityHow to Move from Anxious Attachment to Secure Attachment----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple and SpotifyFollow us on our Vimeo Channel.
Cole Zesiger is a breakup and relationship coach, author, and content creator who specializes in helping people navigate heartbreak, healing, and healthy relationships. After experiencing a divorce at 23 and another difficult breakup soon after, Cole began openly sharing his journey online, eventually growing an audience of more than 750,000 followers across Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and other platforms. Through his coaching programs, online community, and content, he has helped over 2,000 people work through breakups, strengthen their self-worth, improve communication, and build healthier relationships. His practical approach blends psychology, attachment theory, faith, and real-world experience to help people either reconcile in healthier ways or move forward with peace and confidence. Cole grew up in Utah and served as a missionary in the Manila Philippines Mission. He married his wife, Jocelyn, in 2023, and together they are raising their daughter, Daisy. When he's not coaching or creating content, Cole enjoys playing guitar, dirt biking, wildlife photography, and exploring the mountains. His debut book, Ex's and No's: The Breakup Advice You Don't Want to Hear, offers a roadmap for rebuilding confidence, healing attachment wounds, and creating lasting love. Links Ex’s and No’s: The Breakup Advice You Don’t Want to Hear CoachColeZesiger.com Watch the video and share your thoughts in the Zion Lab community Transcript available with the video in the Zion Lab community Highlights Cole Zesiger discusses navigating early divorce and breakups within the Young Single Adult (YSA) community of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The conversation focuses on dismantling the spiritual stigma surrounding failed marriages and provides actionable methods for processing relationship trauma. 00:02:06 – Cole’s Journey Through Divorce 00:05:08 – The Reality of Early Marriage Challenges 00:07:56 – Understanding Attachment Styles 00:10:41 – The Impact of Divorce on Self-Perception 00:12:27 – The Aftermath of Divorce 00:14:06 – Reflecting on Past Relationships 00:17:14 – The Importance of Community Support 00:20:27 – Addressing the YSA Experience with Divorce 00:22:09 – Normalizing Divorce in Church Culture 00:24:34 – Understanding God’s Role in Relationships 00:27:10 – Creating Depth in Relationships 00:30:02 – The Importance of Service in Marriage 00:32:11 – Supporting Those Experiencing Divorce 00:35:37 – Best Practices for YSA Leaders 00:39:30 – Building a Present Worth Living In Key Insights The Perfection Stigma: Many young Latter-day Saints internalize a strict cultural path (e.g., mission, temple marriage) as a guarantee of success, leading to intense shame, identity crises, and a sense of absolute personal failure if a marriage ends in divorce. Anxious Attachment and Relationship Mechanics: Childhood and mission environments can inadvertently cultivate anxious attachment styles, causing individuals to compulsively try to “will a relationship into existence” or over-sacrifice personal needs rather than assessing core value compatibility. God's Will and Adversity: Divine promptings to marry do not mean God guaranteed a problem-free relationship; rather, adversity and divorce can be part of a broader spiritual landscape designed to build critical emotional skills and resilience. The Physiology of Heartbreak: Neurologically, overcoming a major breakup mimics chemical detox patterns seen in severe substance withdrawals, highlighting that the profound grief experienced by individuals is an intense physiological reality that requires intentional time to navigate. Active Relationship Maintenance: Sustainable long-term intimacy requires entering the “deep end” of a relationship by prioritizing consistent service actions strictly to maintain one's own love for their partner rather than doing so out of a codependent need for constant reciprocation. Leadership Applications Initiate Purposeful Social Inclusion: Leaders should deliberately look out for divorced or grieving ward members, actively connecting them to peer networks and social activities to replace isolation with a forward-looking sense of belonging. Shift the Spiritual Narrative: When counseling individuals facing separation, leaders can help reframe their perspective from viewing divorce as an identity-defining failure or sin to treating it as a difficult life trial that offers space for grace and personal growth. The award-winning Leading Saints Podcast is one of the top independent Latter-day Saints podcasts as part of nonprofit Leading Saints’ mission to help Latter-day Saints be better prepared to lead. Find Leadership Tools, Courses, and Community for Latter-day Saint leaders in the Zion Lab community. Learn more and listen to any of the past episodes for free at LeadingSaints.org. Past guests include Emily Belle Freeman, David Butler, Hank Smith, John Bytheway, Reyna and Elena Aburto, Liz Wiseman, Stephen M. R. Covey, Benjamin Hardy, Elder Alvin F. Meredith III, Julie Beck, Brad Wilcox, Jody Moore, Tony Overbay, John H. Groberg, Elaine Dalton, Tad R. Callister, Lynn G. Robbins, J. Devn Cornish, Bonnie Oscarson, Dennis B. Neuenschwander, Kirby Heyborne, Taysom Hill, Coaches Jennifer Rockwood and Brandon Doman, Anthony Sweat, John Hilton III, Barbara Morgan Gardner, Blair Hodges, Whitney Johnson, Ryan Gottfredson, Greg McKeown, Ganel-Lyn Condie, Michael Goodman, Wendy Ulrich, Richard Ostler, and many more in over 800 episodes. Discover podcasts, articles, virtual conferences, and live events related to callings such as the bishopric, Relief Society, elders quorum, Primary, youth leadership, stake leadership, ward mission, ward council, young adults, ministering, and teaching.
End Codependency & Build Healthy, Balanced Relationships https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life-codependency-course?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=dream-life-codependency-course&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-05-29-26&el=podcast Do you actually love them… or do you just want to be chosen? If you feel intense emotional highs and lows around someone, even when the relationship isn't healthy; it may not be love. It may be your Attachment Style seeking validation and relief from deeper unmet needs. Understanding this difference can completely change how you show up in relationships. Episode Summary In this episode, Thais Gibson breaks down the difference between true connection and the need for validation, especially for those with an Anxious Attachment Style. You'll learn why the intensity you feel toward certain people is not random, how intermittent reinforcement creates emotional addiction, and why chasing someone is often tied to unmet childhood needs. Thais also shares practical steps to help you identify your needs, choose yourself, and build a stronger sense of identity, so you can move from chasing validation to creating real, secure connection. Key Takeaways ✔️ Intense attraction can be driven by unmet needs, not true compatibility ✔️ Anxious Attachment may seek validation through being chosen ✔️ Intermittent reinforcement increases emotional dependency ✔️ Chasing often reflects unresolved core wounds ✔️ Self-validation reduces the need to seek approval externally ✔️ Knowing yourself is key to setting boundaries and standards ✔️ Choosing yourself creates space for healthier relationships Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she's helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships. Helpful Resources:
Anxious Attachment: Why You're Pushing Love AwayAnxious attachment keeps you stuck in a cycle of fear, control, and self-sabotage — and most people don't even realize they're doing it. John and Echo break down exactly how anxious attachment shows up in real relationships, why it develops in the first place, and what it actually costs you to keep living this way. If you've ever needed constant reassurance, spiraled over unanswered texts, or exploded after holding everything in — this episode is for you.They dig into the real mechanics of anxious attachment: how childhood wounds and past relationship trauma wire you to see love as something that can be taken away, why anxious people are weirdly good at reading emotions but terrible at reading situations, and the uncomfortable truth about how chasing control pushes people toward the exact outcome you're terrified of. John and Echo also flip the script — talking about how to *actually* influence your relationship in the right direction, how to handle a partner who's anxiously attached without making things worse, and why giving reassurance without boundaries is just feeding the cycle.In This EpisodeAnxious attachment usually forms from unpredictable parenting or past relationship trauma — not a personal flawAnxious people detect emotions quickly but jump to wrong conclusions, which accelerates the spiralTrying to control outcomes is the *formula* for anxiety — letting go of control is the cureCalling 15 times or asking "do you still love me?" soothes you for five minutes and makes the problem worse long-termInstead of nagging from fear, reinforce the positive traits you want — it pulls people toward being that personIf you don't address issues as they come up, you *will* become anxiously attached — avoidance creates itReassurance without boundaries teaches your partner that their anxiety controls you — set the limit kindly but clearlyAnxious attachment looks different in men vs. women: men tend to control overtly, women tend to control covertlyTimestamps0:00 — What Makes Someone Anxiously Attached?3:15 — How Past Relationships Shape Your Attachment Style5:35 — Anxious People Read Emotions But Jump to Conclusions9:39 — Why Anxious People Try to Control Outcomes15:13 — Can Worrying About Cheating Actually Cause It?22:28 — Letting Go of Control Is the Formula for Less Anxiety31:40 — Why Women Are Naturally More Anxious in Relationships38:14 — How Anxious Attachment Shows Up in Men47:04 — Positive Influence vs. Negative Spiraling59:06 — How to Handle an Anxiously Attached PartnerConnect
Short personal update as well as a conversation around the collective struggle we face in romance. We think we are alone, but we are not. Tune in to learn more.Visit my website here.
End Codependency & Build Healthy, Balanced Relationships https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life-codependency-course?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=dream-life-codependency-course&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-05-25-26&el=podcast You may think you're chasing love… but what you're really chasing is relief from rejection. If you find yourself drawn to inconsistent or unavailable people, this pattern isn't random, it's your nervous system trying to resolve deeper emotional wounds. The good news? This is something you can change. Episode Summary In this episode, Thais Gibson explains why chasing love is often driven by nervous system activation and unresolved core wounds, not true romantic connection. You'll learn how Anxious Attachment patterns can lead to chasing inconsistent partners due to intermittent reinforcement, why rejection activates deep subconscious wounds, and how this creates a cycle of emotional dependency. Thais also shares a powerful exercise to help you begin rewiring these patterns, so you can stop seeking validation externally and start building self-worth and emotional safety from within. Key Takeaways ✔️ Chasing love is often a search for relief from rejection ✔️ Intermittent reinforcement increases emotional attachment ✔️ Anxious Attachment can drive patterns of overpursuit ✔️ Rejection activates deeper core wounds, not just present pain ✔️ External validation cannot resolve internal emotional wounds ✔️ Rewiring patterns requires self-awareness and new behaviors ✔️ You can break the cycle and build healthier relationships Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she's helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships. Helpful Resources:
In this Therapy Thursdays episode, John answers listener questions about anxious attachment, exes, blame, perfectionism, makeup sex, and relationship myths. He explores how attachment patterns affect your partner, why we sometimes stay mentally connected to an ex, and how to know whether a relationship has real long-term potential. If you've ever wondered whether your relationship has legs, why you keep blaming your partner, or why you still think about someone from your past, this episode will help you slow down and look at the deeper patterns underneath.
An episode about Internal Family Systems. The psychology framework to identify the different parts of ourselves and how they interplay (or sabotage) us.Join me inside Becoming Her - the group where self-aware women who are ready to go deeper than therapy come to liberate themselves from their wounds and patterns and into magnetism and mature love.Live workshop June 7thLive Q&A July 14thAccess the 21 day Foundations Path50+ somatic exercises-and more! First 7 Days Free >> Join Us
Start Healing Core Wounds with Our Reparent Your Inner Child Course, Free with a 7-Day Trial to the Personal Development School https://offer.personaldevelopmentschool.com/reparenting-your-inner-child?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=reparenting-your-inner-child&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-05-20-26&el=podcast Have you ever felt like you're doing everything to heal… reading the books, going to therapy, doing the work and still feel stuck? You're not alone. And more importantly… you're not broken. We're living in one of the most emotionally overwhelming times in history and your Attachment Style may be getting triggered in ways that make healing feel harder than ever. Episode Summary In this episode, Thais Gibson breaks down exactly why healing feels harder than ever and how this shows up differently depending on your Attachment Style. You'll learn how the modern world (social media, constant comparison, emotional overwhelm, and disconnection) amplifies your core attachment wounds, whether you're Anxious Avoidant, Dismissive Avoidant, Fearful Avoidant, or Securely Attached. Thais walks through each Attachment Style and explains the specific challenges you may be facing in your healing journey and what you can do to start moving forward in a more grounded, empowered way. Key Takeaways ✔️ You're not failing at healing; you're healing in an overwhelming world. ✔️ Your Attachment Style may be getting triggered daily without you realizing it. ✔️ Anxious Attachment feels amplified by comparison, rejection, and fear of abandonment. ✔️ Avoidant patterns can hide behind independence, numbing, and emotional disconnection. ✔️ Fearful Avoidants may feel constant inner chaos mirrored by the outside world. ✔️ Secure Attachment isn't perfection, it's learning to regulate, reflect, and repair. Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she's helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships. Helpful Resources:
Why do some relationships feel safe while others trigger anxiety, overthinking, or fear of being left? In this episode, we explore how attachment styles shape the way we connect — and how those patterns can change.Host Francesca sits down with psychotherapist Rebecca Marcus to unpack anxious attachment, family of origin dynamics, and the ways early experiences influence adult relationships. Together, they break down complex mental health concepts into accessible, relatable insights, helping listeners understand why relationship anxiety shows up and what it's really trying to communicate.You'll learn how attachment styles develop before we even have language, why social media can amplify anxious patterns, and how fear of abandonment often traces back to moments where connection felt uncertain or inconsistent. Rebecca shares how these patterns aren't permanent labels but fluid tendencies that can shift with awareness, communication, and self-compassion.This conversation is for anyone who:Overthinks texts, responses, or relationship dynamicsNotices patterns of fear, distancing, or reassurance-seekingWants to understand how childhood experiences impact adult relationshipsIs curious about tools for emotional regulation and self-soothingFrancesca also shares personal reflections on triggers, healing experiences, and the power of naming your needs in relationships. The episode highlights practical ways to build emotional safety, from nervous system regulation to having honest conversations with loved ones.Rather than pathologizing common experiences, this episode normalizes relationship anxiety as a human response rooted in connection. Listeners will leave with a deeper understanding of their emotional patterns — and reassurance that growth and healing are possible.If you've ever wondered “Why do I react this way in relationships?” this episode offers clarity, compassion, and actionable insight.If this conversation resonated, follow the show and share it with someone who might feel seen by it.
What if the patterns in your relationships are not just about communication, compatibility, or choosing the wrong person, but subconscious wounds your nervous system learned years ago? In this episode, Dr. Taz sits down with Thais Gibson, PhD, bestselling author, counselor, speaker, attachment theory expert, and founder of The Personal Development School, to explore how attachment styles, childhood conditioning, core wounds, subconscious programming, and nervous system regulation shape the way we love, fight, connect, and pull away.In this episode, Thais explains why the conscious mind often cannot overpower the subconscious mind, and why so many people keep repeating the same relationship patterns even when they know better. She breaks down the four attachment styles: secure, anxious, dismissive avoidant, and fearful avoidant, and explains how each style can show up in adult relationships, dating, marriage, family dynamics, conflict, ghosting, love bombing, emotional shutdown, clinginess, and the painful push-pull cycle.Dr. Taz and Thais discuss why affirmations may not be enough to heal deep core wounds, why the subconscious mind responds more to emotion and imagery than language, and how childhood experiences can become the lens through which we interpret adult relationships. Thais also shares a practical 21-day rewiring exercise using memory, emotion, visualization, and repetition to help shift core wounds like abandonment, betrayal, shame, unworthiness, and fear of being trapped.If you're listening to this and thinking, “I know something is off in my body, but I don't know where to start,” join the Circle here:
In the first ever live coaching session of The Sabrina Zohar Show, Sabrina sits down with brand ambassador and content creator Judit Moreno for an unfiltered conversation about anxious attachment, the father wound, and why so many of us keep dating emotionally unavailable men. They unpack how childhood shapes adult relationship patterns, what love bombing does to your nervous system, and why self-abandonment can feel like home when chaos was your blueprint for love. If you have ever wondered why you keep attracting the same partner in different bodies, spiraled in anxious attachment dating cycles, or felt like you are "too much" in relationships, this episode is for you. Sabrina walks Judit through real-time inner child work, reparenting, and the powerful mindset shift from wanting to be picked to actually choosing yourself. A must listen for anyone working on attachment theory, healing childhood trauma, and breaking toxic dating patterns for good. Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026, "Why Am I Like This?" If you're ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step HERE! If you're serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE! Get Ad free HERE! Watch on Spotify. Spotify subscribers get fewer ads on my video. Want to work with Sabrina? HERE! Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE! Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! Please support our sponsors! Go to Quince.com/SABRINA for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Machine Washable Rugs, Made Better. For a limited time only, our listeners get 10% off + free shipping at tumbleliving.com/SABRINA #Tumble #ad ============================= Chapters: 00:00 First Live Coaching Session 05:15 Anxious Attachment & Father Wound 10:36 When Anxiety Takes Over Your Body 14:47 Be Picked vs. Picking Yourself 19:30 Toxic Love, Gaslighting & Cheating 24:38 Normalizing Chaos in Childhood 29:39 Why Chaos Feels Like Love 35:27 Who Are You Without Struggle? 41:08 Loving the Parts You Hate 46:13 Shame, Guilt & Reparenting Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
You may have been dating and anxious attached and they seem put together. They are not the needy and clingy ones you heard about. They don't remind you of your ex who was needy and clingy. You might even think you're being tricked. Are they manipulating you? Chances are you have bummed into a not so rare gem. There are emotionally mature anxious attached gems that can behave in very secure ways and that is healthy for a long- term relationship. However, you don't want to sabotage these relationships by testing them too much because these are the ones that won't stick around and beg like your emotionally immature ex probably did - and you don't want to risk that. If you're anxiously attached, this may trigger you or help you to grow if you're ready for that. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show
No one is born with anxious attachment style. So the short answer is yes, you can change your attachment to secure!In this epsiode you'll learn:• Why no one is born with anxious attachment, and what actually created yours• How your mother's nervous system shaped yours before you even had words for it• Why books, therapy, and podcasts haven't been enough, and what's missing from most healing approaches• The difference between knowing better in your mind and your body actually catching upJoin me live for coaching and somatic therapy workshops in Becoming Her
A lot of women are not afraid of being “mean” to men.They're afraid of being abandoned, misunderstood, punished, or losing someone they've already become emotionally attached to.In this video, we're talking about:* anxious attachment in dating* fear of running men off* why boundaries feel “mean”* attachment to emotionally unavailable men* people pleasing in relationships* fear of male retaliation/rejection* overexplaining yourself to men* why clarity scares you more than settlingBecause the truth is:You are not losing a good man by having standards.You're exposing men who benefited from your lack of them.And anxious attachment can make you hold onto men who were never aligned with you to begin with.If this resonated with you, make sure to like, comment, and subscribe for more conversations around healing, self-worth, attachment, boundaries, and dating.
Show Notes:Valerie's framing of anxious attachment: hypervigilance born from inconsistent or emotionally unavailable caregivers. "Rooted in a deep fear of rejection, a deep fear of abandonment." The over-functioning, the people-pleasing, the constant scan for reassurance — all of it tracing back to a child who never learned how to self-soothe.Why the secure partner feels "boring": attraction is unconscious, and neuroception seeks the familiar. "The healthy secure partner, they feel really boring. There is no spark." Toxic feels like home because home was the original blueprint.The 8-year-old in a 48-year-old's body: when fight-or-flight turns on, the prefrontal cortex goes offline. Grace for the part of you that's still scanning a partner's face the way you once scanned a parent's.Lindsey's silent treatment origin and the Ocean's lasers analogy: a mother who would disappear, a child who learned to ask a hundred anxious questions to bring her back, and a nervous system that grew up to function "like that room full of moving lasers" — overtuned safety system, not character flaw.The quieter forms of emotional unavailability: a sibling with high needs, a parent with chronic illness, a single mother working three jobs, a depressed parent doing their best. Anxious attachment doesn't require a "bad" childhood — just a childhood where attunement wasn't always available.Over-functioning as the anxious attachment power move: "If I'm taking care of you... you can't leave me because you need me." The unconscious bargain that buys you a sense of control and costs you a mountain of resentment.Resentment is just anger plus time: every swallowed "ouch, that hurt" eventually surfaces somewhere — passive aggression, silent treatment, the explosion that "comes out of nowhere." The original anger was just biology asking to be heard.The repressed anger of anxiously attached women: terrified of their own anger, terrified that telling the truth will make them "too much" and get them left. So anger leaks instead of speaks — and the relationship pays interest on it for years.Why your Instagram feed says "leave him": "Instagram is made to hook you in emotionally for four seconds. That's just not how adult relationships look like." Four-second soundbites can't hold nuance, and relationships can't survive without it.Are there really that many avoidant men — or is it projection? Valerie's coaching practice is full of men who want to do the work, and a culture handing women a label-and-leave script that flattens both partners and feeds the loneliness epidemic.You cannot heal relational wounds in isolation: "Trying to heal outside of relationship is like trying to go swimming without ever getting in the water." Your nervous system was shaped in relationships; that's the only place it gets to take a different shape.Earned secure attachment is built through rupture and repair: "It's not how little do we fight. It's how often do we fight and we fix it." You can't practice the skill if you never bump into each other — and that bumping is the initiation, not the failure.Lindsey's gas and brakes: "I am the gas of our relationship and David is the brakes." Different speeds aren't sabotage. Sometimes the slower partner is the gift your nervous system didn't know it needed.Both/and over either/or: "It can be true that someone is trying their best... and it can also be true that your nervous system doesn't have the capacity and tolerance to wait through their process." Different capacities, not different moralities."You don't totally heal all the things in this life. You are still worthy of relationships and belonging. Capitalism is what tells you that you have to heal everything to be worthy." We're all just cucumbers floating on a rock, and that's enough to deserve being met.Links:https://www.instagram.com/healwithval/https://stan.store/healwithval/
If you're Anxious Preoccupied in relationships and your partner pulls away, it can feel deeply confusing and painful. You may interpret distance as rejection, wondering what you did wrong or how to fix it. But for someone with a Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style, that distance is often not about you… it's about their internal fears being activated. Understanding this dynamic can help you stop personalizing the cycle and start seeing what's really happening beneath the surface. Episode Summary In this episode, Thais Gibson explains why individuals with a Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style often pull away from an Anxious Preoccupied partner, especially in the early stages of dating. You'll learn how Dismissive Avoidants experience a conflict between their feelings and their fears, and how subtle signals of closeness can trigger fears of vulnerability, pressure, or commitment. Thais also breaks down how Anxious Attachment activation strategies like pursuing, texting more, or trying to increase closeness, can unintentionally intensify the cycle, creating a push-pull dynamic between both partners. Key Takeaways ✔️ Dismissive Avoidant individuals may pull away when fears override their feelings ✔️ Subtle cues of closeness can trigger fear of vulnerability or pressure ✔️ Anxious Preoccupied partners may respond by increasing pursuit and proximity ✔️ Pursuit can unintentionally reinforce Avoidant distancing behaviors ✔️ This push-pull dynamic is driven by opposing attachment strategies ✔️ These patterns are rooted in subconscious programming, not personal failure ✔️ Understanding both Attachment Styles helps break the cycle Timestamps 00:00 – Why Dismissive Avoidants Keep Pushing Their Anxious Partner Away 00:38 – The Dating Stage 01:43 – 1. Dismissive Avoidants Operate From Their Feelings Minus Their Fears 04:49 – 2. In Reaction, the Anxious Preoccupied's Activation Strategies May Kick In 06:22 – 7-Day Free Trial + Needs Course Promo 07:15 – Like, Share, and Subscribe for Daily Videos Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she's helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships. Helpful Resources:
This is an episode recorded for my instagram Wednesday live. These are the questions I answered for my followers there
Hey Clutterbugs! We're diving deep into the world of attachment styles! If you've ever felt stuck in relationships, struggled with setting boundaries, or wondered why therapy hasn't been enough to heal your emotional wounds (hi, it's me
Have you ever found yourself obsessing over someone, constantly checking your phone, replaying conversations, or imagining a future that hasn't happened yet? It might feel like love… but often, it's actually your Attachment Style being activated. Obsessive thoughts and emotional intensity aren't random. They follow predictable patterns based on how you're wired for connection and understanding these patterns can change everything. Episode Summary In this episode, Thais Gibson breaks down Attachment Styles & the psychology of obsession, explaining how each Attachment Style experiences attraction, fixation, and emotional intensity differently. You'll learn how Anxious Attachment, Dismissive Avoidant, Fearful Avoidant, and Securely Attached individuals each experience obsession; from hyperactivation and chasing, to emotional suppression, to push-pull cycles. Thais also explains why obsession is often a sign of Attachment Activation rather than true compatibility, and how building internal safety and meeting your own needs can transform obsessive patterns into secure, healthy connection. Key Takeaways ✔️ Anxious Attachment often experiences obsession as urgency and fear of disconnection ✔️ Dismissive Avoidant individuals may obsess privately while appearing emotionally distant ✔️ Fearful Avoidant patterns create intense push-pull cycles of closeness and withdrawal ✔️ Emotional chaos can feel familiar and be mistaken for connection ✔️ Obsession is often attachment activation, not necessarily love ✔️ Securely Attached individuals are less likely to obsess due to internal stability ✔️ Meeting your own needs reduces fixation on others Timestamps 00:00 – Attachment Styles & The Psychology of Obsession 00:54 – Attachment Style #1 01:57 – Attachment Style #2 04:02 – Attachment Style #3 06:09 – 7-Day Free Trial + Needs Course Promo 07:02 – Attachment Style #4 08:33 – Learn How to Heal at the Personal Development School Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she's helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships. Helpful Resources:
Have you ever felt like you're both Anxious and Avoidant in relationships? Maybe you obsess when someone pulls away, but when things get too close, you suddenly feel overwhelmed and want distance. If that sounds familiar, you might not be Anxiously Attached — you may actually have a Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style. Fearful Avoidant Attachment can feel confusing because it combines both Anxious and Avoidant patterns. You may deeply crave connection and intimacy, yet feel unsafe or overwhelmed when relationships become emotionally close. Episode Summary In this episode, Thais Gibson walks you through the major signs of Fearful Avoidant Attachment, how it differs from Anxious Attachment, and what it takes to move toward Secure Attachment. How Fearful Avoidant Attachment shows up through core wounds, emotional patterns, unmet needs, boundary struggles, communication habits, and coping mechanisms. You'll learn why Fearful Avoidants often experience intense internal conflict in relationships, why trust and safety are essential for them, and how understanding these deeper patterns can help you begin the process of healing and building secure attachment. Key Takeaways ✔️ You crave deep love — but closeness can suddenly feel overwhelming. ✔️ Fearful Avoidant patterns often come from deep wounds of betrayal, abandonment, and feeling unsafe. ✔️ Your emotions can swing between anxiety, anger, shame, and overwhelm in relationships. ✔️ Boundaries may feel impossible; until everything explodes at once. ✔️ You may give too much, receive too little, and feel emotionally drained. ✔️ Healing is possible when you learn to meet your needs and build real emotional safety. Timestamps 00:00 – Major Signs That You Are a Fearful Avoidant 00:36 – Core Wounds 01:48 – Emotions 02:17 – Needs 03:14 – Boundaries 07:05 – 7-Day Free Trial + Needs Course Promo 07:58 – Coping Mechanisms 08:57 – The Path to Secure Attachment Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she's helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships. Helpful Resources:
How To Rebuild Self-Esteem, Confidence & Self-Worth At The Core https://offer.personaldevelopmentschool.com/self-esteem?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=self-esteem-mastery&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-04-29-26&el=podcast Have you ever met someone and felt instant chemistry like your body decided before your brain did? Many people assume chemistry means compatibility, but neuroscience and Attachment Theory show that what feels magnetic isn't always healthy. Depending on your Attachment Style, chemistry can feel like urgency, emotional intensity, novelty, or even chaos. Understanding these patterns can help you stop chasing familiar but unhealthy dynamics and start choosing relationships that are truly compatible. Episode Summary In this episode, Thais Gibson explains the science behind what attracts each Attachment Style and why the chemistry you feel with someone may actually be your nervous system responding to familiar patterns. You'll learn how Anxious Attachment, Dismissive Avoidant, and Fearful Avoidant Attachment Styles experience attraction differently and how subconscious programming and nervous system conditioning influence who you feel drawn to. Thais also breaks down why “wrong chemistry” can feel so right, and how healing your Attachment Style can change what you're naturally attracted to in relationships. Key Takeaways ✔️ Anxious Attachment often experiences chemistry as urgency and emotional intensity ✔️ Unpredictability can increase attraction through dopamine and cortisol spikes ✔️ Dismissive Avoidant individuals may withdraw when vulnerability increases ✔️ Protecting independence often drives Avoidant attraction patterns ✔️ Fearful Avoidant chemistry can feel intense due to push-pull dynamics ✔️ Familiar emotional chaos can be mistaken for compatibility ✔️ Healing your Attachment Style helps you choose healthier partners Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she's helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships. Helpful Resources:
Taboo to Truth: Unapologetic Conversations About Sexuality in Midlife
In this episode, I'm back with emotional intimacy expert Allana Pratt for Part 2 of a conversation that went places I never expected. We pick up where we left off — moving through self-forgiveness, the grip of self-loathing, and why judgment from others is actually an invitation to look inward. Allana shares a raw piece of her own story — six years estranged from her son, and the horrendous self-hatred she had to sit with and fully feel to finally reach wisdom. We get into soul embodiment, what it really means to be an anxious attacher, and why trauma is finite — not a life sentence. And because this is Taboo to Truth, we close it out with my three questions: her definition of sex, her best orgasm ever, and a fantasy she's never checked off the list. Buckle up — this one goes deep in every direction.In this episode: 00:00 - Welcome Back & Intro00:30 - Part 1 Recap: The Three Relationship Mistakes02:10 - Why Forgiveness Is Harder Than Acceptance04:30 - Self-Hatred Is the Last Thing to Go in Healing07:45 - Real Client Story: Stop Blaming Yourself for How Others React11:00 - The Teflon Method: Receiving Judgment Without Taking It On14:15 - How to Actually Sit With Self-Loathing Until It Transforms17:30 - Allana Opens Up: Six Years Without Her Son20:00 - Soul Embodiment & Body Wisdom21:45 - Can You Have a Real Relationship While Still Doing the Work?23:00 - Anxious Attachment, Rejection & Why Trauma Is Finite24:20 - The Three Questions: Sex, Orgasms & Unfulfilled Fantasies25:10 - Where to Find Allana & Scholarship CodeWant a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today's discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don't miss out!Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:Email: karen@taboototruth.comWebsite: https://www.taboototruth.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruthYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcastAbout the Guest:Intimacy Expert, Allana Pratt is a global media personality and go-to authority for those ready to transcend heartbreak, live unapologetically and cultivate a soul-shaking relationship. This Ivy League grad is the Author of 6 books, has interviewed Actress Whoopi Goldberg, Musician Alanis Morissette and Physicist Nassim Haramein. She Hosts the edgy Podcast Intimate Conversations: Season 14- Dark Night to Divine Light, where listeners learn that intimacy is an inside job.A Certified Master Coach with over 7M viewers on YouTube, Allana was asked by Leeza Gibbons to coach her during Dancing with the Stars. Interviewed over 850 times, she's been chosen as an Icon of Influence and featured on Huffington Post, People Magazine, Forbes, CBS, ABC, FOX, TLC, iHeartRadio and more.Connect with Allana Pratt:Website: https://allanapratt.com/connect (Allana is offering a scholarship for listeners to connect with her one-on-one at a reduced rate — ask her about it!)Podcast: Intimate ConversationsYouTube: /AllanaPrattPatreon: Allana PrattInstagram: @allanaprattAbout the Host: Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:Email: karen@taboototruth.comWebsite: https://www.taboototruth.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruthYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcastSubstack: https://karenbigman.substack.comTake control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES
Healing an anxious attachment isn't easy but it is possible. My client agreed to sit down and share his journey - what he went through as an anxious attached person, what he has learned and how he continues to grow and feel empowered in his relationships. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show
If you've ever found yourself over-functioning, people-pleasing, or quietly eating boiled spinach for two months just to keep the peace, girl, this episode is for you. We're doing a full deep dive into codependency: what it actually is (because that word gets thrown around a lot), why so many of us end up there without even realizing it, and most importantly, how to move toward something way healthier, interdependence. This is the stuff that changes not just your romantic relationships, but your friendships, your family dynamics, your whole life. Buckle up.Inside the Episode:Codependency isn't always obvious and our culture makes it worse. The difference between codependency, hyperindependence, and interdependence.5 practical ways to start building interdependence right now.
The author of Attached, Amir Levine, M.D., is back with a new book called Secure and a whole new framework for understanding why your relationships feel the way they do. In this episode, we get into the biggest misconceptions about anxious and avoidant attachment, the truth about whether you can actually change your attachment style, why avoidants shut down instead of showing up, what a "closeness overdose" is and why it kills perfectly good relationships, and the five pillars of a secure life built around his CARP framework: consistent, available, responsive, reliable, and predictable. If you've ever been stuck in anxious hyper-vigilance, wondered how to build a secure relationship with someone more avoidant, struggled with limerence and obsessive attachment, or just wanted to stop letting your nervous system run the show, this episode gives you real, research-backed tools to start rewiring your brain toward earned secure attachment starting today. Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026, "Why Am I Like This?" If you're ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step HERE! If you're serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE! Get Ad free HERE! Want to work with Sabrina? HERE! Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE! Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! Please support our sponsors! Treat yourself to gear that looks good, feels good, and doesn't break the bank with Fabletics. Go to Fabletics.com/SABRINA and sign up as a VIP and get eighty percent off everything! ============================= Chapters: 0:00 Intro: Amir Levine & Secure 2:17 From Attached to Secure 3:44 Biggest Attachment Myths Debunked 6:18 The Truth About Avoidant Attachment 7:47 What Is a Closeness Overdose 11:08 Anxious Avoidant Relationships 15:23 The CARP Framework Explained 22:46 Micro Interactions Rewire Your Brain 25:32 Anxious Attachment as a Superpower 35:22 Limerence and Obsessive Attachment Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
How To Repair Relationships & Create Lasting Emotional Connection https://offer.personaldevelopmentschool.com/relationship-repair?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=relationship-repair&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-04-15-26&el=podcast Many people believe childhood trauma only refers to extreme experiences. But in reality, trauma can also come from repeated emotional experiences that shaped the way we see ourselves, others, and relationships. These experiences can deeply influence how we attach to people, how safe we feel in relationships, and how we respond to closeness, distance, and conflict in our love lives. Childhood trauma doesn't always look obvious. Sometimes it comes from painful experiences, and other times it comes from important emotional needs that were never fully met growing up. Episode Summary In this episode, Thais Gibson explains what trauma really is, how it forms in childhood, and how different attachment styles develop as protective strategies that shape the way we show up in adult relationships. In this video, you'll learn: • What trauma actually is and how it forms in childhood • Why trauma isn't only about what happened, but also what didn't happen • How Anxious Attachment develops from fears of abandonment and rejection • Why Dismissive Avoidants learn to rely on hyper-independence • How Fearful Avoidants develop mixed signals around love and safety Key Takeaways ✔️ Trauma can come from repeated emotional experiences, not just major events ✔️ Childhood meaning-making shapes subconscious beliefs about love and safety ✔️ Anxious Attachment often develops from fears of abandonment or rejection ✔️ Dismissive Avoidants tend to develop hyper-independence due to unmet emotional needs ✔️ Fearful Avoidants often grow up in chaotic or unpredictable environments ✔️ Attachment Styles are protective adaptations that can be rewired through healing Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she's helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships. Helpful Resources:
In today's episode, we're unpacking one of the most common (and confusing) questions for people with anxious attachment: is it me, or is there something genuinely not right in this relationship?When you're used to second-guessing yourself, it can be incredibly hard to know whether your fears and insecurities are coming from your own patterns—or from dynamics that would leave anyone feeling unsafe or unsettled.In this episode, I explore why this question is so difficult to answer, the role of self-doubt and emotional invalidation, and how to find a more grounded, balanced perspective. I also share some clear examples of behaviours that are likely to create insecurity in any relationship, regardless of your attachment style.We cover:Why “is it me or them?” is such a common source of ruminationThe role of self-doubt and self-invalidation in anxious attachmentThe middle ground between dismissing your feelings and being led by themWhy relationship dynamics are almost always co-createdExamples of behaviours that are objectively difficult to build a secure relationship aroundHow inconsistency and unpredictability activate anxious attachment patternsThe importance of zooming out and looking at the big pictureWhen anxiety is a signal of deeper relational misalignmentResourcesFree training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment & Feel Secure in Life and Love
Y'all, buckle up because this one might be the episode you've been waiting for without even knowing it.I'm kicking off a brand new series on relationship development, and we're starting with something I think is going to give you so many aha moments: how your attachment style shows up at every single stage of a relationship, from the butterflies of date one all the way to year seven and beyond. In this episode, we're diving deep into anxious attachment specifically, the hypervigilance, the reassurance-seeking, the self-abandonment, the exhaustion of white-knuckling your way through a relationship and I'm breaking down exactly what's happening in your nervous system at each stage and why. Girl, this is the stuff no one ever taught us, and it changes everything.Inside the Episode:Merging, Individuation, and Interdependence How Anxious Attachment Shows Up Stage by Stage Your Attachment Style Is Not Who You Are If you're listening to this and thinking this is me and I'm ready to actually change it, I want you to know that's exactly what we do inside my Private 1:1 Coaching Intensive. We go deep on healing your attachment style, rebuilding your identity, and helping you finally show up as the secure, magnetic woman you already are. Apply here
Welcome back to Restoring the Soul with Michael John Cusick. In this episode, Michael John Cusick and AJ Denson continue their exploration of the “four S's” of attachment—seen, soothed, safe, and secure—focusing today on the final S: secure. Together, they dive into the meaning of secure attachment, both psychologically and spiritually, and how it's reflected in our relationships with God and others.Drawing on personal experiences, biblical narratives, and insights from attachment theory, Michael explains how secure attachment is foundational to human flourishing and to our sense of inner peace—even in life's most challenging moments. They discuss the difference between secure and insecure attachment, the impact of technology on connection, and what it means to be loved by God in both our strength and vulnerability.Support the showENGAGE THE RESTORING THE SOUL PODCAST:- Follow us on YouTube - Tweet us at @michaeljcusick and @PodcastRTS- Like us on Facebook- Follow us on Instagram & Twitter- Follow Michael on Twitter- Email us at info@restoringthesoul.com Thanks for listening!
Get a Free Course to Heal From Toxic Relationships with a Free Trial to PDS and Keep It For Life http://offer.personaldevelopmentschool.com/narcissistic-relationships?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=narcissistic-relationships&utm_medium=organic&utm_term=bTddMHakHJI&utm_content=pod-04-04-26&el=podcast Do you feel like you're not just losing someone… but being replaced? That pain can feel overwhelming; like it says something about your worth, your value, or whether you ever truly mattered. But what if that fear isn't about them at all? Episode Summary In this episode, Thais Gibson explains why the fear of being replaced can feel so intense, especially for those with an Anxious Attachment Style. You'll learn how this fear is often rooted in early conditioning, where love, approval, and safety became intertwined and how breakups can trigger deeper beliefs about worthiness and being “not enough.” Thais also breaks down why rejection feels so personal, how subconscious self-perception shapes emotional pain, and how the process of individuation helps you rebuild a strong sense of self that is no longer dependent on being chosen. Key Takeaways ✔️ Fear of being replaced is often tied to self-worth wounds ✔️ Anxious Attachment can interpret breakups as proof of not being enough ✔️ Rejection feels painful when it reflects existing self-beliefs ✔️ Early conditioning links love, approval, and survival ✔️ Outsourcing your worth creates emotional dependency ✔️ Individuation builds a strong, self-defined identity ✔️ Healing reduces fear of rejection and replacement Timestamps 00:00 – The Fear of Being Replaced 01:41 – It's Not Just The Absence Of The Person 03:47 – Why Rejection Is So Painful 05:47 – 7-Day Free Trial Promo 06:35 – The Fear Of Being Replaceable Rarely Starts In Adulthood 09:03 – Individuation 11:49 – Practice Individuation in the 7 Areas of Life 13:06 – Learn More With the Personal Development School Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she's helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships. Helpful Resources:
Send us Fan MailWhy do some relationships feel safe… while others feel chaotic?In this powerful episode of Joey Pinz Conversations, Joey Pinz sits down with relationship and attachment trauma expert Bev Mitelman to unpack the psychology behind attachment styles, emotional regulation, and the path to inner peace.Bev shares her journey from a chaotic childhood to becoming a certified attachment trauma practitioner, helping people break toxic relationship cycles and rebuild self-worth. Together, they explore anxious vs avoidant behaviors, emotional maturity, nervous system regulation, radical honesty, and whether suffering is optional.This conversation blends science, philosophy, and lived experience — and ends with a profound truth: peace may be the precursor to happiness.If you've ever struggled with communication, people-pleasing, emotional distance, or repeating unhealthy relationship patterns — this episode is for you.
Join The Unbothered Woman: https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/theunbotheredwoman?podcast=Podcast%20Episode%20158If you know what it feels like to be happy and terrified at the same time, to finally have something good and spend every day waiting for it to be taken away, this episode is for youIn this episode I break down why you can have something genuinely good right in front of you and still feel paralysed by the fear of losing it, why nothing he does or says will ever be enough to make that feeling go away for good, and exactly what needs to shift inside you so that it finally does.→ Pre-Order my NEW Book: Unbothered: The Art of Letting Go to Find Yourself by Margarita: https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/unbothered-book-preorder → Pre-ordered already? Claim your bonus: https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/pre-order → FREE: The Unbothered Reset: 30 Days to Become Her.Every day for 30 days, you'll receive a short email. Start the 30-Day Reset: https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/unbotheredreset → The New Rules Book: https://linktr.ee/thenewrulesbook→ HER Journal: https://margaritanazarenko.myshopify.com/products/her-journalTopics this episode covers: how to heal anxious attachment, relationship anxiety, how to fix relationship anxiety, anxious attachment, anxious attachment style, how to fix anxious attachment, how to stop relationship anxiety, how to feel secure in a relationship, nervous system and relationships, nervous system regulation, how to regulate your nervous system, how to feel safe in relationships, secure attachment, how to become securely attached, why can't I be happy in my relationship, overthinking in relationships, how to stop overthinking in relationships, reassurance seeking in relationships, why do I need constant reassurance, fearful avoidant attachment, anxious avoidant relationship, how to stop needing reassurance, internal security, how to trust yourself in relationships, how to stop self abandoning, self abandonment in relationships, how to be present in a relationship, relationship advice for women, dating advice for women, dating anxiety, dating with anxious attachment, how to enjoy dating, how to stop being anxious when dating, feminine energy, feminine energy in relationships, how to be unbothered, unbothered woman, how to attract a good man, high value woman, how to be a high value woman, emotionally unavailable men, how to feel chosen, how to stop people pleasing, codependency, codependency in relationships, how to heal yourself, identity transformation, feminine energy 2026.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Get 7 Days Free Plus Lifetime Access to Our Ending Codependency Course — Free Forever! Start Creating Relationships That Last. https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life-codependency-course?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=dream-life-codependency-course&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-03-28-26&el=podcast Do you actually love them… or do you just want to be chosen? If you feel intense emotional highs and lows around someone, even when the relationship isn't healthy; it may not be love. It may be your Attachment Style seeking validation and relief from deeper unmet needs. Understanding this difference can completely change how you show up in relationships. Episode Summary In this episode, Thais Gibson breaks down the difference between true connection and the need for validation, especially for those with an Anxious Attachment Style. You'll learn why the intensity you feel toward certain people is not random, how intermittent reinforcement creates emotional addiction, and why chasing someone is often tied to unmet childhood needs. Thais also shares practical steps to help you identify your needs, choose yourself, and build a stronger sense of identity, so you can move from chasing validation to creating real, secure connection. Key Takeaways ✔️ Intense attraction can be driven by unmet needs, not true compatibility ✔️ Anxious Attachment may seek validation through being chosen ✔️ Intermittent reinforcement increases emotional dependency ✔️ Chasing often reflects unresolved core wounds ✔️ Self-validation reduces the need to seek approval externally ✔️ Knowing yourself is key to setting boundaries and standards ✔️ Choosing yourself creates space for healthier relationships Timestamps 00:00 – Do You Really Love Them Or Do You Just Want to Be Chosen? 01:36 – The Intensity You Feel Towards Them is Not Random 03:21 – Step 1: Ask Yourself These Questions 04:49 – Step 2: Intermittent Reinforcement 06:08 – Codependency Course Promo 06:30 – Step 3: Choosing Yourself and Learning Who You Are 08:53 – What Does Healing Look Like? Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she's helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships. Helpful Resources:
In this Ask Steph episode, I'm responding to a question I hear more often than you might expect. Someone has done a lot of work on their anxious attachment patterns, they feel more grounded and secure, and now they find themselves with very little interest in dating or relationships.I talk about how this can sometimes be a natural pendulum swing. When you have spent a long time orienting around other people, trying to be chosen, accommodating, and overextending yourself, it makes sense that there would be a period of pulling back. For many people, that space allows for a real sense of peace, self-expression, and reconnection with who they are outside of a relationship.At the same time, I explore how this experience can come from different places. For some, it reflects genuine contentment in their single life. For others, there may still be a protective element underneath it, particularly if being in a relationship has historically meant losing themselves.This episode is about understanding what is actually driving that shift, so you can move forward in a way that is aligned with what you truly want, rather than simply reacting to your past patterns.
In today's Ask Steph episode, I'm answering the listener question: If you were only going to focus on one thing to start healing anxious attachment, what would it be?While there are many layers to this work, the single place I'd start is building self-worth outside of a relationship.For many anxiously attached people, relationships become the primary place where we seek security, validation, and a sense of worth. But when our wellbeing is tied so tightly to another person, it can leave us feeling anxious, reactive, and out of control.In this episode, I talk about why shifting your focus back onto yourself — your growth, your agency, and your sense of self — can be one of the most powerful first steps in healing anxious attachment.Join the waitlist for the Healing Anxious Attachment Birthday Sale here: https://stephanierigg.com/haa-anniversary-sale-waitlist
Dating with an open heart sounds beautiful until your nervous system has other plans. In this solo In The Trenches audience Q&A episode, Sabrina answers your most raw questions about how to let someone in without losing yourself, how to date after grief, and what it actually looks like to stay present when fear or anxiety is running the show. From navigating new love after loss to the hard truth about anxious attachment and self-accountability, this episode covers the real work of building a healthy relationship: nervous system regulation, emotional ownership, and learning the difference between communicating and controlling. Want your question answered on a future episode? Send in your inquiries, stories, and dating profiles to inthetrenches@sabrinazohar.com If you're ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step HERE! If you're serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE! Get Ad free HERE!Want to work with Sabrina? HERE!Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE!Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! Please support our sponsors! Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year for WAY less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Text SABRINA to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply. ============================= Chapters 00:00 Dating Without Losing Yourself 03:06 Dating After Grief and Loss 05:02 How to Make Space for Grief While Dating 07:51 When and How to Share Your Grief 09:42 Dating with Courage After Hard Times 11:28 What Is Sapiosexuality in Dating 19:30 Nervous System and Emotional Intimacy 24:30 Anxious Attachment and Gaslighting 27:06 Codependency and Emotional Regulation 29:42 Anxious Attachment and Accountability Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
If you've been putting in the work to heal your anxious attachment but still feel like you're treading water, this episode is for you. In today's episode, I'm sharing what I believe are the three core pillars of healing anxious attachment — and why the sequencing of that work matters just as much as the work itself.Whether you're just starting out or have been on this journey for a while, having a clear roadmap can be genuinely grounding. Lack of effort is rarely the problem for anxiously attached people — it's about making sure that energy is directed where it will have the greatest impact.In this episode, I cover:Why the mindset you bring to this work is the real foundation — and how approaching healing from a place of shame will undermine everything elseUnderstanding your nervous system and building the capacity to self-regulate (hint: it's about much more than crisis management)Identifying and shifting the negative core beliefs and core wounds that shape your relationships — and why real self-worth is built through doing, not just affirmationsCommunication skills, boundary-setting, and voicing your needs — and why starting here without the previous two pillars often falls flatThe common pitfall that keeps so many people stuck, and what to focus on instead
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