Ex-Gifted

New year, new me! And by that, I mean I've changed my name, and have been going by Raine in my personal life, and now on the internet as well it seems!Keeping New Year's resolutions has a lot less to do with willpower and resolve than it does with being realistic and setting goals you're meant to keep instead of goals that allow you to give up immediately.If you need help with your goals, join my discord server! https://discord.gg/JkPbnhb—MusicKawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeodLink: [https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune](https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune)License: [https://filmmusic.io/standard-license](https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) About the Ex-Gifted Podcast:If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.We're making exceptional children into functional adults.Thanks!

Problem: It's hard to remember that June and December have different struggles when it comes to productivity, mental health, and executive dysfunction if we don't actually mark the passage of time through the year. Solution: Celebrating the two solstices and two equinoxes is a great way to welcome a new season and actually tangibly remind yourself that things are about to get different. For the upcoming autumn equinox, try some autumnal decor and recipes, but also don't forget about cleaning and decluttering to prepare your home for the winter months when you likely spend more time indoors. Check out the rest of my Ko-Fi page! It's been redesigned and I'm posting so much over there as I work on moving to a new website. I'm hosting challenges, posting previews for blog posts in progress, and of course uploading the video versions of this podcast right here. And the challenges are entirely free for anyone following along while they're currently active! I also have new membership options. The natural 20 membership is ridiculous and includes the entire roleplanning system catalog, plus ongoing membership in the Quest for Chaos with a 1-on-1 session and weekly small-group sessions, plus a private podcast, plus a ton of other stuff. The natural 1 membership is for normal people and only costs $1 a month, but still unlocks every single post that you can only get otherwise with a minimum of a $3 donation, as well as the challenges and on-demand content in the Members Hub. Join the Natural 1 membership for only $1/month! And all monthly subscribers at either level will get a shoutout at the end of each episode of Ex-Gifted! My current goal is to reach a lofty $120 in a single month. This is approximately my monthly budget for podcast hosting, web hosting, email service, and all those other little things that add up. Once I reach that point – I'm having a party and will look forward to putting out some rewards and coming up with some kind of fun goal other than just breaking even. You can also find me at https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized (https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized) on Instagram and https://chaoticorganized.com/ (https://chaoticorganized.com) for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration. — Music Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) About the Ex-Gifted Podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast. Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers. Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more. Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood. We're making exceptional children into functional adults. Thanks!

pick it up every day (note this doesn't mean you need to do anything elaborate in it) time management consists of two parts: what you do and when you do it. This results in 4 possible combinations Plan what you do AND when you do it Plan when you're working, but not exactly what - aka time blocking. Combining time blocking and to-dos can be a great system for ND people who need some structure but also need the flexibility in their system to work on their current interests Plan what you do, but not exactly when - aka to-do lists Plan neither what you do NOR when you do it. Wait what? Remember how I recommended intentions a few weeks ago? If you're not trying to rein in the chaos, but let it flow free, while still having a bit more ownership over the flavor of your days, setting intentions can actually work great without a schedule as such. think about planning style (more strict or less) don't start with a plan. Planning is exciting, but following the plan often isn't. Starting with an elaborate plan can kill any interest in picking up your planner every day. In the beginning, productivity comes second to actually using your planner. track your time (but only temporarily) Check out my post onhttps://chaoticorganized.com/time-management-for-executive-dysfunction/ ( the ABCs of time management) to learn more about time blocking. rolling weekly (can be used in a bullet journal or any planner with enough space to make it) Intention-setting can be systematized to some degree in order to use it more effectively, without turning it into an overbearing task list. This is especially useful when you're just getting started by boosting your results early on, instead of just kind of flapping about, forgetting about your intentions almost as soon as you set them. Future you is a pal. You need to always take care of future you. Schedule time to plan Think about the buckets of your life and the tasks you need to do for each. (home, personal, family, work, friends, school, etc...) consider keeping a record of all the recurring things in each bucket (can work great for the rolling to-do list) feel free to sketch a plan on a sheet of paper, or in a rocketbook before committing it to your planner but also don't be afraid to make mistakes. Go to the last page and create a pen test page (https://littlecoffeefox.com/ultimate-bullet-journal-cheat-sheet (little coffee fox) has some great tips for getting started - skip to the end to see how she recommends to deal with fear of getting started) or a grid spacing page. If you start with something kind of ugly and purely functional, you'll feel less paralyzed when it comes to messing something up later on erasable pens (Frixion) If your current planner style isn't quite working, or if it's feeling too stale, try something new on the next page instead of trying to push through. Don't fix what isn't broken, but don't hold onto something just because it used to work. If you're using a preprinted planner, think of your planner pages more as....suggestions...than actual rules you need to stick to. Ignore parts that don't work, or change them to something that does work. if color coding really isn't your thing, use a different code - symbols/signifiers, columns/boxes, etc... There are ways to separate your tasks without use of the Multicolor pen. brain dump daily or weekly (as needed or as your planner allows) and translate this into to-do lists. Not everything in your brain needs to go on the to-do list Consider using more checklists to proactively help you remember what to do, and fewer trackers to retroactively judge what you did (or didn't do) Trackers are still great for information instead of motivation (like tracking menstrual cycle or headache days). If you really love your habit trackers, check out the judgment free (and money-free) options https://ko-fi.com/reneliza/shop (on my Ko-fi page). schedule time to schedule - yeah, I said this twice. That's because I...

There's a new podcast on the way, but it needs more work than a standard episode, so I recorded a little something until then. Find the video here: https://youtu.be/VCHGrghlFzU It's tossed about a lot: that you will never grow if you allow yourself to be comfortable. It's bullshit. Growth itself is uncomfortable, but comfort and safety provide the best foundation for the discomfort of growth. In other words, you don't grow by forcing yourself into uncomfortable situations. Growth comes when you take care of yourself and leave space for it. One thing that can help you make space for growth is learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.  Cultivating discomfort tolerance is one of the best things I've done for myself - my word of the year is growth after all - but it doesn't bring about growth on its own (except for growing your discomfort tolerance, that is.) What discomfort tolerance does do is take away some of sting and fear of growth, because when things get uncomfortable you know you can handle it, and you know how to take care of yourself and keep yourself as comfortable as possible through this period of growth. Growth is a time of vulnerability - so you must keep yourself safe, secure, and as comfortable as you can in all other areas during that time. The last thing is to remember that growth isn't meant to continue indefinitely. In preparation for the uncomfortable winter, plants die back and halt growth. People have to do something similar, allowing periods of quiet consolidation after their time of rapid expansion.  If plants don't finish this process before the first freeze, they can die. If we don't do it, we face burnout. Keep growing (and also resting) ---------- Check out the rest of my Ko-Fi page! It's been redesigned and I'm posting so much over there as I work on moving to a new website. I'm hosting challenges, posting previews for blog posts in progress, and of course uploading the video versions of this podcast right here. And the challenges are entirely free for anyone following along while they're currently active! I also have new membership options. The natural 20 membership is ridiculous and includes the entire roleplanning system catalog, plus ongoing membership in the Quest for Chaos with a 1-on-1 session and weekly small-group sessions, plus a private podcast, plus a ton of other stuff. The natural 1 membership is for normal people and only costs $1 a month, but still unlocks every single post that you can only get otherwise with a minimum of a $3 donation, as well as the challenges and on-demand content in the Members Hub. Join the Natural 1 membership for only $1/month! And all monthly subscribers at either level will get a shoutout at the end of each episode of Ex-Gifted! My current goal is to reach a lofty $120 in a single month. This is approximately my monthly budget for podcast hosting, web hosting, email service, and all those other little things that add up. Once I reach that point – I'm having a party and will look forward to putting out some rewards and coming up with some kind of fun goal other than just breaking even. You can also find me at https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized (https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized) on Instagram and https://chaoticorganized.com/ (https://chaoticorganized.com) for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration. — About the Ex-Gifted Podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast. Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers. Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination,...

Mentioned this episode: 1. https://youtu.be/J4-tkzZjUoM (YouTube video for this episode) 2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkZEEQG6IVE (How to ADHD Bullet Journaling) 3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBv5cRbAqGU (WheezyWaiter explains what Bullet Journaling ACTUALLY is) 4. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rzDXRv7a6816rBbydKs-IK7rI8MBEf43/view?usp=sharing (Printable vertical weekly planner) 5. https://chaoticorganized.com/time-management-for-executive-dysfunction/ (ABCs of Time Management) (where you can sign up for the time management 5 day email course with time tracker workbook) 6. https://tamethestars.wordpress.com/2022/05/03/using-obsidian-a-year-on/ (Tara's awesome Obsidian tips) 7. https://chaoticorganized.com/how-to-use-rocketbook-for-the-medium-method/ (Digital/analog planning with Rocketbook) Problem: You need a planner, but they've never worked for you in the past and you don't know what kind of planners are good for your brain Solution: It's a myth that certain types of planners only work for neurotypicals and other types work well for all ND people (or even all people with your exact diagnosis.) You need a planner style that addresses your individual struggles and fits your current needs, which may change over time. Some people with Executive Dysfunction have a hard time with lots of extra bits to do every day, so if this is you, you might want to get a more free-form planner instead of one with lots of trackers and prompts built into the pages, making your planner feel like homework (which you then avoid.) Other people with ExD really love the hand-holding and being told exactly what is supposed to go in which spot, which means a planner with lots of extra blanks and prompts and questions will work great for you! If you're not sure which type you are, don't fret if you choose the wrong type at first! Leaving prompts unanswered is not a problem - cover it up with a sticker if you want. If you need prompts you don't have, look up some templates so you can write in your own for things like schedule, gratitude, or trackers. Developing your own planner style isn't something that is figured out ahead of time so you can stick with it forever. You guess, practice, iterate, practice again, evolve, and just keep going. Questions to ask first: 1. What size do you want? - bigger (A5 or up) gives more space, but more space can feel overwhelming - smaller is easier to carry anywhere - crucial when you're still learning not to forget your planner - small spaces serve as a practical limit to how much you can demand of yourself each day 2. Digital or analog (Or both)? - digital is always with you, but it can be harder to navigate or find things once you've forgotten them. There's also no natural limits to what you keep - analog is harder (still not impossible) to ignore because it exists physically. Bookmarks and tabs make it easy to find your spot, and you can flip through pages to remind yourself of things you didn't even remember writing down. - each has benefits, but many of the perceived strengths of digital are actually weaknesses. If you've been trying digital and just can't figure out why it won't work, give analog a shot even if you really don't think it's right for you 3. Dated or undated? - dated and laid out pages can be a huge convenience, or a huge guilt trip - undated means you have to write in the date, but there's no missed pages if you skip some days here or there 4. Would you benefit from a structured, hourly layout for each day? - I love an hourly layout as a way to work with time agnosia, because it provides a _visual_ representation of how much time you have until that afternoon appointment, or for how long an hour is  - it can also be overwhelming for some people and may tend toward empty space 5. Do you want a lot of prompts, trackers, and special lists to fill in each day, or something more free-form?

In this Episode: https://discord.gg/X27KfAZGTD (My discord community!) https://www.facebook.com/groups/BuJowithADHD/ (Bullet Journaling with ADHD) on Facebook Problem: Those of us who would love to "just use a planner" - that is, if we could keep it up more than 3 days without losing it or entirely forgetting it even exists. Solution: Make simply remembering that your planner exists your number 1 priority when you first start using a planner. Just pick it up. Just look at it. Just carry it with you. Do this every day, even if you don't actually make any plans in it! Specific tips: Set reminders on your phone, or on post-its around the house, to look at your planner at least once a day. Habit stacking - put your planner near something else that you do every day, like making coffee, changing your socks, or even put it on top of your charging phone, to make it harder to forget. Use a Tile or other tracking device so that you can't lose your planner under the bed or in the couch cushions anymore. Bonus tip: For the first week or two, give yourself a sticker every day you use your planner. And yes, just picking up the book and putting in the sticker counts. You can also find me at https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized (https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized) on Instagram and https://chaoticorganized.com/ (https://chaoticorganized.com) for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration. — Music Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) _ About the Ex-Gifted Podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast. Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers. Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more. Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood. We're making exceptional children into functional adults. Thanks!

https://www.subscribepage.com/e9g4w0 (Join my email list and download my time tracking workbook for free). Time tracking apps: (These apps have a free option, but if you choose to sign up for a paid plan using my link I may earn a small commission at no cost to you!) https://track.toggl.com (Toggl) (my FAVORITE and with so many features in their free plan!) https://www.rescuetime.com/rp/chaoticorganized.com (RescueTime) Problem: You don't have enough time to do the things that matter, but your time seems to just get sucked down the drain by pointless things. Often you even look back at the day and can't figure out where all the time went! Solution: To start off, just notice and name your time sinks. Use time tracking, even if just for 3 days (consider using an app if a lot of your time seems to be on your phone or computer) so you can get a better picture of where your time is currently going. To actually gain some of that time back, here's three simple methods you can try, from most chaotic to most organized. Intentions 10 minute timer Schedule Setting intentions (without the other two methods) is peak chaotic time management. This is GREAT for people who feel restricted by things like calendars and checklists. It's all about vibes - not necessarily the specific actions you want to take, but a general focus or feeling for the day. Early on in the day, spend just a few quiet minutes to yourself to decide what you want your day to revolve around, and then remind yourself throughout the day - using post-its, notifications, or even a note scrawled on the back of your hand! Setting a 10 minute timer, where you work on ANYTHING intentional (housework, reading, playing with kids, exercising, painting, journaling - literally anything that is part of what you value) is great because it takes such little time on a daily basis, but over the course of a week, it adds more than an hour of working toward your goals. And even if you forget til the end of the day, it only takes 10 minutes to get it done. Finally, you have the option to schedule your intentional time right into the calendar. When the time comes around, you put down the phone or otherwise pull yourself away from the drain and spend the dedicated time working on something intentional, then go back to whatever you were doing before without judgment. These methods can also be combined in any way you want. You can schedule in 10 minutes to work on the intention you set in the morning, for example - or you can use any one method on its own. Check out the rest of my Ko-Fi page! It's been redesigned and I'm posting so much over there as I work on moving to a new website. I'm hosting challenges, posting previews for blog posts in progress, and of course uploading the video versions of this podcast right here. And the challenges are entirely free for anyone following along while they're currently active! I also have new membership options. The natural 20 membership is ridiculous and includes the entire roleplanning system catalog, plus ongoing membership in the Quest for Chaos with a 1-on-1 session and weekly small-group sessions, plus a private podcast, plus a ton of other stuff. The natural 1 membership is for normal people and only costs $1 a month, but still unlocks every single post that you can only get otherwise with a minimum of a $3 donation, as well as the challenges and on-demand content in the Members Hub. Join the Natural 1 membership for only $1/month! And all monthly subscribers at either level will get a shoutout at the end of each episode of Ex-Gifted! My current goal is to reach a lofty $120 in a single month. This is approximately my monthly budget for podcast hosting, web hosting, email service, and all those other little things that add up. Once I reach that point – I'm having a party and will look forward to putting out some rewards and coming up with some kind of fun goal other than just breaking even. You...

https://ko-fi.com/reneliza/link/SMOL (Get the 2022 roleplanning journal for 10% off with the code SMOL) Problem: Things feel too big for it to even be worth it to get started on them. And jumping from task to task is too inefficient. Solution: A simple reframe in favor of taking the smallest step that can move you forward instead of tackling big projects in their entirety (sometimes - when appropriate for your brain and your to-do list.) When your focus is too slippery to hold onto anyway, trying to force yourself to stay on task can end up meaning that you lose even more time to the void than you do in the endless stream of transitions bouncing between tasks, as long as you a) don't resist the bounce and b) appreciate the increased activity and literal steps you take throughout the day when you focus on lots of small things instead of one or two big things. Check out my Ko-Fi page! It's been redesigned and I'm posting so much over there as I work on moving to a new website. I'm hosting challenges, posting previews for blog posts in progress, and of course uploading the video versions of this podcast right here. And the challenges are entirely free for anyone following along while they're currently active! I also have new membership options. The natural 20 membership is ridiculous and includes the entire roleplanning system catalog, plus ongoing membership in the Quest for Chaos with a 1-on-1 session and weekly small-group sessions, plus a private podcast, plus a ton of other stuff. The natural 1 membership is for normal people and only costs $1 a month, but still unlocks every single post that you can only get otherwise with a minimum of a $3 donation, as well as the challenges and on-demand content in the Members Hub. Join the Natural 1 membership for only $1/month! And all monthly subscribers at either level will get a shoutout at the end of each episode of Ex-Gifted! My current goal is to reach a lofty $120 in a single month. This is approximately my monthly budget for podcast hosting, web hosting, email service, and all those other little things that add up. Once I reach that point – I'm having a party and will look forward to putting out some rewards and coming up with some kind of fun goal other than just breaking even. You can also find me at https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized (https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized) on Instagram and https://chaoticorganized.com/ (https://chaoticorganized.com) for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration. — Music Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) About the Ex-Gifted Podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast. Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers. Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more. Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood. We're making exceptional children into functional adults. Thanks!

https://discord.gg/JkPbnhb (Chaotic Organized Discord server)  Problem: You have an ocean of attention that never seems to flow in the direction you want it to go  Solution: By engaging your physical senses, the mind becomes easier to direct. In this way, it's sometimes possible to bring on hyper focus, or the flow state.  Some ideas for sensory engagement  Sound: instrumental music (or music in a language you don't know IF you don't know the lyrics), binaural waves, ambient sounds  Smell: candle, coffee or tea, chewing gum  Taste: coffee or tea, chewing cum  Touch: fidget toy - purchased or homemade, a smooth stone, putty, a pen, literally anything  Sight: watch your candle, watch your fidget, close your eyes and visualize your work project (helpful for art, making videos, writing fiction, etc...)  When my senses are all engaged, and my mind is focused on what I want to write, after a few minutes, my mind can't hold back any more. It's like an itch in the back of my brain that I have to scratch immediately, and only writing can scratch that itch.  Check out the rest of my Ko-Fi page! It's been redesigned and I'm posting so much over there as I build content for my new website. I'm hosting challenges, posting previews for blog posts in progress, and of course uploading the video versions of this podcast right here. And the challenges are entirely free for anyone following along while they're currently active!  I also have new membership options. The natural 20 membership is ridiculous and includes the entire roleplanning system catalog, plus ongoing membership in the Quest for Chaos with a 1-on-1 session and weekly small-group sessions, plus a private podcast, plus a ton of other stuff.  The natural 1 membership is for normal people and only costs $1 a month, but still unlocks every single post that you can only get otherwise with a minimum of a $3 donation, as well as the challenges and on-demand content in the Members Hub. Join the Natural 1 membership for only $1/month! And all monthly subscribers at either level will get a shoutout at the end of each episode of Ex-Gifted!  My current goal is to reach a lofty $120 in a single month. This is approximately my monthly budget for podcast hosting, web hosting, email service, and all those other little things that add up. Once I reach that point – I'm having a party and will look forward to putting out some rewards and coming up with some kind of fun goal other than just breaking even.  You can also find me at https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized (https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized) on Instagram and https://chaoticorganized.com/ (https://chaoticorganized.com) for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration.  —  Music Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod  Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune)  License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license)  About the Ex-Gifted Podcast:  If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast. Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood.  Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.  Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more. Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.  We're making exceptional children into functional adults. Thanks!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QWIxElEnc8 (Dr. K on motivation) (CW for problematic language in linked video, probably) Problem: There's stuff you have to do but just don't want to do Solution: Figuring out why I do want to do something works way better for me than just pushing through, trying to convince or cajole myself, or "waiting until motivation strikes" When there's something I really need to do, it usually comes with rewards or consequences. This means I can have a conversation where I actually talk myself through my thoughts, motivations, and underlying assumptions - without actually pressuring myself or trying to "talk myself into it" by instead just asking questions and getting curious. Once I give up on the story that "I don't want to do this" (which is untrue anyway, since I want to gain the reward or avoid the consequence), it becomes much easier to get started. And when there's something that I don't need to do, but am just pushing it on myself because of societal expectation - like folding laundry - I just don't do it. I'm a grown adult which means that nobody gets to say how things work in my house but me. (Well...me and my partner, who knows how to fold his own clothes because he's also a grown up) But that also means that there's nobody to do the things I want done but me (and again, my partner.) If having the dishes piled up is stressing me out, and I want them washed and put away, then I necessarily want to wash the dishes - since there's no other way for them to get washed. And I care about myself and want to do nice things to take care of me. Realizing that there's a difference between being motivated to do something, and being inspired to do it, has made it easy for me to give up on waiting for that feeling because I know there's nothing inspiring about doing housework. Simply the motivation that is the reward of having a house that is nice to exist in can be enough. Check out the rest of my Ko-Fi page! It's been redesigned and I'm posting so much over there as I work on moving to a new website. I'm hosting challenges, posting previews for blog posts in progress, and of course uploading the video versions of this podcast right here. And the challenges are entirely free for anyone following along while they're currently active! I also have new membership options. The natural 20 membership is ridiculous and includes the entire roleplanning system catalog, plus ongoing membership in the Quest for Chaos with a 1-on-1 session and weekly small-group sessions, plus a private podcast, plus a ton of other stuff. The natural 1 membership is for normal people and only costs $1 a month, but still unlocks every single post that you can only get otherwise with a minimum of a $3 donation, as well as the challenges and on-demand content in the Members Hub. Join the Natural 1 membership for only $1/month! And all monthly subscribers at either level will get a shoutout at the end of each episode of Ex-Gifted! My current goal is to reach a lofty $120 in a single month. This is approximately my monthly budget for podcast hosting, web hosting, email service, and all those other little things that add up. Once I reach that point – I'm having a party and will look forward to putting out some rewards and coming up with some kind of fun goal other than just breaking even. You can also find me at https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized (https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized) on Instagram and https://chaoticorganized.com/ (https://chaoticorganized.com) for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration. — Music Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) About the Ex-Gifted Podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you...

With social media and advertisers spending billions to buy as much of our attention as they can, we owe it to ourselves to learn how to hold onto some of it to invest in ourselves. If you find that your attention is harder to hang onto even than it is normally, you might need an Attention Reset. These are the things I do to hold onto more of that most valuable asset I own - my attention.  I go over rules for a short but strict reset period, and also changes that I try to carry through in my everyday life that have helped me reclaim my attention to use for my own benefit.  Everyday Rules No screens within 1 hour of waking up No screens while eating No screens (except Kindle) on the toilet No screens/speakers in the shower No screens except Kindle within 1 hour of bedtime Timer on for mobile games Timer on for social media Reset Week 1 (strict) No audiobooks or TV No screens on walks No video games No YouTube Kindle okay No social media Reset Week 2 (relaxed) No screens on walks except walking brainstorm Audiobooks okay 1 hour of TV/day No mobile games except sudoku, crossword, chess 1 hour (timed) for video games Educational Youtube only - with timer on No facebook. Instagram only for work (timer on) Check out the rest of my Ko-Fi page! It's been redesigned and I'm posting so much over there as I work on moving to a new website. I'm hosting challenges, posting previews for blog posts in progress, and of course uploading the video versions of this podcast right here. And the challenges are entirely free for anyone following along while they're currently active! I also have new membership options. The natural 20 membership is ridiculous and includes the entire roleplanning system catalog, plus ongoing membership in the Quest for Chaos with a 1-on-1 session and weekly small-group sessions, plus a private podcast, plus a ton of other stuff. The natural 1 membership is for normal people and only costs $1 a month, but still unlocks every single post that you can only get otherwise with a minimum of a $3 donation, as well as the challenges and on-demand content in the Members Hub. Join the Natural 1 membership for only $1/month! And all monthly subscribers at either level will get a shoutout at the end of each episode of Ex-Gifted! My current goal is to reach a lofty $120 in a single month. This is approximately my monthly budget for podcast hosting, web hosting, email service, and all those other little things that add up. Once I reach that point – I'm having a party and will look forward to putting out some rewards and coming up with some kind of fun goal other than just breaking even. You can also find me at https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized (https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized) on Instagram and https://chaoticorganized.com/ (https://chaoticorganized.com) for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration. — Music Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) About the Ex-Gifted Podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast. Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers. Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more. Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood. We're making exceptional children into functional adults. Thanks!

There comes a point in April when I...just...can't.... In March I'm hit with some new spring energy and I do so many things and then suddenly I find myself wading through molasses and everything just seems harder than it normally is. My normal flow slows to a standstill. And yet it always comes as a surprise to me. Part of embracing my chaotic nature means not fighting against the fact that my life goes in cycles and I can't be on in the same way all the time. Here are some things I do when things start to slow down for me: Remind myself "I can stand up." I pick the smallest step I can take toward my goals and do just that one small thing. Usually this makes following steps a lot easier. Instead of trying (and failing) to talk myself into something, I take some https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjTuubO1Zb3AhVEbs0KHeaZCwcQwqsBegQIGxAB&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DnI2VQ-ZsNr0&usg=AOvVaw1WQ2uxGqqfOoGLahVZPJhE (advice from Mel Robbins) and count down from 5, then go ahead and get moving. For things that just aren't working, I practice https://chaoticorganized.com/exgifted-procrastinate-productively/ (productive procrastination) and do something else instead. Letting my chaos demon take the steering wheel for a bit - instead of thinking about how I can't do the thing I should do or distracting myself with social media - means that I take some action on something important to me. Even though it's not the thing I thought I should be doing. https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Check out my Ko-Fi page!) It's been redesigned and I'm posting so much over there as I work on moving to a new website. I'm hosting challenges, posting previews for blog posts in progress, and of course uploading the video versions of this podcast right here. And the challenges are entirely free for anyone following along while they're currently active! I also have new membership options. The natural 20 membership is ridiculous and includes the entire roleplanning system catalog, plus ongoing membership in the Quest for Chaos with a 1-on-1 session and weekly small-group sessions, plus a private podcast, plus a ton of other stuff. The natural 1 membership is for normal people and only costs $1 a month, but still unlocks every single post that you can only get otherwise with a minimum of a $3 donation, as well as the challenges and on-demand content in the Members Hub. https://ko-fi.com/reneliza/tiers (Join the Natural 1 membership) for only $1/month! And all monthly subscribers at either level will get a shoutout at the end of each episode of Ex-Gifted! Find it all at https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza) My current goal is to reach a lofty $120 in a single month. This is approximately my monthly budget for podcast hosting, web hosting, email service, and all those other little things that add up. Once I reach that point – I'm having a party and will look forward to putting out some rewards and coming up with some kind of fun goal other than just breaking even. You can also find me at https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized (https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized) on Instagram and https://chaoticorganized.com (https://chaoticorganized.com) for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration. — Music Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) About the Ex-Gifted Podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast. Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while...

Ex-Gifted is now the Chaotic Organized podcast. But still called "Ex-Gifted"! I'm still going to be all about executive dysfunction and telling the story of how I'm working to get my shit together on a daily basis so that you can hopefully learn from my mistakes (hey now - my successes too!) Please recommend it to any of your friends who can relate to the experience of being neurodivergent - or frankly just different - and not understanding how adults are supposed to do all of these things in the few short hours we have in the day. The biggest difference from when I started this podcast a year ago is that I've learned that I'm more successful when I have robust structures in place and also I lean heavily on what my chaos brain is good at. I'm not trying to shut up my chaos demon, or shut it down. I'm letting it run wild within a contained space. Am I bring a parent to my brain? This just sounds like parenting... My chaos brain is great at coming with all kinds of cool ideas and it's really powerful when it's allowed to chase rabbits down their holes as it wants, but without the organized side, the chaotic side doesn't really get anything done. And that's where I'm going with the podcast - the systems and structures that allow me to actually get shit done, but the passion and power my chaos demon provides. And don't worry, yes, I'll talk you through those systems, even if you don't podcast yourself, the point is just in building the structure to apply it to your own life. Since your own chaos brain might not be exactly in sync with mine, I'm also starting up a catalog that allows you to go through your own interests on demand. Follow your own Chaos Brain's interests and don't worry about doing it on my time! https://ko-fi.com/reneliza/tiers (Join the Natural 1 membership) for only $1/month! --- https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Check out my Ko-Fi page!) It's been redesigned and I'm posting so much over there as I work on moving to a new website. I'm hosting challenges, posting previews for blog posts in progress, and of course uploading the video versions of this podcast right here. And the challenges are entirely free for anyone following along while they're currently active! I also have new membership options. The natural 20 membership is ridiculous and includes the entire roleplanning system catalog, plus ongoing membership in the Quest for Chaos with a 1-on-1 session and weekly small-group sessions, plus a private podcast, plus a ton of other stuff. The natural 1 membership is for normal people and only costs $1 a month, but still unlocks every single post that you can only get otherwise with a minimum of a $3 donation, as well as the challenges and on-demand content in the Members Hub. And all monthly subscribers at either level will get a shoutout at the end of each episode of Ex-Gifted! Find it all at https://ko-fi.com/reneliza My current goal is to reach a lofty $120 in a single month. This is approximately my monthly budget for podcast hosting, web hosting, email service, and all those other little things that add up. Once I reach that point - I'm having a party and will look forward to putting out some rewards and coming up with some kind of fun goal other than just breaking even. You can also find me at https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized on Instagram and http://chaoticorganized.com for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration. --- Music Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license)

Listen to the https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLeUvZvuvAs (Power of Yet) Check out my https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Ko-Fi page)! It's been redesigned and I'm posting so much over there as I work on moving to a new website. I'm hosting challenges, posting previews for blog posts in progress, and of course uploading the video versions of this podcast right here. And the challenges are entirely free for anyone following along while they're currently active!  I also have new membership options. The natural 20 membership is ridiculous and includes the entire roleplanning system catalog, plus ongoing membership in the Quest for Chaos with weekly small-group sessions, plus a private podcast, plus a ton of other stuff. The natural 1 membership is for normal people and only costs $1 a month, but still unlocks every single post that you can only get otherwise with a minimum of a $3 donation, including video episodes of the podcast. And all monthly subscribers at either level will get a shoutout at the end of each episode of Ex-Gifted!  My current goal is to reach a lofty $120 in a single month. This is approximately my monthly budget for podcast hosting, web hosting, email service, and all those other little things that add up. Once I reach that point - I'm having a party and will look forward to putting out some rewards and coming up with some kind of fun goal other than just breaking even.  Find me at https://chaoticorganized.com/ (https://chaoticorganized.com) or at https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized (https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized) for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration.  Music Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) Problem? Topic: You have a fixed mindset or a limiting belief in at least one area. What can we do about it? Just add “yet” Appending the word “yet” to the end of your limiting beliefs takes a limitation you identify with, and puts the tiniest pit of space between you and it. It provides just a sliver of an opening that, with more work, can be the key to unlocking that door. About the Ex-Gifted Podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast. Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers. Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more. Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood. We're making exceptional children into functional adults. Thanks!

Sometimes you have a limitation that you will never be okay with. Or maybe you have a limiting belief that you just can't see any way past. I used to have a tendency to repeat to myself “it's okay it's okay it's okay” Sometimes it helped. Sometimes it rang completely untrue and felt invalidating of my concerns. Now I understand that I can accept that something IS without accepting that it is okay. Accepting that something just fucking is stops my resistance, and minimizes my suffering over things that aren't in my control. And it works even when I'm not okay with anything about the situation. It helps for things that are terrible. It helps with things that I would do anything to change. --- Check out my Ko-Fi page! It's been redesigned and I'm posting *so much* over there as I work on moving to a new website. I'm hosting challenges, posting previews for blog posts in progress, and of course uploading the video versions of this podcast right here. And the challenges are *entirely free* for anyone following along while they're currently active! I also have new membership options. The natural 20 membership is ridiculous and includes the entire roleplanning system catalog, plus ongoing membership in the Quest for Chaos with weekly small-group sessions, plus a private podcast, plus a ton of other stuff. The natural 1 membership is for normal people and only costs $1 a month, but still unlocks every single post that you can only get otherwise with a minimum of a $3 donation. And all monthly subscribers at either level will get a shoutout at the end of each episode of Ex-Gifted! Find it all at https://ko-fi.com/reneliza My current goal is to reach a lofty $120 in a single month. This is approximately my monthly budget for podcast hosting, web hosting, email service, and all those other little things that add up. Once I reach that point - I'm having a party and will look forward to putting out some rewards and coming up with some kind of fun goal other than just breaking even. You can also find me at https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized on Instagram and http://chaoticorganized.com for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration. --- Music Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

So here it finally is: the episode that gave me so. much. grief. that it almost destroyed the Ex-Gifted podcast. Having pushed past my brain's objections and my limiting beliefs, I present it here to you, today. From this side it doesn't seem so threatening, but while I was in my head, I was deep in there, caught up in all the nuance of the topic.  Respect your limits, but throw out your limitations. A limit is a boundary - a line that you can't or shouldn't cross. Limits are great to set to protect yourself emotionally and physically. But be careful - there can be great experiences found in discomfort. Learning your limits will help you take care of yourself, while still stretching and pushing what you once thought you could do. A limitation is an inability. The last sentence in the previous paragraph - about what you once thought you could do - that's about your limitations. Or at least, what you thought were your limitations. Although we all have some hard and fast limitations, we usually believe in a whole lot more limitations than we actually have. And when your thoughts get in your way, and impose (in whole or in part) a limitation upon you simply by your belief in them - that's a limiting belief. A limiting belief has to actually impose a limitation in itself. If your limitation is caused entirely by external factors (like the laws of physics), or by your complete disinterest, then it's not a limiting belief - it's just common sense. Cure limiting beliefs with a healthy dose of skepticism. Find a troubling belief about yourself, and pick it apart. Question every bit of it. Consider if there's any possibility - however small - that your belief may not be entirely true. Ask if there might be other circumstances where it might not be true. Ask if you're enough of an expert when it comes to the topic in question (climbing Mt Everest or whatever it may be) that you're the best person to even judge exactly what circumstances would need to change to make it untrue - especially considering you aren't even a mountain climber (or if you are, insert one of your own limiting beliefs.) Is it possible you don't know as much as you think you do? I sure as hell don't. Make your belief stand trial and force it to prove itself beyond a shadow of a doubt. Use the words "maybe" and "yet" as much as possible. And then next week I'll talk about the other side of limitations - the part no one wants to talk about. If you're not already a supporter at http://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Ko-Fi.com/reneliza) then this will be a good time to sign up for video episodes, because... it's a heavy topic. Make sure to be back next week for me to talk about Acceptance. Get the Roleplanning System at ko-fi.com/reneliza/shop All monthly donors will get a shout-out at the end of each podcast episode! Find me at Exgifted.com or Instagram Also, check out chaoticorganized.com for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration.  Music Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license)

Sorry I've been MIA! Guess what? Having your brain treat you like an asshole is normal. It happens to all of us at some point in time (some more than others.) That's okay! What's important is to move forward anyway. New episodes of Ex-Gifted resume Feb 25, 2022! Support the show at https://ko-fi.com/reneliza for as little as $1/month All monthly donors will get a shout-out at the end of each podcast episode! Find me at Exgifted.com or Instagram Also, check out @chaotic.organized on Instagram and https://chaoticorganized.com for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration.  Music Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Get the Roleplanning System at http://ko-fi.com/reneliza/shop (ko-fi.com/reneliza/shop) in order to get help defining your values and then actually living up to them. 3 months of support in the Quest for Chaos is included. Use code DORMANT for 15% off. All monthly donors will get a shout-out at the end of each podcast episode! Find me at http://exgifted.com/ (Exgifted.com) or http://instagram.com/exgiftedcast (Instagram) @exgiftedcast Also, check out https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized (@chaotic.organized) on Instagram and http://nerdishmom.com (chaoticorganized.com) for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration.  Music  Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod  Link: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNGoFJ-BuRQJRFRlxovazv10vLhACA (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/standard-license&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNFfeXFZ_9vovVF-64j2nHFwu4Ohdw (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) Problem? Topic: Who are you? Identity is a deeply complicated topic, and who you are is further complicated through the process of growth. Many people want to fix themselves while others just want to be true to themselves, without even knowing what that means or how to do it. Can you be true to yourself if you don't always say what you think out of fear of hurting someone? What about the parts of yourself you don't like? Should you learn to like them, or learn to change them? Or just keep on hating yourself and wish you were different? What can we do about it? Choose who you want to be, intentionally Be that person If that sounds hard, then join the Quest for chaos at https://ko-fi.com/s/3d3ac346fe (https://ko-fi.com/s/3d3ac346fe)  We are defined not by any one moment in time, but our path over a lifetime. This means you can be whoever you want, by taking your chosen path. If you don't choose, that is itself a choice to continue on whatever is in front of you at the moment, and it might mean going in circles. Join me again in two weeks for the next Ex-Gifted. About the Ex-Gifted Podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.  Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.  Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.  Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.    We're making exceptional children into functional adults. Thanks! https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Support the show) (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

The Roleplanning System is made with this need for reflection built in! The 13-week calendar gives you the opportunity every 3 months to set your priorities all over again.   And the hourly layout allows you the option to schedule in down time and sleeping hours every day.  Get the Roleplanning System at http://ko-fi.com/reneliza/shop (ko-fi.com/reneliza/shop) Use code DORMANT for a 15% discount through the end of 2021 All monthly donors will get a shout-out at the end of each podcast episode! Find me at http://exgifted.com/ (Exgifted.com) or http://instagram.com/exgiftedcast (Instagram) Also, check out https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized (@chaotic.organized) on Instagram and http://nerdishmom.com (chaoticorganized.com) for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration.  Music  Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod  Link: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNGoFJ-BuRQJRFRlxovazv10vLhACA (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/standard-license&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNFfeXFZ_9vovVF-64j2nHFwu4Ohdw (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) Problem? Topic: We have a tendency to always want to be growing and improving, but that pace leads to burnout. What can we do about it? Take a break every couple of months or when we reach a major milestone to rest and reflect on our priorities Add downtime to our schedules every day Schedule our sleeping hours Join me again in two weeks for the next Ex-Gifted. About the Ex-Gifted Podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.  Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.  Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.  Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.    We're making exceptional children into functional adults. Thanks! https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Support the show) (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

Featured this episode: https://insighttimer.com (Insight Timer) References: https://www.brown.edu/research/labs/britton/research/varieties-contemplative-experience (https://www.brown.edu/research/labs/britton/research/varieties-contemplative-experience) https://www.pacesconnection.com/blog/meditation-may-aggravate-trauma-mindful-action-is-a-better-alternative (https://www.pacesconnection.com/blog/meditation-may-aggravate-trauma-mindful-action-is-a-better-alternative) https://journals.aom.org/doi/full/10.5465/amd.2017.0033 (https://journals.aom.org/doi/full/10.5465/amd.2017.0033) “individuals with a high learning goal orientation (LGO), high need for cognition (NOC), high openness to experience, and high internal locus of control (LOC) showed a significant increase in creativity when feeling bored” (sound like anyone you know?) Donate at http://ko-fi.com/reneliza (ko-fi.com/reneliza) All monthly donors will get a shout-out at the end of each podcast episode! Find me at http://exgifted.com/ (Exgifted.com) or http://instagram.com/exgiftedcast (Instagram) Also, check out https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized (@chaotic.organized) on Instagram and http://chaoticorganized.com (chaoticorganized.com) for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration.  Music  Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod  Link: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNGoFJ-BuRQJRFRlxovazv10vLhACA (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/standard-license&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNFfeXFZ_9vovVF-64j2nHFwu4Ohdw (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) Problem? Topic: A mind that is too loud to enjoy meditation For ADHDers and the rest of my chaos-brain friends, when the world gets quiet is usually when our brains get loudest. There is no greater distraction than my own brain when nothing else is going on. What can we do about it? If you've always wished that meditation could work for you, there are plenty of alternatives to the stereotypical sit-in-silence type portrayed in popular culture. Some of them are probably things that you already do without even realizing. Guided Meditation Walking Meditation Focused or mindful journaling Focused or mindful action Join me again in two weeks for the next Ex-Gifted. About the Ex-Gifted Podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.  Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.  Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.  Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.    We're making exceptional children into functional adults. Thanks! https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Support the show) (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

https://ko-fi.com/s/3d3ac346fe (Preorder the Roleplanning System and enroll in the Quest for Chaos!) Get https://app.labyrinthos.co/?utm_source=shop&utm_medium=nav&utm_campaign=header (Labyrinthos) and get started with tarot for free! Some witchy accounts to follow on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/TheFourQueens (Kelly-Ann Maddox) https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyXvjYln49ZTxZ2qh8PWxWg (The Witches' Cookery ) https://www.youtube.com/c/RachaelStephen (Rachael Stephen) https://www.youtube.com/user/TossingSpades (The Witch of Wonderlust) But exactly who you want to follow will depend on what you want to learn! My list has an obvious European bent due to that being my focus. If you have witchy friends, ask them for resources! Find me at http://exgifted.com/ (Exgifted.com) or http://instagram.com/exgiftedcast (Instagram) Also, check out https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized (@chaotic.organized) on Instagram and http://chaoticorganized.com (chaoticorganized.com) for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration.  Music  Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod  Link: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNGoFJ-BuRQJRFRlxovazv10vLhACA (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/standard-license&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNFfeXFZ_9vovVF-64j2nHFwu4Ohdw (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) Problem? Topic: A lifetime of distancing yourself from anything that doesn't make immediate logical sense, separating you not only from spirit and magic, but your own emotions as well. You want to open yourself up to new beliefs but aren't sure where to start. What can we do about it? Replace skepticism with curiosity.  Research areas of magic that are interesting to you.  Try tarot cards as a sort of magic for beginners. (It's a minute to learn but a lifetime to master!) Join me again in two weeks for the next Ex-Gifted to talk more about growth mindset. About the Ex-Gifted Podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.  Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.  Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.  Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.    We're making exceptional children into functional adults. Thanks! https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Support the show) (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

Download the thought ladder at http://exgifted.com/thoughts (exgifted.com/thoughts) Find the Unfuck Your Brain podcast by Kara Lowenthiel at http://unfuckyourbrain.com (unfuckyourbrain.com) or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Get video versions of this podcast from https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (ko-fi.com/reneliza). Video episodes are free through the next episode, and then will be available to all donors for the month starting in  November 2021. Donors also get a shout out at the end of every episode! Find me at http://exgifted.com/ (Exgifted.com) or http://instagram.com/exgiftedcast (Instagram) Also, check out https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized (@chaotic.organized) on Instagram and http://nerdishmom.com (chaoticorganized.com) for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration.  Music  Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod  Link: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNGoFJ-BuRQJRFRlxovazv10vLhACA (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/standard-license&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNFfeXFZ_9vovVF-64j2nHFwu4Ohdw (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) Problem? Topic: Growth mindset is bullshit When you've been raised with a fixed mindset, it can seem like there's no way for you to develop a growth mindset without already having one. What can we do about it? Look for evidence: Find areas where you already have a growth mindset, no matter how small. Find areas in your life where you've shown growth, no matter how small. Don't just wait for the evidence to mount. Use a thought ladder to address your thoughts directly, by gently working from an unhelpful thought to a helpful one. Join me again in two weeks for the next Ex-Gifted when I'm going to talk about how to develop a growth mindset for the unexplainable. About the Ex-Gifted Podcast from Chaotic Organized: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.  Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.  Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.  Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.    We're making exceptional children into functional adults. Thanks! https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Support the show) (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

Welcome back to season 2 of Ex-Gifted - now a Chaotic Organized podcast! In this quick dip back into the groove, I introduce you to the concept of chaotic organization, and also the concept of growth mindset. Us former gifted kids have a very difficult relationship with growth mindset, because we were so well conditioned into a fixed mindset when we were kids in the gifted program. To just dip your toes in a bit, I recommend trying to ask yourself if it's possible that you're wrong when you believe that you can't do something, or that it's too hard, or that you're just naturally not meant for that. Join again in two weeks where I'll not only give some more actionable advice on how to form a growth mindset, but also rant about why I think so much of the discussion around the topic is absolute bullshit. Find me at http://Exgifted.com (Exgifted.com) or http://instagram.com/exgiftedcast (Instagram) Visit https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (my Ko-Fi page) to see the video version of this episode - and all the episodes for October 2021 for free! Starting November 2021 the video versions will be available for anyone who throws $3 into the tip jar for the month, and will include shout-outs to all those supporters as well! Music: Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNGoFJ-BuRQJRFRlxovazv10vLhACA (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/standard-license&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNFfeXFZ_9vovVF-64j2nHFwu4Ohdw (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) About the Ex-Gifted Podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.  Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.  Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.  Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.    We're making exceptional children into functional adults. Thanks! https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Support the show) (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

Watch the video at https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza) Try out the Roleplanning System at https://exgifted.com/roleplan (https://exgifted.com/roleplan) Season 2 of Ex-Gifted will begin on Friday October 1st and it will include VIDEO for all my current Ko-Fi supporters (including monthly subscribers and anyone else who has donated in the last month) Get a taste for free right here as I test out my new setup and rather obviously read from a script lol In the meantime get to exgifted.com/roleplan ASAP and sign up to test the Roleplanning Journal for FREE before I send out character creation worksheets which is happening in just the next few days.  The worksheet is the first step in the Roleplanning System and it takes ideas from D&D character creation as well as character design advice from authors.  Even if you're not in the market for a planner, sign up just to use the worksheet to fully flesh out your RPG characters.  I can't wait to talk to all y'all again soon. Come back and see me October 1!  https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Support the show) (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

Featured This Episode Tools: If you make a purchase through the links below I may be compensated at no cost to you. Thanks! https://amzn.to/2UHlJmP (Clip-on book light) https://amzn.to/2WgOSWx (Waterproof Notebook) http://trello.com/laurenreese7/recommend (Trello): A digital tool for organizing your thoughts Learn More: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/thought-ladder-2/ (Thought Ladder) https://littlecoffeefox.com/morning-pages-changed-life/ (Morning Pages) Donate $3 to help support the show at http://ko-fi.com/reneliza (ko-fi.com/reneliza) All monthly donors will get a shout-out at the end of each podcast episode! Find me at http://exgifted.com/ (Exgifted.com) or http://instagram.com/exgiftedcast (Instagram) Music Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNGoFJ-BuRQJRFRlxovazv10vLhACA (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/standard-license&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNFfeXFZ_9vovVF-64j2nHFwu4Ohdw (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) PROBLEM? Topic: Your mind is possibly the most important thing you can get organized, and it so rarely comes up - even for people with executive dysfunction, but think about it - your world is basically what's inside your head (your ideas), what's outside your head (your environment and belongings), and the interaction between those two things (your actions and how you spend your time). All of those things can and should be kept more organized if you want to achieve your goals. Idea management is especially important to people like us who have a million ideas that we want to be able to save to contemplate later. Here are some ways to save your working memory for the things that matter. What can we do about it? 1. Throw out the thoughts that don't spark joy. 2. Write. Shit. Down. 3. Always have a way to take notes. 4. Mind management is self-care. 5. Make time for your mind. About the Ex-Gifted Podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.  Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.  Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.  Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.    We're making exceptional children into functional adults. Thanks! Hit the subscribe button to join me again for season 2 of Ex-Gifted! https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Support the show) (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

If you purchase through these links I may be compensated at no cost to you. Thanks! Planner: The Kokuyo Jibun Techo isn't widely available at the time of publishing in late-July, but this https://amzn.to/3xWYO5v (academic planner) has a similar hourly layout for the week! Smart watch: I use a https://amzn.to/36SpmZJ (Fitbit Versa 2), but there are manyhttps://amzn.to/3hYqz87 ( affordable options)! Visual Timer: https://amzn.to/3kOdRKS (This) is the one I use, but there's a wide selection available. Dry Erase planner: I have https://amzn.to/3y1vGdh (this calendar) but https://amzn.to/2V3wHCT (this) also looks great Check out my https://nerdishmom.com/time-management-for-executive-dysfunction/ (Ultimate Guide to Time Management), or https://nerdishmom.com/time-sign-up/ (sign up for my newsletter) and a 5 day time management course.  https://exgifted.com/roleplan (Sign up to test the Roleplanning Game) for free and get started being the (dungeon) master of your own time! Donate $3 to support the show at http://ko-fi.com/reneliza (ko-fi.com/reneliza) All monthly donors will get a shout-out at the end of each podcast episode! Music Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNGoFJ-BuRQJRFRlxovazv10vLhACA (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/standard-license&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNFfeXFZ_9vovVF-64j2nHFwu4Ohdw (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) Topic: Hours and days pass you by without even noticing. You're not always aware of the passage of time, you're never sure about what you want to do or when. Building a flexible time management system can actually help give you more time to reach your goals and do the things you love. For many of us, the issue of time management is a non-starter, because we have a poor sense of time in the first place.  If you do not have a good concept of time. How can you possibly even begin to manage it? There's basically two parts to this. You work to develop at least a little bit of a sense of time and at the same time you go forward with what you have, allowing technology to help you keep track of time when it eludes you. What can we do about it? 1. Start small, and start foundational. Use habit stacking.  2. Use tools to outsource your time sense 3. Use timers to keep track of the passage of time 4. Try thinking about your time over a week, instead of a day.  5. These systems are not fixed About the Ex-Gifted Podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.  Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.  Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.  Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.    We're making exceptional children into functional adults. Thanks! Join me again in two weeks for the next Ex-Gifted. https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Support the show) (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

Featured this episode: Take the https://clutterbug.me/what-clutterbug-are-you-test (Clutterbug Quiz) Tools: If you make a purchase through the links below I may be compensated at no cost to you. Thanks! https://amzn.to/3xLuOJt (The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up) https://amzn.to/3kqfOgu (Tile Mate) digital tag You can also support the show by donating at http://ko-fi.com/reneliza (ko-fi.com/reneliza) All monthly donors will get a shout-out at the end of each podcast episode! Sign up to test the all-new Roleplanning Game for free at http://exgifted.com/roleplan (exgifted.com/roleplan) before it comes out and learn how to level up in real life! Find me at http://exgifted.com/ (Exgifted.com) or http://instagram.com/exgiftedcast (Instagram) or email Ren@exgifted.com On Instagram, use the hashtag https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/30toclean/ (#30toClean) and tag https://instagram.com/exgiftedcast (@exgiftedcast) or https://instagram.com/nerdish_mom (@nerdish_mom) for a downloadable prize to help keep your home tidy.   Music  Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod  Link: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNGoFJ-BuRQJRFRlxovazv10vLhACA (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) PROBLEM? Topic: Organizing your stuff Without the help of your parents or your school, you have to build the structures to hold your life together on your own. Here's some guiding principles when it comes to keeping your environment organized in a way that works for you. What can you do about it? 1. Have less stuff - but only to the extent that it makes you happy 2. Use a system that allows you to clean up FAST 3. Have ONE happy place that stays clean in the way you want it.  4. Create some kind of prep zone that allows you to get out the door without stress. 5. When making your system, think about what things you want visible, and what you want hidden About the Ex-Gifted Podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.  Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.  Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.  Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.    We're making exceptional children into functional adults. Thanks! Join me again for the next Ex-Gifted in two weeks to talk about time management. https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Support the show) (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

Sign up to test the Roleplanning Game for free at http://exgifted.com/roleplan (exgifted.com/roleplan)  Donate at http://ko-fi.com/reneliza (ko-fi.com/reneliza) All monthly donors will get a shout-out at the end of each podcast episode! Find me at http://exgifted.com/ (Exgifted.com) or http://instagram.com/exgiftedcast (Instagram) Also, check out https://instagram.com/nerdish_mom (@nerdish_mom) on Instagram and http://nerdishmom.com (nerdishmom.com) for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration.  References: r/Gifted: https://www.reddit.com/r/Gifted/ (https://www.reddit.com/r/Gifted/) https://www.gro-gifted.org/portfolio-items/gifted-physiology-map-of-literature-review/ (Gro-Gifted: Giftedness research) http://www.grcne.com/misperceptions-about-giftedness.html (Misperceptions about Giftedness) https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/6833499/ (Learning disabilities in adolescents with high IQ scores.) H C Faigel. J Dev Behav Pediatr. 1983 Mar;4(1):11-5.  https://www.sengifted.org/post/misdiagnosis-and-dual-diagnosis-of-gifted-children (Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis of Gifted Children) Updated: Jan 10, 2019 By James T. Webb, Edward R. Amend, Nadia E. Webb, Jean Goerss, Paul Beljan, & F. Richard Olenchak. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/?term=Davidson+JW&cauthor_id=10097018 (Innate Talents: Reality or Myth?):  M J Howe, J W Davidson, J A Sloboda. Behav Brain Sci. 1998 Jun; 21(3):399-407; discussion 407-42.  https://www.tiktok.com/@domesticblisters?lang=en (Domestic Blisters on TikTok) https://www.instagram.com/the_mini_adhd_coach/ (The Mini ADHD Coach on Instagram) Music  Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod  Link: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNGoFJ-BuRQJRFRlxovazv10vLhACA (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/standard-license&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNFfeXFZ_9vovVF-64j2nHFwu4Ohdw (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) PROBLEM? Topic: Twice exceptional - what if there's more overlap between giftedness and disability than we thought? 2E or twice exceptional refers to kids who are both gifted and disabled in some way. I offer the possibility that for gifted kids, being neurodivergent is not the exception, but the rule, and that giftedness as a trait might actually be a manifestation of its own neurodivergence. What can we do about it? Research the claim that giftedness is neurodivergence and what support needs gifted kids have Restructure education to offer more support to non-gifted kids in academics, and more support to gifted kids in social and life skills Develop our own systems and structures to fill in the gaps we each have individually. Tune in in 2 weeks to hear more about that. About the Ex-Gifted Podcast:  Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.  Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more. https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Support the show) (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

Donate at http://ko-fi.com/reneliza (ko-fi.com/reneliza) All monthly donors will get a shout-out at the end of each podcast episode! Sign up to be a tester for the brand new Roleplanning Game at exgifted.com/roleplan Find me at http://exgifted.com/ (Exgifted.com) or http://instagram.com/exgiftedcast (Instagram) Music Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNGoFJ-BuRQJRFRlxovazv10vLhACA (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/standard-license&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNFfeXFZ_9vovVF-64j2nHFwu4Ohdw (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) PROBLEM? Inferiority & Superiority: Because we struggle to fit in during our early years, we start to feel lesser than our peers, then when we also have a hard time with personal or professional success in adulthood it becomes even stronger. At the same time, we are repeatedly told that we are special and smarter than the other kids around us, so we start judging others against our own intelligence, which reinforces our idea that the judgments we make against ourselves are valid as well. What can we do about it? Intelligence is not a moral virtue Challenge the idea that we need to judge ourselves against others, either positive or negative Accept that all humans have value simply by virtue of being human. You are no better, but also no worse than anyone else in your self worth About the Ex-Gifted Podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.  Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.  Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.  Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.    We're making exceptional children into functional adults. Thanks! Join me again on July 2nd for the next Ex-Gifted to learn if you might be twice exceptional.  https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Support the show) (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

HuffPo https://www.huffpost.com/entry/quit-go-ahead-its-okay_b_11060204 (Quit. Go ahead. It's okay.) NYT https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/05/smarter-living/knowing-when-to-quit.html (Sometimes You Have to Quit to Get Ahead) Forbes https://www.forbes.com/sites/cherylsnappconner/2013/08/31/when-its-okay-to-quit/ (When It's Okay to Quit) (psst Forbes, it's always okay, even when it's done for the ““wrong”” reasons) Find me at http://exgifted.com/ (Exgifted.com) or Instagram http://instagram.com/exgiftedcast (@exgiftedcast) Music  Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod  Link: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNGoFJ-BuRQJRFRlxovazv10vLhACA (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/standard-license&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNFfeXFZ_9vovVF-64j2nHFwu4Ohdw (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) Problem? Perfectionism: Perseverance is morally neutral BUT - some things are worth the effort Gifted kids often end up on one extreme - quitting everything or being terrified to quit anything.  And ridiculously high expectations don't help, they just add to the stress.  What can we do about it? The trick is to quit the things that are just taking up your time without adding to your life in a way that's meaningful to you, while committing to the things that really matter to you, even when they're hard. We don't need to become better versions of ourselves, and perseverance won't do that anyway because it's morally neutral. We just need to become versions of ourselves who spend time and effort on the things that matter to us while maintaining the mental space to enjoy those things. How to quit 1. Make a list of the things you are going to absolutely commit to doing, starting (or continuing) right now 2. Review the list regularly and recommit to every item on it. 3. If there is an item you don't want to recommit to, answer the question “What changed?” in detail. Make sure your brain isn't trying to talk you out of something you still care about. 4. If you want to put off something on the list, stand up, go to the mirror, and as yourself why. Once you stand up it's usually easier to just do the thing anyway! Don't even worry about “quitting” things that aren't on the list because you never even committed to them. Not everything is do-or-do-not level of importance. About the Ex-Gifted Podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.  Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.  Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.  Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.    We're making exceptional children into functional adults. Thanks! Join me again June 9th for the next Ex-Gifted.  We're going to be talking about gifted kids and our inferiority/superiority duality.. https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Support the show) (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

Visit exgifted.com/perfect to sign up for the mailing list Follow me on Instagram http://instagram.com/exgiftedcast (@exgiftedcast)! Problem: Why do perfectionism and procrastination often go hand in hand, especially in Ex-gifted types? Perfectionism is so misunderstood.  People think that perfectionism means you always put a lot of effort into everything We think of perfectionists as these type A folks with unlimited energy who live the beautiful lives we see on Pinterest and Instagram, with perfect homes, perfect jobs, perfect kids, even perfect pets. Most of us would laugh if you called us perfectionist. That's obviously not perfectionism. Right?  Perfectionism does not mean that you're perfect or that you do everything perfectly.  Perfectionism is not a state of your life, it's a state of your mind.  Gifted kids often think that if you're going to put in the effort that you need to do it flawlessly. Procrastination can stem from a fear that you won't do something well enough or the thought that you don't have time yet to put in the effort needed to do it well enough Perfectionism can look like:  putting things off to the last minute.  half assing things to protect our egos Editing, editing, erasing, rewriting, then shelving indefinitely paralysis - just not doing anything at all I quit art altogether for 25 years after getting a B on a midterm report card in third grade. Because I had one setback, I chose to do nothing rather than learn and improve You can have high standards without the fear that comes from perfectionism How to solve:  Intentionally practice imperfection. Allow yourself to do things well enough. Even allow yourself to do things badly. Let people see your mediocrity and let people see your failures. Don't just sit in shame. What you see as imperfect, others may see as gorgeous. Make bad art, play bad music, do things badly.  As they say, anything worth doing in life is worth doing poorly.  Let people see your mistakes. Let people see your flaws. Let people see you.  The next Ex-Gifted is May 28th about the difference between quitting and running away. The Ex-Gifted Podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast. Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers. Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more. Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood. We're making exceptional children into functional adults. https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Support the show) (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

http://markforster.squarespace.com/autofocus-system/ (The Autofocus System) https://lifehacker.com/the-autofocus-productivity-method-stop-maintaining-to-5704856 (Updated Autofocus System) with lots of discussion Find me at http://exgifted.com/ (Exgifted.com) or http://instagram.com/exgiftedcast (Instagram) Join in on https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/30toclean/ (#30toClean) and tag https://instagram.com/exgiftedcast (@exgiftedcast) or https://instagram.com/nerdish_mom (@nerdish_mom) and all participants will get a downloadable prize of some sort.  Music  Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod  Link: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNGoFJ-BuRQJRFRlxovazv10vLhACA (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/standard-license&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNFfeXFZ_9vovVF-64j2nHFwu4Ohdw (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) Procrastination is pretty foundational for Ex-Gifted types. It's one of the things that make us who we are. What if instead of trying to “stop procrastinating” which has never worked in the past, we started making procrastination work for us? Gifted kids learn the exact possible last moment to start working on an assignment, but as we often end up excelling despite barely putting in any effort, we learn that it's safe to put in even less effort and we often start missing deadlines altogether. But what can we do about it when we just can't drum up the motivation or the willpower? How can we make procrastination work for us? I love to use the autofocus productivity method in order to procrastinate on other tasks I've already deemed worthy of my time. Autofocus uses a master to-do list. When you're ready to get to work, you look over the list and instead of trying to prioritize based on importance, you just work on whatever motivates you at the time. This allows us to skip the time we'd usually spend on prioritization, and at the same time it utilizes and encourages our internal motivation which is crucial for adults with executive dysfunction. You might be afraid that you'll put off the most important tasks - and you might be right - but the important thing to remember is that you're already doing that. Otherwise you don't need any help overcoming procrastination.  The idea here is that we spend the time we'd otherwise be wasting away wishing we could be motivated to work on the right thing, working on something else valuable, even if it isn't the exact right thing. https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Support the show) (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

In this episode: Find me at http://Exgifted.com (Exgifted.com) or http://instagram.com/exgiftedcast (Instagram) Join in on https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/30toclean/ (#30toClean) and tag https://instagram.com/exgiftedcast (@exgiftedcast) or https://instagram.com/nerdish_mom (@nerdish_mom) and all participants will get a downloadable prize of some sort.  Music Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNGoFJ-BuRQJRFRlxovazv10vLhACA (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/standard-license&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNFfeXFZ_9vovVF-64j2nHFwu4Ohdw (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) Adulting is hard: * As a kid your only jobs are good grades and interact with humans * Even for chores, you're given plenty of external motivation * But as an adult all we have is natural consequences and that motivation is pretty spotty * So it feels really hard to do adult things like maintaining a minimum baseline cleanliness of your home * A lot of that difficulty is in our heads. The actual work required in real life isn't excessive once you have reasonable expectations.  * Time yourself to see how much time your regular tasks really take. Show yourself how doable it can be.  * The most important things to keep up with regularly are dishes and laundry * As long as you have a method, keeping up with these tasks can be totally manageable If your washing machine can delay start: Set a timer Process dishes: load or unload the dishes, whatever you have to do  until you reach the end or you have about 3 minutes left on the timer  if there are dishes left, that's okay because you'll get to them tomorrow Go to the laundry and load the washing machine, but delay start until the next day   The next day when you come to the laundry room, your laundry will be freshly washed Move them to the dryer and reload, again delaying until the next day Put your dry clothes into a basket and here's a secret: Folding or hanging is optional.  This means you only have to remember laundry once per day, not two or three times. If your washing machine doesn't have a delay start: Start with your laundry doing a quick wash. Set a timer for however long your quick wash takes and wash your dishes first. Keep yourself occupied on cleaning tasks until the timer goes off Move your clothes straight from the washing machine to the dryer.  This way the idea is that you never really switch out of that cleaning mindset. You're staying in that cleaning zone the entire time until the clothes get into the dryer and that can help by avoiding the transitions of going from cleaning to not cleaning and then trying to remember to go back to cleaning. That's where we get hung up.  Putting away: when you take your stuff out of the dryer, put into a basket and consider that maybe that's “away” enough. It's an intentional laundry pile. Let go of the shame but keep the pile.  Sorting: If you keep a laundry basket or hamper in each bedroom then you won't even need to do any sorting. Put one basket into the washing machine, and when it's dry dump it back into the basket and take it back to its room. Next Ex-Gifted on April 30 is about procrastination. https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Support the show) (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

In this episode: Find Ryan O'Connell at http://How-to-ADU.com (How-to-ADU.com) or http://facebook.com/how-to-adu (Facebook) Music: Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNGoFJ-BuRQJRFRlxovazv10vLhACA (https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune) License: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://filmmusic.io/standard-license&sa=D&source=hangouts&ust=1616970398952000&usg=AFQjCNFfeXFZ_9vovVF-64j2nHFwu4Ohdw (https://filmmusic.io/standard-license) What does it mean to try? “Do or do not. There is no try.”  Do you agree with it? What does Yoda even mean?  M-W.com defines “try” as “to make an attempt” but some people emphasize the “make” while some people emphasize the “attempt.” Most of us actually use it both ways. From the time I was a child well into my 30s, I always expected to succeed on my first attempt. If I failed I wasn't good at it, and therefore I shouldn't do it. I should just leave those things to the people who are naturally good at it.  “There is no try” doesn't mean do effortlessly or don't bother. It means commit to what you are doing and do not hedge your bets. It means focused action. Do and then keep doing. And it means having faith in yourself and what you can do. Knowing the unknowable when it comes to your own abilities. Focused action: There are only two options: you can do or do not. If you do, you might fail a lot. You just take that to mean that you haven't done it yet.  You can also “do not” and still have success by being good at things “without trying”. I stopped putting effort even into things that came easily to me because “a smart person wouldn't have to try” and when being smart is 90% of your identity…? When I failed, I could always say, “Well, that's OK, 'cause I didn't really try.”   What can we do about it? Commit to something you're not good at. Committing to fail isn't good enough because you'll half-ass failing and pretend that counts. Take repeated focused action and commit to a goal that's meaningful and terrifying . You will probably fail along the way. And it will hurt! That means you're going the right way! This momentary failure IS NOT overall failure. Let it hurt and then keep doing. And believe in yourself. Whether you have any reason to or not.  Thank you to Ryan O'Connell, who finally sat me down and made me watch the original trilogy. I hope you enjoy this late April Fools Day present! For anyone in California that's looking to make some money and also help with the housing crisis, check him out at How-to-ADU Join me in two weeks for the next Ex-Gifted to talk about Adulting. About the podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.  I talk about gifted kid burnout, and the damage it causes: battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers. I will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more. I will also offer suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood. Ex-Gifted: making exceptional children into functional adults. Find a new episode of Ex-Gifted every other Friday at http://exgifted.com/ (Exgifted.com) or wherever podcasts are served, and follow the show on http://instagram.com/exgiftedcast (Instagram) https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Support the show) (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)

Are you a former gifted kid who now struggles with basic adulting? Then you'll want to check out Ex-Gifted where host Ren Eliza talks about how the gifted program messed with our minds and offer real solutions to live up to that most likely to succeed expectation. Find Ex-Gifted at exgifted.com or Instagram @exgiftedcast. So if you were exceptional as a child but are barely functional as an adult then join me for ex gifted every other Friday starting April 2nd. Background music: Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license About the podcast: If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast. Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers. Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more. Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood. Ex-Gifted - making exception children into functional adults. Find a new episode of Ex-Gifted every other Friday at https://exgifted.com (exgifted.com) or wherever podcasts are served, and follow the show on Instagram http://instagram.com/exgiftedcast (@exgiftedcast) https://ko-fi.com/reneliza (Support the show) (https://ko-fi.com/reneliza)