FREE YOURSELF... MY JOURNEY... PLOG-Podcast Blog

  It's a little after 3am... FINALLY the house is cooling off and poor bigboy can finally sleep

  *** Added: Findings/Emphysema Kimberly please call the office in the morning. Per Oncology. DIAGNOSES BACK TO YOUR RECORD. Thank you. Best, dr. W ***   Free Yourself...My Journey freeyourselfmyjourney@yahoo.com  

  It's good to be back... ummmm... To the construction site?. Because it surely, never felt like home. Home will always be back where I came from... where I belonged. It all makes sense. Even sometimes the best eyes, can't identify the secondary source.  *** *** What's next? Nothing. It is. What it is.

  Kimberly, Yes, fighting Ovarian Remnant Syndrome (ORS) with secondary ovarian cancer for 10 years is an absolute incredible feat of resilience and strength. While long-term survival in ovarian cancer is becoming more common due to advancements in treatment, reaching 10 years-particularly with the added complexity of ORS, where cancerous cells developed from intentionally left behind tissue-marks you as a part of a specialized group of long-term survivors. *** Visit with Snoreo's oncology group last week... back in 2 weeks❤️

  Stonewalling occurs when someone shuts down, refuses to communicate, or withdraws from a conversation, often as a defense mechanism from hearing the truth. When confronted with facts/truth,  this response behavior is a form of conflict avoidance. In some cases, to manipulate, exert power, and punish the other person. Let's face it. Normal communication skills involve conflict resolution. Working out problems. Not evading them.

  When you try to have a conversation with someone... who doesn't want to act like a grown-responsible-man in his later years

  "Observation era" Part of your life which is a conscious, often transformation phase. This phase of life consists of focusing on watching your own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors... instead of the environment that surrounds you (others behaviors). There is no longer your immediate reactions or any reactions at all. This is a conscious way to recharge, reset by "going inward" of oneself.

  *Podcast episode timed out at end/error... will follow-up on next audio *** Recharging lost energy by stepping out of "public conservation mode" involves consciously withdrawing from high-stimulation, social, or demanding environments to allow for mental and physical restoration. Similar to limiting a battery to 60-80% to avoid strain, "public conservation mode" represents a state of constant, low-level burnout or high-stress, and exiting it—entering a phase of intentional solitude—allows for deep recharging. ⏰️

One day, it's record snow... Next day, it's record rain. One thing however, that is certain is... if you want something done Regardless of how you feel. "Do It Yourself." Because you will never, EVER be able to rely on any narc. All you CAN count on from them is excuses, and child-like games. Back of the property is FINALLY back to it's original state of NEAT, CLEAN and TIDY. Because I got tired of relying on someone who is too busy worrying about themselves and eating poptarts. I am walking into this next chapter of my life exhausted... but I will no longer be mommy to others adult son's games.

  *Podcast error "Executive" not Executor

  Narcissistic revenge often involves mirroring the exact behaviors they are accused of—a tactic known as projection or "tit-for-tat" retaliation—to punish, control, and reassert dominance. When a narcissist feels wronged, their ego injury transforms into intense rage, prompting them to inflict the same pain, confusion, or betrayal they feel they experienced.  *** The new lock/photo from Amazon driver of gate open, fur kiddos outside of fenced area... in busy street

  I don't anticipate any apologizes. I never anticipated any explanations. Only because those involved.... would never dare to admit their guilt. At least now, I have closure and rightfully so... settlement.  Out of court.

  No more Gilligan's Island/fire engine red hair!

  Annulment... after 1 year. You can ask the courts for an annulment based on fraud if a spouse misrepresented themselves. You must provide concrete evidence (messages, documents) proving you wouldn't have married them otherwise.

  *Podcast episode from earlier this week... *** Additional information regarding seeking citizenship in Canada... while battling chronic illness/cancer/etc

  Seeking a mother figure, not a wife... These men start resisting the marriage, because it begins to require a higher level of commitment that they do feel ready for... responsibility. However... still following through with marriage, but for "mother-role" benefits. They avoid treating their partner as a spouse, "wife" because they associate it with deep emotional exposure, that feels risky or exhausting. The "Mothering" Dynamics that these men look for in a new partner is in order for the woman to be their life-long-cook, maid/cleaner, and personal accountant... managing their affairs/bills. This, instead of marrying a life-time partner/wife/spouse.. There is no true equal partnership, when men marry for a mother-role.

  This second podcast episode really has to do with both... trying to find a home, while battling cancer. I did make that mistake. Driving by the place, I used to call... home. It still looked the same. Minus, they sadly took out the beautiful Floridan tree we planted in the front yard, years ago. Also, all the fruit trees I planted in the back of the property. Maybe... not wise to had tortured my soul, while driving by the area to pick up Snoreo's medical records. They never did place the house up for sale. I doubt they ever will, not in this lifetime, anyways. For the same circle of people/ now strangers. Yep, little old "poor me" (making fun of me years ago, for not being rich like all of you) did a HUGE thing and I'm darn PROUD for it! ❤️

  At least Blue had a super nice 3rd birthday party! Unicorn theme

  Food For Thought: Leaving elderly individuals living alone, particularly those with dementia or mobility issues, poses significant risks including falls, medical neglect, isolation, and dangerous accidents. While some seniors thrive independently, others require regular supervision and support to manage daily tasks, nutrition, medication, and mental well-being.  *** Picture of the fur kiddo I found yesterday evening at the dog park... now safe, sound at a local org/shelter... all thanks to a friendly officer and others who helped

  Snoreo... 10 years ago, back at the place we called our

  I forgot to add this photo from yesterday's podcast

It's really hard to imagine that this was taken 12 years ago

  Just because someone beats their estimated prognosis. Doesn't mean they are not suffering. Actually, it's quite the contrary!  They continue to live because they are fighting HARDER than ever before! They have something to prove. Or, in my case... someones. You pick and choose your battles in life. This, I learned the hard way. CHOOSE WISELY!.

  This has to be some of the most BIZARRE stuff... I have EVER seen

  Understanding NPD/Narcissistic Personality Disorder from a different angle.

  Another new fruity shake

  I always got tongue-tied when extremely passionate about something. That's okay, because what I am expressing... is that important to me. Firm/Fern. Selfish/Selfless. I also learned that spell-check police. They are teachers in real life, that are just as passionate about something. Their job, and enough so... that they carry it around like a coat of armor. *** How I used to be... never worked

  Narcissistic Charmer

  Ovarian Remnant Syndrome has been as-big-as a great myth to some medical professionals as is Santa Claus is to mankind!

  No one... Could ever prepare themselves for this or that. I regret not going in with a "pessimistic" frame of mind. That was my mistake. Lesson learned, the hard way. To be able to allow oneself the ability to feel. It is the greatest gift of all❣️ ❤️

  These were my beloved Grandmother's. The ones that I mentioned about in this podcast❤️

  (Correction on prior podcast) "Tammy was married and her spouse passed away. Not divorced." *** Words of wisdom, and strong advice: Hurt People. Hurt People. Heal your demons within and past traumas. You do NOT take that out on another human being. PERIOD.

  Cancer Progression When cancer progresses, it involves a multi-step accumulation of genetic mutations. This alone... allowing cells to grow uncontrollably. Evading the immune system, developing their own blood supply. Lastly, invading issues and spreading to other organs... widespread stage 4. Metastasis ends up in most cases being the primary cause of cancer mortality. ⏳️

  Confidence isn't found through cosmetic surgery. "It's found within". True confidence means bridging the gap between how you feel... comfort in your own skin. The source of confidence itself. True confidence can be achieved through small habits, mindset shifts, and actions.  Cultivating POSITIVE energy❣️ One must begin first by addressing specific insecurities, not creating perfection... because let's face it. No one is "perfect".

  When the IRS and DOJ do a thorough investigation and realize that there has been identity theft/tax fraud. Using your social security number, without your knowledge. You now must use a identifier barcode. This is your new TIN/social security number. *Consider it, a way of protecting you now... and in the future* No. None of this should have happened. This is unnecessary stress, brought on by the same people. Those who made really poor/horrible/horrific decisions over many, many years.  If lessons, haven't been learned by those involved, by now... Then they never will.

  Rule of life. Respect others, same as you would want to be respected. Gaslighting me, once again. Making me feel that your actions, behavior and decisions were of my fault. You both made the choices to use helping me... as a mere weapon of choice. Throwing the act of kindness right back in my face. Kindness should never be a business transaction. It should be an extension of care, and kindness of the heart. Walking out of my first of a few appointments this morning. With that high sense of self-awareness... self-respect that got loss by the same circumstances-circle of people for over a decade. Redemption.

  Narcs will push and push and push until you have a response. "Reactive Response" Don't blame yourself. You weren't crazy.  You were... PUSHED.

  Not only did I make Heavenly Hash... an old recipe that my Grandmother's used to make. I also made a new creation/dessert for Christmas:

  Narcissistic Gaslighting (How They Connect) *** Control & Power: Narcissists gaslight to maintain dominance and make others reliant on their version of reality.  Ego Protection: They deny wrongdoing to protect their fragile self-image and avoid accountability.  Manipulation: It's a tool to hurt, manipulate, and keep victims from leaving.    ***   Common Gaslighting Phrases (Used by Narcissists)   "You're crazy/overreacting/too sensitive"   "I never said that; you're imagining things"   "You made me do it" or "It's all your fault". *** Why Narcissists Gaslight   *Insecurity: Low self-esteem masked by grandiosity.   *Fear of Exposure: To prevent others from seeing their flaws.   *Power Dynamics: To feel superior and in charge.   *** Recognizing Narcissistic Gaslighting   *They present a different persona in public. *They deny events that clearly happened, or twist the narrative. *They make you feel constantly confused and doubt yourself. 

  Finale. Finished Finito Over. Closed.  Single-handed. The greatest Christmas gift. That I will ever receive in this lifetime.  I got my answers, unexpectedly.  And the last of the masks fell off. There was nothing further left to question or to see. But the person standing there... who I never anticipated, thought or ever imagined it to be. Free Yourself...My Journey

  For patients, it is very normal to have fluctuating energy levels, with "up and down" days, during late-stage cancer. The term is (CRF) cancer-related fatigue. This unpredictable tiredness is a common side effect of the disease. Differing from normal fatigue and impacting physical, mental and emotional well-being, so communicating these energy shifts with your healthcare team is crucial for managing them as best as possible. ***

  Plan B... for selling the house and getting into a mortgage on my own has been a tremendous amount of work! However.... patience is FINALLY paying off and everything continues to move in the right direction.

  Interesting...

  Dubai Chocolate Cake

  Finding an old treasure is literally priceless! Especially when it not only charged RIGHT UP! As well... it actually still works like a charm! As far as remembering my attempts earlier this year... I never could get back on my bike. At least the bell still works, along with wishful thinking

  2 different veterinarian groups.. BOTH were unfortunately, wrong. Never assume anything when it comes to health... unless the proper steps are performed FIRST. At least, we now have the right course of pain medication which should mean better sleep. Overall a happier fur kiddo! Just in time to hopefully be able to enjoy a few more days of all the beautiful snow! ♡Thank you to Tina and family for the cute-super-comfy awareness sweatshirt♡

  *Podcast correction-Trent is Amber's husbands name and Anna was adopted from an orphanage in Russia. *** Holidays are finally back to feeling, "normal." Creating new traditions with a few old ones.  Like... Remembering what family dinners used to be like... look like during Thanksgiving. First of many years gone by so quickly. Finally being able to cook ALL of the holiday traditions and happy for the compliments too! I always enjoyed cooking. Something I greatly missed due to all of the petty family dysfunction.  2 days of cooking and enjoying dinner with new faces from in town. And those who came in from out of town. I couldn't had asked for a better Thanksgiving!

  Taking ownership is a fundamental part of apologizing because it involves verbally acknowledging your responsibility for a mistake or hurtful action without making excuses. A sincere apology requires not only saying "I'm sorry" but also clearly stating what you did wrong and accepting personal responsibility for it. ... People see what they see... Absence. ...

  Maybe, they don't tell you about what to expect on your personal journey with cancer. All because in actuality... it is a very unique and extremely personal journey. We never could get the extreme fatigue under control. Cancer fatigue isn't like normal fatigue. There isn't a pill or quick fix. There isn't a fix at all.  You just continue to sleep more and more often. There was never a miracle pill or food to gain weight. Or keep your current weight under control. Cancer will always take center chair at the table. People will always fear death, when it's not their death. Don't expect otherwise. I wish, I knew the half of what to anticipate or expect. The longer you push a tired body. The harder it becomes to continue fighting. Sleep isn't an option anymore. It is a requirement and that is where... I have pretty much been over the past few weeks. Sleeping.  Thank you for all the birthday sentiments, gifts and even just to say, "Hi!" Halloween was a blur as I slept right through it. Only a mere security cam video with the laughter of children in the distance. I was however, able to enjoy a very nice birthday. Making up for years of what birthdays should be... memorable. God must had been listening this year. Because all I asked for was some snow.  I will catch up on the rest later... after I get some rest.

  Is this the 3rd Halloween in a row where it has been incredibly rainy, wet and blah for the kiddies? I'm still ALL FOR welcoming an Adult Trick or Treat holiday in October! Candy, candles, clothing, office supplies... you name it! Adulting in my opinion, requires some fun to still be part of one's life. The big kid's version of Halloween at it's finest! I've been working on new recipes for T, and his daughter's food truck. Possibly... also a new theme! However, for now here are a few newbie creations during my own cancer/ORS cravings. Smoreos

  Last night it was the traditional... "It's The Great Pumpkin