Getting Pretentious

I just wanted to say that I don't care what you think. I don't.  But I hope you like us. Please.  We'll do anything if you just say you like us. We'll bake a pie. We'll mow your lawn. Hell - we'll even call your mom for you! 

Instead of listening to whatever this is. Stop. Drop. And Roll. Then meditate. 

Well it's been a minute. And that's because we care. It's called self care and get use to it.  You know sometimes things happen in this world. And when they do, you need to be prepared. WD-40. That's right. You need WD-40. Not WD-39, not WD-41, but good ole fashion WD-40.  WE STILL DONT KNOW WHAT THIS PODCAST IS ABOUT.  Please and thank you, Jesus Christ. 

Hey there, sometimes you just gotta get out there and be yourself. Other times, definetly don't do that. It could be dangerous. Because sometimes you're just not good enough you know? I mean, I'm not suppose to say that, but the truth hurts sometimes. This week we sing, play music, and generally suck at both. But whatever. Please like this, you could share it if you want but you don't have to.  I love you. 

We have recently been accused of clout chasing with our episode titles. We argue that we are simply shameless oportunists who love a good easy way to get viewers.  Anyways this episode we really dive into what it means to be an artist, the finer points of freedom, what it means to be an American, and why you should think about other spirits in this realm we call modern day earth.  Also hydrogen, oxygen, and carbon are the building blocks of life. Here's the thing... those are super common in this universe. So we can assume the ingredients of life exist on other planets. Seems simple to assume we're not alone in this universe.  Fart. 

We have guitars too! This episode Jayce takes a break from music and lets Connor do the heavy lifting. It's hard work making stuff up all the time.  You should follow us on whatever we have on social media. How does one even do that? 

I would like to apologize for the behavior and attitude that was displayed this episode. It was not right nor fair that these two had air time to discuss this nonsense. I think we should boycott their show and boycott any live performances they partake in. For example, they are performing live on June 21st in Athens, Georgia at the Flicker Bar. It will be around 8pm. So make sure to boycott this. It is important that we don't show up... on June 21st, in Athens, at Flicker Bar, at 8pm. Tickets are either $5 or free. But don't buy one. 

We talk about things, stuff, and subjects on this weeks episode! We put on our thinking caps and discuss things in this world. If you want be smart listen to our podcast and you will know the things about the world and all that stuff. Be curious, learn, go to your public library and pub. You too can be a smart person like us? 

Do you need to retire? Well that's dumb. You'll never retire. That's like something you do when you 90 and also rich. How does one get rich? Hard work, perseverance, original thinking, blood of the innocent? Who knows!  Also here at Getting Pretentious we are offering to buy Twitter for one more dollar than Elon Musk is offering. That's the game Elon, you play to win and win to play. Or whatever rich people say. 

April fools isn't real and we live in a simulation. The only way out is pepto bismal. Hear me out. I am 100% not kidding. Those in charge don't want you to drink an entire bottle of pepto bismal because THEN WE WOULD KNOW THE TRUTH.  OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE REALITY YOU SHEEP!  I hope one day you see the light. Until then. Stay safe. Stay alert. Stay alive.  Also - bigfoot is real. 

It's weird that people listen to this show. I honestly don't get it. You know what's ever weirder?  People wanting TO BE ON the show! Like who with a working brain would even consider it?  Damon Sumner. That's who.  Damon has a new album coming out soon so be sure to check that out. He is a great stand up comedian, father, and podcaster. Check his stuff out. Follow him on instagram at @damonrj2 to get information about his shows and his upcoming album release. Whew... that plug was exaughsting to type.  But also laugh at him for the insane decision to come on a middling improvised musical podcast.

We go over everything Putin needs to do to make ammends to the Ukrainian people and to the world. This is a very special episode.  Kid's stay in school and dont be dictators.  Also eat your veggies. 

Here we go. It's time. Let's get ready to rumble. Wubba lubba dub dub. Did I do that? Bite my shiny metal ass.  We need a catchphrase. Those are pretty good.  I need coffee. This podcast is weird. 

Where are we and how did we get here? The universe is constantly expanding at a rate that we cannot fathom and we are but specs of dirt on window pain, hardly noticeable and barely perceived. What can we do to live rich and fufilling lives in a space where time is but a blip on a vast canvas of matter and energy?  For now, you can listen to this new episode. It'll help you drive to work, mow the lawn, or just forget about how tiny our little lives are in this massive void we call existence.  I need a coffee. 

We were live with Jude Waguespack and Matthew Maher. We had fun, had some laughs, and no one got any refunds! So sit down, relax, and pretend you were there.  We will be releasing the video soon!

Fun fact: facts are fun.  We did a whole lotta talkin', singin', discussin' and podcastin'. Remember we are LIVE this Saturday (January 15th) at 6:30pm at Dynamic El Dorado. Our friends Jude and Matt will be there along with celebrity guests!  Join for fun, stay for the loyalty. 

Dear Listener,  We are confident that the music in our podcast, which is made up on the spot, is better than The Beatles, Fleetwood Mac, Tupac, Mozart, The London Symphony Orchestra, and Cher COMBINED.  If you disagree, then you're wrong.  Sincerly,  Jayce and Connor

Hey there! We are existing along with you in this reality, if you can believe it! Believing is everything and everything is built on your ability to believe. So don't stop believing or reality will cease to exist. That's a lot of pressure for a humanoid.  I am human. 

We're back and ready for action! What does that even mean? Like who says that? "Ready for action?" What a stupid thing to say. I feel bad for leading with that. I really shouldn't have.  You know what, I am sorry. These descriptions don't do the show justice. It's really a shame that they make me write these because they don't make sense. At. All.  Okay, you know what? I can read the room. Effectively immediately I, Jayce Hill, am resigning from writing episode descriptions. I need to remove myself and bring in someone who needs the exposure and who has the hunger to do a good job.  We are now taking applications for my resume. 

Take me out to the ball game. Seriously. Please take me out to a ball game. I want to see a ball game. If you can invite me to a game, I'd go. I really would. I'm fun to hang out with and I barely need to be fed. Just one hot dog, that's it.  This episode we talk about bringing me out to a ball game where I can romp and play and have a grand old time. We also talk about other things too, and sing, and do other stuff.  Baseball. 

You are faced with an important choice. You can either listen to this podcast or you can not listen to this podcast. If you choose to listen, then you'll have a good fun time filled with banter and funny songs.  If you choose to not listen, you can do pretty much anything else. Like cook, clean, go to work, eat a bagel, eat a flan, or even shop at Hot Topic.  The choice is yours. 

Dear Haters,  Stop hating.  It's rude to hate. This week we spent an entire 30 seconds talking about Ted Lasso and Jason Sudeikis. We saw that there was a ton of downloads for that episode so we went full clout chasing madness. And now for our desperate attempt to piggy back off his success by trying to manipulate SEO...  Jason Sudeikis, Jason Sudeikis, Jason Sudeikis, Jason Sudeikis, Jason Sudeikis, Jason Sudeikis.  Thank you, Jason Sudeikis

Have you ever come home from a long day and just passed out? Because you were so tired and worn down from a long day's work? Well that how we hope you feel after powering through this so called episode on this so called podcast.  Sometimes life is just a gift and sometimes it isn't. It could go either way.  Sometimes I question my ability to write episode descriptions. 

There was a mixup in scheduling. Instead of John Bonham we accidentally booked Connor's fiance, Barb. Come listen as we figure out Connor's issues with fruit, we discuss the finer points of nuclear physics, and Jayce feeling like a third wheel.  #TedLasso #NateTheGreat

Get this... a bunch of total idiots decided to watch us record this thing live. I mean first off, I don't know why someone would even watch this when we record it in a studio. Like why? I mean keep doing it, I just mean this type of podcast really isn't my thing you know? Personally, I'm not a fan.  Anyway - thanks to all who showed up and ate, drank, and put on sunscreen with us. We love some of you.  #EastAtlantaStrut #EAVstrut 

Dude it gets super cool and super fun. Don't miss this episode. If you miss it there will be consequences. Including but not limited to: missing out on some laughter, having a slightly more stressful day, making me feel bad, making Connor feel bad and most importantly you will reduce the revenue of the show by 100%. Which was already 0. So way to go now we're poor.  Please tell your friends about this show. 

For the first time in awhile we don't have a guest. Which was kind of sad but still pretty fun. We talk about things, stuff, and subjects! We even speak about one specific thing that happened at a specific time. Time space is interesting right? Like it's an entire universe we have here that's just vast objects in motion. What is space? Are we space? What are we? What is we? What is what? Find out this episode on... Getting Pretentious! 

We actually don't talk about Novak Djokovic at all. I just hope he listens to this before he gears up to grab the coveted "Calendar Grand Slam". Good luck Novak.  In this episode, we try to solve the mystery of "who stole all of Matt Maher's shit". The crime occured in the parking lot of The Local, a bar in Atlanta, Georgia.  If anyone has information please don't go to the police. Go directly to our instagram inbox and provide us the details of the potential thief. We will perform our famous citizen's arrest on these miscreants.  Reminder: Shaunak is still banned from the podcast.  #atlanta #thiefing #lordoftherings #jasonsudeikis #mattmaher #novakdjokovic

Jude came over and recorded with us. It was fun. We sang about the fate of seagulls and made some outlandish statements regarding Conyers, Georgia. Also you should check out Jude's band Good Luck, Humans, Jayce is in that band too but he's not the guest is he?  Anyways SEO is important so comedy, music, improv music, improv comedy, Atlanta, and Jason Sudekeis. 

Guys, Matt Pechiney finally got unbanned from Getting Pretentious and sat down with us as we talk about law mowers, Connor's engagement, and a new upcoming song off Kanye's new album. My dog even chimes in. Come and enjoy a sit down with your favorite musical improviser "comedians". 

If you're Columbus, Ohio and you haven't followed us on Instagram and sent us a message then you are simply rude. We want to do an Episode focusing entirely on America's 17th best city. Thanks. 

Man oh man this got seriously crazy. First we sang some silly songs, nothing out of the ordinary there. But wham all of a sudden we start trying to make dinner plans. Barb starts with Remy Chow's a nice Asian spot. But then we couldn't get reservations. Dude it was crazy. Then we were close to getting BBQ in Decatur but BARB DIDN'T WANT BBQ.... panic started setting in. We were worried. Then Tex Mex saved the day. We ended up eating at Holy Taco.  That all happens at the end of the episode. We also talk #Olympics. #SimoneBiles #Atlanta 

Give us one good reason to not listen to this. One.  Also maybe follow us Instagram we are lonely. 

Watch Shaunak regret his decision to join us this week on the podcast. He shares his street wisdom and joined us in some silly rants and songs. 

Um... that's it. I don't know. Happy 4th of July if you celebrate that kind of thing. Message to our Columbus, Ohio... we love you and have a special announcement for you in the pod. Listen for a chance to win a free lunch maybe. 

CONNOR AND JAYCE REVEAL THE TRUTH! ALL OF THE TRUTHS! 

Hello everyone we regret to inform you that we did a new episode. Now you have to listen to it. Please like us on Instagram. 

Oh man - guys it's getting to the point where someone needs to step in and tell us we need to stop doing this. But even if you do, we wont stop. 

Our musical skills are way better for no reason. I actually forgot what we talked about on this one. Shoot, I'm too lazy to listen to it so why don't you just do that for us? Thanks! 

It's been a month. Connor won't stop talking about his Laughing Skull residency and Jayce isn't jealous at all. Theres a fun song about Jewel at one point. 

Hello, thank you for reading this description. We do our best to ensure our customers are satisified with each episode. If you have any questions or comments regarding the content in this episode please feel free to DM us on our Instagram and let us know of any ways to improve. 

Another episode. Enjoy it. Embrace it. Feel it. We busted out the keyboard a few more times on this one. It's fun, it's exciting, it's Getting Pretentious. 

Alright we took a break but we're back! I forgot how fun it is writing these descriptions. It really is, I missed it a bunch. Like who reads these? Did you want a list of topics we covered or something?  I mean look, you know the drill. If you are wanting to hear a bunch about Evil Knievel go read his Wikipedia page. That's what we pretty much did on the show. Come for the subject stay for the weird conversation that goes nowhere and says nothing.  Please don't listen to this podcast while operating heavy machinery or operating on a human being. Thanks. 

We spend probably 2% of the show discussing the show Chernobyl. But hey - you already knew that. If you don't like that... you can find the cure to ADHD and be our next guest. 

Okay so it's been established now that Connor and Jayce clearly have ADD or ADHD... we didn't bother to look it up, just know it's one of those. Anyhow, what was I going on about? Uh oh yea - we both saw Spirited Away and thought it would be fun to talk about it. We came away with different opinions. It was cool though, and plenty fun. Oh - we talked so much we had to split this episode into two parts. So stay tuned for that. Hi mom. 

This episode actually sounds pretty good because of the guest. Allen Thomas sits down with us to discuss his music as an independent musician in Atlanta. We talk about various artists and a bunch of other stuff. It's a good episode and I'm not great at writing these descriptions so just press play. 

Jayce talks about Daft Punk, Connor listens and silently judges. Then, because we apparently don't like to expand our audience, we pick fights with most European countries, hate on Taylor Swift (again), and wax poetic about the finer points of Jimmy Buffet. So grab a margarita, listen to some Daft Punk, and join us for this week's... GETTING PRETENTIOUS. 

Well well well. You're still listening. That's great! Hopefully you're comfortable, sitting there with your edgy band t-shirt, drinking a good cup of coffee (or lets be honest a Monster Energy Drink).  Listen.... we wanted to do Johnny Depp but talking about the Caribbean got us onto a whole thing about geography fun facts. Then we didn't feel like doing the episode about him so we did Hugh Jackman. Yadda yadda yadda... Peter Dinklage.  Stay tuned to find out how Peter Dink is mentally cucking Connor. 

Connor and Jayce briefly talk about Quentin Tarantino but then do something unexpected and unprecedented. Listen, and hear us out, a five part drama film event directed by Quentin Tarantino outlining the old and new testament...  Wait I think SNL did a sketch about that with Jesus Unchained or something. Crap, I just realized that. Anyways ours is better. Listen and eat flan. 

Jayce and Connor discuss Tim Burton and all the stuff he did. We really should call this episode Time Burton and our deep analysis on the 1971 film WIlly Wonka. Connor at one point even complains about a chocolate river. Who does that.... can you guys tell I write this? Sorry. -Jayce

Jayce and Connor talk James Mercer and his work with The Shins. They start talking about how great their intro song is and that somehow morphs into talking about the Shins, shit talk Los Angeles/New York, and hate hate hate on Taylor Swift (at least a little bit). They get pretentious as hell in this one.