In Your Right Mind with Monique Rhodes

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This podcast is a series of discussions about working with your mind as you use The 10 Minute Mind mindfulness course.

One People Records


    • Sep 7, 2026 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekdays NEW EPISODES
    • 10m AVG DURATION
    • 1,689 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from In Your Right Mind with Monique Rhodes

    How Dolly Parton Made People Feel Bigger, Not Smaller

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 7, 2026 12:31


    You know the people who walk into a room and everyone in it sits up a little straighter, and somewhere along the way you decided you're just not one of them. This episode takes that decision apart. Dolly Parton spent sixty years making people feel bigger rather than smaller, and when you look closely at how she actually did it, it isn't a personality at all. It's a handful of small refusals, and every one of them is available to you on an ordinary Tuesday. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Your Mother Has Never Said I Love You. Try This

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 4, 2026 10:16


    There is a woman who has never once said "I love you." Not to her daughter, not to her granddaughter.  If you have someone like that, you've almost certainly stopped expecting the words, and you've probably landed on one of two conclusions. Either they don't feel it, or you're the reason. Neither is usually true. People who can't say it are rarely withholding it. They just never had the words made ordinary or safe in their own mouth, and you cannot shame somebody into handing over something they've never held.  Her granddaughter, who is in her twenties, got her to say it in one phone call without ever asking for it. I take apart exactly what she did and in what order, and I'm honest about the two situations where this is the wrong thing to try. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Arguing With Someone In Your Head? How To Stop

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 2, 2026 8:50


    You've had the same argument with your sister forty times and never once out loud.  This usually gets filed under overthinking, and you've probably concluded you're anxious, or dramatic, or that you can't let things go. You're none of those. You're doing something extremely reasonable and completely impossible, and nobody has ever named it for you.  You're looking for the sentence that guarantees how the other person will react. That they won't be angry. That they'll finally understand. And there is no such sentence, which is exactly why you can rehearse the same four lines for two years and never get to the end of it.  I explain what to do instead, including the one line that replaces the entire rehearsal. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Awake at 3am Every Night? Deep Breathing Won't Fix It

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 31, 2026 9:48


    You wake at three in the morning and your mind is already mid-sentence. Not a crisis. A conversation.  You've probably decided this is insomnia, or that something is wrong with your sleep, or that you're bad at switching off. None of those are what's happening. You surfaced the way everyone surfaces several times a night. The difference is that something was waiting there for you, and it had been waiting all day.  I explain why what's waiting is almost always a conversation with a specific person, why slowing your breathing slides straight off it, and the one thing that stops it happening at all. That last one takes place in daylight, nowhere near your bed. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Why Nothing You've Tried For Anxiety Has Worked Yet

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 28, 2026 9:13


    You've tried the apps. The breathing. Probably the medication. And you're still here. "I've tried everything and nothing works" usually gets treated as a mood to be talked out of. It isn't. It's an accurate report about a very specific kind of failure, and the moment you can name that failure, what you do next changes completely. I explain what everything you've tried has in common, why nobody has been working on the thing that actually matters, and the three things to do instead. Including the reason people quit at week five, when it was probably starting to work. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    I Teach Meditation. Here's When It Makes Anxiety Worse

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 26, 2026 7:16


    There are moments when meditation will make your anxiety worse, and almost nobody in my field will say that out loud. If you've ever sat down to meditate while genuinely anxious and got up feeling worse than when you started, you didn't fail at it and you're not bad at this. You were using the right tool at the wrong moment, and nobody told you there was a difference. I explain exactly why it backfires when you're already struggling, why the same practice is lovely on a calm day, and the rule I use to decide when to sit down and when to do something else entirely. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Why Your Mind Speeds Up The Second You Lie Down

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 24, 2026 10:15


    Your mind was fine all day. Then you lie down, the light goes off, and it starts. If that's your eleven o'clock, this isn't a sleep problem and it isn't a discipline problem. There's a reason it begins at that exact moment and not twenty minutes earlier, and once you understand it, the whole thing stops feeling like something going wrong with you. I explain what your mind is actually doing when it won't settle, why the racing is one question repeated rather than chaos, and three things to do about it. The first one is the real fix and it happens nowhere near bedtime. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Self-Care Isn't Selfish. Here's What It Actually Is.

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 21, 2026 12:00


    You'd drive across a city at ten at night for someone you love, without a second's deliberation. Now try asking yourself for twenty minutes and watch how long that takes. This episode takes apart the belief that looking after yourself is something you have to earn, and offers a different definition entirely. Not a treat. Not an indulgence. Something much more useful, and much harder to argue with. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Why You Hide How Burnt Out You Actually Are

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 19, 2026 12:26


    You've gotten so good at looking fine that people don't just believe you any more. They've stopped checking. This episode is about the exhausting second job of performing okay, why hiding your burnout doesn't protect anyone, and what the research says happens to your body and your relationships while you hold that face still. Plus one small experiment involving one person, one sentence, and one degree more truth. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    What To Do When Therapy Isn't An Option

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 17, 2026 11:23


    You finally looked up therapists. Then you saw the price, did the maths against everyone else's needs, and quietly closed the laptop. This episode is about that moment, and what it actually costs you to keep filing yourself under later. Not a substitute for therapy, and not a consolation prize. A real, grounded answer to the question of what you do while you're waiting for something you can't afford yet. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    What To Do When You're Too Anxious To Meditate

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 14, 2026 10:14


    You sit down to meditate and you can't do it. Your mind won't slow, and sometimes you feel worse afterwards than you did before, so you quietly decide meditation isn't for you. It is. What nobody told you is that a practice built for a settled mind can't be started at an eight out of ten, and there's a simple ninety second step that comes first. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    My Life Is Good and I Still Can't Feel Happy

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 12, 2026 12:19


    Your life looks fine on paper. You can list everything you're lucky to have, usually while lying awake at three in the morning. And you still feel flat, and then you feel ashamed of feeling flat. This one is about why gratitude has never once moved that feeling, what your nervous system has been doing with the dial all these years, and how joy actually comes back, which is nothing like what you've been led to expect. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Why Nothing You've Tried Has Worked

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2026 13:40


    If you've ever said "I've tried everything and nothing works," this one is for you. There's a reason the supplements, the apps, the journals and the early nights all helped for a fortnight and then stopped, and it has nothing to do with you being one of the ones it doesn't work for. I'll show you what every single thing on your list had in common, and the one ninety second practice that goes in completely the opposite direction. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    The Fear of Finally Getting What You Want

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 7, 2026 6:51


    This episode is about the strange anxiety that arrives not when life is hard, but when it starts to get genuinely good. If you've ever found yourself bracing, pulling back, or creating problems right when things were finally going well — this is for you. It's not self-sabotage. It's a nervous system that learned to stay ready. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    When Did I Stop Knowing What I Want?

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 5, 2026 7:56


    This episode is for anyone who has noticed a strange blankness where their own desires used to be — not depression, not burnout, just a quiet difficulty accessing what you actually want. We're talking about how it happens, why it makes complete sense, and how to find your way back to yourself. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Why Kindness to Everyone Else Comes Easily — But Not to Yourself

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 3, 2026 9:01


    You'd never speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself. This episode is about that gap — the double standard most of us carry without examining it — and what the research actually shows about what self-compassion does and doesn't do to your drive, your resilience, and your ability to change. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    The Slow Grief of a Life That Didn't Go as Planned

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 31, 2026 6:51


    This episode is for anyone quietly mourning a version of their life that didn't happen — the relationship, the path, the self they thought they'd be by now. We're naming a grief that rarely gets acknowledged, and exploring what it actually takes to step into the life you have. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    The Anger You Were Never Allowed to Have

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2026 7:04


    This one goes somewhere most wellness conversations won't. If you grew up learning that anger wasn't safe — and you've been carrying it as anxiety, exhaustion, or a vague sense of resentment ever since — this episode names what happened and what it might take to finally let that feeling exist. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    The Invisible Load of Always Being the Responsible One

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2026 7:44


    If you're the person everyone else leans on — the one who tracks, anticipates, and holds it all together — this episode is for you. We're talking about the invisible cognitive weight of always being the responsible one, why it quietly erodes your sense of self, and what it actually takes to put something down. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Why You Can't Stop Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 24, 2026 11:08


    When things are good, do you find yourself bracing for what's coming? That low hum of vigilance underneath the happiness — scanning, waiting, not quite letting yourself land in the good — is one of the quietest and most exhausting forms of anxiety there is. In this episode, Monique names it, traces it to its roots, and offers a way to start actually inhabiting your own life instead of standing guard outside of it. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Why Everyone Else Seems To Have It Figured Out

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 22, 2026 10:50


    That quiet voice that says everyone else has it sorted and you're the only one winging it? It has a name — and it's not the truth about you. In this episode, Monique unpacks the impostor phenomenon, why it affects the most capable people the hardest, and what's actually underneath the fear of being found out. This one will make you feel less alone and more honest with yourself all at once.   Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    What A Panic Attack Actually Is (And How To Get Through One)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 20, 2026 11:41


    If you've ever been in the middle of a panic attack and didn't know what was happening to your body, this episode is for you. Monique breaks down what a panic attack actually is — not as a sign that something is wrong with you, but as your nervous system doing exactly what it was designed to do — and walks you through what genuinely helps in the moment. This is the episode you'll want to send to someone who's scared and doesn't know where to start.   Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    What A Panic Attack Actually Is (And How To Get Through One)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 20, 2026 10:44


    If you've ever been in the middle of a panic attack and didn't know what was happening to your body, this episode is for you. Monique breaks down what a panic attack actually is — not as a sign that something is wrong with you, but as your nervous system doing exactly what it was designed to do — and walks you through what genuinely helps in the moment. This is the episode you'll want to send to someone who's scared and doesn't know where to start.   Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Why You Feel Everything More Than Everyone Else

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 17, 2026 9:33


    If you've spent your life being told you're too sensitive, this episode is for you. Monique explores the research behind high sensitivity — why roughly one in five people are wired to feel and process the world more deeply — and why the problem was never the sensitivity itself. It was the shame we learned to wrap around it. This isn't about fixing how you feel. It's about finally understanding it. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Why You Feel Everything More Than Everyone Else

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 17, 2026 8:46


    If you've spent your life being told you're too sensitive, this episode is for you. Monique explores the research behind high sensitivity — why roughly one in five people are wired to feel and process the world more deeply — and why the problem was never the sensitivity itself. It was the shame we learned to wrap around it. This isn't about fixing how you feel. It's about finally understanding it. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Why The People You Love Most Trigger You The Most

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 15, 2026 11:21


    You love them. You'd do anything for them. So why does an hour with certain family members leave you more drained than a twelve-hour work day? In this episode, Monique explains the real reason the people closest to us have the most power to undo us — and it has nothing to do with weakness or immaturity. If you've ever driven home from a family gathering wondering what just happened to you, this one is for you. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Why The People You Love Most Trigger You The Most

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 15, 2026 10:32


    You love them. You'd do anything for them. So why does an hour with certain family members leave you more drained than a twelve-hour work day? In this episode, Monique explains the real reason the people closest to us have the most power to undo us — and it has nothing to do with weakness or immaturity. If you've ever driven home from a family gathering wondering what just happened to you, this one is for you. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    The Real Reason You Can't Forgive Yourself

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2026 8:32


    There's something you did — maybe years ago, maybe more recently — and no matter how much time passes, you can't seem to put it down. In this episode, Monique unpacks why self-forgiveness is so much harder than we're told it should be, and what's really keeping you locked in self-punishment. This isn't about excusing what happened. It's about finally understanding the difference between guilt that teaches you something and shame that just keeps you stuck. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    The Lie of "I Should Be Over This By Now"

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 10, 2026 10:05


    It's been years, and something can still catch you off guard and knock the wind out of you. This episode is for the part of you that's been quietly ashamed of still feeling it — grief, heartbreak, an old loss — long after you think you're supposed to be done. There is no timeline. There never was. And this episode explains why. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    High-Functioning Anxiety — You Look Fine. You're Not.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 8, 2026 8:57


    On the outside, you have it together. The deadlines are met, the people are looked after, the difficult situations are handled with grace. On the inside, you haven't stopped for years. This episode is for the woman who looks fine — and is exhausted by looking fine. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Why Your Nervous System Is Stuck In Survival Mode

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 6, 2026 9:36


    You've tried the breathing. You've tried the apps. And yet that low-grade hum of tension in your body never really goes away. This episode isn't about another technique — it's about the actual reason your nervous system stays on high alert, and the one shift that changes everything underneath. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    The Real Reason You're So Hard On Yourself

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2026 11:43


    You already know you're too hard on yourself. You've known it for years. But knowing it hasn't made it stop — because the real reason behind that relentless inner critic isn't what most people think. This episode goes underneath the self-criticism to where it actually comes from, and what it would take to finally change your relationship with the voice that never lets you rest. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Intrusive Thoughts? Here's What They Actually Mean

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 1, 2026 12:22


    A dark or disturbing thought arrived out of nowhere and now you can't stop wondering what it says about you. This episode is the conversation most people never get to have: what intrusive thoughts actually are, why they happen to the most conscientious people, and why the thought itself is not the problem. You are not your worst thought — and this episode will help you actually believe that. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Stop Caring What People Think

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 29, 2026 12:24


    You've told yourself a hundred times to stop caring what people think. You know, logically, that you can't control what anyone thinks of you. And yet — the worry is still there, shaping decisions, stealing sleep, quietly running the show. This episode is about why it's so hard to actually stop, what your brain is really trying to protect you from, and the shift that finally loosens its grip. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    The Comfort of Staying Stuck

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 26, 2026 10:02


    You say you want things to change. And you mean it. So why does part of you keep pulling the brakes just when things start to move? This episode names the thing most people won't say out loud — that staying stuck has real payoffs — and offers a kinder, more honest way to understand your own resistance before you try to fight through it.   Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    The Stories That Run Your Life

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 24, 2026 10:08


    There's a version of you that got decided a long time ago — and it's been running the show ever since. This episode looks at the gap between what's actually true about you and the story you've been telling yourself, and why that gap is where everything either opens up or quietly closes down. If you've ever felt like you keep bumping into the same ceiling, this one is for you.   Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Smaller Than You Think

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 22, 2026 9:41


    You've tried to change before. You went big, you started strong, and then life happened and the whole thing fell apart — again. This episode is about why that pattern keeps repeating, and why the answer is almost embarrassingly small. Monique explores the science behind why dramatic gestures don't stick, and what it actually takes to build something that lasts.   Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Stop Trying To Be Understood

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 19, 2026 14:40


    Most of us spend a huge amount of our lives trying to make people understand us. The long explanation. The third re-phrase. The 3am perfect sentence. The screenshot we send to a friend. The argument we have with our partner for the fifth time.   We think we're looking for resolution. We're actually looking for something else. And in this episode, Monique names it — and offers a way to put it down that will quietly change your relationships and your nervous system at the same time.   In this episode: — The hidden hunger underneath the constant need to be understood — Why even when people finally agree, the relief only lasts an hour — Why some people in your life are simply not built to see what you see — and why that doesn't mean the relationship is broken — A small, surprisingly powerful practice for witnessing yourself before you go hunting for one outside   The 10 Minute Mind®   Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    The Anger Underneath Your Calm

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 17, 2026 13:29


    There are two kinds of calm. Only one of them is actually calm.   If you have always been the steady one, the soft-voiced one, the one everyone goes to in a crisis, this episode might land differently than you expect. Because some of us are calm because we have worked through what we feel — and some of us are calm because we have spent decades sitting on it.   The difference matters. And it shows up, eventually, in the body.   In this episode: — The two kinds of calm and how to tell them apart — Why suppressed anger costs you your boundaries, your desire, and your aliveness — What the body keeps on your behalf when you don't — A small five-minute experiment to find out what you've been carrying — What to do if what comes up is bigger than you expected   The 10 Minute Mind®   Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    The One Word Missing From Your Gratitude Practice

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 15, 2026 13:13


    If you've been writing a gratitude list every morning and nothing in your life feels any different, this episode is for you.   Most gratitude practice is performance dressed up as practice. A list of words that never made it into the body. And it's why people can do it for years and feel exactly the same.   There is one word missing. One. Once you put it in, the whole practice changes — and it becomes the foundation of a happiness baseline that actually holds.   In this episode: — Why a gratitude list on its own doesn't move anything — The one word that turns gratitude from performance into practice — How to drop out of the head and into the felt experience — What spiritual bypass actually looks like — A one-thing-a-day practice you can start today   The 10 Minute Mind®   Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    You're Not Bored. You're Terrified Of Being Alone With Yourself.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 12, 2026 7:52


    We keep blaming our phones. We keep blaming dopamine. I want to tell you something true that nobody seems willing to say out loud.   Your phone is not the problem. Your phone is the solution to a much bigger problem nobody wants to name. And until you name it, no amount of screen time settings, no amount of digital detoxing, is going to do a single thing.   In this episode I unpack what the phone is actually protecting you from, the first time I had to look at it in myself on a silent retreat, and the small daily practice that changes everything.   The 10 Minute Mind®   Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    Your Healing Journey Is The Problem

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 10, 2026 8:20


    If you have been on a healing journey for years and you are still not okay, I do not think you need more healing. I think the healing is the problem.   This episode is for anyone who has read the books, done the courses, sat with the therapists, and still wakes up wondering what is wrong with them.   I unpack why the project of fixing yourself is part of what keeps you stuck, the sentence that finally broke me out of it, and one small experiment to try this week.   You are not a project. You are a person.   Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…

    You're Not Kind. You're Scared.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 8, 2026 7:20


    I'm going to say the thing nobody in your life will say to you. The reason you keep saying yes — the reason you give and give and end up empty — is not because you are a kind person. It is because you are frightened. And until you can see that clearly, nothing changes. In this episode I unpack the difference between kindness and the survival reflex that looks like kindness from the outside, why most people-pleasing advice doesn't work, and the small, hard question to ask yourself the next time you say yes. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…  Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.

    When You Want Today To Be Different

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 5, 2026 15:53


    This is a different kind of episode. No list. No three takeaways. Just one conversation about something I think we don't talk about enough — the particular pain of wanting today to be different than it is. The mood you woke up in. The argument that's still sitting in your chest. The day that already feels heavy when nothing has even really happened yet. We're going to sit with this together, gently, and I'm going to offer something I learned the hard way. Take your time with this one. It's not a quick listen. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…  Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.

    The Hidden Cost of Being the Family's Peacemaker

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 3, 2026 13:26


    If you grew up being the one who kept everyone calm, you didn't choose it. It was assigned to you. And the role you played as a child often becomes the role you play everywhere — at work, in relationships, in friendships. Today I want to talk about what it actually costs to be the family peacemaker. Why your nervous system probably still scans every room. Why you can't relax when other people are tense. Why "I'm fine, don't worry about me" comes out of your mouth before you've even checked whether it's true. And what it might look like to gently put the job down. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…  Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.

    Why "Set Boundaries" Is the Worst Advice You've Ever Been Given

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 1, 2026 16:20


    You've been told to set boundaries. You've tried setting boundaries. And somehow you're still exhausted, still over-explaining, still feeling like you have to defend the smallest "no." So today I want to push back on the most-recommended advice in the wellness world and tell you what I actually think happens when you keep being told that the answer to other people's behaviour is just to draw a clearer line. There's a deeper conversation underneath this one, and we're going to have it. By the end of this episode I want you to walk away with a different way of thinking about the energy you keep handing over without realising. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…  Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.

    5 Quiet Signs You're Burned Out (And You Don't Even Know It)

    Play Episode Listen Later May 29, 2026 10:35


    Most people don't know they're burned out. They just think this is who they have become. In this episode, Monique walks through five quiet signs of burnout that almost nobody talks about. Not the obvious ones. Not "you're tired" and "you're working too hard." The ones you can have for two or three years without ever realising you have them. You'll hear why losing your anticipation for small things is one of the very earliest signals, why going quiet on the group chats isn't antisocial — it's a system in power-saving mode — and the specific kind of evening tiredness that gets misread as personality. Number four is the one almost everybody recognises but nobody connects to burnout. If you have started to wonder whether you used to be more fun and you just got older — this episode is the one for you. Burnout is not a personality. It is a state. Which means it can shift. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…  Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.

    The 9 Things Calm People Do Differently

    Play Episode Listen Later May 27, 2026 17:58


    Monique has spent fifteen years around genuinely calm people — and she means the real ones, not the ones who post about it. They all do nine very specific things that the rest of us don't. This episode walks through all nine. Not personality traits. Not temperament. Habits. Which means they're learnable. Number six is the one almost no one believes is actually a calmness skill. Number eight is the one Monique personally got most wrong, for the longest time. You'll hear what calm people do with small decisions, why they refuse to run a tight schedule, why they don't argue back at their own thoughts, and the very specific thing they do with other people's moods that the rest of us get backwards. If you have spent the last year feeling slightly behind, slightly buzzing, slightly never-quite-arrived — this episode is for you. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…  Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.

    7 Things You Stop Apologising For After 50

    Play Episode Listen Later May 25, 2026 12:34


    There is a kind of permission that arrives — sometimes in your fifties, sometimes later, sometimes never — and it quietly changes everything about how you live the next thirty years. In this episode, Monique walks through seven specific things the people she knows who have this permission have stopped apologising for. Not the obvious ones. The ones almost nobody talks about. You'll hear the story of a woman who came back from ten days at her sister's house, exhausted, and realised she hadn't said the word "no" once in the whole visit. The cake at the lunch table that closed a small loop in someone's head forever. And the moment in a workshop in Auckland when a room full of people went quiet at the same question. Number five is the one most people quietly admit they didn't realise they were even allowed to do. This is an episode for anyone who is starting to notice they have spent a lot of years explaining themselves — and is ready to take some of that energy back. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…  Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.

    Why You Feel So Tired When You Haven't Done Anything

    Play Episode Listen Later May 22, 2026 9:54


    There is a kind of tired that cannot be explained by anything you did. Not the tired you feel after hard work or a bad night's sleep — those make sense. You can trace them. You can point to a reason. This episode is about the other tired. The tired that arrives in the late afternoon when you have barely done anything. The tired that finds you sitting on the edge of the bed at nine in the morning, already wrung out. The tired you cannot explain to anybody else and have started to wonder if something is wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you. The tiredness has a name. And once you know the name, you can start to put some of it down. Monique tells the story of a woman who sits in her driveway for ten minutes every evening before walking into her own house — not because anything is wrong at home, but because she needs ten minutes before becoming the person her family needs her to be. And a moment in an Auckland workshop where she asked forty women when the last time was they had been alone with their own thoughts, and the room went silent. This is an episode about emotional labour — the invisible, unpaid, constant work of regulating everybody else's feelings. And one small, specific practice to begin getting fifteen minutes of your own life back each day. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…  Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.

    I Teach Happiness at 70 Colleges. Here's What's Wrong.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2026 11:34


    I have been teaching happiness at over seventy universities for fifteen years. And I have watched the wellness industry get almost everything wrong. Not a little wrong. Wrong at the level of the question. In this episode, I'm telling you three things the happiness industry is selling you that are actually making you worse. Not because the people selling them are bad — most mean well. But because the entire premise is built on a misunderstanding about how humans actually work. Happiness isn't a feeling — it's a baseline. Forced positivity isn't wellness — it's shame with a ribbon on it. And the thing being sold as self-care is usually comfort, which is a different thing entirely. If you've been doing all the things and still feel flat and behind — this one's for you. Ready to break the cycle for good? If this episode resonated with you, there's something you need to try next…  Take the Happiness Quiz at https://iintendtobehappy.com/ — it's a quick (and eye-opening) way to discover what's actually impacting your consistency, focus, and overall wellbeing. Most people are shocked by their results — and even more surprised by what it reveals about the patterns holding them back. Take the quiz here → https://iintendtobehappy.com/ Let's take this work deeper, together.

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