It’s not Normal, It’s Toxic-rid your life of toxic people

In episode #243 I reminded you that YOU are the one that decides who in your life is healthy for your wellbeing and who may not be so healthy for you. In this episode I take it one more step, let's explore why it is confusing and why your mind becomes clouded when looking at your relationships. Toxic relationships are complex and because of that you seek validation as you begin recognizing unhealthy behaviors. Part of the reason you are seeking such validation is because the traits of toxic personalities become "normal" to you as you spend each day within the cycle. Let's jsut take one of the many traits that I teach today and expand on it a bit. Self-centeredness is a trait of many toxic personalities, and the impact that can have on those around them can lead to low self-worth and compromised emotional health. I encourages you to reflect on your behavior & patterns too as they may be adaptive to avoid conflict or confrontation within the relationship you are seeking validation for. If you are wanting to know more, you are in luck, I cover all the toxic traits and how you may have adapted to them within my "Freedom...Me!" Program. Application for this program is on my website found below.https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/

In this episode, I reflect on my personal journey towards peace and self-acceptance after years of navigating the long term effects of my toxic relationships. I share my experiences of anxiety and stress related to vacations and how my perspective has shifted over time. Through self-awareness and understanding of my past, I now know the importance of prioritizing myself and recognizing the value of my personal growth. My overall mission has always been to educate others on the inner workings of toxic relationships but now, as I have personally learned, it is also about understanding ourselves and how the toxic relationships may have changed us.

Do Not Skip Over this Short Episode! As you find yourself listening to my podcasts, knowing I've been where you are, be reminded of the one thing we miss in seeking validation of our situations. This is the most important thing I will teach. It is the most important thing for you to learn, grasp, accept, and act upon if you are seeking inner peace.

In this conversation, I explore the complexities of emotional wiring and how it affects relationships, particularly with toxic personalities. The importance of understanding different personality types to navigate your future decisions effectively is imperative. Your relationship will remain confusing causing self doubt until you know them as well as you know yourself.Announcing the "You've Got To Be Kidding Me - Validation Session is now open to all who are seeking to find answers to why "they can't just act normal". The validation session, aims to provide clarity and insight for individuals struggling in their relationships, helping them to recognize their worth and make informed decisions about their future.More information about the Validation Session can be found on my Website: https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/Use VIP Listener's Code at the time of check out for $50 off the 3 hour Validation session. INNITVAL

As I celebrate yet another year of life & reflect on my growth journey, I particularly want to celebrate the understanding and managing my own emotions. In the context of toxic relationships having and owning your own feelings is very difficult to do. The impact of emotional control by others was very significant in my life, even long after the toxic relationship had ended. The full understanding of emotional abuse, and the importance of taking control of one's feelings is true freedom. I cannot emphasize enough the significance of naming your feelings/emotions, setting boundaries, and recognizing your right to emotional freedom. The conversation serves as a challenge and guide for listeners to reclaim their emotional independence and navigate their feelings authentically.Visit me at: https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/See the options for us to work together.!

You have been there, you probably still are. When you get a message you "feel" the need to respond no matter what the message says. You have learned that by responding quickly, in a way they will get what they want you have been able to keep the peace better than if you delay your response or do not respond. Here are a few tips on knowing if a message even needs a response, & how to respond if it does. For more information about becoming an exclusive client with guidance through the process of changing the way you interact with them visit my website. https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/freedom-me-exclusive-private-coaching

A great explanation from one of my exclusive clients.

Welcome to yet another “New Year” I remember when I was in an unhealthy marriage each time the "New Year" came around and 'Old Year" passed my world became smaller & my outlook became more and more hopeless All I could see was my life. Ug! It was nothing to reflect on. All the wasted years just scrolling by and me not having a say or remembering any of it. Now I knew I should have been grateful, I should have been able to embrace my "all my blessings". I was just way too deep in it to really know why, I was frustrated because I did not, in the past or presently do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING to change my situation, and frankly I was too exhausted to think about the mountain I would need to climb in order to make a change.  MY VIEW OF THE "F...ING NEW YEAR" HAS CHANGED SIGNIFICANTLY! If you or someone you know is experiencing emotional, verbal, or mental abuse.... please share my podcast. You may change someone's life. https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/

No one wakes up one morning and thinks... "That's it, I need a coach!" Rather you wake up and immediately start solving the problems that are already surfacing and its not even 8:00am. I needed someone to understand and meet me for daily discussions on the problems of the day so I could come away with a solution and a skill that I could use the next time it happened. I would have NEVER thought about hiring a coach, mentor, or guide. Well even though I am a coach, I give you just what I mentioned above, answers and strategies for you to handle today's crisis, and tomorrow's crisis and understand why things are happening that you yourself do not understand. I did not realize that so many knew about this podcast but did not know about my work. Here is a little insight to what I can offer, and aside from the name, it is NOT coaching, it is listening, solving, and working with you and your unique situation. I did not choose this mission this mission chose me so "selling" does not come easy. One asked me one day, "Why are you not telling EVERYONE what you do? You have paid dearly for the gift you have so get out there and let people know you have it!" Your goals are not to life a life of peace (well maybe ultimately) your goal is to get through today. That is what I can do for you, leaving you with the ability and skills to do it too. It's about baby steps and stacking them up. It's about one fear at a time and doing it together. If you are interested in knowing more about Freedom...Me! my exclusive client program, use this link. https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/freedom-me-exclusive-private-coaching

In my search to find a gratitude practice that fit me and my personality I ran across something I did not realize had been happening. In the years I spent in a toxic relationship I was always positive, people told me so, but was I? Turns out I was using "toxic positivity" to trick myself into being grateful for very very negative things. The article that was most helpful to me in my research was written by Ashley Laderer. HOW TO MAKE A GRATITUDE PRACTICE THAT DOES NOT FEEL LIKE TOXIC POSITIVITY - Stop Looking At The Bright Side. (find article here: https://www.wondermind.com/article/gratitude-meaning/ Reflecting on this, and knowing how I was altered by survival mode I have been able to see how I was tricking myself and thus altered my reality of how unhealthy the relationship truly was for me. I encourage a healthy and healing gratitude practice for everyone.

The Holidays are not always something to look forward to. Let's discuss the complexities of dealing with toxic personalities during the holiday season. These individuals often seek control, power over others as well as attention, and admiration from others, particularly during a time when the focus is on joy and connection. Here are a few insights into the behaviors you can more than likely expect to see from toxic individuals this holiday season. It is important to understand these dynamics in order to navigate the upcoming weeks. You do not have to take it upon yourself to fix, change or cancel your plans nor your joy in an attempt to appease their inconsistent, unpredictable behaviors.

A big WELCOME BACK, Dr. Heidi reflects on her personal journey both past and present of growth and transformation. Finding she was still at times feeling the long term effects of her past relationship, she plans on moving her business forward emphasizing the importance of authenticity and vulnerability. She shares her surprize realization concerning emotional abuse and the long-term effects it has had on her life. It has opened her eyes and enhanced her commitment to helping others navigate similar challenges. Dr. Heidi introduces her new persona, the Transparent Dr. Heidi, who prioritizes connection and self-care over perfection. She discusses her recent certification in neurosomatic intelligence and how it will enhance her ability to support her clients. She thanks you for your patience as yet another portion of her journey was unfolding.

In this tidbit Dr Heidi shares briefly her personal journey of healing through her training in Neurosomatic Intelligence, which has transformed her understanding of how the long term effects of emotional and psychological abuse has impacted her personal life. Dr. Heidi also announces the closure of her Facebook support group, 'Strength Within,' explaining the reasons behind this decision and emphasizing her commitment to guiding individuals towards healing and freedom.

Dr. Heidi explains how each toxic person is not the same in the level of severity. In the more extreme toxic relationships threats will be different than with a less extreme personality. Focusing on the nature of threats used by toxic individuals to manipulate and control others you must take into account that some will indeed turn into action. She shares personal experiences and insights on how fear and guilt can trap individuals in unhealthy dynamics, emphasizing the importance of recognizing these patterns and seeking support even when fearful. The conversation encourages listeners to evaluate their relationships and understand that they deserve to feel safe and healthy.

A single puzzle piece does not make any sense if it is all by itself.  But when you put that puzzle piece with other pieces things begin to fit together and start making a little more sense it is not until you have all the pieces connected that the bigger picture finally emerges. One behavior by a toxic person may not make sense to you, but when you put that behavior with others, things begin to fit together and start making a little more sense. It is my hope to help you connect all of these pieces  so the bigger picture of what you are actually dealing with in your relationships begins to emerge. Toxic tidbits are an addition to my well known podcast Its not normal, it's toxic. Toxic tidbits may be my thoughts Questions from clients or listeners.  Quotes that I find helpful Any little thing that crosses my path that I believe may be helpful for you on your path. For additional information on how Dr Heidi supports in freeing yourself from the toxic relationships in your life, go to : https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/ You will find all the services she provides to help you move forward no matter where you are right now.

A single puzzle piece does not make any sense if it is all by itself.  But when you put that puzzle piece with other pieces things begin to fit together and start making a little more sense it is not until you have all the pieces connected that the bigger picture finally emerges. One behavior by a toxic person may not make sense to you, but when you put that behavior with others, things begin to fit together and start making a little more sense. It is my hope to help you connect all of these pieces  so the bigger picture of what you are actually dealing with in your relationships begins to emerge. Toxic tidbits are an addition to my well known podcast Its not normal, it's toxic. Toxic tidbits may be my thoughts Questions from clients or listeners.  Quotes that I find helpful Any little thing that crosses my path that I believe may be helpful for you on your path. For additional information on how Dr Heidi supports in freeing yourself from the toxic relationships in your life, go to : https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/ You will find all the services she provides to help you move forward no matter where you are right now.

A single puzzle piece does not make any sense if it is all by itself.  But when you put that puzzle piece with other pieces things begin to fit together and start making a little more sense it is not until you have all the pieces connected that the bigger picture finally emerges. One behavior by a toxic person may not make sense to you, but when you put that behavior with others, things begin to fit together and start making a little more sense. It is my hope to help you connect all of these pieces  so the bigger picture of what you are actually dealing with in your relationships begins to emerge. Toxic tidbits are an addition to my well known podcast Its not normal, it's toxic. Toxic tidbits may be my thoughts Questions from clients or listeners.  Quotes that I find helpful Any little thing that crosses my path that I believe may be helpful for you on your path. For additional information on how Dr Heidi supports in freeing yourself from the toxic relationships in your life, go to: https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/ You will find all the services she provides to help you move forward no matter where you are right now.

In this episode, Dr. Heidi discusses the feeling of being stuck and why we get stuck in various areas of our lives. She explores different examples of being stuck, such as in relationships, fitness, career, and parenting. Dr. Heidi emphasizes the importance of self-motivation and being the force that gets us unstuck. She shares personal experiences of feeling stuck and how she overcame it. Dr. Heidi encourages listeners to recognize that they have the power to change their situations and to prioritize their own well-being. For more on Dr Heidi and her options for guidance visit her website: https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/

A single puzzle piece does not make any sense if it is all by itself.  But when you put that puzzle piece with other pieces things begin to fit together and start making a little more sense it is not until you have all the pieces connected that the bigger picture finally emerges. One behavior by a toxic person may not make sense to you, but when you put that behavior with others, things begin to fit together and start making a little more sense. It is my hope to help you connect all of these pieces  so the bigger picture of what you are actually dealing with in your relationships begins to emerge. Toxic tidbits are an addition to my well known podcast Its not normal, it's toxic. Toxic tidbits may be my thoughts Questions from clients or listeners.  Quotes that I find helpful Any little thing that crosses my path that I believe may be helpful for you on your path. For additional information on how Dr Heidi supports in freeing yourself from the toxic relationships in your life, go to : https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/ You will find all the services she provides to help you move forward no matter where you are right now.

A single puzzle piece does not make any sense if it is all by itself.  But when you put that puzzle piece with other pieces things begin to fit together and start making a little more sense it is not until you have all the pieces connected that the bigger picture finally emerges. One behavior by a toxic person may not make sense to you, but when you put that behavior with others, things begin to fit together and start making a little more sense. It is my hope to help you connect all of these pieces  so the bigger picture of what you are actually dealing with in your relationships begins to emerge. Toxic tidbits are an addition to my well known podcast Its not normal, it's toxic. Toxic tidbits may be my thoughts Questions from clients or listeners.  Quotes that I find helpful Any little thing that crosses my path that I believe may be helpful for you on your path. For additional information on how Dr Heidi supports in freeing yourself from the toxic relationships in your life, go to : https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/ You will find all the services she provides to help you move forward no matter where you are right now.

Are you one, like myself that makes or has made decisions in your life based on how you were "feeling" at the time? Those who have been blessed with the emotionally wired personality will struggle with this because our emotions are so strong. The thing with emotions is that they change, and they change often depending on how the dynamics around us change. Learning to see logic through your feelings can make the difference when making decisions that affect your future. I had to learn the hard way that logic is a must to consider your future when making decisions. Follow the link below for more information on the work that I do helping people, like yourself, understand the relationship confusion a little better. https://drheiditoxicrelationshipsupportgroups.start.page

A single puzzle piece does not make any sense if it is all by itself.  But when you put that puzzle piece  with other pieces  things begin to fit together  And start making a little more sense  it is not until you have all the pieces connected that the bigger picture finally emerges. One behavior by a toxic person may not make sense to you But when you put that behavior with others Things begin to fit together and start making a little more sense. It is my hope to help you connect all of these pieces    so the bigger picture of what you are actually  dealing with in your relationships begins to emerge. Toxic tidbits are an addition to my well known podcast Its not normal, it's toxic. Toxic tidbits may be my thoughts Questions from clients or listeners.  Quotes that I find helpful Any little thing that crosses my path that I believe may be helpful for you on your path. Here is you latest Toxic Tidbit:

In this conversation, Dr. Heidi interviews John about his toxic marriage. They discuss the beginning of the relationship, the red flags he missed, and the progression of the relationship. John shares how his ex-wife's bipolar disorder and jealousy affected their relationship and let to it becoming unhealthy for him to stay in. He also talks about feeling isolated and the impact it had on him and his identity. The conversation highlights the importance of recognizing unhealthy relationships and seeking support. In this conversation, the guest shares how the toxic person used tactics like verbally attacking those he loved to drive a wedge and faking a break-in to gain attention and control. . The guest emphasized how self-trust, setting boundaries, and seeking support from loved ones helped his overcome this chapter of his life to move on with lessons learned.

Hope, Healing, & Freedom for those whose lives have been affected by toxic relationships is the mission of my work. Our guest today understands my work, maybe better than most. She has also worked with many who have some out of toxic relationships. She see too that oftentimes they were drawn to the same type of relationship over and over again. Bela helped them change that and find wonderful partners that made them happy. Bela Gandhi is a nationally acclaimed dating & relationship expert. Her business, The Smart Dating Academy offers the best tips to start dating smarter to help you find real and lasting love. Bela is a sought out correspondent and works with all major networks including Steve Harvey, NBC, ABC, FOX, CNN, JET, Essence, Forbes, WGN, and more… She is THE dating expert for Good Morning America and The Today Show and has regular appearances on both shows. Today she tells us about her work and how she began in the relationship realm. She also expands on how she guides her clients though the dating process, no matter their background so they find what they are truly looking for. Get to know her more by listening to her podcast. https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/podcast

How did I end up here? Good question because when I was where you are, I was asking the exact same thing. I knew the decision to be in that relationship was not a good one. I knew it from the very beginning.  How did I know? I could feel it. I knew something felt off but I could not put my finger on it. Listen to todays episode and follow the pattern described. Does this sound like you and your situation. If you are looking to take the TPA that was mentioned in the episode you can do that here on my website. https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/ If you are looking for answers as to why you are finding yourself in something that is not comfortable for you or you are suspecting may even be toxic for you, do not feel ashamed to ask. I didn't ask and it took me a long time to get where I am today. However, I am here today to be the person that I needed when I was trying to understand how I got there; for you. To see all my offered services to educate, to empower, to support you click here: https://drheiditoxicrelationshipsupportgroups.start.page

Why are these relationships so confusing? Why is it so hard to make a decision? Why do I find myself questioning if I have tried hard enough? Do you find that you are asking yourself these same questions?  Well, in truth there are a number of reasons as to why these relationships are so confusing, why we leave and go back, and why we question our decisions. In this episode I cover 10 reason why toxic relationships are so confusing. Take a listen and see if you can relate to the same thing within your relationship. Dr Heidi is dedicated to helping you understand the situation you are in so that some of the confusion can be cleared. To find out more about the services offered follow this link: https://drheiditoxicrelationshipsupportgroups.start.page Or go to https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/ and take the Toxicity Profile Analysis (TPA) and see if your relationship may indeed be unhealthy for you.

Always follow your intuition they say. Ok, what if we don't know how to recognize our intuition amongst the convoluted words of others. Your body has a built in defense system but overtime it seems to stop working for our good. What are some signs that you could be receiving from you defense system headquarters? Well, you may feel tense, have circular thoughts, a pit in your stomach, or the sense you should avoid something, some place, or some person All of these signs (different for different people) may indeed be your bodies natural defense system attempting to keep you safe. It would be easier to see if it came with a flashing light or an electric shock and then an arrow pointing to the right choice, but it doesn't. Your intuition always comes in neutral, and does not tell you what to do. WELL UNFORTUNATELY NEITHER THE FLASHING LIGHTS NOR THE ELECTRIC SHOCK HAPPENED IN MY SITUATION AND TADA... I MISSED IT. Trusting your intuition is something that is learned. There may be mistakes, wrong decision, and opposite directions before you learn how to follow the safe route it is showing you. Looking for guided support in your healing from unhealthy relationship? The services offered by Dr Heidi can be found in the link below. She has walked through the fire and now helps others do the same. https://drheiditoxicrelationshipsupportgroups.start.page

The Priority…Me!!! Retreat Is back, but this time available to any and all without travel or time off work. It Is scheduled Monday, May 13 through Friday, May 17, 2024.  By using your PODCAST PATRON DISCOUNT CODE: ILISTEN15 you will receive 15% off when register. (Code excludes the hardship payment option) For more information and registration https://drheiditoxicrelationshipsupportgroups.start.page Guest speakers include 3 of my latest podcast guest.. can you guess who? After years of doing the up and down, back and forth, taking care of myself, giving it up for others, then back to taking care of myself, I have learned and am thankful to tell you that what I discovered was this…. I ACTUALLY HAVE WAY MORE CONTROL THAN I THOUGHT IT DID.  When things were not going well, I would look to others to support me through it, to fix it for me, and possibly take the blame for it. However, in the end it has always been a result of me slacking in the area of self care and prioritizing myself.  The other thing that I learned the hard way was that is was MY responsibility no one else's. (That part hurt for a while, I was tired, I didn't want to carry it anymore…..but when you have no other option than to rely on yourself …. You will figure out a way to do it.)  3 DAYS PUTTING MY ATTENTION BACK ON MYSELF AND wallah! 

Professional home organizer Cass Henry tells of her recent experience with decluttering her life by “throwing out” a relationship that was taking up too much space. She is an inspiration to all she encounters. Though just recently free, she is encouraging others to follow her lead and let go of the things that are cluttering up your life. Find Cass at transformedspaces.ca If you are wanting more details on the mentioned Priority…Me!!! Online retreat you can find those details along with all the other services offered by Coaching with Dr Heidi here. https://drheiditoxicrelationshipsupportgroups.start.page

After spending her first 40 years in the cultish Evangelical world, picking up many layers of cPTSD from family, religion and marriage. Charlotte is rebuilding her new life as a single mom of five kids (who has stopped homeschooling by the way.... tough decision) Single moms usually work, but in 2020 with complications from long covid she developed brain injuries along with some nervous system damage. She lost the entry level jobs she attempted to work and was unable to keep up with her long-time usual pace. This is a glimpse of her journey. Through an unhealthy marriage (arranged by the church) the leaving her evangelical upbringing (with its magical, mystical promises), She has learned God doesn't pay your loans for you or stop abuse even if you make a covenant with Him. There is work to be done on your own part to break free of false hopes and lies in order to find your true self. Today Charlotte carries her message through her very own podcast "Crooked Little Girl" Take a listen: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/crooked-little-girl/id1697643420 Charlotte has been a long time listener of this podcast, It's Not Normal It's Toxic, and has been a member of my online support group for many years. (https://www.facebook.com/groups/drheidistrength Her mission is to speak on the spiritual abuse she endured and warn others of falsities within religion where the teachings are... well abusive.

Sabrina Magnan is a Food Freedom & intuitive Eating Coach who helps chronic dieters heal their relationship with food & their bodies and develop lasting health-promoting habits so that they can find true authentic health, free from the obsession and guilt. Sabrina has a website as well as a podcast if you are looking for more information. https://sabrinamagnan.com/ https://sabrinamagnan.com/podcast

In this episode I will speak with 3 people that I have gotten to know very well over the last few years, they are all members of Strength Within. "Strength Within" is the support group that I run on facebook for those seeking understanding in your situation. The 3 guest today will be answering questions about how their lives would be different today if they had not gone through what they went through. These are some strong, determined, and now happy people who once did not feels as if they were. I hope this episode is as encouraging for you as it was for me while recording. Here is the link to the "Strength Within" facebook group if you are searching for a community that understands. https://www.facebook.com/groups/drheidistrength Looking for a deep dive? All services provided can be seen here: https://drheiditoxicrelationshipsupportgroups.start.page

 I know that you are going through times of adversity in your life, the high demands of your relationship and just plain keeping life in balance often seems like more than you can handle. Today you will be listening to me speak with a guest who has also had her share of adversities. Fiji McAlpine, today's guest is a yoga virtuoso who turned personal adversity into a global movement. After a debilitating back injury at 21, Fiji discovered the transformative power of yoga. Not just a remedy for her physical pain, yoga became her lifeline out of anorexia as well as an unhealthy marriage. This was an eye opening episode for me to record as she calls out many things that I KNOW I need to be inplimenting into my journey of healing and self discovery. She even calls me out and gives me a challenge, join me in the 14 day Yoga challenge that can be found on her website here: https://www.doyogawithme.com/content/14-day-yoga-challenge Without changing something our adversities grow, the more they pile up the more impossible making a change feels. Where body and mind connect is where Fiji has found her "Possible" Looking for a community to support you through learning, healing, and growing after a toxic relationship? Check out the We're INNIT Together Growth & Support Community here: https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/we-are-innit-together-community

The “Just Enough” Relationship is a devistation that almost no one ever sees coming. The just enough relationship is one that gives you “just enough” to keep you invested in the relationship, but not enough for you to feel safe, accepted, or appreciated.We tend to lower our standards as we accept less and less from those who are giving “just enough”. Real effort is not given unless the relationship is threatened.One is giving the least amount they can get away with giving and the other gives until they are desperately drained. You can become used to the way the “just enough” relationship is and accept not being valued or settle much less than you deserve.Relationships do not have to have huge flaws in order for you to justify leaving or changing one that is not right for you. How long have you stayed in the "just enough" relationship, at the "just enough" job, in the "just enough" friendship because you grew used to the poor treatment.

We all know that divorce is hard. It is something that affects everyone who is in the lives of those who are separating. With so much going on many do not realize the impact these changes have on the children that are caught in the middle. Those going through an amicable divorce can usually navigate things well so the children adapt with everyone else, but for those who are going through a high conflict divorce the storyline is much different. As a family law attorney and GAL for the state of Pennsylvania Elle Barr, has dedicated her life to making sure when there are kids involved she keeps her focus on them. Listen how she got into this work and how it has become her passion to protect those who are not able to protect themselves as "mom & dad" try to settle their differences. Learn more about Elle Barr here: https://ellebarr.com/ Be sure to follow her on social media: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elle-barr-252b14104 insta: @elle.barr.galGroups & programs currently available to you through Coaching with Dr Heidi are listed here: https://drheiditoxicrelationshipsupportgroups.start.page

How many time have you gone back and forth between, "I should leave this relationship" and "maybe it's not that bad"? More than you care to remember I am sure. Making this decision is not easy, I know this because if it was easy, you would have already made it. If you are anything like me when I was in your position, then you are trying to make this difficult decision with only half of the information. You are the only one who can make this decision, but we don't realize it. Instead what we do, is allow their mood to make that decision. If they are in a good mood, we choose to stay, and when they are in a bad mood or treating us badly we will choose to leave. The problem with that is, it is never consistent, it is always unpredictable. So we swing back and for from staying and leaving almost on a daily basis. If you are one that can relate then this podcast is for you and my newest program is for you too. "On the Fence!" is a 3 month program that will give you the information you need to make the decision that is very best for you, and, you will make that decision with confidence. You can not decide anything with only half of the information. THE "ON THE FENCE!" 3 MONTH PROGRAM IS STARTING: Feb 5, 2024 This is an intense program lead and taught by Dr Heidi. IF YOU COULD FIND THE ANSWER TO THIS CONTINUALLY WEIGHING QUESTION, HOW WOULD IT CHANGE YOUR LIFE. All the information you will need to start moving forward. Its time, and it's your turn! FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THE GROUP AND ALL OF DR HEIDI'S SERVICES CLICK HERE: https://drheiditoxicrelationshipsupportgroups.start.page

Dr. Debi Silber is the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert. Over the last 30+ years, she has supported thousands of people to heal physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.She is fully dedicated to this mission because she believes that betrayal is one of the most painful experiences one could ever have. She knows because she has been there. It was her own betrayals, first from her family and then from her husband, that shattered her heart, trust, and life as she knew it. Betrayal can be something you carry around for a very long time without even realizing it. There is more than just one stage of betrayal, which one are you? Post betrayal syndrome will carry over into all aspects of your health and your life. Dr Debi walks with others through each stage giving the support that she knows her clients will need in order to stay focused and value the changes that the act of betrayal brought into their lives. Learn more about Dr. Debi and her work by visiting her website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/ Follow Dr Debi on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/InspireEmpowerTransform or instagram https://www.instagram.com/debisilber/ Looking for a support group? Looking for answers? Are you confused about your relationship? Don't know where to begin? I am here to help. Visit my website for some tips on how and where to begin your journey to freedom from the toxic relationships is your life. https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/work-with-me

2023 is coming to an end. I can not believe another year has come and gone. This year was a years of... UGG.. learning, digging, admitting, understanding, & growth for me. I had an indescribable year. If there is an emotion out there... I had it! If there was a feeling...I felt it! If there was a doubt...I questioned it! If there was trust... I tested it! And if there was change...I resisted it! 2023 wore me slick out, but in the end, it was incredible. I NEEDED IT! Dr Heidi Instructions for life that you will hear in this episode were born out of this year of transformation. They will not all resonate with you, but that is to be expected.... They are "MY" instructions for life. I hope you enjoy and I hope you take the time to reflect and write your own. Here is to another beautiful year.! Thank you for your continued support and trust in me! - Dr Heidi

Are you going through yet another holiday season, that does not all resemble the one you once had pictured in your mind. When you have relationships in your life that are not healthy for you, where controlling behaviors are present, or where that has been betrayal the supposed "Peace on Earth" doesn't seem so peaceful. Rather than spreading your "Joy to the World" you would rather "Deck someone's Halls". How do we navigate this time of year while attempting to balance all our normal responsibilities plus the added holiday demands while the toxic people in our lives go off the rails to ruin it all for us. We know they do this because your focus is not all on them like it normally is. This caused discomfort to their security and thus causes new, changed, or amplified behavior. Needing some tips to get you through the next couple weeks? Listen as our "betrayal expert" Dr Debi Silber shares with us how to juggle the painful devastation of betrayal while still longing to enjoy your holidays. Dr. Debi Silber is the founder the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) institute. Learn more about Dr. Debi and her work by visiting her website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/ Looking for a support group? Looking for answers? Are you confused about your relationship? Don't know where to begin? I am here to help. Visit my website for some tips on how and where to begin your journey to freedom from the toxic relationships is your life. https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/work-with-me

Today I was able to speak with fellow podcast hosts to get their perspective on the toxic relationship when there are narcissistic behaviors present. Kerry McAvoy, Ph.D, a mental health clinician, & Tara Blair Ball, a certified relationship coach, together are the hosts of the podcast "Breaking free from Narcissistic Abuse". The long term effects for those involved in toxic relationship are devastating. Those around you will not understand which will lead you to feel isolated to protect yourself. Kerry & Tara discuss how the brain changes when you are in relationships requiring survival from day to day. Why we see things differently than many and how to overcome the challenges that face us post toxic relationship. Some misconceptions about the toxic relationship are debunked giving some insight on how to heal yourself. You can find them here on their website or on social media sites @breakingfreefromnarcabuse. If you are seeking support for your situation check out the communities available at Coaching with Dr Heidi. We're INNIT Together Support Community Listen now!

Masking our personality is something that we all struggle with. It is easy to want to cover up who we really are around people who may not like us, around those who make us feel unsafe, or around those who we are threatened by. We change who we are in certain environments so our vulnerable ares and weaknesses do not show. Why would we do this? To gain approval/acceptance of others - To avoid conflict - To lessen fear - To gain love - To make others happy. I am not pointing fingers at anyone because I myself had perfected the art of mask wearing when I found myself facing the shame of being in an emotionally abusive relationship for many years. I did not realize the damage that had been done to my emotional health until years later. In order to hide my past I began to wear masks to that I would not have to explain to others anything about the shame I felt. I am not sure that anyone knew the true Heidi for many many years. What masks do you wear? Want to know where to go next? What is the best thing to do first? Click here and see how you are feeling right now and lets get started on throwing your masks out the window. https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/work-with-me

Why is it that with the toxic relationship comes the art of minimization? To minimize is to take significant things, either good or bad, and lessen the importance or degree of them. In a nutshell minimizing makes the good things seem not so good and the bad seem not so bad. When we learn to minimize in a unhealthy relationship it allows us to avoid dealing with our emotions and our feelings. Do you minimize the things you should be celebrating? Are you minimizing abusive behavior? Learning how the emotionally abusive relationship can change so much in us just out of our need to survive. If you want more information about my services go to:https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/ If you are looking for a group for guidance & support check out the We're INNIT Together Community here: https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/we-are-innit-together-community

Whether we like it or not transformations show up in our lives, sometimes at the most inconvenient times. We can fight them, but that will only make them last longer. The transformations in your life are there for a reason. We were not meant to stay the same person, we were meant to grow, to learn, to be our true self. With each transformation, even the painful ones, you will see that they are working for your good and for a place of higher peace in your life. To learn more about my mission and my work in the toxic relationship realm go to: https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/

Unhealthy relationships change us, rewire us, cause us to adapt in order to survive. Being in a longstanding toxic relationship changed my view of myself, my life, and the things that I deserved. I forgot that I was important too. I put all my energy in to making the relationship “feel” safe and in the end, I lost myself which doesn't feel safe at all. We, as individuals have certain rights. You had them given to you the minute you were born, yet they seem to disappear when surviving each day becomes your focus. Listen to this episode to hear the things you are entitled to just for being a person. Most were lost for me, ignored, or forgotten during my time in an unhealthy relationship. This episode will remind you of those rights and possibly open your eyes to the reality that you have been unable to execute them. If you are looking for a list of the rights that were read in this episode you can either search “personal bill of rights” or follow this link: https://www.etsu.edu/students/counseling/documents/stressgps/personalbillofrights.pdf As always if you are looking for further support https://coachingwithdrheidi.com will get you to my website where you can schedule a session or join the membership support community where you will find the support to make the changes you did not think you could make.

I direct people daily to specific podcast episodes they need to hear according to the situation they are in right now. Last week I featured the top episode for those seeking validation. This week I would like to suggest some to those who have made the choice for themselves to leave a relationship but who now may be struggling with self doubt or guilt. If you are feeling alone and uncomfortable now when you thought you were ready… it's ok, it is normal to feel this way for a while. The following episodes may help explain why. If you feel you need more support you can always head over to my website and schedule a session with me I would be happy to support where I can. https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/consult-page You are not alone on this journey!

I talk to a lot of people in a week, and I find myself referring them to the podcast episodes that I feel resonate with what they are needing right NOW. For those who are seeking validation that it is not all your fault, that you are not crazy, that you have tried your best; for those who have just begun there journey of learning what an unhealthy relationship can look like, these are for you. The top 4 most recommended (by me) It's Not Normal It's Toxic episodes for those seeking validation. If you are just beginning your search for what is not normal I challenge you to head over to my website https://coachingwithdrheidi.com and take the Toxicity Profile Analysis. It is a great tool for those whom toxic behaviors have come to be normal. Also while you are these take a look at the online support community where guidance and acceptance go hand in hand.

Get a sneak peek into a live session in the We're INNIT Together Membership Support Community. See how it works, see if you like it. I is an example of how the live sessions go. How we interact, and what you can expect when joining the online membership support group. If you think it would be a good fit for you register here and we will see you there! https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/we-are-innit-together-community?sfw=pass1683508208

Rejection is a part of life, we all have times when rejection of a job, a date, or a social circle for example that may set us back a bit but with time there is often growth from the experience. Living in an environment where rejection  happens frequently the feeling of unacceptance can overtake ones confidence and self worth.Being rejected cause a reaction to hang on tighter to whatever is rejecting us. The worry of losing someone or something is more powerful than accepting the fact that you are being rejected.The toxic personality will use rejection as a manipulation to get those in their lives to hang on tighter. This draws attention back onto them and they feel more in control and secure in the relationship. Check out the Support community here: https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/we-are-innit-together-community

We all need the support of others whether we are in a toxic relationship, removing ourselves from a toxic relationship, or healing from a toxic relationship. This episode is for you to forward to those who are wanting to support you but do not understand the dynamics of a toxic relationship. Educating those who love and support you will equip them to stand stronger beside you.

We soon figure out that the person from the beginning is not the person we now see in the relationship, that was because of love bombing. However, many are surprised at the behavior of thank you toxic personality when you are trying to exit. It seems strange, confusing, and sometimes hard to believe. I am here to tell you it is believable because it is normal for this to happen during the detachment from a toxic relationship. Listen again to what hoovering is, how it is used, and how to keep your focus while it is happening.