King of Kanto

We have some bonus recordings lying around so let er rip. Everything was recorded before December 2021.Stay tuned, new stuff coming. 

Episode 56Live in studio the man himself: Tokyo Tuesday.Doxxed but not outfoxed Jay tells the in depth story of Tokyo Tuesday just like he had many times before except this time he shares his knowledge and experience in a much more enjoyable format.  Also, he forgot the hat.

Let's learn the days of the week!Finally the episode we have always wanted to do!On Machida Monday it's time to review our big fat lovable friend! Vito Gesualdi, previous guest and now on such shows as Infowars, Tucker Carlson and Reuters. Poor Vito and his buddy Dick ran afoul of some “peaceful” protesters. You know this story, it's everywhere.Saitama Saturday! We chat about Daniel Lord no longer hiding in his closet. Hang around for an impersonation that Hanzai Podcast is too old to understand.Fukushima Friday! We discuss how KoK got doxxed. Not at one point of the discussion, but strewn throughout the episode so you will be misquoting us unless you listen to the entire thing. Have fun!Taco Thursday. Put on your best silver watch! It's KoK time.

We review Gaijin Goomba's review of The Last Samurai Cam returns, gets drunk and then gives KoK the patented KoK treatment of misrepresenting our opinions so that he can call us cringe idiotsWe discuss Zach and Sushi potato again before getting stuck into the most GG video ever to goomba across the face of YouTube. This was such a seminal work that we had to drop everything else we had planned to cover it, to the extent that Nick couldn't even fit in a Conbini Boys segment.Along the way we include the seven deadly jvloggers, comparisons of Saitama's adopted son to Tolstoy, and we also included the third installment of Debbie and the Drew in lieu of Nick's culinary tips

Zach Phoenyx rises from the ashes to set the record straight

This week the KoK boys have a lot to talk about.  Greg is on the Whiskey and Nick starts by yet again trying to psyche Jay out of messing up the intro.  Greg tries to convince everyone he doesn't use English at work anymore, which was believable considering he could barely string a sentence together.  We discuss the fallout from the Rob_in_Japan interview followed up by our main topic: Zach Phoenyx.Zach falls in to a category of common YouTuber visual tropes but also manages to cross the best (worst?) of them.  The pubic hair beard of Gaijin Goomba, the Rayban and backwards cap of Totally Drew, the unacknowledged trust fund of Chris Okano, and the laziness of TkyoSam.We address some of the criticism of our previous episode, and despite the whiskey, Greg coherently and diligently points out our defense of Miss S. Potato. Taking inspiration from another JVlogger with experience being accused of inappropriate sexual opinions, we set this defense to some jazz piano to lighten the mood.Jay stumbles through the Simon and Martina drama.  Our new favorite Canadians with shared cat custody had a whirlwind romance and whirlwind divorce with their fans threatening each creator separately for a myriad of reasons.  Martina, like a normal and well adjusted person, decided to move back to Japan!  Don't worry, Martina, your love of weeb shit will turn you into a glorious daughter of Nihon with no issues whatsoever like so many before you.We end with a hilarious recounting of the New York Times recognized and official podcast of Japan (by Americans): The conbini boys!  What wonderful food did they discover? by "they" I mean the one who still lives here.  The other one just laughs like he microdoses mushrooms.We end the show by questioning our life decisions. Again.

The man, the myth, the legend Rob_In_Japan joins Jay in studio to talk about Asian women, Japan, Thai escorts, sex work, and becoming a professional YouTuber.

On this exciting installment we start with the old and end with the new.First we avoid spittle from Totally Drew and Jay goes on a holy pilgrimage.  Then the boys get in touch with their feminine side by reminiscing about Sailor Moon as GG (Formely known as Gaijin Goomba) talks about all the girly things he likes.  It will convince you to make your step-dad a non-alcoholic Raspberry Ginger.Afterwards we move on to exciting new titillating territory: eThots!We begin with ImJasmine the totally not self-absorbed "For reals guys, I'm quitting streaming!  I mean it this time" and currently active streamer sitting on the floor of her kitchen explaining why she hates YouTube.  Immediately following we address the controversy that is SushiPotato.Does cleavage grant you immunity from drug dealers in Kabukicho? Does deep throating bananas determine your destiny? Do hot tub streams fulfill your dreams?  Find out now!

This episodes starts off with some of the best banter in the post award era but it's too bad you can't hear it because Jay forgot to hit record for the first 5 minutes.After a swift and flawless recovery we get right back on track with the Jaded in Japan gals.  The ladies share some laughs before we disappoint them with yet another Japan based (but not in Japan) PUA.Like the good lover Nick thinks himself to be, we slowly ease the ladies into a mild introduction of Rob In Japan!  We start with his casual racism, yellow fever, and then move on to his sexual encounters.  Is Rob a gentleman? If by gentleman you mean describe how he corners women and gives graphic details of his conquests than yes! Rob is the quintessential gentleman.Thankfully the ladies are the forgiving type and offer their unique feminine perspective.  In the end the KoK boys learn an important lesson.  Bonus points if you can tell us what it is in the comments because honestly we forgot.

This week we celebrate our 50th episode in characteristic fashion by not doing what we said we would do in the last episode Instead, Cam introduces Japan's latest meme which we dubbed as a ‘naijin smash' Greg introduces 2 more as-yet-unreported jvloggers, and finally manages to get angered by one of them Nick reaffirms his love for everything Conbini boys, as if needed reaffirming Then after the ever present segment of ‘Goomba watch' we round off the episode with an interesting bit of analysis from one of our YouTube followers 

In this episode we introduce some of the most flaky segues yetWe speak about the BritishWe speak about people who need to find something to punchWe speak about monkey jobsWe speak about gaijin bananasWe speak about conspicuous sexual entitiesWe speak about sex offendersWe speak about Golden nuggets from the pastWe speak about delicious tasty treatsWe speak about that titleWe speak about about a lack of understanding of STDsAnd if that wasn't enough, Cam's back 

Episode 47Greg continues to disappoint everyone with his audio set-up We share more garbage from the glorious gaffe giving gift called gaijin goomba. Seriously, this might be his most spurious theory to date. We delve into a few more strange dating customs and fails from the weird and not-so-wonderful world of JVloggersMiceala gets overly excited about her new (although not really new now, but still going strong apparently) boyfriendDaniel Lord gets overly excited about Black Mirror, but fails to reflect properly on his own life We introduce the man that makes the average Asian ex-pat seem like a Mormon in comparisonWe use a juvenile joke to pay homage to one of the rare interesting jvlog videos And finally another new introduction ‘Japanese Journey' passes on a tidbit to get the MRA listeners wound up. Oh, and stay to the end because there's a clip of Nick pissing. Only on a pre-recorded stream.

The KoK boys celebrate their 1 year anniversary.  Guests call in.  It's great.

Episode 45This weeks theme is "The Jet Program" which is the correct way to spell it. We start by stealing Greg's valium and talking about trust funders.  Then we get Nick's Catholic Priest joke out of the way early.  Too bad he had several more.Speaking of Nick, he was too delicious a manlet not to go unnoticed by Captain Planet.  A surprise to no one.  Also a surprise to no one: Canadian.We finally get around to the Andy-san and his high quality totally not depressing content.  Check out his latest Viggity-vlog yourself.  Or don't.  Yeah, actually don't.Jay gets elevator envy and places a body part out for Harambe.  He then regales the boys about seeing the ACTUAL bucket window.  Good times.Do you like multiple bags inside bags?  THEN COME TO GLORIOUS NIHON. Or don't. Yeah, actually don't.We finally get around to speaking about a man named Drew from Seytemma.  Have you heard of him?  I guess he knows us.  Well, not Jay.Nick goes undercover in various Facebook groups to get the cringiest written words this side of the Pacific.  He sprinkles stories throughout the episode usually right next to one of his remaining Catholic Priest jokes.Then we really get into it: The Jet Program.  Wasting taxpayer money so children in the countryside can see a living breathing white person for the first and probably only time in their life.  Is it a good thing?  Perhaps when you weigh it against all the memes and anime dreams we get to read about online.If you've had an experience as a Jet please leave them in the comments below. Or don't. Yeah, actually don't.

Episode 44Our subject is "Work Life Balance" this week.  Why is it in quotes you ask?  Because it doesn't exist and you can't see my hand gesture that implies sarcasm over the term.We start with a new segment called Introducing Greg to Jvloggers by introducing Greg to Daniel Lord.  Daniel regales the KoK boys with tales from the city of England, quitting the eikaiwa, quitting the conbini, tindering a lonely old lady, and never working again.We move on to the good stuff and begin discussing how if any member of your family dies you're immediately demoted or fired.  Trust us, this comes from an authority on the subject.  Next we discuss slave wages and unionization.  Subjects we don't know anything about but somehow have a better grasp on than our clipee. Clip-ee? ClipEE? The person we pull out of context, okay? Jeez.From high on the mountain tops a beam of light illuminates the KoK studio and offers the only sane advice we'd hear all night.Immediately following, the Anime Man makes Jay's butt pucker.  It had to happen at some point.  Hilarity ensues during the binge of cringe.  Oh! Why can't we quit you?!We hastily end the show so our boss's don't think we left work before them and even have a light hearted discussion on train line cost analysis before the sweet spectre of koroshi sneaks up behind us.

Episode 43Today's Theme: MatrimonyJay tells the boys how to gauge a successful marriage then we talk about our unrequited love of the conbini boys.  We always knew we'd play second fiddle to Famichiki.Speaking of the conbini, have you had to interact with the self-pay registers?  We give our hot takes on this abomination.For B segment friend of the show and continual disappointment Daniel Lord tells how he can't be bothered to spend $300 and take a trip to Tokyo in order to engage in a life long romantic, economic, and spiritual commitment.Kelly Morita stops by to not only be an Ikigai but also a hypocrite.Lastly the boys encounter lesbianism in the most curious place.Strap in, sit tight, and if you loved us you'd put a KoK ring on it.

Episode 42Cam rides off into the sunset.  He needs a special saddle for both of his assholes.  Nick and Jay introduce Greg.  We retire an important part of the sound board.The Discord is angry about the PP Nick interview.  Apparently no one likes frat boys that go to college parties 15 years too late.  Who'd have thought?  PP Nick's wife for one.Natsu Basho has come to an end and the only thing we learned is that The Jvlog gained 30 subscribers.  The gap remains unchanged between he and Drew's subscriber count.Jay continues on the Oriental Trail with somewhat better results.  Then as we slip into B segment Jay continues on the Carnivore Trail with much better results.Our friend Nobita tells us to lose weight before arriving while Gaijin Goomba encourages weebs to get their fat bellies poked by teenage girls all over the most racist music he could have possible chosen.We all learn to love our bodies......with alcohol.

MicroKoK 08PP Nick joins us in studio to talk about life, love, swimming, boxing, TkyoSam, Marc, girls, boys, share houses, working out, Fukuoka, Shibuya, and posting physique. 

Episode 41Segment ASpecial guest Jay is in studio. The man who was the motion capture actor behind Resident Evil VIII’s The Duke. (Jay cut this joke from the episode, so I am putting it in here).The CIA’s “woke” ads and The Fruit Machine, and TkyoSam and The Incredible Machine. Speaking of nostalgic video games The Oregon Trail has been re-released, your bucket on a pulley has dysentery.The KoK boys are seething like a freshly made FamiChiki that The Combini Boys have a Japan Times article about them. We don’t know which party that speaks worse about.Segment BParis Syndrome, but in Japan! Votes to the left.Traveling to a country you have never been to, but love can have horrendous consequences. It’s like matching with someone on Tinder and then discovering they don’t have a pet tiger.Daniel Lord from Hiding in my Room discusses all of his frustrations with Japan. Mainly pervert related.Cam Vs. Dev Vs. Japan. Cam and Japan win.Nick responds to the Pizza Toast Challenge. Remember that? Was the wait worth it? Does Nick turn this whole think into some hilarious joke? “No” to all three.“Why Japan sucks” YouTube yields wondrous result. Like, seriously, the literally best results eva.Is Sign-Chan the hero we deserve? She seems to have her own Extended Universe. Either that or multiple Japanese people hate Jvloggers as much as us.Since we are talking about Paris, Cam learns something about the Eiffel Tower. Listen to the end to hear what it is.

Episode 40Big time comedian, nerd and movie buff, Vito is in studio. A man who has vaped the closest thing to real-life hentai.Talking about pyramid schemes, video game development, being locked out of Japan because of Corona, being a collector/hoarder, Star Wars, Evangelion, Soaplands, Asian fetishes, Rihanna, spooky Halloween music, and cancel culture.Learn how to pay for your NAMBLA fees by working as an ice cream salesman.Vape this episode like Gamer Girl Water, you fucking simps!Episode note: Vito is bigger than Oriental Pearl on YouTube.

Episode 39Welcome to the morning coffee show.A Segment:Jay argues on Twitter!See what happens when an immovable group of idiots meet an unstoppable idiot.We chat about Japanese travel restrictions. Are too strict? As long as Jvloggers are getting in, NO!Do you lose a part of yourself living in Japan or studying Japanese language and culture? No! The fuck? How does culture and language take? It adds. Anyone who says learning about another culture robs you of your culture ignore them. They don’t know anything about other cultures or their own. Unless you had a culture forced on to you by an oppressive force, you’re fine. But, if you’re not turning yourself into a victim, are you really jvlogging?Also, Crypto Bro may be worse than we had thought. And we didn’t think much of him.B Segment:Coming to Japan advice. Listen to some royalty-free soulless music as pale-faced weirdos with no experience or future tell you how to do it.Some dipshits we encountered this week were so bereft of originality that we get a “YOLO” and a “Who hurt you?”. Apparently culture went backwards under lockdown, we get Jvloggers in 2021 stating overused phrases that were stupid before they were outdated.Should you move to Japan? Sure, c’mon over. Should you check out some Jvloggers to find out how they did it? Probably not.Break out your jvlog bingo cards. We all lose this week.

Episode 38Segment ANick pitches show ideas, pre-cum and a meatier version of the Conbini Boys.We shit on the Mortal Kombat preview.We stop stealing TkyoSam’s jokes. And then call him a dick.Another bunch of dumb white people compare gaijin to the n-word.Speaking of idiot white gaijin. Our favorite JCE, Gaijin Goomba, talks of his time living alongside yakuza and the horrors of being offered sex. He also “informs” us about the psyche of an entire generation of Japanese people’s feelings about foreign culture, language and economics. I am sure it will be well researched and not be based on any form of generalizations.Segment BThe KoK teaches you how to love.“Wesley at Large” smacks his lips together and proceeds to give no useful advice.(Yes Cam knows that Manzai is a two person act and Sugi-Chan was solo. Don’t point that out).“Attraction Japan” covers us with a layer of sleaze that hasn’t washed off yet.“Kelly Morita” says exactly what you think she would.Subscribe to our Twitter for no reason other than to mess with the Conbini Boys.You’ll cream like an Asahi Nama.

Episode 37Season 2 the moon!!The most underrated video game ever made? Listen to the cold open to learn what it is.The secret to wealth? Don’t listen to the episode to learn what it is.A Segment:Dogen disses Pearl. Does she respond? Does she call him up on Instagram to tell him she has no respect for him and that he goes for low hanging fruit? Of course she doesn’t. Pearl is a bully and won’t attack anyone with more internet value than her.Sharla disses Pearl. LOL, bad week for the girl. What is it about? Who knows, sounds like the Jvloggers are doing a lot of misquoting and passing on misinformation as usual. Check it out. So much nonsense, we can’t even keep track.Segment B:The KoKs discuss crypto and how to be wealthy in Japan. Have you got bling? Have you got Doge? Have you got Bitcoin? Have you got KoKoin? No? Pfft. Loser. Call us when you have some funds.The most solid advice: don’t listen to ALTs on how not to be broke.Listen to the end for a secret song!

Episode 36Great Scott! The KoK boys have ruined their futures by releasing too much content this month. They’d better jump in their Jvlog time travel machine: “the deplorian” and go put Biff in some manure.This is a super short episode, but never fear,  a YouTube exclusive episode will soon be here!On this episode Drew discusses “Trans Visibility Day”. As in a trans person is visible on his stream against their consent.Gaijin Goomba reacts to the only Japanese person who bothers to listen to him.And Cam reveals a secret shame: Famichiki Footwear.So grab your hoverboards and fly over the manure that is Jvlogs.

Episode 35 Light SmutSegment AOur episode making fun of the Conbini Boys gets more listens than the entire Conbini Boys back catalogue.Totemo Drew gets upset because people show him clips of himself. Understandable, his videos are terrible.Former nominee, Nanpalive gets cancelled. That’s what happens when you get women in headlocks.Segment BA man who calls himself Light, and boy is he!Light life-coaching skills. Light weights to lift. Light hair. Light logic.A man who names himself after an anime character is bad enough, but to opt to associate oneself with a psychopathic mass murder and then give life advice takes a unique kind of weirdo.The man who needs to unselect “Serial Killer Documentary” from his YouTube BGM.Episode Note:In this episode Cam gave a shout out to Twitch Wolf. But the YouTube channel name is “Daily Dose of Clips”.https://m.youtube.com/user/lonwulf0

Dave TrippinOur main man, Dave, is in the metaphorical studio tonight!The sweetest Jvlogger we have ever insulted has entered the K.O.K Deathdome to deal out some pain!Dave is here to set the record straight and show the audience where KOK touched him.We discuss what books we haven’t read or ever heard of. We talk about content, content creation, content creation critiques and criticizing content creation critiques. Cool!Dave talks about the future, his own and ours. How content can evolve and where critiques are necessary in creating art.Will the Wao Ryu host teach us to be more considerate? What do you think?

Episode 34In a time where cartoon rabbit boobs have been cancelled. Where Dr. Seuss is racist! (Wait let me look at what they’re canceling...my word that is racist). Where Super Straight is for perverts!We are brave enough to ask: “Is the word Gaijin offensive?”Spoiler alert: No, of course it isn’t. What are you, a moron?It’s not even up for debate.So rather than a nominee, this week, we assess the poor arguments of idiot Jvloggers who are trying to alleviate their white guilt by forcing the square shaped ‘gaijin’ in to the triangular ‘racist’ hole.We also reel in the third degree grease-burn we received from The Conbini Boys who flaunt their enormous internet clout in our faces. Ouch!

Conbini BoysThat’s right! Like a trip to the conbini at 8pm for a Strong Zero; we are back.The triforce of KoK reunites, Cam the triforce of wisdom, Jay the triforce of power and Nick the triforce of nostril breathing.A Segment:First, Daniel Lord of Hiding in My Room has quit! What a loss to culture.Second, Gaijin Goomba the diplomat who has spent more time in the Mushroom Kingdom than other countries.B Segment:We get return nominees like a gastrointestinal reflux. The Conbini Boys!We repackage expired foodstuff like Apu. And this week’s product is about 40 episodes beyond its used by date.The boys who giggle more than JKs getting tapioca. The two men who have eaten so much Famichiki that they’re starting to look like it. Moist chunks of flesh losing their freshness by the minute, but still somehow on the shelf. If you’re looking for some media to consume, you should give this unhealthy option a hard pass.

MicroKoK 06Hanzai Podcast!The man from Tennessee. A man who is no bullshit. A driver of vehicles and breaker of hearts.Mr. Podcast was one of our first critics, saying our show was amateurish, hypocritical, and that Jay’s Japanese sucks. Well, well, look how things have changed...um.Hanzai Podcast is as old as the oceans themselves and moved to Japan during the Kamakura period. His JLPT level is -2000.Hanzai talks about life in Japan, regales us with tales of being (perhaps, I have done no research again) the only American-born taxi driver in Japan. And his recent knighthood into the highest title a Gaijin can receive: JCJ Mod status.This man is the opposite of all our nominees. He is knowledgeable, humble, practical and a realist. He has actual stories about Japan and a real insight into life as a foreigner here.10 minutes of this guy’s takes on Japan is worth more than all the hours, of every Jvlogger combined.Do yourself a favor and listen to this episode!

Episode 32KoKfire side horror stories! It’s like “Are You Afraid of the Dark” (a Canadian series) only the fear is the existential crisis that life is meaningless.Marc, Calvin, Jay and Cam all put the flashlights under their chins and tell of personal tales from their time working in dispatch companies and Eikaiwas.Jay and Cam both talk about being haunted by doofuses.Marc tells the legend of the mysterious missing Leo Palace.And Calvin relives his encounter with a level 10 Halitosis creature.Perhaps the scariest thing of all is the all-hearing microphone!! It hears you clanging glasses! It hears you burping! It hears you talking in the background! It hears you entering the room after taking a shit and putting on your pants! Wooooooooo!

Episode 31Nick and Jay force Cam to apologize for their mistakes.Next episode Jay and Nick will apologize to Cam.We elevator-pitch Wao-Ryu a recipe for success.We discuss high school debate teams; the virgin opener vs. the chad closer.Nick and Cam discuss their love of TISM. This Is Serious Mum!Segment B:On this special holiday of Japanese Foundation Day the KoK boys have found someone very special. Callem AronSEN.Imagine the most racist, sexist (and transphobic) views from a Japanese person. Now imagine those views were put in the brain of a 45kg New Zealand man.A man who is dressed for a WWII reenactment. A man who makes Kanadajin look well informed. A man who ignores facts like a flat-earther. A man more indoctrinated than a Islamic-terrorist. A man more one-sided than an iPhone owner.Callem is a Japanese Culture Expert (JCE), who knows more about Japan than anyone else despite having never stepped foot in the country. He is basically a less weeby version of Gaijin Goomba.Explore history with KoK.

Episode 30A Segment:OREO: the key to teaching fat Americans how to talk. If you don’t like today’s show, try using it! If you don’t like our nominees, try using it! If you’re an ALT, try teaching it!God gives us a thumbs up and sends us an angel, our new Mascot and hero of the show: Sign-Chan! A woman who defeats more evil than Sailor Moon, and has a power level over 9000. Sign-Chan unleashed her 卍解(final solution) Signbonzakura onto Majin-Drew. (You guys like me mixing these anime references?)You will need to watch a clip for this to make sense, but trust us, it’s the funniest thing you will ever see.Segment B:A man who has failed the Turing test.Dave Trippin, the robot sent back in time to terminate “Wao-Ryu! Only in Japan”.Dave’s interest include {insert popular media here}, and {insert common human interest}.His favorite Japanese tourist spot is Yotsuya Kaidan, but sadly he can’t go down them by himself yet.Apparently he is showing signs of a personality, but so far it’s just be rude to people who turn up to YouTube Hanami events.My ass has healed a lot by the way! Nobody has been asking, but I am doing just fine! Don’t mind me, over here with my two buttholes! Sorry for being a whole minute late! Sorry I was limping!

Episode 29 T.E.N.Segment A:Welcome to the meme economy people! Where shitlords run the planet. So you all better watch it!(Invest in our new KryptOKurrancy)Nanpalive picks up! The internet’s resentment at least. Did Nanpa listen to our advice? Let’s find out.This starts the conversation: what do words mean? Jvloggers and their fans don’t know, even though they teach English.Critique Vs. Bullying.Don’t know the difference? Stay off the internet! If someone says things you don’t like, that is not bullying.For example; making fun of someone’s content is not cyber-bullying, it’s critique.Chasing someone around the internet and messaging them negative things constantly on multiple platforms is not critique, it is cyber-bullying.Also, accusing someone of saying false and/or harmful things, is a serious thing. You’re going to need to bring an example of your claim. But let’s face it, if you watch Jvloggers unironically you can’t read, so who am I writing this for?Speaking of bullying: imagine you don’t like someone, but they are too powerful and handsome to fight. So, you decide to take out your hurt fee-fees on someone smaller (like cancelling an interview with Radery). That could be considered bullying.The teacher gave you an F, so you knocked over the skinny kid. No class in that reaction people.By the way check out Radrey’s critique of us: https://youtu.be/JkewkhXikgESegment B:Tokyo Expat Network Facebook Group. We are sick of Jvloggers, let’s “bully” regular fellow immigrants!Normal day on TEN:Kanji are scary. Light bulbs are scary. Remotes are scary. Maps are scary.How do I tie the laces on my slippers? I can’t see them. Pls advice.Japanese bear eating me. Wat do?Where can I find Kimitsu no Yaiba Demon Slayer subtitle playing theaters?How do I use the taps in my kitchen?Get some advice from some real experts/bullies.

Why is English education in Japan so bad? Well you can go over to watch Nobita’s latest video where he consults JCE Gaijin Goomba and a porn star.OR!You could listen to someone who actually has qualifications and lives in Japan.So what is wrong with the system? Quite a lot really. Let’s start with the awful training programs. Most of the foreigner-related English education is made up of for profit companies. These companies spend more time and budget on marketing rather than developing any kind of lessons or training. The staff they hire are under-qualified, undertrained and underpaid.This staff is largely people who would endure anything just to live in Japan. They have little to no background in education, and learn everything from their trainers? So who are these trainers? Basically old staff. That’s right, you go from unqualified teacher to an unqualified trainer in a matter of years (or months).The Dunning-Kruger effect is what convinces these trainers and teachers that they are in the right place, and that nothing suspicious is going on.Training and advice within these companies and programs is made up of assumptions and passed along anecdotes. So essentially ALTs are using the same method of education as cavemen used to figure out how the sun and moon work.We look at one such training seminar that a JET trainer was nice enough to leave unattended.Make sure the safety bar is secured, it’s gonna be a real JET-coaster!

Tokyo LensSegment A:Cam throws the gauntlet down and challenges Nick to push himself to be all he can be and find his ikigai.Drew plays train Santa and teaches proper manners to the barbarian Japanese.Daniel Lord discusses an old flame, and no, we aren’t talking about the burning in his urinary tract.The KoK boys create a new “Combini Boys” game that they will play next week. Maybe?Segment B:What is the most basic concept of photography? Position the most important thing in the center of the frame. If a person were to constantly position one thing, for example a banana, in center frame, you would say “This photographer is obsessed with bananas”.Tokyo Lens! The man who cannot get enough of himself. What is Tokyo? It’s pretty Norm apparently. Norm is rising from the south and will be hovering over Tokyo for the duration of the week.Norm, another hemorrhoid on Japan’s ass spawned from Tokyo Creative.The cognitive dissonance related to Japan is brought up yet again. It’s not filled with ninjas and girls running to school with toast in their mouth you fucking weebs! Don’t try to get the first job you can find here! It will suck! Get a real skill and come here as a useful gaijin! We need good representation, not more festering pustules!Also Elon Musk is related somehow.

ValuepackCam is back from ass surgery.Jay drops into Arggh Garry’s livestream.We talk about the accuracy of Japanese culture in “Cobra Kai”.We discuss how Australian cheese companies have ended racism.We take a poll from Hiding in My Room’s Daniel Lord.Segment B:The KoK boys are delivering a value pack of KFC: Kanto Fried Cringe this week. A group not strong enough for individual nominations, but together they form a kind of poorly working Voltron that makes you say “I’d rather die than let that shitty robot save me”.Angie’s Tea: Another white woman comes to Japan, unaware that on her quest to discover herself and display her individual take on life has ironically been done by millions of white woman clones before her. In the value pack, she is the white meat tenders that somebody forgot to give us sauce for.Conbini Boys: You know everything you need to about this podcast just from the name. These boneless chicken pieces slowly describe combini food to you as they giggle endlessly like stoned teenagers.Paolo from TOKYO: No, there are no typos in that channel name. Paolo only committed one real sin, but it is equivalent to biting the apple.Tokyo Handsome Boy: These guys are the limited release special flavor, no longer available, but oddly memorable and confusing in taste.Get your wet wipes ready, it’s gonna get crispy in here.

Nanpa LiveThe 2nd KOK and JIJ crossover eventIn studio: The delightful and always entertaining ladies from the Jaded in Japan Podcast, which you should totally be listening to if you’re not already.We needed a ladies opinion on this wekk’s nominee “Nampa Live”. Wow! A pick-up artist, this is exciting! This guy’s video will be filled with hitting on Japanese girls. I am sure he isn’t going to be like every other Jvlogger, making a two hour stream with only five minutes of actual content.Also, Drew emails us with an invitation for a KOK with STD crossover.Arrgh Garry, makes a video about us. The video contains intense and thoughtful constructive criticism that is clearly laid out and easily understood.

Behind the scenes with the KoK boys. Mostly our pee breaks, drink refills and sexual fetish commentary with a few connection errors sprinkled in for good measure.

KoKmasMerry Cringemas!2020 still sucks and we aren’t quite finished yet.Feeling lonely, locked down for the holidays? Missing your family and friends? Can’t go back home for the holidays? Can’t sneak out for a drink? Never fear! The KoK boys are bringing cheer and gifts with your favorite nominees.Totally Drew and Oriental Pearl, totally prank Radrey by not coming on to his show despite making assurances they would. Apparently an English school manager and a polyglot can’t figure out the meaning of the word professionalism. For more details tune in to Radrey’s channel.Ryan Boundless goes for a morning Christmas gallop.Kelly Morita and Daniel Lord (Hiding on my room) are not from the the North Pole, but they appear to be bipolar.Sharla and Michelangelo are sexy reindeers with drinking problems.Nobita is there.Cathy Cat continues to provide nothing you won’t learn from a single google search or two hours of living in Japan.Tokyo Creative blah blah blah.

JapanatorSegment A:Which one of the KoK boys had perfect attendance at school?We get hate from Gaijin Goomba and Oriental Pearl and then we go straight to this week’s nominee: Japanator! The clown prince of Japan. So get ready for the most poorly formulated rebuttals in history! Do North American schools teach debate? Apparently not.Pearl accuses us of pushing a stereotype of gaijins, gaijin-smashing their way through Japan, and that’s why she hates us. It has nothing to do with us criticizing her. No, not at all. It’s that we are pushing the false narrative that some people are coming to Japan and acting like assholes. That never happens! And you should be ashamed if you have ever thought so!As a general disclaimer, KoK loves Japan, the Japanese people, and we believe most of the foreign community is a well behaved and respectable collection of individuals. We just hate cringe Jvloggers like Pearl.Segment B:Remember that the guillotine is a French invention, as Japanator likes to get his French-Canadian self Kubi-ni-naru-ed.How do you get fired from an Eikaiwa job? How do you get fired from multiple? Let’s find out!Japanator regales us all with the tragedy that is his life in a tale worthy of Victor Hugo. (Not really, like all Jvloggers he is bafflingly unaware that he is the asshole in every situation)

On this MicroKoK installment we speak to Scott aka Unrested! We cover important issues such as mental health, why you SHOULDN'T come to Japan, corona virus' effect on small business, being wary of insurance hustlers, and to top it all off we even throw in some eikaiwa horror stories for good measure. This is the most adult podcast episode ever created by Strong Zero enthusiasts in the history of mankind. (Look it up, it's true)A special thanks to Scott for joining us this time! Go check out his youtube channel "Unrested" for more great content.

Oriental PearlSegment A:Cam invents a conspiracy theory and a new dessert.Totemo Drew joins our Patreon and Discord. With ill intent!Radrey from "Why Come Japan” loses his interview to Totemo Drew because of Radrey’s association with KoK. What kind of weak pathetic loser would take out their inability to listen to criticism out on poor lovable Radrey? And to cancel an interview with him just because he also interviewed us? Shame! What’s that? Oriental Pearl pulled the exact same shit a few hours after this episode dropped? Oh! Sorry Radrey.Segment B:There is a trope in movies, such as heist movies or something involving getting a team together. One person will be the “genius” espionage expert. They will always have the amount of languages they speak listed. It goes something like this:Boss: (Protagonist), let me introduce you to the fifth member of our team, (love interest). She has twenty PHDs and speaks 300 languages. She is basically C3PO with tits.It is lazy hack writing that quickly explains that someone is smart. And it is true, a speaker of multiple languages is often a disciplined, academic, or cultured person.Think about what you could do with the ability of speaking multiple tongues. You could work in diplomacy, trade, humanitarian ventures. However, you would need some other skills obviously to be actually useful. A pop-star who speaks two languages probably couldn’t translate medical speeches.But what if you had no other skills? Would you chose to shove cameras in the faces of small businesses and make prank-bros videos? Probably not, like who the hell would do that?Oriental Pearl!Welcome to the illustrious “polyglot” “community”. We are not sure if this is a real thing, but if it’s anything like the Jvlog community, it means being petty, thin-skinned, having an overinflated feeling of value, and annoying local Japanese people.

Chris OkanoA segment!Cam comes in late (fucker).Japanator is touched upon, but MicroKok incoming!Kathy Kat, your favorite Jvlogger (apparently) releases a cringe top ten list.Daniel Lord exchanges cereal for cheesecake.Nobita tries to protect gaijin from toxic Japanese women.Tkyosam kicks Jay out of Sam’s Discord group. Sam also says that KoK needs to “do their research”. An untrue statement that Jay ended up taking way too fucking seriously!Yes sir! That is one fine looking A segment.Segment BUnlike our regular jvlogger flunkies, who grow up dirt poor and try to etch out a life with zero skills, Chris Okano was born to money, and still wound up with zero skills. Okano like all jvloggers creates content layered in dullness and unawareness. But the insidiousness of a Chris has another layer, he is a gigantic tit that has given milk to other jvloggers and is partially responsible for the current Jvlog industry.Previous nominee Jvloggers such as Sharla and Kelly Morita are actually employees of his old company Tokyo Creative. And the sponsorships might actually play a hand in the gross spread of misinformation that Jvloggers espouse.Segment B takes a dry departure from our regular comedic content. It is the result of a fall down a rabbit hole, but leads to some rich understanding of the “why” of Jvlogging.

Micaela (Muh-Kay-Luh? Mi-Shi-Eh-La? Michael?)Segment A:Smashing Mexican foodShould Sean Slap? Sean should slap!Some fucking loser with body-dysmorphia and other major self esteem issues called Nick infuriates Jay. We also talk about Tkyosam’s friend of the same name. Let’s give a guy with mental illness the attention he craves by revealing that we know too much about him. This will confirm to him that he matters and should continue being a shitheel for dwindling internet fame. Or we could have just ignored him and he would have gone away, perhaps even improved himself. Oh well, do what we say, not as we do?Japanator Japaninates! His channel, thrice by the time this episode drops. The ranting oblivious Québécois asshole. He is the hydra, we cut one head off and another appears. Only it’s a silhouette or a Japanese flag stolen from Google Images. We give the breakdown of his interaction with KOK. Sadly this dipshit dropped an amazing video of his third attempt at content right after we recorded this episode, so sadly this is a bit behind, but fear not, we will discuss developments next week. The cringe could no be contained!Segment B:Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Gajin Goomba We got some Moby Dick for your ears tonight! As in three white whales.A segment:White whale 1: the blowout between KOK and Tkyosam. Jay starts piling up on the fat jokes. We reveal why he is upset with us this episode.Jay appears on a 3 hour deadstream with Japanator (RIP) and the Jvlog. (Episode note: this episode was recorded before The Japanator killed his channel)Radrey from “Why Come Japan is in studio tonight. Will Radrey become u/LifeDaikon’s new muse?B Segment:White whale 2: A man you wish Mario could jump on/harpoon: Gaijin Goomba.A man who help created the term Japanese Cultural Expert (JCE). A dude who has embraced the Steven Seagal lifestyle of talking about something from Japan and then becoming so fat, his face swallows his eyes.A man offended on behalf of all Americans and Japanese. He has spent 17 years here! 17 years!White whale 3: Gajin Goomba’s partner. What kind of lady is fine enough for a Mario themed wedding? Femininity like Birdo, skin like a Boo, thicc like Chain-Chomp and the personality of Bob-omb.There is also a song that is worse than the Ryan Boundless porno.

AndyJapandy responds to the Tkyosam episodes in studio. Giving his side to the story. Andy talks about how he got started making YouTube videos and why after 15 years he hasn’t “made it”. He also discusses work with Tkyosam, the split, the pay, the box!

Let’s squeeze some spaghetti!Well it’s what the audience wanted (for some reason). We discuss the most controversial Jvlogger; Papa Tkyo. Will it be everything you wanted?The KOK boys become instant hypocrites. Jay continues to defend Tkyosam as he is still angling for a future in Jvlogging. And, the boys debate sponsoring Sam’s YouTube career.Do the boys make fun of Sam’s weight? They wouldn’t lower themselves to such nasty insults (for a few minutes). We also discuss why we had Gimmeabreakman on, and our own interactions with Sam.Nickel teaches the only Japanese word he knows, “tsundere”. Jay stops rude Gaijins in a kaitenzushi and dates millions of women.In A Segment we talk about being blocked by Kelly Morita’s Instagram, for reasons unknown. We also watch clips of Kelly and make fun of her.Nickel explains where he is up to on his pizza toast missionJay tells a really ironic and funny motorbike story.A lady from Sugita Totemo Drew’s past resurfaces, much like his content. This leads to yet another prolonged talk about his teeth.

Spoooooooooooky times is spoooooopy times.A Segment: backlash from too many interviews! But we don’t really care, we are the biggest jvlogger hate podcast in Lithuania! Nick admits to his fetish and we explore his hentai degeneracy.Jay Japaninates the Japanator with the Jvlog. Cam reads Japan’s worst resume cover letter.B Segment: (finally a fucking B Segment) It’s Halloween, and some previous nominees have some horror stories of their own, Spoopy Totemo Drew (STD) became a 幽霊 (dull spirit) when he was barred from a bar due to a notice stating “Japanese Only”.Kelly Morita and Sharizard (or should we say Sharndelure?) go ghost hunting. Woooooooo.They find the ghosts of their sex-lives.However despite these mind-breaking videos, we will be focusing on the very spine-tingling, nipple-rubbingly Jvloggers: Ghost Map Stories. Or as Grandpa Jay calls them, “Ghost Map Hunters”. A Jvlog duo featuring the courageous Dan and Wombat. (Not to be mistaken with the 90s talkback radio show “Dan and the Wombat”).The two fearless men go where few dare to step; well-lit tunnels and tourist destinations. They also flex their advanced vocabulary with words such as “creepy, abnobabnality, creepy, and creepy).They film frightening things, such as suitcases, dudes fishing and Hello Kitty graffiti.You won’t believe it! I mean anything, you literally won’t believe anything.

Another fucking guest?Yes, but this guest has two things that no Jvlogger has; life experience and useful advice.Well advice if you expect to go to jail in Japan.Marc Cavazos is in the house! The big house!What is Japanese jail like? Do you get a phone call if you go to Japanese jail? Will you get raped in Japanese jail? Are there Yakuza in Japanese jail? And if so, do they know Jake Adelstein? Can I bring my Switch to Japanese jail?C’mon r/japanlife! You idiots ask these stupid questions all the time! You can get an actual answer for a change.Marc tells about getting wrongfully accused of drug smuggling in Japan and being defended by Carlos Goshn’s lawyer.Marc also has strong connections to the Jvlogger community and has meet most of our nominees.We respond to the Victor haters hatred of us having Victor on the show.

Just the tip baby. A small insert for your pleasure.Remember when we said Season 1 ends episode 15? Lies!Remember when we said we would do a vote rally? Lies!Remember when we said we’d shit on people episode 16? Lies!We address the lies in this MicroKOK episode 1...Lies!Why does Interac do drug testing? Listen to find out.We respond to The Jvlog’s response to our Pizza Toast Throw-down.Why is his thumbnail off?Where we wrong about him?Why should you learn Japanese?Why should you put rocket on pizza?We restate how much we love Japan.How old is The Jvlog?Who gives a shit?The KOK boys are in lockdown in the KOK Kitchen Stadium trying to perfect pizza toast.