Movie Marks

It's been a long hard road but here we are: we've finally arrived at episode 50. What better way to celebrate than with one of the pillars of wrestling and film. It's Ready to Rumble. Did this film cause the downfall of WCW? I mean... it didn't help. But we aren't here for that, we're here for the redemption of the legendary Jimmy King. We also look back at our past episodes and celebrate the films we've covered previously with the Movie Marks Marks of Excellence, our special awards presentation.

This week we head to a faraway land. A land of kings, magic, gladiators and shockingly modern tattoos. Prepare for some of the finest dinner theater acting you've ever seen as we enter the Kingdom of Gladiators. A long-missing princess returns to her kingdom on the eve of a great tournament. But is she who she claims to be? We find out with the help of two wrestlers. Annie Social and Mr. Stay Down himself, Corey Graves. So sit back, slip on your magic sunglasses (you'll have to listen to get that reference), and check out our latest episode.

It was the worst of times and it was... honestly the worst of times and in this week's episode it was like that until the year 2034. It's COVID 19: Invasion a gripping tale about family and extremely cheap filming locations. Big Daddy Cool himself Kevin Nash has a plan to stop the spread of COVID once and for all. It's a plan that makes so little sense you wouldn't blame Nash if he just left the movie for 80 minutes or so. (Spoiler: That's what he actually does.) But through it all, a hero will rise. A hero named Crutchy.

Have you ever wanted to see a major action star sit in a chair for 90 minutes? We've got you covered. This week a team of special ops soldiers and a photographer go on a series of missions. Are these mission related? I mean... I guess they are. Lucky for them they have Steven Segal as an elite sniper who does almost no sniping. In a seemingly unrelated storyline: Rob Van Dam is in this movie and does the thumb thing once or twice.

Martha Jane Cannary or, as she's better known, Calamity Jane is one of the most well known personalities from the Wild West. Books, movies, and prestigious TV series have all covered her colorful life in great (and fairly accurate) detail. Today's film throws all that out the window and just wings it. It's a bold choice and we're going to see if it pays off. Hot on Jane's tail is Al Snow (minus Head) who's always just one step behind her. Hopefully he catches up before Calamity Jane gets her REVENGE!!!

This week on the show we cover a staple of direct-to-VHS action films: a generic South American-esque country with a corrupt ruler and drug kingpin. Watch as an awful plan unfolds so that they can capture the US military's latest equipment.... ACTIVE STEALTH! Will they succeed in their evil plan to own a stealth fighter in order to, apparently, deliver drugs quietly? Can the good guys use the power of Daniel Baldwin to defeat evil? Or will the bad guys be triumphant thanks to their secret weapon and Movie Marks G.O.A.T. Terry Funk?

This week's episode is one of our favorite sub-genres of films: 1980s wrestling movies where everyone believes wrestling is 100% real. This time a pair of cops need to find a new line of work and of course their fallback is professional wrestling. Join us and enjoy that one guy from that thing you watched that one time and his partner look to be the best BAD GUYS in professional wrestling. Also... Sgt. Slaughter is definitely in this film. He's one absolutely one of the leads. We promise. But while you wait for Sarge, you can be entertained by the legend Gene LeBell and his on-screen significant other Ruth Buzzi (ask your grandparents).

This week we have a film that is "inspired by true events." Neither of us have ever seen a film use that term so loosely. What starts off as a run of the mill "protect the princess" story takes a wild turn that nobody ... and we mean NOBODY ... saw coming. Join us, Eric Roberts, Pat Morita, and star Gail Kim as we experience Royal Kill. Trust us. It's quite the experience.

This week on the show it's time for an island getaway. Listen as a TV producer tries to manipulate the public by focusing on the worst people they can find for their convict murder Olympics. Unfortunately for our evil producer he made one big mistake: He brought along Jack Conrad (Stone Cold), a US special forces soldier who's been put in jail...for some reason. There's no escape for eight of the contestants or the audience.

This week it's a Texas-sized treasure hunt as a pair of low level criminals look for lost cowboy mafia treasure. Join us as we watch people with no plan whatsoever really hope a lot of super specific things happen so it all works out. It's swerve city as we watch Copper Bill starring Dustin "The Natural Goldust" Rhodes.

This week on the show it's a Father's Day extravaganza! We start off with a visit to Star City to experience the first appearance of Cody Rhodes in the Arrowverse as Derek Sampson. Then we hit the way-back machine and visit the American Dream Dusty Rhodes playing Mad Dog in an episode of Burke's Law called “Who Killed Skippy's Master?” It's a Father's Day double-dip packed with confusing plot threads from episodes we haven't seen, Lethal Weapon references, and a woman inexplicably buried up to her chin in sand.

Grab your umbrella and put on your boots because there's a storm a-brewing. Gather your friends and family and hunker down inside the old library. You know about the old library don't you? We abandoned it when we built the new one, but still left it exactly as it was. Luckily John Morrison makes his return to the show to protect us from STORMAGEDDON! Oh... Did we mention there's also killer cyborgs in this movie? Does that do anything for you?

Listen... We don't even know where to start with this one. The good? We get to watch The Genius Lanny Poffo and ECW original The Blue Meanie make some movie magic. The not so good? Everything else. The best way to sum this one up is to say that a werewolf veterinarian falls in love, runs away from her werewolf family, and hides four blocks across town. But not in that order.

Did you know that before Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson was the biggest action star on the planet, he occasionally made movies that had almost no action? Yeah, neither did we. Join us as we dive headfirst into the uninteresting and genre-less 2013 film Empire State, which stars Liam Hemsworth as a crook with a heart of gold. Marvel not only at the meandering and incoherent plot structure, but also at how misused every member of the cast is. (Emma Roberts is in this movie and contributes so little we're pretty sure she has no recollection of the film.) The good news is that this episode has one of the most fun Swerves we've ever done as we play "Which Hemsworth is Which?"

The war between good and evil has raged since the dawn of time. In the latest chapter of this neverending skirmish we have two legends. In one corner is the greatest luchador that ever lived, El Santo. In the other we have the king of the undead, the man with a thirst for blood, Dracula. Feel the excitement as Santo spends most of the movie watching TV as Dracula does some vaguely evil stuff. Oh, and did we mention that this isn't just any version of the movie... it's the sexy vampire edition? Probably should have lead with that.

Over the years there have been many classic films about teachers making a difference. To Sir, With Love, Dead Poets Society, Stand and Deliver, and of course The Principal, which features an Oscar-worthy performance by Jim Belushi. But this week we come together to discuss possibly the best of them all: Reggie's Prayer. Former NFL player and WCW alumnus Reggie White plays Reggie Knox (apparently from The Tony Danza School of Character Naming) who steps away from football to make a difference in the life of Portland youths. The only person standing in Reggie's way is drug kingpin Mr. Portola, played by Paul "The Big Show" Wight. Let's find out if the NFL Hall of Famer can overcome the future WWE Hall of Famer and save these kids.

It's a Mania sized episode this week as we skip all the nonsense (as well as four sequels) and get right to the sixth entry in John Cena's Marine franchise. We're covering The Marine 6: Close Quarters, which doesn't star John Cena, but does include a performance by The Man herself, Becky Lynch. This flick continues the tradition of handing off a successful action franchise to fresh young talent. In this case it's a handoff to 52-year-old youngster Shawn Michaels. Let us help you to navigate this "tribute" to Die Hard and together we'll celebrate the greatest marine of them all... The Miz.

All the stars are out for the Movie Marks Academy Awards special. Luckily, this year a film featuring a wrestler is nominated for a bunch of Oscars, and we're definitely going to take the opportunity to exploit it. We talk a little bit about Dave Bautista's Dune in a way only the Movie Marks can. But before we throw on our tuxedoes for the red carpet, let's take a detour and watch something that didn't get nominated for any awards. It's the 1991 failed TV pilot Tag Team. Roddy Piper and Jesse Ventura leave the world of wrestling and immediately land jobs as undercover cops. Listen to us gush over how much we would have loved this show if it was actually picked up. That doesn't mean it's good. It just means there's something wrong with us.

Love may come in all shapes and sizes, but this week on the show it only comes in two. Kinda small and kinda hairy. We're talking the 2015 romantic comedy The Dog Wedding starring Matt Bloom, formerly known as Prince Albert. Let us guide you through the most special day of two people's lives: When their dogs are joined in wedded bliss as part of a possible cult ritual. If that doesn't pique your interest, what about the corporate intrigue of big pickle conglomerates? Now we've got you. All this and more on this week's episode of the Movie Marks

It's February and that means that love is in the air. What are you thinking of getting your significant other? Can we recommend chocolates? A fine meal? Jewelry? How about a chokeslam? But not just any chokeslam, we're talking about the 2016 "romantic" "comedy" Chokeslam starring Chelsea Green and Hall of Famer Mick Foley. Join the Movie Marks in finding out all the wrong ways to win someone's heart.

This week the Movie Marks have devised a special treat for you. In honor of Saturday's Royal Rumble we present the first ever MOVIE MARKS MINOR ROLE RUMBLE! We're highlighting wrestlers in roles that aren't big enough to carry a full episode, but still made an impact. Before we get to the main event, however, we take some time to discuss Fall of Grayskull starring "The Machine" Brian Cage as He-Man. Let's see what kind of low-budget magic a fan film can muster with a single green screen and less than 40 minutes.

It's time for some Movie Marks math. Face/Off minus Travolta plus Eva Marie divided by a Lifetime Original equals what? If you answered Inconceivable then you're correct. Your prize? Today's episode. Listen as we talk about a family that is doing everything in their power to ignore red flags that will surely not put them on the wrong side of a psychopath.

This week on the show we will be playing the part of the relatives you don't care enough about to visit on or even before Christmas. The holiday is over and now you have to go to their houses and awkwardly exchange gifts. Well just like your worst aunt, we got you a gift you're sure to hate. Instead of the the Arnold version of Jingle All the Way we got you a stocking stuffed with Larry the Cable Guy. This week we're talking about Jingle All the Way 2, the sequel nobody wanted with absolutely zero of the original's charm. Lucky for us Santino Marella is along for the ride so at least we've got that.

It's the holidays, so that means it's time for trees, presents, hot cocoa, and Christmas movies. Our first gift to you this holiday season is the WWE Studios film Santa's Little Helper. Let's find out if The Miz is up to snuff to become Santa's number one helper with a job title so bizarre you'll have to listen to our show to actually hear it. Along the way he runs into an elf with an attitude played by Paige. It's 100% what you should expect from a holiday movie, but only half of the time.

For an entire generation of wrestling fans, No Holds Barred was the film that proved competitors from the ring could exist outside our television screens. That wasn't necessarily a good thing. Let us guide you down this river of DOOKIE for the ultimate (and confusing) battle between a good-ish wrestler and an evil-ish television executive. There may be no holds barred, but logic and a coherent script are definitely barred from this one.

This week we continue our mission to collect the cast of Malcolm in the Middle like Thanos does Infinity Stones. Frankie Muniz is ... [dramatic pause] ... Pizza Man! Every hero needs a nemesis and Frankie has to deal with The Big Cheese, played by former world champion and yoga enthusiast Diamond Dallas Page. Join us as we breakdown a series of awkward cameos intercut with the battle for control of a genetically modified tomato. Yes, that's actually the plot of this movie.

It's been a wild ride for the man called Sting. Lucky for us he's letting us peek behind the curtain at his career...at least to the best of his recollection. Watch as we experience all the highlights of Sting's career like tuna fish and orange juice smoothies, the Ultimate Warrior using a public toilet, and the greatest moment of his life: riding a rollercoaster. Let's relive history together and learn what Sting's "moment of truth" really was. (Spoiler: This film doesn't contain any moments of truth.)

Hamilton vs. Burr, Frazier vs. Ali, and Harding vs. Kerrigan are some of the greatest battles in history. But none of them can touch the heat of Pro Wrestlers vs. Zombies. Watch as wrestling legends from WWF, ECW, and AEW come together and attempt to survive the night. Spoiler: It doesn't work out for most of them.

It's officially spooky season and the Marks kick it off right with See No Evil, the very first offering from WWE Studios. Join us as a group of highly unlikeable teens spend the night in an abandoned hotel with noted eye fetishist Kane. There's a lot of unsettling things that happen in this movie but one scene in particular will haunt your every waking moment for the rest of your life. Everything about this movie is pretty gross so keep that hand sanitizer ready and let's go trick or treating with the mayor of Knox County.

Remember when Bruce Willis was your favorite actor growing up? Just blockbuster after blockbuster. Well this week the Movie Marks watch his dollar-store sci-fi epic Cosmic Sin. And it doesn't star "blockbuster" Bruce Willis. It stars "wire me the money and you've got three weeks to film whatever you can" Bruce Willis. Lucky for us, C.J. "Lana" Perry is along for the ride as a war-hardened sniper with a gun the size of a MINI Cooper. Frank Grillo is also in this movie.....kind of. Together we'll unlock the secrets of Cosmic Sin, which includes the mystery of why that's the name of this movie in the first place.

Do you like your movie heroes vindictive, sadistic, and barely heroic at all? Well the Movie Marks have just the hero for you. His name is Soldier. Or maybe it's Kelly. Or maybe it's Snake Eater. Regardless, he's a cop. Or maybe he's a private investigator. Or maybe he's neither. Regardless, he's a terrible protagonist. And Bam Bam Bigelow is in this movie too. Join us for Snake Eater 3... His Law.

Take one look at the poster for this week's movie and you would think it's your standard, run of the mill crime thriller. Well, the Movie Marks are here to tell you that the poster is a lie. This movie is easily one of the most insane and bizarre films we've covered to date. There's a lot of untaxed cigarettes and even more pickles. So many pickles. Let's head down to Brooklyn, Louisiana with some really great actors cashing checks and hanging out with Hunter.

The Marks finally check out a film starring a legendary luchador. No, it's not El Santo or Blue Demon. Instead it's the legendary member of the Dark Carnival, Vampiro. (WHOOP! WHOOP!) This movie has something for everyone. Weird ewok robots, guns that shoot giant flies, mannequins, and a completely absent hero. So spend some time with us as we fail to even remotely explain what happens in this movie.

What happens when a Hollywood bad boy lives life so close to the edge that he finally falls? Well the only thing that happens in the world of faith-based cinema is that he's forced to join his hometown church's stage production about the life of Jesus. During this journey, he learns that there are things more important than fame and debauchery like friendship and faith. Also Shawn Michaels is in this film playing a character simply named Doug. Yup. Doug. It's The Resurrection of Gavin Stone on the Movie Marks.

On this week's episode of the Movie Marks, we take a leisurely trip down the River of Darkness with YOUR olympic hero Kurt Angle. It's got a few vengeful ghosts and lots of gripping small-town political drama. Along the way we'll visit friends like Big Sexy Kevin Nash, Psycho Sid, and Glacier!

Before he was Fast or Furious, before he was a Trainwreck, John Cena was just a man trying to readjust to civilian life. The only thing standing in his way is the T-1000 and a whole lot of walking. Let's explore the film that would launch a career as well as a neverending WWE Films franchise. (Full disclosure: this episode was recorded prior to a major production upgrade for the Movie Marks. Don't judge us. We feel you judging us.)

Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe is the simple tale of two former friends butting heads over the attention of a beautiful woman. Maybe one is an escaped space convict and the other a space cop and maybe the beautiful woman has a child that will unlock the anti-life equation that will destroy the universe. You know: A tale as old as time. Join us as we try to make sense of the senseless. Also keep an eye out for a truly insane cameo that puts this in a shared universe with the 1987 film The Principal.

Fresh from the oven and directly to your ear holes the Movie Marks present Army of the Dead. Zack Snyder revisits the genre that got him to the show with a zombie movie that mixes in a little Ocean's Eleven and a whole lot of WTF. Snyder won't be walking alone on this one because Dave Bautista is along for this very long walk through Las Vegas that features the occasional zombie, the occasional tiger, and the occasional time loop subplot. Seriously? We're the Movie Marks and we'll be your guides through Army of the Dead.

This week we take a look at the WWE Studios film The Main Event. If you like hearing people refer to wrestlers as "superstars" and fans as "the universe," have we got the movie for you. This movie takes place in a bizarre alternate reality where normal people use all of your favorite Vince/WWE buzzwords. Young Leo Thompson dreams of being a WWE superstar (not wrestler) and he finds a magical mask that gives him all the abilities he needs to achieve his dreams. So get ready to watch a middle-schooler embarrass your favorite wrestlers from NXT like Keith Lee and Babatunde. There's plenty of WWE talent in this movie and literally all of them are under used. So it's really not any different from watching an episode of Raw.

The year is 2026 and we have found a way to open a portal between Nevada and Mars. What for? It doesn't really matter. What does matter is that we have the first appearance by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson on the latest episode of the Movie Marks. Get ready for a thrilling, 10-minute tribute to the namesake video game wrapped in 100+ minutes of confusing nonsense. We promise our episode will be shorter and less painful. You're welcome.

Let the Movie Marks take you back in time to the year 1986. We have a can't-miss film starring one comedy veteran, a hot fresh face from SNL, the director of Scarface, and Captain Lou. There's no possible way this movie won't be a smash hit! What? You've never heard of this love letter to New Jersey? Well let us get you familiar with whatever this is. It's Wise Guys with Captain Lou Albano on the Movie Marks.

It's a very special bonus episode of the Movie Marks. What could possibly get us to break our very strict every other week format? Well of course it's Wrestlemania and what better way to celebrate than with the Rated R Superstar Edge. A main event talent deserves a main event podcast to discuss his 2016 movie Interrogation. Get ready to experience a film with almost zero interrogations, but plenty of people making really poor decisions. And man that computer expert character sure looks familiar. So whether it's before the showcase of the immortals or as a cure for your Mania hangover, check out this week's episode.

This week the Movie Marks make their inaugural trip into the world of WWE Studios. Dolph Ziggler plays a cop that can't be bothered by procedures, rules, or common decency. It's a race against time to find a missing child who has a bomb strapped to him. Along the way we stop at a bunch of generic locations (tattoo parlor, lumber yard, etc.) as well as a WWE house show. Lucky for us our hero doesn't give a single damn about anyone's safety. Also Kane is the chief of police. (Insert shrug here.) It's Countdown.

The second-most famous group of crime fighting ninja brothers are back! When their trip to local theme park Mega Mountain is interrupted by a confusingly diverse team of evildoers, the 3 Ninjas will need some major league help. Lucky for them martial arts master Dave Dragon (played by Hulk Hogan for some reason) is recently unemployed and also at the park. Together they'll all try to save Mega Mountain from Loni Anderson and Jim Varney. So strap in, listeners, for a movie where absolutely everyone is miscast.

Tokyo is under attack by a giant prehistoric monster and the only people that can save the city are a cosplaying scientist and his lowly loser assistant. Lucky for them they found a way to turn the assistant into one of the best professional wrestlers in the world: the great Kota Ibushi. Oh and he's as tall as a skyscraper somehow. Will this be enough to save Tokyo? Is there a pointless spy subplot? Is there a cameo by another Japanese wrestling legend? Obviously the answer to all these questions is yes. So join the Movie Marks for giant-sized adventure in Kaiju Mono.

Are you ready for total Stratusfaction? This week on the show we take a trip north of the border for our second look at the world of bounty hunting. We accompany Trish Stratus as she balances being a bounty hunter, waitress, and mother or aunt or passionate pet owner. We'll figure out which one she actually is together in episode five of the Movie Marks.

We here at Movie Marks aren't 100% sure how to describe this week's film. This direct to VHS children's film slowly unravels into a tale of madness that grips not just a family but the entire community. It becomes so insane that it only makes sense that living legend - and equally crazy - Terry Funk is part of what is about to be your new favorite movie. We recommend the listener indulges in their vice of choice because it only enhances the viewing experience that is Mom, Can I Keep Her?

On this week's episode of the Movie Marks, we explore the holiday classic Santa’s Slay. Goldberg has a lot in common with Santa Claus: They both show up once a year and dominate hours of your life for a lackluster payoff. Join us as we break down each and every merry murder on episode three.

Johnny Impact, Johnny Mundo, Johnny Nitro, and John Morrison are just a few of the names used by today's superstar. But the only name we care about is Boone. We take a trip south of the border for bounty hunting action. Or, at least, what action movies think bounty hunting is all about. Along the way, we learn about the biggest bounty of all....friendship.

Here it is: Episode one of the Movie Marks podcast. There's no better place to start than at the intersection of rock and wrestling. This movie is bursting at the seams with warriors of the ring so come for Roddy Piper, but stay for a pointless Ric Flair cameo.

Get to know the Movie Marks before episode one drops January 27.