Stop People Pleasing

Get your free taster of the Stop people Pleasing Reset programme here:  https://www.theshiftinside.com/tryreset/ How would you like to go from being ruled by your limiting beliefs to not only replacing them, but have a focus on the future and the life that you want to create?  How would you like to replace all the time you spend trying to fit in, but feeling like an outsider and resenting people for not accepting you? No.  And how about breaking the unhelpful invisible contracts you've had with others? Contracts that allowed them to walk all over you.  How would you like to finally honour your true nature? No matter what other people think.  How would you like to set stronger boundaries without feeling that it has to be going to war with other people?  What about neutralizing self sabotage, the self sabotage that says you're not allowed to stand up for yourself?  And getting rid of imposter syndrome and managing overwhelm.  Well, all this is available to you in the Stop People Pleasing Reset.  This is an online self study course that you just take at your own pace.  It's out now, but I have a special offer for you if you're listening  to this now at the end of June or beginning of July 2024.  I am offering a maximum of eight people the chance to  join me on two 90 minute Zoom calls.  Sun 21st July  at 8am UK, repeated at 8pm UK And Saturday 10th August at 8am UK, repeated at 8pm UK And what I'm going to do in these sessions is help you explore  your fear of boundary setting using two processes not covered in the online programme.  Here's The Deal  You  get the course and I want you to go through three modules.  - about half an hour to 40 minutes of video content each.  Give me full honest feedback and I will take you through these two powerful processes. Free Taster: https://www.theshiftinside.com/tryreset/ Details of the full programme: https://www.theshiftinside.com/thereset/

Calling all those who are sick of their inner critic getting nasty whenever you stand up for yourself. I am thinking of putting together a small group event.  Interested? Email me info@theshiftinside.com  with a quick message to say you are interested. What The Event Is About This would be 2 x 2 hour workalong sessions in a small group, led by me, where you would create a solid plan for managing difficult conversations without feeling guilty about standing up for yourself. I plan to cover changing the narrative you have about this (from fearful to intrepid), what words to say, and how to deal with any negative reactions.  Is this something that interests you?  If so, please email me info@theshiftinside.com and if there's enough demand I'll put something together in the next few weeks.  Cheers now harriet Morris

Be sociable…on your terms. Parties: most empaths and highly sensitive people have a biiiiiig problem with them, due to massive sensory overload. The noise. The crowds. The music.  Waaaay toooo muuuuch. But never fear, for Harriet is here!  Why should you have to carry all the overwhelm of the party, then reach a point where you can no longer stand it and just walk out, taking a boatload of guilt that doesn't belong to you? There is a better way, which I describe in this episode. Harriet Morris  Email info (at) theshiftinside dot com

Send me your most annoying narc phrases to decode! Email info (at) theshiftinside dot com The Stop People Pleasing Podcast is back :) Standing up to narcissistic behaviour starts with getting some distance…and what better way to do that than to decode the same old same old nonsense you've heard a million times before.  In this episode, I give you three translations of things that narcissists commonly say. Warning! The sarcasm level goes through the roof. My hope is that you will feel lighter and maybe even chuckle. What better way to stand up to these self-centred ego merchants than with a bit of humour

A short episode on managing fear of rejection - in real time! Most people will tell you to not worry about reaching out to new people - but I explain why - for recovering people pleasers - this is rubbish advice…and what to replace it with. https://www.theshiftinside.com/rum-what-is-cavebrain/ Harriet Morris Info (at) theshiftinside.com

Have you ever thought that a powerful and liberating reframe to stop people pleasing is to focus on protecting your energy? You defocus on conflict and trying to change other people, and pivot to how you are showing up. This is completely independent of others' ideas and how much - or little- they agree or understand the new stopped people pleasing you. Sound good?  In this episode I explore three very different ways to do this. My email address is info {at} theshiftinside.com - use the subject line PROTECT Check out The Motivational Fasting podcast.

https://www.theshiftinside.com/launchpad/ has all the details about the September Stop People Pleasing group coaching Launchpad. Today I talk about a question I used to ask myself when I was mired in people pleasing, and give you a MUCH better alternative. Find out what it is in this minisode. Doors close for the launchpad at 9.30pm UK time tonight 31st August.

Heads up! https://www.theshiftinside.com/launchpad/ Places are now open for the September group coaching programme. Today we discuss empath confidence. Many pieces of advice around improving your sense of self are written by , and for, non empaths...and are likely yo leave you feeling inadequate. The truth is that you need tailor-made ideas for dealing with a world that is not set up for you. I give you some ideas for developing this skill.   Launchpad Group Coaching Programme Find out more at https://www.theshiftinside.com/launchpad/ In only 30 days, go from putting everyone else's needs before your own to honouring and standing up for yourself - without it being a struggle. What You Will Learn: *How to reduce overwhelm *Rock solid empath confidence *How to stop wasting your energy living in reaction *Change how you show up with family and friends *How to say no to people without fear of conflict *How change the silent agreements you have with people, often without them even noticing! *Transform how you see yourself in a month *Share your fears in the welcoming environment of the group, gain inspiration from their wins - and have your achievements recognised *Work out if people around you are Well Meaning Energy Drainers https://www.stoppeoplepleasingshow.com/

https://www.theshiftinside.com/launchpad/ has all the details of September's Stop People Pleasing launchpad group coaching programme. Starts Wed 1st :) Today a short story called The Lie, with a twist in the tale. You might not like the twist, but if you want to stop people's good intentions draining the life out of you, listen up!  Harriet Morris  info (at) theshiftinside.com

Heads up! https://www.theshiftinside.com/launchpad/ Places are now open for the September group coaching programme. Episode #33 - The Empath Drama Triangle In this fourth part of this series on the key skills to stop people pleasing, we look at what the drama triangle is , and dive into its variant that every empath must learn about.   Launchpad Group Coaching Programme Find out more at https://www.theshiftinside.com/launchpad/ In only 30 days, go from putting everyone else's needs before your own to honouring and standing up for yourself - without it being a struggle. What You Will Learn: *How to reduce overwhelm *Rock solid empath confidence *How to stop wasting your energy living in reaction *Change how you show up with family and friends *How to say no to people without fear of conflict *How change the silent agreements you have with people, often without them even noticing! *Transform how you see yourself in a month *Share your fears in the welcoming environment of the group, gain inspiration from their wins - and have your achievements recognised *Work out if people around you are Well Meaning Energy Drainers https://www.stoppeoplepleasingshow.com/

Today in installment #3 of our series on developing the key skills for stopping people pleasing, we discuss Askholes, and especially emotional ones. What are they? And why does recognising them matter in this area of life? All is revealed today. Harriet Morris  Ex People Pleaser in Chief Email: info (at) theshiftinside dot com

Today is the second part of this week's series on the key skills of stopping people pleasing.  Today I reframe oversensitivity as hyperreactivity and explain why it is a much more useful and kind way to think about this issue. Harriet Morris info {at} theshiftinside.com https://www.stoppeoplepleasingshow.com/  

This is an empath's dilemma, set in an escape room. The question is: What would you do? This is the first of a series of minisodes coming to you daily this week around the key skills needed to stop people pleasing. Answer coming to you tomorrow! Harriet Morris https://www.stoppeoplepleasingshow.com/ Contact me: info (at) theshiftinside.com

Go to https://yourquiz.scoreapp.com/ to do the quiz: Are you ready to stop people pleasing? Today's episode is a look at Paul Thomas Anderson's 2017 film Phantom Thread through the lens of stopping people pleasing. WARNING: SPOILER ALERT! I talk about the lessons, as well as the ANTI lessons for you. This will be an especially important episode if you have ever got caught up in a relationship where there was a power imbalance. For example: How easy it is to fall under the spell of a brilliant wo/man What the 1950s setting is a metaphor of An alternative to having power over someone else The meaning of Alma and Cyril as lessons and anti lessons Where boundary setting comes into all this For more info on coaching go to https://www.theshiftinside.com/stop/ Email me: info (at) theshiftinside dot com

https://yourquiz.scoreapp.com/ is your Transformation Quiz to help you determine if you are actually ready to stop people pleasing. FILM OF THE WEEK …is The Hudsucker Proxy, a total joy of a film that will put a spring in your step. Are You Ready To Stop People Pleasing? Today I talk about the difference between wanting to stop people pleasing and actually being ready. I give you a thought-provoking question to give you some clarity here. Don't forget to take the quiz here: https://yourquiz.scoreapp.com/   Next episode will be a spoiler-tastic review the film Phantom Thread. Here's the trailer: https://youtu.be/xNsiQMeSvMk You can watch it on Iplayer if you are in the UK.

Better than I think at WHAT, Harriet??? All will be revealed There is still time to get access to the Boundary Setting 101 week videos -  completely free Watch masterclass 1 now:  https://www.theshiftinside.com/freed/ Film of The Week: The Half Of It, directed by Alice Wu. 3 reasons I love this film: #1 It disrupts the rom-com cliches you will be used to #2 Everyone is basically decent #3 It pokes fun at narcissism   

https://www.theshiftinside.com/freed/ - yes it's Boundary Setting 101 Week soon! Today is a follow on from the last episode on overwhelm which you can listen to at https://stoppeoplepleasingshow.com/24-how-to-stop-feeling-overwhelmed The key to today's teaching is to accept the invitation inherent in overwhelm. I discuss what that could be.   QUOTE OF THE WEEK Comes from The Language of Emotions by Karla Mclaren   MORE ABOUT BOUNDARY SETTING 101 WEEK Q: WHAT IS IT? A: Three free masterclasses to help you start setting empowering boundaries, even if you feel like you are no good at this skill. You can attend on Zoom or get the videos in your inbox.   Q; WHAT'S IN THE MASTERCLASSES? Masterclass 1 ~ Turn Down The Volume on Your Fear of Setting Boundaries Discover why you are already better than you think at boundary setting, and learn all about your fear centre. Something akin to a blind and stubborn bouncer living inside your head, your fear centre is actually trying to protect you by resisting setting boundaries. By the end of this session, you will understand how you have more influence over this part of your mind than you think.   Masterclass 2 ~ Setting Your First Empowering Boundary Learn what the crucial difference is between reactive and empowering boundary setting. In this liberating masterclass, I take all the pressure off this challenge in two important ways that allow you to step into your power.   Masterclass 3 ~ From Struggle To Adventure How to reframe this skill so that it excites you instead of fills you with dread. Step two foot to the side of the nonsense your inner critic tells you as we uses two powerful and inspirational reframes that will make you want to stretch your comfort zone.   Q: HOW DO I ACCESS THE MASTERCLASSES? Make sure you sign up https://www.theshiftinside.com/freed/ You can attend on Zoom or get the videos in your inbox.      

Ever felt so weighed down by everything in your life that you fantasised about breaking your leg, just to give yourself some time out of life? Well, I have. I talk about a more constructive way of lightening your load… Today is the first part of two episodes where I explain three ways to stop feeling so overwhelmed. Overwhelm is a very common side effect of people pleasing – but guess what? You need to create some mental and emotional space to start showing up differently – and that means dealing with overwhelm.   POWER MOVE OF THE WEEK …sounds so boring that I am not going to tell you what it is, but is so powerful that you won't want to miss it once I explain why it is so awesome. Trust me on this!   TWO STRATEGIES TO STOP FEELING SO OVERWHELMED #1 Filter very carefully what media you expose yourself to. This is a very personal thing. Also, you may want to think about how you consume news for example. Print is easier to deal with than moving images. Not all violent media deserves a blanket ban from me. I really got a lot out of Fight Club for example. Certain clients love thrillers – and so do I – if I have vetted them.   #2 Overwhelm Circuit Breakers These are actions you can take to reduce overwhelm, whatever the root cause of your stress. Listen for examples of this, plus some uncommon wisdom about managing the stress hormone cortisol   RESOURCES Boundary setting 101 Week https://www.theshiftinside.com/freed/ Cavebrain episode https://stoppeoplepleasingshow.com/17-what-is-cavebrain-and-why-it-matters-in-stopping-pleasing One-to-one empath coaching: https://www.theshiftinside.com/stop/  

I am hosting an informal coffee chat on Zoom tomorrow Wednesday 28th April. It will last about 45 minutes. No cost. No need to register - just turn up. Bring your favourite beverage! When is it? Because of the different time zones of my listeners, I'll be doing this twice - at 11am UK time then again at 8pm UK time You can check the time in your own time zone here https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html   Here are the links and passcodes 11AM CHAT https://us02web.zoom.us/j/88918134729 Passcode 4321   8PM CHAT https://us02web.zoom.us/j/87373610264 Passcode 4321   Why Do This? Because it is an opportunity to ask me any questions or discuss anything you hear on the podcast Because I really enjoy meeting my listeners and getting to know more about what they want. I am obsessed with quality podcasting, so the better episodes I can produce, the happier I am :) Because I often share about experiences that I would not talk about publicly Because it will probably be really fun! Because you never know what you might learn or think of as a result Because I think it is is so important for us empaths to get together in a way that is super empowering

Google advantages of being an empath and you will get a laundry list of benefits: intuition, ability to connect, an understanding of animals and so forth. In today's episode, I want to look at some lesser known positives which may get you thinking more deeply about this topic.   HEADS UP: LET'S DO COFFEE I am hosting two coffee chats on Zoom next Wednesday 28th April at 11am and 8pm UK time. Check your own time zone. No need to book, just turn up with your favourite beverage. You can get the link if you join the Stop people Pleasing Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/stoppeoplepleasingclan Or you will get an email if you previously attended a Zoom with me or have downloaded my free Lifesaver 10 phrasebook for empaths. Get yours here https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/   Interview of The Week Today's interview of the week comes from the brilliant Comedian's Comedian podcast and features Dave Gorman. I talk about how Dave shares about the comedic power of vulnerability on stage https://www.comedianscomedian.com/161-dave-gorman-live-at-soho-theatre/   I also talk about belonging and give it a slant that I don't think you will have been aware of.   RESOURCES More details about one-to-one coaching: https://www.theshiftinside.com/stop/ Episode 2: What Is A Rebel Empath? https://stoppeoplepleasingshow.com/02-what-is-a-rebel-queen-empath   Episode 17 on Cavebrain https://stoppeoplepleasingshow.com/17-what-is-cavebrain-and-why-it-matters-in-stopping-pleasing Email me : info [at] theshiftinside dot com

HEADS UP! - BOUNDARIES COURSE COMING I am in the process of creating a course on setting better boundaries. At the moment I want your feedback. Here are the problems that I see block empaths from creating boundaries. Do these resonate with you? Give me your feedback by emailing me info {at} theshiftinside.com or join the SPP Facebook group (link below) #1 I really wish I could stand up for myself, but I don't know how   #2 It would be difficult to set boundaries with X, because s/he has a hard life and they really need me. How could I do that to them?    #3 Setting boundaries equals creating massive conflict, which scares me   #4 I am resentful that people do not give me the time and attention I give them - why should I have to set a boundary?    #5 I feel too overwhelmed to do this work, and end up stuck giving too much energy away. It's catch 22.   #6 I am so hurt by how narcissists and energy vampires treat me, it's kind of paralysing. Catch 22 - nothing changes.   #7 I can't deal with the negative comeback I would get if I did set boundaries.   ...................................   Lauren Amman Interview In this interview, coach and ex-people pleaser Lauren Ammon shares about *How her entire previous career – HR - was born out of people pleasing *How her empath nature led to overwork *How she changed to living life on her own terms *Taking responsibility for the way she was showing up with others *Her fears about changing careers   RESOURCES Connect with Lauren Ammon https://www.laurenammon.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurenammon/   Join The Stop People Pleasing Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/stoppeoplepleasingtribe   Lifesaver 10 download https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/   Email Info @theshiftinside.com    

Yes, you heard that right! You can stop people pleasing by watching TV. Well, almost... Find out how you can use your favourite films and documentaries to lay the groundwork for standing up for yourself as an empath or highly sensitive person. This is a continuation of the previous episode on Silent Agreements, but I give a quick recap on what that phrase means, so it will make sense even if you have not listened last week. Today I'm going to help you become a detective to start to become more aware of the dynamics of other people's relationships in films, documentaries and television shows. This in turn will help you be more objective and discerning as regards your OWN relationships. A very powerful anti-people pleasing skill building exercise and all through watching TV! I look at two very different pieces of television to do this.   RESOURCES Find out more about coaching with Harriet https://www.theshiftinside.com/stop/   Silent Agreements episode https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/rebelqueenempath/SPP19SilentAgreements.mp3   Join the Stop people Pleasing facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/stoppeoplepleasingwithharriet The Art of Misdirection TED talk https://www.ted.com/talks/apollo_robbins_the_art_of_misdirection   Free Solo trailer https://youtu.be/urRVZ4SW7WU Email Harriet: info @ theshiftinside.com

Get your free Lifesaver 10 download here https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/   Book Of The Week …is Masquerade by Kit Williams You can see the entire book online at http://bunnyears.net/kitwilliams/   Silent Agreements Imagine that every relationship (and I use that in the most general sense) is based on an agreement. Because most of our interactions are not made concrete via a contract, we enter into silent agreements with everyone we interact with. Find out how this happens and listen to two stories of these agreements I was unwittingly in for a certain time in the past. I give you two questions that you can ask yourself to navigate the silent agreements you may have set up.   RESOURCES Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/stoppeoplepleasingwithharriet Lifesaver 10 download https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/ Hear all the episodes at www.stoppeoplepleasingshow.com Email: info {at] theshiftinside.com

This is an extract from an episode of a side project podcast of mine called Harry potter Saved My Life. It talks about how you can use this character from the Harry Potter series to help stand up to users and stop people pleasing.   Resources The Stop People Pleasing facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/stoppeoplepleasingwithharriet Listen to all of the Harry Potter Saved My Life podcast episodes  Email me : info {at} theshiftinside.com Listen to all of the Stop People Pleasing podcast episodes

Think you are 100% at fault when you lack the courage to stand up to that user parading as your friend? Think again. Today I want to introduce you to a very important key to understanding why people pleasing is so hard to stop doing. Meet your Cavebrain. The great news is that once you understand Cavebrain, you can learn how to influence it   Film of The Week Is Lars and The Real Girl, starring Ryan Gosling https://youtu.be/XNcs9DrKYRU   Cavebrain This ancient part of your brain is in charge of fight or flight. It also worries about if others accept you. Cavebrain is always asking two questions: #1 Am I in immediate danger? #2 Does the tribe accept me? Unfortunately, it is very good at misinterpreting things and that is where many people pleasing issues start. Find out more in this episode.   RESOURCES Lifesaver 10 PDF https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/ Email: info {at} theshiftinside.com  

Social media can be overwhelming - but let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater. If managed correctly, it can actually enhance your connections with others. Today I talk with my friend and fellow empath Trista Ainsworth about the amazing turnaround she experienced in 2020. She went from overwhelmed to being able to powerfully serve her clients and feel more protected. Professional organiser Trista shares the practical steps she took to reclaim her life from social media that you too can benefit from without cutting yourself off from the world. RESOURCES Connect with Trista and find out more about her decluttering club here https://expansive.me/joy   Join The Stop People Pleasing Facebook group here https://www.facebook.com/groups/498527804436886   Get your free download: Lifesaver 10 here https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/   Invest in changing the world with KIVA https://www.kiva.org/

Newsflash! Longer form weekly episodes return next week :) In this minisode, I tell you about a great new word that will empower you when navigating the world of people who can so easily take advantage of you. No more! I am also starting a new section called A Good Read or Good Watch. Today I talk about Matt Haig's The Midnight Library Get your free download Lifesaver 10 - a phrase book to stop people pleasing at https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/ Email me at  info {at} theshiftinside.com   Cheers Harriet Morris

Remember the old hit Smoke gets In Your Eyes? This story I tell you today is a rebuff to these sorts of tired old romantic cliches of pop. A story about the scales falling from my eyes and the lyric from that song Something inside cannot be denied takes on a completely new meaning. Points to think about when the scales fall from your eyes: #1 Don't waste time feeling stupid in retrospect. At least you can see the truth now. #2 Think about how you can show up strong when you see them again (there is a specific strategy to this) #3 Forget trying to erase or solve the pain of the situation/reaslisation, and focus instead on building resilience.   Email me: info {at} theshiftinside.com

https://www.theshiftinside.com/feb-masterclass/ Today I share a story about a client who managed to reframe a situation and manage her hurt feelings. Register for my free masterclass: How To Stop feeling So Hurt next Wed 10 February Register here: https://www.theshiftinside.com/feb-masterclass/ Is it possible to reframe difficult situations so that you can reduce feelings of hurt and resentment? This masterclass will offer you a practical way to do exactly that. All you need is a pen and paper! I will share a real life example of one of my clients and how I helped her not only feel less hurt about a situation, but more empowered. I am a highly sensitive person, and so this has been tailored to help you work from A (“Why is this so damn hard? How could they do that to me?”) to B (“I can manage this. I am more resilient than I thought”). Please feel free to bring an example to the session of a difficult situation that left you feeling rejected and resentful. I will also introduce you to The Spiderman Flip. Don't worry...No scaling of buildings required!   email info {at] the shiftinside.com

In today's podcast, I dive into a topic I bet many people  have never even considered: can you challenge your own beliefs? If you had more empowering beliefs, would that change your behaviour around bullies and so on? Also I have a TV show recommendation I think you will find interesting RESOURCES Fate: The Winx Saga is on Netflix Stop People Pleasing Facebook group is at https://www.facebook.com/groups/498527804436886 Find me on Instagram @stopeoplepleasing Get your free Lifesaver 10 guide with 10 phrases to help you stand up  to bullies https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/ The full Evil Exit article by Steve Pavlina is here https://stevepavlina.com/blog/2014/09/the-evil-exit/ Find more episodes at: http://www.stoppeoplepleasingshow.com/ Contact Harriet : info@ theshiftinside. com  

This is a great lockdown stress hack to help you get through whatever restrictions are in force wherever you live. This is how it works. You need one hour – or 30 min if not. IF YOU HAVE ONE HOUR Split the time up as follows 10 min movement 20 min environment 10 min movement again 20 min reward In this episode, I go into details about what these categories can be, but in a nutshell: MOVEMENT – Whatever movement you can do in 10 min that makes you feel better ENVIRONMENT -What will have the maximum impact on making your home less stressful? Is it tidying your kitchen, filing, mopping the floor, mowing the lawn? In the episode I talk about the importance of the timer.   IF YOU HAVE ONLY 30 MINS Just split the time up as you see fit. I suggest 10 min  movement 10 min environment 10   min reward   Free Guide Get your free Lifesaver 10 guide with key phrases to manage bullies and stand up for yourself in a classy and elegant way. https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/    

How many people have told you that mindset is the key to changing your behaviour, and indeed life? While  there is a lot of truth in this, I contend in this episode that the opposite is a more powerful way to make  things better for yourself - especially if standing up to others is an issue for you. Yes, I am talking about your actions changing your mindset, your beliefs and your life. Could actions be more powerful than mindset? In this episode: *Teardown of why belief change is limited – it is only ever useful as a description. It is not a prescription, which unfortunately is what is being sold as. Find out what I mean by this. *A straightforward example of actions changing beliefs about other people. *The process of using actions to change your concept of yourself, using the example of not being so available for people you wish to distance yourself from.   RESOURCES Lifesaver 10 phrase book: https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/ Join the Stop People Pleasing Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/498527804436886

PODFLASH! (a podcast newsflash…err Ok no…!) This show is changing its name to Stop People Pleasing within the coming week. If you are subscribed, the name and podcast art will automatically change. You  don't need to do anything. In this short episode to welcome in 2021, I talk about 2 things I want for you in 2021 to help you start to live life on your terms at last. Next episode will be a full length one out on or before Tuesday 12th January. Join the Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/498527804436886 email: info (at) theshiftinside . com

It's time to own our abnormality! In today's show, I want to fight the oft-repeated phrase I just want to be normal. Whether they are talking about their eating, or their personality, I believe that there is no normal. Let's explore this. This is a replay of episode 22 of my other podcast, The Eating Coach. Although the focus is is on food, I believe there is a lot of useful information here. Being out of control can prompt a desire to be "normal". However, it has such wildly differing definitions throughout history and across the globe today. This word is nothing but the agreed upon beliefs and traditions of the people around us.  It really is an expression of a different need that all empaths will relate to. In this episode, I divide this concept into two separate parts. I explain what these are, as well as: *The phrase that means two completely different things, depending on how you say it *The new normal you really do not want to be a part of *How normal equals mediocrity   RESOURCES https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/ Hear more episodes of The Eating Coach by searching for it in your podcast app, or visit https://www.theshiftinside.com/podcast/ The Buzzfeed article on what is normal around the world and throughout history: https://www.buzzfeed.com/hgrant/8-jaw-dropping-traditions-from-around-the-world?utm_term=.gr84oOyXr#.spW0YJRgl SRINI PILLAY's Book https://drsrinipillay.com/resource/life-unlocked-7-revolutionary-lessons-overcome-fear/

This episode has two rather unexpected power moves for how to deal with energy vampires and manipulators. We are going to look at neutralising narcissism. If you are looking for a quick top ten tips sort of episode, then this will disappoint you. If, however, you want a strong foundation on which to build the confidence to stand up to manipulators and passive aggressive ego merchants (to name but a few types), you've come to the right place.   RESOURCES Free phrase book to deal with narcissistic behaviour https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/ Articles mentioned: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/acquainted-the-night/201912/sorry-your-ex-probably-isnt-narcissist   https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2011-jan-06-la-oe-daum-narcissism-20110106-story.html   https://theconversation.com/narcissists-why-we-need-to-take-better-care-of-them-126528 email info (at) theshiftinside dot com

This episode gives you two ways to not only spot a narcissist, but deal with them.  Let's go beyond the quick descriptions such as 'grandiose' and 'belittles others' to a really useful filter to get past the excuses that  you as an empath or HSP have made for these people before. What Is A Narcissist? We are going to keep the definition to the very short ‘self-absorption' for this episode, because this topic is so complex. What seems at first glance to be synonymous with the personality of the 45th president of The United States is actually a multi-faceted concept. You would never call Donald Trump vulnerable, yet there is such a thing as a vulnerable narcissist for example.   Recognising A Narcissist Strategy #1 Become Aware of Narcissist PR PR stands for public relations, and is a perfectly ethical part of any business marketing strategy. What is not ethical, however, is PR that is out of alignment with the way that the company operates. Think of an environmentally irresponsible firm that funds an orphanage in the area that it is stripping bare, merely as an exercise in damage limitation. What is the narcissist equivalent? Passive aggression, manipulation, put downs – any attempt to elevate their sense of self at your expense. This is then followed by an equally strategic show of gratitude, praise, selflessness and so on – but minus an apology. It is the lack of contrition, of vulnerability that shows you that this is PR and not a genuine apology. Another sign of PR – a return to the first stage of manipulation and put downs. Recognising narcissist PR for what it  is is not a panacea – but you get better laying the foundations for boundary setting.   Spotting A Narcissist Technique #2  The 10-Minute Rule This is an excellent filter to save yourself a  LOT of future energy drain and stress. Nip any unwanted connections with strangers in the bud within 10 minutes.   Resources The Empath Phrasebook – Lifesaver 10 is at https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/ Connect with Harriet Instagram: @rebelqueenempath Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/498527804436886 Email info (at) theshiftinside dot com

Whether you are self-isolating or in semi quarantine,  as an empath there is always something you can do to protect your energy and prevent overwhelm at this time of COVID uncertainty. In this week's episode, I give three practical lessons I learnt from last lockdown that I hope will help you now.   LESSON #1 Identify your overwhelm triggers Discover why you need to be careful with the term ‘triggers'. A good example of one of my overwhelm triggers is people catastrophising about the future with zero evidence to back up their claims. Find out what they are getting out of this seemingly illogical but very common habit, and what you can actually do about this…without losing all your friends!   LESSON #2 The 30 Minute Experiment Listen and find out what this is….   LESSON #3 Use Social Media Wisely     RESOURCES Join the RQE Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/498527804436886 You can find Trista Ainsworth at https://expansive.me/joy Get your empath phrase book to deal with difficult people at  https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/ The Insider Optical illusions article https://www.insider.com/best-optical-illusions-photos-2017-10 Email me: info (at) theshiftinside.com

Get your Lifesaver 10 phrases to deal with energy vampires here: https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/ In today's episode, I shine a light on energy vampires – those people who draw energy from  draining us of ours. My definition is: someone who, whether they know it or not, is invested in behaving in a way that is potentially parasitical to others. I discuss when this is a useful term, and when it is not…and even if we should replace the phrase with a different one altogether. I talk about… When energy vampires' version of generosity/pleasantness etc is just PR to take you off your guard. What the parasite radar is How this term gives the person you are referring to far too much power   Email me: info (at) theshiftinside.com RESOURCES Get your Lifesaver 10 phrases to deal with energy vampires here:https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/ Dodging Energy Vampires is by Christiane Northrup https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/how-spot-deal-energy-vampire-ncna896251 https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/energy-vampires

Starring Matt Damon, Robin Williams and...The Imbalance of Understanding.  Get you free Lifesaver 10 download - 10 phrases to help  you stand up to others without conflict https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/ In this episode, I give you some ideas for learning to manage the world as an empath or highly sensitive person. It's about not letting self pity or resentment get you down. No tough love guaranteed! We are going to come at this from a sideways angle. I give an example of how your past, when viewed through the lens of realising you are an empath, can become dangerously fertile ground for hosting an endless pity party in your head. I explain what The Imbalance of Understanding is I give you some  ways to start leveraging what you have got.  

This short episode focuses on a real life situation that I as an empath had to deal with this summer. Sometimes, when we are looking the other way, we find ourselves putting others' needs before our own. Listen to this story and ask yourself: What would I do? Get your free Lifesaver 10 list of phrases you can use in tricky situations https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/  

Get your free Lifesaver 10 list of phrases you can use in tricky situations https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/ How does a Rebel Empath differ from her or his less empowered sibling, the Sorry Empath? The essence of this comes down to being sorry vs unsorry in how you live your life. Unsorry is not about being passive aggressive and trying to get the world to make amends for past hurts. No, it  is all about showing up unapologetically and being Ok with  your beautifully imperfect self. It means owning who you are. Being unapologetic about your empath nature and allowing yourself to navigate life as you.  That would be a great description of The RebelQueen Empath. With that said, we look at the seven main differences between The Sorry Empath and The RebelQueenUnsorry Empath.   Some highlights….   #1  Both prize connection, but whereas SE has a lack of discernment, UE will not tolerate connection at her or his own expense.   #3 The sorry empath is an emotional sponge and the unsorry empathy  uses porous shielding to avoid this predicament.   #4 The disempowered, sorry empath tries in vain to apply cookie generalised advice to her own extremely unique situation. What does the RebelQueen empath do instead? Find out here.   #5 …is all about how the Unsorry RebelQueen deals differently with her emotions from her sorry counterpart.   Find out what all  seven differences are  

Welcome, my Rebel Queens and Kings! This podcast is your exit visa from people pleasing, from letting others lean on you 24/7, from the overwhelm of being an empath and a highly sensitive person. It's time to stop apologising for your very existence.   I'm Harriet Morris. I'm a coach and an empath. Like you, I've given away far too much of myself for too little in return.  I've let energy vampires suck the life out if me. I too have felt angry AND powerless. I've been swamped by emotions that knocked me off balance and ruined my day.   The good news is that I turned things round for myself - and so can you.    Welcome to your toolkit for learning to say no with ease, to standing up to energy vampires and narcissists - all this, without shutting out the world.   In this podcast I want to share with you the ideas that I have developed out of necessity and tried and tested on myself and clients.    It's time to hand in your resignation as the carrier of other people's emotional baggage. It's time to accept your empath nature and honour your needs. Time to use your energy to make the most of your intuition, the ability to connect to others and many other good qualities.   You do all this - you can finally relax.   Being a RebelQueen Empath is not about getting your own back on the world. It's not about walking all over other people in some kind of retribution for all the struggles you've been through. Rebel queens can still apologise when they mess up - the difference is that they stop apologising for who they are. So draw up a chair for your beautifully imperfect self. Are you sitting comfortably? Then it's time to start living. After all, your life is waiting - so what are you waiting for?