3BC (Three Black Chicks) powered by KUDZUKIAN

Are you cool with your ex? How cool? How ex is your ex? What are the rules? So many questions. Not sure that we have more answers or more opinions but we're gone talk about it anyway. And we can all agree that there must be boundaries. What do you consider proper protocol when it comes to old beaus and boos? Please enlighten!   

Joy, Clo and KC the Alchemist discuss the article on Good + Well that advises us to have daily orgasms. The article lists three (damn good) reasons why we all should. And of course, it doesn't have to be with a partner. At this point, we should know how to "self-gratify" yes? If not, put that on your to-do list stat! Listen up and get it in boos and baes!     

This episode is a tale of two kings - Young Dolph and the movie King Richard. Young Dolph meant a lot to Memphians. Joy, KC and Clo share their reactions to his murder and the latest details and talk about some of the good he has done in our city. Since 3BC and our network are anchored in Memphis, it only makes sense to bid Dolph a fond farewell. Then there's King Richard the movie that has shut the box office down, drawing rave reviews and critique from the pink p*ssy hat "feminists." The ladies share their thoughts on this King as well. But there is one universal truth that cannot be denied - Will Smith and Aunjanue Ellis DID THAT!    

Ooh wee that's a head tilt right there. Full disclosure, this is also an Insecure inspired conversation. When Molly had to fill out that questionnaire on the dating app, the flashback was all too real. What do you think? What would your exes say? Have you ever tried to answer this question? It's a helluva trip. Joy, KC and Clo gave it a shot. Listen up to hear what they came up with. 

This movie was so blackety-black-black! Joy, Clo and KC the Alchemist are talking about their favorite scenes and characters, the d*%ktasticness of it all, the clear and evident P Power on display and why y'all need to let Zazie Beats alone. And there's more. Just pull up and let's discuss.   

We couldn't not talk about this. Summer Walker set the whole of these interwebs on fire. Suffice it to say that many-a single woman already has more than a passing curiosity - and downright fascination - with what exactly Ciara did to turn her life around. Some of us are having a serious chit chat with Black Jesus -- God of Ciara, Tamron and Cassie -- about what exactly we need to ready ourselves for Prince Charming. He may not be Russell Wilson but can he be Russell-like? A respective Russell if you will, the version that works for you and your life.  Joy, Clo and KC talk break down this prayer and talk about God, getting right and due time.

Have you ever cried during sex? Tears of joy? Pain? Trauma or sadness spontaneously bubbling up to the surface?  The girls talk about the various emotions they've experienced and the reasoning behind them. And....what happens...ahem..." in the moment." (Hint: some of us are screamers. HA.) Worth a listen. Do y'all connect with any of this? What are your funny or emotional stories? Listen up then hit us up!    

Well, Insecure is coming to an end with this season. And we're all watching as intently as we were on Day 1. And we're still vacillating between Team Lawrence and Team Nathan. Joy, Clo and KC the Alchemist weigh in on this, Issa's vulnerability and raw truth about her entrepreneurship journey, Molly's vulnerability and close look at herself and Kelly's very real, very powerful feelings of invisibility. Pull up and let's chat. 

Joy, KC the Alchemist and Clo delve into this age-old, tired trope of the "masculine" Black woman. We are STILL having this conversation, sometimes without saying a word, in the year of our Lord and Savior, Black Jesus 2021. Black women are also socialized, for the most part, to get a job not a husband. And to be able to provide for ourselves. But we get called masculine or too hard if we're too independent.  Then conversely, we get called needy or gold diggers if the expectations of a man are too high. Listen, we may not need a man but most of us want a man in our lives. We may or may not need help with the lift, but it sure would be nice! Let's keep pulling this thread. Men, what's up?  Add your two pennies as well.    

There was a sickening thing that happened on the SEPTA, which is the Philly subway system. A sis was raped as multiple onlookers filmed it. WTEF?! Are y'all this thirsty for likes? Is World Star more important than this sista's safety? What have we devolved into as a society and community? This must be talked about. 

Actually, Joy, KC and Clo are not singing from the same hymnal on this one. They get into the mechanics of Dave Chappelle's latest Netflix installment, The Closer. Was he out of order or was he spot on? Is he transphobic for real or making a point? There's some major feels and strong opinions. But let's talk about it. How do y'all feel?

Joy, KC the Alchemist and Clo wade into the murky, oft-troubled waters of the Alpha-Beta male debate. Is it situational? Does it become performative? Is ole girl on IG right? Does it boil down to a-holes and punks? So many questions so little time! 

The ladies are joined by their gay husbands Jeff and Raymond to talk about how they been so important in their lives, dating, what happens when someone has a romantic partner and more. So much more. There needs to be a part two. And of course #Pride month would not be right without the mention of Marsha P. Johnson who is, as Raymond says, the reason for the season.   

Tennis champ Naomi Osaka made headlines for bowing out of the French Open. She was honest about her crippling social anxiety and depression as well as the need for self-care in this moment. Predictably the trolls came out to play calling her insolent, petulant, etc. Equally as predictable, Joy, Clo and KC the Alchemist are ready. We don't play with self-care and we love our sistas that are positive and progressive. We all know that these folks would have more to say had she passed out on the court or melted down. Do you Naomi! We got your back, front and sides sis!  

Joy, Clo and KC the Alchemist can't seem to get on the same page on this one. There's a lone dissenter in the crew. Is it policing Black women or is it just country and tacky? Is it about respectability politics or just looking presentable, period? Is it a helmet of salvation? (Ha!! It was right there.) Let's discuss.    

There comes a time when every woman must hang up her vajine. Not in that sense because get it how you live till the you die sis! No, the question is when are you too old to f&$# for a buck? And what age is "old" by men's standards? At some point these transactions time out when as the men in power begin to seek kittens? But if this your game and you haven't snagged a whale by a certain age, how do you shore up? Some women have flipped it into multi-million dollar brands, CEO positions, executive producer credits and coins and so on. That's smart. And again, get it how you live for as long as you can. Joy, Clo and KC the Alchemist have a lot of conflicting feelings about this!   

Recently, details of Bill and Melinda Gates' divorce have been trickling through the mill. These details seem to allude to the fact that Bill loves the ladies. No different than the average man (and especially rich man) we guess but nonetheless our collective response was, this dude? Is he a playa, a predator or high net worth trash? Or a little of all of the above? And how should Melinda respond to all the "hey big head" DMs she's finna get? Joy, KC the Alchemist and Clo discuss.   

Ketrenia Upshaw joins the show live in the mix at Havana to talk about ladies who smoke cigars, what her recommendations are for beginners, what's poppin at Havana and just some good old-fashioned girl talk.

Big Sue talks about being a lady DJ, what she's boppin, her love of cigars, how she got started and the music industry. Sue is one of our favorite people!   

Many of loves us some manly menz. But there's some other stuff that comes with that. Joy, Clo and KC the Alchemist discuss what makes a man manly and how much “other stuff” they're willing to take alongside the manly man. It's not all rainbows and butterflies and Prince Charming. But are we talking raging chauvinist pig or pig-adjacent or a just a little dab of piggy? We love y'all nonetheless! And PS – emotions and expressiveness don't make you less of a man! But really ladies just know what you're asking for and stop trying to do the miracle makeover on that brotha. T'aint happenin. Especially at our age.   

Sis. SIS. NOT. EVERY. SINGLE. WOMAN. IS. DESPERATE. (hood clapping implied) Or thirsty or hella lonely. OR wants your husband in particular. You're also not superior (certainly not happier) because you're married. Most women I know don't want someone else's man or a piece of a man. We have to talk about this. Sistas, we have got to do better by each other. This is not the Hunger Games outchea. 

There was a tweet that said men want traditional values and traditional roles without having the money to maintain that. Ain't nobody trying live in the gutter with you sir! Marriage was very much so transactional back in the olden days. The suitor had to come with some coins but it was essentially a merger of assets. Joy, Clo and KC the Alchemist talk about what they want, expect and need in this respect. Is it traditional? Traditional remixed? Nontraditional? What are the caveats here? Pull on up and have a listen.

There has been a debate raging in the world of women's sports when it comes to whether or now trans women or even bio women like Caster Semenya with high testosterone levels should be allowed to compete against other women. Obviously we don't have any power but we do have some opinions.

All of this mess with Meghan Markle has us thinking about how Black women are living in this dual reality. We are both unseen and TOO seen. It's a tricky conundrum. It's not easy live in this skin boos and baes but we gone alright.

So Nick Cannon…messy boots! It's not just him and in fairness it's not just Black men. There's a bigger issue afoot. Why do women keep laying up with him? Why is he getting a pass because “he has money to take of all them?” And what's up with the double standard? Can women get a pass?

Recently Diddy took to social media to express his disdain for the way white corporations do business with black businesses. So…ummm….okay. Let's talk about his.

Love it or not, we're always rooting for everybody black. No apologies. This time it's for Cristina McCarter. She is the owner and operator of City Tasting Tours and her post-COVID pivot(s) City Tasting Box and Feast & Graze. We make no secret about the fact that we love food so this chat and tasting was awesome! Check her out! Feastandgraze.com and Citytastingbox.com.   

Big Beautiful Women. It's a whole thing and a whole movement. Najla gives us her perspective as our resident (very unapologetic) BBW.

We read an article on Pure Wow by this child psychologist on the things we shouldn't be saying to our daughters. We're calling BS on some of it! And of course, the lens through which we see and approach these things changes as black women. It's just different. Our babies face a different reality in this world. Najla joins KC and Joy alongside professional therapist Victoria Traylor, who provides us with her expert opinion.

First of all, we have to walk back our defense of the monumental F-Boi narcissist that is Derrick "Jaxn." Lawd. But never mind him. We are watching a mental health crisis live and in living color and it's no joking matter. (Even though some of the stuff she is saying is indeed ridiculously hilarious). This woman is not well. She's not OK. But beyond that lies a bigger issue, which is the failure of Christian counseling. The church has failed this woman by pushing struggle love narratives and Bible verses instead of pushing her to a licensed therapist with an actual MD and the ability to prescribe good drugs. Joy, KC the Alchemist, Clo (welcome back sista!) and Najla have lots to say on this one.           

So…ummm….yeah. Our bodies ain’t the same. Many of us are doing and looking great. But even so, 3 and 4 hour sessions are not realistic or necessary. And all of that pretzel-y stuff becomes more of a chore does it not? Is it just us? Whatchall think? You still got that a pretzel or two in ya? Joy and KC are joined by Najla,  to discuss.

It would all be so simple. But you’d rather make it hard….The whole situation with Andrew Gillum and the recent GQ article got us to thinking about radical honesty. Wouldn’t life be easier and relationships be so much healthier if we were radically honest? Just tell people what you really want not what you think they want to hear! We have opinions. Pull up a chair.  Victoria and Najla are on deck with KC the Alchemist and Joy.

Sugars. Honey loves. Boos and baes. What we not gone do in the year of our Lord 2021 and in our 40s and beyond is be in these streets not having the Big O. Or even the little o. The French don’t call it petit mort for nothing baby. There are women who still aren’t having orgasms! BUT people are quick to label it dysfunction. But if you pull the cover back (ba-dum-dum! Pun intended), it’s not medical. Pull up for this one and get your minds right ladies!   

Period! PEEEE-REEE-ATT! It is ok for Black women to want, buy, require and have nice things. Why are there so many conditions for us??? When the same prerequisites and subsequent judgement isn’t levied on other women. It’s only an issue because of the lack of parity. Joy, KC the Alchemist and guest host Najla air some thangs out!

More than one man has said something in this vein. WTF does this mean? Is this a slick insult?  Is this akin to people telling educated women to “date down?” It sure feels that way. But maybe we’re missing something. What say you? We ask our friend Uncle Royce to come through and enlighten. He always has some wise words to share. Najla is also on deck with Joy and KC the Alchemist.

Preaching at women, especially black women, about their “failings” and shortcomings is big business. Many-a dating televangelist and pseudo guru have floated to the top with this messaging – Steve Harvey, Kevin Samuels, Iyanla Vanzant, Dr. Phil. However, it’s mostly men telling us what we should do and absolving other men of any culpability, while at the same time exploiting (some) women’s trauma and using it as social/social media currency and comeuppance. Joy and KC the Alchemist are joined by Najla to break this down.

Heads up -- spoiler alerts. There's alot going on!  So much toxic codependence! This movie is a case study! It was not the love story we expected. The way these two decimate each other then come together then go scorched earth then come together...it's exhausting to watch. We unpack it with our guests Uncle Royce and Najla.

We're back with Ro! Pull up as we talk dating, younger men, being called ma'am, being 50+ and FAB and what's next. I mean 50-sum WHERE???

Le sigh. This should be obvious but clearly some of y'all need some direction and guidance. Let’s discuss. Check out the latest episodes of 3BC on the Kudzukian App and Kudzukian.com.

It seems to us that some folks have different ideas about loyalty. Loyalty seems to vary based on the type of relationship and along gender lines. Seems like loyalty is loyalty is loyalty. But not so. We all make these distinctions on some level, at least subconsciously.  

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, some of yall are losing your mf’n minds. We need you to stop stressing yourselves out. It’s just one day and it’s manufactured. NBD whatsoever. If 2020  and 2020 in a wig (aka 2021) has taught us – or should have – is not to sweat the small stuff and cherish your loved one EVERYDAY. Pull up and catch some of this good #forevermood music and let us talk you through your V-Day psychosis! Just know that You Are Enough. Period.  

This has to be one of the most horrible, incorrect and challenging double standards out here in these single streets. Men get crowned and lionized. Meanwhile women get accused of seeking an insta-family and gold digging, body shamed for their post baby bodies and generally regarded as less desirable EVEN BY MEN WITH KIDS. Since two of the three BC’s are mothers, we had to speak on this matter and set the record straight for what it’s worth. Yall gone cut this BS out!

In case you've forgotten, HIV is still a very real and present danger. Especially for the black community.  Black gay men still up a sizeable percentage of new infections and but guess who's next in line after the gay male population? Yes, us. Black women. In part 2, Joy goes one-on-one with Mia Cotton, VP of Client Health at Friends for Life, to talk about lube, risk reduction, condom negotiation and Black and Latina women.   

In case you've forgotten, HIV is still a very real and present danger. Especially for the black community.  Black gay men still make up a sizeable percentage of new infections, but guess who's next in line after the gay male population? Yes, us. Black women. In part 1, Joy, Clo and KC the Alchemist talk loose views toward condoms, relationship blinders and the basics like wrapping it up, among other things.

Sadly, more women than not have been in this situation, whether they are single, married or dating. It’s not what you want but things take a dark and aggressive turn then the fear response kicks in. You just...acquiesce...to keep from being harmed. You make a snap decision about whether you'd rather physical danger or emotional scars. This one gets personal as we share our own personal experiences.

Ms. Lori has reached the mountaintop with the pulling of, arguably, one of Hollywood’s most eligible bachelors, Michael BAE Jordan. Chiiiiile! Tongues have been wagging since they went public/IG official about a month ago. We MUST talk about how she has managed to pull off thinking like a man AND acting like a man. And subsequently disproved her dad’s whole (one-sided, problematic AF)  theory on dating. She (inadvertently?) kicked the soap box right from under him. Ha!              

Before we let January slip past us. We need to talk about what we ain’t gone do in 2021. We know right now it looks like 2021 told 2020 to hold my beer. But let’s just still be intentional about leaving some sh*t behind mkay? Know better, do better, be better! 

Lawd, Lawd, Lawd. Damn, Damn, Damn. This man done snatched our souls through the TV screen.  And Queen Shonda done snatched our wigs, edges AND wig glue. We are looking at Jamaican Black castor oil as we speak. We loved Bridgerton and that fine specimen Regé-Jean Page (honorable mention to Martins Imhangbe, the Duke’s FIIIONE boxer friend). But there were some very valid critiques. We talk about the good, bad and historically accurate in between swoons.  

So January 6th happened, which will forever be recognized as the day wypippo lost their whole minds and wypippo’ed all up and through the hallowed halls of the Capitol Building (notice the “O” not “A” people!) being real Jim Jones-ish. (Google Jim Jones + Guyana) We have thoughts of course. Starting with how we the black delegation abstain from this fight. Yall talk amongst yourselves on this cause our name is Bennett. And keep BLM outcha racist mouth. And most importantly, we all agree that this could have NEVA in the history of EVA have gone down in the M-Town.

Does anyone still have a list at this day and age and stage in life? Like, THE definitive list?  Is it still pie in the sky as a 40-plus grown up? Or is it just some stuff that’s reasonably non-negotiable? Joy, Clo and KC the Alchemist talk about what’s on their respective lists  and whether or not they have one at all.      

Is this a thing? We thought all guys were just happy to be up in there! Our guy pals Anthony and Big Sack come through to enlighten us. Make sure to check out the latest episodes of 3BC at Kudzukian.com, the Kudzukian App, or your favorite podcast provider.