Live From Love

You've probably heard it, or maybe even said it: “Our marriage is great… except for the sex.” On the surface, it sounds minor. The friendship is solid, the parenting is on point, and there's hardly any conflict. But a lackluster sex life isn't just a small crack in an otherwise strong foundation - it's often a sign of something deeper. In this episode, I'm explaining why sexual disconnect in a marriage is rarely just about sex. I'll talk about how issues like emotional distance, unresolved conflict, or even spiritual disconnection can quietly build up and show themselves in the bedroom. And more importantly, I'll offer ideas for how to begin healing, not just your sex life, but the connection underneath it all.

In this episode, we're diving into something that can quietly wear down even the strongest relationships: the Two-Choice Dilemma, a concept from Dr. David Schnarch. It's what happens when you feel stuck between two hard options—like speaking up and risking conflict, or staying quiet and feeling invisible. It often shows up in marriage, especially around sex and emotional connection. Let's talk about how growth in a relationship isn't pain-free, and why it's so tempting to wait for a magical third option that doesn't exist. Instead, real change starts when you face your own discomfort, manage your own anxiety, and make choices that are honest even when they're hard. If you've ever felt stuck in your marriage, like you're doing the emotional work alone, or like every option feels like a loss, this episode will give you something to think about and some real encouragement to keep going.

What I often see from those who listen to this podcast, or even from my clients, is that they want a quick fix to their problems in the bedroom. They think that if they learn the right position, or the perfect rhythm, or how to last longer, that it will magically fix all the issues they're having. So let me say again….Better sex is not about technique. Technique won't spark your desire again. Technique won't make you feel wanted again. But it does feel like the easy answer. So if technique won't do those things, what will? Let's talk about what the harder work actually looks like, why we avoid it, and what's possible when we stop skimming the surface and go deeper.

When your spouse suggests trying something new sexually, like a different position, a toy, or even roleplay, it can catch you off guard. Maybe your first thought is, “Where did that come from?” and your second is, “Do I have to say yes to this to make them happy?” These moments can stir up all kinds of questions: Is this who they really are? Is something missing in our relationship? Are they getting ideas from somewhere else? In this episode, we're slowing that moment down. Instead of jumping to fear or assumptions, we're taking a closer look at what's really going on. Why do we want to try new things in the first place? What do those desires actually mean and what don't they mean? We'll talk about how to approach these conversations with curiosity and compassion, and how being honest about our desires can actually bring us closer. Because trying something new doesn't mean your marriage is broken - it might be an invitation to grow, together.  

Have you ever felt like no matter how much you grow or how open you are to trying new things, it still doesn't feel like enough for your partner? Maybe they're asking for more - more intimacy, more variety, more connection, more emotional depth - and despite your efforts, you feel like you're always falling short. In this thought provoking episode, we explore what's really happening in relationships where one partner feels like they can never give enough, and the other seems to always want something more. We take a closer look at both perspectives to understand the emotions, expectations, and deeper needs that are often hidden beneath the surface. If you've ever struggled with feeling inadequate or misunderstood in your relationship, this episode offers insight, compassion, and a path toward greater understanding and connection.

Are you the one who always initiates sex in your relationship, and you're starting to feel burnt out by it? In this episode, we explore a common dynamic I see in coaching: the higher desire partner feeling like they're carrying the full weight of initiation, facing repeated rejection, and wondering if they're the only one who still wants intimacy. We'll unpack why this happens, what constant initiating can do to a relationship, and whether stepping back might actually help, or hurt, your connection. If you've ever asked yourself, ‘Why am I the only one trying?' this episode is for you.

Do you ever feel frustrated when your spouse doesn't want sex the same way, or as often, as you do? In this episode, we explore how rigid expectations around sex can lead to disconnection and resentment in marriage. You'll hear why focusing too much on “your” version of sex can actually block the emotional intimacy you're craving. Whether it's about initiation, frequency, or what “real” sex looks like, we'll unpack how to move from frustration to deeper connection. This is a conversation about letting go of control and rediscovering what sex can truly mean for your relationship.

Ever found yourself pulled out of a beautiful, intimate moment by the thought, “Ugh, now I have to clean up”? You're definitely not alone. For many women, post-sex cleanup can feel like an annoying chore that disrupts connection and intimacy. In this episode, we're getting real about why this moment matters—and how to simplify the cleanup process so you can stay present, connected, and fully enjoy that sweet afterglow with your spouse.

What if the covenants we make in the Temple are more than just promises—what if they're a roadmap to deeper connection and intimacy? In this episode, we're diving into the sacred covenants made in the Temple by members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—not as a checklist of rules, but as a powerful pattern of personal and relational growth. Whether you share my faith or not, this conversation has the potential to shift the way you view your marriage, your relationship with God, and even your sexual connection. We'll explore how each covenant builds upon the last, leading us from duty to desire, from sacrifice to self-awareness, and ultimately, to greater love and intimacy. If you've ever longed for more meaning in your relationships—or a deeper spiritual lens through which to view them—this episode is for you.

Does sex in your marriage ever feel like a power struggle? You're not alone. Whether you're the partner who wants sex more often or the one who wants it less, the imbalance can create tension, guilt, and frustration on both sides. In my normal open and honest way, we are going to discuss why the lower-desire partner often ends up in control of the sexual rhythm in a relationship. We'll dive into the emotional weight both partners carry, explore how this dynamic affects connection, and share practical ways to shift from a tug-of-war into a true partnership. If you're ready to stop feeling powerless or pressured and start working with your spouse instead of against them, don't miss this episode.

Katelyn Peach, Doctor of Physical Therapy, is back for this episode where we talk about pelvic floor physical therapy for men. One of the biggest misconceptions that Katelyn sees in her practice is that men think that they either don't have a pelvic floor or since they don't have babies, their pelvic floor is never an issue. This is far from the truth! Katelyn lets us know how pelvic floor issues affect men, what she can do, and even what your first visit will look like. If you or your husband has pain in the pelvic floor area, this is the episode to listen to! Did you miss last week's episode where we talked to Katelyn about pelvic floor physical therapy for women? You can find that here. Katelyn Peach is a Doctor of Physical Therapy, specializing in pelvic floor physical therapy. She treats patients of all genders and ages with a variety of pelvic floor conditions, including sexual dysfunction, bowel and bladder issues, pelvic pain, and pregnancy/postpartum.  Katelyn received her Bachelor's degree in Exercise Science from Brigham Young University, an d her Doctorate of Physical Therapy from Rocky Mountain University. She has continued her education through Herman and Wallace Pelvic Rehabilitation Institute to specialize in pelvic floor. She currently works in a cash-based clinic in Murray, UT - Well Being Physical Therapy.  In her spare time, Katelyn enjoys spending time with her husband and 3 kids, dancing, reading, and baking all things sourdough.  You can find more information on her clinic's website, wellbeingphysicaltherapy.com, on Instagram @wellbeingphysicaltherapy, or on their Facebook page, www.facebook.com/pelvicphysicaltherapy.

In this episode, Katelyn Peach, who is a Doctor of Physical Therapy, is going to be speaking with us about pelvic floor physical therapy for women. She treats patients with a variety of pelvic floor conditions so I was able to pick her brain on why you need to see a pelvic floor physical therapist, what she can do to help you, what that first visit will look like, and so much more! This is a must listen episode! Plus, next week, we will be talking about pelvic floor physical therapy for men so mark you calendars! Katelyn Peach is a Doctor of Physical Therapy, specializing in pelvic floor physical therapy. She treats patients of all genders and ages with a variety of pelvic floor conditions, including sexual dysfunction, bowel and bladder issues, pelvic pain, and pregnancy/postpartum.  Katelyn received her Bachelor's degree in Exercise Science from Brigham Young University, and her Doctorate of Physical Therapy from Rocky Mountain University. She has continued her education through Herman and Wallace Pelvic Rehabilitation Institute to specialize in pelvic floor. She currently works in a cash-based clinic in Murray, UT - Well Being Physical Therapy.  In her spare time, Katelyn enjoys spending time with her husband and 3 kids, dancing, reading, and baking all things sourdough.  You can find more information on her clinic's website, wellbeingphysicaltherapy.com, on Instagram @wellbeingphysicaltherapy, or on their Facebook page, www.facebook.com/pelvicphysicaltherapy.

Sex in marriage can sometimes feel imbalanced—one person initiates while the other holds the power to say yes or no, or one partner's needs take priority over the other's. But what if there was a way to create a deeper, more fulfilling connection? In this episode, we explore the concept of mutuality in marriage, a powerful approach where both partners' needs, desires, and well-being are valued equally. Drawing from Dr. David Schnarch's insights, we'll break down what it truly means to love well in a sexual relationship—not out of obligation or self-sacrifice, but through a balanced, collaborative connection. So, what does mutuality look like in the bedroom? And how can couples cultivate more of it? Tune in to find out.

We often think of sexual energy as just desire, attraction, or physical connection—but what if it's so much more? What if this energy could fuel your creativity, ambition, personal growth, and even spiritual transformation? In this episode, we're diving into sexual transmutation—the practice of channeling your sexual energy into other areas of your life. Whether you want to boost your creative projects, elevate your confidence, or find deeper purpose, harnessing this powerful force could be the key. Tune in to explore how to shift your mindset around sexual energy and use it to transform every aspect of your life!

I often hear from my clients the phrase, “If only…” If only my spouse would want more sex, then I could stop feeling so frustrated. If only my spouse would stop pressuring me for sex, then I could feel more comfortable with it. If only… Have you ever thought about how things would change “if only”? If you have, I bet that you have tried to change your spouse. You've bought them books, and sent them podcasts, and they have dug in their heels and stayed exactly the same. Why? Because no one wants to be controlled. That's why we're talking about changing your sexual locus of control in this episode. This is where real change happens. Want to see what you can do? Listen in.

We've all said it at one time or another - “Do you love me?” While it seems like an innocent question, what I've found from working with countless couples is that this “innocent” question often leads down a path of blame, frustration, and unmet expectations. To put it simply, it's a trap. It keeps us focused on the wrong things. So, what do we do about it? That's what we're going to talk about in this episode. It's full of usable suggestions to ask the right questions and focus on the right things.

Have you ever wondered if men experience the same pressures to be 'good' that women do? Last week, we uncovered the hidden struggles of Good Girl Syndrome—but what about the other side of the coin? Today, we're diving into Good Boy Syndrome—a silent battle many men face, shaping how they see themselves, their relationships, and their sexuality. If you've ever felt the weight of perfectionism, the sting of shame, or the fear of being truly vulnerable—this episode is for you. We're breaking down what Good Boy Syndrome really is, how it takes root, and most importantly, how to break free from it. Trust me, you won't want to miss this conversation.

What is Good Girl Syndrome? Let me answer like this - have you ever found yourself hesitating to explore your desires? Have you ever felt guilty when expressing your needs in the bedroom? Do you believe that ‘good girls' don't act certain ways? Do you feel like your worth is tied to your being modest, virtuous, or pleasing to others? That's what we're going to talk about in today's episode - what Good Girl Syndrome is, where it comes from, how to recognize it, and most importantly, how to overcome it. Let's dive in.

Have you ever thought about what drives your sexual desire? One key factor is the freedom we feel in our lives. Freedom plays a vital role in fostering vibrant sexuality and intimacy, and without it, we may experience disconnection, frustration, or stagnation. In this episode, we'll explore the powerful link between freedom and sex, why it's so crucial, and how you can create more freedom in both your personal life and sexual relationships.

A few weeks ago, we talked about prolonged arousal and I touched on sexual shame in men. I promised then that I'd do an entire episode about it because it isn't talked about much and needs to be talked about more. This is that episode. Sexual shame is one of the most powerful emotions we can experience, and when it's tied to something as personal and intimate as sexuality, the impact can be profound. In this episode, we're going to delve into this much needed topic and talk about what it is, how it manifests differently from women, the factors that contribute to it, and the steps men can take to heal. By talking about sexual shame in men, I hope to bring more light to it so those who are suffering can finally start to heal!

Valentine's Day is coming up! Does that thought fill you with excitement or dread? Often when we think about Valentine's Day, we dream up this scene straight from the movies and we are often disappointed by what actually happens. So this year, maybe we can prepare ourselves for Valentine's Day. I don't mean grand gestures or perfect plans, but shifting our attention to preparing ourselves - mind, body, and heart - for love and connection. Let's talk about how to do just that. Whether your relationship is thriving, struggling, or somewhere in between, this episode is for you!

When we think about unconditional love, it always sounds romantic and exciting, right? We've all seen the romcoms where they have the kind of love that never falters, regardless of what happens. It's the idea that someone is loved completely, no matter their choices, behaviors, or circumstances. But in marriage, the idea of unconditional love should be more nuanced. It may seem wonderful on the big screen, but in reality, unconditional love in marriage is a partnership between two adults with needs, boundaries, and expectations. It isn't about tolerating harmful behavior or being a doormat. It's about striving to accept your partner as they are, flaws and all, while also keeping a hold of your sense of self and safety. In this episode, we're going to talk about what unconditional love should look like in marriage and how to achieve it.

Want to make your intimate moments last longer? In this episode, we're diving into the secrets of prolonging arousal for men, exploring everything from practical techniques and medication options to mindset shifts that can enhance your experience. We'll also tackle the deeper issues that can impact your ability to fully enjoy intimacy. If you've ever wished for a little more time in the heat of passion, this episode is a must-listen!

Have you ever found yourself wondering why your wife doesn't seem to be attracted to you? After all, you do everything you're “supposed” to do, you've been told it works, but she still doesn't seem interested. She still doesn't seem drawn to you. The spark still isn't there. She may even seem frustrated by your attempts to connect. Why? In this episode, I'm going to answer that question and help you find that connection with your spouse that you've been searching for.

When was the last time you felt alive in your marriage? Has it been a while? The longer we're married, the more sex can become something else on our to-do list. Something that needs to happen, but doesn't bring much joy. But sex can be so much more than just the physical urge to have sex. How? When we replace sexuality with eroticism, sex becomes a way to connect with your spouse, to enjoy each other more, to feel more alive. Curious? Listen as we discuss the difference between sexuality and eroticism and what it can do for you.

Men and women have been conditioned to think that the word “objectifying” is bad. True, it can feel unsettling but sexual relationships thrive when there is a sense of desire - a longing for one another that includes, but isn't limited to, physical attraction. So, how do we navigate the tension between desire and respect? How do we balance celebrating our spouse's physical presence without reducing them to just a body? That's what we're going to talk about today.

In this episode, I am going to explore the topic of Sexual Surrender. What does it mean to fully open up, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally with your spouse? Let's talk about what sexual surrender is, what it isn't, why it matters, and how you can gently encourage it within your marriage. It may sound intimidating at first, but it can be a doorway to a richer, more meaningful intimate relationship with your spouse.

As with most things, introverts and extroverts approach sex differently. Where introverts often prefer to have time to prepare, extroverts love spontaneity. So when an extrovert marries an introvert, there can often be hurt feelings and frustration with their sexual relationship. Let's talk about the differences with introverts and extroverts when it comes to sex, and how to navigate that relationship. Marriage isn't about changing each other, but coming to understand each person's needs. This is a great place to start.

We, as humans, are wired for connection, but connection, especially in marriage, is more than just a feeling. It's the thing that keeps us going through the inevitable ups and downs of marriage. Connection is what keeps us from “living separate lives.” We often crave more connection, but we don't know how to get it. That's why in this episode, we're going to talk about why we need connection in our relationships and how to build that connection in different ways. You'll come away with actionable steps to get that connection you desire.

Creating a collaborative sexual relationship is so important to your marriage. Collaboration is different from compromise where it's not just about teamwork, or giving in, but about a mutual commitment to creating a relationship that meets both partner's needs. The rewards of a collaborative sexual relationship are profound! When both partners participate in building a space that respects and uplifts one another, it strengthens the bond, increases the satisfaction, and deepens emotional intimacy. In this episode, we're going to talk about what a collaborative sexual relationship is, why it's valuable, how it differs from compromise, and as always, I'll share practical tips to foster collaboration in your marriage.

Do you find yourself worrying more about your partner during your sexual experience than you do yourself? When we feel overly responsible for other's emotional or physical experience during sex, we can be affecting our relationship in a negative way. This dynamic is called sexual caretaking. We are taught, directly or indirectly, that we are responsible for their experience. This is not true. In this episode, we're talking about what sexual caretaking is, where it comes from, the impact it has on our relationships, and how we can shift this dynamic to create something healthier and more fulfilling for both partners.

In this episode, we are going to address a topic that so many struggle with but often don't talk about: sexual shame. Many carry the burden of sexual shame and it can impact our view of ourselves and our connection with our spouse. If you've ever found yourself feeling like something is wrong with you for having sexual thoughts, or if you've hidden aspects of your sexuality out of fear or guilt, this episode is for you.

Do you know the #1 thing that people google to get to my website? “I'm not attracted to my spouse.” Relationships are a complex thing and it's natural to have an ebb and flow. Even though we don't talk about it much, losing attraction or falling out of love with your spouse is a common experience. But it can feel very scary if you're starting to feel that way. Don't panic. It doesn't mean that this is the end of your marriage. Listen into this episode where we'll talk about why this might happen and also what to do if it does. I'll give you practical tips to work on to get back what you once had. Are you ready? Let's go!

Thanksgiving is a natural time to talk about what we're grateful for, but we often forget to include our sexual relationship on that list. Gratitude is such a powerful force within relationships, and its influence can transform our sexual relationship into the one we've always dreamed of! When we actively choose to be grateful for our partner, it opens up space for deeper connection, empathy, and emotional closeness—all of which play an important role in our sexual satisfaction. In this episode, we're going to talk about how we can bring more gratitude into our sexual relationships. I've done the research so let's talk about the practical ways we can do this. And remember, gratitude is something we can do all year long, not just at Thanksgiving.

Desire is a topic that comes up a lot in my coaching business. Couples often wonder why she's just not in the mood so in this episode, we're going to talk about 4 possible reasons why. While this isn't a complete list, these are the reasons I hear most often. So listen in to not only find out why she's just not in the mood but also what you can do about it.

Have you ever felt like your sex life is stuck in a predictable, comfortable routine? It's not unusual to feel this way but how do you get out of it? Let me answer that question and more in this episode. We will talk about a concept called “Sexual Leftovers,” those things that feel safe and not too scary in the bedroom, instead of the intimate connection that you want sex to be. And we will talk about how to address those underlying anxieties that keep you and your partner from enjoying your sex life to the fullest. There is no need to be stagnant. You can reignite that spark!

What is aftercare? Well, to put it simply, it's what happens after you have sex. Do you jump right up and go on with your day or do you take some time to cuddle? Aftercare plays such a significant role in building and sustaining intimacy in a relationship. That's why I want to talk about it in this episode. Why is aftercare so important and how to introduce it if it's not already a part of your sexual routine. Let's really break this down and talk about how aftercare impacts relationships at a deep level.

Are you bad in bed? Is your spouse? Being “bad in bed” isn't a thing that should cause shame or anger but it is something that needs to be looked at more. And it usually starts outside the bedroom. In this episode, we're going to talk about what it means to be “bad in bed” and what to do about it if you recognize yourself or your spouse in the list. With my normal honest and forthright style, I'll give you exactly what to say and do to no longer be “bad in bed.”

Even though this topic can feel a little awkward, frustrating, and even scary, I think it's important to talk about because all couples will probably have this happen from time to time in their sex lives. So, the question is, what happens when men lose their erections during sex? In this episode, we're breaking down why this happens, what to do when it does, and how to support each other through it. Let's look at this from the men's and women's perspective so that you can have a better understanding of what is going on and how to react when it does happen.

Is it time to ditch your pajamas? This topic may make you blush, but let's talk about why we might want to think about sleeping nude or partially nude. From the benefits, challenges, and health advantages, to how to introduce it to your partner, we'll talk about the surprising impact it could have on your relationship. So, sit back, get comfortable, and let's talk.

Let's be honest, most of us were not taught what to do when our arousal was unanswered. So, let's talk about it. What happens when we're turned on, but our spouse declines? How do we channel that energy into something productive and healthy? And, how do we teach our children to understand unanswered arousal? We'll talk about all of this and more in this episode. Are you ready for real change? Let's go!

What is an archetype? In very simple terms, it's a “should”. As the man, I “should” be the primary breadwinner. As the woman, I “should” cater to my husband's sexual needs. But, are these “should's”, these archetypes, really who you are deep down inside? In this episode, we're going to talk about relationship and sexual archetypes. We'll identify them, discuss how they're shaped, and the benefits and problems they bring. Finally, we'll talk about why it's crucial to break free from them. Society has long-standing traditions and norms that dictate what roles men and women “should” play. You see it everywhere. With my step-by-step guide, you can break free from these archetypes and find what you actually want to do, not what you “should” do.

I often see people wanting to uplevel their sex lives, but ignoring non-sexual touch completely. But, non-sexual physical intimacy is just as important, if not more important than sexual intimacy. In this episode, we're going to talk about touch and how important it is to our relationships. Let's talk about why touch is so important, the difference between intimate and sexual touch, how to navigate touch when partners have different needs or feel overwhelmed, and ways to build a culture of touch and pleasure in your relationship. Don't be so focused on how to have great sex that you forget about the daily intimacies of touch; the hugs, the kisses, the embraces, the handholding, the importance of touch as a love language and also as a form of foreplay and making love itself. So, what is your touch communicating? Let's find out.

I recently got a DM from a listener asking me how to navigate her sexual relationship with teens in the house. We often think that little kids make it harder to have sex, but sometimes teenagers are even harder. They have crazier schedules, they stay up later, and they have more knowledge about what's going on in the bedroom. So, in this episode, I want to talk to those mid-life couples who have teenagers and young adults at home, but who want to find ways to have a great sex life too. Listen in as I explain to you how to navigate this season.

I recently had the opportunity to be a guest on the Therapy Brothers Podcast. I talked with Tyler and Brannon about the difference between consumption and connection. I really enjoyed our conversation and the insights that were shared and wanted to share those things with you. So, here is my conversation with Tyler and Brannon of the Therapy Brothers Podcast.

What if I told you that the way you have been thinking about sex is wrong? What if that's the reason you don't have the sex life that you thought you'd have? I know that your intentions are good. I know that you know that sex is good for your marriage, but maybe it's the way that you look at sex that is affecting your relationship. In this episode, I want to talk about a different way to approach sex in your marriage; a more mindful approach that fosters authenticity, self-expression, and love, intimacy, and connection. Let's go!

I've noticed a lot of people expressing problems with their spouse's fantasies. They don't understand certain fantasies, and they are afraid that their spouse wants to turn them into reality. But, there's a difference between fantasy and desire. A fantasy is more about thoughts where a desire is bringing that thought into reality. Let's talk more about the difference and what that means to your relationship in this episode.

Do you know what a healthy relationship looks like? Many of us don't because our parents didn't know what a healthy couple looked like either. But we can change that now. In this episode, we'll talk about why we want to have a healthy relationship beyond being a good example to our children. Then we will talk about what a healthy couple looks like. I'll bet you're already doing some of these things, so it's time to add a bit more.

In this episode, I want to talk about something that may make you feel a little uncomfortable - mining for conflict. It is absolutely crucial for the health and intimacy of our relationships, but what is mining for conflict? It means actively seeking out and addressing underlying issues in a relationship. Finding these conflicts before they escalate into bigger issues and addressing the problems. Why rock the boat? Well, even if you're ignoring them, the issues are still there. I'm going to give you real steps to take to not only find the conflicts, but to fix them as well.

In this episode, I want to talk about a question I get asked all of the time. It's said in different ways, but it all comes down to this - Why does sex often seem so hard, even when we genuinely want to have it? Have you ever wondered that? Sex is a beautiful, integral part of a healthy marriage, but it's not uncommon to face challenges in this area, as we all know. So, let's break down some of the reasons why we might struggle and explore ways to make things better. Are you ready? Let's go!

In this episode, I want to talk about something that is more and more relevant in our digital age - how devices are hurting marriages and sexual relationships. Because this is now the third leading cause of divorce in the United states, it seems like it's something that needs to be discussed. So, let's discuss why devices can be so bad for our relationships, and what we can do about it.