Love Faith Tacos

Sometimes when we experience church hurt or spiritual abuse, one of the inadvertent casualties is our relationship with God because He becomes paired with trauma. In this episode, we introduce you to a wonderful song by David Tolk called Pray, and discuss how doing nothing more than just pursing the presence of God itself is the most important aspect of our ability to heal. We highly recommend you purchase David Tolk's song from his album blessings!

This week, we began talking about the proactive strategies the Bible gives us to combat anxiety. Here is the application (AKA Launch assignment) from this week's lesson. When we think about how we think in relation to anxiety, we understand that this is the focus point of many types of therapy such as Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Those approaches are certainly worth investigating, and so is this. In a way, they can both be applied to this thought process. When we think about situations which make us anxious, we can analyze them and apply this litmus test to them. 1.    What about this situation is or could be Godlike? 2.    What about this situation is or could be honorable? 3.    What about this situation is or could be fair or equitable? 4.    What about this situation is or could be a sign of dedication? If we can dwell on these things, it can help us find the good and find God in that which frightens us. This will be continued next week, but for now, think about something which makes you anxious and give these questions a try! It's a proactive strategy, so don't wait for the anxiety to strike.

Nikki and I continue our discussion on anxiety in the Bible by focusing in on Philippians 4:7. We also give an application challenge which you can find below. If you wish to share, either email us at lovefaithtacos@gmail.com or interact with our discussion post on Facebook. Emotion and perception are extraordinarily powerful things! 2 Kings 6:1-22 tells of how an enemy army decided to hunt Elisha and his servant down and kill them. When you read this story, think about and answer the following questions: 1.    How did Elisha's servant feel when he saw the enemy army? 2.    What was his perception of his chances of survival in verse 15? 3.    Do you think what Elisha said in verse 16 was a comfort to the servant (in isolation before verse 17)? 4.    How do you think the servant's emotions changed after verse 17? 5.    What do you think the servant's perception of their chances were after verse 17? 6.    In your life, do you have something that seems hopeless? Reflect on events in 2 Kings 6 as well as from Philippians 4:6-7, and consider, “What scouts, spies, guards, and garrisons has God put in my life and in my path to protect me?” 7.    How does this change your emotions and perceptions about your situation?

We continue our study on anxiety in one of the most well known passages of Scripture on the subject, Philippians 4:6-9 where we read "Be anxious for nothing" or "Be careful for nothing." We review two hermeneutic principles, define key words, and exegete (to pull out of) the overall passage as well as focusing heavily on verse 6. Here are two hermeneutic principles: Investigate the Original Languages: The Bible was written in Hebrew, Aramaic (Old Testament) and Greek (New Testament). While we have excellent translations in English, it is important to reference the original text to understand what words mean. This will be a vital principle over the next several weeks as we spend time in this passage. Slow Down: The tendency is to just read passages and get past them or try to see them in the “big picture.” While the big picture is important, it is also important to slow down, looking more closely for hidden treasures as well as clearer instruction. Here are some key words and their definitions: Anxious/Be Careful: This comes from the Greek word merimnao and its base word merimna which means, “To be anxious about, be careful, take thought” and “Through the idea of distraction, solicitude, care.” Everything: This comes from the Greek word pas which means, “All, any, every, the whole, all manner of, all means, always, anyone, daily, every way, as many as, thoroughly, whatsoever, whole, whosoever.” Prayer: This comes from the Greek word proseuche which means, “Prayer (worship), by implication an oratory, pray earnestly.” Supplication: This comes from the Greek word deesis which means, “A petition, prayer, request.” Thanksgiving: This comes from the Greek word eucharistia which means, “Gratitude, actively grateful language (to God as an act of worship), thankfulness, giving of thanks.” Requests: This comes from the Greek word aitema which means, “A thing asked, petition, request, required.”

In this episode, David and Nikki discuss 1 John 4:18 and the often misquoted, "Perfect love casteth out fear." They discuss the common misinterpretations, how they know it is misinterpreted, and what the verse really means. If you have ever struggled with anxiety, this is a big one!

David and Nikki review one of their favorite leadership books The Dichotomy of Leadership by Leif Babin and Jocko Willink. It is an excellent book and they share their insights on the strengths of the book.

As spring is either upon us or near to us, we discuss what to expect, how to tell when spring has really sprung, and things you can practically do to make your home less inviting to pests.

This week we talk about scams. They are very common, but especially this time of year. We give both general principles and some specific examples of scams and how to avoid them.

Thank you for bearing with us as we have been preparing to update everyone on the long break. In this episode we detail what occurred as well as how things are going now.

We know it's a day late, but it isn't a dollar short! We wind up our personality series by discussing the DISC and its subtypes. All information was taken from www.discprofiles.com.

As we swing into the second half of our personality assessment reviews, we went to 16personailities.com to get the descriptions of the Myers-Briggs. We give overviews, list strengths, weaknesses, and examples from history, current people, and pop culture examples. This is my (David) favorite of the assessments!

Hey everyone, with it being Valentine's Day yesterday we did not record an episode for you, and we're sorry. To make it up to you we are giving you and extra appetizer in the form of a sneak peak at our upcoming episode where we talk about why our two month break turned into a four month break. We hope you find this encouraging, and helpful, and gives you something to think about.

This week we focus in more deeply on the Enneagram personality test/system. We drew primarily on two sources: Enneagram Institute The Road Back to you by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile.

We're back! Thank you for waiting with us through the long off season, but we are back for season 2 each Tuesday. In this episode, we talk about three prominent personality tests, what our results were, how accurate we felt they were, and where you can find more information on each. Later we will revisit the individual tests to go over them more in depth. Personality is key to understanding your tendencies, strengths, and weakness, the tendencies, strengths, and weakness of those around you, and how you can best interact with them. This will be very valuable especially in situations where you just can't seem to get along with that one person.

David and Nikki talk about their trip to Charlotte. They review the two restaurants they at which were Papi's Taqueria and California Tortilla. They talk about the gem that is Lodi coffee, their hotel the Days Inn at Goose Creek, the trip to Fort Sumpter, their time in the French Quarter, and the absolutely terrifying alien monster they heard (Yes, there is audio evidence [creepy music playing]).

This episode is chock-full of help for anyone who has had to deal with transition! David had the privilege of interviewing his mother about all the transitions in her life. They talk about moving from a small town to a huge metroplex, going from large churches to a small one, transitioning from a traditional church to a contemporary church, entering widowhood, and being in a church dealing with a scandal in the pastor's family.

There are few things in life as powerful as taking the time to share in the healing process. In this second half of Regine Swim's interview about healing from church hurt, we found some powerful truths that are applicable to everyone!

Having spoken to Regine about her amazing immigration story, Nikki and David dive into Regine's story of church hurt and healing. This is the first of two parts of story of healing from a very recent hurt for someone who was at the same church for 35 years, a church that helped her transition to an American citizen. So what happened? Where did things go wrong? What was her response?

Nikki and David had the privilege of interviewing a very special guest--Nikki's mom! Regine Swim immigrated to America in the 80's. From her birth in Morocco to the folding of the American flag, her story is inspiring and tells of her journey and integration into American society. She also shares how she became a Christian and found help in her new faith community!

David and Nikki continue to discuss dynamics between leaders and followers by focusing on the perspective of a follower giving feedback to a leader. This is called leading up the chain of command. They discuss what to do before the meeting, during the meeting, if the meeting is not going well, and after the meeting. For full show notes check out the LFT Facebook page. 

David and Nikki discuss dealing with issues from a leader's perspective when a leader perceives there might be an issue or knows there is an issue, and when a follower brings an issue up to you. Also, for local Charlotte area listeners or travelers to the Charlotte area, they review their experience eating at Cantina 1511 located at 12330 Johnston Rd. Charlotte, NC 28277. You can check out their website here. Additional Show Notes will be added later.

We have had an insanely busy week, but we haven't forgotten you! Here is some of what is coming up on Love Faith Tacos!

In this episode, David discusses biblical philosophies which refer to systematic theologies and hermeneutics. It is extremely important, but can also be very dangerous if they are misunderstood, misapplied, or in error. He reviews basic rules of thumb to consider, errors to avoid, and how to find good resources. · Rules of thumb o Your philosophies need to be based on the assumptions that God is real, God is knowable, and God has communicated with mankind about what to think and how to live. o Your philosophies should be based on the Bible itself not the works of Bible scholars. Why? Men make mistakes. Men have biases. Men aren't God. o Generally, the Bible should be taken literally unless there is a good or obvious reason not to. · Pitfalls o Avoid biblical philosophies written by unsaved men. Without the Holy Spirit, we are unable to discern spiritual things properly. o Your biblical philosophies should be held as general principles as opposed to rules. o You need to have a healthy amount of philosophical doubt. o Failing to gain other perspectives. o Believing you are the only one who has the truth. o Beware of basing your theology on a single verse. o Where good, godly people disagree, tread lightly. o Just because your systematic theology or hermeneutics has something in it you don't agree with all the way, it doesn't mean you should dump the whole system. Take the good parts, leave the bad, erroneous, or corrupted parts. o Don't be proud and look down on others who don't share your exact systematic theology or hermeneutics. · How to choose materials o Bible bookstores tend to cater to an extremely wide demographic meaning that often they will have material in there that is completely opposite of what you believe. o Ask your pastor/spiritual mentor if he has any advice. o Consider Bible college libraries—remember there is a LOT of variability in Bible colleges. o Read reviews of texts online

If you are a Christian who struggles with doubts and fears, it can be daunting to face hard times if you feel like you are sinning through fear and doubt. David and Nikki answer very important questions about faith, fear, and doubt with a very heavy emphasis on Scriptures and some personal stories.

As a follow up to the episode on Common, Church-Based Anxieties, Nikki and David go further into depth on assurance of salvation as it relates to ongoing sin and anxiety. Nikki has a special insight into the concept of compulsion as it relates to re-praying.

Nikki and David talk about three common types of church-based anxiety and ways to overcome them. The first thing on the agenda is anxiety over assurance of salvation. They also discuss social pressure and performance anxiety.

Today, Nikki and David continue to discuss anxiety--specifically grounding techniques to help with anxiety and panic attacks. Physical Put your hands in water Pick up or touch items near you Breathe deeply Savor food or drink Take a walk Hold a piece of ice Savor a scent Exercise Listen to your surroundings Feel your body Try the 5-4-3-2-1 method Mental Play a memory game Think in categories Use math and numbers—Bull and calming the person down with random numbers. Recite something Make yourself laugh Use an anchoring phrase (e.g., I am ____ years old. I live in _____. I work at ______.). Right now, in this moment, I am safe. Visualize a daily task you like or don't mind doing. Imagine yourself leaving painful feelings behind. Describe what's around you (in your mind or out loud if you are alone). Soothing Picture the voice or face of someone you love. Practice self-kindness. Sit with your pet. List favorites. Visualize your favorite place. Plan an activity. Touch something comforting. List positive things. Listen to music.

Some Ways anxiety presents itself physically o Blurred vision o Chest tightness o Difficulty breathing o Hyper-ventilation o Shaking o Not able to sit still o Difficulty talking o Racing heartbeat o Upset stomach o Insomnia (Can't stop thinking about stressors) o Sleeping too much o Interrupted sleep (Can't stop thinking about stressors) o Cold, sweaty, tingly hands or feet o Dry mouth o Nausea o Tense muscles o Dizziness o Intensely or obsessively avoiding people, places, or objects. Some Ways anxiety presents itself mentally o Depersonalization/Derealization o Hyper-awareness o Feelings of dread- constantly being on edge imagining worst case scenarios, catastrophic thinking o Sense of unease- feeling that something is wrong o Difficulty concentrating o Panic o Phobia o Feelings of doom- feeling of knowing that something life threatening or tragic is about to happen o Perseverating on a problem (Rumination) When to seek help. o When it consistently interferes with your daily life. o When there is no apparent reason for the symptoms. o When physical exercise does not help—How do I know I am not having a heart attack. o When others who have experienced anxiety or are knowledgeable about it recommend you seek help. o Excessive procrastination o Anger can disguise itself as anxiety and vice versa is true o According to Psychology Today: If you feel anxious more than half the week for at least six months or longer.

In this episode, Nikki and David talk about spiritual gifts, how to differential them from just regular gifts, if gifts should be used out of need versus passion, and when to say, "Yes" or "No" to requests to use them. Listed Resources: The Attributes by Rich Diviney SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: A prize was mentioned on this episode. Don't miss out!

Having just reviewed their trip to San Diego, David discusses ways that you can prevent bringing home bedbugs from other places you travel to! Check out the Facebook page for pictures.

If you are thinking about a taking a trip to San Diego, California David and Nikki give you a head start on planning your trip. They talk about their most recent trip to San Diego, the places the ate, the places they wanted to eat, where they stayed, and their favorite local coffee. They also reveal a new restaurant coming to Monroe, North Carolina! Coffee Shop Reviewed: The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf Restaurants Reviewed: Tio Leo's Mexican Restaurant Sombrero San Diego Style Mexican Food Mr. Ruriburto's Mexican Food The Habit Burger Luna Grill Marieta's Nothing Bundt Cakes Also Recommended: Burros and Fries Lupe's Taco Shop The Kebab Shop Las Quatros Milpas Vacation Rental Review: 710 Vacation Rentals

In this episode, David and Nikki conclude the Healing from Church Hurt series by giving practical steps to find a new church. Show notes: Steps to Find a New Church Prior to Searching: Take the time to heal. Check on the spiritual health of the whole family. Determine needs vs wants Trying the Same Kind vs Different Kind of Church: Same churches work if the problem wasn't systemic. Different types of churches can confirm wants, needs, and convictions, but different isn't always better. How to Actually Find a Church: Search the internet. Ask for recommendations from neighbors, friends, coworkers, and community groups. Look for advertisements. Try driving around. Consider moving if a good fit can't be found. Warnings Before Attending: You will never find the perfect church. The grass always LOOKS greener on the other side. Things may actually improve before they appear to improve. Some problems may not be apparent until after you join. Starting the Process: Just start when a church is a true possibility, there isn't a right way. Pay attention to how the greeters engage you. See how the church members engage you. Pay careful attention to the pastor (e.g., is he really Biblical, is he aloof, etc.) Seeing if it Sticks: Fill out a guest card and see how that is handled. Give grace to people who don't know you and your situation. Is the church fitting the spiritual needs of the whole family? Is there chemistry between your family and the church family? Are there opportunities for your family to serve according to your gifts? Don't be in a rush to join. Learn what becoming a member means. Do not join if it is not a good fit. Determine if the emphasis is on being or doing. Locking it In (Joining): Have an open conversation with the pastor about where you are coming from and what you need. Get involved at a healthy rate. Only commit to ministries you can actually commit to. Don't ignore problems when they pop up; engage them Biblically according to Matthew 18. If a make-or-break situation arises after you join, leave; you aren't under contract. Be on the lookout for others who have been dealing with hurt because God never wastes pain.

David and Nikki took a brief break from their series on church hurt to introduce a new periodic segment called Ask the Pest Tech where David answers pest control related questions. On this episode, David tackles the often asked question about when people should leave a restaurant due to the presence of pests and what signs they should be looking for. They will be back next week to finish their series on recovering from church hurt.

David and Nikki resume their series on healing from church hurt by talking about strategies to identify church hurt and confront it. They also discuss when it is appropriate or even necessary to leave a church.

For Valentine's Day, Nikki and David talk about the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This resource is a must for people in relationships and should not be overlooked for people in the ministry setting as it offers great insight into why we may not always feel like we can connect with those we minister to. They also talk about what the tacos portion of the name is all about.

David and Nikki continue their interview with David and Christine Goodson on how to help other people with church hurt. In this half of the interview they discuss how to fade dependency on helpers and how to help the hurting to begin to help others. Notable Quotes "Listen without judgement." ~ Christine Goodson Resources Mentioned No Pain No Gaines: The Good Stuff Doesn't Come Easy By Chip Gaines Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depends on It by Chris Voss

Continuing with the theme of church hurt, David and Nikki interview David and Christine Goodson. David is the Pastor of Hope Baptist Church in Stallings, North Carolina. Having experienced church hurt themselves, the Goodsons have encountered a lot of people with church hurt and been used by God to help them. This interview focuses on how to help others with church hurt. Important Links Hope Baptist Church website Tecarta Bible App for iPhone Tecarta Bible App for Android Notable Quotes "The gateway to hope is through tribulation." ~David Goodson "God never wastes pain." Christine Goodson "The scars of our lives are the bandages for someone else's." ~David Goodson Songs Mentioned Unredeemed by Selah God of Every Story by Laura Story

If you thought the first part of the interview with Tracy Knights was impressive and helpful, then you have to listen to part 2! There are lots of practical tips in this episode if you need to heal from church hurt. Notable Quotes: "God is not insecure in whether or not you are spending time with Him." ~ Tracy Knights "Take time to heal from the god who isn't." Resources: Better Help: An online portal to distance mental and psychological help. Solo Parent Society: A podcast for single parents. The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by David Johnson and Jeff Van Vonderen: A book to aid in discerning between God's truths and man's manipulation. What if Jesus Was Serious by Skye Jethani: A book about paying attention to everything that Jesus taught and ignoring nothing. Special Mention: East Auburn Baptist Church East Sumner Congregational Church

We were thrilled to host Tracy Knights, single mother, teacher, grad student, and survivor of multiple church hurt incidents. She has wonderful insight into the trauma cause by church hurt as well as ways to survive it and thrive. Resources Mentioned in this Episode: The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker

Have you ever been hurt by someone in church? It's much more common than you think. In this episode, you'll hear some real-life examples of church hurt, and an introduction to strategies to help.

While the holiday season and the time right after is normally a joyful time of year, for many people it is a time of hurt and sorrow when dealing with illness, loss, and separation. David and Nikki discuss some of these situations along with some ways to find help to heal so that the holidays are still a time of joy!

David and Nikki took the Christmas weekend off, but they will be back next Monday to discuss Dealing with Hurt Around the Holidays

In this episode, David and Nikki talk about people coming back to church after Covid. Some came back, some returned but left again, some changed churches, and some never returned. They discuss some of the reasons for this and talk about the considerations a person should have if they are trying to determine if they should change churches or stay.

In the inaugural episode of Love Faith Tacos, hosts David and Nikki Church talk about the frustrations that Christians face trying to get help from their churches and pastors about anxiety. They also discuss a strategy to help begin dealing with anxiety.

This is the introduction to Love Faith Tacos where we explain what this podcast is all about--real Christian talk! Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode.