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The steamy Fifty Shades trilogy ends and we've learned nothing. 

Holy crap, billionaires. We did it. 100 episodes of the podcast. To celebrate, we finally finish the Fifty Shades series. We outlived Fifty Shades! And were more successful! Riffs include dick stickers, Bugs Bunny's indecent proposal, the impression bot, judo championship, the best way to end a book series, burning down buildings, get out of jail free cards, and dreams.  Thanks for 100 episodes everyone.

I'll be honest, I don't remember what this one is about. I slept till basically 8pm today

Wow, what an episode. The famous lost episode. We call it that because we almost gave up during recording three times. But we didn't cause it's great and so are we

Plus we learn about celebrities!

Ben and CJ read Marley and Me! A book about a dog and some other crap, probably. This episode rules and we're back from a wedding, CJ's wedding, in fact! Also features one of our best opening bits ever. You'll love it!

You ever want to know how to kill a goose? This is the podcast for you

The billionaires read Shutter Island, the only book that ever became a movie! 

They're interesting little pigs! Yet they're not actually pigs??

It's a goofy book episode! We read the book they give children about how to raise guinea pigs. It's honestly a great time

I'm still baked, alright? I upload in batches. If I'm being honest? I'm higher than when I uploaded the Monday episode. But we learn a lot of fun stuff and fill in some informational holes.

I'm posting this very high and I'm too cooked to write the description but this is a great episode

We learn about the Soloist! A book so good it doesn't even have a wikipedia page. Amazing stuff.

We're back! With a more regular release schedule? Or do we just release on a cool Death Grips schedule? You'll find out! We read the Soloist! About a man who hates the homeless.

Ben is sick! We couldn't record this week. But we can still y'all with a favorite episode. Check out one of our all time classic eps, Eat Pray  Love!

I mean, of course

No spoilers but this is a banger

The billionaires learn more about the cowboy book by the romance guy

Nicholas Sparks cowboy novel. Absolutely sick episode, folks. Really great stuff. Just listen. 

Ronald Wilson Reagan. Spies. Tom Clancy. Wikipedia. Get into it.

This one is a great one. No spoilers. Just listen

We learn about Bill Clinton's life. And you'll be shocked at what we discover if you weren't born in the 90s.

Ben and CJ read Bill Clinton's long ass autobiography! Simple country lawyers, yawn with us!, buckets of beers, old men in the locker room, red Slimer, and the Olympics

Time for the internet! The billionaires get into wikipedia and learn about pirates and shit

CJ and Ben read a book by the author of Treasure Island and Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde! It's a pirate adventure! We talk dangerous public pools, getting punched by a goon, the muppets trapped in an IKEA, Mike's Hard Molotov Cocktails, mall wars, drunken arguments, yo-yos aren't cool but they're not not cool, eskimo kiss of death, spitting sunflower seeds, and nobody likes tennis.

Learning! Recorded early in the morning and the riffs are HOT! Get into it. Learn about Charles Dickens, who was English

The billionaires read Oliver Twist! By big dick Dickens. We talk redistributing height, JFK is Stewart Little, racism is hack, yogurt names we shouldn't try to pronounce, why do British people talk so funny?, Ketamine, big green, 7/11 water is full of teeth, and we consider truing crack.

We think he might be!

Ben and CJ read "Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter". It's surprising, in a positive way! We talk fast food eggs, perforated buttholes, chewing pennies, the alt-right fitness culture pipeline, how to write a screenplay, the people's history of the united states, UFO encounters, Elon Musk sucks, the gay agenda, diversity in advertising, punting squirrels, and will it float?

We learn! And more importantly, CJ tells good stories about a trip to Italy (the birthplace of yelling).

Ben and CJ read Why Do Men Have Nipples? It's basically fun fact tweets! We talk about how pig pen was the poor kid, voting for people who do good impressions, agoraphobes who like to fist fight, single guys hanging out at bus stops, Fred Flintstone gets therapy, that guy with long ass fingernails can't text, Ben gets acupuncture, CJ is scared of acupuncture, TikTokers who don't think Hellen Keller is real, CJ's disembodied and freezing cold arm, diarrhea bite stick, Reagan kills Droopy Dog, and peeing into bottles.  

We get on our phones, not for jerkin it, but for learning! We learn about King Lear, just in time for Sparknotes season! Also we learn about cool ass fools and clowns.

CJ and Ben read King Lear by Shakespeare! Pretty good book, great episode We talk Epic Meal Time ruined bacon, the difference between improv and stand up, we turn the lights on in the room, time travel to save JFK, we talk to Tony the Chatty Real Estate Agent, Lexapro can be really good for you, Ronald Reagan hangs out with the devil, lots of music talk, then we finally talk about King Lear, Mel Gibson, and Cunt: Pig in the City

A follow up to the podcast episode from earlier in the week! You know how it works! We learn about Ben Mezrich, who is a pretty good author. He wrote that movie 21, basically!

Ben and CJ read "Busting Vegas" by Ben Mezrich! Stellar episode about gambling. Topic include dollar sign "S", Uncle Ben dunking on Spiderman, we're the brothers from Oceans 11, Yosemite's law of safe compression, a drag queen dressed as a nun named "Friend of Mary",  president Biden is banning menthol cigarettes, witchy girls smoking herbal splifs, Igor BuyAVowelOvitch, Emporer's New Groove, Jimmy John's hostage situation, and a sit in at a zoo. 

This is the duck episode. We were supposed to read about Glenn Beck but honestly he sucks, so we learn about Duck Tales. It's actually fascinating!

CJ and Ben read Glenn Beck's "Conform"! Glenn Beck has bad opinions, expressed badly. We talk a lot and learn very little. Ben can't do math! Nobody can! We talk Ponce De Leon, elitist democrats, homeschooling, we both storm off, bullying stories, fun with wheelchairs, Ben Franklin runs bit, P.O.D., and fuck that Louis! You love it

The billionaires learn more about Nicholas Sparks red headed stepchild of a book! We outline the plot, so spoiler alert. Also Nicholas Sparks is a dang freak

CJ and Ben read "Dear John" by Nicholas Sparks! It's a great episode! Nicholas Sparks might be very mentally ill, though. We talk about a lot of president stuff, what Ben loves about Schindler's List, CIA funded movies, where were the psychics on 9/10?, Juggalo book club, Yogi Bear and Boo Boo huff paint, Ben needs a vice, fav parts of college, poisoning crows, and a bucket of shrimp comes up a lot! You love it!

The billionaires learn more about Bleachers by John Grisham! Wikipedia has all the answers, per usual. Turns out the legal guy wrote a football book!

CJ and Ben read "Bleachers" by John Grisham, a book about a football player who goes to bury his coach. Written by the guy who usually does legal dramas! First time we saw weed, cheating in high school, CJ has to take his driver's test, don't talk to me till I've had my Oxy, Princess Diana playing Basketball, a fucked up radio show in a hardware store, giant real estate, and dog nut fingers

The billionaires get down, dirty, and dives (Guy Fieri reference, LOOK IT UP) and learn even more about Fast Food Nation! Sometimes we learn too much and fly too close to the sun but that's the price you pay for great podcasting.

Ben and CJ read "Fast Food Nation"! It's education but daunting! Super fun episode! We talk about Yogi Beat, The Great Emu War, Flamingos with Cankles, Camel Toe is coming back, Schizophrenics and the Matrix, Michael Jordan's Hitler 'stache, homeless Meow Wolf, hot dogs are asses and beaks Ketchup as lube.

The billionaires deep dive into What to Expect When You're Expecting! So hire them for your next live birth. We learn so much!

CJ and Ben read the baby book! If you're pregnant this episode might be helpful! It's very good and fun. Topics include: twins, bees, adopting an adult, the circus, jugglers that hang out outside a Denny's, babies who are into jazz, pigs pooping spiders, and Tom Selleck's pussy eating moustache

The billionaires dive in and learn about George Carlin's life! He did like, a lot of shit!! Jump in and learn with us

Ben and CJ read "Last Words" by George Carlin. The autobiography that Carlin wrote from beyond the grave! Topics include The seven words you must say on TV, the best places to die, we invent the Screamophone, moving furniture mixed with boxing, the word seminal, hotel room hot tubs, Pepsi vs Coke, Schrodinger's high school, and we buy off a politican!   Very fun time!

It's the post show review show walking talking dead show about our own show, show! We're still snowed it! Zoom episode! We talk stories, we learn about why every character's name ends in "io", and we learn about street urchins, and Shakespearean innuendos and words. Good fun!

A special episode recorded on Zoom because of a crazy ass snowstorm! CJ and Ben read "Taming of the Shrew" by Shakespeare starting on page 69! We talk Madea Ends Hannukah, Calvin and Hobbes, annotated notes, Italian lawyers, Italian Minions, how short Vin Diesel is, and chimpanzees with no hair. A lot of Italian stuff, tbh. But it makes sense cause the play happens in Italy

Wikipedia! We're surfing it! We learn so much about the world! Eugene Debs! Kurt Vonnegut! Articles that have issues. You're gonna love it!

Great episode, I'll be honest! Really good!  Ben and CJ read "Hocus Pocus" by Kurt Vonnegut. We get through a whole chapter, and we got some great riffs and goofs! We talk eunechs, cowboy Batman, smoking bleach, the Castratti family, senile Morgan Freeman, Train Dads in overalls, and Elvis has a stroke.