Time Ram

Time Ram really needs to talk about Styre, as we take Tom Baker's 'The Sontaran Experiment' and thrust it into the David Tennant era! Get more Chameleon as we discover Aldwych, space metal, Tim Roth, heather and Blue Peter. All together now: mickey mickey mickey mickey...

Time Ram gets all giddy as we turn our attention to 1965's 'The Web Planet' and transpose it into the Colin Baker era! Excitement or oxygen deprivation? You decide! Meanwhile, we get to enjoy an Optera soap opera, comfy spacesuits and an excess of Hesperon. Plus what exactly did Richard Martin do to those cameras?

Time Ram shakes the magic 8-ball and finds a Pyramid at the End of the World, but starring Christopher Eccleston instead of Peter Capaldi. But how can this be, when Extremis took place during the Jon Pertwee era? Frankly, we don't know, maybe all will become clear. Meanwhile, there's Rose on steroids, fun marines and secretary general Wigner to enjoy! Plus, we really must have a chat about lab safety protocols.

It's the end… and the moment hasn't been prepared for, as Time Ram takes Sylvester McCoy's final TV story ‘Survival' and drags it hissing and scratching into the era of Tom Baker. The Master is back, but no-one can recognise him because he's dressed as a bush! We also take a trip to London's poshest slum, encounter deadly hand-puppets and reunite with Sarah and Harry.

Time Ram is joined by our special guest, DWM-writer Lisa Gledhill to pick the bones out of 'State of Decay', which has been relocated from the Tom Baker era to Jodie Whittaker. Join us to learn the best name in showbiz, the technology which lasts the longest and the worst cheese ever. Bow ship or arrow ship? Dracula or Zargo? The wasting or... er... nope, no idea.

Christopher Eccleston's first episode 'Rose' was broadcast 20 years ago, but Time Ram takes it back another 30 years to 1975, as we recondition the story and adapt for Tom Baker! It's time to learn about Thora Hird's epic quest for a glass table, the real meaning of Geneva and the only honest man to enter parliament. Join us as we discuss non-specific wars, CSO fringes and Derek Griffiths! **Contains depictions of smoking.

Time Ram massacres 'The Keeper of Traken', previously a Tom Baker classic, but now taking its rightful home in the William Hartnell era! We re-purpose the Pleasence, Fabio and Mr Pastry and also explore a number of spin-off shows: Cameca - Time Stalker, The Adventures of Captain Maitland and Kassia's Special Sauce. Come on Big Finish, give us a call.

Time Ram has to decide whether to die stupid or stand down, as we review 'The Zygon Invasion/Inversion' which has changed Scotsmen from Peter Capaldi to Sylvester McCoy. In the process, we discover Robert Lindsay, garbled plot points and the Osgood conundrum. Will the quantel paint box cope? Will something very nasty happen to Uxbridge? And how many types of Zygon are there anyway?

Time Ram take time off from watching boxsets to review 'The Doctor's Wife' as made for Paul McGann in the late 1990s! In the process, we observe early wirrns, CGI swirly balls, JNT's desirable office and screaming Bovril. Could we really, finally have caught up with the Doctor's father, Ulysses? One thing's for sure: Time Lords are weird.

Time Ram takes on alien jungle and inconsistent Morestrans as we translate Tom Baker's 'The Planet of Evil' into the Sylvester McCoy era. In the process we uncover apologetic guns, unusual hospital design and cult show The Chunderbirds! It should be noted that this episode was recorded some time ago, before the result of the American election was known, and also before other recent revelations about a certain TV fantasy writer.

Time Ram suffers from assegai-envy as we take Sylvester McCoy's 'Ghost Light', add a soupçon of extra companions and serve again for Jodie Whittaker! Features creepy musuems, random glowing ostrich eyes and comedy Groucho Marx walks. It's time to go to Java (by boat).

Time Ram goes all mystery and suspense as we turn our focus to Peter Capaldi's 'Death to the Daleks'. Probably. Music cues! Von Daniken! Voices like angels! Roots! Helen Mirren and an unlikely late appearence by Paul Darrow! It's all going on. HOO-HAR!

Time Ram is better than a Time War as we take our expansive Christmas extravaganza and investigate special episode 'Day of the Doctor'! Packed full of frilly shirts, yellow horses heads, felt tips and Benton's infinite cup of coffee alongside all kinds of seasonal treats. Join us for a verse or two of Surely it's Susan.

Time Ram is joined by our special guest - journalist and comedian Steven Palace - to review (or roast?) Victory of the Daleks which we have transplanted from the Matt Smith era to Jon Pertwee. In this way, we experience Schroedinger's pregnancy, stupid science, T-Rexes made from old carpet and the Teletubbie Daleks! It's all Totally Terry Nation...

Time Ram crosses regenerations again as we take Peter Davison's 'The Visitation' and adapt it for his son-in-law (David Tennant in case you were wondering). Now we can talk like Eric Saward, play it like Tristan and love a Great Fire of London as much as we waaaaant! Also includes: silent building, Soliton patches, Matthew Waterhouse fight scenes and robot vibrators. You know it makes sense.* *May not make sense.

Don't go dropping no eves, but follow the failed goo trail to well-regarded Tom Baker story 'The Ark in Space' which has been Time Rammed to star Paul McGann! We also investigate Litefoot's family tree, take damage in the sentence and mourn Grace's opera gown. Includes previously unused Hanson and a surprising message from David Duchovny!

Time Ram gets more low brow as we take David Tennant's 'School Reunion' and re-imagine it for the first Doctor, William Hartnell. That sounds like a bad idea, you say? Like that's ever stopped us! Anyway, it means that we get to press the 'don't land properly' switch on our Dodos, confuse Katarina and Kingdom, and explore Barbara's marital problem. Also: scenes happen. Controversy!

This episode, Time Ram takes Matt Smith's 'Hide' and does a Troughton on it - which may or not be a euphemism. And so the sixties crew visit haunted Caliban House which is not a happy mansion and where postmen need to really check the signs. Meanwhile, Dandy Nichols shows some unexpected talents and Innes Lloyd deals with his Donald Pleasence problem. But we really can't get Macra into this. Or can we?

Time Ram goes all Bah Humbug for Peter Capaldi's 'Last Christmas' which now stars first Doctor, William Hartnell! In the process, we scare some rams, tease out some morpho brains and finally address some long-standing companion controversy. To Santa or not to Santa, that is the question...

Daft podcast reaches 70 episodes! No, we don't know how either. To celebrate, Time Ram takes Hartnell story 'The Celestial Toymaker' and re-jigs it for the 21st century and Matt Smith. In the process we uncover some unlikely guest stars, have a spring fitted and go 'full Scottish'. It'll make sense later. Or not. Crackerjack!!

This week Time Ram take Doctor One Dozen Peter Capaldi's classic CGI-fest 'Flatline' and adapt it for Man Alive Peter Davison's era, complete with early-eighties special effects. Because of course we do. Lucky! (With digressions for Big Brother, pineapple and JNT casting policies.) Ducking and Diving with us is special guest Jon Arnold, ready to join the Brighton Line to the Top of the Shop!

Which Doctor Who episode has the daftest title? It could be Davis Tennant's 'The Unicorn and the Wasp', which in this Time Ram gets transported to the Jon Pertwee era, the lucky thing! Join us as we explore crystals, December garden parties and probic vent insecurity on the way to uncovering the inevitable hexapod murderer. It's not who you think. Wallop!

Time Ram splice the mainbrace, batten the hatches and take their sea sickness pills as we launch Christopher Eccleston's 'The Smugglers'! Join us as we spend money on pirates, vibrate some concrete and reminisce with acting legend Don Warrington. But where exactly is the gold? Don't tell 'em Pike!

In this Time Ram, Colin Baker's sixth Doctor heads off to bonnie Scotland to experience the Terror of the Zygons! How Scottish is too Scottish? Does the quote quota exist? When is a good moment to point out to someone that they have holes in them? And how do you milk a Skarasen? It's possible that none of these questions will be answered by the end of the episode!

In space, no one can hear you visit the museum... That's what the 14th Doctor learns when he takes companions Trude and Mel to visit The Space Museum! Memories of William Hartnell can be erased as Time Ram introduces us to the adventures of Sita, the planet of used mobile phones and collars with balls on. Disclaimer: This episode may include mental images of David Tennant in his speedos. Or not. It's up to you.

Time Ram takes on the 14th Doctor, David Againnant, surprisingly appearing in Peter Capaldi's 'The Pilot'. It's a continuity conundrum with squeaky Mel, CG giant heads and plenty of prop facts! Somehow, we also find time to debut our 70s film series starring Sean Connery and Michael Caine. Unmissable!

It's the battle of the Sylvesters - McCoy and Stallone together at last in the 1988 spectacular 'Planet of the Daleks' (which has been Time Rammed from the Jon Pertwee era). Join us for Dalek Putey, torches for eyes and Ace's invisible boyfriend. Featuring more Keff McCulloch than ever before!

This Time Ram, we cover the end of David Tennants' first reign as the Doctor with 2009/2010's 'Logopolis', putting aside the emotions to focus on maths and entropy... Because RTD would do that. So join us for the tragic fate of Rawling Cranfield, New Years Eve costume ideas and Donna's new job as a rat-catcher in That London! It's more fun than a delta wave augmenter.

It's time to put down your copy of The Gruffalo, and join Time Ram as we pit the first Doctor, William Hartnell, against the Silurians/Eocenes/Homo Reptilia/whatever they're called this week in 'The Hungry Earth/Cold Blood'! Also starring harder Barbara, screamin' Susan and "good lord" Ian! Let's send in the grass and determine if violence is, in fact, the way. Features additional Carey Blyton.

For Time Ram's 60th anniversary (that's right, isn't it?) we inject some David Tennant (rather than David Againnant) into black and white classic 'The Web of Fear'! Which it turns out should be called 'The Fibreglassy Foam Fungus of Fear', but you can't win them all. We also explore Douglas Camfield's happy place, meet the Below Average Intelligence and find out which celebrity has a face like a Yak's bottom. Coming to a specialist store near you!

In this Time Ram, we bring controversial 1970s story 'The Talons of Weng-Chiang' forward to the twenty-first century, fully re-tooled for Christopher Eccleston! Yes, you read that right. We also get little distracted, start up a family glazing business and become dropsy-raddled. Make an 'orse sick, that would.

In this episode of Time Ram, we attempt to conjugate the subjective (whatever that means) of David Tennant's 'The Shakespeare Code' while we search and replace with Peter Capaldi. This takes us around the tetradecadrons via Peter Stringfellow, Hugh Hefner and Bill Baggs to eventually redefine the knock knock joke! Featuring special guest star (and old mate) Richard Knapper and his magnificent facial hair!

Time Ram tiptoes through the forest of creepy Uvanovs, crying Zildas and Lord Lucans to investigate 1977's The Robots of Death now re-jigged to star William Hartnell, who arrives on the sandminer with Ian, Barbara and new companion Vicki. Terrible hats! Magnets! Crazy screams! Ian's normal ring! Chub's murder place! This episode has it all.

This is Time Ram, the podcast which puts all of the wrong Doctors in all of the wrong stories: in this case, William Hartnell starring Sylvester McCoy's 'Dragonfire'. When the Doctor, Ian and Barbara land in a freezer centre powered by mercury, we learn many things, including how a teenage Vicky got there, what a literal cliffhanger looks like, and most importantly, what Kane's been doing for the last 3000 years. We promise you won't like the answer...

Welcome Lords and Ladies to Time Ram as we take a classic Peter Davison team and put them into David Tennant's 'Army of Ghosts/Doomsday'. It's the David Banks vs Roy Skelton face-off we've all been waiting for! It's a bad day for famous monuments, but a good day to learn which fifth Doctor companion is the nicest to him, the name of Varsh's prog rock band, and who knows the least about telebiogenesis. Best listened to in your Alzarian pyjamas!

In this special episode of Time Ram, we are joined by EDA authors Kate Orman and Jonathan Blum to help us explain what happens when you take Paul McGann and put him into 'City of Death'! In the process, we get to consider Michelangelo's David, time travelling Silurians and the effect of David Hasselhoff's speedos on evolution. Features 100% more deadly snakes than the average episode!

Prepare for mayhem as Time Ram takes the 60s classic 'Planet of Giants' and rams it into the Christoper Eccleston era! SCREAM as the Doctor and Rose push through to the gap at the edge of a window box! THRILL as Danny Dyer gets overly lairy! GASP as a balloon bimbles across the room! This time, the worm turns!

This week Time Ram's grandiloquent predilections lead us to explain Greggs stotties, William Hartnell's topless pics and how many stories you didn't realise had the Master in them. Oh yeah, and we also discuss 80s epic 'The Mark of the Rani' and attempt to set it in the growing McGann era. So that's nice.

It's Time Ram, the podcast where we do daft things like taking 60s story 'The Dominators' and reimagining it for the Christopher Eccleston era. In the process, we get to investigate where the Trods are, Dulcian costume design and legendary Doctor Who spin off 'The Wahed problem'. So join us on the Island of Death! Or get your energy sucked in a football stadium. It's all good.

'Tis the festive season, and with nights drawing in, Time Ram celebrates the fine tradition of a good old spooky story, told around a crackling log fire. And what better way of doing this, than by taking Torchwood's 'Something Borrowed' and The Sarah Jane Adventures' 'The Man Who Never Was' and swapping them between series? So we get the Sarah Jane kids dealing with a pregnant bridezilla, while events at Torchwood force Ianto to grow to 30 stories high! And that's before we even get to radiophonic blarting, intravenous 1973 and K9's sonic lipstick!

For our 60th anniversary special, we take the classic episode 'The Five Doctors' and Time Ram it into the 'Day of the Doctor' slot, as broadcast on 23 November 2013! Despite some of us being trapped in a time eddy, we explain numbers, the Cyberman decline and the economic role of Terrys chocolate oranges... helped by our special guest, Gareth Preston! No cabbages were harmed in the making of this podcast.

Tune in (so to speak) and listen to Time Ram attempting the impossible: taking Steven Moffatt's finely tuned episode "Let's Kill Hitler" and attempting to cram it into the Jon Pertwee era! I mean, what are we like? It might help that we've already done "A Good Man Goes to War" (Time Ram 005) and come up with a possible River Song parentage in "The Return of Dr Mysterio" (Time Ram 031). Or it might not. It's the episode otherwise known as "A National Socialist Dictator F***'s Us Up!"

It seems that in the Time Ram Universe (TRU?) Paul McGann's Doctor Who was introduced to the Americans in 1996 with... 'Castrovalva'. In other words, the Master, complex continuity and endless TARDIS scenes. A sure fire hit! In this podcast (guest-starring Melanie Clark), we explore that possibility, but with added card counting, math vs maths and civilisations wiped out by swimming pool Stonehenges. Roundels forever!

It's time for Benton's awfully big adventure in 'The Sensorites', previously starring William Hartnell, but now upgraded for Jon Pertwee! So that'll be 'The Thenthoriteth', then. In the process, we get all grown up and find out about sunk cost fallacies, the value of pointed sticks and what's so great about molybdenum. Although we also do an acapella season 8 soundtrack. Only on Time Ram!

We get taken back to the 1960s, with William Hartnell starring in 'Carnival of Monsters' (because this is Time Ram, and whatever Doctor you're thinking of, Jon Pertwee isn't it). Our dander's up as we define fan wank, enrage the Doctor and discuss the origin of the Macra. Now, is that a friendly Drashig or a man in a sack with prongs on?

Join Time Ram as we start a whole new life cycle with Peter Capaldi in "Doctor Who" - otherwise known as Paul McGann's The TV Movie! It's time to throw off all those boring old 'face' regenerations and become half-Scottish as we learn how to engineer black holes, destroy a time rotor and crawl fitfully towards the ad break. Who is the walrus? Goo goo g'choob!

It's Time (Ram) for us to gird our gas bladders and look at Tom Baker's 'The Macra Terror' (previously associated with Patrick Troughton)! This episode we join the Danger Gang, growl at K9's head and take part in some inappropriate dancing. But are we ready to finally settle that crab/snail argument? Only one way to find out...

It's The End of the World - but just the Doctor Who episode, which Time Ram now translates from the Christopher Eccleston to its rightful home in the Tom Baker era! We're now in the 70's, when people were natural and saggy, and no one did emotions yet. So who wants to be Sondergaard? Beau Bridges or Bo Derek? When can't you trust your staff with the off switch? And finally, please show us on this doll where Chris Chibnall touched you...

This Time Ram, we oversee Jon Pertwee's 'The Daemons', now re-jigged and adapted for David Tennant! Find out where the Doctor keeps his slides, what Jackie Tyler thinks of Tony Robinson and who's been knobbing the milkman* as we visit County Evil in the mid-noughties. And that's all before Yvonne Hartman orders us into the heat barrier! *Listeners may not actually learn these things

We continue our examination of the Paul McGann era, and his ongoing search for his father Ulysses, with his 4th (5th? 22nd?) episode 'It Takes You Away'. Finally, we learn about what is canonical Norway, what constitutes too many Graces and how Rarks go on dates. We'll be kissing William Shatner in the Aunty Zone, and that should get your Spidey senses tingling.

Time Ram kicks off the Matt Smith era with his opening story, 'Spearhead from Space' (previously associated with Jon Pertwee) where we deal with various dilemmas, such as how to play with our twangers, getting to see Peter Wyngarde's face creases, what every NHS hospital needs, and whether we should feature gratuitous nudity or cross-dressing Time Lords. Perhaps most pertinently: how do we get Amy into this story? That'll be nice with a bit of salt and a few onions.