To Be Continued with Cristela Alonzo

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Hello! You might've ended up here because you're familiar with my Netflix stand-up special "Lower Classy" or maybe you were a fan of my sitcom "Cristela" or you saw "Cars 3" and thought, "I NEED to follow this yellow car!" Look, let's be real. For all I know, you're here because we used to date or we went to school together and you wanted to see what I was up to before you went asleep (we've all been there). To Be Continued is my podcast that mixes sketch, social commentary and well, really whatever comes to my mind. That's part of the fun. It's a conversation I have with you that never ends...thus the title: To Be Continued.

Cristela Alonzo


    • Oct 6, 2023 LATEST EPISODE
    • infrequent NEW EPISODES
    • 47m AVG DURATION
    • 36 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from To Be Continued with Cristela Alonzo

    EPISODE 39: I'M NOT HIGH OR LOW...I'M MEDIUM MAINTENANCE

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 6, 2023 38:29


    I'm back with a new episode where I thank my new (and old) supporters and talk about how being in the middle can be a great thing. Also, talk about mental health and how it affects me and how I treat myself....and the Cowboys. lol

    EPISODE 38: I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP, I'M A TOYS 'R US KID (FINALLY)

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 20, 2023 38:36


    This week I talk about my toy/retro video game haul that I got in San Jose while doing shows at the IMPROV with my friends Steve Halasz and Jerry Rocha and how buying old stuff can unlock moments that bring back memories and remind you of times when you were happy. Sometimes we need that reminder.

    EPISODE 37: LIKE WHAT YOU LIKE. EVERYONE ELSE SUCKS

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 14, 2023 37:52


    I went to Wrestlemania 39 last week. Grew up a wrestling fan and had some people criticize it because "it isn't real." It made me realize how much people LOVE to judge things people might like because THEY think it's weird or lame. My point is: If it makes you happy....who cares? It's hard to find joy sometimes. When you find it, don't let it go.

    EPISODE 36: TRYING TO DO VIDEO WITH MY PODCAST BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS YEARS BEHIND EVERYONE ELSE

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 6, 2023 42:21


    This week, I talk about how it's been over a year since we last talked! Haha...the video of this podcast will be available on YouTube. I also talk about being tired and busy and what I've been up to. For example, I just got back from Mexico City working on something!

    EPISODE 35: It's A Next Year! My List of Five Random Things That I Kind Of Remember From 2021

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 1, 2022 35:36


    I just wanted to do a quick episode to say "It's The Next Year!" to everyone. I'm saying this instead of Happy New Year's because why give you the pressure of trying to be happy if you don't feel like it? I decide to randomly do a list of five things I remember of the top of my head about 2021....not good or bad....also, I mention NFTs but I don't know what they are?

    EPISODE 34: Merry Christmas! If I'm Wearing Pantyhose, I'm Robbing A Store

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 26, 2021 44:00


    This episode was recorded on Christmas as a Christmas gift to all of my four listeners. In this episode I catch everyone up on where I've been and what my year has been like. It's had ups and downs and guess what? I'm still here. I talk a little bit about writing a Lifetime Christmas movie, hosting Legends of The Hidden Temple and preparing to shoot my second Netflix stand-up special!

    EPISODE 33: Are You Sure You Can Afford That $12 Sports Bra

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 25, 2021 48:57


    EPISODE 32: Why I Hustle in Silence And Let The Lamborghini Make The Noise...

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 18, 2021 39:08


    This week, I talk about having a baby...my niece NOT me though I do like to eat for two but that's another story and seriously...can we make a Lego set of Los Bukis a real thing?

    EPISODE 31: Do You Ever Ask Yourself If You're 'Enough?'

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 10, 2021 44:29


    I finally made a new episode of my podcast and explain how the struggle I have with doing my podcast is the question that makes me wonder if I'm doing "enough" for people to want to listen. I always catch up everyone on what I've been up to...like writing a Lifetime Christmas movie with a predominately Latino cast, directed by an awesome female director and why I'm so into vintage clothes lately.

    EPISODE 30: Should Birthdays During A Pandemic Count?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 2, 2021 45:20


    This week, my listeners realize I'm back after taking months hiatus to try to help save democracy. Did it work? We still don't know! Starting the year with a new podcast to catch people up. Also, for the first time ever, I talk about my birthday in public and about roller skating.

    EPISODE 29: The Last Four Years Feel Like I Get A Daily Paper Cut And Touch Lemons

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 6, 2020 52:00


    In this week's podcast, I talk about what projects I've been working on lately, my work with the Joe Biden campaign and why the Trump presidency feels like what the name of this episode is: The Last Four Years Feels Like I Get A Daily Paper Cut And Touch Lemons!!!

    EPISODE 28: TGIF (Tias, Goya Is Fired) EVERYONE!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 11, 2020 48:51


    This week, I break down why the media is not "a virus" and how I love when I ask people to unfollow me because they support a racist. Also, I talk about the magic of Latino supermarkets and why our spending power is a tool we need to learn how to use more...I'm not talking to Goya anymore, it knows what it did.

    EPISODE 27: Stop The Spreading Of The Karenavirus

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 2, 2020 42:20


    It's time we talk about the importance of wearing masks during a pandemic where people are dying....and how not wanting to wear one because it's about freedom is the dumbest thing I've heard. Go run into a burning building after fire fighters tell you not to because of "FREEDOM" then....(insert eye roll here)

    EPISODE 26: How About A Jeffrey Dahmer Statue? He's Part Of Our History Too...

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 25, 2020 34:59


    This week, I talk about breaking all of my four listeners' hearts last week when I DIDN'T podcast. Also, I talk about why we like to celebrate the worst parts of our history and pretend like those were the good old days. And....why my VERY Catholic mom taught me to support LGBTQ.

    EPISODE 25: The Person That Knows Me Best...

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 10, 2020 73:40


    This week, I introduce my best friend Steve to my four listeners. If you follow me on social media or have seen me on tour, then you know him. We got people from IG to have Steve ask me questions they wanted the answers to because he knows, I don't really like to get too personal...

    EPISODE 24: Black Lives Matter

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 4, 2020 32:48


    In this week's episode, I talk about why I support the protests and talk a little about why it's important to support the movement and make sure you don't insert yourself into it. There's really nothing more to say about it.

    EPISODE 23: I Was Depressed? I Just Thought I Was Poor

    Play Episode Listen Later May 28, 2020 52:50


    This week, I talk about my love of space and science, I break down my breakdown from 2018-2019 because it's Mental Health Awareness Month and the thing I'm into this week is money...YOUR money!

    EPISODE 22: White People Should Stay Out of Haunted Houses

    Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2020 52:35


    This week, I dive into why I LOVE scary movies but also what is wrong with them and talk about why I’m wearing workout clothes but not working out. Also, I talk about how I’m the kind of person that makes playlists about playlists.

    EPISODE 21: St. Vicks Vaporub - The Saint Of Healing On A Budget

    Play Episode Listen Later May 13, 2020 52:47


    This week, I break down low-budget health care and talk about what it was like translating action movies for my mom as a kid. Also, I list all the video game consoles/systems I have and talk about Animal Crossing. Did I mention I'm single? Pew Pew.

    EPISODE 20: Taking Down My Cinco De Mayo Tree

    Play Episode Listen Later May 6, 2020 44:22


    This week, I talk about the importance of Cinco de Mayo, one of the holiest holidays for my Mexican community and how I'm having a hard time understanding it's May. Also, I go on about comic book movies and how I want to give people bricks.

    EPISODE 19: When My Phone Dies, I Die Too

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 29, 2020 52:05


    This week, I talk about how the most helpful thing to get me through a pandemic was growing up poor because I've been going without necessities my entire life. I also talk about how I'm a proud plant mom and talk about what the hell "Planturday" is. Also, I talk about my phone because why on earth would I name my episode that and NOT talk about my phone?

    EPISODE 18: My 80's Movie Makeover

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 22, 2020 55:39


    During this time of a global pandemic, I have decided to give myself a makeover because I have great timing. Sure, why not? It turns out, this time has been serving as a reset button for myself and I somehow end up talking about how even Barbie gets in a bad mood sometimes. Trust me, it all makes sense.

    EPISODE 17: Time Doesn't Exist Anymore

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 15, 2020 60:08


    This week, I'm at the point where I've lost all concept of time and how because of that, I ended up exploring the world of conspiracy theories. Also, I talk about the resurrection of a long, lost skill I forgot I had.

    EPISODE 16: DOING THE BEST WE CAN

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 9, 2020 48:31


    EPISODE 15: HOW A FRIENDSHIP SAVED MY LIFE

    Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2019 54:43


    EPISODE 14: I'M NOT SPECIAL. WHERE'S MY AWARD?

    Play Episode Listen Later May 10, 2019 68:17


    EPISODE 13: THIS IS FOR MY FOUR LISTENERS…

    Play Episode Listen Later May 1, 2019 53:00


    EPISODE 12: TREAT YOURSELF LIKE GUCCI

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 30, 2018 50:45


    JULY 30, 2018: In episode #12, I talk about my return to social media after months of absence to focus on myself. I get honest about what has been going on with me, including changes that have made me take control of my life better and I talk about the importance of taking care of yourself mentally/physically. Oh, and I throw a little Star Trek: The Next Generation chat in there too.

    EPISODE EIGHT: LET'S MAKE IT A BLOCKBUSTER NIGHT

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 1, 2017 57:59


    I talk about how families used to rent VHS tapes for fun, why it's so hard for me to wear nice clothes, my disappointment in the internet and my new OBSESSION is called 'wogging.'

    EPISODE SEVEN: HOME ALONE: THANKSGIVING

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 23, 2017 56:31


    EPISODE SIX: DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 16, 2017 56:27


    EPISODE FIVE: ROCK N TROLL

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 2, 2016 53:34


    This episode discusses what happens what ignorant people say when they're allowed to be as hateful as they want and remain anonymous. I posted about my mother coming to this country and Twitter let me have it. HOW DARE SHE COME TO THE US ILLEGALLY? OH SHE CAME HERE LEGALLY? HOW DARE SHE COME TO THE US LEGALLY THEN??

    Episode Four: Am I A Woman?

    Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2016 40:19


    I'm a tomboy. I never understood why so many people (throughout my life) feel the constant need to criticize me and tell me that I'm not woman enough. I don't wear makeup all the time, I like wearing sneakers....and of course, that means I'll never get married and have kids....because you know, me liking sneakers means I'm going to die a spinster.

    Episode Three: Recycling To The Oldies

    Play Episode Listen Later May 11, 2016 29:46


    This week, I talk about how innovative my mom was in making things last. I'm reminded by it because this past weekend, I met so many mothers at the Mother's Day show I did and it made me nostalgic. I also discuss great and terrible songs I used to love and why being a maid was my dream growing up.

    Episode Two - The Race Card: The Final Frontier

    Play Episode Listen Later May 4, 2016 31:17


    In this episode, I get nostalgic over my breakfast, which leads me to talk about my favorite day of the week growing up. I also discuss how I don't get it when people get annoyed with "how much I talk about being Latina" (seriously, I don't get it) and we start tapping into my love of sci-fi, which I'm sure won't be the last time we delve into this. We also talk about what I'm into this week....

    TO BE CONTINUED: EPISODE ONE, HELLO!

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 25, 2016 23:21


    This is my first episode and know that not everyone will know who I am so this is an introduction where I tell you a little bit about myself.

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