Why Will No One Date These Guys?

It's been a long run but the podcasting police finally caught up to us for our many crimes and are forcing us on hiatus. This may not be the end of the podcast formally, but we are putting this on the backburner for the near future as Joel moves into a new career and Naomi...does more surfing or something. We chat about All credit to Disney for use of part of the Avengers Endgame Portals theme. Hey, this is crazy and completely unintentional, but Joel discovered that his favorite track from Lilo and Stitch and that Avengers theme were both composed (or at least credited to) Alan Silvestri of Disney fame. Is Joel's taste in movies more shallow than he would like? Probably? Are they good, emotionally poignant tracks? Definitely. The Ketsa theme we've been using doesn't really portray endings well - Joel thinks Daft Punk's Touch is actually a far better song to go out on but wanted to avoid copyright strikes. DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineSupport the show

Joel and Naomi wrap up Intimate Matters by talking about same-sex relationships in the 19th and 20th century (including the Wild West!),  Margaret Sanger and the contraceptive revolution, and the impact the Kinsey report had on both law and media before, during, and after its release. If it sounds like Joel was choking back his words for 90% of the episode...that's because he was coming down from a cold and stopping every 2 minutes to cough. Clever editing cut most of that out...but his intonation and pacing for most of this episode is pretty weird. Feel free to make fun of him for that.  Find a copy of the book here.DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the show

Joel and Naomi get back together to continue discussing Intimate Matters. In this section we talk more about community regulation of vice, how "queer" behavior was punished but also strangely tolerated by early settlers, the "duty" of sex in relationhips, how 17th century Enlightenment ideas radically changed people's perspectives on individual happiness, and how prostitution filled a social vacuum left by wars and new settlement patterns during the same period. Joel also goes on a tear about "The Dawn of Everything," David Graeber's incredible book that covers, among other things, the role Native people's had on influencing European thought in the 17th and 18th centuries. Find a copy of the book here. Find a copy of The Dawn of Everything here. DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the Show.

Joel and Naomi get together to discuss a unassuming book no one has ever heard of. Yes, we continue to make smart choices that expand our audience and move us closer to careers of full-time podcasting. Go us!We discuss Intimate Matters, a 1988 book that does an incredible job breaking down the social, political, religious, and economic factors that heavily influenced relationships, family patterns, and sexual behavior throughout American history. In part 1 we go way back to early English colonists and talk about early Protestant ideas about sex, contrasts with Native peoples, how communities helped regulate sexual mores, and the practice of "bundling." Find a copy of the book here.All credit to Cole Porter for Anything Goes. DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the Show.

It's been 10 months since we last dropped intimate deals of our lives and lessons we've learned about the world so we felt entitled to share some stuff. Well, actually we had another episode planned but Naomi shared a completely whackadoodle travel story that derailed Joel and Naomi chat about NYC travel to see the Pickle Guys, Joel's new and amazing podcast ideas, Naomi's recent move, and Joel's intimate thoughts about weddings and why no one should ever hold one. Unrelated, but he's getting married soon. DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the Show.

Naomi and Joel get together to discuss more kink specifics including some of the kink created by different cultural periods, the kinkiest presidents, and how kink is talked about in media. DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the Show.

Naomi and Joel get together to discuss the basics of kink, everything ranging from BDSM to findom to the principles surrounding consent. We also come up with some good movie ideas. The AI companies are crashing and burning and hopefully Hollywood will come crawling back to us eventually. Phoot credit to Anna Shevts on Pexels.com DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the Show.

In part 3 we wrap-up our discussion of the Straight State by discussing how military regulations of homosexual behavior in the early 20th century helped shaped queer culture for decades to come.  Find a copy of the book here.DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the Show.

In part 2 of the Straight State we discuss the links between queerness and tramp lifestyles in the 1930's, how federal work programs like the FTP and the CCC helped shape public perception of queerness, and how backlash to and support of different forms of social assistance during this era was likely due to concerns about a lack of jobs making people gay. No, seriously. Find a copy of the book here.DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the Show.Support the Show.

Joel and Naomi get together to discuss more queer history with this book, a guide to how US government policy in the 19th and 20th century helped shape and reinforce ideas about queerness across America. In this part we discuss Joel's half-remembered recollection of Foucault's History of Sexuality and author Margot Canaday's in-depth discussion of queer immigration policy. Find a copy of the book here. DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the Show.

Joel and Naomi get together with Arizona State Senate candidate Lauren Kuby to talk about her upcoming race, some of her priorities if elected, her response to climate change threats, and the state of reproductive rights in Arizona. Oh and dating. We are a dating podcast, after all. Find out more about Lauren's campaign on her website. Find her on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook as well.  Lauren wanted to draw some attention to AZ Hugs, a Tempe homeless non-profit currently being sued. You can find more about them here. Lauren also wanted to suggest people consider signing up as paid pollworkers for the upcoming elections. Elections always need competent people to help fairly and accurately running voting locations and tabulation - find more information here. Support the Show.

You may have seen some news making the rounds about a new study that claims to have objectively ranked all the US States according to how friendly they are for singles. We were skeptical of this claim and dug into the data – believe it or not, there are issues. Join us to discussing the importance of accurate variable weighing, checking the sources of one's data, and covering up your classism a bit better. We also talk a little bit about what the uncritical coverage of this dreadful material says about the state of US media.Joel has been podcasting for 3 years and occasionally drops the ball when it comes to podcast setup. The content is great but the audio was recorded on his laptop microphone, not the high-quality Blue Yeti stand-alone mike that you all have grown accustomed to. DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the Show.

Joel and Naomi wrap up our discussion of this book by talking about the rise of dating apps, Joel's hot takes on Bridgerton, how queer culture was encouraged (and discouraged) by different groups,  and the weird history/development of early internet-enabled sex toys.  Joel also finds a way to squeeze in a rant about worker's rights. Go figure. DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the Show.

In part 2 we continue to discuss Samantha Cole's amazing internet history. We dig into the emergence of images and some of the initial ethical issues involved in image sharing, how early virtual smut was shared prior to images, the sectioning-off of the early tech industry, major technological innovations pushed by the early adult industry, and how early adult websites sometimes found success and how that shaped the lives of the operators. Find a copy of the book here at writer Samantha Cole's website. DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the Show.

Joel and Naomi get together to discuss an amazing collection of essays exploring early internet history and how that shaped, reinforced, and sometimes changed the sexuality and love lives of the earliest users. We dig into the early "SEX" Operating Systems, talk about how early forums and chat rooms changed the lives of millions, dig into the earliest attempts at internal regulation of internet content, and wrap up with a abbreviated history of how government attempts at censorship yielded a legal compromise in the 1990's that still regulates the internet today. Find a copy of the book here at writer Samantha Cole's website.  DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the Show.

Jojo and NaO finish up the second part of More, digging into the juicy tidbits of the author's polyamorous relationships. Joel provides a bunch of feedback about how uncomfortable this makes him and how this whole thing seems like a weird combination of cashgrab/fetish thing/recontextualization of events/confession. One big problem with the podcast format is how poorly our quiet looks of confusion and awkward cringing translate to the audio - trust us, there was a lot of that this time. DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the Show.

Joel and Naomi touch base for a third year in a row to pull our hair out, gloat about podcast successes around the world, talk about future plans, and catch up with Giselle, Rj, and Tazmin. If your favorite scene in Wizard of OZ was the one where they see the man behind the curtain, this is the episode for you. All credit to Judy Collins for use of the "Send in the Clowns" backup music. DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the Show.

Joel and Naomi get together to discuss the general culture around polyamory and More: A Memoir of Open Marriage by Molly Roden Winter.  DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the Show.

Joel and Naomi catchup on how we're using our "twenty twenty door" mantra then get into a discussion about the wacky new stuff in the world of dating. We discuss TruBluu, a dating app for progressives,  Volar, a dating app where AIs go on dates for you, the philosopher Zizek's musings on sex toys, the ever-rising cost of dating apps, the rise of dating app coaches, the return of in-person meetups, and the possibility that online dating can be just as effective randomly pairing people together compared to carefully selecting matches.  DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the Show.

Man, it would be nice if we didn't have to do these, right? Like, if we could spend all of our time talking about new ice cream flavors or smutty novels or whatever. But sadly some legislators have decided to be real jerks about abortion stuff so we're back on the grindstone once more. This episode we discuss Arizona's recent abortion ban and the history behind it, a rise in anti-birth control information around the country, and some small blips of hope in an otherwise gloomy time.  Oh, and we bully Ben Shapiro a bit.  DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the Show.

Naomi and Joel talk about the rising tide of body image issues and some stuff that may or may not make people feel better about themselves.Here's a gallery of what people of different body sizes look like.  DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the Show.

In this one we discuss the medical drama series The Resident, the trauma-bonding science fiction film Upstream Color, the polyamory memoir "More," the lesbian romance drama manga How Do We Relationship, the gangster/rich person drama The Gentlemen, the immigrant relationship drama Past Lives,  the Meryl Streep romcom It's Complicated, the Spiderman fanfiction comic "Spider-Sense and Sensibility," the "Things We Never Got Over" series,  the existential philosophy/multiverse theory film Mr Nobody,  and (only as an honorable mention) the sketchy dating romcom No Hard Feelings. The episode outro music is "Sous les draps" by Pierre von Dormael.  The whole Mr Nobody soundtrack is pretty baller. So is the movie, except for the part where Jared Leto says "It's Nobody time" and nobodies all over the place.   DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the show

Wrapping up a book critique in only 2 sections? Wow, we're making great progress on our New Year's Resolutions. In pt 2 of Art of Seduction we get into the actual text and find some uncomfortable stuff, ranging from Robert Greene misrepresenting his sources to his examples not supporting his arguments to his examples ignoring commonly-accepted historical details that run contrary to his assertions about the seductive capabilities of people like Cleopatra and JFK. Basically this book is garbage from every perspective. We also get into how the seduction advice this book gives is structured less to help normal people pick up dates and more to aid bad people exploit others. Hopefully not his intention but unfortunately an obvious conclusion. DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the show

We're back on the media critique grindstone, kicking off the second quarter of the year with our takes on Robert Greene's Art of Seduction. It's bad, but it's also...weird...mixing together a pseudo-academic take on seduction through the ages with ramblings about how it can be applied to advertising and politics. It's also sold over a million copies, which is more success than we'll ever have, so what do we know? Part 1 discusses the background of the book, Robert Greene's intro and reasons for writing, and then a bunch of our criticisms about the framing. Turns out relying on a bunch of myths and anecdotes isn't the best way to prepare a scholarly assessment of love through the ages. But then again, 1 million copies sold. What do we know? DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following: UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the show

Uh, not a great way to intro this one. We talk about genocide in Palestine,  the atrocities being committed there, how major news media companies are complicit in war crimes based upon their skewed coverage, how Israeli actions will directly impact (and already are impacting) Americans fighting for abortion access/trans rights/everything else, and the stuff that keeps us going in the face of a world seemingly only getting worse. No, seriously, we have some hopeful stuff. We would not have done this episode without that. We get it, there's a lot of doom and gloom in the world and you may already be aware of the stuff going on over there. You also might not listen to Joel's annoying voice reading summaries of war crimes for 15 minutes straight. If you want to skip to where we start talking about the lessons to take away for America, go to 35:38. If you want to skip to where Joel and Naomi talk about what is giving us hope and how to fight back, skip to 49:10Here's a piece above passive voice used by media for the current conflict...and here's a piece from 2001 pointing out the exact same thing being done for Israel/Palestine issues.Here's some information about oil deposits in Palestine. Here's some information on settler's developing Gazan real estate. Here's the article "I don't know how you explain why you should care about other people."Joel didn't fully explain the Emily's List/UDP connection. This article goes into more detail. Instagram has started suppressing political content: Go to Settings,  Suggested Content, and make sure to allow "Political Content" from all users if you want to see independent groups taking action. Here are some charities to look at:eSims for GazaPious ProjectsUNRWAPalestine HealHere's some resources on starting a union:UFCW guideAFL-CIO guideWired has a decent guide to attending protests - dig deeper if you're interested:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload. Support the show

Sarah E. Hill created a groundbreaking book that takes us on a journey through the complex relationship between women's health and hormonal contraception. In the first part of this podcast series, we explore the relationship between female hormones, the brain and, how those hormones play such a vital role in every day life.DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload tSupport the showSupport the show

Sarah E. Hill created a groundbreaking book that takes us on a journey through the complex relationship between women's health and hormonal contraception. In the second part of this podcast series, we continue to explore the relationship between female hormones, the brain and, how those hormones play such a vital role in every day life.DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload tSupport the showSupport the show

Sarah E. Hill created a groundbreaking book that takes us on a journey through the complex relationship between women's health and hormonal contraception. In the first part of this podcast series, we explore the relationship between female hormones, the brain and, how those hormones play such a vital role in every day life. Other books mentioned in this podcast episode: Half the Sky by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunnDTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestineWe are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload tSupport the show

For Episodes 150/151 we finally got around to discussing what is commonly considered the greatest romcom of all time, When Harry Met Sally. But, in a shocking twist, Joel and Naomi are doing it with their respective partners. This is the Naomi/Len version - check out Ep150 for the Joel/Lauren takes. DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding. Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramHealPalestine We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload them. Support the show

For Episodes 150/151 we finally got around to discussing what is commonly considered the greatest romcom of all time, When Harry Met Sally. But, in a shocking twist, Joel and Naomi are doing it with their respective partners. This is the Joel/Lauren version - check out Ep151 for the Naomi/Len takes. Joel and Lauren discuss all the reasons this film works really well, ranging from tight writing to strong characters who aren't morally pure and perfect. We also talk a bit about the background of the film's development and what other writer's could learn from it as well as some miscellaneous trivia.  This is a good romcom, fellas - give it a watch. DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food Program We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload them. Support the show

We wrap up our favorite sex book of the year (so far at least, Joel hasn't read Emily Nagoski's Come Together quite yet...) with Vanessa's last few pieces of advice. We dig into sex menus, sexual personality types, exploration, the "first pancake" rule, and the "F First" principle, all incredibly useful pieces of advice to keep your sex life going strong or bring it back from the dead.  Find a non-AI-written copy of the book here. All credit to Simon and Schuster for use of their cover art. Find a copy of a partner sex survey here. All credit to Marvin Gaye for use of "Let Get it On."DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramWe are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload tSupport the showSupport the show

In part two of Sex Talks we discuss how to have good conversations with your partner, how to start bringing more explicit topics with them, how to improve your mental and physical connection, and how to destigmatize touch in your relationships. Find a non-AI-written copy of the book here. All credit to Simon and Schuster for use of their cover art. DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramWe are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload tSupport the show

Our podcast about sex, dating, and relationships finally gets around to discussing a book specifically about sex. None of this conversation is really explicit and the skills we discuss here are applicable in everyday life, but if you don't want to hear us make references to sex acts, maybe skip this one.In part one we discuss how Joel was scammed into buying an AI-written or ripoff copy of the text prior to finding an actual copy, why talking about sex is hard,  the factors that usually make relationship sex lives worse over time,  and some strategies to begin diagnosing your understanding of sex expectations and what you want out of your sex life. Boy, we are going to use the word "sex" a lot when discussing this. Find a non-AI-written copy of the book here. All credit to Simon and Schuster for use of their cover art.  DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.Islamic Relief USAWorld Food ProgramWe are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload tSupport the show

This time we chose some questions that were less likely to lead to arguments and more likely to spur conversations about relationship conduct in weird situations. We chatter mindlessly about a few topics, ranging from working out with partners to demanding half your husband's company to breaking up with partners after cancer treatment to laughing at your husband when his demanded paternity test proves he's in fact the father. Boy, so many people are happy and well-adjusted in this day and age. This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. Yeah, we're still doing that. Genocide isn't going anyway anytime soon. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community. Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it. Support the showSupport the show

We finally finish Steve Harvey's second awful relationship book, having learned far too much about his past and horrible parenting style in the process. We wrap up with his thoughts on nagging (or as he calls it, the "N-word"), some mixed advice on money in relationships, and his baffling list of commandments for men to keep their wife happy that, per him, no man would ever follow. Not amazing content, but maybe lightyears beyond the advice of his other books "Act Like a Success, Think Like a Success," or "Take a Leap of Faith to a Life of Abundance."We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon. This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. Yeah, we're still doing that. Genocide isn't going anyway anytime soon. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community. Support the show

Joel and Naomi sit down to discuss their thoughts on the new Sydney Sweeney/Glen Powell romcom, a fairly good version of the "rich pretty people fall in love in a pretty place" subgenre. Very few spoilers in this one outside of some stuff concerning the ending: we're more interested in talking about the leads, how this film is helping to destroy the Australian economy, and some very weird writing stuff concerning the choices in the ending. All credit to Universal for use of their trailer audio and poster. This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. Yeah, we're still doing that. Genocide isn't going anyway anytime soon. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community. Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it. Support the show

Naomi and Joel meet to discuss how they improved in 2023 (and share a lot of good recipes in the process),  develop a good relationship maxim to live by in 2024, and analyze the dating trends of 2023 and 2024. Joel and Naomi also make some predictions of their own for 2024, mostly negative stuff about politics and the future of AI-tech.  Crispy Korean ChickpeasMango PiePear SorbetAn Amazing Tomato PieThis month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. Yeah, we're still doing that. Genocide isn't going anyway anytime soon. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community. Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it. Support the show

In part 2 (we're sorry, there's a lot to discuss and our thoughts can't fit within the neat hourly format of a weekly podcast) we discuss some of the other plotlines in Love, Actually, including the HR-horrifying story of the PM and Natalie, sex pervert Colin and the foxy Wisconsin babes, the horribly miscast Alan Rickman and his hot secretary, sad Leslie Nielsen and his adorable son, and the nearly forgetable but also kinda tragic Laura Linney plot. We also wrap up by discussing the way this film treats women and portrays men, noting some of the not-so-awesome messages that both this film and the follow-up communicate. Again, not the worst thing in the world to watch, but boy, watch your media with a somewhat skeptical eye.  All credit to StudioCanal for use of their poster and Billy Mack's "Christmas is All Around."  We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon. This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. Yeah, we're still doing that. Genocide isn't going anyway anytime soon. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community. Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it. Support the show

People kept telling us to watch this cult classic holiday romcom. Not sure if that was because they thought we'd enjoy it or because we might have opinions on it. And oh boy, do we have opinions on this. Lest you call us long-winded, we're actually discussing two films in this two-parter, Love, Actually and Red Nose Day, Actually, the pseudo-sequel from 2017. In this first part we discuss some of the reasons this film might have enduring popularity, the clever (or lazy) writing structure Richard Curtis employs, and the Colin Firth, Billy Mack, and Kiera Knightley plots. Joel also discusses his theory that this film is secretly winking at the audience over how obvious/lazy it is at times but Naomi refuses to buy his Adam Sandler-based proof. All credit to StudioCanal for use of their poster. We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it. Support the show

Well Steve had a good week last time but he makes up for lost time by cranking the misogyny button back up to 10 in chapter 7-9. In this part we learn from Steve how women must always be well-dressed and sexy to attract Mr Right, how if men cheat it's probably because their wife wasn't dressed sexy enough, how men are insatiable lust machines who need to have sex all the time, and how if women put out they'll be just like a piece of used-up chewing gum that no one wants. No problematic  notions here, nosireebob. We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon. This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. Yeah, we're still doing that. Genocide isn't going anyway anytime soon. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community. Support the show

Yes, we know we're getting dangerously close to making 15 parts out of this like WWDL but we promise this will be wrapped up soon. Steve has a lot to say though and he throws us a curveball this time by, and this is shocking, actually offering some good relationship advice. Not great advice, and Joel still has plenty of bones to pick mind you, but good enough that we might feel comfortable recommending this over many other books we've discussed. Low bar, we know. In chapters 4 and 5 Steve discusses first the shocking fact that sugar daddies might not be interested in long-term relationships and then gives women some pointers on what to do if they've been dating for awhile and their partner hasn't proposed or committed. There's plenty of misogyny but also some good rules of thumb and insight into what you can reasonably expect from a partner. Nothing ground-breaking but with Steve even sometimes even lame advice can feel like a breath of fresh air. We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Except this one. Joel may have been picking his nose in this one. Find those on our Patreon. This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. Yeah, we're still doing that. Genocide isn't going anyway anytime soon. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community. Support the show

Naomi runs some thorny AITA questions past Joel, who recorded this both recovering from a surgery,  coming down from a head cold, and hopped up on Benadryl.  He's mostly coherent, but if you're wondering why he goes weird places with the material Naomi gave him...it was probably the narcotics. We talk about some fun stuff, ranging from girlfriends who don't like their partners showing up drunk to the ethics of liking sexy Instagram model photos,  to spouses who break up because of climate change concerns. We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon. This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community. Support the show

We return to Steve, who's still doing his best to redeem his legacy, convince readers he's not full of it, and prove he's a great father. Unfortunately, he opens chapters 2 and 3 by talking about how he never talked to his daughter one-on-one until she was 13, so it's an uphill battle. Nonetheless.Chapters 2 and 3 cover Steve's advice on dating men of different ages and his attempt to dispel some "myths" surrounding men's desire to date successful women. Not all of this advice is bad but there's ongoing themes once again of Steve presenting incredibly weak versions of arguments and claiming success when he's easily able to refute them, women needing to do all the work in a relationships, and Steve attempting to dismiss any bad behavior/toxic worldviews of men. A great redemption arc, for sure. We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon. This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. Yeah, we're still doing that. Genocide isn't going anyway anytime soon. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community. Support the show

Thankfully for our podcast it turns out our long-running relationship-advice nemesis Brodrick published even more dating advice content after 2009. A pseudo-sequel to his "Act Like a Lady" book, Straight Talk is Steve's purported attempt to clarify some of his more controversial statements from that text and provide even more insight into the inner world of men. Unfortunately, our exploration of the first part found that these efforts only reveal how bad and inapplicable his first advice was, how his own life story contradicts key parts of his core beliefs, and how bad of a parent he is.  This part also has the added bonus of Naomi having absolutely no idea what we'd be discussing and being bowled over by the audacity of her cohost to bring her back into Steve's orbit once more. Fun stuff. We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon. This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. Yeah, we're still doing that. Genocide isn't going anyway anytime soon. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community. Support the show

Joel and Naomi get together once more to talk about America's least depressing and/or controversial topic, abortion. We go over what the recent elections mean for abortion politics, where anti-abortion groups are headed next, and some of the dangers women are still facing before Joel launches into a completely unrelated bit meant entirely to distract from our bleak choice of topic. It's good, we promise.Check out arizonaforabortionaccess.org to learn more about the ballot initiative trying to get abortion rights enshrined in AZ's constitution and how you can help.  We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon. This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. Yeah, we're still doing that. Genocide isn't going anyway anytime soon. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community. Support the show

Look, we get it, we've spent so much freaking time on this and you just want us to move on and discuss more amusing anecdotes about AI dating apps telling people to kill the Queen of England (real thing that happened, check out our AI episode). But we think most people aren't going to spend 15 hours listening to our critiques so here's a abbreviated summary of what's in the book and why its wrong. Obviously we go into a lot more detail in the episodes about each specific chapter (and you get the benefit of listening to Naomi's horrified reactions in the moment), but if you want the quick and dirty of why this book sucks, this is the ep for you. Joel discusses the background of the book, the horrible arguments in each chapter, and the overall philosophical/political ideas that underlay the more obvious dating advice.  We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Except this one. No one wants to see Joel talking to himself for over an hour. Find those on our Patreon. This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community. Support the show

It's over. We did it. We finished the book. We're lying completely exhausted on the side of Mount Doom like we've just thrown the Ring of Power into a volcano (which we guess we kind of did).Join us as we discuss the convoluted and nonsensical finale to this book, a contradictory mess of random pseudo-philosophical musings that contradict nearly all of the major ideas discussed in prior chapters. Aaron didn't know how to wrap this one up so he kind of throws his entire philosophy at the wall but fails to provide any practical advice that readers can conclude on. We discuss why his platonic ideal of a man living his best life is a huge loser, why the Tinder Swindler story doesn't represent how all women approach dating, and why his assumption that all women will always break up with even the most successful men is not borne out by the data. We will do a follow-up episode where we attempt to summarize the whole text and provide some better dating advice than this drivel: not sure when it'll be out, but keep your eyes to the horizon. Joel is also trying to option his 200 page outline for these episodes as an HBO mini-series; let us know if you have any Hollywood connections. We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon. This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community. Support the show

Well, the tech bros have fizzled out on crypto and NFTs and finally stumbled onto a technology that actually impacts dating, generative AI. We get together to discuss what the technology is, how unethical its creation was (and continues to be),  the emergence of easily-accessible deepfake technology, and all the cool new AI-apps that can improve your profile photos, give you awesome pickup lines, and support your plans to kill major world leaders. We also touch upon how laws to tackle these issues aren't always perfect, how the technology's abuse isn't easily regulated, and ways you can sorta prevent some of the worst abuses from happening to you. Fun stuff.  We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon. This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.  Support the show

Chapter 7 is over. Done. Finished. Finito. It didn't go down without a fight though: Aaron felt the need to express some truly baffling non-sequitur opinions in his discussion of men freeing themselves from the yoke that is women, including the idea that Buddhism doesn't approve of any form of romantic desire,  that if men stopped dating they could retire with $6.9 million in the bank (but only if you start investing at age 18 with $260k in the bank),  and that women have literally created no part of western civilization.  He also continues to not provide any tangible advice that might help people trying to find their way in the difficult world of dating but we're not sure if that's because he genuinely has nothing useful to say or because  he just wanted to wrap up the book at this point. We didn't let any of this bs fly though: Joel and Naomi did our best to verbally smack him around a bit before we laid this chapter to rest, once and for all. For the record, Joel was wrong about the San Francisco gender ratio but right about the Bible Belt.  We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon. This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.  Support the show

We're going to make it after all. We're through the worst of it and finally can see the end, chapter 7 and the rest of this horrid book will be done in no time. This time we hone in a bit on Aaron; Joel brings in an incredibly awkward anecdote from one of his other books (yes, Joel read another Aaron book...) that helps illustrate his perspective on human interactions and makes it clear he's not the expert on dating that he might want people to believe. We also discuss why its toxic to try to cut women out of your life, how people should recognize there are factors outside of their control that have an inordinate amount of influence over how they turn out in life, and once again how none of this advice is actually helpful even for readers who have drunk the Kool-Aid and are earnestly looking to change their lives. Joel also debuts his newest bit "Anewsments," which is just his way of bringing current events into the show again. He's so transparent.  We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon. This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.  Support the show

Lauren comes back after nearly a year hiatus to discuss the best relationship and dating questions from r/AITA and r/AITAH. Unlike the mishmosh questions from prior episodes, this episode is all wedding-themed because she and Joel are planning a wedding and dreading what horrors await them as they approach their big day.  Come listen to us discuss how to deal with parents asking for a wedding invite for their relationship "third," how to respond when someone attempts to propose in the middle of the wedding dances,  and whether or not to invite your "kissing cousins" to your wedding. Come for the drama, stay for some wedding planning advice.If you want to support Desert Paws you can find their website here,This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.  Support the show