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On this episode, Jeremy and Justin talk about all things Arrow Out. Show Notes: Dream Center https://www.springfielddreamcenter.com Annual Event Registration https://my.onecause.com/event/organizations/sf-0013c00001pde7NAAQ/events/vevt:da3e7f60-d849-415c-bd88-43a1b25c746c/home/story https://www.northpointchurch.tv/give

Through a dramatic representation, quotes, and examples, I walk you through how six dimensions of what it means for you to love yourself and others.  By bringing in the pioneering work of IFS therapist Derek Scott, we will explore how different parts within you respond to grief and loss in so many different ways.   Lead in: Lead-in Intro  Letter  Ron's reactions   Intro We are together in this great adventure, this podcast, Interior Integration for Catholics, we are journeying together, and I am honored to be able to spend this time with you.   I am Dr. Peter Malinoski, clinical psychologist and passionate Catholic and together, we are taking on the tough topics that matter to you.   We bring the best of psychology and human formation and harmonize it with the perennial truths of the Catholic Faith.    Interior Integration for Catholics is part of our broader outreach, Souls and Hearts bringing the best of psychology grounded in a Catholic worldview to you and the rest of the world through our website soulsandhearts.com  Today's episode, number 82 is entitled "The Many Faces of Grief Inside Us  and it's released on August 23, 2021  Heard a reenacted story about Ronald and Vivian Meerkamp, and I'll be using that clip throughout todays episode to add depth and examples to the concepts  In the last episode, Episode 81, we broached There is so much misinformation out there about grief.  So many myths, so many misconceptions to clear up.  Why is that?  We're going to answer that question with the professional research, the best of psychological theory, with Scripture, with poetry, with examples and with quotes to help you understand the experience of grief -- your grief and the grief of others.   Why should we learn about grief?  Earl Grollman sums it up like this: Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.  If we love, we will grieve.  Part of loving well is grieving well.   If we flee from grief, we will also flee from love.    You can't love without eventually grieving   Last episode, I mentioned how our understanding of grief can be limited by assuming we have a single, homogenous monolithic personality. Today I'm going to share with you a much deeper and richer way to understand grief. From Episode 72 What Keeps You from Loving?  Is it Really Only Your Vices?  Discussion of Dimensions of Understanding Others or Ourselves.  -- We will get into that more today.  0 Dimensions -- single point in space -- geometry, no dimensionality.  Personalizing it -- you are nothing to me.   No separate identity, not even really human, invisible -- the person doesn't exist for you.   “Love is not cold and what is cold is not love.” ― Marty Rubin  “Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -- the apathy of human beings.”― Helen Keller  “Indifference is more truly the opposite of love than hate is, for we can both love and hate the same person at the same time, but we cannot both love and be indifferent to the same person at the same time.” ― Peter Kreeft, Prayer For Beginners  Examples: Emotional detachment:  Ron -- fear of loss.    1 Dimension -- line   Only one quality -- very self-referential, the person in orbit around me and my needs.   Often only a functional dimension, or not meeting a function “That politicians   who smiled at us and kissed our babiesblue eyes shining with triumphwell knew we were fallinginto our graveskicked by themas they countedour votes.”― Alice Walker, Taking the Arrow Out of the Heart  “What we do see depends mainly on what we look for. ... In the same field the farmer will notice the crop, the geologists the fossils, botanists the flowers, artists the colouring, sportsmen the cover for the game. Though we may all look at the same things, it does not all follow that we should see them.” ― John Lubbock, The Beauties of Nature and the Wonders of the World We Live in  For Vivian:  In her pain and loneliness, part of her takes over reduces Ron to one dimension:  cold, distant, ignores me -- reduces Ron to one dimension -- in order to protect herself from him.   For Ron blended with his angry part who is protecting him from agonizing pain from abandonment:  Vivian is a Betrayer -- She betrayed me, she is a traitor, a backstabber, she hurts me.   Still very personalized, very self-referential 2 Dimensions -- plane -- starts to be a little Less personal, less self-referential Cardboard Cutout-- person has a shape, not well understood.   Ron ignores me and is self absorbed.  But it's because of his job.  He shuts down emotions because of what he sees as a detective “It is a well-worn truth that cops grow callous, a cliché so tattered that it is even common on television. All cops face things every day that are so gruesome, brutal, and bizarre that no normal human being could deal with them on a daily basis and stay sane. And so they learn not to feel, to grow and maintain a poker-faced whimsy toward all the surprising things their fellow humans find to do to each other. All cops practice not-feeling, and it may be that Miami cops are better at it than others, since they have so many opportunities to learn.”  Jeff Lindsay, Dexter is Delicious   Vivian is a betrayer and a traitor.  But she's misguided -- she's reacting out of ignorance and emotion and because she doesn't understand me.  3 Dimensions -- taking into account much more of the person, providing a more complete snapshot of a moment in time  Person has A whole internal world  Many dimensions  Many competing values at one time.  Needs -- attachment needs and integrity needs  Emotions  Belief.   Thought  Intentions  Desires  Attitudes  Impulses.  relationships  Maybe even multiple points of view inside at the same time.  With conflicts and polarizations inside -- Vivian is betraying me and harming me and she's misguided, reacting out of ignorance and emotion, but she also really loves our kids.  And she's good at her job.  Vivian has mixed reactions to me.   4 Dimensions -- out of basic geometry now and into physics.  The four dimension is physics assesses an object's position in time.  Analogy to a person's position in time.   Dynamism of the person in time. She can be one way in one moment and another way in another moment  Realization of an experiential history -- that informs how she has come to be who she is now   Vivian has been miserable for a long time.  This has been building up. Vivian reacts to me differently at different times.   The future for us might not look like it does right now.   Ron ignores me and he is self-absorbed because of his job.  But he has choses his job over me.  He's afraid he's too damaged to do any other kind of work.  He's locked in.   5th Dimension --  dimension unseen by humans where the forces of gravity and electromagnetism unite in an elegant and powerful theory of the fundamental forces Like a shift from black and white to color -- like in the Wizard of OZ    Understanding the other person in terms of self and parts -- unity and multiplicity Part of her is miserable -- part of her wants to stay in relationship   If you really love someone, you love all of them, all of their parts.  Not just the parts of them that you like, that you find gratifying or useful, that float your boat for one reason or another.  You don't pick and choose -- oooo, this is an appealing bit of you, I like it that you compliment me and make me feel good, I'll take that in and love that, but parts of you carrying grief, your pain your loss  -- no time for that.  You just keep that to yourself.   Audre Lorde, Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches “I find I am constantly being encouraged to pluck out some one aspect of myself and present this as the meaningful whole, eclipsing or denying the other parts of self.”   6th Dimension -- no longer in just the natural world.   Seeing him as a beloved Child of God through the eyes of Faith, as God sees him.   Fearfully and wonderfully made, bearing God's image and likeness.   Intrinsically good, ontologically good, good in her essence.   Requires supernatural grace Three Dimensional Chess What we covered last time in Episode 81 Grieving is the Price We Pay for Loving Introduction to Derek Scott Derek Scott is a registered Social Worker with 35 years of experience and certified IFS therapist with an online practice based near Toronto, Canada.  He is the founder of Internal Family Systems Counselling Association, IFSCA, an organization dedicated to bringing awareness of the IFS model to counselors and therapists in Canada and internationally. Stepping Stone: 16 week Comprehensive IFS course --  I  recommend that as a great option, especially for those who can't get in to IFS Level 1 training.   Number of publications in the area of grief and Internal Family Systems.  And he is no stranger to grief in his own life, so he can speak from experience.   Relying heavily on his article Grief and IFS: Mapping the Terrain  What happens to parts when we experience grief? The experiences I'm about to describe are not the parts themselves.  Definition of a part --  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has an image of God and also its own understanding of self.   More than just one factor  More than just one emotion, more than just one desire or impulse  Rather -- a whole constellation of these qualities that endure over time, even if the part is not in conscious awareness in the moment.   Like the characters inside of Riley in the Pixar moving "Inside Out" The red anger character also had a full personality -- he was not just an angry mood -- he had beliefs, assumptions, intentions, desires, thoughts, impulses and an interpersonal style that were characteristically and uniquely his own.   Managers who present with disbelief  numbness  Depression  Guilt  Spiritual bypassing Exiles who present with Sadness  Missing/yearning  Protest (anger)  guilt  powerlessness/despair/resignation  Shame Common Exiles and Affect-laden parts Derek Scott:  When I am talking about exiles here I am not assuming that there is a part that is “only” sad or   guilty etc, but that the part leads with that feeling. Remember, parts are like complete personalities --many dimensions Some dimensions are more prominent than others.   Definition of Exiles most sensitive -- these exiles have been exploited, rejected, abandoned in external relationships  They have suffered relational traumas or attachment injuries  They hold the painful experiences that have been isolated from conscious awareness to protect the person from being overwhelmed with the intensity.  They desperately want to be seen and known, to be safe and secure, to be comforted and soothed, to be cared for and loved  They want rescue, redemption, healing  And in the intensity of their needs and emotions, they threaten to take over and destabilize the person's whole being, the person's whole system  And they threaten to harm external relationships  Burdens they carry:  Shame, dependency, worthlessness, Fear/Terror, Grief/Loss, Loneliness, Neediness, Pain, lack of meaning or purpose, a sense of being unloved and unlovable, inadequate, abandoned,  Examples of what exiles carry in grief.  Sadness  -- parts that carry unresolved sadness from childhood. parents dismiss or minimize the experience of losing a pet, or moving house, or changing school, divorce etc, parts that experience the distress become exiled protectors may mimic the parental injunctions to ignore the agitation in the system. I had sadness for breakfast.  Andy Milonakis Vivian Ron -- Sadness -- expressed behaviorally, crying, not feeling.  Body reactions.   Missing/yearning -- Just want what has been lost to come back Parts under six years of age don't recognize the permanence of loss -- why can't I have it back?  Example of blend with a missing/yearning part:  Virginia Woolf  To the Lighthouse:  “To want and not to have, sent all up her body a hardness, a hollowness, a strain. And then to want and not to have- to want and want- how that wrung the heart, and wrung it again and again! Feeling of emptiness, incompleteness -- a void within.   Fernando Pessoa, The Education of the Stoic  -- example of what can happen when an exile floods with a sensation of a void:  “At first I felt dizzy - not with the kind of dizziness that makes the body reel but the kind that's like a dead emptiness in the brain, an instinctive awareness of the void.”  Viviaxxxn -- familiar -- yearning for companionship --  Trying to tell herself that Ron wasn't capable, no capacity, too damaged to fill her yearning.   Replacement for God.   Protest (anger) Reaction to perceived injustice.  This is not right!   May be deemed unacceptable and displaced to a safer person or to a situation. e.g. anger toward the deceased  Anger toward someone I need and fear  Women may be more likely to be socialized into rejecting their own anger -- good girls, or not wanted to be seen as scolds or shrews or bitches   “The anger welled inside me, with nowhere to go. I could feel it eating away at me. I knew if I didn't find a way to release it, it would destroy me.” ― Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl, Sublimes creatures  Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Ange l“There was something peculiarly gratifying about shouting in a blind rage until your words ran out. Of course, the aftermath was less pleasant. Once you'd told everyone you hated them and not to come after you, where exactly did you go?” Guilt   Goes back to childhood:   Children's guilt can be so huge in relation to the crime (“I stole my brother's candy bar and blamed the dog”) Peeing outside “I've got a bad case of the 3:00 am guilts - you know, when you lie in bed awake and replay all those things you didn't do right? Because, as we all know, nothing solves insomnia like a nice warm glass of regret, depression and self-loathing.” ― D.D. Barant, Dying Bites  powerlessness/despair/resignation parts recognise that we are powerless to change the reality of attaching and losing and that   loss is certain and inevitable -- heavy burden, other parts not able to handle that Fantasies of omnipotence -- service of feeling safe and secure.   Now what? “I had the feeling deep in my gut that there'd been lines I should have spoken, gestures I should have made, that would have made things better. But looking back, I didn't know what they were. As a friend, I was pretty much useless, apparently.” ― Megan Crewe, Give Up the Ghost  Shame Episodes 37-49 -- long series on shame  Shame is:  a primary emotion, a bodily reaction, a signal,  a judgement, and an action.   Deep sense of fundamental inadequacy, irreparable brokenness, unhealable woundedness, intrinsic badness, fundamental unworthiness.  Differs from guilt.  Guilt:  I did something bad.  Shame.  I am bad.  Managers Present First -- disbelieving and numbing These are the proactive protector parts.  They work strategically, with forethought and planning to keep in control of situations and relationships to minimize the likelihood of you being hurt.  They work really hard to keep you safe.   Disbelieving  Managers What they say:  "This can't have happened"  or "This can't be happening."   Computer crashing -- the blue screen of death -- goes all the way back to Windows 1.0 in 1985.  indicates a system crash, in which the operating system has reached a critical condition where it can no longer operate hardware failure or a unexpected termination of a crucial process.   Hours of work lost  Their Role, their function Derek Scott:  Disbelieving managers may take the lead as the other parts of the system impacted by the loss are afforded time to adjust to the new reality. It is as if the sad, yearning, guilty and protesting parts sit behind the protectors that allow the information to be gradually filtered to them.  Example of Ron:  He could function that evening, make himself dinner, finish a report on an investigation, carry on at work the next day.    Colloquial phrase:  It hasn't hit him yet.  Replay the clip of Ron's disbelief Numbing Managers What they say:  They don't say anything, really.   they don't let you feel anything in conscious awareness.  Survival mechanism.  So you can deal with daily tasks.   Can last a long time.   Never a perfect barrier though -- it gets pierced by what Therese Rando calls STUGs Sudden, Temporary Upsurges of grief Those are the rejected exiles who bear grief breaking through and flooding with the intensity of their suffering.   Depressed Managers  Reactive depressed mood is a part of grief Attempt to titrate the grief.  Fighting fire with fire, fighting the intense depression with more manageable depression.   Still holding the exiles that bear the intensity of grief at bay.   Guilt carrying managers reflect on the “bad” things they said and did in the relationship.  The manager protector's voice telling us we “should” have done more, “should have been a better  spouse/friend/kid  These are the parts experiencing guilt but also defending against exiles with huge guilt going back to childhood.    Guilty parts stating that they didn't do enough or weren't present enough in the relationship may be unaware of the demands that other parts make on the system. Spiritual Bypassing Managers -- common in serious, practicing Catholics Spiritual Bypassing:  John Welwood 1984  "tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks."  Spiritual bypassing is a term I coined to describe a process I saw happening in the Buddhist community I was in, and also in myself. Although most of us were sincerely trying to work on ourselves, I noticed a widespread tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks. Examples Death of a loved one:  External focus:  He's in a better place.  He's in heaven now.  See this all the time at Catholic funerals, a de factor canonizations at the eulogies.   Vivian:  God will take care of Ron now, there's nothing more I can do.  We'll just focus on the positive, the good times we had.  When I feel bad about how it worked out, I'll just pray the sadness away.   Ron.  When God closes a door, he opens a window.  He likely has a better woman for me in the future.  And he'll punish Vivian for what she's done.  Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord.  She'll get what she deserves from him.   Manager Actions -- Straight from Derek Scott's article Grief and IFS: Mapping the Terrain Postponing – agreeing that there is griefwork to be done but “later”. When asked to be specific about “when” these parts become evasive or propose a future time that subsequently is not used for doing the work   Displacing – as mentioned earlier with regard to anger, the emotional responses connected to parts grieving the loss are displaced onto other targets; being sad about a movie, angry about poor service in a restaurant etc. Replacing – reinvesting too quickly after a significant loss, often a strategy in reproductive loss and loss of an animal companion Minimizing – cognitively diluting the experience of parts with big feelings by framing the relationship as one that “wasn't really that close” Avoiding – not going to the gravesite or talking about the loss. Removing pictures and not going to places that will evoke memories of the deceased and activate the exiled parts Somaticizing – bringing physical distress into the system (migraines, gastrointestinal distress, sleep disturbances) to distract from or channel the emotional responses of exiled parts  Particularly, when we're little if the grief is not supported, then it goes into the body. Shaming – particularly present in disenfranchised grief, shaming protectors will reinforce the social belief about the loss being one that the person is not “entitled” to grieve. Miscarriage, loss of a child who is a rapist, death of a spouse to AIDS; these are examples of losses that may carry a stigma or be trivialized by the broader community Firefighters  Definition When exiles break through and threaten to take over the system, like in Inside Out, remember the parts and the control panel?  So when these exiles are about the break out, the firefighters leap into action.  It's an emergency situation, a crisis, like a fire raging in a house.  No concern for niceties, for propriety, for etiquette, for little details like that.   Firefighter take bold, drastic actions to stifle, numb or distract from the intensity of the exile's experiences.   Intense neediness and grief are overwhelming us!  Emergency actions -- battle stations!   Evasive maneuvers, Arm the torpedoes, Full speed ahead!  No concern for consequences -- don't you get it, we are in a crisis  Parts can take over the person   Firefighter behaviors Drinking, using drugs  Raging  Watching TV, videos, binging on Netflix  Food bingeing -- chocolate for me.  Losses or grief about relationships -- Grace in the Poor Clare monastery.   Sex bingeing  Overworking   Identity Issues -- the disruption caused by not knowing who I am may open the door to behaviors previously prohibited by managers.   New firefighter activities.       Adapted Dual Process Model of Bereavement Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut originally the DPM in 1999 Death Studies article called The dual process model of coping with bereavement: rationale and description  Derek Scott adapted this model  two clusters of parts one cluster is oriented towards the loss -- those are the parts we've been discussing so far  Focus on experiencing grief Focus on continuing relationship bonds Distraction from restoration Avoidance of restoration the other cluster towards restoration dealing with the new complexities in life for the bereaved that are occasioned by the loss  Readjusting to the new reality -- conforms to Elisabeth Kubler Ross' stage of acceptance and Colin Parkes' phase of reorganization and recovery   Activities Attending to live changes  New roles, new relationships  Distraction from grief  Avoidance of grief   The dual process model of coping with bereavement (DPM) identifies (from an IFS perspective) contends that these two models (clusters) oscillate as the mourning proceeds. the grieving individual at times confronts, at other times avoids, the different tasks of grieving.  This model proposes that adaptive coping is composed of confrontation--avoidance of loss and restoration stressors. It also argues the need for dosage of grieving, that is, the need to take respite from dealing with either of these stressors, as an integral part of adaptive coping.   This oscillation is very familiar to the IFS therapist as affect-laden parts may occupy the attention of the client, then pragmatic protectors may hold the floor to afford a break from the intensity of the other parts. The dance between the loss-oriented cluster of parts and the restoration oriented cluster of parts tends to be initially weighted towards the loss. Over time the restoration cluster of parts will become more prominent as the client lives into what may be considered to be the "new normal". Compassion Heals: An IFS perspective on Bereavement -- From Derek Scott.   Compassion heals. Bringing compassion to another invites their compassion for their own parts  The more significant the loss, the more profound the disruption to the system The system responses to the loss may be manager led, firefighter driven or characterized by erupting exiles The protective system may be in disarray and unable to function normally; resulting in the client feeling particularly vulnerable The protective system may become entrenched because of the perceived threat from or to the exiles  Present loss experiences may trigger parts connected to former loss events seeking healing  Unburdening parts in the loss cluster will facilitate healing and greater resiliency in terms of subsequent losses Advantages of IFS-informed understandings of grief  Last episode, we looked at the stage and phase models of grief trajectories Elisabeth Kubler Ross' five stages of grief DABDA -- denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.   Colin Parkes' model Shock and numbness, yearning and searching, disorganization and despair, reorganization and recovery How the empirical trajectory of grief didn't support a linear progression through the stages or phases Still valuable in describing experiences at a moment in time The myth of the unified, homogenous, monolithic personality really compromises our ability to understand grief.   Identity Issues -- not as often address Low self-esteem  Who am I now, that I am no longer married?  I am a widower   But now, understanding the person in terms of a core self and in parts, both a multiplicity but also a unity.   And why, again?  Why are we doing this?  In order to increase our capacity to love.  That's why.   Final thought from Derek Scott  --  Grief has its own timetable. There is a lot of wisdom in the system regarding when to allow access to affect-laden parts. There are, of course, frustrated, impatient parts that want it to be "over" so that the system can return to normal functioning. There may also be postponing managers (see "complicated grief”). Respecting protective parts saying, "We're not going there now" and asking them about their concerns, as well as when would be a good time to "go there "and what would need to change to allow access provides us with an understanding of how to best work with the system. Being patient  Accepting all parts as they are, where they are.  That does not mean we endorse all of their impulses or desires.  Check out Episode 66  Acceptance vs. Endorsement: A Critical Difference in Catholic Marriages.   Lots of gratitude for Derek Scott's work on IFS and Grief.   I am going to try something really new in the next episode.  In this episode and the last episode, I've brought you a lot of conceptual information, psychoeducation, all the intellectual material.  That's great for nourishing our conceptual and analytical parts, for feeding our minds.   But next week you will have the possibility to go deeper, not just in the abstract realm, not just in your conceptual zone -- but taking it down deeper inside you.   We will do an exploratory, experiential exercise, all about your personal grief.   We've all had losses.  We've all had the experience of grief We all have things to work through.   So we're going to put all of this information to work in our own human formation, in our own interior integration.  All voluntary -- we'll be working with our parts to make sure we have their buy-in, their consent.  So I invite you to that, we will see how it goes! Action Items  Subscribe on the podcast platform of your choice -- Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Audible Leave reviews and ratings   Give me feedback.  I want to hear from you Conversation hours T, R 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM  317.567.9594  Let me know what you like and don't like podcast -- including these dramatic interpretation -- like I gotta know was this opening lead-in dramatization cringey?  A part of me really wants to know.  It thinks it was cringey.  But it's not about putting together great performances, it's about illustrating the points.  Did that happen?  Let me know.  317.567.9594 or crisis@soulsandhearts.com Let me know what you need and don't need in this podcast Catholic Mental Health professionals -- work with  me in the Interior Therapist Community at Souls and Hearts -- find out how you can join one of my therapist groups, which are starting in September, They are all about working on your human formation, informed by Internal Family Systems and grounded in the Catholic Faith.  Find all the details at soulsandhearts.com/itc.  Email me with questions at crisis@soulsandhearts.com or call me on my cell at 317.567.9594 to find out how we can work together!  Pray for me and for the other listeners   Patroness and Patron IIC 81A Finding the Exiled Grief.   IIC 81T Exercise with Discovering Grieving Parts      

Alice Walker published her first book in 1968, making 2018 the 50th anniversary of her writing career. She's authored dozens of works since then, including poetry, essays, short stories and novels. Alice won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction for her novel The Color Purple, becoming the first African American to receive that honor. Alice Walker is also known for her activism for human rights. Her latest book is a collection of poetry called Taking the Arrow Out of the Heart. Alice talks this hour with Detroit Free Press columnist Rochelle Riley. Rochelle asked Alice what her proudest moment has been so far. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nationalwritersseries/message

Both of us are passionate about taking care of ourselves mentally and physically. During a time of uncertainty, it's important to continue to do what's best for your well-being. We're kicking off our Wellness Kit Series talking about books that keep us motivated and why it is important to B R E A T H E. Mentioned in this episode: The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don't Have with People You Don't Like Doing Things You Don't Want to Do: https://bookshop.org/a/287/9780316270724 Mantras in Motion: Manifesting What You Want Through Mindful Movement: https://bookshop.org/books/mantras-in-motion-manifesting-what-you-want-through-mindful-movement/9781401955298 The Secret of the Yoga Sutra: https://www.amazon.com/Secret-Yoga-Sutra-Samadhi-Pada-ebook/dp/B01069JOPQ Meditations from the Mat: Daily Reflections on the Path of Yoga: https://bookshop.org/books/meditations-from-the-mat-daily-reflections-on-the-path-of-yoga/9780385721547 Self-Inflicted Wounds: Heartwarming Tales of Epic Humiliation: https://bookshop.org/books/self-inflicted-wounds-heartwarming-tales-of-epic-humiliation/9780062223777 Even the Stars Look Lonesome: https://bookshop.org/books/even-the-stars-look-lonesome/9780553379723 Taking the Arrow Out of the Heart: https://bookshop.org/books/taking-the-arrow-out-of-the-heart/9781501179525 Keep in Touch! www.selfcreatedpodcast.com selfcreatedpodcast@gmail.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/selfcreatedpodcast Instagram: www.instagram.com/selfcreatedpodcast Shanika Pichey: www.shanikapichey.com https://www.instagram.com/shanikapichey/ Jernell Simmons: https://www.instagram.com/jsnsimmons/ You can listen on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play. Apple: https://bit.ly/SelfCreated Stitcher:www.stitcher.com/podcast/selfcrea…ylhu3yHTbl-FD4#/ Spotify:open.spotify.com/show/31ZyslqLq5uCE57yUQM2rk Google: https://bit.ly/SelfCreatedGooglePodcasts Breaker: https://www.breaker.audio/self-created Subscribe, Listen, Like, Comment, Share!

In honor of National Poetry Month, we're talking all things poetry for The Stacks Book Club. We're joined again by author, performance artist, and poet Gabrielle Civil, and we're discussing Ntozake Shange's poetry collection, Wild Beauty. If you're intimidated by poetry, you'll love today's episode. We talk about how to approach poetry, where to start, and if there is such thing as a "good" poem (or if that even matters). Plus a whole lot more. There a no spoilers today. Purchase Wild Beauty on IndieBound or Amazon. Everything we talk about on today's episode can be found below in the show notes. The Stacks participates in affiliate programs, and shopping through the links below helps support the show, at no cost to you. Wild Beauty by Ntozake ShangeEp. 55 The Art of Performance with Gabrielle Civil (The Stacks)Ask the Stacks -- askingthestacks@gmail.com Join The Stacks PackEp 162: The best bad ending you'll ever read--Traci Thomas (What Should I Read Next Podcast, Wondery)FREE Audible TrialFor Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf by Ntozake Shange"Obie-Winning Actor Laurie Carlos Dies at 67" ( Ruthie Fierberg, Playbill.com)Jessica HagedornNappy Edges by Ntozake ShangeA Daughter's Geography by Ntozake ShangeRidin' the Moon in Texas by Ntozake ShangeExperiments in Joy by Gabrielle CivilAttack of the Difficult Poems by Charles BernsteinImmortal Poems of the English Language by Oscar WilliamsLouis UntermeyerThe Hollow Men by T.S. EliotMother to Son by Langston HughesTaking the Arrow Out of the Heart by Alice WalkerHenri MatisseSwallow the Fish by Gabrielle Civil Carrie Mae WeemsBarbara Chase-RiboudSally Hemmings by Barbara Chase-RiboudThick by Tressie McMillan CottomWhat Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker by Damon YoungA Brief History of Seven Killings by Marlon JamesIf Beale Street Could Talk by James BaldwinIf Beale Street Could Talk (Barry Jenkins, 2018)Titus Andronicus by William ShakespeareLove's Labour's Lost by William ShakespeareTwelfth Night by William ShakespeareReplicas (Jeffrey Nachmanoff, 2019)What Work Is by Philip LevineHow to Lose A Guy in Ten Days (Donald Petrie, 2003)VS podcast (Poetry Foundation) Don't Call Us Dead by Danez Smith[insert] Boy by Danez SmithSoft Science by Franny ChoiFloating, Brilliant Gone by Fanny ChoiPoetry Foundation--Poetry SubscriptionOcean VuongThe BreakBeat Poets: New American Poetry in the Age of Hip-Hop edited by Kevin Coval, Quraysh Ali Lansana, and Nate MarshallThe BreakBeat Poets Vol. 2: Black Girl Magic edited by Jamila Woods, Mahogany L. Browne, and Idrissa SimmondsPremonitions : The Kaya Anthology of New Asian North American Poetry by Walter LewTinderNarrative MuseThe Color Purple (Steven Spielberg, 1985)The Color Purple by Alice WalkerTiffany HaddishZoe SaldanaNina (Cynthia Mort, 2016)Center Stage (Nicholas Hytner, 2000)Debbie AllenMarsai MartinLittle (Tina Gordon, 2019)Sweet Honey and the RockSalt by Nayyirah Waheednejma by Nayyirah Waheed Connect with Gabrielle's: Gabrielle's Facebook | Gabrielle's Website Connect with The Stacks: Instagram | The Stacks Website | Facebook | Twitter | Subscribe | Patreon | Goodreads | Traci's Instagram To contribute to The Stacks, join The Stacks Pack, and get exclusive perks, check out our Patreon page. We are beyond grateful for anything you're able to give to support the production of this show. If you prefer to do a one time contribution go to paypal.me/thestackspod. Sponsors Audible- to get your FREE audiobook download and FREE 30 day trial go to audibletrial.com/thestacks. The Stacks participates in affiliate programs. We receive a small commission when products are purchased through links on this website, and this comes at no cost to you. Shopping through these links helps support the show, but does not effect opinions on books and products. For more information click here.

In this solocast, Song Bee speaks intimately about discovering you possibly have haters and how to shift energy and by negating theirs. She talks about Cardi B's rant against haters on social media telling them to leave her and her child alone.  She's tough, but is this celebrity thing getting to her?  Alice Walker is someone who knows how to mitigate negativity and get through the storms.  She was in Berkeley lecturing and promoting her new book Taking the Arrow Out of the Heart, a of collection of poetry.  Queen Alice is the SheRise-SheRose Shero of the week.

Alice Walker is famous for prose books such as The Color Purple and In Search of Our Mothers' Gardens. But her first book was a collection of poems and she has published eight more. Alice talks about her latest, Taking the Arrow Out of the Heart, which ranges from poems of rage about injustice, poems of praise to great figures - BB King for instance - and celebration of the ordinary like making frittatas. Japanese artist Yayoi Kusama is known for her pumpkin installations and her obsession with polka dots. A new documentary charts her career beginning in New York in the 1950s during the Pop Art movement, where she became well known for her provocative immersive exhibitions and performances. It covers her return to Japan in middle-age, checking herself into a psychiatric hospital and fading from public view, to her current status as the world's bestselling living female artist. The film-maker Heather Lenz tells us about her documentary. Alongside the film, a new show of Yayoi Kusama's recent work opens this week in London. Jacky Klein reviews.Today is National Poetry Day. Twenty years ago, in its first contribution to National Poetry Day, Radio 4 commissioned Sean Street to write a sequence of poems based on the network's day. So, Thought for the Day was a poem, there was a poem about the pips - the Greenwich Time Signal - and another on the Shipping Forecast. These were dropped between programmes throughout the day. Twenty years later Front Row has commissioned a new poem from Sean Street on this year's theme of change. He reads it publicly for the first time. Presenter: Gaylene Gould Producer: Julian May

On today's episode, Jill and Adam share the books coming out in October they are most excited for. BUT FIRST... We are in a BIG NAGINI MOOD. We bring on friend of the show and all around rockstar human Jandra Sutton to breakdown the issues we have with the new Fantastic Beasts trailer. We have thoughts, friends. Book mentioned in this episode The Clockmaker's Daughter by Kate Morton The Witch Elm by Tana French The Library Book by Susan Orlean Muse of Nightmares by Laini Taylor All You Can Ever Know by Nicole Chung Killing Commendatore by Haruki Murakami Elevation by Stephen King Taking the Arrow Out of the Heart by Alice Walker (Don't) Call Me Crazy edited by Kelly Jensen Lu by Jason Reynolds Bitter Orange by Claire Fuller The Greatest Love Story Ever Told by Nick Offerman & Megan Mullally Heavy by Kiese Laymon Dear Evan Hansen Val Emmich Author & Steven Levenson Shadow of the Fox by Julie Kagawa Always Look on the Bright Side of Life by Eric Idle I'll Be There for you the one about friends by Kelsey Miller Alice Isn't Dead by Joseph Fink Gmorning, Gnight! by Lin-Manuel Miranda Everything's Trash, But It's Okay by Phoebe Robinson Swing by Kwame Alexander & Mary Rand Hess

This is a black arts and culture site. We will be exploring the African Diaspora via the writing, performance, both musical and theatrical (film and stage), as well as the visual arts of Africans in the Diaspora and those influenced by these aesthetic forms of expression. I am interested in the political and social ramifications of art on society, specifically movements supported by these artists and their forebearers. It is my claim that the artists are the true revolutionaries, their work honest and filled with raw unedited passion. They are our true heroes. Ashay! 1. Judy Juanita, Homeage to the Black Arts Movement: A Handbook, joins us to talk about her reading and panel discussion at African American Museum & Library at Oakland, 659 14th Street, Oakland, this Sat., Sept. 15, 2-4 p.m. on the Black Arts Movement and the 50th Anniversary of the School of Ethnic Studies at SFSU. 2. Wanda Ravernell, Ominra Institute, joins us to talk about the 5th Annual Black-Eyed Pea Festival on the front lawn at Oakland Technical High School.It's free. 3. Rev. Liza Rankow, co-founder, One Life Institute, joins us to talk about Taking the Arrow Out of the Heart: An Evening with Alice Walker & Desert Rose at First Congregational Church of Oakland, Friday, September 21, 7:30 p.m.-10:00 p.m., 2501 Harrison Street, Oakland. For tickets visit: www.onelifeinstitute.org/workshops-events Founded in 1999 by world music composer, Lynne Holmes, Desert Rose is based in Cape Town, South Africa and is widely regarded as leading composers, producers and performers of Universal Sacred World Music. In 2005 Lynne Holmes teamed up with her life partner, Yusuf Ganief, and started an exciting journey through diverse cultures and faith groups from Sufism, Gregorian Chanting to ancient languages including Aramaic, Sanskrit, Hindi, Hebrew and Gurmukhi. Visit https://www.desertrosemusic.co.za/    

This is a black arts and culture site. We will be exploring the African Diaspora via the writing, performance, both musical and theatrical (film and stage), as well as the visual arts of Africans in the Diaspora and those influenced by these aesthetic forms of expression. I am interested in the political and social ramifications of art on society, specifically movements supported by these artists and their forebearers. It is my claim that the artists are the true revolutionaries, their work honest and filled with raw unedited passion. They are our true heroes. Ashay! 1. Judy Juanita, Homeage to the Black Arts Movement: A Handbook, joins us to talk about her reading and panel discussion at African American Museum & Library at Oakland, 659 14th Street, Oakland, this Sat., Sept. 15, 2-4 p.m. on the Black Arts Movement and the 50th Anniversary of the School of Ethnic Studies. 2. Wanda Ravernell, Ominra Institute, joins us to talk about the 5th Annual Black-Eyed Pea Festival on the front lawn at Oakland Technical High School. It is a free event. 3. Rev. Liza Rankow, co-founder, One Life Institute, joins us to talk about Taking the Arrow Out of the Heart: An Evening with Alice Walker & Desert Rose at First Congregational Church of Oakland, Friday, September 21, 7:30 p.m.-10:00 p.m., 2501 Harrison Street, Oakland. For tickets visit: https://www.onelifeinstitute.org/workshops-events Founded in 1999 by world music composer, Lynne Holmes, Desert Rose is based in Cape Town, South Africa and is widely regarded as leading composers, producers and performers of Universal Sacred World Music. In 2005 Lynne Holmes teamed up with her life partner, Yusuf Ganief, and started an exciting journey through diverse cultures and faith groups from Sufism, Gregorian Chanting to ancient languages including Aramaic, Sanskrit, Hindi, Hebrew and Gurmukhi. Visit https://www.desertrosemusic.co.za/ http://tobtr.com/10965175