Dealing With My Grief

I have been away for almost 2 years after going through a health crisis... I'm back and I'd like to thank everyone who reached out to me during my absence. Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify If you are worried about your mental health and want to schedule regular sessions with a professional: www.betterhelp.com/dealingwithmygrief. If you are in immediate crisis and need assistance, call: In the U.S. :National Suicide Prevention Hotline - (800) 2738255 In the UK: supportline - 01 708 765200 Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief Shop on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/?tag=dwmg0c-20&linkCode=ez

IDoes the pain of grief ever sto hurting so much? If so, when? I reflect (and maybey rant) on my experience wih the ebbs and flows that pain brings with grief. Spoiler alert: it begins to hurt less until it doesn't! Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify If you are worried about your mental health and want to schedule regular sessions with a professional: www.betterhelp.com/dealingwithmygrief. If you are in immediate crisis and need assistance, call: In the U.S. :National Suicide Prevention Hotline - (800) 2738255 In the UK: supportline - 01 708 765200 Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief Shop on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/?tag=dwmg0c-20&linkCode=ez

I have returned to podcasting after a long hiatus. While I have had some struggles with my physical health, Im doing well and looking to get better. I've received a lot of email in the last 6 months and today. I'd like to focus on platitutes and the things that people say when we are grieving. Why aren't they helpful? Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify If you are worried about your mental health and want to schedule regular sessions with a professional: www.betterhelp.com/dealingwithmygrief. If you are in immediate crisis and need assistance, call: In the U.S. :National Suicide Prevention Hotline - (800) 2738255 In the UK: supportline - 01 708 765200 Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief Shop on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/?tag=dwmg0c-20&linkCode=ez

As we approach Father's day, it dawned on me that during the Mother's Day/Father's Day period there is a certain segment of the grief population that seem sto be totally ignored... that would be parents who have lost children. I know that people post about loss of all types every day, but during this period I rarely see posts by parents who have lost children but I see a lot of post of individuals mourning their parents. If you have lost a child, i'd like to know how you cope during this time of year, and what it anything can make this time of year a little easier to cope with. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify If you are worried about your mental health and want to schedule regular sessions with a professional: www.betterhelp.com/dealingwithmygrief. If you are in immediate crisis and need assistance, call: In the U.S. :National Suicide Prevention Hotline - (800) 2738255 In the UK: supportline - 01 708 765200 Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

As I release this episode of the podcast, I am remembering my dad's 86th birthday. It also marks the beginning of my mourning period leading to his death anniversary on the 24th. As this is the third year I have had to navigate this anniversary without the words of my mother to comfort me, I try looking  for other ways to keep from focusing to much on my dad's death anniversary. This year 'm trying to be inspired by others. Joe Biden went from losing his wife and daughter just before taking office in the U.S. Senate to becoming the President of the United States. I know that we cant compare grief or grief journeys, but I find it inspiring that someone who has gone through so much, could accomplish as much as he has. Sometimes I think I could learn something from the examples set by others. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify If you are worried about your mental health and want to schedule regular sessions with a professional: www.betterhelp.com/dealingwithmygrief. If you are in immediate crisis and need assistance, call: In the U.S. :National Suicide Prevention Hotline - (800) 2738255 In the UK: supportline - 01 708 765200 Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

Dealing with recent challenges has forced me to re-examine my relationship with the word "help". Being an only chile, I was "forced" to figure most things on my own. Asking for help was something I didn't do often. If I did I'd ask my mother for help. Now that she's gone, I have other's that I can go to, but for me that is often difficult. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify If you are worried about your mental health and want to schedule regular sessions with a professional: www.betterhelp.com/dealingwithmygrief. If you are in immediate crisis and need assistance, call: In the U.S. :National Suicide Prevention Hotline - (800) 2738255 In the UK: supportline - 01 708 765200 Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

We've been dealing with COVID for over a year... During this time their are a lot of things that we've done that we didn't think we could do, things we didn't want to do... but we did them anyway. Needless to say, it has been a rough year. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify If you are worried about your mental health and want to schedule regular sessions with a professional: www.betterhelp.com/dealingwithmygrief. Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

I have been away for a long time. My home caught on fire in February 2020 and before moving back into my home in November 2020 I moved a total of 4 times. I caught COVID in February 2021 which caused me to be in the hospital for almost 3 weeks. Needless to say, it has been a rough year. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

I have often been asked if I have problems discussing the circumstances surrounding my dad' s death. Truthfully, I used to , but since starting the podcast It has been a lot easier for me. People need to know that some things they see on television is real, and it effect real people. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Have you ever had an issue expressing how you navigate through the grieving process? If so, I had a conversation with a film maker who has a project that is a must see for grievers as well as those who are supporting grievers. Lindsey Whissel Fenton is an Emmy award-winning storyteller who is passionate about using public media to build empathy. She is currently a senior producer at WPSU where, most recently, she developed, produced, directed, and wrote Speaking Grief,  a multi-platform initiative aimed at helping create a more grief-aware society. In 2017, Lindsey co-produced and directed A Time to Heal, a public media documentary that explores the impact of the Vietnam War on the lives of those who fought, protested, or prayed for their loved ones to come home alive. You Can’t Say That, which she produced, was among eight U.S. programs selected to screen at the 2013 International Public Television Screening Conference (INPUT) conference in El Salvador; it was also honored with a Mid Atlantic Emmy Award. Some of her other projects include  Pennsylvania Folklore: Woven Together and World on Trial: The French Headscarf Law. Fenton also serves as a host for the WPSU-FM series Take Note.  She earned her bachelor’s degree in Cinema and Digital Arts from Point Park University and her master’s degree in Learning, Design, and Technology from Penn State. In 2012, she was one of four professionals selected by Rotary International District 7350 to serve as an ambassador for its Group Study Exchange to Ukraine. Fenton practices Shotokan karate and holds the rank of Nidan (second degree black belt). She also recently discovered a passion for rock climbing. A native of Buffalo, NY, Lindsey currently resides in Central Pennsylvania with her husband. She is the proud dog-mom to Birch, a 7(ish)-year-old Maltese who was rescued from a puppy mill by Pets Come First. Watch the facebook live stream here: https://www.facebook.com/wpsugrief/videos/200597058050614/?v=200597058050614 Find out more about Speaking Grief here: https://speakinggrief.org/ Information about the Brave of Heart Fund: https://www.braveofheartfund.com/ Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

A listener asks if I still styruggle with someThe short anse things since it seems like I have come up with coping skills for a lot of things. The short answer is yes... I struggle with some things. However, there are some things that don't bother me so much. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

I received letter a few months ago from the person convicted of killing my father. This letter had been written in 2008 and had never been claimed by my mother. I'm not sure if she was truly aware that this letter had been written, or if she simply chose not to receive it. In any case, it weas not what I expected . Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

A few months ago, I received notification that the person convicted of killing my father will be eligible for a parole hearing in April 2023... that is less than 3 years away. Even still, while the hearing is in less than three years, he still has another mandatory 8 years let's be fty to server. When I was a kid, 50 years seemed forever... now its right around the corner. I know have to ask myself how I feel about that. Do I consider what my mom would do or think about this, do I lean on religious beliefs or do what I think is right by me? Do I even know what I think is right? I have many questions and no answers, but I have time to think about it. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

I had a wonderful chat with Callsuma Ali about my relationship with my father. We also talk about his murder and my process for dealing with the aftermath of his loss. Connect with Callsuma on Twitter at https://twitter.com/CallsumaAli

Sometimes grief comes between us. we plan for many things, but grief is not one of them. As we be go through life, planning for what we think is going to be the future, grief has a way of derailing those plans, So much so that it may begin to eat away at the fabric of our relationships. As we begin to process our grief, how quickly we move through has a serious impact on what people think about us and how they act towards us. The key thing to remember is that we all process differently... and that must be respected. Please use the following link to shop via amazon.com: https://amzn.to/2Uw3dKO Note: I am looking to interview individuals who are victims of violent crime and have received apology letters from the offender. If that is you or someon you know, reach out to me by any of the methods below. Thanks! Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

On May 25, 2020 George Floyd lost his life to the hands of the Minneapolis, Minnesota police when a police office knelt on his neck until he was dead. This is just the latest example an unarmed African American man whose life has senselessly been taken by those who have sworn to protect and serve us. In the wake of this tragedy, there have been protests and riots all across the country. In the midst of it all there are many people who do understand what many African Americans go through on a daily basis. Just like grief you'll never truly understand until it happens to you. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Why did my mother give me my name.... Darwyn? Last week I talked about change... change while going through the changes that grief brings. This week is about the evolution of grief... how my grief has evolved and how I have evolved (or maybe not) around it. I used to be angry, lost, confused in the immediate days and years following my dad's death. Somehow, somewhere I found the act of forgiveness which allowed me to release the anger and begin to have some sort of inner peace. I used to believe that some people are crazy or are monsters and just want to hurt people. I believe now that there is a reason why most people do what they do, even the bad things and we don't want to take the time figure out or to understand why. I've changed my thoughts on knowing why my father was killed. I now have this burning sensation to sit down with one or more of the people who committed this murder and simply ask, "Why?" I know I'll never get ananswer that justifies the reason. Whike I have evolved in some respects, in others I have not. I still ignore the signs that people give right before they die. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Heraclitus, the Greek philosopher said, “Change is the only constant in life.” As I publish this episode I realize that not only is change constant, but I have no control over how or even when it affects me. Change for as much as it can be welcomed and good when we know that something good is coming can be so dreadful when the unexpected bad thing s happen. Even when we know that bad things are going to occur I sometime ignore the signs talking myself out of how much I will be impacted by the change the is coming. While I don't like it most times... I have to learn to embrace change regardless when it happens... good or bad. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

As I sit working from home amid the COVID-19 pandemic I have realized that the link between this virus and grief is more that just the deaths caused by the virus. With all the talk about the number of cases and death expected to rise, speculation about a possible vaccine years ahead of the normal timeline for vaccine development and the politicizing of the virus by both parties here in the U.S., Just like I have often done in grief, I just want to isolate myself (even more than I've been forced to) from it all! Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

As this podcast episode is being released on the anniversary of my father's death, I find myself being consumed by a different question than usual. When did I start my healing process? The answer... when the bleeding stopped! When I physically fall, sometimes bhe bleeding doesn't happen immediately. The blood and pain take a minute to be registered by my brain and they suually hit at the same time. At that point there is no denying what has happened. For that brief second while you are waiting for the blood to appear you wonder if there will be any blood and if so, how bad will it be. In grief when my father died and my mother and I walked into that store, I was in disbelief of what I saw. I couldn't beleive it was happening to me... itr took his funeral for it to really start to sink in that this was happening. But what about the healing... when and how does that happen? I had to realize that I could live on without my father. That is when the bleeding stopped. Once the bleeding stops only then can healing truly begin. But healing to is painful. I recently fell and scraped up my elbo pretty bad. while the scrpar marks have scarred over every time I bump my arm against something or ove it the wrong way, it hurts... it's a painful reminder that something has happened to me. That just means it may take just a little longer to heal... It also mean I may have a scar for a while. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

February 25 is a day my life change... yet again! On  this day my home caught fire in my living room and dining room. What the fire didn't destroy smoke and water damage did. After spending a month in a hotel, my family is now renting a house while out home is being repaired. They say it'll be 6-8 months to complete... did I mention hotel? During the month we spent in the hotel, we met many people - some who were staying long term for work and some who had suffered misfortune like my family were there because their homes were being repaired. After 2 weeks there, the COVID-19 virus began to hit the U.S. hard and we were afraid our hotel would close like many others and we'd be left looking for a place to live. As mentioned earlier, our insurance company came through and found a place to we could live until our home is done. But the virus... It has left us sheltered in place and I'm fortunate enough that I can work from home. So unlike many millions of people in the states, I am able to continue earning a living wage. While it is difficult not being around people and seeing the street looking more like a ghost town instead of a thriving metropolis, I have to tell myself that this is only temporary. Eventually we will get back to some sense of normalcy... whatever that happens to be, How are you coping wit the virus and what do you think "normal" will look like when the pandemic is over? Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

There are amazing people using different avenues to express and deal with grief... especially as it relates to children.  As someone who lost my father when I was a child, I look to spotlight organizations who are helping children deal in some way no matter how big or small with their loss. This week I have a conversation with Sarah Illiatovitch-Goldman Sarah works for the Auditorium Theatre in Chicago where she is is the Director of Hearts to Art Summer Camp - a performing arts program for young people 7-14 who have experienced the death of a parent. As an educator, Sarah has taught everywhere from Universities to Summer Camps, to Prisons to High Schools and beyond. She is a trauma informed practice provider and brings the philosophy of that practice to all of her work. Sarah is an internationally recognized playwright who has worked with some of the best theatre companies in Chicago including working on three plays by Pulitzer and Tony Award winning playwright, Tracy Letts. Though she is from Toronto, Ontario - Sarah lives in Chicago with her husband, her three daughters and her fiercely frustrated feline, Mortimer. Contact Sarah and Hearts to Art: Website: www.HeartstoArt.org  Facebook: www.facebook.com/HeartstoArt Contact: 312-341-2353, education@auditoriumtheatre.org  Get more information about the National Alliance for Grieving Children here: https://childrengrieve.org/ Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

People don't give us what we expect in grief because they don't know what we need... and often cases we don't tell them. Before we pass judgement on those around us, let us first take a step back and process what is going on around us and try to figure out exactly what's behind a persons actions and what we can do to help them hep us. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Sometimes we can't give grief the attention it deserves either because the magnitude of grief hasn't hit yet, or because there are other pressing needs that need our attention. When my father died. my mother's main focus as making sure our basic needs were met. There was no time to sit and reflect on the journey she would have to take in providing for a household as a single parent. conversely, it didn't hit me for 4 years that I would have go through certain aspects of life without my dad around. At 10 years old I only lived for the moment - school, chores and play. That was essentially my life. Even after my dad died, I lived for the moment. I never thought about the future... not until it hit me square in the face when I was 14. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

I last saw my uncle in June of 2016. At the time he told me he had something for me but he had decided he'd wait and give it to me later. As it turned out, later would never come because he died 3 weeks later. Christmas of 2016 on a visit back to S. Louis, my aunt and cousin presented me with the item my uncle bequeathed to me... a Rolex DateJust watch. I was thrilled and nervous at the same time. I had never owned anything that expensive that I couldn't drive and I was afraid that somehow I would mess it up, maybe break it. Over the last year, that watch has become a way to establish a connection with my uncle. I think aabout how hard he worked and the many successes in life he had: he owned race horses and ran a successful daycare business. He was also there for my mother and me when we needed something like my school clothes or getting our car fix - anything that we needed in the moment. This watch reminds me of the essence of who he was and of who I can be. I would like to someday buy a Rolex of my own in celebration of how far I have come on my grief journey and to pass my uncle's watch to my son before I die. My uncle was the closest thing to a grandfather that my son ever had and I want him to experience this wonderful feeling of wearing something so grand in remembrance of my uncle... our uncle. Looking at the Rolex website (rolex.com) I found that many of the stories of prominent Rolex owners have purchased/received their watches after persevering in whatever profession they have to be the best at what they do. This watch helps me channel the same spirit from my uncle. One of the Rolex tag lines is "The world of Rolex is filled with stories of perpetual excellence." Mine is filled with the perpetual excellence of my hardworking uncle and the perpetual connection this watch gives me to him. Here is a picture of the watch. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

When my dad died, I was just a child t a new school trying to fit in... trying to be accepted by those who had barely known me for 5 months. And suddenly after his death I wanted to fit in even more so. I didn't want to bee seen as different. Even in high school, college, and the military I would hide that part of me that me me "different." I would become a chameleon and simply hide in plain sight. I would in some aspect become part of my environment and surroundings. I'd become just another face in the crowd. I had been hiding in plain sight until 4 years ago - that's when the Dealing With My Grief podcast was born. It started as a place for me to verbalized things I didn't feel that I could earlier in my life. I know had a space to analyze what I might tell my younger self as I went through specific experiences and emotions and what I might do differently. It has evolved into a space where others can share their stories and together we can realize we are not alone. This podcast is officially 4 years old. I thank you for sharing in this journey with me. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

In October of 2011 I contracted a flesh eating bacteria while watching my son play baseball. Some believe I was bitten by a spider - probably a brown recluse.  To remove the dead tissue and ger ahead of the virus I underwent 4 surgeries over a 10 day period to make sure all infected tissue had been removed and that the virus/bacteria had been completely removed. But part of this process involved packing the wound after each surgery with a material that would head drain and keep the wound clean. It would then be taped to my leg until the next dressing change.  Changing the dressing was a challenge because the nurses would slowly rip the tape from my leg. which was still painful, but they would pull just a little and stop so it wouldn't hurt as bad then d a little more, then stop, followed by a little more. Eventually after 10-15 minutes, we would be through. After the tird surgery, I'd had enough. I just told them to rip the tape off all at once. I'd rather hurt once and get it over with than suffer for 15 minutes a little at a time. This is exactly  haw I've fels since my mom died. I've been doing a little at a time, especially with her belongings. Doing just enough until the pain was overwhelming. But now it;s done. But what would I have felt if I had done it all at once? Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Happy 2020! A new year, a new decade. As I mentioned previously, I have not been able to keep up the schedule for the podcast. I've been playing catch up with the other aspects of my life and just haven't been able to devote as much time to the podcast's production. Hopefully, that is all behind me now and I can get back to the regulaas schedule for the show. As I look back at 2019, I realize that it is the community I have found in grief and the relationships I've established that give me inspiration to have hope when things get difficult... when I fell lost and have no idea what my next move is. It is the conversation with those that have come on this podcast or you that have sent me an email, text or a post in the Dealing With My Grief Facebook group that inspire me to keep the faith... that community and having these conversations are important. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

I am focusing on making new traditions... or at least getting back to old ones this year. The last month and a half have been emotionally draining, mainly dealing with cleaning out my mom's house. Now that it's over, mentally I feel like I'm recovering at a decent pace. I've been able to start enjoying things I used to do with mom... like eating Cream of Wheat again which is something she made on Saturday mornings. I know Christmas is a hard time of year for some, but I'm happy my family will be receiving wine from me again after a two year hiatus. I'm grateful I can find joy during this holiday season. Merry Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate) - I hope you are able to find some happiness and joy, no matter how small it mat be during theis holiday season Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

I have been AWOL 3 of the last 5 weeks. Putting the finishing touches on getting mom's house cleaned out was a bigger challenge than I thought it would be... and more emotional as well. I'm exhausted... I'm drained. I can take solace in the fact that Christmas is around the corner and I can visit homes where some of mom's things now reside. I am grateful for this. I didn't think that the house would mean so much to me. I'd only "lived" there for 2 years before I went off to discover and challenge life as a young adult. I'm still processing a few things, but hopefully the roughest part is behind me. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

I realize I have been away from a few weeks... I'll talk about that in next week's episode. I spent the week before Thanksgiving 2019 finishing up cleaning out my mom's home for it's new tenants. It was an emotional experience to say the least. You can complete your holiday shopping on Amazon here: https://amzn.to/2OOJOCy Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

A few weeks ago, the Washington Nationals celebrated their first World Series Championship by having a parade. While the entire city was happy and festive and celebrating with the team, I was not. In order to get to the World Series, the Nationals had to beat my home town team, the St. Louis Cardinals... and they beat them in convincing fashion, winning the best of seven series four games to none. They then went on to beat the Houston Astros for the championship. Suddenly, I thought of one person... Bryce Harper. Bryce Harper was the face of the Nationals franchise for a number of years. He was a kid phenom who could hit the cover off the ball and was supposed to help the Nationals win the series... except he didn't. Bryce harper's contract ended last season and instead of re-signing with the Nationals he instead signed with the rival Philadelphia Phillies. When asked how he felt about the Nationals as they progressed throught the playoffs he said he was happy for them.. he came up in the league with the organization and was happy for the guys that welcomed him to the league. But in leaving the team, I think he burned a lot of bridges, at least with the fans of the team. He can't come home. As I think about Thanksgiving, I can't go home either. While Bryce can't go home metaphorically, I can't go home physically because the home the my mother lived in will be coccupied by a new family... not the one I spent 30 something years gathering with relatives in. I have to find someplace to lay my head whenever I go back to St. Louis. Thanksgiving meals have moved on to a different family member's home. I am, however, like Bryce - happy for my family that remains because they can still come together and celebrate as family and create new traditions... in another family members home.   Check out last weeks episode with the Rays of Hope Children's Grief Centre in Midland TX here: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/podcast/episode-185 Visit the Rays of Hope website: https://raysofhopemidland.org/ Please support the organization by gifting them something from their Amazon Wish List:  https://smile.amazon.com/hz/charitylist/ls/2Z5M21JXIECHT/ref=smi_ext_lnk_lcl_cl Learn more about Children's Grief Awareness Month: https://childrengrieve.org/awareness/children-s-grief-awareness   Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

As the calendar tuns to November, I am reminded that this is National Children's Grief Awareness Month. As such I wanted to call attention to an organization that is helping children deal with grief. This is extremely important to me as I lost my father when I was 10. Rays of Hope Children’s Grief Centre is one of the only of its kind in the nation. It is a safe, neutral place for adolescents to do the work of grief. Children who have experienced loss due to death, separation, divorce, incarceration, deployment, or foster care are encouraged to participate. Through facilitated peer support groups, children share experiences, use creative arts as tools of expression, and acquire coping skills to work through the tough issues that accompany grief. Services are offered at no charge. Registration for programs and camps is required. The Rays of Hope staff and its trained volunteers facilitate the peer support groups, camps, and other programming. All of our offerings are facilitated by compassionate adults who guide, listen and support the children as they express their feelings, fears, and confusion as they begin the healing process. This week I welcome: Jessi Morgan, LMSW—Director at Rays of Hope Children’s Grief Centre in Midland, TX and Jennifer Bilbrey---Mother of 3 from Midland, TX. She is a mother to a 13, an 11 year old and her oldest daughter, Kali, who passed away at 15. It is great to have a wonderful conversation with those who are helping other deal with the trauma of grief and those who are willing to be vulnerable and share their stories with others. Visit the Rays of Hope website: https://raysofhopemidland.org/ Please support the organization by gifting them something from their Amazon Wish List:  https://smile.amazon.com/hz/charitylist/ls/2Z5M21JXIECHT/ref=smi_ext_lnk_lcl_cl Learn more about Children's Grief Awareness Month: https://childrengrieve.org/awareness/children-s-grief-awareness   Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

As I prepare for an annual photography gig I have in the next few weeks I am reminded of just how similar putting the pieces back together after losing someone is just like putting together a photo shoot. The event I'm photographing is an annual event I've done for 4 or 5 years now and even though it's different each year, there are certain elements that stay the same. The program is the same, put the speakers as well as the attendees are different. In grief there is sadness whenever someone dies, but the hurt is different because the relationship with each person who passes is different. Even if I try to mirror the same environment for photo sessions that I'd like to be the same, there are still subtle differences based on weather, location and other factors. Regardless of the situation, however, I'm constantly making adjustments to get the best pictures possible. In life as you try to get back to some sense of putting the pieces back together, how do you adjust to situations that have you spiraling out of control? Support the podcast by shopping on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/?tag=dealingwit066-20&linkCode=ez Also the first episode of Grief Cafe, my collaboration with the Grief Dreams podcasts hosts Dr. Joshua Blacek and Shawn Ram is available. You can find it here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/grief-cafe/id1479286093 Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

I have been asked how I try to move forward as quickly after a loss. I have learned ho to compartmentalize things in my life. to put things into categories and not let them interact with other. But in theis episode of the podcast I come face to face with the fact that doesn't always work. Announcement: I have a new podcast coming out with the hosts of the Grief Dreams podcast call Grief Cafe where we will discuss grief related topics.  You can find it here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/grief-cafe/id1479286093 Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Sometimes when we lose a friend we are driven to write a song about them. Rachel Leycroft began piano lessons at seven years old and found her voice through songwriting at thirteen. Her lyrics became her diary for expression and healing, rarely shared with anyone outside of her notebook pages & piano keys. Sixteen years later, upon the sudden death of a dear friend, she felt the undeniable need to bring a song to life in the recording studio for the first time. “Warrior” was written the day after her friend’s passing and she recorded the track as a gift to his daughter. The song honors his life and touches on universal feelings of grief. The experience sparked her desire to advocate for other areas of mental health through songwriting and gave her the most fitting reason to finally share her songs with the world. Despite the serious messages her lyrics often convey, she focuses her production style on creating an enchanting and bright experience for the listener. Her heart resides in the airwaves between organic acoustics, pop and EDM. The driving force behind Rachel’s music is her desire to evoke compassion toward ourselves and one another by sharing vulnerable experiences with the hope of encouraging connection and authenticity. she started a project called #lovethroughlyrics where she shares her lyrics along with the knowledge that has helped her through the darkest times. She hopes to accentuate the commonality of the human experiences we all share, both painful and beautiful, regardless of who we are, where we’re from, or which lens we see the world through. Her greatest wish is that the stories told within her songs provide hope and a source of connection for those who listen. Rachel is an advocate for mental health & dedicates time to supporting those who are struggling. Listen to "Warrior" (Original or Acoustic) on any music platform: https://fanlink.to/rachelleycroft_warrior Instagram (@rachelleycroft): https://www.instagram.com/rachelleycroft/ Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

I have mentioned that I am also a photographer who mostly takes pictures of jazz musicians. One of the questions I am often asked is whether or not I play and instrument mysels. I simply say no. This is not entirely true... When I as in 5th grade, about 7 months before my dad died, he bought me a guitar and would take lessons after school. I continued to take lessons after he died until I entered hight school. Girls and cars were my new obsession. A few years ago I came across my old guitar at my mon's hous and it brought back memories, and I decided I wanted to play again. This old guitar was in bas shape so I decided to buy a new one and get back into teaching myself how to play... but it was hard... there were so many memoires that I've found it hard to get back into it. I've decided that this is something that I must do, because I enjoyed it too much. I just need to set aside time go get it done. Question: What is someting you used to do that you want to get back into doing? Announcement: I have a new podcast coming out with the hosts of the Grief Dreams podcast call Grief Cafe where we will discuss grief related topics.  You can find it here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/grief-cafe/id1479286093 Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

“I don’t think of all the misery, but of all the beauty that remains.” –Anne Frank This week marks the one year anniversary of my mothers death and as I have tried to figure out what I'm going to do on October 2 I am reminded of a question that comes up often in grief forums I belong to: How do you mark the time since your loved one's passing? For me, I don't... I can't - not if making the time means counting the days or the months since the day of their passing. That to me means that I have to actively think about and look forward to the next day or month and that never gives me time to move forward in my process. It makes me feel like I'k stuck in quicksand and the harder I fight to move forward, the more I get sucked in. I try to live life and just let the moments of grief happen, and deal with them as they come. I will concede l, however, that I do remember the yearly anniversary of their death. That to me is like an internal clock that is a reminder leading up to the events of their death. A reminder that I've been able to deal with and hopefully grow just a little from the experience of having lost them. I let grief come naturally with and try to process my emotions and just let the moment pass and do wht I think is appropriate. That could be a good cry or talking to others. Buty I can't intentionally go through the daily/monthly reminder of its been this many days or that many months. My interview with mom: Episode 95 My reaction to mom’s passing: Episode 129 Do you mark time after someone passes? If so, how? Announcement: I have a new podcast coming out with the hosts of the Grief Dreams podcast call Grief Cafe where we will discuss grief related topics.  You can find it here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/grief-cafe/id1479286093 Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

What happens when a widow establishes a relationship with the hospice social worker responsible for making her husband as comfortable as during his final days? They create a game designed to allow people to have tough conversations around death and dying, course! LORI LoCICERO Lori LoCicero is a freelance writer and the co-creator of The Death Deck. A creative storyteller and eternal optimist, Lori combines her personal stories of loss with her innate sense of humor to write about life and talk about death. She has written and directed independent films, documentaries, and a variety of live gala events. Her upcoming memoir offers readers an intimate look at loss and her discovery of posttraumatic growth and was the catalyst for the creation of The Death Deck: a lively and humorous card game that inspires meaningful conversations on what matters most in our lives and in our deaths. LISA PAHL, LCSW Lisa Pahl is a Hospice Social Worker, ER Crisis Interventionist, and co-creator ofThe Death Deck. Lisa’s goal is to help people cope with illness, dying, and grief. With a passionate belief that peace at the end begins with meaningful conversations over time, she engages people in talking about and preparing for this difficult stage of life. Embracing a challenging but equally rewarding career as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in both the trenches of ER and within her true passion working in hospice, Lisa has witnessed hundreds of deaths which have taught her innumerable lessons about truly appreciating life. SOCIAL MEDIA INFO Instagram & Twitter: @thedeathdeck Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thedeathdeck/ Website: www.thedeathdeck.com Email: thedeathdeck@gmail.com Buy a deck on Amazon:https://amzn.to/2RzsmmG Announcement: I have a new podcast coming out with the hosts of the Grief Dreams podcast call Grief Cafe where we will discuss grief related topics.  You can find it here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/grief-cafe/id1479286093 Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

When I'm not working my day job, I usually have a camera in my hand taking pics of allkind, either jazz musicians or anything I find interesting on the street. Facebook reminded me that I took a picture of a homeless man 3 years ago. While the photography industry seems to look down on taking pictures of the homeless I look at them in the same light as children on the sindes of milk cartons. See, when I was 10, no one asked me then or even since then "Why haven't I gotten over my fathers death?" I think as we give children a pass as we give them a little more sympathy because they are the innocent victims of losing a loved one. As I reflect on this, I realize that I was living in the moment after my dad's death. I wasn't thinking about missing him when I was married of having children... I was only 10. I spent my time thinking about TOMORROW. That's all I could focus on... school, homework, TV, chores and playing (not necessarily in that order.) In that respect I think I'm fortunate. Homeless people are not as fortunate. They are shamed and blmed for the position they find themseves in and they should do more to try to better themselves. Almost in the same way adults should find ways to deal with the fact that death is a part of life and they should do more to "get over it," In a way, the homeless may not be any more responsible for where they are in life than those children on the side of the milk carton. I thionk we need to pay equal attention to them all. Announcement: I have a new podcast coming out with the hosts of the Grief Dreams podcast call Grief Cafe where we will discuss grief related topics.  You can find it here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/grief-cafe/id1479286093 Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief   Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

I went through what I went through because God told me to go through it. - Allen Iverson Two weeks ago, I questioned why people do the some of the things that they do... like go to church. I theorized that this was done because someone (our parents, probably) took you church at an early age and you got baptized (or went through whatever right of initiation your church has). At some point you received the doctrine of your religion and that you were told that if you followed these teachings or this way of life, you would receive whatever the highest reward in that religion is... for Christians, this is heaven. I never questioned this, until I was 10. What did I or my father do to deserve the fate that he received? Nothing!! Why did this happen? Surely a just God would not intentionally let his people live a life of struggle and strife. As I pondered the quote by Allen Iverson referenced above, I must process the teachings of the church and see how it applies to me,. More importantly, if the central figure of Christianity had to pay the ultimate sacrifice, what makes me so special that I not go through any pain and suffering.  Announcement: I have a new podcast coming out with the hosts of the Grief Dreams podcast call Grief Cafe where we will discuss grief related topics.  You can find it here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/grief-cafe/id1479286093 Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief   Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Today I have a follow up conversation... a sort of health and welfare check with my good friend Shelby Forsythia.  Shelby Forsythia is the author of Permission to Grieve and podcast host of Coming Back: Conversations on Life After Loss. After the unexpected death of her mother in 2013, she became a “student of grief” and set out on a lifetime mission to explore the oft-misunderstood human experience of loss. Through her book, weekly podcasts, and one-on-one grief guidance, she helps grieving people find direction, get support, and cultivate radical self-compassion after devastating loss. Shelby is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®, Reiki Level II Practitioner, and Intuitive Grief Guide. Her work has been featured on Huffington Post, Bustle, and Optimal Living Daily. She currently lives in Chicago. Connect with Shelby: http://www.shelbyforsythia.com/   Get Permission to Grieve: Paperback - https://amzn.to/37b8Q4O Ebook - https://amzn.to/2rvXdXg Listen to my previous conversation with Shelby: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/podcast/episode-98 Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief  Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

  With the deaths of several people in early August 2019 in the events that took place in El Paso, Texas and Dayton, Ohio, I reexamine my view on gun gun control and what different wys in which I think we as a society can make a difference when it comes to mass shootings. Are guns really the problem? Let me know your thoughts Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief   Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

With children returning to school, how can we prepare schools to deal with children who've experienced loss over the summer? I've received some listener feedback from a lady whose husband has died over the summer and their child is returning to school in a few weeks. she'd like to know how best to prepare her child. In my opinion it's best to prepare the environment first. Here are just a few things that I would do: Contact the school an let them know the situation. You have experienced a loss in the family and your child may exhibit behaviors that are not usually associated with them. Discuss ways engage the child when this happens. Get studentsschool community involved. This could be a teachable moment for all involved. Students can learn that active grieving comes and goes I don't show "signs of grief" only in the immediate aftermath of the event. This is a perfect time to let the class know exactly how to support their grieving classmate. Let your child know that it's normal to grieve and whoto talk to at school  if they need to talk to someone during the school day (teacher, counselor, etc.) If you have things that have helped you cope, pklease let me know. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief   Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Today I welcome Alyssa Budinock to the podcast. Alyssa is a Kripalu yoga instructor, podcast host, and end-of-life doula in training. She lives in Rochester, New York with her fiance and their beloved dog Blue. Between 2017-2018 she experienced 5 significant losses in her family that ignited her deep curiosity in how people grieve, how they die, and how they live. She's a sucker for beautiful things like little streams, wildflowers, and garbage plates (it's a Rochester thing...). Today she feels the most alive when she's dancing like crazy, experimenting in the kitchen, walking through cemeteries or having intimate conversations with strangers, loved ones, or herself. Alyssa is dedicated to living from a place of love rather than fear, and discovering more and more of who she is each and every day. Connect with Alyssa here: https://www.gravedancers.net Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief   Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

One of the things I don't say enough is that I don't have any formal training in grief. I am not a therapist, psychologist, or grief counselor. All I have is my many experiences of dealing with loss in my life, beginning with the death of my father. As I have so often stated, grief gives you an opportunity to learn more about yourself than you ever wanted to know. One must simply put aside their own biased opinion of what life "should" be like and confront the life they currently have. Examine one's self and ask the tough questions about how to move forward in grief. I have for walked the walk and talked talk... someone recently told me I have grief "street cred". I can only assume that this means I am not someone who simply talks about grief in the third person. I've actually lived through the experiences I talk about on a weekly basis. I seriously try to look at situations and scenarios that i experience and try to determine the best course of action to take. Do I always pick the best one? No... But I have to consistently  evaluate the best we to move through the emotional mine field that grief leaves. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief   Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

This past week I lost  a little faith in humanity. Let me explain. Early in July 2019 a person I served in the army with lost his son suddenly. Unfortunately, after spending so much money trying to keep his son alive, he need money for whatever final arrangements the decided upon for his son. So the reached out to family and friend on Facebook and started a fundraiser.  Well, someone decided that they would set up a fake page and solicit funds from those people who had already donated. A few people donated to this fake page before determining from family members that it wasn't legitimate. Now the family has to deal with the appropriate companies to resolve the situation as well as try to make arrangements for their son. Donors have to make sure they gave to the right page... it's a mess! There is a special place for those who prey on people in need. I hope they get caught and are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief   Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

  This week, I have a conversation with Melissa Lynne. Melissa’s mother died in March 2014 and everything changed in that instant...her priorities, her career, her purpose and passion, her outlook on life and death. She crumbled into a heap under the blankets and shut out the world, where she stayed for almost a year. The thing that brought her back and kept her going was returning to the page, returning to the written word, returning to something that felt like life. The words came through her body and soul and heart and gut and quite literally saved her life. She wrote her way back to a life she needed and wanted to live. She resurfaced with a fearlessness to look grief head on and to feel all of it...the pain, the insanity, the beauty and love, the snotty tears on the shower floor or the shoulder of the kind stranger at the grocery store. She gave herself permission to grieve and trusted herself to feel anything that came. Today, Melissa’s grief lives in her body, in that place where love and creativity intersect. Where she blesses and honors it. Where it’s fed and watered. Where it’s shown darkness and sunshine. Where it is cherished. Where it leads her one day into the next. Melissa is co-founder/curator/editor of Grief Rites Foundation, where she encourages the use of art as agency to survive through grief. Connection and storytelling are how she walks beside others who are feeling the loneliness and isolation of grief. She is a death doula and a grief specialist. She is currently writing a grief memoir. Melissa lives in Portland, Oregon with her 3 children, 2 cats and 1 dog. She thrives in words and water and trees and moss and mist. Instagram: @breatheinbreatheoutlive Instagram: @griefritesfoundation Website: griefritesfoundation.org Facebook: facebook.com/GriefRites Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200

The internet makes finding answers to answers to any question you could possibly have very easy to find... just type your question, hit enter and in milliseconds you have more answers than you might ever imagined. When it comes to grief. looking for answers to questions such as how long will it hurt this much or what can I do to make the pain go away will give you various results that all worked for the people who wrote them. They may not work for you because even though there are similarities in how your loved ones died, everyone's grief story is a little different; maybe the dynamics around the support syste,s you have is completely different. The answers you get for Google and YouTube aren't really answers, but merely suggestions. A few weeks ago, I spoke with Dr. Sarah Neustadter who is a psychologists who works with clients that are working through their grief and she stated that even in her studies, she didn't really learn much about grief, but did learn things to help people deal with trauma. You can listen to that conversation here. You may have to tweak some of the answers that you get see to fit your particular scenario. Some may find that you need to get completely out of your comfort zone and try something you thought you'd never be able to do. Just remember -  you aren't getting answers... you are simply getting suggestions. You have to put in the work and find what works for you. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200

As I post this, I am in St. Louis... at my mom's house... finally going through her things. As I spent 13 hours in a car driving here, I had a lot of time to think about this process; how hard it might be and the emotions i would face as I tried to determine what I would keep for myself, what I might offer to others and what I woulkd just get red of entirely. It was difficult when I first got started but I decided it would be easier if I could establish a closer connection to mom while I was here. So I decided to change the linen on her bed and sleep in her room. It has been a very calming experience over the last few days... very calming emotionally. It has definitely taken the edge of what as been and emotional roller coaster. I have to also take time to thank my family and friends who have supported me through this process. I have not been the easiest person to reach or to talk to in fear of having to answer the question of when was I going to begin the process ofg cleaning out mom's house. They are a truly amazing group of people, I have found that I can do what I con and when it becomes too much, just take a break until you can do more. Eventually you'll reach your goal. Thank you for supporting me through this process. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com voice/message - (240) 778-5200 Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief   Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)