Hey Let's Talk About That Movie or Whatever

IT'S THE 100th EPISODE SPECTACULAR!!! And we're commemorating this momentous occasion with APPROPRIATELY SOLEMN REVERENCE!!!!! One year in the making, this incredible event is finally available to enjoy in the privacy of your own home! So put on your frigging riot gear and strap in for ninety seven high-octane minutes of low-energy hosts, pulse-pounding discussion of film, and a breathtakingly courteous live audience so observant it'll make your frigging head explode with ambivalence!!! Psychokinesis is the name of the movie we talked about.

You thought we were stupid, but we watched a French cartoon so now you know we're smart and gonna live forever! One of us watched April and the Extraordinary World, one of us watched Avril et le Monde truqué, and one of us watched both! So our talking about it is gonna be out of this monde! All this plus Simpsons references and Dylan spent the whole episode in a comedy club bathroom I guess.

Join us as we discuss Manhunt, a foreign film by noted auteur, John Woo. Plus we find out what guns are, continue to perpetuate misinformation from Batman: The Animated Series, and pitch potential patreon rewards like abduction and murder. Also VHS technology, the whitewashing of Berserk, Uma Thurman, Tarantino, Project Greenlight again for some reason, Digimon, which bible is correct, and manga. TLDR; This is a Simpsons podcast. 

American Fable? Or American dream?!? You decide!!! (that it was a dream)

We're back like we said we'd be last time! And to prove how good the show is now, we perform a radio play we wrote wherein Logan decides to hey let's switch to a different telecommunications app while we're already in the middle of recording the episode! And could you imagine even the fun that could be?! We also talk about Il racconto dei racconti, the international film of Matteo Garrone, Salma Hayek, John C. Reilly, Toby Jones, and other people and folk tales and junk! And can you guess the answer of Matt's movie pun game? You're definitely gonna know it's Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy if you read this sentence! Hooray! Tale of Tales!

Time again for another All Halloween's Eve Spooktacular Sales Event!! Beware this spooky episode, recorded this very night eight months ago!!! For the horrible breathing audible throughout confirms that making this the Halloween episode was PREMEDITATED!! NOT AN AFTERTHOUGHT!!! MWAHAHAHAHAAA!!! Anyways, we talked about Welcome to Willits with Blurry Culkin. Stick around to the very end, if you dare, for the chilling proof that we always intended for this to be the Halloween episode. Mwahaha, haha, Morgrom & Morgrom, etc...

Steven Sodaberg's race track heist movie gave us the courage to talk in our real accents for once in our damn lives as we thoroughly cover Logan Lucky! Channing Tatum was brothers with Adam Drivers and Riley Keough and Seth MacFarlane and Katherine Waterston and Daniel Cwaig and Dwight Yoakam and Rebecca Blunt and Macon Blair! And it's a movie! Plus Michael Jackson and Elvis and Legion were there! Plus Dylan stumbles into an incantation that will reverberate through this podcast and the world! Plus he loves Neon Genesis Evangelion without reservation! Stick around after the show to hear us continue to talk about the movie for an hour! Cauliflower!

Continuing a streak of choosing films with statements for titles, They Look Like People! The podcast friends talk about that for half an hour! Then the ones they call Logan and Dylan talk about something else for half an hour while Matt plays with a cat in the background! [cat playing sounds detected; 85% certainty] Then they end the episode! Then they do the episode for twelve more minutes! [episode description automatically generated by the computer that listens to podcasts]

Hey, don't MUTE this podcast! We want you to listen to it! Although, to be honest, I guess if you played the episode with the sound muted, we'd still get credit for you listening, so I don't know that we'd necessarily care. Actually, if anything, it might be better for us if you played it muted. I mean, worse case scenario, you played it accidentally with no intention of listening to it, in which case we'd get your listen without having to deal with you judging us. Best case scenario, you intended to listen to the episode and just the muting part was the accident - in which case you'd have to go back and play it again but with the sound on this time, and we'd get credit for two listens that rightfully should have only counted as one. Look, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table here; I was just trying to kick off this episode description with a toothless play on words, and it's gotten wildly out of hand, so I think it would be better for both of us if I abandon this line of reasoning entirely and just start describing the episode now. So here goes: TLDR; Duncan Jones made a movie called Mute and we talked about it. If you want to hear that, then play this episode.

Everybody wants some!! And we wanna let you get it!! In your ears!! So we're back and here's the episode. More Linklater, more talk of a Publix we'll never actually go to, and more other stuff! Like the Oscars I guess. And Dylan denounces a spelling bee pronouncer or something. Podcasts are where you find them.

In honor of the 4th of July, this week the Bernie bros are talking about movies again and they're in another dimension where things are better. We talked about the true story of Jack Black being a cosmetizationist and Shirley MacLaine being an old lady whom he murdered. We also talk about Richard Linklater and say the names of at least three other movies he's made! Also Logan had a problem at a pizza place or something. So... um... you wanna listen to it? Or...? I mean you don't have to decide now or anything. I understand if you're busy. 

ZOOM! What was that?! The sound of us doing movies?! Yes, but Zoom is also the name of one of those movies. And this is that episode where we talked about that. And that's the description of this episode. See ya there!

We're back with more Gabbin Bout Guardians, but this time with more people! We like to keep the date we actually record each episode a closely guarded secret, but eagle-eared sleuths may notice a few helpful clues in the form of live Super Bowl updates. So join us for another amazing episode of talking! Editor's note: I got sick of editing, so just don't listen to the last 20 minutes or so

News you can lose. Happy holidays!

This week on Heathers, the three Heathers escort you through an auditory exploration of Heathers, the classic film about teenage suicide and how you should don't do it. Later, Heather talks about what she's seen lately, Heather keeps interrupting, and Heather aint having it! If you can't stand the Heather, get out of the Heather kitchen, but if you're ready to Heather with the Heather Heathers, then come along, Heaths and Heathers, for all the Heather you can Heather a Heather at! Episode notes: Friday the 13th is a video game, not a board game

Oh man, we watched The Bad Batch! Then we recorded ourselves talking about it twenty years ago! What did we think of the movie?? I don't remember! So you better play this episode to find out! If you like your podcasts puzzlingly long, then this ep is for you! Or if you're the sort who prefer shorter podcast episodes, then just listen to half of it! But don't worry, because you have to listen either way!

We talked about The Place Beyond the Pines, so you know it's gonna be whatever! This week, Derek Cianfrance did a movie about Ryan's pines and how he did a good robbing and he even put some acts in it in this one now too! Once he finishes that, then you know it's time for some jerks to talk about it and oh boy howdy did we! Plus Dylan says Mario and it's a theme song! And plus it's also a race against time before Publix closes or Logan will starve! Matt's there, too! And he's gonna say Darkwing Duck, so you know 90's kids are gonna remember! Plus all this plus more! Click this ad!

Are you into Osgood Perkins films? And the music of his brother Elvis? And Ruth Wilson and Lucy Boynton and Bob Balaban and backwards heads and mold and hospice care??? You sound like kind of a weird person!! Maybe you'll like this podcast, then. We get confused about if Kate Mara and Rooney Mara are two people or one people, buzz market Publix, then Logan pretends that he watched a French cartoon to make us think he's fancy, and we get another piece to the puzzle of figuring out Dylan's home address! All this, plus I'm pretty sure I think we even remembered to talk about I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House!!! Pretty sure!

To maximize the spookiness of the Halloween episode this year, we're posting it at THE STROKE OF MIDNIGHT ON HALLOWEEN!!! MWAHAHAHAAHAAAAA!!!! We talked about Halloween cause it's a movie, so it fits the criteria necessary for something to be talked about by us. But be forewarned, dear listener, if you don't want to LOSE YOUR MIND, then don't stick around after the show for Fried Chicken Encounters, the show where Dylan goes to a bunch of drive thrus.

In this colossal episode of the colossal podcast, colossal is a word we say a few times as we talk about Nacho Vigalondo's colossal film, Colossal! Anne Hathaway! Jason Sudeikis! Gamer gate! Spoilers! All this plus Kevin's back plus we forget to end the show!! Check it out!!!

This week's episode's movie is Anthony Perkins's son Osgood's film, The Blackcoat's Daughter! We tell you what happened and what it's about, cause some people on the internet seemed confused by it! Plus we all survived a hurricane recently, and it taught us to be nicer to one another! However, we recorded this episode before the hurricane, so we're very mean to each other the entire time. What was in the holy water? I'll never tell!!!! It was pee. I peed in the holy water. I'm sorry.

This week we talked about the Frankenstein-industrial complex, and the Czech-Republic-filmmaking complex and the various complexes we got from watching this movie. Plus what we've been watching lately and/or playing, like video games for example. Then we can't end the show for some reason, then Matt plugs his graphic novel at the very end. It's a real thing. You can buy it. Dare I say you SHOULD buy it??? No, I daren't say that. But you could if you wanted. depressingscience.com

Lyudmila Pavlichenko may have shot hundreds of Nazis with bullets during World War II, but during this week, she shot our hearts with this movie. Незламна, also known as Битва за Севастополь tells sort of the story of that lady, and teaches us that killing Nazis is good and makes Eleanor Roosevelt give you presents. Whoops, accidentally uploaded the next episode of Game of Thrones...

The Benedict Cumberbatch backlash may have begun in that other movie where that guy said that, but it ends here! With us! Talking about Doctor Strange! And some old gameshows for kids that nobody remembers or cares about! Dylan provides more misinformation than you can shake a defibrillator at, Matt's bringing the goofs, and Logan eats a bucket of rice pudding! Nobody could have done a better job at doing this episode! (I say this only to provide an opportunity for you to sadly mutter "I could have.") There. Now the show's interactive.

This week, we talk about The Girl With All the Gifts, an interesting take on the zombie genre, written by the great Microphone Carry. Dylan finally seen My Neighbor Totoro, Logan is conflicted about Alison Brie's nudity, and Matt still won't shut up about the Amazon show Patriot cause it's so good. Keep reaching for the stars and keep on talkin' 'bout that movie!!!! And don't forget you gotta' kill that kid.

It's time for an apocalypse of justice! That's right, we watched Mindhorn! And they say something similar to that in that movie! I'm pretty sure! Check out this ep to get the scoop on all kinds of other stuff we sort of remember happening! Then we discuss some summer blockbusters, and speculate about what they're probably like because we still haven't seen them.

This episode is rated PG for partially good! Dylan picked Zootopia, a movie for kids, and then kept cursing while we talked about it, so we had to replace those words with other words. Mostly the word poop. Dylan's a jerk, Logan's a soundboard, and Matt's watching episodes of Ghostwriter, so I don't know what's going on with him. Listen to the podcast tomorrow so things don't get worse.

We have an Episode 71 reunion for the first six minutes! Then Logan shows up and we listen to him play a video game. But THEN we talk about Beyond the Gates, a movie about a VHS board game from a spooky store or something! It's sometimes described as a "horror Jumanji" and probably would have been better had the director ever seen Jumanji. Later on, Dylan tells us about rifling around in the desk of an unnamed legislator, Logan yells at him from way across the room, and we fill you in on some other stuff we seen! Email us to request a copy of this episode on haunted VHS tape.

Welcome back, Logan! All this plus we talk about The Salvation.

IT'S THE GRAND FINALE OF EPISODE 71!!!! It's been a wild ride! To thank our listeners for supporting Episode 71, Dylan is on location at the Shaky Knees Music Fest in Atlanta, GA, doing a live remote from Centennial Park!!! Then the cops tell him he has to leave and he does the remote from a chair in the atrium of his hotel while he gets sleepier and sleepier! There's theme songs and plenty of gunshots and horse noises and you know we're gonna talk over old Conan bits and take online quizzes to see what kind of different things we are!!! Episode 72 drops soon, then I'll probably delete Episodes 71(b)-71(h). Happy Father's Day from the entire cast and crew of HLTATMOW Episode #71!!! -Kobe

We're so close to episode 72!!!! In this episode, Matt and Dylan figure out what's going on with episode 71. Spoiler, it has something to do with an encounter Dylan had with Godzilla as a child. One more installment of hot garbage to go after this one! We also talk about Godzilla a little.

This episode, we veer closer to content than ever!!!! We teach you about the law, and shop for deodorant, and talk about stuff and do all sorts of important content! Then we seemingly forget we're doing a podcast for a while. Then we do another classic Shower Cast, which turns everything around and gets everybody ready for bed! Is this the best non-episode ever?? Or the worst? You be the judge! We also interview Godzilla a little.

It's another beautiful day and you don't want to get up! But you have to! So we're here to walk you through your morning, from getting out of bed to getting to work really late! We might even interview Jeff Sessions along the way! And then do an even better interview with Academy Award winner Sean Christensen! Good Morning, HLTATMOW!!!

The podcast gets worse, then it gets better! Then worse again. Then we search how to do a podcast on the internet. I wanna say we talked about Seinfeld and Charles Dickens or something. Maybe Godzilla. Not sure. Then there was a sex doctor segment possibly. I'm probably going to delete these supplemental episodes soon, so get em while they're... whatever they are.

Matt and Dylan bring you a singular production of the very erotic public domain short story The Cask of Amontillado by Edgar Allan Poe. Plus more Jeopardy, horsey sounds, car talk, bar chat, tax discussion, Jay Leno noises, and bikes and stuff. Then everyone falls asleep. The last ten minutes or so are like a baby's nightmare, but I left it in for anthropological reasons. We also talk about Godzilla a little.

This episode we try to cash in on the popularity of food podcasts like Doughboys and The Sporkful (I assume? I don't actually know what the sporkful is) by reviewing a new flavor of chicken wings! But first, of course, we have to catch the end of Jeopardy and then order the wings and then drive to the place to get them and then evade the cops! We also talk about Godzilla a little.

Disclaimer: This is an even weirder, longer episode don't listen. Dylan drove somewhere and needed to do a podcast to stay awake. So we talk about whatever for four hours. Night Court, Mass Effect, Game of Thrones, Conan O'Brien, Whataburger, etc. We even talked about Godzilla again for a minute or two! Plus Matt figures out how to make Dylan hear audio clips! Even if he doesn't want to! Don't bother listening if you're not a fan of the parts of the podcast where we ramble incoherently! (but remember, if you don't listen, Dylan might fall asleep at the wheel)

Disclaimer: This is a weird episode don't listen. We watched a foreign film called Gojira, Mosura, Kingu Gidora: Daikaiju Sokogeki! It's just Matt and Dylan in this episode! Which is weird! Matt tries to get Dylan to say whether or not he'd recommend the movie for forty minutes! Then Dylan tries to make the recording unusable! Then Dylan spends the last half hour begging Matt not to release this episode! But it sounds like Matt is gonna release it! We also talk about Godzilla at some point.

All aboard! Train to Busan is leaving the station! Toot-toot! Where will it end up? I'm no train expert, nor do I know what such a person would be called, but my guess is it's probably going to Busan, you absolute frigging dullard! Dylan was mean to this movie but Logan and Matt are good guys to it! We disagree about whether or not the Train to Busan was better than the train from Snowpiercer! Here's an interesting fact: The name of the train from Snowpiercer was Chris Evans's Ice Train! If you don't believe me, just google Chris Evans's Ice Train and I bet Snowpiercer comes right up!!! Let's all take care of one another!! Now eat some more slop, you mindless zombies!!!! :D

It's episode 69! So we S each other's D's by talking bout movies and stuff! I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore was one of the main ones! It's Macon Blair's writorial-directorial debut, and Dylan has graduated from confusing him with Joe Lo Truglio to confusing him with Jeremy Saulnier. Matt and Logan start working out the sequel to Blue is the Warmest Color until Dylan shows up and they forget they were doing that. Then we talk about movies, video games, comic books and normal books! Plus we fix the national debt, complain about the proposed Netflix rating scale and try to get Logan to start smoking cigarettes! Five stars! You hear me Netflix?!! FIVE! STARS!

We Are Still Here! And talkin bout one of the most positively reviewed horror films of a few years ago or something! Ted Geoghegan did it! It's in the past! La La Land! I mean Moonlight!! Matt suffered a brain injury!!! He gonna be okay?! Idunno! BUT WE ARE STILL HERE, MUTHA F*$%@S!!!!!

This episode, we delve into an examination of suicidal depression, madness and the long road to recovery. We also talk about The Beaver. Did you know Anton Yelchin and Jennifer Lawrence were in that? We sure didn't.

This week we watched Grand Piano, a film some people on this podcast have called 'the dumb version of Whiplash.' Listen to us talk about how and why John Cusack and Bill S. "Alex Winter" Preston Esquire kill people to make Elijah Wood play the piano better. We tell you why Damien Chazelle seems like an evil person, but is actually better than you. We think about trying the Santa Clarita Diet, and Matt and Dylan wanna talk about Arrival, but then don't for obvious reasons. Don't be a Tom FAILZnik, be a Tom LISTENTOTHISEPZnik! Night night I have a concussion

We spend twenty minutes introducing The Magnificent Seven so we can give you all the interesting details, like what Aikido is and what we thought about John Wick, and also so we can name all the Skarsgards and brainstorm new snacks we could invent that might be good. This episode sponsored by Legal Zip. It's like a scam.

This Inauguration Day, we talk about Look Who's Back, the movie where Hitler is here again. We try not to get political. Kevin hasn't been on in a while, Matt hasn't slept in a while, and Logan hasn't seen Rogue One in an ever. I think Matt says Adolph Borat at one point, when he really should have said either Borat Hitler or Adolph Sagdiyev. Then we have a pretty weird discussion of Starwars. Er ist wieder da.

'Tis the season for the coming together of friends and family, the lifting of spirits, and the talking about of movies. 'Tis a special film we watched, wherein a bedraggled Paul Dano learns to share his life with a bloated and decaying Daniel Radcliffe. And yes, Mary Elizabeth Winstead was there too. This holiday season, we'd like to invite you to watch Swiss Army Man, and listen to us reminisce about times gone by when we did the same. Logan and Matt will be there, with little Dylan by the fire, playing with his brand new microphone. We do so hope that you will join us.   EDITOR'S NOTE This episode was recorded before the release of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Quit asking us to talk about Star Wars, nerds.

A Girl Walk Home Alone at Night, just barely in time to qualify as Halloween in November! So do the HLTATMOW while you listen to us talk about this Persish film written and directed by Ana Lily Amirpour! Plus video games, anime, and it's sort of unclear what the next pick is! Cause of Dylan! But let's say it's Swiss Army Man! I'm pretty sure that's right! It's the HLTATMOW dance!

Trollhunter! Norwegians! Talking! You get it. This was recorded before the election, so any political commentary is entirely speculative. Halloween in November or whatever

Happy Halloween, everybody! Every... (dramatic pause) ...DEAD BODY!!! Evil laugh, lightning, thunder, creaky door sound. That's right, it's that time again. When we dust off the sound effects machine, realize it doesn't work anymore, and haul it off to the spooky mansion down the street to try to sell it to the spooky hoarder who lives there. While we were waiting for him to count and roll thousands of nickels, we went ahead and recorded an episode of the podcast. We pretty much talked about Event Horizon. Apologies if any spooky noises made it onto the recording.

Join us on an auditory journey along the Oregon Trail! Along the way, we'll talk about a movie we watched called Meek's Cutoff, have our clothes stolen, and try to mutiny Logan. Later on, we'll confuse movies with other movies and discuss a weird spattering of TV shows. So come along, pioneers!!! Opportunity awaits!!!!! Dylan has dysentery.

Deathgasm is a word that gets thrown around a lot these days. But what does it really mean? Join us this week as we struggle with the question, "Why isn't anyone starting the show?" Then we struggle with this foreign film that we watched. There's some D&D talk, and even some D&D&D&D talk. Stick around after the show for the debut of the gaming advice column, Aunty Gamer. All this, plus Dylan won't tell us what he's been watching.