Just So We're Clear

Welcome back to a mega-personal, extra-long catch up episode, besties! We knoooow it's been a minute, but being able to record in person just hits different. So we saved up all the good stuff for this juicy little number. We talk about babies... like how are we meant to KNOW when we're ready to make one? Will we ever feel sure? Then we figure out where the lines are between our friends and our partners... what happens if they hate each other? What if they like each other too much? Tell us what you think.

For the first time in forever Hanli and Marissa take a break from their BFF LDR and record this whole episode without breaking eye contact... and things got deep. We reflect on a few important life things, like... Have we taken self-hood too far? Is social media only feeding our need for external validation? Who is your safe space? Is there such thing as gossiping for good? Are we suffering from cringe blindness? So many thoughts, so many feelings. You need to tune in.

Do you guys ever just save up for a good cry? We're running through some of the weird reasons we've gotten emotional lately. Hanli starts to feel like a local in Mexico but shares what she's found hard about connecting with people and building community away from home. Marissa reflects on how growing up can sometimes feel like growing apart, as we all enter different chapters of our lives.

Ladies, we get it. Online dating can be such a chore. We do the work, we're ready to put ourselves out there, but how many frogs do we need to kiss before we find our prince? In this episode, we're talking about all things online dating. The highs, the lows, and the weird and wonderful things we experience on our quest to meet the one. We spill the tea on the few times we tried to make the first move, share our zombie apocalypse plans, and give you our tips on how to build a killer profile. And of course, shoutout to the queen bee, Bumble

Can you BELIEVE it? Four years on and this cute little podcast is still going strong. We know it's been a while and we have so.. much.. catching up to do. In this episode, we give you the rundown of what we've been up to over the last few months, from moving half way across the world, to the weird and wonderful things we're learning about living with our partners.

First of all, an announcement. Hanli is kinda sorta leaving Singapore... and we need to talk about it. We share the full deets, and take a moment to reflect on what it means to make that jump. Plus, lets talk about energy vampires. Chances are you know one, maybe you're close friends with one; they might even be a family member. You love them, but wow is it tiring dealing with them sometimes. We share our own little ways of keeping healthy boundaries, while still giving them the support they need. As our last episode of the year, we want to say a BIG thank you to everyone who's supported us this year. We honestly could not have done it without you. We'll be back in 2024 with more spicy eps... but until then, take care, stay hot, be well.

See, what did we tell you? Shoutout to all of you that wrote in and held us accountable. We see you, we love you. We're back. This week, we're talking about how to communicate your needs and standards within a relationship... right down to the little things that matter. Plus, can guys and girls really be friends? We give you our take.

Guys. Big news. Like MAJOR. Actually... let us just voice note you. This episode we're serving up our major life updates, and dropping a huge announcement (ahem, hint in the title). We share the full story of kween Hanli's royal engagement; romance, funny mishaps and all. Plus, Marissa pops off about a recent medical diagnosis that's forcing us to question the relationship between bodyweight and health.

Happy September my darlings! Marissa and Hanli are asking the big questions this week. We're deciphering what 'wealth' means to us and how its changed as we've (dare we say) matured. How can you tell when you've 'made it'? When should we buy ourselves that cheeky little upgrade? When do we treat ourselves to that expensive bottle of wine? And, we're unpacking our definitions of 'home' as we reflect on some of the bigger transitions taking place in our lives. As always, share your thoughts – what does 'wealth' and 'home' mean to you?

Is it just us, or has 2023 just been a year of unbridled chaos? We're back after our hiatus of playing dodgeball with everything the universe has decided to throw at us. We're out of breath, a little tired but otherwise standing tall. This week, we're starting with a little check in of where we're at, before we give you the lowdown of what's been going on these past few months. From coming to terms with death, UFOs being 100% real and adjusting to our relationship weight. 

Hello babies. This week, we want to give a special shoutout to Write Now – a mobile platform that lets you connect with professional counsellors for super affordable rates. So if you were ever looking for a sign to get some mental health support, this is it. Use our promo codes to try it out: for 50% OFF for 2 months on any plans for 50% OFF on add-on live sessionsOn this episode, Marissa tears up thinking about how our parents are getting older while Hanli is waging war on the internet trolls... because let's be honest, they need to be stopped.

Sorry for the silence y'all but we've been working on some things behind the scenes that we're really excited to share super soon. Not only that, we've been in a long distance friendship for the past month while Marissa was off on another corporate gallivant in America... but we're back and oh, how we've missed you all. This week, we get a little woo woo and explore what it really means when we say 'protect your energy' and how to tell when you've done it right. We also call out 'unconditional love' as being a pretty dangerous concept when it comes to relationships... do you think it should exist? We don't. We break down why. 

We're all about figuring out the best ways to avoid the drama... but let's be honest. Sometimes, you just gotta stand up and fight. This week, we're reflecting on the ways we deal with conflict with our loved ones, and whether our fighting habits actually serve us. Because as much as our love languages have helped us figure out a lot, knowing how we deal with conflict together is equally as important. We may not have all the answers, but here's what we've figured out so far. 

On this week's vibe check, Marissa and Hanli over-share (as per usual) – from the perils of Plan B to embracing our inner brat and  our inner aunties... so prepare yourselves for our unsolicited advice. We also get deep into trying to work out what it really means to gain a sense of 'clarity' in your life, whether it's in your love life, your personal finances or even just who you want to be when you grow up. 

First of all, happy belated birthday to us. We're three! Second of all, welcome to season five. Can you believe it? We can't. In honour of our GROWTH, we take a hot minute to reflect on what we've learned about ourselves lately... from three-day hangovers to battles with perfectionism. It's finally dawned on Marissa that great things can happen when you get out of your own way, while Hanli talks about whether closure is a little overrated. 

Happy new year babies! Oh how we've missed you. We're wrapping up this season by reflecting on everything life threw at us over the past year – from heartbreaks and new love, to stepping out of our comfort zones and learning how to befriend our fears. We figure out the difference between being vulnerable versus being 'open book', why we might need to make new friends, and what it's going to take to actually love our bodies. Most importantly, dear listeners... we want to take a moment to share how much you mean to us. We're almost 3 years old and none of this would have been possible without your support. We LOVE you. 

This week, we're throwing back to the sheer chaos of Marissa's 31st birthday celebrations before getting deep into this years ~*reflections*~.  From embracing new kinds of chaos, to learning the difference between the kind of love we think we need versus what we actually deserve. We made some mad breakthroughs this episode...  but not before we go down a dirty little Urban Dictionary rabbit hole. Because at the end of the day, let's be real. We'll never truly grow up. 

Hello babies. This week, we want to give you some big sister advice when it comes to building self trust and learning how to bring the full version of yourself to the table. We deconstruct different dating patterns, talk about how to write a forgiveness letter,  and introduce you to some of our many personalities (there are a lot of them). 

It's been a minute guys but we've finally caught up on life admin... but most importantly, we're back on these airwaves with so much to catch you guys up on. Hanli and Marissa have revived a little of their faith in men and spill the tea on their cheeky little holiday flings. We talk about how the kinds of hook ups we look for have changed as we've gotten older, why you should always keep your toys charged, and how we can change the world one orgasm at a time. 

First up – big announcement. Hanli plans to host women's circles in Singapore, where women  are invited to connect, share and build community. It's going to be magic. DM us to take part.This week, we're on a bit of a see-saw. Marissa and Hanli can feel a special energy in the air as the world continues to open up. Hanli is on the verge of entering her villain era and ain't nothing gonna slow her down... except for her new potato allergy. (No, really.) Marissa, on the other hand, is catching herself in a dip and giving herself a moment to reset and come back stronger.  And finally, we spill some hot tea about a certain snake in the grass. You won't believe the nerve. The audacity. The outrage.We also want to make a special shoutout to the men that have started tuning into the podcast. We see you, we love you. Welcome to the show! (Psst, give us 5 stars on Spotify, thx bb.)

This week, we needed to slow down and just give ourselves a little TLC. Marissa deals with the worst of her inner self-critic and what happens when you let that negative voice get too loud. Hanli is processing the next chapter of her heartbreak and the losses you don't anticipate. We also talk about a recent article titled "The Rise of Lonely Single Men" and how our expectations of our partners are changing the way we date – from how we seek out emotional support and whether it's our job to push the men in our lives to do "the work". 

We're coming in hot. This episode, we spill all about Hanli's 30th butterfly disco party in Bali – from a raw-yet-grounding cacao ceremony, to a sound therapy session that unlocked something within Marissa.  Hanli reveals what she's been working through over the past month (brace yourselves for heartache). We also get knee deep in the work we're still doing for ourselves, from practicing the act of "receiving", softening into our feminine energy, and stepping out of our comfort zones in a really big way.

Hanli just turned 30 and it's a pretty big deal. We reflect on how sometimes even a birthday feels like everything is getting shaken up. Some call it Saturn's Return. Some call it just part of growing up. Either way, a lot of reflections are bubbling to the surface, so naturally we wanna talk about it. We talk about whether we believe in 'the one', why self-honesty is harder than it sounds, and entering your villain era.

Surprise! It's us! Sorry for the radio silence, we really didn't mean to ghost you. We were each on a little world tour of our own, bouncing between weddings, catching covid and powering through business trips... and we might have gotten a little carried away. But if there's anything we learned, it's that we MISSED you guys. In this catch-up episode, we share a few little highlights from our adventures abroad, getting back in your groove after having your confidence knocked, and the big difference between self-confidence, self-worth and self-esteem. 

We know, we know. We were MIA again but listen. We were out collecting life experiences to share and guys, we got a lot. This week, we wanna talk about when it's okay to be the bigger bitch. When we can let ourselves be petty. When we see the high road and think, 'nah, too uphill for me'. We've ALL been there... so let's talk about it. We cover why sometimes we need to lean into our anger, what our 'rage rituals' look like, and how we say sorry. 

**Trigger warning: eating disorders.** For the first time, Marissa tells the story of her eating disorder, from its troubling beginnings 11 years ago to the present day.  In this timeline of events, Marissa shares the moment she realised she was in crisis, hitting rock bottom (multiple times), what was truly going through her mind, the challenge of getting help, and the rollercoaster that has been her recovery. We'll be blunt; this episode gets very heavy... but we hope you give it a listen.

Marissa and Hanli reunite after a couple weeks apart with plenty of stories to tell. Marissa's taking her power back by buying an overpriced egg t-shirt. Hanli explains what it means to truly become her own boss. We both reflect on what we might miss about the pandemic, what odd heirlooms we want to pass down to our future spawn and what the opposite of generational trauma is. And guys, did we mention you can finally watch our full videos on Hanli's YouTube channel? For real this time. Watch here.

Happy birthday to us! We're two years old... and we'd like to think we're just a lil bit wiser. On the theme of International Women's Day, we're figuring out what being 'that girl' means to us. You know the type. Health. Career. Social life. Finances. The whole package. The girl who has it all. But is aspiring to be her actually THAT healthy or is it even low-key toxic? We're also talking about the parts of modern womanhood that NO ONE prepared us for... and how we're coming to define being a woman on our own terms. Watch the full episode.

Is anyone else's energy just completely tapped lately? The world feels like it's burning and let's be real – it feels like we can't do much other than sit and watch. This episode, Hanli and Marissa chat about how in the wake of an international crisis, we're a lot more connected to one another than we think. Plus we're talking about the 'comparison trap' between who you are now and who you used to be, and which version of yourself you actually prefer. Watch the full episode.

Happy V-Day! On this week's exclusive episode, Marissa and her very own sister, Caitlin Trew, talk all things online dating – from Hinge and Bumble to the notorious Tinder. They cover how to build a dating profile with the perfect ratio of thirst trap:wife material, and the weird, wonderful and downright awkward encounters they've had, both online and offline. Buckle up guys, this one's a ride.

Emile Steenveld is an emotional intelligence coach and motivational speaker. He also happens to be Hanli's #1 boo-thang. In this special one-on-one episode, Hanli and Emile break down the highs and lows of the two years they've been together. Long distancing during a global pandemic, temptation, trust, jealousy and everything else that comes with matters of the heart. It's raw, it's real, it's romantic. Watch the full episode.

Happy new year guys! We know, we know. It's been a long time but thank you for being patient with us. So much has happened and we just needed a moment to live it, process it, reflect on it... you know the drill. This episode, we're going straight in. Marissa shares her struggles with grief over the recent loss of her grandmother and losing the battle to that toxic little voice inside of her head. We also cover triggering family dynamics, changing relationships with your parents, and how we're entering 2022 with a bit of a quieter bang. 

We've realised that this podcast is basically our audio journal, so get ready for another diary entry. Marissa reflects on turning the big 3-0 and the mantras she's created for the next decade. Hanli addresses the indignity of overnight pads and invents a way to make it a more... 'enriching' experience. And, we put our 'JSWC big sister' pants on for one of our beloved fans looking for a little relationship advice. We've said it before and we'll say it again, guys. We LOVE when you write in to share your experiences with us... so, send in your stories or questions, and we'll chat about them more on the pod!

Did you miss us? We missed you and boy do we have so much stuff to catch up on. Marissa talks about how a concussion ironically knocked some sense into her. Hanli shares how travelling with her parents turned her into her teenage self. Plus, we cover body appreciation (and shaming), finding the audacity to wear that daring outfit we know you have hanging in your closet... and one of life's biggest questions – should you ever get back with your ex? As always, send in your thoughts, stories and experiences. We'd love to hear it. 

We know we missed last week's episode but trust us when we say we're about to make it up to you BIG time. This week, Hanli has an exclusive interview with her Supermodel Me (@supermodelme) costar, the one and only, Cindy Sirinya Bishop (@cindysirinya). Beyond the show, Cindy is also a model, actress, and all round stellar human being.  In this conversation, we get to know the queen behind the screen by discussing how she takes care of her mental wellbeing, her battles with perfectionism, and the social causes she cares about. She is the founder of Don't Tell Me How To Dress – a creative movement against gender-based violence. 

In this post-nap Sunday chat, Marissa and Hanli let their minds roam free – from pondering the origin of their surnames to trying to work out what everyone's most 'toxic' trait is. Hanli also explores her German roots before embarking on a trip to the fatherland. Marissa processes her thoughts and feelings about a recent incident (listen to: Dear Diary, Last Week Sucked for context), and how it's affected the way she views her relationships and setting boundaries. 

This episode, we speak to the deeply inspiring mind behind Project Green Ribbon (@projectgreenribbonsg), Ling Anne Hsieh. Project Green Ribbon is a Singaporean non-profit organisation that focuses on mental health and eradicating mental health stigma – . In this conversation, Ling shares her life story and how that drove her to build the mental health resources she wishes were available during her own struggles. She explains how she plans to empower and educate individuals on the importance of building mental resilience, and to give a voice to the unheard.Please support Project Green Ribbon by donating what you can.Once again, big thank you to @vans.sg for supporting this series profiling some of Singapore's most creative minds.

Sorry this episode is late guys, but we'll be honest. Last week straight up sucked, so we took an extra minute over the weekend to just deal. Why did it suck? Well we're glad you asked. Consider this episode a little audio journal into the inner workings of each our lives. Hanli opens up about her anxieties of dealing with the rocky side of LDRs, like what happens when you have a fight. Marissa shares an awful experience of feeling bullied in her own home and how that brought other deeper issues to the surface. We know, we know. It sound a little 'doom and gloom' but you know we'll always keep it real – good or bad. 

You know the story... life gets heavy, you yearn for a change, so you pick up your whole life, move across the world and start all over again. At least that's what we tell ourselves we'll do... but let's be real, most of us never end up actually going through with it. Well, this guy did. This week, we speak to Prashant Ashoka (@prashant.ashoka) – a Singaporean photographer and writer who built a new life in Mexico, by building a stunning house in the middle of the San Miguel desert – Casa Etérea (@casa_eterea). Prashant shares the realities of starting again, from mourning the loss of his former life, the challenges of setting new foundations, the pressure to rebuild... and the reward that comes with finding new purpose. Another big shoutout to @vans.sg for supporting this series profiling some of Singapore's most creative individuals.

On this week's solo episode, Hanli and Marissa talk about those weird little money saving habits our parents instilled in us... you know the ones. "There's food at home." "Don't buy it, make it yourself." "Take the bus!" We go through which of their frugal methods worked, and which ones backfired. What we splurge on now we've earned a little cashish of our own. Figuring out our personal relationships with money... like, when will we feel like we have 'enough'? 

You might recognise this episode's guest from the sound of his beautiful voice on the radio, through his incredible music or as one of the hosts of Singapore's LGBTQ+ podcast, The SG Boys (@thesgboys) – he is the one and only Joshua Simon (@joshuasimonxl). This conversation gets deep as we explore our deepest darkest childhood fears and what we think they mean to us as adults, trying to uncover the sources of our shame, and how therapy is like addressing an invisible elephant in the room. Joshua also shares how he found ownership and authenticity in his voice through podcasting, and how that's fuelled his creativity, allowed him to embrace himself fully, and given people a safe space to feel heard and represented in media.Also, a big shoutout to @vans.sg for supporting this series profiling some of Singapore's most creative individuals.

We're back baby – season four! Did you miss us? It's been a hot minute since we've spoken last and we're just gonna dive straight in. We've got a hot new look, fresh music and this episode, we're introducing you to our alter egos and the many sides of us that only certain people get to see. Marissa's drunken self toes the line between cheeky and arrogant, while Hanli's relationship self is all gushy and soft. We also cover preserving our emotional energy, setting important boundaries, and trying to find that beautiful balance between your 'masculine' and 'feminine'.  

Can you believe it guys? The end of SEASON 3 of this cute little podcast. We'll be back in a couple of months with SO much more up our sleeves that we can't wait to share. But until then, we're signing off with this little solo episode where we get up to our usual nonsense. We're talking LDR reunions (Hanli's man is finally in town), cutting onions and emotional breakdowns, learning how to twerk, and how we just CANNOT wait to pop bottles in the klerb when the world finally reopens. Plus a shout-out to you dear listeners... we wouldn't be where we are without you. So thank you. 

Lets be real ... How many of us buy different vitamins and supplements off iHerb that we eventually forget to take? Put your hand up if you can't even remember what each pill is for. Do we even really know what that long list of ingredients are actually doing to our body? This week, we speak to Maya Kale (@mayzkale), co-founder of Moom Health (@moomhealth), about how we can make wellness as simple as possible, by focusing on the bare essentials. We break down what it really means to listen to your body, how to figure out what on earth it's actually saying and what our own personal health needs are.

Full disclosure: we each drank a biiiiig glass of wine while we recorded this one. We're talking heartbreak. The emotional agony. The physical pain. The brutal recovery process. Let our stories be your survival guide, because we KNOW how much it hurts. Along with our special guest, Nixalina Watson of Sex & The Singapore City, we're spilling the deets about the biggest heartbreaks we've each had and what it's taught us about love, loss and finding the strength to carry on. We cover:The initial agony – accept it's gonna hurtHow to start the healing processWhat NOT to do... (don't contact them)How do you know when you're finally okay?

This weird and wonderful episode, we talk about ALL sorts of things on our mind. Hanli calls out her trolls on the internet. We ponder our accents... do we have to SOUND Singaporean to BE Singaporean? And, Marissa points out the difference between being alone and feeling lonely, by sharing what she's been going through and what she's learned along the way. In light of all the new social distancing rules, we're sending another little reminder to look out for your mental health – mute those notifications, get some fresh air, check in with your friends. And if you need support, please reach out. Sending lots of love.

Gong baths, crystal bowls, sound meditation. Maybe you've heard of it, maybe you've tried it... but what exactly is it and how does it work? This week, Hanli interviews Christina Michele Rios (@christinamrios), an intuitive ceremonialist that's helping bring these ancient rituals back into our modern world. Born with intuitive gifts, Christina left the comfort of her corporate job to pursue a more spiritual endeavour – facilitating ceremonies to guide people closer to their most authentic self. Christina shares her story and runs through the basics of these mystical practices and how they can help us in modern life.We discuss:What exactly is a "healer"?The power we hold to heal ourselvesThe history of sound meditationThe origins of the gong and crystal bowlWhat to expect during a sound meditation sessionThe science behind sound healing

Solo episode story time! This week, Hanli and Marissa discuss soulmates (turns out we have more than one), twin flames and guardian angels... and what it means when you meet one in real life. Hanli shares a heartwarming tale about meeting the spirit of her puppy Zelda. Marissa talks about recognising how life moves forward regardless of what we do, so we shouldn't get bogged down by over-thinking every decision we make... And to quote a wise friend, we're only in the "pre-drinks of life", so we may as well just enjoy the ride. 

In celebration of Earth Day, we're chatting to Steph Dickson – founder of Green Is The New Black (@greenisthenewblackcom) and the Live Wide Awake (@livewideawake) podcast – about the planet we know and love, and what we can do to make sure we're doing our bit to protect it.We cover:What is intersectional environmentalism?How do we cope with eco-anxiety?I'm just one person, how much impact could I really have?What little green steps can we take to be more planet-friendly?How can we put pressure on governments and corporations to take climate action seriously?

Guys. Do yourself a favour. brew yourself some tea and get cosy before you tune into this one. In this very special episode, Marissa interviews Niall Breslin (@bressie) – the host of not one but two brilliant podcasts, Where's My Mind ? and Wake Up/Wind Down – and they delve deep into the good, the bad and the ugly of mindfulness, meditation and mental health. In this hour long chat, they talk about the difficult stuff... from revealing truths about their personal mental health struggles to how meditation can offer a bit of calm in this hectic world.They cover: Why mindfulness isn't easy...but we need to practice it anywayHow to meditate (it's not as hard as you think)The dangers of the wellness industry, social media and insta-therapyGetting comfortable with pain; importance of our negative emotionsThe gender debate: are women more in tune with their emotions than men?Cancel culture: are some people just worth cancelling altogether?Finding humour in our imperfectionsBuilding your own definition of spirituality ... and SO much more.

This episode, we chat to Xi Liu, CEO and founder of Ferne Health – a healthcare provider that offers at-home STD tests and women's health screening kits – about all the weird, wonderful and sometimes gross things our bodies do... and how being embarrassed to talk about it can put us at risk. We chat about:Why it's difficult to discuss women's health Understanding how our different lady bits workThe ins and outs of dischargeWhy you need to get checked regularly The link between our mental health and sexual wellbeingHow sexual health stigma can affect our relationships What to do if you've tested positive for something