The Roast and Toast Podcast

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Do you like watching bad movies? Do you like films with terrible tropes, awful scripts, and poor acting? So do we...more or less! Join in with hosts Jordan Geisler, John Shupe and Rhiane Steinhauer to roast and toast bad movies! Together they'll pick out

Jordan Geisler


    • Dec 20, 2022 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 1h 9m AVG DURATION
    • 68 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from The Roast and Toast Podcast

    S3E25: The Roast & Toast of "Santa With Muscles"

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 20, 2022 60:24


    It's probably long overdue that we cover a Hulk Hogan movie, and a Christmas movie--that doesn't really have anything to do with Christmas--is the perfect time for getting to watch him in action! Jordan, John, and Rhiane dissect this awful Christmas movie and its many flaws, such as having too many goons, a weird rooftop fight scene, how not a single person recognizes Hulk Hogan's character at any point, the illegality of literally stealing property from someone, a bumbling cop, and so much more! Later, the group does a segment of Tag It and All sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Thanks for sticking with us for a whole three seasons! We'll be returning in the new year, so stay tuned!

    S3E24: The Roast & Toast of "Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas"

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2022 65:09


    It's the most wonderful time of the year, so now we need the most wonderful movie of the year! We watched the Lifetime original movie starring the late Grumpy Cat, and boy is there a lot to say about it. Jordan, John, and Rhiane discuss terrible child acting, lame school bullies that are in the movie for one whole minute, the danger of a bird not being in a cage, the terrible casting and voice acting for every character except for Aubrey Plaza as Grumpy Cat, incredibly dark moments for a children's movie, and so much more! Later, the group does a segment of Fact or Fiction and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the Lifetiem Christmas movie "Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever" as it will be the topic of our next episode.

    S3E23: The Roast & Toast of "Santa Conquers the Martians"

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2022 40:01


    It's time for another Christmas film, and this one is (unfortunately) out of this world--Mars, to be exact. Jordan, John, and Rhiane discuss one of the absolute worst movies they've ever seen. They point out issues like a furry polar bear before furries were a thing, children being kidnapped by aliens, a lone news station traveling all the way to the North Pole and securing an interview with Santa, a lack of distinguishing identifiers for all the aliens, Santa sassing his own wife, and much more. Later, they do a segment of Fact or Fiction and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the Lifetiem Christmas movie "Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever" as it will be the topic of our next episode.

    S3E22: The Roast & Toast of "Santa Girl"

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2022 71:17


    Behold! Stars of our childhood come together to make an absolutely abysmal Christmas film. Jennifer Stone and Devon Werkheiser play in this made for TV movie that primarily takes place in some unfortunate person's house. Together, Jordan, John and Rhiane discuss the movie's many flaws, such as the lack of logic involving Santa's daughter going to college for only one semester, an annoying elf sister, an unbelievable spit scene, Santa having a Ferrari instead of a sled, and soooo much more. Later, they do a segment of Re-cast and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 1964 film "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" as it will be the next episode in our installment of Christmas films.

    S3E21: The Roast & Toast of "Knowing"

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2022 67:08


    Third time's the charm for Nicolas Cage! It's his third time on the podcast, and we're digging into his sci-fi movie "Knowing" and how awful it is. Jordan, John, and Rhiane discuss the movies many issues, like having Rose Byrne show up for only 25 minutes of the film, an extreme lack of "Stranger Danger" practices, the phrase "go to the caves," Nic Cage's sleeping and drinking problem, a hard of hearing child using sign language literally twice, Nic Cage making a mess of his home at every opportunity, the strange references to religion, and much more! Later, they do a segment of Tag It and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the movie 2019 Christmas movie "Santa Girl" as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode as we begin Spooky Season with episodes every Tuesday! Thanks for listening!

    S3E20: The Roast & Toast of "Jennifer's Body"

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2022 58:52


    It's time to cover the cult classic Megan Fox horror comedy "Jennifer's Body" in another podcast edition of Spooky Season! The gang discuss Rhiane's recommendation, and they altogether agree it is worthy of being a cult classic. They discuss spiky vomit and how it could've been real, a very uncomfortable whoopee scene in which the man doesn't pay any attention to the woman's discomfort, an amazing roundhouse kick to a prison nurse, bunny slippers in prison, a sketchy satanist band, JK Simmons' insane role, and much more! Later, they do a segment of Fact or Fiction and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the Nic Cage film "Knowing" as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode as we begin Spooky Season with episodes every Tuesday! Thanks for listening!

    S3E19: The Roast & Toast of "Old"

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2022 67:02


    Behold, one of the most depressing thrillers of all-time: "Old"! Jordan, John, and Rhiane discuss this movie, which may send you into a stage 4 depression, and it's many flaws, such as name drop after name drop, so much racism, confusion about accents, no makeup for people who are supposedly aging quickly, a lack of character changes, six year-olds knowing about sex, a terrifying beetle-reminiscent death scene, and much more. Later, they do a segment of ReCast and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the Megan Fox cult classic "Jennifer's Body" as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode as we begin Spooky Season with episodes every Tuesday! Thanks for listening!

    S3E18: The Roast & Toast of "Killer Sofa"

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 4, 2022 57:57


    Watch where you sit, you've got to keep your eyes peeled for the Killer Recliner--uh, er, Killer Sofa! Jordan, John, and Rhiane discuss John's pick for Spooky Season and how its title is misleading, why the female lead is trying to have a relationship with her gay roommate who wants nothing to do with her, witchcraft, Jello blood, why a man is living inside a recliner, the relationship between the old magi and his girlfriend, a pill problem that is never explained, a man having whoopee with a bra and purse, detectives named Grape and Gravy, and a heck of a lot more. Later, they do a segment of Fact or Fiction and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 2021 movie "Old" as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode as we begin Spooky Season with episodes every Tuesday! Thanks for listening!

    S3E17: The Roast & Toast of "Hanging Up"

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2022 60:29


    Behold, a Nora Ephron flop! Jordan, John, and Rhiane discuss their absolute disgust for the 2000 dramedy "Hanging Up." They dig into the absolute hatred they have for Diane Keaton's character, how many phones Meg Ryan has, the insanity of the car crash and all the drama that follows it, Lisa Kudrow's lacking presence, a power strut down a hospital wing, Cloris Leachman's literal two seconds in the movie, and much more. Later, they do a segment of and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the movie "Killer Sofa" as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode as we begin Spooky Season with episodes every Tuesday! Thanks for listening!

    S3E16: The Roast & Toast of "Norbit"

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 13, 2022 68:48


    It's not every day you get a movie that is offensive to all, but that's what you get with "Norbit"! Jordan, John, and Rhiane sit down to discuss one of--if not the--worst Eddie Murphy movie ever made. They pick apart the blatant racism, fat-shaming body suit for Rasputia, Rapsutia's misshapen and often newly-sized boobs, terrible jokes but funny fart gags, attention to chicken butt prop detail, the local pimps, and much more. Later, they do a segment of Hallmark Movie Romance, Marry, Kill and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the Diane Keaton-directed dramedy "Hanging Up" as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S3E15: The Roast & Toast of "License to Wed"

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2022 69:40


    If you live for the cringe, then saddle up for our discussion of the Robin Williams film "License to Wed." Jorda, John, and Rhiane discuss their many beefs with this movie, such as Robin Williams' insane role as the world's worst pastor and marriage coach, terrible family dynamics, the lack of chemistry between our main characters, John Krasinski's character being unable to handle 2 weeks of no whoopee, the illegality of bugging someone's apartment, the insanity of planning a wedding in two weeks, and so much more! Later, they do a new segment called Recast, and they also do a segment of All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the Eddie Murphy comedy "Norbit" as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S3E14: The Roat & Toast of "Life Or Something Like It"

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 16, 2022 61:27


    We'd like to give a warm round of applause to Angelina Jolie as we welcome her first movie onto the podcast! Jordan, John, and Rhiane have MANY things to say about Angelina's atrocious blonde wig, as well as the fact this is definitely not a rom-com, the awkwardness of the protesting news clip, no love connection between the leads, the authenticity of the psychic, Angelina's crazy willingness to believe the psychic, the "groundbreaking" news interview that lasts a whole 60 seconds, a terrible gun scene, and more. Later, they do a segment of Hallmark Movie Romance, Marry, Kill and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the Robin Williams film "License to Wed," as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S3E13 : The Roast & Toast of "Deadly Detention"

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 2, 2022 66:43


    Everyone loves the "Breakfast Club," but everybody hates this terrible movie. Jordan, John, and Rhiane discuss the 2017 thriller "Deadly Detention" and its many issues, such as the laughably bad dialogue, a glass trophy that looks like a dildo, a terrible villain reveal, tasteless whoopee, a weird hype scene, no character development, fake skateboarding skills, and so much more. Later they do a segment of Reenactors and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the Angelina Jolie film "Life Or Something Like It" as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S3E12: The Roast & Toast of "Plan 9 From Outer Space"

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 19, 2022 52:20


    If you enjoy watching movies that make literally no sense and have plot lines that impossible to follow, then you need to watch this one. Jordan, John, and Rhiane sit down to talk about John's throwback sci-fi film that none of them really understood. They discuss impossible waistlines, terrible screaming, people never reacting, UFO planets, crazy fight scenes, pilots not knowing what to do when passing a UFO, and a lot more. Later they do a segment of Fact or Fiction and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 2018 thriller "Deadly Detention," as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S3E11: Roast & Toast of Tyler Perry's "Daddy's Little Girls"

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2022 76:37


    We can't get enough of tropes, racial stereotypes, and terrible plot lines, so it's time for yet another Tyler Perry movie! Jordan, John, and Rhiane discuss the many flaws with this film, including Idris Elba's rape charge that was terribly explained, Gabrielle Union's terrible attitude, sassy children, the craziness of drug lords, weird club dancing, problematic almost-whoopee, Craig Robinson's amazing cameo, and more. Later, they do a segment of Hallmark Movie Romance, Marry, Kill and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 1957 sci-fi film "Plan 9 From Outer Space," as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S3E10: The Roast & Toast of "Glitter"

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 21, 2022 70:38


    We watched "Glitter," a movie that's almost as flawed as the production "Birdemic." Jordan, John, and Rhiane discuss the Mariah Carey romantic musical (?) drama and its many issues, such as Mariah Carey's inability to act, lip synch, and express emotion, the lack of chemistry between our leads, the crazy and unexplained streaks of glittery paint on Mariah, the legal repercussions of taking someone's voice and using it for someone else, the insanity that was the costume department for this movie, Mariah's cat that appears only twice, and soooo much more! Later they do a segment of Fact or Fiction and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the Tyler Perry drama "Tyler Perry's Daddy's Little Girls" as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S3E9: The Roast & Toast of "Snake Island"

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 7, 2022 68:48


    Who doesn't love bad creature features? You know we do! Jordan, John, and Rhiane watched the 2002 film "Snake Island," and they have sooo much to say. They discuss the thousands of snakes (both CGI and real), the crazy nudity, awful snake deaths, the presence of snakes but lack of snake attacks until the final 40 minutes of the movie, snake-smashing, an incredible almost-whoopee scene, underwater sports, the geography of Snake Island, and so much more! Later they double segment of All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 2001 Mariah Carey film "Glitter" as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S3E8: The Roast & Toast of "The Shaggy Dog"

    Play Episode Listen Later May 24, 2022 59:32


    2006 was a really dark time for Tim Allen's career, but that just gives us more material for the podcast! Jordan, John, and Rhiane discuss the flawed and not safe for family comedy "The Shaggy Dog." They discuss problematic issues such as Tim Allen's frequent nudity, Kristen Davis being way too good for Tim Allen, tramp stamps, Spencer Breslin's terrible acting, Robert Downey Junior being on drugs, growling in a courtroom, human-to-dog transformations, and sooooo much more. Later, they do a segment of Tag It and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 2002 creature feature "Snake Island" as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S3E7: Roast & Toast of "View From The Top"

    Play Episode Listen Later May 10, 2022 36:19


    We really thought Gwyneth Paltrow was going to join us for this episode, but she, once again, fell through and wasn't able to make it. Maybe next time? Regardless, we watched her 2003 comedy, and we have some things to discuss, such as Rob Lowe being in this movie for a whole 30 seconds, Mike Myers' lazy eye, airplane soaps that don't quite look like airplanes, Christina Applegate's character stealing booze, Mark Ruffalo's charm, and whether or not Kelly Preston had breast enhancements in this movie. Later, we do a segment of Hallmark Movie Romance, Marry, Kill and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the Tim Allen family film "The Shaggy Dog" as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S3E6: The Roast & Toast of "Paparazzi"

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 26, 2022 67:45


    Who doesn't love a revenge flick? We watched the Mel Gibson-produced 2004 thriller "Paparazzi" whose only stars were there as cameos. Jordan, John, and Rhiane discuss the highs and lows of this movie, such as a crazy green screen death, incredibly circumstantial evidence, date rape on a boat, living on a boat, well-planned murder plots, being nude at a resort, and a lot more. Later, they do a segment of Fact or Fiction and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the Gwyneth Paltrow comedy "View From the Top" as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S3E5: The Roast & Toast of "Taxi"

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 12, 2022 66:06


    We all love buddy comedies, especially when they involve incredibly altered taxis and a cop who gets guns confiscated only to continuously find another one. We watched the Queen Latifah and Jimmy Fallon comedy "Taxi," and we have a lot to say. Jordan, John, and Rhiane discusses the many issues of the movie, such as bad bicycle riding, Ann Margaret's amazing performance as an alcoholic, sloppy kissing, living in a garage, Jimmy Fallon being unable to drive and function as a cop, the terrible acting of the models, and more. Later, they do a segment of Best and Worst and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 2004 thriller "Paparazzi," as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S3E4: The Roast & Toast of "The Lawnmower Man"

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 29, 2022 73:57


    John wanted a sci-fi flick, so we got him a sci-fi flick! We watched the Pierce Brosnan movie "The Lawnmower Man," and we sure do have a lot to say. Jordan, John, and Rhiane dissect the many issues, like Pierce Brosnan gradual shirtless-ness, Job's terrible haircut, whoopee in virtual reality, lab monkey POV, child abuse, a comic book collection made up of five comic books, religious symbolism, and more. Later, they do a segment of Fact or Fiction and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the Queen Latifah and Jimmy Fallon buddy comedy "Taxi," as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S3E3: The Roast & Toast of "White Chicks"

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2022 62:57


    Everybody loves a cult classic, but we don't--well, actually, Rhiane does, but Jordan and John don't. We watched the iconic movie "White Chicks" starring two of the famous Wayans brothers, but we don't know who they are at any point of the movie. The gang sits down and gets into Busy Phillips' amazing performance and hilarious one-liners, Rhiane's connection to this movie and how we almost got a celeb on the show, whether or not the use of white face was problematic or not for the time the movie came out, Terry Crews and his rendition of "1,000 Miles," whether or not poop humor is funny, date rape drinks, and more. Later they do a segment of Fact or Fiction and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the Pierce Brosnan sci-fi flick "The Lawnmower Man," as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S3E2: The Roast & Toast of "Left Behind"

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 1, 2022 82:18


    It's about time we revisited Nicolas Cage, so we watched the religious disaster film "Left Behind"! Jordan, John, and Rhiane discuss the many, many, many problems with this movie adaptation of the hit book series of the same name. Together they discuss Jordin Sparks having only three scenes, how this film would've been elevated with Ashley Tisdale, so much running, Leah Thompson's "rocky marriage" that's due to her religious beliefs, dancing at the mall, crazy guesses as to why people disappeared out of thin air, and so much more. Later, they do a segment of Reenactors and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the iconic cult classic movie "White Chicks," as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S3E1: The Roast & Toast of "The Love Letter"

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 15, 2022 57:20


    Welcome to season three! To kick off the new season, we welcome back our favorite failed actress: Ellen! She stars in yet another unsuccessful movie, this one being a 1999 romantic comedy (?). Together, Jordan, John, and Rhiane discuss the movie's many flaws, including Thomas Everett Scott's love attraction, Kate Capshaw's terrible hat choice and inability to run, a completely unnoticed Jack Black cameo, random scene jumps, poor apologies, and so much more. Later, they do a segment of All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the Nic Cage movie "Left Behind," as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2E22: The Roast & Toast of "A Madea Christmas"

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2021 81:24


    Merry Christmas, everyone! What better way is there to celebrate the most magical time of year than to watch Tyler Perry's 2013 holiday film centered around his iconic creation, Madea? Jordan, John, and Rhiane sit down to discuss this troubling holiday film, like how in the world Chad Michael Murray ended up in this movie, Larry the Cable Guy's Prilosec OTC sponsorship, the character Eileen's racism, Alicia Witt's wardrobe, the unmentioned but obvious abuse of Tika Sumpter's student, how a school spends $100,000, and a heck of a lot more! Later, they do a Tyler Perry-centered segment of Hallmark Movie Romance, Marry, Kill and All Sides! Unfortunately, due to technical errors, the season finale episode did not turn out, so this episode will be wrapping up season three! We're so thankful for our listeners and all who have been a part of our podcast. Tune back in February 1, 2022 for the debut of season three! Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 1999 film "The Love Letter," starring Kate Capshaw and Ellen DeGeneres, as it will be the topic of discussion for the first episode of season three. Thanks for listening!

    S2E21: The Roast & Toast of "Jason X"

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2021 62:04


    Behold! The first ever fan-recommended movie! We watched the tenth feature in the murderous Jason Voorhees film franchise, and like all other tired franchises, it all goes down in space! Jordan, John, and Rhiane discuss the many features of this 2002 horror film, including the many deaths via stomach wounds, the death by head in liquid nitrogen, hockey being outlawed in 2024, how many early 2000s horror movies were awful and low budget, so many horny teenagers, crazy nipple fetishes, two characters having access to BDSM outfits, and SO much more. We did do a segment of Fact or Fiction and All Sides, but due to inexplicable technical issues, we were lost the audio for those segments, as well as the final bits of discussion for the movie. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the Tyler Perry holiday movie "A Madea Christmas," as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2E20: The Roast & Toast of "Hide and Seek"

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 16, 2021 52:29


    Robert De Niro, come out, come out, wherever you are! We watched the 2005 horror movie "Hide and Seek" starring Robert De Niro (with his second time on the podcast) and Dakota Fanning, and we have a lot of thoughts. John defends his appreciation for the film while Jordan and Rhiane voice their distaste for it. However, even John can acknowledge the fact that there are many flaws, like the fact Robert's split personality disorder is never explained, why two people need a giant house, Dakota needing mental help that she's clearly not getting, Famke's illogical almost-death scene, four alternate endings, and a lot more. Later, they do a segment of Fact or Fiction and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the horror movie "Jason X," as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2E19: The Roast & Toast of "Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor"

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 2, 2021 72:32


    We've missed our Razzie winners, so we decided to go to a Razzie staple: Tyler Perry! Jordan, John, and Rhiane watch Tyler Perry's highest-grossing drama that doesn't feature him as one of the actors, and boy do they have a lot to say. Together, the gang talks about Judith's crummy therapist office, Vanessa Williams' terrible French accent and lack of French vocab, Kim Kardashian only having one tone and constantly insulting people, the lack of a business model for the match-making company, how the only people supporting Bryce's pharmacy are people suffering from AIDS, Judith's mom being a terrible Christian who broke into Judith's apartment, and a heck of a lot more! Later, they do a segment of Tag It and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the early 2000s horror movie "Hide and Seek," starring Robert De Niro, as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2E18: The Roast & Toast of "The Astronaut's Wife"

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2021 63:19


    We all love a movie about space, especially when they make no sense! So of course Jordan, John, and Rhiane have a lot of say about the 1999 sci-fi flick "The Astronaut's Wife." They discuss whether or not Charlize Theron's character is raped by her husband or not, Charlize dancing while eating whip-cream in the kitchen, Johnny Depp maintaining his country accent for the ENTIRE movie, a lack of explanation as to what the heck the radio waves are, Charlize's character looking high in her death fantasy, and a lot more. Later, they do a segment of Hallmark, Marry, Kill and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 2013 romance drama "Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor," as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2E17: The Roast & Toast of "Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead"

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 5, 2021 73:41


    We all love a movie featuring a dysfunctional family, but we don't like one where the kids hide the death of a babysitter while their mom is in Australia and one of the kids works while the others do drugs, steal, and don't contribute or do anything with their lives. And unfortunately, that's all there is for this 1991 cult classic. Jordan, John, and Rhiane talk about the movie that doesn't deliver on its title, and they discuss its numerous problems, such as Sue Ellen getting a job in a snap, the poor parenting of a mom running off to another continent for two months, whoopee harassment in the workplace, the strangeness of the fashion company and how it's not really a fashion company, the awful uniforms Sue Ellen makes, the excessive dis-likability of all the children, and a lot more. Later, they do a segment of Fact or Fiction and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 1999 sci-fi film "The Astronaut's Wife," as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2E16: The Roast & Toast of "Krippendorf's Tribe"

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 21, 2021 60:46


    If you're looking to dig up and discover a great new movie, this isn't the one. Jordan, John, and Rhiane talk about all the ways the 1998 comedy "Krippendorf's Tribe" fell flat, such as the use of blackface, the lack of explanations for literally everything, Jenna Elfman's character being used for a sex tape without her knowing, not having a hero to cheer for, the excessive almost-nudity of the children, and so much more. Later, they do a segment of Fact or Fiction and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 1991 cult classic comedy "Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead," as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2E15: The Roast & Toast of "Dead Heat"

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 7, 2021 67:20


    Who doesn't love a buddy-cop adventure? And who doesn't like zombies? Well, the 1988 film "Dead Heat" has it all! Jordan, John, and Rhiane sit down to talk about what they perceive to be a great bad movie. They discuss major issues such as having an ending where everyone dies, random running in the library, knowing the exact time of someone's death, referring to Mulberry lipstick in order to break someone out of a brain-dead trance, incessant shooting at zombies who are knowingly resistant to bullets, and a heck of a lot more. Later, they do a segment of Tag It and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 1998 comedy "Krippendorf's Tribe," as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2 E14: The Roast & Toast of "Wing Commander"

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 24, 2021 59:16


    It's time to launch into the next frontier: space! But Jordan, John, and Rhiane aren't ready for it after watching the awful film 1999 film "Wing Commander." Together they discuss how none of them really understand the point of the movie, the pointless plot of pilgrims, Freddie Prinze Jr.'s chunky plastic necklace, a Sarah Michelle Gellar poster, the cat-like Kilrathi that only sometimes have subtitles, the character Angel's inability to have compassion, and a lot more. Later they do a segment of Hallmark Movie Romance, Marry, Kill, plus a segment of All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 1988 buddy cop film "Dead Heat," as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2E13: The Roast & Toast of "The Stepfather"

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2021 80:41


    Blended families are difficult sometimes, as is evident in the 2009 film "The Stepfather" starring Penn Badgeley. Jordan, John, and Rhiane talk about the almost thrilling thriller and its drawbacks, such as having far too many pool scenes, Amber Heard only wearing a bikini or pajamas in her scenes, the indestructibility of flip phones, illegal business dealings at Jackie's real estate company, the stepdad being a real estate agent for two days and then quitting, the unexplained mystery as to why Penn's character was at military school, a new rule of tank for guys, and much more! Later they do a segment of All Sides and Worst and Best. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 1999 thriller "Wing Commander," starring Freddie Prinze Jr., as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2E12: The Roast & Toast of "Birdemic: The Resurrection"

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2021 82:09


    Jordan, John, and Rhiane did what they thought could never be done--they watched another James Nguyen film! More specifically, they watched the sequel to the infamous production "Birdemic: Shock and Terror" called "Birdemic: The Resurrection." Together, the gang wholeheartedly agrees that Birdemic 2, unlike it's predecessor, is actually a movie! They discuss the MANY flaws with the film (both carried over from the original production, and completely original issues) such as awful audio quality, the most wooden acting you've ever seen, Natalie giving it her all in her performance, an absolutely unforgivable jellyfish attack scene, unwarranted nudity, an unfounded fact about birds hating hangers, a lack of references/explanations of what happened in "Birdemic: Shock and Terror," poorly-used and unnecessary background sound effects, panning shots of restaurants, and so much more! Later they do a brand new segment created specially for this movie, plus a segment of All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 2009 thriller (?!?!?!?!) "The Stepfather," starring Penn Badgely, as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2E11: The Roast & Toast of "I Hate Kids"

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2021 61:41


    Who doesn't want a film centered around family? It's too bad you won't find that with the 2018 flick "I Hate Kids." Jordan, John, and Rhiane pick apart the movie and its various issues such as the awful actor portraying Mason, Sydney's undying loyalty to her fiancé, Nick's sluttiness, the obsession for red drinks as props, the mannequin lady, clown college, and a heck of a lot more. Later, they do a double-sized segment of All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 2013 romantic thriller (?!?!?!?!) "Birdemic 2: The Resurrection" as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2E10: The Roast & Toast of "When a Stranger Calls"

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 29, 2021 58:28


    Time for a scary movie! But don't worry, it's far from being terrifying--it's basically PG. Jordan, John, and Rhiane dig into the 2006 thriller that has zero thrills. They discuss issues such as Camilla Belle's inability to act, Clark Gregg's literal 30 seconds in the movie, a very long scarf that needs to be burned, a lack of motivation for anything, having an anonymous killer who isn't relevant to anything, a wasted five minute intro to the movie, heavy breathing, and a lot more. Later they do a segment of Re-enactors and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 2018 comedy "I Hate Kids" as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2E9: The Roast & Toast of "The Wedding Planner"

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 15, 2021 70:10


    Love is in the air on, but maybe not for Jennifer Lopez! Upon Rhiane's (or was it John's? We don't remember) request, we watched the 2001 J-Lo and Matthew McConaughey rom-com, and we sure do have some thoughts about it. Jordan, John, and Rhiane talk about the unfortunate story arc of the character Mossimo, J-Lo accepting a proposal with Scrabble tiles, Judy Greer's enjoyable performance, Jordan spotting a bad wig, the waste of only eating brown M & M's, J-Lo's depressing drunk moment, and whether or not J-Lo should've ended up with Matthew. Later they do a segment of Fact or Fiction and All Sides! Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 2006 thriller "When a Stranger Calls" as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2E8 : The Roast & Toast of "Racing Stripes"

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 1, 2021 66:25


    Everyone enjoys a good underdog story, ESPECIALLY when it's about zebras racing horses. Jordan, John, and Rhiane watched the 2005 family film "Racing Stripes" upon Rhiane's love and devotion for it, and they sure do have a lot to say about it. They discuss the excessive verbal assault, Whoopi Goldberg getting roped into this awful production, the awfulness of the pelican, people being unfazed by wild animals roaming about, an overload of poop and fart jokes, the horse mafia, and a heck of a lot more. Later, John vies for his second win in Fact or Fiction and the gang does a segment of All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Also, despite what Jordan says, check out the 2001 rom-com "The Wedding Planner" as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2E7: The Roast & Toast of "Marci X"

    Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2021 63:08


    If culture-appropriating movies are your thing, then it's time to watch the 2003 Lisa Kudrow movie "Marci X." Jordan, John, and Rhiane talk about the outstanding flaws in this poor excuse of a rom-com, including, but not limited to, massive moments of racism, Damon Wayans awful acting and voice, Lisa's jokes about her dad being Jewish, the hilarious song titles, all things Christine Baranski in her role as Senator Spinkle, the songs "Power in my Purse" and "In the Butt," and so much more. Later, they do a segment of All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 2005 movie "Racing Stripes" as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2E6: Roast & Toast of "Time Trap"

    Play Episode Listen Later May 4, 2021 63:18


    Everyone loves a good time travel movie, especially when they don't make sense! John and Rhiane help explain the movie to Jordan's feeble mind, and they all point out the many flaws, such as the Furby's death, having two similar-looking blonde girls in the same movie, the search for hippies, mulitple entrances to the fountain of youth, murderous cavemen, and a heck of a ton more. Later, they do a segment of Tag It and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 2003 comedy movie "Marci X," as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2E5: The Roast & Toast of "She-Devil"

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 20, 2021 80:50


    Behold, the most progressive revenge story ever told, and from 1989 of all years! Jordan, John, and Rhiane discuss their love for the Meryl Streep and Roseanne Barr film, including Roseanne's business abilities, Meryl Streep being a good mother but terrible person for being with a married man, Ed Begley Jr.'s booty shot, Roseanne's disgusting doughnut make-out scene, the death of Meryl's dog, an incredible green screen explosion, and so much more! Later they do a segment of All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 2017 sci-fi flick "Time Trap" as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2E4: The Roast & Toast of "Bats"

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 6, 2021 71:48


    Everyone loves a good creature-feature, so we watched the 1999 horror movie "Bats"--only, it wasn't that good. Jordan, John, and Rhiane point out the several moments of poor dialogue, the thick and terribly fake bats, the resurgence of women wearing only tank tops, the lack of romance and whoopee-making between the leads and how that may be a good thing, bat poison that isn't poisonous, map-pointing skills, and a heck of a lot more. Later, they do a segment of Fact or Fiction in which John gets his first ever win! Plus there's a segment of All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 1989 comedy movie "She-Devil," as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2E3: The Roast & Toast of "The Family"

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 23, 2021 68:27


    Are you ready for a family-centered flick focusing on the challenges of fitting in? Sorry, but "The Family" starring Robert DeNiro and Michelle Pfeiffer ain't it. Jordan, John, and Rhiane sit down to discuss this awful film and its many flaws, such as anything and everything involving the daughter Belle, Robert DeNiro's pent-up rage, the kid with a mole, the absolute insanity of a newspaper getting from Normandy to New Jersey, not getting any plot information, Michelle Pfeiffer blowing up a grocery store, and a heck of a lot more. Later, they do a segment of Fact or Fiction and All Sides! Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 1999 horror movie "Bats," as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2E2: The Roast & Toast of "Teaching Mrs.Tingle"

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 9, 2021 79:19


    Who doesn't a good revenge movie? Not us! Especially when it's "Teaching Mrs.Tingle." Despite their love for Dame Helen Mirren, Jordan, John, and Rhiane discuss their absolute hatred for this moving while going on many tangents to avoid remembering the horror of this film. Together, they point out problems such as Katie Holmes' crazy make-whoopee scene, the lack of any real scares or thrills, the morality (or immorality) of the characters, Molly Ringwald's terrible acting, Vivica A. Fox's literal 20 seconds in the movie, and much more! Later, they do a segment of Fact or Fiction and a segment of All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the dark comedy movie "The Family" starring Robert DeNiro and Michelle Pfeiffer, as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S2E1: The Roast & Toast of Tyler Perry's "The Single Moms Club"

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 23, 2021 84:46


    Welcome to season two! It's time for a mom's night out! But if you like bad movies, that will also justify watching this awful chick flick. Jordan, John, and Rhiane pick through the nitty gritty in this Tyler Perry film, including typical racial stereotypes, Amy Smart's abysmal acting (if you can call it that), Wendi McLendon-Covey's character's racism, Amy Smart's character's dialogue about erecting wood, the lack of people having jobs, the name TK and what it might stand for, and SO much more. Later, the gang does a segment of Hallmark Movie Romance, Marry, Kill and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Check out the 1999 scary (?) movie movie "Teaching Mrs.Tingle" starring Dame Helen Mirren, as it will be the topic of discussion for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S1E21: The Roast & Toast of "Moose: The Movie"

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 2, 2021 75:28


    Who doesn't love a good creature-feature? Not this group of movie-watchers! Jordan, John, and Rhiane only like the bad ones, so they watched "Moose: The Movie," and they sure do have a lot to say about it. There's plenty to cover, such as the town's cannibalism problem, unibrowed puppeteers, no consideration for forensic evidence, Elmer Fudd lisps, unsafe puppets, mail-order bride jokes, and so much more. Later, they do a segment of All Sides and Fact or Fiction. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. We'll be on a break for the next month, but we'll return in February, so stay tuned. Thanks for listening!

    S1E20: The Roast &Toast of "Love 'n' Dancing"

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 10, 2021 82:10


    Are you looking for a film that combines romance with the art of west coast swing? Then find some other movie, 'cause that's not what "Love 'n' Dancing" is about. Jordan, John, and Rhiane discuss the 2008 flop and it's many problems, including, but not limited to, Amy Smart's terrible acting, whether or not Tom Malloy's character is actually deaf, the insane dialogue, the inclusivity that's ultimately used to make fun of characters, the utter lack of romance, and so much more. Later, they do a segment of Reenactors and All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. We'll be on a break for the next month, but we'll return in February, so stay tuned. Thanks for listening!

    S1E19: The Roast & Toast of "Unaccompanied Minors"

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 22, 2020 79:54


    Merry Christmas! In the second and final installment of the Christmas-themed episodes, the gang sits down to roast some chestnuts by the fire, as well as roast the 2006 Christmas film "Unaccompanied Minors." They point out problems such as Charlie's obsession with Santa despite being Jewish, Donna's past trauma and aversion to being touched by people, the wonder of the sledding scene, the character Beef as a whole, the movie's one funny line by Lewis Black, and the lack of care for any child in the movie. Later they do a super-sized segment of All Sides. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Also, watch the 2015 movie "MOOSE: The Movie", as it will be the topic of conversation for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

    S1E18: The Roast & Toast of "Christmas with the Andersons"

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 8, 2020 67:29


    It's the holiday season, so of course it's time for some bad Christmas movies! We watched "Christmas with the Andersons," a movie that honestly doesn't really exist. The group goes into the many fatal flaws of the film, such as the war on poor people, Christy Carlson Romano's two facial expressions used in the movie, the lack of any plot, the mystery behind the disappearing country accents, whether or not the Andersons were ever that wealthy, the Russian interior decorator, and SO much more. Later they do a sad segment of All Sides and a resurrected segment of Smash, Marry, Kill. Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know that this podcast is worthy of a toast. Also, watch the 2007 Christmas movie "Unaccompanied Minors", as it will be the topic of conversation for the next episode. Thanks for listening!

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