This is Marriage

All of our pets have anxiety and it is causing Podcast to self-harm and lick himself excessevily. He has these massive sores on his neck from iicking too much. We also met with a dog trainer and found out that most of Rosie's issues stem from her excessive anxiety. The trainer suggested medication, so we will keep you informed. In other news, Ash and I saw Captain Marvel this morning...at 9:05am. Yes, you read that right. 9:05am. In the morning! We are seeing the new Avengers movie in two weeks and I told Ash she HAD to see Captain Marvel before watching Endgame. Don't worry, we don't actually talk about the movie, there are no spoilers. Isn't it funny how wives refuse to listen to or take any advice from husbands? I've tried to tell Ash she should watch the Marvel movies and she's like no, they're dumb. And then we go see it and she's like oh, this was really good and we should watch the other ones too. And I'm like no shit. This was a good episode. Check it out.

We talk about some of the ways Ashley has been able to get out of her comfort zone this year, the importance of support, and how to deal with an unsupportive partner. Ash also make a big announcement about the next big phase in her progression (it's not a baby) so make sure to check it out.

In this quickie episode, Ash and Porter review finances and how they are doing in their goal to pay off their credit card debt. If you haven't had a chance to listen to the debt episode, check out "Bring Out Your Debt" and you'll know what they are talking about. From there they pretty much just ramble incoherently for another 20 minutes. But it's still worth checking out. If you have ideas for topics or suggestions (cause the well is dry if ya know what I mean), don't hesitate to email at thisismarriagepodcast@gmail.com

Ash and Porter talk about how Ash deals with being married to a man with ADD as well as raising a step-daughter with ADD. They talk about some of the issues she deals with as well as solutions and ways they've learned to communicate and avoid fights. Ash talks about how she never really believed ADD or ADHD was a real thing or at least didn't impact people the way they said it did. She always thought it was more of an excuse or cop out than a real problem. But after 5 years being together, she has realized how many of the things she took personally or was frustrated with aren't intentional, but caused by her husband's ADD. Some of the issues Ashley mentions are: > The Uh-Huh Scenario > Issues with money and impulsive spending > Time management > Not paying enough attention to the baby Here are some of the resources we mention in the episode: https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-marriage-advice-husband-symptoms/ https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-marriage-advice-husband-symptoms/ http://www.drhallowell.com/add-adhd/add-students/tips-for-helping-kids-with-adhd-succeed-in-school/

Ash and Porter talk about their wedding and what it cost and what they would do differently next time...not that there will be a next time. Ash explains where she cut costs by making things herself (read about our cheap honeymoon) We also talk about where we wish we hadn't been cheap and had spent more money.

In tonight's episode, we get into dad guilt. A few weeks? Months? ago we talked about mom guilt and I didn' t think I had any guilt as a father, but then after listening to a favorite podcast, I realized I do. And we talk about it here.  Some of the things I feel guilty about are: Not giving my daughter enough of my time or support at her extracurricular activities. Not taking my son (even though he's only like 16 months old) on hikes or fishing or other masculine shit. Not making what I consider to be enough money to give them the lives I feel like they should have. We also talk about the difference in the relationship between me and my daughter and me and my son and the guilt that comes when I think I don't do enough manly stuff to pass onto my son.  Check out Ash's blog: www.wildandashes.com

Not every woman feels the calling to be a mom, or "procreate" as our listener puts it in her email. In this episode Ash and I attempt to assuage some of the doubts that come with having a kid. Many people suffer from anxiety and the thought of having a kid does nothing but fuel the flames, especially for those who will carry the baby. There are irreparable changes to a woman's body to take into consideration. There are possible conflicts between partners once the baby comes and a whole spectrum of guilt and jealousy.  Every woman, pregnancy, and delivery is different. We give the best advice we can based on our situation, but yours may be different and our advice may be shitty given your circumstances. That happens. We do the best we can, but we can only speak from our context. Having a baby is a serious decision and as such shouldn't be taken lightly or made to assuage a partner. 

In true This is Marriage fashion, today we openly talk about something normal people are too scared or embarrassed to talk about. Debt. This was probably one of our toughest episodes to record as it was definitely our most transparent and vulnerable. We talk about how we got into credit card debt, what we are going to do to dig out, and share with you exactly how much we owe. It's a good un. 

In this first episode of 2019, Ash and I are back and better than ever. Just kidding, we haven't changed a thing. Today, we talk about the highs and lows of 2018, our goals for 2019, the dangers of breaking promises to yourself, and how to live intentionally.  We have both become huge fans of people like Ed Mylett and Rachel Hollis and are working to implement some of the things they teach about deliberately planning your day and being proactive instead of reactive.  How do you plan your new year and what changes are you going to make for 2019? What were some of the things you loved about your relationships from 2018 and what were some things you didn't love and would like to change going forward? How are you going to improve your marriage, your relationship with your partner, your relationship with your kids this year?

This game of "Would You Rather" was touted as "The Toughest Game Of Would You Rather: Christmas Edition" Spoiler alert: it wasn't. But it was a lot of fun. Ash and I had a blast playing and its safe to say we had a really hard time staying on topic. Oh, and we also review the top 20 list of Christmas movies. I've added the link so you can go and play as well.  Please rate and review! We would love to hear what you like about our podcast.  https://www.buzzfeed.com/joannaborns/would-you-rather-christmas

Ash and I took an online quiz so now we're experts on the five love languages and communication.

Tonight we got emotional. Ash and I talk about mom shaming and the guilt most moms carry around. Ash talks about how she feels like a bad mom because of the food our baby eats (or doesn't eat) and the constant comparison to other moms who get their babies to eat healthy food.  We also go down the rabbit hole and explore the many reasons women feel like they are failing as moms and letting their kids down.  Big thanks to @honestlymommy for using her platform on Instagram to create a safe space for moms to vent and share what they are feeling.  At the end of the episode we both got emotional and I made Ash come up with 5 reasons that she is a good mom. Tears were shed and I had a hard time talking. We also put out a challenge to get moms to email us at thisismarriagepodcast@gmail.com or share at our Facebook community page This is Marriage Support Group 5 reasons why they are good moms, or 5 things about their moms or grandmas that they appreciated. We also asked for men to share some love and tell us 5 things about their ladies that made them good moms and then to tell THEM. Too often we don't tell our baby mommas how they are bad ass and killing it. We need to let them know how much we appreciate what they do and how much they mean to us.   

On this episode of the podcast, we discuss SANTA!!! We talk about whether you should let your kids believe in Santa or not. Also, when/if should you tell your kid that Santa is a big hoax? Are there negatives to letting your kid believe in Santa? Does it eventually create trust issues between you and your kid? Will it give them a complex? We don't know. We're probably the worst people to ask. Anyway, we have a ton of fun and Ash is a major space case tonight. It was weird. Enjoy!   We also talk about a fantastic This is Marriage Drinking Game. So check that out. The rules are below.   

Tonight we talk about the power of gratitude to help get through a rough patch and the way it can change your outlook on life. We share 5 things we are grateful for (one of which was that baby boy didn't wake up and interrupt the podcast).    Gratitude is perhaps the most important key to finding success and happiness in the modern day. Knowing what we appreciate in life means knowing who we are, what matters to us and what makes each day worthwhile. Paying attention to what we feel grateful for puts us in a positive frame of mind. It connects us to the world around us and to ourselves. Research demonstrates that focusing on what we are grateful for is a universally rewarding way to feel happier and more fulfilled.  

On this episode of the podcast, Ash and I talk about our feelings on Christmas. We talk about the appropriate time to start decorating for Christmas (the answer is after Thanksgiving and not one minute before) as well as our feelings around gift giving and the whole commercialism of the holiday.  If you like our little podcast, please share it with a friend. Rate and review on iTunes and don't forget to follow us on Facebook at This is Marriage Support Group. You can also email us at thisismarriagepodcast@gmail.com if you have specific topics you want us to address. We do this podcast for you, so please let us know how we can improve it and what you'd like to hear us talk about. 

We had meant to put this story in our Halloween episode, but it just didn't work out that way. But it was entirely too good to leave out. We couldn't bear the thought of withholding this spooky story from you, our beloved audience. So as the final minutes of Halloween tick by, enjoy this super extra special bonus episode of This is Marriage Podcast. 

Ash is back and healthier than ever (although wicked sleepy). Tonight we are STOKED to bring your our first ever Halloween special. We share our thoughts on scary movies, our favorite creepy podcast, whether or not we believe in ghosts, and we share some first-hand accounts of the supernatural.  Don't forget to rate and review on iTunes. We'd love to hear from you. You can also subscribe to our Facebook community page "This is Marriage Support Group" by clicking here.

Hey guys, sorry to do this, but Ash is wicked sick (say that in a Boston accent for extra credit) and so we aren't recording a new episode tonight. Wild is teething. AGAIN. Which means we aren't sleeping as well as we normally are, especially Ash since she's a badass and still gets up with him even though she feels like she's been run over by a truck. So, instead of a new episode, we thought we would treat all our new listeners to an old favorite episode. The one where we talk about poop. I really don't know why everyone loved it so much, but here it is. Enjoy!! Also, don't forget to submit your experiences with the supernatural for our Halloween show next week. We would love to totally rip off My Favorite Murder and tell your stories, but we need them first. You can email them to thisismarriagepodcast@gmail.com or submit them to our Facebook community page. This is Marriage Support Group. 

Chores. We all have to do them and we all hate them. Tonight we talk about the division of labor within the household. We talk about our different philosophies on chore charts (for adults) and the expectations of what our house should look like.  Let's face it, it is hard to keep a house clean with 2 dogs, 1 cat, and a toddler, but that doesn't mean we should be embarrassed about it. Ash and I talk about the fact that our house isn't what we want it to be and is a major source of unhappiness.  How do you divide up chores and who does what? We'd love to hear from functioning adults on how you do chores around the house and who is responsible for what.  Also, please don't forget to rate and review on iTunes. Take a couple minutes and leave us a review. We will love you forever!!! Join our Facebook community, This is Marriage Support Group

Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need. DR. MEREDITH GREY, Grey's Anatomy, "Something to Talk About"  On this episode of the podcast, Ash and I talk about communication and the many problems couples have when it comes to telling people how we feel. Many relationships are ruined by poor communication and yet it is something that many many couples overlook. We talk about validating your partner's needs, how to show love, and how to talk about a need that isn't being met. It's funny, It's real. But not really funny.   Check it out, leave us a review on iTunes.

On tonight's episode of the This is Marriage Podcast, Ashley and I talk about our recent trip to the beautiful state of Wisconsin where we were fortunate enough to go see her favorite NFL team, The Green Bay Packers. GO PACK GO! We talk about the trials that come from sharing a hotel room with friends (Ash didn't poop for 4 days). And how hard it was to leave the baby behind for 4 days.  Don't forget to rate and review us. Leave us a comment. Share with your friends. 

It was my birthday just a few days ago and so we decided we should talk about the whole birthday thang. Ash and I have very different opinions on celebrating birthdays. She loves her birthday and wants to make it a party, whereas I don't love being the center of attention and could go without any type of celebration. We talk about kids and what kind of party is appropriate for kids and where to draw the line. 

We aren't dieticians or nutritionists or doctors or even responsible adults. In fact, we are probably the least qualified people to offer advice on weight loss.  That being said, tonight Ash and I talk about losing weight and the pros and cons of trying to "diet" in a relationship. Evidently, there are people who are in a relationship and work to lose weight just so that once the relationship ends they can attract someone new. We also talk about the resentment that comes when one person is losing weight and their partner isn't on board. 

Tonight, we pick up our Q&A session and answer the rest of your questions and even some you didn't ask. We talk about how we came up with our son's name, whether or not we want more kids, and what is something we would change in each other if we could.    If you love random facts about random people, this is the podcast episode for you. If you don't love random facts, well, you should still listen. Don't forget to review, leave us a comment, let us know what you like and what you don't. 

in this episode, we talk about my depression. And. It. Gets. Real. Depression affects (insert statistic here) couples each and every day. For some reason, depression and other mental health issues are still considered taboo and many people (especially men) refuse to talk about it or acknowledge that it is a problem. Tonight, we are open and raw and talk about how my depression affects our relationship and some of the less obvious side effects. Check it out.    Also. If you are suffering from depression, feel alone, or simply want to chat, you can email us at thisismarriagepodcast@gmail.com please don't hesitate to get help.  You are loved. You are needed. You are valuable.  IF YOU ARE EVEN THINKING OF SUICIDE, PLEASE CALL 1-800-273-8255 they also have a chat line and are available 24hrs a day. 

Ash finally gets new eyelashes but thinks she looks like a prostitute (not there's anything wrong with that). Tonight we talk about what to do if you don't feel like you are getting enough meaningful time with your significant other and how to recognize when you might be spending to much time together *yes, it's possible. 

What age should gets get tablets or phones? How much screen time should they get? What are some of the pros and cons of giving kids access to technology? In tonight's episode, we don't answer any of these questions (at least not thoroughly) but have fun talking about it.  We know that every parent is different and no two children are alike, so we don't attempt to define the right or wrong way to use technology in the home (we don't judge) but we have our opinions and we talk about how we will raise our son(s).

It is never easy to end a relationship. Tonight Ash and I talk about some of the signs your relationship has run its course and is no longer worth fighting for. She talks about an abusive relationship she was in and some of the things she wishes she had known. We talk about what to look for in a crappy relationship and signs it is time to walk away.  Don't forget to subscribe, rate and review. We love you!  

Have you ever been given some type of advice on how to raise your kid only to roll your eyes and walk away? Does your family love to tell you all the things you're doing wrong as a parent? Well, in tonight's podcast, we talk about the really awful advice people have received from strangers, family, and even doctors on how to raise their kids. 

We talk about what we consider to be cheating and where to draw the line with "plutonic" relationships with the opposite sex. Can you even have friendships with the opposite sex once you are in a relationship?  Also, we talk about emotional affairs and whether going to the strip club or watching porn is cheating or not. Do you believe that once a cheater, always a cheater is true? We talk about that, too. 

This week's episode was an extremely tough one to record. We openly talked about a very sensitive subject that has caused countless fights in our home and hurt a lot of feelings–Ash's feelings towards my daughter. We wanted it to be open and "unfiltered" and were unprepared for the feelings that would surface. Guess it changes things when you are talking to an audience instead of just having a private fight.  We had to record a different ending because shit got weird and awkward and we just kind of stopped talking. We hope you enjoy this episode because I honestly don't know of too many other podcasts that "pull back the curtain" to give you such an intimate look into their personal lives. 

We are home from camping and totally unprepared for tonight's episode. SO. What do we do? Turn to our Facebook group and crowd source ideas. Turns out people want to know some of the more private details of our lives. Not wanting to disappoint, here's our very first Q&A session where we try to answer some of the questions that came to us from Facebook. Disclaimer: We do talk about S-E-X so in addition to our regular slew of profanity, there is also that. So, ya know, just be aware, nothing too graphic, but it's there. 

We went camping with some friends who are fans of our podcast and so, after a few drinks, we decided it would be a good idea to record an episode of the podcast. Not sure that was an entirely good idea, but we had a good time and you get the opportunity to listen to 4 adults make fools of themselves.    Enjoy.  

In this episode, we talk about the different ways couples approach confrontation and argue. Some people, like Ashley, are pursuers and will fight until they feel like the problem is resolved (aka they won).  Others, are more like Porter and avoid confrontation at all costs.  We also talk about our love for HelloFresh and continue in our campaign to get them to sponsor us.  Here are some codes for free meals. We have 4 more if you send us your email address.  C2Q64GMCS YTC7TRZPX KY6V6FXAA  

We've all had that one friend that we can count on to let us down. Tonight, we talk about Ash's pet peeve of dealing with people who say yes and commit to a plan, when in reality they have no intention of actually following through.  Oh, and I got laid off...so there's that.  We mentioned Ash's blog post. You can read it here. http://everydaywanderers.com/the-yes-man-generation/

Tonight we talk about depression and its impact on a relationship. We look into reasons why men are so hesitant to admit they are depressed and even less likely to do something about it. We also take a brief quiz to self-diagnose Porter's depression (turns out he is...big surprise). Ironically, we have a lot of fun though it is a tough issue to tackle. Here are links to some of the sources we mentioned. Enjoy! Don't forget to join our Facebook group You can also email us at thisismarriagepodcast@gmail.com  This is the video Ash mentioned at the end of the episode. It is a really interesting look into suicide from a survivor. Prepare to get emotional.  https://youtu.be/WcSUs9iZv-g Unofficial Sponsorship: https://www.facebook.com/fuzzynates/  

Thanks for being patient as we attempt to change some things around with how we do the show. I think I finally got it to work. Fingers crossed! Anyway, tonight we had the pleasure of sitting down with another Ashley and talk about her experiences as a young mother and the criticism she received from other women. We talk about reasons why woman hate on each other and some of the "shade" thrown at moms.  Don't forget to join our Facebook Group so you can stay in the know with upcoming episodes, ask questions, and contribute to the ongoing discussions. 

How often should couples fight? Tonight we talk about the three main reasons couples fight. Can you guess what they are? We’ve had our fair share of fights about all of them and in tonight’s episode, we talk about why we fight and how we can be better communicators (as if men and women had […] The post Reasons Couples Fight, Pet Peeves, and I Sharted. appeared first on Everyday Wanderers.

On today’s episode, Ash and I get down and dirty and talk about…well, there’s no polite way of saying it-poop. It seems like it is a conversation most couples avoid, which means it is something we want to address here. When, if ever, is it appropriate to fart (break wind, pass gas) in front of […] The post Episode 5: All About Poop appeared first on Everyday Wanderers.

In today’s episode, we talk about the “joys” of taking a 9-hour road trip with an infant. Porter manages to piss Ashley off and makes things weird. We also explore why so many parents give up living their lives just because they have kids. We both feel that your kid’s schedule should not trump or dictate your […] The post Episode 4: Is it Possible to Have a Life After Kids? appeared first on Everyday Wanderers.

On this week’s podcast, we talk about our upcoming family road trip to Lake Tahoe and the crazy amount of stuff required to travel with a baby. This will not only be our first-time vacationing with my (Porter) daughter, but also with the baby so to say we are wound pretty tight is an understatement. […] The post Episode 3: Traveling with Kids Sucks. And Ash is Still Wearing Sweatpants. appeared first on Everyday Wanderers.

In today’s episode, we talk about our eventful (for lame married people) weekend and Ash gets real when talking about her struggles with anxiety and how it has impacted all aspects of her life. This episode runs a little long, but we didn’t want to cut her story short as it is a serious issue […] The post Episode 2: Ash spills her drink and talks about her anxiety appeared first on Everyday Wanderers.

In the first ever episode of This is Marriage we suffer a bit of an identity crisis. Ash wanted to call it The Husband and Wife show (which was taken, sorry Ash) so that’s what we called it, but then after thinking about it, we changed to This is Marriage. After brief introductions, we talk […] The post Ep 1: This is Mom Life-Sweat Pants and Runny Noses appeared first on Everyday Wanderers.